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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that's helping people mourn their loved

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Speaker 1: ones with the new AI smart urn where your phone

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Speaker 1: vacuums up the ashes through the speaker hole so Granny

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Speaker 1: can be with you wherever you go. Grandma finally figured

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Speaker 1: out bluetooth thanks to Laser Stories, the segment where we

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Speaker 1: read weird new stories around the globe, just like everyone

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Speaker 1: else does, except we've got a laser and there's other

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Speaker 1: ash bashers just don't his first Lazer Stories out of

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Speaker 1: New York City, police are looking for a thirty six

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Speaker 1: year old named Stephen Blassetti.

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Speaker 2: You know him, No, no, because worth asking the police.

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Speaker 1: Are looking for is at the end of the story.

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Speaker 3: I got his number, the one guy in New York.

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Speaker 1: Steven's coming off a wild weekend, though, because authorities say

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Speaker 1: he stole a boat and took a naked joy ride

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Speaker 1: down the Hudson.

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Speaker 3: There's something that just hits differently being naked on a boat.

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Speaker 1: You know, he was allegedly on something at the time,

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Speaker 1: possibly meth. And we know this because at one point

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Speaker 1: the cops caught up with Stephen and took him straight

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Speaker 1: to the hospital for a psychiatric evaluation for acting more

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Speaker 1: than loopy.

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Speaker 3: Okay, okay, well that's a good move, you know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: But early the next morning, the officer who was guarding

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Speaker 1: him at the hospital dozed off and Steven somehow swiped

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Speaker 1: the keys to his handcuffs.

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Speaker 3: I mean just a little tiptoe.

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Speaker 1: Then he grabbed a white lab coat in blue pants

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Speaker 1: to disguise himself as a doctor so that he could

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Speaker 1: slip out of the hospital unnoticed, just.

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Speaker 3: Like out of a movie. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Incredibly, it worked, and he was seen on surveillance video

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Speaker 1: leaving the hospital with one victory fist up in the air.

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Speaker 1: Police are asking the public learning information that can help

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Speaker 1: them find him, who, by the way, seems to be

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Speaker 1: mentally fit considering his escape. So I'm not sure about

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Speaker 1: the naked joy ride, but his ability to get out

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Speaker 1: of a sticky situation.

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Speaker 3: He's on top of it could have their moments, you know.

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Speaker 1: This next Lazer story is out of San Luis Obispo.

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Speaker 1: A forty three year old homeless man named Armando Vidal

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Speaker 1: was at a library recently checking his lottery numbers online

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Speaker 1: and realized he was a two hundred dollars winner.

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Speaker 2: Wow, that had never happened to him before.

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Speaker 1: So he left the library and made his way over

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Speaker 1: to Sandy's Delian Liquor, where he bought the ticket, and

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Speaker 1: when he turned it in, the clerk scanned it and

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Speaker 1: then looked at Armando and said to him calmly, so

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Speaker 1: what are you gonna do with a million bucks?

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Speaker 4: What?

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Speaker 3: A million dollars? Who read the lottery to get wrong? Him?

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Speaker 3: Or the clerk?

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Speaker 2: I hold the homeless guy? Armando laughed, but the clerk

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Speaker 2: was not joking.

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Speaker 1: He scanned the ticket again and wouldn't you know it,

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Speaker 1: he'd initially.

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Speaker 2: Read it wrong, and Armando found out there he was

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Speaker 2: a million dollar winner.

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Speaker 1: The clerk told him that in order to claim his prize,

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Speaker 1: Armando would need to visit an official California lottery office

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Speaker 1: to do it, so we offered to drive him to

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Speaker 1: one where his winnings were verified. Just days later, Armando

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Speaker 1: shared his plans for the money. He's going to use

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Speaker 1: it to secure a home with a bed and a

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Speaker 1: couple of dogs.

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Speaker 2: Sorry drugs, Oh no, dogs, it's dogs. Maybe there we go.

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Speaker 1: He also intends to invest his winnings to ensure a

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Speaker 1: steady income.

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Speaker 3: That's awesome.

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Speaker 1: Good for you, Armando. This next laser story is out

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Speaker 1: of Amsterdam. A group of tech nerds came up with

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Speaker 1: a new gadget called a dream recorder that turns your

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Speaker 1: dreams into actual videos. Wow. But it doesn't actually scan

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Speaker 1: your brain waves. You have to remember your dream and

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Speaker 1: describe what it was, and then it'll turn your description

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Speaker 1: into a YouTube short.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I always.

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Speaker 1: Forget my Yeah, like I wake up and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: oh my gosh, what were the details.

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Speaker 3: That's amazing. You have to have the recorder right next

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Speaker 3: to your bed, and you have to do it immediately. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So the device, it's slightly bigger than an alarm clock,

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Speaker 1: with a screen on the front that shows.

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Speaker 2: Colorful, low definition.

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Speaker 1: Clips of your dream and all the examples that they

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Speaker 1: share look kind of more like an acid trip than

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Speaker 1: a real life photo.

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Speaker 3: Isn't that how everyone's dreams are though?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's kind of true to what the

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Speaker 2: dream is.

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Speaker 1: As for the product, it stores a week's worth of them,

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Speaker 1: and they say it's meant for reflecting on the meaning

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Speaker 1: of your dreams as they echo into your waking life.

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Speaker 3: Or just seeing how weird you are. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: The good news is it's somewhat affordable. The bad news

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Speaker 1: is you can't buy one. You have to build it.

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Speaker 3: I thought you were going to give us the link.

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Speaker 1: Now they claim it's not that hard and post a

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Speaker 1: a large shopping list with instructions on how to put

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Speaker 1: it together on tech nerds.

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Speaker 3: Is this like the how to country of the world.

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Speaker 1: It's apparently built on top of an AI video app

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Speaker 1: called Luma, and they say the total cost of everything

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Speaker 1: after you get it is around three hundred and thirty

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Speaker 1: dollars plus fifteen cents per dream.

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Speaker 3: I would have gone forty nine ninety nine. I'm out.

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Speaker 1: Next Lazer stories out of swim posium hall. It's summer,

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Speaker 1: so you may have recently been grossed out by having

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Speaker 1: to use a porta potty or some park toilets or

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Speaker 1: your uncle Diego's pit hole behind is a legal distillery.

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Speaker 3: Pills are clean if you put enough ash down in.

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Speaker 1: Sure, But is this worse because in a new survey,

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Speaker 1: fifty three percent of Americans admit they've peed in a

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Speaker 1: pool as an adult.

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Speaker 2: As an adult people, oh my god.

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Speaker 1: And forty eight percent don't wash their swimsuits with soap

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Speaker 1: after every swim.

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Speaker 2: Let's place a starting to suck.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, when I guess if I'm swimming multiple days in

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Speaker 4: a row, I'll just hang it out to dry and

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Speaker 4: then yet back on.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Twenty three percent also claimed they would not report a

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Speaker 1: code brown in a community or a hotel pool because

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Speaker 1: it could lead to it being temporarily closed down.

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Speaker 2: It should pool time.

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Speaker 3: I worked at a rec center. You had to close

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Speaker 3: it down all day. It was done if there was.

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Speaker 4: But it was amazing how many moms also reported their

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Speaker 4: kids just peen in the pool.

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Speaker 3: That takes a couple hours to shock it.

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Speaker 2: You know, then that's it.

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Speaker 1: You lose your pool privileges. Of course you're not going

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Speaker 1: to report that. And get this, fourteen percent of swimmers

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Speaker 1: say they personally remove the floating Snickers bar in order

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Speaker 1: to avoid a shutdown.

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Speaker 3: Wow, disgusting. Moves it and then jumps back in.

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Speaker 2: It's wrong.

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Speaker 1: It brings me to this point though, Will somebody please

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Speaker 1: invite this guy to a summer pool party. I mean,

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Speaker 1: he's respectful, he doesn't take up a lot of space.

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Speaker 2: Just don't leave your.

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Speaker 1: Sandals unattended on the pool deck and then you'll be fine. Okay,

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Speaker 1: And that's how these laser stories has come to an

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Speaker 1: end for the day. We'll do it again, same time

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Speaker 1: on Wednesday.

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Speaker 3: Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning,