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Speaker 1: Puts up you guys.

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Speaker 2: This week's episode is kind of deep, a little bit,

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Speaker 2: gets a little bit emotional, just giving you guys a

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Speaker 2: warning before you know.

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Speaker 3: We dive in.

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Speaker 1: We are diving and there's a confession.

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Speaker 2: Basically one of us has been keeping a secret and

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Speaker 2: I didn't even know, well whatever one of us got

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Speaker 2: back together with our ex I just wanted to give

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Speaker 2: you guys a warning because.

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Speaker 1: Shit gets real April folds fuck out of here.

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Speaker 2: But what we did do is interview our exes. So yeah,

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Speaker 2: jump in our time machine.

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Speaker 1: And take a walk down memory lane.

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Speaker 2: We find out who the fuck we were back then.

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Speaker 2: And if you have any confessions that you want to confess,

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Speaker 2: make sure you call our hotline that is eight one

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Speaker 2: eight mom zero one five four. Don't be scared.

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Speaker 1: You can remain anonymous if you stated on the on

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Speaker 1: the voicemail, just like our exes.

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Speaker 2: Just like our exes, call your Welcome back to Good

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Speaker 2: Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica and I'm Nila. Happy home day.

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Speaker 1: Hello.

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Speaker 2: How's everyone doing out there in our quarantine world?

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Speaker 1: How is everybody doing? Honestly, I have been doing. I've

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Speaker 1: been going in and out of doing fine. And also

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Speaker 1: on the rigid depression. So it just, you know, just

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Speaker 1: depends what you ask me. How about you same?

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Speaker 2: You know, I go through days where I'm like, you

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Speaker 2: know what, I'm so glad I'm home. I need to

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Speaker 2: be home, connect with my kid because you know, you know,

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Speaker 2: I'm always gone and shit. But and I'm like, I'm connected.

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Speaker 2: I very i've connected or connected. She's part of me.

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Speaker 2: I'm part of her in now space. But I mean,

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Speaker 2: you know, I think it really helps that I don't

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Speaker 2: watch the news because it helps, and like people send

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Speaker 2: me shit, like you sent me something out yesterday. I

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Speaker 2: didn't open it. I don't like it might be bad

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Speaker 2: because I'm not in the know of everything that's happening.

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Speaker 3: That's better.

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Speaker 2: But then also I feel like, also I don't have

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Speaker 2: a wave of hysteria, like of course it's weird. I

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Speaker 2: went to the grocery store the other day and everyone

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Speaker 2: had masks on, and it felt like I was in

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Speaker 2: a weird movie. But in which that was like what

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Speaker 2: freaked me out? I was like, is this my new normal?

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Speaker 2: But I think also because and I don't want to

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Speaker 2: be insensitive, I'm not being insensitive. I just it hasn't

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Speaker 2: touched me. Yet you know, Corona, and so I knock

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Speaker 2: on wood. So it just almost it's not that it

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Speaker 2: doesn't seem real.

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Speaker 1: It's just like.

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Speaker 2: I don't know, it's just I'm being it's not personal.

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Speaker 2: It's not personal, and I don't not I don't want to.

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Speaker 2: I don't want there to be a yet I need

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Speaker 2: to say that right now.

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Speaker 1: But I've been praying lap just about like protecting my family,

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Speaker 1: my people, my people's people, just because I know it

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Speaker 1: is rapidly spreading and I know it's real, but again same,

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Speaker 1: I don't know anybody personally affected by it. So I've

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Speaker 1: just been trying to like keep my head clear and

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Speaker 1: just pray for the people around me and for my

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Speaker 1: family and my friends and myself and just to stay protected.

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Speaker 2: And at this point, I just feel like that's all

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Speaker 2: we can do.

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Speaker 1: And also sometimes I go into these deep thoughts about

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Speaker 1: how we need to get some anti viral herbs up

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Speaker 1: our immune system, what herbs that we need to do

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Speaker 1: that every day, and I just think this.

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Speaker 3: Is the time.

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Speaker 2: Well, I've just been I've been so much more mindful

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Speaker 2: of my health me too. Yeah, Like I routine taking

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Speaker 2: so many vitamins every day. I've been like working out.

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Speaker 2: I've been just you know, been like I feel like

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Speaker 2: I'm like nesting, like you know when they say you're

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Speaker 2: like when you're like when you're pregnant. Like I've been

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Speaker 2: like reorganizing shit in my house, like getting rid of shit.

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Speaker 2: So I don't know. I mean, I feel like there's good,

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Speaker 2: there's bad. Obviously, there's a lot of bad. A lot

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Speaker 2: of people are have lost their lives and a lot

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Speaker 2: of people are being affected. I just I don't really know.

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Speaker 2: I don't I don't understand how this is gonna actually end.

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Speaker 1: Well, that's what That's what I'm really scared of, as

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Speaker 1: far as our economy goes, and just how this is

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Speaker 1: actually gonna end, Like when we come up out of this,

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Speaker 1: what is the state of the world. I don't think

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Speaker 1: we're gonna I don't. I don't hate to say this,

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Speaker 1: but I don't think the world is gonna be how

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Speaker 1: we once knew it.

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Speaker 2: I hope not, though, I mean, because I do feel

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Speaker 2: like we're a society that, like things affect us for

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Speaker 2: like a few days, and then we move on, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and then it's over and we're back to like our

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Speaker 2: regular scheduled programming, And I really hope that that's not

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Speaker 2: the case with this, Like I hope that people are

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Speaker 2: more mindful. I hope that people are more cleanly. I

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Speaker 2: hope that people are more connected and really realize that

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Speaker 2: we are all in this together, in this life together,

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Speaker 2: and then we all are connected. And it's also kind

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Speaker 2: of scary too, like even in business, so I think

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Speaker 2: about like my my company, and like thinking about other

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Speaker 2: businesses that are been drastically affected by this, like the

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Speaker 2: idea that okay, like we've you have to adapt to

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Speaker 2: what's happening, and now like do we really Companies are

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Speaker 2: gonna start thinking do I really need these employees?

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Speaker 1: No, that's what's gonna happen.

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Speaker 2: Good do I do? I can? I just do everything?

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Speaker 2: AI They're gonna know what what?

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Speaker 3: What?

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Speaker 1: What positions are more or essential and not potential and

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Speaker 1: then have the you know, the means to let them

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Speaker 1: go because they've they've we've done it for three months

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Speaker 1: or whatever the fuck this is gonna be. Honestly, I

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Speaker 1: don't want to talk about it. Okay 's not okay, Honestly,

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Speaker 1: I'm over it. Like we're in the house. We know why,

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Speaker 1: Let's just be in the house. Let's just do what

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Speaker 1: we could do in the house be the best people,

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Speaker 1: which I'm realizing, like I'm just gonna have be the

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Speaker 1: best person I could be in the house, and maybe

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Speaker 1: when this ship is over, I'll be a better person overall,

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Speaker 1: because it is hard for me to focus and remember

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Speaker 1: to do shit. So now I don't have a choice

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Speaker 1: stay on schedule. I gotta do shit. I gotta fucking

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Speaker 1: monitor our kid teacher, blah blah blah.

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Speaker 2: What I will say in this time of in the house,

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Speaker 2: I've had a lot of self reflecting, and you know,

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Speaker 2: over the obviously our podcast is generally self reflecting. We've

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Speaker 2: done a few episodes about uh, you know, men are

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Speaker 2: still hoes? Or turning a hoe into a can we be?

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Speaker 2: Can you turn a hoe into a housewife? Or is

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Speaker 2: our podcast running our love life? You know, a lot

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Speaker 2: of reflecting on who we are as people that are

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Speaker 2: in the dating world, like who we were with our

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Speaker 2: baby daddies and who we were before then and Njamilave,

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Speaker 2: we're talking about our exes and we came up with

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Speaker 2: this great idea and so that's just that's what our

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Speaker 2: episode is going to be about.

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Speaker 1: Today.

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Speaker 2: We decided that we wanted to interview our exes to

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Speaker 2: kind of get perspective on what it is like to

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Speaker 2: date us, I mean, what it was like to date us, because.

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Speaker 1: Honestly, like these exes are from a long time there,

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Speaker 1: from a.

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Speaker 2: Long time ago, and it it'd be interesting to see

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Speaker 2: like the growth and also.

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Speaker 1: Who they thought their perception of us, And just honestly,

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Speaker 1: you only get our perception of.

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Speaker 2: Us from us.

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Speaker 1: So here's not an opportunity for us not only to

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Speaker 1: hear someone else's perception that we were once intimate with

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Speaker 1: a long time ago, but also for you to get

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Speaker 1: the perception of us from someone else, because all you

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Speaker 1: get is from us.

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Speaker 2: Wear the bomb and also like the type of people

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Speaker 2: we dated then, yeah, and who we were then.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. So what let's get started. I feel like I'm

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Speaker 1: on YouTube. I feel like when the kids a watch YouTube.

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Speaker 1: But like, hey, guys, let's get started.

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Speaker 2: Well do you want to give So we're gonna call

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Speaker 2: Jamila's ex first, So do you want to give a

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Speaker 2: little backstory quickly? By the way, I'm really excited for

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Speaker 2: Jamila's X because you know, I've, as you guys know,

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Speaker 2: I've really gotten to know Jamila through the podcast or

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Speaker 2: maybe you don't know.

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Speaker 1: But me and.

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Speaker 2: Jamila, like we're not close friends before we started this podcast,

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Speaker 2: and now obviously we're best sties and you know, we're

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Speaker 2: up each other's ass all day. But I only know

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Speaker 2: Jamila to have dated men, you know, I only known

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Speaker 2: her with I don't even really I didn't even really

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Speaker 2: know her with her baby daddy was like the exit

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Speaker 2: out and then the residual you know, bullshit that's you know,

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Speaker 2: taken place over the last two years. But I don't

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Speaker 2: know you as a lesbian, and so I am just

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Speaker 2: really interested to know what that was, like who.

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Speaker 1: She is, well, I mean, okay, most of my long

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Speaker 1: term relationships, most of my relationships in general have been

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Speaker 1: with women. I've only had two boyfriends, my baby daddy

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Speaker 1: from high school, my high school sweetheart, and young Bay,

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Speaker 1: which was like a long distance relationship I guess at

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Speaker 1: this point a year ago or two years ago. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: most of my relationships and like living with people, I

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Speaker 1: mean like have been with women. And when I was

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Speaker 1: living in Atlanta and college, I was a hardcorel lesbian

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Speaker 1: for like a solid four or five years. So this

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Speaker 1: is my very first girlfriend. She went to Spellman, I

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Speaker 1: went to Clark. They're both in the you see in Atlanta.

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Speaker 1: And I always knew I liked girls even when I

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Speaker 1: was young, Like I had one girl that I grew

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Speaker 1: up with and I liked and she was kind of

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Speaker 1: like time boyish. So I like to date like studs

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Speaker 1: almost the like pretty kind of soft stud studs if

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Speaker 1: you don't know if that's like such a lesbian term.

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Speaker 1: There's like a butch girl and a femme is a

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Speaker 1: feminine girl that would be like me. And then there's

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Speaker 1: a stem, which is like a stem, a stem it's

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Speaker 1: like a stud, but like a soft stud, I know, yeah.

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Speaker 1: And then there's an age, which is like you could

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Speaker 1: be a feminine girl, but you're aggressive. So you're like,

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Speaker 1: I may look feminine, but I'm the aggressor in the relationship.

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Speaker 1: So anyway, this is my first girlfriend.

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Speaker 4: What were you?

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Speaker 2: I'm a fem Okay, not a stem and not a

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Speaker 2: stem or of ag? A stem? What does AG stand for?

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Speaker 1: Aggressive?

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Speaker 3: Oh?

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Speaker 1: Like an aggressive aggressive girl?

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Speaker 2: Yes, so I'm gonna.

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Speaker 1: Call her right now because she has shit to do

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Speaker 1: and we've been trying to do this.

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Speaker 2: For a week and okay, but uh is she remaining anonymous?

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Speaker 2: Her name or I don't.

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Speaker 1: Think she cares, but I'll ask her when she gets

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Speaker 1: on the phone. I don't know if I said it already,

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Speaker 1: but she was my first girlfriend in college. I saw her,

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Speaker 1: I was like, I like her, She's gonna be my girlfriend.

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Speaker 2: And then she was, so, you're sure you're not an ag?

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Speaker 2: I may be an age honestly. So here, let's give

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Speaker 2: her a call and see her.

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Speaker 1: I was going to give you a background on what happened,

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Speaker 1: but let's just see where her what her perspective is

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Speaker 1: before I blast myself.

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Speaker 5: Wait, it's okay, this bitch bitter.

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Speaker 1: Hi, it's me. It's me La.

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Speaker 2: Are you ready?

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Speaker 1: Are you ready to participate? Paid in the good Mom's

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Speaker 1: bad Choices? Questions for the exis? I just made that up.

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Speaker 3: Okay, don gotta sound good.

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Speaker 2: Okay, this is Erica's gonna ask you some questions.

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Speaker 1: She doesn't know my lesbian side, and she's very curious

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Speaker 1: to explore our relationship from ten years ago? Rights longer?

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Speaker 3: Did it? Was it longer than I? Oh? I guess

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Speaker 3: it's like twelve years ago.

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Speaker 1: Yes, it was tough ASO.

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Speaker 2: I was like, I was like, actually eighteen dang, she's

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Speaker 2: a baby.

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Speaker 6: Baby exact baby, I had like turned twenty one. I

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Speaker 6: turned twenty one, like I went to before, So.

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Speaker 2: You're older than that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah definitely.

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Speaker 2: So tell me how you guys met the short version

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Speaker 2: I was there.

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Speaker 6: I was at the dorms, in her dorms because I

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Speaker 6: stayed off campus and my homie lived in her dormitory

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Speaker 6: and we was going to like the gay club that night.

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Speaker 6: And I went to the computer lab and I was like,

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Speaker 6: anybody wanted to go to gay club?

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Speaker 3: And guess who was like me?

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Speaker 1: That sounds about the same, And yeah, I.

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Speaker 6: Was like one of it was a lot of people

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Speaker 6: that had a car at that talked. Most of my

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Speaker 6: I had transferred.

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Speaker 1: From this is wait, wait guys, this is my smart

254
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Speaker 1: girlfriend who's the scientist and she's a biology major and

255
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Speaker 1: she went to Spellman, so yeah, this is this is

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Speaker 1: my bragging rights girlfriend.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. So yeah, so I pretty much was like the

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Speaker 3: transportation clerk for everybody.

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Speaker 6: She was the older the club, and uh, you.

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Speaker 3: Know she was that was it?

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Speaker 2: Did she fun on the first date?

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Speaker 3: No?

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Speaker 7: No?

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Speaker 2: Oh wow surprising.

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Speaker 1: I'm rather surprised myself.

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Speaker 2: Did you know when you how long? When was it?

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Speaker 2: When was it that you knew that you guys had

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Speaker 2: some sort of like attraction tour to each other and

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Speaker 2: that you know you you were actually going to start

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Speaker 2: dating or did it just kind of happen.

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Speaker 3: Dang?

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Speaker 6: I mean I guess I just like assumed it was

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Speaker 6: interested in when she wanted to go to the day club,

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Speaker 6: and so that's really all.

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Speaker 4: I'll go ahead.

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Speaker 3: I don't need it. I didn't care she was like

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Speaker 3: girls or not?

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Speaker 2: Did she did she make the first move?

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Speaker 3: I would say, I would say.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah she did.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I had plotted on her.

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Speaker 2: I knew that.

283
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Speaker 1: I was like, she's gonna be my girlfriend. I don't

284
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Speaker 1: know who that bitch is there? But there was another girl,

285
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Speaker 1: no her, Chris, Did I say her name? Do you

286
00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:41,120
Speaker 1: care if you say your name?

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Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know. I guess people. I don't know.

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Speaker 3: It's fun with me.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Well I said it, Chris. Oh yeah, I saw

290
00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:53,240
Speaker 1: her and I was like, Oh, that's gonna be my girlfriend.

291
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Speaker 1: She's cute. And so that day she she wandered her

292
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Speaker 1: ass in the computer lab.

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Speaker 2: When I was there, I was like bathing perfect. Basically

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Speaker 2: I plotted on her. So tell me about your relationship, Like,

295
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Speaker 2: did you guys you know what was what.

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Speaker 3: Was? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Like, what was like?

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Speaker 2: So Jamila just ran us down like a list of

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Speaker 2: like what the different like lesbian like I said to

300
00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:26,760
Speaker 2: them like studs, stems, fems ags. I just yeah, what

301
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Speaker 2: would you what would you say Jamila falls under?

302
00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:34,520
Speaker 1: Okay, I told you that's what she said.

303
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Speaker 2: I said, I think you're like AG.

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00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:37,720
Speaker 1: She said I was? She said, what about a G?

305
00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:42,400
Speaker 1: I entertained that I was maybe an AG for some time?

306
00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:47,560
Speaker 1: Really yeah, uh huh? Well what do you think you are?

307
00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:48,479
Speaker 1: Are you?

308
00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:48,600
Speaker 2: Are you?

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Speaker 1: What do you consider yourself?

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Speaker 3: I would probably say, I guess like in your in

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Speaker 3: your spectrum? Are you think that you think like A

312
00:15:57,200 --> 00:16:01,760
Speaker 3: or more more like and stuff? Or what is your spectrum? Oh?

313
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Speaker 1: I don't know.

314
00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:06,359
Speaker 2: I guess everyone has a different interpret soft.

315
00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:09,720
Speaker 6: Stood, which is like I'm not like super masculine, so

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00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:12,840
Speaker 6: definitely not but which I guess it's the max the

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00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:14,960
Speaker 6: max like the most meskline be.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, what's the most masculine?

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00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:20,480
Speaker 1: You could be stud but butch okay, so it's butch

320
00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:22,680
Speaker 1: then stud then then soft stud.

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Speaker 6: I don't like a soft study, so that's still no.

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00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:29,040
Speaker 3: I don't wearing girl clothes.

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00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:33,680
Speaker 2: Okay, so what is stem girl you don't wear cloth like.

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00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:36,360
Speaker 3: It stay okay with like be kind of versatile.

325
00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:38,640
Speaker 2: Like you can wear boy clothes sometimes and sometimes I

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00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:39,240
Speaker 2: wear like.

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00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:41,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, or they might wear like girl pants and like

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Speaker 3: big shirt.

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00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:43,720
Speaker 2: So what do you wear?

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Speaker 4: I wear?

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Speaker 2: Okay? So what was the hardest thing about dating Jamila?

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00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:58,160
Speaker 3: How you guess you're just curious about like everything?

333
00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:01,000
Speaker 2: What do you mean?

334
00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:03,640
Speaker 6: I think like curiously about like the lifestyle. And so

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00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:06,000
Speaker 6: it was like for me, I guess I was I

336
00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:10,159
Speaker 6: was like wanting to be in like a dedicated, like

337
00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:15,000
Speaker 6: relationship scenario. And I think that once she got into

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00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:19,240
Speaker 6: like like the lesbian lifestyle, she wanted to explore like everything.

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00:17:20,119 --> 00:17:22,840
Speaker 2: Like did she want to explore with you? Or she

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00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:26,800
Speaker 2: just wanted to kind of her you know people, did

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00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:28,000
Speaker 2: you mean a cheat on you?

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00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:30,160
Speaker 3: For sure? No?

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00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:32,600
Speaker 2: I didn't.

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00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:34,520
Speaker 1: Definitely No, I didn't.

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00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:38,000
Speaker 2: We broke up and then I cheated. That's not cheating.

346
00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:44,199
Speaker 1: Broke up and then I met somebody else. I think, No,

347
00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:47,399
Speaker 1: I don't think that's just shut up.

348
00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:50,600
Speaker 2: So what happened? So what happened? Tell me when was

349
00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:54,080
Speaker 2: the what happened? Exactly? What I mean? You're in your memory.

350
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:57,320
Speaker 3: Like completely psarchotic in college, I'm happy.

351
00:17:57,359 --> 00:18:00,320
Speaker 1: You acknowledged that, but who was Like I can tell

352
00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:02,000
Speaker 1: the truth, okay, if you can announce your TD.

353
00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:05,000
Speaker 2: But you you were psychotic in college?

354
00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:10,960
Speaker 6: Yeah, controlling, not like in patrolling in a bad way.

355
00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:12,639
Speaker 6: But I just needed to know, like what she do?

356
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:17,159
Speaker 6: Like all the time, I was crazy, Like how long?

357
00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:19,440
Speaker 2: How long did you guys date?

358
00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:21,960
Speaker 3: It was like four months?

359
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:26,840
Speaker 2: It was like first semester September to December.

360
00:18:28,720 --> 00:18:31,240
Speaker 3: It was so short. It was like so much happening

361
00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:33,720
Speaker 3: in a small period of time. It was like so dramatic.

362
00:18:34,119 --> 00:18:35,160
Speaker 1: It was very dramatic.

363
00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:39,040
Speaker 2: Go ahead, wait, wait, I'm not done yet. Would you

364
00:18:39,359 --> 00:18:44,640
Speaker 2: would you say that you loved Jamila for sure? Did

365
00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:45,400
Speaker 2: she break your heart?

366
00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:47,199
Speaker 3: Definitely?

367
00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:50,120
Speaker 2: How did you break your heart?

368
00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:52,080
Speaker 3: Guess?

369
00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:54,560
Speaker 6: I thought that she felt the same way I did

370
00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:59,720
Speaker 6: at the time, and when you know, things took a

371
00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:02,720
Speaker 6: turn for the worst, like she really wasn't like trying

372
00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:05,160
Speaker 6: to fight for a relationship, just like Okay, well.

373
00:19:05,119 --> 00:19:06,720
Speaker 3: This is just another person that wants to feel me,

374
00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:07,960
Speaker 3: so I'm just gonna be at them.

375
00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:12,520
Speaker 2: Oh so she left you for someone else, basically that's

376
00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:16,200
Speaker 2: how I feel. So then how did what did you

377
00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:18,359
Speaker 2: how did your relationship? Like, did you guys maintain a

378
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:20,440
Speaker 2: really like, would you guys talk after that or when

379
00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:20,920
Speaker 2: it was over?

380
00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:22,639
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're just doing the most.

381
00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:23,840
Speaker 1: Oh my god.

382
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:25,960
Speaker 2: And when you said that is remembered all the most

383
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:26,520
Speaker 2: that we.

384
00:19:26,359 --> 00:19:27,960
Speaker 1: Were actually doing what was the most?

385
00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:32,200
Speaker 3: Did everything that people do in a relationship. That's my relationship.

386
00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:33,160
Speaker 2: That called police.

387
00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:35,640
Speaker 1: Actually that happened once.

388
00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:39,720
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, that No, that definitely happened. It happened when

389
00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:42,160
Speaker 6: when I guess I thought we were still together, we wasn't.

390
00:19:43,119 --> 00:19:45,920
Speaker 2: You thought we were still together, but we weren't together, right.

391
00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:47,960
Speaker 3: I get. I know, I wasn't aware.

392
00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:49,720
Speaker 2: I guess there was some great area there.

393
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:52,120
Speaker 6: Maybe I was broken up up with at the time

394
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:52,760
Speaker 6: because I thought we.

395
00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:59,560
Speaker 2: Didn't do Would you say that Jamila's communication is like

396
00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:03,119
Speaker 2: clear or unclear when it comes to relationships, because it

397
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,399
Speaker 2: sounds like you thought you guys were in a relationship

398
00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:07,359
Speaker 2: and she didn't.

399
00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:09,800
Speaker 6: I just think that she is going to do her

400
00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:12,119
Speaker 6: own thing, Like I don't know if it was a

401
00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:13,160
Speaker 6: communication thing.

402
00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:14,919
Speaker 3: I think like it was so she just didn't want

403
00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:15,160
Speaker 3: to tell.

404
00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:17,960
Speaker 2: Was she the first girl you ever had sex with?

405
00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:20,000
Speaker 1: No, she wasn't the first girl I've had sex with,

406
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:22,679
Speaker 1: But she was the first girl that I was like

407
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:25,000
Speaker 1: officially ever in a like was my girlfriend?

408
00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:28,080
Speaker 2: And then so how did you tell your family? Like

409
00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:30,199
Speaker 2: how did you guys introduce your families? Like how did

410
00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:30,600
Speaker 2: that happen?

411
00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:34,359
Speaker 1: Well, I'm always been always like a very unapologetic person,

412
00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:37,679
Speaker 1: and maybe to my fault of mine.

413
00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:38,560
Speaker 2: But I was.

414
00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:40,639
Speaker 1: We were only together like four or five months, but

415
00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:42,520
Speaker 1: she came home with me for Christmas.

416
00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:44,639
Speaker 2: Break, like all three weeks. I was like, this is

417
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:45,399
Speaker 2: my girlfriend.

418
00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:50,040
Speaker 1: I'm a lesbian now and uh yeah, everybody, hey, what's up?

419
00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:55,080
Speaker 1: She met she met my baby daddy, she met my

420
00:20:55,119 --> 00:20:57,480
Speaker 1: baby daddy.

421
00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:59,960
Speaker 2: My mom, my dad, My mom was like, no, my mom.

422
00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:02,680
Speaker 1: My mom liked her because she was a biology major

423
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:04,400
Speaker 1: and so was my mom, and she went to Spelman.

424
00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:06,680
Speaker 1: It was it was very odd because my second girlfriend,

425
00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:08,280
Speaker 1: she was not feeling. She was like, why does she

426
00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:09,560
Speaker 1: have to sleep in the room with you? I'm like,

427
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:12,399
Speaker 1: what are you talking about? So Chris. Everybody liked Chris.

428
00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:16,320
Speaker 1: She liked Bobby, like you know what, Like there was

429
00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:19,080
Speaker 1: no steps. I didn't break my family and I had

430
00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:20,840
Speaker 1: called them a couple of times to tell them now

431
00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:23,320
Speaker 1: I'm a lesbian. And then I'm like, now we're coming home.

432
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:24,800
Speaker 1: And that was really much shit.

433
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:31,679
Speaker 3: Yeah, so yeah, wait, I wait home. It was Christmas

434
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:36,040
Speaker 3: and then like bye damn February broken up.

435
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:40,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was February and I I fucked up. I

436
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:46,199
Speaker 1: had somebody in my dorm room and Chris. I had

437
00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:48,760
Speaker 1: met a girl at the club, and because I became

438
00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:52,919
Speaker 1: obsessed at the gay club. She's right, and then and

439
00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:55,719
Speaker 1: then I brought her to my dorm room because for

440
00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:57,800
Speaker 1: some reason, I was under impression and we were broken up.

441
00:21:57,840 --> 00:21:58,280
Speaker 8: She was not.

442
00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:01,119
Speaker 1: And I locked in my door dorm room door, but

443
00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:04,120
Speaker 1: we had like a joint bathroom between another room, and

444
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:08,800
Speaker 1: Chris here came through the other room through the bathroom, oh,

445
00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:12,840
Speaker 1: and walked in on me and this other girl maked yep,

446
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:14,040
Speaker 1: and then what happened.

447
00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:16,320
Speaker 3: It was what did you do?

448
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:20,560
Speaker 6: I basically sucked up the whole entire room, everything that

449
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:23,560
Speaker 6: was in there, tried to beat the girl up.

450
00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:24,520
Speaker 3: It was it was a lot.

451
00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:28,760
Speaker 1: She she threw a metal chair into my dorm mirror

452
00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:31,919
Speaker 1: and it like broke, like I think.

453
00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:36,080
Speaker 3: The actual the other mirror. She's like, got arrested. You

454
00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:38,800
Speaker 3: got arrested my campus police.

455
00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:43,200
Speaker 1: A campus police came, which is what what psycho lesbians

456
00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:47,120
Speaker 1: are generally psycho but she broke I had the new

457
00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:49,200
Speaker 1: Robin six CD I think she had given me.

458
00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:54,520
Speaker 2: She broke it in the hat. Oh you remember that specifically?

459
00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:59,320
Speaker 2: Was it Robin saying maybe phone? Oh you broke my phone?

460
00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:00,280
Speaker 2: Oh wow, you.

461
00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:02,240
Speaker 6: Were good at the had that was like part of

462
00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:04,520
Speaker 6: the stipulations of me. I had to like buy you

463
00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:05,240
Speaker 6: a new phone.

464
00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:07,120
Speaker 1: Did you buy me a new phone?

465
00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:07,920
Speaker 3: Yeah?

466
00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:10,680
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, because I remember I was a brazer. I

467
00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:12,040
Speaker 1: remember those Motorola razors.

468
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:14,480
Speaker 6: And I grabbed it and I like slammed it on

469
00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:16,679
Speaker 6: on the ground in your room and broke it into pieces.

470
00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:19,800
Speaker 6: And like the stipulation for you, like not the charges

471
00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:21,480
Speaker 6: was I had to buy you a new phone, and

472
00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:24,400
Speaker 6: I had to go to like anger management on campus

473
00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:25,399
Speaker 6: for like two months.

474
00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:27,760
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I didn't know this. I didn't go

475
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:29,080
Speaker 1: to management that way.

476
00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:30,919
Speaker 3: And then it worked allow me and I couldn't go

477
00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:32,200
Speaker 3: with your anymore.

478
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:34,200
Speaker 2: Oh oh my god.

479
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:35,560
Speaker 1: Were you sneaking in at one point?

480
00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:38,439
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're in the back to go here on my friends.

481
00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:40,840
Speaker 1: I think I was helping you sneak in because I

482
00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:42,720
Speaker 1: lived I lived by the exit, and I felt bad

483
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:43,960
Speaker 1: kind of well, yeah, you would like.

484
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:46,880
Speaker 6: Me sneaking like for but after that it wasn't really

485
00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:49,000
Speaker 6: that cool. It for a back too, like a few months,

486
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:49,959
Speaker 6: I guess, still like the summer.

487
00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:51,520
Speaker 2: We weren't cool for a while.

488
00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:54,280
Speaker 1: But then this is let me just let you into

489
00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:57,480
Speaker 1: my sneaky horrishness. We weren't cool for a while, and

490
00:23:57,520 --> 00:23:59,280
Speaker 1: I say it, I started dating.

491
00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:01,639
Speaker 2: Oh but you know, I started dating the other girl.

492
00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:05,200
Speaker 1: And when the other girl started getting on my nerves

493
00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:08,800
Speaker 1: because she did, I started calling Chris and I was staying.

494
00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:10,160
Speaker 2: I had moved off a campus.

495
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:11,760
Speaker 1: It was the summer, and I moved in with the

496
00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:14,080
Speaker 1: girl and her parents, and then I was getting tired

497
00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:16,120
Speaker 1: of her and I would have Chris sneak and come

498
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:20,719
Speaker 1: get me while she was at work from the girl's

499
00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:25,439
Speaker 1: mom's house. And even one time, oh my god, this

500
00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:28,080
Speaker 1: is so bad. Even at one time me and Chris

501
00:24:28,119 --> 00:24:31,919
Speaker 1: went on a getaway. We went with We went on

502
00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:36,720
Speaker 1: a weekend vacation and I had my girlfriend who was.

503
00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:37,640
Speaker 2: I cheated on her.

504
00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:39,840
Speaker 1: Wait, the girlfriend she beat up in my dorm room

505
00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:42,159
Speaker 1: dropped me off at a gas station. I told her

506
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:43,560
Speaker 1: I was going to stay at my cousin's house, who

507
00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:47,120
Speaker 1: lived in Georgia, and then Chris picked me up from

508
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:51,159
Speaker 1: the gas station and then we went on like a

509
00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:53,639
Speaker 1: weekend get away like at a cabin or something.

510
00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:58,639
Speaker 2: Oh my god, So Chris, what would you say is

511
00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:05,920
Speaker 2: Jamila's worst trade our worst trait?

512
00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:07,199
Speaker 3: I don't know.

513
00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:09,399
Speaker 6: I think it's maybe like not knowing like when to

514
00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:12,560
Speaker 6: turn like to turn it and turn it down, like

515
00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:13,520
Speaker 6: turn turned.

516
00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:17,439
Speaker 2: Down, turn turned down in what way? Like party or

517
00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:19,399
Speaker 2: just like or just like sit down and be in

518
00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:20,880
Speaker 2: a relationship like settle down.

519
00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:23,400
Speaker 3: I mean, there's her point, you know what I'm saying.

520
00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:25,359
Speaker 6: We used to go out and we'd be on club

521
00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:27,280
Speaker 6: like together it like okay, maybe you were getting a

522
00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:29,240
Speaker 6: little bud when you not when you out your friends

523
00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:30,320
Speaker 6: without like yours.

524
00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:33,159
Speaker 3: We'll be together and she'll be like humping on on

525
00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:36,720
Speaker 3: all these people, and like I'm like, what like the

526
00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:38,560
Speaker 3: person a person asking a relationship.

527
00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:40,280
Speaker 6: I don't know if she like she knows how to

528
00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:43,119
Speaker 6: turn off that like okay, now you're like with somebody

529
00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:45,520
Speaker 6: so like a certain little my respect, you know what

530
00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:46,040
Speaker 6: I'm saying.

531
00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:48,520
Speaker 2: Okay, so she has a lack of respect.

532
00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:50,480
Speaker 7: There we go.

533
00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:53,000
Speaker 3: Let's just believe that.

534
00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:54,639
Speaker 2: That was eighteen year old and me. But I don't know,

535
00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:59,399
Speaker 2: this sounds a little similar I feel said, we're not

536
00:25:59,400 --> 00:26:04,359
Speaker 2: in a relation. I think that's not me now, but

537
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:05,440
Speaker 2: I know her eighteen.

538
00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:07,159
Speaker 3: Year old self obviously, you know, well, I.

539
00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:09,280
Speaker 2: Would say the things that I've heard about Jamila and

540
00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:11,840
Speaker 2: dating wise in the recent years that i've known her

541
00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:15,159
Speaker 2: as that that people think that she's too friendly. Her

542
00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:18,400
Speaker 2: her her men that she's dated, think that she's too friendly,

543
00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:19,920
Speaker 2: which I think.

544
00:26:20,119 --> 00:26:23,080
Speaker 3: That's that and that's pretty much yeah, that's exactly I could.

545
00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:25,240
Speaker 3: I could say that as I can say that, that's

546
00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:27,840
Speaker 3: so what a nice to put it?

547
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:29,680
Speaker 2: What's what's her best trait?

548
00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:31,960
Speaker 3: You no?

549
00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:32,680
Speaker 4: Like?

550
00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:35,400
Speaker 6: Because the thing about she's probably one of my only

551
00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:38,480
Speaker 6: exists I can hit up. You cannot talk for the

552
00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:41,199
Speaker 6: years and we'll come to the one day randomly and

553
00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:43,840
Speaker 6: we could talk for hours about like the stupidest ship

554
00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:46,840
Speaker 6: and still say the stupid jokes and we just last

555
00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:48,919
Speaker 6: they will have about the best time. And so I

556
00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:52,280
Speaker 6: feel like, you know, so if something about like her

557
00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:57,560
Speaker 6: personality just makes me feel like comfortable regardless of whatever

558
00:26:57,600 --> 00:26:59,560
Speaker 6: we've been through, like that's so old or whatever. But

559
00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:02,960
Speaker 6: I enjoyed talking to her, and I think that like

560
00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:05,399
Speaker 6: she should down the earth type of person.

561
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:12,000
Speaker 2: Would you say you guys are in sex in sync sexually, Like,

562
00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:13,440
Speaker 2: did you guys have really great sex?

563
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:14,560
Speaker 4: Oh?

564
00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:15,639
Speaker 3: Yeah, I always.

565
00:27:15,840 --> 00:27:17,840
Speaker 6: Even all my friends like I will tell like they

566
00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:20,600
Speaker 6: would we have like random conversations like what's the best

567
00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:21,160
Speaker 6: like six.

568
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:23,840
Speaker 3: Person parton you've had? And they would answer for.

569
00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:27,560
Speaker 2: I was like, I don't know, so so jamila's the

570
00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:28,560
Speaker 2: best sex you've ever had?

571
00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:36,560
Speaker 3: Yes, I guess, I guess. I'll say. I mean, I'm like,

572
00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:37,879
Speaker 3: I'm one right now.

573
00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:43,479
Speaker 1: But you said talking to someone right now. Basically, if

574
00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:47,080
Speaker 1: that person here is not you, we're not talking about you.

575
00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:50,920
Speaker 6: I'm sorry, but the person that I would say, yes,

576
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:53,320
Speaker 6: but before before that thing, Yeah.

577
00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:55,520
Speaker 1: I get you got to say that's to be safe.

578
00:27:57,320 --> 00:27:58,840
Speaker 1: I said, I get you gotta say that to be safe.

579
00:27:58,880 --> 00:27:59,920
Speaker 1: It's cool and I'm just kidding.

580
00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:03,800
Speaker 4: Yeah.

581
00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:09,200
Speaker 2: Uh, would you say, what did you learn from the relationship?

582
00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:16,680
Speaker 3: I think I learned how to like red flag, see

583
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:17,280
Speaker 3: red flag?

584
00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:21,879
Speaker 2: You thought you learned how to see red flags?

585
00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:24,639
Speaker 6: You know, like from the beginning, if I'm know that

586
00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:29,440
Speaker 6: this person's personality might not necessarily mess with me being

587
00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:31,560
Speaker 6: as psychotic as I am, I probably need someone that's

588
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:34,199
Speaker 6: more like the type of person that checks in or

589
00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:36,640
Speaker 6: reassures me that I'm like the only person for them.

590
00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:39,320
Speaker 6: That's the type of person I need, not a person

591
00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:40,920
Speaker 6: that's extra friendly.

592
00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:46,400
Speaker 1: Okay, we were you surprised to hear that I had

593
00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:48,320
Speaker 1: a bit like having a baby, that I was a mom?

594
00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:49,880
Speaker 1: Was that was that strange?

595
00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:50,440
Speaker 6: No?

596
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:53,520
Speaker 3: I want a surprised to hear that you got pregnant.

597
00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:56,479
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, I was probably more I was.

598
00:28:56,600 --> 00:28:57,920
Speaker 3: I didn't I thought it would be a great mom.

599
00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:01,000
Speaker 6: I mean more, I mean I didn't ever like, I

600
00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:03,000
Speaker 6: didn't ever think like you wouldn't be a good umber nothing.

601
00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:05,000
Speaker 3: I thought it was a great mom. It's just I

602
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:06,920
Speaker 3: think you're I think you're a great person, just not

603
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:09,120
Speaker 3: enough to be in a relationship.

604
00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:18,720
Speaker 2: Okay, does Jamila's because I always make fun of Jamila,

605
00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:22,280
Speaker 2: right because she always says like she's a former lesbian,

606
00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:25,160
Speaker 2: and I'm like, you can't be a former lesbian, Like

607
00:29:25,200 --> 00:29:28,360
Speaker 2: you either are a lesbian or you're not. And I

608
00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:31,680
Speaker 2: always wonder, like, do women who are actual lesbians who

609
00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:35,640
Speaker 2: do not entertain men? Is that annoying for you? Like

610
00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:39,520
Speaker 2: do you think her lack of like her like I'm

611
00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:42,719
Speaker 2: a former lesbian? I'm bye, but I'm like, does that

612
00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:45,440
Speaker 2: annoy you or was it surprising that she started dating

613
00:29:45,440 --> 00:29:45,800
Speaker 2: a man.

614
00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:48,600
Speaker 6: No, I'm not surprised at all. But I used to

615
00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:50,080
Speaker 6: have to when we were together.

616
00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:51,760
Speaker 3: I would talk to Bob young Boom.

617
00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:55,000
Speaker 2: You would talk to Bob you don't say his name,

618
00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:59,960
Speaker 2: you would talk you would, you would talk to her

619
00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:01,240
Speaker 2: baby diving on the phone.

620
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:03,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, we were together, and.

621
00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:10,400
Speaker 2: Oh wow, you really bring all of them in, don't you.

622
00:30:11,680 --> 00:30:15,360
Speaker 1: I mean Bobby, Oh god, he would never go anywhere,

623
00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:18,520
Speaker 1: he would never like. We've been friends for so long,

624
00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:21,560
Speaker 1: and she understood that. And actually, in the beginning of

625
00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:24,920
Speaker 1: our relationship, me and Chris, we were such hardcore lesbians,

626
00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:27,959
Speaker 1: or at least I was becoming such a hardcore lesbian

627
00:30:28,320 --> 00:30:30,760
Speaker 1: that she took me to like a lesbian meetup group

628
00:30:30,880 --> 00:30:32,280
Speaker 1: at Spelman.

629
00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:34,320
Speaker 2: What was it called? Do you remember Africa?

630
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:38,040
Speaker 3: They have like an Instagram page.

631
00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:39,040
Speaker 1: They do Oh my god, attack me.

632
00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:40,800
Speaker 2: So I would love to see what's going on in Afrikiti.

633
00:30:41,360 --> 00:30:44,160
Speaker 1: I don't even know why the fucking lesbian group is

634
00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:45,400
Speaker 1: called fucking Afrikiti.

635
00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:47,800
Speaker 2: But when I first went there.

636
00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:49,760
Speaker 1: I was like, well, I like, I like people, and

637
00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:52,040
Speaker 1: all the lesbians are turning their noses up at me

638
00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:54,800
Speaker 1: and saying like I was. I was like, lesbians don't

639
00:30:54,840 --> 00:30:57,080
Speaker 1: like buy girls. And then I was like crowd and

640
00:30:57,120 --> 00:30:59,000
Speaker 1: by I was like I like everybody, and they're like

641
00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:00,800
Speaker 1: she wants her can eat it too.

642
00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:04,120
Speaker 2: So Chris, she always knew what what like who I was.

643
00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:06,760
Speaker 1: It wasn't like I was in denial, even though at

644
00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:08,320
Speaker 1: one point I was like I don't need boy, I

645
00:31:08,320 --> 00:31:09,760
Speaker 1: don't need guys anymore. I'm good.

646
00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:19,280
Speaker 6: How for a minute, did you yeah, we have sex

647
00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:19,800
Speaker 6: with the strap on?

648
00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:21,320
Speaker 3: Right? Yeah?

649
00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:23,959
Speaker 1: Yeah you might.

650
00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:26,080
Speaker 2: You're the first girl who I've ever had sex with

651
00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:26,680
Speaker 2: the shtrap on?

652
00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:27,560
Speaker 1: Really?

653
00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:27,800
Speaker 7: Ye?

654
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:32,840
Speaker 2: Did you guys have three things? No?

655
00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:35,760
Speaker 1: No, no, you sound like you sound like Chris.

656
00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:37,520
Speaker 2: You don't sound like you built for three. She's not.

657
00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:41,560
Speaker 2: I'm happy you observed so quickly.

658
00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:45,920
Speaker 1: She is not learn you know what I'm saying.

659
00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:48,400
Speaker 2: I already picked you up, but I got you that.

660
00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:53,360
Speaker 2: I'm crazy. You know I'm a little bit like you. Okay, Yeah,

661
00:31:53,360 --> 00:31:55,760
Speaker 2: I don't like to share a lot?

662
00:31:56,040 --> 00:31:56,600
Speaker 3: What uh?

663
00:31:56,760 --> 00:32:02,480
Speaker 2: Okay? So two more questions. Okay, how would you describe Jamila?

664
00:32:03,360 --> 00:32:12,960
Speaker 6: I would say that she's like loving, fun, like charismatic.

665
00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:19,680
Speaker 3: It's like a happy, sneaky person.

666
00:32:23,520 --> 00:32:27,840
Speaker 2: Thank you A happy, sneaky person. Put that on your LinkedIn.

667
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:34,760
Speaker 2: I'm definitely going to And would you ever date Jamila again?

668
00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:38,400
Speaker 6: You know, we had this conversation almost all the time,

669
00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:42,440
Speaker 6: like when we have our annual conversation or once a

670
00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:46,480
Speaker 6: year talk, we talk about it. If she tells me,

671
00:32:46,520 --> 00:32:47,760
Speaker 6: you know what I'm saying, it's like, you know, like

672
00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:50,760
Speaker 6: you're get married, and you know, like it's always a

673
00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:53,920
Speaker 6: thought in my mind. But you know, I feel like

674
00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:56,160
Speaker 6: it would just be because we would.

675
00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:57,720
Speaker 3: Have so much fun, you know what I'm saying.

676
00:32:57,720 --> 00:32:59,760
Speaker 6: I don't know if it would be like something week

677
00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:01,920
Speaker 6: that could possibly be like serious.

678
00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:06,320
Speaker 1: We've never uh we uh, I'm gonna We've always had

679
00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:07,240
Speaker 1: a lot of fun together.

680
00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:09,920
Speaker 2: We always have fun. Yeah, so it's safe to say

681
00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:13,080
Speaker 2: that you don't regret the relationship now.

682
00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:14,240
Speaker 3: I think I learned a lot.

683
00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:17,520
Speaker 6: And I think it was like the relationship moved so

684
00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:20,360
Speaker 6: fast because that fore much like seemed like myself because

685
00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:21,840
Speaker 6: I feel like we was talking about get married and.

686
00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:23,840
Speaker 2: Were we talking about getting married?

687
00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:27,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was like yeah, you know, what the hell

688
00:33:27,800 --> 00:33:31,320
Speaker 3: is gonna do anyway? Like when we get married? And

689
00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:35,160
Speaker 3: so but I think that I learned a lot.

690
00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:37,800
Speaker 6: Just I think like a lot that helped me, even

691
00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:40,240
Speaker 6: though I obviously made way more mistakes going down the line,

692
00:33:40,280 --> 00:33:45,040
Speaker 6: but I learned different things about like myself and like

693
00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:47,120
Speaker 6: how serious I feel like I you know, I probably

694
00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:50,640
Speaker 6: needed to tone down, you know, how crazy I was,

695
00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:51,400
Speaker 6: which I have.

696
00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:55,440
Speaker 1: Actually, Oh that's really good to know. I'm actually way

697
00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:59,160
Speaker 1: less sneaky and more communicative these days. Oh, that's so good.

698
00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:03,080
Speaker 1: Just in case you're wonder Okay, just the case marriage

699
00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:04,280
Speaker 1: was still on the table.

700
00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:09,600
Speaker 3: Got you? Got you all right?

701
00:34:09,640 --> 00:34:13,680
Speaker 2: Well, I think I think that's did I miss anything?

702
00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:14,279
Speaker 1: I think that's it.

703
00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:16,240
Speaker 2: I think that I feel like I got a true

704
00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:19,960
Speaker 2: understanding of nineteen year old lesbian Jami.

705
00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:24,160
Speaker 1: Thank you Chris for coming through for me today. I

706
00:34:24,239 --> 00:34:26,080
Speaker 1: really appreciate you participating.

707
00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:30,879
Speaker 2: Of course, you have fun today, be safe, wear your

708
00:34:30,880 --> 00:34:36,239
Speaker 2: mask and I can't keep us updated on Corona. Yes, yes, yes,

709
00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:38,160
Speaker 2: our our resident scientists.

710
00:34:38,239 --> 00:34:41,120
Speaker 1: This is also a resident scientist. When we have your

711
00:34:41,120 --> 00:34:43,480
Speaker 1: any science questions, we asked, Chris.

712
00:34:43,520 --> 00:34:45,919
Speaker 3: Did you have any questions? Hit me up. I gotta

713
00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:48,640
Speaker 3: answer for everything, all right.

714
00:34:48,560 --> 00:34:50,200
Speaker 2: But bye, I love you all right?

715
00:34:50,200 --> 00:34:50,600
Speaker 4: Bye.

716
00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:54,560
Speaker 2: Oh I'm like.

717
00:34:54,520 --> 00:34:55,879
Speaker 1: A sweating I don't even know why.

718
00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:59,200
Speaker 2: I can tell you're moving around like a crackhead, swaying

719
00:34:59,239 --> 00:35:00,759
Speaker 2: back in the what are you gonna say?

720
00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:02,920
Speaker 1: What is this bitch you gonna say? And that was

721
00:35:02,960 --> 00:35:03,799
Speaker 1: actually the better one?

722
00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:04,120
Speaker 3: Great?

723
00:35:04,719 --> 00:35:06,759
Speaker 2: Oh you left? Oh you left? You let the better

724
00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:08,640
Speaker 2: one answer, I'm trying to get the dirt. I'm trying

725
00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:10,960
Speaker 2: to get the TT. Why can't we get the t T?

726
00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:14,160
Speaker 1: I mean, we're gonna call that one too, okay, but uh, yeah,

727
00:35:14,239 --> 00:35:16,840
Speaker 1: that was my very first lesbian girlfriend.

728
00:35:17,600 --> 00:35:18,760
Speaker 2: It was very serious.

729
00:35:18,840 --> 00:35:19,040
Speaker 7: Then.

730
00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:23,839
Speaker 2: Yeah, do you feel like you got a better glimpse at.

731
00:35:23,719 --> 00:35:24,720
Speaker 1: My lesbian life?

732
00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:27,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, a little bit. I mean, I guess i'd have

733
00:35:27,440 --> 00:35:32,400
Speaker 2: to be there. Yeah, I think that some of the

734
00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:36,440
Speaker 2: things she said I feel like I've heard before. And

735
00:35:36,520 --> 00:35:38,719
Speaker 2: you're in like in talking with you about you know,

736
00:35:38,760 --> 00:35:42,640
Speaker 2: what your most recent, you know, dating situations have been,

737
00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:45,200
Speaker 2: which is that you know, oftentimes people think that you

738
00:35:45,239 --> 00:35:49,680
Speaker 2: are too friendly or that you know, you know, she

739
00:35:49,760 --> 00:35:52,480
Speaker 2: seems like the type of person that wants a committed relationship,

740
00:35:52,880 --> 00:35:57,160
Speaker 2: and I think it probably at that time you didn't

741
00:35:57,160 --> 00:35:59,920
Speaker 2: know how to express what you You probably didn't even

742
00:35:59,920 --> 00:36:02,600
Speaker 2: know what you needed or what you want. Because even

743
00:36:02,640 --> 00:36:05,080
Speaker 2: now you still when you say your ideal man would

744
00:36:05,120 --> 00:36:09,600
Speaker 2: be or partner would be someone who is like encouraging

745
00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:12,840
Speaker 2: you to go and hang out with other people, watching

746
00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:16,920
Speaker 2: you dance with people taking your nude photos. I can't

747
00:36:16,920 --> 00:36:19,279
Speaker 2: take anyone who's really possessive. It's not gonna like me.

748
00:36:20,239 --> 00:36:22,680
Speaker 2: So she was possessive again. She was actually crazy.

749
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:25,640
Speaker 1: I'm happily she acknowledged that because she's like a stud

750
00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:30,879
Speaker 1: or whatever. But she's super emotional, super emotional, crying a lot.

751
00:36:31,160 --> 00:36:33,000
Speaker 1: At one point, she was crying under my bed because

752
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:34,560
Speaker 1: she missed her mom, and I was like, you gotta

753
00:36:34,560 --> 00:36:36,359
Speaker 1: call her, just callar.

754
00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:40,680
Speaker 2: And no, I couldn't. I didn't understand. I couldn't deal

755
00:36:40,719 --> 00:36:40,960
Speaker 2: with that.

756
00:36:41,239 --> 00:36:44,680
Speaker 1: I'm not good at dealing with a lot of people's emotions.

757
00:36:44,719 --> 00:36:47,480
Speaker 1: I have my own, and so just like you don't

758
00:36:47,480 --> 00:36:50,680
Speaker 1: seem rational right now, like you gotta go. But just

759
00:36:50,800 --> 00:36:53,440
Speaker 1: I was very heartless and sometimes I still kind of

760
00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:55,120
Speaker 1: can be. And it's just like I feel like you

761
00:36:55,120 --> 00:36:57,960
Speaker 1: should calm down, and like that's not something I would do,

762
00:36:58,040 --> 00:37:01,880
Speaker 1: So what the fuck. I'm much more sensitive as a

763
00:37:01,960 --> 00:37:10,399
Speaker 1: human being now, So yeah, I'm I've grown, I think

764
00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:13,560
Speaker 1: a little. I probably could evolve in more places, but

765
00:37:13,640 --> 00:37:16,719
Speaker 1: for the most part, kind of I feel like she

766
00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:18,839
Speaker 1: contributed to that.

767
00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:20,000
Speaker 2: Got it?

768
00:37:20,120 --> 00:37:22,440
Speaker 1: Okay, So are you ready to call yours Erica?

769
00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:23,560
Speaker 3: All right?

770
00:37:23,719 --> 00:37:26,160
Speaker 2: Well when you give us a little intro on this one,

771
00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:30,480
Speaker 2: yeah sure, Okay. So my ex is the ex I

772
00:37:30,520 --> 00:37:34,600
Speaker 2: had before my baby daddy. We dated for three years

773
00:37:35,680 --> 00:37:43,120
Speaker 2: and yeah, from the time I was eighteen to twenty one.

774
00:37:44,960 --> 00:37:48,520
Speaker 2: Who was my first real I would say, like the

775
00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:51,600
Speaker 2: first real boyfriend I had, Like I had boyfriends in

776
00:37:51,680 --> 00:37:54,040
Speaker 2: high school, but I mean like mature boyfriend, like we

777
00:37:54,080 --> 00:37:55,879
Speaker 2: had lived on our own, like we could do whatever

778
00:37:55,880 --> 00:37:57,680
Speaker 2: the fuck we wanted when we wanted. Was your mom

779
00:37:57,760 --> 00:38:02,080
Speaker 2: like him initially? Okay, she encouraged the relationship.

780
00:38:02,080 --> 00:38:03,879
Speaker 1: Okay, so.

781
00:38:05,360 --> 00:38:08,160
Speaker 2: Let's give him a and just a little backstory, like

782
00:38:08,200 --> 00:38:13,680
Speaker 2: I have not talked to him and probably eight years

783
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:16,160
Speaker 2: we broke like we broke up, and then like I

784
00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:19,799
Speaker 2: did not speak to him for years, like I would

785
00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:22,120
Speaker 2: never I was always shocked that I never ran into

786
00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:25,600
Speaker 2: him because we kind of ran in the same crowd.

787
00:38:25,640 --> 00:38:28,720
Speaker 2: He's in the entertainment industry and some capacity are you Okay.

788
00:38:28,520 --> 00:38:30,440
Speaker 1: My armpits are sweating.

789
00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:34,520
Speaker 2: And so we ended. I'll let him tell you the

790
00:38:34,560 --> 00:38:35,759
Speaker 2: story whatever, but.

791
00:38:37,360 --> 00:38:39,319
Speaker 1: So you won't be moving around like a crackhead. I'm

792
00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:40,359
Speaker 1: gonna give you something to do.

793
00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:45,160
Speaker 2: Okay, I uh, we didn't talk, and we recently, like

794
00:38:45,520 --> 00:38:48,120
Speaker 2: very recently, had a conversation, like I'm talking about like

795
00:38:48,120 --> 00:38:48,680
Speaker 2: two weeks ago.

796
00:38:48,719 --> 00:38:50,880
Speaker 1: And this is why this this episode even came up.

797
00:38:50,880 --> 00:38:52,840
Speaker 1: I think we had disgusted And then she's like, he

798
00:38:52,920 --> 00:38:55,920
Speaker 1: randomly called me and we facetimed, and I was like, oh,

799
00:38:55,960 --> 00:38:56,480
Speaker 1: and then we.

800
00:38:56,560 --> 00:38:59,880
Speaker 2: This birth this idea of calling our exes. Yeah, like

801
00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:03,200
Speaker 2: so unlike Jamila, like who's had contact with her ex

802
00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:07,600
Speaker 2: over the years, Like I've had zero none. So yeah,

803
00:39:08,520 --> 00:39:09,439
Speaker 2: let's give him a call.

804
00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:11,920
Speaker 1: What's his name again, I'm not saying his name.

805
00:39:12,200 --> 00:39:13,760
Speaker 2: I think it's fine. Okay, his name is Matt.

806
00:39:13,840 --> 00:39:16,200
Speaker 1: Okay, hopefully the answers.

807
00:39:17,120 --> 00:39:17,920
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I'm.

808
00:39:17,760 --> 00:39:19,760
Speaker 1: Nervous to I know. I told you this one talking

809
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:26,280
Speaker 1: about you is strange. Hey, hey, hey, Matt, how are you.

810
00:39:28,239 --> 00:39:28,439
Speaker 2: Good?

811
00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:29,960
Speaker 4: Good?

812
00:39:31,440 --> 00:39:38,839
Speaker 1: So we are recording now, Hey, hi, hello, and I'm

813
00:39:38,880 --> 00:39:40,920
Speaker 1: going to ask you a couple of questions about Erica

814
00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:42,680
Speaker 1: and your relationship ten years ago.

815
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:45,960
Speaker 2: Is how did you and Erica meet?

816
00:39:48,880 --> 00:39:53,200
Speaker 7: Oh my goodness, but I might get in trouble for

817
00:39:53,239 --> 00:39:54,680
Speaker 7: this because I don't know if we were supposed to

818
00:39:54,719 --> 00:39:56,120
Speaker 7: be paid Erica.

819
00:39:56,680 --> 00:40:00,280
Speaker 2: Oh no, it was. Yeah, it was like a great

820
00:40:00,320 --> 00:40:03,560
Speaker 2: love affair. How'd you meet now?

821
00:40:03,640 --> 00:40:06,200
Speaker 7: I used to I used to work. I used to

822
00:40:06,239 --> 00:40:08,320
Speaker 7: work at a record label and she was actually my intern.

823
00:40:08,760 --> 00:40:12,840
Speaker 2: So oh no, oh my god, it's been.

824
00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:15,040
Speaker 7: It's been within years. So you know, I don't think

825
00:40:15,040 --> 00:40:15,440
Speaker 7: I can.

826
00:40:15,280 --> 00:40:15,920
Speaker 4: Get in trouble with this.

827
00:40:16,080 --> 00:40:17,560
Speaker 1: I think I think we're out of the scope of

828
00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:20,960
Speaker 1: the time period of that. How what's your age difference?

829
00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:26,360
Speaker 7: Oh, four years? Four years since she was nineteen, I

830
00:40:26,400 --> 00:40:27,480
Speaker 7: was twenty three.

831
00:40:28,200 --> 00:40:30,200
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, I mean that sounds about it.

832
00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:36,440
Speaker 1: It was a little GARRONI Garni. So, because this is

833
00:40:36,480 --> 00:40:39,440
Speaker 1: like a forbidden relationship, who made the first move? Who

834
00:40:39,560 --> 00:40:42,520
Speaker 1: was the one initiating such relations.

835
00:40:43,640 --> 00:40:48,080
Speaker 7: It was totally me. It was obviously me, okay, trying

836
00:40:48,080 --> 00:40:52,879
Speaker 7: to figure out somebody. I think there was people who say, like, hey,

837
00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:55,560
Speaker 7: you guys should date, But I definitely have my owner

838
00:40:55,960 --> 00:40:59,440
Speaker 7: and I'm sure I made the first move. I don't

839
00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:01,960
Speaker 7: remember that in exactly when it was.

840
00:41:02,120 --> 00:41:04,759
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, we do. We know when it was. We

841
00:41:04,760 --> 00:41:08,319
Speaker 2: were on set. We were we were I was, I

842
00:41:08,440 --> 00:41:12,080
Speaker 2: was your intern, and we were shooting a music video.

843
00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:15,359
Speaker 4: And oh that day okay that day.

844
00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:18,239
Speaker 7: Because I also I thought we had already did some

845
00:41:18,320 --> 00:41:19,040
Speaker 7: flirting or something.

846
00:41:19,520 --> 00:41:21,680
Speaker 2: But yeah, okay, yeah, I think we had flirted. I

847
00:41:21,680 --> 00:41:24,640
Speaker 2: thought he was like he was like a few years

848
00:41:24,680 --> 00:41:26,759
Speaker 2: older than me. He had a good night like a

849
00:41:26,960 --> 00:41:29,080
Speaker 2: he had like a zone office, like he had a

850
00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:34,719
Speaker 2: real job. You know, I was impressed and ship. You know,

851
00:41:34,920 --> 00:41:36,879
Speaker 2: I was still like living at home. I gotta say

852
00:41:36,880 --> 00:41:44,000
Speaker 2: this point, we're still living with your mom? Yes, so okay, yeah,

853
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:44,960
Speaker 2: it was my first car.

854
00:41:45,160 --> 00:41:48,839
Speaker 1: Yeah, so you moved from your mom's house in with him.

855
00:41:48,880 --> 00:41:49,759
Speaker 2: I never lived with him.

856
00:41:50,040 --> 00:41:52,040
Speaker 1: Oh, you guys never lived but you guys did live together.

857
00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:53,080
Speaker 2: No, we never lived together.

858
00:41:53,120 --> 00:41:55,560
Speaker 1: Oh okay, I thought you did live together, not with him.

859
00:41:55,239 --> 00:41:56,800
Speaker 2: But but basically might as well.

860
00:41:56,960 --> 00:41:59,839
Speaker 1: This classy internship provided you your apartment and then you're

861
00:41:59,880 --> 00:42:00,319
Speaker 1: like grown.

862
00:42:00,800 --> 00:42:06,120
Speaker 2: No, this internship was an internship. I didn't get paid. Okay, okay,

863
00:42:06,320 --> 00:42:06,719
Speaker 2: we'll go on.

864
00:42:06,880 --> 00:42:13,200
Speaker 1: Sorry, Okay, anyway, what would you say was how would

865
00:42:13,239 --> 00:42:14,920
Speaker 1: you describe Erica in general?

866
00:42:20,200 --> 00:42:22,600
Speaker 7: Let me see, I mean, the first imperson I had

867
00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:26,640
Speaker 7: of her was obviously sheems super smart, she was creative

868
00:42:26,640 --> 00:42:30,360
Speaker 7: because basically what she did for me when she interned

869
00:42:30,480 --> 00:42:32,960
Speaker 7: was she she used to review treatments. So basically like

870
00:42:33,120 --> 00:42:34,880
Speaker 7: music video treatments would come in that I would have

871
00:42:34,920 --> 00:42:38,799
Speaker 7: to read. I would have Erica kind of like go

872
00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:42,200
Speaker 7: through them and just almost as if she was doing

873
00:42:42,239 --> 00:42:45,239
Speaker 7: like script coverage, like give me, give me the gist

874
00:42:45,239 --> 00:42:48,440
Speaker 7: of what this seems about. Right, So I immediately she

875
00:42:48,520 --> 00:42:52,680
Speaker 7: was super creative just the way she explained things. But

876
00:42:52,960 --> 00:42:56,880
Speaker 7: fast forward to our relationship, So I think Erica is

877
00:42:56,960 --> 00:43:00,720
Speaker 7: one of the most she's one of the most is people.

878
00:43:00,760 --> 00:43:05,560
Speaker 7: I know, Like she's super free. She actually like opened

879
00:43:05,560 --> 00:43:07,399
Speaker 7: me up to so much stuff to and I think

880
00:43:07,440 --> 00:43:11,160
Speaker 7: she's very open minded, you know, like she's super wild

881
00:43:11,520 --> 00:43:13,600
Speaker 7: in my van, you know, super.

882
00:43:13,320 --> 00:43:17,520
Speaker 4: Wildly totally wild.

883
00:43:17,520 --> 00:43:20,480
Speaker 7: I think, look, I was coming from the Midwest, I'm

884
00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:25,399
Speaker 7: I'm a country boy, and to start dating the California girl,

885
00:43:26,360 --> 00:43:28,960
Speaker 7: it was like it was like night and day. So

886
00:43:29,480 --> 00:43:31,960
Speaker 7: like the first thing I thought was like, Okay, she's super.

887
00:43:31,640 --> 00:43:35,759
Speaker 4: Free and she's you know, open minded and.

888
00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:41,000
Speaker 7: Kind of wild. Absolutely, but I don't know, I think.

889
00:43:40,880 --> 00:43:44,880
Speaker 1: Keep talking, but wild in a good way, a wild

890
00:43:44,960 --> 00:43:49,880
Speaker 1: and a bad way did this and and.

891
00:43:49,120 --> 00:43:53,960
Speaker 7: Okay, super like super adventurous, yeah, super adventurous, like she

892
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:56,319
Speaker 7: would put me on this stuff like, hey, let's do this,

893
00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:58,400
Speaker 7: let's do let's do that stuff I would never do.

894
00:43:58,560 --> 00:43:59,160
Speaker 1: So what do you think?

895
00:43:59,239 --> 00:44:00,000
Speaker 2: What would you think?

896
00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:02,480
Speaker 1: You walked away learning from this real hurt your relationship

897
00:44:02,520 --> 00:44:05,160
Speaker 1: with Erica. With that being said, just how.

898
00:44:05,040 --> 00:44:07,160
Speaker 7: To be how to be free, how to be free,

899
00:44:07,200 --> 00:44:11,480
Speaker 7: how to be open minded, and just not take myself

900
00:44:11,520 --> 00:44:15,840
Speaker 7: too seriously. Right, that was the biggest thing that I

901
00:44:15,960 --> 00:44:19,600
Speaker 7: took away, especially in my my relationships since my past

902
00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:23,520
Speaker 7: relationships after her. Yeah, it was like it was it.

903
00:44:23,520 --> 00:44:24,359
Speaker 7: It was a good look.

904
00:44:24,600 --> 00:44:25,279
Speaker 4: It was a good look.

905
00:44:26,480 --> 00:44:28,960
Speaker 1: What was the best thing about Erica in the relationship

906
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:29,960
Speaker 1: outside of that?

907
00:44:32,760 --> 00:44:38,480
Speaker 7: She was super uh caring, like it's super thoughtful, and

908
00:44:38,560 --> 00:44:40,280
Speaker 7: she always liked to say, I I was never.

909
00:44:40,160 --> 00:44:42,600
Speaker 4: Romantic, and I agree toil the day I'm not romantic.

910
00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:46,440
Speaker 2: At home, nothing exchanged, and so.

911
00:44:48,480 --> 00:44:51,560
Speaker 7: Erica would do little things like you know, bring me

912
00:44:51,600 --> 00:44:55,960
Speaker 7: home something without asking or like you know, she was

913
00:44:56,040 --> 00:44:58,400
Speaker 7: very like just giving me gifts and just little small

914
00:44:58,480 --> 00:45:04,400
Speaker 7: things like it's so many things, but okay, for example,

915
00:45:04,520 --> 00:45:05,359
Speaker 7: like I look through my.

916
00:45:05,320 --> 00:45:06,160
Speaker 4: Clops the other.

917
00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:10,720
Speaker 7: Day and I remember seeing a board game that Erica bought.

918
00:45:11,120 --> 00:45:14,000
Speaker 7: I think it was like for Valentine's Day. But she

919
00:45:14,080 --> 00:45:17,120
Speaker 7: had botic really cool board game. And I was like, yo,

920
00:45:17,200 --> 00:45:20,120
Speaker 7: that was cool. It could be that young and that thoughtful.

921
00:45:20,239 --> 00:45:22,160
Speaker 2: Wait what kind of was this? The sex board game

922
00:45:25,520 --> 00:45:26,400
Speaker 2: sounds about right, and.

923
00:45:26,840 --> 00:45:29,719
Speaker 7: And I'm and I'm being dramatic with that, but it

924
00:45:29,760 --> 00:45:30,520
Speaker 7: was just it was just.

925
00:45:30,520 --> 00:45:32,640
Speaker 4: A little things like that, you know.

926
00:45:33,200 --> 00:45:35,040
Speaker 2: But you know what, you did nice things for me too.

927
00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:38,279
Speaker 2: I remember you got me. He remember I told you

928
00:45:38,320 --> 00:45:40,640
Speaker 2: that my DJ name was dj E Love And I'm

929
00:45:40,640 --> 00:45:43,840
Speaker 2: telling that I think he did. He got me like

930
00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:46,440
Speaker 2: lessons to be a d I think you did, like

931
00:45:46,440 --> 00:45:48,880
Speaker 2: the Scratch Academy. I think I remember something about the

932
00:45:48,920 --> 00:45:51,640
Speaker 2: Scratch Academy. I he was like trying to, you know,

933
00:45:51,880 --> 00:45:54,360
Speaker 2: encourage my artistic endeavors.

934
00:45:54,520 --> 00:45:59,319
Speaker 1: That's wonderful. That was very nice of you. Would you

935
00:45:59,360 --> 00:46:04,600
Speaker 1: would you say, as are sexually in sync? I think

936
00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:05,120
Speaker 1: at one.

937
00:46:04,960 --> 00:46:06,839
Speaker 4: Point for sure? And absolutely.

938
00:46:09,800 --> 00:46:12,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, just at one point. At one point or

939
00:46:13,640 --> 00:46:14,440
Speaker 2: what point was that?

940
00:46:14,680 --> 00:46:15,000
Speaker 3: I think?

941
00:46:15,080 --> 00:46:15,399
Speaker 4: I think.

942
00:46:15,760 --> 00:46:19,800
Speaker 7: I think, honestly, the relationships are declining. I think the

943
00:46:19,880 --> 00:46:24,239
Speaker 7: two people aren't thinking anymore. So I would say I

944
00:46:24,280 --> 00:46:25,719
Speaker 7: hate to put a number on that. I won't say

945
00:46:25,960 --> 00:46:29,080
Speaker 7: eighty five percent of the relationship with sink because I mean,

946
00:46:29,120 --> 00:46:31,680
Speaker 7: we we spent like every hour together, like we would,

947
00:46:32,760 --> 00:46:35,439
Speaker 7: we would go everywhere together. We would to the point

948
00:46:35,440 --> 00:46:37,160
Speaker 7: where it was like that became the problem. It was

949
00:46:37,200 --> 00:46:40,160
Speaker 7: like we were two up underneath each other all the time.

950
00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:42,640
Speaker 2: So, so what were the problems in the relationship?

951
00:46:42,680 --> 00:46:45,200
Speaker 1: What was what was the like what was a dream

952
00:46:45,360 --> 00:46:49,640
Speaker 1: something drama or like why did it end? What was

953
00:46:49,760 --> 00:46:51,680
Speaker 1: not good about Erica in the relationship?

954
00:46:53,880 --> 00:46:56,560
Speaker 7: Well, I mean I won't say it not good, but

955
00:46:56,600 --> 00:46:58,680
Speaker 7: I would say I think something that at the time

956
00:46:58,719 --> 00:47:02,400
Speaker 7: I was insecure about was her freedom and how open

957
00:47:02,440 --> 00:47:05,200
Speaker 7: minded she was, you know, And I think at times

958
00:47:05,239 --> 00:47:10,680
Speaker 7: I will get jealous and deed controlling because she had friends,

959
00:47:10,719 --> 00:47:11,840
Speaker 7: you know what I mean, She had a bunch of

960
00:47:11,840 --> 00:47:13,000
Speaker 7: she's from she's from her life.

961
00:47:13,080 --> 00:47:14,360
Speaker 4: She had friends, she had a life.

962
00:47:14,440 --> 00:47:16,840
Speaker 7: I mean I had a life too, but she's a home,

963
00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:20,560
Speaker 7: homegrown girl. So I would just be insecure about like, oh,

964
00:47:20,640 --> 00:47:25,560
Speaker 7: she's going out, she's doing this, I would say. And

965
00:47:25,560 --> 00:47:30,200
Speaker 7: it was basically my insecurities, I think what went wrong,

966
00:47:30,560 --> 00:47:38,080
Speaker 7: But it was it was her her just like care free, smart,

967
00:47:38,239 --> 00:47:40,160
Speaker 7: like care free like attitude about everything.

968
00:47:40,280 --> 00:47:42,960
Speaker 2: And basically Matt thought I was always cheating on him,

969
00:47:43,760 --> 00:47:46,960
Speaker 2: and Matt always thought I was cheating on him. I

970
00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:49,399
Speaker 2: had a lot of male friends. Were you cheating on him?

971
00:47:49,640 --> 00:47:56,080
Speaker 2: Did you cheat on him? I flirted heavily. What who

972
00:47:56,120 --> 00:47:57,920
Speaker 2: did I chow? Anyway, I don't know.

973
00:47:58,160 --> 00:47:58,480
Speaker 4: I don't know.

974
00:47:58,760 --> 00:48:00,680
Speaker 2: He's just assuming from ten. Well, let me let me

975
00:48:00,760 --> 00:48:02,879
Speaker 2: just give you some perspective, because when I met Matt,

976
00:48:02,920 --> 00:48:05,000
Speaker 2: I was in a whole relationship. Okay, like when I

977
00:48:05,040 --> 00:48:07,319
Speaker 2: started interning for him, I was with this guy that

978
00:48:07,360 --> 00:48:09,319
Speaker 2: I was in a long distance relationship with this guy

979
00:48:09,320 --> 00:48:13,960
Speaker 2: in New York, and then that nigga was trash and

980
00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:18,000
Speaker 2: Matt was like this, like like creative, Like I called

981
00:48:18,080 --> 00:48:19,799
Speaker 2: him like nerdy the other day. He's like, you think

982
00:48:19,800 --> 00:48:21,840
Speaker 2: I'm a nerd. I'm like no, I mean just more so,

983
00:48:21,960 --> 00:48:24,680
Speaker 2: like he's really into his craft, Like Matt is a

984
00:48:25,520 --> 00:48:29,000
Speaker 2: director and like you know, at the time he wore

985
00:48:29,120 --> 00:48:34,440
Speaker 2: glasses glasses again, like he was just like, I mean,

986
00:48:34,480 --> 00:48:40,440
Speaker 2: he's and he's very good looking. And I I think

987
00:48:40,840 --> 00:48:43,040
Speaker 2: when I got out of so basically I broke up

988
00:48:43,320 --> 00:48:47,120
Speaker 2: with that guy because he was cheating on me. And

989
00:48:47,120 --> 00:48:49,000
Speaker 2: then also I was already into Matt, so it was

990
00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:52,120
Speaker 2: like an easy like bye, and then I immediately started

991
00:48:52,200 --> 00:48:54,759
Speaker 2: dating Matt and so I think because of that, there

992
00:48:54,800 --> 00:48:57,239
Speaker 2: was already a distrust because I could just jump from

993
00:48:57,280 --> 00:49:00,440
Speaker 2: one relationship to the next, Like I literally just jumped

994
00:49:00,440 --> 00:49:02,799
Speaker 2: from one to the next into it with him. And

995
00:49:02,800 --> 00:49:05,839
Speaker 2: so when we would argue, that would come up. Sometimes.

996
00:49:06,160 --> 00:49:09,000
Speaker 2: You know, I had like male friends like Carlton and

997
00:49:09,200 --> 00:49:14,800
Speaker 2: like JT that Matt did not fuck with. And I'll

998
00:49:14,840 --> 00:49:19,040
Speaker 2: never forget this moment. Matt, I'm about to put you

999
00:49:19,080 --> 00:49:23,200
Speaker 2: on blast. I'm sorry, but Matt made me call Carlton.

1000
00:49:24,200 --> 00:49:27,000
Speaker 1: Made me call him on speakerphone.

1001
00:49:26,600 --> 00:49:30,800
Speaker 2: And yes, and tell him that we could no longer

1002
00:49:30,880 --> 00:49:34,400
Speaker 2: be friends. Oh my god. And if you know Carlton.

1003
00:49:34,600 --> 00:49:35,879
Speaker 1: He was like, what if you.

1004
00:49:35,880 --> 00:49:38,520
Speaker 2: Know Carlton, Because Carlston's still one of my best friends.

1005
00:49:39,200 --> 00:49:42,720
Speaker 2: Me and Carlton have never had a sexual relationship at all,

1006
00:49:43,160 --> 00:49:46,040
Speaker 2: Like he is not I love that man so much,

1007
00:49:46,080 --> 00:49:49,320
Speaker 2: but he's not for me in that way. But Matt

1008
00:49:49,360 --> 00:49:52,440
Speaker 2: wasn't fucking with that. He didn't give a fuck. And

1009
00:49:52,520 --> 00:49:54,840
Speaker 2: so I'll never forget I had to call Carlton and

1010
00:49:54,880 --> 00:49:56,920
Speaker 2: be like and I just remember crying. I was like,

1011
00:49:57,000 --> 00:49:59,879
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, I just can't be.

1012
00:50:03,680 --> 00:50:06,920
Speaker 7: Oh, yeah, I'm sorry for that. I mean, and that

1013
00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:08,480
Speaker 7: and that goes back to what I was saying is

1014
00:50:08,560 --> 00:50:11,520
Speaker 7: like I was just so insecure time because I mean,

1015
00:50:11,600 --> 00:50:14,799
Speaker 7: Erica was my first adult relationship, so I didn't know

1016
00:50:14,800 --> 00:50:16,239
Speaker 7: how to you know, I didn't know what I was doing,

1017
00:50:16,560 --> 00:50:18,279
Speaker 7: you know, but.

1018
00:50:18,360 --> 00:50:19,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, go ahead, it comes on.

1019
00:50:19,520 --> 00:50:24,440
Speaker 1: What would you say is Erica's worst trait, her worst

1020
00:50:24,440 --> 00:50:27,520
Speaker 1: one trait, her worst treat trade?

1021
00:50:32,120 --> 00:50:35,560
Speaker 7: Honestly, I'm I'm I have no I couldn't tell you.

1022
00:50:35,600 --> 00:50:36,279
Speaker 7: I don't I don't know.

1023
00:50:36,360 --> 00:50:38,040
Speaker 4: I don't think she has a worst treat.

1024
00:50:38,600 --> 00:50:42,360
Speaker 7: I think collectively there's things that you might not, you know,

1025
00:50:43,000 --> 00:50:45,000
Speaker 7: I like about somebody, like what I was saying earlier

1026
00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:48,120
Speaker 7: about Oh, I just she was like sometimes too free,

1027
00:50:48,280 --> 00:50:51,440
Speaker 7: you know, and I think, yeah, I guess that sometimes

1028
00:50:51,480 --> 00:50:53,280
Speaker 7: it's free exactly, that's.

1029
00:50:53,160 --> 00:50:54,640
Speaker 1: What it is.

1030
00:50:55,040 --> 00:50:57,840
Speaker 7: I don't know if she's like that anymore.

1031
00:50:58,160 --> 00:51:00,880
Speaker 2: So like when you say two free, like too friendly,

1032
00:51:01,160 --> 00:51:04,920
Speaker 2: like too too many male friends, Yeah.

1033
00:51:04,760 --> 00:51:06,240
Speaker 4: I mean too olden minded even.

1034
00:51:06,160 --> 00:51:07,680
Speaker 1: Just like too open minded.

1035
00:51:08,840 --> 00:51:11,600
Speaker 7: I mean to me, I think you would explore at

1036
00:51:11,640 --> 00:51:14,320
Speaker 7: the time you explored it, like you would do anything.

1037
00:51:14,360 --> 00:51:15,319
Speaker 4: I'm sure like you would do.

1038
00:51:16,880 --> 00:51:20,240
Speaker 2: I don't know, I don't know what's anything just very

1039
00:51:21,360 --> 00:51:25,080
Speaker 2: say what what's anything with crack.

1040
00:51:25,600 --> 00:51:31,040
Speaker 7: I'm just saying, like as far as like drugs, alcohol.

1041
00:51:31,960 --> 00:51:36,239
Speaker 1: Drugs, alcohol, you know, you'll do anything, Okay, Okay, So

1042
00:51:36,280 --> 00:51:37,080
Speaker 1: she's she's.

1043
00:51:37,040 --> 00:51:39,440
Speaker 7: I mean at the time, at the time, she was

1044
00:51:39,520 --> 00:51:42,319
Speaker 7: very experimental, which that's part of what I loved about

1045
00:51:42,320 --> 00:51:44,719
Speaker 7: her too, Like for to day, like if I think

1046
00:51:44,719 --> 00:51:50,000
Speaker 7: it's very addicted, I'm like super experimental, Like is that

1047
00:51:50,120 --> 00:51:52,920
Speaker 7: she's dope for that? She inspired me to like just

1048
00:51:53,239 --> 00:51:54,160
Speaker 7: break out of my shoel.

1049
00:51:54,320 --> 00:51:54,480
Speaker 4: You know.

1050
00:51:54,520 --> 00:51:56,880
Speaker 7: Once she told me, she was like, she's like, you

1051
00:51:56,920 --> 00:51:58,440
Speaker 7: know what, I think we were arguing. She's like, you

1052
00:51:58,480 --> 00:52:00,719
Speaker 7: know what I opened, I opened you.

1053
00:52:00,760 --> 00:52:03,760
Speaker 4: Up like a little clam, like you're just so uptight

1054
00:52:03,960 --> 00:52:04,279
Speaker 4: you like.

1055
00:52:04,320 --> 00:52:05,719
Speaker 7: To fill up tight and close up.

1056
00:52:05,760 --> 00:52:06,600
Speaker 3: And I'm like, damn.

1057
00:52:06,880 --> 00:52:09,759
Speaker 2: And she was hit her.

1058
00:52:09,960 --> 00:52:10,640
Speaker 1: It hurt.

1059
00:52:11,840 --> 00:52:13,919
Speaker 2: Did you What did your parents or your family think

1060
00:52:13,920 --> 00:52:14,640
Speaker 2: about Erica?

1061
00:52:18,640 --> 00:52:20,600
Speaker 7: My mom? She was my mom and my sister.

1062
00:52:20,680 --> 00:52:21,839
Speaker 4: They loved Dereka way.

1063
00:52:21,960 --> 00:52:23,520
Speaker 2: Your sister did not like.

1064
00:52:23,560 --> 00:52:27,239
Speaker 4: Me before, I mean, before we started.

1065
00:52:27,160 --> 00:52:32,200
Speaker 2: Your sister threatened to kill me. I was scared of

1066
00:52:32,280 --> 00:52:34,640
Speaker 2: your sister for months. I thought she was gonna come

1067
00:52:34,680 --> 00:52:37,200
Speaker 2: for me from the Midwest. Yes, bitch, I thought his

1068
00:52:37,280 --> 00:52:40,080
Speaker 2: sister was going to track me down and like, beat

1069
00:52:40,120 --> 00:52:44,359
Speaker 2: my you're older or younger, sister older, she's older, she's

1070
00:52:44,400 --> 00:52:44,880
Speaker 2: super rat.

1071
00:52:45,120 --> 00:52:52,640
Speaker 7: But now my mom, my mom loved love Eric. I

1072
00:52:52,640 --> 00:52:55,840
Speaker 7: mean even until, like I think a year after we

1073
00:52:55,960 --> 00:52:58,040
Speaker 7: broke my mom was still acting, Hey, did you talk

1074
00:52:58,080 --> 00:53:00,759
Speaker 7: to Erica? You know y'all did get back together. I'm like,

1075
00:53:00,800 --> 00:53:04,600
Speaker 7: I haven't spoken nurses broke up, so originally she stopped asking,

1076
00:53:04,760 --> 00:53:06,360
Speaker 7: But yeah, mom, Mom.

1077
00:53:06,280 --> 00:53:06,759
Speaker 4: Definitely love.

1078
00:53:07,120 --> 00:53:08,280
Speaker 2: Would you say that.

1079
00:53:09,320 --> 00:53:10,040
Speaker 4: My dad right here?

1080
00:53:10,800 --> 00:53:12,000
Speaker 2: No, I never met your dad.

1081
00:53:13,520 --> 00:53:16,840
Speaker 1: Would you say that Erica is equally like or not

1082
00:53:16,880 --> 00:53:19,720
Speaker 1: equally or is possessive too and like a little jealous

1083
00:53:19,719 --> 00:53:21,919
Speaker 1: and crazy and possessive with her scorpio news?

1084
00:53:24,760 --> 00:53:27,560
Speaker 7: None, that never came across. It's crazy. When we were

1085
00:53:27,600 --> 00:53:32,480
Speaker 7: talking the other day, she was saying, she's she's more

1086
00:53:32,600 --> 00:53:34,240
Speaker 7: like that now or her past relations.

1087
00:53:34,400 --> 00:53:36,800
Speaker 4: She was like that, she was not like that, you know,

1088
00:53:37,480 --> 00:53:38,600
Speaker 4: so I can't say at all.

1089
00:53:39,160 --> 00:53:40,320
Speaker 7: That she was possessively.

1090
00:53:41,080 --> 00:53:41,239
Speaker 3: Now.

1091
00:53:42,160 --> 00:53:43,640
Speaker 2: Were you guys sexually in sync?

1092
00:53:46,360 --> 00:53:46,840
Speaker 7: Absolutely?

1093
00:53:48,719 --> 00:53:51,359
Speaker 4: You know, obviously have man you know totally Matt.

1094
00:53:52,160 --> 00:53:54,480
Speaker 2: Matt was the first person to ever make me squirt.

1095
00:53:55,040 --> 00:53:57,000
Speaker 2: Oh okay, well that's impressive.

1096
00:53:57,120 --> 00:53:57,319
Speaker 3: Matt.

1097
00:53:57,719 --> 00:53:59,040
Speaker 1: Are you the are you the guy? Are you the

1098
00:53:59,080 --> 00:53:59,840
Speaker 1: go to guy for that?

1099
00:54:00,640 --> 00:54:02,960
Speaker 2: Are you the squirting guy? Like, if you've never squired,

1100
00:54:03,000 --> 00:54:05,840
Speaker 2: go to math? He will open you up like a clam.

1101
00:54:07,400 --> 00:54:09,400
Speaker 1: Is that how you open pitches up like a clam?

1102
00:54:09,560 --> 00:54:09,719
Speaker 3: Huh?

1103
00:54:12,040 --> 00:54:13,959
Speaker 2: I guess, I guess I have Have you met anyone

1104
00:54:14,040 --> 00:54:14,600
Speaker 2: squirt since?

1105
00:54:14,640 --> 00:54:16,120
Speaker 3: Then? Have you?

1106
00:54:16,560 --> 00:54:16,920
Speaker 7: Have you met?

1107
00:54:18,040 --> 00:54:18,879
Speaker 2: So you are the guy?

1108
00:54:20,600 --> 00:54:23,520
Speaker 4: I think? I don't know.

1109
00:54:25,239 --> 00:54:26,480
Speaker 2: I don't know, I don't know.

1110
00:54:26,520 --> 00:54:28,839
Speaker 1: I'm trying to figure it out myself. But now I'm

1111
00:54:28,880 --> 00:54:31,040
Speaker 1: thinking maybe it's the mends that need. We need to

1112
00:54:31,080 --> 00:54:32,239
Speaker 1: figure it out who it is. I feel like you

1113
00:54:32,280 --> 00:54:33,880
Speaker 1: could make some money off of this. I will make

1114
00:54:33,960 --> 00:54:34,400
Speaker 1: you square.

1115
00:54:36,800 --> 00:54:37,520
Speaker 3: Was she was?

1116
00:54:37,600 --> 00:54:38,959
Speaker 2: She the best sex of your life?

1117
00:54:41,640 --> 00:54:44,880
Speaker 4: Uh? You know what. I'm recently out of a relationship.

1118
00:54:44,520 --> 00:54:49,080
Speaker 1: So I could say, yes, oh okay, you really.

1119
00:54:50,760 --> 00:54:51,200
Speaker 4: I'll tell you.

1120
00:54:51,320 --> 00:54:55,360
Speaker 7: You know something that fucked me up one time? Was

1121
00:54:56,120 --> 00:54:58,880
Speaker 7: And it's just how I always know how to cage

1122
00:54:58,920 --> 00:55:02,920
Speaker 7: with the relationship. Was pretty much like on into an athlete.

1123
00:55:04,320 --> 00:55:07,759
Speaker 7: I think the last two months of Eric and.

1124
00:55:07,760 --> 00:55:09,279
Speaker 4: I being together, we didn't have sex.

1125
00:55:09,400 --> 00:55:12,040
Speaker 7: And she said something one time like when we I mean,

1126
00:55:12,120 --> 00:55:15,080
Speaker 7: I think we were pretty much days from breaking up.

1127
00:55:15,120 --> 00:55:17,480
Speaker 7: She was like, I don't even want to have sex

1128
00:55:17,560 --> 00:55:19,440
Speaker 7: with anymore, right, I'm.

1129
00:55:19,320 --> 00:55:19,920
Speaker 4: Like, damn.

1130
00:55:20,880 --> 00:55:24,440
Speaker 7: And that always struck me because in differently, you know,

1131
00:55:24,560 --> 00:55:28,440
Speaker 7: when I went into relationship after that, or the relationship

1132
00:55:28,640 --> 00:55:32,440
Speaker 7: ended with me, that was a common thing. It was like, yo,

1133
00:55:33,560 --> 00:55:35,920
Speaker 7: but the woman don't even want to fucking nomore because

1134
00:55:35,920 --> 00:55:39,440
Speaker 7: she's just not inter and that It's so true. But

1135
00:55:39,600 --> 00:55:42,840
Speaker 7: I remember that was a that was towards like the

1136
00:55:42,920 --> 00:55:44,880
Speaker 7: last two months to Eric. But other than that, it

1137
00:55:44,960 --> 00:55:45,279
Speaker 7: was great.

1138
00:55:45,400 --> 00:55:48,280
Speaker 2: I will say me and Matt had a very strong

1139
00:55:48,440 --> 00:55:52,719
Speaker 2: sexual relationship, like almost to the point that I think

1140
00:55:52,800 --> 00:55:54,960
Speaker 2: a lot of the like holding on to some of

1141
00:55:55,040 --> 00:56:00,120
Speaker 2: the relationship was based in sex, you know, like we

1142
00:56:01,080 --> 00:56:03,279
Speaker 2: you know, I don't. Me and him were the in

1143
00:56:03,360 --> 00:56:08,120
Speaker 2: the type of relationship where like we could spend twenty

1144
00:56:08,239 --> 00:56:12,920
Speaker 2: days together not leave a room and it feel like

1145
00:56:13,440 --> 00:56:16,120
Speaker 2: five maybe five days have passed and like and that

1146
00:56:16,320 --> 00:56:22,120
Speaker 2: was very unhealthy because I got nothing done. And then

1147
00:56:22,200 --> 00:56:24,239
Speaker 2: we just were so up under each other that when

1148
00:56:24,239 --> 00:56:27,400
Speaker 2: we were apart from each other, I think maybe like

1149
00:56:27,560 --> 00:56:31,480
Speaker 2: we didn't know how to be, you know, it was

1150
00:56:31,600 --> 00:56:33,239
Speaker 2: like either it was all or nothing. And I think

1151
00:56:33,280 --> 00:56:35,600
Speaker 2: that I am q I am still quite like that,

1152
00:56:36,000 --> 00:56:37,480
Speaker 2: which is why I need to not be in a

1153
00:56:37,520 --> 00:56:39,720
Speaker 2: relationship because I don't really know how to have boundaries

1154
00:56:39,760 --> 00:56:43,759
Speaker 2: in that way still, But that was the first relationship

1155
00:56:43,800 --> 00:56:45,640
Speaker 2: that I was ever in that was like it was

1156
00:56:45,960 --> 00:56:53,320
Speaker 2: very intense emotionally and sexually. Why why what was like

1157
00:56:53,400 --> 00:56:56,399
Speaker 2: the last straw? Why did the relationship end after three

1158
00:56:56,600 --> 00:56:58,920
Speaker 2: four eight three years? After three years? What was the

1159
00:56:59,080 --> 00:57:03,399
Speaker 2: like final uh huh, Matt.

1160
00:57:05,000 --> 00:57:07,160
Speaker 7: I don't know. I don't know if I remember exactly what,

1161
00:57:07,960 --> 00:57:10,839
Speaker 7: but it probably had something to do with me trying

1162
00:57:10,880 --> 00:57:13,120
Speaker 7: to be controlled, you know, and she was just like, man,

1163
00:57:13,200 --> 00:57:16,040
Speaker 7: fuck you. I mean she she did it so effortlessly,

1164
00:57:16,240 --> 00:57:18,120
Speaker 7: you know, Like it wasn't like I think if we

1165
00:57:18,200 --> 00:57:20,320
Speaker 7: broke up some times, but it was nothing we ever

1166
00:57:20,360 --> 00:57:20,800
Speaker 7: broke up.

1167
00:57:20,760 --> 00:57:21,680
Speaker 4: More than like what we could two.

1168
00:57:22,520 --> 00:57:27,640
Speaker 7: And it was always tough for her to like communicate

1169
00:57:27,680 --> 00:57:31,360
Speaker 7: that to me and me and vice versa. But the

1170
00:57:31,800 --> 00:57:34,920
Speaker 7: last time she did it, it was just like I

1171
00:57:35,040 --> 00:57:36,200
Speaker 7: knew she had made up her mind.

1172
00:57:36,280 --> 00:57:40,400
Speaker 4: She's like, I'm done, you know. But I remember exactly

1173
00:57:40,400 --> 00:57:43,120
Speaker 4: what the action situation on that.

1174
00:57:43,240 --> 00:57:46,120
Speaker 2: I don't do you remember I remember where I was

1175
00:57:46,520 --> 00:57:48,720
Speaker 2: when it happened. I was at the park with Shaka,

1176
00:57:49,240 --> 00:57:51,280
Speaker 2: and I was like sitting there at the park, and

1177
00:57:51,360 --> 00:57:53,360
Speaker 2: I was like, I just can't, we can't do this

1178
00:57:53,440 --> 00:57:57,000
Speaker 2: anymore because we were literally we had the most epic fights,

1179
00:57:57,640 --> 00:57:59,960
Speaker 2: Like I've never fought with someone the way I thought

1180
00:58:00,080 --> 00:58:04,320
Speaker 2: with Matt. Like I'm talking about like like five hour fights,

1181
00:58:04,840 --> 00:58:08,600
Speaker 2: Like we had to take naps in between to like

1182
00:58:08,680 --> 00:58:10,920
Speaker 2: continue the fight. I don't know how we could have

1183
00:58:11,040 --> 00:58:15,960
Speaker 2: argued that long, like lock like lock each other in

1184
00:58:16,160 --> 00:58:19,320
Speaker 2: rooms like it got it got physical at times, it

1185
00:58:19,440 --> 00:58:20,960
Speaker 2: got really intense.

1186
00:58:21,120 --> 00:58:22,680
Speaker 1: Didn't you break something of his? You told me like

1187
00:58:22,720 --> 00:58:24,040
Speaker 1: something important? Oh?

1188
00:58:24,120 --> 00:58:24,800
Speaker 3: I threw some.

1189
00:58:25,160 --> 00:58:29,640
Speaker 2: I threw just I threw some like he's a director,

1190
00:58:29,760 --> 00:58:32,640
Speaker 2: oh oh oh yeah, some film and filmed this project.

1191
00:58:32,720 --> 00:58:34,920
Speaker 2: And he had the tapes at my house and I

1192
00:58:34,960 --> 00:58:37,600
Speaker 2: got mad and I threw them and he wreaked out.

1193
00:58:37,720 --> 00:58:43,080
Speaker 4: She told Flipped, I think that broke the bathroom, right,

1194
00:58:43,280 --> 00:58:43,800
Speaker 4: you broke you.

1195
00:58:43,840 --> 00:58:45,520
Speaker 2: Broke a few things in my house. You broke the

1196
00:58:45,560 --> 00:58:50,120
Speaker 2: bathroom door, you broke my purse. There was definitely a

1197
00:58:50,200 --> 00:58:53,800
Speaker 2: lot of things that were broken. Matt's anger. He's a virgo.

1198
00:58:55,040 --> 00:58:56,280
Speaker 2: So it was the girl we just got off the phone.

1199
00:58:56,480 --> 00:59:00,640
Speaker 1: Really mm hmmm. So that's a lot, you know, and

1200
00:59:01,080 --> 00:59:01,560
Speaker 1: he likes.

1201
00:59:01,480 --> 00:59:05,560
Speaker 2: The things that he likes a certain way, and I

1202
00:59:05,640 --> 00:59:10,200
Speaker 2: don't know there were Oh my god, there's this story

1203
00:59:10,280 --> 00:59:13,560
Speaker 2: that I shared on the podcast that actually is about Matt,

1204
00:59:13,680 --> 00:59:14,120
Speaker 2: but it's.

1205
00:59:14,200 --> 00:59:19,560
Speaker 1: He I don't Oh god, no, let's just leave that there. Wait.

1206
00:59:19,720 --> 00:59:21,280
Speaker 2: No, I want him to know. I wanted to know

1207
00:59:21,400 --> 00:59:23,800
Speaker 2: the story because Matt, do you remember when we went

1208
00:59:23,840 --> 00:59:25,880
Speaker 2: to the like we were not together, we'd broken up

1209
00:59:25,880 --> 00:59:29,800
Speaker 2: in the summer, and we went to a ditty party. Like,

1210
00:59:29,880 --> 00:59:31,680
Speaker 2: I went to a ditty party and I saw you there.

1211
00:59:31,720 --> 00:59:33,760
Speaker 2: It was a white party. It was a white ditty party.

1212
00:59:34,040 --> 00:59:36,720
Speaker 4: Oh right, right, you were with your girl.

1213
00:59:38,160 --> 00:59:41,520
Speaker 2: Yeah. I saw him there, and I was like, oh fuck,

1214
00:59:41,640 --> 00:59:43,680
Speaker 2: oh my god. Like I hadn't seen him, you know,

1215
00:59:44,000 --> 00:59:46,600
Speaker 2: maybe in like a month or two. I saw him

1216
00:59:46,640 --> 00:59:48,520
Speaker 2: there and like we didn't even talk.

1217
00:59:48,680 --> 00:59:49,480
Speaker 3: Did we talk? No?

1218
00:59:52,280 --> 00:59:53,960
Speaker 2: No, no, we didn't talk.

1219
00:59:54,080 --> 00:59:54,200
Speaker 9: Right.

1220
00:59:54,480 --> 00:59:57,600
Speaker 2: I go back home and at the time, like I

1221
00:59:57,800 --> 01:00:00,400
Speaker 2: was kind of messing around with this other guy who

1222
01:00:00,520 --> 01:00:03,760
Speaker 2: had come over, Matt showed up at my door, knocking

1223
01:00:03,960 --> 01:00:06,360
Speaker 2: on my door. You didn't call first, No, he just

1224
01:00:06,520 --> 01:00:11,760
Speaker 2: showed up at like four am, five am, and I

1225
01:00:11,840 --> 01:00:14,800
Speaker 2: had the guy in my bed, and I felt I

1226
01:00:14,920 --> 01:00:17,000
Speaker 2: still loved Matt, and I didn't want to hurt his feelings.

1227
01:00:17,080 --> 01:00:18,960
Speaker 2: And also I just felt guilty. And also I was

1228
01:00:19,000 --> 01:00:20,960
Speaker 2: scared because I didn't know how Matt was gonna react,

1229
01:00:21,000 --> 01:00:24,440
Speaker 2: because the Matt is reactive, and so the niggad jumped

1230
01:00:24,440 --> 01:00:26,880
Speaker 2: off the balcony. Oh yeah, I do remember this story.

1231
01:00:27,120 --> 01:00:27,320
Speaker 7: I do?

1232
01:00:28,720 --> 01:00:31,560
Speaker 4: And yeah, I always wondered about that.

1233
01:00:31,840 --> 01:00:33,600
Speaker 2: Do you remember that? Because you were like, I know

1234
01:00:33,800 --> 01:00:34,600
Speaker 2: someone's in there?

1235
01:00:34,720 --> 01:00:38,240
Speaker 3: He kept banging and saying yeah, because you would you

1236
01:00:38,240 --> 01:00:39,440
Speaker 3: would normally open.

1237
01:00:39,320 --> 01:00:41,680
Speaker 4: The door, like you know, and you aren't.

1238
01:00:42,040 --> 01:00:44,640
Speaker 7: I knew you were all, but yeah I.

1239
01:00:47,360 --> 01:00:47,440
Speaker 3: Did.

1240
01:00:47,960 --> 01:00:51,240
Speaker 2: I mean yeah, I mean we young, young, dumb love

1241
01:00:51,440 --> 01:00:53,439
Speaker 2: we could all makes you do some crazy shit.

1242
01:00:53,520 --> 01:00:54,000
Speaker 3: Oh god.

1243
01:00:55,200 --> 01:00:59,320
Speaker 2: Okay, So my last question Matt is why do you

1244
01:00:59,440 --> 01:01:00,400
Speaker 2: date Eric again?

1245
01:01:03,480 --> 01:01:05,640
Speaker 7: As much as I would love to, I just don't think.

1246
01:01:06,720 --> 01:01:11,800
Speaker 7: I just don't think it would be healthy. I enjoyed

1247
01:01:12,000 --> 01:01:14,880
Speaker 7: and and I think I told this last week, or

1248
01:01:14,920 --> 01:01:15,600
Speaker 7: maybe I didn't, but.

1249
01:01:15,640 --> 01:01:19,120
Speaker 4: I enjoy just being able to talk to her like

1250
01:01:19,240 --> 01:01:23,080
Speaker 4: this and and it be so pure and there's no agenda.

1251
01:01:23,240 --> 01:01:26,200
Speaker 4: It's like she's more more.

1252
01:01:26,120 --> 01:01:28,200
Speaker 7: Precious to me as a friend now than a lover,

1253
01:01:28,760 --> 01:01:33,320
Speaker 7: you know, And part of like just just I'm not gonna.

1254
01:01:33,200 --> 01:01:33,720
Speaker 4: Talk, you know.

1255
01:01:33,920 --> 01:01:36,760
Speaker 7: But part of why I reached out to Eric after

1256
01:01:36,840 --> 01:01:41,120
Speaker 7: ten years was because I had a relationship that I

1257
01:01:41,280 --> 01:01:45,320
Speaker 7: just ended and then we were together, if I'm want

1258
01:01:45,360 --> 01:01:48,520
Speaker 7: to say four years almost fine. And there was certain

1259
01:01:48,800 --> 01:01:52,920
Speaker 7: you know, parallels that things that I did wrong with

1260
01:01:53,200 --> 01:01:53,600
Speaker 7: Erica that.

1261
01:01:53,640 --> 01:01:57,200
Speaker 4: I did along with my current days girlfriend.

1262
01:01:57,760 --> 01:02:02,600
Speaker 7: Right, So part of me needed Erica as a form

1263
01:02:02,680 --> 01:02:05,720
Speaker 7: of number one. We never had full closure number two

1264
01:02:06,320 --> 01:02:08,200
Speaker 7: as a form of life. Just arab be like, Yo,

1265
01:02:09,520 --> 01:02:10,440
Speaker 7: I'm remorseful for.

1266
01:02:10,520 --> 01:02:11,160
Speaker 4: Things I've done.

1267
01:02:11,360 --> 01:02:16,600
Speaker 7: I'm sorry, and I want to learn about myself, you

1268
01:02:16,680 --> 01:02:19,080
Speaker 7: know what I mean. Because there's ship that I fucked

1269
01:02:19,160 --> 01:02:20,680
Speaker 7: up in this current relationship.

1270
01:02:20,960 --> 01:02:21,600
Speaker 4: That's why I'm.

1271
01:02:21,480 --> 01:02:24,080
Speaker 7: Singling it, you know what I mean. So it had

1272
01:02:24,120 --> 01:02:27,680
Speaker 7: a lot to do with that, and I think having

1273
01:02:27,760 --> 01:02:31,920
Speaker 7: someone like Erica, specifically Erica, I think that's just that's

1274
01:02:32,040 --> 01:02:34,800
Speaker 7: more precious thing, you know, fucking it up again, you know,

1275
01:02:35,400 --> 01:02:37,400
Speaker 7: not that I was fucking up, but you know, I

1276
01:02:37,520 --> 01:02:38,960
Speaker 7: just I don't even really.

1277
01:02:38,800 --> 01:02:39,680
Speaker 4: Want to take that risk.

1278
01:02:40,320 --> 01:02:42,680
Speaker 1: Well, well that's a big of you to to see

1279
01:02:42,920 --> 01:02:46,200
Speaker 1: you know, your patterns and to take responsibility and say, hey,

1280
01:02:46,440 --> 01:02:48,480
Speaker 1: maybe it's time for me to go within and see

1281
01:02:48,480 --> 01:02:50,720
Speaker 1: why am I reactive like this, Why do I Why

1282
01:02:50,800 --> 01:02:52,400
Speaker 1: have I done this to two people that I love?

1283
01:02:52,480 --> 01:02:54,880
Speaker 1: You know, not a lot of men are able to

1284
01:02:55,080 --> 01:02:57,920
Speaker 1: examine themselves that way and make change and you know,

1285
01:02:58,960 --> 01:03:02,360
Speaker 1: amend people you've hurt in you know, even ten years ago.

1286
01:03:02,600 --> 01:03:03,680
Speaker 1: So that's good.

1287
01:03:03,880 --> 01:03:06,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, And to be honest, I feel like me and

1288
01:03:06,760 --> 01:03:09,640
Speaker 2: Matt like we have had this huge break, this long break,

1289
01:03:10,960 --> 01:03:13,560
Speaker 2: because I think we needed it. I mean, our relationship ended,

1290
01:03:13,720 --> 01:03:16,920
Speaker 2: like I don't know, we had such an volatile, loving,

1291
01:03:17,000 --> 01:03:21,040
Speaker 2: but volatile relationship that I feel like that time, that

1292
01:03:21,280 --> 01:03:23,240
Speaker 2: that time apart, like we wouldn't have been able to

1293
01:03:23,280 --> 01:03:29,959
Speaker 2: have this conversation like five years ago, you know, Like, yeah,

1294
01:03:30,360 --> 01:03:34,760
Speaker 2: So I appreciate you. Thank you for you know, opening

1295
01:03:34,880 --> 01:03:38,720
Speaker 2: up and participating on Good Mom's Bad Choices podcast. Thank you,

1296
01:03:40,200 --> 01:03:45,560
Speaker 2: thanks for having appreciate it. Don't listen. Don't listen to

1297
01:03:45,640 --> 01:03:49,280
Speaker 2: any of my episodes, thank you. I think he kind

1298
01:03:49,280 --> 01:03:51,480
Speaker 2: of nass I think you should listen to some episode.

1299
01:03:51,560 --> 01:03:51,720
Speaker 3: Why.

1300
01:03:52,160 --> 01:03:53,520
Speaker 1: I don't know. I just think he's in a place

1301
01:03:53,560 --> 01:03:55,680
Speaker 1: in his life that he would benefit from listening to

1302
01:03:55,760 --> 01:03:56,400
Speaker 1: the episodes.

1303
01:03:56,480 --> 01:04:00,240
Speaker 2: Well, if you want to send over some suggestion just

1304
01:04:00,280 --> 01:04:02,280
Speaker 2: from a just from Women's perspective.

1305
01:04:02,400 --> 01:04:04,000
Speaker 1: I think this might be a good time for you

1306
01:04:04,120 --> 01:04:07,800
Speaker 1: to just open up and say, you know, sit back

1307
01:04:07,840 --> 01:04:08,280
Speaker 1: and listen.

1308
01:04:08,840 --> 01:04:10,360
Speaker 2: Eric is looking at me like, what the fuck are

1309
01:04:10,400 --> 01:04:13,040
Speaker 2: you talking about? Well, you guys are not getting back together.

1310
01:04:13,200 --> 01:04:15,240
Speaker 2: He already thinks you're so free, so you might as

1311
01:04:15,280 --> 01:04:18,400
Speaker 2: well just let him benefit. He'll get confirmation about Yeah,

1312
01:04:18,440 --> 01:04:18,760
Speaker 2: he will.

1313
01:04:19,280 --> 01:04:22,760
Speaker 1: He may need to be free too. I'm clearly, I'm

1314
01:04:22,800 --> 01:04:27,600
Speaker 1: clearly her friend. Open up like a clam.

1315
01:04:30,320 --> 01:04:32,960
Speaker 7: And I started looking through some stuff, and I definitely

1316
01:04:33,800 --> 01:04:37,720
Speaker 7: I'm going to continue to listen to absolutely starts.

1317
01:04:38,400 --> 01:04:44,360
Speaker 2: Well, thanks, no pressure, thank you, all right, Well, I'll

1318
01:04:44,400 --> 01:04:44,960
Speaker 2: call you later.

1319
01:04:45,480 --> 01:04:52,320
Speaker 1: Bye, Matt sounds good, Thank you bye. How do you feel?

1320
01:04:52,880 --> 01:04:53,440
Speaker 1: Are you sweating?

1321
01:04:54,200 --> 01:04:54,640
Speaker 4: I don't know.

1322
01:04:55,400 --> 01:04:57,840
Speaker 2: And I'm really mad that you fucking encouraged him to

1323
01:04:58,160 --> 01:05:00,560
Speaker 2: listen to all my all the ship, but I talk.

1324
01:05:00,640 --> 01:05:02,200
Speaker 2: I'm just happy he's the one who was knocking on

1325
01:05:02,280 --> 01:05:02,520
Speaker 2: the door.

1326
01:05:02,680 --> 01:05:04,480
Speaker 1: I didn't know who he was, and I don't know

1327
01:05:04,480 --> 01:05:06,360
Speaker 1: if he's gonna be offended now that he knows that

1328
01:05:06,440 --> 01:05:08,280
Speaker 1: you were just hot off some other dick.

1329
01:05:08,760 --> 01:05:10,320
Speaker 2: Why were I know you were like trying to get

1330
01:05:10,360 --> 01:05:11,200
Speaker 2: me not to tell him?

1331
01:05:11,200 --> 01:05:11,920
Speaker 1: I don't know why?

1332
01:05:12,000 --> 01:05:13,400
Speaker 2: Why do you care what he's feeling so much.

1333
01:05:13,560 --> 01:05:13,960
Speaker 1: I don't know.

1334
01:05:14,120 --> 01:05:17,080
Speaker 2: He seems so sensitive. I mean he is, but I

1335
01:05:17,120 --> 01:05:19,200
Speaker 2: think I think it's I don't know, it's God that

1336
01:05:19,320 --> 01:05:21,960
Speaker 2: we can laugh about it. He wasn't my nigga at

1337
01:05:22,000 --> 01:05:25,760
Speaker 2: the time, like point blank. But I just feel like,

1338
01:05:26,480 --> 01:05:29,560
Speaker 2: I don't know. It's interesting to hear that perspective because.

1339
01:05:32,040 --> 01:05:32,360
Speaker 4: I don't know.

1340
01:05:32,400 --> 01:05:35,120
Speaker 2: I think my last in my like my last relationship,

1341
01:05:35,960 --> 01:05:38,280
Speaker 2: he would say that I'm free, but also I'm not.

1342
01:05:38,880 --> 01:05:42,280
Speaker 2: Like he would say that, like you're not. Yeah, like

1343
01:05:42,920 --> 01:05:45,439
Speaker 2: who are you? My real my like my last act

1344
01:05:45,480 --> 01:05:48,080
Speaker 2: on my realie, my last ax, my baby dad. Oh okay, yeah,

1345
01:05:52,080 --> 01:05:52,920
Speaker 2: this is so funny.

1346
01:05:53,000 --> 01:05:56,080
Speaker 1: This is like a real like walk down memory lane.

1347
01:05:56,480 --> 01:05:59,200
Speaker 2: I also think that it's interesting to hear that perspective too,

1348
01:05:59,280 --> 01:06:02,480
Speaker 2: because I think that ending that relationship or that relationship

1349
01:06:02,640 --> 01:06:05,080
Speaker 2: left me feeling like it took away a little bit

1350
01:06:05,160 --> 01:06:07,200
Speaker 2: of my freedom. It made me feel like, am I

1351
01:06:07,320 --> 01:06:10,080
Speaker 2: too free? I started questioning myself and I feel like

1352
01:06:10,840 --> 01:06:14,920
Speaker 2: now I'm as a single person. That's actually I've been

1353
01:06:15,040 --> 01:06:17,320
Speaker 2: single for almost it's gonna be three years this year,

1354
01:06:18,760 --> 01:06:21,120
Speaker 2: Like I've had a lot of time to reflect on that,

1355
01:06:21,440 --> 01:06:23,840
Speaker 2: and like I'm trying to regain that back.

1356
01:06:24,000 --> 01:06:26,320
Speaker 1: So you think he robbed that of you a little

1357
01:06:26,360 --> 01:06:29,160
Speaker 1: bit your twenty kind of after that, you I have

1358
01:06:29,320 --> 01:06:31,880
Speaker 1: you led with like maybe I am too free because yeah, well,

1359
01:06:32,080 --> 01:06:34,080
Speaker 1: I mean, verbal abuse is real.

1360
01:06:34,200 --> 01:06:36,120
Speaker 2: And then and then I also got into a relationship

1361
01:06:36,120 --> 01:06:38,120
Speaker 2: where I could be really free, and I was like,

1362
01:06:38,480 --> 01:06:40,200
Speaker 2: now I'm too free. I was so used to like

1363
01:06:40,400 --> 01:06:43,080
Speaker 2: the other you know, I don't know. I don't want

1364
01:06:43,120 --> 01:06:44,160
Speaker 2: to say he robbed me.

1365
01:06:44,280 --> 01:06:46,880
Speaker 1: I allowed it, you know right right, well, we will

1366
01:06:46,880 --> 01:06:48,919
Speaker 1: only we only allow people to take away things. Yeah,

1367
01:06:48,920 --> 01:06:50,880
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna blame him for that, Like, but he

1368
01:06:51,400 --> 01:06:54,840
Speaker 1: probably prompted that. Oh absolutely absolutely no, I mean no,

1369
01:06:55,080 --> 01:06:56,840
Speaker 1: people do that to you and you love someone.

1370
01:06:57,000 --> 01:06:59,120
Speaker 2: It definitely made me think about it, like, wait, am

1371
01:06:59,200 --> 01:07:00,440
Speaker 2: I like I never would.

1372
01:07:00,240 --> 01:07:01,600
Speaker 1: Just being me questioning it.

1373
01:07:01,840 --> 01:07:03,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, but they're definitely something. I was also

1374
01:07:03,800 --> 01:07:06,880
Speaker 2: doing some function too, I mean learning inappropriately. I was

1375
01:07:06,960 --> 01:07:09,840
Speaker 2: talking to like ex'es. I was, yeah, I was getting

1376
01:07:09,880 --> 01:07:13,680
Speaker 2: numbers at club, like what he.

1377
01:07:13,720 --> 01:07:15,160
Speaker 1: Said we could be friends.

1378
01:07:15,440 --> 01:07:16,080
Speaker 3: Did I cheat?

1379
01:07:16,160 --> 01:07:19,240
Speaker 2: I think I cheated at the end for sure. And

1380
01:07:19,360 --> 01:07:22,160
Speaker 2: actually it's funny because and he knows this because I

1381
01:07:22,200 --> 01:07:25,440
Speaker 2: told him this. But Freddy at the time like my

1382
01:07:25,480 --> 01:07:28,720
Speaker 2: baby daddy, like he was. I knew him, like I

1383
01:07:28,760 --> 01:07:30,680
Speaker 2: had met him while I was in the relationship with

1384
01:07:31,120 --> 01:07:33,520
Speaker 2: with Matt because of friends. First, we were friends with

1385
01:07:33,640 --> 01:07:35,760
Speaker 2: secret friends. He didn't even know he was a secret friend.

1386
01:07:36,360 --> 01:07:39,280
Speaker 2: I just kept I knew Matt would not allow me

1387
01:07:39,400 --> 01:07:41,320
Speaker 2: to be friends with him or would not want me

1388
01:07:41,400 --> 01:07:44,560
Speaker 2: to be friends with him. And you were not allowed

1389
01:07:44,560 --> 01:07:47,000
Speaker 2: to be friends with anything because I don't know that

1390
01:07:47,320 --> 01:07:50,280
Speaker 2: is sex just literally, That's what he would tell me,

1391
01:07:50,440 --> 01:07:54,000
Speaker 2: is that it doesn't exist. It's not real. I'm a man,

1392
01:07:54,200 --> 01:07:56,680
Speaker 2: trust me. You know, I've heard this like verbada, I'm

1393
01:07:56,720 --> 01:07:59,360
Speaker 2: a man. They don't want to not exist. So I

1394
01:07:59,600 --> 01:08:02,000
Speaker 2: was really like, I don't believe that because I'm actually

1395
01:08:02,000 --> 01:08:05,920
Speaker 2: experiencing relationships that are platonic with men, right. But he

1396
01:08:06,120 --> 01:08:08,040
Speaker 2: just wasn't for it. And then at some point, like

1397
01:08:08,240 --> 01:08:10,320
Speaker 2: when you hear that enough and you start to not

1398
01:08:10,440 --> 01:08:14,480
Speaker 2: believing it, you know, or like yeah, So it's interesting

1399
01:08:14,560 --> 01:08:16,960
Speaker 2: to think about that because I do think I was

1400
01:08:17,000 --> 01:08:19,000
Speaker 2: super free at that time. I was also really young too.

1401
01:08:19,040 --> 01:08:21,760
Speaker 2: It was going out a lot, but like after that relationship,

1402
01:08:24,080 --> 01:08:25,880
Speaker 2: I felt like some of that is not.

1403
01:08:27,479 --> 01:08:29,080
Speaker 1: I don't know you didn't leave the relationship the same

1404
01:08:29,120 --> 01:08:30,439
Speaker 1: why you came into it exactly.

1405
01:08:30,920 --> 01:08:33,320
Speaker 2: I don't think anyone really does well. Sometimes you do

1406
01:08:33,400 --> 01:08:36,040
Speaker 2: with bullshit ask relationship, yeah right, but the ones that

1407
01:08:36,160 --> 01:08:39,200
Speaker 2: really deeply define you, define parts of your life and

1408
01:08:39,280 --> 01:08:42,120
Speaker 2: affect you in that way. That was definitely one of them.

1409
01:08:42,200 --> 01:08:44,920
Speaker 1: Damn, that's crazy. We're like Clay, and every time we

1410
01:08:46,400 --> 01:08:49,479
Speaker 1: partner with someone, they make their impression on us, whether

1411
01:08:49,560 --> 01:08:50,920
Speaker 1: that'd be good or bad, and then you have to

1412
01:08:51,000 --> 01:08:54,320
Speaker 1: move on with that baggage or whatever. You've However, you've

1413
01:08:54,360 --> 01:08:57,200
Speaker 1: shifted your shape, your original you know what I mean,

1414
01:08:57,280 --> 01:09:00,080
Speaker 1: And sometimes it's for the better. But sometimes, you.

1415
01:09:00,080 --> 01:09:01,880
Speaker 2: Know what also is funny too. I'm sorry, I keep thinking.

1416
01:09:01,920 --> 01:09:04,040
Speaker 2: I'm thinking back on this too because I'm thinking about

1417
01:09:04,120 --> 01:09:08,320
Speaker 2: that exact idea. And when we were talking when he

1418
01:09:08,400 --> 01:09:11,800
Speaker 2: first reconnected, like a few weeks ago, he told me, yeah,

1419
01:09:11,840 --> 01:09:13,960
Speaker 2: I remember when you used to be sitting on like

1420
01:09:14,280 --> 01:09:17,360
Speaker 2: the computer writing and like making tracks and like singing,

1421
01:09:18,520 --> 01:09:22,080
Speaker 2: like built making songs in front of me, and I

1422
01:09:22,120 --> 01:09:23,880
Speaker 2: would be doing my thing. And I thought to myself,

1423
01:09:24,280 --> 01:09:26,320
Speaker 2: WHOA Like, I can't believe I did that, because there

1424
01:09:26,400 --> 01:09:28,000
Speaker 2: was no way I would have done that in front

1425
01:09:28,000 --> 01:09:30,960
Speaker 2: of my baby daddy. I did not feel comfortable creating

1426
01:09:31,000 --> 01:09:33,760
Speaker 2: in front of him, and he always encouraged my creativity,

1427
01:09:34,040 --> 01:09:35,920
Speaker 2: and so that's something that I felt like I lost

1428
01:09:35,960 --> 01:09:39,800
Speaker 2: in my next relationship that always encouraged my whereas my ex.

1429
01:09:39,880 --> 01:09:41,599
Speaker 2: It's not that he didn't encourage it, he just didn't

1430
01:09:41,600 --> 01:09:45,040
Speaker 2: take interest in it, and like I was insecure and

1431
01:09:45,120 --> 01:09:47,439
Speaker 2: needed his validation, and because I didn't get it, I

1432
01:09:47,560 --> 01:09:51,439
Speaker 2: just thought it wasn't good. So I stopped creating kind

1433
01:09:51,479 --> 01:09:54,360
Speaker 2: of and that and I took that with me, and

1434
01:09:54,400 --> 01:09:56,960
Speaker 2: I think this podcast has really been the catalyst for

1435
01:09:57,120 --> 01:10:00,240
Speaker 2: my creativity out of that, because I felt like I'm

1436
01:10:00,280 --> 01:10:02,680
Speaker 2: not an artist, like I know, acting has always been

1437
01:10:02,720 --> 01:10:05,160
Speaker 2: there for me regardless, but like other forms of creativity

1438
01:10:05,240 --> 01:10:09,519
Speaker 2: like songwriting music, you know, writing stuff, like it was

1439
01:10:09,800 --> 01:10:13,360
Speaker 2: just different. And so it's so interesting how things, yeah,

1440
01:10:13,400 --> 01:10:15,840
Speaker 2: they do, they take its shape and then you can

1441
01:10:15,920 --> 01:10:16,920
Speaker 2: like pop those out.

1442
01:10:17,000 --> 01:10:18,760
Speaker 1: Back to how they were, right, know what I mean,

1443
01:10:19,080 --> 01:10:21,720
Speaker 1: somethings to go back after some things don't go back

1444
01:10:21,720 --> 01:10:24,920
Speaker 1: the same, not to the full capacity, but even maybe

1445
01:10:24,960 --> 01:10:27,800
Speaker 1: even to the higher capacity, because you're like fuck that, right,

1446
01:10:28,160 --> 01:10:31,080
Speaker 1: But everybody's different and every impression is different and It's

1447
01:10:31,160 --> 01:10:34,640
Speaker 1: like it makes me think, how do we had this

1448
01:10:34,840 --> 01:10:39,720
Speaker 1: perspective at eighteen? At nineteen, would we have gone into

1449
01:10:39,760 --> 01:10:42,200
Speaker 1: these relationships more conscious of that?

1450
01:10:42,439 --> 01:10:45,120
Speaker 2: And like how can we prep our kids? I don't know.

1451
01:10:45,200 --> 01:10:47,720
Speaker 2: I didn't want to listen to shit. I know, I

1452
01:10:47,920 --> 01:10:50,560
Speaker 2: don't know, but now even dropping scenes right now like

1453
01:10:51,280 --> 01:10:53,160
Speaker 2: like you know what I mean? No, I know, I know,

1454
01:10:53,360 --> 01:10:56,320
Speaker 2: but I'm just saying me personally, like I would not

1455
01:10:56,439 --> 01:10:59,479
Speaker 2: have listened, you know, like I am so I still am,

1456
01:10:59,520 --> 01:11:00,960
Speaker 2: but it is much as I was then. I was

1457
01:11:01,040 --> 01:11:03,240
Speaker 2: so like, I need to live my own life. You

1458
01:11:03,320 --> 01:11:05,240
Speaker 2: can't tell me what to do. I know how I feel,

1459
01:11:05,320 --> 01:11:08,880
Speaker 2: and I feel confident in my feelings. But when he

1460
01:11:09,080 --> 01:11:11,080
Speaker 2: sent me pictures, because that's kind of we're sorry, he

1461
01:11:11,080 --> 01:11:13,519
Speaker 2: sent me pictures of like the past, like when I

1462
01:11:13,640 --> 01:11:15,439
Speaker 2: was like nineteen hanging out with him, and I was

1463
01:11:15,479 --> 01:11:18,479
Speaker 2: looking at those pictures thinking like fuck, I wish I

1464
01:11:18,520 --> 01:11:20,680
Speaker 2: could just like whisper in her ear and.

1465
01:11:20,800 --> 01:11:22,679
Speaker 1: Tell her some shit real quick.

1466
01:11:22,920 --> 01:11:25,280
Speaker 2: I see in my eye I could see like the

1467
01:11:26,400 --> 01:11:29,360
Speaker 2: I think I know it all shit in my eyes.

1468
01:11:30,360 --> 01:11:33,599
Speaker 1: I swear to God, I was like, you don't know shite,

1469
01:11:33,760 --> 01:11:35,240
Speaker 1: whisper you no, no.

1470
01:11:35,600 --> 01:11:37,599
Speaker 2: Shit shout the buck up, sit down, listen to her

1471
01:11:37,640 --> 01:11:41,720
Speaker 2: mom also, like, because there's there's things that I could

1472
01:11:41,760 --> 01:11:43,880
Speaker 2: have totally avoided had I just listened to my mother.

1473
01:11:44,320 --> 01:11:46,519
Speaker 2: And sometimes I battle with that now as an adult

1474
01:11:46,560 --> 01:11:49,040
Speaker 2: too because I know that. And then she she still

1475
01:11:49,080 --> 01:11:51,760
Speaker 2: continuously obviously gives me her opinion advice. I'm solicited, but

1476
01:11:51,760 --> 01:11:54,599
Speaker 2: I love you, mom, but sometimes i'm and I don't

1477
01:11:54,640 --> 01:11:56,479
Speaker 2: take it all the time because I feel like, okay,

1478
01:11:56,520 --> 01:11:58,800
Speaker 2: but I also have to be my own person. It's

1479
01:11:58,880 --> 01:12:01,160
Speaker 2: just like knowing what to listen to and how to

1480
01:12:01,320 --> 01:12:03,160
Speaker 2: like seed through those things.

1481
01:12:03,280 --> 01:12:04,439
Speaker 1: You know, It's true.

1482
01:12:04,560 --> 01:12:06,400
Speaker 2: It's just now being a.

1483
01:12:06,479 --> 01:12:10,479
Speaker 1: Mom right right now and like being like and knowing

1484
01:12:11,000 --> 01:12:13,240
Speaker 1: how it feels to be that person. It's like fuck you,

1485
01:12:13,320 --> 01:12:15,000
Speaker 1: you fuck you.

1486
01:12:16,200 --> 01:12:20,120
Speaker 2: Then you're like, but I've been there, I see it.

1487
01:12:20,320 --> 01:12:21,920
Speaker 1: But I really think it's about That's why I think

1488
01:12:21,920 --> 01:12:25,000
Speaker 1: it's really important to start, like not conversations like that,

1489
01:12:25,240 --> 01:12:28,480
Speaker 1: but just like really be mindful what type of relationship

1490
01:12:28,520 --> 01:12:31,000
Speaker 1: we're making, because we know how they're gonna get and

1491
01:12:31,120 --> 01:12:33,240
Speaker 1: so we start now, maybe they'll I don't know, we

1492
01:12:33,280 --> 01:12:37,920
Speaker 1: could avoid it. Fuck, I have one more girl, Okay,

1493
01:12:40,240 --> 01:12:42,679
Speaker 1: who was the girl who she walked into the dorm

1494
01:12:42,760 --> 01:12:43,599
Speaker 1: room and was there.

1495
01:12:43,720 --> 01:12:48,439
Speaker 2: Oh god, oh my god, it's like a Beello novella.

1496
01:12:48,880 --> 01:12:51,479
Speaker 1: This is my second girlfriend ever that I guess I

1497
01:12:51,600 --> 01:12:53,200
Speaker 1: cheated on the one we just got off the phone with.

1498
01:12:53,280 --> 01:12:54,920
Speaker 2: Well, how long did this one last? This was like

1499
01:12:55,120 --> 01:12:57,240
Speaker 2: maybe a year? Okay or two?

1500
01:12:59,760 --> 01:13:04,800
Speaker 1: I can't remember this, but guess who will? She will?

1501
01:13:08,080 --> 01:13:18,880
Speaker 8: Okay, make a wish's one eleven?

1502
01:13:20,160 --> 01:13:27,720
Speaker 2: H Hi, how are you good?

1503
01:13:28,000 --> 01:13:28,759
Speaker 1: We're recording?

1504
01:13:30,080 --> 01:13:34,680
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, so this is Erica. Hi, how are you?

1505
01:13:37,160 --> 01:13:39,680
Speaker 2: I'm good, I'm good. I'm just gonna ask you if

1506
01:13:39,720 --> 01:13:41,559
Speaker 2: you you know, questions about dating Jamila?

1507
01:13:42,280 --> 01:13:43,320
Speaker 3: See how that was for you?

1508
01:13:44,640 --> 01:13:47,160
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, So how did you guys see how that was?

1509
01:13:48,200 --> 01:13:48,240
Speaker 4: You?

1510
01:13:48,840 --> 01:13:49,160
Speaker 1: Survey?

1511
01:13:49,280 --> 01:13:51,640
Speaker 2: How did you guys meet? How did you and Jamilla meet?

1512
01:13:56,080 --> 01:13:57,320
Speaker 3: Atlanta Club?

1513
01:13:57,960 --> 01:13:58,599
Speaker 4: Track side?

1514
01:13:58,760 --> 01:14:01,439
Speaker 3: Back in I don't even remember what year that was.

1515
01:14:01,680 --> 01:14:03,080
Speaker 2: Oh my god, you're making this sound like.

1516
01:14:06,640 --> 01:14:09,599
Speaker 1: Back on dirt Road, back over there, you know, over

1517
01:14:09,680 --> 01:14:12,439
Speaker 1: a back on it was a niggle to get a pop.

1518
01:14:12,600 --> 01:14:12,760
Speaker 3: You know.

1519
01:14:16,439 --> 01:14:18,080
Speaker 1: It's her a Georgia accent.

1520
01:14:19,200 --> 01:14:20,160
Speaker 2: How long did you guys date?

1521
01:14:22,120 --> 01:14:23,719
Speaker 3: I don't know, I like the years.

1522
01:14:23,760 --> 01:14:27,479
Speaker 1: Say, okay, would you say that you guys were in love.

1523
01:14:30,160 --> 01:14:33,200
Speaker 3: Uh no, no, we thought we were go right back

1524
01:14:33,280 --> 01:14:34,479
Speaker 3: in when nineteen?

1525
01:14:35,920 --> 01:14:37,439
Speaker 4: But if I want to go back here now?

1526
01:14:37,760 --> 01:14:41,080
Speaker 2: Hey, no, no, okay, you are lying.

1527
01:14:43,160 --> 01:14:45,559
Speaker 3: I mean I mean I.

1528
01:14:45,640 --> 01:14:46,200
Speaker 4: Thought we were.

1529
01:14:46,640 --> 01:14:48,040
Speaker 3: How's going on back then? Yeah?

1530
01:14:48,400 --> 01:14:49,120
Speaker 4: The lick it back?

1531
01:14:53,120 --> 01:14:53,240
Speaker 3: Was it?

1532
01:14:53,280 --> 01:14:54,519
Speaker 2: Whose fault was it? That it ended?

1533
01:14:56,200 --> 01:14:56,479
Speaker 3: Both?

1534
01:14:59,360 --> 01:15:01,519
Speaker 2: What is the Jamila's best trait?

1535
01:15:03,479 --> 01:15:04,280
Speaker 3: Her sex feel?

1536
01:15:06,120 --> 01:15:09,240
Speaker 2: Is that a trait likes what she's like, sexy, like

1537
01:15:09,320 --> 01:15:10,280
Speaker 2: the way she was.

1538
01:15:11,120 --> 01:15:14,160
Speaker 9: She just it's some type of fluidity, man, you know,

1539
01:15:14,720 --> 01:15:17,000
Speaker 9: can't denier she can stick out in the room.

1540
01:15:18,240 --> 01:15:18,600
Speaker 3: I like that.

1541
01:15:18,640 --> 01:15:21,559
Speaker 2: I agree with that. What's her worst trait.

1542
01:15:22,880 --> 01:15:23,599
Speaker 4: Or sex feel?

1543
01:15:28,800 --> 01:15:36,240
Speaker 2: I love that answer? So can you elaborate on that?

1544
01:15:40,640 --> 01:15:45,599
Speaker 3: Let's see, she knows it. She knows that she's good

1545
01:15:45,680 --> 01:15:46,360
Speaker 3: at what she does.

1546
01:15:46,479 --> 01:15:49,559
Speaker 6: She has the ability to talk anyone out of anything,

1547
01:15:51,000 --> 01:15:51,679
Speaker 6: which is great.

1548
01:15:52,080 --> 01:15:54,200
Speaker 3: It's good and bad. But you have to have.

1549
01:15:56,240 --> 01:15:57,439
Speaker 4: The dater, really, you have to.

1550
01:15:58,920 --> 01:15:59,760
Speaker 2: You have to have touch skin.

1551
01:16:00,800 --> 01:16:03,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, you gotta haves tough skin. You gotta be confident

1552
01:16:03,040 --> 01:16:07,880
Speaker 3: within yourself. Can't be like you know, all in your

1553
01:16:07,920 --> 01:16:08,719
Speaker 3: feelings and shit.

1554
01:16:08,840 --> 01:16:12,200
Speaker 9: But she's still still a caregiver, you know, So you

1555
01:16:12,320 --> 01:16:16,800
Speaker 9: just gotta look outside of just her eccentric ways, and

1556
01:16:16,880 --> 01:16:18,160
Speaker 9: note that she still loved you.

1557
01:16:18,240 --> 01:16:19,120
Speaker 1: No matter what you know?

1558
01:16:20,600 --> 01:16:24,800
Speaker 2: Right, So what would you say, Like it sounds like

1559
01:16:24,880 --> 01:16:27,320
Speaker 2: there was maybe drama in your relationship. What would you say,

1560
01:16:27,439 --> 01:16:29,840
Speaker 2: is the most dramatic thing that happened in your relationship?

1561
01:16:31,479 --> 01:16:31,839
Speaker 1: Okay?

1562
01:16:32,760 --> 01:16:37,360
Speaker 4: Oh god, you went through it quite a bit.

1563
01:16:38,040 --> 01:16:40,880
Speaker 9: I think we just you know, it was just like, uh,

1564
01:16:43,240 --> 01:16:45,719
Speaker 9: all right, we both were young and cheating and ship

1565
01:16:45,960 --> 01:16:48,639
Speaker 9: doing stuff we ain't had no business not being honest

1566
01:16:48,680 --> 01:16:49,320
Speaker 9: with you, shoulder.

1567
01:16:50,160 --> 01:16:54,519
Speaker 1: Oh so you both were cheating, were both cheated? Yeah, Okay,

1568
01:16:57,040 --> 01:16:57,760
Speaker 1: who started it?

1569
01:17:00,960 --> 01:17:01,200
Speaker 6: God?

1570
01:17:03,520 --> 01:17:04,560
Speaker 3: You did that?

1571
01:17:05,160 --> 01:17:05,599
Speaker 9: She's saying.

1572
01:17:05,640 --> 01:17:08,679
Speaker 3: I don't agree with it, because Jana is good boy.

1573
01:17:08,760 --> 01:17:11,360
Speaker 3: She was. She had a whole d like a whole

1574
01:17:12,800 --> 01:17:15,880
Speaker 3: shit o what oh my god.

1575
01:17:16,680 --> 01:17:21,320
Speaker 1: Okay, So I had a diary. Okay, I'm a huge journaler,

1576
01:17:21,640 --> 01:17:24,040
Speaker 1: or I used to be. Like growing up, I journaled,

1577
01:17:24,120 --> 01:17:28,200
Speaker 1: so like I still journaled into college. And because I journaled,

1578
01:17:28,240 --> 01:17:30,040
Speaker 1: I got in a lot of trouble from my journals

1579
01:17:30,080 --> 01:17:32,240
Speaker 1: at school with my parents. People were reading my ship.

1580
01:17:32,320 --> 01:17:34,160
Speaker 1: But I'd like to journal. So at one point I

1581
01:17:34,280 --> 01:17:37,040
Speaker 1: started like a secret code. Then I still remember till

1582
01:17:37,040 --> 01:17:39,519
Speaker 1: this day, I can write into to this day. So

1583
01:17:39,600 --> 01:17:41,960
Speaker 1: I wrote in the code, and I was telling all

1584
01:17:42,040 --> 01:17:44,160
Speaker 1: my ship and I wrote and I told I gave

1585
01:17:44,240 --> 01:17:46,120
Speaker 1: my I was like, I'm so dumb, I would think

1586
01:17:46,120 --> 01:17:47,800
Speaker 1: I was drunk. She was there and I tell my friend,

1587
01:17:47,960 --> 01:17:49,760
Speaker 1: you should know my code, and I gave her like

1588
01:17:49,800 --> 01:17:51,720
Speaker 1: a key to know my code because I wanted her

1589
01:17:51,720 --> 01:17:52,400
Speaker 1: to write to me in it.

1590
01:17:52,600 --> 01:17:57,200
Speaker 2: Whatever. I'm like, fucking eighteen nineteen, this bitch while.

1591
01:17:57,000 --> 01:18:00,519
Speaker 1: I was at school at college. She finds the she

1592
01:18:00,640 --> 01:18:02,559
Speaker 1: must have been wanting to get her hands on that key,

1593
01:18:02,920 --> 01:18:06,040
Speaker 1: and she just she like decoded my journal while I

1594
01:18:06,120 --> 01:18:08,960
Speaker 1: was at school, but you were writing a secret code,

1595
01:18:09,400 --> 01:18:11,880
Speaker 1: Like like I liked to journal, but people kept reading

1596
01:18:11,920 --> 01:18:12,200
Speaker 1: my ship.

1597
01:18:12,240 --> 01:18:12,880
Speaker 2: So I wrote in a.

1598
01:18:12,920 --> 01:18:16,120
Speaker 1: Code, like who is who's always reading your journal? My parents?

1599
01:18:17,400 --> 01:18:20,240
Speaker 2: My parents. I'm sorry to call you a bitch, just kidding,

1600
01:18:20,840 --> 01:18:25,360
Speaker 2: but like yeah, so this is like yeah.

1601
01:18:25,360 --> 01:18:32,719
Speaker 1: So continue, Okay, I don't remember. I don't remember.

1602
01:18:33,400 --> 01:18:39,400
Speaker 2: Basically, did you did you guys meet each other's parents?

1603
01:18:40,920 --> 01:18:41,160
Speaker 4: Yeah?

1604
01:18:42,080 --> 01:18:44,439
Speaker 1: I lived with her and her parents at one point.

1605
01:18:44,680 --> 01:18:46,240
Speaker 2: Oh, what are your what did your what did your

1606
01:18:47,360 --> 01:18:53,640
Speaker 2: parents think of Jamila? What about you?

1607
01:18:54,520 --> 01:18:56,920
Speaker 1: My parents liked Toya. I think my parents actually on

1608
01:18:57,000 --> 01:18:59,200
Speaker 1: this point were like I think they thought when I

1609
01:18:59,240 --> 01:19:01,280
Speaker 1: brought the first girl home that it was like h

1610
01:19:01,400 --> 01:19:03,120
Speaker 1: ha ha ha. And then I brought the second carl

1611
01:19:03,160 --> 01:19:05,280
Speaker 1: home and they're like, bitch. They were getting a little

1612
01:19:05,280 --> 01:19:10,000
Speaker 1: annoyed of my lesbianist and lesbianism. And I think we

1613
01:19:10,240 --> 01:19:12,439
Speaker 1: came We were staying at her parents house because I

1614
01:19:12,439 --> 01:19:13,800
Speaker 1: didn't want to go home for the summer because we

1615
01:19:13,840 --> 01:19:16,760
Speaker 1: were so in fucking love. And then she came home

1616
01:19:16,800 --> 01:19:18,599
Speaker 1: with me in the summer, and I think we were

1617
01:19:18,600 --> 01:19:20,280
Speaker 1: like too broke to get back. So we're there for

1618
01:19:20,360 --> 01:19:22,559
Speaker 1: like a month, and then they were getting over us both,

1619
01:19:22,640 --> 01:19:23,920
Speaker 1: and then we ended up going back.

1620
01:19:24,320 --> 01:19:30,360
Speaker 2: Mmm, would you ever get back in a relationship with Jamila?

1621
01:19:31,640 --> 01:19:32,960
Speaker 3: No? Why not?

1622
01:19:35,400 --> 01:19:36,160
Speaker 2: Wud you guys talk?

1623
01:19:36,240 --> 01:19:36,360
Speaker 4: Now?

1624
01:19:36,479 --> 01:19:37,400
Speaker 2: Do you guys ever chat?

1625
01:19:37,479 --> 01:19:37,559
Speaker 3: Now?

1626
01:19:37,760 --> 01:19:40,160
Speaker 2: Do you know like the type of you? Would you

1627
01:19:40,160 --> 01:19:41,400
Speaker 2: say that she's changed much?

1628
01:19:44,120 --> 01:19:44,320
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1629
01:19:45,200 --> 01:19:47,360
Speaker 9: I think she's definitely a chron I don't think her

1630
01:19:47,400 --> 01:19:51,959
Speaker 9: personality has changed, which is great, that's a good thing personality.

1631
01:19:52,600 --> 01:19:55,000
Speaker 2: But you couldn't You can't imagine yourself dating her again.

1632
01:19:56,600 --> 01:20:02,080
Speaker 2: I mean, no, would you got would you say that

1633
01:20:02,280 --> 01:20:05,400
Speaker 2: in your relationship you guys were like sexually in sync,

1634
01:20:05,560 --> 01:20:10,479
Speaker 2: Like you guys had like a really strong connection sexually

1635
01:20:10,560 --> 01:20:12,240
Speaker 2: or was it more like mentally.

1636
01:20:13,680 --> 01:20:18,880
Speaker 1: Not sexually not sexually, No, definitely sexually, Oh, okay.

1637
01:20:18,880 --> 01:20:20,120
Speaker 2: More sexually than mentally.

1638
01:20:22,240 --> 01:20:23,720
Speaker 4: Uh you mean now?

1639
01:20:24,000 --> 01:20:24,800
Speaker 2: Or then none?

1640
01:20:26,400 --> 01:20:28,559
Speaker 9: And it was a little bit both, I think. I mean,

1641
01:20:28,640 --> 01:20:31,080
Speaker 9: I definitely learned a great deal from Jamila. If it

1642
01:20:31,200 --> 01:20:34,080
Speaker 9: wasn't for her, to be completely honest, I would have

1643
01:20:34,200 --> 01:20:37,880
Speaker 9: known a lot of things about different cultures and things

1644
01:20:37,920 --> 01:20:38,320
Speaker 9: of sort.

1645
01:20:39,040 --> 01:20:42,840
Speaker 2: So how how would you describe her? How would you

1646
01:20:42,880 --> 01:20:43,559
Speaker 2: describe Jamila?

1647
01:20:48,280 --> 01:20:48,519
Speaker 3: Shit?

1648
01:20:48,960 --> 01:20:53,559
Speaker 9: Always happy for the most part, you know, like there's

1649
01:20:53,640 --> 01:20:55,280
Speaker 9: nothing that you can't tackle.

1650
01:20:56,240 --> 01:20:58,439
Speaker 3: And I don't even know if I ever really see her.

1651
01:20:58,360 --> 01:21:06,599
Speaker 9: Sleep, to be honest, always sleeping about sleep, good spirit,

1652
01:21:07,479 --> 01:21:08,040
Speaker 9: great person.

1653
01:21:10,520 --> 01:21:11,760
Speaker 2: What was your best date night?

1654
01:21:14,080 --> 01:21:15,760
Speaker 3: Oh, we got quite a few, you know, I was

1655
01:21:16,720 --> 01:21:18,800
Speaker 3: you know, ship ain't did around.

1656
01:21:20,479 --> 01:21:21,400
Speaker 4: A daily.

1657
01:21:26,160 --> 01:21:29,439
Speaker 3: Huh. Yeah, she gave me a surprise birthday party.

1658
01:21:30,120 --> 01:21:32,400
Speaker 2: I'm a Roman, God damn it.

1659
01:21:32,840 --> 01:21:35,280
Speaker 3: Imagine. Yeah, I mean, I mean, we have quite a

1660
01:21:35,320 --> 01:21:38,479
Speaker 3: few good days. Like it was everything. They didn't have

1661
01:21:38,600 --> 01:21:41,360
Speaker 3: a lot of bad moms to toys. Then so.

1662
01:21:43,920 --> 01:21:48,599
Speaker 2: All right, well, I don't know, hmmm's big. Sorry, I'm

1663
01:21:48,640 --> 01:21:49,120
Speaker 2: high girl.

1664
01:21:49,439 --> 01:21:53,879
Speaker 1: We got high high Now I'm like I can sotell

1665
01:21:53,920 --> 01:22:02,640
Speaker 1: you're high too, she needs help? No high ass, No,

1666
01:22:02,760 --> 01:22:04,040
Speaker 1: it's us, we're high.

1667
01:22:04,880 --> 01:22:07,639
Speaker 2: What would you say you learned from dating Jamila? Besides

1668
01:22:07,920 --> 01:22:10,519
Speaker 2: you know, I guess you said that she cultured you. Like,

1669
01:22:10,680 --> 01:22:14,160
Speaker 2: was it like something like was it like I'll never

1670
01:22:14,240 --> 01:22:16,880
Speaker 2: date someone like her again? Or was it something like I.

1671
01:22:17,080 --> 01:22:18,559
Speaker 1: I love this.

1672
01:22:21,080 --> 01:22:23,840
Speaker 9: What you said, but a long time to get over

1673
01:22:23,880 --> 01:22:26,080
Speaker 9: to because there's there's not a lot of women that

1674
01:22:26,400 --> 01:22:28,719
Speaker 9: that's a trait of hers.

1675
01:22:28,840 --> 01:22:31,920
Speaker 3: It cannot be taught, you know, that's that comes from

1676
01:22:31,960 --> 01:22:35,040
Speaker 3: a dan you know a lot of stuff. It's just her.

1677
01:22:35,160 --> 01:22:38,080
Speaker 9: It's her inter being, her personality like that cannot be

1678
01:22:38,880 --> 01:22:42,720
Speaker 9: nor limit. So it's kind of hard to hold up

1679
01:22:42,760 --> 01:22:45,320
Speaker 9: to that pet of story, you know, so.

1680
01:22:45,439 --> 01:22:49,559
Speaker 3: To be it was difficult, but I dated it right

1681
01:22:49,560 --> 01:22:54,479
Speaker 3: now about my stuff, and I was like, you know,

1682
01:22:56,040 --> 01:22:56,519
Speaker 3: you know, it's a.

1683
01:22:58,360 --> 01:22:58,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, but.

1684
01:23:00,720 --> 01:23:01,559
Speaker 4: I don't get them wrong.

1685
01:23:01,640 --> 01:23:03,439
Speaker 3: I was I was a young balk.

1686
01:23:04,680 --> 01:23:05,160
Speaker 2: You are young?

1687
01:23:05,240 --> 01:23:09,200
Speaker 3: What super.

1688
01:23:10,880 --> 01:23:11,559
Speaker 2: A little bumpkin.

1689
01:23:11,680 --> 01:23:13,880
Speaker 1: I brought an account l a girl. We're going to

1690
01:23:13,960 --> 01:23:16,160
Speaker 1: the club, but we were like doing all types of

1691
01:23:16,360 --> 01:23:19,519
Speaker 1: la ship and she's super shy. She's shy, and she's

1692
01:23:19,680 --> 01:23:21,960
Speaker 1: just like what the fuck is happening? And like we're

1693
01:23:21,960 --> 01:23:24,200
Speaker 1: going to the club. Take off your hand.

1694
01:23:24,360 --> 01:23:25,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, I.

1695
01:23:27,520 --> 01:23:30,200
Speaker 2: Got an idea has the same age. I think she's

1696
01:23:30,200 --> 01:23:30,679
Speaker 2: a year older.

1697
01:23:31,360 --> 01:23:31,760
Speaker 7: I'm real.

1698
01:23:33,000 --> 01:23:36,719
Speaker 3: Oh wow, Well yeah, that's great.

1699
01:23:38,560 --> 01:23:42,360
Speaker 2: Well, I I appreciate you. I feel like I've gotten

1700
01:23:42,400 --> 01:23:46,400
Speaker 2: to know Jamila's former dating trends to compare now to

1701
01:23:46,479 --> 01:23:50,560
Speaker 2: her current dating trends, which are different, but there's some similarities.

1702
01:23:50,600 --> 01:23:51,280
Speaker 2: And I think that's just.

1703
01:23:51,360 --> 01:23:56,760
Speaker 1: Natural right where we are who we are. But thank

1704
01:23:56,800 --> 01:23:59,559
Speaker 1: you for your time, No problem.

1705
01:24:00,400 --> 01:24:02,840
Speaker 2: Thanks, I'll call you later.

1706
01:24:04,439 --> 01:24:13,360
Speaker 1: By Okay, Oh wow, Okay, you're high.

1707
01:24:14,400 --> 01:24:16,679
Speaker 2: I'm sorry. I just felt like she I'm just high.

1708
01:24:16,880 --> 01:24:20,560
Speaker 2: I felt like I don't know, I just felt like

1709
01:24:21,520 --> 01:24:23,120
Speaker 2: she wasn't like I don't know, I don't know. I

1710
01:24:23,240 --> 01:24:25,400
Speaker 2: just wasn't getting all the answers. I felt like she

1711
01:24:25,600 --> 01:24:27,760
Speaker 2: was You both were fine. She was being very You

1712
01:24:27,840 --> 01:24:30,559
Speaker 2: were fine, too, thought me because on the last who

1713
01:24:30,640 --> 01:24:33,280
Speaker 2: told the other girl more sh about her than you

1714
01:24:33,320 --> 01:24:34,360
Speaker 2: said on the phone with her.

1715
01:24:34,479 --> 01:24:35,920
Speaker 1: Well, let me be clear and be clear.

1716
01:24:36,560 --> 01:24:43,479
Speaker 10: She I'm a very spiteful person, clearly because I just

1717
01:24:43,600 --> 01:24:47,200
Speaker 10: realized she cheated on me early, and she was the

1718
01:24:47,200 --> 01:24:47,920
Speaker 10: first person cheated.

1719
01:24:48,000 --> 01:24:48,760
Speaker 2: She was the first person.

1720
01:24:48,920 --> 01:24:55,479
Speaker 1: No, not ever in the relationship and like it was

1721
01:24:55,600 --> 01:24:57,519
Speaker 1: just in a way that to me, I did not like.

1722
01:24:57,640 --> 01:24:59,160
Speaker 1: It was so blatant, and I think I was like

1723
01:24:59,240 --> 01:25:01,599
Speaker 1: kind of like young and dumbs. I didn't say anything.

1724
01:25:02,040 --> 01:25:04,040
Speaker 1: I didn't speak up for myself. She made me feel

1725
01:25:04,240 --> 01:25:07,080
Speaker 1: super insecure about these two bitches who I look back

1726
01:25:07,160 --> 01:25:11,160
Speaker 1: and I'm like, bitch, are you dumb? And I'm just

1727
01:25:11,320 --> 01:25:13,639
Speaker 1: like I just remember feeling so I love.

1728
01:25:13,520 --> 01:25:14,240
Speaker 3: This bitch so much.

1729
01:25:14,280 --> 01:25:16,320
Speaker 1: And she was just like blatantly flirting with these girls

1730
01:25:16,360 --> 01:25:18,360
Speaker 1: in my face. And I found out that they had

1731
01:25:18,400 --> 01:25:22,280
Speaker 1: fucked around, and after that it was just like, bitch,

1732
01:25:22,320 --> 01:25:23,439
Speaker 1: you should have never fuck with me.

1733
01:25:23,560 --> 01:25:25,280
Speaker 2: So it was like, so you stayed with her? But

1734
01:25:25,400 --> 01:25:27,200
Speaker 2: then frightful shit.

1735
01:25:27,400 --> 01:25:31,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean basically I had like had a whole

1736
01:25:31,120 --> 01:25:35,560
Speaker 1: like Nigga and Philly that I was saying. Sometimes I

1737
01:25:35,640 --> 01:25:39,519
Speaker 1: got pregnant by him. He was he was fake Muslim.

1738
01:25:39,600 --> 01:25:41,839
Speaker 1: He didn't want to give me the money for an abortion,

1739
01:25:42,040 --> 01:25:44,360
Speaker 1: and shit, oh my God told me to call his

1740
01:25:44,479 --> 01:25:46,080
Speaker 1: brother because you don't believe in that. And they got

1741
01:25:46,120 --> 01:25:49,120
Speaker 1: like seven kids. Now wait, but how did she find

1742
01:25:49,120 --> 01:25:49,439
Speaker 1: this out?

1743
01:25:49,560 --> 01:25:49,720
Speaker 3: Yeah?

1744
01:25:49,720 --> 01:25:51,400
Speaker 1: Because she read my journal in the secret code.

1745
01:25:51,439 --> 01:25:53,720
Speaker 2: What the fuck is the secret code? What is the

1746
01:25:53,800 --> 01:25:55,040
Speaker 2: secret code like numbers.

1747
01:25:55,240 --> 01:25:57,880
Speaker 1: No, it's like shapes. I got shapes.

1748
01:25:58,160 --> 01:25:59,640
Speaker 2: It's fucking symbols.

1749
01:26:00,120 --> 01:26:00,879
Speaker 1: It's the alphabet.

1750
01:26:01,960 --> 01:26:02,000
Speaker 3: What.

1751
01:26:02,680 --> 01:26:06,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, how do you were writing full words with the shapes?

1752
01:26:06,280 --> 01:26:07,240
Speaker 1: Yes, the whole entry.

1753
01:26:07,640 --> 01:26:09,200
Speaker 2: Let me find out. Your mother fucking genius.

1754
01:26:09,800 --> 01:26:11,000
Speaker 1: I don't know if it makes me a genius.

1755
01:26:11,160 --> 01:26:12,439
Speaker 3: I don't. I don't know. I do.

1756
01:26:13,360 --> 01:26:15,320
Speaker 2: I couldn't do it. I could show you yet, but

1757
01:26:15,400 --> 01:26:16,519
Speaker 2: they must have been short entries.

1758
01:26:17,000 --> 01:26:19,560
Speaker 1: No, I've been doing it for years. I've had this

1759
01:26:19,640 --> 01:26:21,080
Speaker 1: since I was probably an eighth grade. I told you,

1760
01:26:21,120 --> 01:26:24,439
Speaker 1: I've had a chronic issue with journaling and people finding out.

1761
01:26:24,479 --> 01:26:26,479
Speaker 1: I got kicked out of school in seventh grade over it.

1762
01:26:26,600 --> 01:26:27,920
Speaker 2: Wait, why'd you kicked out of school?

1763
01:26:27,960 --> 01:26:29,200
Speaker 1: I went to a Lutheran school.

1764
01:26:29,280 --> 01:26:29,720
Speaker 2: I hated it.

1765
01:26:29,920 --> 01:26:31,719
Speaker 1: It was it was my first year went in private school.

1766
01:26:31,720 --> 01:26:34,240
Speaker 1: I didn't want to go. And I wrote in my

1767
01:26:34,320 --> 01:26:36,200
Speaker 1: journal at school and I was like, I said, how

1768
01:26:36,200 --> 01:26:37,680
Speaker 1: me and my mom had gotten into it? She had

1769
01:26:37,720 --> 01:26:39,760
Speaker 1: like kicked me. How I hated the school. I wanted

1770
01:26:39,800 --> 01:26:42,519
Speaker 1: to get finger banged. Literally, I'm like, I don't want

1771
01:26:42,520 --> 01:26:44,360
Speaker 1: to have sex. I want to do more than titty sucking.

1772
01:26:44,400 --> 01:26:46,519
Speaker 1: I'm like, I want to get finger banged, and they

1773
01:26:46,640 --> 01:26:48,920
Speaker 1: fucking I think that. I mean, I've gotten trouble from

1774
01:26:48,920 --> 01:26:51,160
Speaker 1: writing shit literally every day.

1775
01:26:51,280 --> 01:26:51,479
Speaker 3: You know what.

1776
01:26:51,520 --> 01:26:53,400
Speaker 1: I got in trouble for writing shit too, yeah, like

1777
01:26:53,520 --> 01:26:56,080
Speaker 1: my mom. Yeah not like that though, But like I said,

1778
01:26:56,080 --> 01:26:58,360
Speaker 1: I hated the teachers. I hated the school. Everybody was

1779
01:26:58,439 --> 01:27:00,880
Speaker 1: dumb and small minded and Christian or something. And at

1780
01:27:00,920 --> 01:27:02,439
Speaker 1: the end of the year, they're like, we don't know

1781
01:27:02,439 --> 01:27:04,559
Speaker 1: if we're going to see the nice Jamala we've seen

1782
01:27:04,600 --> 01:27:08,080
Speaker 1: all year or this this side of this sinful side

1783
01:27:08,120 --> 01:27:11,200
Speaker 1: of Jamala. Oh god side they called. They called like

1784
01:27:11,280 --> 01:27:13,640
Speaker 1: the Social services on my mom because I said, she

1785
01:27:13,800 --> 01:27:16,920
Speaker 1: like hit me, it came to my house. It was

1786
01:27:17,000 --> 01:27:17,880
Speaker 1: just a whole big deal.

1787
01:27:17,960 --> 01:27:18,160
Speaker 3: Girl.

1788
01:27:18,280 --> 01:27:20,200
Speaker 1: Then I had Then I got a note read that

1789
01:27:20,280 --> 01:27:22,320
Speaker 1: I was a lesbian in eighth grade and I loved

1790
01:27:22,360 --> 01:27:25,680
Speaker 1: my my friend Asia, who I still love, but like

1791
01:27:25,880 --> 01:27:27,479
Speaker 1: I was really in love with her then. And then

1792
01:27:27,880 --> 01:27:31,559
Speaker 1: what else? I got caught with my journal so many times.

1793
01:27:31,880 --> 01:27:35,320
Speaker 1: So then this bitch I had made a code, and

1794
01:27:35,360 --> 01:27:37,639
Speaker 1: then this bitch decodes it and finds out.

1795
01:27:38,040 --> 01:27:43,360
Speaker 2: The fact this is code. I can't fucking code. The

1796
01:27:43,479 --> 01:27:46,320
Speaker 2: bitch decoded your secret journal of shapes.

1797
01:27:46,800 --> 01:27:49,160
Speaker 1: She did Wow, I mean, right, so I'm on the board.

1798
01:27:49,479 --> 01:27:52,439
Speaker 1: I can't wait to show you this anyway. Also was

1799
01:27:52,520 --> 01:27:55,280
Speaker 1: I started fucking my friend who was my like stud

1800
01:27:55,400 --> 01:27:57,880
Speaker 1: lesbian best friend and we had it bug but then

1801
01:27:57,920 --> 01:28:01,639
Speaker 1: I started fucking her. She also read that, and then

1802
01:28:01,680 --> 01:28:04,840
Speaker 1: I actually, right after this relationship, started dating my friend

1803
01:28:04,840 --> 01:28:06,960
Speaker 1: who I cheated on her with, which was like my

1804
01:28:07,080 --> 01:28:09,600
Speaker 1: comma for all of this ship. She started dating, I

1805
01:28:09,720 --> 01:28:12,120
Speaker 1: started dating my friend who I was who I had fucked,

1806
01:28:12,200 --> 01:28:14,240
Speaker 1: But that was my karma for all of my relationships

1807
01:28:14,240 --> 01:28:15,960
Speaker 1: because she was the worst to bitch to me ever,

1808
01:28:16,200 --> 01:28:17,960
Speaker 1: chated on me so terribly. I was so in love

1809
01:28:18,000 --> 01:28:18,200
Speaker 1: with her.

1810
01:28:18,280 --> 01:28:20,000
Speaker 2: She stole money from me, she hit me.

1811
01:28:20,160 --> 01:28:24,240
Speaker 1: She was just like the worst ever. But yeah, that

1812
01:28:24,400 --> 01:28:28,000
Speaker 1: girl was being super surface and actually she's very judgmental

1813
01:28:29,600 --> 01:28:33,960
Speaker 1: and she I just had sex with her recently, like

1814
01:28:34,680 --> 01:28:36,720
Speaker 1: a couple of months ago, and the sex was still

1815
01:28:36,760 --> 01:28:38,000
Speaker 1: good actually, but.

1816
01:28:39,600 --> 01:28:40,959
Speaker 2: Yeah, she was super judgmental.

1817
01:28:41,200 --> 01:28:42,400
Speaker 1: That would never work again.

1818
01:28:42,920 --> 01:28:43,360
Speaker 2: Anyway.

1819
01:28:43,680 --> 01:28:48,000
Speaker 1: I guess the conclusion here is, don't cheat on me first.

1820
01:28:51,240 --> 01:28:54,200
Speaker 1: I will never let it go, which is really sad,

1821
01:28:54,280 --> 01:28:56,240
Speaker 1: but true, ours.

1822
01:28:56,040 --> 01:28:57,120
Speaker 2: Has more free than we think.

1823
01:28:57,360 --> 01:29:00,240
Speaker 1: Erica was once a former free but then she now

1824
01:29:00,320 --> 01:29:03,080
Speaker 1: coming back to that we are both too free to

1825
01:29:03,160 --> 01:29:06,599
Speaker 1: be dated. If you are insecure in any capacity, we're

1826
01:29:06,680 --> 01:29:09,519
Speaker 1: not to be fucked with. Get you a California girl,

1827
01:29:10,280 --> 01:29:13,400
Speaker 1: especially if from the Midwest or down south, they will

1828
01:29:13,479 --> 01:29:21,080
Speaker 1: teach you the ways anything else. And also once you

1829
01:29:21,200 --> 01:29:26,559
Speaker 1: go Eric or Jamila, good luck after that. I'm just kidding.

1830
01:29:27,800 --> 01:29:30,160
Speaker 2: I don't know. I guess it's just I don't know.

1831
01:29:30,280 --> 01:29:35,280
Speaker 2: And you know, Honor, I'm I'm really there's things about

1832
01:29:35,320 --> 01:29:37,200
Speaker 2: the past that I'm like, damn, I'm trying to get

1833
01:29:37,200 --> 01:29:38,760
Speaker 2: back to that. Then there's things about the past where

1834
01:29:38,760 --> 01:29:41,120
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm so glad I'm not there anymore, I know,

1835
01:29:41,560 --> 01:29:44,040
Speaker 2: you know, like even being able to have a conversation

1836
01:29:44,160 --> 01:29:45,880
Speaker 2: with my ex and like the are the things I

1837
01:29:45,920 --> 01:29:47,200
Speaker 2: never thought I would be able to do. And that's

1838
01:29:47,240 --> 01:29:49,920
Speaker 2: just what growth does. Even now, Like I think about

1839
01:29:49,960 --> 01:29:53,559
Speaker 2: my relationship with you know, my my my daughter's father,

1840
01:29:53,760 --> 01:29:55,679
Speaker 2: you know, like we go through shit all the time,

1841
01:29:55,800 --> 01:29:57,960
Speaker 2: I hope. But it's just if this is just a

1842
01:29:58,040 --> 01:30:03,479
Speaker 2: reminder that really time does heal things, or it gives

1843
01:30:03,520 --> 01:30:06,840
Speaker 2: you the ability to separate yourself and to see them

1844
01:30:07,000 --> 01:30:10,400
Speaker 2: and be able to have these conversations without spiraling, Like

1845
01:30:10,840 --> 01:30:13,160
Speaker 2: like I'm not gonna get off the mic right now

1846
01:30:13,320 --> 01:30:15,560
Speaker 2: and like overthink any of this shit too much, you

1847
01:30:15,640 --> 01:30:17,559
Speaker 2: know what I mean, Like, I'm not going to cry

1848
01:30:17,600 --> 01:30:19,280
Speaker 2: about it like I would have like eight years ago.

1849
01:30:19,479 --> 01:30:21,280
Speaker 2: Oh like no, it's just not.

1850
01:30:21,560 --> 01:30:24,919
Speaker 1: It's just it just was. It's just this whole episode

1851
01:30:25,000 --> 01:30:28,040
Speaker 1: for me is just because even even listening to your story,

1852
01:30:28,200 --> 01:30:29,519
Speaker 1: like I can, I can go on my mind and

1853
01:30:29,720 --> 01:30:33,679
Speaker 1: envision you, like going over treatments and flirting with your boss,

1854
01:30:33,960 --> 01:30:35,960
Speaker 1: you know, like I you know, like in a way,

1855
01:30:36,200 --> 01:30:37,800
Speaker 1: that's what even though we're not like if if you

1856
01:30:37,840 --> 01:30:40,160
Speaker 1: read a book, we'd imagine it, but even it's taking

1857
01:30:40,240 --> 01:30:42,960
Speaker 1: me back to these places and these feelings and who

1858
01:30:43,080 --> 01:30:45,559
Speaker 1: I was, and it is I'm grateful to have grown,

1859
01:30:45,720 --> 01:30:47,479
Speaker 1: and it's interesting to see the parts of me that

1860
01:30:47,640 --> 01:30:47,920
Speaker 1: have not.

1861
01:30:49,560 --> 01:30:49,720
Speaker 7: Right.

1862
01:30:50,040 --> 01:30:55,800
Speaker 1: And yeah, I feel like we've jumped into a time

1863
01:30:56,120 --> 01:30:58,520
Speaker 1: machine and went to two thousand.

1864
01:30:58,160 --> 01:31:01,479
Speaker 2: And six and I'm ready to be back quarantining because

1865
01:31:01,640 --> 01:31:03,880
Speaker 2: I don't want to be back in my time machine.

1866
01:31:04,520 --> 01:31:07,080
Speaker 1: So let's get back in this bitch, go back in

1867
01:31:07,160 --> 01:31:08,639
Speaker 1: twenty twenty where we're quarantine.

1868
01:31:11,200 --> 01:31:15,519
Speaker 2: Oh, everything's still here on my couch. I'm still here,

1869
01:31:15,680 --> 01:31:17,000
Speaker 2: still wearing a mask, and gloves.

1870
01:31:17,120 --> 01:31:17,840
Speaker 1: Okay, so.

1871
01:31:19,640 --> 01:31:24,000
Speaker 2: Thanks for joining us on our time travel and Happy

1872
01:31:24,080 --> 01:31:27,960
Speaker 2: April Fool's Day, and make sure to rate and review

1873
01:31:28,040 --> 01:31:29,360
Speaker 2: us on Apple Podcasts.

1874
01:31:30,600 --> 01:31:32,599
Speaker 1: Scroll all the way down to the bottom and find

1875
01:31:32,640 --> 01:31:34,680
Speaker 1: where it says yeah, the shit is confusing, so just

1876
01:31:34,720 --> 01:31:35,280
Speaker 1: don't give up.

1877
01:31:35,520 --> 01:31:37,800
Speaker 2: Just scrow all the way down. Do it for us, please,

1878
01:31:37,920 --> 01:31:39,160
Speaker 2: because reviews really do matter.

1879
01:31:39,280 --> 01:31:42,280
Speaker 1: And if you like our podcasts, tell a friend and

1880
01:31:42,840 --> 01:31:43,439
Speaker 1: tell Apple.

1881
01:31:45,200 --> 01:31:48,920
Speaker 2: You can also watch all of these videos on our Patreon,

1882
01:31:49,720 --> 01:31:53,040
Speaker 2: and we also have some extra bonus episodes on Patreon

1883
01:31:53,160 --> 01:31:56,000
Speaker 2: that you can't find anywhere else. We have some sex

1884
01:31:56,080 --> 01:31:58,680
Speaker 2: positions one oh one that you don't want to miss

1885
01:31:58,720 --> 01:32:01,240
Speaker 2: out on, so go to You.

1886
01:32:01,320 --> 01:32:03,519
Speaker 1: Can't just go to Patreon and type us in because

1887
01:32:03,520 --> 01:32:06,400
Speaker 1: we're explicit. You have to go to patreon dot com

1888
01:32:06,560 --> 01:32:11,160
Speaker 1: backslash Good Mom's Bad Choices to find us, and yeah,

1889
01:32:11,200 --> 01:32:14,960
Speaker 1: there's extra content that you won't get anywhere else. And

1890
01:32:15,120 --> 01:32:18,519
Speaker 1: also join our newsletter at Goodmomsbad Choices dot com. And

1891
01:32:18,600 --> 01:32:21,240
Speaker 1: if you're not already following us, follow us on Instagram

1892
01:32:21,320 --> 01:32:23,680
Speaker 1: at Good Mom's Underscore Bad Choices.

1893
01:32:24,040 --> 01:32:26,080
Speaker 2: And we will see you next week.

1894
01:32:26,720 --> 01:32:27,400
Speaker 9: Have a great week.

1895
01:32:27,640 --> 01:32:27,880
Speaker 3: Bye,