Speaker 1: Welcome to Katie's Crib, a production of Shonda land Audio
Speaker 1: in partnership with I Heart Radio. Hi everybody, and welcome
Speaker 1: back to Katie's Crib. Today we have an awesome episode
Speaker 1: with my dear friend Dan Yelled Brooks. You would know
Speaker 1: her as Tasty on Orange is the New Black amidst
Speaker 1: a million other things. She just welcomed her daughter Freya
Speaker 1: into the world, and so it's a very interesting episode
Speaker 1: to talk all about her emergency c section which she
Speaker 1: didn't plan, her struggles with postpartum depression which she also
Speaker 1: didn't plan, and all of the body image stuff that
Speaker 1: comes up around pregnancy, having a baby, and postpartum. She
Speaker 1: just exudes joy and hope. I love her so much.
Speaker 1: Let's give it up for the one and only Dan
Speaker 1: Yelle Brooks. You have had like a lot of changes
Speaker 1: in the past year issue to say goodbye to your
Speaker 1: Orange is the New Black families six years, you know
Speaker 1: it a life's like, Oh my god, we're so lucky.
Speaker 1: That's such a lightning in a bottle like situation. To
Speaker 1: get first of all, to get an acting job period right,
Speaker 1: To get an acting job that you love that lasts
Speaker 1: for a while is insane and then to also like
Speaker 1: go through all these life changes, you know, and you
Speaker 1: had a female boss who's like incredible and mine too.
Speaker 1: I feel like Genji Cohen, who created Orange the New Black,
Speaker 1: and Shawna Rhymes are just like the best of the
Speaker 1: best in terms of like powerful women who are also
Speaker 1: moms and who are encouraging of you making a family
Speaker 1: while on your show, did you get pregnant and shoot
Speaker 1: at the same time. I literally got pregnant, almost not
Speaker 1: to the day, but almost the day after we wrapped.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh wow, I'm pregnant. Perfect but like
Speaker 1: what a great setup, and like, no big deal, But
Speaker 1: you got engaged to death. I got a ring on it.
Speaker 1: I want to talk to you about a million things,
Speaker 1: but like just about you getting engaged. You got engaged
Speaker 1: after you had the baby. Yes, I think there's a
Speaker 1: lot of society tradition ship that we have to face
Speaker 1: as moms, and I think I just think you're already
Speaker 1: fucking throwing that out with the bathwater. But you were like,
Speaker 1: oh no, no no, no, Like I got pregnant, he's loved
Speaker 1: my life. We got engaged. Like you're just not doing
Speaker 1: anything in the order that people are supposed to subscribe to.
Speaker 1: Have you always been like that? I think I have,
Speaker 1: but I didn't grow up like that. My family is
Speaker 1: very rooted in tradition in the church. Is your dad
Speaker 1: a no? No? My father is a dea, and my
Speaker 1: mother's and minister. So this was definitely not the order
Speaker 1: that they would have liked it to go. UM. But
Speaker 1: I think I kind of always been the type to
Speaker 1: ben the rules and do it best for me um,
Speaker 1: which has always been important because I don't want to
Speaker 1: live for someone else's happiness if I'm not going to
Speaker 1: be happy. So did you find a lot of judgment,
Speaker 1: like with your family or friends at all when you
Speaker 1: were like, I'm pregnant and people were like what, No?
Speaker 1: And I think it's because I was thirty. I think
Speaker 1: it's because I'm like at that age with people like
Speaker 1: are you gonna have a baby? You need to have baby?
Speaker 1: You know what I mean. So I think it was
Speaker 1: kind of like oh yeay, friendly versus and your family
Speaker 1: was just so excited about the baby versus the order
Speaker 1: in which you didn't. Well, that's good to hear, because
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm sure other people in your situation
Speaker 1: probably would have had it and I'm a Southern girl,
Speaker 1: so you know, if you're from the South and listening
Speaker 1: to this, I'm sure you get it right. Um. Do
Speaker 1: you play being raised religiously with your parents and the church.
Speaker 1: Do you feel like that will be a big part
Speaker 1: of how you raise Frea or is that a conversation
Speaker 1: you have with Dennis a lot that's sort of more
Speaker 1: fluid or Uh, that's definitely a conversation that we have
Speaker 1: with my fiance. Uh. You know, I think it's important
Speaker 1: that we're on the same page religiously, and luckily we are.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm sure it can work in other households
Speaker 1: where you can be fluid and believe what you want,
Speaker 1: but it really works for us to be on the
Speaker 1: same page. So we're both Christians, and um, we plan
Speaker 1: to raise her that way. Um, but I also just
Speaker 1: want her to be raised, you know, like her name,
Speaker 1: her name is Freya. Yeah, tell me about that, Tell
Speaker 1: me about that. Where does the name come from? It's beautiful?
Speaker 1: Thank you? Well, Okay, so me and him are both
Speaker 1: d's and we wanted d names that that didn't really
Speaker 1: land because we kept looking at stuff and we're like, okay,
Speaker 1: d Well, it's hard to SAYD because can you call
Speaker 1: each other D? Yeah? I got but it's like, okay,
Speaker 1: Dunn this, you know, you say your name and I'll
Speaker 1: say mine at the same time. If we land on
Speaker 1: the same d names, and that's going to be it.
Speaker 1: We never landed on the same name, and so he
Speaker 1: was like, what's open up the pool? Two different letters?
Speaker 1: I was like okay. So I had told him the
Speaker 1: story about a young guy I met name Chosen, and
Speaker 1: I was like, I like that. It just had presents
Speaker 1: to his name the way he said it, and so
Speaker 1: I was like, I want something powerful and um he
Speaker 1: was like what about free? And I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: that's so good. Good Man is so well with me.
Speaker 1: So he started looking up different ways free could be,
Speaker 1: you know, said or you know a name for it
Speaker 1: and eat saw Freda and it's actually this Nordic goddess
Speaker 1: who was like the goddess of love and beauty and
Speaker 1: war and all that kind of good. Come on. So
Speaker 1: we're like done. We were like this is it? And
Speaker 1: did you have a easy pregnancy? Was it hard? Was
Speaker 1: it like everything you thought and more? Did you feel okay?
Speaker 1: I did feel good. I mean I had morning sickness
Speaker 1: the first uh, you know, try master and then um,
Speaker 1: things got easier. You know, you do start feeling like
Speaker 1: you're getting your strength back and stuff like you can
Speaker 1: do more, but they're always kind of was this like
Speaker 1: tiredness that lingered over me, but I just kind of
Speaker 1: leaned into it and I was like, I'm not going
Speaker 1: to but for you, I know, but now I'm feeling it.
Speaker 1: It's kind of a double edged sword because at first
Speaker 1: I really enjoyed the pregnancy, like I ate what you
Speaker 1: didn't do it? Yeah? Lord? I was like, I can't
Speaker 1: tell my shoe can you do that? Then my pregnancy
Speaker 1: did not go as planned, which is fine. My plan
Speaker 1: was to go with whatever guy's plan was and okay
Speaker 1: with that. So I wanted to go natural, um you know,
Speaker 1: no epidural, no nothing, um and just see where it
Speaker 1: takes me. And I had people say, oh, would you
Speaker 1: do that? That's crazy, Like if you don't have to
Speaker 1: deal with the pain, when I deal with the plane,
Speaker 1: I was like, I want to experience all that. Motherhood
Speaker 1: is like my thing. I want to I want to
Speaker 1: be that Amazonian woman that's like, yeah, I did that.
Speaker 1: Yeah you wanted to get into the Yeah. The Lord
Speaker 1: was like no, so one that ended up happening. Girl
Speaker 1: I ended up having to have an emergency C section
Speaker 1: because Freya and maconium in her system, which mcconium is
Speaker 1: basically when the baby poops inside their amniotic sect. So
Speaker 1: she was in distress and therefore we both could be
Speaker 1: in distress and we just had to make it happen.
Speaker 1: It's interesting, I'm so glad to be talking to you
Speaker 1: because we've we've done an episode on C sections in
Speaker 1: the first season, but I actually can't remember if we've
Speaker 1: really gone into detail on an emergency C section, which
Speaker 1: sounds in my head it's like on Grey's Anatomy or
Speaker 1: something like all of a sudden, things are beeping and
Speaker 1: like people are running into the room, and all of
Speaker 1: a sudden, a sort of peaceful labor vibe goes into
Speaker 1: like def con for and it's really fucking scary and
Speaker 1: you don't know what's happening. And that's when you know
Speaker 1: that doctors are like such miracle workers. I once asked
Speaker 1: my o B. I was like, how fast can you
Speaker 1: get a baby out if there's trouble. She's like, oh,
Speaker 1: I can get a baby out, and like twenty seconds
Speaker 1: or a minute and twenty seconds. I'm probably this is
Speaker 1: now through telephone and in my dramatic actress brain, but
Speaker 1: I think she said within like a minute and twenty
Speaker 1: seconds she could have you cut open the baby out
Speaker 1: and like everyone, okay, um was it? It was exactly
Speaker 1: that horrifying scary It was of E R m H.
Speaker 1: It started out really smooth and she was like, oh,
Speaker 1: you haven't dilated with too cinames. I'm like, I've been
Speaker 1: like and labor for like nine hours. What are you
Speaker 1: talking about? And she was like, yeah, you haven't dilated.
Speaker 1: Just go get something to eat or come back, go
Speaker 1: home whatever. And like two minutes later she looks at
Speaker 1: a monitor and the doctor doesn't really say much. She
Speaker 1: just starts calling other nurses and doctors in and they
Speaker 1: throw a oxygen mask on my face. They start throwing
Speaker 1: ivy in my arm, and now I'm not joking. It
Speaker 1: was almost about ten people in a room, a very
Speaker 1: tiny room now watching a monitor and telling me to
Speaker 1: stay calm when you just threw oxygen masks and ivy
Speaker 1: and my arm and you're telling me that my child
Speaker 1: isn't like her working like like they literally called it flatlining,
Speaker 1: oh flat lining. When the heart rate goes like there's
Speaker 1: no activity happening, right, So when you hear that, you
Speaker 1: so I immediately started just praying and singing the gospel
Speaker 1: song and I know you really did. I was taking
Speaker 1: out the Oxen's like put it back. Oh, I was
Speaker 1: singing Precious Lord. Where was Dennis? Is Dennis when Dennis
Speaker 1: losing his mind? Like? Is he staying very calm for me?
Speaker 1: My Dula was there who also worked in pediatric for
Speaker 1: children who are in distress, so she knew what to do.
Speaker 1: She was kind of a little more equipped than some
Speaker 1: of the other nurses, so um, having someone to advocate
Speaker 1: for me there was important too. But yeah, I just
Speaker 1: was like, I gotta stay comfort. I've heard when I
Speaker 1: have heard like friends who had emergency c sections, a
Speaker 1: lot of them have said they were just afraid, Like
Speaker 1: they felt very uninformed in the moment because I don't
Speaker 1: know if you would even understand the medical terms anyway,
Speaker 1: and so everything is just sort of happening around you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: everything's happening around you. And I just ended up telling
Speaker 1: the doctor when things calm down, because they ended up
Speaker 1: getting the heart rate back up, and she's like, we're
Speaker 1: just gonna monitor you for a little bit before we
Speaker 1: go into the C section, and I said okay, and
Speaker 1: I told her, I said, please let me know step
Speaker 1: by step what is going to happen, because what happened
Speaker 1: in there was unnecessary. Y'all. Just talk to me, communicate
Speaker 1: with me what's going on, and I will stay calm.
Speaker 1: Like for some women maybe that's not the case. You
Speaker 1: hear too much information, you freak out, But for me,
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm about to go onto a sixth
Speaker 1: section that I had no intention of having right now,
Speaker 1: so which is a major fucking surgery. And you're just like,
Speaker 1: I just found eight nine layers in your body, like
Speaker 1: I have apps right now. Okay, now tell me when
Speaker 1: they finally so they get the heart rate back up
Speaker 1: two stable, and then they say, does the doctor sort
Speaker 1: of drop the bomb like we're going to do a
Speaker 1: C section? We'll see. I'm gonna tell you the T.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I can't wait. I think it's important
Speaker 1: to know the T. So the thing was I didn't
Speaker 1: have the doctor that I was supposed to have, because
Speaker 1: it's you know, if you don't know and you want
Speaker 1: to be in my most likely you might not get
Speaker 1: the doctor that you think, because it's just how it works, right.
Speaker 1: So I didn't have the doctor, but thank god I
Speaker 1: didn't and I love her. But the reason I'm say
Speaker 1: I think god I didn't is because when the prior
Speaker 1: before getting pregnant, my doctor kept hinting to me that
Speaker 1: I might have pre aclampsia. She kept saying, pretty clampsy,
Speaker 1: is pretty clamsy that, blah blah blah blah blah. And
Speaker 1: I kept saying, I don't have it though there's no
Speaker 1: signs of it. I don't have high blood pressure. I
Speaker 1: don't have anything that's pre Clampsia is a it's basically
Speaker 1: when you have high blood pressure that can be dangerous
Speaker 1: to the mommy and the baby. Yes, and it's this
Speaker 1: is very scared, like you don't want it, like they
Speaker 1: don't want it. But people like, there are a lot
Speaker 1: of cases and you can be three hundred pounds. You
Speaker 1: could be perfect, doesn't thirty, It don't matter. You could
Speaker 1: be so healthy, you could be not healthy. But it
Speaker 1: kept bringing in my ears. She kept saying that it
Speaker 1: might need to get um what was it called induced?
Speaker 1: I didn't want to get induced, right, And then like
Speaker 1: she just kept kind of like saying the good reasons
Speaker 1: why it's okay to get a C section and all
Speaker 1: the stuff, and I was like, I don't want it.
Speaker 1: I don't wow. So all the doctor's appointment's fleeting up.
Speaker 1: She some some of these phrases and catchphrases and words
Speaker 1: had been floating around. They were floating around. But if
Speaker 1: I would have had that doctor, I probably would not
Speaker 1: have gotten that C section because I would have felt like, oh,
Speaker 1: this whole time, she's been putting that on me, and
Speaker 1: now she wants me to do this and saying this
Speaker 1: an emergency. I ain't doing it. And thank god you
Speaker 1: know this. This new doctor said, look, I want to
Speaker 1: honor what you want to do. You want to do
Speaker 1: this naturally. I want to help you do that, but
Speaker 1: right now it's not looking like that's the best thing
Speaker 1: for you. So I'm gonna let you hold out for
Speaker 1: an hour. I think we can do that, and after that, girlfriend,
Speaker 1: we need to come up with Plan B. And that's
Speaker 1: what we did. And I'm so glad it worked out
Speaker 1: that way because I just don't know if I would
Speaker 1: have followed through that C section and how that would
Speaker 1: have went down. Oh and how great. So you have
Speaker 1: this hour where you kind of got less. You came
Speaker 1: around to the idea and like felt more like you
Speaker 1: were in control, in the know. Yeah, And I talked
Speaker 1: to my dol about it, you know, and I love her.
Speaker 1: My Da was really trying to say what did she say?
Speaker 1: She kept being like, oh see, I think I'm seeing
Speaker 1: some more activity on the monitor. Wouldn't happening on end?
Speaker 1: Now tell me about that this C section was it?
Speaker 1: Could you feel anything? You had already had an epidural
Speaker 1: in or so they they did the spinal tap. Um.
Speaker 1: But but again I told the doctor, I said, man,
Speaker 1: tell me every step, and she coached me like the best,
Speaker 1: like what's the best football team that what's oh my god,
Speaker 1: you're asking Tom Brady, I don't know, yeah, one of those.
Speaker 1: So you're getting fucking coached through like you're a goddamn quarterback.
Speaker 1: That's like the Patriots in this we like the Patriots, right,
Speaker 1: And she taught me through every step and they did
Speaker 1: the spinal tap and I couldn't even feel it going
Speaker 1: my back, and um, you know, but then all of
Speaker 1: a sudden, you can't feel nothing, like everything is. You
Speaker 1: just feel like a sixteen will truck is laying on
Speaker 1: you because everything is so heavy. Yeah, you can't feel anything.
Speaker 1: I had that feeling too. I had it, but I
Speaker 1: had it. Yeah, I had it epidural like my bottom
Speaker 1: half were just Remember my legs were like bricks. Like.
Speaker 1: I was like, you can't lift them. They feel like
Speaker 1: a billion pounds like and um. Then I you know,
Speaker 1: I put on my playlist and the nurse held my
Speaker 1: hand and I told her I'm just gonna keep my
Speaker 1: eyes on you until didn't gets in the room because
Speaker 1: I felt like I was gonna pass out, you know,
Speaker 1: because I've never had any major surgery. And then the
Speaker 1: important thing to remember is the aftercare. I think we
Speaker 1: forget to take care of usself after because I literally
Speaker 1: bounced up like I got this because you're so drugged
Speaker 1: up and you're like I can move that second acirl?
Speaker 1: Fight are you so sore? And just like and they're
Speaker 1: making you walk around the hospital and you can't even
Speaker 1: sit up. You can't get on the toilet. It's a disaster. Know,
Speaker 1: You're like, what is happening? What? Oh my gosh, it
Speaker 1: was crazy? Did they let you hold the baby? What's
Speaker 1: the deal? Like? How would they better give me my baby?
Speaker 1: And how is your here? So did it take like
Speaker 1: six weeks? How long until you I mean you said
Speaker 1: you're still struggling. Oh, yeah, the app thing is fucked
Speaker 1: for a while. So I was on a commit having
Speaker 1: an emergency C section for eight weeks. So that's two
Speaker 1: months of not really doing much and it was hard.
Speaker 1: To be honest, I gained sixty pounds being pregnant, and um,
Speaker 1: it's been the challenge because I had kind of branded
Speaker 1: myself and came into this world as like miss body
Speaker 1: Positivity and like you were on the cover of Shape, right,
Speaker 1: was on the cover of Coming. I mean I literally
Speaker 1: had a sixteen seventeen ft billboard in Times Square in
Speaker 1: two seventeen and me and underwear. I remember this so
Speaker 1: well and I loved it. Like I was like yes,
Speaker 1: because I maybe I was doing wait or some on
Speaker 1: Broadway then, and so I think I was maybe walking
Speaker 1: through Times Square, but like I just remember seeing your
Speaker 1: fucking hot body in brawny panties. I mean I was like,
Speaker 1: this is like, this is the best shout ever. Tell
Speaker 1: me about how your body awareness and your body confidence
Speaker 1: has changed, shifted or every day it can feel different,
Speaker 1: you know at first because your stomach doesn't go down
Speaker 1: right way. For me, I was in this like glorious
Speaker 1: stage of wow, I just had a baby. This is
Speaker 1: kind of cool, you know, like, look what my body
Speaker 1: did is changed because of this miracle, magical moment that
Speaker 1: I've had. And then after a while, when that big
Speaker 1: belly goes down and it ain't really going down as
Speaker 1: much as you wanted to go down side now I was.
Speaker 1: I didn't get down to add anything until two years.
Speaker 1: After years, and I think anyone else is complete fucking bullshit,
Speaker 1: Like when you hear like how Hollywood gets their body back,
Speaker 1: give me a fun sorry about it. First of all,
Speaker 1: why it's so important what you're doing this podcast is
Speaker 1: so important because you we do not get saturated with that.
Speaker 1: We don't hear it takes two years. We don't hear you. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm still you don't hear that. And I had absolutely
Speaker 1: no ambition to work out or move my body for
Speaker 1: at least a year or a year and a half,
Speaker 1: and then it wasn't until I quit breastfeeding. I didn't
Speaker 1: feel like myself until my son was a year and
Speaker 1: a half. And I didn't get some sort of resemblance
Speaker 1: of what my body once was until two years after
Speaker 1: that's my story. Um, that's insane. I mean, oh wait,
Speaker 1: I think Hi, free guys, we're very lucky on this
Speaker 1: episode of Katie's Crib that the beautiful, one and only
Speaker 1: Freya has graced us with her presence. Oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: she's smiling and I my heart just stopped. How are
Speaker 1: you breastfeeding? Did you breastfeed? How is that journey? I'm
Speaker 1: breace feeding, um, and I don't get that much, to
Speaker 1: be honest, one of these women out here, it's like
Speaker 1: such a such milk. I guess so angry at women
Speaker 1: who like just inst a story their refrigerators and freezers
Speaker 1: that are chock full. I'm like, dude, may not be sensitive,
Speaker 1: like that's not every woman is a milkmaid. Like, no,
Speaker 1: it's hard. Yesterday she looked at me bumping. She said,
Speaker 1: that's all he got, little mama. Yeah, And you can't
Speaker 1: say ship like that because we're it's like you're in
Speaker 1: the hormonal spot where if you get an ounce, you're
Speaker 1: like I made that, Like that's that's it, and that's
Speaker 1: that's enough right now. Like just it's a miracle that
Speaker 1: any of it's happening at all. Did you, um always
Speaker 1: want to breastfeed with it something you really fought for.
Speaker 1: That was the first thing I asked the I was
Speaker 1: just like, yeah, I presonator now. And to be honest, Katie,
Speaker 1: that was the one class at all the classes I
Speaker 1: did not take and I should have. And and I
Speaker 1: put that girl in my breast and the first time
Speaker 1: I was like, oh cool. But we struggled to latch
Speaker 1: her because she had such a hard bite. How these
Speaker 1: nurses would come by and put their finger in her
Speaker 1: mouth to feel how hard she was biting and how
Speaker 1: she was latching, and they're like, this is not normal,
Speaker 1: how hard she was. I hurt so bad. I felt
Speaker 1: it like a vein in my back. It was like
Speaker 1: like sharp pains in my back. And I had to
Speaker 1: stop at one point, which I think stopped how much
Speaker 1: milk that was producing because my nipple fell off. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: my nipple fell up to I lost nipple. And I'll
Speaker 1: tell you this stuff. I don't think we are given
Speaker 1: an education at all in terms of breast meeting. I
Speaker 1: feel like everyone it should be included an insurance that
Speaker 1: a lactation specialist comes to your house, like three visits
Speaker 1: or whatever, because you even if you had taken that class.
Speaker 1: I have news for you. Read kid and Mouth latches different.
Speaker 1: It's such a personal thing of how it works for you.
Speaker 1: I had the worst time breastfeeding and I had postpartum
Speaker 1: depression and I felt like such a failure because breastfeeding
Speaker 1: was so hard for me. So you had postpartum depression too, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I have. Um. You know, it's crazy because I've always
Speaker 1: been mis positive and I'm still that. It's very important
Speaker 1: what you speak over your life. And so I kept
Speaker 1: saying I don't have it. I'm good I have And
Speaker 1: then I had to just admit to myself, no, you
Speaker 1: have this girl, You're going through it. And it wasn't
Speaker 1: just necessarily crying out all the time and things like that.
Speaker 1: It just was my like mood. I just feel so
Speaker 1: down sometimes, you know, and one minute it could just
Speaker 1: be so exhausted and trying to like keep up with
Speaker 1: the house, find a babysitter, you know, cook dinner for
Speaker 1: your partner, you know, make dinner for yourself, walk to
Speaker 1: stay in shape. But whether ain't helping you with nothing.
Speaker 1: It's raiding. So I've cried inside too, just everything, you know.
Speaker 1: But then I did counseling therapy and that has been
Speaker 1: so helpful. And my therapist said something that was so
Speaker 1: valuable to me. She said, what's happening is you were
Speaker 1: mourning your old self. You were never gonna be that
Speaker 1: person again, that girl that was on that billboard that
Speaker 1: was miss thaying sexy hot. Not that you will never
Speaker 1: be sexy the way you want to be again, but
Speaker 1: you'll never be that girl again. And and it's okay.
Speaker 1: And the person you are becoming and the person that
Speaker 1: you are, has so much more value and it's such
Speaker 1: a rock star. So embrace her right now, and then
Speaker 1: you'll be able to layer those things that you miss
Speaker 1: about the old person back into your life. But you
Speaker 1: ain't never gonna be that twenty eight year old girl.
Speaker 1: But you're not. And that's okay. Your body will be different,
Speaker 1: but it'll be fucking awesome. Like there are things I
Speaker 1: used to hate about my figure that I don't even
Speaker 1: think about anymore, and then there are new things about
Speaker 1: like it's just different. But I think the thing that
Speaker 1: messed me up, Katie, is that you hear all these
Speaker 1: stories about oh breastbane, I lost so much way. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, it's like breastbane that gay so so did
Speaker 1: I Okay, I have a few of these asshole lovely
Speaker 1: friends who I love with all my heart, who are
Speaker 1: thinner than they've ever been for having a baby. That
Speaker 1: is not most women. Okay, that is a handful. That
Speaker 1: was not my story. I had never had bigger boobs
Speaker 1: like that, Like, I just had never even to my
Speaker 1: point now said what is this? Seems like isn't that
Speaker 1: a good thing? I'm like, I don't know, no, And
Speaker 1: also like it took me years before I could like
Speaker 1: think of my boobs as like a sexual thing again,
Speaker 1: Like I'm like, oh God, like, don't even go near
Speaker 1: them like a that's like absolutely not until they were
Speaker 1: my own again. I think it was like a year
Speaker 1: after I had stopped breastfeeding. Oh my gosh, you guys,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Free I just gave me face again and
Speaker 1: I'm just lost. She is so incredibly cute. Um. Did
Speaker 1: you end up having to go on stuff for postpartum
Speaker 1: depression or was it just therapy? Now I've chosen not
Speaker 1: to because I don't think it's that necessary. Um, But
Speaker 1: the therapy I'm very consistent with. I do about once
Speaker 1: a week going and that really is just helping me
Speaker 1: a lot. How are you feeling about everything now, oh girl,
Speaker 1: I mean really trying to take this time, you know,
Speaker 1: being that you kind of in a way, you have
Speaker 1: to get me back in shape, you know, work out,
Speaker 1: work out every day and eat right. But I feel
Speaker 1: like this is gonna be over and I'm still not
Speaker 1: going to be happy like physically, and I have to
Speaker 1: just and grace that. I guess you said it's gonna
Speaker 1: take time. It does. And then I just had a
Speaker 1: whole human being, which is a privilege because there's so
Speaker 1: many women that struggle to do that daily and it's hard,
Speaker 1: you know, and to be what I'm sure you've heard
Speaker 1: a hundred times, um, but it's to be kind to
Speaker 1: myself and that is a daily practice. Are there things
Speaker 1: that you do that are like saving you right now?
Speaker 1: For me, it was like if I could just take
Speaker 1: a fucking shower, that was like such a wind, girl. Yeah,
Speaker 1: taking a shower, Um, really that's been a big one
Speaker 1: impression my teeth huge, it's a huge wind. That's huge, huge,
Speaker 1: I'm telling you there. That's that's like all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: life gets very very simple when you have a baby
Speaker 1: and you're dealing with postpartum depression, you're dealing with hormones,
Speaker 1: you're dealing with body image stuff. You're dealing with breastfeeding.
Speaker 1: The simple things of like eat a meal, brush your teeth,
Speaker 1: take a shower. It's like they're just like huge, nice
Speaker 1: for to get that gas out, that's what you want. Um,
Speaker 1: Are you a meditator or like a yoga person? I wasn't,
Speaker 1: I like always trying to be, but now I wish
Speaker 1: when you've been pregnant. Girl couldn't tie my shoe, I
Speaker 1: couldn't bend over, I could barely get in the car.
Speaker 1: I mean, and I loved it for many of it,
Speaker 1: but now I'm like, I need my flaceability back. I
Speaker 1: mean stretching, but not Yoga is not really my thing.
Speaker 1: It's too slow for me. It's too like I like pilates,
Speaker 1: though polates was fun when I did that, but no,
Speaker 1: I just get outside, walk two miles a day, three
Speaker 1: if I'm filling it with Frea or by yourself with Freya.
Speaker 1: And again like my therapist, she's wonderful, she told me
Speaker 1: when I go on my walks, to affirm my daughter.
Speaker 1: So that's what I've been doing. I put on some
Speaker 1: good music, you know, my walks I just look at
Speaker 1: her and say, you're great, good girl, You're smart, and
Speaker 1: you fine girl. You're gonna be so kind to people,
Speaker 1: like just tell her, you know what I want to
Speaker 1: put into who she is. Um. So that's been good
Speaker 1: to like it to spend time with her. Did you
Speaker 1: feel connected to her right away when you were dealing
Speaker 1: with your postpartum depression? Did? I sept from the minute
Speaker 1: she came out. But I mean there are moments that
Speaker 1: I just want to take a break. A break is yeah.
Speaker 1: I finally admitted to Adam the other day. I said
Speaker 1: to Adam, you know, I'm so lucky that I have
Speaker 1: this job where, like you on Orange and Black, like
Speaker 1: I'm in the ensemble. So there are weeks where I
Speaker 1: work really really hard, and there are weeks where I don't.
Speaker 1: And it's sort of the best thing because there are
Speaker 1: days where I'm so full on mom and there are
Speaker 1: days where I have to leave before he's out and
Speaker 1: I come home from shoe yes when when he's already asleep,
Speaker 1: and I told him, I say, I fucking miss that.
Speaker 1: I really miss working and I really miss like not
Speaker 1: seeing him for one or two days a week because
Speaker 1: it just really makes me miss him. Now. Look, my
Speaker 1: kids a toddler right now. So ship is so real,
Speaker 1: but um in a different way than what you're dealing
Speaker 1: with being a stay at home mom. This is the
Speaker 1: longest I've experienced it, and it's UM. I like such
Speaker 1: such respect and like props to every women woman that
Speaker 1: either makes this choice because they want to or they
Speaker 1: have to either one. But how did you and guaranting
Speaker 1: it at the States after oh my god, husband was
Speaker 1: doing it? You can, yes we did. My husband and
Speaker 1: I did waitress together. For you guys listening, I think
Speaker 1: allot of you know, but if you didn't, we did
Speaker 1: Broadway together. And I had a seven month old and
Speaker 1: I was still really really struggling with UM identity stuff,
Speaker 1: and I was still very much overweight from how I
Speaker 1: feel good about myself UM, and I was really worried
Speaker 1: on being on stage because I um still hadn't really
Speaker 1: gotten control of my bladdery yet and I was like
Speaker 1: fucking horrified that someone was going to throw me around
Speaker 1: the stage and I was just going to like pee everywhere.
Speaker 1: My first two weeks of my Broadway debut, I was
Speaker 1: literally in depends, like I was I was, I was
Speaker 1: in depends because I was just I was scared. I
Speaker 1: was so scared. It's come back around, thank god. Um,
Speaker 1: but you know it was awful, Like I every single night,
Speaker 1: I um handed my kid off to our nanny and
Speaker 1: I only put him to bed one night a week,
Speaker 1: and it was really, really um a struggle because I
Speaker 1: felt for the first time, like I really really wanted
Speaker 1: to be in two places at once and that that
Speaker 1: was not possible. Do you feel like your child felt
Speaker 1: no good? Okay, I say this only because I was
Speaker 1: a nanny for like ten years, but it's definitely hard,
Speaker 1: and we say it on this podcast all the time,
Speaker 1: Like I don't really believe you can have it all.
Speaker 1: Like I think any day where you're succeeding as a
Speaker 1: mom is a day where you're not succeeding at work.
Speaker 1: And the day where you're on set till late at
Speaker 1: night is the day you're not putting your kid to sleep.
Speaker 1: And that's just like you sort of hope at the
Speaker 1: end of the year that it's sort of equals out.
Speaker 1: I just think like if you are finding caregivers or
Speaker 1: if it's your parents or your partner or an auntie
Speaker 1: or whatever the funk it is, and that person loves
Speaker 1: on your kid. The more people that love your kid,
Speaker 1: the better. And when are you in, Dennis, Like, how
Speaker 1: are you guys doing? Are you even talking about wedding
Speaker 1: talk or you like, we need to get through this situation. Like,
Speaker 1: I mean, we were talking about wedding talk until this happened. Um,
Speaker 1: you know, and we're all at home, so you know,
Speaker 1: I've had girlfriends have to cancel their wedding ione their weddings.
Speaker 1: So luckily for us, we were we're never in a rutch,
Speaker 1: and so we've actually been doing merrit or counseling to
Speaker 1: make sure that we just set the foundation and that's
Speaker 1: good to go because I know this is my husband,
Speaker 1: don't give me wrong, and I know i'm his wife,
Speaker 1: but I think it's important to lay down the foundation
Speaker 1: so that when we're in this relationship and things get hard,
Speaker 1: will have the tools to communicate well with each other,
Speaker 1: especially they don't want a child into the meets. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so that's what we've been doing. I'm just so impressed
Speaker 1: by you and your like ability to go for outside help.
Speaker 1: I think we've found a lot on this podcast that's
Speaker 1: so hard for women to do. To make it seem
Speaker 1: like they've got everything together or that's the thing. We're
Speaker 1: supposed to be fed. And if you look like you
Speaker 1: might not, or you ask for someone for help, you
Speaker 1: might feel shamed about it. But I'm just so impressed
Speaker 1: by you that you've got therapy when you need it.
Speaker 1: I'm a huge I've been therapy for ten years, and
Speaker 1: that you and your husband have like an outside person
Speaker 1: to talk through all the stress of a kid, because
Speaker 1: it does, I mean, it takes a toll, especially like
Speaker 1: with what we do. You know, in this industry, it
Speaker 1: really is not set up to rust to win as couples.
Speaker 1: I think they're so looking for that story of like
Speaker 1: see another divorce or you know, such a such a
Speaker 1: such steped out of their marriage or something. And I
Speaker 1: don't want that. It's not worth it to me, you know,
Speaker 1: to be a part of Hollywood. I don't want to that.
Speaker 1: I want my family to be tight, great, great mood.
Speaker 1: I just think you're amazing. I think you're inspiring as all.
Speaker 1: How um, any last bits of advice to women who
Speaker 1: are maybe pregnant or they just had a baby. Oh man,
Speaker 1: I just say, be kind to yourself and go with
Speaker 1: the flow. And that's in every stage. Whether you're trying
Speaker 1: to come up with your birth plan, you really got
Speaker 1: to go with the flow, you know, Or if you're
Speaker 1: trying to have a baby, go with the flow. Well
Speaker 1: she had a baby. Go with the flow. When did
Speaker 1: you get any weight? Go? What'ss all like? You don't
Speaker 1: get too caught up in what you think things are
Speaker 1: supposed to look like, because what they will be is
Speaker 1: exactly what it's supposed to happen. And so just enjoy
Speaker 1: the journey, um and be patient. Patients, patients, patients. You
Speaker 1: are doing an amazing job, Danielle. You are. She's sitting
Speaker 1: here talking to me giving motherly advice as she rocks
Speaker 1: her beautiful baby on her chest with your headphones, and
Speaker 1: you're doing it. You really are, and and it's really
Speaker 1: insane circumstances that you are doing this in with quarantine
Speaker 1: and coronavirus and it's scary. Thank you for taking time
Speaker 1: out of your day. I'm so happy to see your
Speaker 1: face and I'm so happy to me for you. Okay,
Speaker 1: thank you, Danielle bro Us. Bye, Thank you guys so
Speaker 1: much for listening to Katie's Crib. I just love that
Speaker 1: episode and I will always remember the image of Danielle
Speaker 1: singing gospel music in the room when she found out
Speaker 1: she had to have an emergency C section. I love
Speaker 1: her so much. I hope you got a toe out
Speaker 1: of the episode. Remember to subscribe and follow Katie's Crib
Speaker 1: on all the socials. You guys are awesome. Katie's Crib
Speaker 1: is a production of Shonda land Audio in partnership with
Speaker 1: I heart Radio. For more podcasts from Shonda land Audio,
Speaker 1: visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you
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