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Speaker 1: Hi, Amber, Hilelah, Welcome to An Unlikely Affair. Bababe La

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Speaker 1: La Kent and my right hand Amber Childers. We are

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Speaker 1: podcasting for an Unlikely Affair live from.

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Speaker 2: Radio Row in San Francisco.

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Speaker 3: And I'm so thrilled to be here because I am

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Speaker 3: in my element. Like looking at all the fine mans,

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Speaker 3: I noticed.

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Speaker 2: We're not sharing a room. I'm not happy about that.

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Speaker 2: I was. I was a little bummed about it too,

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Speaker 2: But then I was like, I might come in for

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Speaker 2: a little two am snuggle. I guess I could have

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Speaker 2: some fun. Oh oh, I don't know. I like where

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Speaker 2: your head's at. There are some bodies. Ye, there's one

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Speaker 2: over there that I see. What two o'clock? I don't know.

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Speaker 2: How does the clock work twelve one two?

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Speaker 3: It's more of a three o'clock I see.

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Speaker 2: So we are going to do a Q and A today.

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Speaker 3: I'm super excited, you guys wrote in this is like

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Speaker 3: one of my most favorite things to do on the podcast.

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Speaker 3: I feel like we do all the time on untraditionally Laala,

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Speaker 3: but we have not done like a deep dive.

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Speaker 2: Q and A for an Unlikely Affair.

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Speaker 3: I've been dying to do this since the beginning. Really yes,

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Speaker 3: all right, well let's start. You want to pull them out,

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Speaker 3: all right?

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Speaker 2: So we have this little red, very cute box here.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I'm so excited. Okay, question number one,

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Speaker 2: Oh Lala, this is actually what was meant for you. Okay,

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Speaker 2: So I agreed that are you considering seeing a therapist

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Speaker 2: in twenty twenty six to work through trauma? You know?

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Speaker 3: And you know this woman and I spoke about this

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Speaker 3: woman on season ten of Banner Punk Rules. But therapy,

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Speaker 3: although I know that it's good for you, and I've

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Speaker 3: seen so many people benefit from it, and I'm not

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Speaker 3: saying I haven't seen a therapist since this moment, but

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Speaker 3: I notice that my guard is up in so many

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Speaker 3: different ways, whether it's men.

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Speaker 2: Friendships, therapists, that it's going to.

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Speaker 3: Take a very special therapist to be able to get

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Speaker 3: me to put my guard down, because at this point,

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Speaker 3: my guard up is like second nature, like you will

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Speaker 3: have done nothing wrong, there's no red flag to be seen,

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Speaker 3: and I just walk around with it up, which I

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Speaker 3: think you relate to some capacity. I'm not sure if

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Speaker 3: that question is wanting me to say yes. Is that

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Speaker 3: like an actual question or kind of like a hey,

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Speaker 3: you should get a therapist.

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Speaker 2: No, I think it's I personally from my perspective, if

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Speaker 2: if I can have a say on this, I think

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Speaker 2: you've done so much work on yourself just by living

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Speaker 2: and experiencing and feeling, and like therapy has been a

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Speaker 2: big part of my life for a long time. But

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Speaker 2: I feel like I'm in the same boat with you,

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Speaker 2: Like you're doing great. I think you're doing great, and

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Speaker 2: if something comes up, you need to address pen to paper.

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Speaker 2: That's how I I feel that way as well.

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Speaker 3: And also like I don't want a therapist that wants

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Speaker 3: to go back to my childhood.

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Speaker 2: It's like that's said and done.

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Speaker 3: I don't need to like relive certain things to get

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Speaker 3: like the past is the past.

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Speaker 2: Let's move forward.

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Speaker 3: So it is like dating, you have to find like

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Speaker 3: your your person.

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Speaker 2: Yes, one hundred percent. And if you start with a

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Speaker 2: new therapist, it's like you have to start all over

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Speaker 2: from the beginning. And like you were just saying I'm

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Speaker 2: gonna start over. We've we've we've addressed it, like we've

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Speaker 2: taken all the skeletons out of the closet and our

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Speaker 2: fears and our you know whatever, whatever you're working on,

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Speaker 2: in therapy, and it's like, okay, now you move forward,

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Speaker 2: move forward. Yeah, when it's the year of the horse,

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Speaker 2: you're galloping forward, little bitch.

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Speaker 3: But also we work with our sponsors a lot, so

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Speaker 3: that's another thing that like, no, is it therapy, No,

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Speaker 3: but it's someone who actually knows the ins and outs

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Speaker 3: of trauma and how to stay sober. They're long, long story, longer,

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Speaker 3: Like I'll think.

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Speaker 2: About it, all right, great, your turn, all right?

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Speaker 3: How do you move on from someone you have to

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Speaker 3: co parent with when you're not in contact?

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Speaker 2: How do I move on? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: How do you move on from someone you have to

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Speaker 3: co parent with when you're not in contact?

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Speaker 2: Ooh, it's a daily practice. It's like every twenty four hours,

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Speaker 2: I have to reset because I don't know what's gonna

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Speaker 2: come up. And you know, what I've been told in

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Speaker 2: a lot of books that I read, and you know

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Speaker 2: through my own experience, is that narcissists don't coparent with you.

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Speaker 2: They counterparent, right, So whatever you want to do, they're

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Speaker 2: automatically going to say no. And I again, like it's

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Speaker 2: not just like the mom's way or no way. I'm

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Speaker 2: all for hearing, but unfortunately, in my personal experience. I've

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Speaker 2: had a really difficult time co parenting. Maybe we have

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Speaker 2: a good you know, three days and I get super

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Speaker 2: hopeful and I'm like, oh wow, like we're on a

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Speaker 2: good track, and it's like bam, you forget, you know,

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Speaker 2: you get caught up in like oh maybe they're able

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Speaker 2: to actually, but yeah, you have hope exactly. So there's

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Speaker 2: no such thing for me personally in my journey in

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Speaker 2: in my divorce, there's no such thing as co parenting.

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Speaker 2: It's it's been a real challenge.

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Speaker 3: I share that with you. There's no such thing as

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Speaker 3: co parenting in my situation. I don't have the hope.

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Speaker 3: We haven't had a good day in a long time,

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Speaker 3: two separate households. I don't really tell him what's going

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Speaker 3: on at my house. He doesn't tell me what's going

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Speaker 3: on at his. Ocean just knows. The moment she enters

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Speaker 3: the door rules change. Yep, over there. I don't give

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Speaker 3: one fuck what you do. Yeah, the moment you step

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Speaker 3: into this house, you will be respectful, you will be kind,

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Speaker 3: You will say please, thank you, Like let's remember who.

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Speaker 2: Runs shit here? Me the captain.

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Speaker 3: Yes, you're the child, I am the mother. What I

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Speaker 3: say of what do you do over there? None of

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Speaker 3: my business?

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Speaker 2: Amen, sister Amen? All right. Next question for you, is

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Speaker 2: it hard for you that Amber gets along with her

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Speaker 2: ex husband and says positive things about him. How does

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Speaker 2: that make you feel? I've tried. I've tried, But how

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Speaker 2: does that make you feel? I don't know. I don't

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Speaker 2: think we've ever had that experience together, you and me, Like,

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Speaker 2: I don't think you've ever witnessed me. Actually, you know

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Speaker 2: what I say, I think not to answer your own

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Speaker 2: questions on the podcast? Do you talk pleasantly? I don't

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Speaker 2: care how anyone talks about him. People can be kind

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Speaker 2: about him and talk about the positive. And I think

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Speaker 2: the only thing that I've ever said that was positive

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Speaker 2: was he makes it really fun at his house. And

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Speaker 2: it's true he does. It's like Disneyland. Yeah. What I

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Speaker 2: have to say positive is he's doing the best he can.

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Speaker 2: Next question is the Laala she sees on TV? Like

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Speaker 2: the Laala she knows? Have you ever seen it? Well,

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Speaker 2: I've seen like maybe three minutes of a vander Pump saying,

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Speaker 2: and I do have to say, I saw you Laala

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Speaker 2: like very first season. So how many years ago was that?

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Speaker 3: I mean, that's been almost I think a decade, more

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Speaker 3: than a decade. My first season I was on, I

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Speaker 3: was twenty four, I'll be thirty six.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I mean it's definitely I I don't watch,

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Speaker 2: you know, the Valley Coming is obviously coming up for you,

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Speaker 2: and the last few seasons of vander Pump I don't watch.

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Speaker 2: So I don't know if that's a fair fair for

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Speaker 2: me to answer that question.

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Speaker 3: But what I like, you saw me get Lala in

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Speaker 3: the car today this morning on the way to San Francisco.

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Speaker 3: Really yeah, if that was if that was quote, that's.

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Speaker 2: The new version. Oh that's nothing, Okay, you're good. I

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Speaker 2: love who you are, you know, yes, And I love

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Speaker 2: that you have like a sharp tongue and you're you.

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Speaker 2: You could go to the mats, but you don't do

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Speaker 2: it in a way to me anyways. You do it

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Speaker 2: with passion and purpose. And I think a lot of

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Speaker 2: like the Laala that I've seen that would probably be

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Speaker 2: comparable to Laala on Vanner Pump is when we're dealing

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Speaker 2: with our personal lives and our kids, like I've seen,

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Speaker 2: you know, just twenty minutes ago.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, what I just doealt what twenty minutes ago? Yeah, constant.

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Speaker 2: I know, but you know how good it makes.

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Speaker 3: Me feel because you're someone who knows me, like in

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Speaker 3: the most vulnerable and raw state that I have really

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Speaker 3: ever been in, Like you were my one of my

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Speaker 3: first calls. I felt comfortable with you, knowing like when

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Speaker 3: I had left him where I was, I knew you'd

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Speaker 3: keep me safe. I think because you don't watch the show,

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Speaker 3: and you only know I mean real life, from real life.

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Speaker 2: You know me in my day to day and as

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Speaker 2: a mom, you come and stay with me.

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Speaker 3: But it makes me feel so good that just outside

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Speaker 3: you guys, and I won't get into details, but a

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Speaker 3: situation that involves my ex and I hung up the

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Speaker 3: phone and not with him, but went up to Amber

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Speaker 3: and was like, motherfucker, and she was like, I'm so sorry.

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Speaker 3: That reminds me of this time. And I just feel

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Speaker 3: like we see each other in a way that like

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Speaker 3: no one else is gonna see me.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I do. Yeah. What is their biggest worry

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Speaker 2: in their own life? Oh? I love this question. That's

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Speaker 2: a great question. I'm gonna talk. I have many fears.

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Speaker 2: They keep me up at night.

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Speaker 3: My biggest worry right now is that I'm going to

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Speaker 3: find a partner who I really really like.

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Speaker 2: I know where you're going with this. He wants a baby,

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Speaker 2: and I'm like, okay, let's do this. Where does that?

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Speaker 2: How will that affect so sad?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's my That's something that I worry about a lot. Now.

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Speaker 3: I'm not saying that I want a third baby. I'm

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Speaker 3: just thinking about the future and what could the future bring,

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Speaker 3: and like, where would that leave her feeling if her

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Speaker 3: older sibling had a dah and her younger sibling had

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Speaker 3: a dad and she did not.

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Speaker 2: That's really difficult. That's a really difficult one. Well, I

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Speaker 2: definitely think, what's your biggest worry? My son spots on

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Speaker 2: my face? Well, if we're going vanity, then I laundry.

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Speaker 2: I was like, wow, I was looking at myself in

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Speaker 2: the mirror, going oh my. And when you put makeup on,

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Speaker 2: like you were saying earlier, you I'm just not used

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Speaker 2: to wearing makeup like this, and it's I don't wear

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Speaker 2: it in Montana as much. But I know no. On

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Speaker 2: a very serious note, I've been really playing with the

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Speaker 2: idea of like the same God, we're always so parallel

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Speaker 2: in life. Is you worried about kids right now? Yes?

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Speaker 2: I told you, like, I'm worried that, like if I

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Speaker 2: decide if I meet someone right, because I've been dating

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Speaker 2: more age appropriate men who want children. What is age

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Speaker 2: appropriate for you, like four or five years older than me. Okay,

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Speaker 2: great that they're gonna want want kids. And I wouldn't

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Speaker 2: ever want to rob someone of that experience because I

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Speaker 2: think that is the greatest treasure and gift and experience

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Speaker 2: that you could a human experience you could have as

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Speaker 2: a woman, the miracle of being able to bring a

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Speaker 2: kid in the world and and and see and see you.

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Speaker 2: It's it's just so I have. It's like so weird.

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Speaker 2: It makes me get choked up when I think about it.

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Speaker 2: But I've always I want a boy. I feel like

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Speaker 2: I would be I want a son, So there would

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Speaker 2: be very specific things that I would have to do

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Speaker 2: in order to get a son.

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Speaker 3: Like this is not just a I'm sorry last week

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Speaker 3: because we both last night we were like, what if

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Speaker 3: we would have had boys?

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Speaker 2: Oh no, no, that was God, thank you God. No,

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Speaker 2: we have amazing girls.

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Speaker 3: And but you want the boy, like I want to

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Speaker 3: feel like your your life.

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Speaker 2: Is missing that. Yeah, there's like something nudging me in

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Speaker 2: my stomach that's like one more. And then I start

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Speaker 2: thinking about, oh my god, my experience, and I know

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Speaker 2: it would not be the same, because I definitely would

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Speaker 2: not have a baby with someone who was even remotely

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Speaker 2: even close to the experience I had the first go around.

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Speaker 2: I want, I really want a partner, and I want

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Speaker 2: to do it from the beginning, right. I want to

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Speaker 2: do it from like the time of inception, all the

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Speaker 2: way to the delivery room to like, you know, the

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Speaker 2: whole experience. I want that so badly, but I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I'm thirty seven. These eggs might be like, Yo, you're done, bitch,

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Speaker 2: you're done. You just never know well, and that makes

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Speaker 2: me sad too, I.

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Speaker 3: Say, I talk about it when I put makeup on

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Speaker 3: and I look at my under eyes, I'm like.

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Speaker 2: Oh you are cold. Stop No, not stop. I don't

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Speaker 2: even want to talk about what my eggs are gonna

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Speaker 2: start to look like. Oh. I take so much pride

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Speaker 2: in my ovaries. I know they're beautiful. They are beautiful

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Speaker 2: at every at every stage right next, But you're putting

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Speaker 2: yours back in. No I'm not.

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Speaker 3: They're all right here, okay, okay, I like this one.

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Speaker 3: Would they like to see each other find someone. What

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Speaker 3: celebrity would you set each other up with?

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Speaker 2: I would who I set you up? Like the type

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Speaker 2: of guy?

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Speaker 3: Okay, like like a what's that guy's name? From Fucking

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Speaker 3: the Motorcycle Show, Sons of Anarchy, Charlie Hunnoh my gosh.

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Speaker 2: Who's the hearty guy?

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Speaker 3: His last name's Hardy, Tom Hardy.

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Speaker 2: I see you with like that. Oh I love that

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Speaker 2: you and me both that.

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Speaker 3: Is a couple I could masturbate to. One percent. I

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Speaker 3: would masturbate to you and Tom Hardy or Charlie Hunham.

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Speaker 2: That's why I see you. Well, can someone make that happen?

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Speaker 2: I think they're both married. They probably aren't. If they are,

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Speaker 2: then then I don't. I don't, But I.

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Speaker 3: See that for you, and yes, I do want to

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Speaker 3: see you find someone because I think you deserve that,

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Speaker 3: and likewise, I think you deserve that too.

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Speaker 2: So percent an athlete for you one really, Yes, you

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Speaker 2: need someone that's gonna wake your ass up at five

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Speaker 2: am and be like, babe, corn, we're going running. Like

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Speaker 2: I see that because there's like there's and selfishly there's

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Speaker 2: someone on the clippers. Cool uh kwaii cool? Wait? Oh

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Speaker 2: my god, I'm fucking butchering his name. Wait, hold on,

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna pull up a picture. What you want a

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Speaker 2: clippers roster? You won't be disappointed. Here you go look

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Speaker 2: at Oh come on, I know you know him. No,

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Speaker 2: I don't know him. If I did, I would be

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Speaker 2: making phone calls right now. Okay, you will get it

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Speaker 2: together and guess what it's in LA so you wouldn't

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Speaker 2: have to pick up and leave.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, he's very hot. I don't know about me with

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Speaker 3: an athlete, though I do.

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Speaker 2: I see it. I picture my heart being hurt a

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Speaker 2: lot with that. But the right one, okay, the right one.

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Speaker 2: They're not all bad? Are your daughters close? E? With

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Speaker 2: the age difference? Oh of course?

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Speaker 3: Oh my daughter Ocean loves Riley. But you know what,

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Speaker 3: I know how it's going to end. Riley's gonna get

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Speaker 3: to the age where she like has a car and

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Speaker 3: she's gonna want to go off with her friends. And

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Speaker 3: that's when I worry, because you know, right now, the

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Speaker 3: reason I get her to go over to the other

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Speaker 3: house is because Riley's there.

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Speaker 2: I don't think that's gonna happen. Riley takes pride, you guys, remember,

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Speaker 2: Riley's like a little Jewish grandmother. She wants to take care.

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Speaker 2: She like looks forward to seeing ocean and taking care

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Speaker 2: of ocean. And I don't ever seeing that they have

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Speaker 2: a bond that is so beautiful, so beautiful and just

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Speaker 2: like London and Riley. So there was a stage where

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Speaker 2: they wouldn't stop fighting and I was like, I don't

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Speaker 2: know how I'm gonna get through this. They literally were

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Speaker 2: just at each other's necks. And now I slowly see

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Speaker 2: them connecting and different, like Riley just has like a

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Speaker 2: little new boyfriend boyfriend. I can't even say it. The

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Speaker 2: words literally cannot come out of my mouth. Is that

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Speaker 2: her first boyfriend ever? Yes? Do you remember your first boyfriend? Yes?

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Speaker 2: Me too? Third grade?

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Speaker 3: I think I was like Taylor, that's curious school picture around.

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Speaker 2: Oh and so you know it's funny. I asked Ridley

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Speaker 2: the other day. She goes, no, we're just dating. And

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Speaker 2: I said, well, what does that mean dating? I said,

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Speaker 2: do you guy is dating? At that age? I said,

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Speaker 2: do you guys hold hands and you guys walk each

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Speaker 2: other to class and then like hug and then each

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Speaker 2: go you know, because that's what we used to do.

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Speaker 2: And She's like no, And I was like, okay, do

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Speaker 2: you do you kiss? I was setting her up for

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Speaker 2: this one. I was like, oh, do you kiss? And

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Speaker 2: she's like, ew no, mom, I okay, well what does

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Speaker 2: that mean? She goes, It just means that we're dating.

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Speaker 2: And I was like, do you sit with them at lunch?

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Speaker 2: And she's like no, And I was like, okay, then

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Speaker 2: you know what. I'm good.

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Speaker 3: Then it is dating. At that age, you guys are together.

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Speaker 3: You don't look at each other or talk to each other.

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Speaker 3: It's awkward when they passed.

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Speaker 2: And by the way, they don't call each other boyfriend.

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Speaker 2: Well she does now, but in the beginning, it's like

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Speaker 2: you ask, will you be my crush? Oh? That's what

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Speaker 2: they How old were you with your first boyfriend? I

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Speaker 2: was probably like eighth or ninth grade. Okay, yeah, that's

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Speaker 2: like a real boyfriend. When did you lose your virginity?

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Speaker 2: Do you remember? Like what thirty seven? When? Really you can't?

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Speaker 3: No?

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Speaker 2: No, no, I will. I think I was seventeen me too, really? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, have you ever done anal? No? Neither.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god. Now I see the similarities. They're all

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Speaker 2: coming out. They're all there. Oh my god. Okay, any

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Speaker 2: idea who shall not be named feels about your friendship.

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Speaker 2: He's I don't think he loves it. I don't think

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Speaker 2: he loves it, but I love it. You know what,

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Speaker 2: he should be counting his blessings. You know what.

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Speaker 3: Anybody, any normal person would be like, how amazing is this?

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Speaker 3: Like my two baby mom must get along with each other.

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Speaker 2: This is great. You have to remember we're not dealing

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Speaker 2: with someone like that. Nope, nope.

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Speaker 3: So but again, like I don't really think much about

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Speaker 3: what he's thinking, Like I don't really care. Yeah, I

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Speaker 3: don't really care. And I can tell that you feel

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Speaker 3: like the hands, the grip around your neck has been released.

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Speaker 2: It has I feel that from you.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you guys, thank you so much for listening to

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Speaker 3: another episode of An Unlikely Affair with La Lakhent and

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Speaker 3: Amber Childers.

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Speaker 2: We're gonna catch you Thursday. Bye,