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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are

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Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime Podcasts.

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Speaker 2: And we have some foundational stories coming up for you.

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Speaker 1: But the thing is this foundation needs a little support

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Speaker 1: from these sponsors. So stick around two minutes and we'll

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Speaker 1: get into the episode.

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Speaker 3: My mother in law demands a financial compromise over a

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Speaker 3: problem she created.

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Speaker 2: Ah, we love when the problems demand we deal with

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Speaker 2: more problems.

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Speaker 3: Oh, ain't that the true backstory? Five years ago, my

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Speaker 3: mother in law retired, sold her house, and moved to

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Speaker 3: Arizona to be closer to my husband and to be

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Speaker 3: done with harsh winters. In our opinion, she did this prematurely.

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Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from a relevant.

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Speaker 4: And if you want to submit your own stories, go

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Speaker 4: to the r slash Okay Storytime Supreddit starty no. So,

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Speaker 4: she spent her first year in Arizona living in a small,

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Speaker 4: not great apartment as that was all that was in

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Speaker 4: her budget. She also hasn't worked since, not even part time,

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Speaker 4: despite her financial advisor telling her.

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Speaker 5: That she should have a job for two years ago.

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Speaker 3: My husband was able to buy her a home in

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Speaker 3: a fifty five plus community, and the community she's in

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Speaker 3: she chose for several reasons, including being large, dog friendly,

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Speaker 3: and we got her into this home with the understanding

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Speaker 3: that this was going to be her forever home. My

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Speaker 3: husband and I own the home, and we see this

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Speaker 3: as our investment into her future care. When she gets

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Speaker 3: to a point where she cannot live on her own,

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Speaker 3: we have this home to sell to fund assisted living.

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Speaker 3: We've made upgrades to the property roof and ac and

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Speaker 3: mother in law put her own money into changing the floors, kitchen, cabinets.

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Speaker 5: Counters, et cetera.

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Speaker 3: Okay, three years ago, she bought a Golden Retriever puppy cute.

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Speaker 3: We both strongly advised against this for several reasons get

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Speaker 3: to Rescue, including that we didn't think that she should

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Speaker 3: get a dog that would grow to be bigger than

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Speaker 3: she can handle. She got the puppy anyway, now, a

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Speaker 3: seventy five plus pound goofball that really isn't super loyal

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Speaker 3: to Okay.

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Speaker 2: Yes, man, I mean like, if you don't train the dog,

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Speaker 2: doll's gonna be hard to wrangle. Yeah.

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Speaker 5: Absolutely, a fine dog, but I wouldn't say it's the dog,

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Speaker 5: you know, not a heart dog.

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Speaker 3: A year and a half ago, my husband and I

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Speaker 3: decided to move abroad and executed the moves seven to

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Speaker 3: eight months ago congratulation. We wanted to try a new

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Speaker 3: way of living and decided that Arizona did not support

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Speaker 3: the kind of lifestyle that we want to have. Almost

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Speaker 3: all of our family is still in Arizona, so visits

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Speaker 3: home will always be to there, and we even spent

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Speaker 3: two weeks there last month. My mother in law took

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Speaker 3: the news of our move incredibly hard, but since we

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Speaker 3: didn't move until a year after announcing our intention, by

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Speaker 3: the time it happened, she accepted things and it was

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Speaker 3: even somewhat.

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Speaker 2: Happy for us. That's good, that's great. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: A month after we moved, she had a heart attack

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Speaker 3: and needed triple bypass surgery.

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Speaker 2: No, that's not great. That's bad. Yeah, that's bad.

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Speaker 3: We supported her the best we could from abroad with

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Speaker 3: facetimes and Amazon packages, and my mom visited her in

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Speaker 3: the hospital almost every day. Her friends at the fifty

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Speaker 3: five plus community really stepped up and took turns caring

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Speaker 3: for the dog and helping her with anything she needed

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Speaker 3: through her recovery. It really reassures us to know that

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Speaker 3: she is surrounded by so much support, and that's part

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Speaker 3: of why we felt okay with moving away, but seeing

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Speaker 3: her go through this medical emergency while being over here

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Speaker 3: and helpless was hard.

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Speaker 2: I bet man, definitely gotta be difficult, yeah.

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Speaker 5: Geez, but our current situation.

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Speaker 3: In March, the dog was at a neighbor's house, being

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Speaker 3: watched by set neighbor and other folks. Mother in law

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Speaker 3: was across the street at her own house. The dog

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Speaker 3: had Leijean, but.

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Speaker 5: No one was holding it.

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Speaker 3: A woman walked by with her own dog, and mother

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Speaker 3: in law's dog ran at The woman and her dog

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Speaker 3: presumably decreed, but the dogs got into a scuffle and

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Speaker 3: the woman's leg was injured with a scratch or bite

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Speaker 3: in her attempts to separate the dog.

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Speaker 2: Oh scratch scratch or bite scratch or there's a big

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Speaker 2: difference there.

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Speaker 5: Oh yeah yeah yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah that really is dang infections, Yeah, could happen. The

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Speaker 3: fifty five plus Park has a zero tolerance policy for

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Speaker 3: any aggressive dog behavior, and last month my mother in

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Speaker 3: law received an eviction notice from the park's attorney, signing

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Speaker 3: the incident and saying that the eviction would be canceled

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Speaker 3: if the dog were removed than five days.

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Speaker 2: Damn wowing Wellatom's I've never actually heard one that like that.

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Speaker 5: That's so fast. Five days and you're out of there.

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Speaker 3: Since we happened to be in a town at that time,

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Speaker 3: we were able to have her and the dog to

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Speaker 3: stay with us for a couple of days while we

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Speaker 3: evaluated the situation. We called an attorney who basically confirmed

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Speaker 3: that the eviction was legal. We all discussed and all

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Speaker 3: agreed that she would move into our house.

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Speaker 5: We run it as a furnished rental.

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Speaker 3: With her dog, which would buy time to think about

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Speaker 3: next steps, such as selling her house and buying in

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Speaker 3: another park that would allow the large dog. Then she

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Speaker 3: changed her mind and found a foster for the dog,

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Speaker 3: deciding to foster the dog, sell the house, and move

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Speaker 3: to another park.

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Speaker 5: As quickly as possible.

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Speaker 3: She's now putting a lot of pressure on my husband

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Speaker 3: and I to list her house. It's our names on

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Speaker 3: the title, but we are not on board with this

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Speaker 3: course of action. We haven't said this to her, but

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Speaker 3: we both think it would be better to rehome her

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Speaker 3: dog and stay in her current park. Reasons include selling

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Speaker 3: and buying will automatically be flushing thousands of dollars down

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Speaker 3: the drain in rental fees. The homes that would be

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Speaker 3: in our budget are going to be twenty plus years

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Speaker 3: old and need the same kind of major repairs we've

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Speaker 3: already done in her current place, further eating to the

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Speaker 3: investment money. The park she wants to move to is

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Speaker 3: pretty far away, whereas right now she's five minutes away

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Speaker 3: from my mom. She would be moving away from the

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Speaker 3: support system provided by her friends in the current park

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Speaker 3: that has already proven itself, already proven itself.

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Speaker 2: I'm just like, I've never heard it referred to as

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Speaker 2: a park, and it's just the language is funny to

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Speaker 2: me because it makes me. It makes I'm seeing all

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Speaker 2: of these older elderly individuals like like they're at the

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Speaker 2: dog park, Yeah, walked around on their leashes by like really,

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Speaker 2: I don't know, like children like their kids, Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: like yeah, this is my this is mine att nineteen

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Speaker 2: fifty two.

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Speaker 5: This one.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like one of those like fake neighborhoods that

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Speaker 3: you can go around.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I guess they have fake neighborhoods for a certain.

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Speaker 2: So That's just what I'm dealing with right now in

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Speaker 2: my head.

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Speaker 3: More reasons she shouldn't be doing this kind of major

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Speaker 3: move at sixty eight years old. It's taken her four

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Speaker 3: years to get fully settled into her current home, and

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Speaker 3: she shouldn't be uprooting everything. The dog could easily be

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Speaker 3: rehomed to a great family. It's a golden and when

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Speaker 3: the time is right, she could adopt another dog. Also,

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Speaker 3: her dog did not miss her at all when she

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Speaker 3: was in the hospital for her heart attack day.

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Speaker 2: That's a brutal man. That is ice cold.

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Speaker 5: That's brutal.

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Speaker 3: You could have just let that out. Yeah, that's a

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Speaker 3: rough man. One time someone told me that that might

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Speaker 3: just don't care about me.

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Speaker 2: That's rough old. We got a.

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Speaker 3: Totally intentional She's really not a very loyal dog. Ultimately,

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Speaker 3: this house is our investment into her future care, and

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Speaker 3: from a financial standpoint, this seems like such an obvious decision.

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Speaker 3: On the other hand, she is alone and this dog

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Speaker 3: is her companion. I don't know if it's right for

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Speaker 3: us to refuse to sell her house, even if it

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Speaker 3: makes sense on paper. From an emotional standpoint, I feel

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Speaker 3: like this is wrong. I think that part of our

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Speaker 3: job in taking care of my mother in law is

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Speaker 3: making sure that she is emotionally cared for and forcing

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Speaker 3: her to get rid of the dog would probably be

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Speaker 3: unforgivable from her POB. My husband is planning on having

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Speaker 3: the talk with her tonight because so far he has

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Speaker 3: not shared with her his full thoughts on the situation.

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Speaker 3: He and I have been talking in depth for a

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Speaker 3: while trying to figure out a course forward. So what

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Speaker 3: would anyone do in this situation? Should we tell my

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Speaker 3: mother in law that we will not let her move?

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Speaker 3: Should we take the financial and help her keep her dog?

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Speaker 3: And there are some comments and there's like we're not

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Speaker 3: even halfway through the story, but what would you do?

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Speaker 2: What would you do? I mean, she said she wanted

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Speaker 2: to like foster the dog or like rehome the dog.

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Speaker 5: Mm hmm.

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Speaker 2: I think she can do that. It sounded like that

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Speaker 2: was her idea at one point, right, No, I think so. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I think staying with the friends that she's made at

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Speaker 2: her park probably the best move you can get her

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Speaker 2: to agree. But there's also like, you know, maybe she's like,

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Speaker 2: I don't want to stay the same place where they

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Speaker 2: made me get rid of my dog.

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Speaker 5: Oh yeah, she might be bitter like er.

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Speaker 2: But it's like, I don't know, people will get stuff

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Speaker 2: in their head. It's hard to get it out of

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Speaker 2: their head once they are dead set on an idea,

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Speaker 2: so right, but.

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Speaker 3: Especially when they're elderly, it seemed to be a little

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Speaker 3: more set in their ways a.

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Speaker 2: Bit a little just a little bit.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, but yeah, that seems like that seems like

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Speaker 3: a solid plan.

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Speaker 5: And I said they're going to talk about it.

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Speaker 3: That's definitely sure that they're not just like making an

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Speaker 3: executive decision.

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Speaker 2: You know, should be a talk for sure.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely, But there were some comments comment number ones is info.

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Speaker 3: You say you had agreed for her to move into

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Speaker 3: your house temporarily to think about selling her house and

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Speaker 3: moving as the next step. Were you insecure when you

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Speaker 3: said this? And we're hoping that she'd change her mind

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Speaker 3: and give up the dog. I don't really see how

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Speaker 3: she's changed her mind in this situation. She still wants

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Speaker 3: to move elsewhere with the dog. It's just that she

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Speaker 3: wants to stay where she is and have the dog

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Speaker 3: fostered temporarily, rather than moving to your house temporarily. Oh,

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Speaker 3: Pete responds No, that was a sincere offer at the time,

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Speaker 3: but now, having had several weeks to gather information, we

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Speaker 3: are grappling with huge financial hit. The dog means as

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Speaker 3: well as the other repercussions and considerations with her making

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Speaker 3: the decision to stay where she is and foster the dog,

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Speaker 3: she's now putting a huge time crunch and urgency on

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Speaker 3: the whole thing. Every time she calls, she is just

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Speaker 3: trying to put pressure on us to list the house

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Speaker 3: as soon as possible. Meanwhile, we've tasked her with finding

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Speaker 3: other parks to live in, and she's found one, and

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Speaker 3: that one park has one listing that would be within budget,

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Speaker 3: budget being at the max whatever we could net from

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Speaker 3: her house. Even if we did list her house today,

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Speaker 3: it's highly unlikely that it would sell. Her park has

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Speaker 3: slow market right now in time to buy that unit,

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Speaker 3: sellers have priced it low to.

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Speaker 2: Move it quickly.

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Speaker 3: And there is another update. Do you have any final

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Speaker 3: thoughts before we go into this second or this.

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Speaker 2: First uptod No, I think it's just dive riding.

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Speaker 5: Let's go for it.

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Speaker 3: So update mother in law to my husband, you're just

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Speaker 3: another man screwing me over, oh boy, accusations coming out

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Speaker 3: coming out hard, oh Man. A little more context. The

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Speaker 3: house was bought one hundred percent with my and my

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Speaker 3: husband's The park had a requirement that the resident had

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Speaker 3: to be on the title, so a few weeks after

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Speaker 3: we bought it, we added her name to the title

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Speaker 3: to check that box. A year or two later, we

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Speaker 3: removed her name from the title because A it's not

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Speaker 3: her asset, and B we anticipated a situation much like

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Speaker 3: this might happen.

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Speaker 5: Good foresight.

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Speaker 3: Turns out she's currently out of state visiting a friend.

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Speaker 3: Plus there is a nine hour time difference from our country,

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Speaker 3: so our evenings are her mornings. She was supposed to

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Speaker 3: fly home on Friday and had commitments to handle for

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Speaker 3: us over the weekend. On Thursday morning, we woke up

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Speaker 3: to a text from her that she was wanting to

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Speaker 3: extend her trip and that it was fine except for

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Speaker 3: her commitment to us checking out tenants and checking in

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Speaker 3: new tenants. We pay her to manage our property until

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Speaker 3: our house sells in a couple months. I sent her

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Speaker 3: a polite but firm response that extending her trip sounded nice,

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Speaker 3: but less than two days notice was not appreciated, and

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Speaker 3: to please get me up to speed on her conversations

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Speaker 3: with the current tenants so that I could handle the situation.

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Speaker 5: At the same time, we needed to have.

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Speaker 3: The conversation with her about unlisting her house had said

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Speaker 3: that she'd call us when she woke up, so I

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Speaker 3: told her please don't do that as we'll be working,

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Speaker 3: and that we would call her.

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Speaker 5: By the time we finished up work. On Thursday, we

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Speaker 5: had heard nothing back from mother in law.

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Speaker 3: Husband and I both tried to call her a few

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Speaker 3: times throughout the evening, and we figured that she somehow

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Speaker 3: took offense.

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Speaker 5: To my text and was being pouty.

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Speaker 3: So being unable to communicate with her first before taking

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Speaker 3: the house off of the market, my husband reached out

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Speaker 3: to the listing agent and asking for removal. The listing

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Speaker 3: agent said that she would take down the sign and flyers,

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Speaker 3: but that the house would stay on the market until

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Speaker 3: the contract expires. Husband responded asking what it would take

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Speaker 3: to dissolve the contract. She said we could talk about

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Speaker 3: paying her a fee. The agent didn't respond. The next morning,

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Speaker 3: we woke up to a text to my husband from

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Speaker 3: my mother in law. The agent had texted her and

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Speaker 3: told her that we wanted to take the house off

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Speaker 3: the market. To be clear, my mother in law's name

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Speaker 3: is not on the contract. The agent's professional relationship is

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Speaker 3: with us, and my mother in law is a tenant

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Speaker 3: in our house. It was wholly inappropriate for the agent

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Speaker 3: to reach out to my mother in law in this way,

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Speaker 3: and I will be contacting her broker to explain boom get.

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Speaker 2: Her getter, get geitter.

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Speaker 3: So mother in law texted my husband saying that she

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Speaker 3: was confused, hurt, angry, and mostly very disappointed in the.

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Speaker 6: Text hitting you with the disappointment hitting it's a disappointment.

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Speaker 6: I'm not angry, I'm just just disappointed, disappointed.

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Speaker 5: She's using all the weapons in her.

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Speaker 2: Arse, in her vast arsenal.

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Speaker 5: Arsenal, Okay, thank you.

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Speaker 3: I was blanking on that word since she had been

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Speaker 3: ignoring us. The only text messages were the one I

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Speaker 3: sent in response to her extending her trip and the

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Speaker 3: text from the agent. She asked, what will it take

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Speaker 3: for you to buy me out of my portion of

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Speaker 3: my home so I can move on with my.

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Speaker 5: Life that I choose to live.

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Speaker 3: My husband responded that he had tried to have a

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Speaker 3: conversation and that he's not telling her how to live.

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Speaker 3: He's saying that there are conditions to her spending his

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Speaker 3: money which she hasn't met, and that they need to discuss.

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Speaker 3: He asked to schedule a call. She called him Friday afternoon.

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Speaker 3: Friday morning, her time, she confirmed that she was extending

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Speaker 3: her trip by a week, and my husband said that's great.

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Speaker 5: She asked if he's taking her house off the markt.

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Speaker 5: He said yes.

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Speaker 3: She asked why, and he said, you know, you know

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Speaker 3: why we've talked about this. She didn't respond and pivoted

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Speaker 3: to say that she is moving no matter what and

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Speaker 3: wants to be bought out of the house. So she's

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Speaker 3: going to do what they want, which is move out

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Speaker 3: of the house. But she's like, you gotta pay me first.

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Speaker 2: She's like holding herself hostage.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 6: It's a really like backwards situation, and it's like, well,

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Speaker 6: technically it is their how like they spent all the

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Speaker 6: money for it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, right, Yeah, from what I'm aware.

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Speaker 3: Of, absolutely, So I guess she's just forgetting that she

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Speaker 3: didn't buy the house.

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Speaker 2: She just being a difficult person.

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Speaker 5: Yes, yes, it seems.

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Speaker 3: My husband said it fine, and that he would reimburse

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Speaker 3: her for the flooring and kitchen cabinets.

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Speaker 5: That she installed.

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Speaker 2: Ah, she do pay for those, I forgot, I guess.

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Speaker 5: I guess.

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Speaker 3: So she had originally wanted us to pay for those,

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Speaker 3: and we declined as the house's original floors and cabinets.

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Speaker 5: We're fine.

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Speaker 3: She said that her investment was worth sixty thousand dollars.

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Speaker 2: It's not that it's expensive. Cabinets, yeah, for.

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Speaker 3: Real, Oh my gosh. He said, sure, show me the

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Speaker 3: receipts and I'll make you hole on it. From there,

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00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:14,920
Speaker 3: she started spiraling, got mad that her name was taken

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00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:17,280
Speaker 3: off the title, said that she wanted a return on

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Speaker 3: her investment and that she wanted forty thousand dollars, said

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Speaker 3: that she could rip out the cabinets, said it was

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Speaker 3: her house, threatened legal action so that this isn't how

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Speaker 3: you do business, especially with family, and said this isn't how.

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Speaker 2: You treat family.

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Speaker 5: Ah, she's really trying everything.

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Speaker 2: She had a mouthful there.

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Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, gracious to that. My husband said, what

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Speaker 3: isn't how you treat family buying them a house to

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Speaker 3: live in for free.

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Speaker 5: I'm so proud of him for that one. Dang. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: that's a great thing to do for your family.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, i'd be like, oh, so I shouldn't have bought

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Speaker 2: you this free house.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, my bad, my bad. That caught her off guard.

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Speaker 3: Yeah that's great, but she said, this isn't how to

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Speaker 3: treat your mother.

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Speaker 5: Who raised you for twenty years.

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Speaker 3: At fourteen he went to live with his dad full time,

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Speaker 3: and at nineteen he went into the military.

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Speaker 5: So he was very confused at the twenty years thing.

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Speaker 3: She said she wants to be paid back for her

360
00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:13,560
Speaker 3: improvements to the property, and so with the spiral it continued.

361
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Speaker 3: Finally she told him.

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Speaker 5: You're just another mass grew rolling me.

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Speaker 3: Up and she hung up the phone. Wow, she there's

364
00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:22,840
Speaker 3: still more to this. But this woman is hurt. She

365
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:23,400
Speaker 3: is hurt.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, you know, it sounds like she's been

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Speaker 2: screwed over by a lot of men in the past,

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00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:33,520
Speaker 2: I guess, so sounds like she is sensitive to that. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: you know it is fair to be like, well, I

370
00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:38,720
Speaker 2: did spend money on parts of the house. But then

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00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:41,600
Speaker 2: also like don't tell them just a fake, made up

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Speaker 2: number that's not real.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, that's like so much money.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, like tell him the actual house. Also, they're selling

375
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Speaker 2: this house to get you another house essentially, right, Like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: they're selling this place to put you in the next

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Speaker 2: place you wanted to be, right.

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Speaker 5: So, like beggars can't be choosers.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and if the cabinets weren't really adding any like, uh,

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00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:05,160
Speaker 3: what's it called values to the house.

381
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Speaker 5: Then you don't get anything from it. I watch HGTV.

382
00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:10,240
Speaker 2: That's what they say, right, that's what they do say.

383
00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:13,600
Speaker 5: Take it up with Joanna and the other one.

384
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Speaker 2: Take it up with the crew.

385
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Speaker 5: So she hung up the phone.

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Speaker 3: For a mother to say that to her son is

387
00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:23,360
Speaker 3: just what so gross in so many ways, all I

388
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:25,520
Speaker 3: needed to hear to know that I'm not crazy about

389
00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:29,360
Speaker 3: the relationship dynamic here and her much deeper rooted problems

390
00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:32,160
Speaker 3: that she's never bothered to resolve throughout her life. I

391
00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:34,360
Speaker 3: could make a whole other post on that.

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Speaker 2: Anyway.

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00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:37,680
Speaker 3: My husband followed up the call with a text, I

394
00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:40,600
Speaker 3: am not another man screwing you over, and I think

395
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:41,360
Speaker 3: that that was an.

396
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Speaker 5: Awful thing for you to say to me.

397
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Speaker 3: I'm simply not spending thousands of dollars to solve your problems.

398
00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:47,840
Speaker 3: You made the decision to get an enormous dog, you

399
00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:50,480
Speaker 3: made the decision to not get proper training for the dog,

400
00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:53,400
Speaker 3: and you made these decisions knowing the policies of the

401
00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:55,280
Speaker 3: park you specifically.

402
00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:55,560
Speaker 5: Wanted to live in.

403
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:59,000
Speaker 3: The situation you're in right now is a direct consequence

404
00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:02,800
Speaker 3: of your decisions. You need to own the consequences of

405
00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:06,560
Speaker 3: your own actions. Furthermore, I agreed to sell my property

406
00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:11,040
Speaker 3: and acquiesce once again to your desires, with specific conditions

407
00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:12,560
Speaker 3: that you have chosen to ignore.

408
00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:14,960
Speaker 5: My removing the house from your market.

409
00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:18,600
Speaker 3: Is again a direct consequence of your decision, the decision

410
00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:21,360
Speaker 3: to not work. I forgot about that not working things,

411
00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:23,679
Speaker 3: that's right, a callback from the very beginning.

412
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:28,480
Speaker 2: Unimployed, unemployed and paid.

413
00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:32,359
Speaker 5: For yes, yes, oh my goodness, but still not good enough.

414
00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:33,560
Speaker 5: And she's like, really.

415
00:17:33,359 --> 00:17:36,240
Speaker 3: She's like able to work though too, she's not, you know,

416
00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:38,600
Speaker 3: broken enough, it seems.

417
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Speaker 2: I mean, like sixty eight, it's pretty old. It's pretty old,

418
00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:45,640
Speaker 2: but also like there is stuff out there. Yeah, there's

419
00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:46,320
Speaker 2: stuff out there.

420
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Speaker 3: I once worked at a clothing store and one of

421
00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:51,280
Speaker 3: my coworkers was seventy two. But you know, I mean,

422
00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:53,719
Speaker 3: obviously I don't know how like physically able she is.

423
00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:56,199
Speaker 3: But if she's got a big dog, then maybe be

424
00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:59,840
Speaker 3: a taste tester walk around. Yeah, you act as if

425
00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:02,159
Speaker 3: I I'm doing this maliciously, and I need you to

426
00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:04,480
Speaker 3: know that I am not. I am making the best

427
00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:07,240
Speaker 3: financial decisions to ensure that my mother is taken care of,

428
00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:10,160
Speaker 3: especially when she is so determined to act against her

429
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:12,959
Speaker 3: own long term self interest for the sake of her

430
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:17,000
Speaker 3: emotional state. She responded something about being paid for her investment.

431
00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:19,520
Speaker 3: He said something about how in that case she will

432
00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:21,480
Speaker 3: need to move out, and she said that she was

433
00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:23,760
Speaker 3: working on it. She seems to think that we are

434
00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:26,600
Speaker 3: straight up stealing money from her, something in her warped

435
00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:29,000
Speaker 3: point of view, really sees it as she is owed

436
00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:31,879
Speaker 3: at least one third of the property value no matter what.

437
00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:34,719
Speaker 3: I sent her a long text basically saying that she

438
00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:38,080
Speaker 3: acts very entitled toward my husband and always has, and

439
00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:40,960
Speaker 3: that what she said to him was wrong, that this

440
00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:43,600
Speaker 3: isn't about the money, that we don't want or need

441
00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:45,600
Speaker 3: the money from the house, that any of the money

442
00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:47,760
Speaker 3: is for us to take care of her, but it's

443
00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:51,000
Speaker 3: not hers to spend, that we still plan to take

444
00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:53,000
Speaker 3: care of her even through all of this, but that

445
00:18:53,119 --> 00:18:56,439
Speaker 3: she didn't uphold her commitment, and that she owes my

446
00:18:56,560 --> 00:19:00,000
Speaker 3: husband an apology. She responded saying that it is about money,

447
00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:02,760
Speaker 3: that she is grateful, and that we are rude and

448
00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:06,160
Speaker 3: disrespectful to her to get a job or else, and

449
00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:08,880
Speaker 3: that she doesn't need to be taken care of yet.

450
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:11,119
Speaker 3: I asked her how she thinks it's fair that she

451
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:13,880
Speaker 3: isn't holding up her end of the house selling agreement

452
00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:16,399
Speaker 3: and why she agreed to the job condition in the

453
00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:18,280
Speaker 3: first place. At the time to take care of her

454
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:20,959
Speaker 3: already came when she needed a place to live, and

455
00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:24,560
Speaker 3: that she's lost my trust and owes my husband an apology.

456
00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:26,320
Speaker 5: She also has had a.

457
00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:28,520
Speaker 3: Bit of a back and forth texting with my husband,

458
00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:30,880
Speaker 3: but it's just been some petty little quips.

459
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:32,560
Speaker 5: Actually gave me a good chuckle.

460
00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:35,280
Speaker 3: She sent a pig of the Arizona sunset behind her

461
00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:37,639
Speaker 3: house and said, pretty sunset at your house.

462
00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:40,320
Speaker 5: Exity, waitit wait wait.

463
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,760
Speaker 3: Oh, Like she's saying, like, like at your house, not

464
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:43,560
Speaker 3: my house.

465
00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:45,960
Speaker 5: Oh I think that's what I say.

466
00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:49,919
Speaker 2: Yeah, your it's so nice here at your house.

467
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:50,879
Speaker 5: At your house.

468
00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:55,800
Speaker 3: Haha, ex Dy, it's like dealing with a moody teenager.

469
00:19:55,880 --> 00:19:59,199
Speaker 5: We'll get through all of this. By the way you

470
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:01,160
Speaker 5: get try to get through.

471
00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:04,040
Speaker 3: It's all of our videos, all of our videos with

472
00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:05,760
Speaker 3: full episodes, stories.

473
00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:07,600
Speaker 5: Just like these. How many days are there?

474
00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:11,080
Speaker 3: Forty eight forty eight days, and that number is just growing, so.

475
00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:12,080
Speaker 2: Keep going up.

476
00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:14,800
Speaker 3: It would take you forty eight days to get through

477
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:18,240
Speaker 3: all that we have for you consecutive.

478
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:19,359
Speaker 5: Days, consecutive days.

479
00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:21,840
Speaker 3: Just go to Spotify, go to Apple Podcasts, your favorite

480
00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:25,159
Speaker 3: podcast app search, Okay, storytime and we got you, We

481
00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:27,480
Speaker 3: got you, And there is a tiny bit more to

482
00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:27,920
Speaker 3: the story.

483
00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:30,840
Speaker 5: Any any quick thoughts we go into it.

484
00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:32,280
Speaker 2: Sometimes people are.

485
00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:35,080
Speaker 5: Difficult, yeap that is, Yeah, it might.

486
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:36,880
Speaker 2: Be still love them, still love.

487
00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:42,159
Speaker 3: Them begrudgingly sometimes sometimes sometimes Yeah.

488
00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:42,359
Speaker 5: I don't know.

489
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:45,119
Speaker 3: I just want to see how this ends. I know

490
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:47,080
Speaker 3: she loves my husband, and I do have faith that

491
00:20:47,119 --> 00:20:49,080
Speaker 3: she'll apologize. And like I said to her in my

492
00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:51,520
Speaker 3: first long text, nothing you say or do in your

493
00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:54,000
Speaker 3: hurt and anger will change the fact that we will

494
00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:56,560
Speaker 3: always be here and ready to provide you with stability.

495
00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:57,400
Speaker 2: That's a nice thing, dad.

496
00:20:57,560 --> 00:20:59,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, through all of this, I have so much love

497
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:02,600
Speaker 3: and respect for my husband that he turned out to

498
00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:05,880
Speaker 3: be such a wonderful person and partner despite his upbringing.

499
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:07,919
Speaker 3: He says that we all get to choose who we

500
00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:10,240
Speaker 3: want to be. But I think even that takes a

501
00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:12,320
Speaker 3: level of awareness that most people don't have.

502
00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:14,960
Speaker 5: But any who, in that case, I love who he

503
00:21:15,119 --> 00:21:18,880
Speaker 5: chooses to be. Oh what a sweet little note. That's

504
00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:22,879
Speaker 5: super cute. Show we adorable.

505
00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:25,800
Speaker 2: Little cutie pie type thing to say.

506
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:28,800
Speaker 5: Yeah, but we man the end.

507
00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:31,200
Speaker 3: I heard so many stories like obviously you know, I don't.

508
00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:33,160
Speaker 3: I don't think she's like in the place yet where

509
00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:35,280
Speaker 3: she needs to be like actively.

510
00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:36,760
Speaker 5: Taken care of. I mean, she is taking care of.

511
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:38,240
Speaker 3: But she doesn't need like a live in person to

512
00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:40,440
Speaker 3: take care of her something like that. But that's I've

513
00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:43,320
Speaker 3: just heard so many stories without being so difficult to

514
00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:44,800
Speaker 3: deal with your parents like that.

515
00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:47,919
Speaker 2: So it's just hard when they like don't have a

516
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:50,879
Speaker 2: job with whoever it is. Yeah, if you're like helping

517
00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:54,200
Speaker 2: somebody and they don't and they don't have any income, yeah,

518
00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:57,000
Speaker 2: it's just like, ah, are you trying right?

519
00:21:57,040 --> 00:21:59,480
Speaker 5: And then they're complaining about like things that they.

520
00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:00,720
Speaker 2: But you are sixty eight.

521
00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:05,080
Speaker 5: It's a complication. It's complicated. But anyway, that is the

522
00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:09,320
Speaker 5: end of that story. Is my mother in law destroyed

523
00:22:09,359 --> 00:22:13,439
Speaker 5: my eleven thousand dollars wedding dress because she wanted to

524
00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:19,879
Speaker 5: try it on. That's bad. I'm located in Virginia. I

525
00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:23,400
Speaker 5: purchased a wedding gown that costs me over eleven thousand dollars.

526
00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:26,360
Speaker 5: That's also crazy in general. Yeah, that's a lot of money.

527
00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:30,000
Speaker 5: Then paid substantially more in alterations. Over the weekend, my

528
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:32,760
Speaker 5: future mother in law decided to attempt to put on

529
00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:36,280
Speaker 5: my dress and failed horribly. How do you fail so

530
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:41,280
Speaker 5: badly that you like, irrevocably destroy this dress? By the way,

531
00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:43,879
Speaker 5: this comes from Administrative Maine seven And if you want

532
00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:46,000
Speaker 5: to spit your own stories, go to our slash Showkay storytime,

533
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:49,719
Speaker 5: separate it sure, long story short, It's beyond repair and

534
00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:51,360
Speaker 5: completely ruined. What did she do?

535
00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:54,080
Speaker 3: I'm guessing it just like didn't fit or something, and

536
00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:56,520
Speaker 3: so she just like ripped it or something crazy.

537
00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:59,040
Speaker 5: Yeah, I also have reason to believe that she caused

538
00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:01,760
Speaker 5: deliberate damnit to the dress because of certain areas that

539
00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:04,040
Speaker 5: were torn. My fiance doesn't believe that we're able to

540
00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:06,440
Speaker 5: take her to court and recoup the money because it's

541
00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:08,399
Speaker 5: just a dress, and he thinks the cost of the

542
00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:11,719
Speaker 5: dress doesn't meet some financial threshold to sue her. No,

543
00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:14,240
Speaker 5: I think it just has to be above ten thousand dollars.

544
00:23:14,359 --> 00:23:16,480
Speaker 5: I have no idea. Let us know in the chat.

545
00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:18,280
Speaker 5: In the chat put it down. I want to know

546
00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:20,159
Speaker 5: if that's true and if it would be feasible to

547
00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:22,400
Speaker 5: file a police report on her because of the more

548
00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:25,159
Speaker 5: deliberate damage. I know it's just a dress, but this

549
00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:27,920
Speaker 5: goes beyond the dress. Well, it's just an eleven thousand

550
00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:30,399
Speaker 5: dollars dress. It's not like it was like a fifty

551
00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:34,280
Speaker 5: dollars dress, right, right, It's an eleven thousand dollars dress.

552
00:23:34,359 --> 00:23:37,120
Speaker 5: I'm pretty sure you can go to at least small claims,

553
00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:40,240
Speaker 5: if not more. Update. Hey everyone, First of all, thank

554
00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:42,920
Speaker 5: you for all the sweet comments and support. I'm sorry

555
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:44,720
Speaker 5: that I haven't kept everyone in the loop, but the

556
00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:47,960
Speaker 5: last several weeks have been truly trying, to say the least.

557
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:53,720
Speaker 5: First things first, the wedding is off. Whoa whoa. Honestly

558
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,320
Speaker 5: a little bit. I mean, I know, not that surprising

559
00:23:56,359 --> 00:23:58,879
Speaker 5: given that the husband was like, it's just a dress. Yeah,

560
00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:00,440
Speaker 5: Like I feel like he would have been and more

561
00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:04,520
Speaker 5: on her side if right, you know, right, that's crazy though. Yeah,

562
00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:06,480
Speaker 5: that was quick. Let's hear about that. We are still

563
00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:10,120
Speaker 5: together and remain engaged. Okay, oh never mind. I spoke

564
00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:15,040
Speaker 5: to saybe you should have read. But things are very,

565
00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:17,960
Speaker 5: very strained between us. The only thing that has really

566
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:20,360
Speaker 5: stopped me from leaving this relationship is that I love

567
00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:22,159
Speaker 5: him from the bottom of my heart and I can

568
00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:24,240
Speaker 5: see how much this is hurting him. I really want

569
00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:26,680
Speaker 5: to work past this if we can. We're both committing

570
00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:29,360
Speaker 5: to seeing a couple's therapists. After future mother in law

571
00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:32,760
Speaker 5: ruined my dress, my fiance confronted her by telephone and

572
00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:35,359
Speaker 5: demanded that she help cover the damages to the dress.

573
00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:38,159
Speaker 5: She refused because she said it was an accident and

574
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:41,080
Speaker 5: she really was just trying to help. She literally tried

575
00:24:41,119 --> 00:24:44,240
Speaker 5: to spin this as her effing helping me by I

576
00:24:44,359 --> 00:24:48,000
Speaker 5: quote giving me a standard to aspire to. What standard?

577
00:24:48,040 --> 00:24:48,119
Speaker 2: What?

578
00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:50,399
Speaker 5: And she also think admitted that she just wanted to

579
00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:53,000
Speaker 5: feel as young and beautiful as me. The worst part

580
00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:56,520
Speaker 5: is that he believed her bs at this point, after

581
00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:59,399
Speaker 5: she refused to pay, I started pitching a fit until

582
00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:01,720
Speaker 5: fiance said that we shouldn't jump to conclusions on the

583
00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:05,160
Speaker 5: damage until we visited the seamstress. That is fair. That

584
00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:07,240
Speaker 5: is fair fine by me. We went together and the

585
00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:11,640
Speaker 5: assessment was that it was completely trashed. It is beyond repair.

586
00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:14,920
Speaker 5: I really would love to see the damages, because, wow,

587
00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:18,399
Speaker 5: the beating in some parts is absolutely destroyed. The sheer

588
00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:20,920
Speaker 5: back of the dress was torn to shreds from her

589
00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:24,320
Speaker 5: disgusting fake nails. She also ripped a tool on my train,

590
00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:26,960
Speaker 5: and the seams were split so badly, and she'd torn

591
00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:28,680
Speaker 5: through other parts of the dress to the point where

592
00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:29,920
Speaker 5: they were beyond repair.

593
00:25:30,119 --> 00:25:32,400
Speaker 2: That can't have been unintentional damage.

594
00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:35,639
Speaker 5: That's rough, all of that damage just from trying on

595
00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:40,040
Speaker 5: the like I believe ye, that feels very something's intentional,

596
00:25:40,119 --> 00:25:43,800
Speaker 5: something's smelling a little fishy. Hearing how badly my dress

597
00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:46,840
Speaker 5: was mutilated crushed me. But my fancy's reaction at the

598
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:50,240
Speaker 5: seamstress enraged me. He kept minimizing the damage, pointing out

599
00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:53,320
Speaker 5: how certain things absolutely could have been an accident. He

600
00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:56,160
Speaker 5: lied out of his butt to the seamstress, telling her

601
00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:58,680
Speaker 5: that the dress had an accident. When his mother attempted

602
00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:01,359
Speaker 5: to relive her model day, I corrected the course and

603
00:26:01,359 --> 00:26:03,240
Speaker 5: said no, that she tried to put it on without

604
00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:06,680
Speaker 5: my permission, knowing dang well that she didn't fit into it,

605
00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:10,560
Speaker 5: and deliberately destroyed parts of it in the process. The

606
00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:13,960
Speaker 5: real fun started when we got home. I told him

607
00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:16,160
Speaker 5: that if she didn't pay, then I wanted to sue

608
00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:18,080
Speaker 5: her for the damages to the dress. He told me

609
00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:20,360
Speaker 5: some bs about how the cost the dress didn't meet

610
00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:23,520
Speaker 5: the thresholds for a lawsuit. Okay, I took my butt

611
00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:26,359
Speaker 5: straight to the internet, posted to the legal advice subreddit,

612
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:29,720
Speaker 5: and googled the thresholds for small Claims court in Virginia

613
00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:32,679
Speaker 5: before printing all of the responses I got and forcing

614
00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:35,080
Speaker 5: him to read them. He conceded that she owed us

615
00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:37,480
Speaker 5: something and called her with me sitting there as I

616
00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:40,040
Speaker 5: sat there, I crap you not. He argued with her

617
00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:43,160
Speaker 5: for all of five minutes before she broke down sobbing,

618
00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:46,080
Speaker 5: accused him of not loving her, called me trash for

619
00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:48,359
Speaker 5: turning him against her, and how could money be so

620
00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:51,080
Speaker 5: important that her love for oh would be more important

621
00:26:51,119 --> 00:26:54,280
Speaker 5: than her love for him. He actually soothed her and

622
00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:57,119
Speaker 5: told her that he understood, but I'm being super emotional

623
00:26:57,160 --> 00:26:59,040
Speaker 5: over the dress and this would help it blow over.

624
00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:04,360
Speaker 5: Oh no, now, are you kidding me? You're throwing your

625
00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:08,320
Speaker 5: fyance under the bus. Yeah no, no, no, no, that's ridiculous.

626
00:27:08,359 --> 00:27:10,960
Speaker 5: Come on, like your mom is an adult, treat like one.

627
00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:14,600
Speaker 5: She made a mistake, intentional or otherwise. Yeah, and she

628
00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:16,360
Speaker 5: needs to own it for her actions.

629
00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:20,640
Speaker 3: Absolutely, this is just liatarily just see how she has

630
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:23,239
Speaker 3: She's just the type of person to never own up

631
00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:23,880
Speaker 3: to her mistakes.

632
00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:26,280
Speaker 5: And to like always manipulate the situation to give.

633
00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:29,200
Speaker 3: Any excuse to not do that, and then he's obviously

634
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:30,800
Speaker 3: learned from that as well.

635
00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:33,639
Speaker 5: He's just blaming it all on someone else. Very true.

636
00:27:33,840 --> 00:27:36,840
Speaker 5: My goodness. She started babbling and sobbing, and he said

637
00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:38,960
Speaker 5: that he'd talk to me after they hung up. He

638
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:41,080
Speaker 5: had the nerve to turn to me and say that

639
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:43,639
Speaker 5: all he wanted was peace and to please just let

640
00:27:43,760 --> 00:27:45,879
Speaker 5: him pay for the dress and let this go away.

641
00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:48,879
Speaker 5: I wonder if he's very wealthy, and that's why he

642
00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:51,600
Speaker 5: doesn't really care about the yeah money, He's just like,

643
00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:55,000
Speaker 5: I don't know, it's like eleven thousand dollars, no skin

644
00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:58,160
Speaker 5: off my bull. I lost it. I screamed at him.

645
00:27:58,240 --> 00:28:00,840
Speaker 5: I cried harder than I probably ever have cried, because

646
00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:03,360
Speaker 5: I honestly felt that he took her side over mine.

647
00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:06,119
Speaker 5: He's well, he's prioritizing her feelings at least.

648
00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:06,560
Speaker 2: Yeah.

649
00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:08,560
Speaker 5: I told him that it wasn't about the dress, and

650
00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:10,880
Speaker 5: that if he genuinely believed that this was over and

651
00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:13,679
Speaker 5: over priced stress at this point, then we needed to

652
00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:16,040
Speaker 5: cancel the wedding and he and his mommy could have

653
00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:20,080
Speaker 5: a nice vacation to Columbia. Without me. WHOA, that's where

654
00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:23,360
Speaker 5: we're going. Uh, that's where we're right now, right now.

655
00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:26,320
Speaker 5: We argued, and like he's been doing, told me that

656
00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:28,600
Speaker 5: he saw my point. I told him that I didn't

657
00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:31,280
Speaker 5: want her at the wedding. Shockingly, he agreed, Wow, I

658
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:33,680
Speaker 5: feel like he's trying to He's just saying whatever these

659
00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:35,399
Speaker 5: people want to hear, well, whatever he wants to hear,

660
00:28:35,440 --> 00:28:38,240
Speaker 5: and whatever his mom wants to hear. He's like, yeah, sure, yeah.

661
00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:39,920
Speaker 3: I mean, if this is someone that just wants to

662
00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:41,800
Speaker 3: keep the peace no matter what, he has got to

663
00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:43,320
Speaker 3: have no opinions for himself.

664
00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:45,040
Speaker 5: I sat next to him the next day when he

665
00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:47,200
Speaker 5: called her and told her that because of what happened,

666
00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:49,600
Speaker 5: we couldn't have her at the wedding. I actually felt

667
00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:52,080
Speaker 5: proud when he hung up on her after she screamed

668
00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:55,320
Speaker 5: and sobbed about how he couldn't do this. I began

669
00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:57,840
Speaker 5: to consider that maybe I was wrong about how he

670
00:28:57,880 --> 00:29:00,520
Speaker 5: refused to stand up to his mother. That is, until

671
00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:03,240
Speaker 5: I was on our shared iPad. I rarely use the

672
00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:05,960
Speaker 5: iPad because I'm way happier with my kindle, but I'll

673
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:08,200
Speaker 5: reach for the iPad in the rare event that my

674
00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:10,160
Speaker 5: Kindle is out of juice and my phone is out

675
00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:12,520
Speaker 5: of reach. While I was using it, what pops up

676
00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:15,800
Speaker 5: are messages from future mother in law asking about the

677
00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:19,920
Speaker 5: best way to purchase discounted flights to Columbia. I scrolled

678
00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:22,480
Speaker 5: through the messages and he had folded the very next day,

679
00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:24,840
Speaker 5: saying that he had disinvited her for my sake, but

680
00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:27,760
Speaker 5: still wanted her at the wedding. See exactly what I said.

681
00:29:27,840 --> 00:29:30,280
Speaker 5: He just tells them what they want to hear. Yeah,

682
00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:32,600
Speaker 5: but the second someone else asks, like, it's probably just

683
00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:34,760
Speaker 5: going to be ongoing back and forth. Oh yeah, that

684
00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:37,560
Speaker 5: he'd slowly work on changing my mind and hopefully on

685
00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:39,600
Speaker 5: the weekend of the wedding I'd be feeling forgiving and

686
00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:41,960
Speaker 5: welcome her, and if not, I could deal with it.

687
00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:46,560
Speaker 5: Day I lost my mother effing mind. I actually packed

688
00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:48,760
Speaker 5: my bags. He was the one that ended up leaving

689
00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:51,080
Speaker 5: to stay with his friend while I stayed in the house.

690
00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:54,680
Speaker 5: The fight wasn't pretty, oh now, and that's about where

691
00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:58,040
Speaker 5: we are right now. We have both committed to couple's counseling.

692
00:29:58,400 --> 00:29:59,280
Speaker 2: You definitely need that.

693
00:29:59,440 --> 00:30:01,920
Speaker 5: It's a lie. I feel played right now, And that's

694
00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:04,720
Speaker 5: what he was trying to do play both sides. Yep,

695
00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:08,400
Speaker 5: he is a people pleaser for sure. We both agree

696
00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:09,800
Speaker 5: that the best thing to do for us is to

697
00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:13,520
Speaker 5: postpone the wedding until trust is re established. Deposits be danged,

698
00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:16,440
Speaker 5: and if anyone asks, I tell them the entire story.

699
00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:18,640
Speaker 5: Future mother in law has decided to come between us

700
00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:20,480
Speaker 5: in the worst way. Future mother in law, for the

701
00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:23,240
Speaker 5: most part, is fuming and trying to spin this into

702
00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:26,720
Speaker 5: me being a trashy, greedy harpie that's determined to bring

703
00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:29,920
Speaker 5: her in a precious baby, nothing but misery. She's tried

704
00:30:29,920 --> 00:30:32,920
Speaker 5: to come to our house several times to collect her

705
00:30:32,960 --> 00:30:36,600
Speaker 5: baby and his belongings, but I haven't answered the door. Fiance,

706
00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:39,000
Speaker 5: to his credit, has blocked her on his phone and

707
00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:41,600
Speaker 5: hasn't told her where he's living. Right now, he's gone

708
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:44,360
Speaker 5: no contact and has agreed to no contact until we

709
00:30:44,480 --> 00:30:49,160
Speaker 5: begin therapy. Wow. Wow, what a switch from inviting her

710
00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:52,479
Speaker 5: to the wedding again and then going no contact. Yeah,

711
00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:56,120
Speaker 5: he's just he's really gotten no opinion himself. Yeah, no

712
00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:58,720
Speaker 5: spine on this guy. He's turned over all of his

713
00:30:58,800 --> 00:31:01,360
Speaker 5: passwords and the iPad so I can check his messages

714
00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:03,640
Speaker 5: when I want to, and trust me I'm checking. I

715
00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:05,200
Speaker 5: love him, I want to be able to go to

716
00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:07,640
Speaker 5: the distance with him, but while future mother in law

717
00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:09,440
Speaker 5: is in the picture, I just don't think I can.

718
00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:12,040
Speaker 5: For F's sake, I'm looking through his email accounts and

719
00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:14,840
Speaker 5: messages for contact from his mother. I can't even begin

720
00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:17,680
Speaker 5: to explain just how fed up this is. Sorry for

721
00:31:17,720 --> 00:31:20,480
Speaker 5: the long post. Please wish us luck in therapy. I'm

722
00:31:20,520 --> 00:31:22,720
Speaker 5: having a hard time keeping my hopes up. This has

723
00:31:22,760 --> 00:31:25,520
Speaker 5: been the worst month. And there is an update, But

724
00:31:25,600 --> 00:31:26,760
Speaker 5: do you have any thoughts?

725
00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:29,840
Speaker 3: That's just that's just rough. It really is those like

726
00:31:29,920 --> 00:31:32,920
Speaker 3: small things that do like say a lot about who

727
00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:36,640
Speaker 3: you are and that could like it feels like a

728
00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:39,200
Speaker 3: at service level. It feels like a small situation to

729
00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:41,760
Speaker 3: like have such a dispute in your marriage.

730
00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:43,040
Speaker 5: Or or soon to be marriage about.

731
00:31:43,080 --> 00:31:45,960
Speaker 3: But like at the same time, she's really not being

732
00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:48,960
Speaker 3: listened to, yeah at all, I mean yeah again, he's

733
00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:51,800
Speaker 3: just flip flopping exactly. Honestly, I feel like if the

734
00:31:51,960 --> 00:31:55,040
Speaker 3: you know, he says he's going no contact now, but yeah,

735
00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:56,400
Speaker 3: how long is that could last?

736
00:31:56,560 --> 00:31:56,800
Speaker 2: Right?

737
00:31:56,880 --> 00:31:57,080
Speaker 5: You know?

738
00:31:57,400 --> 00:31:57,640
Speaker 2: Right?

739
00:31:57,680 --> 00:32:01,120
Speaker 5: But there is another update. I think it definitely is

740
00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:03,920
Speaker 5: a good idea that they postpone the marriage though, for sure,

741
00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:06,960
Speaker 5: for sure do that until you're really secure in relationship.

742
00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:09,760
Speaker 5: This has been the cherry to top off a not

743
00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:13,880
Speaker 5: so fabulous week. To everyone that so bashed my husband

744
00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:16,520
Speaker 5: private messaged me to tell me how weak pathetic I am.

745
00:32:16,640 --> 00:32:19,040
Speaker 5: Tell me I'm stupid. Trust me. You think I don't

746
00:32:19,080 --> 00:32:21,000
Speaker 5: get how this looks to other people. He isn't getting

747
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:22,120
Speaker 5: away with anything.

748
00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:22,520
Speaker 2: I know.

749
00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:25,400
Speaker 5: Seeking help and counseling looks stupid to other people, but

750
00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:28,760
Speaker 5: it's my relationship. Please respect that. Also to the vicious

751
00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:31,479
Speaker 5: people that are reading my posts and then immediately posting

752
00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:33,800
Speaker 5: them to Facebook, Slash, other websites so they can post

753
00:32:33,880 --> 00:32:36,440
Speaker 5: nasty things and try and figure out my identity, there

754
00:32:36,480 --> 00:32:38,719
Speaker 5: is a special place in Heck for you. If this

755
00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:41,280
Speaker 5: keeps up, I can't post here anymore. I have too

756
00:32:41,360 --> 00:32:43,160
Speaker 5: many people that are reaching out to me trying to

757
00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:46,000
Speaker 5: guess my identity, future mother in law's identity, and it's

758
00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:49,560
Speaker 5: becoming extremely stressful. The only reason I'm posting here is

759
00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:51,840
Speaker 5: to ask other ladies here for advice on dealing with

760
00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:56,000
Speaker 5: future mother in law that's getting increasingly aggressive. There's several

761
00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:58,400
Speaker 5: new things to report, one being that my fiance is

762
00:32:58,520 --> 00:33:01,320
Speaker 5: kept his end of the bargain. He's had no contact

763
00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:04,200
Speaker 5: with future mother in law. How do I know? I'm

764
00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:07,840
Speaker 5: religiously checking his accounts. And she's also losing her mind.

765
00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:10,120
Speaker 5: This week, I've woken up to the following. My ring

766
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:12,680
Speaker 5: app has gone off four times, all at odd hours

767
00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:14,640
Speaker 5: of the night. It's her. I have footage of her

768
00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:19,440
Speaker 5: shoving notes under my door. Okay, a nasty note shoved

769
00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:21,960
Speaker 5: under the door, demanding to talk to my fiance, accusing

770
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:24,000
Speaker 5: me of driving a wedge between them. And they're also

771
00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:27,680
Speaker 5: in like magazine cutout letters. Yeah. Yeah, She's like, sah,

772
00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:31,520
Speaker 5: you have four days, please send my son home. Text

773
00:33:31,600 --> 00:33:35,040
Speaker 5: messages asking me why I'm forbidding contact between my fiance

774
00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:37,360
Speaker 5: and his mother and how unnatural it is to stop

775
00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:39,880
Speaker 5: a son from seeing his mom. I'm going to burn

776
00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:42,560
Speaker 5: in heck, and I'm disgrace to womanhood. She's come to

777
00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:45,400
Speaker 5: my work when I refuse to see her, security escorted

778
00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:47,680
Speaker 5: her out. When I pulled out of the parking garage,

779
00:33:47,720 --> 00:33:50,440
Speaker 5: I saw her waiting by the employee entrance. Oh, she's

780
00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:53,720
Speaker 5: stalking you. Now, that's terrifying. Fiance and I typically go

781
00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:56,920
Speaker 5: shopping on Wednesday nights. She knows this because she's gone

782
00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:59,280
Speaker 5: with us a couple of times. Guess who was waiting

783
00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:02,320
Speaker 5: for us in the parking lot at seven pm. She's

784
00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:06,080
Speaker 5: full stocking boy wow. Wow. We didn't get out of

785
00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:08,720
Speaker 5: the car after we saw her pacing around the entrance.

786
00:34:09,040 --> 00:34:14,840
Speaker 5: And we want you to enter watching full episodes with

787
00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:18,520
Speaker 5: stories just like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts,

788
00:34:18,560 --> 00:34:22,040
Speaker 5: or your favorite podcast. Happen story Time. Just enter that

789
00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:25,440
Speaker 5: enter okay story time, And we want you to enter

790
00:34:25,520 --> 00:34:29,760
Speaker 5: okay story time into your favorite podcast. Go Spotify, Apple

791
00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:34,279
Speaker 5: podcast or whatever. There we go, and there is a

792
00:34:34,320 --> 00:34:37,680
Speaker 5: little bit left to the story. But oh my goodness,

793
00:34:37,760 --> 00:34:41,760
Speaker 5: down off the rails. Yeah, fiance definitely needs to cut

794
00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:44,879
Speaker 5: her off, maybe for the long like in the long

795
00:34:44,920 --> 00:34:49,640
Speaker 5: run too, yeah, or just like I don't know, hey mom,

796
00:34:50,239 --> 00:34:52,959
Speaker 5: stop it. Yeah, because final fun.

797
00:34:53,040 --> 00:34:55,520
Speaker 3: It just feels like a big jump from like, you know,

798
00:34:55,719 --> 00:34:58,600
Speaker 3: okay mom, like I'm sorry to be like okay, bye,

799
00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:01,600
Speaker 3: I don't talk to you all anymore. It's like whoa, whoa, whoa,

800
00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:05,920
Speaker 3: whoa whoa. That's way way too like extreme mm hmm.

801
00:35:06,160 --> 00:35:06,440
Speaker 2: Yeah.

802
00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:09,320
Speaker 5: Now she's shown a lot of extreme behavior too. Yeah,

803
00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:13,560
Speaker 5: I'm documenting everything just in case she continues to get crazier. Fiancen,

804
00:35:13,560 --> 00:35:15,719
Speaker 5: I will be going to the local PD tomorrow to

805
00:35:15,719 --> 00:35:18,719
Speaker 5: file report and look into getting a temporary restraining order.

806
00:35:18,719 --> 00:35:21,280
Speaker 5: Thank you to everyone that's offered me kind words, support

807
00:35:21,480 --> 00:35:24,520
Speaker 5: and even big goods. You guys are wonderful. I really

808
00:35:24,560 --> 00:35:28,920
Speaker 5: appreciate you. And that is the end of that story. Wow.

809
00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:33,040
Speaker 5: Wow ee wow, what a crazy wow wow. I really

810
00:35:33,080 --> 00:35:36,120
Speaker 5: need to know some facts. You need to know. One

811
00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:38,160
Speaker 5: who pay for the dress originally? Yes?

812
00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:39,120
Speaker 2: Are they rich?

813
00:35:39,160 --> 00:35:41,040
Speaker 5: Because it seems like they might. I mean, I feel

814
00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:42,919
Speaker 5: like if you're paying for an eleven thousand dollars dress,

815
00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:45,280
Speaker 5: that's a lot. You gotta be rid. I'm like, three

816
00:35:45,320 --> 00:35:47,520
Speaker 5: thousand is a lot. Yeah, Now you've got to be

817
00:35:47,560 --> 00:35:49,160
Speaker 5: a little gotta have a little money.

818
00:35:49,239 --> 00:35:49,479
Speaker 2: Yeah.

819
00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:52,439
Speaker 5: But I think for ope's say, cutting the mother off

820
00:35:52,560 --> 00:35:55,120
Speaker 5: is probably I feel like this is not the first

821
00:35:55,120 --> 00:35:57,480
Speaker 5: time that this behavior has been there. Yeah, it's just

822
00:35:57,520 --> 00:36:00,839
Speaker 5: the first time. It's probably direct like affected oh so much,

823
00:36:01,120 --> 00:36:03,880
Speaker 5: right with like the direct impact of the dress being run. Yeah,

824
00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:07,080
Speaker 5: but that is the end of that story.

825
00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:09,160
Speaker 1: John here, we're gonna get back to this juicy story,

826
00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:11,480
Speaker 1: but a quick three minute break of ads from our sponsors.

827
00:36:11,840 --> 00:36:14,920
Speaker 5: I banished my late mother's boyfriend after eight years of

828
00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:17,279
Speaker 5: free rent because he lied about me.

829
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:19,520
Speaker 2: My banish thee.

830
00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:24,000
Speaker 5: Just like that. When I was seventeen, my mother came

831
00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:26,640
Speaker 5: into money. She tried to keep it quiet, but she

832
00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:29,360
Speaker 5: paid off my dad's debts, bought him a small house,

833
00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:32,320
Speaker 5: paid off her debts, and paid for my sister's college,

834
00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:34,640
Speaker 5: and set up funds for mine. She had a boyfriend

835
00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:37,160
Speaker 5: at the time, and shortly after him and his son,

836
00:36:37,200 --> 00:36:39,960
Speaker 5: who was seven, moved into our new house.

837
00:36:40,160 --> 00:36:41,440
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from not.

838
00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:43,560
Speaker 5: Willing to share, and if you want to submit your

839
00:36:43,560 --> 00:36:45,759
Speaker 5: own stories, go to our slashokey story time subverured it

840
00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:49,240
Speaker 5: so over the next few years, Mom bought my sister

841
00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:52,800
Speaker 5: a house wow. After she graduated to college. Her boyfriend

842
00:36:52,840 --> 00:36:56,520
Speaker 5: lived with us and didn't pay anything, but he did work.

843
00:36:57,120 --> 00:36:59,800
Speaker 5: When I was twenty one, Mom got diagnosed with cancer.

844
00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:02,960
Speaker 5: It wasn't good. She sat me and my sister down

845
00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:06,080
Speaker 5: and went over exactly how much money there was. She

846
00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:09,200
Speaker 5: intended to give her current house to me, and both

847
00:37:09,200 --> 00:37:11,560
Speaker 5: me and my sister were left with a large sum.

848
00:37:11,719 --> 00:37:14,000
Speaker 5: At the end of it. She asked if I would

849
00:37:14,040 --> 00:37:16,319
Speaker 5: allow her boyfriend to stay in the house with his

850
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:19,520
Speaker 5: son until he got his own place. I agreed there

851
00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:22,200
Speaker 5: should have been like some sort of like not forever

852
00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:24,640
Speaker 5: though like a mom.

853
00:37:24,960 --> 00:37:28,560
Speaker 2: Also no, also no, no, so that's a time at all?

854
00:37:28,760 --> 00:37:30,200
Speaker 2: Is that? No?

855
00:37:30,719 --> 00:37:33,040
Speaker 5: Before she passed, she told her boyfriend he would need

856
00:37:33,080 --> 00:37:35,200
Speaker 5: to look for his own place, but had time to

857
00:37:35,239 --> 00:37:38,560
Speaker 5: save more for that journey. For the last four years,

858
00:37:39,040 --> 00:37:41,759
Speaker 5: he has continued to reside in the house with his son.

859
00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:44,719
Speaker 5: I haven't minded, because we get along. Okay. I pay

860
00:37:44,760 --> 00:37:46,719
Speaker 5: all the bills, but he does buy food for him

861
00:37:46,719 --> 00:37:52,839
Speaker 5: and his kid. No, no, what, No, This isn't your boyfriend.

862
00:37:53,120 --> 00:37:58,000
Speaker 5: This is your mom's boyfriend. They weren't even married mom's boyfriend.

863
00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:00,200
Speaker 7: If I was your mom's.

864
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:02,200
Speaker 5: She is dated off and on and mostly kept the

865
00:38:02,200 --> 00:38:04,200
Speaker 5: women out of the house, which I respected him for

866
00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:06,480
Speaker 5: until his current partner bro.

867
00:38:06,600 --> 00:38:10,520
Speaker 2: But literally, if you're gonna live in the house of

868
00:38:10,520 --> 00:38:14,000
Speaker 2: your of your of your decessive friend, you're not gonna

869
00:38:14,040 --> 00:38:18,040
Speaker 2: be Dayton. She in that house? Are you insane?

870
00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:20,319
Speaker 5: She's been in my house three times, and at first,

871
00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:22,680
Speaker 5: besides feeling a little uncomfortable, I was okay with her.

872
00:38:23,280 --> 00:38:26,239
Speaker 5: Last time. This past weekend was the point where I

873
00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:29,560
Speaker 5: lost my crap. I was making myself some lunch. When

874
00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:32,759
Speaker 5: she came walking downstairs, she grabbed a plate and went

875
00:38:32,760 --> 00:38:35,080
Speaker 5: to grab food out of my pan. I asked her

876
00:38:35,160 --> 00:38:37,960
Speaker 5: what she thought she was doing. She started telling me

877
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:39,920
Speaker 5: how I should look for somewhere else to live and

878
00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:43,800
Speaker 5: leeching off my deceased mom's past relationship as an adult

879
00:38:43,880 --> 00:38:44,480
Speaker 5: was pathetic.

880
00:38:44,880 --> 00:38:46,840
Speaker 2: What else she's been lying to?

881
00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:52,080
Speaker 5: Mmm? So the boyfriend's been freaking lying? Had she been

882
00:38:52,080 --> 00:38:54,200
Speaker 5: saying that this is his I's been saying that this

883
00:38:54,239 --> 00:38:56,080
Speaker 5: is his house and that he's just been like nice

884
00:38:56,080 --> 00:38:58,120
Speaker 5: and like letting ope live there.

885
00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:01,360
Speaker 2: Can you imagine being that? Can you imagine being that pathetic?

886
00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:05,719
Speaker 2: I can't possibly imagine that. I can imagine on a

887
00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:08,520
Speaker 2: level of patheticness. Yeah, no, get him out of there.

888
00:39:09,120 --> 00:39:12,320
Speaker 5: I hollered for my mom's old boyfriend. He came down,

889
00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:15,920
Speaker 5: and I told him I didn't know what he currently thought,

890
00:39:16,080 --> 00:39:18,920
Speaker 5: but I wasn't going to be disrespected in my house.

891
00:39:19,200 --> 00:39:20,040
Speaker 2: He wouldn't even.

892
00:39:19,840 --> 00:39:21,919
Speaker 5: Look me in the eyes as he mumbled something about

893
00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:24,200
Speaker 5: my mom promising him the house and he was just

894
00:39:24,239 --> 00:39:25,480
Speaker 5: being kind letting.

895
00:39:25,239 --> 00:39:28,040
Speaker 2: Me stay first. That isn't remotely true.

896
00:39:28,520 --> 00:39:31,040
Speaker 5: Mom pulled him and I together after she asked if

897
00:39:31,040 --> 00:39:33,920
Speaker 5: he could stay to set expectations. My mom met him

898
00:39:33,960 --> 00:39:36,399
Speaker 5: shortly before she won the money and told him and

899
00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:37,680
Speaker 5: us girls that she had.

900
00:39:37,560 --> 00:39:39,560
Speaker 2: No intention of leaving the money.

901
00:39:39,680 --> 00:39:41,560
Speaker 5: She did set aside a fund for his son for

902
00:39:41,640 --> 00:39:44,120
Speaker 5: college when he gets there, but he cannot touch it.

903
00:39:44,520 --> 00:39:46,680
Speaker 5: Only his son can. He has lived in this house

904
00:39:46,719 --> 00:39:49,520
Speaker 5: almost eight years without paying a dime. He should have

905
00:39:49,640 --> 00:39:52,960
Speaker 5: plenty of money, and if he doesn't, that's on him.

906
00:39:53,480 --> 00:39:56,000
Speaker 5: I told him he had thirty days to leave. I

907
00:39:56,080 --> 00:39:58,600
Speaker 5: wasn't going to house someone who would lie and disrespect

908
00:39:58,600 --> 00:40:01,640
Speaker 5: me in my house. He left that night with his son,

909
00:40:01,840 --> 00:40:04,480
Speaker 5: but his ex wife called to tell me I'm cruel

910
00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:06,760
Speaker 5: and an a hole for her son losing his house.

911
00:40:07,280 --> 00:40:12,960
Speaker 5: He's here every other week. What you housum girl? You

912
00:40:13,160 --> 00:40:17,520
Speaker 5: house em Oh, he has no relation to any of

913
00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:20,880
Speaker 5: the people living in her house. I really feel like

914
00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:23,120
Speaker 5: my mom didn't expect him to still be here. But

915
00:40:23,160 --> 00:40:25,480
Speaker 5: my sister said she feels like I'm breaking my promise

916
00:40:25,520 --> 00:40:27,320
Speaker 5: to my mom, and that made me feel like maybe

917
00:40:27,320 --> 00:40:29,720
Speaker 5: I'm the a hole. No, you're not the a hole, Obie,

918
00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:30,719
Speaker 5: You're not the a hole.

919
00:40:30,760 --> 00:40:32,960
Speaker 2: He's been living here for four years. That's ridiculous. A

920
00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:36,239
Speaker 2: grown man who was never married to your mom and

921
00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:42,120
Speaker 2: never paying rent out for free for almost a decade.

922
00:40:42,080 --> 00:40:45,520
Speaker 5: Comments good advice, love men, not the a hole. The

923
00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:47,480
Speaker 5: critical part here is that your mom asked you to

924
00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:49,440
Speaker 5: let him stay until he got his own place, and

925
00:40:49,480 --> 00:40:52,120
Speaker 5: to give him time to find one in that time.

926
00:40:52,520 --> 00:40:55,200
Speaker 5: Instead of looking to move somewhere else, he continued to

927
00:40:55,239 --> 00:40:57,120
Speaker 5: settle into life in the house, to the point where

928
00:40:57,160 --> 00:40:59,560
Speaker 5: he even started bringing a new girlfriend along.

929
00:41:00,239 --> 00:41:02,319
Speaker 2: He moved on, but didn't move out.

930
00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:04,920
Speaker 5: Him lying to her and telling her this was his

931
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:07,200
Speaker 5: house tells you everything you need to know about his

932
00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:11,120
Speaker 5: actual intentions to leave you. Punting him out wasn't abrupt.

933
00:41:11,520 --> 00:41:13,960
Speaker 5: The clock had run out on your mother's kindness and

934
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:16,960
Speaker 5: your obligation to her a long time ago, and he

935
00:41:17,080 --> 00:41:20,759
Speaker 5: was living there on generously borrowed time. Ninjet eight four

936
00:41:20,840 --> 00:41:23,759
Speaker 5: seven says Op's mom probably expected it to be a

937
00:41:23,800 --> 00:41:26,480
Speaker 5: month or two, since he's working but has no living

938
00:41:26,520 --> 00:41:29,840
Speaker 5: expenses and didn't during their relationship, not four years. Where

939
00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:32,080
Speaker 5: the heck is his money going if he can't get

940
00:41:32,080 --> 00:41:35,399
Speaker 5: his own place. Useful Language twenty forty says he had

941
00:41:35,440 --> 00:41:38,640
Speaker 5: at least four years to say before Ope's mother passed away,

942
00:41:39,040 --> 00:41:41,759
Speaker 5: Plus the four years since then, he has only been

943
00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:45,000
Speaker 5: paying for food and presumably his phone, car, insurance, fuel,

944
00:41:45,040 --> 00:41:48,719
Speaker 5: ETCA in that time. He should have incredibly healthy savings,

945
00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:51,600
Speaker 5: especially as he was living with his sister to save.

946
00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:52,560
Speaker 2: Up before that.

947
00:41:52,560 --> 00:41:55,239
Speaker 5: That mother probably thought that he'd take a month or

948
00:41:55,280 --> 00:41:57,400
Speaker 5: two degree he spend a month or four looking in

949
00:41:57,440 --> 00:42:00,520
Speaker 5: earnest and be out of Opea's hair within the year. Yes,

950
00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:02,200
Speaker 5: and even that is like.

951
00:42:02,560 --> 00:42:05,760
Speaker 2: Pretty way too much for boyfriend. Yeah, come on, I'm sorry.

952
00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:08,879
Speaker 5: Like if he was saving, say, fifteen hundred dollars per

953
00:42:08,880 --> 00:42:11,480
Speaker 5: month while the mother was live, rent plus utilities and

954
00:42:11,560 --> 00:42:15,120
Speaker 5: council tax local equivalent on a two bedhouse slash flat

955
00:42:15,560 --> 00:42:18,040
Speaker 5: as has to be at least that pretty much everywhere

956
00:42:18,080 --> 00:42:21,000
Speaker 5: in what sounds like the US, right that be fifteen

957
00:42:21,080 --> 00:42:25,040
Speaker 5: hundred times twelve times four seventy two thousand dollars before

958
00:42:25,080 --> 00:42:28,239
Speaker 5: she passed the same again since then and whatever he

959
00:42:28,320 --> 00:42:31,080
Speaker 5: had beforehand, of course he could afford to move out

960
00:42:31,080 --> 00:42:34,440
Speaker 5: straight away. Dude should have a good one hundred and

961
00:42:34,480 --> 00:42:37,520
Speaker 5: fifty thousand minimum sitting in his bank account. That's most

962
00:42:37,560 --> 00:42:39,920
Speaker 5: definitely screw this. I'm off to a hotel to complain

963
00:42:39,960 --> 00:42:42,000
Speaker 5: to people who I can tell a very slanted version

964
00:42:42,040 --> 00:42:44,400
Speaker 5: of the story, too. Money curious, Brad says, if it

965
00:42:44,440 --> 00:42:47,600
Speaker 5: happened exactly how you said, you're not the ale. If

966
00:42:47,640 --> 00:42:49,439
Speaker 5: she did say he had time to say but would

967
00:42:49,480 --> 00:42:51,160
Speaker 5: need to look for his own place, that means she

968
00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:54,560
Speaker 5: never imagined or wanted him staying so long, so you're

969
00:42:54,600 --> 00:42:57,920
Speaker 5: breaking no promises. Did she leave him any money or assets?

970
00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:00,160
Speaker 5: It's totally possible that your mother would be living if

971
00:43:00,160 --> 00:43:02,040
Speaker 5: she knew her boyfriend was still living with her son

972
00:43:02,480 --> 00:43:05,840
Speaker 5: after four years and hope, he says. No. She created

973
00:43:05,840 --> 00:43:08,080
Speaker 5: a fund for his son for his college, but that

974
00:43:08,239 --> 00:43:10,560
Speaker 5: was the only money set aside for him or his son.

975
00:43:10,719 --> 00:43:13,040
Speaker 5: It's a generous amount enough for four years at a

976
00:43:13,080 --> 00:43:16,279
Speaker 5: high dollar school. Anything not used for school will be

977
00:43:16,360 --> 00:43:18,640
Speaker 5: given to him on his twenty fifth birthday. From what

978
00:43:18,680 --> 00:43:21,080
Speaker 5: I believe she told me, a lawyer and accountant are

979
00:43:21,080 --> 00:43:23,360
Speaker 5: in charge of those funds, not me or my sister.

980
00:43:23,880 --> 00:43:26,720
Speaker 5: So I only know what she told us before she passed.

981
00:43:26,840 --> 00:43:29,880
Speaker 5: She was never married to or even engaged to her boyfriend.

982
00:43:30,480 --> 00:43:32,719
Speaker 5: He lived with his sister and was saving for his

983
00:43:32,760 --> 00:43:35,000
Speaker 5: own house when Mom met him. Him moving in with

984
00:43:35,080 --> 00:43:37,920
Speaker 5: us was supposed to be temporary and allow him to

985
00:43:37,960 --> 00:43:40,239
Speaker 5: save to buy his dream home, but he never left.

986
00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:43,359
Speaker 5: My mom was like that though. She had a big heart,

987
00:43:43,440 --> 00:43:47,480
Speaker 5: and sometimes people took advantage of that, especially after the

988
00:43:47,520 --> 00:43:50,640
Speaker 5: money she brought him down. She bought him a brand

989
00:43:50,680 --> 00:43:53,960
Speaker 5: new truck when his car broke down, but beyond that

990
00:43:54,120 --> 00:43:57,200
Speaker 5: and smaller gifts like TV, computer, etc. For birthdays and

991
00:43:57,239 --> 00:43:59,640
Speaker 5: holiday gifts, she did not leave him money. They had

992
00:43:59,640 --> 00:44:02,200
Speaker 5: no joint accounts. My mom paid for everything, and he

993
00:44:02,280 --> 00:44:04,560
Speaker 5: was supposed to be saving for a house the whole

994
00:44:04,640 --> 00:44:09,520
Speaker 5: time they were together. Loved Nenna says, sweetheart, you're not

995
00:44:09,600 --> 00:44:12,239
Speaker 5: the able. First, I'm sorry. I'm sixty three years old

996
00:44:12,239 --> 00:44:14,839
Speaker 5: and lost my mom two years ago. You are the

997
00:44:14,840 --> 00:44:16,759
Speaker 5: only one who knows if you're telling the truth. It

998
00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:19,520
Speaker 5: seems very plausible to me. But if he was already

999
00:44:19,560 --> 00:44:21,399
Speaker 5: saving money for a house when he met your mom,

1000
00:44:21,520 --> 00:44:23,680
Speaker 5: then lived four years with her and another four years

1001
00:44:23,719 --> 00:44:27,239
Speaker 5: with you, that man is just a loser. Is there

1002
00:44:27,280 --> 00:44:28,920
Speaker 5: any way your dad could come stay with you the

1003
00:44:28,920 --> 00:44:31,239
Speaker 5: week he moves out. The first thing you need to

1004
00:44:31,280 --> 00:44:33,480
Speaker 5: do is change all of the locks and get yourself

1005
00:44:33,520 --> 00:44:36,680
Speaker 5: some sort of security system. Please don't feel bad for

1006
00:44:36,760 --> 00:44:39,399
Speaker 5: making him leave. It seems to me that your mom

1007
00:44:39,480 --> 00:44:42,479
Speaker 5: was really smart and planned things out very carefully, being

1008
00:44:42,480 --> 00:44:44,280
Speaker 5: that he had already lived with her for four years.

1009
00:44:44,360 --> 00:44:46,640
Speaker 5: I agree with the commenters who say she was probably

1010
00:44:46,680 --> 00:44:50,080
Speaker 5: thinking a month or two, not years. If your sister

1011
00:44:50,120 --> 00:44:52,040
Speaker 5: makes any more comments than you can tell her she's

1012
00:44:52,120 --> 00:44:53,319
Speaker 5: welcome to let him live with her.

1013
00:44:54,040 --> 00:44:57,040
Speaker 2: Exactly exactly, Yes, exactly again, So.

1014
00:44:57,080 --> 00:44:58,960
Speaker 5: Sorry for your loss. Please make sure you're safe and

1015
00:44:59,000 --> 00:45:01,720
Speaker 5: take care of yourself. And Opie says, thank you so much.

1016
00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:04,000
Speaker 5: My mom was the sweetest person, and when I was

1017
00:45:04,040 --> 00:45:06,000
Speaker 5: a teenager, I feel like I was a nightmare to her.

1018
00:45:06,520 --> 00:45:08,239
Speaker 5: I am thankful I was much better in my late

1019
00:45:08,239 --> 00:45:11,120
Speaker 5: teens and twenty twenty one, so she got to see

1020
00:45:11,120 --> 00:45:14,040
Speaker 5: me mature a little bit before she passed. I wasn't

1021
00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:16,440
Speaker 5: always the best daughter, but she was always the best mom.

1022
00:45:16,560 --> 00:45:17,520
Speaker 2: Oh.

1023
00:45:17,640 --> 00:45:19,600
Speaker 5: I think part of him letting him stay so long

1024
00:45:19,719 --> 00:45:21,960
Speaker 5: is having bonded with the sun. But also I liked

1025
00:45:21,960 --> 00:45:24,840
Speaker 5: having someone else around who loved my mom too. There

1026
00:45:24,880 --> 00:45:26,600
Speaker 5: were nights I would wake up from a nightmare and

1027
00:45:26,680 --> 00:45:28,520
Speaker 5: end up in the kitchen and he would hear me

1028
00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:31,160
Speaker 5: and just come make a cup of coffee and sit

1029
00:45:31,200 --> 00:45:34,399
Speaker 5: and share a story about her. His son loved mom too,

1030
00:45:34,440 --> 00:45:36,439
Speaker 5: and some evenings we would get take out and watch

1031
00:45:36,480 --> 00:45:38,799
Speaker 5: movies and joke about what commentary my mom would have

1032
00:45:38,840 --> 00:45:39,480
Speaker 5: had if she.

1033
00:45:39,440 --> 00:45:42,000
Speaker 2: Had seen the movie with us day.

1034
00:45:42,840 --> 00:45:44,960
Speaker 5: My sister lives a state away, so we really only

1035
00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:47,799
Speaker 5: see each other once a month or so. I liked

1036
00:45:47,880 --> 00:45:50,759
Speaker 5: not being alone in this big house. I do have

1037
00:45:50,840 --> 00:45:53,080
Speaker 5: security system and the locks have been changed. She is

1038
00:45:53,120 --> 00:45:57,320
Speaker 5: coming over tomorrow to get his stuff and that. But yeah,

1039
00:45:57,400 --> 00:45:59,600
Speaker 5: I mean it might have been good for some time,

1040
00:45:59,719 --> 00:46:02,360
Speaker 5: but I really don't know him anything now. This is

1041
00:46:02,400 --> 00:46:04,440
Speaker 5: an adult man who has a lot of hopefully it

1042
00:46:04,480 --> 00:46:07,399
Speaker 5: should have a lot of savings. Uh, and he needs

1043
00:46:07,440 --> 00:46:09,600
Speaker 5: to figure it out himself. He can't be relying on

1044
00:46:09,880 --> 00:46:14,840
Speaker 5: your mom or you ya, your mom's money forever.

1045
00:46:15,239 --> 00:46:19,160
Speaker 2: Yeah. He just sounds like a little a little leech,

1046
00:46:19,320 --> 00:46:24,359
Speaker 2: a little parasite that is latched on. Indeed, and regardless

1047
00:46:24,400 --> 00:46:29,400
Speaker 2: of the grief y'all shared, at this point, everything that

1048
00:46:29,480 --> 00:46:31,759
Speaker 2: he's ever done now is called into question because he's

1049
00:46:31,800 --> 00:46:33,480
Speaker 2: lying about the house. So it was the grief a

1050
00:46:33,560 --> 00:46:36,520
Speaker 2: way to manipulate you into being more in your graces.

1051
00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:41,600
Speaker 2: Now you will never know because he has shattered the reality,

1052
00:46:41,760 --> 00:46:44,080
Speaker 2: you know by being like, yeah, I wonder when she's

1053
00:46:44,080 --> 00:46:45,080
Speaker 2: going to get out of my house.

1054
00:46:45,560 --> 00:46:48,880
Speaker 5: Ugh, just a disgusting what Also, it seems like you

1055
00:46:48,920 --> 00:46:50,680
Speaker 5: weren't you weren't even going to kick him out before

1056
00:46:50,719 --> 00:46:52,880
Speaker 5: that happened, like you were so chill. And then he

1057
00:46:52,880 --> 00:46:54,719
Speaker 5: had the audacity to say this and it.

1058
00:46:54,719 --> 00:46:56,560
Speaker 2: Was for the kid, and he probably knew that he

1059
00:46:56,600 --> 00:46:59,880
Speaker 2: was weaponizing his kid too. Yeah, you know, people like

1060
00:46:59,880 --> 00:47:02,200
Speaker 2: that guy know how to be a little, a little

1061
00:47:02,239 --> 00:47:04,560
Speaker 2: I was going to say a worm, but we don't

1062
00:47:04,560 --> 00:47:08,320
Speaker 2: disparage worms here. He's a little snake, thank you very much.

1063
00:47:08,440 --> 00:47:10,640
Speaker 2: He's a little, excuse me, a sick, very little, sneaky

1064
00:47:10,640 --> 00:47:12,040
Speaker 2: little snake. He give me a little.

1065
00:47:12,440 --> 00:47:13,200
Speaker 7: He's a little roach.

1066
00:47:13,680 --> 00:47:15,359
Speaker 5: But there is an update. I do want to take

1067
00:47:15,360 --> 00:47:18,360
Speaker 5: a moment to address some things I saw in the comments. One,

1068
00:47:18,680 --> 00:47:20,719
Speaker 5: there are trusts set up and neither me nor my

1069
00:47:20,800 --> 00:47:23,719
Speaker 5: sister have full access to the money left us. This

1070
00:47:23,920 --> 00:47:25,719
Speaker 5: was done both because my sister and I were in

1071
00:47:25,719 --> 00:47:28,240
Speaker 5: our early twenties when my mom passed, and she wanted

1072
00:47:28,280 --> 00:47:30,880
Speaker 5: to make sure we had some stability before we had access,

1073
00:47:31,320 --> 00:47:33,160
Speaker 5: and to protect us from people who may try to

1074
00:47:33,200 --> 00:47:35,520
Speaker 5: take advantage, especially while we were grieving.

1075
00:47:36,239 --> 00:47:36,799
Speaker 2: Two.

1076
00:47:36,920 --> 00:47:39,400
Speaker 5: I have a lawyer. He has already informed me legally

1077
00:47:39,440 --> 00:47:42,320
Speaker 5: to my area what eviction laws are and my mom's

1078
00:47:42,320 --> 00:47:46,200
Speaker 5: former boyfriend will be served with formal eviction papers just

1079
00:47:46,239 --> 00:47:50,200
Speaker 5: to cover myself even after today, So to the update,

1080
00:47:50,360 --> 00:47:52,840
Speaker 5: my dad came over, decided not to have my boyfriend

1081
00:47:52,840 --> 00:47:55,040
Speaker 5: over since he doesn't know about the money side and

1082
00:47:55,080 --> 00:47:57,520
Speaker 5: I wasn't trying to have the boyfriend out the situation

1083
00:47:57,760 --> 00:48:01,440
Speaker 5: this morning, and brought along my cousin for easier telling.

1084
00:48:01,520 --> 00:48:04,680
Speaker 5: I'm going to call mom's former boyfriend. See. He showed

1085
00:48:04,719 --> 00:48:07,560
Speaker 5: up a route about ten am my time and talk

1086
00:48:07,600 --> 00:48:09,759
Speaker 5: to my dad, then asked if he could have a

1087
00:48:09,760 --> 00:48:12,680
Speaker 5: couple minutes alone with me. Dad nodded, so my cousin

1088
00:48:12,719 --> 00:48:14,600
Speaker 5: and him went into the kitchen and See and I

1089
00:48:14,680 --> 00:48:16,920
Speaker 5: sat in the living room. I'll be honest, I didn't

1090
00:48:16,920 --> 00:48:19,200
Speaker 5: expect it to go as as it had, but I'm

1091
00:48:19,239 --> 00:48:22,359
Speaker 5: glad it did. See started with an apology. I don't

1092
00:48:22,400 --> 00:48:24,719
Speaker 5: remember all of the words said, but the basics were,

1093
00:48:24,960 --> 00:48:27,760
Speaker 5: he missed my mom, He's been lonely, but not alone

1094
00:48:27,880 --> 00:48:29,960
Speaker 5: thanks to me and his son. He was sorry for

1095
00:48:30,000 --> 00:48:32,240
Speaker 5: what had happened, that he got caught up and lust

1096
00:48:32,360 --> 00:48:35,600
Speaker 5: you and let someone else fill his head with ideas

1097
00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:38,360
Speaker 5: and that he owned up to his mistakes and should

1098
00:48:38,360 --> 00:48:40,640
Speaker 5: have never put up with someone who would disrespect me

1099
00:48:40,840 --> 00:48:43,279
Speaker 5: or my mom's memory. He tried to hand me a

1100
00:48:43,320 --> 00:48:48,120
Speaker 5: cashier's check for fifteen thousand dollars. He said it wasn't much,

1101
00:48:48,160 --> 00:48:50,160
Speaker 5: but he wanted me to know he appreciated me and

1102
00:48:50,280 --> 00:48:52,480
Speaker 5: living with me, and that he wanted to pay back

1103
00:48:52,520 --> 00:48:53,520
Speaker 5: some of what he owed.

1104
00:48:53,680 --> 00:48:54,000
Speaker 2: Wow.

1105
00:48:54,200 --> 00:48:56,000
Speaker 5: I refuse the check of both in part because I

1106
00:48:56,040 --> 00:48:58,000
Speaker 5: never wanted his money, but I also don't want to

1107
00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:00,319
Speaker 5: give any possible legal leg for him to stay on.

1108
00:49:00,400 --> 00:49:01,800
Speaker 5: If this is somehow him.

1109
00:49:01,600 --> 00:49:03,560
Speaker 2: Trying to stay good. I was about to say that.

1110
00:49:03,600 --> 00:49:07,000
Speaker 2: I was like, that is trap money. I'm trying to

1111
00:49:07,040 --> 00:49:07,520
Speaker 2: trick you.

1112
00:49:07,840 --> 00:49:09,799
Speaker 5: I told them the first part and told them to

1113
00:49:09,800 --> 00:49:12,520
Speaker 5: put it towards a house. Here you go by the way.

1114
00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:18,560
Speaker 5: You can put yourself towards listening to more full episodes

1115
00:49:18,600 --> 00:49:21,360
Speaker 5: with stories just like this. Just go to Apple podcast,

1116
00:49:21,440 --> 00:49:24,440
Speaker 5: Spotify or your favorite podcast app and search a search a.

1117
00:49:24,400 --> 00:49:27,040
Speaker 2: Pokey story tem put yourself over there, put yourself over there.

1118
00:49:27,080 --> 00:49:31,080
Speaker 2: Put yourself in those shoes, the shoes that are little

1119
00:49:31,120 --> 00:49:33,640
Speaker 2: earphones in your ears, exactly your ear shoes.

1120
00:49:34,040 --> 00:49:35,680
Speaker 5: But there is a little bit more to the story.

1121
00:49:35,760 --> 00:49:39,279
Speaker 5: I would say this before we get into the west bit.

1122
00:49:40,040 --> 00:49:42,600
Speaker 5: It does. I mean, if he is telling the truth,

1123
00:49:42,719 --> 00:49:44,879
Speaker 5: then I think that is a good apology, and don't

1124
00:49:44,920 --> 00:49:46,839
Speaker 5: accept the money. Still don't accept money.

1125
00:49:46,840 --> 00:49:47,440
Speaker 2: Still don't accept that.

1126
00:49:47,520 --> 00:49:48,960
Speaker 5: But I think it's a good apology, and you just

1127
00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:52,240
Speaker 5: say thank you, appreciate it, send him on his way.

1128
00:49:52,840 --> 00:49:54,959
Speaker 5: If it is a lie, still don't accept the money,

1129
00:49:54,960 --> 00:49:56,200
Speaker 5: and just keep an eye out for him.

1130
00:49:56,800 --> 00:49:58,919
Speaker 2: Just keep an eye Ah. Yeah, I mean, I don't

1131
00:49:58,920 --> 00:50:00,880
Speaker 2: think this guy illegally has has a leg to stand on,

1132
00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:02,880
Speaker 2: especially if you don't take the money. He does not,

1133
00:50:03,200 --> 00:50:03,960
Speaker 2: So still.

1134
00:50:03,800 --> 00:50:06,400
Speaker 5: Take the money. Yeah, you know, Okay, thank you, and

1135
00:50:06,480 --> 00:50:07,040
Speaker 5: he can leave.

1136
00:50:07,800 --> 00:50:10,320
Speaker 2: I think with a different context, maybe you can accept

1137
00:50:10,320 --> 00:50:12,360
Speaker 2: the money. Like if it's a guy who's like, ladies,

1138
00:50:12,920 --> 00:50:16,600
Speaker 2: I'm trying to regain some honor here you are do this.

1139
00:50:17,200 --> 00:50:19,279
Speaker 2: I want to pay it and move on. But he's

1140
00:50:19,280 --> 00:50:21,239
Speaker 2: definitely the kind of guy who might do that and

1141
00:50:21,280 --> 00:50:23,440
Speaker 2: then be like, well, see I've been paying rent.

1142
00:50:23,800 --> 00:50:24,640
Speaker 5: She paid.

1143
00:50:25,880 --> 00:50:29,319
Speaker 2: Also, here's a forged document about our mom wants me

1144
00:50:29,400 --> 00:50:31,080
Speaker 2: to have the house or something. Who knows.

1145
00:50:31,239 --> 00:50:33,080
Speaker 5: He told me he is living with his sister, but

1146
00:50:33,160 --> 00:50:35,560
Speaker 5: is going to look at houses with the realtor next week.

1147
00:50:36,239 --> 00:50:38,319
Speaker 5: He did say his son is asking about our next

1148
00:50:38,320 --> 00:50:40,640
Speaker 5: hangout date and said both me and my sister are

1149
00:50:40,680 --> 00:50:43,879
Speaker 5: welcome to arrange time with him. After all of that,

1150
00:50:44,080 --> 00:50:46,080
Speaker 5: my dad and cousin helped him get all of the

1151
00:50:46,120 --> 00:50:48,279
Speaker 5: stuff out of the house that he owned. He had

1152
00:50:48,280 --> 00:50:50,440
Speaker 5: brought a U haul and he gave me back my

1153
00:50:50,520 --> 00:50:55,040
Speaker 5: house keys. He apologized again and left. Not what I expected,

1154
00:50:55,680 --> 00:50:58,200
Speaker 5: but it went really well and I feel a lot

1155
00:50:58,280 --> 00:51:01,320
Speaker 5: less like I let my mom down. Comments to finish

1156
00:51:01,320 --> 00:51:04,239
Speaker 5: the story off, Smooch noses I'm just being nosy, sure,

1157
00:51:04,360 --> 00:51:06,120
Speaker 5: but how did the woman who thought she's getting you

1158
00:51:06,160 --> 00:51:08,080
Speaker 5: punted out of your house respond.

1159
00:51:07,680 --> 00:51:10,040
Speaker 2: To it all? OPI says, no clue at my house.

1160
00:51:10,040 --> 00:51:12,879
Speaker 5: She just seems smug and witchy. I didn't ask see

1161
00:51:12,880 --> 00:51:16,120
Speaker 5: about her, and honestly don't care. My house is nice,

1162
00:51:16,200 --> 00:51:18,919
Speaker 5: but it's not like it's multimillion dollars or anything.

1163
00:51:18,800 --> 00:51:19,919
Speaker 2: That Karen Witch says.

1164
00:51:19,920 --> 00:51:21,480
Speaker 5: Have you said all of that stuff in the previous

1165
00:51:21,480 --> 00:51:23,640
Speaker 5: post to him away from his girlfriend? Were you not

1166
00:51:23,719 --> 00:51:26,200
Speaker 5: there when he grabbed her to leave? Just wondering because

1167
00:51:26,200 --> 00:51:28,200
Speaker 5: I assumed it was said in front of her and

1168
00:51:28,239 --> 00:51:30,480
Speaker 5: that's why she left. So easily instead of trying to

1169
00:51:30,520 --> 00:51:33,200
Speaker 5: fight to make you leave. Opie says, all that got

1170
00:51:33,239 --> 00:51:34,759
Speaker 5: said in front of her was that I wasn't going

1171
00:51:34,800 --> 00:51:37,239
Speaker 5: to be disrespected in my house and he could have

1172
00:51:37,320 --> 00:51:39,239
Speaker 5: thirty days to find new housing and she was not

1173
00:51:39,400 --> 00:51:41,799
Speaker 5: welcome back. That was all I said in front of her.

1174
00:51:41,840 --> 00:51:43,839
Speaker 5: And she kept a pissy face on but didn't say

1175
00:51:43,880 --> 00:51:47,279
Speaker 5: anything to me and walked out with him. And that

1176
00:51:47,440 --> 00:51:49,080
Speaker 5: is the end of that story.

1177
00:51:49,719 --> 00:51:53,040
Speaker 2: My, oh my, well, I mean that's better than I mean,

1178
00:51:54,000 --> 00:51:56,879
Speaker 2: like kinda, he kind of just took care of himself.

1179
00:51:56,920 --> 00:51:57,960
Speaker 2: He walked out and was.

1180
00:51:58,000 --> 00:52:01,719
Speaker 5: Like out, he apologized. That's something, you know what, regardless

1181
00:52:01,719 --> 00:52:04,200
Speaker 5: of whether he's telling the truth, he's out of your hair. Yeah,

1182
00:52:04,239 --> 00:52:08,320
Speaker 5: he's gone. Yeah, that's a crazy amount of time.

1183
00:52:08,160 --> 00:52:12,400
Speaker 2: To stay somewhere where you're like for each we're expected

1184
00:52:12,440 --> 00:52:15,799
Speaker 2: to like just get your feedback under you and you know,

1185
00:52:16,080 --> 00:52:20,480
Speaker 2: find another place, seeing as you're not married to me

1186
00:52:20,960 --> 00:52:25,439
Speaker 2: and I'm really mostly just doing this because of your kid. Yeah,

1187
00:52:25,520 --> 00:52:28,799
Speaker 2: he had to have known that. He had to have

1188
00:52:28,920 --> 00:52:33,200
Speaker 2: known that. I don't get it, which makes him pro scummy.

1189
00:52:33,440 --> 00:52:36,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, Hey it's sam og Host. We're gonnet back to

1190
00:52:36,760 --> 00:52:39,319
Speaker 1: these delectable stories. But here's three minutes of ads from

1191
00:52:39,360 --> 00:52:40,799
Speaker 1: our sponsors to help support the show.

1192
00:52:41,760 --> 00:52:47,279
Speaker 2: My abusive mother lost her fight to cancer, but I'm

1193
00:52:47,320 --> 00:52:51,520
Speaker 2: not dropping everything asap for her funeral. I mean a

1194
00:52:51,600 --> 00:52:53,400
Speaker 2: lot of variables up in the air right now. We

1195
00:52:53,480 --> 00:52:57,759
Speaker 2: gotta get more into this before we say anything. Yeah, okay,

1196
00:52:58,200 --> 00:53:02,520
Speaker 2: So January twenty twenty five, So this is a fresh

1197
00:53:02,560 --> 00:53:07,040
Speaker 2: one h twenties non binary. Am getting some comments and

1198
00:53:07,080 --> 00:53:09,759
Speaker 2: aggressiveness from my friends and family of my late mother.

1199
00:53:10,120 --> 00:53:12,440
Speaker 2: She passed away a few weeks ago from complications due

1200
00:53:12,480 --> 00:53:15,279
Speaker 2: to cancer, and I live halfway across the country in

1201
00:53:15,320 --> 00:53:17,839
Speaker 2: the US and could not afford to drop everything and

1202
00:53:17,920 --> 00:53:20,960
Speaker 2: be there with her, which that's a passable reason to me.

1203
00:53:21,239 --> 00:53:23,400
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from user okay can seventy

1204
00:53:23,440 --> 00:53:25,400
Speaker 2: five to seventy two, and if you want to submit

1205
00:53:25,400 --> 00:53:28,160
Speaker 2: your own stories, go to the r slash okay storytime

1206
00:53:28,239 --> 00:53:31,960
Speaker 2: sub read it. So she went from in the ICU

1207
00:53:32,080 --> 00:53:35,520
Speaker 2: as a precaution to end of life in about four days.

1208
00:53:36,040 --> 00:53:39,160
Speaker 2: I am also neurodivergent, and the nurses were ensuring me

1209
00:53:39,320 --> 00:53:42,200
Speaker 2: that she wasn't that bad up until the point where

1210
00:53:42,200 --> 00:53:44,920
Speaker 2: we were in the last few hours. I had a

1211
00:53:45,040 --> 00:53:48,640
Speaker 2: very very complicated relationship with my mother. She was my

1212
00:53:48,719 --> 00:53:51,160
Speaker 2: mother and on some level I loved her, but she

1213
00:53:51,320 --> 00:53:54,560
Speaker 2: was not And my father passed away when I was

1214
00:53:54,560 --> 00:53:57,719
Speaker 2: in high school, and he was as well, but more physically.

1215
00:53:58,400 --> 00:54:03,200
Speaker 2: My mother was emotionally, mentally and financially abusive. Among some

1216
00:54:03,239 --> 00:54:06,120
Speaker 2: of the things she did. Before I continue reading, I'm

1217
00:54:06,120 --> 00:54:08,120
Speaker 2: just gonna go ahead and give a little trigger warning here.

1218
00:54:08,640 --> 00:54:13,560
Speaker 2: Trigger warning. We definitely have some family dynamics as well

1219
00:54:13,640 --> 00:54:19,680
Speaker 2: as the passing of parental figures. So if that's not

1220
00:54:19,800 --> 00:54:24,719
Speaker 2: something you can listen to, go ahead and don't listen

1221
00:54:24,760 --> 00:54:27,120
Speaker 2: to this story. There's others you can go listen to

1222
00:54:27,239 --> 00:54:30,759
Speaker 2: right now. So among some of the things that she did,

1223
00:54:30,880 --> 00:54:33,839
Speaker 2: she would let the electricity, power or phone turn off

1224
00:54:33,880 --> 00:54:36,319
Speaker 2: to force me to pay the full bill plus late

1225
00:54:36,320 --> 00:54:38,920
Speaker 2: fees when she could have afforded it. She hoarded and

1226
00:54:38,960 --> 00:54:40,879
Speaker 2: made a mess of the house and then yelled at

1227
00:54:40,880 --> 00:54:43,440
Speaker 2: me for making the messes and insisted I clean it,

1228
00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:46,200
Speaker 2: and would even deny guess by telling them that I

1229
00:54:46,360 --> 00:54:51,120
Speaker 2: made the house a mess, would insult and embarrass me publicly,

1230
00:54:51,280 --> 00:54:54,520
Speaker 2: then make fun of me for being upset. Constant gaslighting.

1231
00:54:54,800 --> 00:54:58,440
Speaker 2: You get the point. It all got worse when I

1232
00:54:58,480 --> 00:55:01,759
Speaker 2: came out as trans I was able, with the help

1233
00:55:01,800 --> 00:55:04,120
Speaker 2: of my wonderful partner, to get out of that situation

1234
00:55:04,200 --> 00:55:07,400
Speaker 2: and move away. My relationship with my mother was also

1235
00:55:07,640 --> 00:55:10,920
Speaker 2: very low contact for years until she was diagnosed with

1236
00:55:10,960 --> 00:55:14,279
Speaker 2: cancer last spring. It was still low contact, but I

1237
00:55:14,360 --> 00:55:17,319
Speaker 2: spoke with her more frequently and had a much better

1238
00:55:17,400 --> 00:55:20,960
Speaker 2: relationship with her at a distance. Still not a great relationship,

1239
00:55:20,960 --> 00:55:23,440
Speaker 2: but something that, after learning who and what she is

1240
00:55:23,560 --> 00:55:25,880
Speaker 2: and how to cope with everything, was a much better

1241
00:55:25,960 --> 00:55:30,280
Speaker 2: relationship than before. Anyway. After she had passed and talking

1242
00:55:30,320 --> 00:55:33,040
Speaker 2: with the funeral home, I decided to have her creemated

1243
00:55:33,120 --> 00:55:36,600
Speaker 2: and hold off on making further arrangements until after the

1244
00:55:36,640 --> 00:55:40,120
Speaker 2: funeral home had copies of the death certificates. I had

1245
00:55:40,200 --> 00:55:42,640
Speaker 2: made a post on social media letting people know that

1246
00:55:42,680 --> 00:55:44,840
Speaker 2: when I had the arrangements made, I would make a

1247
00:55:44,920 --> 00:55:48,120
Speaker 2: post about it. Here we are, almost two weeks later,

1248
00:55:48,160 --> 00:55:50,919
Speaker 2: and I'm getting a lot of winter the arrangements. Why

1249
00:55:50,960 --> 00:55:53,120
Speaker 2: haven't you come home? Why didn't you go see your

1250
00:55:53,160 --> 00:55:55,560
Speaker 2: mom in the hospital. You know you'll regret that, right.

1251
00:55:56,000 --> 00:55:58,359
Speaker 2: Why haven't you made arrangements yet? Why did you cremate her?

1252
00:55:58,440 --> 00:56:00,960
Speaker 2: She should have been buried. I even had someone call

1253
00:56:01,040 --> 00:56:04,800
Speaker 2: me selfish for making others wait to mourn. But why

1254
00:56:04,920 --> 00:56:06,440
Speaker 2: was OP he made in charge of any of this?

1255
00:56:07,200 --> 00:56:10,400
Speaker 5: I'm confused actually, And well, yeah, one, why why does

1256
00:56:10,440 --> 00:56:12,360
Speaker 5: OP have to do this? Yeah, and to just like

1257
00:56:12,400 --> 00:56:14,759
Speaker 5: the fact that anyone thinks that they have the right.

1258
00:56:15,760 --> 00:56:17,920
Speaker 2: A lot of these people who are upset with me

1259
00:56:18,360 --> 00:56:20,640
Speaker 2: are people who haven't talked to my mother in years.

1260
00:56:20,760 --> 00:56:23,680
Speaker 2: And my mother had made no plans for arrangements. She

1261
00:56:23,760 --> 00:56:26,400
Speaker 2: also hadn't gotten any sort of life insurance despite me

1262
00:56:26,600 --> 00:56:30,080
Speaker 2: asking her to not gonna lie. I still can't afford

1263
00:56:30,440 --> 00:56:33,359
Speaker 2: to fly halfway across the country for this funeral. But

1264
00:56:33,400 --> 00:56:35,239
Speaker 2: I also have a bunch of stuff that I will

1265
00:56:35,280 --> 00:56:37,880
Speaker 2: need to do in person. There I'm going to have

1266
00:56:37,880 --> 00:56:39,840
Speaker 2: to crowdfund to be able to afford to go to

1267
00:56:39,880 --> 00:56:42,719
Speaker 2: my own mother's funeral. Someone told me to sell my

1268
00:56:42,760 --> 00:56:45,080
Speaker 2: mother's house to afford to go to the funeral. That

1269
00:56:45,200 --> 00:56:49,319
Speaker 2: I should be ashamed for even considering crowdfunding.

1270
00:56:49,040 --> 00:56:52,560
Speaker 5: To to sell your mother's house to go to the funeral.

1271
00:56:52,920 --> 00:56:56,600
Speaker 5: That person is insane. Anyone who is talking to you

1272
00:56:56,640 --> 00:56:58,200
Speaker 5: should shut up, because.

1273
00:56:58,080 --> 00:56:59,560
Speaker 2: Wow, why don't you sell your house?

1274
00:56:59,600 --> 00:56:59,839
Speaker 5: Buddy?

1275
00:57:00,120 --> 00:57:04,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, why don't you? That's ridiculous. Who's why is the

1276
00:57:04,200 --> 00:57:06,480
Speaker 2: person who couldn't go to the hospital? Why is why

1277
00:57:06,560 --> 00:57:09,600
Speaker 2: is this person in charge? Who has made op in charge?

1278
00:57:09,640 --> 00:57:10,680
Speaker 2: Is she the only descendant?

1279
00:57:11,080 --> 00:57:11,279
Speaker 5: They?

1280
00:57:11,320 --> 00:57:14,080
Speaker 2: Are they the only descendant? What is this? I'm not

1281
00:57:14,120 --> 00:57:16,720
Speaker 2: sure they understand how long it takes to go through probate,

1282
00:57:16,840 --> 00:57:20,040
Speaker 2: even though I am the sole inheritor. Am I the

1283
00:57:20,080 --> 00:57:21,720
Speaker 2: a hole? Or would I be the a hole for

1284
00:57:21,760 --> 00:57:23,080
Speaker 2: any of this? For all of it?

1285
00:57:24,840 --> 00:57:28,560
Speaker 5: I mean, you're not the ahole for not being able

1286
00:57:28,600 --> 00:57:32,080
Speaker 5: to afford this. Yeah, it's just like you can't afford it,

1287
00:57:32,280 --> 00:57:34,600
Speaker 5: and that as simple as that to You also had

1288
00:57:34,640 --> 00:57:37,400
Speaker 5: a complicated relationship with your mother, so the fact that

1289
00:57:37,440 --> 00:57:39,520
Speaker 5: anyone thinks that they have a right to tell you

1290
00:57:39,920 --> 00:57:42,800
Speaker 5: how to feel and what to do is ridiculous. None

1291
00:57:42,800 --> 00:57:44,440
Speaker 5: of this is making any sense.

1292
00:57:44,520 --> 00:57:46,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I'm getting a lot of comments, a lot

1293
00:57:46,680 --> 00:57:48,640
Speaker 2: more than I thought, and a lot quicker than I

1294
00:57:48,640 --> 00:57:50,920
Speaker 2: thought I would. So I'm going to clarify a few things.

1295
00:57:51,480 --> 00:57:54,760
Speaker 2: My mom did have a will. I actually do have

1296
00:57:54,800 --> 00:57:57,720
Speaker 2: a copy of it. I have already contacted the attorney

1297
00:57:57,720 --> 00:57:59,800
Speaker 2: who my mom worked with on it. They want some

1298
00:57:59,880 --> 00:58:02,320
Speaker 2: information that I don't currently have access to and won't

1299
00:58:02,360 --> 00:58:04,680
Speaker 2: be able to get access to until I have death

1300
00:58:04,720 --> 00:58:07,480
Speaker 2: certificates or until I can go there and check her house.

1301
00:58:07,960 --> 00:58:11,520
Speaker 2: I'm the only child and the only living immediate relative, which,

1302
00:58:11,600 --> 00:58:16,200
Speaker 2: now that makes sense. Why OP is the one handling this.

1303
00:58:16,560 --> 00:58:19,240
Speaker 2: My mom had people she referred to as cousins, but

1304
00:58:19,280 --> 00:58:22,000
Speaker 2: as far as I'm aware, they're not actually related. My

1305
00:58:22,080 --> 00:58:25,000
Speaker 2: mom was also older, in her mid sixties. My mom

1306
00:58:25,080 --> 00:58:27,720
Speaker 2: was older when she had me. I'm twenty six, she

1307
00:58:27,800 --> 00:58:30,840
Speaker 2: was sixty five. During her treatment, I did take a

1308
00:58:30,880 --> 00:58:33,600
Speaker 2: short trip, paid by others to see her during a

1309
00:58:33,640 --> 00:58:35,960
Speaker 2: point of not knowing if she would recover. So you

1310
00:58:36,080 --> 00:58:39,080
Speaker 2: did see her, Yeah, and that so all those people

1311
00:58:39,200 --> 00:58:43,840
Speaker 2: saying that are now stupid, moot, That's not what happened.

1312
00:58:44,320 --> 00:58:47,600
Speaker 2: She was bedridden and for lack of better words, not

1313
00:58:47,800 --> 00:58:51,760
Speaker 2: really there. She did recover and then recently went back downhill.

1314
00:58:52,400 --> 00:58:55,040
Speaker 2: Seeing all of the people saying that I'm not obligated

1315
00:58:55,040 --> 00:58:58,200
Speaker 2: to have a funeral legitimately makes me feel better. Like

1316
00:58:58,360 --> 00:59:00,960
Speaker 2: ninety percent of the people my mom new at her

1317
00:59:01,080 --> 00:59:05,800
Speaker 2: age or older at it, for I very much sugarcoated

1318
00:59:05,840 --> 00:59:07,800
Speaker 2: the type of person my mom was, And I feel

1319
00:59:07,800 --> 00:59:10,280
Speaker 2: like I need to specify that most people don't know

1320
00:59:10,320 --> 00:59:13,800
Speaker 2: what My relationship with my mother was actually, like everyone

1321
00:59:13,840 --> 00:59:16,560
Speaker 2: thinks she was a wonderful person, she painted me as

1322
00:59:16,600 --> 00:59:19,520
Speaker 2: a bad child even before I moved out and moved away.

1323
00:59:20,320 --> 00:59:24,880
Speaker 2: I've not used my previous name in nearly seven years,

1324
00:59:24,880 --> 00:59:27,840
Speaker 2: and she would still call me by this name and

1325
00:59:27,960 --> 00:59:31,800
Speaker 2: stuff to people behind my back. She only tried when

1326
00:59:31,840 --> 00:59:34,680
Speaker 2: it was convenient for her. She was still blaming the

1327
00:59:34,720 --> 00:59:37,160
Speaker 2: state of her house on me, despite the fact I

1328
00:59:37,200 --> 00:59:40,400
Speaker 2: haven't lived there in years. They say that's crazy.

1329
00:59:40,720 --> 00:59:43,640
Speaker 5: I mean, that's crazy to be like, yeah, oh pe making,

1330
00:59:43,640 --> 00:59:45,720
Speaker 5: it's so dirty, and everyone's like, oh are they like

1331
00:59:45,760 --> 00:59:48,120
Speaker 5: are they still living there? And the mom's like no,

1332
00:59:48,240 --> 00:59:49,280
Speaker 5: but but it's their fault.

1333
00:59:49,360 --> 00:59:52,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, truly. I mean, when once hording gets involved, it's

1334
00:59:52,200 --> 00:59:56,200
Speaker 2: like it's brain wise. It's like there are there are

1335
00:59:56,280 --> 01:00:01,440
Speaker 2: no rational thoughts about the mess that are made. It's impossible.

1336
01:00:01,760 --> 01:00:04,880
Speaker 2: They say, do not speak ill of those who are gone.

1337
01:00:04,960 --> 01:00:06,960
Speaker 2: But if I do have a funeral or any sort

1338
01:00:07,000 --> 01:00:10,640
Speaker 2: of gathering in her honor, I will be saying my peace,

1339
01:00:11,240 --> 01:00:13,680
Speaker 2: because sometimes in order to move on and heal, you

1340
01:00:13,840 --> 01:00:16,160
Speaker 2: need to speak ill of those who wronged you.

1341
01:00:16,320 --> 01:00:17,840
Speaker 5: At the have you seen Brooklyn nine nine?

1342
01:00:18,160 --> 01:00:21,760
Speaker 2: No, But Okay, I'm calling that one a red flag

1343
01:00:22,200 --> 01:00:27,480
Speaker 2: honestly my reference. No oh, another edit here? First, thank

1344
01:00:27,520 --> 01:00:29,600
Speaker 2: you for all the comments. It's very hard. So how

1345
01:00:29,600 --> 01:00:32,160
Speaker 2: many of you want updates? We do because I woke

1346
01:00:32,240 --> 01:00:34,640
Speaker 2: up to learn about people back in my hometown starting

1347
01:00:34,680 --> 01:00:37,800
Speaker 2: some crap and spreading rumors. Comment number one, not the

1348
01:00:37,840 --> 01:00:40,120
Speaker 2: a hole. Ask them how much they're going to contribute

1349
01:00:40,120 --> 01:00:43,400
Speaker 2: to the funeral and to fly you home facts. That's

1350
01:00:43,440 --> 01:00:46,480
Speaker 2: a good one. Uh oh, P replies this is legitimately

1351
01:00:46,520 --> 01:00:48,920
Speaker 2: something I will be doing. I'm waiting for death certificates,

1352
01:00:48,920 --> 01:00:51,600
Speaker 2: but once the funeral home has taken them, I will

1353
01:00:51,640 --> 01:00:55,800
Speaker 2: be talking potential costs and dates, plane tickets, hotels, covering

1354
01:00:55,800 --> 01:00:59,040
Speaker 2: my personal expenses and missed work, et cetera, adding everything

1355
01:00:59,120 --> 01:01:01,000
Speaker 2: up and making a way for people to put money

1356
01:01:01,040 --> 01:01:03,919
Speaker 2: towards it. Just don't, I don't know, don't do it. Yeah,

1357
01:01:04,000 --> 01:01:07,560
Speaker 2: you don't have to have a funeral, Yeah, ceremony or

1358
01:01:07,640 --> 01:01:12,120
Speaker 2: she's crazy to me, you didn't visit your terminally ill

1359
01:01:12,200 --> 01:01:15,000
Speaker 2: mother and then failed to give her a timely funeral.

1360
01:01:15,360 --> 01:01:17,760
Speaker 2: You are the a hole, And only on Reddit would

1361
01:01:17,760 --> 01:01:20,600
Speaker 2: the majority verdict be anything other than you're the a hole.

1362
01:01:20,760 --> 01:01:26,080
Speaker 2: What which again? It's like there's an entire relationship that

1363
01:01:26,120 --> 01:01:31,040
Speaker 2: we are not clued into. And also, okay, Opie, let's

1364
01:01:31,080 --> 01:01:34,680
Speaker 2: just hear Opie's reply. Okay, cool. If you think I'm

1365
01:01:34,680 --> 01:01:36,280
Speaker 2: the a hole, are you going to pay for the funeral?

1366
01:01:36,680 --> 01:01:38,600
Speaker 2: You're going to pay the thousands of dollars for me

1367
01:01:38,640 --> 01:01:42,960
Speaker 2: to go there? It's like, yeah, it's money reality. A

1368
01:01:43,000 --> 01:01:45,520
Speaker 2: lot of people are like, ah, dang, all right, well,

1369
01:01:45,560 --> 01:01:47,800
Speaker 2: I mean I guess I'll become unemployed and lose all

1370
01:01:47,840 --> 01:01:50,960
Speaker 2: my income and also spend all this money. Then I'll

1371
01:01:50,960 --> 01:01:53,959
Speaker 2: never get back. And it's kind of by the way,

1372
01:01:54,040 --> 01:01:59,040
Speaker 2: it's for a woman who's not abused me in my childhood.

1373
01:01:58,840 --> 01:02:01,560
Speaker 5: That, but not a lot like why are you trying

1374
01:02:01,560 --> 01:02:02,919
Speaker 5: to go and why are you trying to make someone

1375
01:02:02,960 --> 01:02:05,360
Speaker 5: go into debt for a person who's not alive.

1376
01:02:05,520 --> 01:02:08,200
Speaker 2: Yeah she's not Hey, she's not gonna care.

1377
01:02:08,640 --> 01:02:09,919
Speaker 5: She can't care.

1378
01:02:10,120 --> 01:02:12,880
Speaker 2: Yep. So there's a reply to that, like, seriously ignore

1379
01:02:12,920 --> 01:02:15,440
Speaker 2: things like this. There are people who want to believe

1380
01:02:15,520 --> 01:02:20,280
Speaker 2: that DNA creates an unbreakable bond of obligation regardless of

1381
01:02:20,600 --> 01:02:22,640
Speaker 2: but it's funny how most of the people who insist

1382
01:02:22,720 --> 01:02:26,120
Speaker 2: on that eternal obligation are the ones who demand to

1383
01:02:26,360 --> 01:02:29,800
Speaker 2: benefit from it and not contribute. And here's the update

1384
01:02:30,760 --> 01:02:35,800
Speaker 2: update January twenty seventh, five. So, in the original post,

1385
01:02:35,840 --> 01:02:38,240
Speaker 2: I gave the cliff Notes version of my mother's abuse

1386
01:02:38,320 --> 01:02:41,280
Speaker 2: and the whole situation with her. My partner's reaction when

1387
01:02:41,280 --> 01:02:45,200
Speaker 2: they read this was, wow, you really sugarcoated that, which

1388
01:02:45,520 --> 01:02:49,400
Speaker 2: I mean. I guess people don't understand that. She literally said.

1389
01:02:49,400 --> 01:02:54,200
Speaker 2: They literally sorry, I keep miss gender. They literally like

1390
01:02:54,400 --> 01:02:57,840
Speaker 2: were like, I'm sugarcoating this, and they say not to

1391
01:02:58,000 --> 01:03:01,520
Speaker 2: speak ill of yeah who have passed or whatever. So

1392
01:03:01,600 --> 01:03:02,400
Speaker 2: I guess I won't.

1393
01:03:02,600 --> 01:03:05,080
Speaker 5: Yeah, And everyone's like, why are you not going to

1394
01:03:05,160 --> 01:03:05,480
Speaker 5: your mother?

1395
01:03:05,880 --> 01:03:09,200
Speaker 2: Like it's like, guys, use your brain. She slam dunked

1396
01:03:09,200 --> 01:03:12,120
Speaker 2: on me my whole childhood. Are we doing us your blame?

1397
01:03:12,640 --> 01:03:16,439
Speaker 2: My mother was performatively supportive of me, so everyone thinks

1398
01:03:16,480 --> 01:03:18,840
Speaker 2: she was a wonderful person. A lot of the people

1399
01:03:18,840 --> 01:03:21,400
Speaker 2: messaging me have no idea that I have gone by

1400
01:03:21,400 --> 01:03:24,080
Speaker 2: a different name for nearly seven years, because if I

1401
01:03:24,400 --> 01:03:28,880
Speaker 2: wasn't there, she uh misnamed me and misgendered me to people.

1402
01:03:29,280 --> 01:03:32,040
Speaker 2: People mentioned therapy in the comments of the last post.

1403
01:03:32,440 --> 01:03:34,360
Speaker 2: I've been in and out of therapy for years, but

1404
01:03:34,400 --> 01:03:37,000
Speaker 2: I struggled to find a therapist who actually works for me.

1405
01:03:37,320 --> 01:03:39,680
Speaker 2: I'm very self aware of my issues and what I'm

1406
01:03:39,680 --> 01:03:42,800
Speaker 2: struggling with. As a result, therapists tend to shrug off

1407
01:03:42,840 --> 01:03:46,600
Speaker 2: issues as I logically know how to deal with them. Anyways,

1408
01:03:46,640 --> 01:03:49,520
Speaker 2: now for the update. I woke up a few days

1409
01:03:49,560 --> 01:03:52,160
Speaker 2: after posting my original post to a message from a

1410
01:03:52,200 --> 01:03:55,480
Speaker 2: family member. Apparently one of my no contact family members,

1411
01:03:55,520 --> 01:03:57,600
Speaker 2: a grandmother and two aunts on my dad's side, is

1412
01:03:57,640 --> 01:04:00,480
Speaker 2: telling people that I haven't done anything with my mother's

1413
01:04:00,480 --> 01:04:03,360
Speaker 2: body yet, basically telling people that I just left her

1414
01:04:03,400 --> 01:04:06,200
Speaker 2: at the morgue to rot, which some of y'all probably

1415
01:04:06,200 --> 01:04:09,960
Speaker 2: think that's less than my mother would deserve. So despite

1416
01:04:09,960 --> 01:04:11,920
Speaker 2: the fact that there are people who know that I

1417
01:04:12,000 --> 01:04:15,400
Speaker 2: had my mother cremated, I've been getting crappy messages about that.

1418
01:04:15,960 --> 01:04:18,160
Speaker 2: Said family members also will not be allowed at the

1419
01:04:18,160 --> 01:04:20,160
Speaker 2: funeral if I end up having one. It's one of

1420
01:04:20,200 --> 01:04:22,800
Speaker 2: the few requests my mom actually made, and even if

1421
01:04:22,840 --> 01:04:25,680
Speaker 2: she hadn't, I wouldn't want them there. Good News should

1422
01:04:25,680 --> 01:04:28,800
Speaker 2: have death certificates by the end of this week. I'm

1423
01:04:28,800 --> 01:04:31,160
Speaker 2: going to be looking for a new attorney for filing probate.

1424
01:04:31,480 --> 01:04:33,800
Speaker 2: I called to ask for resources and help in getting

1425
01:04:33,840 --> 01:04:36,480
Speaker 2: the information they want, and basically got told to just

1426
01:04:36,520 --> 01:04:38,800
Speaker 2: look through my mother's mail. I'm out of state and

1427
01:04:38,880 --> 01:04:41,600
Speaker 2: hundreds of miles away due to some stuff that happened

1428
01:04:41,600 --> 01:04:44,240
Speaker 2: while my mother was going through treatment. There isn't really

1429
01:04:44,280 --> 01:04:47,280
Speaker 2: anyone I trust to do that for me. So basically

1430
01:04:47,280 --> 01:04:49,480
Speaker 2: the probate attorney I was talking to told me they

1431
01:04:49,480 --> 01:04:53,120
Speaker 2: couldn't help me and to just figure it out. People

1432
01:04:53,120 --> 01:04:55,760
Speaker 2: have already started messaging me about buying things of my

1433
01:04:55,840 --> 01:04:58,520
Speaker 2: mom's and don't seem to understand that I can't legally

1434
01:04:58,560 --> 01:05:02,840
Speaker 2: sell anything. After probate has started, I've learned exactly what

1435
01:05:02,880 --> 01:05:05,120
Speaker 2: sort of condition that house is in from a family

1436
01:05:05,120 --> 01:05:08,120
Speaker 2: member who is a contractor. It's about what I expected

1437
01:05:08,160 --> 01:05:11,439
Speaker 2: and likely we just need to be torn down. Yeah, again,

1438
01:05:11,480 --> 01:05:14,160
Speaker 2: this is a hoarder house. This is a hoarding house.

1439
01:05:14,600 --> 01:05:16,640
Speaker 2: The attorney being like, oh, yeah, just go there and

1440
01:05:16,680 --> 01:05:18,880
Speaker 2: get it out of your mom's mail. It's like you

1441
01:05:19,160 --> 01:05:21,120
Speaker 2: what do you wear? Which male?

1442
01:05:21,240 --> 01:05:21,680
Speaker 5: What male?

1443
01:05:21,840 --> 01:05:22,360
Speaker 2: Where male?

1444
01:05:22,880 --> 01:05:26,400
Speaker 5: People have like really no understanding of what opey situation

1445
01:05:26,560 --> 01:05:28,720
Speaker 5: is and are giving a lot of advice that is

1446
01:05:28,840 --> 01:05:31,000
Speaker 5: just very uninformed, Like, is there.

1447
01:05:30,840 --> 01:05:32,880
Speaker 2: Any way we can do it without the mail that

1448
01:05:32,960 --> 01:05:39,280
Speaker 2: is probably unfindable. Yeah, let's be honest. I did call

1449
01:05:39,360 --> 01:05:42,360
Speaker 2: and I turned off the utilities. A pipe had already

1450
01:05:42,360 --> 01:05:44,280
Speaker 2: burst in the house while my mom was in the hospital,

1451
01:05:44,280 --> 01:05:47,439
Speaker 2: and there's no one there, so maybe the cold will

1452
01:05:47,480 --> 01:05:51,919
Speaker 2: actually finish off the bugs. Finally, I doubt it. People

1453
01:05:52,000 --> 01:05:54,640
Speaker 2: are still being judgy about me not dropping everything and

1454
01:05:54,720 --> 01:05:57,440
Speaker 2: waiting to have a funeral. People are also trying to

1455
01:05:57,560 --> 01:06:00,640
Speaker 2: argue semantics over the costs of travel and stuff. Like

1456
01:06:00,720 --> 01:06:03,560
Speaker 2: my original notice to everyone on social media happened during

1457
01:06:03,560 --> 01:06:06,160
Speaker 2: holiday travel when last minute plane tickets were over one

1458
01:06:06,160 --> 01:06:09,480
Speaker 2: thousand dollars. People are now two weeks later looking up

1459
01:06:09,480 --> 01:06:11,960
Speaker 2: prices on my behalf and then being judgy because it's

1460
01:06:12,000 --> 01:06:15,400
Speaker 2: only like five hundred dollars now, which is not nothing.

1461
01:06:15,680 --> 01:06:18,280
Speaker 5: Also, yeah, one not nothing. Also price has changed all

1462
01:06:18,320 --> 01:06:19,880
Speaker 5: the time, so it's like, why are you they.

1463
01:06:19,880 --> 01:06:23,360
Speaker 2: Also the people arguing with me also don't seem to

1464
01:06:23,440 --> 01:06:26,760
Speaker 2: understand that I literally can't afford it because I live

1465
01:06:26,960 --> 01:06:30,080
Speaker 2: paycheck to paycheck. That is all I've got For the moment.

1466
01:06:30,720 --> 01:06:32,640
Speaker 2: I have a feeling crap's gonna hit the fan, either

1467
01:06:32,720 --> 01:06:35,200
Speaker 2: at the funeral or if I tell people I've decided

1468
01:06:35,320 --> 01:06:38,400
Speaker 2: not to have a funeral or anything. Sorry if this

1469
01:06:38,520 --> 01:06:40,800
Speaker 2: is a little all over the place between this situation

1470
01:06:40,880 --> 01:06:43,960
Speaker 2: and just everything going on in the country, I'm just

1471
01:06:44,720 --> 01:06:47,280
Speaker 2: so tired. Edit for anyone who missed it or is

1472
01:06:47,280 --> 01:06:50,960
Speaker 2: suggesting donating to science, I had my mother cremated. For

1473
01:06:51,040 --> 01:06:53,720
Speaker 2: those suggesting that I wash my hands of the whole situation,

1474
01:06:54,120 --> 01:06:56,920
Speaker 2: her house, property and what not has the potential to

1475
01:06:56,920 --> 01:07:00,200
Speaker 2: be worth it monetarily. Even after paying her debts, the

1476
01:07:00,240 --> 01:07:03,320
Speaker 2: house and vehicles are all paid off. For anyone who

1477
01:07:03,320 --> 01:07:06,000
Speaker 2: thinks that is selfish or something, my mom literally stole

1478
01:07:06,080 --> 01:07:09,480
Speaker 2: money from me for years. I'm struggling financially living paycheck

1479
01:07:09,520 --> 01:07:11,840
Speaker 2: to paycheck and could use the money from the estate.

1480
01:07:12,240 --> 01:07:14,880
Speaker 2: Comments before we go into it, like, honestly, the house

1481
01:07:14,920 --> 01:07:17,120
Speaker 2: being fully paid off does change things as well. Like

1482
01:07:17,240 --> 01:07:20,080
Speaker 2: I guess depending on how bad the hoarding situation.

1483
01:07:19,760 --> 01:07:23,080
Speaker 5: Is, it's just like how much to fix it up?

1484
01:07:23,240 --> 01:07:25,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, and do you want to get a team go

1485
01:07:25,160 --> 01:07:27,400
Speaker 2: in there and clean? That could be worth it. But

1486
01:07:27,480 --> 01:07:29,680
Speaker 2: also like you don't live there and that's not where

1487
01:07:29,680 --> 01:07:33,280
Speaker 2: your work is. But if your current living paycheck to paycheck,

1488
01:07:33,520 --> 01:07:35,800
Speaker 2: you might want to consider moving into that house because

1489
01:07:36,040 --> 01:07:38,240
Speaker 2: now you don't have to pay rent, and whatever job

1490
01:07:38,320 --> 01:07:40,520
Speaker 2: you have that's barely paying you enough to exist, you

1491
01:07:40,520 --> 01:07:43,360
Speaker 2: could probably get a similar job out there. But at

1492
01:07:43,400 --> 01:07:47,400
Speaker 2: the same time, you know, selling all of that as

1493
01:07:47,480 --> 01:07:50,200
Speaker 2: a lot can also give you money to you know,

1494
01:07:50,720 --> 01:07:54,440
Speaker 2: have a foundation to build off of. Yeah. Comments Uh,

1495
01:07:54,800 --> 01:07:56,840
Speaker 2: why did you have to go into probate if she

1496
01:07:56,880 --> 01:07:59,840
Speaker 2: had a will? Ope replies, I believe her state re

1497
01:08:00,000 --> 01:08:02,120
Speaker 2: recquires it. She also has debts and stuff that need

1498
01:08:02,160 --> 01:08:05,200
Speaker 2: to be settled out of the estate. Comment two has

1499
01:08:05,680 --> 01:08:08,520
Speaker 2: have someone reliable get a locksmith to change the locks

1500
01:08:08,560 --> 01:08:10,960
Speaker 2: on the house. If you haven't already, things might start

1501
01:08:11,000 --> 01:08:14,240
Speaker 2: walking away before you can get there. Comment three not

1502
01:08:14,320 --> 01:08:16,639
Speaker 2: the ahole. I mean a funeral personally to me doesn't

1503
01:08:16,640 --> 01:08:18,400
Speaker 2: make a whole lot of sense in this scenario, and

1504
01:08:18,479 --> 01:08:21,240
Speaker 2: it sounds like she probably wouldn't have wanted a funeral anyway,

1505
01:08:21,600 --> 01:08:24,240
Speaker 2: and if she did, she didn't plan one. So you

1506
01:08:24,320 --> 01:08:27,439
Speaker 2: can always just release some sort of statement on social

1507
01:08:27,439 --> 01:08:30,599
Speaker 2: media saying, per your mom's request, there won't be a funeral,

1508
01:08:30,880 --> 01:08:33,639
Speaker 2: and she's been cremated and you'll spread her ashes somewhere

1509
01:08:33,720 --> 01:08:35,479
Speaker 2: or something, and at this time you will not be

1510
01:08:35,479 --> 01:08:37,639
Speaker 2: getting rid of any of her things got the house

1511
01:08:37,760 --> 01:08:41,320
Speaker 2: is because the house is closed up for repairs. There

1512
01:08:41,520 --> 01:08:43,920
Speaker 2: is no reason for you to stop your life where

1513
01:08:43,920 --> 01:08:46,960
Speaker 2: you're at right now, because, like you said, you have

1514
01:08:47,040 --> 01:08:49,800
Speaker 2: to go through probate. Of course, you can go to

1515
01:08:49,840 --> 01:08:51,880
Speaker 2: the house and do things, but it's not something that

1516
01:08:51,920 --> 01:08:54,160
Speaker 2: has to be done right now. I would definitely make

1517
01:08:54,200 --> 01:08:58,200
Speaker 2: a plan or a trip to go there though, and

1518
01:08:58,720 --> 01:09:01,160
Speaker 2: make a weekend of clean out the house or something.

1519
01:09:01,400 --> 01:09:04,240
Speaker 2: But ultimately that house can be a great rental opportunity

1520
01:09:04,280 --> 01:09:07,519
Speaker 2: for you also, especially since it's paid off, or you

1521
01:09:07,520 --> 01:09:10,759
Speaker 2: can sell it if there's too much drama. I advice.

1522
01:09:11,080 --> 01:09:13,040
Speaker 5: Yeah, exactly what we said.

1523
01:09:13,120 --> 01:09:15,519
Speaker 2: A fully paid off house in this world is like

1524
01:09:15,920 --> 01:09:21,200
Speaker 2: a incredible, a valuable asset. Ope replies, I do have

1525
01:09:21,320 --> 01:09:24,280
Speaker 2: to go there because currently, in order to start probate,

1526
01:09:24,320 --> 01:09:26,960
Speaker 2: I need to take inventory of my mother's things and accounts.

1527
01:09:27,320 --> 01:09:29,320
Speaker 2: I also need to find some things of mine. I

1528
01:09:29,360 --> 01:09:31,200
Speaker 2: need to find her devices so I can get her

1529
01:09:31,200 --> 01:09:34,280
Speaker 2: phone and stuff turned off and returned. I need those

1530
01:09:34,360 --> 01:09:37,479
Speaker 2: death certificates to get to go to her bank, et cetera.

1531
01:09:37,920 --> 01:09:41,360
Speaker 2: We have another update, woo, So is OPI gonna try

1532
01:09:41,400 --> 01:09:42,920
Speaker 2: to keep the house or not. I don't know what

1533
01:09:42,960 --> 01:09:43,320
Speaker 2: do we think.

1534
01:09:43,360 --> 01:09:45,840
Speaker 5: I think, just just guessing, I think they're gonna I

1535
01:09:45,880 --> 01:09:46,880
Speaker 5: think they're gonna sell it.

1536
01:09:46,960 --> 01:09:49,439
Speaker 7: I think I think at this point for OP they

1537
01:09:49,520 --> 01:09:50,240
Speaker 7: just want to sell it.

1538
01:09:50,360 --> 01:09:50,559
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1539
01:09:50,560 --> 01:09:52,519
Speaker 7: They are living paycheck to paycheck.

1540
01:09:52,680 --> 01:09:54,960
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think it's a mental burden as well for them.

1541
01:09:55,320 --> 01:10:00,479
Speaker 2: January first five. First of all, thanks for the support

1542
01:10:00,479 --> 01:10:02,000
Speaker 2: of my last two posts. If you want to help

1543
01:10:02,000 --> 01:10:04,280
Speaker 2: Fairther during this time, advice is still appreciate it. Also,

1544
01:10:04,320 --> 01:10:08,320
Speaker 2: don't feel obligated. So I finally talked with a competent

1545
01:10:08,360 --> 01:10:11,400
Speaker 2: probate attorney. I'm still waiting on death certificates from the

1546
01:10:11,439 --> 01:10:14,360
Speaker 2: funeral home, but once I have them, we should be

1547
01:10:14,400 --> 01:10:17,120
Speaker 2: able to file and start the probate period. She wants

1548
01:10:17,160 --> 01:10:19,200
Speaker 2: to get all that going before I go out there

1549
01:10:19,240 --> 01:10:22,360
Speaker 2: for anything. I made a social media post and whoever

1550
01:10:22,400 --> 01:10:25,040
Speaker 2: was spreading rumors either shut up real quick or just

1551
01:10:25,080 --> 01:10:26,280
Speaker 2: got more careful about it.

1552
01:10:26,360 --> 01:10:26,479
Speaker 5: Uh.

1553
01:10:26,600 --> 01:10:30,000
Speaker 2: And by the way, uh, when we shut up real quick,

1554
01:10:30,520 --> 01:10:33,559
Speaker 2: you don't have to live in that silence because you

1555
01:10:33,600 --> 01:10:36,160
Speaker 2: can go listen to full episodes with stories just like

1556
01:10:36,200 --> 01:10:38,000
Speaker 2: this one. All you gotta do is go to Spotify

1557
01:10:38,040 --> 01:10:41,040
Speaker 2: or Apple Podcasts. Are you get your podcast and her

1558
01:10:41,040 --> 01:10:41,919
Speaker 2: showcase Storytime.

1559
01:10:42,200 --> 01:10:47,799
Speaker 5: Alternatively, we never shut up. If you listen to full episodes.

1560
01:10:47,439 --> 01:10:50,920
Speaker 2: There you go. Yeah. Literally, what is silence? You don't

1561
01:10:50,920 --> 01:10:51,519
Speaker 2: need silence?

1562
01:10:51,520 --> 01:10:51,880
Speaker 5: I need it.

1563
01:10:51,920 --> 01:10:52,640
Speaker 2: You can listen to us.

1564
01:10:52,680 --> 01:10:56,080
Speaker 5: Silence is boring. You can silences for movie theaters and

1565
01:10:56,160 --> 01:10:58,400
Speaker 5: for funerals and l neither.

1566
01:10:58,720 --> 01:11:01,480
Speaker 2: Who's this guy? Oh? Who's that guy?

1567
01:11:01,800 --> 01:11:01,880
Speaker 5: Go?

1568
01:11:02,000 --> 01:11:03,040
Speaker 2: I have fang hair?

1569
01:11:04,200 --> 01:11:06,440
Speaker 7: What is this the nineteen nineties?

1570
01:11:07,200 --> 01:11:10,880
Speaker 2: No, I don't know. In my last two posts, pretty

1571
01:11:10,920 --> 01:11:14,160
Speaker 2: much everyone has said that a funeral can wait exactly,

1572
01:11:14,160 --> 01:11:17,040
Speaker 2: a funeral is not necessary, or that my mom doesn't

1573
01:11:17,120 --> 01:11:20,160
Speaker 2: deserve one. This leads to my second goal in the

1574
01:11:20,160 --> 01:11:22,000
Speaker 2: go of on me. As horrible as my mom was,

1575
01:11:22,240 --> 01:11:23,840
Speaker 2: she was still my mom, and some part of me

1576
01:11:23,920 --> 01:11:26,479
Speaker 2: loved her, or at least who I hoped she could be.

1577
01:11:26,640 --> 01:11:28,599
Speaker 2: I think I might need a funeral or something. At

1578
01:11:28,680 --> 01:11:31,519
Speaker 2: least I can't explain why. I will say, I am

1579
01:11:31,560 --> 01:11:33,559
Speaker 2: only going to put myself through that if I can

1580
01:11:33,680 --> 01:11:36,360
Speaker 2: raise the money to cover everything. There's so much going

1581
01:11:36,360 --> 01:11:38,720
Speaker 2: on for me personally and so much going on in

1582
01:11:38,760 --> 01:11:40,320
Speaker 2: the country that I know I won't be able to

1583
01:11:40,320 --> 01:11:43,160
Speaker 2: handle it if I can't eliminate the financial burden. Some

1584
01:11:43,200 --> 01:11:45,679
Speaker 2: of y'all may think because of this that it makes

1585
01:11:45,680 --> 01:11:47,680
Speaker 2: me an a hole to myself. And I get that

1586
01:11:48,560 --> 01:11:51,000
Speaker 2: if there's a funeral there will certainly be drama, as

1587
01:11:51,080 --> 01:11:53,280
Speaker 2: there are some people who will be told they aren't

1588
01:11:53,280 --> 01:11:54,960
Speaker 2: welcome to a tent. If you want to hear an

1589
01:11:55,040 --> 01:11:56,439
Speaker 2: update about that, let me know.

1590
01:11:57,040 --> 01:11:57,439
Speaker 5: For now.

1591
01:11:57,560 --> 01:12:00,439
Speaker 2: I appreciate you all, and I gotta say, oh pee,

1592
01:12:00,439 --> 01:12:01,800
Speaker 2: if you feel like you need this thing to be

1593
01:12:01,840 --> 01:12:06,280
Speaker 2: done for you, just do it for you like you don't.

1594
01:12:06,720 --> 01:12:10,439
Speaker 2: None of these people just obligated to be there. Nope,

1595
01:12:11,200 --> 01:12:14,599
Speaker 2: do what you need to do for you. That said,

1596
01:12:14,640 --> 01:12:17,320
Speaker 2: a funeral doesn't have to be a service. It can

1597
01:12:17,400 --> 01:12:20,360
Speaker 2: be a gathering of people getting together in someone's home

1598
01:12:20,840 --> 01:12:23,400
Speaker 2: or at a restaurant. It can be you lighting a

1599
01:12:23,439 --> 01:12:25,880
Speaker 2: candle in front of a picture of your mom. Any

1600
01:12:26,000 --> 01:12:29,280
Speaker 2: act that you put some consideration into will do. Doing

1601
01:12:29,320 --> 01:12:32,200
Speaker 2: some sort of funeral action or ritual provides closure for

1602
01:12:32,240 --> 01:12:34,559
Speaker 2: the living. So please don't feel bad about doing what

1603
01:12:34,640 --> 01:12:38,040
Speaker 2: you need to do for you. That said, as someone

1604
01:12:38,080 --> 01:12:40,160
Speaker 2: who had to cut contact with my mother, you are

1605
01:12:40,200 --> 01:12:42,760
Speaker 2: so right when you say some part of me loved her,

1606
01:12:42,880 --> 01:12:46,160
Speaker 2: or at least who I hoped she could be. When

1607
01:12:46,200 --> 01:12:48,639
Speaker 2: we lose a relationship, with an abutif person or when

1608
01:12:48,640 --> 01:12:51,160
Speaker 2: they pass, what we grieve is what we'd hoped we

1609
01:12:51,200 --> 01:12:54,160
Speaker 2: could have some day with them. It's okay to grieve

1610
01:12:54,200 --> 01:12:59,599
Speaker 2: that good luck, and that is the end of that story.