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Speaker 1: Welcome to Katie's Crib, a production of Shonda land Audio

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Speaker 1: in partnership with I Heart Radio. Hi everybody, and welcome

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Speaker 1: back to Katie's Crib. Today we have an awesome episode

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Speaker 1: with my dear friend Dan Yelled Brooks. You would know

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Speaker 1: her as Tasty on Orange is the New Black amidst

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Speaker 1: a million other things. She just welcomed her daughter Freya

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Speaker 1: into the world, and so it's a very interesting episode

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Speaker 1: to talk all about her emergency c section which she

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Speaker 1: didn't plan, her struggles with postpartum depression which she also

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Speaker 1: didn't plan, and all of the body image stuff that

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Speaker 1: comes up around pregnancy, having a baby, and postpartum. She

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Speaker 1: just exudes joy and hope. I love her so much.

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Speaker 1: Let's give it up for the one and only Dan

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Speaker 1: Yelle Brooks. You have had like a lot of changes

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Speaker 1: in the past year issue to say goodbye to your

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Speaker 1: Orange is the New Black families six years, you know

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Speaker 1: it a life's like, Oh my god, we're so lucky.

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Speaker 1: That's such a lightning in a bottle like situation. To

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Speaker 1: get first of all, to get an acting job period right,

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Speaker 1: To get an acting job that you love that lasts

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Speaker 1: for a while is insane and then to also like

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Speaker 1: go through all these life changes, you know, and you

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Speaker 1: had a female boss who's like incredible and mine too.

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Speaker 1: I feel like Genji Cohen, who created Orange the New Black,

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Speaker 1: and Shawna Rhymes are just like the best of the

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Speaker 1: best in terms of like powerful women who are also

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Speaker 1: moms and who are encouraging of you making a family

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Speaker 1: while on your show, did you get pregnant and shoot

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Speaker 1: at the same time. I literally got pregnant, almost not

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Speaker 1: to the day, but almost the day after we wrapped.

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh wow, I'm pregnant. Perfect but like

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Speaker 1: what a great setup, and like, no big deal, But

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Speaker 1: you got engaged to death. I got a ring on it.

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Speaker 1: I want to talk to you about a million things,

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Speaker 1: but like just about you getting engaged. You got engaged

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Speaker 1: after you had the baby. Yes, I think there's a

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Speaker 1: lot of society tradition ship that we have to face

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Speaker 1: as moms, and I think I just think you're already

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Speaker 1: fucking throwing that out with the bathwater. But you were like,

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Speaker 1: oh no, no no, no, Like I got pregnant, he's loved

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Speaker 1: my life. We got engaged. Like you're just not doing

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Speaker 1: anything in the order that people are supposed to subscribe to.

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Speaker 1: Have you always been like that? I think I have,

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Speaker 1: but I didn't grow up like that. My family is

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Speaker 1: very rooted in tradition in the church. Is your dad

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Speaker 1: a no? No? My father is a dea, and my

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Speaker 1: mother's and minister. So this was definitely not the order

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Speaker 1: that they would have liked it to go. UM. But

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Speaker 1: I think I kind of always been the type to

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Speaker 1: ben the rules and do it best for me um,

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Speaker 1: which has always been important because I don't want to

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Speaker 1: live for someone else's happiness if I'm not going to

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Speaker 1: be happy. So did you find a lot of judgment,

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Speaker 1: like with your family or friends at all when you

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Speaker 1: were like, I'm pregnant and people were like what, No?

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Speaker 1: And I think it's because I was thirty. I think

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Speaker 1: it's because I'm like at that age with people like

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Speaker 1: are you gonna have a baby? You need to have baby?

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Speaker 1: You know what I mean. So I think it was

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Speaker 1: kind of like oh yeay, friendly versus and your family

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Speaker 1: was just so excited about the baby versus the order

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Speaker 1: in which you didn't. Well, that's good to hear, because

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm sure other people in your situation

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Speaker 1: probably would have had it and I'm a Southern girl,

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Speaker 1: so you know, if you're from the South and listening

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Speaker 1: to this, I'm sure you get it right. Um. Do

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Speaker 1: you play being raised religiously with your parents and the church.

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Speaker 1: Do you feel like that will be a big part

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Speaker 1: of how you raise Frea or is that a conversation

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Speaker 1: you have with Dennis a lot that's sort of more

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Speaker 1: fluid or Uh, that's definitely a conversation that we have

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Speaker 1: with my fiance. Uh. You know, I think it's important

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Speaker 1: that we're on the same page religiously, and luckily we are.

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Speaker 1: You know, I'm sure it can work in other households

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Speaker 1: where you can be fluid and believe what you want,

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Speaker 1: but it really works for us to be on the

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Speaker 1: same page. So we're both Christians, and um, we plan

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Speaker 1: to raise her that way. Um, but I also just

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Speaker 1: want her to be raised, you know, like her name,

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Speaker 1: her name is Freya. Yeah, tell me about that, Tell

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Speaker 1: me about that. Where does the name come from? It's beautiful?

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Speaker 1: Thank you? Well, Okay, so me and him are both

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Speaker 1: d's and we wanted d names that that didn't really

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Speaker 1: land because we kept looking at stuff and we're like, okay,

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Speaker 1: d Well, it's hard to SAYD because can you call

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Speaker 1: each other D? Yeah? I got but it's like, okay,

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Speaker 1: Dunn this, you know, you say your name and I'll

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Speaker 1: say mine at the same time. If we land on

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Speaker 1: the same d names, and that's going to be it.

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Speaker 1: We never landed on the same name, and so he

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Speaker 1: was like, what's open up the pool? Two different letters?

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Speaker 1: I was like okay. So I had told him the

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Speaker 1: story about a young guy I met name Chosen, and

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Speaker 1: I was like, I like that. It just had presents

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Speaker 1: to his name the way he said it, and so

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Speaker 1: I was like, I want something powerful and um he

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Speaker 1: was like what about free? And I was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: that's so good. Good Man is so well with me.

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Speaker 1: So he started looking up different ways free could be,

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Speaker 1: you know, said or you know a name for it

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Speaker 1: and eat saw Freda and it's actually this Nordic goddess

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Speaker 1: who was like the goddess of love and beauty and

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Speaker 1: war and all that kind of good. Come on. So

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Speaker 1: we're like done. We were like this is it? And

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Speaker 1: did you have a easy pregnancy? Was it hard? Was

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Speaker 1: it like everything you thought and more? Did you feel okay?

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Speaker 1: I did feel good. I mean I had morning sickness

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Speaker 1: the first uh, you know, try master and then um,

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Speaker 1: things got easier. You know, you do start feeling like

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Speaker 1: you're getting your strength back and stuff like you can

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Speaker 1: do more, but they're always kind of was this like

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Speaker 1: tiredness that lingered over me, but I just kind of

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Speaker 1: leaned into it and I was like, I'm not going

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Speaker 1: to but for you, I know, but now I'm feeling it.

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Speaker 1: It's kind of a double edged sword because at first

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Speaker 1: I really enjoyed the pregnancy, like I ate what you

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Speaker 1: didn't do it? Yeah? Lord? I was like, I can't

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Speaker 1: tell my shoe can you do that? Then my pregnancy

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Speaker 1: did not go as planned, which is fine. My plan

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Speaker 1: was to go with whatever guy's plan was and okay

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Speaker 1: with that. So I wanted to go natural, um you know,

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Speaker 1: no epidural, no nothing, um and just see where it

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Speaker 1: takes me. And I had people say, oh, would you

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Speaker 1: do that? That's crazy, Like if you don't have to

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Speaker 1: deal with the pain, when I deal with the plane,

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Speaker 1: I was like, I want to experience all that. Motherhood

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Speaker 1: is like my thing. I want to I want to

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Speaker 1: be that Amazonian woman that's like, yeah, I did that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah you wanted to get into the Yeah. The Lord

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Speaker 1: was like no, so one that ended up happening. Girl

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Speaker 1: I ended up having to have an emergency C section

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Speaker 1: because Freya and maconium in her system, which mcconium is

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Speaker 1: basically when the baby poops inside their amniotic sect. So

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Speaker 1: she was in distress and therefore we both could be

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Speaker 1: in distress and we just had to make it happen.

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Speaker 1: It's interesting, I'm so glad to be talking to you

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Speaker 1: because we've we've done an episode on C sections in

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Speaker 1: the first season, but I actually can't remember if we've

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Speaker 1: really gone into detail on an emergency C section, which

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Speaker 1: sounds in my head it's like on Grey's Anatomy or

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Speaker 1: something like all of a sudden, things are beeping and

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Speaker 1: like people are running into the room, and all of

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Speaker 1: a sudden, a sort of peaceful labor vibe goes into

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Speaker 1: like def con for and it's really fucking scary and

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Speaker 1: you don't know what's happening. And that's when you know

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Speaker 1: that doctors are like such miracle workers. I once asked

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Speaker 1: my o B. I was like, how fast can you

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Speaker 1: get a baby out if there's trouble. She's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I can get a baby out, and like twenty seconds

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Speaker 1: or a minute and twenty seconds. I'm probably this is

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Speaker 1: now through telephone and in my dramatic actress brain, but

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Speaker 1: I think she said within like a minute and twenty

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Speaker 1: seconds she could have you cut open the baby out

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Speaker 1: and like everyone, okay, um was it? It was exactly

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Speaker 1: that horrifying scary It was of E R m H.

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Speaker 1: It started out really smooth and she was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: you haven't dilated with too cinames. I'm like, I've been

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Speaker 1: like and labor for like nine hours. What are you

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Speaker 1: talking about? And she was like, yeah, you haven't dilated.

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Speaker 1: Just go get something to eat or come back, go

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Speaker 1: home whatever. And like two minutes later she looks at

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Speaker 1: a monitor and the doctor doesn't really say much. She

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Speaker 1: just starts calling other nurses and doctors in and they

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Speaker 1: throw a oxygen mask on my face. They start throwing

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Speaker 1: ivy in my arm, and now I'm not joking. It

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Speaker 1: was almost about ten people in a room, a very

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Speaker 1: tiny room now watching a monitor and telling me to

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Speaker 1: stay calm when you just threw oxygen masks and ivy

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Speaker 1: and my arm and you're telling me that my child

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Speaker 1: isn't like her working like like they literally called it flatlining,

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Speaker 1: oh flat lining. When the heart rate goes like there's

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Speaker 1: no activity happening, right, So when you hear that, you

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Speaker 1: so I immediately started just praying and singing the gospel

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Speaker 1: song and I know you really did. I was taking

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Speaker 1: out the Oxen's like put it back. Oh, I was

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Speaker 1: singing Precious Lord. Where was Dennis? Is Dennis when Dennis

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Speaker 1: losing his mind? Like? Is he staying very calm for me?

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Speaker 1: My Dula was there who also worked in pediatric for

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Speaker 1: children who are in distress, so she knew what to do.

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Speaker 1: She was kind of a little more equipped than some

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Speaker 1: of the other nurses, so um, having someone to advocate

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Speaker 1: for me there was important too. But yeah, I just

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Speaker 1: was like, I gotta stay comfort. I've heard when I

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Speaker 1: have heard like friends who had emergency c sections, a

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Speaker 1: lot of them have said they were just afraid, Like

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Speaker 1: they felt very uninformed in the moment because I don't

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Speaker 1: know if you would even understand the medical terms anyway,

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Speaker 1: and so everything is just sort of happening around you. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: everything's happening around you. And I just ended up telling

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Speaker 1: the doctor when things calm down, because they ended up

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Speaker 1: getting the heart rate back up, and she's like, we're

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Speaker 1: just gonna monitor you for a little bit before we

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Speaker 1: go into the C section, and I said okay, and

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Speaker 1: I told her, I said, please let me know step

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Speaker 1: by step what is going to happen, because what happened

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Speaker 1: in there was unnecessary. Y'all. Just talk to me, communicate

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Speaker 1: with me what's going on, and I will stay calm.

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Speaker 1: Like for some women maybe that's not the case. You

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Speaker 1: hear too much information, you freak out, But for me,

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Speaker 1: I was like, I'm about to go onto a sixth

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Speaker 1: section that I had no intention of having right now,

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Speaker 1: so which is a major fucking surgery. And you're just like,

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Speaker 1: I just found eight nine layers in your body, like

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Speaker 1: I have apps right now. Okay, now tell me when

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Speaker 1: they finally so they get the heart rate back up

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Speaker 1: two stable, and then they say, does the doctor sort

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Speaker 1: of drop the bomb like we're going to do a

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Speaker 1: C section? We'll see. I'm gonna tell you the T.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I can't wait. I think it's important

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Speaker 1: to know the T. So the thing was I didn't

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Speaker 1: have the doctor that I was supposed to have, because

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Speaker 1: it's you know, if you don't know and you want

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Speaker 1: to be in my most likely you might not get

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Speaker 1: the doctor that you think, because it's just how it works, right.

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Speaker 1: So I didn't have the doctor, but thank god I

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Speaker 1: didn't and I love her. But the reason I'm say

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Speaker 1: I think god I didn't is because when the prior

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Speaker 1: before getting pregnant, my doctor kept hinting to me that

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Speaker 1: I might have pre aclampsia. She kept saying, pretty clampsy,

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Speaker 1: is pretty clamsy that, blah blah blah blah blah. And

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Speaker 1: I kept saying, I don't have it though there's no

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Speaker 1: signs of it. I don't have high blood pressure. I

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Speaker 1: don't have anything that's pre Clampsia is a it's basically

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Speaker 1: when you have high blood pressure that can be dangerous

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Speaker 1: to the mommy and the baby. Yes, and it's this

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Speaker 1: is very scared, like you don't want it, like they

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Speaker 1: don't want it. But people like, there are a lot

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Speaker 1: of cases and you can be three hundred pounds. You

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Speaker 1: could be perfect, doesn't thirty, It don't matter. You could

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Speaker 1: be so healthy, you could be not healthy. But it

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Speaker 1: kept bringing in my ears. She kept saying that it

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Speaker 1: might need to get um what was it called induced?

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Speaker 1: I didn't want to get induced, right, And then like

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Speaker 1: she just kept kind of like saying the good reasons

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Speaker 1: why it's okay to get a C section and all

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Speaker 1: the stuff, and I was like, I don't want it.

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Speaker 1: I don't wow. So all the doctor's appointment's fleeting up.

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Speaker 1: She some some of these phrases and catchphrases and words

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Speaker 1: had been floating around. They were floating around. But if

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Speaker 1: I would have had that doctor, I probably would not

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Speaker 1: have gotten that C section because I would have felt like, oh,

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Speaker 1: this whole time, she's been putting that on me, and

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Speaker 1: now she wants me to do this and saying this

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Speaker 1: an emergency. I ain't doing it. And thank god you

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Speaker 1: know this. This new doctor said, look, I want to

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Speaker 1: honor what you want to do. You want to do

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Speaker 1: this naturally. I want to help you do that, but

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Speaker 1: right now it's not looking like that's the best thing

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Speaker 1: for you. So I'm gonna let you hold out for

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Speaker 1: an hour. I think we can do that, and after that, girlfriend,

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Speaker 1: we need to come up with Plan B. And that's

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Speaker 1: what we did. And I'm so glad it worked out

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Speaker 1: that way because I just don't know if I would

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Speaker 1: have followed through that C section and how that would

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Speaker 1: have went down. Oh and how great. So you have

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Speaker 1: this hour where you kind of got less. You came

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Speaker 1: around to the idea and like felt more like you

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Speaker 1: were in control, in the know. Yeah, And I talked

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Speaker 1: to my dol about it, you know, and I love her.

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Speaker 1: My Da was really trying to say what did she say?

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Speaker 1: She kept being like, oh see, I think I'm seeing

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Speaker 1: some more activity on the monitor. Wouldn't happening on end?

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Speaker 1: Now tell me about that this C section was it?

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Speaker 1: Could you feel anything? You had already had an epidural

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Speaker 1: in or so they they did the spinal tap. Um.

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Speaker 1: But but again I told the doctor, I said, man,

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Speaker 1: tell me every step, and she coached me like the best,

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Speaker 1: like what's the best football team that what's oh my god,

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Speaker 1: you're asking Tom Brady, I don't know, yeah, one of those.

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Speaker 1: So you're getting fucking coached through like you're a goddamn quarterback.

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Speaker 1: That's like the Patriots in this we like the Patriots, right,

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Speaker 1: And she taught me through every step and they did

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Speaker 1: the spinal tap and I couldn't even feel it going

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Speaker 1: my back, and um, you know, but then all of

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Speaker 1: a sudden, you can't feel nothing, like everything is. You

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Speaker 1: just feel like a sixteen will truck is laying on

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Speaker 1: you because everything is so heavy. Yeah, you can't feel anything.

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Speaker 1: I had that feeling too. I had it, but I

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Speaker 1: had it. Yeah, I had it epidural like my bottom

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Speaker 1: half were just Remember my legs were like bricks. Like.

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Speaker 1: I was like, you can't lift them. They feel like

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Speaker 1: a billion pounds like and um. Then I you know,

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Speaker 1: I put on my playlist and the nurse held my

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Speaker 1: hand and I told her I'm just gonna keep my

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Speaker 1: eyes on you until didn't gets in the room because

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Speaker 1: I felt like I was gonna pass out, you know,

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Speaker 1: because I've never had any major surgery. And then the

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Speaker 1: important thing to remember is the aftercare. I think we

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Speaker 1: forget to take care of usself after because I literally

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Speaker 1: bounced up like I got this because you're so drugged

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Speaker 1: up and you're like I can move that second acirl?

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Speaker 1: Fight are you so sore? And just like and they're

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Speaker 1: making you walk around the hospital and you can't even

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Speaker 1: sit up. You can't get on the toilet. It's a disaster. Know,

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Speaker 1: You're like, what is happening? What? Oh my gosh, it

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Speaker 1: was crazy? Did they let you hold the baby? What's

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Speaker 1: the deal? Like? How would they better give me my baby?

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Speaker 1: And how is your here? So did it take like

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Speaker 1: six weeks? How long until you I mean you said

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Speaker 1: you're still struggling. Oh, yeah, the app thing is fucked

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Speaker 1: for a while. So I was on a commit having

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Speaker 1: an emergency C section for eight weeks. So that's two

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Speaker 1: months of not really doing much and it was hard.

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Speaker 1: To be honest, I gained sixty pounds being pregnant, and um,

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Speaker 1: it's been the challenge because I had kind of branded

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Speaker 1: myself and came into this world as like miss body

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Speaker 1: Positivity and like you were on the cover of Shape, right,

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Speaker 1: was on the cover of Coming. I mean I literally

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Speaker 1: had a sixteen seventeen ft billboard in Times Square in

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Speaker 1: two seventeen and me and underwear. I remember this so

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Speaker 1: well and I loved it. Like I was like yes,

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Speaker 1: because I maybe I was doing wait or some on

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Speaker 1: Broadway then, and so I think I was maybe walking

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Speaker 1: through Times Square, but like I just remember seeing your

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Speaker 1: fucking hot body in brawny panties. I mean I was like,

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Speaker 1: this is like, this is the best shout ever. Tell

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Speaker 1: me about how your body awareness and your body confidence

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Speaker 1: has changed, shifted or every day it can feel different,

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Speaker 1: you know at first because your stomach doesn't go down

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Speaker 1: right way. For me, I was in this like glorious

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Speaker 1: stage of wow, I just had a baby. This is

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Speaker 1: kind of cool, you know, like, look what my body

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Speaker 1: did is changed because of this miracle, magical moment that

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Speaker 1: I've had. And then after a while, when that big

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Speaker 1: belly goes down and it ain't really going down as

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Speaker 1: much as you wanted to go down side now I was.

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Speaker 1: I didn't get down to add anything until two years.

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Speaker 1: After years, and I think anyone else is complete fucking bullshit,

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Speaker 1: Like when you hear like how Hollywood gets their body back,

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Speaker 1: give me a fun sorry about it. First of all,

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Speaker 1: why it's so important what you're doing this podcast is

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Speaker 1: so important because you we do not get saturated with that.

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Speaker 1: We don't hear it takes two years. We don't hear you. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm still you don't hear that. And I had absolutely

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Speaker 1: no ambition to work out or move my body for

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Speaker 1: at least a year or a year and a half,

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Speaker 1: and then it wasn't until I quit breastfeeding. I didn't

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Speaker 1: feel like myself until my son was a year and

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Speaker 1: a half. And I didn't get some sort of resemblance

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Speaker 1: of what my body once was until two years after

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Speaker 1: that's my story. Um, that's insane. I mean, oh wait,

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Speaker 1: I think Hi, free guys, we're very lucky on this

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Speaker 1: episode of Katie's Crib that the beautiful, one and only

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Speaker 1: Freya has graced us with her presence. Oh my gosh,

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Speaker 1: she's smiling and I my heart just stopped. How are

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Speaker 1: you breastfeeding? Did you breastfeed? How is that journey? I'm

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Speaker 1: breace feeding, um, and I don't get that much, to

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Speaker 1: be honest, one of these women out here, it's like

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Speaker 1: such a such milk. I guess so angry at women

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Speaker 1: who like just inst a story their refrigerators and freezers

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Speaker 1: that are chock full. I'm like, dude, may not be sensitive,

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Speaker 1: like that's not every woman is a milkmaid. Like, no,

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Speaker 1: it's hard. Yesterday she looked at me bumping. She said,

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Speaker 1: that's all he got, little mama. Yeah, And you can't

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Speaker 1: say ship like that because we're it's like you're in

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Speaker 1: the hormonal spot where if you get an ounce, you're

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Speaker 1: like I made that, Like that's that's it, and that's

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Speaker 1: that's enough right now. Like just it's a miracle that

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Speaker 1: any of it's happening at all. Did you, um always

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Speaker 1: want to breastfeed with it something you really fought for.

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Speaker 1: That was the first thing I asked the I was

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Speaker 1: just like, yeah, I presonator now. And to be honest, Katie,

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Speaker 1: that was the one class at all the classes I

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Speaker 1: did not take and I should have. And and I

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Speaker 1: put that girl in my breast and the first time

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh cool. But we struggled to latch

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Speaker 1: her because she had such a hard bite. How these

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Speaker 1: nurses would come by and put their finger in her

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Speaker 1: mouth to feel how hard she was biting and how

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Speaker 1: she was latching, and they're like, this is not normal,

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Speaker 1: how hard she was. I hurt so bad. I felt

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Speaker 1: it like a vein in my back. It was like

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Speaker 1: like sharp pains in my back. And I had to

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Speaker 1: stop at one point, which I think stopped how much

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Speaker 1: milk that was producing because my nipple fell off. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: my nipple fell up to I lost nipple. And I'll

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Speaker 1: tell you this stuff. I don't think we are given

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Speaker 1: an education at all in terms of breast meeting. I

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Speaker 1: feel like everyone it should be included an insurance that

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Speaker 1: a lactation specialist comes to your house, like three visits

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Speaker 1: or whatever, because you even if you had taken that class.

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Speaker 1: I have news for you. Read kid and Mouth latches different.

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Speaker 1: It's such a personal thing of how it works for you.

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Speaker 1: I had the worst time breastfeeding and I had postpartum

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Speaker 1: depression and I felt like such a failure because breastfeeding

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Speaker 1: was so hard for me. So you had postpartum depression too, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I have. Um. You know, it's crazy because I've always

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Speaker 1: been mis positive and I'm still that. It's very important

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Speaker 1: what you speak over your life. And so I kept

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Speaker 1: saying I don't have it. I'm good I have And

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Speaker 1: then I had to just admit to myself, no, you

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Speaker 1: have this girl, You're going through it. And it wasn't

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Speaker 1: just necessarily crying out all the time and things like that.

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Speaker 1: It just was my like mood. I just feel so

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Speaker 1: down sometimes, you know, and one minute it could just

396
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Speaker 1: be so exhausted and trying to like keep up with

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Speaker 1: the house, find a babysitter, you know, cook dinner for

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Speaker 1: your partner, you know, make dinner for yourself, walk to

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Speaker 1: stay in shape. But whether ain't helping you with nothing.

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Speaker 1: It's raiding. So I've cried inside too, just everything, you know.

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Speaker 1: But then I did counseling therapy and that has been

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Speaker 1: so helpful. And my therapist said something that was so

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Speaker 1: valuable to me. She said, what's happening is you were

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Speaker 1: mourning your old self. You were never gonna be that

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Speaker 1: person again, that girl that was on that billboard that

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Speaker 1: was miss thaying sexy hot. Not that you will never

407
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Speaker 1: be sexy the way you want to be again, but

408
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Speaker 1: you'll never be that girl again. And and it's okay.

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Speaker 1: And the person you are becoming and the person that

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Speaker 1: you are, has so much more value and it's such

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Speaker 1: a rock star. So embrace her right now, and then

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Speaker 1: you'll be able to layer those things that you miss

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Speaker 1: about the old person back into your life. But you

414
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Speaker 1: ain't never gonna be that twenty eight year old girl.

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Speaker 1: But you're not. And that's okay. Your body will be different,

416
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Speaker 1: but it'll be fucking awesome. Like there are things I

417
00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:08,360
Speaker 1: used to hate about my figure that I don't even

418
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Speaker 1: think about anymore, and then there are new things about

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Speaker 1: like it's just different. But I think the thing that

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Speaker 1: messed me up, Katie, is that you hear all these

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Speaker 1: stories about oh breastbane, I lost so much way. Oh

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Speaker 1: my god, it's like breastbane that gay so so did

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Speaker 1: I Okay, I have a few of these asshole lovely

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Speaker 1: friends who I love with all my heart, who are

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Speaker 1: thinner than they've ever been for having a baby. That

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Speaker 1: is not most women. Okay, that is a handful. That

427
00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:41,680
Speaker 1: was not my story. I had never had bigger boobs

428
00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:44,840
Speaker 1: like that, Like, I just had never even to my

429
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:47,560
Speaker 1: point now said what is this? Seems like isn't that

430
00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:51,480
Speaker 1: a good thing? I'm like, I don't know, no, And

431
00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:54,000
Speaker 1: also like it took me years before I could like

432
00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:57,159
Speaker 1: think of my boobs as like a sexual thing again,

433
00:24:57,200 --> 00:24:59,400
Speaker 1: Like I'm like, oh God, like, don't even go near

434
00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:02,640
Speaker 1: them like a that's like absolutely not until they were

435
00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:04,560
Speaker 1: my own again. I think it was like a year

436
00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:06,960
Speaker 1: after I had stopped breastfeeding. Oh my gosh, you guys,

437
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:08,879
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Free I just gave me face again and

438
00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:14,440
Speaker 1: I'm just lost. She is so incredibly cute. Um. Did

439
00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:16,520
Speaker 1: you end up having to go on stuff for postpartum

440
00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:19,800
Speaker 1: depression or was it just therapy? Now I've chosen not

441
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:24,120
Speaker 1: to because I don't think it's that necessary. Um, But

442
00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:27,200
Speaker 1: the therapy I'm very consistent with. I do about once

443
00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:30,960
Speaker 1: a week going and that really is just helping me

444
00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:35,639
Speaker 1: a lot. How are you feeling about everything now, oh girl,

445
00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:39,560
Speaker 1: I mean really trying to take this time, you know,

446
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:43,280
Speaker 1: being that you kind of in a way, you have

447
00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:46,520
Speaker 1: to get me back in shape, you know, work out,

448
00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:49,680
Speaker 1: work out every day and eat right. But I feel

449
00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:52,040
Speaker 1: like this is gonna be over and I'm still not

450
00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:55,399
Speaker 1: going to be happy like physically, and I have to

451
00:25:56,240 --> 00:26:00,840
Speaker 1: just and grace that. I guess you said it's gonna

452
00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:03,359
Speaker 1: take time. It does. And then I just had a

453
00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:07,080
Speaker 1: whole human being, which is a privilege because there's so

454
00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:11,679
Speaker 1: many women that struggle to do that daily and it's hard,

455
00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:15,480
Speaker 1: you know, and to be what I'm sure you've heard

456
00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:18,840
Speaker 1: a hundred times, um, but it's to be kind to

457
00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:24,960
Speaker 1: myself and that is a daily practice. Are there things

458
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:27,200
Speaker 1: that you do that are like saving you right now?

459
00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:28,640
Speaker 1: For me, it was like if I could just take

460
00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:33,160
Speaker 1: a fucking shower, that was like such a wind, girl. Yeah,

461
00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:37,560
Speaker 1: taking a shower, Um, really that's been a big one

462
00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:43,920
Speaker 1: impression my teeth huge, it's a huge wind. That's huge, huge,

463
00:26:44,359 --> 00:26:47,480
Speaker 1: I'm telling you there. That's that's like all of a sudden,

464
00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:49,720
Speaker 1: life gets very very simple when you have a baby

465
00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:52,720
Speaker 1: and you're dealing with postpartum depression, you're dealing with hormones,

466
00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:55,440
Speaker 1: you're dealing with body image stuff. You're dealing with breastfeeding.

467
00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:59,760
Speaker 1: The simple things of like eat a meal, brush your teeth,

468
00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:05,920
Speaker 1: take a shower. It's like they're just like huge, nice

469
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:10,760
Speaker 1: for to get that gas out, that's what you want. Um,

470
00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:14,320
Speaker 1: Are you a meditator or like a yoga person? I wasn't,

471
00:27:14,359 --> 00:27:17,200
Speaker 1: I like always trying to be, but now I wish

472
00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:21,320
Speaker 1: when you've been pregnant. Girl couldn't tie my shoe, I

473
00:27:21,359 --> 00:27:24,760
Speaker 1: couldn't bend over, I could barely get in the car.

474
00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:27,480
Speaker 1: I mean, and I loved it for many of it,

475
00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:30,000
Speaker 1: but now I'm like, I need my flaceability back. I

476
00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:35,280
Speaker 1: mean stretching, but not Yoga is not really my thing.

477
00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:40,000
Speaker 1: It's too slow for me. It's too like I like pilates,

478
00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:45,159
Speaker 1: though polates was fun when I did that, but no,

479
00:27:45,320 --> 00:27:49,080
Speaker 1: I just get outside, walk two miles a day, three

480
00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:52,119
Speaker 1: if I'm filling it with Frea or by yourself with Freya.

481
00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:56,720
Speaker 1: And again like my therapist, she's wonderful, she told me

482
00:27:57,240 --> 00:28:01,280
Speaker 1: when I go on my walks, to affirm my daughter.

483
00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:03,879
Speaker 1: So that's what I've been doing. I put on some

484
00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:06,280
Speaker 1: good music, you know, my walks I just look at

485
00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:09,399
Speaker 1: her and say, you're great, good girl, You're smart, and

486
00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:13,280
Speaker 1: you fine girl. You're gonna be so kind to people,

487
00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:15,960
Speaker 1: like just tell her, you know what I want to

488
00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:19,920
Speaker 1: put into who she is. Um. So that's been good

489
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:22,720
Speaker 1: to like it to spend time with her. Did you

490
00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:24,960
Speaker 1: feel connected to her right away when you were dealing

491
00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:30,359
Speaker 1: with your postpartum depression? Did? I sept from the minute

492
00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:33,439
Speaker 1: she came out. But I mean there are moments that

493
00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:38,640
Speaker 1: I just want to take a break. A break is yeah.

494
00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:41,280
Speaker 1: I finally admitted to Adam the other day. I said

495
00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:43,320
Speaker 1: to Adam, you know, I'm so lucky that I have

496
00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:46,720
Speaker 1: this job where, like you on Orange and Black, like

497
00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:49,760
Speaker 1: I'm in the ensemble. So there are weeks where I

498
00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:51,840
Speaker 1: work really really hard, and there are weeks where I don't.

499
00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:55,120
Speaker 1: And it's sort of the best thing because there are

500
00:28:55,200 --> 00:28:57,120
Speaker 1: days where I'm so full on mom and there are

501
00:28:57,160 --> 00:28:58,800
Speaker 1: days where I have to leave before he's out and

502
00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:02,440
Speaker 1: I come home from shoe yes when when he's already asleep,

503
00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:04,440
Speaker 1: and I told him, I say, I fucking miss that.

504
00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:08,240
Speaker 1: I really miss working and I really miss like not

505
00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:10,360
Speaker 1: seeing him for one or two days a week because

506
00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:12,080
Speaker 1: it just really makes me miss him. Now. Look, my

507
00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:14,200
Speaker 1: kids a toddler right now. So ship is so real,

508
00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:17,400
Speaker 1: but um in a different way than what you're dealing

509
00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:19,560
Speaker 1: with being a stay at home mom. This is the

510
00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:23,920
Speaker 1: longest I've experienced it, and it's UM. I like such

511
00:29:25,320 --> 00:29:28,560
Speaker 1: such respect and like props to every women woman that

512
00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:31,040
Speaker 1: either makes this choice because they want to or they

513
00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:34,720
Speaker 1: have to either one. But how did you and guaranting

514
00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:37,240
Speaker 1: it at the States after oh my god, husband was

515
00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:42,560
Speaker 1: doing it? You can, yes we did. My husband and

516
00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:45,120
Speaker 1: I did waitress together. For you guys listening, I think

517
00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:46,440
Speaker 1: allot of you know, but if you didn't, we did

518
00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:48,840
Speaker 1: Broadway together. And I had a seven month old and

519
00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:56,280
Speaker 1: I was still really really struggling with UM identity stuff,

520
00:29:56,320 --> 00:29:59,880
Speaker 1: and I was still very much overweight from how I

521
00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:03,760
Speaker 1: feel good about myself UM, and I was really worried

522
00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:08,240
Speaker 1: on being on stage because I um still hadn't really

523
00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:10,600
Speaker 1: gotten control of my bladdery yet and I was like

524
00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:12,840
Speaker 1: fucking horrified that someone was going to throw me around

525
00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:15,080
Speaker 1: the stage and I was just going to like pee everywhere.

526
00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:17,320
Speaker 1: My first two weeks of my Broadway debut, I was

527
00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:21,560
Speaker 1: literally in depends, like I was I was, I was

528
00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:25,840
Speaker 1: in depends because I was just I was scared. I

529
00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:30,720
Speaker 1: was so scared. It's come back around, thank god. Um,

530
00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:35,240
Speaker 1: but you know it was awful, Like I every single night,

531
00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:39,600
Speaker 1: I um handed my kid off to our nanny and

532
00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:41,560
Speaker 1: I only put him to bed one night a week,

533
00:30:41,560 --> 00:30:44,760
Speaker 1: and it was really, really um a struggle because I

534
00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:48,600
Speaker 1: felt for the first time, like I really really wanted

535
00:30:48,640 --> 00:30:50,360
Speaker 1: to be in two places at once and that that

536
00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:53,280
Speaker 1: was not possible. Do you feel like your child felt

537
00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:58,160
Speaker 1: no good? Okay, I say this only because I was

538
00:30:58,160 --> 00:31:01,840
Speaker 1: a nanny for like ten years, but it's definitely hard,

539
00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:04,040
Speaker 1: and we say it on this podcast all the time,

540
00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:07,680
Speaker 1: Like I don't really believe you can have it all.

541
00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:10,080
Speaker 1: Like I think any day where you're succeeding as a

542
00:31:10,120 --> 00:31:12,840
Speaker 1: mom is a day where you're not succeeding at work.

543
00:31:12,840 --> 00:31:14,400
Speaker 1: And the day where you're on set till late at

544
00:31:14,480 --> 00:31:16,200
Speaker 1: night is the day you're not putting your kid to sleep.

545
00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:17,920
Speaker 1: And that's just like you sort of hope at the

546
00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:20,000
Speaker 1: end of the year that it's sort of equals out.

547
00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:23,600
Speaker 1: I just think like if you are finding caregivers or

548
00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:26,680
Speaker 1: if it's your parents or your partner or an auntie

549
00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:28,680
Speaker 1: or whatever the funk it is, and that person loves

550
00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:30,440
Speaker 1: on your kid. The more people that love your kid,

551
00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:35,160
Speaker 1: the better. And when are you in, Dennis, Like, how

552
00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:38,560
Speaker 1: are you guys doing? Are you even talking about wedding

553
00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:42,000
Speaker 1: talk or you like, we need to get through this situation. Like,

554
00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:48,760
Speaker 1: I mean, we were talking about wedding talk until this happened. Um,

555
00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:51,800
Speaker 1: you know, and we're all at home, so you know,

556
00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:56,080
Speaker 1: I've had girlfriends have to cancel their wedding ione their weddings.

557
00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:59,240
Speaker 1: So luckily for us, we were we're never in a rutch,

558
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:04,360
Speaker 1: and so we've actually been doing merrit or counseling to

559
00:32:04,480 --> 00:32:07,600
Speaker 1: make sure that we just set the foundation and that's

560
00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:10,360
Speaker 1: good to go because I know this is my husband,

561
00:32:10,480 --> 00:32:12,840
Speaker 1: don't give me wrong, and I know i'm his wife,

562
00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:16,000
Speaker 1: but I think it's important to lay down the foundation

563
00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:19,440
Speaker 1: so that when we're in this relationship and things get hard,

564
00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:23,320
Speaker 1: will have the tools to communicate well with each other,

565
00:32:23,520 --> 00:32:27,280
Speaker 1: especially they don't want a child into the meets. Yeah,

566
00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:30,120
Speaker 1: so that's what we've been doing. I'm just so impressed

567
00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:34,440
Speaker 1: by you and your like ability to go for outside help.

568
00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:37,000
Speaker 1: I think we've found a lot on this podcast that's

569
00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:38,800
Speaker 1: so hard for women to do. To make it seem

570
00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:41,560
Speaker 1: like they've got everything together or that's the thing. We're

571
00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:44,280
Speaker 1: supposed to be fed. And if you look like you

572
00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:46,520
Speaker 1: might not, or you ask for someone for help, you

573
00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:49,960
Speaker 1: might feel shamed about it. But I'm just so impressed

574
00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:51,840
Speaker 1: by you that you've got therapy when you need it.

575
00:32:52,120 --> 00:32:54,320
Speaker 1: I'm a huge I've been therapy for ten years, and

576
00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:56,840
Speaker 1: that you and your husband have like an outside person

577
00:32:56,880 --> 00:32:59,840
Speaker 1: to talk through all the stress of a kid, because

578
00:32:59,840 --> 00:33:03,960
Speaker 1: it does, I mean, it takes a toll, especially like

579
00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:08,120
Speaker 1: with what we do. You know, in this industry, it

580
00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:12,640
Speaker 1: really is not set up to rust to win as couples.

581
00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:15,760
Speaker 1: I think they're so looking for that story of like

582
00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:20,840
Speaker 1: see another divorce or you know, such a such a

583
00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:24,080
Speaker 1: such steped out of their marriage or something. And I

584
00:33:24,160 --> 00:33:27,520
Speaker 1: don't want that. It's not worth it to me, you know,

585
00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:30,320
Speaker 1: to be a part of Hollywood. I don't want to that.

586
00:33:30,880 --> 00:33:34,440
Speaker 1: I want my family to be tight, great, great mood.

587
00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:38,880
Speaker 1: I just think you're amazing. I think you're inspiring as all.

588
00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:43,040
Speaker 1: How um, any last bits of advice to women who

589
00:33:43,080 --> 00:33:47,920
Speaker 1: are maybe pregnant or they just had a baby. Oh man,

590
00:33:48,840 --> 00:33:52,760
Speaker 1: I just say, be kind to yourself and go with

591
00:33:52,880 --> 00:33:56,720
Speaker 1: the flow. And that's in every stage. Whether you're trying

592
00:33:56,720 --> 00:33:59,520
Speaker 1: to come up with your birth plan, you really got

593
00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:02,800
Speaker 1: to go with the flow, you know, Or if you're

594
00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:06,040
Speaker 1: trying to have a baby, go with the flow. Well

595
00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:08,920
Speaker 1: she had a baby. Go with the flow. When did

596
00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:12,200
Speaker 1: you get any weight? Go? What'ss all like? You don't

597
00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:14,600
Speaker 1: get too caught up in what you think things are

598
00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:18,520
Speaker 1: supposed to look like, because what they will be is

599
00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:22,400
Speaker 1: exactly what it's supposed to happen. And so just enjoy

600
00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:29,239
Speaker 1: the journey, um and be patient. Patients, patients, patients. You

601
00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:32,480
Speaker 1: are doing an amazing job, Danielle. You are. She's sitting

602
00:34:32,480 --> 00:34:35,240
Speaker 1: here talking to me giving motherly advice as she rocks

603
00:34:35,239 --> 00:34:38,440
Speaker 1: her beautiful baby on her chest with your headphones, and

604
00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:42,080
Speaker 1: you're doing it. You really are, and and it's really

605
00:34:42,600 --> 00:34:46,880
Speaker 1: insane circumstances that you are doing this in with quarantine

606
00:34:46,920 --> 00:34:50,440
Speaker 1: and coronavirus and it's scary. Thank you for taking time

607
00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:53,359
Speaker 1: out of your day. I'm so happy to see your

608
00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:58,320
Speaker 1: face and I'm so happy to me for you. Okay,

609
00:34:58,320 --> 00:35:04,160
Speaker 1: thank you, Danielle bro Us. Bye, Thank you guys so

610
00:35:04,239 --> 00:35:06,759
Speaker 1: much for listening to Katie's Crib. I just love that

611
00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:09,680
Speaker 1: episode and I will always remember the image of Danielle

612
00:35:09,719 --> 00:35:12,839
Speaker 1: singing gospel music in the room when she found out

613
00:35:12,880 --> 00:35:14,719
Speaker 1: she had to have an emergency C section. I love

614
00:35:14,760 --> 00:35:16,640
Speaker 1: her so much. I hope you got a toe out

615
00:35:16,680 --> 00:35:20,520
Speaker 1: of the episode. Remember to subscribe and follow Katie's Crib

616
00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:32,560
Speaker 1: on all the socials. You guys are awesome. Katie's Crib

617
00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:35,040
Speaker 1: is a production of Shonda land Audio in partnership with

618
00:35:35,080 --> 00:35:37,840
Speaker 1: I heart Radio. For more podcasts from Shonda land Audio,

619
00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:40,759
Speaker 1: visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you

620
00:35:40,760 --> 00:35:48,680
Speaker 1: listen to your favorite shows. Want to watch