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Speaker 1: Good.

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Speaker 2: All right, break it down.

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Speaker 3: If you ever have feelings that you just won Amy

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Speaker 3: and Cat gotcha Covin locking No, brother, Ladies and folks,

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Speaker 3: do you just follow an the spirit where it's all

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Speaker 3: the front over real stuff to the chill stuff and

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Speaker 3: the m but Swayne, sometimes the best thing you can

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Speaker 3: do it just stop you feel things. This is feeling things.

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Speaker 4: With Amy and Kat.

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Speaker 2: Happy Tuesday. Welcome to feeling things. I'm Amy and I'm

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Speaker 2: Cat and I just like to start off the episode

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Speaker 2: with a little cat brag, A brag about Cat. Okay, Like,

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Speaker 2: if anyone has ever questioned your skills, I just want

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Speaker 2: to say you have them and they shouldn't question you

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Speaker 2: at all. So we have a listener voicemail coming out

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Speaker 2: that we're gonna play in the episode, and the topic

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Speaker 2: of it is marrying someone with an eating disorder, and

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Speaker 2: it's a female listener. Like when I was just reading

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Speaker 2: the transcript, it's from Corey, and I got all excited.

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Speaker 2: We have a voicemail from a male listener and I

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Speaker 2: was like, and I think he's marrying someone with an

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Speaker 2: eating disorder, which unfair of me. I saw Corey. I thought, man,

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Speaker 2: I thought woman with the eating disorder. Well, then we

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Speaker 2: hit the voicemail and I heard a female voice and

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Speaker 2: I was like oh. And then I think I said, well,

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Speaker 2: maybe she's a lesbian. And I was like, okay, no men, yes,

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Speaker 2: is this a reminder that men can have stuff with

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Speaker 2: food and body and all the things.

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Speaker 5: We know that.

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Speaker 2: But as we're listening to the voicemail, because we listened

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Speaker 2: to the entire thing before we started recording, and Cat

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Speaker 2: just goes, oh, sounds like arfid Is that how? He said?

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Speaker 2: Then the listener, well, y'all hear coming up in the voicemail.

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Speaker 2: But there was a moment where immediately after you said that,

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Speaker 2: the listener says something and I was like ah. I

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Speaker 2: looked at Kat and I was like, dang, you're good,

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Speaker 2: and You're like, no, I'm just using the things that

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Speaker 2: i've learned to put too two together. She literally was

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Speaker 2: describing something, and I I shared my opinion. Now, obviously,

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Speaker 2: as a therapist on this podcast, you're never diagnosing anybody

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Speaker 2: with anything because you can't. They're not your client. And

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Speaker 2: what's that book?

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Speaker 5: The D five Diagnostic nine Artistical Manual. Five. We're on

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Speaker 5: five d S and five.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we need a six soon, which I don't know

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Speaker 1: when that's coming out, but I think it's funny that

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Speaker 1: you were like, oh my gosh, you knew that when

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Speaker 1: that was a to me, it's just that's basic, so

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Speaker 1: sided advance. I hope that you would think I have

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Speaker 1: basic too.

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Speaker 2: You you have basic and advanced knowledge. I just would say,

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Speaker 2: I'm impressed.

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Speaker 5: Oh, thank you, thank you, pause, pause, pause, pose, thank you.

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Speaker 2: Okay, there we go, which that reminds me. I complimented

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Speaker 2: something to my boyfriend the other day, and I guess

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Speaker 2: he listened to that episode or he saw the social

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Speaker 2: clip or something, because I gave him a compliment and

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Speaker 2: he looked at me and he was like, thank you,

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Speaker 2: pos pas pos posas.

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Speaker 5: And I was like, oh, that's not part of it.

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Speaker 2: You keep saying that, yeah, thank you, because that's supposed

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Speaker 2: to someone compliments you, even if it feels backhanded, because

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Speaker 2: that wasn't at all. It wasn't my intention to be like, oh, man,

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Speaker 2: Kat's so smart and you're like any that's basic. Obviously,

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Speaker 2: I have basic skills. I just just impressed, thank you.

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Speaker 2: You're welcome.

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Speaker 1: To How to say you're welcome to somebody? You just

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Speaker 1: want to keep going and talking.

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Speaker 2: And I just have to be like, wow, she accepted it, okay,

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Speaker 2: and I can just say then nada. We're going to

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Speaker 2: get to the feeling of the day, which is from me.

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Speaker 5: You Yes, I have it.

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Speaker 1: I am feeling energized, and I'm feeling energized because I

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Speaker 1: had a very normal weekend, which is funny because I

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Speaker 1: still did things. It's not like I didn't leave my house,

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Speaker 1: but we did very low key things. This morning, I

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Speaker 1: woke up early, like before my alarm. I was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I wanted to get things started. Was folding my laundry

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Speaker 1: before I was getting ready. And then I was you know,

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Speaker 1: as you do in the morning scrolling Instagram.

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Speaker 2: You're not supposed to do that. You're a therapist. You

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Speaker 2: should november.

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Speaker 1: I said that doom scrolling, which I wasn't doom scrolling.

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Speaker 1: I was just taking a break. Scrolling isn't always bad.

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Speaker 2: You've said that, like on a previous episode.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So I came across this meme and it said we

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Speaker 1: should be able to call in healthy to work, and

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Speaker 1: then it had in quotes, look, I am not coming

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Speaker 1: in today. I feel good and I don't want to

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Speaker 1: waste it on being at work right.

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Speaker 2: Like, I feel awesome, and if I'm at work, what

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Speaker 2: a waste.

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Speaker 1: Well, my thought was like, Okay, why do we only

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Speaker 1: get to call out of work when we're not feeling good?

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Speaker 1: But we don't get to take advantage of our best days.

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Speaker 1: We have to use our best days to be productive at.

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Speaker 2: Work, because how many of those days do we really have.

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Speaker 1: I was feeling pretty good and I almost called you

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Speaker 1: and said I'm not coming in today.

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Speaker 5: Record we want you energized. So yeah, no, I couldn't

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Speaker 5: do that, but that's a good thought.

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Speaker 1: Then I was like, I guess we have you can

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Speaker 1: have like a mental health day, or I guess you

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Speaker 1: have PTO.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, if you want to take all your paid times off.

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Speaker 2: But some people's jobs good, like my job requires me

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Speaker 2: to be there because I'm a voice on a show,

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Speaker 2: Like I'm an active participant. Now if I sat at

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Speaker 2: a desk and maybe it didn't matter when I got

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Speaker 2: my work done or I did I wasn't dependent on

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Speaker 2: other people at the exact same time, that might work.

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Speaker 2: Like an accountant or something.

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Speaker 1: Like Patrick could do it, yes, but he doesn't call

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Speaker 1: out of work because he's always stressed because his job

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Speaker 1: is stressful. So nobody can really do this I can't.

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Speaker 1: That would be awful if I was, like, I'm feeling

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Speaker 1: my best, I'm definitely not going to go.

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Speaker 5: Help people today.

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Speaker 2: I really want to feel terrible when.

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Speaker 1: I'm giving you advice, because honestly, when I'm sick, when

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Speaker 1: I just have like a cold or something and I'm

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Speaker 1: not like deathly ill, I don't really mind going to

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Speaker 1: work because I'm like, what else am I going to do?

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Speaker 1: I can't really do anything with my day. It's better

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Speaker 1: to be sick during the week than sick on a weekend.

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Speaker 1: But that doesn't really no man now.

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Speaker 2: But I'm glad you're feeling energized and awesome. I wonder

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Speaker 2: what that's about.

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Speaker 5: Well, I think it's because I didn't run myself into

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Speaker 5: the ground this weekend.

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Speaker 2: You were low key.

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Speaker 5: I was channeling you vibes.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I love weekends like that. But I doesn't mean

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Speaker 2: I'm extra energized on a Monday or anything. I just

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Speaker 2: love low key weekends. I have those days though, that

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Speaker 2: you're talking about, like once a month maybe or so.

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Speaker 2: I know it's part of my hormone cycle. I know

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Speaker 2: what it is. I don't know what hormones getting released,

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Speaker 2: but there is something that's happening or not happening, whichever

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Speaker 2: hormone is active or not active. That really just helps

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Speaker 2: me feel amazing and then it goes away.

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Speaker 1: Well, now I'm trying to think of like what if

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Speaker 1: it's hormone related to me, But it wouldn't be because I.

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Speaker 2: Thought you were supposed to get crazy or something.

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Speaker 5: I am about. Well you haven't yet.

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Speaker 6: I know.

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Speaker 1: Well, confession, that's patrick that he might say something else,

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Speaker 1: although we did talk about it the other day because

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Speaker 1: I said to him, he did something with my car,

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Speaker 1: he did something nice. He got my oil chain for

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Speaker 1: me because I really hate doing that. But he accidentally

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Speaker 1: connected his he messed up the like connection of the

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Speaker 1: phones and whatever. I was one of those things where

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Speaker 1: I was overreacting for sure, and I knew it. And

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Speaker 1: I sent him this text that was like, you have

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Speaker 1: to fix this.

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Speaker 5: You better. It was something like you better fix this

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Speaker 5: or something, and he.

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Speaker 1: Responded I know because he like, yes, this was after

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Speaker 1: he did something nice for me, Chase.

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Speaker 5: This is what I said.

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Speaker 1: I said, I'm so annoyed right now, you better fix this.

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Speaker 1: And in my head, I'm like, Catherine, what are you doing?

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Speaker 5: He is so nice?

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Speaker 1: I was talking myself down from this, and he just responded, Okay,

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Speaker 1: no problem. I almost don't know if he didn't read

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Speaker 1: it in a sassy tone, because he was like, of course,

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Speaker 1: she's not being mean to me.

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Speaker 5: Why would she be mean to me? I just did

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Speaker 5: her a favor.

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Speaker 1: But then later I was talking to him and I said,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry I overreacted. I was just really stressed and

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Speaker 1: I was hot and I was late to where I

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Speaker 1: was going. And he said, that's like, it's okay as

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Speaker 1: long as you recognize that you're doing that. And I said,

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Speaker 1: if you ever spoke to me that way, it would

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Speaker 1: not be okay. You know, like if can you imagine

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Speaker 1: Patrick send me a text and it's like, you better

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Speaker 1: fix this.

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Speaker 2: I'm so annoyed with you. I know I cannot imagine that.

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Speaker 1: Like that's such a double standard. So I blamed it

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Speaker 1: on my hormones. And then he said, I really don't

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Speaker 1: think you're being that much. Now that I'm telling the story,

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Speaker 1: it makes me wonder because he's like, I really don't

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Speaker 1: think you're being that much different.

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Speaker 2: He's like, that sounded pretty much like how you talk.

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Speaker 5: He did say.

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Speaker 1: He said, when you get frustrated, you always are quick

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Speaker 1: to apologize, so he's it's not like you're not recognizing

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Speaker 1: when you're being cucku.

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Speaker 5: He would never say cuku. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I think that my boyfriend is a lot like Patrick

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Speaker 2: and the just not playing into the cuckoo, which isn't

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Speaker 2: perplexing to me because I'm like, why are you not

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Speaker 2: We've sort of talked about this before, like either he's

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Speaker 2: not like gonna add fuel to the fire, like I'm

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Speaker 2: maybe wanting to engage a little bit, like ruffle the

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Speaker 2: feathers and I'll I'm feel.

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Speaker 5: A little brink.

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Speaker 2: Maybe I don't know what it is, but I do it.

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Speaker 2: And then he just like it falls flat.

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Speaker 1: But I'm like, chaos you're trying to create fall flat?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because it's what it feels like. It falls flat.

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Speaker 2: But I think he's like, I'm just not going to

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Speaker 2: engage in this, Like whatever this is, I'm just going

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Speaker 2: to ignore it and it will go away. And it does.

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Speaker 2: But I had to really talk myself out of it

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Speaker 2: the other day. I'm like, don't keep going, don't keep going,

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Speaker 2: don't keep going, because I was trying to poke a

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Speaker 2: little bit and I don't know why. Just like you,

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Speaker 2: I was aware of it, like I am aware right now,

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Speaker 2: this is not very rational, but I don't care, but

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Speaker 2: it was. I know it was hormones. Then the next day,

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Speaker 2: I think I started my period, and I was like, oh,

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Speaker 2: it all makes sense now, Like it's validation because you

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Speaker 2: know when you're aware of the crazy and then you

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Speaker 2: you still hit send and then they're like, yeah, what

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Speaker 2: do you want for dinner?

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Speaker 5: And I'm like, I think part of it. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: For Alex, I'm gonna say make an assumption. For Patrick,

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Speaker 1: I think he never assumes I'm trying to be mean,

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Speaker 1: or he never assumes I'm trying to be rude, or

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Speaker 1: he never assumes that. So he doesn't read into things

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Speaker 1: the way that I might read into them. So when

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Speaker 1: I sent that text, I think he probably read it

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Speaker 1: with a normal tone. So he was like, oh, she's annoyed,

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Speaker 1: but no problem, I'll fix it later. I don't think

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Speaker 1: he thought I was.

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Speaker 2: I could be wrong, yeah, but we know how you felt.

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Speaker 2: You were like you better fix this. Yeah. Well, speaking

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Speaker 2: of texts, yeah, I got one for my ex husband.

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Speaker 5: Were you poking that bad?

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Speaker 4: No?

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Speaker 2: Okay, I wasn't. This is actually like a good text

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Speaker 2: where I was like, oh, look, how far we have

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Speaker 2: come because he was texting me about celebrating something for

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Speaker 2: our son, and he said that our son wanted to

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Speaker 2: do it the whole family altogether, so that would be me,

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Speaker 2: his mom, his dad, his sister. And then the last

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Speaker 2: sentence of the text, he was like, and I think

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Speaker 2: Alex should come too, And I was like, oh, okay,

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Speaker 2: well that would be fun. Not that Ben wouldn't ever

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Speaker 2: want to include Alex, It's just that there was a

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Speaker 2: season where Ben wasn't It wasn't even really about Alex.

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Speaker 2: It was just about Ben and I doing things together

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Speaker 2: and someone that he had been dating, where that just

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Speaker 2: like would not have happened. And that's not in play anymore.

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Speaker 2: And so some of the growth that has happened since

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Speaker 2: then is so wait, that's huge. The fruit is fruiting,

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Speaker 2: you know, the the bloom is blooming, the flowers are blooming.

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Speaker 5: Whatever the say, what is the saying? I have no idea.

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Speaker 5: What's saying?

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Speaker 2: Well, I'm thinking of I'm going to go ahead and

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Speaker 2: do the fruit of the spirit hero So like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness.

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Speaker 5: Self control, you're getting all the fruit?

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Speaker 2: Was that all the nine love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness,

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Speaker 2: face one was self controlled at night. Okay, so those

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Speaker 2: are the fruit of the spirit, right, I had to

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Speaker 2: practice a lot of those, all of them, all the fruits.

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Speaker 2: And I think that patience is a big one in there.

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Speaker 2: It's a big piece of fruit. And now that a

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Speaker 2: lot is fruiting.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, you had a lot of patience fruit.

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Speaker 2: The fruit is fruiting. I'm going to make that a thing.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, wait, this is one of those sayings like sick. Well,

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Speaker 1: you know how I ask like, is there ever a

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Speaker 1: saying that you think you started you're going to start this?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm pretty sure you never heard anybody say the

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Speaker 2: fruit is fruiting. But that's just like, I don't know

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Speaker 2: how to how else you explain it other than it

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Speaker 2: is just fruiting hard. I love it.

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Speaker 5: That's my point.

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Speaker 1: My point is now that you've said this, people are

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Speaker 1: going to start saying, oh, that's fruiting hard, or.

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Speaker 2: That that fruit it is fruiting. Look at you, you are

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Speaker 2: fruit of the spirit.

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Speaker 5: It is fruity pretty hard.

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Speaker 2: I dare have passed her to say that. Just kidding,

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Speaker 2: we know, we dare each other to say stuff. Oh

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Speaker 2: that's coming up in the voicemail too. Yeah, okay mm hm,

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Speaker 2: and you talking about that you have a female Corey,

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Speaker 2: But don't you have an update on that? What finesse? Oh?

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Speaker 2: I said, Finess on the Bobby Bun Show because you

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Speaker 2: told me too.

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Speaker 1: Although I did. I didn't say this because I I

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Speaker 1: wanted to.

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Speaker 2: Did I not use it correctly? Well?

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Speaker 1: No, I didn't want to be a Debbie downer because

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Speaker 1: I was proud of you. But I said you had

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Speaker 1: to say it twice, and you landed it once I did,

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Speaker 1: so you're halfway done.

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Speaker 2: Well then, Corey our upcoming voicemail she counts as number two, okay,

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Speaker 2: because we'll play it here. But Finess, I'll try to

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Speaker 2: say it again. But in that one, that one particular

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Speaker 2: day after you challenged me, I was able to say

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Speaker 2: it one time. I snuck in finesse somehow, and I

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Speaker 2: don't even know for sure if it works, but I

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Speaker 2: did it.

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Speaker 5: It did work. You finessed it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I had finesse.

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Speaker 5: Yes. Do you want to share what you said or

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Speaker 5: I don't even remember?

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Speaker 6: I do?

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Speaker 5: You said fire and then you were like I thought, I.

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Speaker 2: Said, oh, oh oh, yeah, Bobby did something I don't

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Speaker 2: even know what the segment was, but I just like, oh,

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Speaker 2: he answered something really quickly, and I was like fire,

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Speaker 2: and he was like, don't do that. And they everyone

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Speaker 2: on the show like Lunchbox and they were like, awkward, Amy,

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Speaker 2: you can't say fire, And I was like what. I

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Speaker 2: felt like it just rolled off and so I was like,

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Speaker 2: I feel like I said it with finesse.

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Speaker 1: That was perfect, So now to do it. I think

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Speaker 1: this word is gonna like just kind of become.

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Speaker 2: Part of finess or fruiting hard.

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Speaker 1: I'm definitely gonna. I would give you the assignment to

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Speaker 1: say fruiting hard?

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Speaker 2: Should I should?

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Speaker 5: I answer?

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Speaker 2: It's Alex my for remember last time I asked him

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Speaker 2: for money? What should I ask him now?

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Speaker 1: Hardy?

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Speaker 2: Hey, Hello, Hey, I'm recording. I'm trying to think of

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Speaker 2: something funny to say to you right away, but I couldn't,

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Speaker 2: so I was just going, hey, hey, but sometimes you

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Speaker 2: hear you can answer this. I'll put you on speaker, okay,

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Speaker 2: but just answer it honestly. Okay. Do you think that

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Speaker 2: sometimes I look to like start a fight for like

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Speaker 2: no real reason. I just like, okay, okay, I didn't.

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Speaker 2: I didn't really know for sure how to explain it,

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Speaker 2: but he knew exactly what I was talking about. Okay,

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Speaker 2: So you think that sometimes I just I am like

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Speaker 2: just itching for a fight, and then I'm going to

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Speaker 2: ask you what you think you do? Like I'm sort

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Speaker 2: of laying out the bait, and I'm like, oh, I'm like,

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Speaker 2: I got a fishing pole and I've got the bait

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Speaker 2: on there and you're the water, and I stick it

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Speaker 2: in the water, and then what do you do? I say,

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Speaker 2: I'm not doing this right now.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, Okay, that's a different scenario like that.

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Speaker 2: Okay, that's another one which we did have a conversation about.

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Speaker 2: Remember when I shared with you how that made me feel.

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Speaker 5: Use your intentional dialogue?

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Speaker 2: Yes, and then you said.

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Speaker 5: Are you baiting him?

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Speaker 2: He's like, He's like, I'm not going to speak right now.

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Speaker 2: This sounds this sounds like a setup.

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Speaker 5: It kind of is.

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Speaker 2: Okay, well, I'm not trying to set you up, but

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Speaker 2: I was complimenting you in that and saying that, Yes,

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Speaker 2: while there have been two scenarios that I can recall

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Speaker 2: where he has said I'm not doing this right now,

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Speaker 2: which we've worked through. Most of the time, you just

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Speaker 2: roll right over whatever I'm doing, Like you just ignore

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Speaker 2: it and like I'm like left, like what You're not

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Speaker 2: even gonna react to that? And then you're like okay,

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Speaker 2: so what should what do we want for dinner or

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Speaker 2: sort of thing.

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Speaker 6: That's true.

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Speaker 5: Okay, see he's not taking the bait you all all right?

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Speaker 2: Well, thanks for calling. I'll have to hit you later.

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Speaker 5: Wait, that's our first male caller.

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Speaker 2: Good dog, our first male caller.

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Speaker 5: Well, like he called into the show. Oh this is

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Speaker 5: a live black call.

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Speaker 2: Thank you, bye bye.

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Speaker 5: That's Alex from Nashville.

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Speaker 2: He called iny.

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Speaker 5: He just said, yes, yes.

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Speaker 2: Where were we been? My ex Alice, the kids like

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Speaker 2: all that I share that with. Also a church on Sunday.

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Speaker 2: They left us with this little sort of mantra for

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Speaker 2: how to welcome Monday. And it was sort of to

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Speaker 2: wake up and be like hello, hope, which it wasn't

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Speaker 2: dismissing some of the hard things in life, but it

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Speaker 2: was focusing on in romans where it's suffering produces perseverance, perseverances,

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Speaker 2: character and character hope. So it's sort of like that

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Speaker 2: line of events when you're going through something hard and

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Speaker 2: clinging to hope. And it was a woman delivering the message,

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Speaker 2: and she was talking about a difficult time in her

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Speaker 2: life and the pastor of her church came to her.

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Speaker 2: I guess it was about like twenty years ago or

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Speaker 2: something like her son had cancer and he was like, look,

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Speaker 2: you can either walk through this with God or without him,

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Speaker 2: and I'm telling you, with him it's going to be easier.

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Speaker 2: And she's like, I'll never forget that moment because I

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Speaker 2: knew I had a decision to make and I wanted

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Speaker 2: to walk through it with the Lord by my side,

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Speaker 2: and I wanted to cling to the hope. And this

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Speaker 2: morning when I woke up, I flung the covers off

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Speaker 2: my bed and I go, hello, Hope, just.

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Speaker 1: The opposite of what I did. I was like, how

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Speaker 1: can I call in healthy to work today?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, You're like, I want to leave, But I just was.

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Speaker 2: I thought that reminder of like, there is hope. So

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Speaker 2: I hope that story about the evolution of Ben and

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Speaker 2: I's relationship and some of the awkward growing pains of

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Speaker 2: co parenting and navigating dating and relationships, like I hope

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Speaker 2: that the fruit that we have now and been texting

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Speaker 2: me and us all being able to hang out as

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Speaker 2: a family, and Ben and I were working on a

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Speaker 2: charity thing coming up in the fall, and Ben and

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Speaker 2: I literally have a meeting together this week about it,

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Speaker 2: which I think is gonna be so healthy for our

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Speaker 2: kids to see. And I'll share details about that in

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Speaker 2: case man he's in Nashville and they want to come

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Speaker 2: later once we have them after we have our meeting.

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Speaker 2: But I'm just proud of our fruit.

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Speaker 1: And it's helpful for you to share that those good

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Speaker 1: moments because it hasn't always been that way, so it

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Speaker 1: also helps you.

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Speaker 2: Like it was not. I'm telling you that text message

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Speaker 2: have never happened ever ever, Ever, I'm not.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, So that's it's bigger than even what it seems. Also,

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Speaker 1: did you mean to say bearing fruit what I say

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Speaker 1: fruiting hard?

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Speaker 2: Fruiting hard?

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Speaker 1: Well, I just was saying, like, bearing fruit is Shannon,

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Speaker 1: let us know that that is an actual saying, yeah,

421
00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:01,160
Speaker 1: you bear f Well, I didn't know if that's the

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00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:03,080
Speaker 1: saying you were looking for when you said I was

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Speaker 1: my fruit was fruiting?

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Speaker 2: No, Yes, yes you bear fruit. Yes. I think I

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Speaker 2: could have said it that way, and I just was thinking, like.

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Speaker 1: But now people are gonna be saying they're fruiting hard

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Speaker 1: instead of bearing fruit because you've started that.

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Speaker 5: M hm. Anyway, thanks for.

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Speaker 2: Sharing those fruiting. So that is that?

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Speaker 5: Can I shure is Hope?

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Speaker 2: So hello Hope, Hello Hello.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So I want to share with you what we

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Speaker 1: did yesterday and I'm going to give you a quiz.

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Speaker 5: Are you ready?

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Speaker 1: Okay, So we did our cinema Sunday, which I've shared

436
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Speaker 1: before on the show. We do cinema Sundays and it's

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Speaker 1: when one of our friends. This week it was Patrick's turn.

438
00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:42,800
Speaker 1: You pick a movie, it's a surprise, and then you

439
00:20:43,119 --> 00:20:47,760
Speaker 1: create a meal an atmosphere inspired by the movie. Now,

440
00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:49,919
Speaker 1: keep in mind, not every movie has food in it,

441
00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:52,439
Speaker 1: which is crazy to think. There are some movies that

442
00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:56,919
Speaker 1: nobody ever eats. Really clue, there was no food in

443
00:20:56,920 --> 00:20:59,760
Speaker 1: this movie. Okay, So we had to and Patrick was

444
00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:02,760
Speaker 1: so cute. He stressed he really wanted to pick a

445
00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:03,360
Speaker 1: good movie.

446
00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:03,920
Speaker 5: And do a good job.

447
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:05,200
Speaker 2: So he was the one in charge.

448
00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:07,080
Speaker 1: He was the one one in charge. So think, first

449
00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:09,880
Speaker 1: of all, Patrick picked this, not me. I never would

450
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:11,399
Speaker 1: have picked this. I had never seen this movie.

451
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:13,639
Speaker 5: And I'll tell you what the meal was, and then

452
00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:14,320
Speaker 5: I'm gonna give you.

453
00:21:14,359 --> 00:21:18,600
Speaker 1: Three guesses of the movie. Okay, Okay, So we had

454
00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:22,840
Speaker 1: for appetizer a soft pretzel. Then we had for dinner

455
00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:26,919
Speaker 1: New York style pizza, and then for dessert it was

456
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:29,240
Speaker 1: clue New York style cheesecake.

457
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:32,840
Speaker 2: Okay. So did it take place in New York adjacent?

458
00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:38,040
Speaker 5: New York adjacent? Okay? The town is that? Is that

459
00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:38,440
Speaker 5: a movie?

460
00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:41,200
Speaker 1: Yeah? Oh no, I don't know. You don't want to

461
00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:44,320
Speaker 1: get to two other movies. Anybody out in the crowd.

462
00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:47,480
Speaker 5: Have a guess. But that would have pizza and mystic pizza.

463
00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:48,360
Speaker 6: Oh?

464
00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:52,000
Speaker 2: Is it like a documentary about the Yankees? There's surely

465
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:53,720
Speaker 2: there'd be a hot dog in there somewhere.

466
00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:56,520
Speaker 1: You imagine if it was movie night and he picked

467
00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:58,760
Speaker 1: a documentary about the Yankees.

468
00:21:59,119 --> 00:22:00,520
Speaker 5: Yeah, I would not want to watch that.

469
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:03,360
Speaker 2: Well, you already said you wouldn't have chosen this, so

470
00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:04,800
Speaker 2: and he really wanted me to watch?

471
00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:06,320
Speaker 5: You were adjacent? Yeah?

472
00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:09,240
Speaker 2: So something on the East Coast?

473
00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:15,320
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm just gonna tell you please, Okay, the Dark

474
00:22:15,359 --> 00:22:17,800
Speaker 1: Knight is it?

475
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:19,320
Speaker 2: Does Batman take place? I thought it was a.

476
00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:23,600
Speaker 1: Gotham, but Gotham City's inspired by Chicago, New York in London?

477
00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:26,400
Speaker 1: What food would you have picked for the Dark Knight.

478
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:29,880
Speaker 1: That's just so else said it. Okay, this is how

479
00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:33,080
Speaker 1: crazy this is. Somebody we were eating dinner and we

480
00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:34,640
Speaker 1: were talking about it and they're like, well, you could

481
00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:38,399
Speaker 1: have cooked bat And I didn't get it because I

482
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:40,720
Speaker 1: did not realize The Dark Knight was about Batman.

483
00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:46,440
Speaker 5: I thought The Dark Knight was the Joker. I am not. Yeah,

484
00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:47,000
Speaker 5: I didn't know.

485
00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:48,800
Speaker 1: So I was like, do they eat bats in the

486
00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:51,560
Speaker 1: movie and they're like, no, it's Batman. I was like, oh,

487
00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:54,200
Speaker 1: I thought this was just about the Joker. That movie

488
00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:54,800
Speaker 1: is disturbing?

489
00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:58,480
Speaker 2: Is this is that the one that? Oh I never

490
00:22:58,520 --> 00:22:58,880
Speaker 2: saw it?

491
00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:00,119
Speaker 6: You to.

492
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:01,600
Speaker 1: I had to get up and stretch in the middle

493
00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:03,520
Speaker 1: of it because it was two hours and thirty minutes

494
00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:05,480
Speaker 1: and it was so stressful.

495
00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:09,720
Speaker 2: So Cinema Sunday sounds like a real I.

496
00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:12,160
Speaker 5: Know, the last two we've do, but hey.

497
00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:14,879
Speaker 1: This is but it's such a fun idea, fun idea.

498
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:17,160
Speaker 1: It was really fun to watch Patrick get excited about

499
00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:19,240
Speaker 1: it and plan it. The food was good and the

500
00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:22,240
Speaker 1: company was good, and honestly, it is getting me outside

501
00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:23,440
Speaker 1: of my comfort zone.

502
00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:24,600
Speaker 2: Okay, well that's good.

503
00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:25,120
Speaker 5: Yeah.

504
00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:27,520
Speaker 2: I decided to get outside of my comfort zone and

505
00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:29,800
Speaker 2: do something you told me to do. I still want

506
00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:31,520
Speaker 2: to do cinema Sunday at some point.

507
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:32,800
Speaker 5: Yeah, okay.

508
00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:37,199
Speaker 2: But on Saturday night, Alex and I went on an

509
00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:40,600
Speaker 2: impromptu date night and we did the whole less pretend

510
00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:43,240
Speaker 2: like we're from out of town, like you've suggested to do.

511
00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:46,480
Speaker 2: And I highly recommend it for our listeners, whether it

512
00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:50,000
Speaker 2: with a group of girlfriends or even dining alone, like

513
00:23:50,119 --> 00:23:53,560
Speaker 2: you can just be someone different. We did drive out

514
00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:55,880
Speaker 2: of town so that it didn't feel out of town,

515
00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:59,200
Speaker 2: you know, like we're totally lying. Yeah, I drove down

516
00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:03,840
Speaker 2: to Franklin. It was like fifteen minutes. It is technically

517
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:06,520
Speaker 2: another town. Yeah, so went to Franklin.

518
00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:08,480
Speaker 5: What's the song you have to sing that gets you in.

519
00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:13,920
Speaker 2: The Oh, we're on vacation. We're on vacation, Kat the song,

520
00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:16,720
Speaker 2: and I got to say it does help. So we

521
00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:18,080
Speaker 2: kind of were in the car and we're like, we're

522
00:24:18,119 --> 00:24:22,000
Speaker 2: on vacation. And we went and we sat at the

523
00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:25,560
Speaker 2: bar because I feel like it seems like a last minute,

524
00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:27,160
Speaker 2: you know, we're just going to go to this restaurant,

525
00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:30,600
Speaker 2: sit at the bar, checking out the town, and we

526
00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:34,480
Speaker 2: sit down and then the bartender immediately is like, have

527
00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:36,960
Speaker 2: you all ever been here before, and we're like, no,

528
00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:41,440
Speaker 2: we haven't. We're looking at the drinks, and then Alex goes,

529
00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:44,840
Speaker 2: so we're not from around here, and she was maybe

530
00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:48,280
Speaker 2: wanting to try something local, like to drink, like do

531
00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:50,280
Speaker 2: you have a cocktail that's and then he was like,

532
00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:52,960
Speaker 2: h the only thing I really have that local would

533
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:55,680
Speaker 2: be kind of like the bourbon, but I don't want

534
00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:58,119
Speaker 2: to drink bourbon. But then there was a cocktail. There

535
00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:02,880
Speaker 2: was like gin and fresh squeezed carriage juice, and the

536
00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:05,359
Speaker 2: carrots were local. So I got that.

537
00:25:06,119 --> 00:25:06,840
Speaker 5: It was so good.

538
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:09,040
Speaker 2: Okay, I sleep on carriage juice.

539
00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:11,440
Speaker 1: I saw the drink you posts and I almost said,

540
00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:12,600
Speaker 1: are you having a juice?

541
00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:14,560
Speaker 5: But I was like, surely she's not drinking.

542
00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:19,240
Speaker 2: It had gin celery liqueur. I know sounds gross. Was

543
00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:19,680
Speaker 2: it good?

544
00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:20,560
Speaker 5: So good?

545
00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:21,120
Speaker 2: Oh?

546
00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:24,040
Speaker 5: Wait? I love that.

547
00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:26,600
Speaker 1: Alex said, well, so we're not really from around here,

548
00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:28,840
Speaker 1: so he was playing into it.

549
00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:33,199
Speaker 2: We're waiting because we were waiting for the waiter to say, well,

550
00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:36,560
Speaker 2: where arey'all from? Because then we made a plan, well,

551
00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:37,920
Speaker 2: we FaceTime with three on our way down there, and

552
00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:39,040
Speaker 2: we had to come up with a plan that we

553
00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:43,760
Speaker 2: would do it all improv we'd had nothing pre decided planned.

554
00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:48,080
Speaker 2: So if the waiter said, where are y'all from, one

555
00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:50,920
Speaker 2: of us would answer, and then that and then we

556
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:53,199
Speaker 2: roll with it from there whatever that person says. Like

557
00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:56,840
Speaker 2: if Alex had said, you know, we're from New Mexico,

558
00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:58,480
Speaker 2: then I would have to roll with that.

559
00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:00,719
Speaker 5: What if they asked, what in New Mexico?

560
00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:01,520
Speaker 2: Albuquerque?

561
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:05,320
Speaker 5: Oh, okay, why you couldn't think of one? No, Albuquerque

562
00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:06,000
Speaker 5: never heard of it?

563
00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:08,919
Speaker 2: Okay, Santa Fe, I never heard of it.

564
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:10,679
Speaker 1: I'm kidding, I've heard of that. But they would not

565
00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:14,800
Speaker 1: have been top of mind. I would have been like, uh, Franklin.

566
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:17,120
Speaker 5: New Mexico, it's crazy, there's one there.

567
00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:20,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're everywhere, Paris, Texas.

568
00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:22,000
Speaker 5: Yeah. I would have had to do something like that.

569
00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:23,440
Speaker 2: So then we were gonna roll with him. I was

570
00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:25,800
Speaker 2: so excited. And then the waiter never asked us any

571
00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:27,480
Speaker 2: questions none.

572
00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:29,720
Speaker 5: He wasn't interested in your life, sulch.

573
00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:33,840
Speaker 2: No questions, where are we're from? Although he did want

574
00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:37,480
Speaker 2: to share with us more of the native cuisine because

575
00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:40,680
Speaker 2: he brought out this nochi from the chef where he

576
00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:43,360
Speaker 2: was like, you've got to try this. Y'all didn't order

577
00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:45,879
Speaker 2: this one particular thing that this is something that's made

578
00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:48,120
Speaker 2: with grits, which is like a Southern.

579
00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:51,880
Speaker 5: Thing instead of potato. Oh thenocch was was it good?

580
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:55,280
Speaker 2: It was so good? And then there was like a

581
00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:59,160
Speaker 2: bread plate situation and we had already eaten and ordered

582
00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:01,159
Speaker 2: and we were done, but then people sitting next to

583
00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:02,600
Speaker 2: us ordered and I was like, oh my gosh, it

584
00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:04,920
Speaker 2: looks so good, and the waiter came over and said

585
00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:07,000
Speaker 2: it in front of us or the bartender. So I

586
00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:09,520
Speaker 2: can't have you leave without trying some of this bread,

587
00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:13,680
Speaker 2: since you know, I was made from a starter that's

588
00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:17,240
Speaker 2: one hundred and sixty years old, so some like Grandma

589
00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:19,160
Speaker 2: and Franklin at some point.

590
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:20,200
Speaker 5: Maybe passed down.

591
00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:23,840
Speaker 2: I started passed down the starter, and then he wanted

592
00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:27,320
Speaker 2: me to be able to experience it wasn't from around here?

593
00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:28,960
Speaker 5: Okay? Do you think he knew who you were?

594
00:27:29,119 --> 00:27:29,239
Speaker 6: No?

595
00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:31,720
Speaker 1: Not a chance, okay, because then that would that would

596
00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:33,560
Speaker 1: be why he didn't ask where you're from, because then

597
00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:34,440
Speaker 1: if you lied.

598
00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:38,000
Speaker 2: Well, if he said something, I'd be like, I'm not

599
00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:40,840
Speaker 2: from here. I'm from Nashville, right up the road.

600
00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:41,200
Speaker 5: Okay.

601
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:44,359
Speaker 1: But Burtwood, what would what would you do if you

602
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:48,359
Speaker 1: saw somebody? Because this happened to my parents. They I

603
00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:51,560
Speaker 1: think I told you this. They were in Italy and

604
00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:55,000
Speaker 1: my mom swears that Stanley Tucci was at the restaurant

605
00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:58,160
Speaker 1: she was at, and they told their waiter, I think

606
00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:02,359
Speaker 1: that's Stanley Tucci, who has like a Italian food show.

607
00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:04,840
Speaker 1: I don't know on what channel, but he goes to

608
00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:07,480
Speaker 1: different cities and experiences all their different cuisines. So the

609
00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:09,720
Speaker 1: waiter said something to him and he said, no, I'm

610
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:11,040
Speaker 1: a composer from London.

611
00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:13,760
Speaker 5: My mom's on vacation.

612
00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:15,360
Speaker 2: I was on vacation.

613
00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:18,119
Speaker 1: My mom was like, I think he was lying. But

614
00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:20,600
Speaker 1: if you knew somebody was lying, I guess that's the

615
00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:22,560
Speaker 1: polite thing to do. It's like if they don't want

616
00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:24,800
Speaker 1: people to know, then like the like, don't privacy, Yeah,

617
00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:25,680
Speaker 1: don't blow the cover.

618
00:28:26,119 --> 00:28:28,040
Speaker 5: Yeah. If they're like, I know that you're not from

619
00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:29,359
Speaker 5: out of town, you're on the radio.

620
00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:32,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, he didn't do that. Definitely, was that's what I'm

621
00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:33,200
Speaker 2: really cool?

622
00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:33,800
Speaker 5: Service?

623
00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:37,120
Speaker 2: No, but I loved it. We had fun and then

624
00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:41,280
Speaker 2: afterwards he told us, hey, before you go again, sincey'all

625
00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:42,600
Speaker 2: are from around here, you've got to go to this

626
00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:46,480
Speaker 2: speakeasy around the corner and you're gonna enter through like

627
00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:49,440
Speaker 2: where the Mellow Mushroom takes their trash, and it's gonna

628
00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:54,800
Speaker 2: look sketchy, but keep going and then pull this lever

629
00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:57,000
Speaker 2: and a green light's gonna come on and it'll let

630
00:28:57,040 --> 00:28:59,160
Speaker 2: you in. It sounds fake, but it's real.

631
00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:00,720
Speaker 5: Should you be giving this secret out?

632
00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:01,600
Speaker 1: Well?

633
00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:05,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it's it's a speakeasy in Franklin, Okay,

634
00:29:05,440 --> 00:29:07,240
Speaker 2: thinking people, I've never heard of this.

635
00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:07,680
Speaker 5: Yeah.

636
00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:10,600
Speaker 2: So then we're like, well, we're on vacation, so normally

637
00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:12,800
Speaker 2: we would go home, but obviously now we're going to

638
00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:16,360
Speaker 2: go do this. And we really didn't want another cocktail.

639
00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:17,720
Speaker 2: You don't want anything. We're like, well, we'll just get

640
00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:19,280
Speaker 2: one and share it and that way we can have

641
00:29:19,360 --> 00:29:21,480
Speaker 2: the experience. So we go and we walk around. We

642
00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:23,000
Speaker 2: go to the side of mel Mushroom and it is

643
00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:24,719
Speaker 2: starting to kind of smell like trash and we're like

644
00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:28,400
Speaker 2: this is the right Okay, this must be And then

645
00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:30,520
Speaker 2: we go through the door and we open it up

646
00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:35,160
Speaker 2: and there's a line in the trash hallway to the speakeasy,

647
00:29:35,600 --> 00:29:37,720
Speaker 2: and we were like, we're out. That's where we draw

648
00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:41,560
Speaker 2: the line. There's maybe like seven people deep. So a

649
00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:43,840
Speaker 2: couple of couples or maybe like you know, in a

650
00:29:43,880 --> 00:29:46,720
Speaker 2: friend but it smelt like trash. I mean just it

651
00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:49,240
Speaker 2: was like a little alley situation. But I we just

652
00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:50,760
Speaker 2: it wasn't because of the trash. It was just like

653
00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:52,360
Speaker 2: we didn't want to wait, like if we could have

654
00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:54,480
Speaker 2: just walked in and experienced to speak easy. But that's

655
00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:57,080
Speaker 2: where we drew the line. On vacation. We're like, we're done,

656
00:29:57,160 --> 00:29:58,800
Speaker 2: let's go back to our real lives. We're tired.

657
00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:02,000
Speaker 1: Because your vacation was over nine pm. And if you

658
00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:04,280
Speaker 1: were on vacation, would you actually stay in the line.

659
00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:07,840
Speaker 2: I don't think so, because it was just we retired, Okay,

660
00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:09,320
Speaker 2: I had already been a long day.

661
00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:11,520
Speaker 5: Yeah, and you went to a late dinner exactly.

662
00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:13,440
Speaker 2: If maybe it'd have been a little bit earlier, we

663
00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:14,920
Speaker 2: would have done it. But anyway, I will say it

664
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:17,680
Speaker 2: worked like for us, it worked, So thank you for

665
00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:20,959
Speaker 2: the relationship.

666
00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:24,640
Speaker 5: Hack idea tip. It's just fun. It's just fun.

667
00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:26,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, and again it doesn't I guess I call it

668
00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:29,080
Speaker 2: a relationship, but it'd really be just an anything like

669
00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:31,000
Speaker 2: a life, just bringing a.

670
00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:33,160
Speaker 5: Little whimsical whimsy.

671
00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:36,320
Speaker 2: Yes, it's the whimsy. It brought whimsy, So thank.

672
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:36,560
Speaker 5: You for that.

673
00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:39,280
Speaker 1: And what's funny about that is when you called us

674
00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:40,360
Speaker 1: what would you call us?

675
00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:41,760
Speaker 5: At like seven forty five?

676
00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:43,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, and driving down there, I.

677
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:46,280
Speaker 1: Was in bed with my like probably retainer in and

678
00:30:46,320 --> 00:30:49,360
Speaker 1: my classes on. You're like, what are you doing in

679
00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:51,040
Speaker 1: bedcause normally.

680
00:30:50,720 --> 00:30:53,000
Speaker 2: You're the one that's out and about like living it up.

681
00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:56,400
Speaker 2: Patrick's blindfolded and You're like, we're just going to do

682
00:30:56,480 --> 00:30:59,920
Speaker 2: something crazy. And then you're like, oh, this was your low,

683
00:31:00,480 --> 00:31:01,920
Speaker 2: which is why you felt too energized.

684
00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:04,080
Speaker 5: That's good for you. So we switch places.

685
00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:07,040
Speaker 2: Okay, Yeah, are you ready to get into the voicemail?

686
00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:07,440
Speaker 5: Yes?

687
00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:22,440
Speaker 2: Again, the topic is marrying someone with and eating disorder,

688
00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:26,120
Speaker 2: and I'll let Cord you the talking. So we'll hit

689
00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:27,520
Speaker 2: the voicemail. Now here you go.

690
00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:31,720
Speaker 6: Hi, Amy and Kat, This is Corey. I've been a

691
00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:34,640
Speaker 6: longtime fan of the Bobby Bone Show and listen to

692
00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:39,280
Speaker 6: your podcast Amy since day one. Actually we got divorced

693
00:31:39,320 --> 00:31:42,320
Speaker 6: around the same time, and that's one of the reasons

694
00:31:42,320 --> 00:31:45,800
Speaker 6: why I'm messaging. I met an amazing guy as we've

695
00:31:45,840 --> 00:31:49,400
Speaker 6: been dating about eight months. He's very kind and considerate,

696
00:31:49,480 --> 00:31:53,400
Speaker 6: great communicator, love of God. He's the planner, plan spend

697
00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:56,880
Speaker 6: things for me. We have a great time, but there

698
00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:58,160
Speaker 6: is this one thing.

699
00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:01,320
Speaker 4: I think he has an eating discl We're in our

700
00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:06,960
Speaker 4: fifties and there's certain things that he doesn't eat. You

701
00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:10,240
Speaker 4: know how when we're kids, and sometimes kids can be

702
00:32:10,280 --> 00:32:13,920
Speaker 4: picky eaters. Well, he actually never grew out of that.

703
00:32:14,280 --> 00:32:17,760
Speaker 4: He had this to the child, And in contrast, I

704
00:32:17,840 --> 00:32:19,960
Speaker 4: am a big foodie. I love food.

705
00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:22,560
Speaker 6: He's been kind.

706
00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:24,920
Speaker 4: He's taken me to restaurants that I was like, like,

707
00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:27,280
Speaker 4: I love crab legs, and he tissed me there, but

708
00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:28,720
Speaker 4: he didn't eat anything.

709
00:32:28,840 --> 00:32:31,880
Speaker 6: He just watched me eat and enjoyed me eating.

710
00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:33,520
Speaker 5: Was very nice.

711
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:37,200
Speaker 4: And we've gone to like a Hawaiian restaurant and he

712
00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:38,120
Speaker 4: ain't French fries.

713
00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:40,480
Speaker 6: And it's not really been a problem.

714
00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:43,520
Speaker 4: But I think if we are going to continue our

715
00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:46,880
Speaker 4: relationship and possibly get married someday, that it will be

716
00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:50,000
Speaker 4: a problem. I guess I'm just acting your advice. Is

717
00:32:50,040 --> 00:32:53,280
Speaker 4: this an eating disorder? I kind of googled it and

718
00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:57,880
Speaker 4: found something about our FID and he and I talked

719
00:32:57,920 --> 00:33:01,760
Speaker 4: about it and asked me if his eating issues would

720
00:33:02,360 --> 00:33:05,920
Speaker 4: keep me from marrying him someday. And if I'm honest,

721
00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:10,760
Speaker 4: it is a factor in me making that decision. When

722
00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:14,360
Speaker 4: I told him that it bothered him because he did that,

723
00:33:14,760 --> 00:33:18,080
Speaker 4: It's like I was saying that he needed to change

724
00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:22,160
Speaker 4: something that he couldn't change, but can't he So anyway,

725
00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:24,520
Speaker 4: I'd love your buy have a great day.

726
00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:25,640
Speaker 5: Okay.

727
00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:29,160
Speaker 2: That is from our listener, Corey, thank you so much

728
00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:33,440
Speaker 2: for leaving that voicemail. It's like a sensitive situation because

729
00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:37,600
Speaker 2: it's not like he's choosing to be this way, like

730
00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:41,920
Speaker 2: there's something going on, and you obviously enjoy so many

731
00:33:41,920 --> 00:33:45,080
Speaker 2: other things about him, and so that sometimes what can

732
00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:48,480
Speaker 2: make a relationship difficult, especially when it's something that isn't

733
00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:52,040
Speaker 2: officially diagnosed, which is certainly what we cannot do here.

734
00:33:52,840 --> 00:33:55,160
Speaker 2: And I don't think Kat, even being a therapist that

735
00:33:55,200 --> 00:34:00,640
Speaker 2: specializes in eating disorder and body image, you can't even

736
00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:03,920
Speaker 2: say for certain. When the voicemail was playing earlier, I

737
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:06,760
Speaker 2: mentioned this at the top of the episode, You're like, Oh,

738
00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:11,840
Speaker 2: that sounds like our fit, which Corey mentioned in the

739
00:34:11,920 --> 00:34:15,080
Speaker 2: voicemail from her research, that's what she has found. So

740
00:34:16,200 --> 00:34:18,480
Speaker 2: what can you say in regards to that that you

741
00:34:18,480 --> 00:34:21,640
Speaker 2: feel comfortable saying as a therapist and I know as

742
00:34:21,640 --> 00:34:23,839
Speaker 2: a mom like other people that might be listening might

743
00:34:23,880 --> 00:34:26,120
Speaker 2: be like, oh, that sounds familiar, Like I think of

744
00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:28,600
Speaker 2: my daughter when I hear that, and some things that

745
00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:30,600
Speaker 2: she may have going on, and I don't even know.

746
00:34:30,680 --> 00:34:32,319
Speaker 2: I'd never even heard of our fit. So now I

747
00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:34,200
Speaker 2: want to research it and see if there's some different

748
00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:38,320
Speaker 2: things we can do that will help expand her food

749
00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:44,520
Speaker 2: list because food is limited because of how she is

750
00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:46,640
Speaker 2: with food. There are just certain sensitivities and I try

751
00:34:46,680 --> 00:34:48,400
Speaker 2: to have compassion around it, and then it can be

752
00:34:48,480 --> 00:34:53,080
Speaker 2: incredibly frustrating because of texture and taste and all the

753
00:34:53,120 --> 00:34:54,120
Speaker 2: different things at play.

754
00:34:54,680 --> 00:34:58,640
Speaker 1: So why don't we break this down two separate things.

755
00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:01,759
Speaker 1: One I can get we have a little tiny piece

756
00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:04,200
Speaker 1: of what arfit is. And then on the other side

757
00:35:04,239 --> 00:35:07,120
Speaker 1: of that, so there's this concern maybe he has an

758
00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:09,359
Speaker 1: eating disorder, and if he has an eating disorder, does

759
00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:11,879
Speaker 1: not need to be addressed. And then the other part

760
00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:16,040
Speaker 1: of this question is what do I do in this relationship?

761
00:35:16,440 --> 00:35:18,080
Speaker 5: Is this allowed to be a deal breaker?

762
00:35:18,480 --> 00:35:20,080
Speaker 1: Is this going to like how do I work through

763
00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:22,200
Speaker 1: some of those things that maybe I can't change that

764
00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:24,880
Speaker 1: actually might be important to me because it's okay to

765
00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:28,640
Speaker 1: recognize that food being part of your life and something

766
00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:32,480
Speaker 1: that you like to experiment with and enjoy. It's okay

767
00:35:32,520 --> 00:35:35,480
Speaker 1: that that's a big deal to you. So two separate things.

768
00:35:36,120 --> 00:35:40,440
Speaker 1: Let's start with the urfed part. So ourfit is probably

769
00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:43,799
Speaker 1: a lesser known eating disorder because it doesn't typically have

770
00:35:43,960 --> 00:35:47,200
Speaker 1: much to do about somebody's weight and wanting to control

771
00:35:47,239 --> 00:35:50,360
Speaker 1: their weight or any type of body image, which a

772
00:35:50,360 --> 00:35:53,359
Speaker 1: lot of the other types of eating disorders either don't either.

773
00:35:53,480 --> 00:35:56,160
Speaker 1: But this typically doesn't really have anything.

774
00:35:55,880 --> 00:35:59,480
Speaker 5: To do with that. It stands for avoidant restrictive food

775
00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:02,320
Speaker 5: and take disorder, and a lot of times it is

776
00:36:02,400 --> 00:36:06,440
Speaker 5: rooted in like sensory issues which you mentioned, so textures

777
00:36:06,680 --> 00:36:09,839
Speaker 5: or smells, stuff like that that can just be part

778
00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:13,200
Speaker 5: of something that somebody has a hard time sitting with

779
00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:15,440
Speaker 5: or experiencing. So has nothing to.

780
00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:17,840
Speaker 1: Do with oh I don't want to eat that, the

781
00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:20,720
Speaker 1: calories or anything like that. It's that this doesn't feel

782
00:36:20,719 --> 00:36:24,200
Speaker 1: good to me and I can't tolerate it. Or it

783
00:36:24,239 --> 00:36:28,040
Speaker 1: can have to do with traumatic experiences, so if you

784
00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:30,600
Speaker 1: were force fed things as a child or had any

785
00:36:30,640 --> 00:36:33,200
Speaker 1: kind of trauma around foods. Sometimes we can limit our

786
00:36:33,239 --> 00:36:35,280
Speaker 1: palatee in that way to avoid that stuff.

787
00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:37,560
Speaker 5: You can develop it, like if.

788
00:36:37,440 --> 00:36:41,319
Speaker 1: You have medical issues like gastrone testinal issues, you might

789
00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:43,880
Speaker 1: develop a fear of a lot of foods and you

790
00:36:43,960 --> 00:36:46,759
Speaker 1: might want to avoid them and restrict them because of that,

791
00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:50,080
Speaker 1: which all of this stuff is very understandable. Or another

792
00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:54,600
Speaker 1: way that trauma can create some just like dissatisfaction or

793
00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:57,680
Speaker 1: just distaste to a lot of foods is if you've

794
00:36:57,920 --> 00:37:02,080
Speaker 1: had experience of choking or something like vomiting or something

795
00:37:02,120 --> 00:37:05,440
Speaker 1: with eating a food, you might become just very resistant

796
00:37:05,719 --> 00:37:07,400
Speaker 1: to it in the future.

797
00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:09,600
Speaker 5: So that's where a lot of that comes from.

798
00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:14,839
Speaker 1: I think when people see it, their first inclination is

799
00:37:14,880 --> 00:37:17,680
Speaker 1: to have this judgment of they're a picky eater, like

800
00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:20,560
Speaker 1: that's just a picky eater. And this used to be

801
00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:24,359
Speaker 1: called selective eating disorder, where it was like these people

802
00:37:24,360 --> 00:37:27,040
Speaker 1: were only selecting these certain like they're very selective. And

803
00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:30,200
Speaker 1: I think the language on that wasn't very truthful that

804
00:37:30,280 --> 00:37:33,040
Speaker 1: it has a lot more to do with I can't

805
00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:34,640
Speaker 1: tolerate this kind of food and.

806
00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:35,759
Speaker 5: This food is hard for me.

807
00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:38,920
Speaker 1: All that to say, there's treatment for it, and you

808
00:37:38,960 --> 00:37:43,640
Speaker 1: can work through some of these things, and the person

809
00:37:43,680 --> 00:37:47,760
Speaker 1: who's experiencing that has to want to engage in that treatment,

810
00:37:48,120 --> 00:37:51,680
Speaker 1: Like eating sometimes pasta, the texture of pasta. People can

811
00:37:51,719 --> 00:37:54,160
Speaker 1: be really like if I don't, I can't tolerate that.

812
00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:56,839
Speaker 1: For us, we're like, oh pasta, it's so good, it's

813
00:37:56,880 --> 00:38:00,120
Speaker 1: so yummy, or something like yogurt. Yogurt's a big one.

814
00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:02,879
Speaker 1: People are like, oh, I can't. So for maybe us,

815
00:38:02,920 --> 00:38:05,040
Speaker 1: I like that food. It's like, well, just like, learn

816
00:38:05,120 --> 00:38:10,719
Speaker 1: to eat pasta. But it is such a distressing experience

817
00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:15,719
Speaker 1: for somebody like that has this eating disorder to eat

818
00:38:15,719 --> 00:38:18,040
Speaker 1: that food, that it might not be worth it to them.

819
00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:21,919
Speaker 1: So it feels different in their body than we can

820
00:38:22,320 --> 00:38:25,680
Speaker 1: sometimes understand, because just we you can't force yourself to

821
00:38:25,719 --> 00:38:26,399
Speaker 1: experience that.

822
00:38:26,600 --> 00:38:29,239
Speaker 2: Right, because it's not just like, oh, like I don't

823
00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:32,239
Speaker 2: like allips, yes, like olives are disgusting to me. This

824
00:38:32,320 --> 00:38:35,399
Speaker 2: is so much bigger than that. Obviously, the foods get

825
00:38:35,520 --> 00:38:39,839
Speaker 2: so limmited to where they can barely go out to eat,

826
00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:43,080
Speaker 2: and when experiencing food is such an important part to her,

827
00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:45,600
Speaker 2: and while it's so kind that he'll take her and

828
00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:48,440
Speaker 2: he's willing to go, sometimes just sitting there and if

829
00:38:48,480 --> 00:38:51,359
Speaker 2: they're not eating and you're eating in front of them,

830
00:38:51,440 --> 00:38:55,000
Speaker 2: it just doesn't feel like a fun experience together.

831
00:38:55,400 --> 00:38:56,200
Speaker 5: And again this is me.

832
00:38:56,280 --> 00:38:58,440
Speaker 1: I'm not diagnosing this person because I have like this

833
00:38:58,680 --> 00:39:00,920
Speaker 1: much information about what he's experiencing.

834
00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:03,840
Speaker 2: If you're listening on podcasts, Kat held up about two inches.

835
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:08,640
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, this much everybody's watching on YouTube.

836
00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:13,680
Speaker 2: They're not. I don't know why, but they're not. But hey,

837
00:39:13,719 --> 00:39:16,000
Speaker 2: we're on YouTube. If you want to watch us, shout out,

838
00:39:16,160 --> 00:39:18,120
Speaker 2: because there's a lot of you listening that are definitely

839
00:39:18,160 --> 00:39:20,839
Speaker 2: not watching on YouTube. But I don't watch that much

840
00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:23,240
Speaker 2: stuff on YouTube, so I get it. I mean sometimes

841
00:39:23,280 --> 00:39:25,000
Speaker 2: I do, but I listen to podcasts when I'm doing

842
00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:26,600
Speaker 2: other things and I'm not I'm.

843
00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:27,360
Speaker 5: Walking around them.

844
00:39:27,440 --> 00:39:30,640
Speaker 1: What I Yeah, limited information, And I just wanted to

845
00:39:30,680 --> 00:39:32,879
Speaker 1: give that little spiel because it is an e needy

846
00:39:32,880 --> 00:39:35,000
Speaker 1: disorder that a lot of people don't know about, and

847
00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:37,759
Speaker 1: it's really easy to have judgment when we don't have

848
00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:38,760
Speaker 1: all the information.

849
00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:40,480
Speaker 5: And this is.

850
00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:44,120
Speaker 1: Something that I think Corey, our listener, is trying to

851
00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:49,680
Speaker 1: really walk through with compassion. So there's two things here

852
00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:52,600
Speaker 1: that like, if this is an eating disorder, I want

853
00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:55,920
Speaker 1: to be able to help this person, and we can

854
00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:57,960
Speaker 1: only control what we can control. And at the end

855
00:39:58,000 --> 00:39:59,759
Speaker 1: of the day, if this person, if this is not

856
00:39:59,800 --> 00:40:02,920
Speaker 1: just dressed enough to this person's life, if he's still

857
00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:05,040
Speaker 1: able to get the nutrients he needs in his body

858
00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:08,680
Speaker 1: and live the life that he wants, that he chooses

859
00:40:09,239 --> 00:40:12,840
Speaker 1: he might not have a desire to change. And so

860
00:40:12,920 --> 00:40:14,880
Speaker 1: then you outside of that also have to make a

861
00:40:14,880 --> 00:40:17,080
Speaker 1: decision of Okay, well is this something that I can

862
00:40:17,160 --> 00:40:19,200
Speaker 1: learn to live with or not?

863
00:40:19,520 --> 00:40:21,799
Speaker 5: And there's not a right or wrong. I don't think

864
00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:22,800
Speaker 5: there's a right or wrong answer.

865
00:40:22,840 --> 00:40:26,680
Speaker 2: There no, because either way it's it could be impacting

866
00:40:26,920 --> 00:40:30,640
Speaker 2: your quality of life, and that's for you to decide.

867
00:40:30,680 --> 00:40:33,520
Speaker 2: And I think maybe maybe, maybe again, I don't know

868
00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:39,200
Speaker 2: these people at all, but my hope, hello, hope would

869
00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:44,799
Speaker 2: be that he didn't think that, which we had to

870
00:40:44,840 --> 00:40:48,120
Speaker 2: shorten some of the voicemail. It was very very very long,

871
00:40:48,320 --> 00:40:52,200
Speaker 2: so listeners, was very very very very long, but good information.

872
00:40:52,400 --> 00:40:54,960
Speaker 2: We have information that some listeners didn't hear and depending

873
00:40:54,960 --> 00:40:58,799
Speaker 2: on what part was left in the voicemail, but what

874
00:40:58,880 --> 00:41:01,759
Speaker 2: we know is that he didn't think he was going

875
00:41:01,800 --> 00:41:04,760
Speaker 2: to meet somebody like he's lived. He's in his fifties

876
00:41:04,760 --> 00:41:07,440
Speaker 2: and he's lived his entire life or much of his

877
00:41:07,520 --> 00:41:10,799
Speaker 2: life likely this way, and he never thought he would

878
00:41:10,840 --> 00:41:13,960
Speaker 2: meet somebody that he wanted to share his life with,

879
00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:17,840
Speaker 2: and so now that he has, he might be like, oh,

880
00:41:18,040 --> 00:41:21,359
Speaker 2: this is potentially limiting experiences with someone that I really

881
00:41:21,480 --> 00:41:23,120
Speaker 2: enjoy being with that I didn't think I was ever

882
00:41:23,200 --> 00:41:27,080
Speaker 2: going to meet. So yeah, if there actually is some

883
00:41:27,160 --> 00:41:29,960
Speaker 2: support out there for me in this that can expand

884
00:41:30,120 --> 00:41:36,120
Speaker 2: my opportunities my experiences with my partner, then he may

885
00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:38,480
Speaker 2: be willing to look into it. Now. It also could

886
00:41:38,480 --> 00:41:40,640
Speaker 2: be like a flat no, and then that's where you

887
00:41:40,719 --> 00:41:44,439
Speaker 2: have to assess and figure out Okay, radical acceptance. We've

888
00:41:44,440 --> 00:41:46,960
Speaker 2: talked about that recently. It's sort of like, this is

889
00:41:47,080 --> 00:41:51,719
Speaker 2: situation and I can't control it, and how do I

890
00:41:51,760 --> 00:41:54,520
Speaker 2: want to come alongside and live with it? If you

891
00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:57,520
Speaker 2: choose to accept it and move forward and do marry him,

892
00:41:57,840 --> 00:42:01,440
Speaker 2: because that is the question. You can't go into it like, oh, well,

893
00:42:01,440 --> 00:42:04,600
Speaker 2: I'll marry him and then eventually I'll fix it, because

894
00:42:04,680 --> 00:42:07,440
Speaker 2: that you're going to just have to radically accept that

895
00:42:07,520 --> 00:42:10,800
Speaker 2: this is how he eats something in my relationship that

896
00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:12,759
Speaker 2: I don't think Alex in mind that I'm bringing up

897
00:42:12,800 --> 00:42:15,680
Speaker 2: because it's something he walked through with his wife when

898
00:42:15,719 --> 00:42:19,160
Speaker 2: she had cancer, and all of the information and doctors

899
00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:23,560
Speaker 2: and appointments, and they went everywhere to get all kinds

900
00:42:23,560 --> 00:42:26,480
Speaker 2: of opinions. We actually talked about it on our date

901
00:42:26,560 --> 00:42:29,400
Speaker 2: night on vacation, which I know this sounds like a

902
00:42:29,440 --> 00:42:33,440
Speaker 2: heavy discussion, but we had not ever talked about some

903
00:42:33,560 --> 00:42:37,480
Speaker 2: of her treatments and where they went. But something about

904
00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:39,360
Speaker 2: MD Anderson came up because that's where my mom was.

905
00:42:39,400 --> 00:42:41,560
Speaker 2: He goes, oh, we flew down there for an opinion.

906
00:42:41,960 --> 00:42:44,439
Speaker 2: They were living in Nashville, so they went to Vanderbilt,

907
00:42:44,480 --> 00:42:46,680
Speaker 2: they went down to Houston, m d Anderson, they went

908
00:42:46,719 --> 00:42:49,400
Speaker 2: to Duke, like they were trying to go everywhere to

909
00:42:49,440 --> 00:42:53,359
Speaker 2: get different opinions because everyone was just perplexed at what

910
00:42:53,440 --> 00:42:56,239
Speaker 2: she had, how it was spreading. There's some words he

911
00:42:56,280 --> 00:42:58,840
Speaker 2: said that I don't even really remember, like some medical

912
00:42:58,840 --> 00:43:01,319
Speaker 2: speak that I wasn't even familiar with, because he was like,

913
00:43:01,560 --> 00:43:04,000
Speaker 2: I had never experienced cancer before, so some of this

914
00:43:04,160 --> 00:43:06,960
Speaker 2: was just so foreign to me. And I remember that

915
00:43:07,080 --> 00:43:09,600
Speaker 2: with my mom walking through that with her like a

916
00:43:09,719 --> 00:43:12,120
Speaker 2: doctor's woman's just being so overwhelmed and trying to take

917
00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:14,239
Speaker 2: in all of the information and learn so much. But

918
00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:19,080
Speaker 2: you know, he was talking about how every doctor also

919
00:43:19,160 --> 00:43:21,359
Speaker 2: had like a different take on it, and even with

920
00:43:21,680 --> 00:43:25,200
Speaker 2: the diet and how you should be eating, and but

921
00:43:25,280 --> 00:43:29,839
Speaker 2: something that just really resonated with him was with colon cancers,

922
00:43:29,880 --> 00:43:36,080
Speaker 2: certain foods that will inflame certain things that can ignite

923
00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:38,960
Speaker 2: the colon cancer. Even know if I'm saying that properly,

924
00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:42,080
Speaker 2: but you get what I'm saying. And so he's very

925
00:43:42,880 --> 00:43:45,800
Speaker 2: strict with those foods, Like if there was a top five,

926
00:43:46,320 --> 00:43:48,320
Speaker 2: he's just not going to put those in his body.

927
00:43:48,360 --> 00:43:49,640
Speaker 2: And I don't even want to list them out and

928
00:43:49,640 --> 00:43:52,880
Speaker 2: not trying to like put fear into anybody at all whatsoever,

929
00:43:53,320 --> 00:43:54,920
Speaker 2: But if those are on the menu, he's just like

930
00:43:55,040 --> 00:43:57,120
Speaker 2: not going to be getting them. Where I don't limit

931
00:43:57,239 --> 00:43:58,960
Speaker 2: that as much. But I think some of that is

932
00:43:59,040 --> 00:44:02,160
Speaker 2: me rebelling again my eating disorder days of like I

933
00:44:02,200 --> 00:44:05,880
Speaker 2: don't want my kids to feel restriction. But his restriction

934
00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:08,960
Speaker 2: isn't coming from a place of an eating disorder, but

935
00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:12,960
Speaker 2: it is a fear of sorts of genetically their mom

936
00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:17,200
Speaker 2: did have it, and he believes the science behind XYZ

937
00:44:17,320 --> 00:44:19,960
Speaker 2: to be true, and so he just wants to try

938
00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:22,560
Speaker 2: to fuel them in their bodies with certain things when

939
00:44:22,560 --> 00:44:25,120
Speaker 2: he can. So there are things that I just know

940
00:44:25,239 --> 00:44:27,880
Speaker 2: we're not gonna order our experiences. I know, we're like

941
00:44:27,880 --> 00:44:29,960
Speaker 2: we're not always gonna get dessert, which that's kind of

942
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:31,560
Speaker 2: a bummer for me sometimes And if I wanted to

943
00:44:31,560 --> 00:44:34,759
Speaker 2: get the dessert, I could, but I know sometimes he's

944
00:44:34,800 --> 00:44:37,560
Speaker 2: just like not for it. And Kat was like, oh gosh,

945
00:44:37,680 --> 00:44:40,000
Speaker 2: I have to get to dessert every single time.

946
00:44:40,400 --> 00:44:42,919
Speaker 5: Not every time, but like that is I love, It's fun.

947
00:44:43,040 --> 00:44:45,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's one of my favorite parts of going

948
00:44:45,560 --> 00:44:47,960
Speaker 1: out is then like not even at the same restaurant,

949
00:44:47,960 --> 00:44:48,759
Speaker 1: will go somewhere else.

950
00:44:49,719 --> 00:44:51,280
Speaker 5: But that's something I think.

951
00:44:51,120 --> 00:44:54,000
Speaker 1: That you're sharing that to say that that's something in

952
00:44:54,040 --> 00:44:56,480
Speaker 1: my relationship and it's still worth it to be in that.

953
00:44:56,719 --> 00:45:01,080
Speaker 1: It Also, his choices don't always have to be my choices,

954
00:45:01,920 --> 00:45:03,799
Speaker 1: and I think that's important to add too, that.

955
00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:06,239
Speaker 2: You don't get a little bummed sometimes. Yes, yeah, so

956
00:45:06,920 --> 00:45:09,799
Speaker 2: Corey might get a little bummed sometimes because I know

957
00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:12,360
Speaker 2: I'm like, I know we're not going to have dessert

958
00:45:12,480 --> 00:45:14,360
Speaker 2: or like I want something sweet, and sometimes I have

959
00:45:14,400 --> 00:45:17,359
Speaker 2: to check myself and I probably will need to share

960
00:45:17,400 --> 00:45:18,719
Speaker 2: this because I don't think I've said it now that

961
00:45:18,719 --> 00:45:20,279
Speaker 2: I'm saying on the podcast. I want to say it

962
00:45:20,280 --> 00:45:22,880
Speaker 2: to him, but it's like sometimes I feel uncomfortable if

963
00:45:22,920 --> 00:45:25,120
Speaker 2: I want something sweet, and like almost like I can't

964
00:45:25,680 --> 00:45:28,960
Speaker 2: like you, like I'm doing something wrong and I'm not.

965
00:45:29,560 --> 00:45:31,120
Speaker 2: I know he wouldn't want me to feel that way.

966
00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:32,600
Speaker 2: And some of that could be my own stuff that

967
00:45:32,680 --> 00:45:37,160
Speaker 2: I'm projecting on to myself, but I just it's just

968
00:45:37,200 --> 00:45:40,920
Speaker 2: how I feel. Well. This podcast is about feelings.

969
00:45:40,880 --> 00:45:43,279
Speaker 1: So I think that's helpful to hear, and it's also

970
00:45:43,280 --> 00:45:45,839
Speaker 1: helpful to say out loud, because then you can recognize

971
00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:50,280
Speaker 1: it's almost like you're taking on his fears or his feelings,

972
00:45:50,400 --> 00:45:53,759
Speaker 1: or his genetics or his kid's genetics or anything like that.

973
00:45:53,800 --> 00:45:57,880
Speaker 1: How you're saying that, like they have his wife's genes,

974
00:45:57,960 --> 00:46:01,120
Speaker 1: and so his feelings and his fear around certain foods,

975
00:46:01,760 --> 00:46:04,200
Speaker 1: if he doesn't want to change those, that's okay. We

976
00:46:04,239 --> 00:46:06,560
Speaker 1: can actually be in relationship with somebody who has different

977
00:46:06,880 --> 00:46:10,680
Speaker 1: feelings and experiences and ideals and all of that. I

978
00:46:10,719 --> 00:46:13,200
Speaker 1: don't have to then take that on. And it doesn't

979
00:46:13,200 --> 00:46:15,480
Speaker 1: sound like he's forcing you to take that on either.

980
00:46:15,640 --> 00:46:18,560
Speaker 1: There might be some things that he just feels strongly about,

981
00:46:18,600 --> 00:46:22,520
Speaker 1: but recognizing that, oh, that doesn't have to be my

982
00:46:23,480 --> 00:46:24,160
Speaker 1: reality there.

983
00:46:24,120 --> 00:46:27,000
Speaker 2: Right, And if I want something sweet, I should just

984
00:46:27,040 --> 00:46:30,799
Speaker 2: say I'm going to get something sweet, and I am

985
00:46:30,800 --> 00:46:32,279
Speaker 2: going to do that for myself. You don't have to

986
00:46:32,280 --> 00:46:35,160
Speaker 2: have any Yeah, although I want that experience with him,

987
00:46:35,160 --> 00:46:37,799
Speaker 2: like when we went and got the Frosties, but those

988
00:46:37,880 --> 00:46:40,440
Speaker 2: wards Frosty's, we Windys, we went to Dairy Queen, we

989
00:46:40,680 --> 00:46:43,360
Speaker 2: got the Blizzards. It was fun. It's more fun to

990
00:46:43,360 --> 00:46:45,680
Speaker 2: do it, it's more fun to do together. And so

991
00:46:46,400 --> 00:46:48,960
Speaker 2: I guess for me, I'll just cherish those moments a

992
00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:51,520
Speaker 2: little bit more and then respect the other times that

993
00:46:51,600 --> 00:46:56,200
Speaker 2: he doesn't want that in his body, which is okay.

994
00:46:56,360 --> 00:46:57,960
Speaker 2: I'm trying to just think of like Corey being in

995
00:46:57,960 --> 00:47:00,120
Speaker 2: certain situations where it's just like I just want to

996
00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:01,000
Speaker 2: to eat crab with me.

997
00:47:01,160 --> 00:47:02,160
Speaker 5: Yeah. Yeah.

998
00:47:02,440 --> 00:47:07,239
Speaker 1: And also I think going back to talking about our

999
00:47:07,320 --> 00:47:09,280
Speaker 1: fed because people don't.

1000
00:47:09,120 --> 00:47:09,719
Speaker 5: Know it's a thing.

1001
00:47:10,560 --> 00:47:13,319
Speaker 1: He might not even recognize that that's something that he

1002
00:47:13,400 --> 00:47:16,160
Speaker 1: could work through, right, Like, he might not even know that.

1003
00:47:16,480 --> 00:47:19,000
Speaker 1: So when she says like this might be something that

1004
00:47:19,040 --> 00:47:21,759
Speaker 1: would keep me from marrying you, like I have to

1005
00:47:21,800 --> 00:47:24,120
Speaker 1: think about that, and he's like, well, this is how

1006
00:47:24,120 --> 00:47:27,239
Speaker 1: I've been my whole life. Maybe he doesn't know there

1007
00:47:27,239 --> 00:47:29,680
Speaker 1: are people out there that are struggling with things. It

1008
00:47:29,760 --> 00:47:33,080
Speaker 1: is one of the most helpful. It sounds crazy, but

1009
00:47:33,200 --> 00:47:37,600
Speaker 1: sometimes when people get a diagnosis, even a mental health diagnosis,

1010
00:47:38,160 --> 00:47:41,120
Speaker 1: it feels so freeing because they're like, oh, this is

1011
00:47:41,160 --> 00:47:44,160
Speaker 1: a thing that other people have, it's not just me.

1012
00:47:44,320 --> 00:47:47,319
Speaker 1: And also there might be a way out. Yeah, they're

1013
00:47:47,360 --> 00:47:49,399
Speaker 1: so important about this, right, there's support, there are people

1014
00:47:49,440 --> 00:47:52,600
Speaker 1: that specialize in this, and so sometimes having that, even

1015
00:47:52,600 --> 00:47:55,400
Speaker 1: though we don't want to just go around labeling people,

1016
00:47:55,480 --> 00:47:58,360
Speaker 1: but even it's almost as like I feel understood, I

1017
00:47:58,360 --> 00:47:59,319
Speaker 1: feel seen, you.

1018
00:47:59,239 --> 00:48:01,279
Speaker 2: Know, when not alone? You want it? You know what else?

1019
00:48:01,400 --> 00:48:01,959
Speaker 5: What else?

1020
00:48:02,760 --> 00:48:03,160
Speaker 2: Hope?

1021
00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:04,640
Speaker 5: Hello?

1022
00:48:04,719 --> 00:48:05,480
Speaker 2: Hello? Hope.

1023
00:48:05,800 --> 00:48:06,200
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1024
00:48:06,320 --> 00:48:08,720
Speaker 1: I think that's like the topic of or the subject

1025
00:48:08,719 --> 00:48:10,759
Speaker 1: of our episode. But yeah, it can give him hope

1026
00:48:10,800 --> 00:48:13,840
Speaker 1: of like, oh, well maybe I we don't know, he

1027
00:48:13,920 --> 00:48:16,640
Speaker 1: might have feelings sitting there across from her, being like

1028
00:48:16,680 --> 00:48:19,120
Speaker 1: I wish I could enjoy this with her. We don't

1029
00:48:19,160 --> 00:48:22,239
Speaker 1: know if that's something he's like hidden and suppressed. So

1030
00:48:22,640 --> 00:48:24,920
Speaker 1: there could be a lot of I think we're not

1031
00:48:24,920 --> 00:48:28,040
Speaker 1: going to give you any like actual this is what

1032
00:48:28,080 --> 00:48:30,759
Speaker 1: you need to do. But I think something to think

1033
00:48:30,760 --> 00:48:32,880
Speaker 1: about is do I want to have a conversation to

1034
00:48:32,920 --> 00:48:35,399
Speaker 1: see how he really feels about all this, like get

1035
00:48:35,480 --> 00:48:39,560
Speaker 1: really vulnerable and curious about what his experience is when

1036
00:48:39,560 --> 00:48:42,640
Speaker 1: he takes you out to eat and he just orders

1037
00:48:42,680 --> 00:48:45,239
Speaker 1: the fries. He might feel numb to it at this point,

1038
00:48:45,280 --> 00:48:47,440
Speaker 1: but maybe it's because nobody's ever really asked him.

1039
00:48:47,600 --> 00:48:51,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that. Yeah, and yeah, arfid who knew?

1040
00:48:51,360 --> 00:48:53,360
Speaker 2: I did not know was the thing? The cat knew

1041
00:48:53,920 --> 00:48:56,120
Speaker 2: right when she heard Corey start talking about it, and

1042
00:48:56,160 --> 00:48:59,279
Speaker 2: I was like, that's my girl, thank you, that's my

1043
00:48:59,360 --> 00:48:59,920
Speaker 2: co host.

1044
00:49:00,480 --> 00:49:01,240
Speaker 5: You're welcome.

1045
00:49:01,960 --> 00:49:05,040
Speaker 2: We'll close with a really cool email that we got

1046
00:49:05,080 --> 00:49:08,200
Speaker 2: from a listener named how do you think we say that?

1047
00:49:08,320 --> 00:49:14,440
Speaker 2: Mala Mila Meila m We don't know because I ll

1048
00:49:14,520 --> 00:49:18,600
Speaker 2: ella guess what. She's from Finland. That's which is why

1049
00:49:18,680 --> 00:49:20,760
Speaker 2: we might not know how to That's why we called

1050
00:49:20,800 --> 00:49:22,799
Speaker 2: the email because I think we were talking about how

1051
00:49:22,840 --> 00:49:25,040
Speaker 2: maybe we had a listener in Nigeria or something, and

1052
00:49:25,080 --> 00:49:25,640
Speaker 2: she was like.

1053
00:49:25,600 --> 00:49:30,239
Speaker 5: Hey, so this is our email of the day.

1054
00:49:30,920 --> 00:49:32,720
Speaker 2: Hey, Amy and kat I was listening to your episode

1055
00:49:32,719 --> 00:49:34,000
Speaker 2: from a couple of days ago and you were talking

1056
00:49:34,040 --> 00:49:36,360
Speaker 2: about maybe having listeners abroad. Well, I just wanted you

1057
00:49:36,400 --> 00:49:38,480
Speaker 2: to know you have at least one listener in Finland.

1058
00:49:38,719 --> 00:49:40,440
Speaker 2: I've been listening to the Bobby Bone Show for over

1059
00:49:40,480 --> 00:49:42,279
Speaker 2: ten years now. First heard about you guys, and I

1060
00:49:42,280 --> 00:49:44,680
Speaker 2: was working in Wisconsin for a summer in twenty thirteen,

1061
00:49:44,719 --> 00:49:49,120
Speaker 2: and I've been listening ever since. I really like feeling things. Also, ps,

1062
00:49:49,160 --> 00:49:51,680
Speaker 2: I know Amy wanted to explore new places. You should

1063
00:49:51,719 --> 00:49:54,279
Speaker 2: totally visit Finland someday. I think you would love it.

1064
00:49:54,640 --> 00:49:57,920
Speaker 5: Okay, guest Mila, I'm smiling so hard. One that's a

1065
00:49:57,960 --> 00:50:01,200
Speaker 5: cool email. But like you were doing one of.

1066
00:50:01,160 --> 00:50:07,200
Speaker 1: Those commercial it's like all like the side effects of something.

1067
00:50:07,280 --> 00:50:09,640
Speaker 1: I've never heard you talk so fast? Do you ever

1068
00:50:09,680 --> 00:50:10,080
Speaker 1: do those?

1069
00:50:10,560 --> 00:50:12,759
Speaker 2: I do? Okay, Yeah, at the end of like car

1070
00:50:12,800 --> 00:50:16,080
Speaker 2: commercials and stuff. Yeah, was I really well?

1071
00:50:16,120 --> 00:50:17,000
Speaker 5: I was trying. I'm hot.

1072
00:50:17,120 --> 00:50:18,520
Speaker 2: We got to figure out a new plan. This is

1073
00:50:18,520 --> 00:50:20,880
Speaker 2: a little inside baseball, but we have like lights that

1074
00:50:20,920 --> 00:50:23,759
Speaker 2: are in here. Or it's a really muggy day here

1075
00:50:23,760 --> 00:50:26,160
Speaker 2: in Nashville today. There was a storm earlier, and I

1076
00:50:26,200 --> 00:50:27,960
Speaker 2: think the humidity.

1077
00:50:27,640 --> 00:50:29,400
Speaker 5: And and you're wearing a sweater and.

1078
00:50:29,400 --> 00:50:30,200
Speaker 2: I'm wearing a sweater.

1079
00:50:30,760 --> 00:50:32,600
Speaker 5: I don't know why, Well, we can wrap it up.

1080
00:50:32,760 --> 00:50:33,120
Speaker 5: I don't know.

1081
00:50:33,160 --> 00:50:35,160
Speaker 2: Maybe I just think that the heat was causing me

1082
00:50:35,239 --> 00:50:36,000
Speaker 2: to read quickly.

1083
00:50:36,160 --> 00:50:39,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it was a talent that's supposed to

1084
00:50:39,640 --> 00:50:40,520
Speaker 1: be kind of a compliment.

1085
00:50:40,840 --> 00:50:42,480
Speaker 5: Oh really, you can be a speed reader.

1086
00:50:42,800 --> 00:50:47,279
Speaker 2: Thank you, You're welcome. We did it all right. If

1087
00:50:47,360 --> 00:50:50,440
Speaker 2: y'all want to email us, you can from anywhere in

1088
00:50:50,480 --> 00:50:54,440
Speaker 2: the world, Finland, Nigeria, wherever you live. It will make

1089
00:50:54,480 --> 00:50:55,040
Speaker 2: it to us.

1090
00:50:55,600 --> 00:50:55,799
Speaker 5: Hey.

1091
00:50:55,840 --> 00:50:59,520
Speaker 2: There at Feeling Things podcast dot com you mentioned earlier,

1092
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Speaker 2: we are on to You can like and subscribe.

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Speaker 5: You can call us and leave the voicemail. Yeah, eight

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Speaker 5: seven seven.

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Speaker 2: Two o seven two o seven seven eight seven seven

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Speaker 2: two oh seven two o seven seven, and you can

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Speaker 2: follow us on Instagram. I love that. And then also

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Speaker 2: I just want to say I like going and reading

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Speaker 2: through our comments, which is manageable at this point on

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Speaker 2: all of our posts because it's just like few here

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Speaker 2: and there, mostly you and me.

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Speaker 1: So like.

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Speaker 2: Messaging back to each that they're manageable because either Feeling

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Speaker 2: Things is commenting, which is either me or Cat, and

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Speaker 2: then there's my account Radio a me and then Kat

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Speaker 2: van Buren, which is Matt's account, and then sometimes Kat's

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Speaker 2: husband will chime in with a comment, go comment, and

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Speaker 2: then maybe my sister. But occasionally we have some listeners

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Speaker 2: in there and it's so fun. So that's just a

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Speaker 2: little if you're still listening at this point and this

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Speaker 2: say isn't you know? If you make it to the end,

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Speaker 2: then you're loyal and I know that maybe you'll throw

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Speaker 2: a comment if you think of it and the video

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Speaker 2: go up, just like, leave us a comment because that's

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Speaker 2: fun and we'll engage with it and reply.

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Speaker 5: And be like, what you watched this? Well, people are

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Speaker 5: watching it. That's good and they like it. They should

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Speaker 5: always comment.

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Speaker 2: It's just a y'all will always comment and comments are fun. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So and the plus, it's just funny to me that

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Speaker 2: when I go through that, I'm like, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 2: we have six comments. Yay, And I go look at

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Speaker 2: them and it's.

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Speaker 1: Like you me killing things were probably like do they

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Speaker 1: have no friend my sister Patrick.

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Speaker 2: But we are gaining more Instagram followers by the day,

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Speaker 2: which is so fun because it's a climb. It's fun.

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Speaker 5: We hope you have the day you need to have.

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Speaker 2: Bye bye,