WEBVTT - Thursday Therapy: Don’t Stress It 0:00:01.960 --> 0:00:05.359 Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio Podcast. 0:00:06.840 --> 0:00:09.440 This week's Thursday Therapy, we have doctor Adit, She's a 0:00:09.440 --> 0:00:13.880 Harvard physician nationally recognized stress expert. We also have my 0:00:13.920 --> 0:00:18.160 amazing fiance joining this Thursday Therapy episode. How would you 0:00:18.200 --> 0:00:24.959 say you'd handle stress? You're thrown that question and welcome 0:00:25.000 --> 0:00:26.239 to wind Down Baby. 0:00:27.160 --> 0:00:32.080 How do I handle stress? I handle it deffinitely now 0:00:32.360 --> 0:00:38.440 as I've got older. I think, first of all, you 0:00:38.520 --> 0:00:41.159 can you become better to choose and what you stress 0:00:41.200 --> 0:00:44.040 over and the volume of things that you can stress 0:00:44.080 --> 0:00:48.800 over and what you can control. But I think taking 0:00:48.840 --> 0:00:52.279 time to yourself and even like I know it's cliche 0:00:52.400 --> 0:00:56.520 and it's overused, but meditation and breathing techniques really help 0:00:56.840 --> 0:01:01.120 me in stressful situations. Like even in the moment of stress, 0:01:01.160 --> 0:01:04.360 whether it's a trigger of something, just deep breaths within 0:01:04.480 --> 0:01:10.480 that moment just help to calm me and control my emotions, 0:01:10.480 --> 0:01:12.640 which then helps control the stress. 0:01:13.040 --> 0:01:15.640 It's interesting that you mentioned the age thing, because that 0:01:15.760 --> 0:01:17.720 was going to be one of my questions to her, 0:01:18.440 --> 0:01:20.840 because I feel like a lot of people even they 0:01:20.880 --> 0:01:24.040 say when you're an older parent, they you like, let's 0:01:24.040 --> 0:01:27.920 say a parent has a child at a young age 0:01:27.959 --> 0:01:30.040 and having an older age, Oh well you had a 0:01:30.120 --> 0:01:33.120 like for example, I'll say, like my dad was way 0:01:33.240 --> 0:01:37.680 less chill with my sisters as opposed to me. So 0:01:37.720 --> 0:01:41.800 it's it's interesting when we can handle stress better with age. 0:01:41.840 --> 0:01:44.880 And I'm curious actually why that is, because you would 0:01:44.920 --> 0:01:47.440 think with age comes more stress. 0:01:47.720 --> 0:01:51.200 I think you'll learn to prioritize what affects you, and 0:01:51.360 --> 0:01:55.480 maturity tends to do that, Like there'll be far more 0:01:55.520 --> 0:01:59.080 things will affect you, and now at the age of 0:01:59.600 --> 0:02:05.240 forty excuse yourself. Excuse yourself, at the age of forty, 0:02:05.640 --> 0:02:07.559 and there would have been in your twenties. 0:02:10.800 --> 0:02:13.240 Yes, And there's also things that stress me out more 0:02:13.280 --> 0:02:16.960 now in my forties and in my twenties, like I 0:02:17.040 --> 0:02:22.040 have the weight of the world in forties, just you know, 0:02:22.280 --> 0:02:26.359 support in children, and so that stress is so different 0:02:26.360 --> 0:02:30.920 than when I didn't have that, you know, obviously that responsibility. 0:02:30.760 --> 0:02:33.560 But that you now have the tools to manage it sure, 0:02:33.720 --> 0:02:38.000 Whereas if you had this responsibility, this amount of responsibility 0:02:38.800 --> 0:02:41.840 in your early twenties, you probably wouldn't have had the 0:02:41.880 --> 0:02:44.960 tools to manage it properly. 0:02:46.360 --> 0:02:47.920 How do you think I handle stress? 0:02:49.639 --> 0:02:52.920 I think you manage stress really well because you're I mean, 0:02:52.960 --> 0:02:56.959 there's so many, so many variants of stress, but you're 0:02:57.040 --> 0:03:07.280 so busy all the time, and you're constantly juggling everything podcasting, acting, marketing, stuff, 0:03:07.320 --> 0:03:11.959 influencing and stuff, so your plate's always full. So therefore, 0:03:12.040 --> 0:03:14.959 but I think you're really good on managing Okay, I'll 0:03:15.000 --> 0:03:17.000 allow this to affect me or I won't allow it 0:03:17.000 --> 0:03:21.359 to affect me, And like everyone, you have your moments, 0:03:21.680 --> 0:03:24.720 but I think you handle and whether it's stress. I 0:03:24.760 --> 0:03:28.040 think there's a difference between stress and pressure, A big difference. 0:03:28.280 --> 0:03:31.200 Your pressure to get things done, your pressure to perform, 0:03:31.400 --> 0:03:33.440 your pressure to look after the kids. I think that's 0:03:33.480 --> 0:03:34.720 really different from stress. 0:03:35.360 --> 0:03:38.360 Oh interesting, what do you tell me? What? Why? 0:03:39.600 --> 0:03:44.600 Well, a pressure is mostly something that you put on yourself, 0:03:45.000 --> 0:03:47.000 like your pressures in life will be mostly the ones 0:03:47.000 --> 0:03:48.040 that you put on yourself. 0:03:48.640 --> 0:03:49.600 But isn't that stress? 0:03:50.160 --> 0:03:53.080 No, I mean, just about to speak to an expert 0:03:53.160 --> 0:03:55.120 on it, but I think there's a really big difference 0:03:55.120 --> 0:03:58.800 between pressure and stress. Pressure. You you can a lot 0:03:58.800 --> 0:04:01.800 of people thrive on pressure, but a lot of people 0:04:01.960 --> 0:04:03.400 will deem stresses onhealthy. 0:04:04.880 --> 0:04:06.760 I guess I don't know them. What the difference is 0:04:06.760 --> 0:04:08.320 because it feels like the same to me. 0:04:08.560 --> 0:04:14.160 It's totally different. And the professional world like the difference 0:04:14.160 --> 0:04:16.720 between pressure and stresses, Like I. 0:04:16.720 --> 0:04:18.720 Get the pressure, like, Okay, I have to study all 0:04:18.720 --> 0:04:22.400 these lines. That's pressure. But to me that's also stress, 0:04:23.000 --> 0:04:25.119 Like I'm stressed to have to learn all these lines. 0:04:25.160 --> 0:04:27.880 I'm pressured to learn all these lines. It feels like 0:04:28.000 --> 0:04:30.920 to me, the same effect or the same weight. 0:04:31.080 --> 0:04:34.600 I would say, I think there's a big difference. 0:04:34.800 --> 0:04:37.640 So well, luckily we've got a stress expert that just 0:04:38.200 --> 0:04:40.719 jumped down the zoom. Let's get her on, Doctor Adit. 0:04:41.480 --> 0:04:43.680 I'm Janna. This is my fiance Alan. 0:04:43.880 --> 0:04:44.480 Nice to meet you. 0:04:44.720 --> 0:04:47.000 Hi, guys. I know all about you because I've been 0:04:47.080 --> 0:04:50.200 binging it your podcast for the past few weeks, so 0:04:50.279 --> 0:04:52.599 I am like, I'm a true fan. 0:04:53.560 --> 0:04:56.880 It's very sweet, thank you, and I'm I'm excited to 0:04:56.880 --> 0:04:58.559 talk to you because we were just having a little 0:04:58.560 --> 0:05:00.919 bit of a conversation before you came on about stress, 0:05:00.960 --> 0:05:04.400 and you know, he was saying how pressure is different 0:05:04.440 --> 0:05:07.039 than stress, and I you know, I'm very happy to 0:05:07.040 --> 0:05:09.279 have you on because when he was saying that, I'm like, man, 0:05:09.360 --> 0:05:13.080 I get pressure and stress maybe being different, but it's 0:05:13.080 --> 0:05:15.839 the same effect for me. So like if I feel 0:05:16.279 --> 0:05:17.960 like I was an example I was using, was I 0:05:17.960 --> 0:05:20.200 felt pressure to learn all my lines for the last 0:05:20.200 --> 0:05:22.400 movie I was in, but it was also stressful the 0:05:22.440 --> 0:05:25.600 same thing. So I guess what is your take on 0:05:25.640 --> 0:05:29.279 that pressure versus stress? And then yeah, then let's just 0:05:29.279 --> 0:05:30.120 dive into all of it. 0:05:31.360 --> 0:05:34.479 That's a great place to start. So when you say 0:05:34.640 --> 0:05:39.159 pressure versus stress, what you guys are really talking about 0:05:39.400 --> 0:05:42.640 is that there are two kinds of stress and not 0:05:42.720 --> 0:05:45.200 all stress is created equals. So when you say pressure, 0:05:45.279 --> 0:05:49.039 you're talking about healthy, good stress. And then when you 0:05:49.080 --> 0:05:51.400 say stress, like most of us when we throw that 0:05:51.440 --> 0:05:53.280 word around, like I've had a stressful week or I've 0:05:53.279 --> 0:05:55.799 had a stressful day, what we're talking about is unhealthy stress. 0:05:55.839 --> 0:05:58.200 So there's two distinct types of stress, and they both 0:05:58.240 --> 0:06:00.159 impact your brain and body in different ways. You know, 0:06:00.640 --> 0:06:05.560 healthy positive stress. In scientific terms, it's known as adaptive stress. 0:06:05.560 --> 0:06:07.800 We won't use too many scientific words. And then the 0:06:08.040 --> 0:06:12.839 unhealthy stress is known as maladaptive stress. Everything that moves 0:06:12.880 --> 0:06:15.760 your life forward was created because of a little bit 0:06:15.800 --> 0:06:18.640 of healthy stress. So, like you said you were learning 0:06:18.680 --> 0:06:21.440 lines for your movie, or you're rooty for your favorite 0:06:21.440 --> 0:06:24.560 sports team, you make a new friend, get a new job, 0:06:24.640 --> 0:06:27.200 or a promotion, or a new movie role, or I 0:06:27.200 --> 0:06:29.440 don't know, buy a new car or a home, or 0:06:29.720 --> 0:06:33.560 planning for your next vacation. All wonderful positive things in 0:06:33.640 --> 0:06:36.520 your life, but they are stressful. Though they are a 0:06:36.680 --> 0:06:39.320 healthy form of stress. They help move your life forward. 0:06:39.640 --> 0:06:42.000 Unhealthy stress is things that we already know about when 0:06:42.040 --> 0:06:44.600 we say, oh I'm so stressed, or it's a stressful week, 0:06:44.839 --> 0:06:49.159 that's that unproductive, dysfunctional stress that really stops you in 0:06:49.200 --> 0:06:51.680 your tracks. The goal of life is not to live 0:06:51.800 --> 0:06:54.320 a life without stress. That is a myth and it's 0:06:54.360 --> 0:06:57.960 actually biologically impossible to do that. It's to live a 0:06:57.960 --> 0:07:02.320 life with healthy, manageable stress. And what often happens is 0:07:02.600 --> 0:07:06.919 when healthy stress gets out of hand, it can become unproductive. 0:07:06.960 --> 0:07:09.920 So it's about raining it in back to healthy levels 0:07:09.960 --> 0:07:12.360 so that I can serve you rather than harm you. 0:07:12.920 --> 0:07:18.120 Mm hm that makes sense, yeah, absolutely absolutely? And how 0:07:18.240 --> 0:07:21.960 what are the key aspects for someone to know when 0:07:22.840 --> 0:07:26.800 stress becomes unhealthy? If you talk about healthy stress and 0:07:26.840 --> 0:07:30.480 unhealthy stress, what are the key the key points that 0:07:30.640 --> 0:07:35.080 then recognizing that okay, this is now unhealthy and it's 0:07:35.120 --> 0:07:35.600 halting me. 0:07:36.040 --> 0:07:39.720 Yeah. So you know when you think about how stress 0:07:39.960 --> 0:07:43.720 or healthy stress influences your brain. When you're feeling a 0:07:43.720 --> 0:07:45.960 sense of healthy stress, right, it is like a sense 0:07:45.960 --> 0:07:50.800 of excitement or those healthy positive nerves. Excitement and fear 0:07:51.160 --> 0:07:53.480 reside in the same part of our brain, which is 0:07:53.520 --> 0:07:55.800 a good kind of reframe. When you're feeling like, oh, 0:07:55.800 --> 0:07:57.760 there's this new thing coming up and I'm not really 0:07:57.760 --> 0:07:59.480 sure if I can do it, and you want to 0:07:59.560 --> 0:08:02.760 keep it in healthy bounds, you can think to yourself, oh, 0:08:02.800 --> 0:08:07.560 it's excitement rather than a fear. That's one reframe. But stress, 0:08:07.720 --> 0:08:10.560 the unhealthy kind of stress. There's like a million flavors. 0:08:10.600 --> 0:08:15.280 So you can have body manifestations of unhealthy stress like 0:08:16.120 --> 0:08:19.440 I don't know, headaches, neck pain, shoulder pain, back pain, 0:08:19.560 --> 0:08:23.800 abdominal pain, feeling dizzy or nauseous, and then the mental 0:08:23.840 --> 0:08:28.760 health manifestations of too much stress, too much unhealthy stress, anxiety, depressions, 0:08:28.880 --> 0:08:35.400 sleep disturbances, dirtability, a quick sense of anger, emotional reactivity, 0:08:35.880 --> 0:08:38.280 and in some cases feeling a sense of fatigue or 0:08:38.320 --> 0:08:42.520 low energy. So it really depends. Every person is different, 0:08:42.679 --> 0:08:46.240 and what seems like a stress event or a stress 0:08:46.280 --> 0:08:49.560 symptom to me is really different for a stress symptom 0:08:49.600 --> 0:08:52.840 for you for example, or even between you, there's probably 0:08:52.880 --> 0:08:55.800 something that you do is really different than you know, 0:08:55.920 --> 0:08:58.720 than your partner. So it really does depend. The key 0:08:58.800 --> 0:09:01.080 is to know what your baseline. So when you're feeling 0:09:01.120 --> 0:09:03.400 good and you know, if you're not feeling a lot 0:09:03.400 --> 0:09:06.240 of stress, then how do you feel? And then it's 0:09:06.320 --> 0:09:09.040 kind of like your tell. So I talk about this 0:09:09.160 --> 0:09:12.400 idea of the canary in the coal mine, which is 0:09:12.440 --> 0:09:15.280 a historical reference. I am so not into history. I'm 0:09:15.280 --> 0:09:18.960 not a history buff, but I love this metaphor. Back 0:09:19.400 --> 0:09:21.680 when there were coal miners in like World War two, 0:09:21.720 --> 0:09:23.360 they would go into the mines and they would bring 0:09:23.360 --> 0:09:26.400 a canary, a caged bird with them. The air would 0:09:26.400 --> 0:09:29.760 turn bad, but the coal miners were just toiling away 0:09:29.800 --> 0:09:32.880 and working for you know, sixteen twenty hour days. When 0:09:32.920 --> 0:09:36.000 the canary would stop singing, that's when they were like, 0:09:36.040 --> 0:09:37.760 oh wait a second, the air is bad. We need 0:09:37.800 --> 0:09:40.560 to leave the mines. And we as humans were like 0:09:40.880 --> 0:09:44.880 historically really bad at knowing what our canary song is 0:09:45.000 --> 0:09:48.240 like when is it too much? And only when our 0:09:48.320 --> 0:09:51.400 canary we all have one, when it starts belting a tune. 0:09:51.800 --> 0:09:54.600 That's when we pay attention, and that's like, really the 0:09:54.640 --> 0:09:57.360 sign of unhealthy stress that's gotten way out of hand. 0:09:57.720 --> 0:10:00.760 Everyone has its own everyone has their and canary song. 0:10:01.440 --> 0:10:16.920 Yeah, that's interesting, that's really cool. I love that. I 0:10:16.960 --> 0:10:22.960 have a friend who she went through years of infidelity. 0:10:23.000 --> 0:10:25.280 She ended up getting cancer. A lot of people said, well, 0:10:25.280 --> 0:10:27.600 it's because the stress. You know, your body keeps a score. 0:10:28.520 --> 0:10:33.959 Is there anything scientifically backing what stress like a stress 0:10:34.160 --> 0:10:39.560 can cause cancer or anything that to that effect. 0:10:39.760 --> 0:10:42.680 So I'm really sorry for your friend for having gone 0:10:42.760 --> 0:10:47.520 through that. And you know, so many times with patients 0:10:47.520 --> 0:10:49.720 that I've seen, they get a chronic illness and then 0:10:49.720 --> 0:10:52.720 they're in my office and they're weeping saying it's because 0:10:52.720 --> 0:10:55.880 of this that happened, or you know, like you blame yourself. 0:10:55.920 --> 0:10:59.920 There's a lot of self blame and you often gaslight yourself, 0:11:00.080 --> 0:11:02.120 right like thinking, oh, it's my fault and it's never 0:11:02.200 --> 0:11:04.920 your fault. And if something happens, I would say, the 0:11:05.000 --> 0:11:08.400 science shows that it's not necessarily a cause. Like she 0:11:08.480 --> 0:11:09.960 had a lot of stress in her life, that is 0:11:10.000 --> 0:11:15.280 not what caused her cancer, but stress contributes to chronic 0:11:15.320 --> 0:11:19.560 medical conditions. So One startling statistic is that sixty to 0:11:19.600 --> 0:11:24.160 eighty percent of all doctor's visits have a stress related component, 0:11:24.880 --> 0:11:27.640 even though only three percent of doctor's visits have stress 0:11:27.679 --> 0:11:30.400 management counseling. That's not to say that like sixty to 0:11:30.400 --> 0:11:33.600 eighty percent of doctor's visits are caused by stress. But 0:11:33.679 --> 0:11:35.960 let's say you have a history of migraines, which is 0:11:36.240 --> 0:11:38.920 really common thing for people to have. Stress will make 0:11:38.920 --> 0:11:41.440 your migraines worse, will make your flares worse, You'll have 0:11:41.480 --> 0:11:44.120 more pain, more frequency of flares, or if you have 0:11:44.160 --> 0:11:47.960 rheumatoid arthritis, that can happen, you know, if it does 0:11:48.200 --> 0:11:50.560 have an impact on your chronic conditions. But it's not 0:11:50.600 --> 0:11:53.880 to say that for your friends, particularly that years of 0:11:53.960 --> 0:11:57.559 stress caused her cancer. I think it's really unfair because 0:11:57.559 --> 0:12:01.280 it makes the person who is going through that difficult experience, 0:12:01.280 --> 0:12:04.600 they're already struggling and they're already suffering. And so you 0:12:04.600 --> 0:12:08.440 know that lens of self compassion is so important when 0:12:08.480 --> 0:12:11.400 you are feeling a sense of stress, right because it's 0:12:11.440 --> 0:12:13.959 like when you're feeling that deep sense of stress and 0:12:14.000 --> 0:12:16.960 you can't get out of that, it's really you against you, 0:12:17.280 --> 0:12:19.640 and you're often in your own way, and so when 0:12:19.679 --> 0:12:22.600 you use that lens of self compassion, it can really help. 0:12:22.679 --> 0:12:26.280 And so I would say, you know, it's so easy 0:12:26.360 --> 0:12:29.400 because of the stress response. Your inner critic is so loud, 0:12:29.440 --> 0:12:32.240 and she was probably thinking, it's probably my fault and 0:12:32.280 --> 0:12:34.600 everything that happened to me, and it's never your fault. 0:12:34.760 --> 0:12:37.599 It is so so not your fault. When something you know, 0:12:37.640 --> 0:12:40.240 when you get a funny condition, it's not because of stress, 0:12:40.559 --> 0:12:44.520 but stress once you have a particular condition, it's a 0:12:44.520 --> 0:12:46.720 good idea to manage your stress and keep it in check, 0:12:46.800 --> 0:12:49.160 even prior to a medical condition. It's a good idea 0:12:49.280 --> 0:12:52.760 only because it can worsen conditions. 0:12:52.400 --> 0:12:57.360 Right, Okay, I have a question which links to which 0:12:57.400 --> 0:13:03.040 links to athletes and field and the link between so, 0:13:03.120 --> 0:13:06.280 as an athlete, every day, particularly on match days of 0:13:07.040 --> 0:13:10.640 the high performance days, on match days, you're constantly dealing 0:13:10.720 --> 0:13:14.319 with stress of hormones. Court is all adrenaline every single 0:13:14.400 --> 0:13:17.720 day because of the pressors and stress of being an athlete, 0:13:17.720 --> 0:13:21.120 both emotionally and physically. Do you think there's a huge 0:13:21.160 --> 0:13:25.520 link between professional athletes. They learn how to try and 0:13:25.600 --> 0:13:29.200 manage the stress of hormones every single day of the life. 0:13:29.200 --> 0:13:32.000 So every day they're dealing with it, and there's a 0:13:32.040 --> 0:13:35.120 link between that becoming a habit of dealing with it. 0:13:35.200 --> 0:13:39.240 But then when they retire, they no longer have that 0:13:39.360 --> 0:13:42.120 adrenaline and court is all kicking in every day that 0:13:42.360 --> 0:13:44.880 there no longer having to manage it and there's a 0:13:44.880 --> 0:13:46.880 big void in a life now. So do you think 0:13:46.880 --> 0:13:51.080 there's a link between the mental health of athletes upon 0:13:51.200 --> 0:13:55.439 retirement to stress during their careers. 0:13:56.559 --> 0:13:59.800 I love that question because I think a lot about 0:14:00.240 --> 0:14:03.640 athletes because I practiced in Boston and it's a real 0:14:03.679 --> 0:14:07.640 sports town with lots of athletes that I've taken care 0:14:07.679 --> 0:14:12.199 of over the years. You know, what is fascinating about 0:14:12.400 --> 0:14:16.080 top tier athletes is that they live and breathe the 0:14:16.160 --> 0:14:20.480 mind body connection and mere mortals like we're living in 0:14:20.520 --> 0:14:24.320 our heads or neck up people and athletes really have 0:14:24.560 --> 0:14:27.120 tuned into their mind body connection and what the mind 0:14:27.160 --> 0:14:30.000 body connection is. It's really important for stress management. It's 0:14:30.000 --> 0:14:33.000 that your brain and your body aren't constant communication and 0:14:33.080 --> 0:14:35.400 inextricably linked. What's good for your body is good for 0:14:35.440 --> 0:14:38.240 your brain, and vice versa. When it comes to athletes 0:14:39.160 --> 0:14:42.880 and the stress response, there is an habituation process and 0:14:42.920 --> 0:14:46.760 what that means is when these athletes are put into 0:14:46.800 --> 0:14:49.920 situations that are high stress, because they are so tuned 0:14:49.960 --> 0:14:51.880 in and in sync with their brain and their body 0:14:51.880 --> 0:14:55.280 and that mind body connection, they are able their brain 0:14:56.280 --> 0:14:59.680 it responds accordingly. They are used to that high level. 0:14:59.680 --> 0:15:01.800 Of course is all an adrenaline and they're moving their 0:15:01.800 --> 0:15:04.360 body and they're connecting their mind and their body. You know, 0:15:04.440 --> 0:15:06.720 our brain is a muscle. So your brain is just 0:15:06.720 --> 0:15:09.720 like a bicep that when you train it in certain ways, 0:15:09.720 --> 0:15:11.920 it responds. It's not like the brain you had at 0:15:11.920 --> 0:15:13.640 birth is the brain you're going to have for life. 0:15:14.080 --> 0:15:17.080 And so your brain can learn new things and can 0:15:17.280 --> 0:15:20.600 grow and adapt in the face of life's challenges. Being 0:15:20.640 --> 0:15:23.280 an athlete, you have a physical challenge and a mental 0:15:23.400 --> 0:15:27.120 challenge on the field, and so your brain adapts to that. 0:15:27.400 --> 0:15:30.480 And so then when you retire as an athlete and 0:15:30.560 --> 0:15:33.400 you get off of the field, there is a habituation, 0:15:33.560 --> 0:15:36.880 like your brain is used to a certain level of stress, 0:15:36.920 --> 0:15:39.880 and it depends on the athlete. So I have known 0:15:39.880 --> 0:15:43.640 athletes who have retired and then they have something called 0:15:43.640 --> 0:15:46.200 the delayed stress reaction, which is what a lot of 0:15:46.280 --> 0:15:48.160 us have gone through over the past several years. We're 0:15:48.200 --> 0:15:51.000 not athletes. I mean I exercise, but I'm not an athlete. 0:15:51.120 --> 0:15:51.320 Right. 0:15:51.960 --> 0:15:54.240 It's basically that like you keep it together at all costs, 0:15:54.320 --> 0:15:56.560 and then the minute that acute stress is gone or 0:15:56.600 --> 0:15:59.640 that like stressful time is gone, you just fall apart. 0:15:59.760 --> 0:16:02.400 It's the dam breaks because your brain is built like 0:16:02.400 --> 0:16:05.600 a dam. You keep it together, and then immediately afterwards 0:16:06.040 --> 0:16:08.720 you feel psychologically safe and then you release, right, and 0:16:08.720 --> 0:16:10.960 it's like all of those pent up emotions come out. 0:16:11.160 --> 0:16:14.120 So that's one avenue, that's one path that could happen. 0:16:14.760 --> 0:16:18.200 Or you know, often what happens with elite athletes is 0:16:18.200 --> 0:16:21.800 that they channel that energy because it's very positive energy. 0:16:21.800 --> 0:16:24.200 It's healthy stress, right, that's gotten them to that level 0:16:24.560 --> 0:16:30.160 the mind body connection. They channel that energy to another area. 0:16:30.280 --> 0:16:32.840 So then they become entrepreneurs or they do all of 0:16:32.880 --> 0:16:35.640 these wonderful things and you see them really thrive in 0:16:35.680 --> 0:16:38.200 another area because it's skill building. They've built a whole 0:16:38.240 --> 0:16:41.480 sense of skills on the field, and then they can 0:16:41.600 --> 0:16:44.280 use them and transfer them off the field. But it 0:16:44.280 --> 0:16:46.400 takes time and practice. And you know, for those of 0:16:46.480 --> 0:16:49.640 us who are not elite athletes, we can do that too. 0:16:49.760 --> 0:16:52.400 You can tap into your mind body connection. You can 0:16:52.480 --> 0:16:56.600 learn to harness all the power of neuroplasticity to help 0:16:57.240 --> 0:17:00.280 decrease your stress. Because the mind body connection, you can 0:17:00.320 --> 0:17:02.200 pay attention to it and tap into it off the 0:17:02.200 --> 0:17:05.040 field as a regular person me or mortal. And the 0:17:05.119 --> 0:17:07.119 other thing about the mind body connection is that you 0:17:07.160 --> 0:17:09.800 can influence it to serve you, which is what athletes 0:17:09.840 --> 0:17:12.080 do all day every day, rather than harm you. 0:17:13.520 --> 0:17:13.840 Thank you. 0:17:14.080 --> 0:17:16.879 So you have your new book, The Five Resets rewire 0:17:16.920 --> 0:17:19.359 your brain and body for less stress and more resilience. 0:17:19.560 --> 0:17:22.240 What is one of the biggest things that you want 0:17:22.240 --> 0:17:24.159 people to take away from your book? Like? What is 0:17:24.520 --> 0:17:27.800 and what's the biggest Like if you could tell someone 0:17:27.960 --> 0:17:31.800 just one big takeaway, like hey, I this is going 0:17:31.880 --> 0:17:35.080 to help you with your daily stress, you know, to 0:17:35.160 --> 0:17:36.439 feel better, what would that be? 0:17:37.400 --> 0:17:40.400 I think the biggest takeaway is to use a lens 0:17:40.400 --> 0:17:43.280 of self compassion when you are thinking about your own 0:17:43.280 --> 0:17:46.320 stress and burnout, understanding that if you are feeling a 0:17:46.320 --> 0:17:48.960 sense of stress or burnout, you are not the exception, 0:17:49.040 --> 0:17:52.000 You're the rule. Data shows that seventy percent of people 0:17:52.720 --> 0:17:55.000 have at least one feature of stress and burnout. That's 0:17:55.000 --> 0:17:58.000 like in a room of thirty people. Twenty one people 0:17:58.080 --> 0:18:00.719 are struggling right now. So if you're struggling with your 0:18:00.720 --> 0:18:03.800 mental health right now, you are not alone, and it 0:18:04.000 --> 0:18:06.480 is not your fault. There are so many things. We've 0:18:06.480 --> 0:18:09.000 had an onslaught of things, one after the other over 0:18:09.000 --> 0:18:11.200 the past several years, and your brain and your body 0:18:11.200 --> 0:18:14.399 you're expertly designed to handle short bursts of stress. But 0:18:14.480 --> 0:18:18.199 what we've experienced has been chronic and ongoing. So your 0:18:18.240 --> 0:18:22.000 brain isn't broken. There's nothing wrong with you. All of 0:18:22.040 --> 0:18:25.240 these messages that you may have been told through you know, society, 0:18:25.320 --> 0:18:28.000 or yourself or your friends, if you are struggling with 0:18:28.040 --> 0:18:31.439 stress and burnout, you are having a normal, healthy reaction, 0:18:31.560 --> 0:18:34.440 in fact, to an abnormal situation that we are living in. 0:18:34.520 --> 0:18:37.239 So that's kind of the first thing to normalize and 0:18:37.480 --> 0:18:40.679 validate the difficult experience you're going through. And then the 0:18:40.720 --> 0:18:44.639 other big myth I want to debunk is this idea 0:18:44.680 --> 0:18:46.960 of resilience. Right like you hear that word resilience, and 0:18:46.960 --> 0:18:48.960 I don't know about you guys, but I bristle, like 0:18:49.000 --> 0:18:50.879 I cringe. It's such a cringe you word to me, 0:18:51.800 --> 0:18:55.880 because resilience back in twenty eighteen was a positive thing. 0:18:55.920 --> 0:18:59.320 It's like your innate biological ability to adapt, recover, and 0:18:59.400 --> 0:19:02.400 grow in the face of life's challenges, but now it's 0:19:02.440 --> 0:19:05.280 morphed into toxic resilience, which is why we hear that 0:19:05.320 --> 0:19:07.520 word and we're like, oh, don't tell me to be resilient. 0:19:07.640 --> 0:19:10.480 It's the last thing I want to do, because true 0:19:10.520 --> 0:19:15.119 resilience honors your boundaries, honors your human limitations, and really 0:19:15.200 --> 0:19:18.159 respects your need for rest and recovery, your brain and 0:19:18.200 --> 0:19:21.679 bodies need for rest and recovery. Toxic resilience, which is 0:19:21.680 --> 0:19:25.360 a manifestation of hustle culture, is productivity at all costs, 0:19:25.680 --> 0:19:29.480 a mind over matter mindset, and it's like the energizer 0:19:29.560 --> 0:19:32.439 bunny in the US, like just keep going, or in 0:19:32.480 --> 0:19:35.640 the UK, keep calm and carry on. It's this idea 0:19:35.960 --> 0:19:40.440 of a toxic, sinister version of resilience. And I think 0:19:40.480 --> 0:19:43.000 the biggest takeaway is that if you are feeling burned 0:19:43.040 --> 0:19:46.440 out or stressed, it is a myth to say that, oh, 0:19:46.560 --> 0:19:49.440 resilient people don't feel burnout and stress. That has been 0:19:49.920 --> 0:19:54.159 scientifically debunked. In fact, you can still be resilient and 0:19:54.200 --> 0:19:57.639 still experience stress and burnout. They are not mutually exclusive. 0:20:10.920 --> 0:20:13.560 When it comes to. So I'm always like, oh, I'm 0:20:13.600 --> 0:20:16.639 such a great multitasker and I thrive in, you know, 0:20:16.720 --> 0:20:19.439 having a million things at one time. But I'm reading 0:20:19.520 --> 0:20:22.959 how You're like, that's actually not a good thing to 0:20:23.080 --> 0:20:25.720 be like bragging about. So what do I do? 0:20:26.560 --> 0:20:29.840 So multitasking is a myth. I hate to break into you. 0:20:29.920 --> 0:20:34.720 I am a recovered multitasker, and there's no such thing. Scientifically, 0:20:34.840 --> 0:20:38.600 multitasking doesn't exist. When you are multitasking, what you are 0:20:38.600 --> 0:20:41.840 doing is task switching, meaning you are doing two separate 0:20:41.880 --> 0:20:44.600 tasks in rapid secession, and your brain is wired to 0:20:44.640 --> 0:20:48.840 do one thing at a time. Multitasking what it does 0:20:48.920 --> 0:20:51.120 is it weakens a certain part of your brain right 0:20:51.160 --> 0:20:54.439 here behind your forehead called the prefrontal cortex, and that 0:20:54.520 --> 0:20:59.840 area is really important for solving complex problems, memory, cognition, attention, 0:21:00.119 --> 0:21:05.760 and ironically, productivity. Multitasking or task switching, weakens all of 0:21:05.800 --> 0:21:11.080 these elements, particularly your productivity, and so instead of multitasking, 0:21:11.680 --> 0:21:15.399 it is important the antidote to multitasking is monotasking, that 0:21:15.440 --> 0:21:17.600 means doing one thing at a time. So when I 0:21:17.640 --> 0:21:20.199 suggest that, people laugh, like, come on, it's modern. You know, 0:21:20.240 --> 0:21:22.600 we got the slack channel and the emails and a 0:21:22.640 --> 0:21:26.000 million things competing for our attention. How can you monotask? 0:21:26.240 --> 0:21:29.080 You can practice something called time blocking. So let's say 0:21:29.080 --> 0:21:32.119 you guys have an hour to finish four tasks. Instead 0:21:32.160 --> 0:21:34.560 of doing all four tasks at the same time, do 0:21:34.680 --> 0:21:36.919 one task for ten or fifteen minutes and take a 0:21:37.280 --> 0:21:40.320 five ten minute break. Then start tests two and take 0:21:40.320 --> 0:21:42.320 a five or ten minute break, and by the end 0:21:42.359 --> 0:21:44.880 of that hour, you will have completed all four tasks. 0:21:45.320 --> 0:21:47.600 You have made headway on them, maybe not completed, but 0:21:47.640 --> 0:21:50.439 you will have made progress on all four tasks, and 0:21:50.480 --> 0:21:53.000 you have taken a break. And the reason those breaks 0:21:53.040 --> 0:21:56.159 are important for your brain is because the sigence shows 0:21:56.200 --> 0:21:58.800 that when we learn new information, and we're always learning right, 0:21:59.400 --> 0:22:03.400 when we learn new things, it's not actually the activity 0:22:03.800 --> 0:22:07.160 that is when the learning happens, it's during rest, and 0:22:07.240 --> 0:22:10.520 that period of rest is really important for another big 0:22:10.560 --> 0:22:15.000 concept called neural consolidation, another fancy word. It simply means that, 0:22:15.040 --> 0:22:19.200 like new information floating in your head, becomes cemented deep 0:22:19.280 --> 0:22:22.280 into knowledge. So it's the move is the movement from 0:22:22.359 --> 0:22:26.040 information to knowledge. So multitasking is in fact bad for 0:22:26.119 --> 0:22:28.680