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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, a weekly

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Speaker 1: conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the small

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Speaker 1: decisions we can make to become the best possible versions

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Speaker 1: of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr Joy hard and Bradford,

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Speaker 1: a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more information or

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Speaker 1: to find a therapist in your area, visit our website

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Speaker 1: at Therapy for Black Girls dot com. While I hope

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Speaker 1: you love listening to and learning from the podcast, it

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Speaker 1: is not meant to be a substitute for a relationship

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Speaker 1: with a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks so

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Speaker 1: much for joining me for session two six of the

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Speaker 1: Therapy from Black Girls podcast. We'll get right into the

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Speaker 1: episode after our word from our sponsors. So, as a

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Speaker 1: team and I were looking over the episodes we've released

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Speaker 1: this year, I realized that I was significantly lacking in

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Speaker 1: solo episodes. As a matter of fact, I think there's

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Speaker 1: only been one this year. So before we close out

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Speaker 1: the year, I wanted to have some time one on

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Speaker 1: one so to speak for us, to just check in

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Speaker 1: about how I'm doing, hearing feedback from you all about

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Speaker 1: how you're doing, and and I really think it has

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Speaker 1: been hard for me to think about it already being December, right,

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Speaker 1: so how are we already closing out another year? Time

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Speaker 1: still feels very very weird to me. I look at

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Speaker 1: my calendar and I think, didn't I just have this

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Speaker 1: meeting last week? But it really was three weeks ago.

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Speaker 1: I really feel like I have lost, like the complete

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Speaker 1: ability to delineate the passage of time. So the kids

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Speaker 1: are back in school this year, which helps me to

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Speaker 1: kind of have a bit of a schedule and understand

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Speaker 1: like how hours are passing, but in terms of like

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Speaker 1: days and weeks, like all of that still feels incredibly fuzzy.

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Speaker 1: So I feel like so much of this year has

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Speaker 1: really just been me completely consumed by book writing and

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Speaker 1: book editing. And I think that most of us would

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Speaker 1: agree that anytime you are doing something new in your career,

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Speaker 1: something different than it is a different learning curve, and

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Speaker 1: I feel like that definitely has been the case for

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Speaker 1: me this year. So for those of you who don't

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Speaker 1: know if you have just joined the Therapy for Black

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Speaker 1: Girls community, I am currently writing my first book, Sisterhood

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Speaker 1: Heels that schedule to come out in the summer of

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Speaker 1: next year, and it has been quite the journey. So

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Speaker 1: I'm very very excited to finally share with you all

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Speaker 1: in the summertime. But it definitely has been a lot

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Speaker 1: to get here. I think it was just a very

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Speaker 1: different process than anything that I was used to, and

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Speaker 1: so in a lot of ways, it has felt like

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Speaker 1: writing a dissertation all over again. And you know, for

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Speaker 1: anybody who has written a dissertation, you know that it

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Speaker 1: is not the easiest process. It's a lot of back

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Speaker 1: and forth, a lot of you know, like okay, change

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Speaker 1: this and edit this, let's rework this, and so it

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Speaker 1: has been very, very consuming. So I think that that

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Speaker 1: is in large part why time has felt so fuzzy

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Speaker 1: this year, is because it has felt like I have

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Speaker 1: been very much head down in the writing and editing

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Speaker 1: phase while the rest of the world just kinda continues

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Speaker 1: on the outside. So y'all know that I love a

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Speaker 1: good TV show like I love catching up on all

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Speaker 1: of the new shows that you all are watching. There

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Speaker 1: have been some really really good shows that come out

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Speaker 1: this year, and so in the miss of writing, I

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Speaker 1: have tried to reward myself with episodes of a favorite

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Speaker 1: show or give myself the opportunity to check out new

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Speaker 1: shows as they come out, and so I thought that

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Speaker 1: it would be good or maybe helpful to you to

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Speaker 1: share some of what I have been watching as we

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Speaker 1: prepare to perhaps have a little bit of time off

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Speaker 1: for the rest of the year at the end of

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Speaker 1: the year. So if you're looking for a good show

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Speaker 1: to binge watch or add to your watch list, I

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Speaker 1: do want to share a couple of the things that

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Speaker 1: I have been watching so that you may check it

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Speaker 1: out and we can have some conversation around it if

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Speaker 1: it's something that you're interested in. So the first two

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Speaker 1: that I'm gonna share, all of the episodes are out

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Speaker 1: and they are just like great drama and like lose

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Speaker 1: yourself in a show and like what's going to happen

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Speaker 1: with lots of twists and turns and beautiful casts. So

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Speaker 1: the first one is A Reasonable Doubt, which is on Hulu.

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Speaker 1: So it is the story of a woman who's an attorney.

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Speaker 1: There's some family dynam max, a love interest from the

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Speaker 1: past that kind of enters the story, and again just

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Speaker 1: lots of great drama, beautiful cast. Michael Eally, who of

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Speaker 1: course it's always just a pleasure to to see on

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Speaker 1: the screen as one of the actors in the show,

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Speaker 1: and so that was just a great show to watch

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Speaker 1: again just because of high drama. I had a chance

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Speaker 1: to kind of get two of my girlfriends. It really

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Speaker 1: invested in the story lines and we all were watching

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Speaker 1: it together and chatting about what we thought would happen

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Speaker 1: for the finale. So if you're looking for a good

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Speaker 1: one to add to your list for this holiday for

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Speaker 1: some time, off to your watch list, Reasonable Doubt on

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Speaker 1: Hulu is a great one to check out. The second

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Speaker 1: one that I just started watching, so all of the

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Speaker 1: episodes are up on Amazon Prime, but I am not

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Speaker 1: completely finish yet, so y'all don't spoil anything for me.

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Speaker 1: Riches is the newest one that I am watching again.

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Speaker 1: Beautiful cast about family in the beauty industry. I could

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Speaker 1: imagine this perhaps being like a fashion fair kind of

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Speaker 1: family are the Johnson family who has been in beauty.

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Speaker 1: But it's a great again, high drama, lots going on,

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Speaker 1: lots of internal kind of family conflict, lots of juicy

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Speaker 1: kind of thrists to kind of pull apart. And the

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Speaker 1: last episode that I watched was really getting to a

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Speaker 1: good point. So I'm excited to finish so that I

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Speaker 1: can see what actually ends up happening. So Riches on

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Speaker 1: Amazon Prime is another great one to check out. A

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Speaker 1: third one to add to your list if you haven't

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Speaker 1: already is sex Lives of College Girls on HBO Max.

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Speaker 1: So the second season just started a couple of weeks ago,

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Speaker 1: and it is one of the funniest but not like

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Speaker 1: Fallout laughing kind of funny, just like super humorous and

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Speaker 1: like just great writing and the actresses and actors are

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Speaker 1: doing a great job. So Sex Lives of College Girls

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Speaker 1: is about for women roommates who are in their first

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Speaker 1: year of college and just all of the things that

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Speaker 1: you experience in your first year of college. So just

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Speaker 1: a great story. I have really enjoyed that. Again, the

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Speaker 1: second season just started, so you have a couple of

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Speaker 1: seasons to watch if you enjoy a good binge. The

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Speaker 1: next one is one that we have covered quite a

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Speaker 1: bit here on The show Queen Sugar, y'all know, is

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Speaker 1: one of my favorites and it is probably one of

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Speaker 1: the most beautifully shot, beautifully acted shows that has ever

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Speaker 1: been on television. So it just wrapped up its seventh

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Speaker 1: season and the final season. So the series finale premiered

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Speaker 1: last week and just was such a beautiful and moving

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Speaker 1: tribute to all that that show has been. So it's

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Speaker 1: the story of the Borderlane family is a family in Louisiana,

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Speaker 1: so a lot of the scenery felt very familiar to me.

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Speaker 1: It was actually shot not very far from my hometown,

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Speaker 1: at least some of it. So it's the story of

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Speaker 1: the Borderlane family and all they go through after their

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Speaker 1: father passes, and their efforts to kind of stay close

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Speaker 1: as a family, but also to keep their family home

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Speaker 1: and their family lands. So you see like all of

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Speaker 1: the trials and tribulations that they go through with the

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Speaker 1: people in their community, but also as a family unit.

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Speaker 1: But the finale was just superb, probably the best finale

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Speaker 1: I have ever seen of a TV show. And I won't,

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Speaker 1: of course boil it for you, but I will just

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Speaker 1: say that the closing song of the finale completely took

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Speaker 1: me over the edge, like bawling for at least ten minutes.

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Speaker 1: Just beautiful, Like the timing of it was beautiful. Again,

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Speaker 1: the scenery is beautiful. There are seven seasons, like I said,

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Speaker 1: so if you're looking for something to like really commit

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Speaker 1: to over your break, then I definitely would encourage you

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Speaker 1: to check out Queen Sugar more from our conversation after

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Speaker 1: the break. The next one is not one single thing

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Speaker 1: to add to your list, But there are a lot

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Speaker 1: of great black holiday films coming out so on the

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Speaker 1: own network, Lifetime, Hallmark, lots of great Black holiday films

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Speaker 1: to check out. So I have not had a chance

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Speaker 1: to catch any of them, but I have been recording

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Speaker 1: all of them for when I'm finally ready to take

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Speaker 1: a break later this month, so that I can then

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Speaker 1: catch up on all of the great films that there were.

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Speaker 1: So if you're looking for some black holiday films to

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Speaker 1: check out, then definitely pay attention to Own, Lifetime and

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Speaker 1: Hallmark because they have been coming out with just a

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Speaker 1: great line up all season. The next one that I

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Speaker 1: would encourage you to add to your list is White Lotus.

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Speaker 1: So White Lotus is in its second season on HBO

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Speaker 1: Max and the season two finalie. I think it's coming

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Speaker 1: out this weekend, so not quite finished yet, so give

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Speaker 1: yourself a week if you haven't started yet, or you

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Speaker 1: can start now and just catch up with everybody else.

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Speaker 1: So I will say that for me, this second season

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Speaker 1: of White Lotus has moved much slower than the first one.

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Speaker 1: I also am really missing the comedy that Natasha Rothwell

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Speaker 1: brought to the show last season. She's just one of

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Speaker 1: my favorite people, favorite actresses, and I thought that she

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Speaker 1: was gonna be in this season, but she's not here

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Speaker 1: this season, and so I'm definitely missing that, And so

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Speaker 1: I feel like for that reason, the season two is

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Speaker 1: moving slower, but I feel like it's also just a

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Speaker 1: slower storyline, but definitely I think more interesting. So you know,

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Speaker 1: we're getting to see lots of different places in the

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Speaker 1: second season, and again, like it feels like there's this

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Speaker 1: kind of mystery that's kind of unfolding in this second season.

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Speaker 1: So while it did move slower and it took longer

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Speaker 1: to kind of like warm up, I do feel like

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Speaker 1: now as we are preparing for the season finale, it

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Speaker 1: is definitely getting a little spicier, so to speak, and

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Speaker 1: has been a more interesting Why So, if you're looking

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Speaker 1: for something again kind of you know, kind of drama,

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Speaker 1: but also some kind of lighter moments as well than

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Speaker 1: White Lotus would be a great one to add to

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Speaker 1: your list, and then one for your family. So if

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Speaker 1: you have older kids. So my kids are six and nine,

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Speaker 1: so I feel like if you have five year old

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Speaker 1: and older, then this show would be a great one

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Speaker 1: to add to your list. So it's called The Mysterious

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Speaker 1: Benedict Society and it is on Disney Plus, and it

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Speaker 1: tells the story of four kids who kind of have

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Speaker 1: these not supernatural but they are kind of gifted and

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Speaker 1: like have these really special talents that can help them

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Speaker 1: to kind of figure out different situations. So they are

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Speaker 1: all kind of a part of the society that kind

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Speaker 1: of helps to kind of not fight crime, but they

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Speaker 1: solve mysteries and they like solve different kinds of issues

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Speaker 1: going on in the world. So it has been a

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Speaker 1: great one to watch with the kids because you know,

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Speaker 1: they will talk about what they think is going to

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Speaker 1: happen in an episode, and it is really just kind

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Speaker 1: of fun to kind of see these kids kind of

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Speaker 1: grow up through the season. So there are two seasons

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Speaker 1: of that and they are in the second season right now.

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Speaker 1: But again I think that that's a fun and to

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Speaker 1: watch if your kids are five and older. And again

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Speaker 1: that one is The Mysterious Benedict Society and you can

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Speaker 1: find that on Disney Plus. Now. A couple that are

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Speaker 1: on my list that I either have not had a

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Speaker 1: chance to watch yet or they have not premiered yet,

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Speaker 1: but definitely will be on my watch list. So the

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Speaker 1: first one is the Call Me Miss Cleo documentary also

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Speaker 1: on HBO Max. So I definitely grew up at the

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Speaker 1: time where the ms Cleo commercials and her infomercials were

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Speaker 1: on all the time, and so I'm very curious to

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Speaker 1: kind of hear the behind the scenes and the actual

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Speaker 1: story of what all was going on there. So i

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Speaker 1: haven't seen a lot of people talk about it, so

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Speaker 1: I'm not quite sure what the reception has been, but

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Speaker 1: it's definitely one that I'm interested in checking out. Another

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Speaker 1: one is Stuts, which is a documentary or a docuseries

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Speaker 1: on Netflix. So it is about Jonah Heill and his

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Speaker 1: I believe the person is a therapist, but I'm not

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Speaker 1: quite sure. I'm pretty sure it's the therapist, but they

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Speaker 1: basically do this like documentary together or in like Jonah

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Speaker 1: is talking to the therapist about his life, but of

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Speaker 1: course the therapist is also talking to Jonah about his

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Speaker 1: life and like talking about, you know, the work that

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Speaker 1: they do in therapy. So I don't quite know all

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Speaker 1: of the details, but that is definitely one that I'm

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Speaker 1: interested in checking out. So I've actually heard some good

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Speaker 1: feedback about that one, and people have seemed to really

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Speaker 1: enjoy it. I definitely I haven't heard many therapists talk

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Speaker 1: about it, though, so I am curious to see what

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Speaker 1: it's like because I'm thinking about, like, Okay, what kind

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Speaker 1: of conversation did Jonah and the therapist have about preparing

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Speaker 1: to do a documentary together. So I'm definitely interested in

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Speaker 1: checking that one out to see how that plays out.

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Speaker 1: Another one that's on my to be watch list is

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Speaker 1: the third season of The First Wives Club. So The

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Speaker 1: First Wives Club, I feel like it's one of the

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Speaker 1: best shows that not a lot of people are talking about.

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Speaker 1: So this is a show on BT Plus. If you

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Speaker 1: don't have BT Plus, maybe you don't even know it exists,

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Speaker 1: but I definitely think that this is worth the subscription.

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Speaker 1: So this is a show that's stars Michelle Mitchener, Michelle Bouto,

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Speaker 1: and Jill Scott. And they play a group of friends

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Speaker 1: and their partners, and so you're kind of seeing, you know,

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Speaker 1: like the everydaily lives ins and out of their friendships

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Speaker 1: with one another, but also their relationships with their partners

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Speaker 1: and dating lives, and so it is just a great show,

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Speaker 1: very funny, again, very beautiful, but also just very realistic

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Speaker 1: and just like a feel good show. I think it

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Speaker 1: very relatable. So if you have not checked out The

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Speaker 1: First Wives Club on BT Plus that I definitely would

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Speaker 1: encourage you to check it out. So, like I said,

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Speaker 1: the third season started recently, so I have not caught

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Speaker 1: up on the third season yet, but I'm definitely planning

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Speaker 1: to try to do that while i have some time off.

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Speaker 1: And then finally, i do know a lot of people

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Speaker 1: are anxiously awaiting this. The Best Man the Final Chapters

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Speaker 1: is premiering soon on Peacock. So you know, if you

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Speaker 1: watch The Best Man movies, then you know that it

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Speaker 1: follows this group of friends following a wedding and then

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Speaker 1: them getting older, deals with laws. So now we are

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Speaker 1: seeing them them in kind of this final era of

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Speaker 1: this story, and so I'm very, very excited to see

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Speaker 1: where these storylines go. So this again is just a

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Speaker 1: beautiful cast. The cast just looks gorgeous and some of

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Speaker 1: the trailers and pictures that I've seen, and so I'm

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Speaker 1: really really curious to see how they are going to

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Speaker 1: adapt the story for streaming because it's on Peacock, but

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Speaker 1: also just to kind of see what kind of storylines

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Speaker 1: we're gonna get, Like where are we picking up in

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Speaker 1: the story of these characters and how are things going

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Speaker 1: to play out. So definitely looking forward to The Best

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Speaker 1: Man the final chapters on Peacock. So if there are

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Speaker 1: other things that you are watching that I have not

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Speaker 1: added to my list, definitely let me know so that

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Speaker 1: I can answer my list. So as you can tell,

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Speaker 1: I'm planning like a huge just kind of veg out

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Speaker 1: watch TV the entire holiday break. So we decided not

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Speaker 1: to travel this year, and so I'm really looking forward

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Speaker 1: to kind of just being in my pajamas for extended

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Speaker 1: amounts of times, snacking and watching some good TV. So

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Speaker 1: if there are things that you have loved that are

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Speaker 1: not on my list, please share those with me on

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Speaker 1: social media so that I can add them to my

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Speaker 1: watch list so that I do not run out of

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Speaker 1: great things to watch over the break. More from our

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Speaker 1: conversation after the break. So as we are preparing to

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Speaker 1: close twenty twenty two, I know typically I do a

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Speaker 1: little bit of a kind of reset with you all

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Speaker 1: and like share some things that I'm thinking about. Some

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Speaker 1: journal questions so it really help us to kind of

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Speaker 1: think about how we're going to close this year and

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Speaker 1: really prepare for the next. And so I don't necessarily

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Speaker 1: have a list of journal questions for you for today,

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Speaker 1: but I do have five questions that I am exploring

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Speaker 1: fore and really want to be intentional about. So if

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Speaker 1: those would be helpful to you also, I want to

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Speaker 1: offer that just to kind of get you started to

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Speaker 1: thinking about what you maybe want to look and feel like.

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Speaker 1: So the first question that I will be exploring a

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Speaker 1: lot in three is in what other areas do I

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Speaker 1: need help? So loving a giy Jones, who is a

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Speaker 1: three time New York Times bestselling author, often shares this

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Speaker 1: quote that says, let my helpers find me, And I

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Speaker 1: really love their quote because I do think it is

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Speaker 1: something that we don't think about enough, is really asking

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Speaker 1: for help, right. And I definitely feel like as Therapy

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Speaker 1: for Black Girls has grown as I have done different

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Speaker 1: things in my career, I have needed help in areas

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Speaker 1: and didn't even always know what I needed help with, right.

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Speaker 1: So I think the idea of letting my helpers find

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Speaker 1: me with that to me embodies is that you know,

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Speaker 1: you just have a spirit of knowing that you need help,

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Speaker 1: even and if you don't know exactly what it looks like.

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Speaker 1: And so something that I really want to think more

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Speaker 1: about and be more intentional about this next year is

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Speaker 1: to get very clear on what other areas I need

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Speaker 1: help in. We've been talking a lot about the idea

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Speaker 1: of asking for help just in general in the Therapy

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Speaker 1: for Black Girls community. It definitely seems like something that

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Speaker 1: a lot of sisters struggle with. I think a lot

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Speaker 1: of us or socialized or have kind of, you know,

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Speaker 1: just relied on having to do things on our own,

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Speaker 1: and so the idea of asking for help just doesn't

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Speaker 1: always come easily or it's not something that we always

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Speaker 1: think about. And so I think that that is something

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Speaker 1: that I would encourage us to really consider. For three

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Speaker 1: is what other areas do we need helping and how

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Speaker 1: can we do a better job of actually asking for help?

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Speaker 1: And in some of these conversations with sisters, it feels

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Speaker 1: like sometimes they will ask and then like people don't

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Speaker 1: step up, or they don't step up in the way

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Speaker 1: that you expect, and so that then reinforces like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I could just gotta do it myself. But could it

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Speaker 1: be that maybe you just didn't ask the right person,

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00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:08,200
Speaker 1: or maybe you just didn't ask clearly enough for people

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Speaker 1: to actually understand what you needed help with. And so

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Speaker 1: I just want us to think about the idea of

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Speaker 1: asking for help and not feeling like we always have

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Speaker 1: to do all the things on our own, but instead

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Speaker 1: asking in what other areas do you need help, and

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Speaker 1: allowing the helpers to find you. The second question that

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Speaker 1: I will be exploring is how can I slow down?

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Speaker 1: So this has really hit me. Shout out to Apple products,

356
00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:39,600
Speaker 1: because they will, of course show these flashback pictures, you know,

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Speaker 1: like oh, your life three years ago on this day,

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Speaker 1: and so you know, I will get these kind of

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Speaker 1: constant updates of baby pictures of the kids, and I'm

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Speaker 1: just kind of witnessing like how quickly it all passes.

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Speaker 1: So I will look at pictures of my now nine

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Speaker 1: year old when he was one. I just can't even

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Speaker 1: imagine that, like that time has already gone so quickly.

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Speaker 1: And so when I get these reminders, it just really

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00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:10,920
Speaker 1: encourages me to think about how I can slow down

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Speaker 1: and really appreciate and be present in all of these moments,

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Speaker 1: not only with my kids, but also in my own life.

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Speaker 1: And so you know. That's something else that I would

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Speaker 1: offer you all as well, is are you moving too

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Speaker 1: fast going from thing to thing that you're not actually

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Speaker 1: slowing down enough to appreciate what's happening or really processing

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Speaker 1: things in the moment because you're now off to the

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Speaker 1: next thing. So that's the second question I'll be pondering,

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Speaker 1: is how can I slow down? Question number three is

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Speaker 1: how can my connections be deeper? So I have really

376
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Speaker 1: been missing my girlfriends during this pandemic. I really kind

377
00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:55,960
Speaker 1: of have been in the house for for the better

378
00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:58,240
Speaker 1: part of these three years, and and a lot of

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Speaker 1: that meant I was not seeing my friend ends, so

380
00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:04,879
Speaker 1: we were kind of sustaining our relationships through text messages

381
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:08,080
Speaker 1: and face times and zoom calls and all of those things.

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00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:11,959
Speaker 1: And so just this year, probably within the last three months,

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00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:15,600
Speaker 1: I have had two different opportunities to connect with different

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00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:18,640
Speaker 1: sets of friends for a cabin trip and then my

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00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:21,560
Speaker 1: college friends and I went back to Xavia for homecoming

386
00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:25,479
Speaker 1: this year, and so it has really just reminded me

387
00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:28,960
Speaker 1: how important, not that I didn't know that these relationships

388
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:32,760
Speaker 1: were important, but how much I really value like alone

389
00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:35,240
Speaker 1: time with them and like just time where we're not

390
00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:38,119
Speaker 1: like trying to attend to kids or also talking to

391
00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:42,080
Speaker 1: our partners, Like just time with them was just incredible.

392
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Speaker 1: And so it is something that I want to be

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00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:48,800
Speaker 1: more intentional about four three and having that time with them,

394
00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:51,560
Speaker 1: but also looking at ways to make sure that we

395
00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:53,840
Speaker 1: are connecting, you know, even if it is still just

396
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:57,200
Speaker 1: by text messages, but making sure that we're being intentional

397
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Speaker 1: about continuing to grow and cultivate ourlationships with one another.

398
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Speaker 1: So that's the third question that I will be considering

399
00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:08,560
Speaker 1: for three is how can my connections be deeper? Question

400
00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:12,920
Speaker 1: number four is how can I move more? So related

401
00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:15,480
Speaker 1: to being in the house for almost the past three

402
00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:18,200
Speaker 1: years has meant that I have really not been doing

403
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,800
Speaker 1: a whole bunch of like physical activity. So I will

404
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:23,440
Speaker 1: do some walking here and there. You know, I think

405
00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:25,600
Speaker 1: I've talked before about how I love the hula hoop,

406
00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:28,040
Speaker 1: so I also will do that every now and then,

407
00:22:28,119 --> 00:22:31,160
Speaker 1: but I definitely want to have more again, be more

408
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:34,960
Speaker 1: intentional about moving my body in three and so that

409
00:22:35,119 --> 00:22:37,240
Speaker 1: is something that I really want to pay attention to,

410
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:40,000
Speaker 1: is how can I move more? And not in just

411
00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:42,800
Speaker 1: you know, like very structure kind of ways, but also

412
00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:46,480
Speaker 1: random dance parties or you know, other things that are

413
00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:49,800
Speaker 1: fun ways to move and not just a twenty minute

414
00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:52,000
Speaker 1: exercise class or something like that. So I really want

415
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:54,520
Speaker 1: to have fun in moving my body. So that's question

416
00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:58,280
Speaker 1: number four. And then question number five is how can

417
00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:01,760
Speaker 1: I ask for more of what I want? This one

418
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:05,119
Speaker 1: really has been on my mind after a recent session

419
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:08,119
Speaker 1: with my therapist, and she said something to me that

420
00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:10,680
Speaker 1: I will also offer to you in case it's helpful.

421
00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:13,480
Speaker 1: So she said that people can present things to you

422
00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:16,560
Speaker 1: in whatever way they'd like, but you also get to

423
00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:19,800
Speaker 1: say this doesn't work for me and ask for something else.

424
00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:23,760
Speaker 1: And so this is not even something that I necessarily

425
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:26,040
Speaker 1: thought that I struggled with, you know. So we talk

426
00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:28,639
Speaker 1: a lot here about like taking up space and like

427
00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:32,000
Speaker 1: being assertive, and I didn't necessarily think that this was

428
00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:34,760
Speaker 1: something that I struggle with, but clearly because we talked

429
00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:36,679
Speaker 1: about it in session, and it does still come up

430
00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:38,800
Speaker 1: for me like I imagine it does for many of

431
00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:42,639
Speaker 1: you two. And so it just really reminded me that,

432
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:46,280
Speaker 1: you know, it's always okay to ask for something different,

433
00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:50,440
Speaker 1: it's always okay to ask for more of what you want. Now,

434
00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:53,600
Speaker 1: the answer may not always be yes, but it's always

435
00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:57,280
Speaker 1: okay to ask. So I offer that to you too, Like,

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00:23:57,480 --> 00:24:00,159
Speaker 1: is there something else that you need to ask for?

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00:24:00,359 --> 00:24:03,560
Speaker 1: Do you need to ask for more support from somebody

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00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:05,879
Speaker 1: in your life? Do you need to ask for a

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00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:08,560
Speaker 1: more flexible work schedule? Like? Are there things that you

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00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:11,600
Speaker 1: know would work better for you that you just have

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00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:15,560
Speaker 1: not asked for? Here is the gentle nudge to hopefully

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00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:18,840
Speaker 1: ask for that. So do you have any questions that

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00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:22,080
Speaker 1: you are pondering for twenty three or you already thinking

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00:24:22,119 --> 00:24:25,120
Speaker 1: about how you're going to be more intentional, or you're

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00:24:25,119 --> 00:24:28,320
Speaker 1: already thinking about what your vision board might look like.

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00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:30,439
Speaker 1: I definitely want to hear that, so make sure that

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00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:33,959
Speaker 1: you also share that with me on social media. Use

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00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:37,479
Speaker 1: the hashtag TVG in session so that I can follow

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00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:41,520
Speaker 1: the conversation. Alright, Chan, that's all I got this week.

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00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:43,920
Speaker 1: I hope you're wandering down for the year and looking

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00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:46,439
Speaker 1: forward to some fun days with family and friends ahead.

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Speaker 1: We'll have another new episode next week to repo twenties

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00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:51,960
Speaker 1: twenty two, and then we'll take a short break until

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00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:55,080
Speaker 1: January four. Be sure to text two of your girls

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00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:57,520
Speaker 1: right now and encourage them to check out the episode

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00:24:57,960 --> 00:25:00,080
Speaker 1: and don't forget to let me know what else I

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00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:02,840
Speaker 1: should add to my watch list. If you're looking for

458
00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:06,000
Speaker 1: a therapist in your area, check out our therapist directory

459
00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:09,320
Speaker 1: at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash directory. And

460
00:25:09,359 --> 00:25:11,600
Speaker 1: if you want to continue digging into this topic or

461
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:14,440
Speaker 1: just be in community with other sisters, come on over

462
00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:16,960
Speaker 1: and join us in the Sister Circle. It's our cozy

463
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:19,720
Speaker 1: corner of the Internet designed just for black women. You

464
00:25:19,760 --> 00:25:22,399
Speaker 1: can join us at community dot Therapy for Black girls

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00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:25,320
Speaker 1: dot com. Thank you all so much for joining me

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00:25:25,359 --> 00:25:27,720
Speaker 1: again this week. I look forward to continue in this

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00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:31,040
Speaker 1: conversation with you all real soon. Take good care,