1 00:00:00,520 --> 00:00:03,200 Speaker 1: Did you know? Amazon provides ways of working that fit 2 00:00:03,320 --> 00:00:06,760 Speaker 1: your lifestyle. They know you value your time outside of work, 3 00:00:06,920 --> 00:00:10,639 Speaker 1: juggling families, school, friends, or other activities. That's why they 4 00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:13,080 Speaker 1: offer a variety of shifts that work for you. There 5 00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:16,360 Speaker 1: are full time, part time, and even temporary opportunities that 6 00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:19,239 Speaker 1: can work with your schedule with great starting pay and 7 00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:22,160 Speaker 1: sign on bonuses. If you want a career that fits 8 00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:25,360 Speaker 1: and adapts to your lifestyle, had the Amazon dot Com 9 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:32,839 Speaker 1: slash apply. Amazon is a proud equal opportunity employer. Emas 10 00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:35,480 Speaker 1: up Man called those Miller of the eighty five South, 11 00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:38,479 Speaker 1: so many favors. Make sure you check out The Black Market, 12 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:41,480 Speaker 1: hostly by Me only on the eighty five South Show. 13 00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:44,560 Speaker 1: Fee Subscribe to the eighty five South Show to hear 14 00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:49,080 Speaker 1: and tune into the Black Market. Here amazing interviews with entrepreneurs, 15 00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:52,160 Speaker 1: creatives and thought leaders to people who are doing amazing 16 00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:55,720 Speaker 1: things in the black community. Listen to The Black Market 17 00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:59,520 Speaker 1: on my Heart Radio, app, Apple podcast, or wherever you 18 00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:06,720 Speaker 1: listen a podcast. The Black Effect presents features honest conversations 19 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:10,440 Speaker 1: and exclusive interviews. A space for artists, everyday people and 20 00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:15,880 Speaker 1: listeners to amplify, elevate, and empower black voices with great conversations. 21 00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:19,080 Speaker 1: Make sure to listen to the Black Effect Presents podcast 22 00:01:19,319 --> 00:01:22,479 Speaker 1: on I Heart Radio, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get 23 00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:32,880 Speaker 1: your podcast. Welcome to Money Making Conversations. It's the show 24 00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:35,360 Speaker 1: that she has the secrets of success experience firsthand by 25 00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:38,520 Speaker 1: marketing and Brandon expert Rashan McDonald. I will know he's 26 00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:40,600 Speaker 1: given me advice on many occasions. In the case you 27 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:44,040 Speaker 1: didn't notice, I'm not broke, you know, he'll be interviewing 28 00:01:44,080 --> 00:01:47,680 Speaker 1: celebrity CEOs, entrepreneurs and industry decision makers. It's what he 29 00:01:47,760 --> 00:01:50,320 Speaker 1: likes to do. It's what he likes to share. Now 30 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:53,560 Speaker 1: it's time to hear from my man, Rashan McDonald. Money 31 00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:57,320 Speaker 1: Making Conversations. Here we come. Welcome to Money Making Conversation. 32 00:01:57,400 --> 00:02:00,440 Speaker 1: I have your host, Rashwan McDonald. I'll tell people every 33 00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:02,480 Speaker 1: week as we start this show, it's time to stop 34 00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:05,400 Speaker 1: reading other people's success stores and actually start writing your own. 35 00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:07,960 Speaker 1: A lot of people who are held back. I always 36 00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:10,080 Speaker 1: tell people you hear by gifts, you hear about passion. 37 00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:12,239 Speaker 1: I tell people to leave with their gifts and don't 38 00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:16,240 Speaker 1: let their age, especially their age, friends, family, or coworkers, 39 00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:18,840 Speaker 1: stop you from planning or living your dream. My interviews 40 00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:21,280 Speaker 1: I bring on money main conversations you might see with 41 00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:24,800 Speaker 1: celebrity CEOs, entrepreneurs and what I like to call industry 42 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:28,160 Speaker 1: decision makers. My next guest is a Craig Melvine. He's 43 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:30,680 Speaker 1: the co host of the Today Show and the author 44 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:32,960 Speaker 1: of the book Pops Learning to Be a Son and 45 00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:35,560 Speaker 1: the Father. You may know Crickets and the war winning 46 00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:37,800 Speaker 1: news anchor. As I said earlier on the Today Show. 47 00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:40,640 Speaker 1: You also have seen him on MSNBC Live and the 48 00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:43,320 Speaker 1: host of Dateline. He's on the show discussed this book, 49 00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:45,440 Speaker 1: Pops Learning to Be a Son and the Father. It's 50 00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:48,200 Speaker 1: the story of all the father figures in Craig's life 51 00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:51,240 Speaker 1: and that includes inspiring men from his program or his 52 00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:56,280 Speaker 1: series called Dad's Got this series on NBC NBC News Today. 53 00:02:56,639 --> 00:02:59,600 Speaker 1: These experiences and encounters of shapes creates understanding of his 54 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,359 Speaker 1: own old as a dad. And I'm sure I can 55 00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:04,040 Speaker 1: be relative and we'll have a nice conversation since Father's 56 00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:07,760 Speaker 1: Day has recently passed. He has two young children. Please 57 00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:10,680 Speaker 1: wraping the money making conversation, my man, Craig Melvin. How 58 00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:13,840 Speaker 1: you doing, Creig Sean, I'm well, I'm well. Thank you 59 00:03:13,880 --> 00:03:18,040 Speaker 1: so much for having me always enjoy your conversation, so 60 00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:19,760 Speaker 1: I have to be a part of one. Thank you. 61 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:25,200 Speaker 1: Southern boy, South Carolina. Okay, you know, uh, you know 62 00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:27,440 Speaker 1: when I when I see people on TV and you 63 00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:31,400 Speaker 1: so articulate, there's no yalls, there's no access. How does 64 00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:33,800 Speaker 1: a man come straight out of Columbia? I know color 65 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:35,400 Speaker 1: because Steve Harvey. I used to go down a lot 66 00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:38,400 Speaker 1: of performative town center selling that place out all the time. 67 00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:41,520 Speaker 1: So I'm fair familiar with South Carolina, Charleston, that whole 68 00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:45,880 Speaker 1: low country. There's no low country in your tone? What's 69 00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:48,680 Speaker 1: going on there? You are? You break that low country accent? 70 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:51,320 Speaker 1: Low country accent? Funny because I didn't. I never I 71 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:55,840 Speaker 1: never had it. My mom, Uh, you'll appreciate this. Growing 72 00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:58,440 Speaker 1: up in Houston, the way that you grew up. My 73 00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:01,880 Speaker 1: mom grew up in the project and first in the 74 00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:04,200 Speaker 1: family to go to college and first in the family 75 00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:07,800 Speaker 1: to get a graduate degree. So when we came along, 76 00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:13,080 Speaker 1: she wanted to expose us to two things and places 77 00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:17,919 Speaker 1: that she had not been exposed to. And consequently, I 78 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:20,839 Speaker 1: think it's that was probably fourteen or fifteen, and she 79 00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:26,160 Speaker 1: had us take part in these oratorical contests. Um and 80 00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:28,720 Speaker 1: and that was was kind of how it started. So 81 00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:34,400 Speaker 1: I took some public speaking classes and then these oratorical contests, 82 00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:36,760 Speaker 1: and then the next thing you knew, I had what 83 00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:39,080 Speaker 1: they what they like to call in the business a 84 00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:44,920 Speaker 1: nondescript dialect. You can't really tell based on listening to 85 00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:48,640 Speaker 1: me where I'm from. It's a blessing. Now. When I 86 00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:52,800 Speaker 1: was growing up, it was always he's talking whitely, he 87 00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:56,599 Speaker 1: talks like he talks like a white boy. So it's 88 00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:59,600 Speaker 1: you know, it's it was a course. Now it's a blessing. 89 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,960 Speaker 1: You know, it's interesting because I knew in my middle school. 90 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:05,240 Speaker 1: I remember my teacher used to always ask me to read, 91 00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:07,440 Speaker 1: just always ask me to read. And you know, people 92 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:09,919 Speaker 1: talk about bullying, and you know, when you people are 93 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:13,080 Speaker 1: talking about they call you snowflake. That was a bully. 94 00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:16,200 Speaker 1: And then so it's it's popularized now because people are 95 00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:17,960 Speaker 1: willing to talk about it. But we all grew up 96 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:21,080 Speaker 1: in some form of physical or mental abuse from high 97 00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:24,400 Speaker 1: school kids or people in the neighborhood. And my remember this, 98 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:26,960 Speaker 1: this this girl. She made such a big deal that 99 00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:30,280 Speaker 1: I was always asked to read. That it almost I 100 00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:34,279 Speaker 1: have to say, traumatized me because I went exactly the opposite. 101 00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:36,320 Speaker 1: I wanted to talk. I wanted to say, ain't I 102 00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:38,160 Speaker 1: wanted to have I wanted to slur my words. I 103 00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:41,200 Speaker 1: wanted to fit in. And so what you I bring 104 00:05:41,279 --> 00:05:43,640 Speaker 1: that story up because you talk about because you was 105 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:45,920 Speaker 1: hit with it. You was hit you know, talking why 106 00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:48,760 Speaker 1: I didn't want to act? Why you you're calling you snowflake? 107 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:52,719 Speaker 1: What kept you focused? What kept you from from veering 108 00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:55,120 Speaker 1: off like I veered off? I veered off and I said, hey, man, 109 00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:58,080 Speaker 1: I want to fit in and not be me. You know, 110 00:05:58,160 --> 00:06:00,600 Speaker 1: I think it was I wanted. But in the book, 111 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:04,160 Speaker 1: my mother, my mother really sean. I mean she um 112 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:06,800 Speaker 1: she she kept us on the straight and narrow. At 113 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:11,600 Speaker 1: the time, Uh, we we resented the strictness. I mean 114 00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:14,719 Speaker 1: my mom she knew all of our friends, and she 115 00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:18,600 Speaker 1: all of her parents. We weren't allowed to stay out 116 00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:22,160 Speaker 1: past you know, during the week maybe nine o'clock, maybe 117 00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:24,919 Speaker 1: on the weekends when kids were going to parties and 118 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:30,159 Speaker 1: having fun. I was doing oratorical contests and activities. And 119 00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:33,560 Speaker 1: I went to in high school. I think I probably 120 00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:37,360 Speaker 1: went to maybe three high school football games on Friday night. 121 00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:39,160 Speaker 1: I just I didn't. I grew up with a very 122 00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:42,159 Speaker 1: tight leash, right, um. And and part of it was 123 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:45,279 Speaker 1: my mother overcompensating for for my father not being the 124 00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:47,800 Speaker 1: kind of dad that he should have been. But part 125 00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:50,560 Speaker 1: of it was mom knew. She knew back then, I 126 00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:53,159 Speaker 1: think kind of what it took. She was a school teacher, 127 00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:55,880 Speaker 1: then she went into an administration. She knew what it 128 00:06:55,960 --> 00:07:00,400 Speaker 1: took um to to shape and mold uh, the black 129 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:03,599 Speaker 1: boys especially right, and and that was it. Had it 130 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:06,120 Speaker 1: not been for her, had I grown up in another house, 131 00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:09,080 Speaker 1: we wouldn't be having this conversation right now. Well, you 132 00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:10,880 Speaker 1: know writing your book, you know the book we're talking 133 00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:13,480 Speaker 1: for talking to interview Craig Melvin, his book Pops, Learning 134 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,880 Speaker 1: to Be a Son and the Father. Is it because 135 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,880 Speaker 1: the fact that your father wasn't there, that she may 136 00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:23,520 Speaker 1: be overcompensated and wanted to make sure you didn't you 137 00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:26,080 Speaker 1: had a better life or you pursue the options, even 138 00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:28,040 Speaker 1: though I knew she went to college and thinking the 139 00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:30,760 Speaker 1: age of twenty two is when she became pregnant with you. 140 00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:34,040 Speaker 1: But talk about that in the middle, because as we 141 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:36,760 Speaker 1: talked about trying to shape you because of the fact 142 00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:39,239 Speaker 1: that you've been shaped by a lot of people, especially 143 00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:41,560 Speaker 1: to the stories we wanta talk about the the president 144 00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:43,320 Speaker 1: incident when he was out of camp grades. How that 145 00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:46,360 Speaker 1: really kind of like started you in this direction of 146 00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:50,280 Speaker 1: humanizing all men, especially men who are incos already talk 147 00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:53,720 Speaker 1: about your mom in her role versus your dad role 148 00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:55,880 Speaker 1: because you mentioned it just a little bit, but that 149 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:58,480 Speaker 1: centers around us getting into the story and your father 150 00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:02,840 Speaker 1: changing this life at they just seven. Mom. Yeah, mom, Mom. 151 00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:05,120 Speaker 1: Mom had to play the role of mom and dad 152 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:09,440 Speaker 1: for the better part of my childhood. Um, it was, 153 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:11,920 Speaker 1: it was. It was a role that she was. Yeah, 154 00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:15,520 Speaker 1: she was unfortunately well prepared for it because she ended 155 00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:18,800 Speaker 1: up she had to take care of her three younger siblings. Um, 156 00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:22,200 Speaker 1: when she was in college and her father skipped out 157 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:25,160 Speaker 1: of the family, ended up essentially dying on the streets 158 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:30,920 Speaker 1: and squalred. But no a mom. Because my father was 159 00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:36,600 Speaker 1: not physically president as often as I would have liked, 160 00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:38,640 Speaker 1: and my younger brother would have liked my older brother 161 00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:41,520 Speaker 1: as well. Mom stepped in to fill the gap. She 162 00:08:41,559 --> 00:08:43,840 Speaker 1: filled her, She filled her boy and not just not 163 00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:47,800 Speaker 1: just being present in a sense of Sean a little 164 00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:52,000 Speaker 1: league games or soccer games or or concerts, not just 165 00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:56,559 Speaker 1: physically present, but but but emotionally president right a spiritually present. 166 00:08:56,720 --> 00:09:00,560 Speaker 1: I mean the relationship that I have with God is 167 00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:06,000 Speaker 1: because of my mother's relationship with God. So it was 168 00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:09,440 Speaker 1: it was divine intervention. You know, had I had any 169 00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:13,760 Speaker 1: other mother, things would not have gone the way that 170 00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:17,280 Speaker 1: they did. But you know, it's it's also and I 171 00:09:17,280 --> 00:09:19,080 Speaker 1: write about in the book as you know, and I 172 00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:20,920 Speaker 1: do appreciate the fact that you read the book. You'd 173 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:23,040 Speaker 1: be surprised how often to talk to people about books 174 00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:27,040 Speaker 1: and they haven't read word one h but I can 175 00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:29,280 Speaker 1: tell you read the whole thing. And I write about 176 00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:32,000 Speaker 1: in the book. My father I asked him doing the 177 00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:34,920 Speaker 1: course of my my interviews with him for the book. 178 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:37,439 Speaker 1: I said, Pops, what was the most money you ever wasted? 179 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,000 Speaker 1: Without missing a beat, he said it was about fifteen 180 00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:44,199 Speaker 1: dollars back in nineteen eight six. I said, that was 181 00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:45,600 Speaker 1: a lot of money back then. When you spend that 182 00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:47,959 Speaker 1: money on he said, that's how much. That's how much 183 00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:50,360 Speaker 1: it cost to put my daddy in the ground. And 184 00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:55,640 Speaker 1: in that moment I realized, um that while I had 185 00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:58,280 Speaker 1: been frustrated by the lack of relationship I had with 186 00:09:58,320 --> 00:10:01,680 Speaker 1: my dad, it was finitially better than the relationship he 187 00:10:01,679 --> 00:10:03,880 Speaker 1: had with his own father. Right, he didn't know who 188 00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:07,400 Speaker 1: his dad was until he was almost a teenager. So 189 00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:12,680 Speaker 1: it was it was wholly unrealistic of me to expect 190 00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:15,679 Speaker 1: him to be the kind of dad that I had 191 00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:20,080 Speaker 1: come to to to idolize. He couldn't be it because 192 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:23,719 Speaker 1: he hadn't seen it. And you can't be something that. 193 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:27,040 Speaker 1: It's really hard to be something. Yes, if if you 194 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:29,520 Speaker 1: if you haven't seen it, if you haven't been exposed 195 00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:31,280 Speaker 1: to it. So that's when my dad was up against. 196 00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:35,000 Speaker 1: You know, when I when I read the book, you know, um, 197 00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:37,800 Speaker 1: you know I heard the shotgun house. Okay, I grew 198 00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:39,320 Speaker 1: up in there. I was born in the shotgun house. 199 00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:41,200 Speaker 1: Two very shotgun house. A lot of people if you're 200 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:43,199 Speaker 1: listening to the shotgun house, over to the front door, 201 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:45,559 Speaker 1: shoot the gun out, to shotgun out, to go out 202 00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:49,199 Speaker 1: the front back door. Don't hit anything that's a shotgun house. Okay, 203 00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:54,880 Speaker 1: you reference pig feats. Grew up with big feasts, but man, hey, Greg, 204 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:59,640 Speaker 1: I would touch but big feats or part of our 205 00:10:59,679 --> 00:11:02,760 Speaker 1: life's style. And so that's the Southern, not from Houston, Texas. 206 00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:05,040 Speaker 1: I'm from the South. It was. It was a lifestyle 207 00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:06,720 Speaker 1: that was normal to me. But it was also a 208 00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:10,520 Speaker 1: community lifestyle of people taking care of each other. And 209 00:11:10,520 --> 00:11:13,360 Speaker 1: that was really important. Not only your dad. Even though 210 00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:16,320 Speaker 1: there were some missteps, there were still people there to 211 00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:18,640 Speaker 1: take care of him, you know, to make sure he 212 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:21,559 Speaker 1: was focused, to shout at him as he became an adult. 213 00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:24,960 Speaker 1: There were people in the community. That's really important in 214 00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:28,200 Speaker 1: this book that no matter what, there's some form of 215 00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:31,680 Speaker 1: family tied to your story, and the people in your 216 00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:35,079 Speaker 1: life talk about that. You know, it's a It's it's 217 00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:39,439 Speaker 1: funny because long before people started talking about it taking 218 00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:42,880 Speaker 1: a village, uh to to to rear a child. I 219 00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:45,360 Speaker 1: had a village. You know, it wasn't called that back 220 00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:47,839 Speaker 1: back in the eighties in South Carolina, back in the 221 00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:50,480 Speaker 1: eighties and nineties when I grew up. But I had 222 00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:54,320 Speaker 1: a village. And and yes, there were a number of 223 00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:56,920 Speaker 1: men who played the role of dad along the way, 224 00:11:56,960 --> 00:12:01,400 Speaker 1: my uncle James, my uncle Jake, my uncle Frank Um. 225 00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:04,360 Speaker 1: But there were also a lot of women that that 226 00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:08,080 Speaker 1: that played the part as well. I was disciplined, and 227 00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:12,360 Speaker 1: I think that's the politically correct term I was. I 228 00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:15,800 Speaker 1: was disciplined by more women growing up than men, whether 229 00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:19,199 Speaker 1: it's my mom or one of my aunts and my grandma. 230 00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:21,599 Speaker 1: I spent a lot of time with my two grandmothers 231 00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:26,760 Speaker 1: growing up, and they really shaped me in myriad ways 232 00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:30,200 Speaker 1: that I didn't fully appreciate until I was older. But 233 00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:32,880 Speaker 1: and then after that, I had coaches along the way. 234 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:36,760 Speaker 1: I always God always blessed me with with with people 235 00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:41,920 Speaker 1: along the road. Uh that that gave me a little 236 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,440 Speaker 1: part of something that I was I was able to 237 00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:49,360 Speaker 1: take and build on. It's difficult for young black men especially, 238 00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:53,359 Speaker 1: it's it's difficult to to learn how to carry yourself 239 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:58,760 Speaker 1: in this world, um with without examples of it. And 240 00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:03,240 Speaker 1: I had lots of examples thankfully along the way. But 241 00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:05,880 Speaker 1: the reality is, you know, Sean, a lot of kids 242 00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:08,199 Speaker 1: don't have that. A lot of kids don't they just 243 00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:10,559 Speaker 1: you know, through no phone of their own, n G. 244 00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:14,600 Speaker 1: They they don't have a mother or a father, or 245 00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:18,959 Speaker 1: an uncle or an aunt to take their hands on 246 00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:22,319 Speaker 1: this journey of life. And so they end up finding 247 00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:26,280 Speaker 1: role models uh that they should not be held up 248 00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:28,520 Speaker 1: but that should not be on the paddle store, and 249 00:13:28,559 --> 00:13:32,360 Speaker 1: they begin to emulate them. You know, the thing I 250 00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:36,040 Speaker 1: really like about your book is that sometimes uh, because 251 00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:38,760 Speaker 1: my father was a truck driver, you know, so you 252 00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:40,760 Speaker 1: know when he wasn't driving trucks, you know he was 253 00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:44,360 Speaker 1: he was he wasn't really connected to me. I can 254 00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:47,160 Speaker 1: I can tell you he was my father. I can 255 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,080 Speaker 1: tell you that my mom was there for me. My 256 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:51,760 Speaker 1: mom pushed me. My mom always felt that could be 257 00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:55,120 Speaker 1: somebody special in life. When your father showed up for 258 00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:57,720 Speaker 1: your ball game, that that memory. You don't know if 259 00:13:57,760 --> 00:14:00,400 Speaker 1: you got to hit a home runner, got a struck 260 00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:01,760 Speaker 1: out adver time you went up the bat, but you 261 00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:04,560 Speaker 1: remember that moment. And then when your mom rescued you, 262 00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:08,439 Speaker 1: when you thought, uh, you had an entered early fatherhood. 263 00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:13,880 Speaker 1: You know, those are two moments that really I bring 264 00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:16,760 Speaker 1: up those two moments prayer because despite of all the 265 00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:19,120 Speaker 1: things we do in our life, there are always memories 266 00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:24,040 Speaker 1: that really some haunt people, some inspire people. Your father 267 00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:28,000 Speaker 1: showing up for your game and your mom basically coming 268 00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:30,600 Speaker 1: to the rescue because she did something that enabled you 269 00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:34,440 Speaker 1: to relax. Talk about those two key moments of parenting. 270 00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:37,400 Speaker 1: Even though your father wasn't there, that was a key 271 00:14:37,480 --> 00:14:40,400 Speaker 1: parenting moment that he provided for you that stays with 272 00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:42,800 Speaker 1: you today. It probably cares into your parenty with your 273 00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:45,960 Speaker 1: with your children today, and then your mom being there 274 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:49,480 Speaker 1: for you at a moment of doubt, frustration, fear. But 275 00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:52,440 Speaker 1: both of them were there at different times. I mean, 276 00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:55,280 Speaker 1: you're you're you're talking about department book where I am. 277 00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:59,600 Speaker 1: I almost became a teenage father. I was almost just 278 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:03,960 Speaker 1: statistic at the age of fourteen. Uh No, that's I 279 00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:08,480 Speaker 1: made a a bad choice. I made a bad choice. 280 00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:11,040 Speaker 1: And you know what, I write about it because I 281 00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:14,600 Speaker 1: wrote about it because I wanted people to understand. Uh. 282 00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:19,040 Speaker 1: There but for the grace of God, go I and 283 00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:20,840 Speaker 1: and and and I think a lot of folks can 284 00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:23,960 Speaker 1: relate to this, this idea that you know, there's that 285 00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:26,880 Speaker 1: night or sometimes that day, but usually it's it's that 286 00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:30,360 Speaker 1: night where you went left, but you could have gone 287 00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:34,240 Speaker 1: right right right, and and and had you made a 288 00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:37,760 Speaker 1: different decision, it would have altered the course of your 289 00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:42,080 Speaker 1: life in a dramatic way. Um, that almost happened to me. 290 00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:45,040 Speaker 1: I got lucky and and and at that point in 291 00:15:45,040 --> 00:15:47,600 Speaker 1: my life, I was I didn't have much of relationship 292 00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:52,360 Speaker 1: with my father. I was I was afraid of my mother, Uh, 293 00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:56,880 Speaker 1: definitely afraid. I couldn't talk to her about it, and 294 00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:59,440 Speaker 1: it was a situation where you know, this young lady 295 00:15:59,840 --> 00:16:02,600 Speaker 1: was convinced she was pregnant, and I like, I had 296 00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:05,040 Speaker 1: to I had to do something. This was not one 297 00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:09,120 Speaker 1: of the situations where in action was an option. And 298 00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:10,880 Speaker 1: uh and I write in the book about how I 299 00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:13,240 Speaker 1: went to my my aunt and it was my aunt 300 00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:15,560 Speaker 1: that finally convinced me that I had no choice but 301 00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:18,920 Speaker 1: to talk to my mother. But my mom has always 302 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:23,120 Speaker 1: been long before we started calling people fixers, my mom 303 00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:26,400 Speaker 1: was a fixer like it was. It was that that 304 00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:28,880 Speaker 1: honestly was an extreme example. But there were so many 305 00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:31,680 Speaker 1: other times in my life where I thought I was 306 00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:34,240 Speaker 1: out of option. I didn't know what I was gonna do, 307 00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:36,640 Speaker 1: and I prayed to God and put trust in Betty 308 00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:39,640 Speaker 1: Joe Melvine and and Betty Joe Melvine always came through 309 00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:42,320 Speaker 1: and still does now. Mind you, in a different way, 310 00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:45,280 Speaker 1: my dad, you know, rute about that, that that part 311 00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:47,680 Speaker 1: in the book with Schean where he showed up at 312 00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:50,720 Speaker 1: my little league game, and the memory steed with me 313 00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:54,200 Speaker 1: because it was so rare to that point, my dad 314 00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:58,640 Speaker 1: um and and again now looking back on it, knowing 315 00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:01,440 Speaker 1: what we know about addiction, about it being a disease, 316 00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:04,960 Speaker 1: and not a weakness. I understand why he wasn't there. 317 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:08,960 Speaker 1: I understand why he had walled himself off from our 318 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:12,240 Speaker 1: family and society at large. But back then I was 319 00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:14,040 Speaker 1: a kid, you know, I was a kid in one 320 00:17:14,119 --> 00:17:16,199 Speaker 1: of my my my dad to to be proud of 321 00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:19,359 Speaker 1: me and see me, uh and certainly watch watch my 322 00:17:19,359 --> 00:17:22,480 Speaker 1: little league games. And so when he showed up that evening, 323 00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:25,119 Speaker 1: I saw him down the third baseline there on the 324 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:26,920 Speaker 1: on the fence. It's a it's a memory that that 325 00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:31,240 Speaker 1: stayed with me because it was so weird. That being said, now, um, 326 00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:34,080 Speaker 1: he's everywhere, like you know, he was up. Two weeks ago, 327 00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:36,719 Speaker 1: my son had a soccer game. My dad was right 328 00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:40,439 Speaker 1: there with me on the sideline and thirty seconds in 329 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:43,639 Speaker 1: my my boy hadn't scored a goal all season, thirty 330 00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:48,480 Speaker 1: seconds in dribble dribble, dribble, dribble, dribble, shoot score first 331 00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:51,240 Speaker 1: goal of the game, and and me and my pops 332 00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:52,879 Speaker 1: are half five and like he had just won a 333 00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:57,000 Speaker 1: green jacket at Augustina. You know, um it was The 334 00:17:57,040 --> 00:18:01,040 Speaker 1: book is um an emotional book. I say emotional because 335 00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:03,199 Speaker 1: I told people when I get a book like this 336 00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:06,040 Speaker 1: outter slow read it because sometimes they hit points where 337 00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:08,639 Speaker 1: I go, I'm about to about to go there, I'm 338 00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:12,080 Speaker 1: not let me finish this moment. And because I remember 339 00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:15,920 Speaker 1: a moment with my dad, uh two, when I owned 340 00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:20,040 Speaker 1: a comedy club and my dad had never ever been 341 00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:22,000 Speaker 1: to anything I've been, and he just showed up at 342 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:25,240 Speaker 1: the comedy club and uh it was sold out and 343 00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:27,280 Speaker 1: looked at the libbarists. What you're doing, your dad, He goes, 344 00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:30,320 Speaker 1: I come to see my son. And he looked around. 345 00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:33,919 Speaker 1: He looked, wow, this you this you this you? And 346 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:37,040 Speaker 1: I went, uh, yes, sir, yes, sir you. Because always 347 00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:40,720 Speaker 1: said certain to my dad, and uh he said, he said, 348 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:44,560 Speaker 1: he said, I'm proud of your son. And and and 349 00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:46,720 Speaker 1: like I said, this is because that's what the book 350 00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:49,879 Speaker 1: did to me as a dad. Because when you start 351 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:53,840 Speaker 1: talking about incarceration and you talked about remember you're talking 352 00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:57,040 Speaker 1: you said earlier right turn, left, turn those turns. I 353 00:18:57,080 --> 00:18:59,280 Speaker 1: always say that. When I was in college, you know 354 00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:01,200 Speaker 1: you you played a fraternity. I pledged to make a 355 00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:04,040 Speaker 1: side five, and you always do stupid things. I remember 356 00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:06,400 Speaker 1: that the Big brothers said we want some plants. Well, 357 00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:09,560 Speaker 1: we didn't have no money, and so I remember just 358 00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:12,240 Speaker 1: just giant open field where they had plants back in 359 00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:14,879 Speaker 1: the day, and reminded the Lyon brothers. We went and 360 00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:17,680 Speaker 1: stole these plants. Man. I mean, if you look back 361 00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:20,840 Speaker 1: on the Craig from the freeway, you would have seen 362 00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:23,760 Speaker 1: us running across this field with these plants. Okay, So 363 00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:27,080 Speaker 1: anybody could have went, what are those black dudes boys 364 00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:30,320 Speaker 1: doing running with all these giant plants. And I had 365 00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:33,359 Speaker 1: a little Fiat X one nine, which is a two seater, 366 00:19:33,680 --> 00:19:35,959 Speaker 1: and the truck was in the front, so I had 367 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:38,440 Speaker 1: to put the plants in the front and black and 368 00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:42,199 Speaker 1: my win seal. So along the way I could have 369 00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:44,840 Speaker 1: stopped and stopped by the police and been incarcerated, and 370 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:47,520 Speaker 1: my life could have changed. On that right turn left 371 00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:50,360 Speaker 1: turn that you were talking about earlier, you are meeting 372 00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:53,960 Speaker 1: men who've done something far worse than what I've talked about, 373 00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:56,919 Speaker 1: but they have made a mistake. And sometimes because they 374 00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:58,960 Speaker 1: made a mistake, we don't give them a second chance 375 00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:01,919 Speaker 1: because we feel that they're unworthy of that second chance. 376 00:20:02,359 --> 00:20:04,320 Speaker 1: And then in your book you talk about guess what 377 00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:08,480 Speaker 1: they are fathers too. Let's talk about their journey of 378 00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:12,399 Speaker 1: you doing a story I think basically changed your life, 379 00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:15,720 Speaker 1: and it started with Camp Grace. Yeah, it was one 380 00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:18,399 Speaker 1: of the most impactful stories I've ever done. Uh, there's 381 00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:20,800 Speaker 1: a I don't even remember how we found out about 382 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:23,960 Speaker 1: this camp, but um, I was probably reading some article 383 00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:28,679 Speaker 1: in an obscure publication about this UM summer camp at 384 00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:34,840 Speaker 1: a maximum security prison in uh California, Salina's State Valley 385 00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:38,680 Speaker 1: Prison is the name of the facility, and for one 386 00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:44,560 Speaker 1: week every summer UM they bring in about a dozen 387 00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:48,600 Speaker 1: or so kids to basically have a camp experience with 388 00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:51,600 Speaker 1: their dad's I mean, you know, arts and crafts, and 389 00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:54,639 Speaker 1: they play games, and they sing songs and they do 390 00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:57,400 Speaker 1: all the stuff that do at a camp. And these 391 00:20:57,480 --> 00:21:00,280 Speaker 1: kids are between the ages of you know, sad under 392 00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:05,200 Speaker 1: eight and in fifteen or sixteen. And the guys who 393 00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:09,040 Speaker 1: are part of the program have to um exhibit good 394 00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:12,960 Speaker 1: behavior for a full year the campus. A it's a privilege. 395 00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:17,840 Speaker 1: And UM I went out and spend some time talking 396 00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:21,040 Speaker 1: to these guys and it ended up being just an 397 00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:23,600 Speaker 1: emotional day because these these are men. First of all, 398 00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:26,360 Speaker 1: most of them are not going to be getting out 399 00:21:26,359 --> 00:21:28,359 Speaker 1: of prison. I mean they've some of them have have 400 00:21:28,359 --> 00:21:33,560 Speaker 1: have been convicted of doing some pretty heinous things. UM. 401 00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:37,560 Speaker 1: But the two women that started the camp, both of 402 00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:42,119 Speaker 1: their husbands were incarcerated and consequently weren't really a part 403 00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:47,119 Speaker 1: of the child's lives. They would get the occasional visit, 404 00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:49,240 Speaker 1: you know, on a weekend, and you've got the glass, 405 00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:52,000 Speaker 1: and but they weren't able to really be a part 406 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:53,600 Speaker 1: of the child's lives. So they came up side there 407 00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:55,240 Speaker 1: for a camp. And I talked to one of the 408 00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:57,159 Speaker 1: guys out there, and I asked him the question I 409 00:21:57,240 --> 00:21:58,680 Speaker 1: knew a lot of people are going to be asking 410 00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:02,120 Speaker 1: when they watched the read this story. How can someone 411 00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:07,199 Speaker 1: um accused of some of the things these guys were 412 00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:12,520 Speaker 1: accused of. How in what universe do they deserve the 413 00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:16,359 Speaker 1: right to spend time with with it with the child? 414 00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:20,119 Speaker 1: And without missing a beat, he said to me, tears 415 00:22:20,119 --> 00:22:24,400 Speaker 1: in his eyes. Um, they might be right. I may 416 00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:27,399 Speaker 1: not deserve it, but you know what credit my kids do. 417 00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:30,760 Speaker 1: My kids deserve to know their father. They didn't do 418 00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:35,600 Speaker 1: anything wrong, they didn't make any bad choices. Uh. And 419 00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:37,600 Speaker 1: his larger point, and I think this was just a 420 00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:42,440 Speaker 1: valid If we're serious about stopping the prison pipeline that 421 00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:45,360 Speaker 1: we always talk about, uh, then we need to make 422 00:22:45,359 --> 00:22:49,640 Speaker 1: sure that kids of of incarcerated individuals have relationships with them. 423 00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:52,040 Speaker 1: He spent a fair amount of his time talking to 424 00:22:52,119 --> 00:22:56,919 Speaker 1: his daughter about choices, making good choices, not ending up 425 00:22:57,000 --> 00:23:00,280 Speaker 1: where he ended up. It's a fantastic pro women. It 426 00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:04,520 Speaker 1: moved me. It also moved me, Sean because my grandmother, 427 00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:06,080 Speaker 1: and it's the first line in the book. Not to 428 00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:08,639 Speaker 1: give away too much, but you know, my my grandmother. 429 00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:12,720 Speaker 1: Uh now, when I knew her, she was here, she 430 00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:15,720 Speaker 1: was going to church at the church, coming home from church, 431 00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:20,240 Speaker 1: like she she only loved the Lord, but apparently long 432 00:23:20,359 --> 00:23:23,360 Speaker 1: before I came along. But this just just say she's 433 00:23:23,359 --> 00:23:25,119 Speaker 1: a bootlegger. I want to give it no more than that. 434 00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:26,639 Speaker 1: Just say she's a bootleg. I don't want to give 435 00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:29,359 Speaker 1: her the earther part. Okay, see a bootlegger. She was 436 00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:33,080 Speaker 1: a bootlegger. She was a bootlegger. And and and and 437 00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:36,879 Speaker 1: got a second CHANCEY did. And had she not gotten 438 00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:40,639 Speaker 1: a second chance, who's to say whether I would be 439 00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:43,240 Speaker 1: here right now, you know. But it is the thing 440 00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:45,720 Speaker 1: I want to point out about that. Now, his grandmother 441 00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:48,800 Speaker 1: was in the same jail that Martha Stewart was in. 442 00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:53,200 Speaker 1: So she got how many chances as she's got. Okay, 443 00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:56,560 Speaker 1: but in the same facility now. And so so when 444 00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:58,320 Speaker 1: I when I when I read the book and and 445 00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:01,960 Speaker 1: and and it's consis an emotional journey because it's your story, 446 00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:04,560 Speaker 1: but it's a relatable story because I remember when my 447 00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:09,600 Speaker 1: younger brother was incarcerated in California and uh glass talking 448 00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:12,159 Speaker 1: and uh and I was in tears and and and 449 00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:15,159 Speaker 1: he told me he couldn't cry. He's I reached. I 450 00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:17,800 Speaker 1: can't cry. I can't They can't, he said, I kid, 451 00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:20,760 Speaker 1: and my nicknames Ricky and Rickie. I can't cry because 452 00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:22,840 Speaker 1: they see me cryed out here. I pay a price 453 00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:27,199 Speaker 1: when I go back inside. And in that book, you know, 454 00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:29,320 Speaker 1: you know when you interview and he said, look, he said, 455 00:24:29,359 --> 00:24:33,280 Speaker 1: thank god, I have a sale by myself because now 456 00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:36,679 Speaker 1: I can't cry. And so I love the fact that 457 00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:39,600 Speaker 1: you were humanizing people because we we see these we 458 00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:42,040 Speaker 1: see this, we see the violent size, and nobody is 459 00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:45,400 Speaker 1: trying to downplay that. But we have made mistakes. There 460 00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:47,159 Speaker 1: are people on the other side of this that have 461 00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:50,040 Speaker 1: to deal with the emotionalise the kids, and like one 462 00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:53,480 Speaker 1: of them said, look, um, it's all right early on 463 00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:56,520 Speaker 1: when you're playing cards and you're playing catch, but when 464 00:24:56,560 --> 00:25:00,480 Speaker 1: they become teens, the conversation becomes different. And that's what 465 00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:03,639 Speaker 1: fatherhood's all about, which leads to your whole life or 466 00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:06,320 Speaker 1: being a father, being connected to your dad and not 467 00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:08,840 Speaker 1: being a present day father. Let's talk about that great, 468 00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:13,840 Speaker 1: you know it. I think that I think that you 469 00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:19,240 Speaker 1: can be shaped by negative examples, um, just as much 470 00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:21,320 Speaker 1: as you can be shaped by positive examples. In fact, 471 00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:24,160 Speaker 1: I think in so many instances, maybe even more so. So. 472 00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:28,000 Speaker 1: You know, growing up, I didn't know the kind of 473 00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:31,240 Speaker 1: man that I wanted to be. I didn't certainly know 474 00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:32,919 Speaker 1: the kind of father that I wanted to be. But 475 00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:35,480 Speaker 1: up until a few years ago, I knew I didn't 476 00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:39,000 Speaker 1: want to be anything of anything like my dad. Yes, um, 477 00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:42,040 Speaker 1: and and and and that was what what motivated me 478 00:25:42,119 --> 00:25:44,960 Speaker 1: personally and professionally, probably to a certain extent now that 479 00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:49,080 Speaker 1: I'm talking about it. But no, it's it's it's funny 480 00:25:49,119 --> 00:25:52,119 Speaker 1: because I have to remind my kids sometimes and I 481 00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:56,679 Speaker 1: have a job, and and and consequently I cannot be 482 00:25:57,400 --> 00:26:01,119 Speaker 1: at their back and call uh they and not because 483 00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:03,800 Speaker 1: you know, when my dad was there when we were younger, 484 00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:05,880 Speaker 1: it was it was big, like it was a wedding 485 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:10,080 Speaker 1: or funeral or graduation, or that that Little League game 486 00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:12,560 Speaker 1: that I write about it I remember because it was 487 00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:14,720 Speaker 1: so weird. Dad didn't show up with stuff, in part 488 00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:17,760 Speaker 1: because he worked third shift at the post office, but 489 00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:20,879 Speaker 1: in larger part because because of the addiction issues that 490 00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:25,119 Speaker 1: he had um So as a result, I'm going to 491 00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:27,119 Speaker 1: the other end of the spectrum. So if you know, 492 00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:30,080 Speaker 1: I'm there for soccer games and my daughter had a 493 00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:33,720 Speaker 1: gymnastics recital last Sunday morning, and you know something, I'm 494 00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:37,439 Speaker 1: physically present as often as and as much as I 495 00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:39,480 Speaker 1: came to do you know, pick I do school, pick 496 00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:43,040 Speaker 1: up and trying to do it all because you know, 497 00:26:43,119 --> 00:26:46,960 Speaker 1: my dad didn't do any other Another problem that that 498 00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:49,400 Speaker 1: that you create when you do that, and it took 499 00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:51,879 Speaker 1: me a while to pigure this out. I've created expectations 500 00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:56,159 Speaker 1: so if if I'm not there to go that he 501 00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:59,040 Speaker 1: has got to travel for work, Well, Daddy, why can't 502 00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:01,439 Speaker 1: you can you take a later flight? And they can 503 00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:03,760 Speaker 1: you go tomorrow? And I've had to say a few times, 504 00:27:04,359 --> 00:27:08,320 Speaker 1: you know that it's the job that pays for all 505 00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:12,600 Speaker 1: of this. You don't get to go to dance or 506 00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:15,080 Speaker 1: you don't get to go with the soccer If Dad 507 00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:19,040 Speaker 1: is not hopping on playing like so that that's the 508 00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:21,639 Speaker 1: that's the that's the the unfortunate part. But there you 509 00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:24,000 Speaker 1: know they're starting to understand. But it's funny as you 510 00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:26,840 Speaker 1: become a parent, how you at some point to come 511 00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:30,159 Speaker 1: you become the kind of for me at least, the 512 00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:33,040 Speaker 1: kind of father that I used to mock, yes, hate 513 00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:35,000 Speaker 1: it with My dad would talk about, you know, how 514 00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:39,639 Speaker 1: much something costs you don't have money to and and 515 00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:42,800 Speaker 1: when we were younger, we didn't like he wasn't lying, 516 00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:44,520 Speaker 1: like we knew we didn't have a lot of money 517 00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:47,560 Speaker 1: when we had enough with my kids, you know, I've 518 00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:49,560 Speaker 1: I've said a few times and we can't afford this, 519 00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:52,480 Speaker 1: and myself was I missing Beto say yes we can, 520 00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:57,520 Speaker 1: what you can, and I'm like, and then you then 521 00:27:57,520 --> 00:27:59,320 Speaker 1: you find yourself trying to come up with a new 522 00:27:59,359 --> 00:28:03,199 Speaker 1: excuse like, uh, well maybe we can't afford it, but 523 00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:06,160 Speaker 1: that we don't need it. You don't need that, right 524 00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:11,280 Speaker 1: right right. It's hard And I know we're about to 525 00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:13,560 Speaker 1: wrap up. I want to bring up a very um 526 00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:16,280 Speaker 1: a fun moment as a parent, and I I want 527 00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:18,320 Speaker 1: to share with you because you wrote about it when 528 00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:20,879 Speaker 1: your son climbed into bed, and you know, and then 529 00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:23,240 Speaker 1: then your kids when they sleep. If you if you 530 00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:26,159 Speaker 1: don't have kids children you got a very young child 531 00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:29,040 Speaker 1: when they climb in the bed, they forget you in bed. 532 00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:32,800 Speaker 1: They kids got the worst sleepers in the world, especial 533 00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:34,560 Speaker 1: when they get that six to ten years of age 534 00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:38,320 Speaker 1: were sleep And so when you said that in the book, 535 00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:43,000 Speaker 1: you said, you you may miss that. I remember I 536 00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:45,320 Speaker 1: talked to my daughter when she was like seventeen. I said, hey, 537 00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:47,600 Speaker 1: what you what you're hopping bed watching TV? Sh what 538 00:28:47,680 --> 00:28:50,560 Speaker 1: you're talking about? I said, you know, can we not 539 00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:53,200 Speaker 1: watch the TV? Can we not watch TV? Together? And 540 00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:56,440 Speaker 1: then we used to go, I don't do that no more, dad, No, no, 541 00:28:56,520 --> 00:28:59,520 Speaker 1: we're not doing that. So I would tell you this, Craig, 542 00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:02,960 Speaker 1: that more brought laughter to me. They brought back memories 543 00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:06,040 Speaker 1: as your book, you know, the amazingly good book Pops 544 00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:08,200 Speaker 1: Learning to Be a Son and the Father. Man. Uh, 545 00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:11,160 Speaker 1: it's a great read. And like I said, it slowed 546 00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:12,960 Speaker 1: me when I said the word slowed me because I 547 00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:16,120 Speaker 1: was becoming emotional because, like I said, my father was 548 00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:19,080 Speaker 1: a beer drinker. My father worked hard as a truck driver. 549 00:29:19,560 --> 00:29:22,400 Speaker 1: My father, like I said, was he in my life. 550 00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:24,320 Speaker 1: I don't know, but did he shaped me to be 551 00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:26,360 Speaker 1: the man I am today? Yes, he did because he 552 00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:28,760 Speaker 1: had a role in it, and that that role has 553 00:29:28,760 --> 00:29:30,440 Speaker 1: made me to be the man I am. ID like 554 00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:32,880 Speaker 1: to believe. I'm a good parent to my daughter, a 555 00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:36,040 Speaker 1: good husband to my wife. And those are the things 556 00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:38,240 Speaker 1: that that the stories that you tell out of this book, 557 00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:42,440 Speaker 1: from the incarcerated to individuals who raised you as a family, 558 00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:46,800 Speaker 1: the community, and whether teachers who shaped you as third grade, 559 00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:49,680 Speaker 1: teachers who shaped you as as you go through life 560 00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:52,040 Speaker 1: and you went to school and you didn't want to 561 00:29:52,280 --> 00:29:54,440 Speaker 1: didn't want to shame your uncle when you didn't pledge 562 00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:58,640 Speaker 1: calf outside. But it was all good. Man. I love 563 00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:00,480 Speaker 1: your book, Craig. I want to appreciate you for putting 564 00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:03,440 Speaker 1: it out there. Man, thank you, Thank you for your time. 565 00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:06,239 Speaker 1: I've enjoyed this conversation. You're very good at what you do. 566 00:30:06,360 --> 00:30:08,880 Speaker 1: Thank you for having Okay, we talked, so man, I'm 567 00:30:08,880 --> 00:30:10,320 Speaker 1: gonna put this on I got look, I got a 568 00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:12,239 Speaker 1: nice little social media I'm gonna put that out there 569 00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:14,920 Speaker 1: and my newsletter. We're gonna get that out there for you. Okay, Craig, 570 00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:18,560 Speaker 1: thank you? All right, by bye, we will be right 571 00:30:18,560 --> 00:30:21,680 Speaker 1: back with more money making conversations with your host or 572 00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:26,280 Speaker 1: Sean McDonald. It's finally here, the season of celebration, and 573 00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:29,320 Speaker 1: no matter how you celebrate with family and friends, whether 574 00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:32,960 Speaker 1: you're preparing for reys, magos or Karamu lighting the Manura, 575 00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:36,200 Speaker 1: are going to midnight Mass, Coals has just what you 576 00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:40,120 Speaker 1: need to make those traditions special. Plus you'll find gifts 577 00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:43,400 Speaker 1: for all your loved ones. Send warm wishes with Cozy 578 00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:48,040 Speaker 1: Fleece's sweaters, loungeware, blankets and throws. Support minority owned or 579 00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:52,080 Speaker 1: founded brands by giving gifts from Human Nation and Shame moisture, 580 00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:55,719 Speaker 1: or treat them to everyone's favorite activewear from top brands 581 00:30:55,800 --> 00:30:59,400 Speaker 1: like Nike, Adidas, and under Armour. And in the spirit 582 00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:02,920 Speaker 1: of giving, Coals Cares is donating eight million dollars to 583 00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:06,480 Speaker 1: local nonprofits nationwide committed to the health and well being 584 00:31:06,560 --> 00:31:09,880 Speaker 1: of our communities. No matter how you celebrate, when you 585 00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:13,840 Speaker 1: shop at Coals, you're right where you belong. So this season, 586 00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:16,920 Speaker 1: give with all your heart with great gifts from Coals 587 00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:20,120 Speaker 1: or Coals dot Com. Look for your children's eyes to 588 00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:23,720 Speaker 1: see the true magic of a forest. It's a storybook 589 00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:26,880 Speaker 1: world for them. You look and see a tree. They 590 00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:30,240 Speaker 1: see the wrinkled face of a wizard with arms outstretched 591 00:31:30,280 --> 00:31:33,600 Speaker 1: to the sky. They see treasure and pebbles, They see 592 00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:36,720 Speaker 1: a windy path that could lead to adventure, and they 593 00:31:36,760 --> 00:31:41,360 Speaker 1: see you. They're fearless. Guide. Is this fascinating world? Find 594 00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:44,080 Speaker 1: a forest near you and start exploring. A Discover the 595 00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:46,560 Speaker 1: Forest dot org brought to you by the United States 596 00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:50,160 Speaker 1: Forest Service and the AD Council. What grows in the 597 00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:54,000 Speaker 1: forest trees? Sure no one else grows in the forest. 598 00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:58,160 Speaker 1: Our imagination, our sense of wonder, and our family bonds 599 00:31:58,240 --> 00:32:03,200 Speaker 1: grow too, because when we discus neck from this and 600 00:32:03,320 --> 00:32:08,240 Speaker 1: connect with this, we reconnect with each other. The forest 601 00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:11,040 Speaker 1: is closer than you think. Find a forest near you 602 00:32:11,360 --> 00:32:14,720 Speaker 1: and start exploring. I Discover the Forest dot org brought 603 00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:17,200 Speaker 1: to you by the United States Forest Service and the 604 00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:23,120 Speaker 1: AD Council. You are now tuned into the money making conversations. 605 00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:27,240 Speaker 1: Minute of Inspiration with Rashan McDonald. Despite being known for loud, 606 00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:31,080 Speaker 1: bombastic comments and his trademarked propensity to debate, a much 607 00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:34,120 Speaker 1: softer side of Stephen A. Smith if revealed when discussing 608 00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:37,120 Speaker 1: the inspiration for his success. The final product is for 609 00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:40,960 Speaker 1: the fans I'm about the work, the process, the grind, 610 00:32:41,320 --> 00:32:45,120 Speaker 1: the day in and day out, meticulous, tedious work that 611 00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:47,320 Speaker 1: you have to put into perfect your craft. And the 612 00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:50,480 Speaker 1: reason why that resonated with me so profoundly, Rashaun, is 613 00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:53,680 Speaker 1: because that's what I attached to all my work. Everybody 614 00:32:53,960 --> 00:32:57,200 Speaker 1: right now is celebrating stephen as World coming on ESPN Plus, 615 00:32:57,200 --> 00:32:59,560 Speaker 1: so they're talking about my sports, and it was Stephen A. Smith. 616 00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:03,040 Speaker 1: The NBA A Show would first take all I think about. 617 00:33:03,120 --> 00:33:05,160 Speaker 1: It's going day to day and making sure that I 618 00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:07,800 Speaker 1: do everything that I can to deliver to the audience 619 00:33:07,840 --> 00:33:11,360 Speaker 1: what their expectations are of me and to exceed those expectations. 620 00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:14,000 Speaker 1: If you want to hear this full interview with Stephen A. Smith, 621 00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:19,280 Speaker 1: visit money Making Conversation dot com. Keep winning. Welcome back 622 00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:23,680 Speaker 1: to Money Making Conversations with your host, Rashan McDonald. My 623 00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:26,240 Speaker 1: next guest is a longtime friend. Her name is Nicki Walton. 624 00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:29,360 Speaker 1: Nick is the best selling and nub A CP Award 625 00:33:29,360 --> 00:33:33,720 Speaker 1: winning nominated author, TV personality, popular podcast host which we 626 00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:36,840 Speaker 1: will talk about in detail, Licensed psychotherapists, which we will 627 00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:39,400 Speaker 1: talk about in detail. In two thousand and eight, Walton 628 00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:42,560 Speaker 1: launch Curly Nikki dot Com, which became the number one 629 00:33:42,680 --> 00:33:46,200 Speaker 1: natural hair care blog site in the world, which in 630 00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:49,000 Speaker 1: millions of women in over thirty countries and influencing the 631 00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:52,760 Speaker 1: marketing and formulation of products for major beauty brands. In 632 00:33:53,520 --> 00:33:57,800 Speaker 1: one Walter launch Nikki That is Good Mornings with Curly Nikki, 633 00:33:58,040 --> 00:34:00,800 Speaker 1: a daily morning show to help listeners find peace and 634 00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:04,280 Speaker 1: chaos and light and darkness. It debated in the top 635 00:34:04,320 --> 00:34:08,080 Speaker 1: five and spirituality on Apple Podcasts. Nikki Walton is dedicated 636 00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:11,560 Speaker 1: to helping people find freedom through their natural hair, healthier 637 00:34:11,600 --> 00:34:16,239 Speaker 1: lifestyle choices, and ultimately through their spiritual enlightenment. Please walking 638 00:34:16,239 --> 00:34:18,760 Speaker 1: with the money making conversation. It's been too long, was fouling. 639 00:34:18,840 --> 00:34:22,879 Speaker 1: She has arrived. Nikki Walton, thank you, thank you. I'm 640 00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:26,000 Speaker 1: so honored to be here. You have a powerful, powerful platform. 641 00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:29,399 Speaker 1: I absolutely appreciate everything you do to keep us all 642 00:34:29,480 --> 00:34:34,120 Speaker 1: inspired and push for greater like leveling up, always leveling up. Well, 643 00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:35,839 Speaker 1: you know, I thank you, thank you. You know we've 644 00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:37,880 Speaker 1: we've known on each other for a long time. You 645 00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:40,600 Speaker 1: know when Steve and I was at HarperCollins and was 646 00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:44,120 Speaker 1: introduced when your first book came out and uh and 647 00:34:43,840 --> 00:34:45,920 Speaker 1: and I want to start there. I want to start 648 00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:49,600 Speaker 1: there because of the the natural hair care boom, which 649 00:34:49,640 --> 00:34:52,959 Speaker 1: I like to believe you were in front of, and 650 00:34:53,040 --> 00:34:56,440 Speaker 1: now it seems to be. You know, we've seen lawsuits, 651 00:34:56,440 --> 00:35:00,320 Speaker 1: we've seen uh, we've seen corporate structures change, We've seeing 652 00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:05,680 Speaker 1: the military service change their standards. With that being said, 653 00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:09,240 Speaker 1: let's talk about that journey that started. And it started 654 00:35:09,239 --> 00:35:11,239 Speaker 1: before two thousand and eight. But then you launch your 655 00:35:11,239 --> 00:35:13,719 Speaker 1: site currently Nikki dot com, in two thousand and eight. 656 00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:16,799 Speaker 1: So but a lot of people question your journey, your 657 00:35:16,800 --> 00:35:19,400 Speaker 1: decision and said, hey, what's wrong with straight hair. You 658 00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:22,360 Speaker 1: never said it was anything wrong with straight hair or 659 00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:25,640 Speaker 1: processed hair or permed hair. It just say why can't 660 00:35:25,680 --> 00:35:28,920 Speaker 1: I do it naturally correct exactly, Let's get some healthy 661 00:35:29,080 --> 00:35:33,200 Speaker 1: options and versatility. I've never been anti straight hair, or 662 00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:36,680 Speaker 1: anti weed, or even anti relaxed. I just wanted to 663 00:35:36,719 --> 00:35:40,120 Speaker 1: show women that they had the option to embrace and 664 00:35:40,160 --> 00:35:43,840 Speaker 1: work with their texture, which can truly improve your quality 665 00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:46,239 Speaker 1: of life. I mean, I grew up being afraid to 666 00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:48,680 Speaker 1: get in a swimming pool. I grew up being afraid 667 00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:50,480 Speaker 1: to get in the drop top car. I grew up 668 00:35:50,480 --> 00:35:52,800 Speaker 1: being afraid to go on vacation without a plan for 669 00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:55,080 Speaker 1: my hair. You know, you can't go to a job 670 00:35:55,120 --> 00:35:57,400 Speaker 1: interview unless you already know like what I'm gonna do 671 00:35:57,400 --> 00:35:59,319 Speaker 1: with my hair, And when you're trying to figure that out, 672 00:35:59,480 --> 00:36:02,759 Speaker 1: you're not caring for the interview itself, right, You're not 673 00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:05,759 Speaker 1: on your a game. So learning how to work with 674 00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:09,600 Speaker 1: your hair, learning and like learning how to appreciate it 675 00:36:09,719 --> 00:36:13,359 Speaker 1: and feel good in your own hair free up some 676 00:36:13,520 --> 00:36:16,319 Speaker 1: bandwidth to be able to actually succeed and focus on 677 00:36:16,320 --> 00:36:19,279 Speaker 1: the things that need to do. So it's like it's 678 00:36:19,320 --> 00:36:23,359 Speaker 1: it completely changes your entire life when your hair isn't 679 00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:26,839 Speaker 1: the foremost the foremost thought in your mind. Okay, let's letten. 680 00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:28,839 Speaker 1: I grew up with six sisters, because I'm not saying 681 00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:31,440 Speaker 1: that my authority on anybody's hair, especially my own. I 682 00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:34,880 Speaker 1: don't even have hair, Okay, so at some point I 683 00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:36,600 Speaker 1: had it. I had it, but I thought I was 684 00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:38,759 Speaker 1: looking good. I still think I'm looking good without it. 685 00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:42,640 Speaker 1: So we work picking up at all. I thought I 686 00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:44,840 Speaker 1: was a baby Michael Jackson because we was the same age. 687 00:36:44,840 --> 00:36:48,839 Speaker 1: So Mike me going out there and grooving together. When 688 00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:52,200 Speaker 1: I when I look at what exactly, because I want 689 00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:54,760 Speaker 1: to really get a clear definition with natural hairets because 690 00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:57,480 Speaker 1: my mom, you know, she would take a curling iron 691 00:36:57,920 --> 00:37:01,879 Speaker 1: to my sister's hair and straight in it. Okay, now 692 00:37:02,080 --> 00:37:05,239 Speaker 1: is that the natural hair? That are we saying that 693 00:37:05,239 --> 00:37:08,240 Speaker 1: that's what straightening is? Yeah, no, that is heat style 694 00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:10,880 Speaker 1: natural hair. So that's when I grew up with. We 695 00:37:10,880 --> 00:37:13,880 Speaker 1: weren't allowed to get terms or relaxers in my household. 696 00:37:13,920 --> 00:37:15,520 Speaker 1: That was the decision that we were gonna have to make, 697 00:37:15,880 --> 00:37:18,719 Speaker 1: you know, got out the house. But eat sally, that's 698 00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:21,799 Speaker 1: blow dryers, that's hot curlers, that's pressing combes off, so 699 00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:24,920 Speaker 1: that's flat iron. You can eat sell your natural hair. 700 00:37:25,080 --> 00:37:27,560 Speaker 1: But if you don't do it carefully, and if you 701 00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:30,080 Speaker 1: do it too much, you can end up damaging your 702 00:37:30,160 --> 00:37:33,000 Speaker 1: your natural hair. And it's actually called it a permanently straighten. 703 00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:35,080 Speaker 1: You have to throw that out or to just get 704 00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:38,040 Speaker 1: dry and break off, which I dealt with in college 705 00:37:38,040 --> 00:37:40,480 Speaker 1: when I started playing the key too much. Right, And 706 00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:42,360 Speaker 1: now then I'm gonna go to my daughter. You know, 707 00:37:42,440 --> 00:37:46,120 Speaker 1: she was a tennis prodigy, prodigy, and so you know, 708 00:37:46,200 --> 00:37:49,239 Speaker 1: wanting to you know, you get a process, so it's 709 00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:52,520 Speaker 1: quick and easy, and I'm not using terminology. I'm not 710 00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:54,960 Speaker 1: trying to get anybody mad not, I'm just speaking roushan 711 00:37:55,160 --> 00:37:58,120 Speaker 1: point of reference, okay, my sister's my next point of 712 00:37:58,160 --> 00:38:02,439 Speaker 1: references my daughter Okay, And I would say that I 713 00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:05,680 Speaker 1: did the permanent. We have to stop because of the 714 00:38:05,719 --> 00:38:08,360 Speaker 1: fact that it broke all our hair out, okay, But 715 00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:11,799 Speaker 1: we were doing it because it was convenient. We were 716 00:38:11,840 --> 00:38:14,480 Speaker 1: doing it because it lasts a certain period of time. 717 00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:18,239 Speaker 1: I didn't have to be bothered. Is that what it is? 718 00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:23,280 Speaker 1: That is that part of the problem of women's convenience. 719 00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:26,520 Speaker 1: Convenience as major, that's all of us. But the problem 720 00:38:26,600 --> 00:38:29,640 Speaker 1: is why why is that work convenient? And it's because 721 00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:33,439 Speaker 1: of the standard society standard that straight hair is better. 722 00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:36,400 Speaker 1: So it's convenient to get a firm instead of, uh, 723 00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:38,920 Speaker 1: you know, get your hair blacker, because it's going to 724 00:38:38,960 --> 00:38:42,200 Speaker 1: actually last longer. I might would stand the humidity. If 725 00:38:42,200 --> 00:38:45,200 Speaker 1: you'll get it wet, you know, it'll stay straighter, you know, 726 00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:48,640 Speaker 1: versus you having it pressed out. So it's convenient if 727 00:38:48,640 --> 00:38:51,600 Speaker 1: you're trying to mimic a certain standard of beauty. But 728 00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:54,200 Speaker 1: it's less convenient, you know, if you're actually trying to 729 00:38:54,239 --> 00:38:56,120 Speaker 1: work with the texture, Like my hair doesn't grow O, 730 00:38:56,200 --> 00:38:58,319 Speaker 1: don't mind scout straight you know, if I worked with 731 00:38:58,440 --> 00:39:02,160 Speaker 1: the highly textured fors and waves, then it's convenient to 732 00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:04,399 Speaker 1: do a twist out. You know, it's convenient to keep 733 00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:06,319 Speaker 1: it in twists, it's convenient to do a curly fun 734 00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:08,680 Speaker 1: So it's just like we have to change the way 735 00:39:08,760 --> 00:39:11,680 Speaker 1: we think about stuff. On the other hand, natural hair 736 00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:15,000 Speaker 1: is a lot. Our hair is amazing, and we are 737 00:39:15,160 --> 00:39:17,880 Speaker 1: some of us are blessed with great density. Like my daughter, 738 00:39:17,960 --> 00:39:19,719 Speaker 1: her hair comes like it goes to her, but that's 739 00:39:19,719 --> 00:39:21,920 Speaker 1: how long it is. But it's three times as thick 740 00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:26,440 Speaker 1: as mine, and it takes like a full Saturday. And 741 00:39:26,520 --> 00:39:29,240 Speaker 1: I would never let her know that it's a burden 742 00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:31,839 Speaker 1: like as it is. It takes from like nine am 743 00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:35,160 Speaker 1: until five pm for the selling process. I mean, so 744 00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:36,960 Speaker 1: when I'm doing her hair, it's like, oh, your hair 745 00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:38,880 Speaker 1: is supportious. Oh my goodness, you have so much hair. 746 00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:41,360 Speaker 1: So trying to instill in her your hair as beautiful 747 00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:43,920 Speaker 1: as it is. You don't need to do anything to 748 00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:48,000 Speaker 1: be better. You're already perfect. Now. You was was talking 749 00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:50,680 Speaker 1: about your hair from nine to five and you and 750 00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:53,640 Speaker 1: you empower her with the knowledge that she's beautiful with 751 00:39:53,719 --> 00:39:57,920 Speaker 1: her natural hair. Now with that empowerment, leads to a 752 00:39:57,920 --> 00:40:01,120 Speaker 1: lot of adult conversations that you have with women who 753 00:40:01,160 --> 00:40:04,960 Speaker 1: aren't kids anymore, who may have kids, who may have 754 00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:08,840 Speaker 1: been um pushed in the in the wrong direction about 755 00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:11,440 Speaker 1: what beauty is. Because I always tell people this is 756 00:40:11,480 --> 00:40:14,440 Speaker 1: that what you what you, what do you? What people 757 00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:16,560 Speaker 1: think of you can lead you in a lot of 758 00:40:16,600 --> 00:40:20,040 Speaker 1: different directions. If people are saying positive things about you, 759 00:40:20,400 --> 00:40:22,760 Speaker 1: then it can uplift you and motivate you to success. 760 00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:25,839 Speaker 1: If people drop a knowledge that you have to look 761 00:40:25,880 --> 00:40:29,680 Speaker 1: a certain way to appeal to a certain lane of success, 762 00:40:29,719 --> 00:40:33,960 Speaker 1: it also can diminish your success story or opportunities because 763 00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:36,120 Speaker 1: you feel if you're not looking like that, how can 764 00:40:36,120 --> 00:40:40,319 Speaker 1: you be successful exactly now. It's very, very challenging, and 765 00:40:40,360 --> 00:40:44,239 Speaker 1: you have to find a center within yourself so that yes, 766 00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:47,560 Speaker 1: you received constructive criticisms, but that you're not on a 767 00:40:47,680 --> 00:40:50,520 Speaker 1: roller coaster going up and down with people praising you 768 00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:52,840 Speaker 1: or people putting you down. When I first decided to 769 00:40:52,880 --> 00:40:55,520 Speaker 1: go natural, my family was not for it, and that 770 00:40:55,680 --> 00:40:59,520 Speaker 1: it wasn't coming from a place of um hate, It 771 00:40:59,560 --> 00:41:02,000 Speaker 1: was coming a place of protection. They wanted to see 772 00:41:02,040 --> 00:41:05,319 Speaker 1: me have the most, you know, opportunities, the to get 773 00:41:05,360 --> 00:41:07,319 Speaker 1: into the best schools to get the best jobs, and 774 00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:09,759 Speaker 1: they honestly didn't think because of the society that we 775 00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:11,759 Speaker 1: live in, that I would have the opportunity to do 776 00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:14,839 Speaker 1: that with my hair and looking like this, you know. 777 00:41:15,040 --> 00:41:16,960 Speaker 1: So they were like, no, no, no, re sacrificed so 778 00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:20,960 Speaker 1: much for you, just just where it's straight, and I couldn't. 779 00:41:20,640 --> 00:41:24,560 Speaker 1: I respect them and I love them, but I knew 780 00:41:24,560 --> 00:41:27,719 Speaker 1: that that advice wasn't something that I could take, you know, 781 00:41:27,719 --> 00:41:29,680 Speaker 1: because I was coming I was beginning to come into 782 00:41:29,719 --> 00:41:32,200 Speaker 1: my own and into my self love. And I'm like, 783 00:41:32,239 --> 00:41:34,520 Speaker 1: if the world can't accept me how I was born, 784 00:41:35,160 --> 00:41:37,760 Speaker 1: if you know, this job or this school, this university 785 00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:40,440 Speaker 1: can't accept this in this package without it, you know, 786 00:41:40,520 --> 00:41:42,960 Speaker 1: being modified, then I don't need to be there. I'll 787 00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:47,160 Speaker 1: take it somewhere else and succeed there. And thankfully, you know, 788 00:41:47,320 --> 00:41:50,080 Speaker 1: I paved away for myself and other women who look 789 00:41:50,160 --> 00:41:52,000 Speaker 1: like me to be able to stand in rooms and 790 00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:53,880 Speaker 1: stand in the light with their hair the way it 791 00:41:53,960 --> 00:41:56,000 Speaker 1: naturally grows. And if I want to straighten it tomorrow, 792 00:41:56,120 --> 00:41:58,480 Speaker 1: which I do, sometimes, I can do that and I'll 793 00:41:58,480 --> 00:42:01,319 Speaker 1: feel just as pretty that way it now. Thank God, 794 00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:04,360 Speaker 1: I don't only feel pretty when my hair is straight 795 00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:06,800 Speaker 1: because I went through that. You know, all through college, 796 00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:10,319 Speaker 1: I only felt pretty when my hair was straightened. And 797 00:42:10,360 --> 00:42:12,600 Speaker 1: that's not healthy because that's not what it looks like 798 00:42:12,680 --> 00:42:15,280 Speaker 1: most of the time. You know. It's really interesting because 799 00:42:15,360 --> 00:42:18,080 Speaker 1: when I'm talking to I'm talking to Nicki Walton Um, 800 00:42:18,320 --> 00:42:22,239 Speaker 1: founder of the Curly Nicki dot com website, and I'd 801 00:42:22,280 --> 00:42:25,640 Speaker 1: like to say, um movement. Let's let's say curly Nicki 802 00:42:25,719 --> 00:42:29,640 Speaker 1: dot com movement because you know, but you know, you 803 00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:31,279 Speaker 1: have to deal with a lot. Let's let's go and 804 00:42:31,320 --> 00:42:33,239 Speaker 1: break it down when we talk about natural hair because 805 00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:36,040 Speaker 1: natural hair within our black community, okay, you have to 806 00:42:36,080 --> 00:42:38,520 Speaker 1: deal with that, you know, and then you have to 807 00:42:38,520 --> 00:42:41,640 Speaker 1: each other, right, and you have natural hair within the 808 00:42:41,680 --> 00:42:45,160 Speaker 1: white community, because they really didn't understand what's wrong with 809 00:42:45,160 --> 00:42:47,600 Speaker 1: your hair? While your hair all over the place? Why 810 00:42:47,640 --> 00:42:52,359 Speaker 1: is it so big? You know? So how do were 811 00:42:52,400 --> 00:42:54,480 Speaker 1: you able to because that's what they were worried about, 812 00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:56,400 Speaker 1: you know, you know, as a parent, that's all I 813 00:42:56,480 --> 00:42:58,040 Speaker 1: worry about my daughter. I was just trying to give 814 00:42:58,040 --> 00:43:01,160 Speaker 1: her a better life, a better opportunity to not endure 815 00:43:01,800 --> 00:43:04,600 Speaker 1: the pain and suffering that I have endure. And if 816 00:43:04,600 --> 00:43:07,040 Speaker 1: I can get her there a lot better with some advice. 817 00:43:07,200 --> 00:43:09,719 Speaker 1: That's all they was doing. But in the process of 818 00:43:09,760 --> 00:43:12,640 Speaker 1: saying who you want to be, that was your community, 819 00:43:12,920 --> 00:43:16,759 Speaker 1: your people telling you know. So now you have your 820 00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:19,239 Speaker 1: community telling you know. And then you know. In the 821 00:43:19,280 --> 00:43:21,880 Speaker 1: real world, like we talked about, the military has changed 822 00:43:21,920 --> 00:43:26,120 Speaker 1: their laws you still read about periodically, or some athletes 823 00:43:26,200 --> 00:43:28,279 Speaker 1: or some student has been forced to change the hair. 824 00:43:28,520 --> 00:43:32,680 Speaker 1: The hair was cut during a wrestling match or sporting event. 825 00:43:33,080 --> 00:43:34,880 Speaker 1: Just cut their hair because it was natural, and they 826 00:43:34,960 --> 00:43:37,560 Speaker 1: perceived that it would be a disadvantage for you to 827 00:43:37,600 --> 00:43:40,040 Speaker 1: go out there with natural hair. It would get in 828 00:43:40,080 --> 00:43:43,760 Speaker 1: the way. Now, with all that being said two thousand 829 00:43:43,760 --> 00:43:47,560 Speaker 1: and eight, which twelve thirteen years ago, it was uglier 830 00:43:47,680 --> 00:43:52,120 Speaker 1: back then. How did you break through the noise? You know, 831 00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:56,520 Speaker 1: I say, it's each individual. So when I would post 832 00:43:56,680 --> 00:44:00,000 Speaker 1: every single day Monday through Friday, three times a day 833 00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:04,000 Speaker 1: on Curly Nikki, I was reaching obviously millions of people. 834 00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:07,720 Speaker 1: But whenever I'm writing those articles, it's like I'm reaching 835 00:44:07,760 --> 00:44:10,280 Speaker 1: that one person that's on the other side of the screen, 836 00:44:10,320 --> 00:44:13,440 Speaker 1: and I know that she is going to be touched 837 00:44:13,560 --> 00:44:16,520 Speaker 1: and then she's gonna take it to her real life network, 838 00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:19,680 Speaker 1: her real life. She's gonna impact her mother, her sister, 839 00:44:19,760 --> 00:44:21,920 Speaker 1: her best friend, her cousin is they're gonna see her, 840 00:44:22,239 --> 00:44:24,680 Speaker 1: you know, applying the tips and the principles and the 841 00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:27,960 Speaker 1: love from the inside out, you know, and using these 842 00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:30,880 Speaker 1: products and getting great results. And her family, her network 843 00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:32,960 Speaker 1: is gonna see it, and they're gonna be intrigued and 844 00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:35,600 Speaker 1: they're gonna do it. And that was what happened between 845 00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:42,120 Speaker 1: two valcondate and like twenty twenty, like everything changed and 846 00:44:42,120 --> 00:44:45,359 Speaker 1: it caught on like wildflower, like wildfire, because people can 847 00:44:45,400 --> 00:44:48,239 Speaker 1: see she's self confident, and it's not just because her 848 00:44:48,239 --> 00:44:51,560 Speaker 1: hair looks good, like something has shifted in her from 849 00:44:51,600 --> 00:44:55,440 Speaker 1: the inside out. And hair leads you into that journey. 850 00:44:55,600 --> 00:44:57,960 Speaker 1: It guides you into that journey, but it's just the 851 00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:00,840 Speaker 1: beginning of that journey. And the outside world, the people 852 00:45:00,920 --> 00:45:03,440 Speaker 1: closest into you, they see that change and they're like, 853 00:45:03,520 --> 00:45:05,720 Speaker 1: I want some of that, and then it just continues 854 00:45:05,760 --> 00:45:08,200 Speaker 1: to spread out. And so with you're confident in yourself, 855 00:45:08,239 --> 00:45:10,480 Speaker 1: when you go out into the world, people don't have 856 00:45:10,520 --> 00:45:12,879 Speaker 1: to understand you. So when we go into like rooms 857 00:45:12,920 --> 00:45:16,080 Speaker 1: where there's white people, if you are firmed here, they 858 00:45:16,080 --> 00:45:18,480 Speaker 1: don't have anything to say. They have nothing to say, 859 00:45:18,520 --> 00:45:19,920 Speaker 1: and if they do, they're not saying it to your 860 00:45:19,920 --> 00:45:23,440 Speaker 1: heat right to ast you, just Curly Nicki of the 861 00:45:23,520 --> 00:45:27,239 Speaker 1: Niki Movement, the Curly Nicki Movement, Nicky Vaultan, you know, 862 00:45:27,880 --> 00:45:30,400 Speaker 1: I've seen so many pictures of you travel, you know, 863 00:45:31,280 --> 00:45:34,520 Speaker 1: and it was always a journey of like trying to 864 00:45:34,600 --> 00:45:37,239 Speaker 1: find yourself in my mind, you know, because I tell 865 00:45:37,280 --> 00:45:40,000 Speaker 1: everybody you know, in twenty sixteen, when I stopped managing 866 00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:42,560 Speaker 1: Steve Harvey, I had to find myself. I didn't even 867 00:45:42,640 --> 00:45:44,640 Speaker 1: see myself as being successful because I didn't have a 868 00:45:44,719 --> 00:45:47,560 Speaker 1: voice of what success was. And so I don't find 869 00:45:47,560 --> 00:45:49,480 Speaker 1: that as a negative when I say that, because if 870 00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:51,680 Speaker 1: you don't have to define understanding of who you are, 871 00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:54,840 Speaker 1: then how can you chase success. If you do chase success, 872 00:45:54,880 --> 00:45:57,440 Speaker 1: it's going to be temporary because confusion is gonna set in. 873 00:45:57,760 --> 00:46:00,120 Speaker 1: And when the mistakes happen that you don't understand how 874 00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:03,120 Speaker 1: to fix, didn't fail, you will become the champion. And 875 00:46:03,160 --> 00:46:06,319 Speaker 1: so those journeys, because this journey is gonna lead to 876 00:46:06,320 --> 00:46:08,279 Speaker 1: your relationships I'm gonna be talking about, which it's going 877 00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:11,520 Speaker 1: to lead into your very popular Good Mornings with Nikki 878 00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:14,759 Speaker 1: Curly Nikki Podcasts right now in the top five on 879 00:46:14,840 --> 00:46:19,880 Speaker 1: the spirituality on Apple Podcasts. Those journeys. Talk to me 880 00:46:19,920 --> 00:46:24,959 Speaker 1: about that. Yeah, so I could tell in about after 881 00:46:25,040 --> 00:46:28,239 Speaker 1: meeting you, I had hit the bestseller's list with my 882 00:46:28,239 --> 00:46:34,280 Speaker 1: book with HarperCollins. Very successful, you know, have husband, healthy kids, 883 00:46:34,440 --> 00:46:39,560 Speaker 1: the house, the bins, big diamonds, traveling all over the world, 884 00:46:39,640 --> 00:46:43,719 Speaker 1: you know, doing great nonprofit organization partnerships for content on 885 00:46:43,760 --> 00:46:48,320 Speaker 1: curly dot Com, beautiful charmed life, Dr Oz Spots, Steve 886 00:46:48,360 --> 00:46:53,120 Speaker 1: Harvey spots, you know, hanging out with you life. But 887 00:46:53,200 --> 00:46:55,719 Speaker 1: I wasn't happy. And I'm like, if I can't be 888 00:46:55,800 --> 00:46:59,680 Speaker 1: happy with all of this stuff, and I'm still looking 889 00:46:59,719 --> 00:47:02,920 Speaker 1: for the next magazine interview, the next TV spot, the 890 00:47:03,040 --> 00:47:06,200 Speaker 1: next this, the next at the bigger diamond, the bigger car, 891 00:47:06,760 --> 00:47:08,560 Speaker 1: Like I'm never gonna be happy. And I could feel 892 00:47:08,600 --> 00:47:11,920 Speaker 1: that emptiness, and so I knew I needed to continue 893 00:47:11,920 --> 00:47:14,160 Speaker 1: to seek further. And I had already been on a 894 00:47:14,160 --> 00:47:16,120 Speaker 1: spiritual journey I've been on once since I was a kid. 895 00:47:16,360 --> 00:47:18,560 Speaker 1: My parents that I started asking questions that, like seven, 896 00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:21,239 Speaker 1: I was raised Catholic, and they had no answers for me, 897 00:47:21,640 --> 00:47:25,520 Speaker 1: and so I just decided to start reading again, and 898 00:47:25,560 --> 00:47:29,279 Speaker 1: I read probably six hundred books between two thousand and 899 00:47:29,360 --> 00:47:34,400 Speaker 1: twelve and two thousand eighteen from all the different world religions, 900 00:47:34,600 --> 00:47:38,080 Speaker 1: traveled to India, travel to Spain, traveled to Africa twice, 901 00:47:38,480 --> 00:47:41,680 Speaker 1: you know, and sitting in these different oshrooms and temples 902 00:47:41,680 --> 00:47:46,120 Speaker 1: and churches, And at some point when I was in Jerusalem, 903 00:47:46,200 --> 00:47:49,000 Speaker 1: I could tell, I'm like, no matter where I am, 904 00:47:49,120 --> 00:47:53,600 Speaker 1: this presence is this love. There's like an inner exhil 905 00:47:54,080 --> 00:47:57,040 Speaker 1: and inner peace. Like right now, if you can you 906 00:47:57,120 --> 00:47:58,840 Speaker 1: at home and you two are shown just like lower 907 00:47:58,840 --> 00:48:01,799 Speaker 1: your shoulders a little bit and like breathe into your 908 00:48:01,840 --> 00:48:04,000 Speaker 1: stomach and let your stun attention in your stomach go 909 00:48:04,120 --> 00:48:05,759 Speaker 1: and just kind of like come into your body and 910 00:48:05,800 --> 00:48:08,719 Speaker 1: come into the moment. And it's a different way to exist. 911 00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:13,120 Speaker 1: It's like being home, being in church. No matter I'm 912 00:48:13,200 --> 00:48:15,800 Speaker 1: at charge, wherever I am, it's like there's everything is holy. 913 00:48:16,080 --> 00:48:18,040 Speaker 1: So when I noticed that, it didn't matter where I 914 00:48:18,200 --> 00:48:21,479 Speaker 1: was or who I was with, I'm like, it's always here. 915 00:48:21,680 --> 00:48:26,040 Speaker 1: This happiness that's natural peace is always right here where 916 00:48:26,080 --> 00:48:29,600 Speaker 1: I am. And that was freedom for me. And I 917 00:48:29,640 --> 00:48:34,040 Speaker 1: started reading more specifically about enlightenment and what that meant 918 00:48:34,040 --> 00:48:36,960 Speaker 1: two different cultures and two different people and different religions, 919 00:48:37,200 --> 00:48:39,040 Speaker 1: and it all pointed out to the same thing. There's 920 00:48:39,040 --> 00:48:41,359 Speaker 1: a light that we all have, but most of us 921 00:48:41,360 --> 00:48:43,680 Speaker 1: are unaware of it, and so then we seek stuff 922 00:48:43,719 --> 00:48:46,160 Speaker 1: out here, the shining things out here, to try to 923 00:48:46,200 --> 00:48:48,600 Speaker 1: replace that. But if you can just find that light 924 00:48:48,680 --> 00:48:52,560 Speaker 1: within your true purpose and the that's and all of 925 00:48:52,560 --> 00:48:55,840 Speaker 1: that unfolds from that light. But you have to be 926 00:48:55,880 --> 00:48:59,279 Speaker 1: aware of that light here or you'll be distracted and 927 00:48:59,400 --> 00:49:01,879 Speaker 1: empty looking out here in the world. You know, it's 928 00:49:01,880 --> 00:49:06,400 Speaker 1: really interesting because my gift is seeing people for for 929 00:49:06,520 --> 00:49:08,239 Speaker 1: who they are what they can be. And you know, 930 00:49:08,400 --> 00:49:10,680 Speaker 1: I've seen you a lot like and we have hung out. 931 00:49:11,120 --> 00:49:13,520 Speaker 1: I remember sometimes hanging out of the neighborhood awards or 932 00:49:13,520 --> 00:49:17,799 Speaker 1: the hood whatever time about life backstage and but and 933 00:49:17,800 --> 00:49:20,600 Speaker 1: you know, even in those periods, I saw a talented person, 934 00:49:20,600 --> 00:49:22,720 Speaker 1: but I didn't see a voice. You know what I'm saying, 935 00:49:22,840 --> 00:49:24,960 Speaker 1: It's almost like you and this is not in it. 936 00:49:25,080 --> 00:49:27,400 Speaker 1: So you're almost like, you know, you know, you have 937 00:49:27,480 --> 00:49:30,400 Speaker 1: this crowd of people and then this person trying to 938 00:49:30,440 --> 00:49:33,839 Speaker 1: get into the crowd. That was who I always kind 939 00:49:33,840 --> 00:49:36,160 Speaker 1: of saw you, and I couldn't really figure out why 940 00:49:36,760 --> 00:49:38,680 Speaker 1: you couldn't be in the crowd even though you had 941 00:49:38,719 --> 00:49:42,160 Speaker 1: the statue you have, you were beautiful, you articulate, you 942 00:49:42,200 --> 00:49:44,839 Speaker 1: have a resume, but it almost felt like you were 943 00:49:44,880 --> 00:49:47,319 Speaker 1: trying to look at me, look at me. I got 944 00:49:47,320 --> 00:49:49,319 Speaker 1: something to say, I got to something to say. Now 945 00:49:50,360 --> 00:49:52,799 Speaker 1: I see a much more focused person. There have been 946 00:49:52,800 --> 00:49:56,439 Speaker 1: some changes in your life, but you're more focused about you. 947 00:49:57,080 --> 00:49:59,719 Speaker 1: And I tell people it ought to be successful. You 948 00:49:59,719 --> 00:50:01,319 Speaker 1: can talk to anybody. A lot of people used were 949 00:50:01,360 --> 00:50:03,680 Speaker 1: selfish in a bad way, but at some point in 950 00:50:03,719 --> 00:50:06,000 Speaker 1: your life to be successful, it has to be about you. 951 00:50:06,920 --> 00:50:09,520 Speaker 1: And if it's never been about you, then guess what. 952 00:50:09,640 --> 00:50:15,200 Speaker 1: Confusion sets in and also frustration sets in. And I 953 00:50:15,200 --> 00:50:20,600 Speaker 1: saw a talented, frustrated person. Why isn't this talented, frustrated 954 00:50:20,640 --> 00:50:26,720 Speaker 1: person frustrated anymore? Because I found my message and my passion. 955 00:50:27,719 --> 00:50:30,880 Speaker 1: Like I said, when you saw me, I was definitely 956 00:50:31,360 --> 00:50:34,160 Speaker 1: in the light and and not in this light, but 957 00:50:34,239 --> 00:50:36,560 Speaker 1: I was like the world viewed who I was as 958 00:50:36,600 --> 00:50:40,200 Speaker 1: this figure that you know, natural hair, public figure. But 959 00:50:41,120 --> 00:50:44,000 Speaker 1: when I would go on TV for that, it didn't 960 00:50:44,080 --> 00:50:47,920 Speaker 1: feel completely I wasn't completely meat and I didn't know 961 00:50:48,160 --> 00:50:51,840 Speaker 1: who me was, Like what that was, and so I 962 00:50:52,040 --> 00:50:54,480 Speaker 1: dug deep, Like from the time the last time I 963 00:50:54,560 --> 00:50:59,440 Speaker 1: saw you, like until last year, I've been off the map. 964 00:50:59,719 --> 00:51:02,279 Speaker 1: You know this it's been all about, like you said, 965 00:51:02,280 --> 00:51:05,400 Speaker 1: it's not you can call it selfish, you know, I 966 00:51:05,480 --> 00:51:08,000 Speaker 1: call it like being selfless. I needed to get the 967 00:51:08,120 --> 00:51:11,279 Speaker 1: Nikki ego out of the way, you know, the part 968 00:51:11,320 --> 00:51:14,000 Speaker 1: of NICKI that thought she knew where Nikki's life was 969 00:51:14,040 --> 00:51:16,400 Speaker 1: heading and what they needed to do. And most of 970 00:51:16,440 --> 00:51:19,759 Speaker 1: that came from what other people thought Nikki should do. 971 00:51:20,040 --> 00:51:23,520 Speaker 1: You know, almost all of my desires and once and 972 00:51:23,719 --> 00:51:26,560 Speaker 1: the goals were coming from society and from the people 973 00:51:26,640 --> 00:51:28,640 Speaker 1: posts to me, and even people just kind of on 974 00:51:28,640 --> 00:51:30,719 Speaker 1: the outside, like in the comments section, like you should 975 00:51:30,760 --> 00:51:32,120 Speaker 1: do this, and you should do this, and you should 976 00:51:32,160 --> 00:51:34,480 Speaker 1: launch that. And like you said, you get confused. You 977 00:51:34,520 --> 00:51:35,960 Speaker 1: don't know which way to turn. And so when I 978 00:51:36,040 --> 00:51:39,319 Speaker 1: shut all that out and I went inward and found this, 979 00:51:39,480 --> 00:51:43,200 Speaker 1: I could see very clearly at times like I helped 980 00:51:43,280 --> 00:51:47,839 Speaker 1: black women find freedom through breathing their natural hair, and 981 00:51:47,920 --> 00:51:51,919 Speaker 1: now I helped myself find like a deeper, more real, 982 00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:56,120 Speaker 1: more full freedom through finding this light that we all have. 983 00:51:56,640 --> 00:51:58,480 Speaker 1: No matter who you are, you can have it. If 984 00:51:58,480 --> 00:52:00,759 Speaker 1: you're sitting in it, you're sitting at it. And now 985 00:52:00,800 --> 00:52:03,960 Speaker 1: I want to help people move into that freedom. And 986 00:52:04,160 --> 00:52:07,000 Speaker 1: it's the only button I have, one switch, no matter 987 00:52:07,120 --> 00:52:09,080 Speaker 1: what I'm interviewed about. I was being interviewed by like 988 00:52:09,120 --> 00:52:12,719 Speaker 1: team boats about hair and skin and immediately turned it 989 00:52:12,800 --> 00:52:14,880 Speaker 1: turned to this. This is the only switch. I can 990 00:52:14,920 --> 00:52:17,520 Speaker 1: talk about it till I'm doing the face. I'm here 991 00:52:18,160 --> 00:52:21,759 Speaker 1: on this earth at this time to present this message 992 00:52:21,840 --> 00:52:24,600 Speaker 1: of self, love and self with the capital S not 993 00:52:25,320 --> 00:52:29,600 Speaker 1: just you're human, buts this presence that's beyond your love 994 00:52:29,640 --> 00:52:33,040 Speaker 1: it love it Now. I would get phone calls, you know, 995 00:52:33,080 --> 00:52:35,799 Speaker 1: we shine, you know what. All these women showed up. 996 00:52:35,840 --> 00:52:38,000 Speaker 1: They showed up and they're sitting on pillows and they 997 00:52:38,320 --> 00:52:41,640 Speaker 1: want to hit me, speak and relax. We shine, you know. 998 00:52:42,560 --> 00:52:44,920 Speaker 1: And but but that was that journey, you know, you 999 00:52:44,960 --> 00:52:47,399 Speaker 1: know maybe the last time I saw you. But we've 1000 00:52:47,400 --> 00:52:51,440 Speaker 1: been talking and that's all you're talking about it and 1001 00:52:52,440 --> 00:52:54,920 Speaker 1: absolutely and you've seen you just wanted to go up 1002 00:52:54,960 --> 00:52:57,080 Speaker 1: to New York and he was working at some storyline 1003 00:52:57,120 --> 00:52:59,879 Speaker 1: with Dr Oz TV show What can we do with that? 1004 00:53:00,280 --> 00:53:02,480 Speaker 1: But I always felt that in Tracey would go traces 1005 00:53:02,520 --> 00:53:06,200 Speaker 1: about producer for thirty fift media ink. And so she 1006 00:53:06,239 --> 00:53:08,080 Speaker 1: would go and go, wis what we're gonna do? I said, 1007 00:53:08,080 --> 00:53:10,200 Speaker 1: I don't know if she knows who she is? I say, 1008 00:53:10,280 --> 00:53:12,400 Speaker 1: I said, I don't. I don't get her. And I 1009 00:53:12,440 --> 00:53:14,960 Speaker 1: would tell her in trade to go you'll get her. No, 1010 00:53:15,360 --> 00:53:19,200 Speaker 1: I don't get her, Okay, because there has been a 1011 00:53:19,200 --> 00:53:23,120 Speaker 1: certain degree of clarity. And now I get you now 1012 00:53:23,320 --> 00:53:28,560 Speaker 1: because I understand there's some because sometimes, yeah, just be honest. 1013 00:53:28,760 --> 00:53:30,640 Speaker 1: A lot of times in your life, even though I 1014 00:53:30,640 --> 00:53:32,239 Speaker 1: was talking to you, I felt like somebody else was 1015 00:53:32,320 --> 00:53:35,680 Speaker 1: talking through you, Okay, And now when I'm talking to you, 1016 00:53:35,760 --> 00:53:37,680 Speaker 1: I feel like I'm talking to the person that's making 1017 00:53:37,719 --> 00:53:40,720 Speaker 1: the decisions about what you want to be, not because 1018 00:53:41,120 --> 00:53:44,360 Speaker 1: it's an opportunity, it's what you want to do that 1019 00:53:44,520 --> 00:53:46,920 Speaker 1: it's what I'm here to do. And I took that 1020 00:53:46,960 --> 00:53:51,279 Speaker 1: advice you gave me back, like you are amazing, You 1021 00:53:51,400 --> 00:53:54,520 Speaker 1: will be successful. You have to get clarity. I can't 1022 00:53:54,560 --> 00:53:58,000 Speaker 1: help you be successful in spirituality until you make some 1023 00:53:58,080 --> 00:54:00,600 Speaker 1: moves and spirituality and to step out very start sharing 1024 00:54:00,600 --> 00:54:03,440 Speaker 1: your message and stop being scared basically. And so I 1025 00:54:03,480 --> 00:54:06,080 Speaker 1: took that medicine and started just kind of dipping my 1026 00:54:06,120 --> 00:54:08,760 Speaker 1: toe and you know, and easing in there and I've 1027 00:54:08,800 --> 00:54:13,760 Speaker 1: reached back out after I had jumped in and found 1028 00:54:13,880 --> 00:54:17,360 Speaker 1: my I found my voice. Come on, now, Good Mornings 1029 00:54:18,080 --> 00:54:23,840 Speaker 1: were Curly Nikki. Come on now, natural hair, spirituality, found yourself. 1030 00:54:24,239 --> 00:54:27,600 Speaker 1: Been stepped on a little bit emotionally, been been ran over, 1031 00:54:27,640 --> 00:54:30,280 Speaker 1: like we're supposed to get run over. I've been run over. Okay, 1032 00:54:30,480 --> 00:54:32,640 Speaker 1: we go into this. It's like when you get ran over, 1033 00:54:32,680 --> 00:54:34,359 Speaker 1: when you get beat up a little bit, you know, 1034 00:54:34,560 --> 00:54:38,280 Speaker 1: like it brings you more clarity. And so I'm radically 1035 00:54:38,280 --> 00:54:41,319 Speaker 1: grateful for the lessons, you know, in these last ten 1036 00:54:41,400 --> 00:54:44,080 Speaker 1: years to just bring me closer to myself. So I 1037 00:54:44,200 --> 00:54:46,840 Speaker 1: need nothing but this love. So tell us about this 1038 00:54:46,920 --> 00:54:50,680 Speaker 1: amazing podcast. It was so fantastic on Apple Podcast. Now 1039 00:54:50,760 --> 00:54:54,000 Speaker 1: I'm just telling the worst spirituality. Kind of scared some people. 1040 00:54:54,000 --> 00:54:56,000 Speaker 1: Are she gonna be preachy to me? I don't know 1041 00:54:56,080 --> 00:54:58,560 Speaker 1: the Bible that well, oh my god, I don't even 1042 00:54:58,600 --> 00:55:01,520 Speaker 1: go to church. What is you're doing? She's Curly NICKI 1043 00:55:01,840 --> 00:55:04,400 Speaker 1: I got straight air. Can I listen to her? I do? 1044 00:55:04,560 --> 00:55:07,279 Speaker 1: I got priv Can I listened to her? Tell us 1045 00:55:07,320 --> 00:55:10,759 Speaker 1: about what you're Good Mornings with Curly nick is all 1046 00:55:10,800 --> 00:55:14,160 Speaker 1: about and it's welcome to all people. Yes, welcome to everyone. 1047 00:55:14,239 --> 00:55:19,879 Speaker 1: So in twenty in November, something different because I wanted 1048 00:55:19,920 --> 00:55:21,960 Speaker 1: to see something different. So I started waking up and 1049 00:55:21,960 --> 00:55:23,719 Speaker 1: actually getting out of the bed at five o'clock in 1050 00:55:23,719 --> 00:55:26,200 Speaker 1: the morning. And I've done that every day since November. 1051 00:55:27,480 --> 00:55:31,120 Speaker 1: I meditate, journal, do my yoga all before the kids 1052 00:55:31,120 --> 00:55:33,200 Speaker 1: got up calling my name or I had to be 1053 00:55:33,239 --> 00:55:35,600 Speaker 1: curly Nikki, or I needed to be a daughter or sister. 1054 00:55:35,680 --> 00:55:39,080 Speaker 1: I could just beat during those two hours and during 1055 00:55:39,160 --> 00:55:42,480 Speaker 1: that time, Like somewhere in the last few months, this idea, 1056 00:55:42,800 --> 00:55:47,280 Speaker 1: this clarity came that you know, I share on Instagram 1057 00:55:47,320 --> 00:55:50,280 Speaker 1: every day, but it's words I write. I type many 1058 00:55:50,320 --> 00:55:52,440 Speaker 1: many words using that platform in a way. It's not 1059 00:55:52,480 --> 00:55:55,160 Speaker 1: intim it's used. And I'm like, maybe with all these 1060 00:55:55,239 --> 00:55:58,120 Speaker 1: d ms I'm getting from women and men from all 1061 00:55:58,160 --> 00:56:01,000 Speaker 1: over the world, you know, like my demographic is just 1062 00:56:01,040 --> 00:56:04,759 Speaker 1: expanding and expanding, I'm like, maybe there's another platform that 1063 00:56:04,840 --> 00:56:07,520 Speaker 1: I can answer these questions, you know, because I'm only 1064 00:56:07,560 --> 00:56:10,840 Speaker 1: one person. Because it was getting overwhelming, and so I thought, 1065 00:56:11,920 --> 00:56:14,600 Speaker 1: I set this intention to get up before the sun 1066 00:56:15,040 --> 00:56:17,320 Speaker 1: every morning, and it's changed my life. And I'm not 1067 00:56:17,320 --> 00:56:19,200 Speaker 1: gonna tell people they have to get up before the sun. 1068 00:56:19,400 --> 00:56:20,680 Speaker 1: But I am going to tell them they need to 1069 00:56:20,760 --> 00:56:23,879 Speaker 1: set an intention by getting quiet and spending time with 1070 00:56:24,200 --> 00:56:26,239 Speaker 1: You can call it God, you can call it love, 1071 00:56:26,320 --> 00:56:28,480 Speaker 1: you can call it the I Am. It doesn't need 1072 00:56:28,480 --> 00:56:31,320 Speaker 1: a name because it existed before language did. So whatever 1073 00:56:31,400 --> 00:56:34,760 Speaker 1: you wanna call it source the universe. That we're gonna 1074 00:56:34,760 --> 00:56:37,360 Speaker 1: sit with that every morning for just five to two minutes, 1075 00:56:37,760 --> 00:56:40,920 Speaker 1: and then you go into the day. Like you said, leading, 1076 00:56:41,200 --> 00:56:44,960 Speaker 1: you know, with your your success or leading with your passions. 1077 00:56:45,000 --> 00:56:47,879 Speaker 1: They're gonna lead with their love. With this light. They're 1078 00:56:47,880 --> 00:56:50,879 Speaker 1: gonna go out into the world as light as love, 1079 00:56:51,040 --> 00:56:53,960 Speaker 1: and it changes their lives and the lives of the 1080 00:56:54,040 --> 00:56:57,600 Speaker 1: people that they bumped into along the way. And the 1081 00:56:57,680 --> 00:57:01,440 Speaker 1: feedback has been tremendous. You know, it's all already grown greatly, 1082 00:57:01,560 --> 00:57:04,200 Speaker 1: just like it's only this is moving into week two, 1083 00:57:04,640 --> 00:57:07,839 Speaker 1: and it's amazing like word of mouth, you know, because 1084 00:57:07,880 --> 00:57:12,359 Speaker 1: it's not preaching. It's an easy it's a it's a reminding. 1085 00:57:12,640 --> 00:57:15,719 Speaker 1: So you already know this. Whoever you are listening to me, 1086 00:57:15,800 --> 00:57:19,640 Speaker 1: you already know that you feel stuck and you feel unhappy, 1087 00:57:19,680 --> 00:57:22,680 Speaker 1: even if you appear to be happy. Something's not quite right, 1088 00:57:22,880 --> 00:57:24,640 Speaker 1: and you know it's not quite right, and you're like, 1089 00:57:24,680 --> 00:57:26,560 Speaker 1: this can't be. Like I'm living the same day over 1090 00:57:26,600 --> 00:57:29,880 Speaker 1: and over again. It sucks. That's how everyone feels until 1091 00:57:29,920 --> 00:57:32,800 Speaker 1: they find this. And once you have this, everything else 1092 00:57:32,800 --> 00:57:36,240 Speaker 1: starts to work. You know, Good Mornings with Curly Nikki 1093 00:57:36,440 --> 00:57:39,000 Speaker 1: is the podcast, the fair popular podcast that you can 1094 00:57:39,080 --> 00:57:43,080 Speaker 1: find on Apple Podcasts, which you know, always tell if 1095 00:57:43,120 --> 00:57:46,080 Speaker 1: you if you're not on Apple, well yet, okay, exactly, 1096 00:57:46,960 --> 00:57:48,760 Speaker 1: you know, the Apple is the place to be. I'm 1097 00:57:48,760 --> 00:57:52,000 Speaker 1: on Apple podcast and so but when I look at 1098 00:57:52,000 --> 00:57:54,400 Speaker 1: different lanes, this is different line. Your lane is different, 1099 00:57:54,400 --> 00:57:56,800 Speaker 1: my lane, my money making conversation. I'm trying to motivate 1100 00:57:56,840 --> 00:58:00,760 Speaker 1: people through entrepreneurship. You're trying to motivate people through futuality, 1101 00:58:00,800 --> 00:58:04,320 Speaker 1: which would in some ways slide into people who want 1102 00:58:04,360 --> 00:58:06,680 Speaker 1: to be entrepreneurs, people who want to find the right 1103 00:58:06,720 --> 00:58:08,600 Speaker 1: person in your life, people who want to graduate from 1104 00:58:08,680 --> 00:58:10,840 Speaker 1: high school, people want to graduate from college, people want 1105 00:58:10,880 --> 00:58:12,720 Speaker 1: to meet the right person in their life. People want 1106 00:58:12,720 --> 00:58:14,560 Speaker 1: to be able to get along with their kids. It 1107 00:58:14,720 --> 00:58:19,560 Speaker 1: is such a huge bandwidth of opportunity for you, because 1108 00:58:19,600 --> 00:58:24,120 Speaker 1: mine is really a niche. Your is You're covering all 1109 00:58:24,160 --> 00:58:27,400 Speaker 1: these bases. How confidence do you feel you'll be able 1110 00:58:27,400 --> 00:58:30,880 Speaker 1: to cover all these bases, Nikki Walton, Because I know 1111 00:58:31,000 --> 00:58:35,160 Speaker 1: that there is only this one presence, this one love, 1112 00:58:35,520 --> 00:58:38,040 Speaker 1: and it is the essence of everything. So it is 1113 00:58:38,080 --> 00:58:40,640 Speaker 1: the essence of your health, it's the essence of your wealth, 1114 00:58:40,920 --> 00:58:42,680 Speaker 1: you know. And so if you can get into touch 1115 00:58:42,760 --> 00:58:46,960 Speaker 1: with this and practice it, meaning keeping some attention on it, 1116 00:58:47,440 --> 00:58:49,880 Speaker 1: you have your thoughts, but right now to see your thoughts, 1117 00:58:49,920 --> 00:58:52,000 Speaker 1: there's a place inside where you don't have to quiet 1118 00:58:52,000 --> 00:58:54,720 Speaker 1: your thoughts. There's a place inside that's already quiet. There's 1119 00:58:54,720 --> 00:58:57,240 Speaker 1: a place inside that's already relaxed with the place inside 1120 00:58:57,240 --> 00:58:59,960 Speaker 1: that's already meditating. So if you can get into that place, 1121 00:59:00,560 --> 00:59:03,080 Speaker 1: then all of those other areas work. And it's just 1122 00:59:03,560 --> 00:59:06,920 Speaker 1: that's just what it is. It's like law, and it 1123 00:59:07,000 --> 00:59:09,520 Speaker 1: works beautifully. And I've seen it happen in thousands of 1124 00:59:09,520 --> 00:59:12,400 Speaker 1: women's lives that I've worked with. In my life, I'm living, 1125 00:59:13,000 --> 00:59:15,600 Speaker 1: absolutely living my whole life change, you know, in a 1126 00:59:15,640 --> 00:59:17,640 Speaker 1: matter of like three or four years, from the inside out. 1127 00:59:17,680 --> 00:59:20,720 Speaker 1: After finding this and then practicing it every day and 1128 00:59:20,880 --> 00:59:24,560 Speaker 1: every moment. She's a nominated author. I first met her 1129 00:59:24,600 --> 00:59:27,080 Speaker 1: on the first book at HarperCollins and the twenty thirteam 1130 00:59:27,160 --> 00:59:29,840 Speaker 1: Better than the Good Hair and the second hair was 1131 00:59:30,040 --> 00:59:34,560 Speaker 1: when Good Hair Goes Bad and now Good Mornings with 1132 00:59:34,640 --> 00:59:37,560 Speaker 1: Curly Nikki. Curli Nikki dot com is a website where 1133 00:59:38,000 --> 00:59:40,920 Speaker 1: it's worldwide or with thirty countries, millions of people are 1134 00:59:40,960 --> 00:59:43,960 Speaker 1: traffic is amazing. She has a total ownership of curly 1135 00:59:44,000 --> 00:59:46,480 Speaker 1: Nikki dot com. Now. One of the changes that she's 1136 00:59:46,520 --> 00:59:50,200 Speaker 1: promoting the ownership and controlling your voice. She's not jumping 1137 00:59:50,200 --> 00:59:52,120 Speaker 1: on the outside trying to get in. She is in 1138 00:59:52,520 --> 00:59:55,560 Speaker 1: and when she's inside, she's changing lives and welcome to 1139 00:59:55,600 --> 00:59:58,040 Speaker 1: the world of being who you are. Because we need 1140 00:59:58,080 --> 01:00:01,280 Speaker 1: a responsible individual will respond so before us being able 1141 01:00:01,320 --> 01:00:03,800 Speaker 1: to show us to light. Thank you Curly Nikki for 1142 01:00:03,880 --> 01:00:08,120 Speaker 1: coming on money making conversations. Thank you. We will be 1143 01:00:08,200 --> 01:00:11,320 Speaker 1: right back with more money making conversations with your host 1144 01:00:11,440 --> 01:00:16,080 Speaker 1: or Sean McDonald. Every year, compliance regulations change thousands of times, 1145 01:00:16,200 --> 01:00:19,760 Speaker 1: and every year ADP makes thousands of seamless platform updates 1146 01:00:19,800 --> 01:00:22,840 Speaker 1: so businesses can focus on everything else like running their 1147 01:00:22,920 --> 01:00:27,160 Speaker 1: business grow stronger with ADP HR talent, time and payroll. 1148 01:00:28,000 --> 01:00:30,400 Speaker 1: Hi everyone, i'l roker here as a guy with his 1149 01:00:30,440 --> 01:00:34,320 Speaker 1: own catchphrase. I appreciate that Smokey's only said only you 1150 01:00:34,360 --> 01:00:37,720 Speaker 1: can prevent wildfires, but I'm filling in because there's a 1151 01:00:37,800 --> 01:00:40,800 Speaker 1: lot more to report, like when they're parched or windy 1152 01:00:40,840 --> 01:00:43,960 Speaker 1: conditions out there. You've gotta be extra careful with things 1153 01:00:44,000 --> 01:00:48,440 Speaker 1: like burning yard waist. After all, wildfires can start anywhere, 1154 01:00:48,600 --> 01:00:51,000 Speaker 1: even in your neck of the woods. Go to Smokey 1155 01:00:51,000 --> 01:00:54,360 Speaker 1: Bear dot com to learn more about wildfire prevention brought 1156 01:00:54,360 --> 01:00:56,720 Speaker 1: to you by the U. S. Forest Service, your state Forrester, 1157 01:00:56,920 --> 01:01:00,080 Speaker 1: and the AD Council. And we're live here out i 1158 01:01:00,280 --> 01:01:03,520 Speaker 1: the Perez family home, just waiting for the and there 1159 01:01:03,560 --> 01:01:06,600 Speaker 1: they go, almost on time. This morning. Mom is coming 1160 01:01:06,600 --> 01:01:09,400 Speaker 1: out the front door, strong with a double arm kid carry. 1161 01:01:09,480 --> 01:01:12,200 Speaker 1: Looks like Dad has the bags. Daughter is bringing up 1162 01:01:12,240 --> 01:01:16,560 Speaker 1: the rear. Oh but the diaper bag wasn't closed. Diapers 1163 01:01:16,600 --> 01:01:21,400 Speaker 1: and toys are everywhere. Oh but mom has just nailed 1164 01:01:21,440 --> 01:01:24,680 Speaker 1: the perfect car seat buckle for the toddler. And now 1165 01:01:24,800 --> 01:01:27,240 Speaker 1: the eldest daughter, who looks to be about nine or ten, 1166 01:01:27,480 --> 01:01:30,120 Speaker 1: has secured herself in the booster seat. Dad SIPs the 1167 01:01:30,160 --> 01:01:34,000 Speaker 1: bag clothes and they're off. Ah, but looks like Mom 1168 01:01:34,040 --> 01:01:36,360 Speaker 1: doesn't realize her coffee cup is still on the roof 1169 01:01:36,400 --> 01:01:40,640 Speaker 1: of the car and there it goes. Ah, that's a 1170 01:01:40,680 --> 01:01:43,560 Speaker 1: shame that mug was a fan favorite. Don't sweat the 1171 01:01:43,600 --> 01:01:46,160 Speaker 1: small stuff, just nailed the big stuff, like making sure 1172 01:01:46,200 --> 01:01:47,920 Speaker 1: your kids are buckled correctly in the right seat for 1173 01:01:47,960 --> 01:01:50,080 Speaker 1: their agent's eyes. Learn more n h t s A 1174 01:01:50,200 --> 01:01:53,360 Speaker 1: dot gov slash the Right Seat visits h s A 1175 01:01:53,760 --> 01:01:56,760 Speaker 1: dot Gov Slash the Right Seat, brought to you by 1176 01:01:56,800 --> 01:02:01,280 Speaker 1: Mitza and the ad Council are now tuned into the 1177 01:02:01,320 --> 01:02:05,800 Speaker 1: money making conversations. Minute of Inspiration with Rushan McDonald Lamar 1178 01:02:05,880 --> 01:02:08,760 Speaker 1: Rucker beginning his career on daytime soap operas As the 1179 01:02:08,800 --> 01:02:12,360 Speaker 1: World Turned and All My Children Lament discovered when COVID 1180 01:02:12,440 --> 01:02:16,240 Speaker 1: nineteen hit, it changed the game in television production. You know, 1181 01:02:16,360 --> 01:02:19,280 Speaker 1: everything now is being so condensed, wanting because you are 1182 01:02:19,320 --> 01:02:22,240 Speaker 1: also trying to not only minimize costs, but minimize this 1183 01:02:22,680 --> 01:02:25,760 Speaker 1: leaves exposure, risks and all that. So you're literally working 1184 01:02:25,840 --> 01:02:29,480 Speaker 1: virtually every day for a month, one day off every 1185 01:02:29,520 --> 01:02:32,440 Speaker 1: six you know, seven days or something like that. The 1186 01:02:32,520 --> 01:02:34,440 Speaker 1: hours are crazy, so you've got to take care of 1187 01:02:34,480 --> 01:02:38,240 Speaker 1: your body and be careful about being fatigued and make 1188 01:02:38,240 --> 01:02:41,120 Speaker 1: sure you're getting the proper rest and recovery and nutrition. 1189 01:02:41,440 --> 01:02:44,600 Speaker 1: I have COVID compliance officers on set. You know, again, 1190 01:02:44,680 --> 01:02:48,040 Speaker 1: we get tested on a regular basis. I think that 1191 01:02:48,200 --> 01:02:50,200 Speaker 1: people are doing the best they can because again, they 1192 01:02:50,200 --> 01:02:52,000 Speaker 1: also don't want to get shut down. If you want 1193 01:02:52,000 --> 01:02:54,640 Speaker 1: to hear this full interview with Laman Rocket, visit money 1194 01:02:54,680 --> 01:02:59,560 Speaker 1: Maker Conversation dot com. Keep winning. Welcome back to Money 1195 01:02:59,600 --> 01:03:04,200 Speaker 1: Making Conversations with your host, Rashan McDonald. My next guest 1196 01:03:04,240 --> 01:03:08,080 Speaker 1: is Dr Katrinel Davis. She's an Associate professor of sociology 1197 01:03:08,160 --> 01:03:12,120 Speaker 1: and African American Studies at Florida State University. She's a 1198 01:03:12,160 --> 01:03:15,120 Speaker 1: social change scholar inspired by the struggles of working class 1199 01:03:15,120 --> 01:03:18,480 Speaker 1: people in the urban areas who contend with extraordinary socio 1200 01:03:18,600 --> 01:03:22,680 Speaker 1: economic constraints despite their best efforts, basically trying to get 1201 01:03:22,680 --> 01:03:24,920 Speaker 1: out of the hood and nobody's trying to help. Through 1202 01:03:24,920 --> 01:03:28,280 Speaker 1: a teaching in scholarship, Davis explores how racial, gender, and 1203 01:03:28,320 --> 01:03:32,960 Speaker 1: class biases, as well as institutional constraint, shaped Black neighborhoods 1204 01:03:33,000 --> 01:03:37,840 Speaker 1: their resources, and how social groups navigating through these existing hurdles, 1205 01:03:37,880 --> 01:03:41,440 Speaker 1: which leads us to Dr Davis's latest book, Tainting Tainted 1206 01:03:41,560 --> 01:03:46,360 Speaker 1: Tap Flinch Journey from Crisis to recovery again Tint Taint 1207 01:03:46,920 --> 01:03:51,400 Speaker 1: Proof Tainted Tap Flints Journey from Crisis to Recovery, focused 1208 01:03:51,400 --> 01:03:54,240 Speaker 1: on the origin and health consequences of the water crisis 1209 01:03:54,240 --> 01:03:56,880 Speaker 1: in Flint, Michigan, by the way, where she was born. 1210 01:03:57,320 --> 01:04:00,640 Speaker 1: Please work with the money making conversations, Dr Katrina Davis. 1211 01:04:00,800 --> 01:04:04,480 Speaker 1: How you doing, doctor, I am doing great. Thanks for 1212 01:04:04,520 --> 01:04:07,160 Speaker 1: having me or then getting tongue tied on the tile 1213 01:04:07,200 --> 01:04:11,520 Speaker 1: of your book, Flints Journey from Crisis to recovery. Now 1214 01:04:11,840 --> 01:04:16,400 Speaker 1: when I see that, has that been a recovery? Well, 1215 01:04:16,440 --> 01:04:19,440 Speaker 1: they're in the process of recovery, but Flint has not 1216 01:04:19,520 --> 01:04:23,040 Speaker 1: recovered from the water crisis. And the water crisis, as 1217 01:04:23,040 --> 01:04:25,600 Speaker 1: we can say, is one giant cover up. Can I 1218 01:04:25,640 --> 01:04:30,520 Speaker 1: say that? I love that. Let's talk about that cover up. Absolutely, 1219 01:04:30,560 --> 01:04:32,400 Speaker 1: Let's let's call it a cover up, because that's what 1220 01:04:32,440 --> 01:04:35,080 Speaker 1: it is. Absolutely, And so because a lot of people 1221 01:04:35,160 --> 01:04:36,840 Speaker 1: knew it before the people were drinking the water, like 1222 01:04:38,240 --> 01:04:42,240 Speaker 1: when I think General Mojors stopped accepting water, okay from 1223 01:04:42,280 --> 01:04:46,840 Speaker 1: Flint so and then the local city hall started getting 1224 01:04:47,400 --> 01:04:51,800 Speaker 1: water delivered to them, and it wasn't until January where 1225 01:04:51,880 --> 01:04:54,880 Speaker 1: in your book that it was acknowledged that there's a 1226 01:04:54,920 --> 01:04:57,800 Speaker 1: problem with the water and the public was being notified 1227 01:04:57,840 --> 01:05:01,880 Speaker 1: about it. Talk about, let's start there when when I 1228 01:05:01,880 --> 01:05:03,520 Speaker 1: have to say it's a cover up, when the when 1229 01:05:03,520 --> 01:05:05,880 Speaker 1: the business world is aware, because they cover in their 1230 01:05:05,920 --> 01:05:08,720 Speaker 1: basis so they won't get sued. Okay, that's why they 1231 01:05:08,720 --> 01:05:12,200 Speaker 1: stopped accepting water, but the general public and then and 1232 01:05:12,240 --> 01:05:14,480 Speaker 1: then when they stopped accepting it, they didn't tell their 1233 01:05:14,480 --> 01:05:17,360 Speaker 1: employees where the water was coming from. So that's when 1234 01:05:17,400 --> 01:05:20,120 Speaker 1: you start using word cover up. And I use it 1235 01:05:20,120 --> 01:05:22,520 Speaker 1: in the professional manner because I do. In other words, 1236 01:05:22,560 --> 01:05:24,480 Speaker 1: you can use if you if you know some information 1237 01:05:24,520 --> 01:05:27,000 Speaker 1: that I need to know that's going to affect my life, 1238 01:05:27,400 --> 01:05:30,720 Speaker 1: but you refuse or failed to tell me, that's a 1239 01:05:30,760 --> 01:05:33,959 Speaker 1: cover So you were born in Flint, You're a person 1240 01:05:34,000 --> 01:05:37,680 Speaker 1: who's seen this neighborhood transition. You talk about how all 1241 01:05:37,720 --> 01:05:43,280 Speaker 1: the all the because in seventeen it was recognized that Flint, Michigan, 1242 01:05:43,360 --> 01:05:47,200 Speaker 1: was the poorest city in the United States. That's your 1243 01:05:47,240 --> 01:05:52,320 Speaker 1: story in the book basically starts in correct. Well, the story, 1244 01:05:52,440 --> 01:05:56,400 Speaker 1: the main story about the crisis starts in UM two 1245 01:05:56,400 --> 01:05:59,480 Speaker 1: thousand and fifteen. But the story about what's happened to 1246 01:05:59,520 --> 01:06:03,520 Speaker 1: Flint actually began in the nineteen sixties, because I think 1247 01:06:03,560 --> 01:06:06,760 Speaker 1: it's important for us to understand that this whole the 1248 01:06:06,800 --> 01:06:11,800 Speaker 1: struggle that that flipped faced during this crisis, UM is 1249 01:06:11,800 --> 01:06:14,120 Speaker 1: a struggle that has a lot to do with this 1250 01:06:14,280 --> 01:06:18,560 Speaker 1: history of uneven development, this whole idea of we're gonna 1251 01:06:18,920 --> 01:06:22,479 Speaker 1: pour money into the downtown areas, but let the the 1252 01:06:22,560 --> 01:06:25,840 Speaker 1: north side of the of the city struggle and suffer 1253 01:06:26,440 --> 01:06:32,400 Speaker 1: from decay um uh, no maintenance, et cetera. And so yeah, 1254 01:06:32,480 --> 01:06:36,240 Speaker 1: this cover up UH, or the part of the cover 1255 01:06:36,360 --> 01:06:39,640 Speaker 1: up that we're very familiar with, starts somewhere in two 1256 01:06:39,680 --> 01:06:42,240 Speaker 1: thousand and fifteen. But I would say it starts a 1257 01:06:42,240 --> 01:06:45,560 Speaker 1: bit earlier than that, because what's what the public that 1258 01:06:45,800 --> 01:06:49,200 Speaker 1: know about the crisis is that the State of Michigan 1259 01:06:49,560 --> 01:06:55,680 Speaker 1: had it effectively uh disinvested from its water protection protocols 1260 01:06:56,240 --> 01:06:58,960 Speaker 1: UH somewhere around two thousand and six two thousand seven. 1261 01:06:59,520 --> 01:07:02,080 Speaker 1: So even if it was even if the e p 1262 01:07:02,200 --> 01:07:04,840 Speaker 1: A and the state was doing what it was supposed 1263 01:07:04,880 --> 01:07:09,960 Speaker 1: to do UM around two thousand and fifteen or in 1264 01:07:09,960 --> 01:07:15,040 Speaker 1: in position to do to respond to residents concerns, UM, 1265 01:07:15,120 --> 01:07:17,400 Speaker 1: we would have seen a better response had they been 1266 01:07:17,520 --> 01:07:19,959 Speaker 1: positioned to do the things that they were supposed to do. 1267 01:07:20,120 --> 01:07:23,080 Speaker 1: Have they've been agencies working like they're supposed to work, 1268 01:07:23,200 --> 01:07:26,320 Speaker 1: but they weren't. And so we're talking about a cover up, 1269 01:07:26,520 --> 01:07:30,160 Speaker 1: and we're also talking about years of benign neglect. Dr 1270 01:07:30,200 --> 01:07:33,800 Speaker 1: Catrio Davis, you know when you say we say it 1271 01:07:33,840 --> 01:07:36,760 Speaker 1: happened earlier. I will show you an example of recently 1272 01:07:37,360 --> 01:07:40,560 Speaker 1: that how the called the state can change the rules 1273 01:07:40,600 --> 01:07:42,760 Speaker 1: on you don't tell you they've changed the rules, but 1274 01:07:42,920 --> 01:07:47,080 Speaker 1: in fact and in fact impacts low income people the worst. 1275 01:07:47,840 --> 01:07:51,160 Speaker 1: The state of Texas just recently when they had the 1276 01:07:51,200 --> 01:07:55,120 Speaker 1: big freeze because they had changed the way the building 1277 01:07:55,160 --> 01:07:57,240 Speaker 1: system went down and changed the way the grid was 1278 01:07:57,320 --> 01:07:59,960 Speaker 1: being allocated, and so the state of Texas was shut 1279 01:08:00,080 --> 01:08:02,840 Speaker 1: down doing the freeze, and so that would no one 1280 01:08:02,880 --> 01:08:05,520 Speaker 1: would never have known that if the freeze didn't come along. 1281 01:08:05,960 --> 01:08:09,160 Speaker 1: And so people were being built differently. People were suddenly 1282 01:08:09,200 --> 01:08:11,600 Speaker 1: getting two thousand dollar bills when they were previously getting 1283 01:08:11,960 --> 01:08:14,560 Speaker 1: the normal maybe a hundred dollar bill. The bills were 1284 01:08:14,560 --> 01:08:17,600 Speaker 1: tied to their bank accounts, so the money was automatically 1285 01:08:17,600 --> 01:08:20,559 Speaker 1: be pulled out of their bank account where they had 1286 01:08:20,560 --> 01:08:23,320 Speaker 1: the money or not. And so these are situations where 1287 01:08:23,360 --> 01:08:26,240 Speaker 1: you're saying, like you said, in the social makeup of 1288 01:08:26,280 --> 01:08:30,000 Speaker 1: the world, their decisions being made, they're not they're not 1289 01:08:30,080 --> 01:08:33,120 Speaker 1: acknowledged that they are major decisions. They're might not acknowledge 1290 01:08:33,120 --> 01:08:35,759 Speaker 1: that their big decisions. But in the end, the person 1291 01:08:35,800 --> 01:08:39,520 Speaker 1: who gets affected the most is the person who has less. 1292 01:08:39,640 --> 01:08:43,160 Speaker 1: And that's what your book is about. Absolutely. I think 1293 01:08:43,200 --> 01:08:47,920 Speaker 1: so so often we pay attention to the absence of 1294 01:08:48,320 --> 01:08:52,719 Speaker 1: overt racism. Uh. We say, no one's burning crosses, um, 1295 01:08:52,800 --> 01:08:54,840 Speaker 1: no one called me out of my name, no one 1296 01:08:54,920 --> 01:08:57,479 Speaker 1: pulled me off of a counter, you know, at a 1297 01:08:57,479 --> 01:09:00,799 Speaker 1: at a or lunch counter because it's I'm not supposed 1298 01:09:00,840 --> 01:09:03,799 Speaker 1: to be there, right. But what we don't pay attention 1299 01:09:03,840 --> 01:09:07,880 Speaker 1: to is the this. The this is in the disrespect 1300 01:09:09,120 --> 01:09:13,360 Speaker 1: that poor people encounter on the daily because there are 1301 01:09:13,439 --> 01:09:17,440 Speaker 1: things in their environment that just aren't right. They're being shorted, 1302 01:09:17,960 --> 01:09:23,280 Speaker 1: um when with regard to educational services, they're being shorted 1303 01:09:23,280 --> 01:09:27,519 Speaker 1: with regard to environmental protections, being shorted with regard to 1304 01:09:27,720 --> 01:09:32,519 Speaker 1: police protection, fire protection, um, left and right. And this 1305 01:09:32,560 --> 01:09:35,040 Speaker 1: is again, we don't pay attention to these things because 1306 01:09:35,360 --> 01:09:37,479 Speaker 1: we spend so much time talking about whether or not 1307 01:09:37,520 --> 01:09:40,639 Speaker 1: we're dealing with overt racism, whether or not somebody's playing 1308 01:09:40,760 --> 01:09:44,240 Speaker 1: us right. But what we need to be paying attention 1309 01:09:44,280 --> 01:09:47,320 Speaker 1: to is what institutions are doing well. You know, here's 1310 01:09:47,360 --> 01:09:50,120 Speaker 1: let's let's slow down my my relationship with you and 1311 01:09:50,240 --> 01:09:55,200 Speaker 1: regards to sociology. My degrees in mathematics. Dr Davis, You're 1312 01:09:55,200 --> 01:09:58,320 Speaker 1: associate professor of sociology and African American Studies at Florida 1313 01:09:58,400 --> 01:10:03,160 Speaker 1: State University in Tallahassan, or Um. I was rolling through 1314 01:10:03,160 --> 01:10:06,879 Speaker 1: college doing good, and then I took a sociology class, 1315 01:10:07,600 --> 01:10:12,479 Speaker 1: and I realized that I was being uneducated. I was 1316 01:10:12,520 --> 01:10:16,120 Speaker 1: not being educated properly about this country's history, especially when 1317 01:10:16,120 --> 01:10:20,160 Speaker 1: it came to African Americans, or what my people had accomplished, 1318 01:10:20,320 --> 01:10:23,160 Speaker 1: or why our racism in general, or how it is 1319 01:10:23,280 --> 01:10:26,320 Speaker 1: being treated. Basically, I would tell people, when you look 1320 01:10:26,360 --> 01:10:29,599 Speaker 1: at the life of a black people in history books 1321 01:10:29,600 --> 01:10:31,960 Speaker 1: that they teach you, you know, they brought us over 1322 01:10:32,200 --> 01:10:35,720 Speaker 1: through slavery, they freed us, and then they then they 1323 01:10:35,720 --> 01:10:39,719 Speaker 1: don't say anything about the World War One participation, World 1324 01:10:39,720 --> 01:10:42,120 Speaker 1: War two participation. Then you go to Brown Versus Board 1325 01:10:42,120 --> 01:10:45,439 Speaker 1: of Education, then you hear about the Martin Luther King speech. 1326 01:10:45,760 --> 01:10:48,559 Speaker 1: You kind of talk about the civil rights speech. Then 1327 01:10:48,560 --> 01:10:51,519 Speaker 1: you hear about Martin Luther King's assassination and it kind 1328 01:10:51,520 --> 01:10:55,160 Speaker 1: of stops because it's the Civil Wars, Civil Vietnam War 1329 01:10:55,439 --> 01:10:57,560 Speaker 1: in the next in years. So black people kind of 1330 01:10:57,600 --> 01:11:00,639 Speaker 1: like stopped producing after Martin Luther King. Dr. Mart Luther 1331 01:11:00,720 --> 01:11:04,639 Speaker 1: King died. That is what if anybody disbelieve, just read 1332 01:11:04,680 --> 01:11:07,000 Speaker 1: your books. That signs being played to us. Oh you 1333 01:11:07,120 --> 01:11:09,160 Speaker 1: get the back of the day. I get the maps 1334 01:11:09,439 --> 01:11:12,040 Speaker 1: from the beer companies talk about the kings and queens 1335 01:11:12,080 --> 01:11:14,360 Speaker 1: and they tell me that, you know, the cotton gin 1336 01:11:14,560 --> 01:11:16,400 Speaker 1: was built by a black person, But it wasn't in 1337 01:11:16,439 --> 01:11:18,360 Speaker 1: any book that I read in the high school or 1338 01:11:18,720 --> 01:11:21,400 Speaker 1: the elementary school or middle school. It was in something 1339 01:11:21,439 --> 01:11:24,599 Speaker 1: that I bought that had a beer ken on it 1340 01:11:24,840 --> 01:11:27,600 Speaker 1: or bill or was sponsive by a beer company. And 1341 01:11:27,680 --> 01:11:30,560 Speaker 1: not saying that's negative, but that's how it's being educated, okay. 1342 01:11:30,680 --> 01:11:34,040 Speaker 1: And so so sociology is key for me because it 1343 01:11:34,080 --> 01:11:37,080 Speaker 1: talks about how people engage and how people treat you 1344 01:11:37,120 --> 01:11:39,720 Speaker 1: in that engagement. So tell us about the impact of 1345 01:11:39,760 --> 01:11:43,559 Speaker 1: what you do as a sociology professor at Florida State 1346 01:11:43,800 --> 01:11:45,840 Speaker 1: and African American Studies, because I want to get to 1347 01:11:45,840 --> 01:11:49,120 Speaker 1: the critical race theory which has been bombard in the headlines, 1348 01:11:49,280 --> 01:11:52,120 Speaker 1: and maybe you can help my audience digests or understand 1349 01:11:52,200 --> 01:11:55,760 Speaker 1: that a lot better. Was a sociologist, I care most 1350 01:11:55,760 --> 01:12:01,640 Speaker 1: about explaining the concrete circumstances that people encounter that make 1351 01:12:01,680 --> 01:12:04,320 Speaker 1: it difficult to make ends meet and do the things 1352 01:12:04,320 --> 01:12:06,880 Speaker 1: that they need to that that they need to do 1353 01:12:06,960 --> 01:12:11,440 Speaker 1: to take care of their families. UM. Oftentimes we ignore 1354 01:12:12,240 --> 01:12:17,120 Speaker 1: those things about our realities that make things difficult, UM 1355 01:12:17,160 --> 01:12:21,200 Speaker 1: that are UM boundaries or barriers that that seem to 1356 01:12:21,240 --> 01:12:27,439 Speaker 1: be UM hard to to remove, etcetera. And and I 1357 01:12:27,479 --> 01:12:29,559 Speaker 1: also want to say, in our society, we have a 1358 01:12:29,600 --> 01:12:35,719 Speaker 1: tough time believing that, UM, it's okay for a problem 1359 01:12:36,040 --> 01:12:39,680 Speaker 1: to last longer than thirty minutes, right, And so if 1360 01:12:39,680 --> 01:12:42,200 Speaker 1: it's not solved in thirty minutes, we're almost in the 1361 01:12:42,240 --> 01:12:45,080 Speaker 1: space where we're gonna move on even if it's not solved. 1362 01:12:45,400 --> 01:12:47,800 Speaker 1: And so I think part of the problem that we're 1363 01:12:47,800 --> 01:12:52,040 Speaker 1: dealing with is one this whole issue of having a 1364 01:12:52,160 --> 01:12:56,599 Speaker 1: very short attention span UM with regard to understanding and 1365 01:12:56,640 --> 01:13:01,920 Speaker 1: even trying to UM deal with process social problems. And 1366 01:13:01,960 --> 01:13:05,320 Speaker 1: then we we also have a problem where we don't 1367 01:13:05,360 --> 01:13:08,880 Speaker 1: as a society, we're not willing or I don't believe 1368 01:13:08,920 --> 01:13:13,240 Speaker 1: that we've uh developed the stomach or in or the 1369 01:13:13,280 --> 01:13:19,000 Speaker 1: political will to really deal with um um longstanding ratio 1370 01:13:19,360 --> 01:13:23,759 Speaker 1: class um, antagonisms and issues. And so what we do 1371 01:13:24,200 --> 01:13:27,400 Speaker 1: We set up curricula where we go around these issues. Yeah, 1372 01:13:27,439 --> 01:13:31,400 Speaker 1: we say, um, the problems start stopped after we discover 1373 01:13:31,479 --> 01:13:33,960 Speaker 1: that Martin Luther King had a dream, um, and we 1374 01:13:34,000 --> 01:13:36,479 Speaker 1: got on board with his dream. And and now look 1375 01:13:36,520 --> 01:13:39,599 Speaker 1: at those black folks. You know, doors are openings, all good, 1376 01:13:40,040 --> 01:13:42,640 Speaker 1: but the problem is that it's not all good for 1377 01:13:42,760 --> 01:13:46,679 Speaker 1: most black folks. Most most black folks are near poor, 1378 01:13:46,920 --> 01:13:49,400 Speaker 1: which means that they're struggling on levels that that are 1379 01:13:49,439 --> 01:13:52,880 Speaker 1: invisible in places that we don't even see because our 1380 01:13:53,240 --> 01:13:56,559 Speaker 1: worlds are so wrapped around what we do and not 1381 01:13:56,680 --> 01:13:59,519 Speaker 1: what other people are really dealing with. So fields like 1382 01:13:59,600 --> 01:14:04,720 Speaker 1: socialate aology help us understand um, you know. And it's 1383 01:14:04,760 --> 01:14:09,559 Speaker 1: sometimes academicians you know, really help us understand what um 1384 01:14:09,600 --> 01:14:14,599 Speaker 1: since uh, what society's narrative has to say about us. 1385 01:14:14,600 --> 01:14:17,840 Speaker 1: And it's not always very critical of that narrative. UM. 1386 01:14:17,880 --> 01:14:20,360 Speaker 1: But in my work, I try to center the problems 1387 01:14:20,360 --> 01:14:23,840 Speaker 1: of the individual, and in particular black people, poor black people, 1388 01:14:24,280 --> 01:14:29,919 Speaker 1: to sort of help us understand both historically, uh economically, socially, 1389 01:14:30,240 --> 01:14:33,120 Speaker 1: how these problems, how we got these problems, why we 1390 01:14:33,160 --> 01:14:35,120 Speaker 1: still have these problems, or what we need to do 1391 01:14:35,280 --> 01:14:39,040 Speaker 1: to deal with these problems. And again, I think the 1392 01:14:39,120 --> 01:14:43,280 Speaker 1: pushback um is, particularly the pushback with regard to critical 1393 01:14:43,400 --> 01:14:47,680 Speaker 1: race theory, is about silencing you know, what, what we 1394 01:14:47,800 --> 01:14:50,720 Speaker 1: know because I think we know too much and they 1395 01:14:50,720 --> 01:14:53,479 Speaker 1: want to shut us up. Well, I think that if 1396 01:14:53,760 --> 01:14:55,960 Speaker 1: it's all times of information, right, the more you know, 1397 01:14:56,120 --> 01:15:00,280 Speaker 1: the more dangerous you can become. And so when when 1398 01:15:00,280 --> 01:15:03,240 Speaker 1: you look at because that's what I discovered. I discovered 1399 01:15:03,240 --> 01:15:06,160 Speaker 1: in my sociology class at the University Houston that I 1400 01:15:06,200 --> 01:15:09,439 Speaker 1: didn't know enough and it brought me to tears because 1401 01:15:09,439 --> 01:15:11,960 Speaker 1: of the fact that I thought I was smart. I 1402 01:15:12,000 --> 01:15:14,320 Speaker 1: thought I knew what I needed to know. When I 1403 01:15:14,360 --> 01:15:17,800 Speaker 1: realized that I was I was being denied an opportunity 1404 01:15:17,800 --> 01:15:21,479 Speaker 1: to get a full spectrum of education and information. And 1405 01:15:21,520 --> 01:15:24,200 Speaker 1: so when I hear people, whether it's the Trump administration 1406 01:15:24,320 --> 01:15:28,040 Speaker 1: trying to favor the Confederate statues and say they have 1407 01:15:28,080 --> 01:15:30,920 Speaker 1: a place in our society, but don't want to recognize 1408 01:15:31,080 --> 01:15:33,320 Speaker 1: that racism truly exists. I don't know how you can 1409 01:15:33,320 --> 01:15:35,480 Speaker 1: bounce it to I don't know how you can recognize 1410 01:15:35,520 --> 01:15:40,200 Speaker 1: Confederate monuments as saying these are heroes, but you can't 1411 01:15:40,240 --> 01:15:43,880 Speaker 1: recognize the fact that racism it's very prevalent. And as 1412 01:15:43,960 --> 01:15:46,720 Speaker 1: you say, it's not always overt. But you still have 1413 01:15:46,800 --> 01:15:49,519 Speaker 1: red lining of districts, you still have reasoning, you have 1414 01:15:49,840 --> 01:15:51,840 Speaker 1: you have people going around right now they are it's 1415 01:15:51,880 --> 01:15:56,160 Speaker 1: still audit the President Biden. Okay, that's racism. That's gonna 1416 01:15:56,160 --> 01:15:59,280 Speaker 1: be real because it's tied to black voters, it's black 1417 01:15:59,320 --> 01:16:02,240 Speaker 1: to people who leave. There's a need for change. And 1418 01:16:02,280 --> 01:16:03,960 Speaker 1: so when you look at what you're doing and you 1419 01:16:04,000 --> 01:16:06,840 Speaker 1: look at the critical race theory, there's been bantered about 1420 01:16:07,200 --> 01:16:10,400 Speaker 1: what is the problem. Is it the information or is 1421 01:16:10,400 --> 01:16:12,720 Speaker 1: it is it? Is it something that was done in 1422 01:16:12,800 --> 01:16:17,640 Speaker 1: eighteen seventy nine trying to be implemented in two one. 1423 01:16:18,200 --> 01:16:20,439 Speaker 1: It's I've I've looked at some of these people that 1424 01:16:20,439 --> 01:16:24,599 Speaker 1: that have commented on critical race theory, particularly those people 1425 01:16:24,680 --> 01:16:29,280 Speaker 1: who have been against uh, this particular theory being taught 1426 01:16:29,560 --> 01:16:32,840 Speaker 1: um at the post secondary level, primarily because that's what 1427 01:16:33,000 --> 01:16:37,400 Speaker 1: where it's taught. Essentially, my my take on Their argument 1428 01:16:37,640 --> 01:16:41,639 Speaker 1: is that, um, this happened a long time ago, and 1429 01:16:41,840 --> 01:16:45,200 Speaker 1: why should we talk about, you know, information that may 1430 01:16:45,360 --> 01:16:48,320 Speaker 1: or may not be true. It's really interesting. Um. The 1431 01:16:48,320 --> 01:16:50,479 Speaker 1: the argument is that it happened a long time ago. 1432 01:16:50,960 --> 01:16:54,800 Speaker 1: Then the corollary to that is that this information may 1433 01:16:54,840 --> 01:16:59,559 Speaker 1: not be true, right, Um. And and then it's how 1434 01:17:00,000 --> 01:17:03,560 Speaker 1: and we can't get along? Why can't we get along? Right? 1435 01:17:03,960 --> 01:17:08,360 Speaker 1: I'm an Italian American? Right? Um? And mind you, this 1436 01:17:08,400 --> 01:17:10,719 Speaker 1: person doesn't want to own that he has white skin, 1437 01:17:11,320 --> 01:17:16,080 Speaker 1: you know, and that skin speaks for him, you know. Uh. 1438 01:17:16,120 --> 01:17:18,840 Speaker 1: But I'm an Italian American. Why should we have to, 1439 01:17:19,479 --> 01:17:22,960 Speaker 1: you know, learn about this history? Uh? And it's it's 1440 01:17:23,320 --> 01:17:26,880 Speaker 1: it's part of the American program that we have in 1441 01:17:26,920 --> 01:17:31,679 Speaker 1: that program is all about denier. We deny what's true, 1442 01:17:31,760 --> 01:17:34,120 Speaker 1: We deny what's real in the lives of people who 1443 01:17:34,120 --> 01:17:38,160 Speaker 1: are dealing with tough stuff, Okay, and then we turn 1444 01:17:38,200 --> 01:17:41,639 Speaker 1: around and we blame them for what they're experiencing, as 1445 01:17:41,680 --> 01:17:46,040 Speaker 1: though they created those issues. But I would submit that 1446 01:17:46,160 --> 01:17:49,200 Speaker 1: the real problem is that we've never gotten around to 1447 01:17:49,360 --> 01:17:52,800 Speaker 1: dealing with the fact that when black folks stopped giving 1448 01:17:52,840 --> 01:17:58,000 Speaker 1: their labor to white folks after slavery never quite stopped 1449 01:17:58,280 --> 01:18:03,920 Speaker 1: being the white man's right, you know, for the wrong reason. Absolutely, 1450 01:18:03,920 --> 01:18:06,000 Speaker 1: when I when I hear you talk, you know, I 1451 01:18:06,120 --> 01:18:08,880 Speaker 1: smile and that you know I said, you go, girl, 1452 01:18:09,040 --> 01:18:10,680 Speaker 1: you do what you gotta do. I need you to 1453 01:18:10,680 --> 01:18:13,120 Speaker 1: be a professor somebody talking to people in general, so 1454 01:18:13,160 --> 01:18:14,680 Speaker 1: they have somebody that can come up and talk to 1455 01:18:15,000 --> 01:18:18,200 Speaker 1: that has it. I'm on this conversation that necessarily isn't 1456 01:18:18,240 --> 01:18:20,480 Speaker 1: their color, because that's where you get on this conversation 1457 01:18:20,560 --> 01:18:22,880 Speaker 1: when somebody who's not your color comes up to you 1458 01:18:22,920 --> 01:18:26,080 Speaker 1: in communication. Because so what happens within our community sometimes 1459 01:18:26,120 --> 01:18:28,559 Speaker 1: we don't even want to talk about slavery. We want 1460 01:18:28,560 --> 01:18:30,640 Speaker 1: to say that we want to why why why we 1461 01:18:30,680 --> 01:18:33,599 Speaker 1: gotta talk about that? You know, we're moving forward. There's 1462 01:18:33,640 --> 01:18:35,479 Speaker 1: a section of us that want to talk like that 1463 01:18:35,520 --> 01:18:37,920 Speaker 1: at all. Maybe you may say that we are maybe 1464 01:18:37,920 --> 01:18:41,559 Speaker 1: in an affluent or maybe are doing well or at 1465 01:18:41,600 --> 01:18:44,400 Speaker 1: a certain tax bracket. But I've always been a person that, 1466 01:18:44,479 --> 01:18:47,679 Speaker 1: no matter how successful I've been, Dr David's always felt 1467 01:18:47,720 --> 01:18:50,360 Speaker 1: that if I can't help more people get where I'm 1468 01:18:50,360 --> 01:18:53,160 Speaker 1: trying to get or where I'm trying to go, then 1469 01:18:53,160 --> 01:18:56,559 Speaker 1: I'm not winning for the overall picture. Isn't that what 1470 01:18:56,560 --> 01:18:58,600 Speaker 1: we're trying to do. Isn't that what your book? The 1471 01:18:58,640 --> 01:19:00,920 Speaker 1: information we're getting out of your book that is about 1472 01:19:00,920 --> 01:19:03,640 Speaker 1: a group of people. And this happens to be a city, 1473 01:19:03,880 --> 01:19:08,080 Speaker 1: not not a community, a city where the world, where 1474 01:19:08,120 --> 01:19:13,320 Speaker 1: the work factories moved, drugs came in. You know, Burton, 1475 01:19:13,400 --> 01:19:16,240 Speaker 1: which was right less than a mile away, and their 1476 01:19:16,280 --> 01:19:20,760 Speaker 1: billing system was different than Flip Michigan's building system. And 1477 01:19:20,880 --> 01:19:23,800 Speaker 1: nobody and then if if, if, if the snow was 1478 01:19:23,880 --> 01:19:27,680 Speaker 1: on their street, it got plowed. First snow was on 1479 01:19:27,760 --> 01:19:31,759 Speaker 1: your street. Uh, we we get with you. The trees 1480 01:19:31,760 --> 01:19:35,920 Speaker 1: were dying over there and flint over in burden. Hey 1481 01:19:36,040 --> 01:19:38,679 Speaker 1: the tree just can just a leaf can fall off 1482 01:19:38,680 --> 01:19:41,840 Speaker 1: the tree. Excuse me, I got that leaf? Bat Oh, 1483 01:19:41,920 --> 01:19:44,639 Speaker 1: go about your business. You know that's what you're talking 1484 01:19:44,680 --> 01:19:48,280 Speaker 1: about in your book. You you you clearly made me go. 1485 01:19:49,439 --> 01:19:51,720 Speaker 1: You made be mad. Dr Davis. You may be mad. 1486 01:19:51,760 --> 01:19:55,479 Speaker 1: I wanted to make you mad. You may be mad, girl, 1487 01:19:56,840 --> 01:20:01,880 Speaker 1: because you were telling the truth. Why don't people want 1488 01:20:01,920 --> 01:20:05,760 Speaker 1: to hear the truth? Come on, the truth is uncomfortable. 1489 01:20:06,880 --> 01:20:13,479 Speaker 1: Sometimes when certain people hear it, they think that you know, 1490 01:20:13,680 --> 01:20:16,360 Speaker 1: I'm listening to this truth. And that means that something 1491 01:20:16,400 --> 01:20:21,320 Speaker 1: that I had may be taken away, right, my privilege, 1492 01:20:21,600 --> 01:20:25,200 Speaker 1: my the benefits that I that I um enjoy, I 1493 01:20:25,240 --> 01:20:29,599 Speaker 1: may need to share, you know, Oh, they gotta put 1494 01:20:29,640 --> 01:20:32,040 Speaker 1: money on this. That money may be taken from some 1495 01:20:32,120 --> 01:20:35,720 Speaker 1: things that my children might or my child might need. 1496 01:20:37,439 --> 01:20:39,160 Speaker 1: And I want to tell you it's something that was 1497 01:20:39,200 --> 01:20:42,040 Speaker 1: brought up in this podcast that i've I've done related 1498 01:20:42,080 --> 01:20:45,360 Speaker 1: to the book. One of my guests shared with me. 1499 01:20:45,400 --> 01:20:49,839 Speaker 1: And this is a very very important um um statement 1500 01:20:49,880 --> 01:20:52,400 Speaker 1: that he made. And this is when I was pushing 1501 01:20:52,479 --> 01:20:55,640 Speaker 1: him to why aren't cities doing what they need to 1502 01:20:55,760 --> 01:20:59,720 Speaker 1: do to take care of everybody? Why they're playing for 1503 01:21:00,040 --> 01:21:04,840 Speaker 1: people right um? And he was talking about what we 1504 01:21:04,920 --> 01:21:07,640 Speaker 1: haven't gotten around to dealing with legacy costs, how to 1505 01:21:07,880 --> 01:21:10,400 Speaker 1: help cities deal with costs that they can't deal with 1506 01:21:10,960 --> 01:21:15,680 Speaker 1: because they have poor people, etcetera, etcetera. Um And and 1507 01:21:15,760 --> 01:21:18,639 Speaker 1: so again I was pushing him, why is this the issue? 1508 01:21:18,720 --> 01:21:22,080 Speaker 1: Why hasn't the state and the powers that be come 1509 01:21:22,160 --> 01:21:25,800 Speaker 1: up with better models? And he said, essentially, we don't 1510 01:21:25,840 --> 01:21:30,160 Speaker 1: have a problem handing a person of food stamp, but 1511 01:21:30,280 --> 01:21:34,320 Speaker 1: we have a problem giving people access to jobs via 1512 01:21:34,360 --> 01:21:40,240 Speaker 1: programs like affirmative action because you know why, because when 1513 01:21:40,240 --> 01:21:42,760 Speaker 1: you hand somebody or food stamp, you can label them 1514 01:21:42,800 --> 01:21:48,240 Speaker 1: as a person that's that's um irrelevant, and then that 1515 01:21:48,360 --> 01:21:52,519 Speaker 1: same person you can start taking away rights. Okay, Now 1516 01:21:52,680 --> 01:21:55,599 Speaker 1: you give somebody an opportunity to affirmative action, then they 1517 01:21:55,600 --> 01:22:00,680 Speaker 1: can be on the level playing field. That's right. Economically, socially, 1518 01:22:00,880 --> 01:22:04,240 Speaker 1: they can move into their neighborhoods, they can bank for 1519 01:22:04,320 --> 01:22:06,920 Speaker 1: their bank, they can do the things that they do. 1520 01:22:06,960 --> 01:22:08,439 Speaker 1: They can eat in the restaurants they eat in them. 1521 01:22:08,800 --> 01:22:11,360 Speaker 1: And so I know because I came from the hood. 1522 01:22:11,720 --> 01:22:14,800 Speaker 1: I came from far for I came from a neighborhood 1523 01:22:14,880 --> 01:22:17,439 Speaker 1: where my parents had to get us out and we 1524 01:22:17,520 --> 01:22:20,720 Speaker 1: moved to a little neighborhood a little bit better, but 1525 01:22:20,840 --> 01:22:23,760 Speaker 1: it wasn't that neighborhood, okay. And so when I see 1526 01:22:23,760 --> 01:22:25,719 Speaker 1: about you in your book, is right you talk about 1527 01:22:26,040 --> 01:22:29,240 Speaker 1: when you talk about where it was changing the communities 1528 01:22:29,280 --> 01:22:32,200 Speaker 1: and sweeping through and now they call the gentrification. They 1529 01:22:32,200 --> 01:22:33,960 Speaker 1: put a fancy name on it now, but it's the 1530 01:22:33,960 --> 01:22:36,559 Speaker 1: same thing. They gave us a nice title. It gets 1531 01:22:36,600 --> 01:22:39,680 Speaker 1: the same thing, you know, moving black people to lesser communities, 1532 01:22:39,800 --> 01:22:42,719 Speaker 1: less property values, and then go what's the problem now 1533 01:22:43,200 --> 01:22:46,120 Speaker 1: you say richean. Doesn't that sound familiar? Doesn't that sound 1534 01:22:46,160 --> 01:22:49,960 Speaker 1: like the American Indian? Do you not realize that that 1535 01:22:49,960 --> 01:22:55,880 Speaker 1: that ghettos are just fancified reservations, Just fancified reservations, That's 1536 01:22:55,880 --> 01:22:58,320 Speaker 1: what they are. There are some people I know for 1537 01:22:58,360 --> 01:23:03,519 Speaker 1: a fact, deliving these communities who never leave, who have 1538 01:23:03,760 --> 01:23:09,600 Speaker 1: never driven out, who never shocked or eating out of 1539 01:23:09,640 --> 01:23:12,960 Speaker 1: that community. They are trapped into that world. If they're 1540 01:23:12,960 --> 01:23:16,280 Speaker 1: trapped into the world, guess what you're trapped to. And 1541 01:23:16,280 --> 01:23:18,280 Speaker 1: then so when you come into that world, you're seen 1542 01:23:18,320 --> 01:23:21,200 Speaker 1: as a stranger, which impacts them, and they're gonna treat 1543 01:23:21,200 --> 01:23:24,120 Speaker 1: you different, which may lead to negative consequences. When I 1544 01:23:24,160 --> 01:23:27,519 Speaker 1: started reading that part of your book, it just really 1545 01:23:27,560 --> 01:23:30,240 Speaker 1: made me even more mad. Dr David, you really you 1546 01:23:30,600 --> 01:23:32,360 Speaker 1: You're the first book I've ever had on the show. 1547 01:23:32,479 --> 01:23:35,040 Speaker 1: Just had me positively mad. This is not a mad 1548 01:23:35,160 --> 01:23:40,040 Speaker 1: mad because I can't win because of my skin tone 1549 01:23:40,439 --> 01:23:48,799 Speaker 1: according to America. Well, I'm sorry that I made me mad, 1550 01:23:49,840 --> 01:23:52,880 Speaker 1: but it's it's really my job to tell the truth 1551 01:23:54,000 --> 01:23:55,960 Speaker 1: and to say it in a way where people can 1552 01:23:56,040 --> 01:23:59,840 Speaker 1: understand it, where there's teeth and you understand that this 1553 01:23:59,880 --> 01:24:03,519 Speaker 1: is not a game, right, they have been playing with 1554 01:24:03,560 --> 01:24:06,720 Speaker 1: our lives. But for some reason we don't want to 1555 01:24:06,760 --> 01:24:12,519 Speaker 1: call it um genocide. We we we stopped at that. 1556 01:24:12,800 --> 01:24:17,080 Speaker 1: We we say, well, it's you know, um, we're doing 1557 01:24:17,120 --> 01:24:19,920 Speaker 1: what we can and we're not killing people at will 1558 01:24:20,400 --> 01:24:23,160 Speaker 1: and things of this nature. But I would submit this. 1559 01:24:24,040 --> 01:24:28,920 Speaker 1: If you poison people over time with with um materials 1560 01:24:29,280 --> 01:24:33,120 Speaker 1: or toxins that could I don't know, um make them 1561 01:24:33,439 --> 01:24:38,000 Speaker 1: less smart, make them more prone to violence and anger, 1562 01:24:39,200 --> 01:24:42,920 Speaker 1: make them um less likely to be able to self govern. 1563 01:24:43,120 --> 01:24:46,400 Speaker 1: What you're doing is is basically doubling down. You have 1564 01:24:46,560 --> 01:24:48,720 Speaker 1: this theory of who we are, but then you you 1565 01:24:48,800 --> 01:24:52,760 Speaker 1: poison our communities and help that happen. Right, And so 1566 01:24:52,880 --> 01:24:55,600 Speaker 1: the thing is, yeah, I'm absolutely sorry that I have 1567 01:24:55,680 --> 01:25:00,120 Speaker 1: to let folks know that problems don't get solved. I 1568 01:25:00,200 --> 01:25:04,479 Speaker 1: gotta let folks know that they're playing poor black people 1569 01:25:04,600 --> 01:25:08,000 Speaker 1: left and right, leaving them out of resources or keeping 1570 01:25:08,000 --> 01:25:11,280 Speaker 1: them from resources that they actually need to make ends 1571 01:25:11,360 --> 01:25:15,120 Speaker 1: meet and to um take good care of themselves. UM. 1572 01:25:15,360 --> 01:25:17,520 Speaker 1: I have to let you know because it's my obligation, 1573 01:25:18,120 --> 01:25:21,679 Speaker 1: because I don't need us us as a people walking 1574 01:25:21,760 --> 01:25:25,160 Speaker 1: around thinking that we got it made we got some 1575 01:25:25,160 --> 01:25:27,840 Speaker 1: work to do. You know in your book Tanned Tap 1576 01:25:27,920 --> 01:25:31,479 Speaker 1: flintch Journey from Crisis to Recover in chapter six, which 1577 01:25:31,520 --> 01:25:35,160 Speaker 1: is the blame game of legal circus and public finger pointing. 1578 01:25:35,680 --> 01:25:38,040 Speaker 1: And this is basically because what I try to do, 1579 01:25:38,040 --> 01:25:41,400 Speaker 1: what I bring individual only my show talking about that books, 1580 01:25:41,400 --> 01:25:43,280 Speaker 1: I'm not trying to I don't try to get My 1581 01:25:43,360 --> 01:25:45,439 Speaker 1: job is not to give away the book. My job 1582 01:25:45,520 --> 01:25:47,840 Speaker 1: is to gain interest. So somebody wou want to read 1583 01:25:47,880 --> 01:25:51,200 Speaker 1: your book? And what you just talked about, it's basically 1584 01:25:51,280 --> 01:25:54,360 Speaker 1: what the blame game is. You know, you know, it's 1585 01:25:54,560 --> 01:25:57,880 Speaker 1: it's good to say that you know that there's a 1586 01:25:57,960 --> 01:26:01,559 Speaker 1: problem in the minority communities because we go black and 1587 01:26:01,560 --> 01:26:03,640 Speaker 1: brown right now, because I'm African American. That's why we're 1588 01:26:03,640 --> 01:26:06,439 Speaker 1: talking about this fact of community having the same issues 1589 01:26:07,000 --> 01:26:11,400 Speaker 1: and and in the American Indian community is a lost community. Okay, 1590 01:26:11,400 --> 01:26:14,120 Speaker 1: it's a lost community. And so and so when we 1591 01:26:14,160 --> 01:26:17,080 Speaker 1: talk about through sociology, which guys are through this whole 1592 01:26:17,120 --> 01:26:20,360 Speaker 1: situation here, what is the blame game and who is 1593 01:26:20,680 --> 01:26:26,479 Speaker 1: running the blame game? Well, I would say the blame 1594 01:26:26,560 --> 01:26:29,840 Speaker 1: game is is essentially this, it's we know that a 1595 01:26:29,880 --> 01:26:34,439 Speaker 1: problem exists, However, we're gonna let you believe that you 1596 01:26:34,720 --> 01:26:38,439 Speaker 1: created that problem, or we're gonna let you believe that 1597 01:26:38,479 --> 01:26:42,519 Speaker 1: the problem doesn't exist. So that's the first rob So 1598 01:26:42,560 --> 01:26:45,920 Speaker 1: then after you you effectively prove that you didn't create 1599 01:26:45,960 --> 01:26:48,880 Speaker 1: the problem, then we have to work at trying to 1600 01:26:49,000 --> 01:26:52,360 Speaker 1: distance ourselves from that blame because we don't want to 1601 01:26:52,400 --> 01:26:55,000 Speaker 1: take that heat. We don't want to be in a 1602 01:26:55,120 --> 01:26:58,000 Speaker 1: seat of or in the be placed in the process 1603 01:26:58,040 --> 01:27:02,480 Speaker 1: of actually trying having to fix the the institutional problems 1604 01:27:03,000 --> 01:27:06,599 Speaker 1: and and replace those strategies and policies that enable us 1605 01:27:06,600 --> 01:27:09,240 Speaker 1: to do the stuff we do. Well, you know, it's 1606 01:27:09,320 --> 01:27:12,920 Speaker 1: it's just an interesting because I'm a closed doctor, Dr Davis, 1607 01:27:12,960 --> 01:27:16,639 Speaker 1: and it's all positive. You know, when I say I'm mad, 1608 01:27:16,680 --> 01:27:19,240 Speaker 1: it's a good man, because I've been filled with information, 1609 01:27:19,240 --> 01:27:21,880 Speaker 1: the information I got from your book, Tainting Tap Flinch 1610 01:27:22,000 --> 01:27:25,839 Speaker 1: Journey from Crisis to Recovery. In twenty seventeen, Flint, Michigan 1611 01:27:25,880 --> 01:27:29,160 Speaker 1: was the poorest city in America. Who wants that title? Okay, 1612 01:27:29,320 --> 01:27:30,920 Speaker 1: who wants to know that right down the street less 1613 01:27:30,920 --> 01:27:34,120 Speaker 1: than a mile somebody's paying less And guess what they 1614 01:27:34,960 --> 01:27:36,720 Speaker 1: as they say, they look like you, They're just a 1615 01:27:36,720 --> 01:27:40,120 Speaker 1: different color. But more importantly, when you look at all 1616 01:27:40,160 --> 01:27:42,840 Speaker 1: this critical theory, look at all these arguments about we 1617 01:27:42,880 --> 01:27:45,760 Speaker 1: don't want to let anybody know that the Americans has 1618 01:27:45,800 --> 01:27:48,720 Speaker 1: done nothing wrong. How and maybe you might not can't 1619 01:27:48,720 --> 01:27:52,360 Speaker 1: answer this, How did you team get recognized as a 1620 01:27:52,439 --> 01:27:55,920 Speaker 1: national holiday? How did that slip past? When that was 1621 01:27:55,960 --> 01:28:01,200 Speaker 1: the ultimate level of recognition that black people boom, we'll 1622 01:28:01,320 --> 01:28:05,320 Speaker 1: enslaved and black people were released due to slavery because 1623 01:28:05,320 --> 01:28:07,840 Speaker 1: they were brought over to this country against their will. 1624 01:28:08,240 --> 01:28:11,639 Speaker 1: But somehow I got passed unanimsally, a bunch of people 1625 01:28:11,760 --> 01:28:14,760 Speaker 1: are arguing about the critical race theory. Does that make 1626 01:28:14,800 --> 01:28:17,280 Speaker 1: sense to you? I'm glad it got passed because I'm 1627 01:28:17,400 --> 01:28:20,360 Speaker 1: used in Texas and it's always been a holiday in 1628 01:28:20,400 --> 01:28:24,080 Speaker 1: the state of Texas, but it was never recognized national holiday. 1629 01:28:24,320 --> 01:28:26,640 Speaker 1: So when everybody started getting on board in twenty I 1630 01:28:26,720 --> 01:28:30,440 Speaker 1: kind of smiled, and I'm happy that in it was recognized. 1631 01:28:30,640 --> 01:28:33,519 Speaker 1: But how does June team get passed with all this 1632 01:28:33,680 --> 01:28:37,799 Speaker 1: denial going on in the public's eye about racism and slavery? 1633 01:28:38,360 --> 01:28:40,840 Speaker 1: M hmm. I love that you asked that question. So 1634 01:28:41,040 --> 01:28:44,080 Speaker 1: I'll be brief because we can write a dissertation on this, 1635 01:28:44,800 --> 01:28:48,960 Speaker 1: but I would I would say that, UM, you know, 1636 01:28:49,439 --> 01:28:52,919 Speaker 1: essentially what we're looking at is a political maneuver. Um. 1637 01:28:52,960 --> 01:28:57,000 Speaker 1: We're we're sort of addicted to and attracted to symbolic gestures, 1638 01:28:57,360 --> 01:29:00,240 Speaker 1: and this is one of them. So, because I can 1639 01:29:00,280 --> 01:29:02,920 Speaker 1: tell you this, if we can set up up a holiday, 1640 01:29:03,200 --> 01:29:06,519 Speaker 1: UM great. I'm all Ford in Flint, Michigan. We've been 1641 01:29:06,520 --> 01:29:11,799 Speaker 1: celebrating June tenth, June tenth for you know a long time. Uh. 1642 01:29:11,840 --> 01:29:15,760 Speaker 1: That said, UM, if you really want to make progress 1643 01:29:15,800 --> 01:29:18,519 Speaker 1: in the black community, you will pass laws that make 1644 01:29:18,960 --> 01:29:21,120 Speaker 1: UM folks accountable for the things that they do to 1645 01:29:21,160 --> 01:29:25,000 Speaker 1: the people that they're supposed to be accountable to. You 1646 01:29:25,280 --> 01:29:28,559 Speaker 1: want to pass laws and make things uh a bit 1647 01:29:28,560 --> 01:29:32,280 Speaker 1: more transparent, right, give people a seat at the table. Uh. 1648 01:29:32,320 --> 01:29:34,599 Speaker 1: You want to make sure that people aren't being played 1649 01:29:34,960 --> 01:29:38,799 Speaker 1: the extent of which they are being played in their communities. UM. 1650 01:29:38,880 --> 01:29:41,599 Speaker 1: You know you're drinking water that is not safe and 1651 01:29:42,439 --> 01:29:45,160 Speaker 1: you know they'll take your house away if you don't 1652 01:29:45,160 --> 01:29:48,679 Speaker 1: pay for that for poison water. Um. And so we're 1653 01:29:48,680 --> 01:29:53,599 Speaker 1: in a space where we love um symbolic empty gestures. UM, 1654 01:29:53,640 --> 01:29:56,840 Speaker 1: but we're not. We don't. We haven't um summoned the 1655 01:29:56,880 --> 01:29:59,880 Speaker 1: political will to do what's required to move things FA. 1656 01:30:01,200 --> 01:30:03,479 Speaker 1: Dr Catcher Neil Davis, thank you for coming on my show. 1657 01:30:03,600 --> 01:30:07,120 Speaker 1: You associated with the professor of Sociology and African American Stories, 1658 01:30:07,240 --> 01:30:10,519 Speaker 1: and you know they say the Seminar State Florida State 1659 01:30:11,080 --> 01:30:15,599 Speaker 1: University down in Tallahasan, Florida. Your book Tainted Tap Flinch 1660 01:30:15,720 --> 01:30:18,360 Speaker 1: Journey from Crisis to Recover as a wonderful read. Is 1661 01:30:18,400 --> 01:30:21,559 Speaker 1: an informative read. It's an educational read. Is a reader 1662 01:30:21,560 --> 01:30:24,439 Speaker 1: will tap into your emotions, give you information that you 1663 01:30:24,800 --> 01:30:27,520 Speaker 1: may not have known, or reminded you of an experience 1664 01:30:27,640 --> 01:30:30,479 Speaker 1: or lifestyle that you want experience so you can understand 1665 01:30:30,479 --> 01:30:33,479 Speaker 1: the complications that people are dealing with now because guess 1666 01:30:33,520 --> 01:30:36,320 Speaker 1: what they've taken away all of our options are so 1667 01:30:36,360 --> 01:30:39,479 Speaker 1: many of our options within the black community, that we 1668 01:30:39,560 --> 01:30:42,439 Speaker 1: have to fight back, We have to scream, We have 1669 01:30:42,600 --> 01:30:45,320 Speaker 1: to some way rab because guess what, like you said, 1670 01:30:45,560 --> 01:30:47,800 Speaker 1: if you get what's your option once you once you 1671 01:30:47,880 --> 01:30:50,680 Speaker 1: corner somebody, you're taken, where all their food taken, where 1672 01:30:50,680 --> 01:30:53,840 Speaker 1: all their options to survive? The only option is to 1673 01:30:53,920 --> 01:30:56,200 Speaker 1: be violent. And we can start curbing a lot of 1674 01:30:56,240 --> 01:30:59,000 Speaker 1: this violence if we treated everybody equal and gave them 1675 01:30:59,080 --> 01:31:02,000 Speaker 1: equal opportunity to in again. Dr Davis, thank you for 1676 01:31:02,040 --> 01:31:05,000 Speaker 1: coming on Money Making Conversations. Thank you so much for 1677 01:31:05,040 --> 01:31:08,519 Speaker 1: having me a pleasure. Thank you. We will be right 1678 01:31:08,520 --> 01:31:12,560 Speaker 1: back with more money Making Conversations with your host Rashan McDonald. 1679 01:31:14,479 --> 01:31:17,960 Speaker 1: You are now tuned into the Money Making Conversations Minute 1680 01:31:17,960 --> 01:31:21,759 Speaker 1: of Inspiration with Rashan McDonald's Hollywood is changing its perception 1681 01:31:21,800 --> 01:31:25,559 Speaker 1: of African American programming, just as entertainment trail Blazer Deborah 1682 01:31:25,600 --> 01:31:28,400 Speaker 1: Martin Chase, who is currently the executive producer on Queen 1683 01:31:28,479 --> 01:31:32,160 Speaker 1: Latifa's new CBS drama series, The Equalizer. I got in 1684 01:31:32,240 --> 01:31:35,559 Speaker 1: this business because when I was growing up, I did 1685 01:31:35,600 --> 01:31:38,479 Speaker 1: not see people on screen who looked or felt like me, 1686 01:31:38,680 --> 01:31:42,040 Speaker 1: and so I wanted to break down stereotypes. I wanted 1687 01:31:42,080 --> 01:31:45,519 Speaker 1: to create images that would empower us and would help 1688 01:31:45,560 --> 01:31:47,639 Speaker 1: people to understand that, you know, they had the power 1689 01:31:47,680 --> 01:31:49,960 Speaker 1: to do whatever they wanted to do in life. And 1690 01:31:50,320 --> 01:31:53,920 Speaker 1: there was a period in Hollywood where people weren't interested 1691 01:31:53,920 --> 01:31:57,360 Speaker 1: in making movies about women, about people of color. It 1692 01:31:57,479 --> 01:32:00,759 Speaker 1: was all about the big temp pole movies and action movies. 1693 01:32:00,960 --> 01:32:04,240 Speaker 1: I would walk into offices and people's eyes with glaze 1694 01:32:04,280 --> 01:32:06,360 Speaker 1: over when I told them, you know what I was 1695 01:32:06,400 --> 01:32:08,519 Speaker 1: thinking about. If you want to hear this full interview 1696 01:32:08,520 --> 01:32:11,800 Speaker 1: with Deborah Martin Chase, visit money Making Conversation dot com. 1697 01:32:12,000 --> 01:32:16,040 Speaker 1: Keep winning Welcome back to Money Making Conversations with your 1698 01:32:16,040 --> 01:32:20,800 Speaker 1: host Rashan McDonald. Adoption of teams from foster care is 1699 01:32:20,840 --> 01:32:23,160 Speaker 1: a topic not enough people know about, and we're here 1700 01:32:23,200 --> 01:32:25,720 Speaker 1: to change that. I'm April Dennuity, host of the new 1701 01:32:25,760 --> 01:32:30,160 Speaker 1: podcast Navigating Adoption, presented by adopt Us Kids. Each episode 1702 01:32:30,160 --> 01:32:33,439 Speaker 1: brings you compelling, real life adoption stories told by the 1703 01:32:33,479 --> 01:32:36,919 Speaker 1: families that lived them, with commentary from experts. Visit adopt 1704 01:32:37,040 --> 01:32:40,479 Speaker 1: us Kids dot org, slash podcast, or subscribe to Navigating 1705 01:32:40,520 --> 01:32:43,559 Speaker 1: Adoption presented by adopt Us Kids, brought to you by 1706 01:32:43,600 --> 01:32:46,000 Speaker 1: the U. S Department of Health and Human Services, Administration 1707 01:32:46,040 --> 01:32:49,240 Speaker 1: for Children and Families, and the ad Council. If I 1708 01:32:49,280 --> 01:32:51,800 Speaker 1: could be you and you could be me for just 1709 01:32:52,040 --> 01:32:54,400 Speaker 1: one hour, if you could find a way to get 1710 01:32:54,439 --> 01:32:58,360 Speaker 1: inside each other's mind, walk a mile in my shoes, 1711 01:32:58,640 --> 01:33:03,720 Speaker 1: wacome mile in my shoes shoes. We've all felt left out, 1712 01:33:04,120 --> 01:33:06,960 Speaker 1: and for some that feeling lasts more than a moment. 1713 01:33:07,439 --> 01:33:10,439 Speaker 1: We can change that, learn how it belonging begins with 1714 01:33:10,560 --> 01:33:13,040 Speaker 1: us dot org brought to you by the AD Council. 1715 01:33:14,200 --> 01:33:20,280 Speaker 1: Welcome out and the machine. Look to your children's eyes 1716 01:33:20,560 --> 01:33:23,439 Speaker 1: to see the true magic of a forest. It's a 1717 01:33:23,560 --> 01:33:26,679 Speaker 1: storybook world for them. You look and see a tree. 1718 01:33:27,120 --> 01:33:30,000 Speaker 1: They see the wrinkled face of a wizard with arms 1719 01:33:30,080 --> 01:33:33,880 Speaker 1: outstretched to the sky. They see treasure and pebbles. They 1720 01:33:33,920 --> 01:33:36,960 Speaker 1: see a windy path that could lead to adventure, and 1721 01:33:37,040 --> 01:33:41,240 Speaker 1: they see you. They're fearless. Guide if this fascinating world, 1722 01:33:41,600 --> 01:33:44,439 Speaker 1: find a forest near you and start exploring and discover 1723 01:33:44,520 --> 01:33:46,759 Speaker 1: the forest. Dot org brought to you by the United 1724 01:33:46,800 --> 01:33:49,479 Speaker 1: States Forest Service and the AD Council. I guess it's 1725 01:33:49,520 --> 01:33:51,840 Speaker 1: perfect from that statement that I laid with leading with 1726 01:33:51,840 --> 01:33:53,960 Speaker 1: your gifts and all that your age freance family of 1727 01:33:54,040 --> 01:33:56,240 Speaker 1: coworkers stop you from playing in the living your dreams. 1728 01:33:56,400 --> 01:34:00,080 Speaker 1: Because his book is about pushing through failure because as 1729 01:34:00,120 --> 01:34:02,680 Speaker 1: that sets you up for success. And his name is 1730 01:34:02,800 --> 01:34:06,280 Speaker 1: Ryan Leek. He's an author, speaker, executive coach, and podcaster. 1731 01:34:06,640 --> 01:34:10,719 Speaker 1: He's known for two documentaries, The Surprise Wedding and Chasing Failure. 1732 01:34:11,080 --> 01:34:14,000 Speaker 1: Ryan's careers split fifty percent speaking in churches and fifty 1733 01:34:14,000 --> 01:34:17,799 Speaker 1: percent doing executive coaching through his company, The Ryan Leek Company. 1734 01:34:18,080 --> 01:34:19,760 Speaker 1: He's on the show to talk about his new book, 1735 01:34:20,000 --> 01:34:24,080 Speaker 1: Chasing Failure. How falling short sets you up for success. 1736 01:34:24,200 --> 01:34:27,920 Speaker 1: It stated in his book, kids can dream uninterrupted because 1737 01:34:27,960 --> 01:34:30,599 Speaker 1: their failure has not yet become something that they fear. 1738 01:34:31,080 --> 01:34:34,320 Speaker 1: In the book Chasing Failure, Ryan lays out the framework 1739 01:34:34,360 --> 01:34:37,320 Speaker 1: you need to chase failure successfully, which means living a 1740 01:34:37,400 --> 01:34:40,639 Speaker 1: life where you are pursuing your dreams, living in your purpose, 1741 01:34:40,960 --> 01:34:45,200 Speaker 1: and experiencing fulfillment. Please walk with the money making conversation. 1742 01:34:45,200 --> 01:34:47,559 Speaker 1: I hope I laiter that well for him, Ryan Leek, 1743 01:34:48,840 --> 01:34:50,680 Speaker 1: it's an honor to be here. So glad to be 1744 01:34:50,720 --> 01:34:53,360 Speaker 1: on the show. Well, good my friend, and I'm allegation 1745 01:34:54,000 --> 01:34:56,360 Speaker 1: one of my one of my little mentees are Ricky 1746 01:34:56,360 --> 01:34:58,240 Speaker 1: Smiley kind of remind me a little bit of Rickey 1747 01:34:58,240 --> 01:35:01,280 Speaker 1: smiling here. Ryan, you know that make look. I looked 1748 01:35:01,280 --> 01:35:04,080 Speaker 1: at you looked just like a little Rickie smiler there. 1749 01:35:04,080 --> 01:35:08,559 Speaker 1: But that's a couple because he's that. I love rick yeh, 1750 01:35:08,960 --> 01:35:11,519 Speaker 1: good people, man. We talked about at least two or 1751 01:35:11,560 --> 01:35:14,679 Speaker 1: three times a month about stuff like this, about chasing 1752 01:35:14,720 --> 01:35:19,160 Speaker 1: the dreams, about position yourself for success. Now this is 1753 01:35:19,200 --> 01:35:22,160 Speaker 1: what the fifth version of our addition, I should say, 1754 01:35:22,320 --> 01:35:26,320 Speaker 1: of chasing Failing. Yeah. Absolutely. You know, the first one 1755 01:35:26,520 --> 01:35:29,200 Speaker 1: was really just the story of I mean, trying out 1756 01:35:29,240 --> 01:35:31,920 Speaker 1: for the Phoenix suns and you know, diving into the 1757 01:35:31,960 --> 01:35:35,679 Speaker 1: surprise wedding. So that was only about sixty pages. Found 1758 01:35:35,680 --> 01:35:37,920 Speaker 1: some typos in it, which is the thing every author 1759 01:35:37,960 --> 01:35:40,000 Speaker 1: hates to hear. And you know, we kind of kept 1760 01:35:40,040 --> 01:35:43,400 Speaker 1: trying to revisit it and rebrand it, but it just, well, 1761 01:35:43,720 --> 01:35:46,840 Speaker 1: in my estimation, you know, kept kept failing. And so 1762 01:35:47,800 --> 01:35:50,960 Speaker 1: um So you know, five years later, when having a 1763 01:35:50,960 --> 01:35:53,320 Speaker 1: conversation with my literary agent about, hey, I think you 1764 01:35:53,320 --> 01:35:56,479 Speaker 1: need to squeeze his limit again, and I'm thinking, like, hey, 1765 01:35:56,520 --> 01:36:00,040 Speaker 1: that's that's that. I already talked about that. And and 1766 01:36:00,120 --> 01:36:02,240 Speaker 1: she challenged me. She challenged me. She said, yeah, but 1767 01:36:02,280 --> 01:36:04,519 Speaker 1: you didn't. You didn't actually market it. You didn't actually 1768 01:36:04,640 --> 01:36:08,040 Speaker 1: like really write like a book book. So how about 1769 01:36:08,040 --> 01:36:10,840 Speaker 1: you to write a book book this time? And so 1770 01:36:11,040 --> 01:36:13,519 Speaker 1: I said, all right, let's do it. And and so 1771 01:36:13,600 --> 01:36:16,280 Speaker 1: here we are again. And uh, if at first you 1772 01:36:16,400 --> 01:36:19,120 Speaker 1: don't succeed, then maybe you should try again. Well I'm 1773 01:36:19,120 --> 01:36:21,839 Speaker 1: gonna jump right into it because on the fourth version 1774 01:36:22,280 --> 01:36:24,240 Speaker 1: if we talk. In the book, it talks about shame, 1775 01:36:24,920 --> 01:36:27,120 Speaker 1: and shame is always tied to failure because I'm gonna 1776 01:36:27,120 --> 01:36:28,439 Speaker 1: go right there, because I wanted to talk about the 1777 01:36:28,520 --> 01:36:31,000 Speaker 1: version because I feel that that stops a lot of people, 1778 01:36:31,080 --> 01:36:33,760 Speaker 1: you know, the fear of failure, fear what people would think. 1779 01:36:34,040 --> 01:36:36,280 Speaker 1: And I thought that chapter should be the proper chapter 1780 01:36:36,360 --> 01:36:39,519 Speaker 1: to start out in this conversation with because I think 1781 01:36:39,600 --> 01:36:42,240 Speaker 1: it stops a tremendous amount of people. I'm not gonna 1782 01:36:42,280 --> 01:36:44,719 Speaker 1: put a percentage on that, but I know I talked 1783 01:36:44,760 --> 01:36:47,800 Speaker 1: to a lot of people, I'm motivating a lot of people, 1784 01:36:47,840 --> 01:36:50,679 Speaker 1: and it's always tied to the what if. So talking 1785 01:36:50,680 --> 01:36:53,920 Speaker 1: about the fourth Version and that shame and the fear 1786 01:36:53,960 --> 01:36:57,559 Speaker 1: of failure wrapped up into that chapter, well, you know, 1787 01:36:57,960 --> 01:37:00,840 Speaker 1: there can be a lot of what are people thinking 1788 01:37:00,880 --> 01:37:05,040 Speaker 1: about this? What are are people going to shame me? 1789 01:37:05,080 --> 01:37:07,000 Speaker 1: How much of that shame is something that I put 1790 01:37:07,000 --> 01:37:11,360 Speaker 1: on myself? What are the expected? Who's writing the rules? 1791 01:37:11,880 --> 01:37:14,120 Speaker 1: At some point you got to ask yourself that question. 1792 01:37:14,640 --> 01:37:17,080 Speaker 1: Who's making up the rules to say this is how 1793 01:37:17,160 --> 01:37:20,320 Speaker 1: things have to look? And so at some point you 1794 01:37:20,360 --> 01:37:23,240 Speaker 1: gotta wake up and go, Okay, what what what do 1795 01:37:23,320 --> 01:37:25,720 Speaker 1: I what do I actually really want to do and 1796 01:37:25,880 --> 01:37:27,919 Speaker 1: do I believe that it can actually make a difference 1797 01:37:27,960 --> 01:37:30,080 Speaker 1: and add value to people's life. And if it can, 1798 01:37:30,760 --> 01:37:33,160 Speaker 1: then we should just go for it and not wait 1799 01:37:33,200 --> 01:37:36,320 Speaker 1: for other people's permission to do what God has already 1800 01:37:36,320 --> 01:37:38,960 Speaker 1: gifted us to do. And so sometimes we're looking for 1801 01:37:39,080 --> 01:37:43,240 Speaker 1: somebody else's approval before we make decisions or take next steps, 1802 01:37:43,640 --> 01:37:46,120 Speaker 1: and there's so much of a now, how are they 1803 01:37:46,200 --> 01:37:48,960 Speaker 1: going to make me feel? But what I've tried to 1804 01:37:49,000 --> 01:37:51,400 Speaker 1: do in this book is almost reverse that, a little 1805 01:37:51,400 --> 01:37:52,920 Speaker 1: bit of going, hey, you know, you you need to 1806 01:37:52,960 --> 01:37:55,759 Speaker 1: make a decision about how you're going to feel before 1807 01:37:55,840 --> 01:37:59,120 Speaker 1: you do something, not acting. You know, it's really interesting 1808 01:37:59,120 --> 01:38:01,559 Speaker 1: because I I wat that quote and it came from 1809 01:38:01,560 --> 01:38:05,040 Speaker 1: the foreword of your book. Kids can dream uninterrupted because 1810 01:38:05,080 --> 01:38:07,519 Speaker 1: their failure has not yet become something that they fear. 1811 01:38:08,240 --> 01:38:11,479 Speaker 1: And and we always I have a daughter, and I 1812 01:38:11,560 --> 01:38:13,720 Speaker 1: was always the kids always. I remember as a kid, 1813 01:38:13,760 --> 01:38:15,920 Speaker 1: I could sitting down looking at the television show and 1814 01:38:15,960 --> 01:38:17,880 Speaker 1: I wanted to be on TV or I wanted to 1815 01:38:18,560 --> 01:38:21,280 Speaker 1: I remember I wanted to saw some things off short, 1816 01:38:21,360 --> 01:38:23,280 Speaker 1: I wanted to I wanted to work off shore, and 1817 01:38:23,280 --> 01:38:26,400 Speaker 1: eventually in life I did work off shore, and so 1818 01:38:26,840 --> 01:38:29,799 Speaker 1: how I got there was it tied to my wish 1819 01:38:29,920 --> 01:38:32,400 Speaker 1: as a kid. All I know is nobody stopped me 1820 01:38:33,000 --> 01:38:35,720 Speaker 1: from that dream or that process. And so when I 1821 01:38:35,760 --> 01:38:37,320 Speaker 1: look at you, I know that that's the word has 1822 01:38:37,320 --> 01:38:39,599 Speaker 1: been out there a lot because of the Philadelphia seven 1823 01:38:39,600 --> 01:38:43,120 Speaker 1: and six is the process? There's a process. When you're 1824 01:38:43,120 --> 01:38:46,720 Speaker 1: talking Ryan about chasing your dreams in your book, when 1825 01:38:46,760 --> 01:38:49,320 Speaker 1: I said it right here, you outline it. What is 1826 01:38:49,320 --> 01:38:52,560 Speaker 1: the process? Let's start there. Is it just having the 1827 01:38:52,680 --> 01:38:55,280 Speaker 1: idea or just having the aspiration, but what is the 1828 01:38:55,360 --> 01:39:00,120 Speaker 1: process of fulfilling or chasing your dream? Well, I go 1829 01:39:00,360 --> 01:39:02,720 Speaker 1: often happens. You know, people ask me, Ryan, do you 1830 01:39:02,760 --> 01:39:06,320 Speaker 1: really believe that I should shoot for the moon? I 1831 01:39:06,360 --> 01:39:09,360 Speaker 1: say absolutely. You just need to know what it costs 1832 01:39:09,360 --> 01:39:12,320 Speaker 1: to get to the moon. You should also know that 1833 01:39:12,560 --> 01:39:16,920 Speaker 1: very few people have ever actually made it to the moon. 1834 01:39:17,240 --> 01:39:19,439 Speaker 1: You should also know that there are a lot of 1835 01:39:19,439 --> 01:39:21,760 Speaker 1: people that help other people get to the moon. They 1836 01:39:21,840 --> 01:39:24,120 Speaker 1: work at NASA. Do you know how hard it is 1837 01:39:24,479 --> 01:39:28,919 Speaker 1: to get accepted at NASA? It is literally eighty times 1838 01:39:29,160 --> 01:39:33,160 Speaker 1: harder to get accepted in the massa than it is harder. 1839 01:39:33,960 --> 01:39:36,919 Speaker 1: And so I'm always telling people, You've got to ask yourself, 1840 01:39:37,479 --> 01:39:40,640 Speaker 1: is your idea, is your dream? Is your goal a 1841 01:39:40,760 --> 01:39:44,280 Speaker 1: top one percenter? Because if it's a top one percenter 1842 01:39:44,400 --> 01:39:48,799 Speaker 1: type idea, a top one percenter type dream, you better 1843 01:39:48,840 --> 01:39:52,840 Speaker 1: have top one percenter type habits. You better have top 1844 01:39:52,920 --> 01:39:56,760 Speaker 1: one percenter type disciplines. Your schedule should look like the 1845 01:39:56,880 --> 01:40:00,800 Speaker 1: top one percenter. Your money should be spent top one 1846 01:40:00,880 --> 01:40:05,160 Speaker 1: percenters spend their money. And so oftentimes what I'm encountering 1847 01:40:05,320 --> 01:40:09,600 Speaker 1: is people have top one percent of dreams with percentile 1848 01:40:09,960 --> 01:40:15,400 Speaker 1: tight habits and expecting extraordinary results from ordinary habits, and 1849 01:40:15,439 --> 01:40:18,080 Speaker 1: that's just not how it works. And so part of 1850 01:40:18,080 --> 01:40:24,040 Speaker 1: the processes is actually evaluating, Okay, where is my idea, 1851 01:40:24,120 --> 01:40:27,519 Speaker 1: where is my goal, and being able to assess, Okay, 1852 01:40:27,520 --> 01:40:29,120 Speaker 1: how hard is this going to be pull off? And 1853 01:40:29,200 --> 01:40:31,200 Speaker 1: what is it going to cost me in terms of 1854 01:40:31,240 --> 01:40:35,960 Speaker 1: my time, my finances, even relationships to pull this thing off. 1855 01:40:36,200 --> 01:40:38,559 Speaker 1: And that's where I think people often missed the mark. 1856 01:40:38,640 --> 01:40:41,760 Speaker 1: And actually the reason why they fail is because they 1857 01:40:41,920 --> 01:40:44,439 Speaker 1: failed to actually do the pre planning to actually make 1858 01:40:44,439 --> 01:40:47,280 Speaker 1: your idea have well, isn't it Ryan also tied to 1859 01:40:47,840 --> 01:40:50,640 Speaker 1: people's perception of what they feel you should be or 1860 01:40:50,720 --> 01:40:53,280 Speaker 1: you could be or you should be, and you're not 1861 01:40:53,439 --> 01:40:56,719 Speaker 1: evaluating properly what you want it to be in your life, 1862 01:40:56,760 --> 01:40:59,000 Speaker 1: what the path you want to take, because you hit 1863 01:40:59,040 --> 01:41:00,680 Speaker 1: on that in the book, But I just want to 1864 01:41:00,720 --> 01:41:02,720 Speaker 1: pull that out and let people hear that coming out 1865 01:41:02,840 --> 01:41:06,000 Speaker 1: coming from you in particularly because you know you you 1866 01:41:06,040 --> 01:41:08,240 Speaker 1: could be a great athlete. People think you should go 1867 01:41:08,320 --> 01:41:10,439 Speaker 1: into sports, but then you may have the desire to 1868 01:41:10,439 --> 01:41:13,360 Speaker 1: be a doctor, and so so you have to shift. 1869 01:41:13,720 --> 01:41:15,360 Speaker 1: In the end, like you said, you have to be 1870 01:41:15,400 --> 01:41:19,280 Speaker 1: happy with you, and you're chasing failure and setting yourself up. 1871 01:41:19,360 --> 01:41:23,360 Speaker 1: Success is the success what you want or success you're 1872 01:41:23,400 --> 01:41:25,800 Speaker 1: trying to achieve for somebody else. Let's talk about that 1873 01:41:25,840 --> 01:41:29,960 Speaker 1: a little bit. Absolutely, Yeah, I think that. I like 1874 01:41:30,000 --> 01:41:32,160 Speaker 1: to say God has a plan for your life, and 1875 01:41:32,200 --> 01:41:36,120 Speaker 1: so do other people. Other people have a plan for 1876 01:41:36,240 --> 01:41:38,280 Speaker 1: where you should work, the car you should drive, the 1877 01:41:38,320 --> 01:41:40,559 Speaker 1: neighborhood you should live in, who you should date, what 1878 01:41:40,680 --> 01:41:42,680 Speaker 1: your kids should do, where your kids should work, where 1879 01:41:42,680 --> 01:41:45,560 Speaker 1: your kids should go to school. I mean, everyone's got 1880 01:41:45,720 --> 01:41:48,120 Speaker 1: their plans for your life, and at some point you 1881 01:41:48,120 --> 01:41:50,519 Speaker 1: gotta wake up and ask yourself, am I living out 1882 01:41:50,640 --> 01:41:52,559 Speaker 1: God's plan with my life? Or am I living out 1883 01:41:53,439 --> 01:41:57,040 Speaker 1: somebody else's plan for my life. And so some people 1884 01:41:57,920 --> 01:42:01,400 Speaker 1: I talked about in the book the story of Andrea Agassi, well, 1885 01:42:01,439 --> 01:42:03,280 Speaker 1: in his memoir I think he came out in two 1886 01:42:03,320 --> 01:42:08,320 Speaker 1: thousand nine he revealed that he didn't really love tennis. 1887 01:42:08,439 --> 01:42:10,679 Speaker 1: And you're going, how is one of the greatest tennis 1888 01:42:10,680 --> 01:42:13,599 Speaker 1: players of all time? How does he not like tennant? 1889 01:42:13,960 --> 01:42:16,479 Speaker 1: And he goes on to say, my dad like tennis, 1890 01:42:17,880 --> 01:42:21,320 Speaker 1: and and so here you and I and again. I 1891 01:42:21,360 --> 01:42:24,519 Speaker 1: just hope that nobody ever wakes up realizing they've been 1892 01:42:24,560 --> 01:42:28,360 Speaker 1: living out somebody else's passion, somebody else's dream. I can't 1893 01:42:28,400 --> 01:42:30,439 Speaker 1: tell you how many times I've sat would stay at 1894 01:42:30,479 --> 01:42:34,719 Speaker 1: home moms who are now entrepreneurs, and when they first 1895 01:42:34,800 --> 01:42:37,320 Speaker 1: had the ability to stay at home because their husbands 1896 01:42:37,320 --> 01:42:39,840 Speaker 1: made enough money for them to do so, people would 1897 01:42:39,840 --> 01:42:43,200 Speaker 1: say to them, you're living a dream, You're living a dream, 1898 01:42:43,240 --> 01:42:48,360 Speaker 1: and they would be going whose dream? Whose dream? That 1899 01:42:48,439 --> 01:42:51,559 Speaker 1: might be your dream? But who who said that it's 1900 01:42:51,720 --> 01:42:54,280 Speaker 1: my dream? And so there can be some assumptions that 1901 01:42:54,320 --> 01:42:57,599 Speaker 1: we all have of oh, they've got it made, they 1902 01:42:57,640 --> 01:43:00,680 Speaker 1: they've they've got it good because as an X, Y 1903 01:43:00,720 --> 01:43:02,800 Speaker 1: and Z. But that doesn't mean that that's something that 1904 01:43:02,840 --> 01:43:05,920 Speaker 1: they actually want it. And so so those are things 1905 01:43:05,920 --> 01:43:08,559 Speaker 1: that I think we all have to navigate ourselves to go, Okay, 1906 01:43:08,720 --> 01:43:10,840 Speaker 1: is this something that is a true desire of my 1907 01:43:10,960 --> 01:43:13,719 Speaker 1: heart to do? Or am I doing it because someone 1908 01:43:13,760 --> 01:43:16,439 Speaker 1: else has either pressured me to do it or that 1909 01:43:16,520 --> 01:43:19,240 Speaker 1: was just part of the expectation. I can't tell you 1910 01:43:19,280 --> 01:43:23,040 Speaker 1: how many business owners are just doing the family business 1911 01:43:23,120 --> 01:43:28,720 Speaker 1: just because it's the family business and haven't paused long 1912 01:43:28,840 --> 01:43:31,519 Speaker 1: enough to go what else would you do? And there 1913 01:43:31,600 --> 01:43:33,639 Speaker 1: was so much pressure on them from a very early 1914 01:43:33,680 --> 01:43:36,479 Speaker 1: age that you're going to take this business. In some cases, 1915 01:43:36,479 --> 01:43:39,000 Speaker 1: you're gonna take this church, you're going to take this 1916 01:43:39,479 --> 01:43:43,160 Speaker 1: up of this medical practice, you're going to take this 1917 01:43:43,479 --> 01:43:47,040 Speaker 1: family law. You're and so that that can bring about 1918 01:43:47,080 --> 01:43:50,160 Speaker 1: tremendous pressure of going You've already filled in the blank 1919 01:43:50,760 --> 01:43:53,320 Speaker 1: with my future. And so some people don't feel the 1920 01:43:53,360 --> 01:43:56,120 Speaker 1: permission to start over and have a clean slate. And 1921 01:43:56,160 --> 01:43:59,120 Speaker 1: I like to just tell them who's making those rules. 1922 01:43:59,720 --> 01:44:02,599 Speaker 1: And and you know, you're in your thirties and forties, 1923 01:44:02,760 --> 01:44:04,639 Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure you get to make a decision about 1924 01:44:04,680 --> 01:44:06,200 Speaker 1: what you want to do in your life. Well, you know, 1925 01:44:06,200 --> 01:44:08,160 Speaker 1: it's really interesting because I would like to share and 1926 01:44:08,200 --> 01:44:12,080 Speaker 1: be honest about you know, characterization and examples, you know, 1927 01:44:12,520 --> 01:44:15,920 Speaker 1: chasing failure. I'm talking to Ryan Leek, how falling shorts 1928 01:44:15,960 --> 01:44:19,479 Speaker 1: set you up for success? I know that early on 1929 01:44:19,560 --> 01:44:22,440 Speaker 1: in my life. You know, my degree is in mathematics, marning, sociology. 1930 01:44:22,479 --> 01:44:25,280 Speaker 1: But I was very talented stand up did everything, deaf comedy, 1931 01:44:25,360 --> 01:44:28,640 Speaker 1: jam did the t common view everything, you know, so 1932 01:44:28,800 --> 01:44:31,960 Speaker 1: one that shared stage with everybody from Dave Chappelle to 1933 01:44:32,120 --> 01:44:36,800 Speaker 1: Chris Rock to Martin Lawrence. But that wasn't my goal. 1934 01:44:37,000 --> 01:44:39,280 Speaker 1: That wasn't my I just God just gave me that talent. 1935 01:44:39,360 --> 01:44:41,559 Speaker 1: But everybody saw that as my own game. And so 1936 01:44:41,920 --> 01:44:44,679 Speaker 1: when I went to manage Steve Harvey, people were questioning 1937 01:44:44,720 --> 01:44:48,720 Speaker 1: that decision. I was very happy, but people were questioning that. 1938 01:44:48,960 --> 01:44:50,360 Speaker 1: I told this is what I want to do. I 1939 01:44:51,000 --> 01:44:53,439 Speaker 1: love being behind the camera. God gave me a gift 1940 01:44:53,479 --> 01:44:55,040 Speaker 1: to be in front of the camera. I actually love 1941 01:44:55,120 --> 01:44:57,759 Speaker 1: being behind the camera. And I point that out because 1942 01:44:58,120 --> 01:45:00,280 Speaker 1: that's a that was that's a blatant example. Even though 1943 01:45:00,320 --> 01:45:01,880 Speaker 1: I went out to pursue the career as a stand 1944 01:45:01,920 --> 01:45:04,479 Speaker 1: up comedian. That was my exit plan from my PM. 1945 01:45:04,880 --> 01:45:07,639 Speaker 1: But that wasn't my end plan, and so sometimes people 1946 01:45:07,680 --> 01:45:10,639 Speaker 1: only see what they see. And if you have a plan, 1947 01:45:10,760 --> 01:45:12,880 Speaker 1: like you said in your thurs and forties, you should 1948 01:45:12,920 --> 01:45:15,840 Speaker 1: be in the position to make your own decisions. Absolutely, 1949 01:45:16,080 --> 01:45:18,680 Speaker 1: and that's really important. And a lot of these examples 1950 01:45:18,720 --> 01:45:22,080 Speaker 1: of whether you whether you're financially success or that's how 1951 01:45:22,200 --> 01:45:25,320 Speaker 1: to your popularity. That decision of where you go your 1952 01:45:25,520 --> 01:45:32,000 Speaker 1: end game is really tied to you correct right facts. Absolutely. 1953 01:45:32,200 --> 01:45:36,400 Speaker 1: I think people sometimes just get stuck in other people's 1954 01:45:36,400 --> 01:45:41,320 Speaker 1: plans because it's more comfortable. You won't get as much criticism. 1955 01:45:41,360 --> 01:45:44,800 Speaker 1: You can acquiesce to the status quo because no one 1956 01:45:44,840 --> 01:45:51,719 Speaker 1: will bother you, you think. But I think I think 1957 01:45:52,800 --> 01:45:58,719 Speaker 1: the world has been given the greatest inventions, the greatest 1958 01:45:58,720 --> 01:46:02,200 Speaker 1: innovations from people that stepped out and took risk. So 1959 01:46:03,040 --> 01:46:06,280 Speaker 1: I just encouraged people, Hey, if, if, if you can 1960 01:46:06,320 --> 01:46:11,080 Speaker 1: take a calculated risk. I'm not I'm not. It's chasing failure, 1961 01:46:11,080 --> 01:46:17,320 Speaker 1: it's not chasing foolishness. Okay, right, so, but taking calculated risks, yeah, 1962 01:46:17,560 --> 01:46:19,600 Speaker 1: I think you should. I think you should do a 1963 01:46:19,640 --> 01:46:24,240 Speaker 1: lot of math and if math makes sense, go ahead 1964 01:46:24,240 --> 01:46:26,320 Speaker 1: and go for you. You should make a move. You know. 1965 01:46:26,400 --> 01:46:28,759 Speaker 1: The interesting thing about it like I shared my story 1966 01:46:28,800 --> 01:46:33,280 Speaker 1: about my relationship with how as a stand up comedy 1967 01:46:33,320 --> 01:46:35,240 Speaker 1: I decided to go and become a writer and a 1968 01:46:35,320 --> 01:46:40,559 Speaker 1: very successful producer and marketing and branding expert um, even 1969 01:46:40,560 --> 01:46:43,000 Speaker 1: though that was my end game. Now, in your book, 1970 01:46:44,000 --> 01:46:46,120 Speaker 1: you shared what I felt was a very funny story 1971 01:46:46,200 --> 01:46:50,160 Speaker 1: was your NBA experience. And I say it was funny 1972 01:46:50,200 --> 01:46:52,599 Speaker 1: because that was a that was a that was a goal, 1973 01:46:53,160 --> 01:46:56,080 Speaker 1: but the way you approached it and how you pursued 1974 01:46:56,160 --> 01:46:59,880 Speaker 1: it was what is I think it's really what this 1975 01:47:00,040 --> 01:47:03,280 Speaker 1: book is all about. You know, you know, you know, 1976 01:47:03,360 --> 01:47:09,479 Speaker 1: emailing NBA teams randomly, emailing them right random, random and 1977 01:47:09,520 --> 01:47:11,559 Speaker 1: that right there when people say you shouldn't do that, 1978 01:47:11,680 --> 01:47:15,519 Speaker 1: but you're chasing failure because you're achieving success. Let's talk 1979 01:47:15,520 --> 01:47:19,479 Speaker 1: about that in the reality of people saying no to you, 1980 01:47:19,880 --> 01:47:22,479 Speaker 1: telling you that doesn't make any sense. And we hear 1981 01:47:22,520 --> 01:47:25,280 Speaker 1: that a lot about inventions. We hear a lot about 1982 01:47:25,479 --> 01:47:28,639 Speaker 1: free agents who make NFL teams. We have people who 1983 01:47:28,800 --> 01:47:32,439 Speaker 1: leave leave school early to pursue a career professionally, or 1984 01:47:32,560 --> 01:47:35,080 Speaker 1: going to a college while you're going to HBCU when 1985 01:47:35,080 --> 01:47:37,559 Speaker 1: you can go to our Harvard and achieving. Now we 1986 01:47:37,600 --> 01:47:40,320 Speaker 1: have a vice president of the United States. So these 1987 01:47:40,360 --> 01:47:42,160 Speaker 1: are the things that we hear all the time. But 1988 01:47:42,320 --> 01:47:47,080 Speaker 1: your pursuit of an NBA opportunity a trial is is 1989 01:47:47,160 --> 01:47:50,519 Speaker 1: dynamic and very entertaining from a from a writer's standpoint, 1990 01:47:50,680 --> 01:47:53,320 Speaker 1: but from a personal it was a passion. Let's talk 1991 01:47:53,320 --> 01:47:56,800 Speaker 1: about that well. That I think whenever you're trying to 1992 01:47:56,840 --> 01:47:58,839 Speaker 1: do something, people are always going to have their opinions 1993 01:47:58,840 --> 01:48:01,360 Speaker 1: about what you're trying to do, and you can't let 1994 01:48:01,400 --> 01:48:05,560 Speaker 1: that cloud your end goal. And you also have to realize, 1995 01:48:05,640 --> 01:48:08,799 Speaker 1: for me, you know, trying to get an NBA workout 1996 01:48:09,320 --> 01:48:16,480 Speaker 1: via email, but it's not I would agree with my naysayers, 1997 01:48:16,560 --> 01:48:20,519 Speaker 1: like that's not a great idea. That's fine, I'm still 1998 01:48:20,560 --> 01:48:22,519 Speaker 1: going to do it because I don't have anything else 1999 01:48:22,840 --> 01:48:28,280 Speaker 1: and I'm chasing failure, and so what's the worst that 2000 01:48:28,320 --> 01:48:32,479 Speaker 1: can actually happen? A they don't respond at all, be 2001 01:48:33,240 --> 01:48:38,200 Speaker 1: they say no or see they say yes. Those are 2002 01:48:38,240 --> 01:48:41,000 Speaker 1: the options, and you won't know which of those options 2003 01:48:41,000 --> 01:48:45,320 Speaker 1: you're gonna get if you do nothing. And so I 2004 01:48:45,320 --> 01:48:47,639 Speaker 1: think so many people are afraid of the word no, 2005 01:48:47,840 --> 01:48:51,759 Speaker 1: But it's just a two letter word. That's it. No. 2006 01:48:51,920 --> 01:48:55,519 Speaker 1: I just said it, no, No, no, And so I 2007 01:48:55,520 --> 01:48:59,080 Speaker 1: think so many people can get devastated by the word no. 2008 01:48:59,400 --> 01:49:05,719 Speaker 1: But it just man, no, right, you gotta keep moving, right, 2009 01:49:05,560 --> 01:49:08,640 Speaker 1: I know that, you know growing up, you know how 2010 01:49:08,720 --> 01:49:10,400 Speaker 1: a friend of mine, he said, Rishon, just know he 2011 01:49:10,400 --> 01:49:12,760 Speaker 1: would ask every girl in the dance club. In the 2012 01:49:12,880 --> 01:49:15,880 Speaker 1: nightclub to dance, he said, said, he said, may no, 2013 01:49:15,960 --> 01:49:17,840 Speaker 1: he's not gonna shoot me. No, it's not gonna turn 2014 01:49:17,840 --> 01:49:20,519 Speaker 1: me that. But when they said yes, I'm winning. And 2015 01:49:20,560 --> 01:49:24,080 Speaker 1: so he was chasing failure by asking all these different 2016 01:49:24,080 --> 01:49:26,519 Speaker 1: women who may or may not udate him. But when 2017 01:49:26,520 --> 01:49:29,880 Speaker 1: he got there, yes, he won. And so that simple example, right, 2018 01:49:29,920 --> 01:49:34,080 Speaker 1: there's what we're talking about in life. Correct. But but 2019 01:49:34,080 --> 01:49:36,400 Speaker 1: but but the ultimate thing when you talk about this 2020 01:49:36,439 --> 01:49:38,599 Speaker 1: book is the you know when you said, at what 2021 01:49:38,640 --> 01:49:40,960 Speaker 1: moment did you find your why? What advice can you 2022 01:49:40,960 --> 01:49:44,720 Speaker 1: give others looking to find theirs? Because I don't know 2023 01:49:44,760 --> 01:49:47,160 Speaker 1: if I found my why. I'll be honest with you, Ryan, 2024 01:49:47,160 --> 01:49:50,559 Speaker 1: because I'm always moving, to moving the needle for the 2025 01:49:50,600 --> 01:49:53,920 Speaker 1: next opportunity. But I do know that my why is 2026 01:49:53,960 --> 01:49:56,040 Speaker 1: that I'm living the life that I want to live. 2027 01:49:56,080 --> 01:49:58,519 Speaker 1: I left I be You know, I have a degree 2028 01:49:58,560 --> 01:50:01,280 Speaker 1: in mathematics. You know, I have a family that I'm 2029 01:50:01,320 --> 01:50:04,599 Speaker 1: happy to call my wife and my daughter and my 2030 01:50:04,600 --> 01:50:07,920 Speaker 1: my the staff that works around me support me. Building 2031 01:50:07,960 --> 01:50:10,040 Speaker 1: on that bought is the building of my dreams are 2032 01:50:10,080 --> 01:50:13,719 Speaker 1: called by dreams that that may be the why. But again, 2033 01:50:14,240 --> 01:50:16,880 Speaker 1: what what advice can you give the others looking for theirs? 2034 01:50:16,960 --> 01:50:20,839 Speaker 1: And how do they find it? Yeah? I think finding 2035 01:50:20,840 --> 01:50:23,320 Speaker 1: your why is a journey. I don't know that there's 2036 01:50:23,360 --> 01:50:26,200 Speaker 1: a prime age to to get it or a prime season, 2037 01:50:26,320 --> 01:50:28,479 Speaker 1: but when you get it, it will change your life. 2038 01:50:28,800 --> 01:50:32,400 Speaker 1: And for me, I found my why. I was working 2039 01:50:32,439 --> 01:50:35,000 Speaker 1: at a church. I was on our executive team, and 2040 01:50:35,040 --> 01:50:38,160 Speaker 1: so I was helping manage a lot of different systems 2041 01:50:38,320 --> 01:50:40,640 Speaker 1: at a at a large church in Dallas, and I 2042 01:50:40,720 --> 01:50:43,600 Speaker 1: was twenty nine years old, and I was doing a 2043 01:50:43,640 --> 01:50:48,519 Speaker 1: speaking gig talking about chasing failure um at a at 2044 01:50:48,600 --> 01:50:51,280 Speaker 1: at a at a corporate engagement, and the person that 2045 01:50:51,360 --> 01:50:53,120 Speaker 1: brought me in was like, hey, I want you to 2046 01:50:53,120 --> 01:50:57,320 Speaker 1: know your story. You know, literally pulled a boy off 2047 01:50:57,320 --> 01:51:00,920 Speaker 1: the ground and literally he was in a crack house 2048 01:51:01,280 --> 01:51:04,760 Speaker 1: on the ground and and and she said, hey, you know, 2049 01:51:05,439 --> 01:51:08,080 Speaker 1: we disapprove of our daughter's boyfriend. And that was just kid. 2050 01:51:08,120 --> 01:51:10,559 Speaker 1: It was his kid, but he does love basketball. We 2051 01:51:10,600 --> 01:51:13,719 Speaker 1: showed him your documentary and now he's applying for jobs. 2052 01:51:13,720 --> 01:51:15,800 Speaker 1: He called his mom for the first time. You know 2053 01:51:15,840 --> 01:51:18,400 Speaker 1: he's going to be playing sports and a junior college 2054 01:51:18,400 --> 01:51:21,679 Speaker 1: as fall like you pulled somebody's life off the ground. 2055 01:51:21,800 --> 01:51:24,120 Speaker 1: Until for me, that was the day I got my 2056 01:51:24,240 --> 01:51:27,720 Speaker 1: why and it and I enjoyed my twenties, but that 2057 01:51:27,760 --> 01:51:30,160 Speaker 1: gave my thirties a whole new purpose. And I said, 2058 01:51:30,160 --> 01:51:31,960 Speaker 1: I want to spend the rest of my life helping 2059 01:51:31,960 --> 01:51:34,559 Speaker 1: poll people's lives off the floor. In every room I 2060 01:51:34,640 --> 01:51:36,880 Speaker 1: walk in, I want to add value. And so that's 2061 01:51:36,920 --> 01:51:40,120 Speaker 1: the filter in which I live my life. That's my why. 2062 01:51:40,360 --> 01:51:43,120 Speaker 1: Is this adding value to the most people that I 2063 01:51:43,200 --> 01:51:46,360 Speaker 1: possibly can with the twenty four hours I've been given today? 2064 01:51:46,640 --> 01:51:49,080 Speaker 1: And so I'm going, I'm on your show right now, 2065 01:51:49,439 --> 01:51:53,400 Speaker 1: processing through how can I add value to your viewers 2066 01:51:53,439 --> 01:51:55,320 Speaker 1: and your listeners. I write a book, and I think 2067 01:51:55,360 --> 01:51:56,880 Speaker 1: who could pick up this book and is it going 2068 01:51:56,920 --> 01:51:59,720 Speaker 1: to add value to their life? And so when you 2069 01:51:59,800 --> 01:52:02,960 Speaker 1: have me why, it creates a filtration system for you 2070 01:52:03,000 --> 01:52:05,559 Speaker 1: to decide what you say yes to you and what 2071 01:52:05,680 --> 01:52:08,200 Speaker 1: you say no to to go? Does it does it serve? 2072 01:52:08,720 --> 01:52:11,080 Speaker 1: Does it serve my why. I'm not going to judge 2073 01:52:11,080 --> 01:52:15,040 Speaker 1: your why because some people's why is money, and that 2074 01:52:15,240 --> 01:52:18,400 Speaker 1: that's kind of what. Hey, I'm I'm trying to make 2075 01:52:18,439 --> 01:52:20,719 Speaker 1: as much money as I possibly can. For some people, 2076 01:52:20,720 --> 01:52:23,320 Speaker 1: I'm trying to make the greatest impact. For some people, 2077 01:52:23,360 --> 01:52:26,360 Speaker 1: it's I'm trying to have as much satisfaction as I 2078 01:52:26,439 --> 01:52:30,400 Speaker 1: possibly can. Everybody has a different why, and your why 2079 01:52:30,520 --> 01:52:33,920 Speaker 1: is your why. But when you don't have one, I 2080 01:52:33,960 --> 01:52:36,920 Speaker 1: think you you should be asking yourself the question why 2081 01:52:36,920 --> 01:52:40,120 Speaker 1: am I doing it? Sometimes it's just pausing at Some 2082 01:52:40,200 --> 01:52:42,240 Speaker 1: of us are moving out a pace that's so fast 2083 01:52:42,520 --> 01:52:46,080 Speaker 1: we haven't even paused long enough to go why am 2084 01:52:46,080 --> 01:52:49,840 Speaker 1: I doing it? Well? Why why am I? They're just moving? 2085 01:52:50,720 --> 01:52:53,519 Speaker 1: What's nice? What's next? What's next? So what I encourage 2086 01:52:53,520 --> 01:52:56,400 Speaker 1: a person to do is to pause. It's to pause. 2087 01:52:56,880 --> 01:52:59,000 Speaker 1: Sometimes that's an hour, sometimes it's a day, sometimes it's 2088 01:52:59,000 --> 01:53:01,320 Speaker 1: a week. Some time somebody needs to just go sit 2089 01:53:01,360 --> 01:53:03,880 Speaker 1: on a beach or sit under a cabana and just 2090 01:53:03,960 --> 01:53:08,680 Speaker 1: go what am I doing my life? And why am 2091 01:53:08,680 --> 01:53:13,080 Speaker 1: I doing that? And is that a why I can 2092 01:53:13,120 --> 01:53:15,240 Speaker 1: live with? Because for some people who are going, they're 2093 01:53:15,280 --> 01:53:17,120 Speaker 1: doing it for the money. But I know a lot 2094 01:53:17,160 --> 01:53:20,639 Speaker 1: of people who make a lot of money, but they're 2095 01:53:20,720 --> 01:53:23,720 Speaker 1: so busy making the money they never even get to 2096 01:53:23,800 --> 01:53:26,519 Speaker 1: spend it. Yes, I know people that have thirty five 2097 01:53:27,360 --> 01:53:32,920 Speaker 1: apartments that they're never in and it's going. I mean, 2098 01:53:34,000 --> 01:53:36,639 Speaker 1: maybe that's your why. One person could be a lawyer 2099 01:53:36,720 --> 01:53:38,640 Speaker 1: for the money. Another person could be a lawyer for 2100 01:53:38,680 --> 01:53:41,559 Speaker 1: the justice system. You or why is your why? But 2101 01:53:41,840 --> 01:53:44,840 Speaker 1: your why should be something that gets you out of 2102 01:53:44,880 --> 01:53:46,880 Speaker 1: bed in the morning and one that you can live with. 2103 01:53:47,640 --> 01:53:49,400 Speaker 1: We know it's important that you say that when I 2104 01:53:49,520 --> 01:53:51,320 Speaker 1: when I when I listened to your talk, you know, 2105 01:53:51,360 --> 01:53:53,800 Speaker 1: when you used to or added value. Because I always 2106 01:53:53,800 --> 01:53:57,240 Speaker 1: try to explain to people that your your early years 2107 01:53:57,280 --> 01:53:59,400 Speaker 1: eighteen or twenty five, is when you define what you 2108 01:53:59,439 --> 01:54:01,080 Speaker 1: want to do with your life. You know, that's when 2109 01:54:01,080 --> 01:54:03,479 Speaker 1: you ure, That's when you I guess you, like you 2110 01:54:03,479 --> 01:54:06,840 Speaker 1: said earlier, there's less fear. Your dreams are bigger, they're 2111 01:54:06,840 --> 01:54:09,919 Speaker 1: reachable because guess what, they're your dreams. You know, nobody's 2112 01:54:09,920 --> 01:54:12,439 Speaker 1: told you you could fail. When you're a teen, you're 2113 01:54:12,439 --> 01:54:15,160 Speaker 1: just walking out there. And so when I got into 2114 01:54:15,160 --> 01:54:17,880 Speaker 1: my forties was when I took responsibility of my life. 2115 01:54:18,000 --> 01:54:20,160 Speaker 1: When I say that, I mean admitted that this is 2116 01:54:20,200 --> 01:54:22,519 Speaker 1: my I guess you can say my wife. And when 2117 01:54:22,560 --> 01:54:24,200 Speaker 1: I look back when I was a teen, I realized 2118 01:54:24,240 --> 01:54:27,599 Speaker 1: that all my life, I've been adding value to people, 2119 01:54:27,800 --> 01:54:30,200 Speaker 1: you know, whether it was whether it was tutoring people 2120 01:54:30,240 --> 01:54:33,040 Speaker 1: who was who needed tutoring, whether it was during events, 2121 01:54:33,040 --> 01:54:35,680 Speaker 1: whether it was pleasing my fraternity in college, which changed 2122 01:54:35,720 --> 01:54:39,240 Speaker 1: my whole perspective on life within the community to uplift 2123 01:54:39,280 --> 01:54:42,680 Speaker 1: the whole process. The sitcoms that I wrote, the tours 2124 01:54:42,680 --> 01:54:44,880 Speaker 1: that I did, it was always about making people feel 2125 01:54:44,880 --> 01:54:47,480 Speaker 1: good and it wasn't really about the money. And even 2126 01:54:47,520 --> 01:54:49,240 Speaker 1: the sitcoms of the shows I took, whether it was 2127 01:54:49,280 --> 01:54:51,680 Speaker 1: Sister Sister, whether it's Jamie Foxx Show, whether it was 2128 01:54:51,880 --> 01:54:55,280 Speaker 1: The Parkers, whether it was Robert Townsend show, Uh Doing 2129 01:54:55,320 --> 01:54:57,680 Speaker 1: Family Feud or the Steve Harvey Talk Show, it was 2130 01:54:57,720 --> 01:55:00,680 Speaker 1: all about uplifting African Americans and showing us in a 2131 01:55:00,760 --> 01:55:04,160 Speaker 1: positive life and not the meaning the principles that we 2132 01:55:04,240 --> 01:55:05,880 Speaker 1: want to be. We just want to fit in, We 2133 01:55:05,960 --> 01:55:08,240 Speaker 1: just want to be appreciated with. And I guess when 2134 01:55:08,280 --> 01:55:10,440 Speaker 1: I bring that up right now, because when you talk 2135 01:55:10,520 --> 01:55:13,960 Speaker 1: about the why, when you talk about defining yourself, that's 2136 01:55:14,000 --> 01:55:16,400 Speaker 1: why It's important to read a book like this because 2137 01:55:16,800 --> 01:55:20,520 Speaker 1: sometimes you can walk through life not really understanding your value, 2138 01:55:21,000 --> 01:55:24,880 Speaker 1: but certain words like adding value, which I've never used 2139 01:55:24,880 --> 01:55:28,840 Speaker 1: in my life. By the way, Ryan, until read it 2140 01:55:28,880 --> 01:55:31,280 Speaker 1: in this book and heard you spoke it. Speak it 2141 01:55:31,360 --> 01:55:35,040 Speaker 1: on my show really locked in exactly who I am. 2142 01:55:35,800 --> 01:55:38,040 Speaker 1: And when I read it, I went, wow, I got 2143 01:55:38,040 --> 01:55:40,480 Speaker 1: to talk to this guy because and I was talking 2144 01:55:40,480 --> 01:55:42,400 Speaker 1: to Tristan, you know, my director and one of my 2145 01:55:42,480 --> 01:55:45,160 Speaker 1: EPs on the show money Making Conversation, and he was 2146 01:55:45,200 --> 01:55:47,200 Speaker 1: saying he was asking me because I got two copies. 2147 01:55:47,200 --> 01:55:49,160 Speaker 1: He said, Riean, should I read? I said, yeah, as 2148 01:55:49,200 --> 01:55:50,800 Speaker 1: you should read the book? He said why? I said, 2149 01:55:50,800 --> 01:55:53,600 Speaker 1: because you know you go through life and it will 2150 01:55:53,680 --> 01:55:56,600 Speaker 1: reinforce some of your values or something. The things you're 2151 01:55:56,680 --> 01:56:01,320 Speaker 1: doing and added adding value to people's lives is what 2152 01:56:01,360 --> 01:56:07,800 Speaker 1: I do. Yeah. And can I say this, If you 2153 01:56:07,960 --> 01:56:13,040 Speaker 1: want to make money in this world, every room you 2154 01:56:13,080 --> 01:56:16,560 Speaker 1: walk in, think to yourself, how can I add value 2155 01:56:16,640 --> 01:56:19,160 Speaker 1: to the error. If you do that the rest of 2156 01:56:19,200 --> 01:56:21,440 Speaker 1: your life, you will always make money because you will 2157 01:56:21,480 --> 01:56:24,720 Speaker 1: always be coming up if idea is that add value 2158 01:56:25,000 --> 01:56:26,720 Speaker 1: to the room. And sometimes you have to ask the 2159 01:56:26,760 --> 01:56:30,040 Speaker 1: room what would add the most value. What is it 2160 01:56:30,120 --> 01:56:33,800 Speaker 1: that people need? What is a problem that everybody continues 2161 01:56:33,840 --> 01:56:36,720 Speaker 1: to have. If you can come up with solutions that 2162 01:56:36,760 --> 01:56:40,600 Speaker 1: add value to solve those problems, you will always be 2163 01:56:40,760 --> 01:56:43,640 Speaker 1: making money in some way, shape or form. If you 2164 01:56:43,680 --> 01:56:45,880 Speaker 1: walk into every job that you have and go, how 2165 01:56:45,920 --> 01:56:47,920 Speaker 1: can I add value to our customers? How can I 2166 01:56:47,920 --> 01:56:50,200 Speaker 1: add value to my leader? How can I add value 2167 01:56:50,200 --> 01:56:53,160 Speaker 1: to the CEO? How can I add value to my director, 2168 01:56:53,320 --> 01:56:56,240 Speaker 1: my regional manager, you name it. If you're constantly thinking 2169 01:56:56,240 --> 01:56:59,440 Speaker 1: about adding value, you will always be making money. I 2170 01:56:59,480 --> 01:57:01,760 Speaker 1: want to I want to clothes on this statement from you, 2171 01:57:01,800 --> 01:57:03,960 Speaker 1: because it's a really good question. I had my questions 2172 01:57:03,960 --> 01:57:06,480 Speaker 1: and you were sitting. I was sent questions by Sure 2173 01:57:06,760 --> 01:57:08,560 Speaker 1: for the interview, and one of the questions I have 2174 01:57:08,640 --> 01:57:11,920 Speaker 1: to ask it's like, how do you network within your failures? 2175 01:57:11,960 --> 01:57:13,880 Speaker 1: When I say that is that I thought that was 2176 01:57:13,920 --> 01:57:16,680 Speaker 1: the most important question that that I needed to get 2177 01:57:16,680 --> 01:57:20,880 Speaker 1: asked after this interview, because failure stops us. Failure chams 2178 01:57:20,960 --> 01:57:25,120 Speaker 1: us failures stops us from actually pursuing our dream because 2179 01:57:25,320 --> 01:57:27,880 Speaker 1: I feel I'm not gonna try it again. And so 2180 01:57:28,360 --> 01:57:32,520 Speaker 1: how does one network within their failures to achieve their goals? 2181 01:57:33,960 --> 01:57:39,200 Speaker 1: On it, on it on it. Walk in the room, man, 2182 01:57:39,240 --> 01:57:42,880 Speaker 1: I failed, haven't you right? You? You? You have you 2183 01:57:42,920 --> 01:57:45,560 Speaker 1: ever walked in a room full of perfect people? I haven't. 2184 01:57:46,280 --> 01:57:48,320 Speaker 1: And so yeah, all of us can walk in the 2185 01:57:48,440 --> 01:57:50,800 Speaker 1: room and networking event you feel like, well, let me 2186 01:57:50,840 --> 01:57:54,000 Speaker 1: just me hide, let me hide my shame, let me 2187 01:57:54,240 --> 01:57:56,040 Speaker 1: I don't want them to know that I felt. I 2188 01:57:56,040 --> 01:57:58,320 Speaker 1: don't want them to know that I've made some mistakes. 2189 01:57:58,360 --> 01:58:01,640 Speaker 1: But the common denominator amongst us all is that we 2190 01:58:01,760 --> 01:58:05,400 Speaker 1: all have failures. We all have mistakes. So be the 2191 01:58:05,440 --> 01:58:09,400 Speaker 1: first one in the room to own it and just go, yeah, 2192 01:58:09,120 --> 01:58:13,200 Speaker 1: I failed. What's the difference. I just owned it, and 2193 01:58:13,240 --> 01:58:15,280 Speaker 1: I owned it with a smile on my face. And 2194 01:58:15,360 --> 01:58:18,400 Speaker 1: typically what happens when you own at first, somebody else 2195 01:58:18,480 --> 01:58:21,240 Speaker 1: goes second. In fact, when you own your own failures, 2196 01:58:21,560 --> 01:58:24,360 Speaker 1: you give permission in space for others to fail. And 2197 01:58:24,400 --> 01:58:26,960 Speaker 1: that's what a lot of people I think missed is. 2198 01:58:27,480 --> 01:58:30,560 Speaker 1: Failure has this ability to isolate you and put you 2199 01:58:30,600 --> 01:58:32,800 Speaker 1: on this mental island where you feel like you're the 2200 01:58:32,880 --> 01:58:38,200 Speaker 1: only one that's ever failed. That's just not true. You're 2201 01:58:38,240 --> 01:58:41,200 Speaker 1: in a very very long line, there's a lot of 2202 01:58:41,200 --> 01:58:43,240 Speaker 1: people in front of you, and there's a lot of 2203 01:58:43,280 --> 01:58:47,160 Speaker 1: people behind you. And so I think even in networking, 2204 01:58:47,240 --> 01:58:48,960 Speaker 1: I think you just you just got to own it. 2205 01:58:49,160 --> 01:58:51,280 Speaker 1: Are there going to be some people that look down 2206 01:58:51,400 --> 01:58:54,320 Speaker 1: on you. Yeah, that's just because they haven't been able 2207 01:58:54,360 --> 01:58:57,640 Speaker 1: to admit their own failures out loud either, And so 2208 01:58:57,840 --> 01:59:00,520 Speaker 1: on some level or another, you've got to own it 2209 01:59:00,800 --> 01:59:03,680 Speaker 1: and take lessons from your past failures. Are going. Hey, 2210 01:59:03,840 --> 01:59:05,800 Speaker 1: I don't want to fail the same way over and 2211 01:59:05,840 --> 01:59:08,600 Speaker 1: over again. I'm taking notes and I'm getting better, but 2212 01:59:08,640 --> 01:59:10,680 Speaker 1: I'm gonna own up to the fact that I've made 2213 01:59:10,680 --> 01:59:13,440 Speaker 1: some mistakes and that I fail. I am human, But 2214 01:59:13,600 --> 01:59:16,120 Speaker 1: I am getting back on the horse and I'm moving off. 2215 01:59:16,400 --> 01:59:19,360 Speaker 1: Whether the beauty of this conversation is our conversation that 2216 01:59:19,400 --> 01:59:22,560 Speaker 1: we had today, Ryan, It's not about money, It's about you. 2217 01:59:22,840 --> 01:59:26,960 Speaker 1: It's about adding value of yourself, Uh, seeing yourself through failures, 2218 01:59:27,160 --> 01:59:30,360 Speaker 1: owning that failure, and then finding how you can achieve 2219 01:59:30,360 --> 01:59:34,840 Speaker 1: success from that failure. And but more importantly, is not 2220 01:59:34,920 --> 01:59:39,080 Speaker 1: positioning yourself by saying no to an opportunity that you 2221 01:59:39,120 --> 01:59:42,680 Speaker 1: haven't even pursued. And an example I want to give. 2222 01:59:42,760 --> 01:59:44,720 Speaker 1: It was always always stuck in my mind because your 2223 01:59:44,720 --> 01:59:46,400 Speaker 1: book is full of examples, and I don't want to 2224 01:59:46,440 --> 01:59:49,040 Speaker 1: give away these fantastic examples, so I can take examples 2225 01:59:49,040 --> 01:59:51,920 Speaker 1: from my life. It was this comedy club in the 2226 01:59:51,920 --> 01:59:54,880 Speaker 1: Boston here called stev D's. It was packed Thursday night, 2227 01:59:54,880 --> 01:59:57,720 Speaker 1: even don't do commedy on Thursday night. And uh, and 2228 01:59:57,800 --> 02:00:01,680 Speaker 1: you go in there and it was picture of every 2229 02:00:01,720 --> 02:00:05,800 Speaker 1: major celebrity in the world on the wall. It was 2230 02:00:05,840 --> 02:00:10,080 Speaker 1: like stunning to me. How did this guy get all 2231 02:00:10,080 --> 02:00:13,680 Speaker 1: these there was autographed to TV Stevie, Stevie Stevie. And 2232 02:00:13,760 --> 02:00:15,600 Speaker 1: one day I sat down and said, that's a that's 2233 02:00:15,600 --> 02:00:18,080 Speaker 1: a that's a Stevie. Can I ask you a question? 2234 02:00:18,600 --> 02:00:23,000 Speaker 1: Do you know these people? Nope? I said, so how 2235 02:00:23,000 --> 02:00:25,080 Speaker 1: did you get there? He said? I just emailed. I 2236 02:00:25,160 --> 02:00:27,440 Speaker 1: just mailed back. Then with mailing, he said, I just 2237 02:00:27,480 --> 02:00:30,080 Speaker 1: mailed him, asked him he could give me an autograph 2238 02:00:30,120 --> 02:00:32,760 Speaker 1: photo of themselves and sign it to me, and I 2239 02:00:32,840 --> 02:00:34,720 Speaker 1: just put it on the wall. So everybody who comes 2240 02:00:34,760 --> 02:00:38,600 Speaker 1: to the club because I know all these people, I said, wow. 2241 02:00:38,800 --> 02:00:43,400 Speaker 1: And that's the example. Fast forward, that's you emailing the 2242 02:00:43,520 --> 02:00:47,560 Speaker 1: NBA teams asking for a tryout, and then it happened. 2243 02:00:47,920 --> 02:00:50,440 Speaker 1: And guess what you learned something about your life. You 2244 02:00:50,520 --> 02:00:53,040 Speaker 1: added value to your life, and it also writes you 2245 02:00:53,080 --> 02:00:54,840 Speaker 1: on the course of where you should be taking your life. 2246 02:00:55,120 --> 02:00:58,600 Speaker 1: And so those two examples are examples of don't say 2247 02:00:58,680 --> 02:01:03,480 Speaker 1: no to yourself. Are pursuing the opportunity? Correct? Absolutely, I 2248 02:01:03,560 --> 02:01:05,800 Speaker 1: love that. I appreciate you man. Thank you for coming 2249 02:01:05,760 --> 02:01:10,760 Speaker 1: to conversations. Great book. Man's Chasing Failure, How falling short 2250 02:01:10,880 --> 02:01:13,960 Speaker 1: sets you up for success by my man Ryan Leek, 2251 02:01:14,240 --> 02:01:16,280 Speaker 1: Keep winning And I know you're in Dallas. I'm a 2252 02:01:16,320 --> 02:01:19,880 Speaker 1: Houston boy. I'm gonna let you off the hook. Okay, 2253 02:01:20,120 --> 02:01:24,720 Speaker 1: I appreciate you. You are now tuned into the money 2254 02:01:24,720 --> 02:01:29,280 Speaker 1: making conversations. Minute of Inspiration with Rushan McDonald. Comedian Kim 2255 02:01:29,360 --> 02:01:31,320 Speaker 1: cos is known for her famous role as a cast 2256 02:01:31,400 --> 02:01:34,320 Speaker 1: member on the hit TV series Living Single. Now Camra 2257 02:01:34,360 --> 02:01:37,120 Speaker 1: has been sharing her gifts a public speaking, motivation and 2258 02:01:37,160 --> 02:01:41,120 Speaker 1: training leaders in community groups, companies and women conferences. And 2259 02:01:41,240 --> 02:01:44,360 Speaker 1: what it really is about is created a community of 2260 02:01:44,760 --> 02:01:47,920 Speaker 1: like minded individuals in which my business partner and I 2261 02:01:48,120 --> 02:01:51,600 Speaker 1: coached them through building their business. We did a masterclass 2262 02:01:51,640 --> 02:01:56,120 Speaker 1: on self care. It really means rest, it means setting boundaries, 2263 02:01:56,160 --> 02:01:59,640 Speaker 1: it means saying no. We're saying yes. We deplete you 2264 02:01:59,680 --> 02:02:01,920 Speaker 1: for a it means filling your cup so that you 2265 02:02:01,920 --> 02:02:04,600 Speaker 1: can serve others. My ladies are more busy now than 2266 02:02:04,640 --> 02:02:07,640 Speaker 1: they were before the pandemic hit because they realize all 2267 02:02:07,680 --> 02:02:10,160 Speaker 1: I've got a vision, I've got to keep going, and 2268 02:02:10,280 --> 02:02:13,560 Speaker 1: I'm building an empire that will last longer than me. 2269 02:02:13,760 --> 02:02:16,000 Speaker 1: This is about building legacy. If you want to hear 2270 02:02:16,040 --> 02:02:19,480 Speaker 1: this full interview with Kim Cole, visit Money Making Conversations 2271 02:02:19,520 --> 02:02:23,280 Speaker 1: dot com. Keep winning in this season of giving, Coals 2272 02:02:23,320 --> 02:02:25,920 Speaker 1: has gifts for all your loved ones. For those who 2273 02:02:25,960 --> 02:02:29,680 Speaker 1: like to keep it cozy, find fleeces, sweaters, loungeware, blankets 2274 02:02:29,680 --> 02:02:33,280 Speaker 1: and throws, or support minority owned or founded brands by 2275 02:02:33,320 --> 02:02:36,960 Speaker 1: giving gifts from Human Nation and Shame Moisture and in 2276 02:02:37,000 --> 02:02:40,520 Speaker 1: the spirit of giving, Coals Cares is donating eight million 2277 02:02:40,600 --> 02:02:44,320 Speaker 1: dollars to local nonprofits nationwide. Give with all your heart 2278 02:02:44,400 --> 02:02:47,960 Speaker 1: this season with great gifts from Coals or Coals dot Com. 2279 02:02:47,960 --> 02:02:51,000 Speaker 1: I'm Tanya Sam, host of the Money Moves podcast powered 2280 02:02:51,000 --> 02:02:53,880 Speaker 1: by Greenwood. This daily podcast will help give you the 2281 02:02:53,960 --> 02:02:57,280 Speaker 1: keys to the Kingdom of financial stability, wealth and abundance 2282 02:02:57,400 --> 02:03:02,360 Speaker 1: with celebrity guests like Rick Ross, Amanda sells, Angela Ye, Roland, Martin, JB. Smooth, 2283 02:03:02,400 --> 02:03:04,560 Speaker 1: and Terrell Owens. Tune in to learn how to turn 2284 02:03:04,680 --> 02:03:08,480 Speaker 1: liabilities into assets and make your money Moves up by 2285 02:03:10,360 --> 02:03:13,120 Speaker 1: subscribe to the Money Moves podcast powered by Greenland on 2286 02:03:13,160 --> 02:03:16,280 Speaker 1: the I Heart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts, 2287 02:03:16,280 --> 02:03:19,160 Speaker 1: and make sure you leave a review. What Girls in 2288 02:03:19,160 --> 02:03:24,400 Speaker 1: the Forest, our imagination and our family bonds. The forest 2289 02:03:24,520 --> 02:03:27,200 Speaker 1: is closer than you think. Find a forest near you 2290 02:03:27,360 --> 02:03:29,960 Speaker 1: and discover the forest dot Org. Brought to you by 2291 02:03:29,960 --> 02:03:32,640 Speaker 1: the United States Forest Service and the AD Council