WEBVTT - "MY SISTER VANISHED" 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:04.880 Hello, Hey, hey, Lyle, good to talk to you. This 0:00:04.960 --> 0:00:05.840 is this is Dan. 0:00:07.280 --> 0:00:07.520 Dan. 0:00:07.640 --> 0:00:13.200 How's it going, man, Yeah, it's going all right. I 0:00:13.240 --> 0:00:16.120 mean I called in to talk to you about something specific, 0:00:16.160 --> 0:00:20.079 you know, man, Basically, Uh, I've got an a strange 0:00:20.079 --> 0:00:23.840 sister if I haven't spoken to for about seven years, man. 0:00:24.120 --> 0:00:27.720 And I used to follow her social media just to 0:00:27.760 --> 0:00:30.120 make sure, you know, she's she's healthy and alive, and 0:00:30.280 --> 0:00:32.960 she posts pictures with her friends and stuff, and you know, 0:00:33.159 --> 0:00:36.600 she went she went dark about about six months ago. 0:00:37.320 --> 0:00:42.000 And uh, you know, since we haven't spoken to each 0:00:42.040 --> 0:00:44.720 other for seven years, we've we've only texted. I mean, 0:00:44.760 --> 0:00:49.639 I I don't know what she's doing. She doesn't even 0:00:49.640 --> 0:00:52.760 give her a dress house anybody. But I guess I'm 0:00:52.760 --> 0:00:54.880 going to ahead of myself. But she moved across the 0:00:54.920 --> 0:00:58.480 country to La to become a musician slash actor seven 0:00:58.560 --> 0:01:02.400 years ago when she was eighteen. And you know, that's 0:01:02.520 --> 0:01:05.000 that's why I haven't spoken to her. She just doesn't 0:01:05.000 --> 0:01:09.600 talk to her family anymore. And anyway, she went dark 0:01:09.720 --> 0:01:13.600 on social media, and I'm thinking I'm thinking about trying 0:01:13.640 --> 0:01:17.520 to find her just to make sure she's alive. 0:01:17.560 --> 0:01:25.440 Still, when is the last time that you talked to her. 0:01:24.760 --> 0:01:27.080 On voice or do text messages count? 0:01:27.760 --> 0:01:27.960 Yeah? 0:01:28.000 --> 0:01:29.840 Text tech text, I would say. 0:01:29.640 --> 0:01:35.640 Text count, all right, Yeah, so texts twenty nineteen, we 0:01:35.959 --> 0:01:39.520 spoke around my birthday on text messages, just you know, 0:01:39.600 --> 0:01:44.120 she said she was doing well. She was substitute teaching 0:01:44.160 --> 0:01:46.720 at a school, which is kind of kind of weird 0:01:47.480 --> 0:01:54.720 for somebody who doesn't really have any education backgrounds. And yeah, 0:01:54.760 --> 0:01:57.120 she was doing all right otherwise. And you know at 0:01:57.120 --> 0:02:00.400 that time, she had trouble making the rent, so I 0:02:00.480 --> 0:02:04.480 sent her. I sent her three thousand dollars to hold 0:02:04.480 --> 0:02:04.840 her over. 0:02:05.520 --> 0:02:06.880 Really, you sent her money? 0:02:09.680 --> 0:02:13.840 Yeah, Yeah, we grew up poor. So I was Our 0:02:13.840 --> 0:02:16.160 mother died when I was fourteen and she was ten, 0:02:16.480 --> 0:02:21.600 and I took that and studied. I studied computer security, 0:02:21.639 --> 0:02:24.640 got into hacking, went to work for a tech firm 0:02:24.639 --> 0:02:29.120 after college, and like, so I could I could afford 0:02:29.160 --> 0:02:32.280 to help her out, you know, like that. 0:02:35.240 --> 0:02:37.480 So the last time we talked her was in twenty nineteen. 0:02:38.000 --> 0:02:41.280 You gave her some money, and then it's been about 0:02:41.280 --> 0:02:44.600 three years and you were sort of just following her 0:02:44.639 --> 0:02:48.000 on social media up until about you said six months ago, 0:02:48.080 --> 0:02:49.520 she just stopped posting. 0:02:50.760 --> 0:02:53.840 Yep, yep, completely No no likes on her Twitter, no 0:02:54.760 --> 0:02:58.520 tags on her Instagram. Nothing. 0:02:59.360 --> 0:03:02.360 So she moved LA when she was eighteen, and then 0:03:02.440 --> 0:03:05.559 as of twenty nineteen, where was she at? 0:03:07.120 --> 0:03:07.440 She was? 0:03:07.840 --> 0:03:11.480 Yeah, so I sent a check to a po box 0:03:11.720 --> 0:03:14.440 in La. 0:03:14.680 --> 0:03:16.400 Okay, sould we think she's still in LA. 0:03:18.040 --> 0:03:22.200 I still think she's in LA. I think so. 0:03:22.320 --> 0:03:24.760 And tell me about the rest of your family your 0:03:24.800 --> 0:03:26.280 Do you have any other siblings? 0:03:27.800 --> 0:03:30.800 No other siblings. My mom was a single mom. 0:03:30.880 --> 0:03:31.320 She died. 0:03:31.360 --> 0:03:34.560 We went to live with our grandmother. Our grandmother raised us. 0:03:35.200 --> 0:03:36.880 Part of the reason maybe I don't talk to her 0:03:37.000 --> 0:03:40.160 is she lived off my grandma's credit card for about 0:03:40.280 --> 0:03:43.400 her first three years in LA. And grandma Grandma got 0:03:43.440 --> 0:03:47.040 into one hundred kid debt on her credit card and 0:03:47.080 --> 0:03:49.240 had to take out a mortgage to pay it off. 0:03:50.720 --> 0:03:55.560 Sister, Hey, of your sister used your grandmother's card for 0:03:55.640 --> 0:04:01.440 one hundred thousand dollars in three months for years? 0:04:01.480 --> 0:04:02.760 Sorry for years? 0:04:03.000 --> 0:04:06.720 Okay? Still and your grandma had no idea. 0:04:08.240 --> 0:04:10.760 My grandma's just too nice. She wouldn't say no to her, 0:04:10.920 --> 0:04:13.720 right and my sister I think is just too dumb 0:04:14.040 --> 0:04:16.080 or not dumb, But she doesn't. I don't think she 0:04:16.120 --> 0:04:20.360 ever knew the value of money because Grandma would just 0:04:20.400 --> 0:04:24.719 pay for whatever, so I don't for it. 0:04:24.800 --> 0:04:29.920 But yeah, after these these seven years, how much contact 0:04:29.920 --> 0:04:31.839 have you had with her? Throughout them? 0:04:33.560 --> 0:04:36.839 Just text messages maybe once a year, uh, and usually 0:04:36.839 --> 0:04:39.240 it would be me sending something like a happy Birthday, 0:04:39.680 --> 0:04:41.599 and then she sent something back a few weeks later, 0:04:41.920 --> 0:04:46.039 and then you know, that's that's about it, and just 0:04:46.040 --> 0:04:47.040 that kind of communication. 0:04:47.880 --> 0:04:52.120 Okay, So sort of once a year on her birthday, 0:04:52.160 --> 0:04:55.159 you're keeping tabs with her on social media, and throughout 0:04:55.200 --> 0:04:57.280 these whole seven years, she's posting on social media. 0:04:57.120 --> 0:05:00.599 Right, yeah, yeah, she's posting pictures of she was in 0:05:00.600 --> 0:05:06.160 a music video for a pretty famous rapper. But yeah, 0:05:06.440 --> 0:05:06.839 all right, so. 0:05:06.920 --> 0:05:09.400 You you're keeping tabs on all still, You're you're seeing 0:05:09.400 --> 0:05:10.279 what she's been up to. 0:05:12.080 --> 0:05:15.160 Yeah, yeah, just to make sure she's like, okay, she's 0:05:15.160 --> 0:05:18.240 not like that. Stuff can happen if you moved to 0:05:18.400 --> 0:05:20.760 la as an eighteen year old girl with no no 0:05:20.839 --> 0:05:24.719 life experience, so you know, just keep her an eye out. 0:05:25.320 --> 0:05:30.480 And when you guys were growing up, what was your relationship. 0:05:30.000 --> 0:05:35.359 Like pretty distant. I was kind of absorbed in the computer. 0:05:36.120 --> 0:05:38.560 I was really into computer hacking. And you know I didn't. 0:05:39.000 --> 0:05:42.480 I mean I didn't really socially interact with anybody, even 0:05:42.480 --> 0:05:47.479 my own sister, other than like the casual like I guess, 0:05:47.760 --> 0:05:51.320 we would go to family events together and that's about it. 0:05:51.440 --> 0:05:54.000 But we weren't. We weren't really super close friends or 0:05:54.040 --> 0:05:57.440 anything other than you know, the shared trauma. 0:05:57.680 --> 0:06:02.160 So mm hmmm when you say shared trauma, what is 0:06:02.200 --> 0:06:02.919 it you're referring to? 0:06:05.120 --> 0:06:08.719 Yeah, I mean our mom dad when we were kids. 0:06:08.760 --> 0:06:12.720 So she took that really hard, and she went to 0:06:12.720 --> 0:06:15.920 a lot of therapy. She got diagnosed with bipolar disorder, 0:06:17.960 --> 0:06:23.800 and you know, she tried to kill herself once and 0:06:26.080 --> 0:06:29.120 so she kind of had some poor mental health a 0:06:29.120 --> 0:06:29.640 whole time. 0:06:32.279 --> 0:06:34.880 So you said, I know, you sent her three thousand 0:06:34.960 --> 0:06:37.880 bucks and you text her Happy Birthday, But when's the 0:06:37.960 --> 0:06:41.279 last time you have really got into it with her 0:06:41.440 --> 0:06:43.760 on whether it was on the phone or in person 0:06:43.839 --> 0:06:44.920 or even in text? 0:06:46.520 --> 0:06:50.280 Geah, in text? Definitely before twenty nineteen, I think twenty 0:06:50.279 --> 0:06:53.520 eighteen or twenty seventeen. I I put it straight with 0:06:53.560 --> 0:06:57.000 her on well, when when when we cut off Grandma's 0:06:57.040 --> 0:06:58.960 credit card, I put it straight with her. I told 0:06:59.000 --> 0:07:01.520 her Grandma can't of for this. She actually had to 0:07:01.520 --> 0:07:04.920 take out a mortgage to pay off her debt and 0:07:06.400 --> 0:07:10.040 you have to get like a job to cover your expenses, 0:07:10.200 --> 0:07:18.040 and and like, yeah, it was hard to be angry. 0:07:18.120 --> 0:07:22.240 I mean, she she she kind of understood. She she 0:07:22.360 --> 0:07:29.240 just apologized for it. And I mean it wasn't like 0:07:29.280 --> 0:07:32.080 it was an argument. It was like, oh shit, I've 0:07:32.120 --> 0:07:38.120 been fucking up grandma's credit and my dad. I really 0:07:38.120 --> 0:07:41.360 didn't mean to do that. So that was like when 0:07:41.400 --> 0:07:44.680 we really got into it about you know, what she 0:07:44.800 --> 0:07:45.400 was doing at the. 0:07:45.360 --> 0:07:48.520 Time, and when's the last time you saw her in 0:07:48.560 --> 0:07:49.480 person face to face? 0:07:52.280 --> 0:07:54.520 Seven years ago when she the day she moved out 0:07:54.520 --> 0:07:58.120 to l A. I drove back to our house from 0:07:58.200 --> 0:08:01.920 college and you know, said goodbye to her. She took 0:08:01.920 --> 0:08:04.600 a car. She actually moved with a friend from high school, 0:08:05.600 --> 0:08:08.240 this girlfriend of hers, and you know they were going 0:08:08.280 --> 0:08:10.680 to make it, make it in la of musicians and 0:08:10.760 --> 0:08:11.640 the models. 0:08:11.840 --> 0:08:16.840 So okay, So she went dark on social media three 0:08:16.840 --> 0:08:19.600 months ago. You haven't interacted with her since twenty nineteen, 0:08:20.320 --> 0:08:23.120 and it says here you're thinking about hiring a private 0:08:23.160 --> 0:08:24.440 investigator to go find her. 0:08:26.040 --> 0:08:28.080 Yeah, yeah, right, So I mean I got money now 0:08:28.920 --> 0:08:31.400 I reached out to her still happy Birthday every year, 0:08:31.920 --> 0:08:37.400 but she hasn't responded, and now her social media is dark. 0:08:37.480 --> 0:08:41.240 So I'm thinking of just hiring a pid like find 0:08:41.280 --> 0:08:44.679 where she's at, who she's living with, Does she have 0:08:44.720 --> 0:08:47.360 a job, I mean, does she have a drug problem. 0:08:47.760 --> 0:08:49.040 I don't think she would ever tell me if she 0:08:49.040 --> 0:08:50.120 has a drug problem. 0:08:50.800 --> 0:08:56.240 So what is it that is making you decide now 0:08:57.400 --> 0:09:01.680 that you want to start putting in a lot of 0:09:01.679 --> 0:09:03.800 effort to go find her? 0:09:04.440 --> 0:09:09.360 I turned thirty, so I feel bad that I kind 0:09:09.360 --> 0:09:11.840 of haven't spoken to her. There's not any real reason 0:09:12.040 --> 0:09:14.640 that I don't speak to her, so, like, maybe I 0:09:14.640 --> 0:09:17.720 could go visit and say hi. I mean, she's one 0:09:17.760 --> 0:09:22.120 of the very few blood relatives I have, so I 0:09:22.360 --> 0:09:24.480 feel a need to connect. 0:09:27.040 --> 0:09:29.400 Right, I was gonna say, so, so your mother died 0:09:29.400 --> 0:09:31.640 when you guys were young. Where what's your father up to? 0:09:34.320 --> 0:09:38.800 Yeah, my father was kind of a beach bump in 0:09:38.920 --> 0:09:44.760 Florida and he's just out of the picture completely. He's 0:09:45.640 --> 0:09:51.320 aging gracefully on the beach in Florida, just doing odd 0:09:51.360 --> 0:09:54.160 jobs around there, and he doesn't He was out of 0:09:54.160 --> 0:09:56.920 the picture very early when we were young because they 0:09:56.920 --> 0:09:59.240 got a divorce and so my mom became a single 0:09:59.240 --> 0:10:03.920 mom when I was like six years old, so it 0:10:04.080 --> 0:10:07.439 was he's mostly just out of the picture completely. 0:10:09.480 --> 0:10:12.600 And do you have a wife and kids in your 0:10:12.600 --> 0:10:13.199 own family? 0:10:15.040 --> 0:10:17.199 Yeah? Yeah, so I got married to somebody I met 0:10:17.200 --> 0:10:19.920 in college, and I don't have any kids yet, but 0:10:20.120 --> 0:10:22.199 we're going to buy a house and have kids. That's 0:10:22.240 --> 0:10:26.200 the idea in the on the northwest coast. 0:10:27.280 --> 0:10:31.120 So yeah, what does your wife think about this whole situation? 0:10:34.080 --> 0:10:36.800 She supports it. She thinks we should try to save 0:10:36.840 --> 0:10:38.880 her if she's in a bad spot, like maybe you 0:10:38.920 --> 0:10:42.319 have her come live here. Minimum wage is really high 0:10:42.559 --> 0:10:45.160 in Washington and she could get on her feet and 0:10:46.080 --> 0:10:49.040 you know, live off our catch go to community college 0:10:49.080 --> 0:10:55.640 or something. And maybe she supports me. She thinks she 0:10:56.120 --> 0:10:58.960 thinks I should to help her get on her feet. 0:10:59.000 --> 0:11:02.400 If she's not, that's that's good that your wife is 0:11:02.720 --> 0:11:04.839 supportive of you wanting to do that, because I could 0:11:04.840 --> 0:11:08.440 see that, you know, if she weren't supportive, I could 0:11:08.440 --> 0:11:11.280 see it being some some sort of a conflict, you know, 0:11:11.360 --> 0:11:13.760 like was she cool with you giving her the three 0:11:13.760 --> 0:11:16.000 thousand bucks? 0:11:17.400 --> 0:11:21.760 Yeah, we talked about it for a while, and I 0:11:21.800 --> 0:11:24.800 mean we weren't even sure it could be for rent, 0:11:24.960 --> 0:11:28.160 Like if it's for drugs, that's really bad. That would 0:11:28.200 --> 0:11:32.000 buy her a lot of drugs. But I mean, we 0:11:32.040 --> 0:11:34.280 had no way to confirm, and my wife was cool 0:11:34.280 --> 0:11:36.800 with it. Three thousand bucks isn't a big deal to 0:11:37.200 --> 0:11:40.880 us because just just our circumstances. 0:11:40.240 --> 0:11:44.360 Now, So, you know, I find it interesting that you're, 0:11:44.679 --> 0:11:48.520 you know, even with that whole thing of her running 0:11:48.600 --> 0:11:52.080 up your grandma's credit card for one hundred thousand dollars 0:11:52.720 --> 0:11:55.559 and not knowing sort of what her deal is, if 0:11:55.559 --> 0:11:58.640 she's addicted to drugs or sort of whatever it is 0:11:58.679 --> 0:12:01.200 going on with her. I I am impressed that you 0:12:03.040 --> 0:12:07.960 still have this connection to her and this desire to 0:12:08.000 --> 0:12:12.120 help her, even though things seem like they've gotten very distant. 0:12:13.840 --> 0:12:17.080 It's really hard to tell if she's like a manipulator 0:12:16.920 --> 0:12:20.439 or not. And I want to believe she's not right. 0:12:21.000 --> 0:12:24.480 You want to assume the good and everybody and that 0:12:24.600 --> 0:12:29.360 she's just a unfortunate circumstances. She didn't know what she 0:12:29.440 --> 0:12:31.319 was doing, and you. 0:12:31.280 --> 0:12:32.000 Know so. 0:12:34.600 --> 0:12:40.160 And with this private eye, what is sort of the 0:12:40.200 --> 0:12:42.400 first step of trying to find her? Are you going 0:12:42.440 --> 0:12:47.760 to provide this PI with her Instagram photos? Or you know, 0:12:48.440 --> 0:12:50.360 I guess maybe they'll google her name and try to 0:12:50.360 --> 0:12:52.360 find where she lives. Do you have any idea what 0:12:52.360 --> 0:12:53.120 that process is? 0:12:53.200 --> 0:12:57.680 Like, Yeah, so I have about you. I've kind of 0:12:57.920 --> 0:13:01.959 kept on her because I mean, I'm a computer hacker man. 0:13:02.760 --> 0:13:05.400 Finding uh, finding people is the kind of part of 0:13:05.400 --> 0:13:08.120 what I do too. And so I've got her po box, 0:13:08.760 --> 0:13:11.040 I've got all of her friends that she's spoken to 0:13:11.080 --> 0:13:14.520 on Instagram, like kind of timelined out, Okay, it was 0:13:14.559 --> 0:13:17.520 sounding really creepy, man, But I would just scroll through 0:13:17.520 --> 0:13:20.880 her Instagram, collect the different friends she communicates with and 0:13:20.920 --> 0:13:22.880 who who comment on her posts and kind of have 0:13:23.000 --> 0:13:25.960 their names tagged to these identities. And so I've got 0:13:25.960 --> 0:13:28.400 all of these in the doc and i've got her 0:13:28.400 --> 0:13:33.520 po box. I don't have a real address, and I'm 0:13:33.520 --> 0:13:35.720 gonna I'm gonna send all this to a PI agency. 0:13:35.760 --> 0:13:38.280 I talked to one on the phone and they're like, Okay, well, 0:13:38.280 --> 0:13:41.720 first step is finding her. Right They're going to find 0:13:42.280 --> 0:13:47.679 her her current address and where she's at. And I'm 0:13:47.720 --> 0:13:49.439 not sure how they're going to do that. Maybe they 0:13:49.679 --> 0:13:53.599 can look at county records and stuff. But if I 0:13:53.679 --> 0:13:56.679 give them all this info, the friends she talks to 0:13:57.280 --> 0:14:01.560 that I could find at least and maybe maybe they 0:14:01.559 --> 0:14:04.440 can make it happen, and that's that's the hope. And 0:14:05.120 --> 0:14:07.880 they said it would be about a thousand bucks to 0:14:08.800 --> 0:14:13.240 give this initial like just finding where she is. 0:14:14.480 --> 0:14:18.800 So I am curious about a couple of things. I 0:14:18.840 --> 0:14:21.480 want to talk to you about how you feel like 0:14:21.520 --> 0:14:26.840 you'll react in a couple of different scenarios. Right, Like, 0:14:27.000 --> 0:14:31.880 let's say you hire this private investigator, they find her. 0:14:32.640 --> 0:14:36.200 You put all this effort, not even just the financial stuff, 0:14:36.200 --> 0:14:38.080 because the financials seem like they don't matter to you, 0:14:38.120 --> 0:14:40.600 But you're putting in a lot of like thought and 0:14:40.640 --> 0:14:45.760 like emotional energy into finding her, thinking about her, speculating 0:14:45.800 --> 0:14:48.960 about whether or not she's safe. What happens? What do 0:14:48.960 --> 0:14:51.320 you how do you think you will react if you 0:14:51.600 --> 0:14:55.040 find her and she just doesn't want anything to do 0:14:55.080 --> 0:14:59.320 with you because she's whatever her reason is, Maybe she 0:14:59.560 --> 0:15:01.680 is a to drugs and she doesn't want to get better, 0:15:01.840 --> 0:15:04.960 or maybe she has her own life that's happy, or 0:15:05.440 --> 0:15:07.720 whatever it is, whatever her reason is. What happens if 0:15:07.720 --> 0:15:09.880 you find her and she doesn't want anything to do 0:15:09.920 --> 0:15:11.440 with you, how how do you think you would react 0:15:11.440 --> 0:15:11.640 to that? 0:15:13.080 --> 0:15:16.000 I would be I would be ecstatic, especially if her 0:15:16.000 --> 0:15:20.120 life's going good. It's okay if she doesn't want anything 0:15:20.160 --> 0:15:24.880 to do with me, you know, but I would just 0:15:25.640 --> 0:15:29.720 I would be happy that. Well. If if she's going 0:15:29.760 --> 0:15:31.280 through you some trouble and she doesn't want anything to 0:15:31.280 --> 0:15:36.160 do with me, I'm not you know, if she's in 0:15:36.160 --> 0:15:39.360 a bad place. I think I think the way I 0:15:39.400 --> 0:15:42.920 would react is I might fly down to see her 0:15:42.920 --> 0:15:52.360 face to face, you know, to to at least see 0:15:52.480 --> 0:15:57.240 emotionally how she is, because it it would be a 0:15:57.360 --> 0:15:59.240 bit different if we talk on the phone or something 0:15:59.440 --> 0:16:02.040 and she says she wants nothing to do with me. 0:16:03.120 --> 0:16:06.600 I mean, actually I might, I might respect her depending 0:16:06.640 --> 0:16:09.320 on what she says on the phone. Well, I would 0:16:09.360 --> 0:16:12.240 respect your opinion, I guess. 0:16:12.000 --> 0:16:14.160 I guess. I guess it sounds what you're trying to 0:16:14.160 --> 0:16:16.040 say is like if she was like, hey, my life 0:16:16.080 --> 0:16:18.720 is going great, don't worry about me, then you wouldn't 0:16:18.720 --> 0:16:20.520 fly down there. But if you heard her say, like 0:16:21.000 --> 0:16:22.880 if she was kind of coming at it, and you 0:16:22.960 --> 0:16:25.160 sort of suspected maybe like she it does have drug 0:16:25.240 --> 0:16:27.560 problems and that's and she knows that you want to 0:16:27.560 --> 0:16:30.840 try to send her to rehab. Uh and so that's 0:16:30.840 --> 0:16:33.440 why she's avoiding you. If if I mean, this is 0:16:33.440 --> 0:16:36.600 all and hypothetical, but if that were the case, would 0:16:36.600 --> 0:16:38.400 you would you fly down there and be like, Okay, 0:16:38.400 --> 0:16:40.320 maybe I'll get through to you if if we're face 0:16:40.360 --> 0:16:40.720 to face. 0:16:42.840 --> 0:16:45.560 Yeah, yeah, that's that's my thought, like maybe we can 0:16:45.600 --> 0:16:49.600 at least reconnect, you know what, the only family each 0:16:49.640 --> 0:16:51.680 other has really So. 0:16:53.760 --> 0:16:57.400 Yeah, so you said your dad's beach Before we go, 0:16:57.480 --> 0:16:59.080 I want to I want to hear some other perspectives 0:16:59.120 --> 0:17:01.000 of their family members. You said your dad is a 0:17:01.000 --> 0:17:07.680 beach bum. Does he have any care or any sort 0:17:07.760 --> 0:17:10.280 of desire in the same way that you do to 0:17:10.320 --> 0:17:11.320 reconnect with his sister? 0:17:13.840 --> 0:17:17.320 Yeah, he's always been said that she doesn't talk to him, 0:17:17.840 --> 0:17:21.520 but he's a I mean, I don't even talk to 0:17:21.600 --> 0:17:28.680 him because he's so just kind of out there. He 0:17:30.160 --> 0:17:32.120 made some really bad life choices. I mean, I talked 0:17:32.160 --> 0:17:34.119 to him on his birthday, happy birthday. But I'm not 0:17:34.160 --> 0:17:41.879 gonna I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna fly down to 0:17:41.920 --> 0:17:44.280 see him all the time on the beach. And this 0:17:44.520 --> 0:17:50.760 kind of like the state he's in, he's a ah. 0:17:51.440 --> 0:17:54.919 He he was just kind of a negative person. So 0:17:56.080 --> 0:18:02.480 being around him. It's very negative, always always negative. So 0:18:02.720 --> 0:18:04.560 you know, I try to avoid that as much as 0:18:04.560 --> 0:18:04.880 I can. 0:18:05.720 --> 0:18:08.320 Is there anyone else in your like a fucking cousin, 0:18:08.880 --> 0:18:13.080 your grandparents? You've been mentioning anyone else who's like sort 0:18:13.160 --> 0:18:15.119 of in this with you? Or are you kind of 0:18:15.160 --> 0:18:16.159 just doing this all alone? 0:18:17.359 --> 0:18:22.680 Yeah? My grandmother and my uncle. My grandmother's son, he 0:18:23.280 --> 0:18:27.639 knows of her, but yeah, he kind of had a 0:18:27.720 --> 0:18:31.600 falling out with my sister because she anyway, she had 0:18:31.600 --> 0:18:35.760 some mental issues and she said some shit when she 0:18:35.880 --> 0:18:39.639 was visiting my uncle about how she's gonna go crazy 0:18:39.680 --> 0:18:42.080 because my uncle has the perfect family and she can't 0:18:42.080 --> 0:18:47.840 stand it. Anyway. My uncle would also like to know 0:18:47.880 --> 0:18:52.120 that she's okay, but she definitely doesn't want to talk 0:18:52.119 --> 0:18:52.680 to my uncle. 0:18:53.640 --> 0:18:57.040 So what happened with her and your uncle? 0:18:58.600 --> 0:19:00.000 Well, I don't want to get too long into it. 0:19:00.040 --> 0:19:02.280 It's not it's not that interesting. It's just she was 0:19:02.359 --> 0:19:06.439 visiting with me for Christmas. She's she had like this 0:19:06.520 --> 0:19:09.680 mental breakdown about how my uncle has like a perfect family, 0:19:09.760 --> 0:19:14.200 and then she had to leave early. She she took 0:19:14.240 --> 0:19:18.960 a flight back early because she couldn't she couldn't cope 0:19:19.000 --> 0:19:24.040 with my uncle and how nice their family situation is. 0:19:24.200 --> 0:19:28.240 Sure a little bit of jealousy, Yeah, yeah, Well it's 0:19:28.240 --> 0:19:29.960 interesting to hear that. I don't know how long ago 0:19:30.000 --> 0:19:32.240 this was, but it's interesting to hear that because you 0:19:32.240 --> 0:19:35.360 can kind of tell from that that she's jealous of 0:19:35.400 --> 0:19:37.720 your uncle having quote, a perfect family. I don't know 0:19:37.720 --> 0:19:39.880 what your uncle's family is like, but you can kind 0:19:39.880 --> 0:19:43.200 of tell that, like from that the family is important 0:19:43.200 --> 0:19:47.000 to her. So, you know, I think it's it's a 0:19:47.000 --> 0:19:49.639 cool thing you're doing because I I don't I we 0:19:50.000 --> 0:19:53.040 I guess neither of us really have any idea what 0:19:53.280 --> 0:19:59.400 her thoughts and feelings are about her family, about you, 0:19:59.560 --> 0:20:04.800 about you know, sort of her her relationship to back home. 0:20:04.920 --> 0:20:10.679 But she could be kind of waiting for you possibly 0:20:11.840 --> 0:20:15.680 to find her, and it could turn out that when 0:20:15.680 --> 0:20:17.480 you do find her, it'll mean a lot that you're 0:20:17.520 --> 0:20:24.719 back in her life. And it's it's very compelling to 0:20:24.760 --> 0:20:28.760 me to see you putting in all this effort, not 0:20:29.040 --> 0:20:33.480 knowing how she feels about you, not knowing if when 0:20:33.560 --> 0:20:35.880 you go to see her, if she'll want to see you, 0:20:36.400 --> 0:20:38.359 and then answering to me when I asked you how 0:20:38.359 --> 0:20:41.359 you would feel about that, it's going I would be 0:20:41.440 --> 0:20:43.639 a static just to know that she's you know, safe 0:20:43.640 --> 0:20:46.639 and doing well. So uh, this this is a very 0:20:46.760 --> 0:20:51.560 much a display in my eyes of unconditional love and 0:20:51.680 --> 0:20:56.399 caring and uh, you know I respect it. Man. I 0:20:56.400 --> 0:20:58.680 wish you good luck on your journey. Please call back 0:20:58.680 --> 0:21:02.280 in if you don't think find anything. We'd love to 0:21:02.320 --> 0:21:03.960 hear you. 0:21:04.000 --> 0:21:05.200 Don't think it's too creepy, man? 0:21:06.560 --> 0:21:18.119 Do I think it's creepy? Could be creepy. I have 0:21:18.119 --> 0:21:19.639 no idea. I'm just on the internet. 0:21:21.040 --> 0:21:22.560 Thanks, Geko, I appreciate it. 0:21:22.680 --> 0:21:24.200 Have a good one, of course you as well. 0:21:25.800 --> 0:21:26.280 You too, But. 0:21:30.200 --> 0:21:33.560 That was Dan, Let's see is it creepy to stalk 0:21:33.600 --> 0:21:34.480 your sister to see? 0:21:34.520 --> 0:21:34.800 Well? 0:21:35.040 --> 0:21:42.440 Look, intention is important, I think when you're judging people's actions. 0:21:43.280 --> 0:21:44.679 A lot of people don't agree with me. A lot 0:21:44.720 --> 0:21:46.560 of people don't think attention is important. But I think 0:21:46.560 --> 0:21:49.320 intention is important. And his intention is just to make 0:21:49.359 --> 0:21:55.040 sure that she is safe. And it was interesting when 0:21:55.040 --> 0:21:59.280 he meant into the uncle thing that she was jealous 0:21:59.320 --> 0:22:01.080 of the fact that he had a family, Like you 0:22:01.080 --> 0:22:05.280 can kind of ascertain by that that she, you know, 0:22:05.400 --> 0:22:08.359 family is important to her. I'm thinking about my own sister. 0:22:09.359 --> 0:22:11.480 I'm thinking about if she dropped off the face of 0:22:11.520 --> 0:22:16.800 the earth for five years, you know, would I do 0:22:16.880 --> 0:22:20.919 the same? Would I compile a dossier and stalk her 0:22:20.960 --> 0:22:23.000 with a private eye? And if I did it, would 0:22:23.040 --> 0:22:24.600 that be creepy? Or would that come from a place 0:22:24.640 --> 0:22:27.119 of this is my sister. She's the only family I have, 0:22:27.240 --> 0:22:32.359 and I love her. I don't know. I don't know 0:22:32.359 --> 0:22:34.280 if I'm the judge to say whether or not it's creepy. 0:22:34.320 --> 0:22:38.359 But I hope he finds her, and I hope that 0:22:38.440 --> 0:22:43.280 they have a good reconnection, hope that she's doing well. 0:22:43.920 --> 0:22:46.960 And I thank you to Dan for sharing that story 0:22:46.960 --> 0:22:51.080 with us. It is interesting that at the very end 0:22:51.960 --> 0:22:55.080 of that call is when he kind of out of 0:22:55.160 --> 0:22:59.800 left field said is a creepy, which means to him 0:23:00.359 --> 0:23:03.159 And I understand why, because if you're compiling a dossier 0:23:03.359 --> 0:23:06.440 and uh, you know, look, if you're if you're scrolling 0:23:06.480 --> 0:23:12.320 through some girls Instagram pictures and compiling them into a dossier, 0:23:13.200 --> 0:23:15.639 does it matter if she's your sister? A part of 0:23:15.680 --> 0:23:20.480 your brain is going, is this creepy? So I understand 0:23:20.560 --> 0:23:23.679 why he uh maybe has that inkling in his mind, 0:23:23.760 --> 0:23:28.679 But again, I think his intentions are are pure. He 0:23:28.720 --> 0:23:33.320 wants to make sure that you know she's safe, especially 0:23:34.080 --> 0:23:37.800 when he was describing all of those like mental health 0:23:37.960 --> 0:23:43.200 issues that she had and potential drug problems and whatnot, 0:23:44.400 --> 0:23:46.119 that he just wants to make sure she's safe. So 0:23:49.640 --> 0:23:57.639 I think it's coming from a good place. Hello, Hello, 0:23:58.280 --> 0:24:00.800