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Speaker 1: Natively and pot is a production of iHeartRadio in partnership

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Speaker 1: with Reason Choice Media.

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Speaker 2: Nobody knows the troubles I've seen.

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Speaker 3: Welcome Home to That was pretty terrible. I had dreams

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Speaker 3: coming out to an audience he's a hater, and that

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Speaker 3: was not what I expected. I wanted people standing up,

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Speaker 3: walk off stage real quick, Andrew, I got a court

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Speaker 3: walk off stage.

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Speaker 4: No, no, no, this is the compromise.

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Speaker 5: We're actually going to bring on a third special host

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Speaker 5: tonight and maybe y'all give that person a little more love.

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Speaker 5: But let me let me just say before we get

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Speaker 5: too far into this one, it is a complete pleasure,

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Speaker 5: joy privileged to be in the great state of Georgia.

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Speaker 4: Uh.

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Speaker 5: My mother lives in Georgia, was born in Georgia. Down

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Speaker 5: in South Georgia. Valdosta is where she's at. Uh, but

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Speaker 5: raised in this area called Clydesville. I actually don't know

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Speaker 5: if it's Clyettesville, the Clydesville.

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Speaker 6: You know they're not in here.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, But the point is is that they are watching Bacari,

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Speaker 5: which a rude ass. Anyway, I just wanted to say

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Speaker 5: we are down one of our co hosts today, Angela

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Speaker 5: Raie and she wanted to be here with everything in

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Speaker 5: her But the day before yesterday, her father had to

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Speaker 5: go to the emergency room and they discovered some issues

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Speaker 5: that required her him going into surgery today. And so

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Speaker 5: she's back in Seattle with her family, tending to her parents.

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Speaker 4: But right now and touch.

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Speaker 5: And agree, we will simply invoke God have your way,

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Speaker 5: and we know what will be perfect.

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Speaker 6: Man man, amen, amen, amen. I love that. So one

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Speaker 6: of the things that.

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Speaker 3: We remember about Angela most importantly is that she actually

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Speaker 3: thought that Florida and M University.

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Speaker 6: Isn't that what it's called.

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Speaker 4: No, sir, you wouldn't know.

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Speaker 3: And Morehouse College had a rivalry, and what I kept

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Speaker 3: telling me, we didn't have a rivalry there.

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Speaker 6: Val I do want.

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Speaker 3: Anyway, So I want everyone who's in the room who

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Speaker 3: actually went to an HBC, you just to clap really

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Speaker 3: quickly so people know that you all are in here.

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Speaker 6: Thank you.

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Speaker 3: And for everybody else who didn't go to an HBC.

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Speaker 3: You will go to the next topic, which is to

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Speaker 3: bring on. What we want to do is make sure

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Speaker 3: that everybody knows that we have a host who uh

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Speaker 3: was She actually was here before I was.

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Speaker 4: She sure was a four hundred episodes.

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Speaker 3: For a four hundred episodes, and there is a little

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Speaker 3: thing on Wikipedia right now this says she left because

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Speaker 3: I came. So I'm glad that we are going to

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Speaker 3: be able to address that today. But she was phenomenal

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Speaker 3: in MSNBC. She's a New York Times best selling author.

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Speaker 3: She has another book out right now, none other than

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Speaker 3: Tiffany Kraus.

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Speaker 4: Welcome Home to the Natives.

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Speaker 2: Leaning on the podcast, face everybody.

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Speaker 5: Did you can we get a thank you for all

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Speaker 5: the priming we did for your standing ovation in the room.

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Speaker 6: I know they ain't even clap for us.

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Speaker 1: I mean after Bacari kicked me off the podcast, that

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Speaker 1: you can do.

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Speaker 4: There's that.

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Speaker 3: I just told everybody I was Beyonce and that we

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Speaker 3: had a pharaoh, and we realized who Pharaoh was as

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Speaker 3: soon as she left the group.

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Speaker 4: I didn't even know.

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Speaker 6: Who Pharaoh was.

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Speaker 1: Hey, I'm gonna say this is the d I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: just give a little brief lesson on the dangers of

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Speaker 1: AI because on my last show I said this being silly,

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Speaker 1: I was like, well, when Bakari joined, he said, he's

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Speaker 1: Beyonce and there can only be one Beyonce in this group,

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Speaker 1: and so he put it in his contract that I

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Speaker 1: had to leave when he came. Because AI cannot detect

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Speaker 1: sarcasm when you google dwhy did Tiffany leave native Land?

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Speaker 1: That was the answer that came up.

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Speaker 6: Yes, it came up.

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Speaker 1: People wouldn't see me out and they were like, gird,

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Speaker 1: can't believe Bakari, And I was like me either, me either.

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Speaker 6: So I have haters I didn't even know.

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Speaker 5: But know the good news is you had haters before,

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Speaker 5: but now they have a reason, Bakari to hate all

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Speaker 5: you think. No serious note, I also know that we

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Speaker 5: have some maybe less famous people to you to the

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Speaker 5: audience here, but very famous to me. My dad's sister,

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Speaker 5: my aunt Patricia Gilham Sam's is here with my cousin

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Speaker 5: La Laura and Blake and Sage and missus Sam. So

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Speaker 5: I just want to thank them because I am because

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Speaker 5: you are.

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Speaker 1: So can I give a quick shout out? You must

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Speaker 1: please A dear, dear, dear friend of mine who is

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Speaker 1: now mister popular in Atlanta. But Joelan Martin is a

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Speaker 1: representative with Remy Martin and he I've known him my

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Speaker 1: entire life. He is my family.

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Speaker 4: Oh I mean remy family.

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Speaker 1: Oh Remy Martin Gartree roomy for everybody. He is here somewhere,

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Speaker 1: I think somewhere in the back table. But he has

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Speaker 1: known me my whole life since I was fifteen. So

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Speaker 1: when you see him doing promoting events out for Remy Martin,

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Speaker 1: show him some love. Thank you, Joelan, wherever you are.

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Speaker 6: We are nothing without all of you all.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely amazing thing is when when black folks try to

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Speaker 3: do things in black spaces, it becomes really really interesting sometimes.

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Speaker 3: And so on a It's what night, Tuesday, on a

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Speaker 3: Tuesday night for all of you all to be here,

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Speaker 3: I just want to say that with ay tickets. My

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Speaker 3: mom and dad would always tell me the two most

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Speaker 3: important words in the English language are the words thank you,

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Speaker 3: and they're not nearly said enough. And so before we

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Speaker 3: begin tonight's pod, I just want to simply say thank you,

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Speaker 3: thank you for your time, and thank you for your treasure.

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Speaker 3: And in the words of the great American poet Dwayne

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Speaker 3: Carter also known as Lil Wayne, we ain't shit without y'all,

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Speaker 3: and so thank you so much.

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Speaker 6: For all like you all being here.

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Speaker 3: Y'all have a seat, so we actually one of the

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Speaker 3: things we want to talk about first is and one

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Speaker 3: of the things since Tiffany is here is the first

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Speaker 3: I called it the five and a half year point

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Speaker 3: and Andrew and I got into a fight in the

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Speaker 3: car on the way over here because it fam they

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Speaker 3: don't know how to do math, but you're a joke.

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Speaker 6: Five and a half years.

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Speaker 3: Of Donald Trump, and I wanted to hear because many

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Speaker 3: people don't realize like that, that's been five and a

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Speaker 3: half years of consistently, every single day just being beat

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Speaker 3: down and put upon by the news that's coming.

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Speaker 5: Before you go. I want to defend my math. First

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Speaker 5: of all, it hasn't been a five consistent years. Oh

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Speaker 5: my god, it was broken up by four years of Biden.

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Speaker 5: But really, the thought I had was Donald Trump one

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Speaker 5: point zero has turned out to be He's got all

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Speaker 5: the awfulness that was there the first time, but now

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Speaker 5: he has the mechanisms, the levers of the government. The

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Speaker 5: people who are willing to be sick aphantic committed simply

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Speaker 5: to him and not to the Constitution, not to their olds,

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Speaker 5: not to the country on its two hundred and fiftieth birthday.

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Speaker 4: And so I think two point oh.

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Speaker 5: Trump is exceptionally more dangerous because he's he is I

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Speaker 5: think there is a mental situation that that needs to

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Speaker 5: be worked out. I think there is some issue of

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Speaker 5: aging just ohd. But more importantly, now it's not just old,

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Speaker 5: it's old and henre and more than that, dangerous when

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Speaker 5: you're so hateful and at his court, he's hateful and

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Speaker 5: so now that he doesn't have to care about public

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Speaker 5: opinion anymore, I think the next two years, Donald Trump

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Speaker 5: now a deer in the headlights, with Democrats hopefully winning

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Speaker 5: back control. Dictators before they die, do their most extreme work,

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Speaker 5: their most dangerous work, their most terrifying work. And so

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Speaker 5: I just think we ought to prepare ourselves for what's

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Speaker 5: still to come, because if Democrats flipped the House and

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Speaker 5: the Senate, y'all, we got another thing coming up with

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Speaker 5: this president, he's gonna he's going to take action and

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Speaker 5: ask questions later.

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Speaker 3: So thank you for showing us how you did math

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Speaker 3: and narrator, he did not show up.

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Speaker 4: I did do math five.

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Speaker 3: But what I would what I wanted to do is

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Speaker 3: ask Tiffany, like over the last year and a half,

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Speaker 3: I mean, we My dad always says the difference between

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Speaker 3: Donald Trump and Richard Nixon is that Richard Nixon had

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Speaker 3: shame and Donald Trump has none, all right, And so

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Speaker 3: what over the last what are the highlights and low

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Speaker 3: lights over the last year and a half, because we

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Speaker 3: both of y'all, that's what I want to know. What

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Speaker 3: have you seen that has shocked the conscience? What have

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Speaker 3: you seen that's been like hmmm? And what do you

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Speaker 3: look forward to over the next year and a half

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Speaker 3: before we get to the elections or half a year

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Speaker 3: before we get into the next election cycle.

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Speaker 1: So I think the highlight has been the unmasking. I

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Speaker 1: think there's not a lot of surprise to us. We've

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Speaker 1: always known and this is not anything new to the country.

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Speaker 1: I hate when I hear people say this is not

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Speaker 1: who we are, this is not America. It's actually pretty consistent.

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Speaker 1: Even a modest student of American history understands how consistent

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Speaker 1: it is. The challenge, though I have kind of putting

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Speaker 1: this in the highlight, is it has tapped into our

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Speaker 1: imagination in a lot of ways because I hear you

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Speaker 1: Andrew like, oh, let the Democrats take control again. And

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Speaker 1: I don't know if I'm on that anymore. You know,

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Speaker 1: I am not too keen to save something that never

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Speaker 1: really served us in the first place.

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Speaker 6: And that's not what It's not.

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Speaker 1: The Democratic Party, but it is democracy itself because Donald

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Speaker 1: Trump was elected through a democratic system. When Roe was overturned,

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Speaker 1: that happened through a democratic system. So when you're navigating

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Speaker 1: this space with people whose beliefs are rooted in your

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Speaker 1: oppression and destruction, I don't know how we coexist with

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Speaker 1: those people in a democratic society. Now, obviously this means

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Speaker 1: we have to go out and fight on every front. So, yes,

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Speaker 1: we have to go out and vote, Yes we have

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Speaker 1: to go out in canvas. Yes we got to write

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Speaker 1: a check when we can. But I wonder, okay, so

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Speaker 1: if Democrats get control, then what we gonna do with it?

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Speaker 1: Because you see now never Trumpers, well named never Trumpers,

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Speaker 1: posting things like abolish ice. Now, there was a wing

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Speaker 1: of the Democratic Party when that was happening. They didn't

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Speaker 1: like that. And so now when you see never Trumper's this,

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Speaker 1: and certain people in the Democratic Party, it is appalling.

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Speaker 1: I am pissed off about it because you're like, oh,

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Speaker 1: so it wasn't such a radical idea, It wasn't so

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Speaker 1: bad when we were out there screaming this on the streets.

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Speaker 1: I think in the Democratic Party, you still see the

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Speaker 1: suppression of black women and other black voices when it

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Speaker 1: comes to who's getting a contract to help you reach community,

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Speaker 1: community validators, when it comes to who's getting backed, when

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Speaker 1: it comes to who they think is a viable candidate.

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Speaker 1: And as Black women, I have to say, we are

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Speaker 1: so tired of that shit. Right now. It feels like

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Speaker 1: we are still begging to be heard, begging to lead

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Speaker 1: in a space that routinely mutes our voices and dismisses us.

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Speaker 1: So looking at all the lows of Donald Trump, it

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Speaker 1: has pierced for me something in my spirit. Where I

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Speaker 1: look at what's happening, nothing is a surprise because we

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Speaker 1: already saw it's really to correct both, y'all, math it's

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Speaker 1: been ten years, because he came on the scene in

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Speaker 1: sixteen and has been a terror ever since. And so

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Speaker 1: when I look at there's no surprise, and I look

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Speaker 1: at this isn't I'm not a Kamala Harris Sika fan.

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Speaker 1: But she was a well qualified candidate, the most qualified candidate.

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Speaker 1: And when I look at you saw this half witted

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Speaker 1: idiot and said I would rather vote for him than her,

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Speaker 1: it makes me question, y'all really hate us, You really

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Speaker 1: hate us, So I'm a little disheartened and heartbroken. So

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Speaker 1: I don't really have highlights other than like, I don't

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Speaker 1: know y'all in this room, but I know every single

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Speaker 1: last one of y'all in this room, and so I'm

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Speaker 1: blessed to be part of a community because where I

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Speaker 1: see y'all, I feel safe, and I think this environment

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Speaker 1: has highlighted that for me more than anything.

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Speaker 5: I don't applause to that because I don't know that

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Speaker 5: I have a point of disagreement about your analysis on

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Speaker 5: where the country has failed. But in two hundred and

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Speaker 5: fifty years, a country, to quote angela ride that was

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Speaker 5: built by us for free, is not one that we

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Speaker 5: should just let folks gallivant around and celebrate and take

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Speaker 5: no part in appreciating the role that black folks have

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Speaker 5: contributed to bending the arc of justice a little more

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Speaker 5: our way. And while it's not perfect, it's absolutely not perfect.

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Speaker 5: It'd be hard to wake up doing this work, working

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Speaker 5: every day in a system that yes, rejects you, doesn't

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Speaker 5: like you, figures out ways to create quicksand for every

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Speaker 5: step that we take. But there are wrinkles in this

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Speaker 5: thing where we've seen moments where we have been able

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Speaker 5: to thrive.

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Speaker 4: Where we can think long enough to just take a.

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Speaker 5: Deep breath and say, who, I'm so glad that this

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Speaker 5: isn't yesterday, but I'm still hopeful that tomorrow will be better.

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Speaker 4: I know that I rejoice in.

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Speaker 5: The fact that coming from where I came from, with

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Speaker 5: the my mother and my father and the way they

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Speaker 5: had to work, and the way I in which I

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Speaker 5: saw their lifestyles rejected, and then to have a son

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Speaker 5: go on and be the first of their kids to

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Speaker 5: graduate from high school and then go on to college

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Speaker 5: and compete for the highest office in the land in Florida.

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Speaker 4: I know that there are steps.

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Speaker 5: We didn't get there, but there's steps, and there's cracks,

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Speaker 5: and their folks will come by and us and do better.

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Speaker 5: What I'm hopeful for about twenty twenty six is that

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Speaker 5: I'm not being a cheerleader for the Democrats. But what

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Speaker 5: I do want is somebody who's going to put handcuffs

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Speaker 5: on the Trump administration based off of the lawlessness that.

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Speaker 4: They exhibited over these last four years.

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Speaker 5: Every candidate who is running for office, we have to

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Speaker 5: ask them, because Democrats are terribly afraid of saying, oh,

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Speaker 5: we're gonna impeach and oh, we're going to investigate because

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Speaker 5: they're afraid they'll lose Republicans if they say we're going

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Speaker 5: to hold them accountable. But you cannot get my vote,

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Speaker 5: I will show up at a poland I will vote

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Speaker 5: at blank ballot if I can't hear from you that

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Speaker 5: you believe one hundredth one thousand percent in account of

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Speaker 5: and these next two years must be committed to holding

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Speaker 5: these people accountable. If we don't do it, y'all, if

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Speaker 5: they don't in Congress, lock some people up, and there

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Speaker 5: are a lot of them to be locked up.

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Speaker 4: If they don't claw back some.

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Speaker 5: Of the money, they'll monuments called clause where the president

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Speaker 5: has taken just the grift. His family's getting richer and

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Speaker 5: richer by the billions. Well, everything that we have to

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Speaker 5: go and pay for in a grocery store costs more money.

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Speaker 5: They're over there, his son don't even work for the government,

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Speaker 5: is negotiating a peace treaty on the behalf of who

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Speaker 5: And we wonder why the peace treaties keep failing. Then

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Speaker 5: the president comes out and makes a positive statement and

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Speaker 5: the markets go crazy and they get another winfall of money.

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Speaker 5: So I'm just saying if folks don't go to jail,

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Speaker 5: that's how I could be. I'm not a Democrat and

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Speaker 5: two twenty eight, but as if we don't lock some

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Speaker 5: people up.

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Speaker 3: I hear you, and I think that I'm a little

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Speaker 3: bit more firm than both of you guys in my stands,

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Speaker 3: not saying that you're wrong, because I would just footnote

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Speaker 3: both of the things that you all say.

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Speaker 6: But elections are about choices. I don't I don't.

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Speaker 3: I don't think people fully grasp but that when you

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Speaker 3: go to that ballot box and most elections you have

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Speaker 3: an A or a B. Right, And I know that

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Speaker 3: the weariness that we have is that black folk in

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Speaker 3: this room, regardless of where we come from or our

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Speaker 3: plot in life, are usually voting to mitigate harm. Of course,

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Speaker 3: that's that is how we vote, That's how we approach voting, right,

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Speaker 3: I mean, And that's an unfortunate stance. One of one

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Speaker 3: of the things that I've always told people is that

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Speaker 3: one of one of my goals in life is to

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Speaker 3: make sure that black folks can get out of out of.

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Speaker 6: Saying the word survive and begin to say the word thrive.

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Speaker 3: Like that's where I want us to be and I

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Speaker 3: recognize the difficulty because Tiffany articulated that, like I don't

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Speaker 3: have and I call names and because I don't care,

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Speaker 3: but I don't have the utmost faith in the King Jefferies, right,

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Speaker 3: I just he doesn't for me. It doesn't when I

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Speaker 3: take a shower at night and I'm in this singing

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Speaker 3: Joe Deasy to show to after party in the hotel,

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Speaker 3: like I'm.

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Speaker 6: Not thinking about how y'all don't know that album next next.

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Speaker 3: Okay, anyway, so I'm not thinking about how King Jefferies

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Speaker 3: is going to take me to the Promised Land.

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Speaker 6: Like that's not that's not my my goal.

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Speaker 5: On line, I don't think we should be by the

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Speaker 5: way b I think we make a mistake when we

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Speaker 5: keep casting individuals but are safe.

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Speaker 6: But see, my goal is different. But my goal is different.

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Speaker 3: I don't I don't have a Messiah complex, which is

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Speaker 3: what a lot of black folks have. And I'm talking

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Speaker 3: to us, like a lot of us have this complex

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Speaker 3: where we're waiting on the next great We're waiting on

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Speaker 3: Barack Obama like democrats, Black folk, we had this thing

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Speaker 3: where we're waiting on Barack Obama, waiting on JFK. Worriiting

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Speaker 3: on this person like a codal personality. I'm not waiting

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Speaker 3: on that. My goal is very simple because I firmly

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Speaker 3: believe that every ounce of change we've ever had in

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Speaker 3: this country has been because of black blood that flowed

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Speaker 3: through the streets. And when I say that, I'm talking

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Speaker 3: about like sixty four to sixty five Voting Rice Act

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Speaker 3: is because white people were able to see us get

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Speaker 3: beat on the Edmon Pettus Bridge.

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Speaker 6: Right.

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Speaker 3: The sixty eight Fair Housing Act is all because LBJ

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Speaker 3: had to do something with black folk because they saw

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Speaker 3: King get assassinated. In South Carolina, we didn't have a

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Speaker 3: conversation about the Confederate flag until nine people, including my

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Speaker 3: friend Clym, were killed in a church.

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Speaker 6: Right.

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Speaker 3: You don't have a conversation about criminal justice reform unless

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Speaker 3: you have Danella Fraser, black woman seventeen years old, takes

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Speaker 3: her camera out and sees George Floyd with a knee

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Speaker 3: in the back of his neck for over nine minutes.

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Speaker 3: So I'm very cognizant of the fact that the price

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Speaker 3: for change for black people in this country is really,

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Speaker 3: really high. And what I'm trying to do with my

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Speaker 3: life is dry that cost down and so that's how

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Speaker 3: I kind of look at the political spectrum, like what

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Speaker 3: is going to make Sadie and Stokely have to not

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Speaker 3: pay what Abraham Lincoln call kind of the the the

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Speaker 3: ultimate price of our angels in order to have the

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Speaker 3: change that they deserve. And so I'm just trying to

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Speaker 3: cost drive the cost of change for black folk down.

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Speaker 3: And I think that that is why I see it

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Speaker 3: more clear eyed in terms of the alternatives we have

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Speaker 3: at the ballot box while trying to hold Democrats accountable.

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Speaker 3: For me, it's a very easy choice under most circumstances.

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Speaker 5: For a lot of people, is not an easy choice

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Speaker 5: when they compare that My life was in heale before,

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Speaker 5: it's been inhale through Democrats, and I'm not sure what's

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Speaker 5: going to change after them.

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Speaker 4: And for the.

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Speaker 5: First time, I'm prepared to lean a little bit in

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Speaker 5: into that reality that a lot of folks lives, they

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Speaker 5: don't don't experience tangible at home changes in their lives,

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Speaker 5: meaning it didn't get radically better.

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Speaker 4: No, no, no, let me just finish this one.

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Speaker 5: It didn't get radically better when Democrats were in charge

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Speaker 5: of the House, Senate and the presidency. We still were

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Speaker 5: mitigating against harm because the political climate didn't create room.

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Speaker 3: For we webs because you didn't get a single payer system.

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Speaker 3: No still have you still have people who you still

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Speaker 3: have for example, you still have rural health care systems

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Speaker 3: that are able to thrive. You still have to get it.

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Speaker 3: Who are able to be on their healthcare to their

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Speaker 3: the age of twenty six, I get it. There are

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Speaker 3: women in this room that had C sections and those

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Speaker 3: were considered to be pre existing conditions and they were

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Speaker 3: excluded from getting health care that now can get health

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Speaker 3: care because of what we now call Obamacare, they call

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Speaker 3: the Affordable Care Act.

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Speaker 5: Right, but the a lot of things that we often

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Speaker 5: give them from Washington is not what they are actually

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Speaker 5: asking for. So we've got We've seen people who send

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Speaker 5: millions or billions from down from the federal government, and

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Speaker 5: the folks say.

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Speaker 4: I didn't need a check, I needed a job. I

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Speaker 4: wanted the opportunity.

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Speaker 5: I needed you simply to take your foot off my

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Speaker 5: neck and open the door and I can go in

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Speaker 5: and do the work. Most black men I was talking

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Speaker 5: to during these elections, including mine.

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Speaker 4: Was like Gillowians, and you for no handout. We ain't

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Speaker 4: never got no handout.

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Speaker 5: They were putting their shoulder to the wheel day after day,

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Speaker 5: understanding that they had to put sweat, equity, body, ancestral

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Speaker 5: equity into getting just a thing out of it. I'm

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Speaker 5: prepared this election to simply say, you mentioned you will vote,

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Speaker 5: that there's a time and a season for everything, and

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Speaker 5: I think this may not, in twenty six be the

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Speaker 5: season where we hear Democrats cast incredible visions for what

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Speaker 5: they're going to do over the next two years for

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Speaker 5: the country.

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Speaker 4: Because they can't do it.

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Speaker 5: Donald Trump will still be president and he can steal

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Speaker 5: veto I don't need that from them for twenty six.

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Speaker 5: I want you to reconcile the terra that has been

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Speaker 5: wrought on all of us over these last several years

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Speaker 5: of this administration, hold people accountable, slow this man down

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Speaker 5: and the damage that he is causing. And in twenty

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Speaker 5: twenty eight, if you're running for president, vision cast tell

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Speaker 5: me what your your hope's highest ambitions and dreams are.

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Speaker 6: I just think that's such.

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Speaker 1: A I hear you. I appreciate the point. I don't disagree.

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Speaker 1: I just think it's for both of you all. It

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Speaker 1: feels like such a low bar for all that we

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Speaker 1: have done, and.

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Speaker 6: Bar is in hell right now.

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Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. Hey, that's what I'm saying. And

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Speaker 1: I'm just done with that low bar. Like you're saying, like, oh,

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Speaker 1: can we have a society where we don't have to

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Speaker 1: make a blood sacrifice for change? And you're saying, you know, can.

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Speaker 4: All you can do is be breathing?

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Speaker 1: And I got you right, But like you're saying, can

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Speaker 1: they lock up some of the Trump people? And that

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Speaker 1: seems like the most basic shit of all.

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Speaker 4: That's what It's going to be the hardest thing they.

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Speaker 1: Do, even if it's the hardest thing they do, though,

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Speaker 1: Like my politics are not Democrat, my politics are Black,

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Speaker 1: and I'm really exhausted with trying to convince a party

440
00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:07,760
Speaker 1: that we disproportionately uphold of our humanity. And you talked

441
00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:12,879
Speaker 1: about Abraham Lincoln. Another thing Abraham Lincoln said is after enslavement,

442
00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:14,800
Speaker 1: he was like, you know what, maybe we can't live

443
00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:17,960
Speaker 1: together like we we y'all ain't never gonna forgive what

444
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:21,359
Speaker 1: we did to y'all, and y'all not gonna ever forgive

445
00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:23,280
Speaker 1: us for what we did. And I'm starting to let me.

446
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:25,480
Speaker 1: I'll just give you two seconds. See what I can't

447
00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:27,280
Speaker 1: get into minutes.

448
00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:29,960
Speaker 4: To finish my point.

449
00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:33,399
Speaker 1: The point is he's like, maybe we can't live together.

450
00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:37,520
Speaker 1: And so I have been bearing witness for my entire

451
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:41,640
Speaker 1: forty seven years. Y'all supposed to gat a good girl.

452
00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:46,719
Speaker 3: I've never I have never say the number I got

453
00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:48,920
Speaker 3: thirty years, last.

454
00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:51,280
Speaker 1: One of these forty seven years, and my entire forty

455
00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:53,199
Speaker 1: seven years. And I know it's people older than me

456
00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:57,320
Speaker 1: who have forgot more than I know, seeing terror, seeing

457
00:22:57,320 --> 00:23:00,960
Speaker 1: our blood spill, and I just have not seeing a

458
00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:04,520
Speaker 1: space where we can coexist peacefully. Like I'm not. I'm

459
00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:07,199
Speaker 1: out of the business of trying to change hearts and minds.

460
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:09,600
Speaker 1: You know I don't. And you know, Bakari, like when

461
00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:12,600
Speaker 1: I'm the times I'm at CNN, don't make fucking small

462
00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:15,040
Speaker 1: talk with me. Don't turn to me during the commercial break.

463
00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:16,720
Speaker 1: I don't give a damn where you're oldest, think about

464
00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:19,000
Speaker 1: going to college, or where y'all going on summer vacation.

465
00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:22,240
Speaker 1: You here advocating for some bullshit that's rooted in people

466
00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:24,600
Speaker 1: shooting a mom in the face and a nurse in

467
00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:27,679
Speaker 1: the back. Don't say shit to me. That's how I feel,

468
00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:30,320
Speaker 1: And so I'm angry right now. Don't tell me you

469
00:23:30,359 --> 00:23:32,399
Speaker 1: an ally show me. We'll let you know if you

470
00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:34,879
Speaker 1: an ally show me what you're doing. So I'm not

471
00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:37,719
Speaker 1: so aligned to say, oh, let's get out there and

472
00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:40,520
Speaker 1: elect more Democrats, because a lot of times what they

473
00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:43,280
Speaker 1: say is I can win those Trump voters. I can

474
00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:45,800
Speaker 1: reach across the aisle, my good friend. Don't tell me that.

475
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:47,479
Speaker 1: Tell me how you're gonna dance with the one who

476
00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:50,040
Speaker 1: brung you. Tell me how you gonna keep me inspired

477
00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:52,280
Speaker 1: to get out. And every single time they walk in

478
00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:54,280
Speaker 1: the middle of the road on APAX, they walk in

479
00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:56,080
Speaker 1: the middle of the road, on the genocide, they walk

480
00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:59,479
Speaker 1: in the middle of the road on they are deplorable people.

481
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:03,320
Speaker 1: They are racist, vile people who uphold this man under

482
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:06,280
Speaker 1: the guise of Christianity. And I'm just exhausted with it.

483
00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:08,359
Speaker 1: So I'm not saying don't vote. Yeah, we're gonna go

484
00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:10,840
Speaker 1: out and vote and do everything. If mid terms happen,

485
00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:18,320
Speaker 1: we will go out and show up there. But no, no, no,

486
00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:20,960
Speaker 1: because I think this is an important point. You say

487
00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:21,800
Speaker 1: they gonna happen.

488
00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:23,760
Speaker 6: They are everybody.

489
00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:25,800
Speaker 1: Seems to be waiting for some invisible line to be

490
00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:29,960
Speaker 1: crossed with Donald Trump, because it is totally behind us.

491
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:33,440
Speaker 1: So the idea that we're taking for granted that midterms

492
00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:37,080
Speaker 1: will happen, Maybe some form of midterms will happen. Will

493
00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:39,880
Speaker 1: it be free and fair elections? I don't know, Or

494
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:43,600
Speaker 1: could it be that there's some sort of thing that happens,

495
00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:45,800
Speaker 1: a terrorist attack. It's too dangerous for us to have

496
00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:48,399
Speaker 1: mid terms. So he's gonna say, Nope, ain't no voting.

497
00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:51,439
Speaker 1: The more that we go along under the naivete of

498
00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:54,400
Speaker 1: this is what we've always known, then that's.

499
00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:55,200
Speaker 6: More dangerous for us.

500
00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:57,720
Speaker 1: We have to be wise that some shit is gonna go.

501
00:24:58,040 --> 00:24:58,760
Speaker 6: We need to be prepared.

502
00:24:59,119 --> 00:25:01,840
Speaker 3: Folk have always been under the guys in the reality

503
00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:04,400
Speaker 3: that some shit is going to go down. I mean,

504
00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:07,760
Speaker 3: we come from a people where our grandparents in this

505
00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:10,840
Speaker 3: room literally had to count the number of jellybeans in

506
00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:13,760
Speaker 3: a jar in order to be able to cast a ballot.

507
00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:15,480
Speaker 3: When I ran for office the first time in two

508
00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:18,000
Speaker 3: thousand and six, this wasn't a long time ago, but

509
00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:20,199
Speaker 3: in two thousand and six, we had white folk to

510
00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:23,200
Speaker 3: get out and they actually cranked a salt off shotgun

511
00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:25,800
Speaker 3: in front of the on three twenty one in Denmark,

512
00:25:25,880 --> 00:25:28,320
Speaker 3: South Carolina and got out the car because I had

513
00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:30,800
Speaker 3: a line of voters outside and they walked around their

514
00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:34,639
Speaker 3: truck the entire day. So I am not Yeah, I

515
00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:38,360
Speaker 3: believe that all the things you're saying are true. However,

516
00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:43,520
Speaker 3: I also believe that there's nothing that we haven't overcome

517
00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:46,440
Speaker 3: and should we have to is a totally different conversation

518
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:49,119
Speaker 3: because we all agree that the answer is we should not.

519
00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:54,760
Speaker 3: I as like a random acide. I think, I don't

520
00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:59,480
Speaker 3: know how many millennials are in the room, but you're

521
00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:01,440
Speaker 3: not going to cheer to this, But I do think.

522
00:26:02,119 --> 00:26:05,840
Speaker 3: I do think millennials are the first generation. Black Millennials

523
00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:09,240
Speaker 3: are the first generation in American history to actually leave

524
00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:12,480
Speaker 3: the country worse uh than the one that we inherit it.

525
00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:15,760
Speaker 4: They haven't begun to make their mark in complete total.

526
00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:17,840
Speaker 3: I don't know that well, I mean, unless we get

527
00:26:17,840 --> 00:26:19,800
Speaker 3: on our horse right now, I think, I mean, how

528
00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:20,240
Speaker 3: much more.

529
00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:21,600
Speaker 6: First of all, we're forty.

530
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:23,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I'm glad.

531
00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:27,360
Speaker 3: You know there there are generations before us. I mean

532
00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:32,200
Speaker 3: every twenty six, but I mean every I mean every

533
00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:35,199
Speaker 3: movement for change was led by young people. And all

534
00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:37,199
Speaker 3: I'm saying is my analysis of where we are right

535
00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:38,920
Speaker 3: now is pretty pretty desperate.

536
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:40,440
Speaker 6: Let me let's I actually.

537
00:26:40,119 --> 00:26:41,920
Speaker 5: Think a lot of young people have been the ones

538
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:45,280
Speaker 5: holding Democrats accountable to your.

539
00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:49,200
Speaker 4: Point on the general No, no, no, no, millennials gen.

540
00:26:49,119 --> 00:26:51,960
Speaker 5: Z ors owe us a whole lot and we're and

541
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:54,520
Speaker 5: I'm part of the very tail end.

542
00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:56,080
Speaker 3: So so let me let me ask you, but let

543
00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:58,440
Speaker 3: me tell let the question so you can respond real quick.

544
00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:02,479
Speaker 3: So what you're what you're I am saying that in

545
00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:08,879
Speaker 3: our time frame of adulthood, like we've gone backwards.

546
00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:12,200
Speaker 6: Yeah, but you're saying that millennials.

547
00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:15,000
Speaker 4: No, I didn't tell you. That wasn't what you said.

548
00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:18,320
Speaker 4: We have absolutely no, that's like fundamentally what I said.

549
00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:21,639
Speaker 5: Yes, but millennials are not responsible for the transgression, is

550
00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:25,560
Speaker 5: what I'm saying. We as a country have absolutely gone back. So,

551
00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:27,920
Speaker 5: first of all, Barack Obama was president of the United

552
00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:30,520
Speaker 5: States when Mitch McConnell.

553
00:27:30,119 --> 00:27:32,240
Speaker 4: Decided to steal two US.

554
00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:35,000
Speaker 5: Supreme Court seats that put a Supreme Court in place that,

555
00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:37,760
Speaker 5: for the first time in American history, took rights away

556
00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:39,119
Speaker 5: from people instead of giving them.

557
00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:41,320
Speaker 3: Donald Trump became President of the United States, where many

558
00:27:41,359 --> 00:27:43,359
Speaker 3: of our same friends were talking about. Donald Trump and

559
00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:45,480
Speaker 3: Hillary Clinton were the lesser of two evils.

560
00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:48,200
Speaker 5: And many forty four to sixty five year old black

561
00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:50,399
Speaker 5: men were voting the wrong way at that time and

562
00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:51,479
Speaker 5: in marginal ways.

563
00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:54,800
Speaker 4: We lost ground in very pivotal stume, not because of it,

564
00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:56,160
Speaker 4: on you were blaming.

565
00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:57,560
Speaker 6: What all I'm saying.

566
00:27:57,280 --> 00:28:03,320
Speaker 3: Is is that we are literally like in heroically like objectively.

567
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:07,040
Speaker 6: It's literally, it's it's an objective fact. We are the

568
00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:08,720
Speaker 6: first generation. If you look at if.

569
00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:11,359
Speaker 4: We are the first generation where we've lost rights. Correct,

570
00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:13,200
Speaker 4: that's correct. My point is is that.

571
00:28:15,119 --> 00:28:17,199
Speaker 5: This is this is the bigger point, which is this

572
00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:19,439
Speaker 5: is the bigger point I'd like to go to. I

573
00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:21,600
Speaker 5: agree with you on that. Maybe I got confused the

574
00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:22,639
Speaker 5: tequila is showing up.

575
00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:26,320
Speaker 4: I don't know the one drinking the tequila is showing up.

576
00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:27,480
Speaker 4: That's my point.

577
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:32,840
Speaker 5: But but what what I think I get your point.

578
00:28:33,040 --> 00:28:36,840
Speaker 5: If elections happen, if this happens, if that happens. The

579
00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:39,959
Speaker 5: reason I don't think the analysis was complete, which is

580
00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:42,760
Speaker 5: they stole ballats. They came down here with a Sippia

581
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:45,320
Speaker 5: and took ballats out of Georgia. They attempted to do

582
00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:50,120
Speaker 5: the same thing in Arizona. The president has already lit

583
00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:52,760
Speaker 5: what we like to call trial balloons. That is, you

584
00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:55,840
Speaker 5: put an idea out there and see how much pushback

585
00:28:55,880 --> 00:28:58,280
Speaker 5: you get to that idea before you come forward and

586
00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:00,600
Speaker 5: say this is the policy I'm gonna pu or it

587
00:29:00,760 --> 00:29:04,400
Speaker 5: is not. He has floated several trial balloons and has

588
00:29:04,440 --> 00:29:08,240
Speaker 5: been swatted back by people taking actions saying you cannot

589
00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:10,040
Speaker 5: go there, mister President. And I got to tell you,

590
00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:12,320
Speaker 5: I hate to acknowledge them, but many of those people

591
00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:14,240
Speaker 5: who have done the swatting back have been Republicans that

592
00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:16,200
Speaker 5: have said, if you go that far, you will not

593
00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:18,040
Speaker 5: have my support. In fact, I'll be on the other

594
00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:21,080
Speaker 5: side of that. They don't get no credit. But the

595
00:29:21,120 --> 00:29:23,800
Speaker 5: fact is still the fact. And right now he ain't

596
00:29:23,800 --> 00:29:26,840
Speaker 5: listening to Democrats. He doesn't care for Democrats, and they

597
00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:29,080
Speaker 5: have the majority of the Senate and the majority of

598
00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:31,600
Speaker 5: the House. And until the Speaker of the House decides

599
00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:33,760
Speaker 5: to put a check on the president, he's going to

600
00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:37,239
Speaker 5: keep running roughshod. So will the elections happen? And am

601
00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:40,440
Speaker 5: I gong ho about them? I'm gung ho about getting

602
00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:42,560
Speaker 5: the man out of office, putting a check on him,

603
00:29:42,560 --> 00:29:44,400
Speaker 5: and trying to rescue us from the bowels of hell

604
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:45,720
Speaker 5: that he's driven us to.

605
00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:47,200
Speaker 6: I agree with that, and then.

606
00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:50,400
Speaker 5: We can build on dreams and aspirations beyond him.

607
00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:52,320
Speaker 6: And see they don't they just bully me.

608
00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:54,200
Speaker 4: No, you say wrong things.

609
00:29:54,520 --> 00:30:00,520
Speaker 3: See actually I think I had anyway, So uh one

610
00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:04,120
Speaker 3: of the we anticipated to have a fully political discussion

611
00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:07,920
Speaker 3: with you guys for the entire hour of our discussion,

612
00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:11,120
Speaker 3: right and talk about Donald Trump, in which we did.

613
00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:15,600
Speaker 3: But we have a special guest that's joining us as well.

614
00:30:15,720 --> 00:30:17,360
Speaker 3: I want you to bring her out first, and then

615
00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:20,560
Speaker 3: I want a table set for discussion that I think

616
00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:22,920
Speaker 3: that black men and black women need to have in

617
00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:25,760
Speaker 3: a room such as this, because if we can't have

618
00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:29,040
Speaker 3: that discussion in this room, my fear is where can.

619
00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:29,320
Speaker 6: We have it?

620
00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:37,000
Speaker 4: And nobody knows.

621
00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:42,880
Speaker 1: So time to reset the gender balance on this stage.

622
00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:46,000
Speaker 1: I want to bring to this stage doctor key Hallman,

623
00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:48,480
Speaker 1: if she can make her way to this stage. She

624
00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:51,719
Speaker 1: is a fixture here in Atlanta. She has a shop

625
00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:57,280
Speaker 1: just across in the Ponts Market. She's an investor, a businesswoman,

626
00:30:57,680 --> 00:31:00,160
Speaker 1: and she does a lot of civic work in the community.

627
00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:03,080
Speaker 1: But she can tell you more specifically what she does

628
00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:05,960
Speaker 1: as soon as her microphone starts working. She's coming right now,

629
00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:11,360
Speaker 1: come on out.

630
00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:14,560
Speaker 6: We thank you, thank you so uh.

631
00:31:14,880 --> 00:31:17,080
Speaker 3: Andrew and I we were having a discussion, and the

632
00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:21,040
Speaker 3: reason we were is as we were preparing for today.

633
00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:24,880
Speaker 3: I just felt it wasn't just and I think that

634
00:31:25,080 --> 00:31:28,200
Speaker 3: the four of us would agree for us to have

635
00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:33,520
Speaker 3: a conversation without talking about the cultural happenstances of the day,

636
00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:37,640
Speaker 3: and happenstances probably is not the word that describes the

637
00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:42,280
Speaker 3: weight of it. However, on Monday morning, I believe it was.

638
00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:44,560
Speaker 3: I can't recall the exact date I woke up and

639
00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:48,720
Speaker 3: sent a Senate Was it Monday? I can't even recall

640
00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:52,440
Speaker 3: my days or running together. I sent a text to

641
00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:55,760
Speaker 3: our group chat because one of my friends and I

642
00:31:55,760 --> 00:31:58,480
Speaker 3: don't I would. I'm gonna let Andrew describe him as

643
00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:04,640
Speaker 3: he was just Fairfax actually, And the crazy part about

644
00:32:04,680 --> 00:32:06,760
Speaker 3: it was I had been talking to Justin a few

645
00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:11,520
Speaker 3: times over the past year, and I was I would

646
00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:15,040
Speaker 3: expect the message to be that Justin had killed himself,

647
00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:20,800
Speaker 3: and that probably is a troublesome reality for a lot

648
00:32:20,880 --> 00:32:25,240
Speaker 3: of people in the room. However, the text message read

649
00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:28,920
Speaker 3: that Justin had not only killed himself, but he killed

650
00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:30,240
Speaker 3: his wife first.

651
00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:31,480
Speaker 6: And then the.

652
00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:35,880
Speaker 3: Text message got a little bit worse that his son

653
00:32:36,080 --> 00:32:39,160
Speaker 3: was actually the person who called nine one one, as

654
00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:42,320
Speaker 3: both his children were in the home. I mean then,

655
00:32:42,360 --> 00:32:47,120
Speaker 3: we just saw recently in Shreveport where a gentleman who

656
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:50,400
Speaker 3: had kind of called out for help on social media

657
00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:55,600
Speaker 3: had then gone back and killed eight young people. And

658
00:32:55,680 --> 00:33:00,360
Speaker 3: we've seen his kids like ages. I don't know the ages,

659
00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:03,640
Speaker 3: but I know the youngest one was one one through nine.

660
00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:05,360
Speaker 3: I believe is right, but I'm not sure, and I

661
00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:07,440
Speaker 3: don't want to misquote it because I want to make

662
00:33:07,440 --> 00:33:11,640
Speaker 3: sure that we actually give this portion of the conversation

663
00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:17,560
Speaker 3: the gravity that it deserves. And so I wanted to

664
00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:19,960
Speaker 3: be able to have to This is my level set.

665
00:33:19,960 --> 00:33:21,720
Speaker 3: And y'all can cuss me out and say I'm wrong,

666
00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:22,960
Speaker 3: and I've been wrong before.

667
00:33:23,320 --> 00:33:26,360
Speaker 5: I just want to evoke Mayor made her from a

668
00:33:26,400 --> 00:33:28,880
Speaker 5: graduate of FAM you who was the vice mayor of

669
00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:30,040
Speaker 5: a city down in Florida.

670
00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:32,120
Speaker 4: She worked for my campaign for governor.

671
00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:37,400
Speaker 5: A beautiful spirit, two years married, and was killed by

672
00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:43,200
Speaker 5: her husband, who repeatedly reported to his family that he

673
00:33:43,440 --> 00:33:47,320
Speaker 5: saw after committing the heinous murder, that he just couldn't

674
00:33:47,320 --> 00:33:49,440
Speaker 5: take it anymore. He just couldn't take it anymore. And

675
00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:51,960
Speaker 5: we don't have We don't have the full picture of

676
00:33:51,960 --> 00:33:55,280
Speaker 5: what that is. But something is going on.

677
00:33:55,600 --> 00:33:57,840
Speaker 3: So I wanted a space and this is where I

678
00:33:57,840 --> 00:34:00,360
Speaker 3: can be completely wrong, but I don't care about jumping

679
00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:03,360
Speaker 3: off a ledge with you all. I wanted space, particularly

680
00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:05,920
Speaker 3: with Tiffany here, who hoes me accountable on everything, and

681
00:34:06,520 --> 00:34:08,040
Speaker 3: this is our first converse. I know you've been on

682
00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:10,600
Speaker 3: the show, but our first conversation together. I wanted a

683
00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:14,560
Speaker 3: space where we could have a conversation about ensuring that

684
00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:20,480
Speaker 3: we hold individuals accountable for their actions, assuring ourselves that

685
00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:23,520
Speaker 3: we're lifting up Serena Fairfax, for example, who's been left

686
00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:28,240
Speaker 3: out of a lot of the conversations, and not butt.

687
00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:30,560
Speaker 3: I don't want to say butt because it negates everything

688
00:34:30,600 --> 00:34:33,800
Speaker 3: before it, but and also having a space for black

689
00:34:33,840 --> 00:34:35,880
Speaker 3: men to be able to call out when they have

690
00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:39,239
Speaker 3: issues of mental health or issues that they're going through,

691
00:34:39,280 --> 00:34:42,480
Speaker 3: and making sure that their screams are not in vain,

692
00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:45,920
Speaker 3: because I feel like both of those things are happening

693
00:34:46,520 --> 00:34:49,040
Speaker 3: and we're missing the pulset on both of them. And

694
00:34:49,160 --> 00:34:52,399
Speaker 3: until we actually have a conversation such as this, where

695
00:34:52,440 --> 00:34:55,000
Speaker 3: we're sitting in a room such as this, where we

696
00:34:55,080 --> 00:35:01,040
Speaker 3: can chastise a little, hold accountable, but also breathe. I

697
00:35:01,040 --> 00:35:03,520
Speaker 3: don't think that we can fix this problem unless we

698
00:35:03,600 --> 00:35:06,760
Speaker 3: have real conversations about what's going on in our community.

699
00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:08,840
Speaker 3: And so that's how I open it up.

700
00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:13,919
Speaker 1: Tiffany, thank you so honoring that Justin was your friend,

701
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:17,520
Speaker 1: and I'm honoring you all for allowing this safe space.

702
00:35:17,680 --> 00:35:19,799
Speaker 1: And we want this to be an interactive conversation, so

703
00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:21,719
Speaker 1: we will open the mic because we want to hear

704
00:35:21,760 --> 00:35:26,239
Speaker 1: from you all too. You know, I'll just focus on

705
00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:28,240
Speaker 1: Justin for now because I think that was the tipping

706
00:35:28,280 --> 00:35:33,600
Speaker 1: point for this conversation. So when this first happened, I

707
00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:39,160
Speaker 1: was absorbing it all. I knew Justin as well. What

708
00:35:39,440 --> 00:35:45,040
Speaker 1: started to transpire after that, This wasn't when people started

709
00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:48,200
Speaker 1: posting pictures and making remarks about him and this is

710
00:35:48,239 --> 00:35:52,680
Speaker 1: my frat brother, and you know, almost like celebratory of him.

711
00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:57,160
Speaker 1: These were not trumpers, These weren't in cells, they hadn't

712
00:35:57,200 --> 00:36:01,120
Speaker 1: been red pilled, you know, like these were dudes we know,

713
00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:04,640
Speaker 1: we rock with, we love and I think it's black women.

714
00:36:04,719 --> 00:36:06,520
Speaker 1: We had to sit back and look at that, like

715
00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:11,480
Speaker 1: are you fucking kidding me? Like this man murdered his

716
00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:15,600
Speaker 1: wife and was his children in the house and knew

717
00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:19,160
Speaker 1: that they would find him as a scene, thinking, feeling person.

718
00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:22,319
Speaker 1: I did have empathy. I remember talking to you about

719
00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:25,400
Speaker 1: it in our chat when you you know, kind of

720
00:36:25,440 --> 00:36:27,840
Speaker 1: framed it and I was like, yeah, there was a

721
00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:30,600
Speaker 1: part of me that didn't want white run media to

722
00:36:30,600 --> 00:36:34,600
Speaker 1: get a hold of this narrative and you know, do

723
00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:39,960
Speaker 1: what they do with our stories. But my empathy and

724
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:41,640
Speaker 1: I had this space to work this out with you

725
00:36:41,719 --> 00:36:45,920
Speaker 1: all privately and now publicly because I was asking, you know,

726
00:36:46,040 --> 00:36:48,800
Speaker 1: my my empathy first went to the wife. She's the

727
00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:52,400
Speaker 1: biggest victim in all of this. And I did wonder,

728
00:36:52,560 --> 00:36:54,640
Speaker 1: how did Justin get to that point? How did that

729
00:36:54,800 --> 00:37:01,680
Speaker 1: darkness usurp him? And I asked our friend Aaron Haynes,

730
00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:06,600
Speaker 1: president of n ABJ, wonderful journalist with the nineteenth You know,

731
00:37:06,719 --> 00:37:11,520
Speaker 1: I'm not wrong for having wondered what happened with Justin?

732
00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:14,600
Speaker 6: You're now you're sitting where we're.

733
00:37:14,480 --> 00:37:17,480
Speaker 1: Sitting like well, I asked, probably what we.

734
00:37:17,520 --> 00:37:19,120
Speaker 6: What do we not do? What do we not see?

735
00:37:19,440 --> 00:37:22,240
Speaker 1: But that was a different question because I was asking,

736
00:37:22,560 --> 00:37:27,040
Speaker 1: am I wrong for thinking in this moment? You know, gosh,

737
00:37:27,040 --> 00:37:31,040
Speaker 1: what happened with justin and Aaron responded in a way

738
00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:33,240
Speaker 1: that I just kind of had to hold and she said,

739
00:37:33,440 --> 00:37:36,040
Speaker 1: your empathy for him ended the moment he shot his

740
00:37:36,080 --> 00:37:39,360
Speaker 1: wife in the head and left his kids to find her.

741
00:37:39,719 --> 00:37:41,560
Speaker 1: I know this is your friend, Bakari. So I say

742
00:37:41,640 --> 00:37:45,720
Speaker 1: this with love and sympathy. But it did feel hurtful

743
00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:51,359
Speaker 1: to see how black men couched this conversation after all,

744
00:37:51,520 --> 00:37:53,839
Speaker 1: like we are just it feels like it's not who's

745
00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:56,400
Speaker 1: suffering more. It feels like we are the face of

746
00:37:56,400 --> 00:37:59,400
Speaker 1: the enemy right now. Shit feels like it's a black.

747
00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:01,120
Speaker 6: Women don't answer, chime in, but I want you to know.

748
00:38:01,120 --> 00:38:02,080
Speaker 1: I want doctor key.

749
00:38:02,480 --> 00:38:07,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I said in silence as well. So I

750
00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:13,319
Speaker 3: literally made no public statement, no public remark other than

751
00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:16,360
Speaker 3: to lift up the kids, which may actually be the

752
00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:21,080
Speaker 3: public remark that is necessary during this time because.

753
00:38:22,320 --> 00:38:25,399
Speaker 6: I I don't know. I just didn't know. I don't

754
00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:27,320
Speaker 6: I still don't know. I don't know how to grapple

755
00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:27,560
Speaker 6: with it.

756
00:38:27,600 --> 00:38:29,040
Speaker 1: And I don't know if this is a mental health

757
00:38:29,080 --> 00:38:30,080
Speaker 1: conversation either.

758
00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:31,480
Speaker 4: Well I think so it is.

759
00:38:31,840 --> 00:38:35,719
Speaker 1: It this is Let me just say why, Because there

760
00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:39,879
Speaker 1: are men who I know who struggle with depression. I

761
00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:42,520
Speaker 1: struggle you sitting in between what I want to say,

762
00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:44,520
Speaker 1: I don't want to say, but I know that the

763
00:38:44,600 --> 00:38:48,080
Speaker 1: people on this state struggle with depression, including myself. I

764
00:38:48,280 --> 00:38:50,759
Speaker 1: never thought I'm gonna go home and shoot my loved

765
00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:51,439
Speaker 1: one in the head.

766
00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:56,279
Speaker 5: I agree, I agree to if I so, Aaron asked

767
00:38:56,280 --> 00:38:59,720
Speaker 5: you your empathy and stated pretty firmly, your empathy should

768
00:38:59,719 --> 00:39:01,000
Speaker 5: have been did it when he did what he did?

769
00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:04,200
Speaker 5: And maybe the empathy is one part of it, but

770
00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:08,280
Speaker 5: should your curiosity, your wonder of how we got here?

771
00:39:08,560 --> 00:39:12,120
Speaker 5: And I don't think that should end because I knew

772
00:39:12,200 --> 00:39:19,080
Speaker 5: someone who was upstanding, who broke barriers, who when we talked,

773
00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:23,080
Speaker 5: talked a bunch about his family and his kids. And

774
00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:26,200
Speaker 5: I think it's one of those spaces that more than

775
00:39:26,239 --> 00:39:27,320
Speaker 5: one thing can be true.

776
00:39:27,400 --> 00:39:29,120
Speaker 4: At a time I was abhoard.

777
00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:31,640
Speaker 5: I mean, maccary was the one who told me about

778
00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:34,799
Speaker 5: Justin and then all the messages came in. We campaigned together,

779
00:39:34,880 --> 00:39:37,080
Speaker 5: he came down to Florida and we spent a good

780
00:39:37,080 --> 00:39:41,960
Speaker 5: deal of time together. And in the years since, but

781
00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:47,840
Speaker 5: since sexual alleged sexual misconductor and assault allegations came down,

782
00:39:48,480 --> 00:39:50,480
Speaker 5: you saw a man who went from being Lieutenant governor

783
00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:54,160
Speaker 5: of the state, the second in command, a former Confederate

784
00:39:54,160 --> 00:40:00,439
Speaker 5: headquarters state to someone who couldn't be employed. And I'm

785
00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:04,200
Speaker 5: sure huge breakdowns on the household, the family, and then

786
00:40:04,239 --> 00:40:06,640
Speaker 5: you're like, man, my wife and I haven't been on

787
00:40:06,719 --> 00:40:10,759
Speaker 5: the best at know certain points. I have not had

788
00:40:11,040 --> 00:40:18,280
Speaker 5: suicidal aviation or the thought of killing anybody. But mostly

789
00:40:18,320 --> 00:40:22,319
Speaker 5: it's because I could never. One I wouldn't touch a

790
00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:25,440
Speaker 5: woman like that, but two, I could never orphan my children.

791
00:40:26,040 --> 00:40:28,839
Speaker 5: I could, I just don't. It feels me as most

792
00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:32,239
Speaker 5: selfish thing anybody could consider. And if you were in

793
00:40:32,280 --> 00:40:35,920
Speaker 5: that moment, it's like, nah, that's my kid's mother, if

794
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:37,799
Speaker 5: nothing else, and you hate her guts because you're going

795
00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:41,600
Speaker 5: through a process. She's got people depending on her, your

796
00:40:41,680 --> 00:40:45,399
Speaker 5: people spawn of you depending on her, and I don't

797
00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:47,480
Speaker 5: know how you scar them for life in that way,

798
00:40:47,520 --> 00:40:49,360
Speaker 5: and a whole bunch of other reasons. But I do

799
00:40:49,480 --> 00:40:52,240
Speaker 5: think if we don't, if we if we can only

800
00:40:52,280 --> 00:40:55,759
Speaker 5: say one of his one is bad and the other

801
00:40:55,800 --> 00:40:58,480
Speaker 5: one's good, and that's how the story goes down, and

802
00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:02,520
Speaker 5: nobody deserve to be killed, right the action should never

803
00:41:02,560 --> 00:41:05,040
Speaker 5: have taken place, But I don't think it should begin

804
00:41:05,120 --> 00:41:09,040
Speaker 5: and end with That's the monster, and here's the victim,

805
00:41:09,280 --> 00:41:13,000
Speaker 5: and stay away from monsters from here too. Fourth, because

806
00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:15,319
Speaker 5: I think we lose a lot in the thread, we

807
00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:16,520
Speaker 5: lose a lot in the nuance.

808
00:41:16,719 --> 00:41:17,000
Speaker 1: Doctor.

809
00:41:17,920 --> 00:41:19,800
Speaker 6: Yeah, I want you to try. Sure.

810
00:41:19,880 --> 00:41:24,160
Speaker 7: So I do think there's time for curiosity. But what

811
00:41:24,239 --> 00:41:26,600
Speaker 7: was saddening to me is that before we could get

812
00:41:26,640 --> 00:41:33,480
Speaker 7: to curiosity, we neglected mourning. We neglected that a black woman,

813
00:41:34,400 --> 00:41:40,640
Speaker 7: a human being, was murdered and there is no point

814
00:41:40,800 --> 00:41:45,000
Speaker 7: in her children lifetime. Could we ever imagine what they

815
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:49,800
Speaker 7: would carry inside of them? And if we can go deeper,

816
00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:52,760
Speaker 7: I don't know if they've lost people in their lives,

817
00:41:53,320 --> 00:41:56,840
Speaker 7: but these two children saw their bodies of their parents

818
00:41:58,280 --> 00:42:02,520
Speaker 7: handed down by their father. So before we started to

819
00:42:02,640 --> 00:42:07,440
Speaker 7: post about our our brother, our friend, a dignitary, can

820
00:42:07,480 --> 00:42:12,279
Speaker 7: we take a moment and pause for the trauma, the

821
00:42:12,440 --> 00:42:16,920
Speaker 7: neglect to take care of yourself so you don't kill

822
00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:21,960
Speaker 7: and decimate young people's future because they're going to carry that.

823
00:42:22,800 --> 00:42:26,120
Speaker 7: So I'm like Tiff, I think there's a time for

824
00:42:26,239 --> 00:42:31,520
Speaker 7: conversation on mental illness. But we also should question the

825
00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:35,160
Speaker 7: character of those who want to post a picture for

826
00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:43,800
Speaker 7: a proximity and affiliation and privilege before we.

827
00:42:43,719 --> 00:42:45,239
Speaker 5: Take a moment.

828
00:42:46,760 --> 00:42:49,600
Speaker 7: To more in the life of a loss that was

829
00:42:49,719 --> 00:42:54,880
Speaker 7: callously killed because a person did not take care of themselves.

830
00:42:55,440 --> 00:43:01,000
Speaker 6: I agree with you in Tiffany.

831
00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:05,240
Speaker 3: To a point, like I agree on all the stuff

832
00:43:05,280 --> 00:43:07,960
Speaker 3: that happened after this, and like that's some bs, that's

833
00:43:08,080 --> 00:43:11,520
Speaker 3: just not we did we black men, we did some

834
00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:14,160
Speaker 3: of us, because I hate the generalization, did not carry

835
00:43:14,160 --> 00:43:18,920
Speaker 3: ourselves appropriately. But like, and now we get to a

836
00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:21,560
Speaker 3: point where we're gonna have a few moments for questions

837
00:43:21,560 --> 00:43:24,640
Speaker 3: and answers, and I'll tell you about those in a second.

838
00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:28,880
Speaker 3: But when when when you all say, and not to

839
00:43:28,920 --> 00:43:30,319
Speaker 3: pick on you all, because I've heard it a.

840
00:43:30,239 --> 00:43:30,640
Speaker 6: Lot, but.

841
00:43:32,120 --> 00:43:40,080
Speaker 3: Now is the time for morning before curiosity or now

842
00:43:40,239 --> 00:43:43,440
Speaker 3: is the time for grieving? And I think there are

843
00:43:43,440 --> 00:43:45,880
Speaker 3: a lot of black men, and maybe I'm alone in this,

844
00:43:46,320 --> 00:43:53,719
Speaker 3: that say, before this happened, there wasn't space for conversation

845
00:43:53,840 --> 00:43:58,640
Speaker 3: about mental health with us, Like we're not talking about

846
00:43:58,640 --> 00:44:02,080
Speaker 3: the conversation we're having I think after because the black

847
00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:03,960
Speaker 3: men that I know are like Andrew, Gillian and myself,

848
00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:06,879
Speaker 3: we find it to be a born. But what we're

849
00:44:06,960 --> 00:44:11,520
Speaker 3: talking about is before it happens, is there space for

850
00:44:11,560 --> 00:44:14,160
Speaker 3: black men to be to try to be the head

851
00:44:14,160 --> 00:44:17,080
Speaker 3: of their household and also talk to you about their anxiety.

852
00:44:17,280 --> 00:44:20,080
Speaker 1: What would that have looked like because they were already separated.

853
00:44:20,120 --> 00:44:21,839
Speaker 1: So I'm just curious, you know, I don't you mean

854
00:44:21,880 --> 00:44:23,480
Speaker 1: in the home there wasn't space for that kid.

855
00:44:23,840 --> 00:44:26,920
Speaker 3: No, No, And I'm not because I don't know enough about now.

856
00:44:26,960 --> 00:44:28,719
Speaker 3: I took it out to a fifty thousand foot view

857
00:44:28,840 --> 00:44:31,160
Speaker 3: and talking culturally, I'm not talking about sena.

858
00:44:30,880 --> 00:44:33,080
Speaker 1: Culturally, what does it look like for us? I have

859
00:44:33,120 --> 00:44:35,520
Speaker 1: a conversation before somebody shoots their wife.

860
00:44:35,280 --> 00:44:37,919
Speaker 7: And then and that asks a question as well. And see,

861
00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:39,919
Speaker 7: this is why both of us at the same time.

862
00:44:39,960 --> 00:44:41,800
Speaker 3: Please, I'm like out here just trying to say that,

863
00:44:41,960 --> 00:44:45,319
Speaker 3: like niggas got problems and we are like I'm just

864
00:44:45,480 --> 00:44:48,080
Speaker 3: My only point is that like we are out here

865
00:44:48,080 --> 00:44:51,000
Speaker 3: trying to deal with our household and go outside and

866
00:44:51,040 --> 00:44:52,520
Speaker 3: deal with the eels of the world.

867
00:44:52,560 --> 00:44:53,000
Speaker 6: We're trying.

868
00:44:53,120 --> 00:44:53,600
Speaker 7: We are too.

869
00:44:54,160 --> 00:44:57,719
Speaker 6: No, this is and we are too Yeah, this is not.

870
00:44:58,320 --> 00:45:01,400
Speaker 6: This is not the oppressional limp. I'm not saying.

871
00:45:02,120 --> 00:45:05,960
Speaker 3: I am not saying that black women are not that

872
00:45:06,040 --> 00:45:08,239
Speaker 3: is that is with this every time.

873
00:45:08,360 --> 00:45:10,719
Speaker 4: So listen, don't don't go I know where you're going.

874
00:45:11,239 --> 00:45:11,640
Speaker 4: It is.

875
00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:14,560
Speaker 6: But what I'm saying is every time, every time a.

876
00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:17,080
Speaker 5: Man can have an issue without it being approximate to

877
00:45:17,120 --> 00:45:18,160
Speaker 5: what a woman is going.

878
00:45:18,080 --> 00:45:19,520
Speaker 6: Like every time it's on this merit.

879
00:45:19,680 --> 00:45:22,120
Speaker 3: Every time I tell you that I am struggling, it

880
00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:25,080
Speaker 3: does not mean reflexively that you were not.

881
00:45:26,520 --> 00:45:30,640
Speaker 6: That's like, thank you for some help in orders, Jesus,

882
00:45:30,680 --> 00:45:32,719
Speaker 6: do we have commercials I need? I try.

883
00:45:33,280 --> 00:45:35,479
Speaker 5: I try to let you off the balcony by saying

884
00:45:35,520 --> 00:45:37,720
Speaker 5: that the easy way you want to keep going.

885
00:45:41,200 --> 00:45:42,120
Speaker 4: You've got a question.

886
00:45:42,160 --> 00:45:45,160
Speaker 5: But I just want to define in my mind mental health,

887
00:45:45,840 --> 00:45:48,680
Speaker 5: because a lot of people think you must be diagnosed

888
00:45:49,120 --> 00:45:52,080
Speaker 5: and be on some medication for years and be getting

889
00:45:52,120 --> 00:45:53,000
Speaker 5: therapy and counseling and.

890
00:45:52,960 --> 00:45:54,480
Speaker 4: That kind of thing. And that is a form of it.

891
00:45:54,880 --> 00:45:58,520
Speaker 5: But there is also the psychosis, which means in this moment,

892
00:45:58,680 --> 00:46:02,160
Speaker 5: at this state of time, the argument we happen to

893
00:46:02,200 --> 00:46:04,920
Speaker 5: be in right now. This is why the legal system

894
00:46:04,960 --> 00:46:08,440
Speaker 5: separates different types of murder first, second, third degree.

895
00:46:08,640 --> 00:46:11,360
Speaker 4: It matters that the thing you just told me was

896
00:46:11,400 --> 00:46:14,239
Speaker 4: so piercing. I couldn't see a thing.

897
00:46:14,400 --> 00:46:16,680
Speaker 6: I saw red and as a footnel.

898
00:46:16,680 --> 00:46:18,759
Speaker 3: Real quick before you can fill you let me and

899
00:46:18,800 --> 00:46:22,960
Speaker 3: we should have said no one is excusing the act.

900
00:46:24,400 --> 00:46:26,640
Speaker 3: There is literally no one, and I don't want anyone

901
00:46:26,680 --> 00:46:30,960
Speaker 3: to leave this room thinking that we are downplaying or

902
00:46:31,080 --> 00:46:35,920
Speaker 3: excusing the act. All I'm trying to find space for

903
00:46:36,320 --> 00:46:39,279
Speaker 3: is men to not get to that point and have

904
00:46:39,400 --> 00:46:44,360
Speaker 3: space before the act, before the breaking point, before whatever, however,

905
00:46:44,480 --> 00:46:48,000
Speaker 3: the psychoe, whatever the term is. I want there to

906
00:46:48,040 --> 00:46:50,840
Speaker 3: be a space for black men to be able to breathe.

907
00:46:51,200 --> 00:46:53,560
Speaker 3: Not saying that y'all ain't suffocating, Tiffany, but what I'm

908
00:46:53,600 --> 00:46:56,320
Speaker 3: saying is for black men to be able to breathe

909
00:46:56,320 --> 00:46:57,680
Speaker 3: and articulate the issues there.

910
00:46:57,760 --> 00:47:00,520
Speaker 5: And I think what happened here is that y'all many

911
00:47:00,560 --> 00:47:05,239
Speaker 5: people could not breathe. Yeah, many people couldn't breathe after

912
00:47:05,360 --> 00:47:08,719
Speaker 5: learning the news, and we're very upset that before we

913
00:47:08,800 --> 00:47:11,680
Speaker 5: could understand the story of those who were victims and

914
00:47:11,760 --> 00:47:16,320
Speaker 5: people we had already gone on to sounded like excusing.

915
00:47:16,160 --> 00:47:19,279
Speaker 6: What to Lo Loys Tiffany talks. Lol.

916
00:47:19,560 --> 00:47:21,520
Speaker 1: I know that I was just about to say, where's Lolo?

917
00:47:21,640 --> 00:47:23,040
Speaker 1: Can we get mikel and.

918
00:47:23,040 --> 00:47:27,080
Speaker 3: So so like questions have question marks, will answer anything

919
00:47:27,120 --> 00:47:30,640
Speaker 3: you all have. We have about seventeen minutes you go first,

920
00:47:30,640 --> 00:47:32,640
Speaker 3: and Lolo is gonna bring the mic out wherever she

921
00:47:32,760 --> 00:47:33,440
Speaker 3: is and give round of.

922
00:47:33,400 --> 00:47:37,640
Speaker 6: Applause to Loo. We cannot survive with that's.

923
00:47:37,480 --> 00:47:40,080
Speaker 1: Not Lo lost in for Lolo stepping.

924
00:47:39,760 --> 00:47:40,839
Speaker 4: In for Lo Lo.

925
00:47:40,840 --> 00:47:44,359
Speaker 6: Lolo was drinking tequila too, So it's okay, there's wave

926
00:47:44,400 --> 00:47:45,520
Speaker 6: your hand, all right.

927
00:47:45,760 --> 00:47:47,319
Speaker 3: So, yes, we have a question over here, but let

928
00:47:47,560 --> 00:47:49,120
Speaker 3: let us have hers, and then we'll come to you.

929
00:47:54,480 --> 00:47:56,759
Speaker 2: Who cares about truth in the last more than.

930
00:47:56,760 --> 00:48:01,879
Speaker 6: Say it, just tell us your name if you don't mind,

931
00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:02,720
Speaker 6: all right, one.

932
00:48:02,600 --> 00:48:06,400
Speaker 7: Second, go ahead, it's sure. So I think it's important

933
00:48:06,440 --> 00:48:09,600
Speaker 7: to note here that we're not neglecting the mental health

934
00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:14,000
Speaker 7: and the empathy for black men. So to say that

935
00:48:14,080 --> 00:48:18,680
Speaker 7: we should not bypass morning, it's not neglecting another systemic

936
00:48:18,760 --> 00:48:22,160
Speaker 7: issue around mental health. And this is not a conversation

937
00:48:22,920 --> 00:48:25,160
Speaker 7: against black women and black men. I think we have

938
00:48:25,239 --> 00:48:28,080
Speaker 7: to be careful with the narratives that we lead with. Yes,

939
00:48:28,280 --> 00:48:31,719
Speaker 7: this conversation is about how it was handled, and so

940
00:48:31,840 --> 00:48:35,439
Speaker 7: how it was handled, we rushed to proximity to talk

941
00:48:35,440 --> 00:48:39,719
Speaker 7: about status and all those things, and we bypass Serena's name.

942
00:48:40,800 --> 00:48:42,960
Speaker 7: I think we do need to take a moment and

943
00:48:43,040 --> 00:48:46,080
Speaker 7: pause for that. And I also think when you all

944
00:48:46,120 --> 00:48:49,400
Speaker 7: asked the question around when do black men heal, I

945
00:48:49,440 --> 00:48:51,960
Speaker 7: say this, with love, create spaces so you all can

946
00:48:52,040 --> 00:48:53,400
Speaker 7: heal and breathe.

947
00:48:53,560 --> 00:48:55,000
Speaker 6: Yeah, I.

948
00:48:56,560 --> 00:48:59,000
Speaker 3: Hear that, and I don't disregard it, and I do

949
00:48:59,080 --> 00:49:01,960
Speaker 3: my best. But the problem is that many of us

950
00:49:02,000 --> 00:49:07,879
Speaker 3: find those spaces in Tequila, you know. We find those

951
00:49:07,880 --> 00:49:11,319
Speaker 3: spaces at Platinum twenty one. I mean, we find those

952
00:49:11,360 --> 00:49:14,400
Speaker 3: spaces because you can't walk outside in this world and

953
00:49:14,480 --> 00:49:15,959
Speaker 3: be a black man and think it's gonna be easy.

954
00:49:15,960 --> 00:49:18,520
Speaker 3: And I'm not saying that it's easy for anyone.

955
00:49:18,160 --> 00:49:19,960
Speaker 4: Else, but it is.

956
00:49:20,480 --> 00:49:22,880
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that you're Let me just respond really

957
00:49:22,960 --> 00:49:24,520
Speaker 1: quickly and then we'll go to the question. But it

958
00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:28,399
Speaker 1: feels like you're saying black women heal us, and we

959
00:49:28,480 --> 00:49:31,760
Speaker 1: are also trying to your point there we should translate itself.

960
00:49:31,920 --> 00:49:34,680
Speaker 3: And I'm not saying that at all. No, no, no, no, no,

961
00:49:34,680 --> 00:49:37,319
Speaker 3: no space. No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm not

962
00:49:37,360 --> 00:49:40,040
Speaker 3: asking for I'm not asking for help, per se.

963
00:49:40,239 --> 00:49:40,839
Speaker 4: Yeah you are.

964
00:49:41,200 --> 00:49:44,879
Speaker 6: I'm just we are. We are, But it's the space too.

965
00:49:46,239 --> 00:49:47,960
Speaker 6: It's however, what does look.

966
00:49:47,800 --> 00:49:50,360
Speaker 5: Like much of much of what we are suffering from

967
00:49:50,400 --> 00:49:53,560
Speaker 5: both you and I First of all, my father, if

968
00:49:53,600 --> 00:49:56,960
Speaker 5: you were living, would have me bent overtaking a whooping

969
00:49:57,040 --> 00:49:59,920
Speaker 5: if I talked about therapy and sitting down with a

970
00:50:00,360 --> 00:50:03,879
Speaker 5: talking about our problems outside of the household.

971
00:50:03,400 --> 00:50:06,120
Speaker 4: And whose business is? What business? We all have?

972
00:50:06,560 --> 00:50:10,120
Speaker 5: Inherited people who didn't know how, couldn't do it better,

973
00:50:10,520 --> 00:50:13,880
Speaker 5: but didn't know how to, and then they created this

974
00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:15,960
Speaker 5: model of what we're then supposed to live up to,

975
00:50:16,040 --> 00:50:19,359
Speaker 5: how we comport ourselves, how we are burdened in this way,

976
00:50:19,400 --> 00:50:22,799
Speaker 5: in that way, and then we're teaching the same, yeah,

977
00:50:22,880 --> 00:50:25,040
Speaker 5: damn broken thing to those who come after. I'm not

978
00:50:25,200 --> 00:50:27,920
Speaker 5: and you're not. But that's because I don't know who

979
00:50:27,960 --> 00:50:29,359
Speaker 5: did it for you. But it was my wife who

980
00:50:29,400 --> 00:50:33,040
Speaker 5: told me, if you don't get shown to somebody and talk,

981
00:50:33,680 --> 00:50:36,000
Speaker 5: don't think about coming back in this house, not with me,

982
00:50:36,120 --> 00:50:37,520
Speaker 5: and not with these kids, and not with this. Is

983
00:50:37,520 --> 00:50:39,960
Speaker 5: that the third And so it took somebody saying it

984
00:50:40,080 --> 00:50:43,600
Speaker 5: was okay. There was there was an invitation to go.

985
00:50:43,640 --> 00:50:45,279
Speaker 3: And I just don't want black women to feel like

986
00:50:45,320 --> 00:50:47,520
Speaker 3: we're asking for more of a load on your plate.

987
00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:55,560
Speaker 3: I'm just trying to ask for just space to breathe. Yes, Hello, my.

988
00:50:55,640 --> 00:50:58,359
Speaker 8: Name is Joshua Ricardo mckett says, and I just want

989
00:50:58,360 --> 00:51:01,520
Speaker 8: to say, like, I love you guys. You guys inspired me.

990
00:51:01,560 --> 00:51:04,799
Speaker 8: I watched your show. You guys are amazing, incredible. I mean,

991
00:51:05,480 --> 00:51:09,640
Speaker 8: especially Tiffany Crass. You're like You're one of my biggest inspirations. Like,

992
00:51:09,680 --> 00:51:12,759
Speaker 8: I love you. And I just have to say this,

993
00:51:14,920 --> 00:51:18,120
Speaker 8: is it okay for black men to show their emotions

994
00:51:18,160 --> 00:51:20,600
Speaker 8: all the time? Because I don't want to take this

995
00:51:20,640 --> 00:51:22,840
Speaker 8: the wrong way. I mean it's like with black women,

996
00:51:23,120 --> 00:51:26,000
Speaker 8: I don't know this easier hard, but you guys can

997
00:51:26,080 --> 00:51:29,399
Speaker 8: do that. But when it comes to black men, it's

998
00:51:29,480 --> 00:51:31,400
Speaker 8: like we have to be the strong ones.

999
00:51:31,520 --> 00:51:32,759
Speaker 6: But there are times.

1000
00:51:32,520 --> 00:51:36,520
Speaker 8: Where we should be able to cry and show emotions,

1001
00:51:36,560 --> 00:51:38,960
Speaker 8: like can there be a space for that in a

1002
00:51:38,960 --> 00:51:40,480
Speaker 8: way where we just show.

1003
00:51:41,640 --> 00:51:45,080
Speaker 3: So why are people like shaking their heads? Like why

1004
00:51:45,400 --> 00:51:51,000
Speaker 3: why are people like not like he yes, the answer

1005
00:51:51,080 --> 00:51:56,879
Speaker 3: is yes, yes, Oh I'm with you. Yeah, it's it's

1006
00:51:56,920 --> 00:52:00,040
Speaker 3: the answer is yes, And you should be able to

1007
00:52:00,120 --> 00:52:03,640
Speaker 3: do that. And it doesn't mean that you're weaker, and

1008
00:52:03,719 --> 00:52:06,440
Speaker 3: it doesn't mean that you're less than It means that

1009
00:52:06,520 --> 00:52:09,960
Speaker 3: you actually go outside every day and touch grass.

1010
00:52:10,400 --> 00:52:12,799
Speaker 5: But you have to give yourself the permission. I think

1011
00:52:12,840 --> 00:52:16,759
Speaker 5: that's that's what's beneath it is. The society we live

1012
00:52:16,800 --> 00:52:18,920
Speaker 5: in doesn't seem to make way for it, and so

1013
00:52:18,960 --> 00:52:22,399
Speaker 5: we internalize that that's what everybody's demanding of us. When

1014
00:52:22,440 --> 00:52:24,520
Speaker 5: when you stay to need, anybody who loves and cares

1015
00:52:24,560 --> 00:52:27,400
Speaker 5: about you will say go get the thing you need.

1016
00:52:27,880 --> 00:52:29,440
Speaker 5: They should say get what you need.

1017
00:52:29,960 --> 00:52:32,680
Speaker 6: Yeah, just know whoever.

1018
00:52:32,400 --> 00:52:35,040
Speaker 9: I don't even know, Hello, Hello, Hello, You all are

1019
00:52:35,080 --> 00:52:39,359
Speaker 9: my favorite podcasts in the world, favorite in the whole.

1020
00:52:39,400 --> 00:52:41,600
Speaker 4: And she has her own. So that's saying something.

1021
00:52:43,000 --> 00:52:47,600
Speaker 9: So I'm going to date myself a little bit. I

1022
00:52:47,640 --> 00:52:52,919
Speaker 9: think what we will say culturally is that's not what

1023
00:52:52,960 --> 00:52:56,920
Speaker 9: we do right as a people. So I don't know

1024
00:52:57,800 --> 00:53:01,240
Speaker 9: if it happened in the past. We didn't have social media,

1025
00:53:01,320 --> 00:53:04,920
Speaker 9: so we didn't know, but that would be the first comment.

1026
00:53:05,400 --> 00:53:05,840
Speaker 1: I think.

1027
00:53:05,880 --> 00:53:11,799
Speaker 9: My comment to you guys, especially Andrew and Bacari, you

1028
00:53:11,840 --> 00:53:15,040
Speaker 9: guys have a platform. I think I would like to

1029
00:53:15,120 --> 00:53:21,239
Speaker 9: see more mentorship from black men to black men, and

1030
00:53:21,560 --> 00:53:27,440
Speaker 9: you two, being the stellar men that you are, to

1031
00:53:27,600 --> 00:53:31,800
Speaker 9: say it's okay to be emotional. I've seen you, Andrew,

1032
00:53:32,320 --> 00:53:36,399
Speaker 9: and seen the podcast when you were vulnerable. I think

1033
00:53:36,440 --> 00:53:41,759
Speaker 9: it's important that our men. You're not my father, your grandfather,

1034
00:53:42,280 --> 00:53:46,640
Speaker 9: so it's okay to be emotional and Bacari, you said something.

1035
00:53:47,000 --> 00:53:49,200
Speaker 9: I thought the text I would get would be that

1036
00:53:49,320 --> 00:53:52,600
Speaker 9: he did something to himself. I think we've all had

1037
00:53:52,719 --> 00:53:57,640
Speaker 9: friends or family that something's off. I know something's off.

1038
00:53:57,960 --> 00:54:01,839
Speaker 9: We need to create space. It's all incumbent upon all

1039
00:54:01,880 --> 00:54:05,520
Speaker 9: of us. But I think mentorship matters, and I think

1040
00:54:05,760 --> 00:54:09,239
Speaker 9: when we have a mic, a platform, such as all

1041
00:54:09,280 --> 00:54:12,600
Speaker 9: of us do in different spaces, we need to use

1042
00:54:12,680 --> 00:54:15,560
Speaker 9: it and we need to help one another because we're

1043
00:54:15,600 --> 00:54:19,880
Speaker 9: living in times like maybe not before. And that's coming

1044
00:54:19,920 --> 00:54:24,279
Speaker 9: from a mother of two young men that are not

1045
00:54:24,400 --> 00:54:28,600
Speaker 9: quite millennials, but they're living in this space in these times.

1046
00:54:29,160 --> 00:54:32,680
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you. I think we have a peer.

1047
00:54:34,400 --> 00:54:42,120
Speaker 5: Yeah, they doing manav Songwhere are you you?

1048
00:54:42,200 --> 00:54:42,279
Speaker 10: Men?

1049
00:54:42,320 --> 00:54:45,720
Speaker 5: Said trauma early doctor about the trauma that this father

1050
00:54:45,800 --> 00:54:46,800
Speaker 5: has done to his children.

1051
00:54:47,280 --> 00:54:48,279
Speaker 4: So I have a question here.

1052
00:54:48,360 --> 00:54:51,719
Speaker 11: Has trauma become so normalized in our community that we

1053
00:54:51,840 --> 00:54:54,120
Speaker 11: no longer recognize when we're passing it to others.

1054
00:54:54,440 --> 00:54:59,800
Speaker 6: Huge all own children, of course, but trauma's not the act.

1055
00:55:00,040 --> 00:55:01,279
Speaker 3: I think a lot of people and I'm not a

1056
00:55:01,280 --> 00:55:04,200
Speaker 3: psychologist or a psychiatrist. I've been to enough sessions though

1057
00:55:04,200 --> 00:55:04,960
Speaker 3: to be dangerous.

1058
00:55:06,960 --> 00:55:07,359
Speaker 6: Shout out.

1059
00:55:07,440 --> 00:55:11,360
Speaker 5: My doctor says, don't confuse your google with.

1060
00:55:11,080 --> 00:55:12,840
Speaker 3: I hate when people come to my laws and they

1061
00:55:12,920 --> 00:55:17,279
Speaker 3: be like chet GPT. But trauma's not the act. A

1062
00:55:17,280 --> 00:55:19,280
Speaker 3: lot of people think that trauma's when you get punched

1063
00:55:19,320 --> 00:55:22,520
Speaker 3: in the face, and that's not trauma. Trauma's the reaction

1064
00:55:22,680 --> 00:55:25,560
Speaker 3: to getting punched in the face, and trauma's how we

1065
00:55:25,640 --> 00:55:29,200
Speaker 3: deal with it, right. And so a lot of these conversations,

1066
00:55:29,200 --> 00:55:32,040
Speaker 3: for example, we've never had in settings like this because

1067
00:55:32,080 --> 00:55:34,719
Speaker 3: of some shame, and I don't know how people are

1068
00:55:34,719 --> 00:55:36,600
Speaker 3: going to receive it, but I think that one way

1069
00:55:36,640 --> 00:55:38,279
Speaker 3: we can break the cycle, and I love to hear

1070
00:55:38,320 --> 00:55:41,120
Speaker 3: my friends up here, is by allowing us to have

1071
00:55:41,200 --> 00:55:44,279
Speaker 3: conversations in space like this, even by you showing up

1072
00:55:44,280 --> 00:55:50,759
Speaker 3: and being here and going out and saying without fucking judgment,

1073
00:55:53,400 --> 00:55:57,120
Speaker 3: like just sitting in it, and allowing people to have

1074
00:55:57,280 --> 00:56:01,600
Speaker 3: different opinions and different thoughts about the way that they

1075
00:56:01,680 --> 00:56:04,120
Speaker 3: feel and about the way that they process trauma.

1076
00:56:04,120 --> 00:56:06,600
Speaker 6: I think it's so important.

1077
00:56:08,320 --> 00:56:12,160
Speaker 11: Good evening. My name is Jessica. I first want to

1078
00:56:12,600 --> 00:56:15,480
Speaker 11: just hold space for you, Baccari of just watching you

1079
00:56:15,520 --> 00:56:18,120
Speaker 11: do what black people do every day of holding in

1080
00:56:18,200 --> 00:56:20,400
Speaker 11: the trauma while being at work. I can see the

1081
00:56:20,440 --> 00:56:22,279
Speaker 11: tension of what you're trying to manage it. I just

1082
00:56:22,440 --> 00:56:24,840
Speaker 11: want you to know I see you. But my question

1083
00:56:24,920 --> 00:56:27,680
Speaker 11: is really for black men, because I think for several

1084
00:56:27,719 --> 00:56:30,560
Speaker 11: of us as women, whether it's our friends, our partners,

1085
00:56:31,000 --> 00:56:34,120
Speaker 11: we have asked, we have sent the therapist, asked, would

1086
00:56:34,640 --> 00:56:36,759
Speaker 11: would you come to this? Would you do that? What

1087
00:56:36,920 --> 00:56:40,879
Speaker 11: is it that you all need or want that would

1088
00:56:41,120 --> 00:56:44,040
Speaker 11: make the invitation so that you go through the door,

1089
00:56:44,560 --> 00:56:46,759
Speaker 11: And whether the invitation has to come from us from

1090
00:56:46,760 --> 00:56:50,279
Speaker 11: somewhere else, because at this point, it's not even we

1091
00:56:50,360 --> 00:56:52,880
Speaker 11: need y'all to be okay, and we know that you're not.

1092
00:56:53,440 --> 00:56:55,359
Speaker 11: And the more y'all are not okay, the more we're

1093
00:56:55,400 --> 00:56:57,960
Speaker 11: not okay because we can't lean on you to protect us,

1094
00:56:58,000 --> 00:56:59,600
Speaker 11: because now we're like, do we need to be protecting

1095
00:56:59,600 --> 00:57:00,480
Speaker 11: ourselves from you?

1096
00:57:01,840 --> 00:57:03,640
Speaker 4: And that's the and that's the goal.

1097
00:57:03,440 --> 00:57:06,359
Speaker 11: Of the system, right to keep us pulled apart. That's

1098
00:57:06,400 --> 00:57:09,120
Speaker 11: what happened in slavery. And so while I don't have

1099
00:57:09,160 --> 00:57:12,640
Speaker 11: the capacity to hold anyone else, I'm still trying because

1100
00:57:13,160 --> 00:57:17,560
Speaker 11: I love my brother, I love my father, I love y'all.

1101
00:57:18,600 --> 00:57:19,919
Speaker 11: So what do y'all need and.

1102
00:57:19,880 --> 00:57:20,760
Speaker 1: How do you need it?

1103
00:57:21,600 --> 00:57:27,640
Speaker 5: That's a that's a beautiful question, and I appreciate your curiosity,

1104
00:57:27,720 --> 00:57:30,080
Speaker 5: and it's the story to how do you get to

1105
00:57:30,280 --> 00:57:33,120
Speaker 5: is as important as getting to and then going.

1106
00:57:34,400 --> 00:57:35,479
Speaker 4: My wife asked me for.

1107
00:57:35,400 --> 00:57:39,600
Speaker 5: You twelve years You're married, going, going, going, going, going,

1108
00:57:39,640 --> 00:57:42,000
Speaker 5: And I'm a city commissioner and I'm a mayor of

1109
00:57:42,040 --> 00:57:43,720
Speaker 5: a city, and who were going to talk to that's

1110
00:57:43,760 --> 00:57:45,680
Speaker 5: not going to run out in the street and tell

1111
00:57:45,720 --> 00:57:50,200
Speaker 5: everything that we say. I don't trust you know, I

1112
00:57:50,200 --> 00:57:53,880
Speaker 5: don't trust my business. And in their in their mouths,

1113
00:57:54,720 --> 00:57:56,439
Speaker 5: in their ears, which I assumed then.

1114
00:57:56,440 --> 00:57:58,000
Speaker 4: Comes out their mouths to other people.

1115
00:57:58,360 --> 00:58:01,120
Speaker 5: I think my parents were part of of it in

1116
00:58:01,160 --> 00:58:03,680
Speaker 5: the sense that we were taught. I mean, we were disciplined.

1117
00:58:03,720 --> 00:58:06,600
Speaker 5: If you spoke outside, spoke about what happened in this house.

1118
00:58:06,640 --> 00:58:09,680
Speaker 5: And so no, So let me tell you the.

1119
00:58:11,040 --> 00:58:13,840
Speaker 4: Lead up to it is that there are a lot

1120
00:58:13,880 --> 00:58:14,720
Speaker 4: of no's.

1121
00:58:15,520 --> 00:58:18,000
Speaker 5: There are a lot of instances where you're going to

1122
00:58:18,040 --> 00:58:22,600
Speaker 5: think we are not listening, are summarily dismissing you having

1123
00:58:22,720 --> 00:58:26,960
Speaker 5: heard you once, even though it's your thousandth time we've

1124
00:58:27,080 --> 00:58:27,480
Speaker 5: heard you.

1125
00:58:27,520 --> 00:58:30,640
Speaker 4: A thousand times, and we still feel like.

1126
00:58:32,320 --> 00:58:35,040
Speaker 5: We still feel like there's not real permission because when

1127
00:58:35,040 --> 00:58:38,280
Speaker 5: something goes wrong in the house and this thing is needed,

1128
00:58:38,320 --> 00:58:40,720
Speaker 5: you're still going to look at me. And I don't

1129
00:58:40,720 --> 00:58:42,560
Speaker 5: want you to look at me and think I can't

1130
00:58:42,560 --> 00:58:46,080
Speaker 5: do it, because I shared with you that it's real

1131
00:58:46,240 --> 00:58:48,600
Speaker 5: hard for me right now.

1132
00:58:48,600 --> 00:58:50,040
Speaker 4: It's real hard for me to deal with that.

1133
00:58:50,080 --> 00:58:53,600
Speaker 5: So I thank God for my Unpat who called me

1134
00:58:53,680 --> 00:58:57,480
Speaker 5: every single day. At my lowest point, I hadn't answer

1135
00:58:57,520 --> 00:59:00,680
Speaker 5: the phone most any of those days, but she kept

1136
00:59:00,680 --> 00:59:02,280
Speaker 5: calling the next day and the next day, and one

1137
00:59:02,360 --> 00:59:05,840
Speaker 5: day I picked up and she said, thank you God,

1138
00:59:05,880 --> 00:59:08,320
Speaker 5: And I just want to know that you're doing okay.

1139
00:59:08,320 --> 00:59:10,440
Speaker 5: I want to hear your voice. And I'm so thankful

1140
00:59:10,440 --> 00:59:14,360
Speaker 5: that there were people who weren't judging me and saying

1141
00:59:14,440 --> 00:59:16,320
Speaker 5: he's just disrespectf We want to ask the phone, da da,

1142
00:59:16,360 --> 00:59:18,280
Speaker 5: Dad dad. They had nothing to do with anybody other

1143
00:59:18,360 --> 00:59:21,280
Speaker 5: than myself, And I was thankful that there was enough

1144
00:59:21,320 --> 00:59:23,600
Speaker 5: love there by people to keep going, keep asking.

1145
00:59:23,600 --> 00:59:25,880
Speaker 4: So what I would say is keep asking.

1146
00:59:25,960 --> 00:59:28,680
Speaker 5: I never know when that trickle, when that thing switches

1147
00:59:28,720 --> 00:59:31,000
Speaker 5: over and you say I need it and I'm ready,

1148
00:59:31,720 --> 00:59:33,640
Speaker 5: but you can't get in a person more ready than

1149
00:59:33,640 --> 00:59:34,680
Speaker 5: they can get themselves.

1150
00:59:35,040 --> 00:59:36,960
Speaker 4: Your constant reminder is.

1151
00:59:36,920 --> 00:59:39,439
Speaker 5: The primer, and I think we have to keep doing

1152
00:59:39,440 --> 00:59:40,640
Speaker 5: that until the jump is ready.

1153
00:59:40,880 --> 00:59:42,800
Speaker 6: How do we? How do we get there before? Though?

1154
00:59:43,080 --> 00:59:45,640
Speaker 3: And I don't want to infer your question, but how

1155
00:59:45,640 --> 00:59:48,840
Speaker 3: do we get there before we hit rock bottom? Yeah?

1156
00:59:48,880 --> 00:59:52,640
Speaker 6: Like, how do we? Yeah? How do we? That's your prayer? Right,

1157
00:59:52,800 --> 00:59:53,240
Speaker 6: how do we?

1158
00:59:53,760 --> 00:59:57,080
Speaker 3: I'm sure Serena had the same prayer, right, So how

1159
00:59:57,080 --> 00:59:57,760
Speaker 3: do you get there?

1160
00:59:58,160 --> 01:00:00,400
Speaker 5: And I think admittedly most people are going to have

1161
01:00:00,440 --> 01:00:05,560
Speaker 5: to fall flat face before it's like you realize, Man,

1162
01:00:05,560 --> 01:00:06,320
Speaker 5: I'm losing this.

1163
01:00:06,640 --> 01:00:08,520
Speaker 4: I've lost this. I've lost this.

1164
01:00:09,080 --> 01:00:12,440
Speaker 5: If I lose anything else, my house and home, my

1165
01:00:12,560 --> 01:00:16,080
Speaker 5: everything will be gone, my children might be gone.

1166
01:00:16,360 --> 01:00:17,400
Speaker 4: And then that's when I.

1167
01:00:17,320 --> 01:00:20,400
Speaker 5: Think people, if it gets desperate enough, people will look

1168
01:00:20,440 --> 01:00:20,840
Speaker 5: for help.

1169
01:00:22,080 --> 01:00:23,840
Speaker 6: Two more We got about four more minutes or two

1170
01:00:23,880 --> 01:00:25,240
Speaker 6: more questions, but doctor Keith.

1171
01:00:25,120 --> 01:00:26,440
Speaker 1: Went the way in and then we'll come to you

1172
01:00:26,480 --> 01:00:26,919
Speaker 1: in the back.

1173
01:00:27,920 --> 01:00:30,440
Speaker 7: If i'll share a brief story about an experience that

1174
01:00:30,520 --> 01:00:35,160
Speaker 7: I had with my dad, And this is probably eight

1175
01:00:35,200 --> 01:00:37,680
Speaker 7: months after my mother passed away. She passed away at

1176
01:00:37,680 --> 01:00:42,080
Speaker 7: fifty years old, and my parents were married for thirty years,

1177
01:00:42,360 --> 01:00:47,080
Speaker 7: but they had their complications, and when my mother passed,

1178
01:00:47,120 --> 01:00:52,840
Speaker 7: they were in a complicated season, and so as the children.

1179
01:00:53,360 --> 01:00:56,000
Speaker 7: We were mad at our dad for so many things.

1180
01:00:56,560 --> 01:00:58,880
Speaker 7: And in one conversation with my dad again this was

1181
01:00:58,920 --> 01:01:02,720
Speaker 7: eight months later, I stopped being mad at him and

1182
01:01:02,760 --> 01:01:07,360
Speaker 7: I said, well, Daddy, how do you feel? And he

1183
01:01:07,440 --> 01:01:11,320
Speaker 7: took a moment and he exhaled. He said, I think

1184
01:01:11,360 --> 01:01:15,320
Speaker 7: I just started to breathe again, and that I have

1185
01:01:15,440 --> 01:01:19,040
Speaker 7: been so depressed for the last eight months. I didn't

1186
01:01:19,080 --> 01:01:21,440
Speaker 7: even know my father knew the word depression because he's

1187
01:01:21,480 --> 01:01:27,400
Speaker 7: a Mississippi man. I've only seen him strong. So for

1188
01:01:27,560 --> 01:01:33,160
Speaker 7: all the daughters in the audience who are close to

1189
01:01:33,200 --> 01:01:38,240
Speaker 7: their fathers, I was able to take my father's walls

1190
01:01:38,320 --> 01:01:41,920
Speaker 7: down and in a moment, and now we talk about

1191
01:01:41,920 --> 01:01:45,280
Speaker 7: his emotions and we talk about his feelings about everything.

1192
01:01:46,520 --> 01:01:50,000
Speaker 7: And after that conversation and after all our conversations, and

1193
01:01:50,040 --> 01:01:51,680
Speaker 7: I was like that I always thought that you were

1194
01:01:51,680 --> 01:01:57,000
Speaker 7: a superman, and now you're even more invincible. Because he

1195
01:01:57,120 --> 01:02:00,240
Speaker 7: was able to show me the softness in him and

1196
01:02:00,240 --> 01:02:02,920
Speaker 7: a human in him, and I think that gave him

1197
01:02:02,920 --> 01:02:07,360
Speaker 7: the invitation to be that more vulnerable with me. It's

1198
01:02:07,400 --> 01:02:10,200
Speaker 7: not that I was less mad at him, but I

1199
01:02:10,280 --> 01:02:13,640
Speaker 7: was more empathetic that we all carry things, and so

1200
01:02:13,720 --> 01:02:16,360
Speaker 7: I think black men need the invitation. And if you're

1201
01:02:16,400 --> 01:02:18,960
Speaker 7: a daughter, maybe you can take the wall down of

1202
01:02:19,000 --> 01:02:21,919
Speaker 7: your father and learn more about the things that black

1203
01:02:21,960 --> 01:02:22,600
Speaker 7: men carry.

1204
01:02:23,080 --> 01:02:23,960
Speaker 1: Thank you, doctor Keith.

1205
01:02:24,040 --> 01:02:25,800
Speaker 6: We got our last question in the back.

1206
01:02:26,200 --> 01:02:30,680
Speaker 10: Okay, thank you. My name is Phoenix. First thing I

1207
01:02:30,760 --> 01:02:33,720
Speaker 10: want to say is, and it took me a long

1208
01:02:33,760 --> 01:02:38,920
Speaker 10: time to say this, I have a mental disability, illness,

1209
01:02:38,960 --> 01:02:39,920
Speaker 10: whatever you want to call it.

1210
01:02:40,800 --> 01:02:44,920
Speaker 4: I've had it for a long time. My question is simple.

1211
01:02:45,920 --> 01:02:49,720
Speaker 10: Now, we had some people while you were talking disagree

1212
01:02:49,760 --> 01:02:51,240
Speaker 10: with some of the things that you were saying.

1213
01:02:52,640 --> 01:02:53,680
Speaker 4: I believe Wakari.

1214
01:02:54,440 --> 01:02:58,960
Speaker 6: I'm used to that, and it's okay, it's okay. My

1215
01:02:59,400 --> 01:03:01,680
Speaker 6: question is this and that I'm.

1216
01:03:01,560 --> 01:03:02,160
Speaker 10: Gonna be real.

1217
01:03:02,240 --> 01:03:03,080
Speaker 6: I'm trying to be real.

1218
01:03:03,080 --> 01:03:08,280
Speaker 10: Brief with the story. On my job, I take something

1219
01:03:08,360 --> 01:03:11,320
Speaker 10: called modern mobility. Should most of y'all don't know what

1220
01:03:11,360 --> 01:03:16,120
Speaker 10: that is, but that's for people who have disabilities. When

1221
01:03:16,160 --> 01:03:20,560
Speaker 10: they found out, the people I work with found out,

1222
01:03:20,720 --> 01:03:24,200
Speaker 10: I was thinking a big bus, they sit there, pointed

1223
01:03:24,240 --> 01:03:25,880
Speaker 10: at the bus, pointed at me.

1224
01:03:26,080 --> 01:03:29,000
Speaker 6: The whole crew laughed in my face.

1225
01:03:30,440 --> 01:03:34,480
Speaker 10: Now, I know a lot of y'all say, well, you know,

1226
01:03:34,600 --> 01:03:38,680
Speaker 10: and I'm not excusing the gentleman that killed his wife

1227
01:03:39,280 --> 01:03:41,200
Speaker 10: or that killed his children.

1228
01:03:41,240 --> 01:03:43,760
Speaker 4: That's insane.

1229
01:03:43,960 --> 01:03:45,680
Speaker 6: But when you have this.

1230
01:03:47,240 --> 01:03:51,000
Speaker 10: Type of dishonor that's the best way I can put it.

1231
01:03:51,920 --> 01:03:56,720
Speaker 10: Going on with our people, how how do you expect

1232
01:03:57,320 --> 01:04:04,120
Speaker 10: people to to behave? How you expect them to give?

1233
01:04:03,680 --> 01:04:09,360
Speaker 10: I go to counseling three times a week. I do

1234
01:04:09,480 --> 01:04:12,520
Speaker 10: everything I need to do to be a better person.

1235
01:04:12,560 --> 01:04:17,320
Speaker 10: But still it's a nightmare and it's so much shame.

1236
01:04:17,840 --> 01:04:20,520
Speaker 10: Wait a minute, I'm a I'm a black man, I

1237
01:04:20,520 --> 01:04:24,960
Speaker 10: have a job, I make money. But you can't have

1238
01:04:25,080 --> 01:04:28,680
Speaker 10: a mental disability because something's wrong with you.

1239
01:04:28,720 --> 01:04:31,280
Speaker 4: Old that nigga crazy? Oh this is and all this stuff.

1240
01:04:31,560 --> 01:04:37,040
Speaker 10: So I ask everyone in here and the people on stage,

1241
01:04:37,640 --> 01:04:39,360
Speaker 10: what did you do with that?

1242
01:04:40,480 --> 01:04:40,920
Speaker 6: Thank you?

1243
01:04:41,560 --> 01:04:44,520
Speaker 4: Thank you for that, Andrew, I.

1244
01:04:44,680 --> 01:04:49,520
Speaker 5: Just I simply gonna say that it those people, it's

1245
01:04:49,560 --> 01:04:53,160
Speaker 5: a greater reflection on their herb than it is on

1246
01:04:53,240 --> 01:04:56,600
Speaker 5: your psycheoasis, your state of affairs. People have a way

1247
01:04:56,640 --> 01:05:01,600
Speaker 5: of really projecting onto others the insecurities that they feel

1248
01:05:02,040 --> 01:05:05,000
Speaker 5: with themselves. I told I shared this on the last

1249
01:05:05,000 --> 01:05:08,760
Speaker 5: week's show, where you know, after the race, and I

1250
01:05:08,840 --> 01:05:09,800
Speaker 5: was at my lowest low.

1251
01:05:09,840 --> 01:05:13,640
Speaker 4: People would you know, would say really cruel and very.

1252
01:05:17,040 --> 01:05:20,000
Speaker 5: Cutting and biting things, things that you don't think you

1253
01:05:20,040 --> 01:05:23,200
Speaker 5: could muster for a person if you didn't know them intimately.

1254
01:05:24,800 --> 01:05:26,120
Speaker 5: And I had to come to and I told my

1255
01:05:26,160 --> 01:05:28,600
Speaker 5: wife this because she was very upset about a celebrity

1256
01:05:28,680 --> 01:05:31,640
Speaker 5: who had said something about her. And I said, Jay

1257
01:05:31,680 --> 01:05:35,240
Speaker 5: that Letty don't know you from Tom Adams cat and

1258
01:05:35,280 --> 01:05:37,400
Speaker 5: the fact that she wrote to you a long inbox

1259
01:05:37,480 --> 01:05:41,880
Speaker 5: email cussing you from left to right about your life

1260
01:05:41,960 --> 01:05:45,920
Speaker 5: decisions isn't because she's so concerned with your life decisions.

1261
01:05:47,080 --> 01:05:52,240
Speaker 5: It's because something about our situation has triggered likely in

1262
01:05:52,400 --> 01:05:54,760
Speaker 5: experience that she's had in her life, and that was

1263
01:05:55,160 --> 01:05:58,280
Speaker 5: slight differences here and there, but she couldn't say to

1264
01:05:58,360 --> 01:06:01,840
Speaker 5: that person what needed to be said, and so she's

1265
01:06:01,880 --> 01:06:05,800
Speaker 5: projecting it and she's saying it to us, and it's

1266
01:06:05,920 --> 01:06:08,360
Speaker 5: now our job to say that's none of my business.

1267
01:06:09,600 --> 01:06:12,000
Speaker 5: None of that is my business. So if you got

1268
01:06:12,040 --> 01:06:14,919
Speaker 5: heat for me, that is what it is. But I'm

1269
01:06:14,960 --> 01:06:17,360
Speaker 5: not the cause of the pain that you're experiencing right now.

1270
01:06:17,640 --> 01:06:19,720
Speaker 5: So I just I think you ought to know that

1271
01:06:19,760 --> 01:06:23,960
Speaker 5: because it helps to It helps in those situations to

1272
01:06:24,000 --> 01:06:27,560
Speaker 5: be able to clearly see these haters, the folks who

1273
01:06:27,600 --> 01:06:30,600
Speaker 5: are distracting the name called and all that stuff. They

1274
01:06:30,600 --> 01:06:36,720
Speaker 5: are screaming for help, screaming for it, terrified with what

1275
01:06:36,760 --> 01:06:41,120
Speaker 5: it means if they get it, so they keep abusing

1276
01:06:41,320 --> 01:06:42,280
Speaker 5: hurt people, hurt people.

1277
01:06:42,360 --> 01:06:43,240
Speaker 4: That saying is real.

1278
01:06:43,800 --> 01:06:45,680
Speaker 3: I think that at the end of the day, you know,

1279
01:06:45,760 --> 01:06:47,840
Speaker 3: we have this, We have a trauma that has not

1280
01:06:47,920 --> 01:06:49,880
Speaker 3: been dealt with for a very long period of time,

1281
01:06:50,600 --> 01:06:55,280
Speaker 3: and we keep persevering. Every generation perseveres that much more

1282
01:06:55,320 --> 01:06:57,479
Speaker 3: than the next. I want to give this young lady

1283
01:06:57,480 --> 01:07:00,840
Speaker 3: to my far left stand up a round of applause,

1284
01:07:00,880 --> 01:07:04,439
Speaker 3: players paring up here and sharing. We didn't I don't

1285
01:07:04,440 --> 01:07:07,280
Speaker 3: think that she anticipated this conversation with us. I'm glad

1286
01:07:07,320 --> 01:07:11,120
Speaker 3: you all beared with us for this conversation. I before

1287
01:07:11,160 --> 01:07:15,440
Speaker 3: we uh, before we end, I do want us to

1288
01:07:16,960 --> 01:07:20,840
Speaker 3: remember in your gospel music singing or your prayers at night.

1289
01:07:20,840 --> 01:07:22,200
Speaker 3: I don't know if y'all still say your now. I

1290
01:07:22,280 --> 01:07:24,040
Speaker 3: laim he's down in the big city of Atlanta where

1291
01:07:24,080 --> 01:07:27,360
Speaker 3: all eat lamb chops and have ivy walls every Sunday

1292
01:07:27,360 --> 01:07:31,120
Speaker 3: for breakfast. I want you to all to remember Papa

1293
01:07:31,240 --> 01:07:36,800
Speaker 3: Ray and Angela Ray's father the Devil, that the Gospel

1294
01:07:36,840 --> 01:07:38,960
Speaker 3: doesn't teach us that they should not have a weapon.

1295
01:07:39,000 --> 01:07:41,880
Speaker 3: He just says that the weapons shall not prosper. So

1296
01:07:42,040 --> 01:07:45,080
Speaker 3: let that be our prayer. And then Tiffany. We're gonna

1297
01:07:45,120 --> 01:07:47,360
Speaker 3: let Tiffany take us out because she is our blessing.

1298
01:07:47,440 --> 01:07:52,720
Speaker 3: And as you see, Tiffany has fans everywhere, so go ahead.

1299
01:07:53,440 --> 01:07:57,280
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you. I just want to say, really

1300
01:07:57,360 --> 01:08:00,920
Speaker 1: quickly to the king in the back who shared his story,

1301
01:08:01,440 --> 01:08:05,880
Speaker 1: that the people who are small enough to make fun

1302
01:08:05,920 --> 01:08:09,440
Speaker 1: of you would never have the courage to stand up

1303
01:08:09,560 --> 01:08:12,200
Speaker 1: in a room like this and share what you shared.

1304
01:08:13,640 --> 01:08:15,880
Speaker 1: So I want to honor you, brother, I want to

1305
01:08:15,920 --> 01:08:19,040
Speaker 1: honor your vulnerability, and I want to thank you for

1306
01:08:19,080 --> 01:08:22,320
Speaker 1: having the trust in us to receive your story with

1307
01:08:22,479 --> 01:08:25,920
Speaker 1: care and grace. And the next time that happens, I

1308
01:08:25,920 --> 01:08:28,639
Speaker 1: hope you can remember Andrew's words. It is more about

1309
01:08:28,680 --> 01:08:31,920
Speaker 1: them than it is about you. And I see you,

1310
01:08:32,200 --> 01:08:34,679
Speaker 1: and we see you for the king who you are,

1311
01:08:34,880 --> 01:08:38,880
Speaker 1: so thank you for that. I want to thank everybody

1312
01:08:38,960 --> 01:08:42,240
Speaker 1: for coming out. I will give a shameless plug if

1313
01:08:42,280 --> 01:08:45,360
Speaker 1: you guys don't mind a lot of the conversations that

1314
01:08:45,400 --> 01:08:47,479
Speaker 1: we had tonight. I have a new book coming out

1315
01:08:47,520 --> 01:08:51,840
Speaker 1: May fifth, thank you. It is Love Me, a Letter

1316
01:08:51,880 --> 01:08:54,920
Speaker 1: to Black Women in a toxic country, career and relationship.

1317
01:08:54,920 --> 01:08:59,000
Speaker 1: It's available everywhere books are sold today, but you'll get

1318
01:08:59,040 --> 01:09:03,960
Speaker 1: it on mayfe I'll be joining Native Land Pod. The

1319
01:09:04,000 --> 01:09:07,719
Speaker 1: episode will drop April thirtieth. Yeah, so we'll be back

1320
01:09:07,760 --> 01:09:12,760
Speaker 1: together again and truly this space. It's so touching to

1321
01:09:12,760 --> 01:09:15,280
Speaker 1: hear everybody say this is your favorite podcast and you

1322
01:09:15,320 --> 01:09:19,519
Speaker 1: all listen. I just thank you that y'all still pity

1323
01:09:19,560 --> 01:09:23,080
Speaker 1: them and listen. After I left, shit.

1324
01:09:23,680 --> 01:09:24,439
Speaker 6: It got better.

1325
01:09:26,640 --> 01:09:28,160
Speaker 4: I miss her every day.

1326
01:09:29,160 --> 01:09:31,160
Speaker 1: I miss these guys, but I'm blessed to still talk

1327
01:09:31,200 --> 01:09:33,160
Speaker 1: to them all the time. But it just means so

1328
01:09:33,240 --> 01:09:35,800
Speaker 1: much to us that you all the things that y'all

1329
01:09:35,800 --> 01:09:38,280
Speaker 1: could be doing, that you would show up here with

1330
01:09:38,400 --> 01:09:42,080
Speaker 1: us tonight and these spaces for this type of conversation.

1331
01:09:42,240 --> 01:09:45,439
Speaker 1: I feel safe with you all because us loving each

1332
01:09:45,439 --> 01:09:49,000
Speaker 1: other has always been the key to our survival. So

1333
01:09:49,120 --> 01:09:51,479
Speaker 1: whatever you took from tonight, I hope you leave here

1334
01:09:51,520 --> 01:09:54,599
Speaker 1: tonight with a little more love and care for each

1335
01:09:54,640 --> 01:10:00,000
Speaker 1: other's feelings. And emotions and carry each other with delicateness

1336
01:10:00,080 --> 01:10:01,439
Speaker 1: because that's what we need right now.

1337
01:10:01,720 --> 01:10:04,200
Speaker 4: Welcome home, Welcome home home, y'all, Thank you guys.

1338
01:10:04,200 --> 01:10:07,280
Speaker 6: Make sure you tip your waitresses. Good night, Drive home safe.

1339
01:10:07,040 --> 01:10:10,080
Speaker 2: Welcome home to the Native landing on the podcast face.

1340
01:10:10,160 --> 01:10:11,280
Speaker 4: That's a for greatness.

1341
01:10:11,320 --> 01:10:13,760
Speaker 2: Sixty minutes is so hit, not too long for the

1342
01:10:13,800 --> 01:10:16,720
Speaker 2: great shit, high level combo politics in a way that

1343
01:10:16,760 --> 01:10:20,879
Speaker 2: you could taste it then digest it. Politics touches you even.

1344
01:10:20,680 --> 01:10:22,760
Speaker 4: If you don't touch it. So get invested.

1345
01:10:23,040 --> 01:10:25,840
Speaker 2: Across the t's and doctor I kill them, got them

1346
01:10:25,840 --> 01:10:28,760
Speaker 2: as sellers, staying on business or why you could have.

1347
01:10:28,760 --> 01:10:30,240
Speaker 4: Been anywhere but you truse us.

1348
01:10:30,320 --> 01:10:33,080
Speaker 2: Native Lampod is a brand that you can trusty.

1349
01:10:50,840 --> 01:10:53,519
Speaker 1: Native Lampod is a production of iHeart Radio and partnership

1350
01:10:53,520 --> 01:10:56,240
Speaker 1: with Resent Choice Media. For more podcasts from my heart Radio,

1351
01:10:56,320 --> 01:10:59,400
Speaker 1: visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen

1352
01:10:59,479 --> 01:11:00,400
Speaker 1: to your favorite shout