Speaker 1: Once upon a time there was a good old traditional housewife.
Speaker 1: She couldn't She cleaned and cared for her children and
Speaker 1: the man of the house, and of course she didn't
Speaker 1: talk back. She was both obedient and soft by nature.
Speaker 1: She was a good woman who always made good choice.
Speaker 2: Ship.
Speaker 3: We're good Mom's Bad Choices.
Speaker 4: You single mom who said fuck the patriarchy, shared all
Speaker 4: their bad choices and.
Speaker 3: Found out they were so bad after all.
Speaker 4: We're experts, Overshares and your new besties.
Speaker 3: Sit back and enjoy the ride.
Speaker 4: Welcome back to good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica and
Speaker 4: I'm Mela.
Speaker 3: Happy Wednesday?
Speaker 2: Did she happy?
Speaker 4: Hemp day House? Would it? Do?
Speaker 3: I have my favorite hoe in the building?
Speaker 4: Do you really?
Speaker 3: First off, I am no longer that babbite. You'll always
Speaker 3: be a hoe in my eye.
Speaker 2: We had hovered.
Speaker 5: Okay, So if you're listening to this podcast, you already
Speaker 5: know who it is because you know that voice.
Speaker 2: If you don't, let me introduce myself. Because your girl's
Speaker 2: an author. Now I'm ann author. No, it's your girl.
Speaker 2: May be one half of the decisions decisions formally horrible
Speaker 2: decisions emphasis on whrror and now the author of no
Speaker 2: Hol's bar.
Speaker 4: Hey, well, welcome to the show. Welcome to the author club.
Speaker 2: Baby, no ship, I'm trying to catch up to y'all. Guy, damn,
Speaker 2: how does it feel?
Speaker 4: Y'all?
Speaker 2: Are what a year and a half? Two years?
Speaker 3: Two years?
Speaker 2: In two years? And as authors? Did it change? Like
Speaker 2: the price of y'all's pussy?
Speaker 5: Like I wrote a birl, this is your interview. Oh
Speaker 5: look at ye, send your little podcasting ass now.
Speaker 4: But yes, the price, look at me?
Speaker 2: I go write it to interview And y'all, what the
Speaker 2: fuck is wrong with you?
Speaker 4: Any guy I date? Have you ever such an author?
Speaker 4: I didn't think so.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm not gonna lie even going on the breakfast club.
Speaker 2: Holy shit, I don't even think I can fuck anyone
Speaker 2: regular anymore? Like your girl been on the fucking breakfast club?
Speaker 4: Okay, Like I mean, after you hit certain blacks in
Speaker 4: your career, you're like, do you know where the fuck
Speaker 4: I am?
Speaker 2: Oh? That's just listen during the week, like the drop
Speaker 2: of the book. If they get me on, like Jimmy
Speaker 2: Kimmel or something like that, it's fucking over. I mean,
Speaker 2: I'll become a fucking nun because I'm gonna feel like
Speaker 2: no one is worthy of my pussy.
Speaker 4: Have you been to the Breakfast Club? Oh you haven't?
Speaker 2: All right, Sorry, we're not in the same We can't.
Speaker 2: You know, we can't do this. But no, it's it's
Speaker 2: been dope.
Speaker 4: I understand that. Did your price go up after you
Speaker 4: won the Breakfast Club Erica?
Speaker 3: I was already had a.
Speaker 2: I was gonna say, y'all got, y'all got?
Speaker 4: Man? I tell her Landa all the time.
Speaker 2: What the fuck are you talking to?
Speaker 4: I'm an author? He tries to talk about my spelling
Speaker 4: and should like, do you know have you read a book?
Speaker 4: I didn't fucking think so.
Speaker 2: Zip it? Man, he's agreeing over there, He's like yeah,
Speaker 2: and then you.
Speaker 4: Guess me, he says, No, I that'sked about the fuck
Speaker 4: I thought.
Speaker 2: That's what I thought. No, it's it's it's interesting now
Speaker 2: because like, Okay, been talking on the podcast saying all
Speaker 2: my whole ship over the last eight years, right, but
Speaker 2: people are just now getting into podcast us and it's
Speaker 2: now a part of life, right, bitch. Books are forever.
Speaker 2: People have been reading since the fucking the Bible, right,
Speaker 2: they've been reading you know what I mean, Jesus Basically,
Speaker 2: I'm basically a Bible Thumper, Mark, what are they?
Speaker 4: What are the People's name is Mark, Jeremiah and them
Speaker 4: John Them.
Speaker 2: My story isn't a book to b.
Speaker 4: So yeah, it was.
Speaker 2: I think though some of the stories from the podcast
Speaker 2: are in here, but in such a different way, like
Speaker 2: I remember and maybe we could talk about anything that
Speaker 2: y'all have shared that you see it. And when we
Speaker 2: first started the book, it was really important for me
Speaker 2: and me and Weezy didn't agree on this at all.
Speaker 2: I was like, I need to be able to include
Speaker 2: my shame and being someone who sexually liberated. She felt
Speaker 2: like it went against the purpose of our brand, like
Speaker 2: we celebrate sex, you can't put shame in there. And
Speaker 2: I was like, you.
Speaker 4: Acknowledge this actual liberation without what you had to come
Speaker 4: to period.
Speaker 2: And so I was in this therapeutic journey like really
Speaker 2: like going back into what what my sexual history look
Speaker 2: like and in the reflection, really feeling like really bad
Speaker 2: about a lot of the decisions I've made, the men
Speaker 2: I let inside me around me, And so I was
Speaker 2: just happy to include that because that's what you kind
Speaker 2: of don't get on the podcast, like it's not as
Speaker 2: much reflection you get. You get the fucking regret of
Speaker 2: these niggas, but not like I'm literally in that book
Speaker 2: being like, yeah, you were fucking pathetic, you were desperate,
Speaker 2: you were actually insecure. Like I have a whole chapter
Speaker 2: do married men really treat you better?
Speaker 5: I wouldn't ask you about that because that, Yeah, I
Speaker 5: saw that chapter. I wanted to ask you, like do.
Speaker 2: They Well, so, so it's a chapter about and you.
Speaker 3: Know how funny.
Speaker 5: Way let's go for a second because Okay, so I've
Speaker 5: watched you through a few different phases. I saw I
Speaker 5: met you during your married man phase. Yes, and so
Speaker 5: that that was like when we first came on horrible
Speaker 5: decisions and we went, yeah, you were telling me a
Speaker 5: bunch of ship and we realized that we knew a
Speaker 5: nigga that you pegged and did.
Speaker 4: Was that the same that all one meeting?
Speaker 2: Oh, that first meeting.
Speaker 4: It was great, nic that was iconic meeting.
Speaker 2: I don't think I've met anyone and fell in love
Speaker 2: so quickly, like we're best friends now, like and we
Speaker 2: weren't supposed to like each other, but we did. And
Speaker 2: literally it was it was a story of like adult
Speaker 2: womanhood friendships meets New York that would happen nowhere else.
Speaker 2: We were fucking swinging topless in a rich man's fucking
Speaker 2: loft looking over the Brooklyn.
Speaker 5: Bridge to some strangers apartment that had like church windows.
Speaker 4: Wait wait wait wait wait wait church windows ketemy wait wait.
Speaker 4: The fact that they were sitting at the table behind
Speaker 4: us like they weren't even like we didn't even pass
Speaker 4: them in the club. There was hey, what are you
Speaker 4: doing after this? Call us? Okay, come over.
Speaker 3: Like sure, no problem, we love you.
Speaker 2: Hey, no knowing now. So it's one of those things too.
Speaker 2: Being able to put all my like hotels and growth
Speaker 2: in a book reminds me of how many times I
Speaker 2: could have ended up chopped.
Speaker 4: Up in how many holy hey, you are you supposed
Speaker 4: to be here?
Speaker 6: Like?
Speaker 2: Because what the fuck? I didn't come across the craigsflis killer,
Speaker 2: but very well probably could have. Like it's crazy, but
Speaker 2: during that time you were in that you were you
Speaker 2: were in a different season of your life, and you
Speaker 2: had told me that you were very and you were
Speaker 2: very convincing because you had a lot of whenever.
Speaker 3: You're going through, whatever it is, whatever you're in, you
Speaker 3: have conviction.
Speaker 5: Okay, I say, I mean he's standing she's standing ten
Speaker 5: toes down, honey, Because I said, I was asking you
Speaker 5: about married men and you were like, oh no, I
Speaker 5: love being was like, I love being the side chick.
Speaker 3: It's great, it's perfect.
Speaker 2: It's crazy because and I do actually lean into that
Speaker 2: into why I thought they were amazing. I felt like
Speaker 2: I got the best version of that man. I never
Speaker 2: was jealous of the wife, never wanted to be the wife.
Speaker 2: I genuinely, I genuinely felt like, this is fun. There's
Speaker 2: no responsibility to each other, and I enjoyed or at
Speaker 2: least believed they were being honest with me. Honestly means
Speaker 2: a lot in some capacity.
Speaker 4: You're probably right. There's a husband that's cheating. He's probably
Speaker 4: giving the worst pieces of himself to his wife and
Speaker 4: then coming out it's like what it says to say
Speaker 4: the weekend, Like, yeah, the weekend, so you're gonna he's
Speaker 4: gonna bring the fun and the track.
Speaker 2: By the way, I just want to read how I
Speaker 2: started this off, because this is how much conviction I have,
Speaker 2: like like and and that's what I did with the book.
Speaker 2: I started off with how exactly my mind was at
Speaker 2: this time, and then I look back and be like, oh,
Speaker 2: bit just because you had no self worth. I tell
Speaker 2: myself about myself. So it says I would like to
Speaker 2: let it be known that I have been a proud
Speaker 2: member of the Side Chick Committee, on the board of
Speaker 2: the Mistress Missions, and an elected official to the Jezebel
Speaker 2: Justice League. Does that make me a piece of shit? Perhaps?
Speaker 2: And I lead it to just yeah, I was all
Speaker 2: with it.
Speaker 5: And when I asked you, because I asked you in
Speaker 5: that same I think meeting, I said have you ever
Speaker 5: have you ever been in a relationship? And you were like, no,
Speaker 5: at that time, I never met a girlfriend. You had
Speaker 5: never even been a girlfriends.
Speaker 2: As a whole adult, Like my first relationship was at
Speaker 2: the age of thirty twenty nine going thirty from the pandemic.
Speaker 2: You guys met him, and I think that that was
Speaker 2: my thing too. I was so glad it took us
Speaker 2: some time to write this book because when we started it,
Speaker 2: even the proposal, the chapters were so different because I
Speaker 2: was still with him, so.
Speaker 3: He would have been like a golden style.
Speaker 2: He would have been in here like I finally found love,
Speaker 2: Oh my god. And so we ended up breaking up
Speaker 2: and there were so many chapters and that I had
Speaker 2: to switch. But also it was so hard to remember
Speaker 2: the good fun, even sexual moments, because I hated him
Speaker 2: so much at the time. I ended up going through
Speaker 2: therapy and finding all the beauty that was that relationship
Speaker 2: because it taught me like, oh I do like intimacy,
Speaker 2: I do like this. Like that relationship. Yes, was a
Speaker 2: fucking emotional roller coaster, but it taught me so much
Speaker 2: about the love that I deserve to have. Now. Whether
Speaker 2: it was real or not, who fucking knows, because he's
Speaker 2: a narcissist. But when it felt good, it felt really good,
Speaker 2: and I said, oh, I deserve this type of feeling,
Speaker 2: and so that's like, that's I guess one good thing
Speaker 2: that I got from that fuck Now.
Speaker 5: I will say as authors ourselves, I realized too. I
Speaker 5: think that when you decide to go on this literary journey,
Speaker 5: like it actually takes you like energetically, like you're not
Speaker 5: going to finish the book in the same place that
Speaker 5: you started the book, Like you're just not you're not
Speaker 5: for us.
Speaker 3: It took us almost two years.
Speaker 2: Two years I remember you guys would be in Costa
Speaker 2: Rica literally like we're here to get away from the
Speaker 2: noise and write our book, and we and.
Speaker 5: We hadn't led a retreat, and by the time we
Speaker 5: finished this book, we had led retreats, and so we
Speaker 5: had been in city, we had with women, and we
Speaker 5: had a totally different perspective as to why this book
Speaker 5: was important. So like hearing that, and like hearing the
Speaker 5: journey that you're on, I feel like other authors that
Speaker 5: are writing books like Don't Rush, just.
Speaker 2: Because it becomes so much more full and representative of
Speaker 2: who you really are, especially a book that's nonfiction that
Speaker 2: includes your stories like do Not Rush, Don't don't, don't
Speaker 2: give yourself the three months deadline, Because even through my
Speaker 2: therapy journey and the ending of that relationship, this shaped
Speaker 2: out to be so much better than I would have
Speaker 2: Like at the end of the book, it was supposed
Speaker 2: to be, Oh my god, your girl finally found love
Speaker 2: and I got my soulmate and da da Da da,
Speaker 2: and there were gonna be multiple chapters even about just
Speaker 2: him with that relationship ending. The end of the book
Speaker 2: ends up really talking about my disconnection to, or my
Speaker 2: disassociation to the word need, and it stemmed from me
Speaker 2: needing men financially a long time, me needing them to
Speaker 2: somewhat survive, which is why I talk about how I
Speaker 2: hate the transactional sex I was having. So it ends
Speaker 2: in the power of me being able to want a
Speaker 2: man not need them. And even though men are always like, yeah,
Speaker 2: women need men, I'm like, no, there's so much power
Speaker 2: in being able to exist and not need you to
Speaker 2: complete me. Because I love myself now I'm happy. But
Speaker 2: also I get to choose you because I like you,
Speaker 2: not because I like your pocket, not because you can
Speaker 2: put a rupo. But it's not it's not for survival.
Speaker 5: Do you think that your survival like relationship with survival
Speaker 5: as it pertains to men, does that come from anything
Speaker 5: in particular, like in your childhood or maybe the first
Speaker 5: time you had sex, Like where does that? Is it
Speaker 5: something maybe you saw your mom go through?
Speaker 2: Oh for sure, I felt like so. My mom always
Speaker 2: took care of men and they've cheated, they were disrespectful
Speaker 2: to her, they all that, and so me growing up,
Speaker 2: I was always like, oh, I'm gonna have a rich
Speaker 2: nigga because I ain't gonna have someone broke and disrespect me.
Speaker 2: Like my mom wore two jobs. She was a single parent,
Speaker 2: and then men would come in the house. She would
Speaker 2: pay they phone bill, cook, clean, do everything, and just
Speaker 2: be miserable. And I'm like, yeah, no, I'm if this
Speaker 2: is what a relationship looks like, I'm gonna do it
Speaker 2: in a mansion like I was saying, I was gonna
Speaker 2: cry and a Rose Royce, not a Honda, you know,
Speaker 2: very early on. But I didn't see any healthy, any
Speaker 2: healthy relationships growing up. And then my dad at the
Speaker 2: time was a human atm and I mentioned that, like,
Speaker 2: if we needed anything financially, my mom was trapped. She
Speaker 2: didn't have it, Go ask, go ask daddy. And then
Speaker 2: what ended up happening was he even weaponized the fact
Speaker 2: that he paid child support. Me and my dad don't
Speaker 2: talk now. He feels like he is owed for his
Speaker 2: entire life because he paid child support. Bitch. You paid
Speaker 2: a little four hundred dollars a month, thinking that we
Speaker 2: was bitch. And now that I'm adult, I was like
Speaker 2: a week literally and there's three of there were three
Speaker 2: of us. He was paying for two kids thinking it
Speaker 2: was doing something. Mind you, Yes, eggs weren't thirty six
Speaker 2: dollars back then. Terrorists over here, but it was just like, boy,
Speaker 2: like I'm an adult now that that little piece of
Speaker 2: change ain't do shit, and so like for me now
Speaker 2: being able to view my dad as an adult, yuck,
Speaker 2: I wouldn't even be friends with a nigga like you
Speaker 2: you know what I mean? And so yeah, I think
Speaker 2: growing up seeing that relationship between men and women, money
Speaker 2: absolutely was what it was. But I dive into in
Speaker 2: the What's Your Price? Chapter, I dive into transactional sex
Speaker 2: and the fact that I know it was survival sex
Speaker 2: for me, like I had rent to pay.
Speaker 3: Do you remember the first time you had transactional transactional cool?
Speaker 2: Okay? So yes, and no, there's there's one in here
Speaker 2: that was real transactional. Now, when I was in high school,
Speaker 2: I was dating athletes, so like I remember just dealing
Speaker 2: with men with money, and.
Speaker 5: You were Dad got fashional athletes in high school? How
Speaker 5: are you sourcing these?
Speaker 2: Well? When I met on Facebook while he was in
Speaker 2: college and he got drafted, he was from Atlanta. Ended
Speaker 2: up I talk about him in the book because he
Speaker 2: was on a mission to make me squirt?
Speaker 4: Did you tell the people that they were in the book?
Speaker 2: Some people, but the ones in which the stories that
Speaker 2: I talk about it, there's no identifiers, like this isn't
Speaker 2: you're not gonna get this isn't superhead, right, So yeah,
Speaker 2: I talk about an athlete that wanted to make me squirt,
Speaker 2: and then I talk about the athlete that stealthed me
Speaker 2: and how I had the problem with navigating the assault.
Speaker 2: I didn't even think.
Speaker 3: I was assaulted, but he stealthed you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so he removed the condom without my knowledge and
Speaker 2: came in me while I was blindfolded. Oh wow, So
Speaker 2: so here here I am, I'm maybe maybe twenty four,
Speaker 2: twenty four years old, we're having sex. I agree to
Speaker 2: go down there, and so I agreed and consented for
Speaker 2: us to fuck, agreed for him to blindfold me. We
Speaker 2: agreed for him to wear a condom. Never wanted a
Speaker 2: kids was an option. And he's like, oh, he's a
Speaker 2: fucking athlete. So literally he blindfolds me. We're fucking. It's great.
Speaker 2: He finishes, and before he removes my blindfold, he stops
Speaker 2: me and it's like, you're gonna be mad.
Speaker 3: Oh no, that is what he said.
Speaker 2: And I was like, what if I'm gonna be mad for?
Speaker 2: And of course he gas lipped me and was like, uh,
Speaker 2: it just was feeling so good. It was just too
Speaker 2: good to what I had to like, and so he
Speaker 2: paid for my Plan B and he gave me a
Speaker 2: thousand dollars and I literally talk about wow, like I
Speaker 2: was a saultant, but the psychology around it was but
Speaker 2: it felt good and I took the money. So and
Speaker 2: there's always been just like this conflated thing, and I
Speaker 2: think we're talking about it now seeing the Diddy case,
Speaker 2: right when you have the power dynamic, this super megabig
Speaker 2: you know, football player in his prime at the time
Speaker 2: as well, and he gave you money, and the guilt.
Speaker 4: And shame about I already agreed to X, Y and Z,
Speaker 4: so I'm obviously guilty about a you know. And it's
Speaker 4: like it's not the well, it's because we're just living
Speaker 4: in a society that like doesn't really encourage or celebrate
Speaker 4: women that say, Yo, that wasn't right, Yo, that was
Speaker 4: fucking assault. It's almost like, no, you aren't. You shouldn't
Speaker 4: have done that. But it's like if I go fucking
Speaker 4: rob a bank and then also kill the teller, like
Speaker 4: I'm a thief and like and a murderer, like there's
Speaker 4: certain you can't you can't just say because a woman
Speaker 4: has agreed to do certain things, and she is a
Speaker 4: deserving of assault or deserving of being like blatantly lied to,
Speaker 4: deserving of being like a boundary clock crossed. And it's
Speaker 4: so like deeply ingrained into our society that we also
Speaker 4: adopt the fucked up narrative that like I deserved this.
Speaker 2: But not only that is the advancement of knowledge and language,
Speaker 2: bitch stealthing. I just learned about what the fuck that was.
Speaker 2: So I even start that chapter with I'm God's chosen
Speaker 2: because I didn't get sexually assaulted till twenty seven. Then
Speaker 2: I go back and realize, oh, wait, no, there was
Speaker 2: there was an assault at seven that I put in
Speaker 2: the back of my brain, and then the assault at
Speaker 2: not only twenty three. Two athletes did that to me.
Speaker 2: The other one didn't get the story. He didn't make
Speaker 2: it in the book, but there were two and when
Speaker 2: I was eighteen, and the second time I was twenty three.
Speaker 2: So here I go thinking like, who, I'm God's chosen
Speaker 2: because it took so long for me to experience this
Speaker 2: sexual assault, that this baggage, this trauma that most women carry,
Speaker 2: not even realizing.
Speaker 4: Oh it's happening also times.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you just didn't even know, yes, you felt
Speaker 2: like you were violated, but at the time, that wasn't
Speaker 2: a conversation about being sexual assault.
Speaker 4: And he's also very confusing because at seven at like
Speaker 4: I'm also someone who's been assault like molested at a
Speaker 4: young age. At some point, just your body is going
Speaker 4: to be aroused it feels good, and then there's the confusion, like,
Speaker 4: but it felt good and my body responded this way,
Speaker 4: but then I'm holding the guilt and like confusion. You
Speaker 4: your body, literally the trauma in your body is also confused,
Speaker 4: and so it takes for you to have the language,
Speaker 4: it takes for you to feel empowered and independent enough
Speaker 4: to be like wait, hold up. And a lot of
Speaker 4: times when you're that young, your body hides those type
Speaker 4: of those type of that type of trauma from you
Speaker 4: because you can't handle it. You can't process it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can't.
Speaker 4: The only think it knows is to block it out
Speaker 4: and to block it out and to numb yourself out.
Speaker 4: And what will happen in adulthood. You'll have consensual sex
Speaker 4: and be able to easily block shit out or go
Speaker 4: so far, and then when you don't want to do something,
Speaker 4: it's easy for you to be like okay, because you've
Speaker 4: done that even in places you don't remember a lot
Speaker 4: of times and you're like, oh okay, and you just
Speaker 4: shut down and you leave your body. And I've done
Speaker 4: it so many times and like not realizing, like why
Speaker 4: do I feel this way inside? But it's not connecting
Speaker 4: to like my heart and my mind because bitch, you
Speaker 4: don't even remember. So there's like such deep psychology like
Speaker 4: that goes with it that it takes a lot of
Speaker 4: time to like educate yourself and really be brave enough
Speaker 4: to dig back in to your history and after because
Speaker 4: a lot of times when that happens to you, I
Speaker 4: don't want to remember this shit. No, but then you
Speaker 4: have the opportunity to have like I feel like it's
Speaker 4: like literary therapy.
Speaker 2: This no, this was I sat with my therapist to
Speaker 2: get like I brought up so much of my childhood
Speaker 2: that I've been with my therapist for four years. We
Speaker 2: got to my childhood when we got to this book.
Speaker 2: Because I disconnect myself from my past. I hate my
Speaker 2: teenage self and I am in spite right now of
Speaker 2: who I was in my twenties. I'm like she she was,
Speaker 2: I literally talk in like third person. She was I
Speaker 2: hate all the stuff she did, and I and I
Speaker 2: talk like it's it's not me, not realizing that I
Speaker 2: don't get to sit here and talk to y'all and
Speaker 2: be this empowered person without the shit that she did,
Speaker 2: or without the mistakes she made and learned from. So
Speaker 2: it was like the therapy process of this was so dope.
Speaker 2: And then it continued after. Right after I finished the book,
Speaker 2: I went celibate, and and celibate abstinent. Don't fucking come
Speaker 2: from you, bitches. I don't go to church, but it's
Speaker 2: one of them, got damn words. So I went celibate
Speaker 2: and stopped drinking because I had to have the reality
Speaker 2: check of my relationship with sex and liquor, sex and alcohol,
Speaker 2: my safety with men. I have to drink to fuck.
Speaker 4: For a long time I did too, been blacking so
Speaker 4: you don't feel you know, oh, they're attached to it.
Speaker 2: There's times where I've woken up with partners and been like,
Speaker 2: DDE fuck last night because of blacking out, Like and
Speaker 2: it had to be like, WHOA, not only are you
Speaker 2: drinking to fuck this thing that you enjoy, right, you're
Speaker 2: drinking because you don't feel safe. I learned that I'm
Speaker 2: not the extrovert party girl I thought I was. I'm
Speaker 2: really a recluse and like to be alone and really
Speaker 2: don't like people like that. I thought I liked being
Speaker 2: around a whole lot of mo the parking, No, bitch,
Speaker 2: it's because every time you go out you have a
Speaker 2: drink in your hand. And so learning myself through the
Speaker 2: book process, but then also through cold turking liquor and
Speaker 2: sex also transformative.
Speaker 4: One time, I mean Orlando were having and he choked
Speaker 4: me out and I was riding him, and I had
Speaker 4: like went out to eat and I had like my
Speaker 4: tie or something, and like he choked me, and I
Speaker 4: was riding him and I was fine, and then I
Speaker 4: must have like blacked out. I must have fainted a
Speaker 4: little bit. And then I came back and I looked
Speaker 4: at him and I had to like the first thing
Speaker 4: I thought was like, oh my god, like I drank
Speaker 4: too much, Like I didn't remember where I was at,
Speaker 4: and I just start crying. He's like, oh, you didn't
Speaker 4: like that. I was like, no, that just took me
Speaker 4: to a place that I haven't been to in a
Speaker 4: very long time.
Speaker 2: Oh wow.
Speaker 4: And there's been times I've been with niggas and I
Speaker 4: blacked out drunk, and I'm like, who is what? Oh? Uh? Yeah,
Speaker 4: you know, but like, wow, it just dragged it drugged
Speaker 4: me back into a space that I had not been
Speaker 4: in so long. And it took me a minute to
Speaker 4: like to put it together, like why was I so
Speaker 4: triggered by him? Like by that? But I was like no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 4: I don't I don't like that because my first thing
Speaker 4: was like how much did I drink? Yeah, knowing that
Speaker 4: that is a pattern that I had been in heavily
Speaker 4: in my twenties and I had come out of it
Speaker 4: and been in a safe space, but that reminded me
Speaker 4: and it triggered me so deeply and remembering like, oh, bitch,
Speaker 4: there's still some work that you need to do behind
Speaker 4: these acts, behind these things that you did that you
Speaker 4: detach yourself from. And yes, you've come a long way,
Speaker 4: but you don't really come a long way without digging
Speaker 4: back into what the fuck? What the fuck was I doing?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 3: Why?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm really proud of you for being able to
Speaker 4: be here because it has been quite a journey and
Speaker 4: such an evolution.
Speaker 3: How long were you celibate for?
Speaker 2: I did I think I was celibate longer than I
Speaker 2: went without loquor. I was just proud that I was
Speaker 2: able to make I made two and a half months,
Speaker 2: almost three months without liquor celibacy. I went maybe four
Speaker 2: and a half five months.
Speaker 4: Are you because you took that break? Do you feel
Speaker 4: like you're hype? I mean, obviously you're drinking, like, but
Speaker 4: like more aware of when you're going too far and
Speaker 4: when you're not feeling safe.
Speaker 2: I started getting like like, and I've had lovers of
Speaker 2: mine be like, Damn, you gotta drink to fuck me.
Speaker 2: They've said that. They've said that to my face, and
Speaker 2: I'm like, damn, and I mean, shit, you know what
Speaker 2: I mean. And that was a hard pital swallow because damn,
Speaker 2: you're picking up something that I know.
Speaker 4: I'm ugh but I haven't I don't want to put yet.
Speaker 2: That I haven't unpacked yet. And so that was that
Speaker 2: was like the push that I needed to do that.
Speaker 2: And yeah, so that was like I guess from October
Speaker 2: August through the top of the year. I ended up
Speaker 2: fucking on New Year's on an island. But but yeah,
Speaker 2: I that that work. Oh, just don't even get me
Speaker 2: into it.
Speaker 3: But no, let's get into it. Yeah, that's all.
Speaker 2: So the crazy part about realizing that connection. And it's
Speaker 2: so crazy because I have a sister who's twenty seven.
Speaker 2: My mom is fifty five. I'm thirty four. Without any
Speaker 2: of us crossed talking to each other. I spoke to
Speaker 2: both of them separately. They're in therapy doing the same
Speaker 2: thing I'm doing. Why do I not feel safe with men?
Speaker 4: Because you healing? Heals your lady, damn.
Speaker 2: Like men like so I talk about my sexual assaulting year,
Speaker 2: and the embarrassing part is as someone who's only been
Speaker 2: with black men, who only wants to be with black men,
Speaker 2: I was so mad that all my assault hers were black.
Speaker 2: I literally say it in the book, like not even
Speaker 2: why did he assault me? Fuck? Why was he black?
Speaker 2: Why did my brother do that to me? Like? Why
Speaker 2: would he? You know what I mean? I was pissed
Speaker 2: at that.
Speaker 4: I was a place that's supposed to be a safe space,
Speaker 4: a place that you're supposed to feel safe, a place
Speaker 4: for having me cry. I think you're ready to come
Speaker 4: on the retreat now.
Speaker 2: No, I'm trying to catch you.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but it's it's deep, and it's necessary and it's
Speaker 4: important that your audience, and our audience sees you vulnerable
Speaker 4: and sees you talking about this because like you said,
Speaker 4: like it's one thing to like he he and ha
Speaker 4: ha and talk about the sex and make light of it,
Speaker 4: and like you kind of have to to like to
Speaker 4: get to that part, to get to this point, like
Speaker 4: we have to celebrate deeply. We have to celebrate ourselves
Speaker 4: so deeply in all of our things that that we
Speaker 4: feel safe coming to the place where like I wasn't
Speaker 4: safe and this is why I acted out this way.
Speaker 5: Well, I think a lot of I think to a
Speaker 5: lot of sexual empowerment unfortunately that we see on the internet,
Speaker 5: and the key keying and the laughing is because the
Speaker 5: women haven't got actually gone under the surface and really
Speaker 5: explored the darkest parts of why they feel like they
Speaker 5: need to show up, why they absolutely or why people
Speaker 5: or why women are hyper sexual Like is it actual?
Speaker 5: Is this actually you? Or is this your trauma coming through?
Speaker 5: But this is a form of protection because you actually
Speaker 5: don't feel safe and you actually want to repel everyone
Speaker 5: from you. And this is how I show up. This
Speaker 5: is me be me being confident in my sexuality because
Speaker 5: this is my actually my protection from the people that
Speaker 5: have hurt me, and even further than that, like I
Speaker 5: think a lot of two like with men black men,
Speaker 5: specifically black women, US protecting black men to not wanting
Speaker 5: to not wanting to.
Speaker 2: Set them go to jail.
Speaker 4: Well, there's a huge community like yeah, you know, it's
Speaker 4: a huge no snitch community that well.
Speaker 2: It's fucking ridiculous.
Speaker 4: Like even when you hurt me, I'm still considering.
Speaker 2: Like the thought is to protect the abuser, yes, and
Speaker 2: yes you know like that that that it sucks. It sucks,
Speaker 2: And I think the work that has to be done
Speaker 2: in order to feel empowered is what I'm realizing is
Speaker 2: is sexual liberation. It's not just having the freedom to
Speaker 2: go and fuck whoever you want to. It's also knowing
Speaker 2: what your desires are, what you want, what makes good,
Speaker 2: and making sure you're doing the pleasure for yourself. Like
Speaker 2: I tell myself, I'm a pathetic bitch multiple times because
Speaker 2: I even talk about how wow, sex was actually the
Speaker 2: way in which I came across confident because if a
Speaker 2: man fucked me, I got the validation that I like,
Speaker 2: my whole confidence was centered and if it was wet
Speaker 2: that juicy, the men wanted it the type been I
Speaker 2: got and I was like, oh wow, I'm like not
Speaker 2: confident at all, and I'm seeking validation through the places
Speaker 2: I'm not. I don't even feel safe technically, the niggas
Speaker 2: who don't respect me outside of the bedroom, like there's
Speaker 2: there's very little respect in. This is such a temporary moment.
Speaker 2: This is how I feel good about myself and it
Speaker 2: it that was a hard pill to swallow.
Speaker 3: Too, Like your empowerment was totally linked to sex.
Speaker 2: It was it was false, like it was false, and
Speaker 2: I was like, damn, did you did you like yourself?
Speaker 2: And I think that that's I think that that's what
Speaker 2: this journey in therapy has done. It has gotten me
Speaker 2: to like value myself so much more.
Speaker 4: Bitch.
Speaker 2: It's hard to fuck niggas now because I mean, like,
Speaker 2: you don't desire it is, Bitch, you don't even know. Bitch,
Speaker 2: I'm I love myself. It's a little harder to fuck
Speaker 2: it shit like because I know what I deserve. I
Speaker 2: have the words in vocabulary to say, this is how
Speaker 2: I want to be treated. These are the things I want.
Speaker 2: And as soon as a man admits the baby, a
Speaker 2: man will tell you what he can't do for you
Speaker 2: and it's up to you to accept it or not.
Speaker 2: So as soon as a man lets me know he
Speaker 2: can't show up, how I would like him to show up?
Speaker 2: Oh baby, we ain't got nothing else to talk about.
Speaker 2: It ain't gonna happen. And I think that for so
Speaker 2: long I was accepting crumbs, the bare minimum, just to
Speaker 2: be in the presence of a fine lit nigga with
Speaker 2: a big old dick, you know what I mean, Like
Speaker 2: just to be able to say I did maybe right.
Speaker 4: But how is this How is this like awakening that
Speaker 4: you to discuss, like that your sister and your mom
Speaker 4: are also experiencing right now, Like how has it shifted
Speaker 4: you guys's relationship too?
Speaker 2: I mean, we're The thing is we all got out
Speaker 2: of relationships with undiagnosed because not many are with men
Speaker 2: who we perceive to have been narcissists. And so the
Speaker 2: crazy thing that we don't talk about, like we just
Speaker 2: talked about sexual abuse, right, I don't think there is
Speaker 2: enough conversation around what the emotional abuse of an up
Speaker 2: and down relationship looks like. A man who wants to
Speaker 2: humble you, a man who doesn't celebrate you, a man
Speaker 2: who you know will tie your successes to him being present,
Speaker 2: a man who's competitive, a man who you know betrays
Speaker 2: your boundaries and trusts the emotional psychology around also going
Speaker 2: continuing to go back. That was my first relationship. We
Speaker 2: broke up thirteen times, and that was, Oh, that's a that's.
Speaker 3: A mood a mood.
Speaker 2: Wait wait, and and you know what I know, because bitch,
Speaker 2: every time we did, I brought it to the podcast,
Speaker 2: so it is fucking chronologicalized on the goddamn show. And
Speaker 2: he used to suck because you know, we vote record,
Speaker 2: so I'll be talking about yeah, fuck nigga, y, I'm
Speaker 2: thinking now fuck that. By the time that shiit Air,
Speaker 2: I was like, read the comments. There's something.
Speaker 4: There's something about podcasting too that people are like, it
Speaker 4: makes you fucking accountable, and not only I have to
Speaker 4: hear myself say this shit over and over again these
Speaker 4: people that I don't even know it makes you be
Speaker 4: accountable or like, fuck I said this seventeen motherfucking you know.
Speaker 2: What's crazy too? As women going through that experience and
Speaker 2: going back that many times because I was thrilled I
Speaker 2: was in love with that man. Going back that many
Speaker 2: times allowed me to understand more so I then got
Speaker 2: if you listen to the early days in the podcast,
Speaker 2: a woman kept going back you. I thought she was
Speaker 2: a weak ass, like you're girl, how could you do that?
Speaker 4: Baby?
Speaker 2: You know what I mean? And then when it was me,
Speaker 2: I I literally I couldn't see it until I got
Speaker 2: out of it too, and I was like, oh shit.
Speaker 2: But also there's this like dumb ass logic. There's a
Speaker 2: few dumb ass logics we have to like tell the
Speaker 2: younger youth, you know they're not gonna listen to because
Speaker 2: I'm mad that there's stuff that we listen to. His
Speaker 2: women the older women used to try to tund less, bitch,
Speaker 2: and you don't really learn until you go through it,
Speaker 2: so like fucking a guy isn't gonna make him like
Speaker 2: you more. And then the other one is you have
Speaker 2: to fight for love. I used to That was why
Speaker 2: I kept going back. I'm like, well, they say that
Speaker 2: relationships are hard and you have to fight for them,
Speaker 2: and you know you can't just when it gets bumpy.
Speaker 2: You can't just leave it the first sign. You have
Speaker 2: to And I was like, yeah, nah, bitch, some relationships
Speaker 2: deserve to be going after the first They definitely, man.
Speaker 4: Oh you leave me so are you leave me so easily?
Speaker 5: They do, But I think that because women were romantic,
Speaker 5: were romantists. Romantic, yeah, romantic on our own individually. I'm
Speaker 5: not gonna blame everything on the man like we do
Speaker 5: this ship to ourselves delusion literally like literally when I
Speaker 5: was with my ex, I remember sitting on the podcast
Speaker 5: and saying, I don't get to write my love story,
Speaker 5: Like I don't get to write my story if it
Speaker 5: starts rocky.
Speaker 3: That's just how it is, you know.
Speaker 5: And I'm like thinking back now, and I'm like, bitch,
Speaker 5: that was fucked up, Like that wasn't gonna work from
Speaker 5: the beginning.
Speaker 3: You needed.
Speaker 4: Like the back of on the Delulu. I was gonna
Speaker 4: have to light that.
Speaker 5: Up and and and that didn't really have anything to
Speaker 5: do with him. He didn't feed me that. I fed
Speaker 5: myself that because that is because that's what I because
Speaker 5: because I will getting love was being loved was such
Speaker 5: an addiction for me at that point. I wanted that
Speaker 5: love to work so badly because I felt in such
Speaker 5: a deficit of love in my life at that point,
Speaker 5: so that superseded all fucking logic and anything else.
Speaker 3: It had nothing to do with him and the Dick
Speaker 3: was great, but.
Speaker 5: It wasn't like that great, you know what I mean,
Speaker 5: Like it was it wasn't even the dick. It was
Speaker 5: like my need and obsession with wanting to feel love
Speaker 5: and be loved and wanting to just get that part
Speaker 5: of my life going already, Like I'm tired of being single.
Speaker 5: I want to start my I want to start my
Speaker 5: said life already, like as if it hadn't already fucking
Speaker 5: as if I hadn't already been living it.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 2: I talk about like, uh, the Dine, the Disney Princess
Speaker 2: syndrome or whatever, like the fact that in all of
Speaker 2: our childhood movies and cartoons, it's literally a woman doing
Speaker 2: like this bitch arial gave up her voice for an.
Speaker 4: It's literally part of the welcome package of womanhood and you.
Speaker 2: Getting born as a girl, and a welcome package is
Speaker 2: like haw that a man is gonna come.
Speaker 5: And I was watching Cinder Brandy's Cinderella last night with
Speaker 5: my daughter.
Speaker 3: It's been like three part.
Speaker 7: Series, by the way, that is such a good It's
Speaker 7: a great movie, yes, But as I'm watching it, I'm like,
Speaker 7: so this nigga fucking dance has all these bitches waiting
Speaker 7: to dance with him, and then a missing shoe and
Speaker 7: he's wait, he has to fit, and all the bitches
Speaker 7: are going crazy fighting each other over whether there's making
Speaker 7: shoe fits, and this Cinderella is over.
Speaker 5: Here, like I'm just Cinderella, just just a lonely milkmaid, and.
Speaker 3: I'm like, what the right like this is? This is
Speaker 3: the fucked up I'm like the product.
Speaker 4: It's like it's like little Girl propaganda. We're not need
Speaker 4: to write it like a warning book for the for
Speaker 4: the like the mothers. This is the things you don't
Speaker 4: do with please do not gender roles. I'm just saying
Speaker 4: it's a warning. Disney movie should come with a warning package,
Speaker 4: like a warning label, like this ship is not fucking
Speaker 4: real and it will make you helpless and.
Speaker 2: Fu even let me see I dance. So there's the aerial,
Speaker 2: there's the Pocahontas abandon her.
Speaker 5: But even even in Cinderella, what I noticed to and
Speaker 5: obviously the stepmom was evil, but but she she was
Speaker 5: the one pushing her daughters. Yes, so a lot of
Speaker 5: times that's it too, is that it starts with your
Speaker 5: mother too, saying this is what you need to do
Speaker 5: in a manner to be valuable. This is how you
Speaker 5: start this, when you did when you do this, this
Speaker 5: is when you start your life. When you get married,
Speaker 5: This is when you start your life. Everything else doesn't
Speaker 5: matter because we're leading, and this is the goal.
Speaker 2: The goal is to be a wife and to be
Speaker 2: a mother. But and that's where to me, not wanting
Speaker 2: to be either, like I'm now like this modernized woman,
Speaker 2: of course.
Speaker 3: But I wish that we do like what then happened afterwards,
Speaker 3: I think.
Speaker 4: Where it happened.
Speaker 2: And I'm not gonna if you watch Beauty and the Beast,
Speaker 2: the Beast was a whole narcissist abuses of ass nigga like.
Speaker 4: For fuck nigga. Literally, I'm gonna sue you.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna got the money base class action. This is
Speaker 2: Hi suing for emotional damage the Tasney World coucher fucking days.
Speaker 5: We're coming for you and we want Okay, we're gonna
Speaker 5: We're gonna put a position in this episode description.
Speaker 4: It is a high thought a class action suit against
Speaker 4: motherfucking Disney because you fucking false advertised all throughout my
Speaker 4: childhood had a decade of a plus of trauma because
Speaker 4: of your bitch.
Speaker 5: Ass Disney to respond, this is legal.
Speaker 4: We're coming for you, I mean, and honestly, that's why
Speaker 4: I feel like as mothers, I know, we got a
Speaker 4: lot of backlash coming into this space like this because
Speaker 4: we talk very very vivid, like very real in this
Speaker 4: book too, But it's like, this is why it requires
Speaker 4: mothers like us, and this is why the work that
Speaker 4: we're doing is so motherfucking important that you writing this book.
Speaker 4: Us all arriving here is no mistake the same of
Speaker 4: your mom and your sister are now in therapy and
Speaker 4: coming to terms that would have probably never happened if
Speaker 4: there wasn't for Mandy. What you know what I'm saying, like,
Speaker 4: there's so much there's so much work in like there's
Speaker 4: we said this, there's there's healing in the hoeing.
Speaker 2: And I just want to say too, for the people
Speaker 2: that listen and know that y'all are moms and think
Speaker 2: that y'all are these wild, crazy, you know, insane bitches,
Speaker 2: y'all have two of the most well behaved kids. I
Speaker 2: don't even like kids, but anytime I've been around your daughters,
Speaker 2: just the most kindest, sweetest, most well behaved little girls,
Speaker 2: and so and I know moms who think that they're
Speaker 2: fucking a one. Moms and their kids are fucking bitches,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean. Their kids are fucking dickheads.
Speaker 2: And so like, just know y'all are doing right by
Speaker 2: how you're raising.
Speaker 4: That's how I knew we were real friends. When you
Speaker 4: let us come to your house with our kids.
Speaker 2: I was like, wow, because I like them well behaved.
Speaker 2: Oh trust me, there's don't bring your kids. I have
Speaker 2: friends that I don't want to be around.
Speaker 3: Our kids might have traumatized your cat, though I'm not.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, god it was. They was whooping body ass
Speaker 2: and then body traumatized. They started fighting back. Oh I know,
Speaker 2: I know. It was crazy. Well that's that's my that's
Speaker 2: my nephew. Yes I do. But girl, my voices, do
Speaker 2: you hear this on the brain. It's just no, no, no,
Speaker 2: I'm getting secondhand smoking. It smells smells delicious.
Speaker 3: So is it is?
Speaker 2: It is banana.
Speaker 4: This is a nola banana Foster's backwood.
Speaker 2: Okay, because this smells delicious.
Speaker 4: It's smelling like because it tastes.
Speaker 3: I'm taking a break from cannabis.
Speaker 5: But I the other day I smoked a backwood like
Speaker 5: I smoked a backwood, like, did not take the ship,
Speaker 5: take the ship out of it? No, because I was like,
Speaker 5: let me just taste what it tastes like, because what
Speaker 5: on this tobacco?
Speaker 2: Right, yeah, this is well.
Speaker 3: This is the thing.
Speaker 5: What I This is what I've realized because there's a
Speaker 5: lot of flavors. But every time I kind of smoke
Speaker 5: when I'm like, I don't know if I'm tasting it inside,
Speaker 5: it's inside.
Speaker 4: Taking the.
Speaker 2: Leave a little bit, you know some of them.
Speaker 5: You gotta know people, And that's why I'm there, and
Speaker 5: that's why because I hate I sat a white, a
Speaker 5: backwood white, backwood way right.
Speaker 3: I smoked a backwood white and it was like vanilla.
Speaker 4: I was like, oh it was good.
Speaker 3: It was good. And I didn't inhale like you know.
Speaker 3: I smoked like a cigar like you're supposed to. Let
Speaker 3: it kind of marinated.
Speaker 5: Break breaking news and the amount of people that went
Speaker 5: in shout out to our followers on Instagram, y'all were
Speaker 5: very concerned for my health and my d ms, and
Speaker 5: they were also going to drop off weed immediately.
Speaker 3: They're like, where are you?
Speaker 2: I will drop off.
Speaker 3: You don't need to be smoking a backwards like this.
Speaker 4: But breaking news. You guys backwards are for smoking. I
Speaker 4: don't you know that the directions don't see anything. P
Speaker 4: s A that the nigga's out there, but it says
Speaker 4: nothing about taking all the picture.
Speaker 2: The inside is literally poking out.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're supposed to smoke that.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 5: No, And so I did it, and I was my
Speaker 5: remix and I was like, do I need to start
Speaker 5: smoking cigars?
Speaker 2: Like for real?
Speaker 4: Do you like? I like you smoking cigars?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't mind. I don't mind.
Speaker 3: I've smoked my dad's before, but his are so intense.
Speaker 2: That's what happens when you're a side chick. Married men
Speaker 2: take you to cigar lounge. Yes they do, because the
Speaker 2: only men there, they're the ones who introduced me to
Speaker 2: cigars all my marriage. The lounge baby, and and.
Speaker 4: I have an old nigga magnet.
Speaker 2: I'd be like, you give me the girl one, give
Speaker 2: me a little cute girls, the little cute one.
Speaker 4: I kind of like them fat. It makes me feel
Speaker 4: like a gangster.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I just feel like a gangster when
Speaker 2: I wake up.
Speaker 4: I'm the same, like an extra gangster, like a music
Speaker 4: video gangster. Do you have any have you been any
Speaker 4: bad choices this week that you want to share with
Speaker 4: our audience. So you're a bad choice of the week.
Speaker 6: Bad mom, not a bad mom, but a bad mom.
Speaker 3: So good.
Speaker 2: First off, I've been potting my life away.
Speaker 3: Every time I see you freaking talk so much.
Speaker 2: I talk a whole lot. A bad decision, no, but
Speaker 2: I did just okay, So it's a good decision, but
Speaker 2: it's like naughty. So shout out to Girls Gotta Eat.
Speaker 2: They gave me and I'm so glad because so I
Speaker 2: moved from New York to Atlanta, have not unpacked one
Speaker 2: of my electronic boxes. This electronic box has all of
Speaker 2: my sex toy chargers. So it has been six months
Speaker 2: since I've put a toy to my pussy. So Raina
Speaker 2: gave me, Uh, Girls Gotta Eat gave me a sex toy,
Speaker 2: and bitch were like, do you want Do you want
Speaker 2: a toy for a couple or do you want a
Speaker 2: toy for yourself? I said, bitch, I'm selfish, give me
Speaker 2: one for myself. And I said, wait, do you have
Speaker 2: something that sucks? Those are the things I like and like.
Speaker 2: So it's this baby. I've been coming in like start
Speaker 2: a second, I'm like, bitch, normally. It take me a
Speaker 2: good eight nine minutes because I got a warmer up, bitch.
Speaker 2: I put that little thing on it, and it was
Speaker 2: it was sober to know what to do. I was like,
Speaker 2: real quick, oh no, no, no, that was my my click
Speaker 2: got drunk real quick. Okay, like like if you're talking
Speaker 2: about not drinking for a while. That thing went on
Speaker 2: on that clinton I said, poop came. So that decision
Speaker 2: was a great decision. It was a naughty one.
Speaker 4: It was a bad one.
Speaker 2: All those things. I'm back to. Getting this clip sucked, baby,
Speaker 2: and that shit felt good. I'm happier back, baby. I'm
Speaker 2: glad I'm back, because boy, is it fucking caveman old
Speaker 2: era age should just be rubbing at the thing.
Speaker 4: It's very vintag good for you to come back.
Speaker 2: You gotta take breaks.
Speaker 4: You can't buzze your your fucking graduate.
Speaker 2: All I know is that six month break just made
Speaker 2: it to where I don't even really get to enjoy
Speaker 2: like the long experience of masturbation right now, bitch. It's like,
Speaker 2: that's my pussy dot com.
Speaker 4: So that was your bad choices a week and not
Speaker 4: in pocking, not unpacking that one charger.
Speaker 2: Oh my like that was my bad choice this whole year. Bitch,
Speaker 2: Why the fuck have I not charged my sex toys?
Speaker 2: So I just be at home Vintage rubbing this puss.
Speaker 4: Because you're to go home and pluck that ship in now.
Speaker 2: Literally, it's so funny because my homegirl was like, you
Speaker 2: could always stay at my house in l A. And
Speaker 2: I just had to. I said, First off, a bitch
Speaker 2: likes to play with her pussy, Okay, I said, I
Speaker 2: like to be in a hotel room where I can
Speaker 2: just lay naked, or you be having people come over
Speaker 2: at the end of the day. Sometimes I don't want
Speaker 2: to talk to people at all. So I got my
Speaker 2: little hotel, got that sex toy, and boy, so you've
Speaker 2: been having a week rubbing my pussing out. Let me
Speaker 2: calm down, you have she kind of jumping right now.
Speaker 2: Oh she happy. She was like, God, damn, thank you guy.
Speaker 5: You have a chapter in your book and that it's
Speaker 5: funny that we're talking about this called how can I
Speaker 5: expect you to please me?
Speaker 3: If I can please myself?
Speaker 2: So it's that's the first chapter in the book and
Speaker 2: it talks about back to even having sex with men.
Speaker 2: It's about me not understanding my body, not knowing my body,
Speaker 2: and the only way for a long time being able
Speaker 2: to come through sex. So I needed a man to come.
Speaker 2: And so it just it goes through the journey of
Speaker 2: literally from me humping a Teddy Bear when I was young,
Speaker 2: to me using the shower head at home because it
Speaker 2: felt good to me reading fan fiction where, bitch, why
Speaker 2: the fuck was I thirteen fourteen wanting to be gangbanged
Speaker 2: by B two K bow wow and fucking Chris Brown
Speaker 2: all at once. I'm literally reading this fan fiction like mmmm,
Speaker 2: So Chris Brown came over and then Jay Bug walked
Speaker 2: in and where are you reading? Y'all don't know about
Speaker 2: fan fiction? My god, y'all can still find it to
Speaker 2: this day. We looked it up. So they were message boards,
Speaker 2: so you know how red it is. And the other
Speaker 2: message board that never gets airtime and gets bleeped out
Speaker 2: whenever I talk.
Speaker 3: About it, so beside one.
Speaker 2: The one that is in the back. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: that one I don't say. I don't say that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I guess we should say evil.
Speaker 2: But it's like a reddit, so there's multiple message boards
Speaker 2: and there's like a category labeled fan fiction, and you
Speaker 2: go in there and it's people that are writing erotica,
Speaker 2: but the people in the erotica are celebrities, So as
Speaker 2: a fan, you could literally look up who you like
Speaker 2: and read all these stories. And so I was reading
Speaker 2: these stories and it was like, you know, like, I'm
Speaker 2: hanging out with the crew and literally, yeah, Jay Book
Speaker 2: came over and Little Fizz was looking through the door
Speaker 2: and I said you can come join. But I was
Speaker 2: bow wow oh like and literally and literally I'm fucking thirteen,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, oh yeah, gang bang me b two
Speaker 2: k yeah wow, Why the fuck did I want that
Speaker 2: so young? That's how I knew it was gonna be
Speaker 2: a problem when I started fucking yeah advanced like, and
Speaker 2: so I talk about sitting at the computer reading this
Speaker 2: late at night and just just getting wet and not
Speaker 2: knowing what was happening. And then I talk about hunching
Speaker 2: my friends because that's what we did. We played teacher
Speaker 2: and hunched each other with our clothes on. And so
Speaker 2: I go through this journey of what what was happening
Speaker 2: with my body? It thumping, it feeling good when I
Speaker 2: would rub it on things. And then I get to
Speaker 2: where I'm in my twenties and I'm like, oh, I
Speaker 2: know how to touch it, I know how I like it. Oh,
Speaker 2: this is what's happening. And I talk about like the
Speaker 2: way I'm able to get pleasure now with partners and
Speaker 2: with myself is heightened out of this world because I
Speaker 2: know exactly what I want and it's because I explored
Speaker 2: my body and figured out what I like, what I
Speaker 2: don't like, and then learn how to communicate it. So yeah,
Speaker 2: it's like, ladies, y'all mad, you can't orgasm? Have you? Do?
Speaker 3: You know your Do you like it?
Speaker 2: Slow?
Speaker 3: Do you like it?
Speaker 2: Harden? Once you know how you like it, then tell
Speaker 2: the nigga, tell the bitch.
Speaker 4: Go to fan fiction.
Speaker 2: Figure read some fan fiction. I'm mind you, mind you,
Speaker 2: and those are of course I was a child, But
Speaker 2: you can go, oh, bitch, if you like white people,
Speaker 2: I'm sure there's some let me. I'm sure you can
Speaker 2: read about all them white crackers.
Speaker 4: You know what, this is such a female thing because
Speaker 4: I'm like, like, you know, you can't find the porn category,
Speaker 4: like the specific porn category that you want, and it
Speaker 4: pisses you off. I'm like, I should just make my
Speaker 4: own fan fiction fan fiction.
Speaker 3: I'm going to go look up Charlie Hana fan fiction.
Speaker 2: Who someone white because I don't know, Yeah, that.
Speaker 5: Sounds friends of Anarchy. Oh his the lead of Sons
Speaker 5: of Anarchy.
Speaker 3: Never saw that even so fine, Jason, that is that
Speaker 3: right period of fan fiction with Charlie and Jason.
Speaker 4: You know who I want.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna take you. I'm gonna keep it in the
Speaker 2: same region. This is I want Jason Momoa and Roman Rains. Bitch,
Speaker 2: look up Roman Rains right now. I took it from
Speaker 2: acting to wrestling wrestler. I don't even like wrestling is
Speaker 2: only good for Roman his whole family.
Speaker 3: God damn, he looked like Hercules.
Speaker 2: He's Hercules.
Speaker 4: That's the kind of white.
Speaker 2: I like that. He's like tong like Philip whatever, that Filipino.
Speaker 3: He's he used to play football.
Speaker 2: It's like he's married his wife, a wrestler. I think
Speaker 2: they all marry each other.
Speaker 4: They do.
Speaker 2: All the wrestlers like marry each other. But he fine, fine,
Speaker 2: she fine to Actually not as fine right there, yeah,
Speaker 2: because he's you know, like, I don't like when niggas.
Speaker 3: He needs to have his hair down.
Speaker 4: Hair looks like you get a ravage.
Speaker 2: I need a ravage even I like hair like don't
Speaker 2: shave your your hair off. I need you to look scruffy. Yeah.
Speaker 4: I like a little scruffy too. I want you to
Speaker 4: look a little rough around that.
Speaker 2: If you start getting grades, keep the salt and pepper.
Speaker 2: Don't color that ship. I hate that it's getting colored.
Speaker 2: Keep it salt and pepper.
Speaker 3: You went to Georgia Tech. Just maybe maybe he's still.
Speaker 2: Maybe you come back. I just want to bump into him.
Speaker 4: He's from Florida, and he's from Florida.
Speaker 2: Or you want to be so bad?
Speaker 3: That's the color, baby Dan, Not you knowing all of
Speaker 3: his Oh he's Oh he's Samoan and Italian.
Speaker 2: So he is okay, part spicy, way, okay, part spicy
Speaker 2: wait a lottle meat ball. All right, Yeah, I ain't
Speaker 2: mad at that.
Speaker 4: We went on a deep Sorry.
Speaker 3: My car later and my fan fiction.
Speaker 2: I also lost my card.
Speaker 3: Your card, Oh no, it's in your book.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, okay, okay, can you you're not gonna read
Speaker 2: my card.
Speaker 3: I know we're gonna read your car. But before we
Speaker 3: read your card, I want you ask you if.
Speaker 8: You have a horror story that you can share with
Speaker 8: us who stories in true horror form? I know you're
Speaker 8: a reformed horror supposedly, now.
Speaker 4: Go back into your horror files.
Speaker 2: I guess, I guess all because in true fashion, why not,
Speaker 2: I'll bring up a story that I had in the book.
Speaker 2: My first time pegging went terrible, and it's because the
Speaker 2: guy was so against the strap, looking like a real dick,
Speaker 2: So he didn't want and he didn't know, but he
Speaker 2: was interested, like he definitely liked butt play, and I
Speaker 2: wanted to get in that boodhle hole.
Speaker 5: Wait, but question before we tell the horror story. Yes,
Speaker 5: why did you want to get in the bootyhole?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 3: Where did that come from?
Speaker 7: Like?
Speaker 3: Where was that?
Speaker 4: I love?
Speaker 2: Look at that. That's in the book too. First off,
Speaker 2: it was birth from in a hole momophobia. Let's be
Speaker 2: very clear, so that the chapter that I'm talking about,
Speaker 2: I start with how I used to think if a
Speaker 2: guy wanted to have anal sex with me, he was gay,
Speaker 2: because why would you want anything but this lovely fucking
Speaker 2: hole right here? Why would you want the back?
Speaker 6: Though?
Speaker 2: That don't make no sense? And so I go through
Speaker 2: this journey of unlearning that finally having antal sex, it
Speaker 2: not being the best, but willing to keep trying, trying
Speaker 2: all the way until I got an anal orgasm. I
Speaker 2: started to just really like enjoy male butt two. I
Speaker 2: think from gay porn. So to me, men in straight
Speaker 2: porn always looked like they just got out the girls.
Speaker 2: Weaves was bad, makeup was terrible, and I'm like, straight
Speaker 2: porn is just not sexy to me. So somehow I
Speaker 2: went down the rabbit hole of gay porn.
Speaker 9: They're all shaved, they're ripped, the fine, they take care
Speaker 9: of themselves, and I'm like, oh wait, they're having mad
Speaker 9: antal sex and I don't see ship.
Speaker 2: I said, oh, so maybe you could have. Maybe this
Speaker 2: is like a clean little thing you could do if
Speaker 2: you do it the right way. But I started like
Speaker 2: liking mail butt. I started looking at it.
Speaker 4: I start.
Speaker 2: Over mail, but I did, like looked in jeans. How
Speaker 2: you used to want to see a nigga being over
Speaker 2: Dinner's a thing where they make their bootlehole wink girl,
Speaker 2: what is that category? So boot ahole week but they
Speaker 2: literally just make it say high like look at me
Speaker 2: all like yeah, they.
Speaker 3: Actually don't you remember that.
Speaker 4: Bootyhole?
Speaker 5: I that was like six months ago.
Speaker 2: I like a winking boodhole.
Speaker 4: Yeah it was last year.
Speaker 2: You know you don't did That's what that went viral?
Speaker 2: Little fizz. I think at a week in Boodha hole
Speaker 2: that that like not.
Speaker 3: You're okay, fantasy.
Speaker 4: It comes.
Speaker 2: It's so crazy, but yeah, anyways, so I grew the
Speaker 2: obsession of seeing the beauty in that, like the same
Speaker 2: way men like are asses. I started really liking man
Speaker 2: but got it and then I wanted to penetrate it.
Speaker 2: I saw how beautiful it looked in gay porn. Wanted
Speaker 2: that that that.
Speaker 3: You wanted this, you wanted a man to submit to you?
Speaker 2: Was it of that too?
Speaker 3: But I was like or you just was like you
Speaker 3: just love to please so much that you wanted to.
Speaker 2: I wanted to please him in every hole.
Speaker 4: I just want to tell you, if you're just listening
Speaker 4: to this and you're not watching, for the love of God,
Speaker 4: tune in because the passion in her face, the pronunciation
Speaker 4: of mail butts, and like the joy and like, wow,
Speaker 4: I've never seen joy.
Speaker 2: And then I learned science and they said the g
Speaker 2: spot was up there. I said, oh, I'm about to
Speaker 2: please you baby, make you feel like you will never
Speaker 2: let me milk that thing, and so literally, then I
Speaker 2: learned science. Then I learned science bitch, not you can
Speaker 2: tell you your prostate is your g spot. Let me get
Speaker 2: up in there. And so anyways, back to the story.
Speaker 2: The first time I pegged the guy, he didn't want
Speaker 2: it to look like a dick. So I got a
Speaker 2: prostate toy. But it was so hard and it had
Speaker 2: a curve, and so in order to get the prostate,
Speaker 2: it's towards go towards the belly button. So the lady
Speaker 2: at the store, I'll never forget, she said, if it's
Speaker 2: if it's curved, if he's on his back, it should
Speaker 2: be pointed up. If he's on his knees, it should
Speaker 2: be pointed down. And so when we fucked, it was
Speaker 2: like it was hard. It was hard, and so I
Speaker 2: don't think it was very enjoyable for him, and it
Speaker 2: made me not enjoyable, like enjoying the experience because it
Speaker 2: was I knew I wasn't. It had to hurt. Well,
Speaker 2: I said, nigga, next time, we might need the thing
Speaker 2: with the little veins. They look like a dick, because
Speaker 2: those at least feel like skin and are better like material.
Speaker 2: But it's so funny. I literally do the Keith Lee
Speaker 2: my first time. Peggy, I'd like to rate it a
Speaker 2: five point time like it was. It was a bad, bad,
Speaker 2: bad first time. I'm glad that me and him got
Speaker 2: to go a second I was. We did a redo.
Speaker 2: We did it multiple times with a different toy. He allowed,
Speaker 2: he allowed me to go and just get one that
Speaker 2: looked like a dick, and we had to talk through
Speaker 2: his own internalized homophobia with that too, like bruh, it's
Speaker 2: a plastic I'm a bitch, which would come like, calm down,
Speaker 2: it's not a real dick. I just think the material
Speaker 2: would lead for it to be better. And so yeah,
Speaker 2: like we did that, and that's when I even started
Speaker 2: like the anal training kids. So learn more about the
Speaker 2: butt plugs, learn more about like the things that I
Speaker 2: could go in there to help open them up and
Speaker 2: get them comfortable before I just started ramming them.
Speaker 4: But yeah, you're an anal expert.
Speaker 5: Yeah, what can't you just give us maybe three tips?
Speaker 5: I think you kind of just did right now, But like,
Speaker 5: what are three real official tips? I'm successfully pegging.
Speaker 2: Lube and a lot of it. Do not think you'll
Speaker 2: spit is good enough, bitch, get the lube and honestly
Speaker 2: lube up the toy and lube up the whole. The
Speaker 2: more loube, the better. You cannot have too much lube
Speaker 2: in antal sex. There's like no such thing. And then
Speaker 2: if there's a lot of it, then his ass just
Speaker 2: gets to be shiny. Okay, now you got a shiny,
Speaker 2: nice ass that's loubed up and ready, So lube blue, blue, blue, blube.
Speaker 2: I I'm not gonna lie. I'm not a gay male,
Speaker 2: so I've never doushed it. I just don't eat that day, Like,
Speaker 2: no coffee that morning. I'm gonna be strategic around if
Speaker 2: I had a a wet shit that morning. We're not
Speaker 2: having antal sex to be hard, firm, not a lot
Speaker 2: of mess, you know. So make sure you're aware of
Speaker 2: your body. If you drink coffee that morning and blew
Speaker 2: up the fucking bathroom, that might not be the day
Speaker 2: for you to engage in antal sex. Like make sure
Speaker 2: your body is in a healthy state. And then other
Speaker 2: than that, I already said the anal training that's a
Speaker 2: little bit more advanced. I would also say, when you
Speaker 2: say training, you mean like the size, yes, the butt plug.
Speaker 2: By the way, I have steps in the books, so
Speaker 2: get the book. I talk about this too. But the
Speaker 2: other thing that I will say going into antal sex,
Speaker 2: whether you are pegging or whether you are receiving, understand
Speaker 2: that we are humans, so there may be a mess.
Speaker 2: Don't make it awkward, don't make a scene. Be okay
Speaker 2: with the fact that you could be as prepared as
Speaker 2: you think you are, you couldition there still be a mess.
Speaker 2: So just be prepared that it could happen and just
Speaker 2: move on. Clean the sheets, bitch, take it off, put
Speaker 2: a new set down, Use a towel if you need,
Speaker 2: use a doggy pad whatever. Doggy pad, yeah, they use
Speaker 2: that for mostly squirters, but it's something they.
Speaker 4: Can doubles at the sex party. I know. I think
Speaker 4: about it for anal. I just talked about it for squirting.
Speaker 2: But if you raise an yeah, I mean that's that's
Speaker 2: what the dogs do on it, the on it.
Speaker 4: Okay, thank you, thank you so much here that Orlando.
Speaker 3: Thanks so much for that.
Speaker 2: I know you're not acting like you don't know about
Speaker 2: no boodhle plate. Bitch, Why are.
Speaker 3: You talking to really this because she puts it in
Speaker 3: her fight? Do you think she puts in Orlando's but
Speaker 3: not Orlando.
Speaker 2: I don't know what they done.
Speaker 4: Well, when you told me the story about all of
Speaker 4: the all of the all the batteries and not working.
Speaker 4: I was like I had I was like, that's all
Speaker 4: I thought about.
Speaker 2: Brouh yes and.
Speaker 4: The flashback, and I was like, she's still mad.
Speaker 2: So mad I was, But now instead of the mad
Speaker 2: being mad at you, I met at myself. Why well
Speaker 2: you didn't charge all your toys? But now I just
Speaker 2: told you I haven't had toys charge in six months.
Speaker 4: That was the last time that was much of a disaster.
Speaker 4: And when it was other people, depending on.
Speaker 5: My it was spons it was very right, like you
Speaker 5: did you go home before to prepare?
Speaker 2: No, it was spontaneous. Yeah, it was like we all
Speaker 2: across some price, we all go listen lumber party.
Speaker 4: Do we ever tell this story public? I feel like
Speaker 4: I don't think. I don't think we did. I think
Speaker 4: it was two.
Speaker 2: I think we talked around it. Okay, wait, are we
Speaker 2: able to share it? Yeah?
Speaker 3: And if you want to hear this story, you have
Speaker 3: to run our patrios.
Speaker 2: Join the patriot.
Speaker 5: Okay, make sure you go to good Mom's Patreon dot
Speaker 5: com backslash Good Mom's Bad Choices, Real Horrible Decision.
Speaker 2: Yes, this is a friend. Okay, So this was going
Speaker 2: on Patreon.
Speaker 6: Ye.
Speaker 4: Perfect, So I think you did group chattus at first.
Speaker 2: And then I was like, okay, y'all take me out
Speaker 2: the chat now, fine, see you next time in l
Speaker 2: a friendship. Okay.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 2: And and by the way, you're the only person that
Speaker 2: shares that experience with me. I have never gang banged
Speaker 2: another man.
Speaker 4: It was my idea. I was like, why not, This
Speaker 4: is a great idea. I wish now women were.
Speaker 2: I wish you had better, but I wish more women
Speaker 2: enjoyed like just being like referral, let's gang bang this.
Speaker 4: Yeah, like can we just gang banging? Like come on,
Speaker 4: I love it.
Speaker 2: Come look at the empowerment of women, like yes, let's train.
Speaker 4: Yeah, what are you doing tonight running a train? So me,
Speaker 4: Mandy Erica, Yeah, we're gonna gout to dinner. Then we're
Speaker 4: gonna run a train. And what you want to come by?
Speaker 6: That?
Speaker 4: Would?
Speaker 2: I think you did tell Erica that, right? Did you
Speaker 2: know that we were doing planned that?
Speaker 4: We planned it? Like during an episode recording we were
Speaker 4: like I said it, and then I was like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 4: guess what we made it happen.
Speaker 3: I would call me after let me know how it was.
Speaker 4: Because she was like, I can't go because I know
Speaker 4: his baby mom were like, were.
Speaker 2: That we could wear the skuy.
Speaker 3: Ethically, I can't do this, but tell me all about it.
Speaker 4: Wow, we've had some time.
Speaker 2: Wow, and I love you. And did the same glass
Speaker 2: and a ketemene to a train to run in the
Speaker 2: trains on a.
Speaker 4: Beautiful man we know ended Keademine by the.
Speaker 2: Way, Yeah we didn't. He just had it. He tried,
Speaker 2: He tried, He really tried. White people was just like,
Speaker 2: you want drugs, were like, well we just had pasta.
Speaker 4: Were we just ate? We never did it, so I
Speaker 4: don't know pasta.
Speaker 2: You know, I don't know that's gonna really but you
Speaker 2: know what, we will show you our titties while we
Speaker 2: swing on a random swing that's in your living room.
Speaker 4: I remember I think I kissed them. I made them
Speaker 4: say you got the two guys to ki.
Speaker 2: You got So these guys were fucking roommates and they
Speaker 2: weren't they we don't wait.
Speaker 3: You remember the guy was like he was like upstairs
Speaker 3: was and.
Speaker 4: I crossed up there. I woke him up out of.
Speaker 2: His sleep and then literally sleep their roommates. They're not partners,
Speaker 2: and here goes here goes fucking Mila, I think y'all
Speaker 2: should kiss and he's They both looked confused, and somehow
Speaker 2: they did end up kissing with you.
Speaker 4: I wasn't gonna figuay kissing. Toward that trip, I was
Speaker 4: like really feeling in my prize. I was like, let
Speaker 4: me make see what I can make people do. And
Speaker 4: I did it made them kiss and.
Speaker 2: I think we three way kissed. It was crazy. Pastass
Speaker 2: brought us there. It was great pasta and espresso. Martin.
Speaker 5: You know, this is also a testament to like, you know,
Speaker 5: I think I thought you hated me.
Speaker 3: So when I was going in to record the podcast, oh.
Speaker 5: That day, Yeah, when we were like on defense, we
Speaker 5: were like we have to fuck her.
Speaker 2: Up, Like, oh no, what's gonna happen because.
Speaker 3: Someone told me that she don't fuck with me and
Speaker 3: I don't know why. But I don't even know this bitch.
Speaker 2: It never was the case. I never was the case.
Speaker 3: I walked in like han Hi alert, like.
Speaker 2: By and literally by the end of the episode, I'm
Speaker 2: obsessed with the both of you and I crashed the
Speaker 2: dinner y'all were having with Weezy. They're like it was
Speaker 2: about to be It was a right of of three,
Speaker 2: and I said, oh, it's going to be four, and
Speaker 2: Weezy was really not trying to share all his friends,
Speaker 2: and I was like, oh, I'm coming, even if I
Speaker 2: have to sit at the table next to y'all, I'm going.
Speaker 2: I know where the going. I'm going.
Speaker 3: Really, she was like she was like.
Speaker 4: Three for three, Like I'm sure, Like it's phase one.
Speaker 2: She was like, it's strict, it's connected to Cello House.
Speaker 4: I was like, usually if there's three cheers, there's four.
Speaker 4: I think people be able to figure it out. And man,
Speaker 4: it was like yeah.
Speaker 3: He was like, I haven't been to dinner with this
Speaker 3: bitch in three years, but I'm.
Speaker 2: Going today because I love y'all.
Speaker 4: And then that the road.
Speaker 2: We've been friends ever since, literally like friends, like, hey
Speaker 2: can meet Erica and our two kids come stay at
Speaker 2: your house when you're out of town because they got
Speaker 2: to go to camp. And yeah, here you go, like, yeah,
Speaker 2: it's been great, it's been so good. I love you,
Speaker 2: I love you too, I love both three.
Speaker 4: I really do love you.
Speaker 2: It's so funny because we had so much catching up
Speaker 2: to do when y'all were just in Atlanta and I
Speaker 2: even you said it an Orlando said it like, yeah, well,
Speaker 2: we didn't do much catching up because we were really drunk.
Speaker 2: All we did was fucking party like and then to
Speaker 2: the to the point the next day, I was like,
Speaker 2: can I just see y'all in LA because I am dead? Yeah,
Speaker 2: y'all killed me, Like y'all may be my only other
Speaker 2: friends that are the age y'all are that I can't
Speaker 2: really hang.
Speaker 4: Wait wait, wait, wait no, because I'm what do you
Speaker 4: in the age that we are?
Speaker 2: All of my friends are the same age. They're all
Speaker 2: between thirty five and forty three.
Speaker 4: I forget, how old are you?
Speaker 2: Thirty four? Okay, so they're all like, you know, a
Speaker 2: little older, But bitch, they're mature. They not hanging out
Speaker 2: till six o'clock in the morning. You bitches, keep going,
Speaker 2: you bitchspect I don't know many people over the age
Speaker 2: of thirty five who hang out of cars going from
Speaker 2: one party to the next. But Mila hanging out the car,
Speaker 2: hanging out like it's spring break, which it was a
Speaker 2: random Saturday in April. It wasn't spring break, not for us.
Speaker 2: We don't you know.
Speaker 3: Sounds like break to me actually, and it was spring
Speaker 3: I know.
Speaker 4: To right, You're right, but no, I love it podcast festival. Baby.
Speaker 4: It was we were celebrating you know, now, I've never
Speaker 4: rock stars of the podcast fest.
Speaker 2: It was so much fun. Yeah. We went from that
Speaker 2: night alone. I think I went to three or four
Speaker 2: different places because I went. I was at Holiday Bar
Speaker 2: before we took.
Speaker 3: You to the West. The West took me Hollywood Bar.
Speaker 3: But Atlanta.
Speaker 2: I was about to say, you leave it so fucking
Speaker 2: Erica and Mila to find something that looks so like
Speaker 2: mind you, I've been in Atlanta. Atlanta is the black
Speaker 2: mecca of the goddamn country. They take me to the
Speaker 2: one spot where we're the only blacks in there outside
Speaker 2: of the goddamn promoters. But it was so fucking beautiful.
Speaker 2: I was like, you were famous there. Do yeah, I know.
Speaker 2: We walked.
Speaker 3: Do you know Mandy goes to me, she goes Erica.
Speaker 5: I actually kind of love it because I'm like, I'm
Speaker 5: really fucking tired of hearing future everywhere.
Speaker 3: I'm actually happy there's white people here. It was I
Speaker 3: might come back, Oh, I want to go back.
Speaker 2: But also their their menu when we walked up on
Speaker 2: your friends eating this looks good.
Speaker 5: Well that's why she in bited me. Because the food
Speaker 5: they were supposed to I didn't know nothing about the rooftime.
Speaker 5: I didn't know what they were supposed to be really
Speaker 5: good food.
Speaker 2: The whole fucking astund called everybody hollow. When I say
Speaker 2: it was viby, it was beautiful, it was giving literally
Speaker 2: Hollywood meets to Loan, it was. It was fucking cute
Speaker 2: in Atlanta. Refused in Atlanta, you were like, where is
Speaker 2: the nigga shit at? I come where all the blacks are?
Speaker 2: Literally literally Mila was like, didn't come to Atlanta to
Speaker 2: be It's the only time.
Speaker 4: The only way we sayd is I kept having free shots.
Speaker 4: It did and that's why. And then after that we
Speaker 4: left immediately.
Speaker 2: Well no, I ended up buying around too. I was like,
Speaker 2: can I get nine please?
Speaker 3: We were deep too.
Speaker 4: We were so fucking deep, right my friends, Hectar Libby.
Speaker 4: We had a lot of people.
Speaker 2: We have a lot of people. It was though. It's
Speaker 2: always a good time.
Speaker 4: It is true. One thing about the three of us,
Speaker 4: I will say, we live up to our titles. This
Speaker 4: is no fake, This is not fake.
Speaker 2: We really live this.
Speaker 4: This is really who we are.
Speaker 3: Horrible and bad, very much, very much.
Speaker 2: Horribly bad choices and decisions we're made.
Speaker 4: If you hang out with that's it's going to be
Speaker 4: questionable everything every time, every time. Oh my goodness, did
Speaker 4: you share an affirmation with us today? Ooh?
Speaker 2: An affirmation? Can? We can? We actually go to the
Speaker 2: chapter where I have the affirmations, from the chapter where
Speaker 2: I champion being a side chick, because I felt like
Speaker 2: the affirmations had to come with loving yourself. See you
Speaker 2: know what, an affirmation I'm good, just fit it out
Speaker 2: and affirmation. This is going to be so simple, so cliche.
Speaker 2: But you are enough.
Speaker 4: You are enough. That's real shit.
Speaker 2: You are enough.
Speaker 5: You know, be a cliche the ones that your mom
Speaker 5: told you, those little nursery rhyme shit like those are
Speaker 5: the ones that when you get older.
Speaker 2: You're like, oh oh yeah. And I think that there's
Speaker 2: these expectations of us set on by our parents, by society.
Speaker 2: We're fucking victims of the fucking patriarchy. And so as
Speaker 2: women specifically, we always feel like we don't nurture enough,
Speaker 2: we don't care enough, we don't show up enough, we
Speaker 2: don't protect them, Like there's so much responsibility that we
Speaker 2: have that sometimes like what you're doing is fine, and
Speaker 2: you are enough in whatever you are giving. You don't
Speaker 2: need to over exalt yourself to show up. You are
Speaker 2: enough as is, as.
Speaker 4: Is, just as you are, just as you are. Organic, organic,
Speaker 4: no gmo, yeah, no added is preservatives, hero Time, it
Speaker 4: is terroot tyme. I was just taking a look at it.
Speaker 4: It's very interesting, actually, hero Time.
Speaker 3: Mandy and my friend who believes.
Speaker 4: In no astrologies or no stars no mood.
Speaker 5: I think I saw you on a clip recently talking
Speaker 5: about something about astrology, and I was like, bitch, stop.
Speaker 2: No way, it wasn't me. It's just another little light
Speaker 2: skin hope. But it wasn't me, booty hole.
Speaker 3: That was me, my little libra Shi.
Speaker 2: Nah, you won't hear me.
Speaker 3: Mandy is a libra.
Speaker 4: She pulled the Lover's card and the upright, it means love, harmony, relationships, values,
Speaker 4: alignment choices.
Speaker 3: Oh, very uh telling, But she doesn't believe in this.
Speaker 4: But she doesn't believe it. No, but I'll let y'all
Speaker 4: you know interpret pour into me. Okay, yes, and it's
Speaker 4: purest form in the Lover's card represents conscious connections and
Speaker 4: meaningful relationship. Ooh, this is me. The arrival of this
Speaker 4: card in tarill reading shows that you have a beautiful,
Speaker 4: soul honoring connection with the loved one. You may believe
Speaker 4: you have found your soulmate or life partner, and the
Speaker 4: sexual energy between you both goes way beyond instant gratification
Speaker 4: and lust to something that is very spiritual and almost
Speaker 4: tantric Maybe it's you with you.
Speaker 2: Maybe.
Speaker 4: While the Lover's card typically refers to a romantic tie,
Speaker 4: it can also represent a close friendship or family relationship
Speaker 4: with love, respect, and compassion flow. The Lover's card is
Speaker 4: open communication and raw honesty mm no holds barred period.
Speaker 4: Given that man and women are naked, they are both
Speaker 4: willing to be in their most vulnerable states and have
Speaker 4: learned to be open to open their hearts, to open
Speaker 4: to one another and share their truest feelings. They shape
Speaker 4: the container from which trust confidence can emerge, and this
Speaker 4: makes for a powerful bond between the two. In a reading,
Speaker 4: this card is a sign that communicating openly and honestly
Speaker 4: with those you care about you will create a harmonious
Speaker 4: and fulfilling relationship. BILL on trust and respect.
Speaker 2: I love it.
Speaker 4: It's mate On a deeper On a personal level, the
Speaker 4: Lover's card represents getting clear about your values and beliefs.
Speaker 4: You're figuring out what you stand for and your philosophy.
Speaker 4: Having gone through the indoctrination of their hair Afont, you
Speaker 4: are now ready to establish your belief system and decide
Speaker 4: what is and what is not essential.
Speaker 2: To you periods.
Speaker 4: It's time to go into big wide world and make
Speaker 4: choices for yourself, saying true to who you are and
Speaker 4: being authentic and genuine and all of your endeavors.
Speaker 2: Might need to give a little card downy baby. I
Speaker 2: like that.
Speaker 4: We can make a few calls.
Speaker 2: I like that.
Speaker 5: Well, you guys, make sure you get Mandy's latest first book.
Speaker 5: That's right, No Holds Barred, a dual manifestation of sexual
Speaker 5: exploration and power by Mandy Bee and Wheezy what the fuck?
Speaker 2: Yes? And the crazy part too is so it does
Speaker 2: released June twenty fourth, but you know pre ordering. Pre
Speaker 2: ordering gets tricky because who buys stuff and they don't
Speaker 2: get anything right. So we decided to give anyone who
Speaker 2: pre orders the book you have whenever you hear this
Speaker 2: through July first, there's a form on our Instagram page
Speaker 2: that is the No Holds Barred Masterclass. So we created
Speaker 2: a whole masterclass that includes parts about the books. So
Speaker 2: the book is broken up into pain, pleasure, progression, power,
Speaker 2: and so we do a course around it, where each
Speaker 2: course has two modules taught by both Weezy and I.
Speaker 2: And in the pain one, I actually have a BDSM chapter,
Speaker 2: and so I go to the dungeon that I talk
Speaker 2: about in the book, and like for that, it's like
Speaker 2: BDSM one on one, but in the dungeon, I'm showing
Speaker 2: you how expensive, like you know, toys can get, showing
Speaker 2: you the most highest quality of them, and then also
Speaker 2: telling you household items that you could use and safety
Speaker 2: tips around them. Other one about healing after a breakup.
Speaker 2: It comes with a breakup playlist of music. Yes, there
Speaker 2: is guided meditation and then there's a workbook as well
Speaker 2: associated with the master class. Oh that's so you do
Speaker 2: get that absolutely free on the form. You only have
Speaker 2: to upload the proof of purchase, so the receipt that
Speaker 2: you got in your email when you ordered it, and
Speaker 2: you get the master class.
Speaker 3: So make sure you get the make sure you do
Speaker 3: the pre make sure.
Speaker 2: You pre order help me to become a New York
Speaker 2: Times bestsellerst.
Speaker 5: Yes, honey, Yes, it's important support black authors. Yes, and
Speaker 5: we'll put everything in this episode description, Mandy, where can
Speaker 5: our Where can I try to find you?
Speaker 2: Okay, so you can find me anywhere on the socials,
Speaker 2: probably cussing people out at full Court Pumps. And then
Speaker 2: you can listen to me every Monday Decisions Decisions and
Speaker 2: every Tuesday Selective Ignorance. So and then of course if
Speaker 2: you want to go on the Patreon and hear me
Speaker 2: talk about mail butt, it is Horrible Decisions on Patreon.
Speaker 5: Beautiful you know where to find us at Good Mom's
Speaker 5: Underscore Bad Choices on Instagram. Make sure you follow our
Speaker 5: Patreon to listen to this very horrorsh tale between.
Speaker 3: Jamila and Mandy.
Speaker 2: Very crazy, very crazy, very wild.
Speaker 4: Very nuts.
Speaker 5: Make sure you go follow the Good Vibe retreat. We
Speaker 5: have some retreats coming up this summer for the ladies
Speaker 5: if they're almost sold out, so make sure you put
Speaker 5: your deposit down and come through to Costa Rica with
Speaker 5: us and make sure you rate and subscribe.
Speaker 3: What does podcast are you gonna come?
Speaker 2: I think it's as long as as long as I'm
Speaker 2: done touring. Like the last.
Speaker 5: Quarter of the year, we have July thirty first through
Speaker 5: August fifth, and then we have August eighth through the thirteenth.
Speaker 2: The touring.
Speaker 3: God, damn it, damn damn.
Speaker 2: I need something like And we had one of the year,
Speaker 2: we had end of the year, top of the year.
Speaker 5: We had one spot in Bali, but it's sold out now,
Speaker 5: So what is Balie November?
Speaker 2: Bit y'all better add a spot sleeping with us?
Speaker 4: I mean, right the first time?
Speaker 2: Okay, don't thriven with a good time? Okay, yeah, Well
Speaker 2: we'll be we'll talk. I've been to Ballety, I like Bali,
Speaker 2: and then I'll skip over to Thailand, which I've been
Speaker 2: wanting to do too.
Speaker 3: Oh, I know, I want to get there too.
Speaker 2: You'll be You'll be a two hour flight if you're
Speaker 2: a volley, I think two to four hours, depending on
Speaker 2: if you know, it doesn't matter you're on that side
Speaker 2: of the world. But you'll be in Southeast Asia.
Speaker 3: I mean, it's a long flight.
Speaker 2: You may as well get as much as you can
Speaker 2: when you get out there.
Speaker 3: That's true, it's true.
Speaker 2: But thank you guys for having me.
Speaker 4: This is fun.
Speaker 2: Thank you for coming. Here's to laughs as per usual.
Speaker 3: We love you, and we'll see you guys next week.
Speaker 2: Say, yeah, it been so good.
Speaker 6: Can't you tell I went through a drought. That's until
Speaker 6: I find a well may might have been known, art
Speaker 6: that used to be broken tail now got the blues
Speaker 6: hands and might beyond say just sell throat shots from
Speaker 6: the pop and this cow wearing our voices patriarch and
Speaker 6: kept it in the box to exploit its women put
Speaker 6: the pee and powers.
Speaker 2: I was pointless. They want me to be good, so
Speaker 2: I make bad choice.
Speaker 6: Bad mom, not a bad mom, but a bad mom
Speaker 6: itters in on for cannabus in their bathbon walked in
Speaker 6: Boston's cap and I blewis cat boss hope dog. Now
Speaker 6: I'm immune to the cat called Herbie and no waisted straight.
Speaker 2: To it like a dollar sign.
Speaker 6: Mother, rent the lover when too with it like a
Speaker 6: water simmer where you're rent the winter essential will when
Speaker 6: the summertime. I do what doll ain't no one that
Speaker 6: needs to run it by