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Speaker 1: all shows running December thirtieth through January third, and March

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Speaker 1: sixth through the twenty eighth. What is it that your

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Speaker 1: because my sister's having a hard time with this, I

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Speaker 1: think and has four years and Paulina had mentioned it too,

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Speaker 1: But grandparents being grandparents, parents being parents to your kids,

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Speaker 1: so they raised you right, and then you have kids

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Speaker 1: and then you say, you know, nana and whatever, people

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Speaker 1: come over here and watch my kids and or go

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Speaker 1: go over to their house and then for some reason,

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Speaker 1: even though we were spoiled by our grandparents, and our

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Speaker 1: grandparents were the ones that brought us the stuff that

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Speaker 1: you know, our parents wouldn't buy us, or let us

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Speaker 1: stay up later, or do the stuff that our parents

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Speaker 1: wouldn't let us do, or feed us the food that

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Speaker 1: our parents wouldn't let us. See, that's what grandparents do, right,

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Speaker 1: except now that it's happening to us, we don't like it. Like,

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Speaker 1: my mom can't. My sister is like so control focused,

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Speaker 1: big surprise. I wonder where she got that. They're like

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Speaker 1: she's I was almost afraid to leave my mom with

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Speaker 1: these kids because it's like the mom's gonna be mem

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Speaker 1: She's gonna be Mimi is what they call her, and

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Speaker 1: do this stuff. And you're saying, now, your mom is

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Speaker 1: doing this and you're annoyed by it, Paulina, You're annoyed

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Speaker 1: that your mom is doing it her own way, even

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Speaker 1: though that's what your grandparents would have done for you

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Speaker 1: if they weren't in Poland.

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Speaker 2: Yes, so, Mom, if you're listening, I'm just playing, please

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Speaker 2: come watch my kids.

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Speaker 3: By It's because a lot, and I've talked.

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Speaker 2: To her about it a little bit a little bit

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Speaker 2: because Martella, you have to like kind of ease your

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Speaker 2: way in to be.

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Speaker 3: Able to get this information out to her.

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Speaker 2: But she is Bopcha, right, So she's she's grandma to Gigi,

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Speaker 2: and we are just on two different pages to the

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Speaker 2: point where I'm like, do we need to limit our

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Speaker 2: time together? Like do we need to have a bigger conversation,

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Speaker 2: because I feel like when Gidi's with Bobcha, with her grandmother,

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Speaker 2: I feel like she is like wild child, like she

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Speaker 2: does whatever she wants and this and that, and I'm

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Speaker 2: trying to discipline her of we clean up, we don't

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Speaker 2: throw stuff, and my mom just laughs and it's so

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Speaker 2: funny and you know, she can never do wrong, and oh,

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Speaker 2: we don't do that, and it's all giggles, and I'm like,

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Speaker 2: but we're not teaching her structure. And now she's like,

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Speaker 2: in my opinion, she's on two different timelines. Here with me,

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Speaker 2: she knows we do this, but with Grandma it's like

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Speaker 2: a whole different baby.

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Speaker 3: So I'm like, we gotta be one here, we gotta

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Speaker 3: be a teen.

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Speaker 1: But is she is she carrying this stuff over from

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Speaker 1: from Bobcha to like your life or does she mean

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Speaker 1: you just said, like, is she ever? Is she able

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Speaker 1: to separate the fact that she can act up and

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Speaker 1: and be crazy with her grandmother but not with you.

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Speaker 2: I think once Grandma leaves or I pick her up,

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Speaker 2: it takes about an hour or two for her to

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Speaker 2: get back into the gig that I'm raising, like the

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Speaker 2: gigi that I know, you know what I mean, chicks

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Speaker 2: to get out of this mode or something which she does.

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Speaker 2: Like I'm proud of my baby. She knows, you know,

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Speaker 2: Bapcha's rules and then Mom's rules. But I'm also like,

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Speaker 2: are we teaching her two different sides? Like I want

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Speaker 2: her to be the same gigi, you know what I mean,

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Speaker 2: that's all be on the same page. And don't even

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Speaker 2: get me started with the sugar and the and the

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Speaker 2: feeding her.

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Speaker 3: I am not strict.

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Speaker 2: Okay, she can have a cookie, she can have bread whatever.

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Speaker 2: My mom will sit there and like feed her sugar

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Speaker 2: like like in her mouth, and I'm like, Mom, we

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Speaker 2: said we're not trying to give her sugar if we

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Speaker 2: don't have to. Okay, a birthday cake. We're going to

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Speaker 2: a birthday party. She can have a piece of cake

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Speaker 2: right a bite, But my mom will go pick up

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Speaker 2: a cake and bring it home to her, like, we

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Speaker 2: don't need to be feeding her sugar on purpose.

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Speaker 1: So she's not at well, she can't really ask for it.

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Speaker 1: She's not old enough yet. This is just your mom

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Speaker 1: freestyling this, yes, because she thinks she'll like it.

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Speaker 3: She thinks she'll like it.

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Speaker 2: And Gigi was caught also coloring on her walls at

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Speaker 2: the house, like there was some uh crayons on Bobcha's

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Speaker 2: walls when I did that?

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Speaker 4: Can I just say that I hadn't seen the day

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Speaker 4: the light of day for weeks, But when Gigi does it,

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Speaker 4: it's so cute and it's adorable and everything's okay, everyone's great.

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Speaker 1: So how do you moderate that as a parent? Eight

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Speaker 1: five five five nine one one of three five So

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Speaker 1: I get ahold of us? You can call it text

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Speaker 1: the same number because I mean, you're not going to

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Speaker 1: block access to your your parents, I guess for your

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Speaker 1: for your kids, right, their grandkids and grandparents are going

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Speaker 1: to be grandparents because that's what they're supposed to do,

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Speaker 1: and grandparents are also probably don't want to get involved.

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Speaker 1: They think they wanted to be a happy, fun place.

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Speaker 1: They don't want to be disciplining and yelling at your

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Speaker 1: kids and telling them whatever. But at the same time,

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Speaker 1: you don't want your kid to learn to color on

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Speaker 1: the wall at you know, Bobja's house and then go

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Speaker 1: back to your house. And because maybe they're too young

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Speaker 1: to understand the difference between So maybe sugar fine, like

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Speaker 1: you just don't feed it to her. But then behaviorally,

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Speaker 1: you know, there's stuff that you probably are trying to

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Speaker 1: instill in her not to do that. If she goes

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Speaker 1: over there and does it, then you have a problem. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's going to be on the same page. You know.

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Speaker 2: I feel like we're teaching her two different things that

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Speaker 2: I'm not a strict parent, you know, I'm typedeb mom

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Speaker 2: to the court Like in my house it is a

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Speaker 2: fun place.

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Speaker 3: Okay, I'm not prison, but I'm.

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Speaker 1: Also like nice. Yeah, I love that.

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Speaker 2: I'm also just trying to be on the same page

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Speaker 2: as all the grandma's you know.

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Speaker 1: And how how are you supposed to tell your parents

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Speaker 1: don't do it your way?

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Speaker 3: It doesn't work.

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Speaker 1: You can't do that, then they won't listen if you did. So, Hey, Susie, Hello,

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Speaker 1: Hi Susie, good morning. So there's your mom sort of

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Speaker 1: straightened you out on this.

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Speaker 2: She did, because what happens at grandma stays at grandma's

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Speaker 2: and she told me off.

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Speaker 3: And that's how it was. I feel that.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So what were your complaints, like, what were what

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Speaker 1: were the issues? Like? Your kid would come home and

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Speaker 1: hear she.

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Speaker 5: Was doing what it's oh say, she was in his

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Speaker 5: pajamas all day. They didn't get dressed, they ate what

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Speaker 5: they wanted.

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Speaker 3: Uh, nap time went.

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Speaker 2: Kind of out the window.

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Speaker 3: I mean, the disrupted their whole day. And that's what

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Speaker 3: grandmas are supposed.

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Speaker 1: To do, yeah, because it's like it's every day, right.

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Speaker 1: So then they come back to your house and yeah,

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Speaker 1: there's a little bit of adjustment, but they look forward

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Speaker 1: to going to grandma's house, which is what they're That's

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Speaker 1: what the grandparents are trying to do, right, They're trying

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Speaker 1: to make their place seem like the place that you

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Speaker 1: want to be and hangout.

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Speaker 5: Right.

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Speaker 1: So that's the point.

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Speaker 5: Was part of that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's the point, all right.

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Speaker 1: So your mom straining you out, she just said, hey, hey, look, Susie,

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Speaker 1: I don't want to hear it exactly. Yeah, don't hear that.

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Speaker 1: I think thank you have a good day too. I mean,

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Speaker 1: it's it's grandparent. I mean, but the thing is, like,

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Speaker 1: this is what your grandparents did for you, So then

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Speaker 1: why is it that now, all of a sudden, your

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Speaker 1: kid can't have it because it's inconvenient to you.

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Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, okay, I'm so grateful that my mom

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Speaker 2: is able to do this for Gigi, and that she lives,

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Speaker 2: you know, five minutes from me, and that we can

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Speaker 2: go pull up to our house there any second. That's

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Speaker 2: a blessing. I only ask just let's follow my rules.

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Speaker 2: I'm not even a rule kind of lady. I just

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Speaker 2: do believe that babies and little kids in a little

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Speaker 2: bit of structure, and if we can all be on

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Speaker 2: the same page, I'd be great. But my mom told

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Speaker 2: me off too, and Marta said, I am grandma, and

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Speaker 2: she goes, this.

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Speaker 3: Is what we do.

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Speaker 1: Well, that's the other thing. It's free. It's you get

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Speaker 1: what you pay for. Girl, Like, the kid is going

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Speaker 1: to be saved. The kid's not gonna choke at anything,

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Speaker 1: the kid's not gonna like nothing bad's gonna have. But

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Speaker 1: it's gonna be a little sugar hie. And you're not

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Speaker 1: paying for it, so you don't get to mandate with free,

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Speaker 1: free is.

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Speaker 3: Free, well grandma is free childcare. But I also do

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Speaker 3: get to call the rules a little bit, don't you think, No, I.

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Speaker 1: Kylie, Hi, you having the same struggle as Paulina.

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Speaker 6: Hi.

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Speaker 5: Yes, I am Hi, Paulina. I just had a sign

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Speaker 5: last July gulation one thank you. And it's not my

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Speaker 5: Baron's first grandchild. My older sister has a three year

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Speaker 5: old son, so they've been navigating this the same thing,

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Speaker 5: but my sister is definitely much more laid down. The

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Speaker 5: law sets the boundaries, and I guess it's easier for

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Speaker 5: me because I'm a little farther away. My parents are

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Speaker 5: in Connecticut and I live in Raleigh, North Carolina, so

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Speaker 5: you know, yeah, it's a little bit of a distance there.

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Speaker 5: So I don't like see them all the time. But

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Speaker 5: when we do see them, or when we face time

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Speaker 5: or we interact around the holidays, they say a lot

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Speaker 5: of these terms that I don't really like using around

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Speaker 5: my son. Like they'll say like, oh, you're such a

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Speaker 5: good boy. Have you been such a good boy, and

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Speaker 5: it's like he's a baby. Of course he's a good boy.

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Speaker 5: Like the way they talk to him is just not

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Speaker 5: my favorite, and I already know that if I was,

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Speaker 5: you know, not with him and they were watching him,

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Speaker 5: they would get and slices of cake and sugar all

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Speaker 5: the time.

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Speaker 1: But I guess it's like you can, you can fly

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Speaker 1: back on that. But I don't know, this is this

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Speaker 1: is just what this is what, this is a relationship, like,

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Speaker 1: this is a dynamic. This is what's supposed to And again,

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Speaker 1: it's not like it's, hey, come over here and play

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Speaker 1: with scissors, you know. It's it's like, yeah, come over,

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Speaker 1: come over to Nana's house and we can have ice cream,

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Speaker 1: because that's what Nana's gonna do exactly, you know.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, but I've seen the unhealthy habits my parents have

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Speaker 5: and I don't have the same unhealthy habits, like specifically

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Speaker 5: with food. And people talk about how like addicting sugar is,

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Speaker 5: and I just feel like we don't need to be introducing,

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Speaker 5: like if we're talking about the food situation specifically, we

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Speaker 5: don't need to be introducing sugar at such a young age.

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Speaker 5: They'll have their whole life to go eat all the

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Speaker 5: candy and sugar they want. But you know, at such

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Speaker 5: a young age, when they don't even know what they're

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Speaker 5: asking for, we don't need to just be handing them

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Speaker 5: like Shoda and sugar and cake.

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Speaker 1: You wait till they introduce them to Heroin. Now that's wild.

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Speaker 1: That's going to be a wild time. Okay, Hey, I

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Speaker 1: hear what you're saying, and thank you for calling it,

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Speaker 1: thank you for listening. Have a great day.

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Speaker 4: Thank God.

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Speaker 1: No, I mean I get it, like it must be frustrating,

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Speaker 1: But at the same time, it comes from a place

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Speaker 1: of love. It's not like I don't think it's necessari hopefully,

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Speaker 1: Like when my parents got divorced and I would go

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Speaker 1: over to my father's house and it was like, basically

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Speaker 1: it was, hey, what does your mom not want you

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Speaker 1: to do? Like what will your mom not let you have?

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Speaker 1: Let's go get it right now. And that was out

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Speaker 1: of spite.

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Speaker 3: This is a love yeah, Pee.

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Speaker 6: I have to say now that my friends are having

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Speaker 6: kids of their own, two of my best friend's moms

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Speaker 6: have come to me and said, hey, you had a

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Speaker 6: really close relationship with your grandma.

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Speaker 3: Can you give me some.

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Speaker 6: Advice on how to have that with my grandkids, which

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Speaker 6: honor of a lifetime. But I tell them it was

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Speaker 6: built on secrets between us, like we were doing naughty

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Speaker 6: stuff together that eventually turned into drinking buddies.

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Speaker 3: But when I was young, it was the sugar.

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Speaker 6: It was the taking me shopping the stuff, you know,

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Speaker 6: And I'm like, it was built up.

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Speaker 3: That's a blessing, yeah, and I love that.

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Speaker 1: I also think it's different generations too, because my grandparents

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Speaker 1: came from a time. I mean they were like thirties, forties, fifties,

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Speaker 1: you know, like I'm talking nineteen.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, we're talking one hundred years ago.

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Speaker 1: Basically one hundred years ago. Honestly, my grandparents died in

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Speaker 1: you know, five six years ago. They were ninety two

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Speaker 1: years old, ninety one, ninety two, and I think they

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Speaker 1: it might be different now than it was then because

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Speaker 1: in some ways my grandparents were more stern in in

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Speaker 1: other ways they were more loving and not loving but

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Speaker 1: loving in a different way. So it was fun time,

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Speaker 1: like we did fun stuff, but in other ways, you

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Speaker 1: didn't disappoint my grandfather and you didn't talk back to

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Speaker 1: my grandmother either. And I wonder if now it's like

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Speaker 1: the boundaries are looser, or it's it's just more laid

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Speaker 1: back than it used to be. So like it was

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Speaker 1: easier maybe for my mom to say sure, because she

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Speaker 1: knew that Nanagi Dad were gonna like hold it down.

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Speaker 1: You know, there was a line, but it was fun

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Speaker 1: but like to like, yeah, maybe a little more ice cream.

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Speaker 1: But then also like you're gonna be in bed and

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Speaker 1: you're gonna be you know when I was older, you're

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Speaker 1: gonna be home by a certain time because there was

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Speaker 1: that respect. I wonder if it's like because in some

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Speaker 1: ways my parents were more laid back than they were,

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Speaker 1: and I think you're talking about a generation now where

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Speaker 1: maybe it's like I don't know, maybe maybe it's gone

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Speaker 1: the other way where older people are more are more

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Speaker 1: laid back. She's like whatever, you know what I mean,

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Speaker 1: I do.

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Speaker 3: That's the thing with my mom.

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Speaker 2: I love her so much, Ado, but I know that

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Speaker 2: she's in her grandma era and Marta has always been

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Speaker 2: done doing what she wants, like that's never been you're

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Speaker 2: not changing that.

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Speaker 3: You're not changing Marta. So I think Gigi's very lucky

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Speaker 3: to have her.

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Speaker 2: But grandparents, if you're listening, if a parent, you know,

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Speaker 2: if your child is asking you please, let's not give sugar,

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Speaker 2: you know, a whole box of oreoles.

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Speaker 3: Like maybe let's not compromise, let's compromise.

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Speaker 1: Somebody said, Paulin in a good luck with that. I

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Speaker 1: had my rules, my boundaries, and she picked and chose

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Speaker 1: what she honored. This is a text what she honored.

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Speaker 1: She also lives five minutes away and it was free.

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Speaker 1: Trust me, she'll be okay. Minor eighteen plus and now

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Speaker 1: it's all good. So look, did they make it to eighteen?

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Speaker 1: It will be fine. A more Fred show next