WEBVTT - I'm Back With My Ex

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<v Speaker 1>Puts up you guys.

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<v Speaker 2>This week's episode is kind of deep, a little bit,

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<v Speaker 2>gets a little bit emotional, just giving you guys a

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<v Speaker 2>warning before you know.

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<v Speaker 3>We dive in.

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<v Speaker 1>We are diving and there's a confession.

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<v Speaker 2>Basically one of us has been keeping a secret and

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't even know, well whatever one of us got

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<v Speaker 2>back together with our ex I just wanted to give

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<v Speaker 2>you guys a warning because.

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<v Speaker 1>Shit gets real April folds fuck out of here.

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<v Speaker 2>But what we did do is interview our exes. So yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>jump in our time machine.

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<v Speaker 1>And take a walk down memory lane.

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<v Speaker 2>We find out who the fuck we were back then.

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<v Speaker 2>And if you have any confessions that you want to confess,

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<v Speaker 2>make sure you call our hotline that is eight one

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<v Speaker 2>eight mom zero one five four. Don't be scared.

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<v Speaker 1>You can remain anonymous if you stated on the on

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<v Speaker 1>the voicemail, just like our exes.

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<v Speaker 2>Just like our exes, call your Welcome back to Good

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<v Speaker 2>Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica and I'm Nila. Happy home day.

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<v Speaker 1>Hello.

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<v Speaker 2>How's everyone doing out there in our quarantine world?

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<v Speaker 1>How is everybody doing? Honestly, I have been doing. I've

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<v Speaker 1>been going in and out of doing fine. And also

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<v Speaker 1>on the rigid depression. So it just, you know, just

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<v Speaker 1>depends what you ask me. How about you same?

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<v Speaker 2>You know, I go through days where I'm like, you

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<v Speaker 2>know what, I'm so glad I'm home. I need to

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<v Speaker 2>be home, connect with my kid because you know, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm always gone and shit. But and I'm like, I'm connected.

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<v Speaker 2>I very i've connected or connected. She's part of me.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm part of her in now space. But I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, I think it really helps that I don't

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<v Speaker 2>watch the news because it helps, and like people send

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<v Speaker 2>me shit, like you sent me something out yesterday. I

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<v Speaker 2>didn't open it. I don't like it might be bad

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<v Speaker 2>because I'm not in the know of everything that's happening.

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<v Speaker 3>That's better.

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<v Speaker 2>But then also I feel like, also I don't have

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<v Speaker 2>a wave of hysteria, like of course it's weird. I

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<v Speaker 2>went to the grocery store the other day and everyone

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<v Speaker 2>had masks on, and it felt like I was in

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<v Speaker 2>a weird movie. But in which that was like what

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<v Speaker 2>freaked me out? I was like, is this my new normal?

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<v Speaker 2>But I think also because and I don't want to

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<v Speaker 2>be insensitive, I'm not being insensitive. I just it hasn't

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<v Speaker 2>touched me. Yet you know, Corona, and so I knock

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<v Speaker 2>on wood. So it just almost it's not that it

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<v Speaker 2>doesn't seem real.

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<v Speaker 1>It's just like.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know, it's just I'm being it's not personal.

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<v Speaker 2>It's not personal, and I don't not I don't want to.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't want there to be a yet I need

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<v Speaker 2>to say that right now.

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<v Speaker 1>But I've been praying lap just about like protecting my family,

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<v Speaker 1>my people, my people's people, just because I know it

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<v Speaker 1>is rapidly spreading and I know it's real, but again same,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know anybody personally affected by it. So I've

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<v Speaker 1>just been trying to like keep my head clear and

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<v Speaker 1>just pray for the people around me and for my

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<v Speaker 1>family and my friends and myself and just to stay protected.

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<v Speaker 2>And at this point, I just feel like that's all

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<v Speaker 2>we can do.

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<v Speaker 1>And also sometimes I go into these deep thoughts about

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<v Speaker 1>how we need to get some anti viral herbs up

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<v Speaker 1>our immune system, what herbs that we need to do

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<v Speaker 1>that every day, and I just think this.

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<v Speaker 3>Is the time.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I've just been I've been so much more mindful

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<v Speaker 2>of my health me too. Yeah, Like I routine taking

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<v Speaker 2>so many vitamins every day. I've been like working out.

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<v Speaker 2>I've been just you know, been like I feel like

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like nesting, like you know when they say you're

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<v Speaker 2>like when you're like when you're pregnant. Like I've been

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<v Speaker 2>like reorganizing shit in my house, like getting rid of shit.

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<v Speaker 2>So I don't know. I mean, I feel like there's good,

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<v Speaker 2>there's bad. Obviously, there's a lot of bad. A lot

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<v Speaker 2>of people are have lost their lives and a lot

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<v Speaker 2>of people are being affected. I just I don't really know.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't I don't understand how this is gonna actually end.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, that's what That's what I'm really scared of, as

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<v Speaker 1>far as our economy goes, and just how this is

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<v Speaker 1>actually gonna end, Like when we come up out of this,

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<v Speaker 1>what is the state of the world. I don't think

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<v Speaker 1>we're gonna I don't. I don't hate to say this,

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<v Speaker 1>but I don't think the world is gonna be how

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<v Speaker 1>we once knew it.

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<v Speaker 2>I hope not, though, I mean, because I do feel

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<v Speaker 2>like we're a society that, like things affect us for

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<v Speaker 2>like a few days, and then we move on, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>and then it's over and we're back to like our

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<v Speaker 2>regular scheduled programming, And I really hope that that's not

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<v Speaker 2>the case with this, Like I hope that people are

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<v Speaker 2>more mindful. I hope that people are more cleanly. I

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<v Speaker 2>hope that people are more connected and really realize that

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<v Speaker 2>we are all in this together, in this life together,

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<v Speaker 2>and then we all are connected. And it's also kind

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<v Speaker 2>of scary too, like even in business, so I think

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<v Speaker 2>about like my my company, and like thinking about other

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<v Speaker 2>businesses that are been drastically affected by this, like the

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<v Speaker 2>idea that okay, like we've you have to adapt to

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<v Speaker 2>what's happening, and now like do we really Companies are

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<v Speaker 2>gonna start thinking do I really need these employees?

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<v Speaker 1>No, that's what's gonna happen.

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<v Speaker 2>Good do I do? I can? I just do everything?

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<v Speaker 2>AI They're gonna know what what?

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<v Speaker 3>What?

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<v Speaker 1>What positions are more or essential and not potential and

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<v Speaker 1>then have the you know, the means to let them

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<v Speaker 1>go because they've they've we've done it for three months

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<v Speaker 1>or whatever the fuck this is gonna be. Honestly, I

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<v Speaker 1>don't want to talk about it. Okay 's not okay, Honestly,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm over it. Like we're in the house. We know why,

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<v Speaker 1>Let's just be in the house. Let's just do what

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<v Speaker 1>we could do in the house be the best people,

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<v Speaker 1>which I'm realizing, like I'm just gonna have be the

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<v Speaker 1>best person I could be in the house, and maybe

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<v Speaker 1>when this ship is over, I'll be a better person overall,

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<v Speaker 1>because it is hard for me to focus and remember

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<v Speaker 1>to do shit. So now I don't have a choice

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<v Speaker 1>stay on schedule. I gotta do shit. I gotta fucking

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<v Speaker 1>monitor our kid teacher, blah blah blah.

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<v Speaker 2>What I will say in this time of in the house,

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<v Speaker 2>I've had a lot of self reflecting, and you know,

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<v Speaker 2>over the obviously our podcast is generally self reflecting. We've

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<v Speaker 2>done a few episodes about uh, you know, men are

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<v Speaker 2>still hoes? Or turning a hoe into a can we be?

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<v Speaker 2>Can you turn a hoe into a housewife? Or is

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<v Speaker 2>our podcast running our love life? You know, a lot

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<v Speaker 2>of reflecting on who we are as people that are

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<v Speaker 2>in the dating world, like who we were with our

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<v Speaker 2>baby daddies and who we were before then and Njamilave,

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<v Speaker 2>we're talking about our exes and we came up with

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<v Speaker 2>this great idea and so that's just that's what our

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<v Speaker 2>episode is going to be about.

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<v Speaker 1>Today.

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<v Speaker 2>We decided that we wanted to interview our exes to

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<v Speaker 2>kind of get perspective on what it is like to

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<v Speaker 2>date us, I mean, what it was like to date us, because.

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<v Speaker 1>Honestly, like these exes are from a long time there,

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<v Speaker 1>from a.

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<v Speaker 2>Long time ago, and it it'd be interesting to see

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<v Speaker 2>like the growth and also.

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<v Speaker 1>Who they thought their perception of us, And just honestly,

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<v Speaker 1>you only get our perception of.

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<v Speaker 2>Us from us.

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<v Speaker 1>So here's not an opportunity for us not only to

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<v Speaker 1>hear someone else's perception that we were once intimate with

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<v Speaker 1>a long time ago, but also for you to get

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<v Speaker 1>the perception of us from someone else, because all you

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<v Speaker 1>get is from us.

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<v Speaker 2>Wear the bomb and also like the type of people

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<v Speaker 2>we dated then, yeah, and who we were then.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah. So what let's get started. I feel like I'm

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<v Speaker 1>on YouTube. I feel like when the kids a watch YouTube.

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<v Speaker 1>But like, hey, guys, let's get started.

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<v Speaker 2>Well do you want to give So we're gonna call

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<v Speaker 2>Jamila's ex first, So do you want to give a

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<v Speaker 2>little backstory quickly? By the way, I'm really excited for

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<v Speaker 2>Jamila's X because you know, I've, as you guys know,

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<v Speaker 2>I've really gotten to know Jamila through the podcast or

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<v Speaker 2>maybe you don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>But me and.

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<v Speaker 2>Jamila, like we're not close friends before we started this podcast,

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<v Speaker 2>and now obviously we're best sties and you know, we're

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<v Speaker 2>up each other's ass all day. But I only know

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<v Speaker 2>Jamila to have dated men, you know, I only known

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<v Speaker 2>her with I don't even really I didn't even really

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<v Speaker 2>know her with her baby daddy was like the exit

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<v Speaker 2>out and then the residual you know, bullshit that's you know,

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<v Speaker 2>taken place over the last two years. But I don't

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<v Speaker 2>know you as a lesbian, and so I am just

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<v Speaker 2>really interested to know what that was, like who.

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<v Speaker 1>She is, well, I mean, okay, most of my long

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<v Speaker 1>term relationships, most of my relationships in general have been

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<v Speaker 1>with women. I've only had two boyfriends, my baby daddy

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<v Speaker 1>from high school, my high school sweetheart, and young Bay,

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<v Speaker 1>which was like a long distance relationship I guess at

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<v Speaker 1>this point a year ago or two years ago. So yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>most of my relationships and like living with people, I

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<v Speaker 1>mean like have been with women. And when I was

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<v Speaker 1>living in Atlanta and college, I was a hardcorel lesbian

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<v Speaker 1>for like a solid four or five years. So this

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<v Speaker 1>is my very first girlfriend. She went to Spellman, I

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<v Speaker 1>went to Clark. They're both in the you see in Atlanta.

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<v Speaker 1>And I always knew I liked girls even when I

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<v Speaker 1>was young, Like I had one girl that I grew

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<v Speaker 1>up with and I liked and she was kind of

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<v Speaker 1>like time boyish. So I like to date like studs

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<v Speaker 1>almost the like pretty kind of soft stud studs if

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<v Speaker 1>you don't know if that's like such a lesbian term.

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<v Speaker 1>There's like a butch girl and a femme is a

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<v Speaker 1>feminine girl that would be like me. And then there's

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<v Speaker 1>a stem, which is like a stem, a stem it's

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<v Speaker 1>like a stud, but like a soft stud, I know, yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>And then there's an age, which is like you could

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<v Speaker 1>be a feminine girl, but you're aggressive. So you're like,

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<v Speaker 1>I may look feminine, but I'm the aggressor in the relationship.

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<v Speaker 1>So anyway, this is my first girlfriend.

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<v Speaker 4>What were you?

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<v Speaker 2>I'm a fem Okay, not a stem and not a

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<v Speaker 2>stem or of ag? A stem? What does AG stand for?

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<v Speaker 1>Aggressive?

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<v Speaker 3>Oh?

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<v Speaker 1>Like an aggressive aggressive girl?

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, so I'm gonna.

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<v Speaker 1>Call her right now because she has shit to do

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<v Speaker 1>and we've been trying to do this.

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<v Speaker 2>For a week and okay, but uh is she remaining anonymous?

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<v Speaker 2>Her name or I don't.

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<v Speaker 1>Think she cares, but I'll ask her when she gets

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<v Speaker 1>on the phone. I don't know if I said it already,

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<v Speaker 1>but she was my first girlfriend in college. I saw her,

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, I like her, She's gonna be my girlfriend.

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<v Speaker 2>And then she was, so, you're sure you're not an ag?

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<v Speaker 2>I may be an age honestly. So here, let's give

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<v Speaker 2>her a call and see her.

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<v Speaker 1>I was going to give you a background on what happened,

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<v Speaker 1>but let's just see where her what her perspective is

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<v Speaker 1>before I blast myself.

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<v Speaker 5>Wait, it's okay, this bitch bitter.

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<v Speaker 1>Hi, it's me. It's me La.

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<v Speaker 2>Are you ready?

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<v Speaker 1>Are you ready to participate? Paid in the good Mom's

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<v Speaker 1>bad Choices? Questions for the exis? I just made that up.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, don gotta sound good.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, this is Erica's gonna ask you some questions.

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<v Speaker 1>She doesn't know my lesbian side, and she's very curious

0:12:13.080 --> 0:12:18.960
<v Speaker 1>to explore our relationship from ten years ago? Rights longer?

0:12:19.000 --> 0:12:20.760
<v Speaker 3>Did it? Was it longer than I? Oh? I guess

0:12:20.600 --> 0:12:22.360
<v Speaker 3>it's like twelve years ago.

0:12:22.600 --> 0:12:23.560
<v Speaker 1>Yes, it was tough ASO.

0:12:23.679 --> 0:12:27.600
<v Speaker 2>I was like, I was like, actually eighteen dang, she's

0:12:27.640 --> 0:12:28.679
<v Speaker 2>a baby.

0:12:29.200 --> 0:12:34.400
<v Speaker 6>Baby exact baby, I had like turned twenty one. I

0:12:34.440 --> 0:12:37.520
<v Speaker 6>turned twenty one, like I went to before, So.

0:12:37.480 --> 0:12:38.160
<v Speaker 2>You're older than that.

0:12:38.520 --> 0:12:41.400
<v Speaker 1>Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah definitely.

0:12:41.480 --> 0:12:47.800
<v Speaker 2>So tell me how you guys met the short version

0:12:47.880 --> 0:12:48.319
<v Speaker 2>I was there.

0:12:48.840 --> 0:12:51.000
<v Speaker 6>I was at the dorms, in her dorms because I

0:12:51.040 --> 0:12:53.880
<v Speaker 6>stayed off campus and my homie lived in her dormitory

0:12:54.320 --> 0:12:56.840
<v Speaker 6>and we was going to like the gay club that night.

0:12:57.440 --> 0:13:00.000
<v Speaker 6>And I went to the computer lab and I was like,

0:13:00.000 --> 0:13:01.400
<v Speaker 6>anybody wanted to go to gay club?

0:13:02.040 --> 0:13:04.240
<v Speaker 3>And guess who was like me?

0:13:06.120 --> 0:13:10.320
<v Speaker 1>That sounds about the same, And yeah, I.

0:13:10.240 --> 0:13:11.600
<v Speaker 6>Was like one of it was a lot of people

0:13:11.640 --> 0:13:13.040
<v Speaker 6>that had a car at that talked. Most of my

0:13:13.240 --> 0:13:14.640
<v Speaker 6>I had transferred.

0:13:14.120 --> 0:13:17.880
<v Speaker 1>From this is wait, wait guys, this is my smart

0:13:17.920 --> 0:13:21.000
<v Speaker 1>girlfriend who's the scientist and she's a biology major and

0:13:21.040 --> 0:13:23.160
<v Speaker 1>she went to Spellman, so yeah, this is this is

0:13:23.200 --> 0:13:24.880
<v Speaker 1>my bragging rights girlfriend.

0:13:27.880 --> 0:13:31.280
<v Speaker 3>Yeah. So yeah, so I pretty much was like the

0:13:31.320 --> 0:13:33.079
<v Speaker 3>transportation clerk for everybody.

0:13:33.320 --> 0:13:38.319
<v Speaker 6>She was the older the club, and uh, you.

0:13:38.280 --> 0:13:39.920
<v Speaker 3>Know she was that was it?

0:13:40.040 --> 0:13:41.440
<v Speaker 2>Did she fun on the first date?

0:13:43.640 --> 0:13:44.840
<v Speaker 3>No?

0:13:44.840 --> 0:13:44.920
<v Speaker 7>No?

0:13:45.800 --> 0:13:47.359
<v Speaker 2>Oh wow surprising.

0:13:47.640 --> 0:13:50.400
<v Speaker 1>I'm rather surprised myself.

0:13:51.400 --> 0:13:54.560
<v Speaker 2>Did you know when you how long? When was it?

0:13:54.640 --> 0:13:56.800
<v Speaker 2>When was it that you knew that you guys had

0:13:56.880 --> 0:13:59.400
<v Speaker 2>some sort of like attraction tour to each other and

0:13:59.440 --> 0:14:02.240
<v Speaker 2>that you know you you were actually going to start

0:14:02.320 --> 0:14:04.040
<v Speaker 2>dating or did it just kind of happen.

0:14:07.280 --> 0:14:07.600
<v Speaker 3>Dang?

0:14:08.720 --> 0:14:11.679
<v Speaker 6>I mean I guess I just like assumed it was

0:14:11.720 --> 0:14:14.280
<v Speaker 6>interested in when she wanted to go to the day club,

0:14:14.320 --> 0:14:15.199
<v Speaker 6>and so that's really all.

0:14:15.440 --> 0:14:16.160
<v Speaker 4>I'll go ahead.

0:14:16.160 --> 0:14:18.040
<v Speaker 3>I don't need it. I didn't care she was like

0:14:18.160 --> 0:14:18.640
<v Speaker 3>girls or not?

0:14:19.560 --> 0:14:22.880
<v Speaker 2>Did she did she make the first move?

0:14:25.320 --> 0:14:27.680
<v Speaker 3>I would say, I would say.

0:14:27.600 --> 0:14:30.400
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah she did.

0:14:30.480 --> 0:14:32.600
<v Speaker 1>Okay, I had plotted on her.

0:14:32.680 --> 0:14:33.480
<v Speaker 2>I knew that.

0:14:33.600 --> 0:14:35.480
<v Speaker 1>I was like, she's gonna be my girlfriend. I don't

0:14:35.520 --> 0:14:38.160
<v Speaker 1>know who that bitch is there? But there was another girl,

0:14:38.240 --> 0:14:40.280
<v Speaker 1>no her, Chris, Did I say her name? Do you

0:14:40.320 --> 0:14:41.120
<v Speaker 1>care if you say your name?

0:14:42.880 --> 0:14:45.840
<v Speaker 3>I mean, I don't know. I guess people. I don't know.

0:14:45.960 --> 0:14:46.760
<v Speaker 3>It's fun with me.

0:14:47.040 --> 0:14:51.840
<v Speaker 1>Okay, Well I said it, Chris. Oh yeah, I saw

0:14:51.840 --> 0:14:53.240
<v Speaker 1>her and I was like, Oh, that's gonna be my girlfriend.

0:14:53.240 --> 0:14:55.440
<v Speaker 1>She's cute. And so that day she she wandered her

0:14:55.440 --> 0:14:56.560
<v Speaker 1>ass in the computer lab.

0:14:56.600 --> 0:15:00.640
<v Speaker 2>When I was there, I was like bathing perfect. Basically

0:15:00.640 --> 0:15:07.600
<v Speaker 2>I plotted on her. So tell me about your relationship, Like,

0:15:07.760 --> 0:15:11.560
<v Speaker 2>did you guys you know what was what.

0:15:14.560 --> 0:15:15.520
<v Speaker 3>Was? Yeah?

0:15:15.520 --> 0:15:16.240
<v Speaker 1>Like, what was like?

0:15:16.480 --> 0:15:19.200
<v Speaker 2>So Jamila just ran us down like a list of

0:15:19.280 --> 0:15:22.800
<v Speaker 2>like what the different like lesbian like I said to

0:15:22.880 --> 0:15:26.760
<v Speaker 2>them like studs, stems, fems ags. I just yeah, what

0:15:26.760 --> 0:15:28.960
<v Speaker 2>would you what would you say Jamila falls under?

0:15:32.880 --> 0:15:34.520
<v Speaker 1>Okay, I told you that's what she said.

0:15:34.520 --> 0:15:35.640
<v Speaker 2>I said, I think you're like AG.

0:15:35.960 --> 0:15:37.720
<v Speaker 1>She said I was? She said, what about a G?

0:15:39.840 --> 0:15:42.400
<v Speaker 1>I entertained that I was maybe an AG for some time?

0:15:44.200 --> 0:15:47.560
<v Speaker 1>Really yeah, uh huh? Well what do you think you are?

0:15:47.640 --> 0:15:48.479
<v Speaker 1>Are you?

0:15:48.320 --> 0:15:48.600
<v Speaker 2>Are you?

0:15:48.680 --> 0:15:49.760
<v Speaker 1>What do you consider yourself?

0:15:51.000 --> 0:15:54.560
<v Speaker 3>I would probably say, I guess like in your in

0:15:54.600 --> 0:15:56.760
<v Speaker 3>your spectrum? Are you think that you think like A

0:15:57.200 --> 0:16:01.760
<v Speaker 3>or more more like and stuff? Or what is your spectrum? Oh?

0:16:01.760 --> 0:16:02.080
<v Speaker 1>I don't know.

0:16:02.080 --> 0:16:06.359
<v Speaker 2>I guess everyone has a different interpret soft.

0:16:06.120 --> 0:16:09.720
<v Speaker 6>Stood, which is like I'm not like super masculine, so

0:16:10.760 --> 0:16:12.840
<v Speaker 6>definitely not but which I guess it's the max the

0:16:12.920 --> 0:16:14.960
<v Speaker 6>max like the most meskline be.

0:16:15.360 --> 0:16:17.120
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, what's the most masculine?

0:16:17.120 --> 0:16:20.480
<v Speaker 1>You could be stud but butch okay, so it's butch

0:16:20.600 --> 0:16:22.680
<v Speaker 1>then stud then then soft stud.

0:16:22.960 --> 0:16:27.280
<v Speaker 6>I don't like a soft study, so that's still no.

0:16:27.720 --> 0:16:29.040
<v Speaker 3>I don't wearing girl clothes.

0:16:29.640 --> 0:16:33.680
<v Speaker 2>Okay, so what is stem girl you don't wear cloth like.

0:16:33.720 --> 0:16:36.360
<v Speaker 3>It stay okay with like be kind of versatile.

0:16:36.480 --> 0:16:38.640
<v Speaker 2>Like you can wear boy clothes sometimes and sometimes I

0:16:38.800 --> 0:16:39.240
<v Speaker 2>wear like.

0:16:39.240 --> 0:16:41.480
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, or they might wear like girl pants and like

0:16:41.560 --> 0:16:42.080
<v Speaker 3>big shirt.

0:16:42.920 --> 0:16:43.720
<v Speaker 2>So what do you wear?

0:16:45.440 --> 0:16:45.760
<v Speaker 4>I wear?

0:16:46.560 --> 0:16:55.280
<v Speaker 2>Okay? So what was the hardest thing about dating Jamila?

0:16:55.120 --> 0:16:58.160
<v Speaker 3>How you guess you're just curious about like everything?

0:16:58.880 --> 0:17:01.000
<v Speaker 2>What do you mean?

0:17:01.040 --> 0:17:03.640
<v Speaker 6>I think like curiously about like the lifestyle. And so

0:17:03.760 --> 0:17:06.000
<v Speaker 6>it was like for me, I guess I was I

0:17:06.040 --> 0:17:10.159
<v Speaker 6>was like wanting to be in like a dedicated, like

0:17:10.320 --> 0:17:15.000
<v Speaker 6>relationship scenario. And I think that once she got into

0:17:15.080 --> 0:17:19.240
<v Speaker 6>like like the lesbian lifestyle, she wanted to explore like everything.

0:17:20.119 --> 0:17:22.840
<v Speaker 2>Like did she want to explore with you? Or she

0:17:23.000 --> 0:17:26.800
<v Speaker 2>just wanted to kind of her you know people, did

0:17:26.880 --> 0:17:28.000
<v Speaker 2>you mean a cheat on you?

0:17:29.000 --> 0:17:30.160
<v Speaker 3>For sure? No?

0:17:30.320 --> 0:17:32.600
<v Speaker 2>I didn't.

0:17:32.640 --> 0:17:34.520
<v Speaker 1>Definitely No, I didn't.

0:17:34.560 --> 0:17:38.000
<v Speaker 2>We broke up and then I cheated. That's not cheating.

0:17:39.160 --> 0:17:44.199
<v Speaker 1>Broke up and then I met somebody else. I think, No,

0:17:44.560 --> 0:17:47.399
<v Speaker 1>I don't think that's just shut up.

0:17:47.480 --> 0:17:50.600
<v Speaker 2>So what happened? So what happened? Tell me when was

0:17:50.640 --> 0:17:54.080
<v Speaker 2>the what happened? Exactly? What I mean? You're in your memory.

0:17:53.840 --> 0:17:57.320
<v Speaker 3>Like completely psarchotic in college, I'm happy.

0:17:57.359 --> 0:18:00.320
<v Speaker 1>You acknowledged that, but who was Like I can tell

0:18:00.320 --> 0:18:02.000
<v Speaker 1>the truth, okay, if you can announce your TD.

0:18:02.720 --> 0:18:05.000
<v Speaker 2>But you you were psychotic in college?

0:18:05.840 --> 0:18:10.960
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, controlling, not like in patrolling in a bad way.

0:18:10.960 --> 0:18:12.639
<v Speaker 6>But I just needed to know, like what she do?

0:18:13.600 --> 0:18:17.159
<v Speaker 6>Like all the time, I was crazy, Like how long?

0:18:18.320 --> 0:18:19.440
<v Speaker 2>How long did you guys date?

0:18:20.680 --> 0:18:21.960
<v Speaker 3>It was like four months?

0:18:22.000 --> 0:18:26.840
<v Speaker 2>It was like first semester September to December.

0:18:28.720 --> 0:18:31.240
<v Speaker 3>It was so short. It was like so much happening

0:18:31.240 --> 0:18:33.720
<v Speaker 3>in a small period of time. It was like so dramatic.

0:18:34.119 --> 0:18:35.160
<v Speaker 1>It was very dramatic.

0:18:35.160 --> 0:18:39.040
<v Speaker 2>Go ahead, wait, wait, I'm not done yet. Would you

0:18:39.359 --> 0:18:44.640
<v Speaker 2>would you say that you loved Jamila for sure? Did

0:18:44.680 --> 0:18:45.400
<v Speaker 2>she break your heart?

0:18:46.600 --> 0:18:47.199
<v Speaker 3>Definitely?

0:18:47.880 --> 0:18:50.120
<v Speaker 2>How did you break your heart?

0:18:51.800 --> 0:18:52.080
<v Speaker 3>Guess?

0:18:52.480 --> 0:18:54.560
<v Speaker 6>I thought that she felt the same way I did

0:18:54.600 --> 0:18:59.720
<v Speaker 6>at the time, and when you know, things took a

0:18:59.760 --> 0:19:02.720
<v Speaker 6>turn for the worst, like she really wasn't like trying

0:19:02.720 --> 0:19:05.160
<v Speaker 6>to fight for a relationship, just like Okay, well.

0:19:05.119 --> 0:19:06.720
<v Speaker 3>This is just another person that wants to feel me,

0:19:06.760 --> 0:19:07.960
<v Speaker 3>so I'm just gonna be at them.

0:19:08.440 --> 0:19:12.520
<v Speaker 2>Oh so she left you for someone else, basically that's

0:19:12.520 --> 0:19:16.200
<v Speaker 2>how I feel. So then how did what did you

0:19:16.400 --> 0:19:18.359
<v Speaker 2>how did your relationship? Like, did you guys maintain a

0:19:18.400 --> 0:19:20.440
<v Speaker 2>really like, would you guys talk after that or when

0:19:20.440 --> 0:19:20.920
<v Speaker 2>it was over?

0:19:21.200 --> 0:19:22.639
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, we're just doing the most.

0:19:23.320 --> 0:19:23.840
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god.

0:19:24.080 --> 0:19:25.960
<v Speaker 2>And when you said that is remembered all the most

0:19:26.040 --> 0:19:26.520
<v Speaker 2>that we.

0:19:26.359 --> 0:19:27.960
<v Speaker 1>Were actually doing what was the most?

0:19:28.480 --> 0:19:32.200
<v Speaker 3>Did everything that people do in a relationship. That's my relationship.

0:19:32.320 --> 0:19:33.160
<v Speaker 2>That called police.

0:19:34.160 --> 0:19:35.640
<v Speaker 1>Actually that happened once.

0:19:36.640 --> 0:19:39.720
<v Speaker 6>Oh yeah, that No, that definitely happened. It happened when

0:19:39.960 --> 0:19:42.160
<v Speaker 6>when I guess I thought we were still together, we wasn't.

0:19:43.119 --> 0:19:45.920
<v Speaker 2>You thought we were still together, but we weren't together, right.

0:19:46.280 --> 0:19:47.960
<v Speaker 3>I get. I know, I wasn't aware.

0:19:48.160 --> 0:19:49.720
<v Speaker 2>I guess there was some great area there.

0:19:49.800 --> 0:19:52.120
<v Speaker 6>Maybe I was broken up up with at the time

0:19:52.200 --> 0:19:52.760
<v Speaker 6>because I thought we.

0:19:54.280 --> 0:19:59.560
<v Speaker 2>Didn't do Would you say that Jamila's communication is like

0:20:00.480 --> 0:20:03.119
<v Speaker 2>clear or unclear when it comes to relationships, because it

0:20:03.160 --> 0:20:05.399
<v Speaker 2>sounds like you thought you guys were in a relationship

0:20:05.440 --> 0:20:07.359
<v Speaker 2>and she didn't.

0:20:07.920 --> 0:20:09.800
<v Speaker 6>I just think that she is going to do her

0:20:09.800 --> 0:20:12.119
<v Speaker 6>own thing, Like I don't know if it was a

0:20:12.200 --> 0:20:13.160
<v Speaker 6>communication thing.

0:20:13.200 --> 0:20:14.919
<v Speaker 3>I think like it was so she just didn't want

0:20:14.960 --> 0:20:15.160
<v Speaker 3>to tell.

0:20:16.440 --> 0:20:17.960
<v Speaker 2>Was she the first girl you ever had sex with?

0:20:18.240 --> 0:20:20.000
<v Speaker 1>No, she wasn't the first girl I've had sex with,

0:20:20.960 --> 0:20:22.679
<v Speaker 1>But she was the first girl that I was like

0:20:22.800 --> 0:20:25.000
<v Speaker 1>officially ever in a like was my girlfriend?

0:20:25.600 --> 0:20:28.080
<v Speaker 2>And then so how did you tell your family? Like

0:20:28.080 --> 0:20:30.199
<v Speaker 2>how did you guys introduce your families? Like how did

0:20:30.200 --> 0:20:30.600
<v Speaker 2>that happen?

0:20:30.640 --> 0:20:34.359
<v Speaker 1>Well, I'm always been always like a very unapologetic person,

0:20:34.920 --> 0:20:37.679
<v Speaker 1>and maybe to my fault of mine.

0:20:37.520 --> 0:20:38.560
<v Speaker 2>But I was.

0:20:38.840 --> 0:20:40.639
<v Speaker 1>We were only together like four or five months, but

0:20:40.680 --> 0:20:42.520
<v Speaker 1>she came home with me for Christmas.

0:20:42.080 --> 0:20:44.639
<v Speaker 2>Break, like all three weeks. I was like, this is

0:20:44.680 --> 0:20:45.399
<v Speaker 2>my girlfriend.

0:20:45.440 --> 0:20:50.040
<v Speaker 1>I'm a lesbian now and uh yeah, everybody, hey, what's up?

0:20:53.600 --> 0:20:55.080
<v Speaker 1>She met she met my baby daddy, she met my

0:20:55.119 --> 0:20:57.480
<v Speaker 1>baby daddy.

0:20:57.040 --> 0:20:59.960
<v Speaker 2>My mom, my dad, My mom was like, no, my mom.

0:21:00.280 --> 0:21:02.680
<v Speaker 1>My mom liked her because she was a biology major

0:21:02.720 --> 0:21:04.400
<v Speaker 1>and so was my mom, and she went to Spelman.

0:21:04.800 --> 0:21:06.680
<v Speaker 1>It was it was very odd because my second girlfriend,

0:21:06.680 --> 0:21:08.280
<v Speaker 1>she was not feeling. She was like, why does she

0:21:08.320 --> 0:21:09.560
<v Speaker 1>have to sleep in the room with you? I'm like,

0:21:09.560 --> 0:21:12.399
<v Speaker 1>what are you talking about? So Chris. Everybody liked Chris.

0:21:12.840 --> 0:21:16.320
<v Speaker 1>She liked Bobby, like you know what, Like there was

0:21:16.520 --> 0:21:19.080
<v Speaker 1>no steps. I didn't break my family and I had

0:21:19.080 --> 0:21:20.840
<v Speaker 1>called them a couple of times to tell them now

0:21:20.840 --> 0:21:23.320
<v Speaker 1>I'm a lesbian. And then I'm like, now we're coming home.

0:21:23.440 --> 0:21:24.800
<v Speaker 1>And that was really much shit.

0:21:26.800 --> 0:21:31.679
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, so yeah, wait, I wait home. It was Christmas

0:21:31.800 --> 0:21:36.040
<v Speaker 3>and then like bye damn February broken up.

0:21:36.680 --> 0:21:40.960
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it was February and I I fucked up. I

0:21:41.000 --> 0:21:46.199
<v Speaker 1>had somebody in my dorm room and Chris. I had

0:21:46.240 --> 0:21:48.760
<v Speaker 1>met a girl at the club, and because I became

0:21:48.800 --> 0:21:52.919
<v Speaker 1>obsessed at the gay club. She's right, and then and

0:21:52.960 --> 0:21:55.719
<v Speaker 1>then I brought her to my dorm room because for

0:21:55.760 --> 0:21:57.800
<v Speaker 1>some reason, I was under impression and we were broken up.

0:21:57.840 --> 0:21:58.280
<v Speaker 8>She was not.

0:21:58.800 --> 0:22:01.119
<v Speaker 1>And I locked in my door dorm room door, but

0:22:01.160 --> 0:22:04.120
<v Speaker 1>we had like a joint bathroom between another room, and

0:22:04.240 --> 0:22:08.800
<v Speaker 1>Chris here came through the other room through the bathroom, oh,

0:22:08.800 --> 0:22:12.840
<v Speaker 1>and walked in on me and this other girl maked yep,

0:22:13.040 --> 0:22:14.040
<v Speaker 1>and then what happened.

0:22:13.880 --> 0:22:16.320
<v Speaker 3>It was what did you do?

0:22:17.520 --> 0:22:20.560
<v Speaker 6>I basically sucked up the whole entire room, everything that

0:22:20.640 --> 0:22:23.560
<v Speaker 6>was in there, tried to beat the girl up.

0:22:23.640 --> 0:22:24.520
<v Speaker 3>It was it was a lot.

0:22:25.520 --> 0:22:28.760
<v Speaker 1>She she threw a metal chair into my dorm mirror

0:22:28.840 --> 0:22:31.919
<v Speaker 1>and it like broke, like I think.

0:22:31.800 --> 0:22:36.080
<v Speaker 3>The actual the other mirror. She's like, got arrested. You

0:22:36.080 --> 0:22:38.800
<v Speaker 3>got arrested my campus police.

0:22:38.960 --> 0:22:43.200
<v Speaker 1>A campus police came, which is what what psycho lesbians

0:22:43.200 --> 0:22:47.120
<v Speaker 1>are generally psycho but she broke I had the new

0:22:47.160 --> 0:22:49.200
<v Speaker 1>Robin six CD I think she had given me.

0:22:49.400 --> 0:22:54.520
<v Speaker 2>She broke it in the hat. Oh you remember that specifically?

0:22:54.920 --> 0:22:59.320
<v Speaker 2>Was it Robin saying maybe phone? Oh you broke my phone?

0:22:59.520 --> 0:23:00.280
<v Speaker 2>Oh wow, you.

0:23:00.240 --> 0:23:02.240
<v Speaker 6>Were good at the had that was like part of

0:23:02.240 --> 0:23:04.520
<v Speaker 6>the stipulations of me. I had to like buy you

0:23:04.520 --> 0:23:05.240
<v Speaker 6>a new phone.

0:23:05.840 --> 0:23:07.120
<v Speaker 1>Did you buy me a new phone?

0:23:07.680 --> 0:23:07.920
<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

0:23:08.960 --> 0:23:10.680
<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, because I remember I was a brazer. I

0:23:10.680 --> 0:23:12.040
<v Speaker 1>remember those Motorola razors.

0:23:12.040 --> 0:23:14.480
<v Speaker 6>And I grabbed it and I like slammed it on

0:23:14.760 --> 0:23:16.679
<v Speaker 6>on the ground in your room and broke it into pieces.

0:23:16.720 --> 0:23:19.800
<v Speaker 6>And like the stipulation for you, like not the charges

0:23:19.920 --> 0:23:21.480
<v Speaker 6>was I had to buy you a new phone, and

0:23:21.640 --> 0:23:24.400
<v Speaker 6>I had to go to like anger management on campus

0:23:24.440 --> 0:23:25.399
<v Speaker 6>for like two months.

0:23:25.440 --> 0:23:27.760
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, I didn't know this. I didn't go

0:23:27.400 --> 0:23:29.080
<v Speaker 1>to management that way.

0:23:29.160 --> 0:23:30.919
<v Speaker 3>And then it worked allow me and I couldn't go

0:23:30.920 --> 0:23:32.200
<v Speaker 3>with your anymore.

0:23:33.000 --> 0:23:34.200
<v Speaker 2>Oh oh my god.

0:23:34.200 --> 0:23:35.560
<v Speaker 1>Were you sneaking in at one point?

0:23:36.480 --> 0:23:38.439
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, you're in the back to go here on my friends.

0:23:39.400 --> 0:23:40.840
<v Speaker 1>I think I was helping you sneak in because I

0:23:40.840 --> 0:23:42.720
<v Speaker 1>lived I lived by the exit, and I felt bad

0:23:42.800 --> 0:23:43.960
<v Speaker 1>kind of well, yeah, you would like.

0:23:44.000 --> 0:23:46.880
<v Speaker 6>Me sneaking like for but after that it wasn't really

0:23:46.920 --> 0:23:49.000
<v Speaker 6>that cool. It for a back too, like a few months,

0:23:49.000 --> 0:23:49.959
<v Speaker 6>I guess, still like the summer.

0:23:50.200 --> 0:23:51.520
<v Speaker 2>We weren't cool for a while.

0:23:51.920 --> 0:23:54.280
<v Speaker 1>But then this is let me just let you into

0:23:54.320 --> 0:23:57.480
<v Speaker 1>my sneaky horrishness. We weren't cool for a while, and

0:23:57.520 --> 0:23:59.280
<v Speaker 1>I say it, I started dating.

0:23:59.280 --> 0:24:01.639
<v Speaker 2>Oh but you know, I started dating the other girl.

0:24:02.920 --> 0:24:05.200
<v Speaker 1>And when the other girl started getting on my nerves

0:24:05.280 --> 0:24:08.800
<v Speaker 1>because she did, I started calling Chris and I was staying.

0:24:08.840 --> 0:24:10.160
<v Speaker 2>I had moved off a campus.

0:24:10.200 --> 0:24:11.760
<v Speaker 1>It was the summer, and I moved in with the

0:24:11.760 --> 0:24:14.080
<v Speaker 1>girl and her parents, and then I was getting tired

0:24:14.080 --> 0:24:16.120
<v Speaker 1>of her and I would have Chris sneak and come

0:24:16.200 --> 0:24:20.719
<v Speaker 1>get me while she was at work from the girl's

0:24:20.800 --> 0:24:25.439
<v Speaker 1>mom's house. And even one time, oh my god, this

0:24:25.520 --> 0:24:28.080
<v Speaker 1>is so bad. Even at one time me and Chris

0:24:28.119 --> 0:24:31.919
<v Speaker 1>went on a getaway. We went with We went on

0:24:31.960 --> 0:24:36.720
<v Speaker 1>a weekend vacation and I had my girlfriend who was.

0:24:36.680 --> 0:24:37.640
<v Speaker 2>I cheated on her.

0:24:37.800 --> 0:24:39.840
<v Speaker 1>Wait, the girlfriend she beat up in my dorm room

0:24:40.520 --> 0:24:42.159
<v Speaker 1>dropped me off at a gas station. I told her

0:24:42.160 --> 0:24:43.560
<v Speaker 1>I was going to stay at my cousin's house, who

0:24:43.600 --> 0:24:47.120
<v Speaker 1>lived in Georgia, and then Chris picked me up from

0:24:47.440 --> 0:24:51.159
<v Speaker 1>the gas station and then we went on like a

0:24:51.200 --> 0:24:53.639
<v Speaker 1>weekend get away like at a cabin or something.

0:24:53.760 --> 0:24:58.639
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, So Chris, what would you say is

0:24:58.680 --> 0:25:05.920
<v Speaker 2>Jamila's worst trade our worst trait?

0:25:06.760 --> 0:25:07.199
<v Speaker 3>I don't know.

0:25:07.320 --> 0:25:09.399
<v Speaker 6>I think it's maybe like not knowing like when to

0:25:09.440 --> 0:25:12.560
<v Speaker 6>turn like to turn it and turn it down, like

0:25:12.680 --> 0:25:13.520
<v Speaker 6>turn turned.

0:25:13.320 --> 0:25:17.439
<v Speaker 2>Down, turn turned down in what way? Like party or

0:25:17.560 --> 0:25:19.399
<v Speaker 2>just like or just like sit down and be in

0:25:19.440 --> 0:25:20.880
<v Speaker 2>a relationship like settle down.

0:25:21.240 --> 0:25:23.400
<v Speaker 3>I mean, there's her point, you know what I'm saying.

0:25:23.520 --> 0:25:25.359
<v Speaker 6>We used to go out and we'd be on club

0:25:25.400 --> 0:25:27.280
<v Speaker 6>like together it like okay, maybe you were getting a

0:25:27.280 --> 0:25:29.240
<v Speaker 6>little bud when you not when you out your friends

0:25:29.280 --> 0:25:30.320
<v Speaker 6>without like yours.

0:25:30.840 --> 0:25:33.159
<v Speaker 3>We'll be together and she'll be like humping on on

0:25:33.240 --> 0:25:36.720
<v Speaker 3>all these people, and like I'm like, what like the

0:25:36.760 --> 0:25:38.560
<v Speaker 3>person a person asking a relationship.

0:25:38.680 --> 0:25:40.280
<v Speaker 6>I don't know if she like she knows how to

0:25:40.320 --> 0:25:43.119
<v Speaker 6>turn off that like okay, now you're like with somebody

0:25:43.200 --> 0:25:45.520
<v Speaker 6>so like a certain little my respect, you know what

0:25:45.560 --> 0:25:46.040
<v Speaker 6>I'm saying.

0:25:46.400 --> 0:25:48.520
<v Speaker 2>Okay, so she has a lack of respect.

0:25:50.160 --> 0:25:50.480
<v Speaker 7>There we go.

0:25:50.600 --> 0:25:53.000
<v Speaker 3>Let's just believe that.

0:25:51.520 --> 0:25:54.639
<v Speaker 2>That was eighteen year old and me. But I don't know,

0:25:54.680 --> 0:25:59.399
<v Speaker 2>this sounds a little similar I feel said, we're not

0:25:59.400 --> 0:26:04.359
<v Speaker 2>in a relation. I think that's not me now, but

0:26:04.400 --> 0:26:05.440
<v Speaker 2>I know her eighteen.

0:26:05.280 --> 0:26:07.159
<v Speaker 3>Year old self obviously, you know, well, I.

0:26:07.160 --> 0:26:09.280
<v Speaker 2>Would say the things that I've heard about Jamila and

0:26:09.320 --> 0:26:11.840
<v Speaker 2>dating wise in the recent years that i've known her

0:26:11.840 --> 0:26:15.159
<v Speaker 2>as that that people think that she's too friendly. Her

0:26:15.320 --> 0:26:18.400
<v Speaker 2>her her men that she's dated, think that she's too friendly,

0:26:19.080 --> 0:26:19.920
<v Speaker 2>which I think.

0:26:20.119 --> 0:26:23.080
<v Speaker 3>That's that and that's pretty much yeah, that's exactly I could.

0:26:23.280 --> 0:26:25.240
<v Speaker 3>I could say that as I can say that, that's

0:26:26.200 --> 0:26:27.840
<v Speaker 3>so what a nice to put it?

0:26:28.000 --> 0:26:29.680
<v Speaker 2>What's what's her best trait?

0:26:31.760 --> 0:26:31.960
<v Speaker 3>You no?

0:26:32.640 --> 0:26:32.680
<v Speaker 4>Like?

0:26:32.680 --> 0:26:35.400
<v Speaker 6>Because the thing about she's probably one of my only

0:26:35.440 --> 0:26:38.480
<v Speaker 6>exists I can hit up. You cannot talk for the

0:26:38.600 --> 0:26:41.199
<v Speaker 6>years and we'll come to the one day randomly and

0:26:41.240 --> 0:26:43.840
<v Speaker 6>we could talk for hours about like the stupidest ship

0:26:44.320 --> 0:26:46.840
<v Speaker 6>and still say the stupid jokes and we just last

0:26:46.880 --> 0:26:48.919
<v Speaker 6>they will have about the best time. And so I

0:26:49.080 --> 0:26:52.280
<v Speaker 6>feel like, you know, so if something about like her

0:26:52.320 --> 0:26:57.560
<v Speaker 6>personality just makes me feel like comfortable regardless of whatever

0:26:57.600 --> 0:26:59.560
<v Speaker 6>we've been through, like that's so old or whatever. But

0:27:00.400 --> 0:27:02.960
<v Speaker 6>I enjoyed talking to her, and I think that like

0:27:03.640 --> 0:27:05.399
<v Speaker 6>she should down the earth type of person.

0:27:07.320 --> 0:27:12.000
<v Speaker 2>Would you say you guys are in sex in sync sexually, Like,

0:27:12.040 --> 0:27:13.440
<v Speaker 2>did you guys have really great sex?

0:27:14.400 --> 0:27:14.560
<v Speaker 4>Oh?

0:27:14.640 --> 0:27:15.639
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I always.

0:27:15.840 --> 0:27:17.840
<v Speaker 6>Even all my friends like I will tell like they

0:27:17.880 --> 0:27:20.600
<v Speaker 6>would we have like random conversations like what's the best

0:27:20.640 --> 0:27:21.160
<v Speaker 6>like six.

0:27:21.000 --> 0:27:23.840
<v Speaker 3>Person parton you've had? And they would answer for.

0:27:24.359 --> 0:27:27.560
<v Speaker 2>I was like, I don't know, so so jamila's the

0:27:27.600 --> 0:27:28.560
<v Speaker 2>best sex you've ever had?

0:27:30.480 --> 0:27:36.560
<v Speaker 3>Yes, I guess, I guess. I'll say. I mean, I'm like,

0:27:36.800 --> 0:27:37.879
<v Speaker 3>I'm one right now.

0:27:37.920 --> 0:27:43.479
<v Speaker 1>But you said talking to someone right now. Basically, if

0:27:43.520 --> 0:27:47.080
<v Speaker 1>that person here is not you, we're not talking about you.

0:27:48.720 --> 0:27:50.920
<v Speaker 6>I'm sorry, but the person that I would say, yes,

0:27:51.000 --> 0:27:53.320
<v Speaker 6>but before before that thing, Yeah.

0:27:53.960 --> 0:27:55.520
<v Speaker 1>I get you got to say that's to be safe.

0:27:57.320 --> 0:27:58.840
<v Speaker 1>I said, I get you gotta say that to be safe.

0:27:58.880 --> 0:27:59.920
<v Speaker 1>It's cool and I'm just kidding.

0:28:03.560 --> 0:28:03.800
<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

0:28:04.560 --> 0:28:09.200
<v Speaker 2>Uh, would you say, what did you learn from the relationship?

0:28:11.080 --> 0:28:16.680
<v Speaker 3>I think I learned how to like red flag, see

0:28:16.720 --> 0:28:17.280
<v Speaker 3>red flag?

0:28:19.800 --> 0:28:21.879
<v Speaker 2>You thought you learned how to see red flags?

0:28:21.960 --> 0:28:24.639
<v Speaker 6>You know, like from the beginning, if I'm know that

0:28:24.840 --> 0:28:29.440
<v Speaker 6>this person's personality might not necessarily mess with me being

0:28:29.440 --> 0:28:31.560
<v Speaker 6>as psychotic as I am, I probably need someone that's

0:28:31.560 --> 0:28:34.199
<v Speaker 6>more like the type of person that checks in or

0:28:34.280 --> 0:28:36.640
<v Speaker 6>reassures me that I'm like the only person for them.

0:28:37.080 --> 0:28:39.320
<v Speaker 6>That's the type of person I need, not a person

0:28:39.720 --> 0:28:40.920
<v Speaker 6>that's extra friendly.

0:28:41.640 --> 0:28:46.400
<v Speaker 1>Okay, we were you surprised to hear that I had

0:28:46.400 --> 0:28:48.320
<v Speaker 1>a bit like having a baby, that I was a mom?

0:28:48.480 --> 0:28:49.880
<v Speaker 1>Was that was that strange?

0:28:50.400 --> 0:28:50.440
<v Speaker 6>No?

0:28:51.000 --> 0:28:53.520
<v Speaker 3>I want a surprised to hear that you got pregnant.

0:28:53.840 --> 0:28:56.479
<v Speaker 1>Okay, Okay, I was probably more I was.

0:28:56.600 --> 0:28:57.920
<v Speaker 3>I didn't I thought it would be a great mom.

0:28:58.080 --> 0:29:01.000
<v Speaker 6>I mean more, I mean I didn't ever like, I

0:29:01.040 --> 0:29:03.000
<v Speaker 6>didn't ever think like you wouldn't be a good umber nothing.

0:29:03.160 --> 0:29:05.000
<v Speaker 3>I thought it was a great mom. It's just I

0:29:05.000 --> 0:29:06.920
<v Speaker 3>think you're I think you're a great person, just not

0:29:08.000 --> 0:29:09.120
<v Speaker 3>enough to be in a relationship.

0:29:12.360 --> 0:29:18.720
<v Speaker 2>Okay, does Jamila's because I always make fun of Jamila,

0:29:18.800 --> 0:29:22.280
<v Speaker 2>right because she always says like she's a former lesbian,

0:29:22.360 --> 0:29:25.160
<v Speaker 2>and I'm like, you can't be a former lesbian, Like

0:29:25.200 --> 0:29:28.360
<v Speaker 2>you either are a lesbian or you're not. And I

0:29:28.520 --> 0:29:31.680
<v Speaker 2>always wonder, like, do women who are actual lesbians who

0:29:31.720 --> 0:29:35.640
<v Speaker 2>do not entertain men? Is that annoying for you? Like

0:29:35.680 --> 0:29:39.520
<v Speaker 2>do you think her lack of like her like I'm

0:29:39.560 --> 0:29:42.719
<v Speaker 2>a former lesbian? I'm bye, but I'm like, does that

0:29:42.760 --> 0:29:45.440
<v Speaker 2>annoy you or was it surprising that she started dating

0:29:45.440 --> 0:29:45.800
<v Speaker 2>a man.

0:29:46.920 --> 0:29:48.600
<v Speaker 6>No, I'm not surprised at all. But I used to

0:29:48.720 --> 0:29:50.080
<v Speaker 6>have to when we were together.

0:29:50.160 --> 0:29:51.760
<v Speaker 3>I would talk to Bob young Boom.

0:29:53.040 --> 0:29:55.000
<v Speaker 2>You would talk to Bob you don't say his name,

0:29:56.080 --> 0:29:59.960
<v Speaker 2>you would talk you would, you would talk to her

0:30:00.040 --> 0:30:01.240
<v Speaker 2>baby diving on the phone.

0:30:01.960 --> 0:30:03.960
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, we were together, and.

0:30:07.920 --> 0:30:10.400
<v Speaker 2>Oh wow, you really bring all of them in, don't you.

0:30:11.680 --> 0:30:15.360
<v Speaker 1>I mean Bobby, Oh god, he would never go anywhere,

0:30:15.400 --> 0:30:18.520
<v Speaker 1>he would never like. We've been friends for so long,

0:30:18.800 --> 0:30:21.560
<v Speaker 1>and she understood that. And actually, in the beginning of

0:30:21.560 --> 0:30:24.920
<v Speaker 1>our relationship, me and Chris, we were such hardcore lesbians,

0:30:24.960 --> 0:30:27.959
<v Speaker 1>or at least I was becoming such a hardcore lesbian

0:30:28.320 --> 0:30:30.760
<v Speaker 1>that she took me to like a lesbian meetup group

0:30:30.880 --> 0:30:32.280
<v Speaker 1>at Spelman.

0:30:32.560 --> 0:30:34.320
<v Speaker 2>What was it called? Do you remember Africa?

0:30:36.200 --> 0:30:38.040
<v Speaker 3>They have like an Instagram page.

0:30:37.760 --> 0:30:39.040
<v Speaker 1>They do Oh my god, attack me.

0:30:39.080 --> 0:30:40.800
<v Speaker 2>So I would love to see what's going on in Afrikiti.

0:30:41.360 --> 0:30:44.160
<v Speaker 1>I don't even know why the fucking lesbian group is

0:30:44.200 --> 0:30:45.400
<v Speaker 1>called fucking Afrikiti.

0:30:46.640 --> 0:30:47.800
<v Speaker 2>But when I first went there.

0:30:47.680 --> 0:30:49.760
<v Speaker 1>I was like, well, I like, I like people, and

0:30:50.120 --> 0:30:52.040
<v Speaker 1>all the lesbians are turning their noses up at me

0:30:52.120 --> 0:30:54.800
<v Speaker 1>and saying like I was. I was like, lesbians don't

0:30:54.840 --> 0:30:57.080
<v Speaker 1>like buy girls. And then I was like crowd and

0:30:57.120 --> 0:30:59.000
<v Speaker 1>by I was like I like everybody, and they're like

0:30:59.400 --> 0:31:00.800
<v Speaker 1>she wants her can eat it too.

0:31:01.200 --> 0:31:04.120
<v Speaker 2>So Chris, she always knew what what like who I was.

0:31:04.200 --> 0:31:06.760
<v Speaker 1>It wasn't like I was in denial, even though at

0:31:06.960 --> 0:31:08.320
<v Speaker 1>one point I was like I don't need boy, I

0:31:08.320 --> 0:31:09.760
<v Speaker 1>don't need guys anymore. I'm good.

0:31:11.600 --> 0:31:19.280
<v Speaker 6>How for a minute, did you yeah, we have sex

0:31:19.320 --> 0:31:19.800
<v Speaker 6>with the strap on?

0:31:19.960 --> 0:31:21.320
<v Speaker 3>Right? Yeah?

0:31:21.800 --> 0:31:23.959
<v Speaker 1>Yeah you might.

0:31:24.320 --> 0:31:26.080
<v Speaker 2>You're the first girl who I've ever had sex with

0:31:26.240 --> 0:31:26.680
<v Speaker 2>the shtrap on?

0:31:27.320 --> 0:31:27.560
<v Speaker 1>Really?

0:31:27.720 --> 0:31:27.800
<v Speaker 7>Ye?

0:31:28.320 --> 0:31:32.840
<v Speaker 2>Did you guys have three things? No?

0:31:32.840 --> 0:31:35.760
<v Speaker 1>No, no, you sound like you sound like Chris.

0:31:35.760 --> 0:31:37.520
<v Speaker 2>You don't sound like you built for three. She's not.

0:31:39.480 --> 0:31:41.560
<v Speaker 2>I'm happy you observed so quickly.

0:31:41.960 --> 0:31:45.920
<v Speaker 1>She is not learn you know what I'm saying.

0:31:46.480 --> 0:31:48.400
<v Speaker 2>I already picked you up, but I got you that.

0:31:48.440 --> 0:31:53.360
<v Speaker 2>I'm crazy. You know I'm a little bit like you. Okay, Yeah,

0:31:53.360 --> 0:31:55.760
<v Speaker 2>I don't like to share a lot?

0:31:56.040 --> 0:31:56.600
<v Speaker 3>What uh?

0:31:56.760 --> 0:32:02.480
<v Speaker 2>Okay? So two more questions. Okay, how would you describe Jamila?

0:32:03.360 --> 0:32:12.960
<v Speaker 6>I would say that she's like loving, fun, like charismatic.

0:32:15.440 --> 0:32:19.680
<v Speaker 3>It's like a happy, sneaky person.

0:32:23.520 --> 0:32:27.840
<v Speaker 2>Thank you A happy, sneaky person. Put that on your LinkedIn.

0:32:28.000 --> 0:32:34.760
<v Speaker 2>I'm definitely going to And would you ever date Jamila again?

0:32:36.160 --> 0:32:38.400
<v Speaker 6>You know, we had this conversation almost all the time,

0:32:39.160 --> 0:32:42.440
<v Speaker 6>like when we have our annual conversation or once a

0:32:42.520 --> 0:32:46.480
<v Speaker 6>year talk, we talk about it. If she tells me,

0:32:46.520 --> 0:32:47.760
<v Speaker 6>you know what I'm saying, it's like, you know, like

0:32:47.840 --> 0:32:50.760
<v Speaker 6>you're get married, and you know, like it's always a

0:32:50.880 --> 0:32:53.920
<v Speaker 6>thought in my mind. But you know, I feel like

0:32:54.000 --> 0:32:56.160
<v Speaker 6>it would just be because we would.

0:32:56.000 --> 0:32:57.720
<v Speaker 3>Have so much fun, you know what I'm saying.

0:32:57.720 --> 0:32:59.760
<v Speaker 6>I don't know if it would be like something week

0:33:00.040 --> 0:33:01.920
<v Speaker 6>that could possibly be like serious.

0:33:02.480 --> 0:33:06.320
<v Speaker 1>We've never uh we uh, I'm gonna We've always had

0:33:06.360 --> 0:33:07.240
<v Speaker 1>a lot of fun together.

0:33:07.360 --> 0:33:09.920
<v Speaker 2>We always have fun. Yeah, so it's safe to say

0:33:09.960 --> 0:33:13.080
<v Speaker 2>that you don't regret the relationship now.

0:33:13.120 --> 0:33:14.240
<v Speaker 3>I think I learned a lot.

0:33:14.400 --> 0:33:17.520
<v Speaker 6>And I think it was like the relationship moved so

0:33:17.760 --> 0:33:20.360
<v Speaker 6>fast because that fore much like seemed like myself because

0:33:20.360 --> 0:33:21.840
<v Speaker 6>I feel like we was talking about get married and.

0:33:22.600 --> 0:33:23.840
<v Speaker 2>Were we talking about getting married?

0:33:24.840 --> 0:33:27.680
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, it was like yeah, you know, what the hell

0:33:27.800 --> 0:33:31.320
<v Speaker 3>is gonna do anyway? Like when we get married? And

0:33:31.400 --> 0:33:35.160
<v Speaker 3>so but I think that I learned a lot.

0:33:35.880 --> 0:33:37.800
<v Speaker 6>Just I think like a lot that helped me, even

0:33:37.800 --> 0:33:40.240
<v Speaker 6>though I obviously made way more mistakes going down the line,

0:33:40.280 --> 0:33:45.040
<v Speaker 6>but I learned different things about like myself and like

0:33:45.080 --> 0:33:47.120
<v Speaker 6>how serious I feel like I you know, I probably

0:33:47.600 --> 0:33:50.640
<v Speaker 6>needed to tone down, you know, how crazy I was,

0:33:50.720 --> 0:33:51.400
<v Speaker 6>which I have.

0:33:52.040 --> 0:33:55.440
<v Speaker 1>Actually, Oh that's really good to know. I'm actually way

0:33:55.520 --> 0:33:59.160
<v Speaker 1>less sneaky and more communicative these days. Oh, that's so good.

0:33:59.320 --> 0:34:03.080
<v Speaker 1>Just in case you're wonder Okay, just the case marriage

0:34:03.120 --> 0:34:04.280
<v Speaker 1>was still on the table.

0:34:07.400 --> 0:34:09.600
<v Speaker 3>Got you? Got you all right?

0:34:09.640 --> 0:34:13.680
<v Speaker 2>Well, I think I think that's did I miss anything?

0:34:13.719 --> 0:34:14.279
<v Speaker 1>I think that's it.

0:34:14.400 --> 0:34:16.240
<v Speaker 2>I think that I feel like I got a true

0:34:16.560 --> 0:34:19.960
<v Speaker 2>understanding of nineteen year old lesbian Jami.

0:34:21.400 --> 0:34:24.160
<v Speaker 1>Thank you Chris for coming through for me today. I

0:34:24.239 --> 0:34:26.080
<v Speaker 1>really appreciate you participating.

0:34:27.000 --> 0:34:30.879
<v Speaker 2>Of course, you have fun today, be safe, wear your

0:34:30.880 --> 0:34:36.239
<v Speaker 2>mask and I can't keep us updated on Corona. Yes, yes, yes,

0:34:36.320 --> 0:34:38.160
<v Speaker 2>our our resident scientists.

0:34:38.239 --> 0:34:41.120
<v Speaker 1>This is also a resident scientist. When we have your

0:34:41.120 --> 0:34:43.480
<v Speaker 1>any science questions, we asked, Chris.

0:34:43.520 --> 0:34:45.919
<v Speaker 3>Did you have any questions? Hit me up. I gotta

0:34:45.960 --> 0:34:48.640
<v Speaker 3>answer for everything, all right.

0:34:48.560 --> 0:34:50.200
<v Speaker 2>But bye, I love you all right?

0:34:50.200 --> 0:34:50.600
<v Speaker 4>Bye.

0:34:52.400 --> 0:34:54.560
<v Speaker 2>Oh I'm like.

0:34:54.520 --> 0:34:55.879
<v Speaker 1>A sweating I don't even know why.

0:34:55.960 --> 0:34:59.200
<v Speaker 2>I can tell you're moving around like a crackhead, swaying

0:34:59.239 --> 0:35:00.759
<v Speaker 2>back in the what are you gonna say?

0:35:00.760 --> 0:35:02.920
<v Speaker 1>What is this bitch you gonna say? And that was

0:35:02.960 --> 0:35:03.799
<v Speaker 1>actually the better one?

0:35:03.840 --> 0:35:04.120
<v Speaker 3>Great?

0:35:04.719 --> 0:35:06.759
<v Speaker 2>Oh you left? Oh you left? You let the better

0:35:06.800 --> 0:35:08.640
<v Speaker 2>one answer, I'm trying to get the dirt. I'm trying

0:35:08.640 --> 0:35:10.960
<v Speaker 2>to get the TT. Why can't we get the t T?

0:35:11.160 --> 0:35:14.160
<v Speaker 1>I mean, we're gonna call that one too, okay, but uh, yeah,

0:35:14.239 --> 0:35:16.840
<v Speaker 1>that was my very first lesbian girlfriend.

0:35:17.600 --> 0:35:18.760
<v Speaker 2>It was very serious.

0:35:18.840 --> 0:35:19.040
<v Speaker 7>Then.

0:35:21.600 --> 0:35:23.839
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, do you feel like you got a better glimpse at.

0:35:23.719 --> 0:35:24.720
<v Speaker 1>My lesbian life?

0:35:25.320 --> 0:35:27.400
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, a little bit. I mean, I guess i'd have

0:35:27.440 --> 0:35:32.400
<v Speaker 2>to be there. Yeah, I think that some of the

0:35:32.400 --> 0:35:36.440
<v Speaker 2>things she said I feel like I've heard before. And

0:35:36.520 --> 0:35:38.719
<v Speaker 2>you're in like in talking with you about you know,

0:35:38.760 --> 0:35:42.640
<v Speaker 2>what your most recent, you know, dating situations have been,

0:35:42.680 --> 0:35:45.200
<v Speaker 2>which is that you know, oftentimes people think that you

0:35:45.239 --> 0:35:49.680
<v Speaker 2>are too friendly or that you know, you know, she

0:35:49.760 --> 0:35:52.480
<v Speaker 2>seems like the type of person that wants a committed relationship,

0:35:52.880 --> 0:35:57.160
<v Speaker 2>and I think it probably at that time you didn't

0:35:57.160 --> 0:35:59.920
<v Speaker 2>know how to express what you You probably didn't even

0:35:59.920 --> 0:36:02.600
<v Speaker 2>know what you needed or what you want. Because even

0:36:02.640 --> 0:36:05.080
<v Speaker 2>now you still when you say your ideal man would

0:36:05.120 --> 0:36:09.600
<v Speaker 2>be or partner would be someone who is like encouraging

0:36:09.640 --> 0:36:12.840
<v Speaker 2>you to go and hang out with other people, watching

0:36:12.880 --> 0:36:16.920
<v Speaker 2>you dance with people taking your nude photos. I can't

0:36:16.920 --> 0:36:19.279
<v Speaker 2>take anyone who's really possessive. It's not gonna like me.

0:36:20.239 --> 0:36:22.680
<v Speaker 2>So she was possessive again. She was actually crazy.

0:36:22.680 --> 0:36:25.640
<v Speaker 1>I'm happily she acknowledged that because she's like a stud

0:36:25.760 --> 0:36:30.879
<v Speaker 1>or whatever. But she's super emotional, super emotional, crying a lot.

0:36:31.160 --> 0:36:33.000
<v Speaker 1>At one point, she was crying under my bed because

0:36:33.000 --> 0:36:34.560
<v Speaker 1>she missed her mom, and I was like, you gotta

0:36:34.560 --> 0:36:36.359
<v Speaker 1>call her, just callar.

0:36:37.960 --> 0:36:40.680
<v Speaker 2>And no, I couldn't. I didn't understand. I couldn't deal

0:36:40.719 --> 0:36:40.960
<v Speaker 2>with that.

0:36:41.239 --> 0:36:44.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm not good at dealing with a lot of people's emotions.

0:36:44.719 --> 0:36:47.480
<v Speaker 1>I have my own, and so just like you don't

0:36:47.480 --> 0:36:50.680
<v Speaker 1>seem rational right now, like you gotta go. But just

0:36:50.800 --> 0:36:53.440
<v Speaker 1>I was very heartless and sometimes I still kind of

0:36:53.440 --> 0:36:55.120
<v Speaker 1>can be. And it's just like I feel like you

0:36:55.120 --> 0:36:57.960
<v Speaker 1>should calm down, and like that's not something I would do,

0:36:58.040 --> 0:37:01.880
<v Speaker 1>So what the fuck. I'm much more sensitive as a

0:37:01.960 --> 0:37:10.399
<v Speaker 1>human being now, So yeah, I'm I've grown, I think

0:37:10.440 --> 0:37:13.560
<v Speaker 1>a little. I probably could evolve in more places, but

0:37:13.640 --> 0:37:16.719
<v Speaker 1>for the most part, kind of I feel like she

0:37:16.800 --> 0:37:18.839
<v Speaker 1>contributed to that.

0:37:19.600 --> 0:37:20.000
<v Speaker 2>Got it?

0:37:20.120 --> 0:37:22.440
<v Speaker 1>Okay, So are you ready to call yours Erica?

0:37:23.200 --> 0:37:23.560
<v Speaker 3>All right?

0:37:23.719 --> 0:37:26.160
<v Speaker 2>Well when you give us a little intro on this one,

0:37:26.400 --> 0:37:30.480
<v Speaker 2>yeah sure, Okay. So my ex is the ex I

0:37:30.520 --> 0:37:34.600
<v Speaker 2>had before my baby daddy. We dated for three years

0:37:35.680 --> 0:37:43.120
<v Speaker 2>and yeah, from the time I was eighteen to twenty one.

0:37:44.960 --> 0:37:48.520
<v Speaker 2>Who was my first real I would say, like the

0:37:48.520 --> 0:37:51.600
<v Speaker 2>first real boyfriend I had, Like I had boyfriends in

0:37:51.680 --> 0:37:54.040
<v Speaker 2>high school, but I mean like mature boyfriend, like we

0:37:54.080 --> 0:37:55.879
<v Speaker 2>had lived on our own, like we could do whatever

0:37:55.880 --> 0:37:57.680
<v Speaker 2>the fuck we wanted when we wanted. Was your mom

0:37:57.760 --> 0:38:02.080
<v Speaker 2>like him initially? Okay, she encouraged the relationship.

0:38:02.080 --> 0:38:03.879
<v Speaker 1>Okay, so.

0:38:05.360 --> 0:38:08.160
<v Speaker 2>Let's give him a and just a little backstory, like

0:38:08.200 --> 0:38:13.680
<v Speaker 2>I have not talked to him and probably eight years

0:38:14.000 --> 0:38:16.160
<v Speaker 2>we broke like we broke up, and then like I

0:38:16.400 --> 0:38:19.799
<v Speaker 2>did not speak to him for years, like I would

0:38:19.880 --> 0:38:22.120
<v Speaker 2>never I was always shocked that I never ran into

0:38:22.200 --> 0:38:25.600
<v Speaker 2>him because we kind of ran in the same crowd.

0:38:25.640 --> 0:38:28.720
<v Speaker 2>He's in the entertainment industry and some capacity are you Okay.

0:38:28.520 --> 0:38:30.440
<v Speaker 1>My armpits are sweating.

0:38:31.600 --> 0:38:34.520
<v Speaker 2>And so we ended. I'll let him tell you the

0:38:34.560 --> 0:38:35.759
<v Speaker 2>story whatever, but.

0:38:37.360 --> 0:38:39.319
<v Speaker 1>So you won't be moving around like a crackhead. I'm

0:38:39.320 --> 0:38:40.359
<v Speaker 1>gonna give you something to do.

0:38:40.320 --> 0:38:45.160
<v Speaker 2>Okay, I uh, we didn't talk, and we recently, like

0:38:45.520 --> 0:38:48.120
<v Speaker 2>very recently, had a conversation, like I'm talking about like

0:38:48.120 --> 0:38:48.680
<v Speaker 2>two weeks ago.

0:38:48.719 --> 0:38:50.880
<v Speaker 1>And this is why this this episode even came up.

0:38:50.880 --> 0:38:52.840
<v Speaker 1>I think we had disgusted And then she's like, he

0:38:52.920 --> 0:38:55.920
<v Speaker 1>randomly called me and we facetimed, and I was like, oh,

0:38:55.960 --> 0:38:56.480
<v Speaker 1>and then we.

0:38:56.560 --> 0:38:59.880
<v Speaker 2>This birth this idea of calling our exes. Yeah, like

0:39:00.040 --> 0:39:03.200
<v Speaker 2>so unlike Jamila, like who's had contact with her ex

0:39:03.280 --> 0:39:07.600
<v Speaker 2>over the years, Like I've had zero none. So yeah,

0:39:08.520 --> 0:39:09.439
<v Speaker 2>let's give him a call.

0:39:10.000 --> 0:39:11.920
<v Speaker 1>What's his name again, I'm not saying his name.

0:39:12.200 --> 0:39:13.760
<v Speaker 2>I think it's fine. Okay, his name is Matt.

0:39:13.840 --> 0:39:16.200
<v Speaker 1>Okay, hopefully the answers.

0:39:17.120 --> 0:39:17.920
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, I'm.

0:39:17.760 --> 0:39:19.760
<v Speaker 1>Nervous to I know. I told you this one talking

0:39:19.760 --> 0:39:26.280
<v Speaker 1>about you is strange. Hey, hey, hey, Matt, how are you.

0:39:28.239 --> 0:39:28.439
<v Speaker 2>Good?

0:39:29.640 --> 0:39:29.960
<v Speaker 4>Good?

0:39:31.440 --> 0:39:38.839
<v Speaker 1>So we are recording now, Hey, hi, hello, and I'm

0:39:38.880 --> 0:39:40.920
<v Speaker 1>going to ask you a couple of questions about Erica

0:39:41.000 --> 0:39:42.680
<v Speaker 1>and your relationship ten years ago.

0:39:43.000 --> 0:39:45.960
<v Speaker 2>Is how did you and Erica meet?

0:39:48.880 --> 0:39:53.200
<v Speaker 7>Oh my goodness, but I might get in trouble for

0:39:53.239 --> 0:39:54.680
<v Speaker 7>this because I don't know if we were supposed to

0:39:54.719 --> 0:39:56.120
<v Speaker 7>be paid Erica.

0:39:56.680 --> 0:40:00.280
<v Speaker 2>Oh no, it was. Yeah, it was like a great

0:40:00.320 --> 0:40:03.560
<v Speaker 2>love affair. How'd you meet now?

0:40:03.640 --> 0:40:06.200
<v Speaker 7>I used to I used to work. I used to

0:40:06.239 --> 0:40:08.320
<v Speaker 7>work at a record label and she was actually my intern.

0:40:08.760 --> 0:40:12.840
<v Speaker 2>So oh no, oh my god, it's been.

0:40:12.760 --> 0:40:15.040
<v Speaker 7>It's been within years. So you know, I don't think

0:40:15.040 --> 0:40:15.440
<v Speaker 7>I can.

0:40:15.280 --> 0:40:15.920
<v Speaker 4>Get in trouble with this.

0:40:16.080 --> 0:40:17.560
<v Speaker 1>I think I think we're out of the scope of

0:40:17.560 --> 0:40:20.960
<v Speaker 1>the time period of that. How what's your age difference?

0:40:22.760 --> 0:40:26.360
<v Speaker 7>Oh, four years? Four years since she was nineteen, I

0:40:26.400 --> 0:40:27.480
<v Speaker 7>was twenty three.

0:40:28.200 --> 0:40:30.200
<v Speaker 2>Okay, yeah, I mean that sounds about it.

0:40:30.400 --> 0:40:36.440
<v Speaker 1>It was a little GARRONI Garni. So, because this is

0:40:36.480 --> 0:40:39.440
<v Speaker 1>like a forbidden relationship, who made the first move? Who

0:40:39.560 --> 0:40:42.520
<v Speaker 1>was the one initiating such relations.

0:40:43.640 --> 0:40:48.080
<v Speaker 7>It was totally me. It was obviously me, okay, trying

0:40:48.080 --> 0:40:52.879
<v Speaker 7>to figure out somebody. I think there was people who say, like, hey,

0:40:52.920 --> 0:40:55.560
<v Speaker 7>you guys should date, But I definitely have my owner

0:40:55.960 --> 0:40:59.440
<v Speaker 7>and I'm sure I made the first move. I don't

0:40:59.440 --> 0:41:01.960
<v Speaker 7>remember that in exactly when it was.

0:41:02.120 --> 0:41:04.759
<v Speaker 2>Yes, yes, we do. We know when it was. We

0:41:04.760 --> 0:41:08.319
<v Speaker 2>were on set. We were we were I was, I

0:41:08.440 --> 0:41:12.080
<v Speaker 2>was your intern, and we were shooting a music video.

0:41:12.680 --> 0:41:15.359
<v Speaker 4>And oh that day okay that day.

0:41:15.600 --> 0:41:18.239
<v Speaker 7>Because I also I thought we had already did some

0:41:18.320 --> 0:41:19.040
<v Speaker 7>flirting or something.

0:41:19.520 --> 0:41:21.680
<v Speaker 2>But yeah, okay, yeah, I think we had flirted. I

0:41:21.680 --> 0:41:24.640
<v Speaker 2>thought he was like he was like a few years

0:41:24.680 --> 0:41:26.759
<v Speaker 2>older than me. He had a good night like a

0:41:26.960 --> 0:41:29.080
<v Speaker 2>he had like a zone office, like he had a

0:41:29.120 --> 0:41:34.719
<v Speaker 2>real job. You know, I was impressed and ship. You know,

0:41:34.920 --> 0:41:36.879
<v Speaker 2>I was still like living at home. I gotta say

0:41:36.880 --> 0:41:44.000
<v Speaker 2>this point, we're still living with your mom? Yes, so okay, yeah,

0:41:44.000 --> 0:41:44.960
<v Speaker 2>it was my first car.

0:41:45.160 --> 0:41:48.839
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, so you moved from your mom's house in with him.

0:41:48.880 --> 0:41:49.759
<v Speaker 2>I never lived with him.

0:41:50.040 --> 0:41:52.040
<v Speaker 1>Oh, you guys never lived but you guys did live together.

0:41:52.160 --> 0:41:53.080
<v Speaker 2>No, we never lived together.

0:41:53.120 --> 0:41:55.560
<v Speaker 1>Oh okay, I thought you did live together, not with him.

0:41:55.239 --> 0:41:56.800
<v Speaker 2>But but basically might as well.

0:41:56.960 --> 0:41:59.839
<v Speaker 1>This classy internship provided you your apartment and then you're

0:41:59.880 --> 0:42:00.319
<v Speaker 1>like grown.

0:42:00.800 --> 0:42:06.120
<v Speaker 2>No, this internship was an internship. I didn't get paid. Okay, okay,

0:42:06.320 --> 0:42:06.719
<v Speaker 2>we'll go on.

0:42:06.880 --> 0:42:13.200
<v Speaker 1>Sorry, Okay, anyway, what would you say was how would

0:42:13.239 --> 0:42:14.920
<v Speaker 1>you describe Erica in general?

0:42:20.200 --> 0:42:22.600
<v Speaker 7>Let me see, I mean, the first imperson I had

0:42:22.600 --> 0:42:26.640
<v Speaker 7>of her was obviously sheems super smart, she was creative

0:42:26.640 --> 0:42:30.360
<v Speaker 7>because basically what she did for me when she interned

0:42:30.480 --> 0:42:32.960
<v Speaker 7>was she she used to review treatments. So basically like

0:42:33.120 --> 0:42:34.880
<v Speaker 7>music video treatments would come in that I would have

0:42:34.920 --> 0:42:38.799
<v Speaker 7>to read. I would have Erica kind of like go

0:42:38.880 --> 0:42:42.200
<v Speaker 7>through them and just almost as if she was doing

0:42:42.239 --> 0:42:45.239
<v Speaker 7>like script coverage, like give me, give me the gist

0:42:45.239 --> 0:42:48.440
<v Speaker 7>of what this seems about. Right, So I immediately she

0:42:48.520 --> 0:42:52.680
<v Speaker 7>was super creative just the way she explained things. But

0:42:52.960 --> 0:42:56.880
<v Speaker 7>fast forward to our relationship, So I think Erica is

0:42:56.960 --> 0:43:00.720
<v Speaker 7>one of the most she's one of the most is people.

0:43:00.760 --> 0:43:05.560
<v Speaker 7>I know, Like she's super free. She actually like opened

0:43:05.560 --> 0:43:07.399
<v Speaker 7>me up to so much stuff to and I think

0:43:07.440 --> 0:43:11.160
<v Speaker 7>she's very open minded, you know, like she's super wild

0:43:11.520 --> 0:43:13.600
<v Speaker 7>in my van, you know, super.

0:43:13.320 --> 0:43:17.520
<v Speaker 4>Wildly totally wild.

0:43:17.520 --> 0:43:20.480
<v Speaker 7>I think, look, I was coming from the Midwest, I'm

0:43:20.640 --> 0:43:25.399
<v Speaker 7>I'm a country boy, and to start dating the California girl,

0:43:26.360 --> 0:43:28.960
<v Speaker 7>it was like it was like night and day. So

0:43:29.480 --> 0:43:31.960
<v Speaker 7>like the first thing I thought was like, Okay, she's super.

0:43:31.640 --> 0:43:35.759
<v Speaker 4>Free and she's you know, open minded and.

0:43:35.800 --> 0:43:41.000
<v Speaker 7>Kind of wild. Absolutely, but I don't know, I think.

0:43:40.880 --> 0:43:44.880
<v Speaker 1>Keep talking, but wild in a good way, a wild

0:43:44.960 --> 0:43:49.880
<v Speaker 1>and a bad way did this and and.

0:43:49.120 --> 0:43:53.960
<v Speaker 7>Okay, super like super adventurous, yeah, super adventurous, like she

0:43:54.000 --> 0:43:56.319
<v Speaker 7>would put me on this stuff like, hey, let's do this,

0:43:56.400 --> 0:43:58.400
<v Speaker 7>let's do let's do that stuff I would never do.

0:43:58.560 --> 0:43:59.160
<v Speaker 1>So what do you think?

0:43:59.239 --> 0:44:00.000
<v Speaker 2>What would you think?

0:44:00.080 --> 0:44:02.480
<v Speaker 1>You walked away learning from this real hurt your relationship

0:44:02.520 --> 0:44:05.160
<v Speaker 1>with Erica. With that being said, just how.

0:44:05.040 --> 0:44:07.160
<v Speaker 7>To be how to be free, how to be free,

0:44:07.200 --> 0:44:11.480
<v Speaker 7>how to be open minded, and just not take myself

0:44:11.520 --> 0:44:15.840
<v Speaker 7>too seriously. Right, that was the biggest thing that I

0:44:15.960 --> 0:44:19.600
<v Speaker 7>took away, especially in my my relationships since my past

0:44:19.600 --> 0:44:23.520
<v Speaker 7>relationships after her. Yeah, it was like it was it.

0:44:23.520 --> 0:44:24.359
<v Speaker 7>It was a good look.

0:44:24.600 --> 0:44:25.279
<v Speaker 4>It was a good look.

0:44:26.480 --> 0:44:28.960
<v Speaker 1>What was the best thing about Erica in the relationship

0:44:29.000 --> 0:44:29.960
<v Speaker 1>outside of that?

0:44:32.760 --> 0:44:38.480
<v Speaker 7>She was super uh caring, like it's super thoughtful, and

0:44:38.560 --> 0:44:40.280
<v Speaker 7>she always liked to say, I I was never.

0:44:40.160 --> 0:44:42.600
<v Speaker 4>Romantic, and I agree toil the day I'm not romantic.

0:44:42.640 --> 0:44:46.440
<v Speaker 2>At home, nothing exchanged, and so.

0:44:48.480 --> 0:44:51.560
<v Speaker 7>Erica would do little things like you know, bring me

0:44:51.600 --> 0:44:55.960
<v Speaker 7>home something without asking or like you know, she was

0:44:56.040 --> 0:44:58.400
<v Speaker 7>very like just giving me gifts and just little small

0:44:58.480 --> 0:45:04.400
<v Speaker 7>things like it's so many things, but okay, for example,

0:45:04.520 --> 0:45:05.359
<v Speaker 7>like I look through my.

0:45:05.320 --> 0:45:06.160
<v Speaker 4>Clops the other.

0:45:06.120 --> 0:45:10.720
<v Speaker 7>Day and I remember seeing a board game that Erica bought.

0:45:11.120 --> 0:45:14.000
<v Speaker 7>I think it was like for Valentine's Day. But she

0:45:14.080 --> 0:45:17.120
<v Speaker 7>had botic really cool board game. And I was like, yo,

0:45:17.200 --> 0:45:20.120
<v Speaker 7>that was cool. It could be that young and that thoughtful.

0:45:20.239 --> 0:45:22.160
<v Speaker 2>Wait what kind of was this? The sex board game

0:45:25.520 --> 0:45:26.400
<v Speaker 2>sounds about right, and.

0:45:26.840 --> 0:45:29.719
<v Speaker 7>And I'm and I'm being dramatic with that, but it

0:45:29.760 --> 0:45:30.520
<v Speaker 7>was just it was just.

0:45:30.520 --> 0:45:32.640
<v Speaker 4>A little things like that, you know.

0:45:33.200 --> 0:45:35.040
<v Speaker 2>But you know what, you did nice things for me too.

0:45:35.080 --> 0:45:38.279
<v Speaker 2>I remember you got me. He remember I told you

0:45:38.320 --> 0:45:40.640
<v Speaker 2>that my DJ name was dj E Love And I'm

0:45:40.640 --> 0:45:43.840
<v Speaker 2>telling that I think he did. He got me like

0:45:44.000 --> 0:45:46.440
<v Speaker 2>lessons to be a d I think you did, like

0:45:46.440 --> 0:45:48.880
<v Speaker 2>the Scratch Academy. I think I remember something about the

0:45:48.920 --> 0:45:51.640
<v Speaker 2>Scratch Academy. I he was like trying to, you know,

0:45:51.880 --> 0:45:54.360
<v Speaker 2>encourage my artistic endeavors.

0:45:54.520 --> 0:45:59.319
<v Speaker 1>That's wonderful. That was very nice of you. Would you

0:45:59.360 --> 0:46:04.600
<v Speaker 1>would you say, as are sexually in sync? I think

0:46:04.640 --> 0:46:05.120
<v Speaker 1>at one.

0:46:04.960 --> 0:46:06.839
<v Speaker 4>Point for sure? And absolutely.

0:46:09.800 --> 0:46:12.640
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, just at one point. At one point or

0:46:13.640 --> 0:46:14.440
<v Speaker 2>what point was that?

0:46:14.680 --> 0:46:15.000
<v Speaker 3>I think?

0:46:15.080 --> 0:46:15.399
<v Speaker 4>I think.

0:46:15.760 --> 0:46:19.800
<v Speaker 7>I think, honestly, the relationships are declining. I think the

0:46:19.880 --> 0:46:24.239
<v Speaker 7>two people aren't thinking anymore. So I would say I

0:46:24.280 --> 0:46:25.719
<v Speaker 7>hate to put a number on that. I won't say

0:46:25.960 --> 0:46:29.080
<v Speaker 7>eighty five percent of the relationship with sink because I mean,

0:46:29.120 --> 0:46:31.680
<v Speaker 7>we we spent like every hour together, like we would,

0:46:32.760 --> 0:46:35.439
<v Speaker 7>we would go everywhere together. We would to the point

0:46:35.440 --> 0:46:37.160
<v Speaker 7>where it was like that became the problem. It was

0:46:37.200 --> 0:46:40.160
<v Speaker 7>like we were two up underneath each other all the time.

0:46:40.600 --> 0:46:42.640
<v Speaker 2>So, so what were the problems in the relationship?

0:46:42.680 --> 0:46:45.200
<v Speaker 1>What was what was the like what was a dream

0:46:45.360 --> 0:46:49.640
<v Speaker 1>something drama or like why did it end? What was

0:46:49.760 --> 0:46:51.680
<v Speaker 1>not good about Erica in the relationship?

0:46:53.880 --> 0:46:56.560
<v Speaker 7>Well, I mean I won't say it not good, but

0:46:56.600 --> 0:46:58.680
<v Speaker 7>I would say I think something that at the time

0:46:58.719 --> 0:47:02.400
<v Speaker 7>I was insecure about was her freedom and how open

0:47:02.440 --> 0:47:05.200
<v Speaker 7>minded she was, you know, And I think at times

0:47:05.239 --> 0:47:10.680
<v Speaker 7>I will get jealous and deed controlling because she had friends,

0:47:10.719 --> 0:47:11.840
<v Speaker 7>you know what I mean, She had a bunch of

0:47:11.840 --> 0:47:13.000
<v Speaker 7>she's from she's from her life.

0:47:13.080 --> 0:47:14.360
<v Speaker 4>She had friends, she had a life.

0:47:14.440 --> 0:47:16.840
<v Speaker 7>I mean I had a life too, but she's a home,

0:47:17.000 --> 0:47:20.560
<v Speaker 7>homegrown girl. So I would just be insecure about like, oh,

0:47:20.640 --> 0:47:25.560
<v Speaker 7>she's going out, she's doing this, I would say. And

0:47:25.560 --> 0:47:30.200
<v Speaker 7>it was basically my insecurities, I think what went wrong,

0:47:30.560 --> 0:47:38.080
<v Speaker 7>But it was it was her her just like care free, smart,

0:47:38.239 --> 0:47:40.160
<v Speaker 7>like care free like attitude about everything.

0:47:40.280 --> 0:47:42.960
<v Speaker 2>And basically Matt thought I was always cheating on him,

0:47:43.760 --> 0:47:46.960
<v Speaker 2>and Matt always thought I was cheating on him. I

0:47:47.000 --> 0:47:49.399
<v Speaker 2>had a lot of male friends. Were you cheating on him?

0:47:49.640 --> 0:47:56.080
<v Speaker 2>Did you cheat on him? I flirted heavily. What who

0:47:56.120 --> 0:47:57.920
<v Speaker 2>did I chow? Anyway, I don't know.

0:47:58.160 --> 0:47:58.480
<v Speaker 4>I don't know.

0:47:58.760 --> 0:48:00.680
<v Speaker 2>He's just assuming from ten. Well, let me let me

0:48:00.760 --> 0:48:02.879
<v Speaker 2>just give you some perspective, because when I met Matt,

0:48:02.920 --> 0:48:05.000
<v Speaker 2>I was in a whole relationship. Okay, like when I

0:48:05.040 --> 0:48:07.319
<v Speaker 2>started interning for him, I was with this guy that

0:48:07.360 --> 0:48:09.319
<v Speaker 2>I was in a long distance relationship with this guy

0:48:09.320 --> 0:48:13.960
<v Speaker 2>in New York, and then that nigga was trash and

0:48:14.000 --> 0:48:18.000
<v Speaker 2>Matt was like this, like like creative, Like I called

0:48:18.080 --> 0:48:19.799
<v Speaker 2>him like nerdy the other day. He's like, you think

0:48:19.800 --> 0:48:21.840
<v Speaker 2>I'm a nerd. I'm like no, I mean just more so,

0:48:21.960 --> 0:48:24.680
<v Speaker 2>like he's really into his craft, Like Matt is a

0:48:25.520 --> 0:48:29.000
<v Speaker 2>director and like you know, at the time he wore

0:48:29.120 --> 0:48:34.440
<v Speaker 2>glasses glasses again, like he was just like, I mean,

0:48:34.480 --> 0:48:40.440
<v Speaker 2>he's and he's very good looking. And I I think

0:48:40.840 --> 0:48:43.040
<v Speaker 2>when I got out of so basically I broke up

0:48:43.320 --> 0:48:47.120
<v Speaker 2>with that guy because he was cheating on me. And

0:48:47.120 --> 0:48:49.000
<v Speaker 2>then also I was already into Matt, so it was

0:48:49.000 --> 0:48:52.120
<v Speaker 2>like an easy like bye, and then I immediately started

0:48:52.200 --> 0:48:54.759
<v Speaker 2>dating Matt and so I think because of that, there

0:48:54.800 --> 0:48:57.239
<v Speaker 2>was already a distrust because I could just jump from

0:48:57.280 --> 0:49:00.440
<v Speaker 2>one relationship to the next, Like I literally just jumped

0:49:00.440 --> 0:49:02.799
<v Speaker 2>from one to the next into it with him. And

0:49:02.800 --> 0:49:05.839
<v Speaker 2>so when we would argue, that would come up. Sometimes.

0:49:06.160 --> 0:49:09.000
<v Speaker 2>You know, I had like male friends like Carlton and

0:49:09.200 --> 0:49:14.800
<v Speaker 2>like JT that Matt did not fuck with. And I'll

0:49:14.840 --> 0:49:19.040
<v Speaker 2>never forget this moment. Matt, I'm about to put you

0:49:19.080 --> 0:49:23.200
<v Speaker 2>on blast. I'm sorry, but Matt made me call Carlton.

0:49:24.200 --> 0:49:27.000
<v Speaker 1>Made me call him on speakerphone.

0:49:26.600 --> 0:49:30.800
<v Speaker 2>And yes, and tell him that we could no longer

0:49:30.880 --> 0:49:34.400
<v Speaker 2>be friends. Oh my god. And if you know Carlton.

0:49:34.600 --> 0:49:35.879
<v Speaker 1>He was like, what if you.

0:49:35.880 --> 0:49:38.520
<v Speaker 2>Know Carlton, Because Carlston's still one of my best friends.

0:49:39.200 --> 0:49:42.720
<v Speaker 2>Me and Carlton have never had a sexual relationship at all,

0:49:43.160 --> 0:49:46.040
<v Speaker 2>Like he is not I love that man so much,

0:49:46.080 --> 0:49:49.320
<v Speaker 2>but he's not for me in that way. But Matt

0:49:49.360 --> 0:49:52.440
<v Speaker 2>wasn't fucking with that. He didn't give a fuck. And

0:49:52.520 --> 0:49:54.840
<v Speaker 2>so I'll never forget I had to call Carlton and

0:49:54.880 --> 0:49:56.920
<v Speaker 2>be like and I just remember crying. I was like,

0:49:57.000 --> 0:49:59.879
<v Speaker 2>I'm sorry, I just can't be.

0:50:03.680 --> 0:50:06.920
<v Speaker 7>Oh, yeah, I'm sorry for that. I mean, and that

0:50:07.000 --> 0:50:08.480
<v Speaker 7>and that goes back to what I was saying is

0:50:08.560 --> 0:50:11.520
<v Speaker 7>like I was just so insecure time because I mean,

0:50:11.600 --> 0:50:14.799
<v Speaker 7>Erica was my first adult relationship, so I didn't know

0:50:14.800 --> 0:50:16.239
<v Speaker 7>how to you know, I didn't know what I was doing,

0:50:16.560 --> 0:50:18.279
<v Speaker 7>you know, but.

0:50:18.360 --> 0:50:19.400
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, go ahead, it comes on.

0:50:19.520 --> 0:50:24.440
<v Speaker 1>What would you say is Erica's worst trait, her worst

0:50:24.440 --> 0:50:27.520
<v Speaker 1>one trait, her worst treat trade?

0:50:32.120 --> 0:50:35.560
<v Speaker 7>Honestly, I'm I'm I have no I couldn't tell you.

0:50:35.600 --> 0:50:36.279
<v Speaker 7>I don't I don't know.

0:50:36.360 --> 0:50:38.040
<v Speaker 4>I don't think she has a worst treat.

0:50:38.600 --> 0:50:42.360
<v Speaker 7>I think collectively there's things that you might not, you know,

0:50:43.000 --> 0:50:45.000
<v Speaker 7>I like about somebody, like what I was saying earlier

0:50:45.000 --> 0:50:48.120
<v Speaker 7>about Oh, I just she was like sometimes too free,

0:50:48.280 --> 0:50:51.440
<v Speaker 7>you know, and I think, yeah, I guess that sometimes

0:50:51.480 --> 0:50:53.280
<v Speaker 7>it's free exactly, that's.

0:50:53.160 --> 0:50:54.640
<v Speaker 1>What it is.

0:50:55.040 --> 0:50:57.840
<v Speaker 7>I don't know if she's like that anymore.

0:50:58.160 --> 0:51:00.880
<v Speaker 2>So like when you say two free, like too friendly,

0:51:01.160 --> 0:51:04.920
<v Speaker 2>like too too many male friends, Yeah.

0:51:04.760 --> 0:51:06.240
<v Speaker 4>I mean too olden minded even.

0:51:06.160 --> 0:51:07.680
<v Speaker 1>Just like too open minded.

0:51:08.840 --> 0:51:11.600
<v Speaker 7>I mean to me, I think you would explore at

0:51:11.640 --> 0:51:14.320
<v Speaker 7>the time you explored it, like you would do anything.

0:51:14.360 --> 0:51:15.319
<v Speaker 4>I'm sure like you would do.

0:51:16.880 --> 0:51:20.240
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, I don't know what's anything just very

0:51:21.360 --> 0:51:25.080
<v Speaker 2>say what what's anything with crack.

0:51:25.600 --> 0:51:31.040
<v Speaker 7>I'm just saying, like as far as like drugs, alcohol.

0:51:31.960 --> 0:51:36.239
<v Speaker 1>Drugs, alcohol, you know, you'll do anything, Okay, Okay, So

0:51:36.280 --> 0:51:37.080
<v Speaker 1>she's she's.

0:51:37.040 --> 0:51:39.440
<v Speaker 7>I mean at the time, at the time, she was

0:51:39.520 --> 0:51:42.319
<v Speaker 7>very experimental, which that's part of what I loved about

0:51:42.320 --> 0:51:44.719
<v Speaker 7>her too, Like for to day, like if I think

0:51:44.719 --> 0:51:50.000
<v Speaker 7>it's very addicted, I'm like super experimental, Like is that

0:51:50.120 --> 0:51:52.920
<v Speaker 7>she's dope for that? She inspired me to like just

0:51:53.239 --> 0:51:54.160
<v Speaker 7>break out of my shoel.

0:51:54.320 --> 0:51:54.480
<v Speaker 4>You know.

0:51:54.520 --> 0:51:56.880
<v Speaker 7>Once she told me, she was like, she's like, you

0:51:56.920 --> 0:51:58.440
<v Speaker 7>know what, I think we were arguing. She's like, you

0:51:58.480 --> 0:52:00.719
<v Speaker 7>know what I opened, I opened you.

0:52:00.760 --> 0:52:03.760
<v Speaker 4>Up like a little clam, like you're just so uptight

0:52:03.960 --> 0:52:04.279
<v Speaker 4>you like.

0:52:04.320 --> 0:52:05.719
<v Speaker 7>To fill up tight and close up.

0:52:05.760 --> 0:52:06.600
<v Speaker 3>And I'm like, damn.

0:52:06.880 --> 0:52:09.759
<v Speaker 2>And she was hit her.

0:52:09.960 --> 0:52:10.640
<v Speaker 1>It hurt.

0:52:11.840 --> 0:52:13.919
<v Speaker 2>Did you What did your parents or your family think

0:52:13.920 --> 0:52:14.640
<v Speaker 2>about Erica?

0:52:18.640 --> 0:52:20.600
<v Speaker 7>My mom? She was my mom and my sister.

0:52:20.680 --> 0:52:21.839
<v Speaker 4>They loved Dereka way.

0:52:21.960 --> 0:52:23.520
<v Speaker 2>Your sister did not like.

0:52:23.560 --> 0:52:27.239
<v Speaker 4>Me before, I mean, before we started.

0:52:27.160 --> 0:52:32.200
<v Speaker 2>Your sister threatened to kill me. I was scared of

0:52:32.280 --> 0:52:34.640
<v Speaker 2>your sister for months. I thought she was gonna come

0:52:34.680 --> 0:52:37.200
<v Speaker 2>for me from the Midwest. Yes, bitch, I thought his

0:52:37.280 --> 0:52:40.080
<v Speaker 2>sister was going to track me down and like, beat

0:52:40.120 --> 0:52:44.359
<v Speaker 2>my you're older or younger, sister older, she's older, she's

0:52:44.400 --> 0:52:44.880
<v Speaker 2>super rat.

0:52:45.120 --> 0:52:52.640
<v Speaker 7>But now my mom, my mom loved love Eric. I

0:52:52.640 --> 0:52:55.840
<v Speaker 7>mean even until, like I think a year after we

0:52:55.960 --> 0:52:58.040
<v Speaker 7>broke my mom was still acting, Hey, did you talk

0:52:58.080 --> 0:53:00.759
<v Speaker 7>to Erica? You know y'all did get back together. I'm like,

0:53:00.800 --> 0:53:04.600
<v Speaker 7>I haven't spoken nurses broke up, so originally she stopped asking,

0:53:04.760 --> 0:53:06.360
<v Speaker 7>But yeah, mom, Mom.

0:53:06.280 --> 0:53:06.759
<v Speaker 4>Definitely love.

0:53:07.120 --> 0:53:08.280
<v Speaker 2>Would you say that.

0:53:09.320 --> 0:53:10.040
<v Speaker 4>My dad right here?

0:53:10.800 --> 0:53:12.000
<v Speaker 2>No, I never met your dad.

0:53:13.520 --> 0:53:16.840
<v Speaker 1>Would you say that Erica is equally like or not

0:53:16.880 --> 0:53:19.720
<v Speaker 1>equally or is possessive too and like a little jealous

0:53:19.719 --> 0:53:21.919
<v Speaker 1>and crazy and possessive with her scorpio news?

0:53:24.760 --> 0:53:27.560
<v Speaker 7>None, that never came across. It's crazy. When we were

0:53:27.600 --> 0:53:32.480
<v Speaker 7>talking the other day, she was saying, she's she's more

0:53:32.600 --> 0:53:34.240
<v Speaker 7>like that now or her past relations.

0:53:34.400 --> 0:53:36.800
<v Speaker 4>She was like that, she was not like that, you know,

0:53:37.480 --> 0:53:38.600
<v Speaker 4>so I can't say at all.

0:53:39.160 --> 0:53:40.320
<v Speaker 7>That she was possessively.

0:53:41.080 --> 0:53:41.239
<v Speaker 3>Now.

0:53:42.160 --> 0:53:43.640
<v Speaker 2>Were you guys sexually in sync?

0:53:46.360 --> 0:53:46.840
<v Speaker 7>Absolutely?

0:53:48.719 --> 0:53:51.359
<v Speaker 4>You know, obviously have man you know totally Matt.

0:53:52.160 --> 0:53:54.480
<v Speaker 2>Matt was the first person to ever make me squirt.

0:53:55.040 --> 0:53:57.000
<v Speaker 2>Oh okay, well that's impressive.

0:53:57.120 --> 0:53:57.319
<v Speaker 3>Matt.

0:53:57.719 --> 0:53:59.040
<v Speaker 1>Are you the are you the guy? Are you the

0:53:59.080 --> 0:53:59.840
<v Speaker 1>go to guy for that?

0:54:00.640 --> 0:54:02.960
<v Speaker 2>Are you the squirting guy? Like, if you've never squired,

0:54:03.000 --> 0:54:05.840
<v Speaker 2>go to math? He will open you up like a clam.

0:54:07.400 --> 0:54:09.400
<v Speaker 1>Is that how you open pitches up like a clam?

0:54:09.560 --> 0:54:09.719
<v Speaker 3>Huh?

0:54:12.040 --> 0:54:13.959
<v Speaker 2>I guess, I guess I have Have you met anyone

0:54:14.040 --> 0:54:14.600
<v Speaker 2>squirt since?

0:54:14.640 --> 0:54:16.120
<v Speaker 3>Then? Have you?

0:54:16.560 --> 0:54:16.920
<v Speaker 7>Have you met?

0:54:18.040 --> 0:54:18.879
<v Speaker 2>So you are the guy?

0:54:20.600 --> 0:54:23.520
<v Speaker 4>I think? I don't know.

0:54:25.239 --> 0:54:26.480
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, I don't know.

0:54:26.520 --> 0:54:28.839
<v Speaker 1>I'm trying to figure it out myself. But now I'm

0:54:28.880 --> 0:54:31.040
<v Speaker 1>thinking maybe it's the mends that need. We need to

0:54:31.080 --> 0:54:32.239
<v Speaker 1>figure it out who it is. I feel like you

0:54:32.280 --> 0:54:33.880
<v Speaker 1>could make some money off of this. I will make

0:54:33.960 --> 0:54:34.400
<v Speaker 1>you square.

0:54:36.800 --> 0:54:37.520
<v Speaker 3>Was she was?

0:54:37.600 --> 0:54:38.959
<v Speaker 2>She the best sex of your life?

0:54:41.640 --> 0:54:44.880
<v Speaker 4>Uh? You know what. I'm recently out of a relationship.

0:54:44.520 --> 0:54:49.080
<v Speaker 1>So I could say, yes, oh okay, you really.

0:54:50.760 --> 0:54:51.200
<v Speaker 4>I'll tell you.

0:54:51.320 --> 0:54:55.360
<v Speaker 7>You know something that fucked me up one time? Was

0:54:56.120 --> 0:54:58.880
<v Speaker 7>And it's just how I always know how to cage

0:54:58.920 --> 0:55:02.920
<v Speaker 7>with the relationship. Was pretty much like on into an athlete.

0:55:04.320 --> 0:55:07.759
<v Speaker 7>I think the last two months of Eric and.

0:55:07.760 --> 0:55:09.279
<v Speaker 4>I being together, we didn't have sex.

0:55:09.400 --> 0:55:12.040
<v Speaker 7>And she said something one time like when we I mean,

0:55:12.120 --> 0:55:15.080
<v Speaker 7>I think we were pretty much days from breaking up.

0:55:15.120 --> 0:55:17.480
<v Speaker 7>She was like, I don't even want to have sex

0:55:17.560 --> 0:55:19.440
<v Speaker 7>with anymore, right, I'm.

0:55:19.320 --> 0:55:19.920
<v Speaker 4>Like, damn.

0:55:20.880 --> 0:55:24.440
<v Speaker 7>And that always struck me because in differently, you know,

0:55:24.560 --> 0:55:28.440
<v Speaker 7>when I went into relationship after that, or the relationship

0:55:28.640 --> 0:55:32.440
<v Speaker 7>ended with me, that was a common thing. It was like, yo,

0:55:33.560 --> 0:55:35.920
<v Speaker 7>but the woman don't even want to fucking nomore because

0:55:35.920 --> 0:55:39.440
<v Speaker 7>she's just not inter and that It's so true. But

0:55:39.600 --> 0:55:42.840
<v Speaker 7>I remember that was a that was towards like the

0:55:42.920 --> 0:55:44.880
<v Speaker 7>last two months to Eric. But other than that, it

0:55:44.960 --> 0:55:45.279
<v Speaker 7>was great.

0:55:45.400 --> 0:55:48.280
<v Speaker 2>I will say me and Matt had a very strong

0:55:48.440 --> 0:55:52.719
<v Speaker 2>sexual relationship, like almost to the point that I think

0:55:52.800 --> 0:55:54.960
<v Speaker 2>a lot of the like holding on to some of

0:55:55.040 --> 0:56:00.120
<v Speaker 2>the relationship was based in sex, you know, like we

0:56:01.080 --> 0:56:03.279
<v Speaker 2>you know, I don't. Me and him were the in

0:56:03.360 --> 0:56:08.120
<v Speaker 2>the type of relationship where like we could spend twenty

0:56:08.239 --> 0:56:12.920
<v Speaker 2>days together not leave a room and it feel like

0:56:13.440 --> 0:56:16.120
<v Speaker 2>five maybe five days have passed and like and that

0:56:16.320 --> 0:56:22.120
<v Speaker 2>was very unhealthy because I got nothing done. And then

0:56:22.200 --> 0:56:24.239
<v Speaker 2>we just were so up under each other that when

0:56:24.239 --> 0:56:27.400
<v Speaker 2>we were apart from each other, I think maybe like

0:56:27.560 --> 0:56:31.480
<v Speaker 2>we didn't know how to be, you know, it was

0:56:31.600 --> 0:56:33.239
<v Speaker 2>like either it was all or nothing. And I think

0:56:33.280 --> 0:56:35.600
<v Speaker 2>that I am q I am still quite like that,

0:56:36.000 --> 0:56:37.480
<v Speaker 2>which is why I need to not be in a

0:56:37.520 --> 0:56:39.720
<v Speaker 2>relationship because I don't really know how to have boundaries

0:56:39.760 --> 0:56:43.759
<v Speaker 2>in that way still, But that was the first relationship

0:56:43.800 --> 0:56:45.640
<v Speaker 2>that I was ever in that was like it was

0:56:45.960 --> 0:56:53.320
<v Speaker 2>very intense emotionally and sexually. Why why what was like

0:56:53.400 --> 0:56:56.399
<v Speaker 2>the last straw? Why did the relationship end after three

0:56:56.600 --> 0:56:58.920
<v Speaker 2>four eight three years? After three years? What was the

0:56:59.080 --> 0:57:03.399
<v Speaker 2>like final uh huh, Matt.

0:57:05.000 --> 0:57:07.160
<v Speaker 7>I don't know. I don't know if I remember exactly what,

0:57:07.960 --> 0:57:10.839
<v Speaker 7>but it probably had something to do with me trying

0:57:10.880 --> 0:57:13.120
<v Speaker 7>to be controlled, you know, and she was just like, man,

0:57:13.200 --> 0:57:16.040
<v Speaker 7>fuck you. I mean she she did it so effortlessly,

0:57:16.240 --> 0:57:18.120
<v Speaker 7>you know, Like it wasn't like I think if we

0:57:18.200 --> 0:57:20.320
<v Speaker 7>broke up some times, but it was nothing we ever

0:57:20.360 --> 0:57:20.800
<v Speaker 7>broke up.

0:57:20.760 --> 0:57:21.680
<v Speaker 4>More than like what we could two.

0:57:22.520 --> 0:57:27.640
<v Speaker 7>And it was always tough for her to like communicate

0:57:27.680 --> 0:57:31.360
<v Speaker 7>that to me and me and vice versa. But the

0:57:31.800 --> 0:57:34.920
<v Speaker 7>last time she did it, it was just like I

0:57:35.040 --> 0:57:36.200
<v Speaker 7>knew she had made up her mind.

0:57:36.280 --> 0:57:40.400
<v Speaker 4>She's like, I'm done, you know. But I remember exactly

0:57:40.400 --> 0:57:43.120
<v Speaker 4>what the action situation on that.

0:57:43.240 --> 0:57:46.120
<v Speaker 2>I don't do you remember I remember where I was

0:57:46.520 --> 0:57:48.720
<v Speaker 2>when it happened. I was at the park with Shaka,

0:57:49.240 --> 0:57:51.280
<v Speaker 2>and I was like sitting there at the park, and

0:57:51.360 --> 0:57:53.360
<v Speaker 2>I was like, I just can't, we can't do this

0:57:53.440 --> 0:57:57.000
<v Speaker 2>anymore because we were literally we had the most epic fights,

0:57:57.640 --> 0:57:59.960
<v Speaker 2>Like I've never fought with someone the way I thought

0:58:00.080 --> 0:58:04.320
<v Speaker 2>with Matt. Like I'm talking about like like five hour fights,

0:58:04.840 --> 0:58:08.600
<v Speaker 2>Like we had to take naps in between to like

0:58:08.680 --> 0:58:10.920
<v Speaker 2>continue the fight. I don't know how we could have

0:58:11.040 --> 0:58:15.960
<v Speaker 2>argued that long, like lock like lock each other in

0:58:16.160 --> 0:58:19.320
<v Speaker 2>rooms like it got it got physical at times, it

0:58:19.440 --> 0:58:20.960
<v Speaker 2>got really intense.

0:58:21.120 --> 0:58:22.680
<v Speaker 1>Didn't you break something of his? You told me like

0:58:22.720 --> 0:58:24.040
<v Speaker 1>something important? Oh?

0:58:24.120 --> 0:58:24.800
<v Speaker 3>I threw some.

0:58:25.160 --> 0:58:29.640
<v Speaker 2>I threw just I threw some like he's a director,

0:58:29.760 --> 0:58:32.640
<v Speaker 2>oh oh oh yeah, some film and filmed this project.

0:58:32.720 --> 0:58:34.920
<v Speaker 2>And he had the tapes at my house and I

0:58:34.960 --> 0:58:37.600
<v Speaker 2>got mad and I threw them and he wreaked out.

0:58:37.720 --> 0:58:43.080
<v Speaker 4>She told Flipped, I think that broke the bathroom, right,

0:58:43.280 --> 0:58:43.800
<v Speaker 4>you broke you.

0:58:43.840 --> 0:58:45.520
<v Speaker 2>Broke a few things in my house. You broke the

0:58:45.560 --> 0:58:50.120
<v Speaker 2>bathroom door, you broke my purse. There was definitely a

0:58:50.200 --> 0:58:53.800
<v Speaker 2>lot of things that were broken. Matt's anger. He's a virgo.

0:58:55.040 --> 0:58:56.280
<v Speaker 2>So it was the girl we just got off the phone.

0:58:56.480 --> 0:59:00.640
<v Speaker 1>Really mm hmmm. So that's a lot, you know, and

0:59:01.080 --> 0:59:01.560
<v Speaker 1>he likes.

0:59:01.480 --> 0:59:05.560
<v Speaker 2>The things that he likes a certain way, and I

0:59:05.640 --> 0:59:10.200
<v Speaker 2>don't know there were Oh my god, there's this story

0:59:10.280 --> 0:59:13.560
<v Speaker 2>that I shared on the podcast that actually is about Matt,

0:59:13.680 --> 0:59:14.120
<v Speaker 2>but it's.

0:59:14.200 --> 0:59:19.560
<v Speaker 1>He I don't Oh god, no, let's just leave that there. Wait.

0:59:19.720 --> 0:59:21.280
<v Speaker 2>No, I want him to know. I wanted to know

0:59:21.400 --> 0:59:23.800
<v Speaker 2>the story because Matt, do you remember when we went

0:59:23.840 --> 0:59:25.880
<v Speaker 2>to the like we were not together, we'd broken up

0:59:25.880 --> 0:59:29.800
<v Speaker 2>in the summer, and we went to a ditty party. Like,

0:59:29.880 --> 0:59:31.680
<v Speaker 2>I went to a ditty party and I saw you there.

0:59:31.720 --> 0:59:33.760
<v Speaker 2>It was a white party. It was a white ditty party.

0:59:34.040 --> 0:59:36.720
<v Speaker 4>Oh right, right, you were with your girl.

0:59:38.160 --> 0:59:41.520
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. I saw him there, and I was like, oh fuck,

0:59:41.640 --> 0:59:43.680
<v Speaker 2>oh my god. Like I hadn't seen him, you know,

0:59:44.000 --> 0:59:46.600
<v Speaker 2>maybe in like a month or two. I saw him

0:59:46.640 --> 0:59:48.520
<v Speaker 2>there and like we didn't even talk.

0:59:48.680 --> 0:59:49.480
<v Speaker 3>Did we talk? No?

0:59:52.280 --> 0:59:53.960
<v Speaker 2>No, no, we didn't talk.

0:59:54.080 --> 0:59:54.200
<v Speaker 9>Right.

0:59:54.480 --> 0:59:57.600
<v Speaker 2>I go back home and at the time, like I

0:59:57.800 --> 1:00:00.400
<v Speaker 2>was kind of messing around with this other guy who

1:00:00.520 --> 1:00:03.760
<v Speaker 2>had come over, Matt showed up at my door, knocking

1:00:03.960 --> 1:00:06.360
<v Speaker 2>on my door. You didn't call first, No, he just

1:00:06.520 --> 1:00:11.760
<v Speaker 2>showed up at like four am, five am, and I

1:00:11.840 --> 1:00:14.800
<v Speaker 2>had the guy in my bed, and I felt I

1:00:14.920 --> 1:00:17.000
<v Speaker 2>still loved Matt, and I didn't want to hurt his feelings.

1:00:17.080 --> 1:00:18.960
<v Speaker 2>And also I just felt guilty. And also I was

1:00:19.000 --> 1:00:20.960
<v Speaker 2>scared because I didn't know how Matt was gonna react,

1:00:21.000 --> 1:00:24.440
<v Speaker 2>because the Matt is reactive, and so the niggad jumped

1:00:24.440 --> 1:00:26.880
<v Speaker 2>off the balcony. Oh yeah, I do remember this story.

1:00:27.120 --> 1:00:27.320
<v Speaker 7>I do?

1:00:28.720 --> 1:00:31.560
<v Speaker 4>And yeah, I always wondered about that.

1:00:31.840 --> 1:00:33.600
<v Speaker 2>Do you remember that? Because you were like, I know

1:00:33.800 --> 1:00:34.600
<v Speaker 2>someone's in there?

1:00:34.720 --> 1:00:38.240
<v Speaker 3>He kept banging and saying yeah, because you would you

1:00:38.240 --> 1:00:39.440
<v Speaker 3>would normally open.

1:00:39.320 --> 1:00:41.680
<v Speaker 4>The door, like you know, and you aren't.

1:00:42.040 --> 1:00:44.640
<v Speaker 7>I knew you were all, but yeah I.

1:00:47.360 --> 1:00:47.440
<v Speaker 3>Did.

1:00:47.960 --> 1:00:51.240
<v Speaker 2>I mean yeah, I mean we young, young, dumb love

1:00:51.440 --> 1:00:53.439
<v Speaker 2>we could all makes you do some crazy shit.

1:00:53.520 --> 1:00:54.000
<v Speaker 3>Oh god.

1:00:55.200 --> 1:00:59.320
<v Speaker 2>Okay, So my last question Matt is why do you

1:00:59.440 --> 1:01:00.400
<v Speaker 2>date Eric again?

1:01:03.480 --> 1:01:05.640
<v Speaker 7>As much as I would love to, I just don't think.

1:01:06.720 --> 1:01:11.800
<v Speaker 7>I just don't think it would be healthy. I enjoyed

1:01:12.000 --> 1:01:14.880
<v Speaker 7>and and I think I told this last week, or

1:01:14.920 --> 1:01:15.600
<v Speaker 7>maybe I didn't, but.

1:01:15.640 --> 1:01:19.120
<v Speaker 4>I enjoy just being able to talk to her like

1:01:19.240 --> 1:01:23.080
<v Speaker 4>this and and it be so pure and there's no agenda.

1:01:23.240 --> 1:01:26.200
<v Speaker 4>It's like she's more more.

1:01:26.120 --> 1:01:28.200
<v Speaker 7>Precious to me as a friend now than a lover,

1:01:28.760 --> 1:01:33.320
<v Speaker 7>you know, And part of like just just I'm not gonna.

1:01:33.200 --> 1:01:33.720
<v Speaker 4>Talk, you know.

1:01:33.920 --> 1:01:36.760
<v Speaker 7>But part of why I reached out to Eric after

1:01:36.840 --> 1:01:41.120
<v Speaker 7>ten years was because I had a relationship that I

1:01:41.280 --> 1:01:45.320
<v Speaker 7>just ended and then we were together, if I'm want

1:01:45.360 --> 1:01:48.520
<v Speaker 7>to say four years almost fine. And there was certain

1:01:48.800 --> 1:01:52.920
<v Speaker 7>you know, parallels that things that I did wrong with

1:01:53.200 --> 1:01:53.600
<v Speaker 7>Erica that.

1:01:53.640 --> 1:01:57.200
<v Speaker 4>I did along with my current days girlfriend.

1:01:57.760 --> 1:02:02.600
<v Speaker 7>Right, So part of me needed Erica as a form

1:02:02.680 --> 1:02:05.720
<v Speaker 7>of number one. We never had full closure number two

1:02:06.320 --> 1:02:08.200
<v Speaker 7>as a form of life. Just arab be like, Yo,

1:02:09.520 --> 1:02:10.440
<v Speaker 7>I'm remorseful for.

1:02:10.520 --> 1:02:11.160
<v Speaker 4>Things I've done.

1:02:11.360 --> 1:02:16.600
<v Speaker 7>I'm sorry, and I want to learn about myself, you

1:02:16.680 --> 1:02:19.080
<v Speaker 7>know what I mean. Because there's ship that I fucked

1:02:19.160 --> 1:02:20.680
<v Speaker 7>up in this current relationship.

1:02:20.960 --> 1:02:21.600
<v Speaker 4>That's why I'm.

1:02:21.480 --> 1:02:24.080
<v Speaker 7>Singling it, you know what I mean. So it had

1:02:24.120 --> 1:02:27.680
<v Speaker 7>a lot to do with that, and I think having

1:02:27.760 --> 1:02:31.920
<v Speaker 7>someone like Erica, specifically Erica, I think that's just that's

1:02:32.040 --> 1:02:34.800
<v Speaker 7>more precious thing, you know, fucking it up again, you know,

1:02:35.400 --> 1:02:37.400
<v Speaker 7>not that I was fucking up, but you know, I

1:02:37.520 --> 1:02:38.960
<v Speaker 7>just I don't even really.

1:02:38.800 --> 1:02:39.680
<v Speaker 4>Want to take that risk.

1:02:40.320 --> 1:02:42.680
<v Speaker 1>Well, well that's a big of you to to see

1:02:42.920 --> 1:02:46.200
<v Speaker 1>you know, your patterns and to take responsibility and say, hey,

1:02:46.440 --> 1:02:48.480
<v Speaker 1>maybe it's time for me to go within and see

1:02:48.480 --> 1:02:50.720
<v Speaker 1>why am I reactive like this, Why do I Why

1:02:50.800 --> 1:02:52.400
<v Speaker 1>have I done this to two people that I love?

1:02:52.480 --> 1:02:54.880
<v Speaker 1>You know, not a lot of men are able to

1:02:55.080 --> 1:02:57.920
<v Speaker 1>examine themselves that way and make change and you know,

1:02:58.960 --> 1:03:02.360
<v Speaker 1>amend people you've hurt in you know, even ten years ago.

1:03:02.600 --> 1:03:03.680
<v Speaker 1>So that's good.

1:03:03.880 --> 1:03:06.640
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And to be honest, I feel like me and

1:03:06.760 --> 1:03:09.640
<v Speaker 2>Matt like we have had this huge break, this long break,

1:03:10.960 --> 1:03:13.560
<v Speaker 2>because I think we needed it. I mean, our relationship ended,

1:03:13.720 --> 1:03:16.920
<v Speaker 2>like I don't know, we had such an volatile, loving,

1:03:17.000 --> 1:03:21.040
<v Speaker 2>but volatile relationship that I feel like that time, that

1:03:21.280 --> 1:03:23.240
<v Speaker 2>that time apart, like we wouldn't have been able to

1:03:23.280 --> 1:03:29.959
<v Speaker 2>have this conversation like five years ago, you know, Like, yeah,

1:03:30.360 --> 1:03:34.760
<v Speaker 2>So I appreciate you. Thank you for you know, opening

1:03:34.880 --> 1:03:38.720
<v Speaker 2>up and participating on Good Mom's Bad Choices podcast. Thank you,

1:03:40.200 --> 1:03:45.560
<v Speaker 2>thanks for having appreciate it. Don't listen. Don't listen to

1:03:45.640 --> 1:03:49.280
<v Speaker 2>any of my episodes, thank you. I think he kind

1:03:49.280 --> 1:03:51.480
<v Speaker 2>of nass I think you should listen to some episode.

1:03:51.560 --> 1:03:51.720
<v Speaker 3>Why.

1:03:52.160 --> 1:03:53.520
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. I just think he's in a place

1:03:53.560 --> 1:03:55.680
<v Speaker 1>in his life that he would benefit from listening to

1:03:55.760 --> 1:03:56.400
<v Speaker 1>the episodes.

1:03:56.480 --> 1:04:00.240
<v Speaker 2>Well, if you want to send over some suggestion just

1:04:00.280 --> 1:04:02.280
<v Speaker 2>from a just from Women's perspective.

1:04:02.400 --> 1:04:04.000
<v Speaker 1>I think this might be a good time for you

1:04:04.120 --> 1:04:07.800
<v Speaker 1>to just open up and say, you know, sit back

1:04:07.840 --> 1:04:08.280
<v Speaker 1>and listen.

1:04:08.840 --> 1:04:10.360
<v Speaker 2>Eric is looking at me like, what the fuck are

1:04:10.400 --> 1:04:13.040
<v Speaker 2>you talking about? Well, you guys are not getting back together.

1:04:13.200 --> 1:04:15.240
<v Speaker 2>He already thinks you're so free, so you might as

1:04:15.280 --> 1:04:18.400
<v Speaker 2>well just let him benefit. He'll get confirmation about Yeah,

1:04:18.440 --> 1:04:18.760
<v Speaker 2>he will.

1:04:19.280 --> 1:04:22.760
<v Speaker 1>He may need to be free too. I'm clearly, I'm

1:04:22.800 --> 1:04:27.600
<v Speaker 1>clearly her friend. Open up like a clam.

1:04:30.320 --> 1:04:32.960
<v Speaker 7>And I started looking through some stuff, and I definitely

1:04:33.800 --> 1:04:37.720
<v Speaker 7>I'm going to continue to listen to absolutely starts.

1:04:38.400 --> 1:04:44.360
<v Speaker 2>Well, thanks, no pressure, thank you, all right, Well, I'll

1:04:44.400 --> 1:04:44.960
<v Speaker 2>call you later.

1:04:45.480 --> 1:04:52.320
<v Speaker 1>Bye, Matt sounds good, Thank you bye. How do you feel?

1:04:52.880 --> 1:04:53.440
<v Speaker 1>Are you sweating?

1:04:54.200 --> 1:04:54.640
<v Speaker 4>I don't know.

1:04:55.400 --> 1:04:57.840
<v Speaker 2>And I'm really mad that you fucking encouraged him to

1:04:58.160 --> 1:05:00.560
<v Speaker 2>listen to all my all the ship, but I talk.

1:05:00.640 --> 1:05:02.200
<v Speaker 2>I'm just happy he's the one who was knocking on

1:05:02.280 --> 1:05:02.520
<v Speaker 2>the door.

1:05:02.680 --> 1:05:04.480
<v Speaker 1>I didn't know who he was, and I don't know

1:05:04.480 --> 1:05:06.360
<v Speaker 1>if he's gonna be offended now that he knows that

1:05:06.440 --> 1:05:08.280
<v Speaker 1>you were just hot off some other dick.

1:05:08.760 --> 1:05:10.320
<v Speaker 2>Why were I know you were like trying to get

1:05:10.360 --> 1:05:11.200
<v Speaker 2>me not to tell him?

1:05:11.200 --> 1:05:11.920
<v Speaker 1>I don't know why?

1:05:12.000 --> 1:05:13.400
<v Speaker 2>Why do you care what he's feeling so much.

1:05:13.560 --> 1:05:13.960
<v Speaker 1>I don't know.

1:05:14.120 --> 1:05:17.080
<v Speaker 2>He seems so sensitive. I mean he is, but I

1:05:17.120 --> 1:05:19.200
<v Speaker 2>think I think it's I don't know, it's God that

1:05:19.320 --> 1:05:21.960
<v Speaker 2>we can laugh about it. He wasn't my nigga at

1:05:22.000 --> 1:05:25.760
<v Speaker 2>the time, like point blank. But I just feel like,

1:05:26.480 --> 1:05:29.560
<v Speaker 2>I don't know. It's interesting to hear that perspective because.

1:05:32.040 --> 1:05:32.360
<v Speaker 4>I don't know.

1:05:32.400 --> 1:05:35.120
<v Speaker 2>I think my last in my like my last relationship,

1:05:35.960 --> 1:05:38.280
<v Speaker 2>he would say that I'm free, but also I'm not.

1:05:38.880 --> 1:05:42.280
<v Speaker 2>Like he would say that, like you're not. Yeah, like

1:05:42.920 --> 1:05:45.439
<v Speaker 2>who are you? My real my like my last act

1:05:45.480 --> 1:05:48.080
<v Speaker 2>on my realie, my last ax, my baby dad. Oh okay, yeah,

1:05:52.080 --> 1:05:52.920
<v Speaker 2>this is so funny.

1:05:53.000 --> 1:05:56.080
<v Speaker 1>This is like a real like walk down memory lane.

1:05:56.480 --> 1:05:59.200
<v Speaker 2>I also think that it's interesting to hear that perspective too,

1:05:59.280 --> 1:06:02.480
<v Speaker 2>because I think that ending that relationship or that relationship

1:06:02.640 --> 1:06:05.080
<v Speaker 2>left me feeling like it took away a little bit

1:06:05.160 --> 1:06:07.200
<v Speaker 2>of my freedom. It made me feel like, am I

1:06:07.320 --> 1:06:10.080
<v Speaker 2>too free? I started questioning myself and I feel like

1:06:10.840 --> 1:06:14.920
<v Speaker 2>now I'm as a single person. That's actually I've been

1:06:15.040 --> 1:06:17.320
<v Speaker 2>single for almost it's gonna be three years this year,

1:06:18.760 --> 1:06:21.120
<v Speaker 2>Like I've had a lot of time to reflect on that,

1:06:21.440 --> 1:06:23.840
<v Speaker 2>and like I'm trying to regain that back.

1:06:24.000 --> 1:06:26.320
<v Speaker 1>So you think he robbed that of you a little

1:06:26.360 --> 1:06:29.160
<v Speaker 1>bit your twenty kind of after that, you I have

1:06:29.320 --> 1:06:31.880
<v Speaker 1>you led with like maybe I am too free because yeah, well,

1:06:32.080 --> 1:06:34.080
<v Speaker 1>I mean, verbal abuse is real.

1:06:34.200 --> 1:06:36.120
<v Speaker 2>And then and then I also got into a relationship

1:06:36.120 --> 1:06:38.120
<v Speaker 2>where I could be really free, and I was like,

1:06:38.480 --> 1:06:40.200
<v Speaker 2>now I'm too free. I was so used to like

1:06:40.400 --> 1:06:43.080
<v Speaker 2>the other you know, I don't know. I don't want

1:06:43.120 --> 1:06:44.160
<v Speaker 2>to say he robbed me.

1:06:44.280 --> 1:06:46.880
<v Speaker 1>I allowed it, you know right right, well, we will

1:06:46.880 --> 1:06:48.919
<v Speaker 1>only we only allow people to take away things. Yeah,

1:06:48.920 --> 1:06:50.880
<v Speaker 1>I'm not gonna blame him for that, Like, but he

1:06:51.400 --> 1:06:54.840
<v Speaker 1>probably prompted that. Oh absolutely absolutely no, I mean no,

1:06:55.080 --> 1:06:56.840
<v Speaker 1>people do that to you and you love someone.

1:06:57.000 --> 1:06:59.120
<v Speaker 2>It definitely made me think about it, like, wait, am

1:06:59.200 --> 1:07:00.440
<v Speaker 2>I like I never would.

1:07:00.240 --> 1:07:01.600
<v Speaker 1>Just being me questioning it.

1:07:01.840 --> 1:07:03.760
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I mean, but they're definitely something. I was also

1:07:03.800 --> 1:07:06.880
<v Speaker 2>doing some function too, I mean learning inappropriately. I was

1:07:06.960 --> 1:07:09.840
<v Speaker 2>talking to like ex'es. I was, yeah, I was getting

1:07:09.880 --> 1:07:13.680
<v Speaker 2>numbers at club, like what he.

1:07:13.720 --> 1:07:15.160
<v Speaker 1>Said we could be friends.

1:07:15.440 --> 1:07:16.080
<v Speaker 3>Did I cheat?

1:07:16.160 --> 1:07:19.240
<v Speaker 2>I think I cheated at the end for sure. And

1:07:19.360 --> 1:07:22.160
<v Speaker 2>actually it's funny because and he knows this because I

1:07:22.200 --> 1:07:25.440
<v Speaker 2>told him this. But Freddy at the time like my

1:07:25.480 --> 1:07:28.720
<v Speaker 2>baby daddy, like he was. I knew him, like I

1:07:28.760 --> 1:07:30.680
<v Speaker 2>had met him while I was in the relationship with

1:07:31.120 --> 1:07:33.520
<v Speaker 2>with Matt because of friends. First, we were friends with

1:07:33.640 --> 1:07:35.760
<v Speaker 2>secret friends. He didn't even know he was a secret friend.

1:07:36.360 --> 1:07:39.280
<v Speaker 2>I just kept I knew Matt would not allow me

1:07:39.400 --> 1:07:41.320
<v Speaker 2>to be friends with him or would not want me

1:07:41.400 --> 1:07:44.560
<v Speaker 2>to be friends with him. And you were not allowed

1:07:44.560 --> 1:07:47.000
<v Speaker 2>to be friends with anything because I don't know that

1:07:47.320 --> 1:07:50.280
<v Speaker 2>is sex just literally, That's what he would tell me,

1:07:50.440 --> 1:07:54.000
<v Speaker 2>is that it doesn't exist. It's not real. I'm a man,

1:07:54.200 --> 1:07:56.680
<v Speaker 2>trust me. You know, I've heard this like verbada, I'm

1:07:56.720 --> 1:07:59.360
<v Speaker 2>a man. They don't want to not exist. So I

1:07:59.600 --> 1:08:02.000
<v Speaker 2>was really like, I don't believe that because I'm actually

1:08:02.000 --> 1:08:05.920
<v Speaker 2>experiencing relationships that are platonic with men, right. But he

1:08:06.120 --> 1:08:08.040
<v Speaker 2>just wasn't for it. And then at some point, like

1:08:08.240 --> 1:08:10.320
<v Speaker 2>when you hear that enough and you start to not

1:08:10.440 --> 1:08:14.480
<v Speaker 2>believing it, you know, or like yeah, So it's interesting

1:08:14.560 --> 1:08:16.960
<v Speaker 2>to think about that because I do think I was

1:08:17.000 --> 1:08:19.000
<v Speaker 2>super free at that time. I was also really young too.

1:08:19.040 --> 1:08:21.760
<v Speaker 2>It was going out a lot, but like after that relationship,

1:08:24.080 --> 1:08:25.880
<v Speaker 2>I felt like some of that is not.

1:08:27.479 --> 1:08:29.080
<v Speaker 1>I don't know you didn't leave the relationship the same

1:08:29.120 --> 1:08:30.439
<v Speaker 1>why you came into it exactly.

1:08:30.920 --> 1:08:33.320
<v Speaker 2>I don't think anyone really does well. Sometimes you do

1:08:33.400 --> 1:08:36.040
<v Speaker 2>with bullshit ask relationship, yeah right, but the ones that

1:08:36.160 --> 1:08:39.200
<v Speaker 2>really deeply define you, define parts of your life and

1:08:39.280 --> 1:08:42.120
<v Speaker 2>affect you in that way. That was definitely one of them.

1:08:42.200 --> 1:08:44.920
<v Speaker 1>Damn, that's crazy. We're like Clay, and every time we

1:08:46.400 --> 1:08:49.479
<v Speaker 1>partner with someone, they make their impression on us, whether

1:08:49.560 --> 1:08:50.920
<v Speaker 1>that'd be good or bad, and then you have to

1:08:51.000 --> 1:08:54.320
<v Speaker 1>move on with that baggage or whatever. You've However, you've

1:08:54.360 --> 1:08:57.200
<v Speaker 1>shifted your shape, your original you know what I mean,

1:08:57.280 --> 1:09:00.080
<v Speaker 1>And sometimes it's for the better. But sometimes, you.

1:09:00.080 --> 1:09:01.880
<v Speaker 2>Know what also is funny too. I'm sorry, I keep thinking.

1:09:01.920 --> 1:09:04.040
<v Speaker 2>I'm thinking back on this too because I'm thinking about

1:09:04.120 --> 1:09:08.320
<v Speaker 2>that exact idea. And when we were talking when he

1:09:08.400 --> 1:09:11.800
<v Speaker 2>first reconnected, like a few weeks ago, he told me, yeah,

1:09:11.840 --> 1:09:13.960
<v Speaker 2>I remember when you used to be sitting on like

1:09:14.280 --> 1:09:17.360
<v Speaker 2>the computer writing and like making tracks and like singing,

1:09:18.520 --> 1:09:22.080
<v Speaker 2>like built making songs in front of me, and I

1:09:22.120 --> 1:09:23.880
<v Speaker 2>would be doing my thing. And I thought to myself,

1:09:24.280 --> 1:09:26.320
<v Speaker 2>WHOA Like, I can't believe I did that, because there

1:09:26.400 --> 1:09:28.000
<v Speaker 2>was no way I would have done that in front

1:09:28.000 --> 1:09:30.960
<v Speaker 2>of my baby daddy. I did not feel comfortable creating

1:09:31.000 --> 1:09:33.760
<v Speaker 2>in front of him, and he always encouraged my creativity,

1:09:34.040 --> 1:09:35.920
<v Speaker 2>and so that's something that I felt like I lost

1:09:35.960 --> 1:09:39.800
<v Speaker 2>in my next relationship that always encouraged my whereas my ex.

1:09:39.880 --> 1:09:41.599
<v Speaker 2>It's not that he didn't encourage it, he just didn't

1:09:41.600 --> 1:09:45.040
<v Speaker 2>take interest in it, and like I was insecure and

1:09:45.120 --> 1:09:47.439
<v Speaker 2>needed his validation, and because I didn't get it, I

1:09:47.560 --> 1:09:51.439
<v Speaker 2>just thought it wasn't good. So I stopped creating kind

1:09:51.479 --> 1:09:54.360
<v Speaker 2>of and that and I took that with me, and

1:09:54.400 --> 1:09:56.960
<v Speaker 2>I think this podcast has really been the catalyst for

1:09:57.120 --> 1:10:00.240
<v Speaker 2>my creativity out of that, because I felt like I'm

1:10:00.280 --> 1:10:02.680
<v Speaker 2>not an artist, like I know, acting has always been

1:10:02.720 --> 1:10:05.160
<v Speaker 2>there for me regardless, but like other forms of creativity

1:10:05.240 --> 1:10:09.519
<v Speaker 2>like songwriting music, you know, writing stuff, like it was

1:10:09.800 --> 1:10:13.360
<v Speaker 2>just different. And so it's so interesting how things, yeah,

1:10:13.400 --> 1:10:15.840
<v Speaker 2>they do, they take its shape and then you can

1:10:15.920 --> 1:10:16.920
<v Speaker 2>like pop those out.

1:10:17.000 --> 1:10:18.760
<v Speaker 1>Back to how they were, right, know what I mean,

1:10:19.080 --> 1:10:21.720
<v Speaker 1>somethings to go back after some things don't go back

1:10:21.720 --> 1:10:24.920
<v Speaker 1>the same, not to the full capacity, but even maybe

1:10:24.960 --> 1:10:27.800
<v Speaker 1>even to the higher capacity, because you're like fuck that, right,

1:10:28.160 --> 1:10:31.080
<v Speaker 1>But everybody's different and every impression is different and It's

1:10:31.160 --> 1:10:34.640
<v Speaker 1>like it makes me think, how do we had this

1:10:34.840 --> 1:10:39.720
<v Speaker 1>perspective at eighteen? At nineteen, would we have gone into

1:10:39.760 --> 1:10:42.200
<v Speaker 1>these relationships more conscious of that?

1:10:42.439 --> 1:10:45.120
<v Speaker 2>And like how can we prep our kids? I don't know.

1:10:45.200 --> 1:10:47.720
<v Speaker 2>I didn't want to listen to shit. I know, I

1:10:47.920 --> 1:10:50.560
<v Speaker 2>don't know, but now even dropping scenes right now like

1:10:51.280 --> 1:10:53.160
<v Speaker 2>like you know what I mean? No, I know, I know,

1:10:53.360 --> 1:10:56.320
<v Speaker 2>but I'm just saying me personally, like I would not

1:10:56.439 --> 1:10:59.479
<v Speaker 2>have listened, you know, like I am so I still am,

1:10:59.520 --> 1:11:00.960
<v Speaker 2>but it is much as I was then. I was

1:11:01.040 --> 1:11:03.240
<v Speaker 2>so like, I need to live my own life. You

1:11:03.320 --> 1:11:05.240
<v Speaker 2>can't tell me what to do. I know how I feel,

1:11:05.320 --> 1:11:08.880
<v Speaker 2>and I feel confident in my feelings. But when he

1:11:09.080 --> 1:11:11.080
<v Speaker 2>sent me pictures, because that's kind of we're sorry, he

1:11:11.080 --> 1:11:13.519
<v Speaker 2>sent me pictures of like the past, like when I

1:11:13.640 --> 1:11:15.439
<v Speaker 2>was like nineteen hanging out with him, and I was

1:11:15.479 --> 1:11:18.479
<v Speaker 2>looking at those pictures thinking like fuck, I wish I

1:11:18.520 --> 1:11:20.680
<v Speaker 2>could just like whisper in her ear and.

1:11:20.800 --> 1:11:22.679
<v Speaker 1>Tell her some shit real quick.

1:11:22.920 --> 1:11:25.280
<v Speaker 2>I see in my eye I could see like the

1:11:26.400 --> 1:11:29.360
<v Speaker 2>I think I know it all shit in my eyes.

1:11:30.360 --> 1:11:33.599
<v Speaker 1>I swear to God, I was like, you don't know shite,

1:11:33.760 --> 1:11:35.240
<v Speaker 1>whisper you no, no.

1:11:35.600 --> 1:11:37.599
<v Speaker 2>Shit shout the buck up, sit down, listen to her

1:11:37.640 --> 1:11:41.720
<v Speaker 2>mom also, like, because there's there's things that I could

1:11:41.760 --> 1:11:43.880
<v Speaker 2>have totally avoided had I just listened to my mother.

1:11:44.320 --> 1:11:46.519
<v Speaker 2>And sometimes I battle with that now as an adult

1:11:46.560 --> 1:11:49.040
<v Speaker 2>too because I know that. And then she she still

1:11:49.080 --> 1:11:51.760
<v Speaker 2>continuously obviously gives me her opinion advice. I'm solicited, but

1:11:51.760 --> 1:11:54.599
<v Speaker 2>I love you, mom, but sometimes i'm and I don't

1:11:54.640 --> 1:11:56.479
<v Speaker 2>take it all the time because I feel like, okay,

1:11:56.520 --> 1:11:58.800
<v Speaker 2>but I also have to be my own person. It's

1:11:58.880 --> 1:12:01.160
<v Speaker 2>just like knowing what to listen to and how to

1:12:01.320 --> 1:12:03.160
<v Speaker 2>like seed through those things.

1:12:03.280 --> 1:12:04.439
<v Speaker 1>You know, It's true.

1:12:04.560 --> 1:12:06.400
<v Speaker 2>It's just now being a.

1:12:06.479 --> 1:12:10.479
<v Speaker 1>Mom right right now and like being like and knowing

1:12:11.000 --> 1:12:13.240
<v Speaker 1>how it feels to be that person. It's like fuck you,

1:12:13.320 --> 1:12:15.000
<v Speaker 1>you fuck you.

1:12:16.200 --> 1:12:20.120
<v Speaker 2>Then you're like, but I've been there, I see it.

1:12:20.320 --> 1:12:21.920
<v Speaker 1>But I really think it's about That's why I think

1:12:21.920 --> 1:12:25.000
<v Speaker 1>it's really important to start, like not conversations like that,

1:12:25.240 --> 1:12:28.480
<v Speaker 1>but just like really be mindful what type of relationship

1:12:28.520 --> 1:12:31.000
<v Speaker 1>we're making, because we know how they're gonna get and

1:12:31.120 --> 1:12:33.240
<v Speaker 1>so we start now, maybe they'll I don't know, we

1:12:33.280 --> 1:12:37.920
<v Speaker 1>could avoid it. Fuck, I have one more girl, Okay,

1:12:40.240 --> 1:12:42.679
<v Speaker 1>who was the girl who she walked into the dorm

1:12:42.760 --> 1:12:43.599
<v Speaker 1>room and was there.

1:12:43.720 --> 1:12:48.439
<v Speaker 2>Oh god, oh my god, it's like a Beello novella.

1:12:48.880 --> 1:12:51.479
<v Speaker 1>This is my second girlfriend ever that I guess I

1:12:51.600 --> 1:12:53.200
<v Speaker 1>cheated on the one we just got off the phone with.

1:12:53.280 --> 1:12:54.920
<v Speaker 2>Well, how long did this one last? This was like

1:12:55.120 --> 1:12:57.240
<v Speaker 2>maybe a year? Okay or two?

1:12:59.760 --> 1:13:04.800
<v Speaker 1>I can't remember this, but guess who will? She will?

1:13:08.080 --> 1:13:18.880
<v Speaker 8>Okay, make a wish's one eleven?

1:13:20.160 --> 1:13:27.720
<v Speaker 2>H Hi, how are you good?

1:13:28.000 --> 1:13:28.759
<v Speaker 1>We're recording?

1:13:30.080 --> 1:13:34.680
<v Speaker 2>Okay, okay, so this is Erica. Hi, how are you?

1:13:37.160 --> 1:13:39.680
<v Speaker 2>I'm good, I'm good. I'm just gonna ask you if

1:13:39.720 --> 1:13:41.559
<v Speaker 2>you you know, questions about dating Jamila?

1:13:42.280 --> 1:13:43.320
<v Speaker 3>See how that was for you?

1:13:44.640 --> 1:13:47.160
<v Speaker 2>Okay, okay, So how did you guys see how that was?

1:13:48.200 --> 1:13:48.240
<v Speaker 4>You?

1:13:48.840 --> 1:13:49.160
<v Speaker 1>Survey?

1:13:49.280 --> 1:13:51.640
<v Speaker 2>How did you guys meet? How did you and Jamilla meet?

1:13:56.080 --> 1:13:57.320
<v Speaker 3>Atlanta Club?

1:13:57.960 --> 1:13:58.599
<v Speaker 4>Track side?

1:13:58.760 --> 1:14:01.439
<v Speaker 3>Back in I don't even remember what year that was.

1:14:01.680 --> 1:14:03.080
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, you're making this sound like.

1:14:06.640 --> 1:14:09.599
<v Speaker 1>Back on dirt Road, back over there, you know, over

1:14:09.680 --> 1:14:12.439
<v Speaker 1>a back on it was a niggle to get a pop.

1:14:12.600 --> 1:14:12.760
<v Speaker 3>You know.

1:14:16.439 --> 1:14:18.080
<v Speaker 1>It's her a Georgia accent.

1:14:19.200 --> 1:14:20.160
<v Speaker 2>How long did you guys date?

1:14:22.120 --> 1:14:23.719
<v Speaker 3>I don't know, I like the years.

1:14:23.760 --> 1:14:27.479
<v Speaker 1>Say, okay, would you say that you guys were in love.

1:14:30.160 --> 1:14:33.200
<v Speaker 3>Uh no, no, we thought we were go right back

1:14:33.280 --> 1:14:34.479
<v Speaker 3>in when nineteen?

1:14:35.920 --> 1:14:37.439
<v Speaker 4>But if I want to go back here now?

1:14:37.760 --> 1:14:41.080
<v Speaker 2>Hey, no, no, okay, you are lying.

1:14:43.160 --> 1:14:45.559
<v Speaker 3>I mean I mean I.

1:14:45.640 --> 1:14:46.200
<v Speaker 4>Thought we were.

1:14:46.640 --> 1:14:48.040
<v Speaker 3>How's going on back then? Yeah?

1:14:48.400 --> 1:14:49.120
<v Speaker 4>The lick it back?

1:14:53.120 --> 1:14:53.240
<v Speaker 3>Was it?

1:14:53.280 --> 1:14:54.519
<v Speaker 2>Whose fault was it? That it ended?

1:14:56.200 --> 1:14:56.479
<v Speaker 3>Both?

1:14:59.360 --> 1:15:01.519
<v Speaker 2>What is the Jamila's best trait?

1:15:03.479 --> 1:15:04.280
<v Speaker 3>Her sex feel?

1:15:06.120 --> 1:15:09.240
<v Speaker 2>Is that a trait likes what she's like, sexy, like

1:15:09.320 --> 1:15:10.280
<v Speaker 2>the way she was.

1:15:11.120 --> 1:15:14.160
<v Speaker 9>She just it's some type of fluidity, man, you know,

1:15:14.720 --> 1:15:17.000
<v Speaker 9>can't denier she can stick out in the room.

1:15:18.240 --> 1:15:18.600
<v Speaker 3>I like that.

1:15:18.640 --> 1:15:21.559
<v Speaker 2>I agree with that. What's her worst trait.

1:15:22.880 --> 1:15:23.599
<v Speaker 4>Or sex feel?

1:15:28.800 --> 1:15:36.240
<v Speaker 2>I love that answer? So can you elaborate on that?

1:15:40.640 --> 1:15:45.599
<v Speaker 3>Let's see, she knows it. She knows that she's good

1:15:45.680 --> 1:15:46.360
<v Speaker 3>at what she does.

1:15:46.479 --> 1:15:49.559
<v Speaker 6>She has the ability to talk anyone out of anything,

1:15:51.000 --> 1:15:51.679
<v Speaker 6>which is great.

1:15:52.080 --> 1:15:54.200
<v Speaker 3>It's good and bad. But you have to have.

1:15:56.240 --> 1:15:57.439
<v Speaker 4>The dater, really, you have to.

1:15:58.920 --> 1:15:59.760
<v Speaker 2>You have to have touch skin.

1:16:00.800 --> 1:16:03.000
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, you gotta haves tough skin. You gotta be confident

1:16:03.040 --> 1:16:07.880
<v Speaker 3>within yourself. Can't be like you know, all in your

1:16:07.920 --> 1:16:08.719
<v Speaker 3>feelings and shit.

1:16:08.840 --> 1:16:12.200
<v Speaker 9>But she's still still a caregiver, you know, So you

1:16:12.320 --> 1:16:16.800
<v Speaker 9>just gotta look outside of just her eccentric ways, and

1:16:16.880 --> 1:16:18.160
<v Speaker 9>note that she still loved you.

1:16:18.240 --> 1:16:19.120
<v Speaker 1>No matter what you know?

1:16:20.600 --> 1:16:24.800
<v Speaker 2>Right, So what would you say, Like it sounds like

1:16:24.880 --> 1:16:27.320
<v Speaker 2>there was maybe drama in your relationship. What would you say,

1:16:27.439 --> 1:16:29.840
<v Speaker 2>is the most dramatic thing that happened in your relationship?

1:16:31.479 --> 1:16:31.839
<v Speaker 1>Okay?

1:16:32.760 --> 1:16:37.360
<v Speaker 4>Oh god, you went through it quite a bit.

1:16:38.040 --> 1:16:40.880
<v Speaker 9>I think we just you know, it was just like, uh,

1:16:43.240 --> 1:16:45.719
<v Speaker 9>all right, we both were young and cheating and ship

1:16:45.960 --> 1:16:48.639
<v Speaker 9>doing stuff we ain't had no business not being honest

1:16:48.680 --> 1:16:49.320
<v Speaker 9>with you, shoulder.

1:16:50.160 --> 1:16:54.519
<v Speaker 1>Oh so you both were cheating, were both cheated? Yeah, Okay,

1:16:57.040 --> 1:16:57.760
<v Speaker 1>who started it?

1:17:00.960 --> 1:17:01.200
<v Speaker 6>God?

1:17:03.520 --> 1:17:04.560
<v Speaker 3>You did that?

1:17:05.160 --> 1:17:05.599
<v Speaker 9>She's saying.

1:17:05.640 --> 1:17:08.679
<v Speaker 3>I don't agree with it, because Jana is good boy.

1:17:08.760 --> 1:17:11.360
<v Speaker 3>She was. She had a whole d like a whole

1:17:12.800 --> 1:17:15.880
<v Speaker 3>shit o what oh my god.

1:17:16.680 --> 1:17:21.320
<v Speaker 1>Okay, So I had a diary. Okay, I'm a huge journaler,

1:17:21.640 --> 1:17:24.040
<v Speaker 1>or I used to be. Like growing up, I journaled,

1:17:24.120 --> 1:17:28.200
<v Speaker 1>so like I still journaled into college. And because I journaled,

1:17:28.240 --> 1:17:30.040
<v Speaker 1>I got in a lot of trouble from my journals

1:17:30.080 --> 1:17:32.240
<v Speaker 1>at school with my parents. People were reading my ship.

1:17:32.320 --> 1:17:34.160
<v Speaker 1>But I'd like to journal. So at one point I

1:17:34.280 --> 1:17:37.040
<v Speaker 1>started like a secret code. Then I still remember till

1:17:37.040 --> 1:17:39.519
<v Speaker 1>this day, I can write into to this day. So

1:17:39.600 --> 1:17:41.960
<v Speaker 1>I wrote in the code, and I was telling all

1:17:42.040 --> 1:17:44.160
<v Speaker 1>my ship and I wrote and I told I gave

1:17:44.240 --> 1:17:46.120
<v Speaker 1>my I was like, I'm so dumb, I would think

1:17:46.120 --> 1:17:47.800
<v Speaker 1>I was drunk. She was there and I tell my friend,

1:17:47.960 --> 1:17:49.760
<v Speaker 1>you should know my code, and I gave her like

1:17:49.800 --> 1:17:51.720
<v Speaker 1>a key to know my code because I wanted her

1:17:51.720 --> 1:17:52.400
<v Speaker 1>to write to me in it.

1:17:52.600 --> 1:17:57.200
<v Speaker 2>Whatever. I'm like, fucking eighteen nineteen, this bitch while.

1:17:57.000 --> 1:18:00.519
<v Speaker 1>I was at school at college. She finds the she

1:18:00.640 --> 1:18:02.559
<v Speaker 1>must have been wanting to get her hands on that key,

1:18:02.920 --> 1:18:06.040
<v Speaker 1>and she just she like decoded my journal while I

1:18:06.120 --> 1:18:08.960
<v Speaker 1>was at school, but you were writing a secret code,

1:18:09.400 --> 1:18:11.880
<v Speaker 1>Like like I liked to journal, but people kept reading

1:18:11.920 --> 1:18:12.200
<v Speaker 1>my ship.

1:18:12.240 --> 1:18:12.880
<v Speaker 2>So I wrote in a.

1:18:12.920 --> 1:18:16.120
<v Speaker 1>Code, like who is who's always reading your journal? My parents?

1:18:17.400 --> 1:18:20.240
<v Speaker 2>My parents. I'm sorry to call you a bitch, just kidding,

1:18:20.840 --> 1:18:25.360
<v Speaker 2>but like yeah, so this is like yeah.

1:18:25.360 --> 1:18:32.719
<v Speaker 1>So continue, Okay, I don't remember. I don't remember.

1:18:33.400 --> 1:18:39.400
<v Speaker 2>Basically, did you did you guys meet each other's parents?

1:18:40.920 --> 1:18:41.160
<v Speaker 4>Yeah?

1:18:42.080 --> 1:18:44.439
<v Speaker 1>I lived with her and her parents at one point.

1:18:44.680 --> 1:18:46.240
<v Speaker 2>Oh, what are your what did your what did your

1:18:47.360 --> 1:18:53.640
<v Speaker 2>parents think of Jamila? What about you?

1:18:54.520 --> 1:18:56.920
<v Speaker 1>My parents liked Toya. I think my parents actually on

1:18:57.000 --> 1:18:59.200
<v Speaker 1>this point were like I think they thought when I

1:18:59.240 --> 1:19:01.280
<v Speaker 1>brought the first girl home that it was like h

1:19:01.400 --> 1:19:03.120
<v Speaker 1>ha ha ha. And then I brought the second carl

1:19:03.160 --> 1:19:05.280
<v Speaker 1>home and they're like, bitch. They were getting a little

1:19:05.280 --> 1:19:10.000
<v Speaker 1>annoyed of my lesbianist and lesbianism. And I think we

1:19:10.240 --> 1:19:12.439
<v Speaker 1>came We were staying at her parents house because I

1:19:12.439 --> 1:19:13.800
<v Speaker 1>didn't want to go home for the summer because we

1:19:13.840 --> 1:19:16.760
<v Speaker 1>were so in fucking love. And then she came home

1:19:16.800 --> 1:19:18.599
<v Speaker 1>with me in the summer, and I think we were

1:19:18.600 --> 1:19:20.280
<v Speaker 1>like too broke to get back. So we're there for

1:19:20.360 --> 1:19:22.559
<v Speaker 1>like a month, and then they were getting over us both,

1:19:22.640 --> 1:19:23.920
<v Speaker 1>and then we ended up going back.

1:19:24.320 --> 1:19:30.360
<v Speaker 2>Mmm, would you ever get back in a relationship with Jamila?

1:19:31.640 --> 1:19:32.960
<v Speaker 3>No? Why not?

1:19:35.400 --> 1:19:36.160
<v Speaker 2>Wud you guys talk?

1:19:36.240 --> 1:19:36.360
<v Speaker 4>Now?

1:19:36.479 --> 1:19:37.400
<v Speaker 2>Do you guys ever chat?

1:19:37.479 --> 1:19:37.559
<v Speaker 3>Now?

1:19:37.760 --> 1:19:40.160
<v Speaker 2>Do you know like the type of you? Would you

1:19:40.160 --> 1:19:41.400
<v Speaker 2>say that she's changed much?

1:19:44.120 --> 1:19:44.320
<v Speaker 1>Yeah?

1:19:45.200 --> 1:19:47.360
<v Speaker 9>I think she's definitely a chron I don't think her

1:19:47.400 --> 1:19:51.959
<v Speaker 9>personality has changed, which is great, that's a good thing personality.

1:19:52.600 --> 1:19:55.000
<v Speaker 2>But you couldn't You can't imagine yourself dating her again.

1:19:56.600 --> 1:20:02.080
<v Speaker 2>I mean, no, would you got would you say that

1:20:02.280 --> 1:20:05.400
<v Speaker 2>in your relationship you guys were like sexually in sync,

1:20:05.560 --> 1:20:10.479
<v Speaker 2>Like you guys had like a really strong connection sexually

1:20:10.560 --> 1:20:12.240
<v Speaker 2>or was it more like mentally.

1:20:13.680 --> 1:20:18.880
<v Speaker 1>Not sexually not sexually, No, definitely sexually, Oh, okay.

1:20:18.880 --> 1:20:20.120
<v Speaker 2>More sexually than mentally.

1:20:22.240 --> 1:20:23.720
<v Speaker 4>Uh you mean now?

1:20:24.000 --> 1:20:24.800
<v Speaker 2>Or then none?

1:20:26.400 --> 1:20:28.559
<v Speaker 9>And it was a little bit both, I think. I mean,

1:20:28.640 --> 1:20:31.080
<v Speaker 9>I definitely learned a great deal from Jamila. If it

1:20:31.200 --> 1:20:34.080
<v Speaker 9>wasn't for her, to be completely honest, I would have

1:20:34.200 --> 1:20:37.880
<v Speaker 9>known a lot of things about different cultures and things

1:20:37.920 --> 1:20:38.320
<v Speaker 9>of sort.

1:20:39.040 --> 1:20:42.840
<v Speaker 2>So how how would you describe her? How would you

1:20:42.880 --> 1:20:43.559
<v Speaker 2>describe Jamila?

1:20:48.280 --> 1:20:48.519
<v Speaker 3>Shit?

1:20:48.960 --> 1:20:53.559
<v Speaker 9>Always happy for the most part, you know, like there's

1:20:53.640 --> 1:20:55.280
<v Speaker 9>nothing that you can't tackle.

1:20:56.240 --> 1:20:58.439
<v Speaker 3>And I don't even know if I ever really see her.

1:20:58.360 --> 1:21:06.599
<v Speaker 9>Sleep, to be honest, always sleeping about sleep, good spirit,

1:21:07.479 --> 1:21:08.040
<v Speaker 9>great person.

1:21:10.520 --> 1:21:11.760
<v Speaker 2>What was your best date night?

1:21:14.080 --> 1:21:15.760
<v Speaker 3>Oh, we got quite a few, you know, I was

1:21:16.720 --> 1:21:18.800
<v Speaker 3>you know, ship ain't did around.

1:21:20.479 --> 1:21:21.400
<v Speaker 4>A daily.

1:21:26.160 --> 1:21:29.439
<v Speaker 3>Huh. Yeah, she gave me a surprise birthday party.

1:21:30.120 --> 1:21:32.400
<v Speaker 2>I'm a Roman, God damn it.

1:21:32.840 --> 1:21:35.280
<v Speaker 3>Imagine. Yeah, I mean, I mean, we have quite a

1:21:35.320 --> 1:21:38.479
<v Speaker 3>few good days. Like it was everything. They didn't have

1:21:38.600 --> 1:21:41.360
<v Speaker 3>a lot of bad moms to toys. Then so.

1:21:43.920 --> 1:21:48.599
<v Speaker 2>All right, well, I don't know, hmmm's big. Sorry, I'm

1:21:48.640 --> 1:21:49.120
<v Speaker 2>high girl.

1:21:49.439 --> 1:21:53.879
<v Speaker 1>We got high high Now I'm like I can sotell

1:21:53.920 --> 1:22:02.640
<v Speaker 1>you're high too, she needs help? No high ass, No,

1:22:02.760 --> 1:22:04.040
<v Speaker 1>it's us, we're high.

1:22:04.880 --> 1:22:07.639
<v Speaker 2>What would you say you learned from dating Jamila? Besides

1:22:07.920 --> 1:22:10.519
<v Speaker 2>you know, I guess you said that she cultured you. Like,

1:22:10.680 --> 1:22:14.160
<v Speaker 2>was it like something like was it like I'll never

1:22:14.240 --> 1:22:16.880
<v Speaker 2>date someone like her again? Or was it something like I.

1:22:17.080 --> 1:22:18.559
<v Speaker 1>I love this.

1:22:21.080 --> 1:22:23.840
<v Speaker 9>What you said, but a long time to get over

1:22:23.880 --> 1:22:26.080
<v Speaker 9>to because there's there's not a lot of women that

1:22:26.400 --> 1:22:28.719
<v Speaker 9>that's a trait of hers.

1:22:28.840 --> 1:22:31.920
<v Speaker 3>It cannot be taught, you know, that's that comes from

1:22:31.960 --> 1:22:35.040
<v Speaker 3>a dan you know a lot of stuff. It's just her.

1:22:35.160 --> 1:22:38.080
<v Speaker 9>It's her inter being, her personality like that cannot be

1:22:38.880 --> 1:22:42.720
<v Speaker 9>nor limit. So it's kind of hard to hold up

1:22:42.760 --> 1:22:45.320
<v Speaker 9>to that pet of story, you know, so.

1:22:45.439 --> 1:22:49.559
<v Speaker 3>To be it was difficult, but I dated it right

1:22:49.560 --> 1:22:54.479
<v Speaker 3>now about my stuff, and I was like, you know,

1:22:56.040 --> 1:22:56.519
<v Speaker 3>you know, it's a.

1:22:58.360 --> 1:22:58.840
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but.

1:23:00.720 --> 1:23:01.559
<v Speaker 4>I don't get them wrong.

1:23:01.640 --> 1:23:03.439
<v Speaker 3>I was I was a young balk.

1:23:04.680 --> 1:23:05.160
<v Speaker 2>You are young?

1:23:05.240 --> 1:23:09.200
<v Speaker 3>What super.

1:23:10.880 --> 1:23:11.559
<v Speaker 2>A little bumpkin.

1:23:11.680 --> 1:23:13.880
<v Speaker 1>I brought an account l a girl. We're going to

1:23:13.960 --> 1:23:16.160
<v Speaker 1>the club, but we were like doing all types of

1:23:16.360 --> 1:23:19.519
<v Speaker 1>la ship and she's super shy. She's shy, and she's

1:23:19.680 --> 1:23:21.960
<v Speaker 1>just like what the fuck is happening? And like we're

1:23:21.960 --> 1:23:24.200
<v Speaker 1>going to the club. Take off your hand.

1:23:24.360 --> 1:23:25.280
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I.

1:23:27.520 --> 1:23:30.200
<v Speaker 2>Got an idea has the same age. I think she's

1:23:30.200 --> 1:23:30.679
<v Speaker 2>a year older.

1:23:31.360 --> 1:23:31.760
<v Speaker 7>I'm real.

1:23:33.000 --> 1:23:36.719
<v Speaker 3>Oh wow, Well yeah, that's great.

1:23:38.560 --> 1:23:42.360
<v Speaker 2>Well, I I appreciate you. I feel like I've gotten

1:23:42.400 --> 1:23:46.400
<v Speaker 2>to know Jamila's former dating trends to compare now to

1:23:46.479 --> 1:23:50.560
<v Speaker 2>her current dating trends, which are different, but there's some similarities.

1:23:50.600 --> 1:23:51.280
<v Speaker 2>And I think that's just.

1:23:51.360 --> 1:23:56.760
<v Speaker 1>Natural right where we are who we are. But thank

1:23:56.800 --> 1:23:59.559
<v Speaker 1>you for your time, No problem.

1:24:00.400 --> 1:24:02.840
<v Speaker 2>Thanks, I'll call you later.

1:24:04.439 --> 1:24:13.360
<v Speaker 1>By Okay, Oh wow, Okay, you're high.

1:24:14.400 --> 1:24:16.679
<v Speaker 2>I'm sorry. I just felt like she I'm just high.

1:24:16.880 --> 1:24:20.560
<v Speaker 2>I felt like I don't know, I just felt like

1:24:21.520 --> 1:24:23.120
<v Speaker 2>she wasn't like I don't know, I don't know. I

1:24:23.240 --> 1:24:25.400
<v Speaker 2>just wasn't getting all the answers. I felt like she

1:24:25.600 --> 1:24:27.760
<v Speaker 2>was You both were fine. She was being very You

1:24:27.840 --> 1:24:30.559
<v Speaker 2>were fine, too, thought me because on the last who

1:24:30.640 --> 1:24:33.280
<v Speaker 2>told the other girl more sh about her than you

1:24:33.320 --> 1:24:34.360
<v Speaker 2>said on the phone with her.

1:24:34.479 --> 1:24:35.920
<v Speaker 1>Well, let me be clear and be clear.

1:24:36.560 --> 1:24:43.479
<v Speaker 10>She I'm a very spiteful person, clearly because I just

1:24:43.600 --> 1:24:47.200
<v Speaker 10>realized she cheated on me early, and she was the

1:24:47.200 --> 1:24:47.920
<v Speaker 10>first person cheated.

1:24:48.000 --> 1:24:48.760
<v Speaker 2>She was the first person.

1:24:48.920 --> 1:24:55.479
<v Speaker 1>No, not ever in the relationship and like it was

1:24:55.600 --> 1:24:57.519
<v Speaker 1>just in a way that to me, I did not like.

1:24:57.640 --> 1:24:59.160
<v Speaker 1>It was so blatant, and I think I was like

1:24:59.240 --> 1:25:01.599
<v Speaker 1>kind of like young and dumbs. I didn't say anything.

1:25:02.040 --> 1:25:04.040
<v Speaker 1>I didn't speak up for myself. She made me feel

1:25:04.240 --> 1:25:07.080
<v Speaker 1>super insecure about these two bitches who I look back

1:25:07.160 --> 1:25:11.160
<v Speaker 1>and I'm like, bitch, are you dumb? And I'm just

1:25:11.320 --> 1:25:13.639
<v Speaker 1>like I just remember feeling so I love.

1:25:13.520 --> 1:25:14.240
<v Speaker 3>This bitch so much.

1:25:14.280 --> 1:25:16.320
<v Speaker 1>And she was just like blatantly flirting with these girls

1:25:16.360 --> 1:25:18.360
<v Speaker 1>in my face. And I found out that they had

1:25:18.400 --> 1:25:22.280
<v Speaker 1>fucked around, and after that it was just like, bitch,

1:25:22.320 --> 1:25:23.439
<v Speaker 1>you should have never fuck with me.

1:25:23.560 --> 1:25:25.280
<v Speaker 2>So it was like, so you stayed with her? But

1:25:25.400 --> 1:25:27.200
<v Speaker 2>then frightful shit.

1:25:27.400 --> 1:25:31.000
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I mean basically I had like had a whole

1:25:31.120 --> 1:25:35.560
<v Speaker 1>like Nigga and Philly that I was saying. Sometimes I

1:25:35.640 --> 1:25:39.519
<v Speaker 1>got pregnant by him. He was he was fake Muslim.

1:25:39.600 --> 1:25:41.839
<v Speaker 1>He didn't want to give me the money for an abortion,

1:25:42.040 --> 1:25:44.360
<v Speaker 1>and shit, oh my God told me to call his

1:25:44.479 --> 1:25:46.080
<v Speaker 1>brother because you don't believe in that. And they got

1:25:46.120 --> 1:25:49.120
<v Speaker 1>like seven kids. Now wait, but how did she find

1:25:49.120 --> 1:25:49.439
<v Speaker 1>this out?

1:25:49.560 --> 1:25:49.720
<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

1:25:49.720 --> 1:25:51.400
<v Speaker 1>Because she read my journal in the secret code.

1:25:51.439 --> 1:25:53.720
<v Speaker 2>What the fuck is the secret code? What is the

1:25:53.800 --> 1:25:55.040
<v Speaker 2>secret code like numbers.

1:25:55.240 --> 1:25:57.880
<v Speaker 1>No, it's like shapes. I got shapes.

1:25:58.160 --> 1:25:59.640
<v Speaker 2>It's fucking symbols.

1:26:00.120 --> 1:26:00.879
<v Speaker 1>It's the alphabet.

1:26:01.960 --> 1:26:02.000
<v Speaker 3>What.

1:26:02.680 --> 1:26:06.120
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, how do you were writing full words with the shapes?

1:26:06.280 --> 1:26:07.240
<v Speaker 1>Yes, the whole entry.

1:26:07.640 --> 1:26:09.200
<v Speaker 2>Let me find out. Your mother fucking genius.

1:26:09.800 --> 1:26:11.000
<v Speaker 1>I don't know if it makes me a genius.

1:26:11.160 --> 1:26:12.439
<v Speaker 3>I don't. I don't know. I do.

1:26:13.360 --> 1:26:15.320
<v Speaker 2>I couldn't do it. I could show you yet, but

1:26:15.400 --> 1:26:16.519
<v Speaker 2>they must have been short entries.

1:26:17.000 --> 1:26:19.560
<v Speaker 1>No, I've been doing it for years. I've had this

1:26:19.640 --> 1:26:21.080
<v Speaker 1>since I was probably an eighth grade. I told you,

1:26:21.120 --> 1:26:24.439
<v Speaker 1>I've had a chronic issue with journaling and people finding out.

1:26:24.479 --> 1:26:26.479
<v Speaker 1>I got kicked out of school in seventh grade over it.

1:26:26.600 --> 1:26:27.920
<v Speaker 2>Wait, why'd you kicked out of school?

1:26:27.960 --> 1:26:29.200
<v Speaker 1>I went to a Lutheran school.

1:26:29.280 --> 1:26:29.720
<v Speaker 2>I hated it.

1:26:29.920 --> 1:26:31.719
<v Speaker 1>It was it was my first year went in private school.

1:26:31.720 --> 1:26:34.240
<v Speaker 1>I didn't want to go. And I wrote in my

1:26:34.320 --> 1:26:36.200
<v Speaker 1>journal at school and I was like, I said, how

1:26:36.200 --> 1:26:37.680
<v Speaker 1>me and my mom had gotten into it? She had

1:26:37.720 --> 1:26:39.760
<v Speaker 1>like kicked me. How I hated the school. I wanted

1:26:39.800 --> 1:26:42.519
<v Speaker 1>to get finger banged. Literally, I'm like, I don't want

1:26:42.520 --> 1:26:44.360
<v Speaker 1>to have sex. I want to do more than titty sucking.

1:26:44.400 --> 1:26:46.519
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, I want to get finger banged, and they

1:26:46.640 --> 1:26:48.920
<v Speaker 1>fucking I think that. I mean, I've gotten trouble from

1:26:48.920 --> 1:26:51.160
<v Speaker 1>writing shit literally every day.

1:26:51.280 --> 1:26:51.479
<v Speaker 3>You know what.

1:26:51.520 --> 1:26:53.400
<v Speaker 1>I got in trouble for writing shit too, yeah, like

1:26:53.520 --> 1:26:56.080
<v Speaker 1>my mom. Yeah not like that though, But like I said,

1:26:56.080 --> 1:26:58.360
<v Speaker 1>I hated the teachers. I hated the school. Everybody was

1:26:58.439 --> 1:27:00.880
<v Speaker 1>dumb and small minded and Christian or something. And at

1:27:00.920 --> 1:27:02.439
<v Speaker 1>the end of the year, they're like, we don't know

1:27:02.439 --> 1:27:04.559
<v Speaker 1>if we're going to see the nice Jamala we've seen

1:27:04.600 --> 1:27:08.080
<v Speaker 1>all year or this this side of this sinful side

1:27:08.120 --> 1:27:11.200
<v Speaker 1>of Jamala. Oh god side they called. They called like

1:27:11.280 --> 1:27:13.640
<v Speaker 1>the Social services on my mom because I said, she

1:27:13.800 --> 1:27:16.920
<v Speaker 1>like hit me, it came to my house. It was

1:27:17.000 --> 1:27:17.880
<v Speaker 1>just a whole big deal.

1:27:17.960 --> 1:27:18.160
<v Speaker 3>Girl.

1:27:18.280 --> 1:27:20.200
<v Speaker 1>Then I had Then I got a note read that

1:27:20.280 --> 1:27:22.320
<v Speaker 1>I was a lesbian in eighth grade and I loved

1:27:22.360 --> 1:27:25.680
<v Speaker 1>my my friend Asia, who I still love, but like

1:27:25.880 --> 1:27:27.479
<v Speaker 1>I was really in love with her then. And then

1:27:27.880 --> 1:27:31.559
<v Speaker 1>what else? I got caught with my journal so many times.

1:27:31.880 --> 1:27:35.320
<v Speaker 1>So then this bitch I had made a code, and

1:27:35.360 --> 1:27:37.639
<v Speaker 1>then this bitch decodes it and finds out.

1:27:38.040 --> 1:27:43.360
<v Speaker 2>The fact this is code. I can't fucking code. The

1:27:43.479 --> 1:27:46.320
<v Speaker 2>bitch decoded your secret journal of shapes.

1:27:46.800 --> 1:27:49.160
<v Speaker 1>She did Wow, I mean, right, so I'm on the board.

1:27:49.479 --> 1:27:52.439
<v Speaker 1>I can't wait to show you this anyway. Also was

1:27:52.520 --> 1:27:55.280
<v Speaker 1>I started fucking my friend who was my like stud

1:27:55.400 --> 1:27:57.880
<v Speaker 1>lesbian best friend and we had it bug but then

1:27:57.920 --> 1:28:01.639
<v Speaker 1>I started fucking her. She also read that, and then

1:28:01.680 --> 1:28:04.840
<v Speaker 1>I actually, right after this relationship, started dating my friend

1:28:04.840 --> 1:28:06.960
<v Speaker 1>who I cheated on her with, which was like my

1:28:07.080 --> 1:28:09.600
<v Speaker 1>comma for all of this ship. She started dating, I

1:28:09.720 --> 1:28:12.120
<v Speaker 1>started dating my friend who I was who I had fucked,

1:28:12.200 --> 1:28:14.240
<v Speaker 1>But that was my karma for all of my relationships

1:28:14.240 --> 1:28:15.960
<v Speaker 1>because she was the worst to bitch to me ever,

1:28:16.200 --> 1:28:17.960
<v Speaker 1>chated on me so terribly. I was so in love

1:28:18.000 --> 1:28:18.200
<v Speaker 1>with her.

1:28:18.280 --> 1:28:20.000
<v Speaker 2>She stole money from me, she hit me.

1:28:20.160 --> 1:28:24.240
<v Speaker 1>She was just like the worst ever. But yeah, that

1:28:24.400 --> 1:28:28.000
<v Speaker 1>girl was being super surface and actually she's very judgmental

1:28:29.600 --> 1:28:33.960
<v Speaker 1>and she I just had sex with her recently, like

1:28:34.680 --> 1:28:36.720
<v Speaker 1>a couple of months ago, and the sex was still

1:28:36.760 --> 1:28:38.000
<v Speaker 1>good actually, but.

1:28:39.600 --> 1:28:40.959
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, she was super judgmental.

1:28:41.200 --> 1:28:42.400
<v Speaker 1>That would never work again.

1:28:42.920 --> 1:28:43.360
<v Speaker 2>Anyway.

1:28:43.680 --> 1:28:48.000
<v Speaker 1>I guess the conclusion here is, don't cheat on me first.

1:28:51.240 --> 1:28:54.200
<v Speaker 1>I will never let it go, which is really sad,

1:28:54.280 --> 1:28:56.240
<v Speaker 1>but true, ours.

1:28:56.040 --> 1:28:57.120
<v Speaker 2>Has more free than we think.

1:28:57.360 --> 1:29:00.240
<v Speaker 1>Erica was once a former free but then she now

1:29:00.320 --> 1:29:03.080
<v Speaker 1>coming back to that we are both too free to

1:29:03.160 --> 1:29:06.599
<v Speaker 1>be dated. If you are insecure in any capacity, we're

1:29:06.680 --> 1:29:09.519
<v Speaker 1>not to be fucked with. Get you a California girl,

1:29:10.280 --> 1:29:13.400
<v Speaker 1>especially if from the Midwest or down south, they will

1:29:13.479 --> 1:29:21.080
<v Speaker 1>teach you the ways anything else. And also once you

1:29:21.200 --> 1:29:26.559
<v Speaker 1>go Eric or Jamila, good luck after that. I'm just kidding.

1:29:27.800 --> 1:29:30.160
<v Speaker 2>I don't know. I guess it's just I don't know.

1:29:30.280 --> 1:29:35.280
<v Speaker 2>And you know, Honor, I'm I'm really there's things about

1:29:35.320 --> 1:29:37.200
<v Speaker 2>the past that I'm like, damn, I'm trying to get

1:29:37.200 --> 1:29:38.760
<v Speaker 2>back to that. Then there's things about the past where

1:29:38.760 --> 1:29:41.120
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, I'm so glad I'm not there anymore, I know,

1:29:41.560 --> 1:29:44.040
<v Speaker 2>you know, like even being able to have a conversation

1:29:44.160 --> 1:29:45.880
<v Speaker 2>with my ex and like the are the things I

1:29:45.920 --> 1:29:47.200
<v Speaker 2>never thought I would be able to do. And that's

1:29:47.240 --> 1:29:49.920
<v Speaker 2>just what growth does. Even now, Like I think about

1:29:49.960 --> 1:29:53.559
<v Speaker 2>my relationship with you know, my my my daughter's father,

1:29:53.760 --> 1:29:55.679
<v Speaker 2>you know, like we go through shit all the time,

1:29:55.800 --> 1:29:57.960
<v Speaker 2>I hope. But it's just if this is just a

1:29:58.040 --> 1:30:03.479
<v Speaker 2>reminder that really time does heal things, or it gives

1:30:03.520 --> 1:30:06.840
<v Speaker 2>you the ability to separate yourself and to see them

1:30:07.000 --> 1:30:10.400
<v Speaker 2>and be able to have these conversations without spiraling, Like

1:30:10.840 --> 1:30:13.160
<v Speaker 2>like I'm not gonna get off the mic right now

1:30:13.320 --> 1:30:15.560
<v Speaker 2>and like overthink any of this shit too much, you

1:30:15.640 --> 1:30:17.559
<v Speaker 2>know what I mean, Like, I'm not going to cry

1:30:17.600 --> 1:30:19.280
<v Speaker 2>about it like I would have like eight years ago.

1:30:19.479 --> 1:30:21.280
<v Speaker 2>Oh like no, it's just not.

1:30:21.560 --> 1:30:24.919
<v Speaker 1>It's just it just was. It's just this whole episode

1:30:25.000 --> 1:30:28.040
<v Speaker 1>for me is just because even even listening to your story,

1:30:28.200 --> 1:30:29.519
<v Speaker 1>like I can, I can go on my mind and

1:30:29.720 --> 1:30:33.679
<v Speaker 1>envision you, like going over treatments and flirting with your boss,

1:30:33.960 --> 1:30:35.960
<v Speaker 1>you know, like I you know, like in a way,

1:30:36.200 --> 1:30:37.800
<v Speaker 1>that's what even though we're not like if if you

1:30:37.840 --> 1:30:40.160
<v Speaker 1>read a book, we'd imagine it, but even it's taking

1:30:40.240 --> 1:30:42.960
<v Speaker 1>me back to these places and these feelings and who

1:30:43.080 --> 1:30:45.559
<v Speaker 1>I was, and it is I'm grateful to have grown,

1:30:45.720 --> 1:30:47.479
<v Speaker 1>and it's interesting to see the parts of me that

1:30:47.640 --> 1:30:47.920
<v Speaker 1>have not.

1:30:49.560 --> 1:30:49.720
<v Speaker 7>Right.

1:30:50.040 --> 1:30:55.800
<v Speaker 1>And yeah, I feel like we've jumped into a time

1:30:56.120 --> 1:30:58.520
<v Speaker 1>machine and went to two thousand.

1:30:58.160 --> 1:31:01.479
<v Speaker 2>And six and I'm ready to be back quarantining because

1:31:01.640 --> 1:31:03.880
<v Speaker 2>I don't want to be back in my time machine.

1:31:04.520 --> 1:31:07.080
<v Speaker 1>So let's get back in this bitch, go back in

1:31:07.160 --> 1:31:08.639
<v Speaker 1>twenty twenty where we're quarantine.

1:31:11.200 --> 1:31:15.519
<v Speaker 2>Oh, everything's still here on my couch. I'm still here,

1:31:15.680 --> 1:31:17.000
<v Speaker 2>still wearing a mask, and gloves.

1:31:17.120 --> 1:31:17.840
<v Speaker 1>Okay, so.

1:31:19.640 --> 1:31:24.000
<v Speaker 2>Thanks for joining us on our time travel and Happy

1:31:24.080 --> 1:31:27.960
<v Speaker 2>April Fool's Day, and make sure to rate and review

1:31:28.040 --> 1:31:29.360
<v Speaker 2>us on Apple Podcasts.

1:31:30.600 --> 1:31:32.599
<v Speaker 1>Scroll all the way down to the bottom and find

1:31:32.640 --> 1:31:34.680
<v Speaker 1>where it says yeah, the shit is confusing, so just

1:31:34.720 --> 1:31:35.280
<v Speaker 1>don't give up.

1:31:35.520 --> 1:31:37.800
<v Speaker 2>Just scrow all the way down. Do it for us, please,

1:31:37.920 --> 1:31:39.160
<v Speaker 2>because reviews really do matter.

1:31:39.280 --> 1:31:42.280
<v Speaker 1>And if you like our podcasts, tell a friend and

1:31:42.840 --> 1:31:43.439
<v Speaker 1>tell Apple.

1:31:45.200 --> 1:31:48.920
<v Speaker 2>You can also watch all of these videos on our Patreon,

1:31:49.720 --> 1:31:53.040
<v Speaker 2>and we also have some extra bonus episodes on Patreon

1:31:53.160 --> 1:31:56.000
<v Speaker 2>that you can't find anywhere else. We have some sex

1:31:56.080 --> 1:31:58.680
<v Speaker 2>positions one oh one that you don't want to miss

1:31:58.720 --> 1:32:01.240
<v Speaker 2>out on, so go to You.

1:32:01.320 --> 1:32:03.519
<v Speaker 1>Can't just go to Patreon and type us in because

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<v Speaker 1>we're explicit. You have to go to patreon dot com

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<v Speaker 1>backslash Good Mom's Bad Choices to find us, and yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>there's extra content that you won't get anywhere else. And

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<v Speaker 2>And we will see you next week.

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<v Speaker 9>Have a great week.

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<v Speaker 3>Bye,