1
00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:05,359
Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio Podcast.

2
00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:09,440
Speaker 2: This week's Thursday Therapy, we have doctor Adit, She's a

3
00:00:09,440 --> 00:00:13,880
Speaker 2: Harvard physician nationally recognized stress expert. We also have my

4
00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:18,160
Speaker 2: amazing fiance joining this Thursday Therapy episode. How would you

5
00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:24,959
Speaker 2: say you'd handle stress? You're thrown that question and welcome

6
00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:26,239
Speaker 2: to wind Down Baby.

7
00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:32,080
Speaker 1: How do I handle stress? I handle it deffinitely now

8
00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:38,440
Speaker 1: as I've got older. I think, first of all, you

9
00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:41,159
Speaker 1: can you become better to choose and what you stress

10
00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:44,040
Speaker 1: over and the volume of things that you can stress

11
00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:48,800
Speaker 1: over and what you can control. But I think taking

12
00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:52,279
Speaker 1: time to yourself and even like I know it's cliche

13
00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:56,520
Speaker 1: and it's overused, but meditation and breathing techniques really help

14
00:00:56,840 --> 00:01:01,120
Speaker 1: me in stressful situations. Like even in the moment of stress,

15
00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:04,360
Speaker 1: whether it's a trigger of something, just deep breaths within

16
00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:10,480
Speaker 1: that moment just help to calm me and control my emotions,

17
00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:12,640
Speaker 1: which then helps control the stress.

18
00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:15,640
Speaker 2: It's interesting that you mentioned the age thing, because that

19
00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:17,720
Speaker 2: was going to be one of my questions to her,

20
00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:20,840
Speaker 2: because I feel like a lot of people even they

21
00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:24,040
Speaker 2: say when you're an older parent, they you like, let's

22
00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:27,920
Speaker 2: say a parent has a child at a young age

23
00:01:27,959 --> 00:01:30,040
Speaker 2: and having an older age, Oh well you had a

24
00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:33,120
Speaker 2: like for example, I'll say, like my dad was way

25
00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:37,680
Speaker 2: less chill with my sisters as opposed to me. So

26
00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:41,800
Speaker 2: it's it's interesting when we can handle stress better with age.

27
00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:44,880
Speaker 2: And I'm curious actually why that is, because you would

28
00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:47,440
Speaker 2: think with age comes more stress.

29
00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:51,200
Speaker 1: I think you'll learn to prioritize what affects you, and

30
00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:55,480
Speaker 1: maturity tends to do that, Like there'll be far more

31
00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:59,080
Speaker 1: things will affect you, and now at the age of

32
00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:05,240
Speaker 1: forty excuse yourself. Excuse yourself, at the age of forty,

33
00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:07,559
Speaker 1: and there would have been in your twenties.

34
00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:13,240
Speaker 2: Yes, And there's also things that stress me out more

35
00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:16,960
Speaker 2: now in my forties and in my twenties, like I

36
00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:22,040
Speaker 2: have the weight of the world in forties, just you know,

37
00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:26,359
Speaker 2: support in children, and so that stress is so different

38
00:02:26,360 --> 00:02:30,920
Speaker 2: than when I didn't have that, you know, obviously that responsibility.

39
00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:33,560
Speaker 1: But that you now have the tools to manage it sure,

40
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:38,000
Speaker 1: Whereas if you had this responsibility, this amount of responsibility

41
00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:41,840
Speaker 1: in your early twenties, you probably wouldn't have had the

42
00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:44,960
Speaker 1: tools to manage it properly.

43
00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:47,920
Speaker 2: How do you think I handle stress?

44
00:02:49,639 --> 00:02:52,920
Speaker 1: I think you manage stress really well because you're I mean,

45
00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:56,959
Speaker 1: there's so many, so many variants of stress, but you're

46
00:02:57,040 --> 00:03:07,280
Speaker 1: so busy all the time, and you're constantly juggling everything podcasting, acting, marketing, stuff,

47
00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:11,959
Speaker 1: influencing and stuff, so your plate's always full. So therefore,

48
00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:14,959
Speaker 1: but I think you're really good on managing Okay, I'll

49
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:17,000
Speaker 1: allow this to affect me or I won't allow it

50
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:21,359
Speaker 1: to affect me, And like everyone, you have your moments,

51
00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:24,720
Speaker 1: but I think you handle and whether it's stress. I

52
00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:28,040
Speaker 1: think there's a difference between stress and pressure, A big difference.

53
00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:31,200
Speaker 1: Your pressure to get things done, your pressure to perform,

54
00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:33,440
Speaker 1: your pressure to look after the kids. I think that's

55
00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:34,720
Speaker 1: really different from stress.

56
00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:38,360
Speaker 2: Oh interesting, what do you tell me? What? Why?

57
00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:44,600
Speaker 1: Well, a pressure is mostly something that you put on yourself,

58
00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:47,000
Speaker 1: like your pressures in life will be mostly the ones

59
00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:48,040
Speaker 1: that you put on yourself.

60
00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:49,600
Speaker 2: But isn't that stress?

61
00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:53,080
Speaker 1: No, I mean, just about to speak to an expert

62
00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:55,120
Speaker 1: on it, but I think there's a really big difference

63
00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:58,800
Speaker 1: between pressure and stress. Pressure. You you can a lot

64
00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:01,800
Speaker 1: of people thrive on pressure, but a lot of people

65
00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:03,400
Speaker 1: will deem stresses onhealthy.

66
00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:06,760
Speaker 2: I guess I don't know them. What the difference is

67
00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:08,320
Speaker 2: because it feels like the same to me.

68
00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:14,160
Speaker 1: It's totally different. And the professional world like the difference

69
00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:16,720
Speaker 1: between pressure and stresses, Like I.

70
00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:18,720
Speaker 2: Get the pressure, like, Okay, I have to study all

71
00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:22,400
Speaker 2: these lines. That's pressure. But to me that's also stress,

72
00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:25,119
Speaker 2: Like I'm stressed to have to learn all these lines.

73
00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:27,880
Speaker 2: I'm pressured to learn all these lines. It feels like

74
00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:30,920
Speaker 2: to me, the same effect or the same weight.

75
00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:34,600
Speaker 1: I would say, I think there's a big difference.

76
00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:37,640
Speaker 2: So well, luckily we've got a stress expert that just

77
00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:40,719
Speaker 2: jumped down the zoom. Let's get her on, Doctor Adit.

78
00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:43,680
Speaker 2: I'm Janna. This is my fiance Alan.

79
00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:44,480
Speaker 1: Nice to meet you.

80
00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:47,000
Speaker 3: Hi, guys. I know all about you because I've been

81
00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:50,200
Speaker 3: binging it your podcast for the past few weeks, so

82
00:04:50,279 --> 00:04:52,599
Speaker 3: I am like, I'm a true fan.

83
00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:56,880
Speaker 2: It's very sweet, thank you, and I'm I'm excited to

84
00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:58,559
Speaker 2: talk to you because we were just having a little

85
00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:00,919
Speaker 2: bit of a conversation before you came on about stress,

86
00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:04,400
Speaker 2: and you know, he was saying how pressure is different

87
00:05:04,440 --> 00:05:07,039
Speaker 2: than stress, and I you know, I'm very happy to

88
00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:09,279
Speaker 2: have you on because when he was saying that, I'm like, man,

89
00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:13,080
Speaker 2: I get pressure and stress maybe being different, but it's

90
00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:15,839
Speaker 2: the same effect for me. So like if I feel

91
00:05:16,279 --> 00:05:17,960
Speaker 2: like I was an example I was using, was I

92
00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:20,200
Speaker 2: felt pressure to learn all my lines for the last

93
00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:22,400
Speaker 2: movie I was in, but it was also stressful the

94
00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:25,600
Speaker 2: same thing. So I guess what is your take on

95
00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:29,279
Speaker 2: that pressure versus stress? And then yeah, then let's just

96
00:05:29,279 --> 00:05:30,120
Speaker 2: dive into all of it.

97
00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:34,479
Speaker 3: That's a great place to start. So when you say

98
00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:39,159
Speaker 3: pressure versus stress, what you guys are really talking about

99
00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:42,640
Speaker 3: is that there are two kinds of stress and not

100
00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:45,200
Speaker 3: all stress is created equals. So when you say pressure,

101
00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:49,039
Speaker 3: you're talking about healthy, good stress. And then when you

102
00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:51,400
Speaker 3: say stress, like most of us when we throw that

103
00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:53,280
Speaker 3: word around, like I've had a stressful week or I've

104
00:05:53,279 --> 00:05:55,799
Speaker 3: had a stressful day, what we're talking about is unhealthy stress.

105
00:05:55,839 --> 00:05:58,200
Speaker 3: So there's two distinct types of stress, and they both

106
00:05:58,240 --> 00:06:00,159
Speaker 3: impact your brain and body in different ways. You know,

107
00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:05,560
Speaker 3: healthy positive stress. In scientific terms, it's known as adaptive stress.

108
00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:07,800
Speaker 3: We won't use too many scientific words. And then the

109
00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:12,839
Speaker 3: unhealthy stress is known as maladaptive stress. Everything that moves

110
00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:15,760
Speaker 3: your life forward was created because of a little bit

111
00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:18,640
Speaker 3: of healthy stress. So, like you said you were learning

112
00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:21,440
Speaker 3: lines for your movie, or you're rooty for your favorite

113
00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:24,560
Speaker 3: sports team, you make a new friend, get a new job,

114
00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:27,200
Speaker 3: or a promotion, or a new movie role, or I

115
00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:29,440
Speaker 3: don't know, buy a new car or a home, or

116
00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:33,560
Speaker 3: planning for your next vacation. All wonderful positive things in

117
00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:36,520
Speaker 3: your life, but they are stressful. Though they are a

118
00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:39,320
Speaker 3: healthy form of stress. They help move your life forward.

119
00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:42,000
Speaker 3: Unhealthy stress is things that we already know about when

120
00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:44,600
Speaker 3: we say, oh I'm so stressed, or it's a stressful week,

121
00:06:44,839 --> 00:06:49,159
Speaker 3: that's that unproductive, dysfunctional stress that really stops you in

122
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,680
Speaker 3: your tracks. The goal of life is not to live

123
00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:54,320
Speaker 3: a life without stress. That is a myth and it's

124
00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:57,960
Speaker 3: actually biologically impossible to do that. It's to live a

125
00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:02,320
Speaker 3: life with healthy, manageable stress. And what often happens is

126
00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:06,919
Speaker 3: when healthy stress gets out of hand, it can become unproductive.

127
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:09,920
Speaker 3: So it's about raining it in back to healthy levels

128
00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:12,360
Speaker 3: so that I can serve you rather than harm you.

129
00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:18,120
Speaker 1: Mm hm that makes sense, yeah, absolutely absolutely? And how

130
00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:21,960
Speaker 1: what are the key aspects for someone to know when

131
00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:26,800
Speaker 1: stress becomes unhealthy? If you talk about healthy stress and

132
00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:30,480
Speaker 1: unhealthy stress, what are the key the key points that

133
00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:35,080
Speaker 1: then recognizing that okay, this is now unhealthy and it's

134
00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:35,600
Speaker 1: halting me.

135
00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:39,720
Speaker 3: Yeah. So you know when you think about how stress

136
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:43,720
Speaker 3: or healthy stress influences your brain. When you're feeling a

137
00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:45,960
Speaker 3: sense of healthy stress, right, it is like a sense

138
00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:50,800
Speaker 3: of excitement or those healthy positive nerves. Excitement and fear

139
00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:53,480
Speaker 3: reside in the same part of our brain, which is

140
00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:55,800
Speaker 3: a good kind of reframe. When you're feeling like, oh,

141
00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:57,760
Speaker 3: there's this new thing coming up and I'm not really

142
00:07:57,760 --> 00:07:59,480
Speaker 3: sure if I can do it, and you want to

143
00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:02,760
Speaker 3: keep it in healthy bounds, you can think to yourself, oh,

144
00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:07,560
Speaker 3: it's excitement rather than a fear. That's one reframe. But stress,

145
00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:10,560
Speaker 3: the unhealthy kind of stress. There's like a million flavors.

146
00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:15,280
Speaker 3: So you can have body manifestations of unhealthy stress like

147
00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:19,440
Speaker 3: I don't know, headaches, neck pain, shoulder pain, back pain,

148
00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:23,800
Speaker 3: abdominal pain, feeling dizzy or nauseous, and then the mental

149
00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:28,760
Speaker 3: health manifestations of too much stress, too much unhealthy stress, anxiety, depressions,

150
00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:35,400
Speaker 3: sleep disturbances, dirtability, a quick sense of anger, emotional reactivity,

151
00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:38,280
Speaker 3: and in some cases feeling a sense of fatigue or

152
00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:42,520
Speaker 3: low energy. So it really depends. Every person is different,

153
00:08:42,679 --> 00:08:46,240
Speaker 3: and what seems like a stress event or a stress

154
00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:49,560
Speaker 3: symptom to me is really different for a stress symptom

155
00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:52,840
Speaker 3: for you for example, or even between you, there's probably

156
00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:55,800
Speaker 3: something that you do is really different than you know,

157
00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:58,720
Speaker 3: than your partner. So it really does depend. The key

158
00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:01,080
Speaker 3: is to know what your baseline. So when you're feeling

159
00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:03,400
Speaker 3: good and you know, if you're not feeling a lot

160
00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:06,240
Speaker 3: of stress, then how do you feel? And then it's

161
00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:09,040
Speaker 3: kind of like your tell. So I talk about this

162
00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:12,400
Speaker 3: idea of the canary in the coal mine, which is

163
00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:15,280
Speaker 3: a historical reference. I am so not into history. I'm

164
00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:18,960
Speaker 3: not a history buff, but I love this metaphor. Back

165
00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:21,680
Speaker 3: when there were coal miners in like World War two,

166
00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:23,360
Speaker 3: they would go into the mines and they would bring

167
00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:26,400
Speaker 3: a canary, a caged bird with them. The air would

168
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:29,760
Speaker 3: turn bad, but the coal miners were just toiling away

169
00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:32,880
Speaker 3: and working for you know, sixteen twenty hour days. When

170
00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:36,000
Speaker 3: the canary would stop singing, that's when they were like,

171
00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:37,760
Speaker 3: oh wait a second, the air is bad. We need

172
00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:40,560
Speaker 3: to leave the mines. And we as humans were like

173
00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:44,880
Speaker 3: historically really bad at knowing what our canary song is

174
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:48,240
Speaker 3: like when is it too much? And only when our

175
00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:51,400
Speaker 3: canary we all have one, when it starts belting a tune.

176
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:54,600
Speaker 3: That's when we pay attention, and that's like, really the

177
00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:57,360
Speaker 3: sign of unhealthy stress that's gotten way out of hand.

178
00:09:57,720 --> 00:10:00,760
Speaker 3: Everyone has its own everyone has their and canary song.

179
00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:16,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's interesting, that's really cool. I love that. I

180
00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:22,960
Speaker 2: have a friend who she went through years of infidelity.

181
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:25,280
Speaker 2: She ended up getting cancer. A lot of people said, well,

182
00:10:25,280 --> 00:10:27,600
Speaker 2: it's because the stress. You know, your body keeps a score.

183
00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:33,959
Speaker 2: Is there anything scientifically backing what stress like a stress

184
00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:39,560
Speaker 2: can cause cancer or anything that to that effect.

185
00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:42,680
Speaker 3: So I'm really sorry for your friend for having gone

186
00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:47,520
Speaker 3: through that. And you know, so many times with patients

187
00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:49,720
Speaker 3: that I've seen, they get a chronic illness and then

188
00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:52,720
Speaker 3: they're in my office and they're weeping saying it's because

189
00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:55,880
Speaker 3: of this that happened, or you know, like you blame yourself.

190
00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:59,920
Speaker 3: There's a lot of self blame and you often gaslight yourself,

191
00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:02,120
Speaker 3: right like thinking, oh, it's my fault and it's never

192
00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:04,920
Speaker 3: your fault. And if something happens, I would say, the

193
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:08,400
Speaker 3: science shows that it's not necessarily a cause. Like she

194
00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:09,960
Speaker 3: had a lot of stress in her life, that is

195
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:15,280
Speaker 3: not what caused her cancer, but stress contributes to chronic

196
00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:19,560
Speaker 3: medical conditions. So One startling statistic is that sixty to

197
00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:24,160
Speaker 3: eighty percent of all doctor's visits have a stress related component,

198
00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:27,640
Speaker 3: even though only three percent of doctor's visits have stress

199
00:11:27,679 --> 00:11:30,400
Speaker 3: management counseling. That's not to say that like sixty to

200
00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:33,600
Speaker 3: eighty percent of doctor's visits are caused by stress. But

201
00:11:33,679 --> 00:11:35,960
Speaker 3: let's say you have a history of migraines, which is

202
00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:38,920
Speaker 3: really common thing for people to have. Stress will make

203
00:11:38,920 --> 00:11:41,440
Speaker 3: your migraines worse, will make your flares worse, You'll have

204
00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:44,120
Speaker 3: more pain, more frequency of flares, or if you have

205
00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:47,960
Speaker 3: rheumatoid arthritis, that can happen, you know, if it does

206
00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:50,560
Speaker 3: have an impact on your chronic conditions. But it's not

207
00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:53,880
Speaker 3: to say that for your friends, particularly that years of

208
00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:57,559
Speaker 3: stress caused her cancer. I think it's really unfair because

209
00:11:57,559 --> 00:12:01,280
Speaker 3: it makes the person who is going through that difficult experience,

210
00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:04,600
Speaker 3: they're already struggling and they're already suffering. And so you

211
00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:08,440
Speaker 3: know that lens of self compassion is so important when

212
00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:11,400
Speaker 3: you are feeling a sense of stress, right because it's

213
00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:13,959
Speaker 3: like when you're feeling that deep sense of stress and

214
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,960
Speaker 3: you can't get out of that, it's really you against you,

215
00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:19,640
Speaker 3: and you're often in your own way, and so when

216
00:12:19,679 --> 00:12:22,600
Speaker 3: you use that lens of self compassion, it can really help.

217
00:12:22,679 --> 00:12:26,280
Speaker 3: And so I would say, you know, it's so easy

218
00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:29,400
Speaker 3: because of the stress response. Your inner critic is so loud,

219
00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:32,240
Speaker 3: and she was probably thinking, it's probably my fault and

220
00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:34,600
Speaker 3: everything that happened to me, and it's never your fault.

221
00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:37,599
Speaker 3: It is so so not your fault. When something you know,

222
00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:40,240
Speaker 3: when you get a funny condition, it's not because of stress,

223
00:12:40,559 --> 00:12:44,520
Speaker 3: but stress once you have a particular condition, it's a

224
00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:46,720
Speaker 3: good idea to manage your stress and keep it in check,

225
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:49,160
Speaker 3: even prior to a medical condition. It's a good idea

226
00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:52,760
Speaker 3: only because it can worsen conditions.

227
00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:57,360
Speaker 1: Right, Okay, I have a question which links to which

228
00:12:57,400 --> 00:13:03,040
Speaker 1: links to athletes and field and the link between so,

229
00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:06,280
Speaker 1: as an athlete, every day, particularly on match days of

230
00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:10,640
Speaker 1: the high performance days, on match days, you're constantly dealing

231
00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:14,319
Speaker 1: with stress of hormones. Court is all adrenaline every single

232
00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:17,720
Speaker 1: day because of the pressors and stress of being an athlete,

233
00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:21,120
Speaker 1: both emotionally and physically. Do you think there's a huge

234
00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:25,520
Speaker 1: link between professional athletes. They learn how to try and

235
00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:29,200
Speaker 1: manage the stress of hormones every single day of the life.

236
00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:32,000
Speaker 1: So every day they're dealing with it, and there's a

237
00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:35,120
Speaker 1: link between that becoming a habit of dealing with it.

238
00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:39,240
Speaker 1: But then when they retire, they no longer have that

239
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:42,120
Speaker 1: adrenaline and court is all kicking in every day that

240
00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:44,880
Speaker 1: there no longer having to manage it and there's a

241
00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:46,880
Speaker 1: big void in a life now. So do you think

242
00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:51,080
Speaker 1: there's a link between the mental health of athletes upon

243
00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:55,439
Speaker 1: retirement to stress during their careers.

244
00:13:56,559 --> 00:13:59,800
Speaker 3: I love that question because I think a lot about

245
00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:03,640
Speaker 3: athletes because I practiced in Boston and it's a real

246
00:14:03,679 --> 00:14:07,640
Speaker 3: sports town with lots of athletes that I've taken care

247
00:14:07,679 --> 00:14:12,199
Speaker 3: of over the years. You know, what is fascinating about

248
00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:16,080
Speaker 3: top tier athletes is that they live and breathe the

249
00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:20,480
Speaker 3: mind body connection and mere mortals like we're living in

250
00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:24,320
Speaker 3: our heads or neck up people and athletes really have

251
00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:27,120
Speaker 3: tuned into their mind body connection and what the mind

252
00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:30,000
Speaker 3: body connection is. It's really important for stress management. It's

253
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:33,000
Speaker 3: that your brain and your body aren't constant communication and

254
00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:35,400
Speaker 3: inextricably linked. What's good for your body is good for

255
00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:38,240
Speaker 3: your brain, and vice versa. When it comes to athletes

256
00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:42,880
Speaker 3: and the stress response, there is an habituation process and

257
00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:46,760
Speaker 3: what that means is when these athletes are put into

258
00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:49,920
Speaker 3: situations that are high stress, because they are so tuned

259
00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:51,880
Speaker 3: in and in sync with their brain and their body

260
00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:55,280
Speaker 3: and that mind body connection, they are able their brain

261
00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:59,680
Speaker 3: it responds accordingly. They are used to that high level.

262
00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:01,800
Speaker 3: Of course is all an adrenaline and they're moving their

263
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:04,360
Speaker 3: body and they're connecting their mind and their body. You know,

264
00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:06,720
Speaker 3: our brain is a muscle. So your brain is just

265
00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:09,720
Speaker 3: like a bicep that when you train it in certain ways,

266
00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:11,920
Speaker 3: it responds. It's not like the brain you had at

267
00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:13,640
Speaker 3: birth is the brain you're going to have for life.

268
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:17,080
Speaker 3: And so your brain can learn new things and can

269
00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:20,600
Speaker 3: grow and adapt in the face of life's challenges. Being

270
00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:23,280
Speaker 3: an athlete, you have a physical challenge and a mental

271
00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:27,120
Speaker 3: challenge on the field, and so your brain adapts to that.

272
00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:30,480
Speaker 3: And so then when you retire as an athlete and

273
00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:33,400
Speaker 3: you get off of the field, there is a habituation,

274
00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:36,880
Speaker 3: like your brain is used to a certain level of stress,

275
00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:39,880
Speaker 3: and it depends on the athlete. So I have known

276
00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:43,640
Speaker 3: athletes who have retired and then they have something called

277
00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:46,200
Speaker 3: the delayed stress reaction, which is what a lot of

278
00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:48,160
Speaker 3: us have gone through over the past several years. We're

279
00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:51,000
Speaker 3: not athletes. I mean I exercise, but I'm not an athlete.

280
00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:51,320
Speaker 2: Right.

281
00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:54,240
Speaker 3: It's basically that like you keep it together at all costs,

282
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,560
Speaker 3: and then the minute that acute stress is gone or

283
00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:59,640
Speaker 3: that like stressful time is gone, you just fall apart.

284
00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:02,400
Speaker 3: It's the dam breaks because your brain is built like

285
00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:05,600
Speaker 3: a dam. You keep it together, and then immediately afterwards

286
00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:08,720
Speaker 3: you feel psychologically safe and then you release, right, and

287
00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:10,960
Speaker 3: it's like all of those pent up emotions come out.

288
00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:14,120
Speaker 3: So that's one avenue, that's one path that could happen.

289
00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:18,200
Speaker 3: Or you know, often what happens with elite athletes is

290
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:21,800
Speaker 3: that they channel that energy because it's very positive energy.

291
00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:24,200
Speaker 3: It's healthy stress, right, that's gotten them to that level

292
00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:30,160
Speaker 3: the mind body connection. They channel that energy to another area.

293
00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:32,840
Speaker 3: So then they become entrepreneurs or they do all of

294
00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:35,640
Speaker 3: these wonderful things and you see them really thrive in

295
00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:38,200
Speaker 3: another area because it's skill building. They've built a whole

296
00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:41,480
Speaker 3: sense of skills on the field, and then they can

297
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:44,280
Speaker 3: use them and transfer them off the field. But it

298
00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:46,400
Speaker 3: takes time and practice. And you know, for those of

299
00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:49,640
Speaker 3: us who are not elite athletes, we can do that too.

300
00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:52,400
Speaker 3: You can tap into your mind body connection. You can

301
00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:56,600
Speaker 3: learn to harness all the power of neuroplasticity to help

302
00:16:57,240 --> 00:17:00,280
Speaker 3: decrease your stress. Because the mind body connection, you can

303
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:02,200
Speaker 3: pay attention to it and tap into it off the

304
00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:05,040
Speaker 3: field as a regular person me or mortal. And the

305
00:17:05,119 --> 00:17:07,119
Speaker 3: other thing about the mind body connection is that you

306
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:09,800
Speaker 3: can influence it to serve you, which is what athletes

307
00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:12,080
Speaker 3: do all day every day, rather than harm you.

308
00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:13,840
Speaker 1: Thank you.

309
00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:16,879
Speaker 2: So you have your new book, The Five Resets rewire

310
00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:19,359
Speaker 2: your brain and body for less stress and more resilience.

311
00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:22,240
Speaker 2: What is one of the biggest things that you want

312
00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:24,159
Speaker 2: people to take away from your book? Like? What is

313
00:17:24,520 --> 00:17:27,800
Speaker 2: and what's the biggest Like if you could tell someone

314
00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:31,800
Speaker 2: just one big takeaway, like hey, I this is going

315
00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:35,080
Speaker 2: to help you with your daily stress, you know, to

316
00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:36,439
Speaker 2: feel better, what would that be?

317
00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:40,400
Speaker 3: I think the biggest takeaway is to use a lens

318
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:43,280
Speaker 3: of self compassion when you are thinking about your own

319
00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:46,320
Speaker 3: stress and burnout, understanding that if you are feeling a

320
00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:48,960
Speaker 3: sense of stress or burnout, you are not the exception,

321
00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:52,000
Speaker 3: You're the rule. Data shows that seventy percent of people

322
00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:55,000
Speaker 3: have at least one feature of stress and burnout. That's

323
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:58,000
Speaker 3: like in a room of thirty people. Twenty one people

324
00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:00,719
Speaker 3: are struggling right now. So if you're struggling with your

325
00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:03,800
Speaker 3: mental health right now, you are not alone, and it

326
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,480
Speaker 3: is not your fault. There are so many things. We've

327
00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:09,000
Speaker 3: had an onslaught of things, one after the other over

328
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,200
Speaker 3: the past several years, and your brain and your body

329
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:14,399
Speaker 3: you're expertly designed to handle short bursts of stress. But

330
00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:18,199
Speaker 3: what we've experienced has been chronic and ongoing. So your

331
00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:22,000
Speaker 3: brain isn't broken. There's nothing wrong with you. All of

332
00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:25,240
Speaker 3: these messages that you may have been told through you know, society,

333
00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:28,000
Speaker 3: or yourself or your friends, if you are struggling with

334
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:31,439
Speaker 3: stress and burnout, you are having a normal, healthy reaction,

335
00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:34,440
Speaker 3: in fact, to an abnormal situation that we are living in.

336
00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:37,239
Speaker 3: So that's kind of the first thing to normalize and

337
00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:40,679
Speaker 3: validate the difficult experience you're going through. And then the

338
00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:44,639
Speaker 3: other big myth I want to debunk is this idea

339
00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:46,960
Speaker 3: of resilience. Right like you hear that word resilience, and

340
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,960
Speaker 3: I don't know about you guys, but I bristle, like

341
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:50,879
Speaker 3: I cringe. It's such a cringe you word to me,

342
00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:55,880
Speaker 3: because resilience back in twenty eighteen was a positive thing.

343
00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:59,320
Speaker 3: It's like your innate biological ability to adapt, recover, and

344
00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:02,400
Speaker 3: grow in the face of life's challenges, but now it's

345
00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:05,280
Speaker 3: morphed into toxic resilience, which is why we hear that

346
00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:07,520
Speaker 3: word and we're like, oh, don't tell me to be resilient.

347
00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:10,480
Speaker 3: It's the last thing I want to do, because true

348
00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:15,119
Speaker 3: resilience honors your boundaries, honors your human limitations, and really

349
00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:18,159
Speaker 3: respects your need for rest and recovery, your brain and

350
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:21,679
Speaker 3: bodies need for rest and recovery. Toxic resilience, which is

351
00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:25,360
Speaker 3: a manifestation of hustle culture, is productivity at all costs,

352
00:19:25,680 --> 00:19:29,480
Speaker 3: a mind over matter mindset, and it's like the energizer

353
00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:32,439
Speaker 3: bunny in the US, like just keep going, or in

354
00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:35,640
Speaker 3: the UK, keep calm and carry on. It's this idea

355
00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:40,440
Speaker 3: of a toxic, sinister version of resilience. And I think

356
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:43,000
Speaker 3: the biggest takeaway is that if you are feeling burned

357
00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:46,440
Speaker 3: out or stressed, it is a myth to say that, oh,

358
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:49,440
Speaker 3: resilient people don't feel burnout and stress. That has been

359
00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:54,159
Speaker 3: scientifically debunked. In fact, you can still be resilient and

360
00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:57,639
Speaker 3: still experience stress and burnout. They are not mutually exclusive.

361
00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:13,560
Speaker 2: When it comes to. So I'm always like, oh, I'm

362
00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:16,639
Speaker 2: such a great multitasker and I thrive in, you know,

363
00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:19,439
Speaker 2: having a million things at one time. But I'm reading

364
00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:22,959
Speaker 2: how You're like, that's actually not a good thing to

365
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:25,720
Speaker 2: be like bragging about. So what do I do?

366
00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:29,840
Speaker 3: So multitasking is a myth. I hate to break into you.

367
00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:34,720
Speaker 3: I am a recovered multitasker, and there's no such thing. Scientifically,

368
00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:38,600
Speaker 3: multitasking doesn't exist. When you are multitasking, what you are

369
00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:41,840
Speaker 3: doing is task switching, meaning you are doing two separate

370
00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:44,600
Speaker 3: tasks in rapid secession, and your brain is wired to

371
00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:48,840
Speaker 3: do one thing at a time. Multitasking what it does

372
00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:51,120
Speaker 3: is it weakens a certain part of your brain right

373
00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:54,439
Speaker 3: here behind your forehead called the prefrontal cortex, and that

374
00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:59,840
Speaker 3: area is really important for solving complex problems, memory, cognition, attention,

375
00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:05,760
Speaker 3: and ironically, productivity. Multitasking or task switching, weakens all of

376
00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:11,080
Speaker 3: these elements, particularly your productivity, and so instead of multitasking,

377
00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:15,399
Speaker 3: it is important the antidote to multitasking is monotasking, that

378
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:17,600
Speaker 3: means doing one thing at a time. So when I

379
00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:20,199
Speaker 3: suggest that, people laugh, like, come on, it's modern. You know,

380
00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:22,600
Speaker 3: we got the slack channel and the emails and a

381
00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:26,000
Speaker 3: million things competing for our attention. How can you monotask?

382
00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:29,080
Speaker 3: You can practice something called time blocking. So let's say

383
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:32,119
Speaker 3: you guys have an hour to finish four tasks. Instead

384
00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:34,560
Speaker 3: of doing all four tasks at the same time, do

385
00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:36,919
Speaker 3: one task for ten or fifteen minutes and take a

386
00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:40,320
Speaker 3: five ten minute break. Then start tests two and take

387
00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:42,320
Speaker 3: a five or ten minute break, and by the end

388
00:21:42,359 --> 00:21:44,880
Speaker 3: of that hour, you will have completed all four tasks.

389
00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:47,600
Speaker 3: You have made headway on them, maybe not completed, but

390
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:50,439
Speaker 3: you will have made progress on all four tasks, and

391
00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:53,000
Speaker 3: you have taken a break. And the reason those breaks

392
00:21:53,040 --> 00:21:56,159
Speaker 3: are important for your brain is because the sigence shows

393
00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:58,800
Speaker 3: that when we learn new information, and we're always learning right,

394
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:03,400
Speaker 3: when we learn new things, it's not actually the activity

395
00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:07,160
Speaker 3: that is when the learning happens, it's during rest, and

396
00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:10,520
Speaker 3: that period of rest is really important for another big

397
00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:15,000
Speaker 3: concept called neural consolidation, another fancy word. It simply means that,

398
00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:19,200
Speaker 3: like new information floating in your head, becomes cemented deep

399
00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:22,280
Speaker 3: into knowledge. So it's the move is the movement from

400
00:22:22,359 --> 00:22:26,040
Speaker 3: information to knowledge. So multitasking is in fact bad for

401
00:22:26,119 --> 00:22:28,680
Speaker 3: the brain. And even though one hundred percent of us

402
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:32,280
Speaker 3: think we are excellent musciligh taskers. The truth is only

403
00:22:32,359 --> 00:22:36,800
Speaker 3: two percent of human brains can effectively multitask. So instead

404
00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:44,600
Speaker 3: of multitasking, I love it, I love it, try to monotask.

405
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:45,520
Speaker 3: That's the antidote.

406
00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:52,520
Speaker 1: Okay, I've got one question, one last question. So for

407
00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:56,240
Speaker 1: someone like yourself who's taken a deep dive into your

408
00:22:56,280 --> 00:23:00,200
Speaker 1: field and are incredibly knowledgeable, I think it's a real

409
00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:03,000
Speaker 1: art for someone like I specialize in a certain field,

410
00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:05,560
Speaker 1: I think it's a real art for someone to simplify

411
00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:09,359
Speaker 1: the knowledge. So what you've done is you've taken all

412
00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:12,879
Speaker 1: these thousands and thousands of hours of speaking to people

413
00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:16,800
Speaker 1: and tracing people, and you've put it into five steps.

414
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:20,640
Speaker 1: Did you find that difficult to take all best knowledge

415
00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:24,600
Speaker 1: and compact it into just five simple steps? Was that

416
00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:26,919
Speaker 1: difficult for you or was it an easy process?

417
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:31,360
Speaker 3: That is a beautiful question and probably the highest compliment

418
00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:33,840
Speaker 3: I can receive. So thank you for saying that. That

419
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:36,399
Speaker 3: is always what I strive for. In fact, when I

420
00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:38,760
Speaker 3: give my talks or even in this book, when people

421
00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:41,760
Speaker 3: say like you've just made it so simple for me.

422
00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:45,359
Speaker 3: You know, we all have lots of gifts, and we

423
00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:48,880
Speaker 3: all have many flaws, right, Like we're human beings. We're flawed,

424
00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:51,960
Speaker 3: imperfectly perfect. But one of the things that I have

425
00:23:52,119 --> 00:23:56,200
Speaker 3: always enjoyed doing because I like communication, is taking complex

426
00:23:56,240 --> 00:24:00,600
Speaker 3: information and making it simple. We're easy to digest understand.

427
00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:02,840
Speaker 3: It took me twenty five years to write this book,

428
00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:05,879
Speaker 3: so of course it wasn't overnight. But I think when

429
00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:08,720
Speaker 3: you talk to people when you're a doctor, and I

430
00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:12,840
Speaker 3: always prided myself on not using doctor language as a doctor,

431
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:15,720
Speaker 3: because I used to hate that. It's called affected speech.

432
00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:18,000
Speaker 3: You know, when people who are doctors speak and they

433
00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:20,960
Speaker 3: like sound like aliens because they're not talking like regular

434
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:25,520
Speaker 3: everyday people. I loved my doctors or my teachers when

435
00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:27,080
Speaker 3: I was in medical school who just talked to me

436
00:24:27,119 --> 00:24:29,480
Speaker 3: like a regular person, and they spoke like regular people.

437
00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:32,040
Speaker 3: I think it's so much more effective in terms of

438
00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:35,280
Speaker 3: communication when you lead with authenticity and vulnerability. And so

439
00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:38,520
Speaker 3: it took me twenty five years to get to this

440
00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:41,000
Speaker 3: place of wanting to write the book. For ten years

441
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:42,960
Speaker 3: people have been asking me to write like patients and

442
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:45,520
Speaker 3: other people and media people, and I was like, no,

443
00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:49,159
Speaker 3: it's not the right time. It was a process, so

444
00:24:49,359 --> 00:24:53,240
Speaker 3: now it's a skill like anything else. I think simplifying

445
00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:57,480
Speaker 3: complex information seems really hard in the beginning, but like

446
00:24:57,680 --> 00:24:59,439
Speaker 3: if you just keep doing it over and over and

447
00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:02,719
Speaker 3: over anything, right, like sports, there's things that you do

448
00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:06,320
Speaker 3: that I could never do in sports, but it just

449
00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:08,560
Speaker 3: is a skill and I just continued to build it.

450
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:11,960
Speaker 3: But it is truly something I love doing. Like the

451
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:14,760
Speaker 3: more complicated the better because then I can distill it

452
00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:18,639
Speaker 3: down into manageable, bite sized chunks for all of us

453
00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:22,120
Speaker 3: to digest. Because ultimately, it's like if something feels really

454
00:25:22,119 --> 00:25:25,000
Speaker 3: far away or aspirational, that's the thing with stress. It's

455
00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:28,080
Speaker 3: like often you get these messages about stress and burnout

456
00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:30,320
Speaker 3: and they're so like out there, like go to Bali

457
00:25:30,359 --> 00:25:32,399
Speaker 3: for six months and learn how to surf. Yes, I

458
00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:34,200
Speaker 3: would love it, sign me up for that life plan,

459
00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:35,480
Speaker 3: But that's not real life.

460
00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:35,679
Speaker 1: You know.

461
00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:40,919
Speaker 3: We have financial obligations and parenting obligations and responsibilities and

462
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:43,679
Speaker 3: all these roles that we fulfill. And so it's about

463
00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:46,720
Speaker 3: finding ways to build in stress relief and burn out

464
00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:49,840
Speaker 3: recovery and reset some of these things in our brains

465
00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:51,919
Speaker 3: and our bodies in the here and now, in the

466
00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:54,520
Speaker 3: messy middle. And so that is what I've aspired to

467
00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:57,800
Speaker 3: do making it as simple as possible and of course

468
00:25:57,840 --> 00:25:58,480
Speaker 3: science based.

469
00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:03,280
Speaker 2: Sure, yeah, I love that you with all of your

470
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:07,560
Speaker 2: studies and interviewing people. What does the biggest mistake people

471
00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:10,800
Speaker 2: make when it comes to stress? Like, what is the

472
00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:13,360
Speaker 2: one thing that's like, oh, that is that's the constant

473
00:26:13,359 --> 00:26:16,720
Speaker 2: thing that you see with people doing you know, wrong with.

474
00:26:17,359 --> 00:26:20,040
Speaker 3: Doing too many things all at once. So everything but

475
00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:22,520
Speaker 3: the kitchen sink, right, So, like it takes a while

476
00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:24,760
Speaker 3: to get that awareness of wait a second, I think

477
00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:27,560
Speaker 3: get stressed or do I have burnout? And then you

478
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:29,960
Speaker 3: have that like light bulb moment of yes I have

479
00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:32,679
Speaker 3: burnout or yes I have stress, and then you do

480
00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:34,920
Speaker 3: everything with the kitchen sake. And I've had so many

481
00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:37,879
Speaker 3: patients come in with binders like okay, doc, here's what

482
00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:40,439
Speaker 3: I did, and like, you know, and same thing with

483
00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:44,200
Speaker 3: NER's resolutions. People take on twenty things and then by

484
00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:47,359
Speaker 3: like week two or three, you're down to one, probably zero,

485
00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:53,520
Speaker 3: because the human brain cannot sustain huge lifestyle overhauls during

486
00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:56,679
Speaker 3: periods of stress, and even positive change, like making a

487
00:26:56,680 --> 00:27:00,560
Speaker 3: positive change in your life is a stress on your brain,

488
00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:05,200
Speaker 3: so even positive things, So instead aim for two small

489
00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:07,680
Speaker 3: changes at a time. If you want those changes to stick,

490
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:10,600
Speaker 3: work with your biology rather than against it. It takes

491
00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:13,439
Speaker 3: eight weeks to create a habit, and part of habit

492
00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:16,680
Speaker 3: formation is actually falling off the wagon and getting back up.

493
00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:18,800
Speaker 3: So like in week two and three, if you're like, oh,

494
00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:21,040
Speaker 3: I'm not going to do that, like there's no way

495
00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:23,560
Speaker 3: you follow that. You know, for three days, you don't

496
00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:25,360
Speaker 3: do it. Four days and you're like, you know what,

497
00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:27,879
Speaker 3: maybe I'll start again. You're not a failure. It's just

498
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:30,200
Speaker 3: part of the learning process and part of your brain

499
00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:33,159
Speaker 3: circuitry actually wiring in a new and different way. That's

500
00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:37,040
Speaker 3: called neuroplasticity, right, And so that is probably the biggest

501
00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:40,359
Speaker 3: mistake doing too much all at once. Nothing sticks. So

502
00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:43,280
Speaker 3: follow the rule of two. It's called the resilience rule

503
00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:45,400
Speaker 3: of two. It's how your brain responds to change. It's

504
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:48,080
Speaker 3: why during the pandemic, like you may have had huge,

505
00:27:48,119 --> 00:27:50,320
Speaker 3: lofty goals to do all of these things, and now

506
00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:52,000
Speaker 3: it's a wonder if you shower once a day. It

507
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:54,880
Speaker 3: needs some vegetables because you can't sustain huge lifestyle aperhols

508
00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:57,760
Speaker 3: during periods of stress. Two small changes at a time

509
00:27:58,240 --> 00:28:01,320
Speaker 3: eight weeks let them fold into your life, and then

510
00:28:01,320 --> 00:28:03,239
Speaker 3: you can add two more and so by the end

511
00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:06,040
Speaker 3: of the year you will have perfected. You know, there's

512
00:28:06,080 --> 00:28:09,359
Speaker 3: fifteen strategies in the five resets, five main principles and

513
00:28:09,359 --> 00:28:11,280
Speaker 3: fifteen strategies, and by the end of the year you

514
00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:13,919
Speaker 3: will have brought in all of those strategies, but not

515
00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:15,959
Speaker 3: all at once because your brain and body can't handle it.

516
00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:20,600
Speaker 2: In one of the resets, a second reset, it's find

517
00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:23,840
Speaker 2: Quiet in a Noisy World? Are then, are you a

518
00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:27,240
Speaker 2: fan of Does that mean meditation or what is your

519
00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:28,640
Speaker 2: best tool for that?

520
00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:34,120
Speaker 3: I personally have meditated for a long, long time, several decades.

521
00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:36,800
Speaker 3: It's not for everyone, and it's certainly not something I

522
00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:40,240
Speaker 3: recommend in that particular reset Find your Quiet in a

523
00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:44,800
Speaker 3: Noisy World. It is all about digital boundaries and sleep.

524
00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:48,920
Speaker 3: Those are the two biggest buckets of finding your quiet.

525
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:51,800
Speaker 3: And what are digital boundaries? We have boundaries in every

526
00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:56,960
Speaker 3: other relationship in our life, right like our partners, colleagues, friends, children,

527
00:28:57,160 --> 00:29:00,440
Speaker 3: and yet we have no boundaries or as boundaries when

528
00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:04,200
Speaker 3: it comes to our relationships with our digital devices, and

529
00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:07,320
Speaker 3: the science shows that creating a sense of a boundary.

530
00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:10,400
Speaker 3: This is not about becoming a digital monk because the

531
00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:13,280
Speaker 3: science also shows that our health and well being is

532
00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:17,040
Speaker 3: actually improved by decreasing our reliance on devices rather than

533
00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:19,640
Speaker 3: giving them up entirely. That doesn't seem to have as

534
00:29:19,680 --> 00:29:22,920
Speaker 3: much benefit. But it's about creating some boundaries. And why

535
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:25,440
Speaker 3: do you want to create boundaries? So there's some geographical

536
00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:28,480
Speaker 3: boundaries you could create, and some logistical boundaries you could create.

537
00:29:28,760 --> 00:29:30,320
Speaker 3: Think about what you do first thing in the morning,

538
00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:33,200
Speaker 3: before your second eye is even open. Most of us,

539
00:29:33,240 --> 00:29:35,520
Speaker 3: like me and all of us, over fifty percent of

540
00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:39,800
Speaker 3: people scroll subtle device. Right, you're checking your phone first

541
00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:42,080
Speaker 3: thing in the morning and before your second eye is

542
00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:44,320
Speaker 3: even open. Think about what that's doing to your brain.

543
00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:47,400
Speaker 3: These are not benign entities. You are scrolling the headlines,

544
00:29:47,800 --> 00:29:51,400
Speaker 3: social media, your work email, all of these things. You've

545
00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:52,800
Speaker 3: just had a good night's sleep, or if you have

546
00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:55,200
Speaker 3: a lot of stress, you've had a fragmented or disruptive

547
00:29:55,320 --> 00:29:57,640
Speaker 3: sense of sleep. Your brain and your body are fresh,

548
00:29:57,720 --> 00:30:01,000
Speaker 3: you're awake, and you're scrolling, and that is activating the

549
00:30:01,040 --> 00:30:04,520
Speaker 3: stress response in your brain. And instead, create a digital boundary.

550
00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:07,200
Speaker 3: Keep your phone off your nightstand, invest in a low

551
00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:11,000
Speaker 3: cost alarm clock instead. This is not about being a

552
00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:13,719
Speaker 3: digital monkt abstinence. You can check your phone, but you know,

553
00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:16,360
Speaker 3: wake up. Take in the light of day, look at

554
00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:19,040
Speaker 3: your bed partner, if you have one, brush your teeth,

555
00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:21,400
Speaker 3: and then check your phone, so creating a little buffer.

556
00:30:21,680 --> 00:30:23,720
Speaker 3: And then at night, same thing. When it's off your nightstand.

557
00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:25,360
Speaker 3: You're not scrolling in the middle of the night. During

558
00:30:25,360 --> 00:30:28,200
Speaker 3: the day, keep it off, out of arms reach and

559
00:30:28,320 --> 00:30:30,240
Speaker 3: out of sight. And the reason you want to do

560
00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:32,640
Speaker 3: that is because when you are feeling a sense of

561
00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:37,200
Speaker 3: stress or burnout, you have a primal urge to scroll.

562
00:30:37,360 --> 00:30:39,440
Speaker 3: We've all been there when you're feeling a sense of stress,

563
00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:42,000
Speaker 3: like you're like this, you're scrolling and scrolling. You don't

564
00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:44,880
Speaker 3: know why. It doesn't feel good, but you can't stop.

565
00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:48,000
Speaker 3: The reason you can't stop is because it's a biological

566
00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:52,120
Speaker 3: wiring of our brain. You know. Evolutionarily, when we all

567
00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:55,040
Speaker 3: lived as strive as people, when we were all cave people,

568
00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:58,480
Speaker 3: there was a night watchman who kept watch on the

569
00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:01,720
Speaker 3: tribe while everyone slept right and now we have all

570
00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:04,600
Speaker 3: become our own night watchmen. And when you are feeling

571
00:31:04,600 --> 00:31:07,080
Speaker 3: a sense of stress, you're a migdala, which is a

572
00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:10,080
Speaker 3: small almond shape structure deep in the brain is what's

573
00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:13,000
Speaker 3: creating that fight or flight response and the stress response,

574
00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:17,040
Speaker 3: that sense of hypervigilance. Your middala is focused on survival

575
00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:21,800
Speaker 3: and self preservation, immediate needs, immediate sense of safety, and

576
00:31:22,240 --> 00:31:25,520
Speaker 3: a sense of danger. And so you scroll because it's

577
00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:28,800
Speaker 3: a way to keep yourself safe. You're scanning for danger.

578
00:31:29,160 --> 00:31:31,400
Speaker 3: You're scrolling, You're seeing what's in the news, what's in

579
00:31:31,440 --> 00:31:34,800
Speaker 3: the headlines, what's on social media. And so how can

580
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:37,560
Speaker 3: when you're amygdalas on and you're feeling a sense of stress,

581
00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:40,560
Speaker 3: how can you shut that off by creating digital boundaries,

582
00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:42,840
Speaker 3: by letting the other part of your brain what we

583
00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:47,000
Speaker 3: talked about earlier, that prefrontal cortex take over again. And

584
00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:49,840
Speaker 3: so it's a scientific principle, but it doesn't have to

585
00:31:49,840 --> 00:31:52,080
Speaker 3: feel scientific. You just take your phone and keep it

586
00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:54,520
Speaker 3: out of arms reach, keep it off your nightstand. So

587
00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:57,440
Speaker 3: creating those boundaries can really do wonders for your sleep,

588
00:31:57,720 --> 00:32:01,400
Speaker 3: your energy, your mental bandwidth. It also decreases something called

589
00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:05,240
Speaker 3: popcorn brain, which is a phenomenon that many of us have.

590
00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:08,959
Speaker 3: Most of us have. It's not internet addiction. Internet addiction

591
00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:11,520
Speaker 3: is when you are consuming and you're online, and it's

592
00:32:11,520 --> 00:32:14,760
Speaker 3: affecting your relationships, for your work and other things. That's

593
00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:16,960
Speaker 3: not most of us. Most of us have popcorn brain,

594
00:32:17,240 --> 00:32:20,680
Speaker 3: which is a real biological phenomenon where you are spending

595
00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:23,720
Speaker 3: so much time online that your brain circuitry starts. You

596
00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:27,040
Speaker 3: have that sensation of popping. It's not truly popping, but

597
00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:30,280
Speaker 3: it's that sensation. It's hard to live offline because you

598
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:34,320
Speaker 3: are just like always, you know, hyper stimulated, over stimulated.

599
00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:37,520
Speaker 3: So it decreases that sense of popcorn brain, which in

600
00:32:37,600 --> 00:32:40,719
Speaker 3: turn decreases your stress. So it's like this loop and

601
00:32:40,760 --> 00:32:43,160
Speaker 3: you have to break that cycle. And the circuit breaker

602
00:32:43,280 --> 00:32:44,280
Speaker 3: is a digital boundary.

603
00:32:45,400 --> 00:32:48,800
Speaker 2: I love that boundary. Up. We have boundaries like no, no,

604
00:32:49,400 --> 00:32:51,920
Speaker 2: the phone's the dinner table, the bits, right, that's a

605
00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:53,920
Speaker 2: big one, the big boundary. And the kids. I love

606
00:32:53,960 --> 00:32:56,800
Speaker 2: that because for some reason, no, you remember, they like

607
00:32:56,880 --> 00:32:58,320
Speaker 2: hid your phone the other day.

608
00:32:59,080 --> 00:32:59,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, they love it.

609
00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:02,600
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's like they get to like have that,

610
00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:05,640
Speaker 2: which is which is cute. But thank you so much

611
00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:08,200
Speaker 2: for coming on. Everyone, go get the five resets, rewire

612
00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:10,600
Speaker 2: your brain and body for less stress and more resilience.

613
00:33:10,640 --> 00:33:12,840
Speaker 2: We appreciate you, thank you, thank you.

614
00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:15,200
Speaker 3: It was such a fuss, so sweet guys. Thank you

615
00:33:15,280 --> 00:33:16,440
Speaker 3: so much. Guys.

616
00:33:16,080 --> 00:33:17,480
Speaker 1: Bye,