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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is a John your og

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Speaker 1: Okay Storytime podcast host and we got some great stories

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Speaker 1: coming up. Before that, we have a quick two minute

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Speaker 1: break from the sponsors that keep the show a lot.

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Speaker 2: I lost control on a first date and snapped at

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Speaker 2: her family.

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Speaker 3: Oh snap, why are you meeting her family on the

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Speaker 3: first date.

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Speaker 2: I joined a dating site to try and get more dates.

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Speaker 2: That was my only intent. I have been working too

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Speaker 2: much for two years at my new job. I just

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Speaker 2: wanted to have more fun. By the way, this comes

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Speaker 2: from throw A four three five two zero one five

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Speaker 2: and if you want to spit your own stories, go

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Speaker 2: to our slash showka Storytime suppered it. Ooh, I got

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Speaker 2: an email and set up a date with this girl.

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Speaker 2: It's my fifth date from the site and it's been fun.

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Speaker 2: But this one girl was like one of those loved

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Speaker 2: first sight moments. When we met at a restaurant, I

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Speaker 2: saw her. She was perfect. I tried to play it cool,

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Speaker 2: but I felt like I could just cut ties with

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Speaker 2: all the girls I've dated and commit to her physically.

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Speaker 2: She was everything I could ever ask for and exactly

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Speaker 2: my type. Her personality seemed like a ten out of

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Speaker 2: ten about thirty minutes into sitting down, I even order

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Speaker 2: because we were just talking. The chemistry was as good

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Speaker 2: as it was with my first love when I was thirteen.

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Speaker 2: It was perfect, Sparks were flying. I thought I was

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Speaker 2: done and ready to commit right there, But then she

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Speaker 2: tells me to forget about ordering food, that we should

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Speaker 2: go somewhere else. She has an idea. She wouldn't say much,

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Speaker 2: and I like surprises, so I didn't ask. We jumped

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Speaker 2: in my car and drove to a restaurant about twenty

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Speaker 2: minutes away, kind of out of town. It was halfway

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Speaker 2: up a mountain near a ski resort. I'm familiar with

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Speaker 2: the area, so no big deal. We walk in and

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Speaker 2: her family is celebrating her aunt's birthday.

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Speaker 3: I'm viscerally uncomfortable at the thought of doing this on

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Speaker 3: the first he interaction.

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Speaker 2: I hate this, he hate this? What? There were only

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Speaker 2: family members about forty people. She introduces me, and everybody

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Speaker 2: was happy to meet me, really nice. Everyone also knew

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Speaker 2: she was out on a first date. They were asking

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Speaker 2: her stuff like is this the guy? Is this your date?

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Speaker 2: Is this the one? Suddenly I wasn't so cool and relaxed.

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Speaker 2: I felt heavy pressure to be on my best behavior.

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Speaker 2: High pressure to the third degree, but everybody was nice,

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Speaker 2: so that helped. We sat down and I started being

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Speaker 2: questioned by her older sister, her aunt, and another lady

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Speaker 2: whose relation to my date.

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Speaker 3: I forgot, literally first date, and you're being interrogated by

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Speaker 3: extended family members who you don't even know how they're related.

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Speaker 2: And also not even talking to your date. Yeah, you're

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Speaker 2: being like the whole point of her first date is

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Speaker 2: getting to know someone. You're not even talking to your date.

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Speaker 3: I mean, let me let my family get to know

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Speaker 3: you first.

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Speaker 2: Her mom started kind of defending me, telling them to

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Speaker 2: back off and let me eat, but the interrogating continued.

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Speaker 2: After who knows how long, they turned to my date

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Speaker 2: and jokingly said, we approve. That's when I was finally

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Speaker 2: able to get my bearings. I was totally off balanced

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Speaker 2: all night, just tense. I was afraid the back of

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Speaker 2: my shirt would get that big wet spot because I

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Speaker 2: could feel sweat on my back. Then her sister brought

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Speaker 2: her cute little girl and let me hold her. She

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Speaker 2: and my date started to take pictures of me holding her,

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Speaker 2: and then somebody else's baby boy as well. I started

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Speaker 2: to feel like the tone of it all was that

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Speaker 2: we were a couple. I kind of felt like I

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Speaker 2: was married to her and these nice people were my

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Speaker 2: in laws.

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Speaker 3: Okay, well now that sounds more like a you problem, buddy,

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Speaker 3: Like let's use our brains here. Yeah, run away with

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Speaker 3: a fairy tale.

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Speaker 2: First well, I think he's saying it like it felt

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Speaker 2: like they were treating him like this, and he was like, whoa,

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Speaker 2: we just had a first day.

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Speaker 3: It is weird to have to be approved by the

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Speaker 3: entire extended family on.

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Speaker 2: The first well at least yeah, because I feel like

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Speaker 2: some cultures will do this for you, you know, the

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Speaker 2: whole family. Obviously you have an arranged marriages and stuff.

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Speaker 2: But in this case, OPI had no idea that this

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Speaker 2: was happening and was just told, Hey, we're gonna go

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Speaker 2: to this place, and he was like, okay, shows up.

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Speaker 2: Everyone kind of was like, hey, you're on a day

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Speaker 2: and he's like what. Keep in mind her car is

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Speaker 2: still at the other restaurant down the hill. Then her

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Speaker 2: dad suddenly asks me jokingly what my intentions with his

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Speaker 2: daughter are. I can't remember exactly how he phrased the question.

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Speaker 2: Everyone at the table, about half the people there looked

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Speaker 2: at me. I guess I was exhausted from all the

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Speaker 2: questioning by multiple people multiple times, and the pressure of

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Speaker 2: it all because I kind of lost it. He asked

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Speaker 2: the question. I looked across the table at her and

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Speaker 2: she told her dad to stop. Her dad smiles and

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Speaker 2: jokingly says he'd really like to hear my response. Her uncle,

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Speaker 2: I think, also said he'd like to know. Also jokingly,

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Speaker 2: I looked at my date and said, can I talk

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Speaker 2: to you alone for a minute, to which her dad

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Speaker 2: laughs loudly and says, oh, made him nervous. So now

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Speaker 2: everybody is laughing, and I guess it was all a

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Speaker 2: big joke. Then I said again, height and I talked

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Speaker 2: to you alone for a minute. I stood up kind of.

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Speaker 2: It was one of those long bench seats and I

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Speaker 2: couldn't push it back because other people were sitting on it.

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Speaker 2: Then her sister, I think, says, oh, there are no

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Speaker 2: secrets in this family. Speak your mind. People laugh again,

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Speaker 2: and everyone starts making jokes. Then a man who married

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Speaker 2: into the family chimes in, saying he remembers being in

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Speaker 2: my place. He says, let me give you some advice.

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Speaker 2: The best thing to do right now is speak your

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Speaker 2: mind and be honest. Others join in echoing a sentiment. Jokingly,

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Speaker 2: I think, look at my date, and she says something like,

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Speaker 2: you can tell me anything here. We're all family. She

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Speaker 2: too seemed to be joking, but by then I had

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Speaker 2: started to lose my ability to tell when people were

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Speaker 2: joking and when they were serious. Then her dad says, wait,

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Speaker 2: I haven't gotten an answer to my question. So finally

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Speaker 2: I speak directly to him and say I'd like to

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Speaker 2: discuss that with her first. But I regretfully laughed as

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Speaker 2: I said it. So her dad says, I asked you first,

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Speaker 2: I want to know. I turned to my date and

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Speaker 2: she says something like, go ahead, you can tell me.

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Speaker 2: I'm a big girl, I can handle it. So I

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Speaker 2: said okay, sat down and took a couple of breaths

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Speaker 2: while her dad quieted everybody down. I started with I

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Speaker 2: think I made a huge mistake.

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Speaker 1: Oh.

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Speaker 2: It all spiraled down from there. I said harsh things

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Speaker 2: like how I felt like I was having a bad

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Speaker 2: dream where I was suddenly married. I questioned her intentions

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Speaker 2: in bringing me there. I said things like what were

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Speaker 2: you thinking? Yes, I liked you, but I just met you,

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Speaker 2: and right now I know your aunt, I pointed at

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Speaker 2: her better than I know you. I think she was humiliated,

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Speaker 2: but I could stop. The more I spoke, the worse

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Speaker 2: it got. Total tailspin. I said, I wanted to find

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Speaker 2: someone special, but didn't want to skip the first twenty

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Speaker 2: nine dates and jump straight to date thirty, which is

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Speaker 2: what had happened that night. Then people started interrupting, suggesting

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Speaker 2: we slow down and have a real first date. I

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Speaker 2: wasn't having it. I was out of control. I said, no,

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Speaker 2: it's too late for that. I feel robbed. I wanted

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Speaker 2: to meet this girl, get to know her, date her,

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Speaker 2: and maybe fall for her. But now it's like we're engaged.

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Speaker 2: Her whole family is here, and there are all these expectations.

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Speaker 2: We skip the getting to know each other and dating part.

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Speaker 2: I feel robbed, all right, buddy, Then I said yet

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Speaker 2: another thing I regret a little bit more. It's a

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Speaker 2: huge red flag that I asked for a minute alone

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Speaker 2: with you two to talk, and this is what I

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Speaker 2: got instead. I yaded, you're all great, a great family,

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Speaker 2: but the lack of certain boundaries is a huge red

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Speaker 2: flag for me. I would never let my relationship become

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Speaker 2: family business.

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Speaker 3: Buddy, Relax, dude.

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Speaker 2: At this point, my dear interrupts me and says, okay,

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Speaker 2: so let's talk in private. Let's go outside and talk.

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry I didn't give you that minute. Let's go

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Speaker 2: outside and talk privately. I'll give you all night. She

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Speaker 2: was visibly shaken, and I could tell tears were inevitable.

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Speaker 2: I stood up again and realized that I insulted all

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Speaker 2: of them, so I just walked out. I felt really

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Speaker 2: bad because they were all nice and had nothing but

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Speaker 2: the best intentions. They love her and were literally telling

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Speaker 2: me I was good enough, which should have been a compliment.

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Speaker 2: I somehow took it the wrong way and spat in

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Speaker 2: their faces. I didn't even drink and edit. We walked

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Speaker 2: out and I let her have it again. She was

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Speaker 2: now sobbing uncontrollably. She apologized and pretty much begged for

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Speaker 2: us to start over. I told her I wasn't into

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Speaker 2: it and left her there.

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Speaker 3: Broh, relax, what are we doing. You're like, she's ten

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Speaker 3: out of ten, she's got the best personality. You're gonna

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Speaker 3: let one bad first date? Huge red thing for me

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Speaker 3: is Then we stepped outside and I let her have

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Speaker 3: it again. This situation's already difused. Now, buddy, you have

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Speaker 3: no excuse. I drove home and couldn't help. But wonder

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Speaker 3: if I overreacted. You did just a little bit a lot.

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Speaker 3: I'm disagreeing with her.

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Speaker 2: I yeah, I think we're on different pages.

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Speaker 3: I'm just great.

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Speaker 2: I love it this happens, but I'm like, I like

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Speaker 2: understand it. I couldn't sleep, and I woke up this

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Speaker 2: morning feeling like I probably did overact. Now I feel

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Speaker 2: like crap, but it's done. I can't undo it. Edit.

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Speaker 2: Let me ask this more clearly. Should I call her

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Speaker 2: and apologize for humiliating her and insulting her family? Or

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Speaker 2: should I just move on? Or should I wait to

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Speaker 2: see if she calls or in apologize then and there

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Speaker 2: is an update. I do think that he could call,

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Speaker 2: yes and say like, hey, really sorry for the outburst.

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Speaker 2: I think I just felt really overwhelmed. I don't know

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Speaker 2: if I want to keep this going, but I did

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Speaker 2: want to apologize. Just want to clear something up. My

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Speaker 2: date never had a profile on the dating site. She

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Speaker 2: was browsing through with her friend who has a profile,

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Speaker 2: and they were looking for a date for her friend.

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Speaker 2: It was the friend who originally messaged me to set

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Speaker 2: me up with my date. Also, I deleted my profile.

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Speaker 2: I'm totally done with online dating. I've been in this

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Speaker 2: city two years now, so I'm just going to go

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Speaker 2: out and meet people the old fashioned why. It just

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Speaker 2: feels less risky somehow. I know this is going to

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Speaker 2: disappoint many of you, but I decided to speak with

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Speaker 2: her the very day I posted here was the day

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Speaker 2: immediately after our date. That same evening, she called me,

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Speaker 2: but I didn't answer because I was in the shower.

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Speaker 2: So she sent me a text that said, do you

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Speaker 2: hate me too much to talk to me? I texted back,

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Speaker 2: I don't hate you. She responded, can I call you?

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Speaker 2: I texted yes, So she called and immediately went into

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Speaker 2: full apology damage control mode. I told her that I

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Speaker 2: was okay and that I was already over it and

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Speaker 2: had moved on. She asked if there was any way

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Speaker 2: we could meet because there were some things she wanted

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Speaker 2: to say in person, and she wanted us to part

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Speaker 2: with a handshake and all that. It kind of sounded

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Speaker 2: like she needed closure.

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Speaker 3: So okay. So again, I feel like they're.

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Speaker 2: Taking making this a lot more serious that it's one

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Speaker 2: day and she needs closure.

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Speaker 3: I think we're missing info. I think that there was,

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Speaker 3: and that's why the whole family already knew about this guy.

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Speaker 3: It was like, it's just a dating app, but it's

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Speaker 3: like clearly they were talking in a way that made

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Speaker 3: her feel like, oh my god, me and this guy

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Speaker 3: click like bing bang boom like And how apparently the

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Speaker 3: family text is deceptive.

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Speaker 2: You can click over.

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Speaker 3: Echoed that sentiment. He literally said, she's perfect.

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Speaker 2: I know, but I think it's decept I think I

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Speaker 2: think they're both like, oh wait, this is the real person,

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Speaker 2: and I don't know if they're real in person. I

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Speaker 2: don't know. So I agreed to meet her downtown to

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Speaker 2: talk the falling Tuesday. Not a date, no lunch, no coffee.

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Speaker 2: We just met at a park. We met and I

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Speaker 2: knew she was still the one. Okay, bing bange boom,

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Speaker 2: What did I say? Wait? She told me she loves

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Speaker 2: me and we decided to try it again. What. We

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Speaker 2: went on three dates and I propose She said, yes,

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Speaker 2: we're gonna get married in no way. No, we're gonna

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Speaker 2: get married in December, no big wedding. We're gonna fly

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Speaker 2: to Las Vegas and do it there. The plan is

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Speaker 2: to spend Christmas as a merry couple.

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Speaker 3: Just kidding you freaking liar, so you can make jokes, huh.

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Speaker 2: I'm not that fing crazy. Hopefully you're still reading. We're

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Speaker 2: still here. The rest of the update continues in the

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Speaker 2: next paragraph. Okay, we met at a park just to talk.

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Speaker 2: I had been so disappointed because I felt that the

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Speaker 2: spark and the butterflies in my stomach would be gone,

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Speaker 2: that I wouldn't like her anymore. As soon as I

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Speaker 2: saw her, this was confirmed. There was no spark.

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Speaker 3: Boo boo this man.

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Speaker 2: She looked great, but I just didn't feel it. It

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Speaker 2: kind of crushed me. So I decided to listen to

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Speaker 2: her as she apologized again and told me she had

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Speaker 2: really liked me on that first date and got carried

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Speaker 2: away making a very dumb decision that she wishes she

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Speaker 2: could take back. She added that her mom had pulled

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Speaker 2: her aside when we arrived and right from the beginning

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Speaker 2: told her that if she liked me, she just made

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Speaker 2: a big mistake by bringing me. I guess her mom

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Speaker 2: pretty much cringed when she saw us walk in that night. Also,

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Speaker 2: I should say that her mom was the only one

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Speaker 2: defending me that night, and practically pulling people off me,

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Speaker 2: like her religious uncle who asked me if I had

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Speaker 2: been saved. I remember that pretty well, but I guess

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Speaker 2: her mom came down on her heart for not just

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Speaker 2: having a first date. But she also said that things

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Speaker 2: got even crazier after I left. Her mom wasn't there

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Speaker 2: for my rant. She had driven somebody home and came

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Speaker 2: back after I had left. She found my date outside

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Speaker 2: crying and was told what happened. Her mom, I guess,

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Speaker 2: stormed to the restaurant and went off on everybody for

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Speaker 2: ganging up on me. My date says she called them

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Speaker 2: a bunch of out of control animals. The whole thing

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Speaker 2: was reduced to a big finger pointing fest by everybody.

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Speaker 2: The mom was furious because the story is that my

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Speaker 2: date's dad left them when my date was nine. He

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Speaker 2: had some sort of breakdown and became a heavy drinker.

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Speaker 2: He became verbally and emotionally abusive, so the mom punted

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Speaker 2: him out to protect the kids. He refused to get

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Speaker 2: his act together and disappeared for almost ten years. So

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Speaker 2: the mom hates when the dad acts like he has

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Speaker 2: a say in his kids' lives since he was gone

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Speaker 2: and just came back less than two years ago, but

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Speaker 2: he still lives over an hour away. A lot of

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Speaker 2: the people who were there, I guess lived far away

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Speaker 2: and flew in for the AD's birthday. Supposedly most of

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Speaker 2: them she only sees once a year at most. When

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Speaker 2: the mom went off on him especially hard and questioned

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Speaker 2: his right to have any say in his daughter's decision

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Speaker 2: to date anybody, she embarrassed him in front of everybody

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Speaker 2: for having overstepped so many boundaries.

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Speaker 3: I also just say, forty people's.

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Speaker 2: A lot a lot of people. She told me this

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Speaker 2: stuff because she wanted me to know that she was

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Speaker 2: very sorry she let her dad act all fatherly when

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Speaker 2: it wasn't the time and it wasn't his place. These

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00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:09,679
Speaker 2: were her words, not mine. In a way, I'm glad

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Speaker 2: the mom wasn't there to witness me going off, because

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Speaker 2: then I would have felt really bad. But come to

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Speaker 2: think of it, she probably would have stepped in and

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Speaker 2: prevented it. Do you ask me if there was a

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Speaker 2: way we could have that first date again? But I said, no, boo,

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Speaker 2: no way I can pretend that we are meaning for

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Speaker 2: the first time. After all of that, I know too

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Speaker 2: much about her. I feel way too gone past that

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Speaker 2: first date mode right now, and maybe I need to

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Speaker 2: take a break from formal dates. I did apologize to

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Speaker 2: her for not telling her right away how uncomfortable I was,

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Speaker 2: and for going off on her outside the restaurant. I

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Speaker 2: told her that there were a lot of nice people

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Speaker 2: there that I felt bad about, but that I'm sure

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Speaker 2: they understood me because they seem reasonable. As I was

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Speaker 2: talking to her, I could see how much better she

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Speaker 2: felt that I had given my own apology. Her face

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Speaker 2: went from subdued and sorry to kind of hopeful and

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Speaker 2: sem me happy. She started to get back her glow

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Speaker 2: and her spunk. We started talking about other stuff, what

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Speaker 2: I do at work, my hobbies, and some other casual stuff.

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Speaker 2: The more I talked, the more she glowed. I felt

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Speaker 2: bad because she showed up looking kind of fragile and contrite.

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Speaker 2: She looked vulnerable, but by the end of our conversation

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Speaker 2: she was smiling and looking more sure of herself. I

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00:14:12,679 --> 00:14:15,040
Speaker 2: tried to show my sense of humor and make her laugh.

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Speaker 2: I felt kind of sorry for her, so I made

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Speaker 2: it my goal to send her own smiling I kind

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Speaker 2: of started to feel that spark again after she started

333
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:24,760
Speaker 2: smiling and laughing more. She has a great laugh. It's

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00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:27,400
Speaker 2: really innocent. It felt a lot like it did at

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Speaker 2: the restaurant. Her awesomeness comes back when she's comfortable. Oh,

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00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:31,480
Speaker 2: she definitely does it for me.

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Speaker 3: Okay, listen, I'm getting terrible vibes from op.

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Speaker 2: I don't know. It seems like they're they're making.

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Speaker 3: Up this is I've met people like this, and it's

340
00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:42,160
Speaker 3: like the people that they see have to fit into

341
00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:45,280
Speaker 3: like and I may be just over generalizing here. He

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00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:47,680
Speaker 3: wants this girl to fit in a nice little box,

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Speaker 3: and it's like the fact that he's Oh, well, when

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00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:52,280
Speaker 3: she was all sad and fragile and subdued, it's I

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00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:54,640
Speaker 3: didn't care anything for When she started laughing the way

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00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:56,760
Speaker 3: that I wanted her to be, It's like I started

347
00:14:56,760 --> 00:14:58,280
Speaker 3: to feel the spark again. It's like, who do you

348
00:14:58,280 --> 00:14:59,640
Speaker 3: think you are? The king of the world.

349
00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:04,040
Speaker 2: But again, this is a person he's only been on

350
00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:08,000
Speaker 2: one date with, exactly introduces him to his entire family.

351
00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:11,840
Speaker 2: But I'm like deeply uncomfortable at that thought. And then

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00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:14,440
Speaker 2: and then shows up and is apologizing, but it's like

353
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:17,440
Speaker 2: like crying and You're like, I don't I just met you. Okay,

354
00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:18,600
Speaker 2: literally just met you.

355
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Speaker 3: To your point, they've literally just met And what is

356
00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:23,480
Speaker 3: he saying? He's describing her getting her spark back, her

357
00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:26,600
Speaker 3: getting her spunk going again. It's like, how do you

358
00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:27,200
Speaker 3: know that?

359
00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:30,560
Speaker 2: Who are you? She definitely does it for me. I

360
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:32,960
Speaker 2: walked her to her car and we agree that another

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00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:35,160
Speaker 2: date is probably not a good idea right now. She

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00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:37,600
Speaker 2: wanted to meet my yoga teacher because she's the best

363
00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:40,280
Speaker 2: my date. I feel weird not typing her name. As said,

364
00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:42,880
Speaker 2: she needs to learn to relax more when she's stressed out.

365
00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:45,600
Speaker 2: So I met her at yoga class the following Thursday

366
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Speaker 2: and made the introduction. My date has been coming to

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Speaker 2: the same three yoga sessions that I do weekly. We

368
00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:53,320
Speaker 2: talk there. She still flirts with me and hints that

369
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:55,480
Speaker 2: we should meet for hot tea. Neither of us is

370
00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:57,800
Speaker 2: a coffee drinker. I walk her to her car after

371
00:15:57,880 --> 00:16:00,520
Speaker 2: class because it's dark by then. Still like her, and

372
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:02,920
Speaker 2: I can tell she feels the same way. The spark

373
00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:06,360
Speaker 2: is all the way back. Now, the spark's back, Dakota,

374
00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:07,840
Speaker 2: no sparks.

375
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Speaker 3: I don't know I have bad vibes or I don't

376
00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:11,360
Speaker 3: like it.

377
00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:13,680
Speaker 2: But all those comments I got here on my original

378
00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:17,040
Speaker 2: post about her being crazy are still completely launched in

379
00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:19,800
Speaker 2: my head. They have me second guessing myself about staying

380
00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:21,760
Speaker 2: in touch with her. I'm not sure what I'm going

381
00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:24,320
Speaker 2: to do, but whatever it is, it's gonna take time.

382
00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:28,120
Speaker 2: There is another update, final thoughts, because I think I

383
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:31,680
Speaker 2: think all my thoughts have been spoken. I think we agree,

384
00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:33,080
Speaker 2: but for different reasons.

385
00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:36,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, we agree, but we're on opposite sides of the fence.

386
00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:39,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like we should like we're coming over here

387
00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:42,640
Speaker 2: and we're on different sides, and but we're both merging

388
00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:46,600
Speaker 2: to say they should not be together. Updates too. We

389
00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:49,960
Speaker 2: continue to attend the same yoga class. Then I accepted

390
00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:52,560
Speaker 2: an invitation for her to get tea after class. We

391
00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:54,640
Speaker 2: had a lot of fun and made plans for an

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00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:55,600
Speaker 2: official date.

393
00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:59,160
Speaker 3: Woo this man again for different reasons.

394
00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:03,720
Speaker 2: Bye, I want you guys to officially listen to more

395
00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:06,879
Speaker 2: full episodes with stories just like this. Just go to Spotify,

396
00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:09,600
Speaker 2: Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcast to happen. Search up. Okay,

397
00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:10,800
Speaker 2: story time, ease, do with that.

398
00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:12,720
Speaker 3: Go do it and do it as soon as you're

399
00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:14,400
Speaker 3: done with wait off this episode.

400
00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:16,400
Speaker 2: But there is a little bit left. I went out

401
00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:18,639
Speaker 2: on a date with her. We dated for a while

402
00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:22,119
Speaker 2: and took it really slowly. I asked her to be

403
00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:25,160
Speaker 2: my girlfriend in early February. So far things have gone

404
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:27,240
Speaker 2: really smoothly. My lease is up in June, and I

405
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:29,280
Speaker 2: want to move out of my apartment because it's kind

406
00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:31,560
Speaker 2: of a bachelor place. I want to rent a house

407
00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:33,439
Speaker 2: and ask her to move in. I feel like our

408
00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:36,360
Speaker 2: relationship is growing fast and deepening fast, but I think

409
00:17:36,359 --> 00:17:39,320
Speaker 2: the reason is because we turned out to be so compatible. Also,

410
00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:41,359
Speaker 2: I really am in love with her and she with me,

411
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:43,719
Speaker 2: so I don't want to take it so anymore. I

412
00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:45,680
Speaker 2: know she's going to be very happy when I ask

413
00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:48,359
Speaker 2: her to move in with me. So that's where things are,

414
00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:50,119
Speaker 2: and that is the end of that story.

415
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:52,919
Speaker 3: I truly do not know what to make of all.

416
00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:54,680
Speaker 2: I don't either, But you know what, if they're happy,

417
00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:55,520
Speaker 2: they're happy. I guess.

418
00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:56,359
Speaker 3: I guess.

419
00:17:56,440 --> 00:17:58,800
Speaker 2: I really that we got an update where it's like

420
00:17:58,960 --> 00:17:59,879
Speaker 2: and I met our family.

421
00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:04,080
Speaker 3: Why, good luck. That's all I can say, I guess.

422
00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:05,560
Speaker 3: But that is the end of that story.

423
00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:07,800
Speaker 2: Yep. So we're gonna get into the next one.

424
00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:13,960
Speaker 3: My girlfriend's family insulted me during Thanksgiving, but my girlfriend

425
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:17,760
Speaker 3: didn't defit me break out. So to give some context,

426
00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:19,800
Speaker 3: I was born in India and moved to America when

427
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:22,119
Speaker 3: I was five years old, while my girlfriend, on the

428
00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:24,480
Speaker 3: other hand, is white. We've been together for two years

429
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:29,520
Speaker 3: now and it's been an absolutely incredible relationship. No by

430
00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:33,040
Speaker 3: the way, this comes from music Chat's hit Get Banged

431
00:18:33,119 --> 00:18:35,119
Speaker 3: one oh one and if you want to submit your

432
00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:36,840
Speaker 3: own stories, go do it at the r slash Okay

433
00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:40,880
Speaker 3: storytime suburd. She's kind, sweet, fun and I really do

434
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:42,760
Speaker 3: want to spend the rest of my life with her.

435
00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:45,760
Speaker 3: We've never really faced any sort of confrontation or prejudice

436
00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:49,720
Speaker 3: for our relationship. At college. Nobody cares, which is why

437
00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:53,800
Speaker 3: I wasn't prepared at all or her family. Anyways, we're

438
00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:56,520
Speaker 3: getting pretty serious now. We're planning to move in together

439
00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:59,800
Speaker 3: next semester, and I'm planning on proposing after we graduate.

440
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:00,119
Speaker 1: Hello.

441
00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:02,879
Speaker 3: Oh, she wanted me to meet her family. I guess

442
00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:05,440
Speaker 3: to take the next step or whatever, So she invited

443
00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:08,080
Speaker 3: me to her place for Thanksgiving weekend. She warned me

444
00:19:08,119 --> 00:19:10,960
Speaker 3: her family was kind of different and to try and

445
00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:14,480
Speaker 3: interact and be nice to everyone. When we got there

446
00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:17,159
Speaker 3: and she introduced me to everyone, they all looked at

447
00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:19,360
Speaker 3: me as if they'd never seen a brown guy their

448
00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:24,080
Speaker 3: entire life. It was really awkward. While I was shaking

449
00:19:24,119 --> 00:19:27,080
Speaker 3: everyone's hand, her two older brothers ignored me and walked

450
00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:29,639
Speaker 3: away when I stuck my hand out to them, and

451
00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:32,960
Speaker 3: that's the moment I'm leaving. At first, I thought it

452
00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:35,600
Speaker 3: was because they were weird around new people, so I

453
00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:37,560
Speaker 3: didn't think much of it. I didn't really get a

454
00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:39,880
Speaker 3: chance to talk with anyone, as we got in late

455
00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:43,320
Speaker 3: at night and I was so tired. The next morning,

456
00:19:43,359 --> 00:19:46,360
Speaker 3: on Thanksgiving, everyone was watching football in the living room,

457
00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:48,639
Speaker 3: so I went and joined them. Her brothers were talking

458
00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:51,879
Speaker 3: some football strategy when the Eagles were getting their butts kicked,

459
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:54,760
Speaker 3: and so I commented on one of the things they said.

460
00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:57,479
Speaker 3: They immediately started laughing and said, what do you know

461
00:19:57,520 --> 00:20:00,720
Speaker 3: about sports? Did you even play any I told them yes,

462
00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:03,399
Speaker 3: I played basketball and did track in high school. They

463
00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:06,280
Speaker 3: laughed and said your sports teams must have been crap.

464
00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:09,040
Speaker 3: I've never seen an athletic brown guy. I didn't say

465
00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:11,840
Speaker 3: anything in response. I just got up left and ignored

466
00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:13,439
Speaker 3: them for the rest of the day. Then later on,

467
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:16,240
Speaker 3: during the dinner, her uncle asked me what I was studying.

468
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:18,280
Speaker 3: I told them I was doing a business degree and

469
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:20,640
Speaker 3: was planning on going to law school. Her d bag

470
00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:22,960
Speaker 3: brothers then chimed in and said, I thought you would

471
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,760
Speaker 3: follow the family business, you know, gold run a cole

472
00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:28,600
Speaker 3: center or seven to eleven or whatever. They also noticed

473
00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:30,520
Speaker 3: how I wasn't eating any meat, so they asked my

474
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:33,560
Speaker 3: girlfriend why, and she responded that I'm a vegetarian, and

475
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:36,359
Speaker 3: their response was no, wonder. I've never seen a puff

476
00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:39,359
Speaker 3: brown guy my entire life. At this point, I was

477
00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:42,080
Speaker 3: so close to just leaving, but I thought I could

478
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:44,880
Speaker 3: just put up with them a bit more for my girlfriend.

479
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:47,320
Speaker 3: A bit later, her dad and some other relatives were

480
00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:50,440
Speaker 3: talking about Trump and how he's completely right about Muslims

481
00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:54,359
Speaker 3: cheering during nine to eleven or some b s. I

482
00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:57,840
Speaker 3: completely zoned out to their nonsense. Then her dad asked me,

483
00:20:58,119 --> 00:21:01,360
Speaker 3: are you Muslim, which I said no to her grandma

484
00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:04,880
Speaker 3: then said, bs, you look like one, and your name

485
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:09,240
Speaker 3: is like one. All of you basically slurs disgust me.

486
00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:12,879
Speaker 3: After that, I was effing done. I tried to be kind,

487
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:16,560
Speaker 3: but these efforts treat me like crap and insisted on

488
00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:20,199
Speaker 3: saying stupid, prejudicial things about myself and my race, my

489
00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:22,600
Speaker 3: girlfriend followed me up to her room. I told her

490
00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:24,679
Speaker 3: I was leaving and going to stay in a hotel,

491
00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:27,120
Speaker 3: but she begged me to stay.

492
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:29,600
Speaker 2: For one more night, breaking up with her. Breaking up

493
00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:31,640
Speaker 2: with her, Yeah, I'm breaking up with her right then.

494
00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:33,560
Speaker 3: It's like, do not even see like.

495
00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:37,640
Speaker 2: You put him in this situation? Like obviously his family

496
00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:40,360
Speaker 2: are like terrible monsters, but like she is a freaking

497
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:44,320
Speaker 2: a hole, breaking a hole to put him in this situation,

498
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:48,120
Speaker 2: not defend him, and then have the audacity to tell

499
00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:49,880
Speaker 2: him that he has to stay in it.

500
00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:52,399
Speaker 3: Yeah, she said that we would leave early in the morning.

501
00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:54,600
Speaker 3: She apologized for their behavior but told me this is

502
00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:56,800
Speaker 3: the way they've always been and that she was sorry

503
00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:59,080
Speaker 3: for not defending me. I was about to lay into

504
00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:01,040
Speaker 3: her for not saying anything to defend me, but I

505
00:22:01,040 --> 00:22:03,199
Speaker 3: didn't feel like getting into an argument in front of

506
00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:05,200
Speaker 3: her family. I stayed in her room for the rest

507
00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:07,160
Speaker 3: of the night, avoided all of her family, and left

508
00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:10,760
Speaker 3: early the next morning. We've both avoided the entire incident since,

509
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:12,840
Speaker 3: but I really want to address this before it becomes

510
00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:15,520
Speaker 3: a further issue. We're getting pretty serious, though. I'm probably

511
00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:17,840
Speaker 3: not going to be able to further avoid her family,

512
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:19,800
Speaker 3: So I want some advice on how to deal with

513
00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:22,639
Speaker 3: these types of people. What should I do? There's an update.

514
00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:24,920
Speaker 3: So yeah, a lot of crap has gone down since

515
00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:26,800
Speaker 3: my original post. First of all, I want to thank

516
00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:30,080
Speaker 3: everyone for their responses. Moving on, yesterday, I texted my

517
00:22:30,119 --> 00:22:32,800
Speaker 3: girlfriend to come over to my apartment to talk. I

518
00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:34,919
Speaker 3: was planning on telling her that I was really upset

519
00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:37,280
Speaker 3: by the fact that she didn't defend me at all

520
00:22:37,359 --> 00:22:40,280
Speaker 3: from her relatives and that she didn't prepare me by

521
00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:44,000
Speaker 3: properly informing me of how her family behaves. In addition,

522
00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:45,840
Speaker 3: I was hoping we could make an agreement for the

523
00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:48,920
Speaker 3: future on how to properly deal with these sorts of situations.

524
00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:51,280
Speaker 3: So she came over later on in the evening. We

525
00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:54,640
Speaker 3: sat down, and I first began by discussing how pissed

526
00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:58,200
Speaker 3: I was that she neither prepared me for the incident

527
00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:01,600
Speaker 3: nor defended me when it occurred. She immediately broke down

528
00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:04,679
Speaker 3: and started crying. Then she started saying how sorry she

529
00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:06,840
Speaker 3: was for putting me in that situation, and that she

530
00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:10,080
Speaker 3: had her reasons. The only reason that you do that

531
00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:14,400
Speaker 3: is because you're afraid your not white boyfriend is going

532
00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:16,320
Speaker 3: to break up with you when he finds out your

533
00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:17,760
Speaker 3: whole family is raised.

534
00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:19,639
Speaker 2: Yeah, which is not a good enough reason.

535
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:23,840
Speaker 3: That's you being scared, that's you being selfish. Apparently, she

536
00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:26,120
Speaker 3: had kept me a secret from her family for the

537
00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:29,600
Speaker 3: past two years because she knew they would not approve

538
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:31,880
Speaker 3: of her choices. A few months ago, one of her

539
00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:34,439
Speaker 3: family friends that we go to college with, saw us

540
00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:36,480
Speaker 3: together on a date or something. She then went and

541
00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:39,560
Speaker 3: told her family that my girlfriend was dating an Indian guy.

542
00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:42,159
Speaker 3: So for the last few months, without my knowledge, my

543
00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:45,520
Speaker 3: girlfriend has been constantly getting phone calls, texts, and emails

544
00:23:45,560 --> 00:23:48,639
Speaker 3: from her family and old friends that she should break

545
00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:50,639
Speaker 3: up with me, she could do a lot better, and

546
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:54,359
Speaker 3: that she wasn't safe around someone like me. She basically

547
00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:57,920
Speaker 3: ignored all of their requests and repeatedly tried to explain

548
00:23:57,960 --> 00:24:00,159
Speaker 3: to them that she was happy with me and they

549
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:02,399
Speaker 3: should try and respect her feelings. She showed me some

550
00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:05,320
Speaker 3: texts and it displayed how they were emotionally blackmailing her,

551
00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:07,840
Speaker 3: saying bs like they put food on her table and

552
00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:09,719
Speaker 3: took care of her for all these years, and she

553
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:12,160
Speaker 3: doesn't care for her family at all. After a few

554
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:14,280
Speaker 3: months of this, she told them that they should at

555
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:16,240
Speaker 3: least give me a chance and meet me with the

556
00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:19,119
Speaker 3: hope that they would somehow change their opinion and understand

557
00:24:19,119 --> 00:24:21,320
Speaker 3: her feelings. She didn't want to tell me the full

558
00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:23,800
Speaker 3: scope of how fed up her family was because she

559
00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:25,760
Speaker 3: was scared I would break up with her. I was

560
00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:30,040
Speaker 3: really saddened to hear this, because that would never happen. Also,

561
00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:34,080
Speaker 3: the reason she remained quiet during her family's remarks was

562
00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:38,440
Speaker 3: that she thought arguing back would further exacerbate this situation

563
00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:40,960
Speaker 3: and we would have no chance of them changing their opinion.

564
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:43,200
Speaker 3: Hey girl, you don't have that chance at all ever

565
00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:45,679
Speaker 3: in the beginn No. No. After I had left their

566
00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:48,239
Speaker 3: house the morning after Thanksgiving, her parents told her how

567
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:50,960
Speaker 3: rude and disrespectful they found me. They also said how

568
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:53,639
Speaker 3: it wasn't proper for her to it date outside of

569
00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:56,080
Speaker 3: her race. Yeah, which that's not rude at all. Right,

570
00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:57,600
Speaker 3: that's not a rude thing to say.

571
00:24:57,720 --> 00:24:57,960
Speaker 4: Ah.

572
00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:02,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're like rude and disrespect us. Never, those are

573
00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:06,000
Speaker 2: just totally normal, not raised comments that everyone makes.

574
00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:08,439
Speaker 3: Maybe they just went to maybe this Thanksgiving was on

575
00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:10,760
Speaker 3: a Wednesday and it was opposite day. Yeah, and they

576
00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:12,320
Speaker 3: were like, why was he being so We were trying

577
00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:15,280
Speaker 3: to be and mean because we wanted to be not

578
00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:18,320
Speaker 3: much we like him. Her grandmother apparently thought I was

579
00:25:18,359 --> 00:25:21,960
Speaker 3: part of Obama's Muslim brotherhood, sent here to fight for

580
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:25,320
Speaker 3: the Islamification of America. Lol, I know I had no

581
00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:29,080
Speaker 3: idea idiots like this existed. They then gave her an ultimatum.

582
00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:32,320
Speaker 3: Either end our relationship or they would cut her off completely. Girl,

583
00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:35,080
Speaker 3: look at that. You have found yourself in a perfect position.

584
00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:38,120
Speaker 3: Let this thinky trash take itself out.

585
00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:43,119
Speaker 2: It is not worth selling your soul to the literal devil. Like,

586
00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:45,920
Speaker 2: obviously it's going to be a lot harder to pay off,

587
00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:47,399
Speaker 2: you know, if you have student loans and stuff you

588
00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:48,720
Speaker 2: have to get, that's going to be a lot harder.

589
00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:51,880
Speaker 2: But in the long run, like cutting yourself off from

590
00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:55,640
Speaker 2: these horrible, horrible people who are going to make your

591
00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:59,080
Speaker 2: life a nightmare and hold the money that they spent

592
00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:01,520
Speaker 2: on you over your head forever. It's just like in

593
00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:03,080
Speaker 2: the long run, so just cut them off.

594
00:26:03,320 --> 00:26:05,840
Speaker 3: Beyond that, it's look at look at them, look at

595
00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:08,480
Speaker 3: you and say, are these people, Like, are these people

596
00:26:08,560 --> 00:26:10,480
Speaker 3: people I want to have around? Is this behavior I

597
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:12,399
Speaker 3: would tolerate in any context?

598
00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:12,720
Speaker 1: Yeah?

599
00:26:12,760 --> 00:26:15,000
Speaker 3: And like if the answer is yes, you need to

600
00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:16,240
Speaker 3: do some serious self reflection.

601
00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:19,080
Speaker 2: Also, she absolutely is part of the problem.

602
00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:22,000
Speaker 3: Fingers crossed. This story ends with her cutting her entire family.

603
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:25,639
Speaker 3: Her parents pay for both her college and her residence expenses.

604
00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:27,440
Speaker 3: She was trying to find the right time and the

605
00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:29,399
Speaker 3: best way to tell me this, which I'm guessing is

606
00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:31,720
Speaker 3: why she avoided this topic for the past week. She

607
00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:33,840
Speaker 3: came to the decision that she wanted to continue dating

608
00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:36,880
Speaker 3: me and informed her family of that decision. And by

609
00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:38,840
Speaker 3: the way, I'm going to inform you right now that

610
00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:41,399
Speaker 3: you can make a decision to listen to full episodes

611
00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:43,639
Speaker 3: with stories like this. All you have to do is

612
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:45,959
Speaker 3: go to Spotify or Apple Podcasts or wherever you get

613
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:48,440
Speaker 3: your podcasts from, even YouTube.

614
00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:49,320
Speaker 2: If you want to search.

615
00:26:49,359 --> 00:26:50,119
Speaker 3: Okay, storytime, go.

616
00:26:50,119 --> 00:26:50,679
Speaker 2: Ahead and do that.

617
00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:54,640
Speaker 3: There's forty seven days worth of episodes for you to listen.

618
00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:55,920
Speaker 2: To, back to back to back to back to back.

619
00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:57,879
Speaker 3: There is a little bit of story left. Honestly, I

620
00:26:58,040 --> 00:27:01,399
Speaker 3: like there's nothing. Say yeah, these people.

621
00:27:01,119 --> 00:27:04,159
Speaker 2: Are awful, yes, and you need to dump them.

622
00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:06,520
Speaker 3: One hundred percent. For the next hour we discussed whether

623
00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:08,399
Speaker 3: or not this was the right decision for her. I

624
00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:10,400
Speaker 3: felt guilty that I would be the reason she goes

625
00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:12,560
Speaker 3: into massive student dead. But she told me this was

626
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:15,520
Speaker 3: the right choice. She could no longer stand their toxic

627
00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:18,600
Speaker 3: presence in her life, and the way they treated me

628
00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:21,880
Speaker 3: was the last straw. So I guess this is where

629
00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:23,880
Speaker 3: we're at right now. We're trying to figure out how

630
00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:27,040
Speaker 3: to deal with all the fallout together. And in all honesty,

631
00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:29,200
Speaker 3: I'm very proud of her for the way she handled

632
00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:32,280
Speaker 3: an extremely difficult situation. I wish that she had told

633
00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:34,480
Speaker 3: me beforehand so we could have dealt with this together.

634
00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:37,320
Speaker 3: But she held strong to what her personal feelings were

635
00:27:37,359 --> 00:27:40,000
Speaker 3: and didn't allow herself to be walked all over by

636
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:41,919
Speaker 3: her family. She's been through a lot of crap in

637
00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:44,080
Speaker 3: her life, and I'm really happy that she stood up

638
00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:45,800
Speaker 3: to them. And that is the end of that story.

639
00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:47,920
Speaker 3: And would you look at that she cut them off.

640
00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:51,160
Speaker 2: There we go, that's what we wanted to happen. I mean,

641
00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:56,639
Speaker 2: obviously she made a ginormous, ginormous error indeed, let me

642
00:27:56,680 --> 00:28:01,479
Speaker 2: getting this story, but she is absolutely at fault for that. Indeed,

643
00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:03,240
Speaker 2: we did say that the only way that she could

644
00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:06,280
Speaker 2: potentially move forward is by cutting them off, and then

645
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:10,879
Speaker 2: she cut them alof so thus they made together.

646
00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:13,199
Speaker 3: Yeah, yes, we're moving forward and that is the end

647
00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:13,760
Speaker 3: of that story.

648
00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:16,760
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam' your og host. Here. We're gonna get

649
00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:18,440
Speaker 1: back to the stories. But here's three minutes of ads

650
00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:19,200
Speaker 1: from our sponsors.

651
00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:23,560
Speaker 2: My sister skipped meeting my baby for a concerts.

652
00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:25,919
Speaker 1: I mean, was it Taylor. Yeah, it's Taylor Swift and

653
00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:27,879
Speaker 1: it's like front row seeds. I mean, come out on

654
00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:28,760
Speaker 1: that baby.

655
00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:32,040
Speaker 2: This is a very long story. Sorry in advance, there

656
00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:35,800
Speaker 2: are so many details. I thirty four female, am originally

657
00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:38,800
Speaker 2: from Toronto, Canada. I was born and raised there until

658
00:28:38,840 --> 00:28:41,840
Speaker 2: I was fourteen, and then moved to Seattle, Washington, where

659
00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:44,320
Speaker 2: I currently live. My dad moved here with my ex

660
00:28:44,360 --> 00:28:46,880
Speaker 2: stepmom years ago and my half sister. By the way,

661
00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:49,080
Speaker 2: this comes from Think Discussion eight sixty to two and

662
00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:50,520
Speaker 2: if you want to spit your own stories, go to

663
00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:53,360
Speaker 2: our slash joke story time Separate it. So, my relationship

664
00:28:53,360 --> 00:28:56,080
Speaker 2: with my dad has always been pretty shallow. He's not

665
00:28:56,200 --> 00:28:58,360
Speaker 2: one to talk about a lot of deep talk topics,

666
00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:01,240
Speaker 2: and throughout my childhood he was very present. But I

667
00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:04,080
Speaker 2: have concluded my relationship with him won't be deep, and

668
00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:06,480
Speaker 2: I've accepted it for what it is. My half sister,

669
00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:09,240
Speaker 2: twenty four female and I have a very good relationship.

670
00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:12,760
Speaker 2: We've texted and talked on the phone often, usually texting

671
00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:14,600
Speaker 2: daily and talking on the phone weekly.

672
00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:15,560
Speaker 1: Oh that's kind of cute.

673
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:18,280
Speaker 2: Since we were young, I've felt the need to protect her.

674
00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:20,880
Speaker 2: Her mom, my ex stepmom, and our dad used to

675
00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:23,080
Speaker 2: fight a lot, to the point of the cops being

676
00:29:23,120 --> 00:29:25,960
Speaker 2: called and parents going to jail for the night. That's

677
00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:29,800
Speaker 2: more than fighting a lot. WHOA. Because of this, her

678
00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:32,480
Speaker 2: sense of stability in the parents wasn't really there. I

679
00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:35,000
Speaker 2: wanted to be something stable for her. Since then, we've

680
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:37,480
Speaker 2: grown and she moved back to Toronto with her mom

681
00:29:37,520 --> 00:29:39,720
Speaker 2: and I stayed in Seattle. But I always wanted to

682
00:29:39,760 --> 00:29:41,880
Speaker 2: see her, so I bought her plane tickets for her

683
00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:43,800
Speaker 2: to come visit me, and I bought flights to go

684
00:29:43,840 --> 00:29:46,640
Speaker 2: see her in Toronto along with other family that lives there.

685
00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:48,640
Speaker 2: And when she's here, I want to spoil her, so

686
00:29:48,680 --> 00:29:51,560
Speaker 2: we go to cafes, have lunches, go to events, get

687
00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:55,240
Speaker 2: matching sister tattoos, I take her shopping. I've even bought

688
00:29:55,240 --> 00:29:57,520
Speaker 2: her a trip to Australia as a gift, and those

689
00:29:57,560 --> 00:30:00,720
Speaker 2: are pricey. I give her cash as gift. I buy

690
00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:03,680
Speaker 2: her jewelry, the books and shoes she wants, etc. I'm

691
00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:06,560
Speaker 2: trying to be there for her by providing experiences and

692
00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:08,400
Speaker 2: giving her things she needs. Slash wants.

693
00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:10,160
Speaker 1: That's really really nice.

694
00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:13,200
Speaker 2: Lovely, And I'm sad about the title because you seem

695
00:30:13,280 --> 00:30:16,959
Speaker 2: like you're a great sister. Yeah. Now my story begins

696
00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:19,360
Speaker 2: after I had a baby in September twenty twenty three.

697
00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:21,480
Speaker 2: I told my family right away when I found out

698
00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:24,000
Speaker 2: I was pregnant eight months earlier, and told them the

699
00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:26,960
Speaker 2: do date. Everyone was excited for the first grandchild. My

700
00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:29,520
Speaker 2: dad had been asking for years when I'd have a

701
00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:32,560
Speaker 2: baby and when he'd become a grandfather. Fast forward to

702
00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:35,160
Speaker 2: having the baby. She was born early September, and my

703
00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:37,560
Speaker 2: mom came to help one month before the baby was

704
00:30:37,600 --> 00:30:39,840
Speaker 2: born and stayed for a month after she was born.

705
00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:40,680
Speaker 3: Great mom.

706
00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:43,440
Speaker 2: During that time, my half sister expressed that she should

707
00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:45,680
Speaker 2: be with me right after I gave birth. I told

708
00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:47,480
Speaker 2: her I could help her pay for a plane ticket,

709
00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:49,800
Speaker 2: or if she needed I could pay for it entirely.

710
00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:51,880
Speaker 2: She said she needed a few days and she'd get

711
00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:54,480
Speaker 2: back to me eventually. She said she can't come because

712
00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:57,200
Speaker 2: she couldn't take time off work and can't afford it.

713
00:30:57,280 --> 00:30:59,120
Speaker 2: But we already know that the sister was going to

714
00:30:59,160 --> 00:30:59,600
Speaker 2: pay for it.

715
00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:02,160
Speaker 1: I mean, but like ty saying I can't get time

716
00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:04,760
Speaker 1: off work, I think that's reason that could be a

717
00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:07,239
Speaker 1: bit more reasonable if it's true, if you're not a

718
00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:08,959
Speaker 1: dirty distinctly liar.

719
00:31:09,320 --> 00:31:11,680
Speaker 2: Didn't make sense to me since I offered to pay

720
00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:14,000
Speaker 2: for her flight, but I let it go. My dad

721
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:16,640
Speaker 2: told me in mid September twenty twenty three, he's going

722
00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:18,880
Speaker 2: to take a trip to New Zealand. He lives in

723
00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:20,960
Speaker 2: the US too, but in the state of Georgia, and

724
00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:23,640
Speaker 2: he booked it for October for sixteen days. I was

725
00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:26,440
Speaker 2: kind of confused he'd travel around the world before meeting

726
00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:29,480
Speaker 2: my daughter, but figured he just needed to travel. He's

727
00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:31,719
Speaker 2: always wanted to go to New Zealand. Sometimes you got

728
00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:33,280
Speaker 2: to take a trip before he become a grandfather.

729
00:31:33,440 --> 00:31:33,640
Speaker 1: Yeah.

730
00:31:33,680 --> 00:31:35,680
Speaker 2: He told my half sister about his trip, and she

731
00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:38,480
Speaker 2: mentioned she was going to quit her job in December

732
00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:41,160
Speaker 2: and if he postpones his trip till after she quits,

733
00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:42,000
Speaker 2: she'll go with him.

734
00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:43,200
Speaker 1: Fine, Okay.

735
00:31:43,520 --> 00:31:45,520
Speaker 2: He did this and move their trip to the first

736
00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:48,080
Speaker 2: two weeks in January twenty twenty four. I was happy

737
00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:50,080
Speaker 2: they could go together and didn't think much of it.

738
00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:52,680
Speaker 2: I still figured they come visit before that trip. Then

739
00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:55,720
Speaker 2: October twenty twenty three comes and my sister tells me

740
00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:59,560
Speaker 2: about weekend long concert she's been going to in Montreal

741
00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:01,440
Speaker 2: and she has to take time off work for it.

742
00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:03,240
Speaker 2: And this is where I start to take.

743
00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:07,440
Speaker 1: Time off work for your weekend long concert, but you

744
00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:10,200
Speaker 1: won't take time off for my baby.

745
00:32:10,480 --> 00:32:11,040
Speaker 2: Ridiculous.

746
00:32:11,360 --> 00:32:14,480
Speaker 1: That's the coolest concert around. You can hear me screaming

747
00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:17,440
Speaker 1: and my baby screaming. It's like a little like Queen concert.

748
00:32:17,560 --> 00:32:19,320
Speaker 3: Like, Wow, I'm gonna cry anyway.

749
00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:22,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, she did this twice and took weekend long trips

750
00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:25,800
Speaker 2: to concerts and rapes. She stayed in Montreal and hotels,

751
00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:28,360
Speaker 2: et cetera. This just didn't aligne with her saying she

752
00:32:28,400 --> 00:32:30,400
Speaker 2: had no time off to see me and no money.

753
00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:32,880
Speaker 2: Then she mentioned these tickets to Portugal are cheap and

754
00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:34,600
Speaker 2: she's going to buy them for the upcoming year.

755
00:32:34,760 --> 00:32:37,720
Speaker 1: Dude, she was just saying she can't afford traveling. This

756
00:32:37,760 --> 00:32:39,400
Speaker 1: is BS, this is stop.

757
00:32:39,520 --> 00:32:41,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is to all the trips that I get

758
00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:43,720
Speaker 3: got treat me.

759
00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:46,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, is how you pay me back on the day

760
00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:47,320
Speaker 2: of my child's birth.

761
00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:48,560
Speaker 1: That's no respect.

762
00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:51,440
Speaker 2: I think she should travel, but it's starting to hurt

763
00:32:51,480 --> 00:32:54,800
Speaker 2: more because it feels like meeting my daughter isn't a priority.

764
00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:57,440
Speaker 2: In November twenty twenty three, I asked my dad if

765
00:32:57,440 --> 00:33:00,040
Speaker 2: he'll come visit anytime soon. He says he can't. He

766
00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:03,560
Speaker 2: uses every excuse every time I ask him. I can't

767
00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:06,360
Speaker 2: because the property I need to fix something, or I

768
00:33:06,400 --> 00:33:08,440
Speaker 2: have to build a fence and go to this meeting

769
00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:08,840
Speaker 2: about it.

770
00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:10,720
Speaker 1: What I have to build offences?

771
00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:13,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, She's like, hey, are you gonna come meet my baby?

772
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:15,160
Speaker 2: And he's like, I've got to build a fence.

773
00:33:15,240 --> 00:33:17,600
Speaker 1: I gotta cook the water. You know, the water's not

774
00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:18,400
Speaker 1: gonna cook itself.

775
00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:20,920
Speaker 2: I eventually gave up asking him. Then I found out

776
00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:23,280
Speaker 2: my half sister went down to Georgia to visit our

777
00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:26,040
Speaker 2: dad in November twenty twenty three, and she took off

778
00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:28,920
Speaker 2: work for that, which all hurts again.

779
00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:29,280
Speaker 1: Oh.

780
00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:32,640
Speaker 2: My dad and half sister then flew to New Zealand

781
00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:35,880
Speaker 2: and January twenty twenty four. Early February twenty twenty four,

782
00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:38,080
Speaker 2: my sister did come out to visit us and meet

783
00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:40,480
Speaker 2: my daughter. At this point, she's five months old. And

784
00:33:40,520 --> 00:33:42,960
Speaker 2: I'm happy she's here. My dad eventually makes it out

785
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:45,080
Speaker 2: to see us in May twenty twenty four, when my

786
00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:47,600
Speaker 2: daughter is eight and a half months old. That's insane

787
00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:49,640
Speaker 2: to me, like as a grandparent, but also just like

788
00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:51,680
Speaker 2: a parent, did not want to immediately come out.

789
00:33:51,720 --> 00:33:55,240
Speaker 1: That's crazy. It's weird that like the family is the

790
00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:59,680
Speaker 1: prioritizing ope at all. I mean, it's really sad, honestly.

791
00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:03,520
Speaker 2: Mid July twenty twenty four, my daughter is ten months old.

792
00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:05,600
Speaker 2: Now I talk to my half sister and tell her

793
00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:08,080
Speaker 2: I'm hurt because meeting my daughter didn't seem like a

794
00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:08,920
Speaker 2: priority for her.

795
00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:10,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, for three weeks.

796
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:14,640
Speaker 2: She's very defensive, telling me nothing big happened to you.

797
00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:16,120
Speaker 2: You just had a baby.

798
00:34:16,280 --> 00:34:19,080
Speaker 1: That is like one of the most important things that

799
00:34:19,160 --> 00:34:21,200
Speaker 1: you was like sarcastic.

800
00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:23,000
Speaker 2: That is one of the most important things.

801
00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:24,920
Speaker 3: What is bigger than having a baby?

802
00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:27,520
Speaker 1: What is like? All right? I feel like it goes like, oh,

803
00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:30,239
Speaker 1: I actually question, would you rather miss someone's marriage? All right?

804
00:34:30,239 --> 00:34:32,560
Speaker 1: You have a marriage and a baby at the same day.

805
00:34:32,600 --> 00:34:35,279
Speaker 1: Would you rather go to go to the wedding the

806
00:34:35,320 --> 00:34:36,280
Speaker 1: wedding over the baby?

807
00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:39,040
Speaker 2: Depending on who? Well, who are they?

808
00:34:39,520 --> 00:34:42,240
Speaker 1: It's it's me, but in two parallel universes.

809
00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:42,960
Speaker 2: It's you, but in two barrels.

810
00:34:43,040 --> 00:34:46,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, are either choosing between seeing the birth of my

811
00:34:46,640 --> 00:34:49,839
Speaker 1: child or in the room you can if you want

812
00:34:49,840 --> 00:34:51,600
Speaker 1: to child.

813
00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:51,879
Speaker 4: Yeah.

814
00:34:51,920 --> 00:34:54,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, let's just let's assume that you have full autonomy.

815
00:34:54,840 --> 00:34:56,359
Speaker 2: I'm fully I'm fully in the room.

816
00:34:56,480 --> 00:34:58,000
Speaker 1: You're fully in the room. You got and I will

817
00:34:58,040 --> 00:34:59,840
Speaker 1: see your eyes roll with tickets.

818
00:35:00,040 --> 00:35:02,399
Speaker 2: I'm your maid and I'm in the room.

819
00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:04,120
Speaker 1: Yes, you're You're my maid of honor and you're in

820
00:35:04,160 --> 00:35:05,080
Speaker 1: the room. Which one do you go?

821
00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:06,960
Speaker 2: I think if I'm your maid of honor, I have

822
00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:07,640
Speaker 2: to be there for you.

823
00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:10,879
Speaker 1: It's true, like you have a responsible have responsibilities. That's true.

824
00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:11,799
Speaker 2: You're not birthing the baby.

825
00:35:11,840 --> 00:35:14,560
Speaker 1: What if you're the doula for the baby, You're you're

826
00:35:14,600 --> 00:35:16,840
Speaker 1: the maid of honor the baby.

827
00:35:19,080 --> 00:35:22,800
Speaker 2: WHOA, Okay, so I'm the midwife, the maid of honor.

828
00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:24,000
Speaker 1: And the maid of honor. Which one do you Which

829
00:35:24,040 --> 00:35:24,440
Speaker 1: one you go?

830
00:35:24,520 --> 00:35:26,440
Speaker 2: Well, I find the midwife. I have to be the midwife.

831
00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:26,759
Speaker 1: Yeah.

832
00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:28,560
Speaker 2: But if I'm just in the room and I'm also

833
00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:31,480
Speaker 2: your Yeah, but I'm saying if I if I was

834
00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:33,279
Speaker 2: in the midwife, I would choose to be your maid

835
00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:35,799
Speaker 2: of honor. Yeah, but if I am the midwife, then

836
00:35:35,840 --> 00:35:37,399
Speaker 2: I got to be in the room, and that I'm

837
00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:39,880
Speaker 2: acting like I and that I should be upset with

838
00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:42,680
Speaker 2: myself because my expectations are so high that I'm going

839
00:35:42,719 --> 00:35:44,759
Speaker 2: to lose everyone I love. When I point out that

840
00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:46,680
Speaker 2: she had the time off work because she went to

841
00:35:46,719 --> 00:35:49,360
Speaker 2: all the concerts and visited our dad, she said she

842
00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:52,040
Speaker 2: barely had the time of and those were spur of

843
00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:55,200
Speaker 2: the moment trips. I point out that she works part time,

844
00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:57,920
Speaker 2: her job isn't full time, and she always gets three

845
00:35:57,960 --> 00:36:00,520
Speaker 2: day weekends. Oh my god, could she have to visit

846
00:36:00,560 --> 00:36:02,440
Speaker 2: for a three day weekend? She said the price of

847
00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:04,880
Speaker 2: the ticket wasn't worth it for only visiting three days,

848
00:36:05,360 --> 00:36:08,239
Speaker 2: which I don't understand. I know she'd rather be here

849
00:36:08,239 --> 00:36:10,319
Speaker 2: for a week. But I even offered to pay for

850
00:36:10,360 --> 00:36:12,640
Speaker 2: the ticket, and when I pointed it out, she said

851
00:36:12,680 --> 00:36:14,640
Speaker 2: she just didn't want to ask me to pay for it.

852
00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:17,480
Speaker 2: She would have rather I just paid for it without

853
00:36:17,520 --> 00:36:20,200
Speaker 2: having to ask you. She's like, why didn't you ask me?

854
00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:23,880
Speaker 1: It's such an arden, just read my mind.

855
00:36:26,080 --> 00:36:29,200
Speaker 2: Then, when I pointed out how she had said no money,

856
00:36:29,239 --> 00:36:31,640
Speaker 2: but she works and our dad also gives her one

857
00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:33,959
Speaker 2: K month just to do whatever she wants. She said,

858
00:36:33,960 --> 00:36:36,160
Speaker 2: how she spends her own money is her own business,

859
00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:39,680
Speaker 2: not mine. This went on for three weeks.

860
00:36:40,080 --> 00:36:41,920
Speaker 1: Then she steth is bickering.

861
00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:42,600
Speaker 3: Wow.

862
00:36:42,719 --> 00:36:44,960
Speaker 2: Then she told her dad. We were arguing and he

863
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:47,120
Speaker 2: called me and said I needed to fix things because

864
00:36:47,120 --> 00:36:49,120
Speaker 2: I'm the older sibling. That if I don't, he's going

865
00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:50,600
Speaker 2: to consider changing his will.

866
00:36:50,880 --> 00:36:53,319
Speaker 1: I don't like when people threaten their will. Yeah, I'm

867
00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:54,839
Speaker 1: like lame on, like I've got.

868
00:36:54,840 --> 00:36:59,200
Speaker 2: A wait until I pass away, I'll show you you're

869
00:36:59,239 --> 00:37:02,360
Speaker 2: not getting a thing. This went on for three weeks.

870
00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:04,080
Speaker 2: Then she told her dad we were arguing and he

871
00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:05,879
Speaker 2: called me, saying I needed to fix it because I'm

872
00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:07,879
Speaker 2: the older sibling and that if I don't, he's going

873
00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:10,480
Speaker 2: to consider changing his will. And he was considering coming

874
00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:13,000
Speaker 2: to live in Seattle to be around me and my family,

875
00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:15,640
Speaker 2: and now he's not because I'm tearing his family apart.

876
00:37:15,800 --> 00:37:18,840
Speaker 2: That's so lame, Like, oh, well, I was thinking about

877
00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:21,200
Speaker 2: moving there to be with you and your child, but

878
00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:23,560
Speaker 2: now not. I don't think I will, and always like

879
00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:24,160
Speaker 2: you never told.

880
00:37:24,040 --> 00:37:26,440
Speaker 1: Me that, yeah, and also like it it's like you're

881
00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:29,160
Speaker 1: having the best of your of both worlds. You know,

882
00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:33,319
Speaker 1: you're like doing exactly the insane terrible behavior that you've

883
00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:35,880
Speaker 1: always wanted to do while getting the benefit of Like

884
00:37:36,160 --> 00:37:38,239
Speaker 1: maybe I would have if you hadn't been so mean.

885
00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:40,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe I would have done it. But you know

886
00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:43,640
Speaker 2: what you guys should do listen to full episodes with

887
00:37:43,680 --> 00:37:47,000
Speaker 2: stories just like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts,

888
00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:49,759
Speaker 2: or your favorite podcast up scho story. Don't do it

889
00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:51,759
Speaker 2: right now, stay where you are, but if you're watching

890
00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:53,319
Speaker 2: this in the future, to them, there's a little bit

891
00:37:53,360 --> 00:37:54,880
Speaker 2: more to the story. I hung up the phone on

892
00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:57,560
Speaker 2: my dad. He hasn't talked to me since that phone call,

893
00:37:57,680 --> 00:38:02,040
Speaker 2: which was back in August twenty twenty four. Sister apologized briefly.

894
00:38:02,200 --> 00:38:04,359
Speaker 2: I told her I'm not happy being treated this way,

895
00:38:04,440 --> 00:38:07,719
Speaker 2: and shewap on me again and went straight back into

896
00:38:07,719 --> 00:38:10,279
Speaker 2: being defensive and then told me it's not worth having

897
00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:12,680
Speaker 2: a relationship with me if we're gonna keep doing this.

898
00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:15,719
Speaker 1: I feel like did something happen. I feel like there's

899
00:38:15,760 --> 00:38:18,799
Speaker 1: some information because they were great for years. I feel

900
00:38:18,840 --> 00:38:20,560
Speaker 1: like there's some information that we're not getting.

901
00:38:20,640 --> 00:38:23,919
Speaker 2: So I'm wondering, Redditt, fam should I have just kept

902
00:38:23,920 --> 00:38:27,239
Speaker 2: my mouth shut and I the ale, are my expectations

903
00:38:27,239 --> 00:38:31,239
Speaker 2: of my family too high? Okay? Okay? And there are

904
00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:34,440
Speaker 2: some comments to finish this off. Comment one says, some

905
00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:37,000
Speaker 2: people just aren't baby people, and your sister is in

906
00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:40,120
Speaker 2: the prime Mimi me twenties base it. They did come

907
00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:42,480
Speaker 2: to see the baby, but their lives are not babies

908
00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:45,520
Speaker 2: centered like yours is. Okay, that's a no, no, no, no

909
00:38:45,520 --> 00:38:47,399
Speaker 2: no no. I think that's a stupid thing to say,

910
00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:48,960
Speaker 2: because even.

911
00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:51,359
Speaker 3: If you don't like babies, mean you're not.

912
00:38:51,560 --> 00:38:53,480
Speaker 2: You don't have to be there to see the baby.

913
00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:56,279
Speaker 2: You can be there to support your sister and your

914
00:38:56,360 --> 00:38:59,080
Speaker 2: daughter who is actively going through one of the most

915
00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:01,560
Speaker 2: painful experience answers of maybe her life.

916
00:39:01,640 --> 00:39:05,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's about supporting someone through their milestone. It's

917
00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:09,440
Speaker 1: really to not support someone through that milestone feels like

918
00:39:09,680 --> 00:39:10,719
Speaker 1: just like you don't care about that.

919
00:39:10,840 --> 00:39:13,479
Speaker 2: It's only fifty percent about this baby. It's also about

920
00:39:13,680 --> 00:39:16,000
Speaker 2: fifty percent about supporting the person who's birthing the child.

921
00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:16,359
Speaker 1: Yeah.

922
00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:18,880
Speaker 2: Not sure what dad's problem is, but my sister is

923
00:39:18,920 --> 00:39:21,240
Speaker 2: aware that going to concerts and lots of fun adult

924
00:39:21,239 --> 00:39:23,680
Speaker 2: activities are probably not going to happen now that baby

925
00:39:23,719 --> 00:39:26,040
Speaker 2: is here. It was okay to tell them your feelings once,

926
00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:28,360
Speaker 2: but stop bringing it up and move on with your life.

927
00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:30,400
Speaker 2: You have your own family now, and your dad and

928
00:39:30,440 --> 00:39:33,040
Speaker 2: sisters seem to be doing okay. They'll come to visit

929
00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:35,879
Speaker 2: on their own time. Meanwhile, enjoy your baby and keep

930
00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:39,680
Speaker 2: your conversations positive. I disagree. I disagree with that comment.

931
00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:40,960
Speaker 1: Enjoy your baby.

932
00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:42,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, like, oh.

933
00:39:42,440 --> 00:39:44,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, your family's living their life. But but like you

934
00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:46,359
Speaker 2: can't be upset. I don't agree with that.

935
00:39:46,640 --> 00:39:48,120
Speaker 1: I mean I think like I.

936
00:39:48,080 --> 00:39:50,200
Speaker 2: Think in terms of, you know, maybe you don't have

937
00:39:50,239 --> 00:39:52,680
Speaker 2: to actively reach out to them because they're not clearly

938
00:39:52,719 --> 00:39:53,440
Speaker 2: not an effort.

939
00:39:53,560 --> 00:39:56,319
Speaker 1: But yeah, I mean I feel like like maybe that's

940
00:39:56,360 --> 00:39:58,840
Speaker 1: good advice, like don't hold on to the hate. But

941
00:39:58,880 --> 00:40:01,839
Speaker 1: I really think maybe that means you see now where

942
00:40:01,840 --> 00:40:04,360
Speaker 1: you fall in the priority wheel of your family, and

943
00:40:04,400 --> 00:40:07,200
Speaker 1: now take that information into how you want to treat

944
00:40:07,239 --> 00:40:07,919
Speaker 1: them going forward.

945
00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:10,960
Speaker 2: Common to not the a hole. I would be her too. Here.

946
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:12,960
Speaker 2: I was bumm that my mom and sister waited a

947
00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:14,920
Speaker 2: week to come see me after my baby, and they

948
00:40:14,960 --> 00:40:17,960
Speaker 2: only waited that long because they'd been sick. Your expectations

949
00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:20,279
Speaker 2: are not too high, especially since you were going to

950
00:40:20,320 --> 00:40:23,279
Speaker 2: pay for your sister's ticket. It sounds like, surely there

951
00:40:23,360 --> 00:40:25,600
Speaker 2: was more going on, or has your relationship with your

952
00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:28,840
Speaker 2: sister always been one sided? Opie says, if there was

953
00:40:28,840 --> 00:40:31,840
Speaker 2: something more going on, they haven't told me the relationship

954
00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:34,080
Speaker 2: has been this one sided. But I figured it's because

955
00:40:34,080 --> 00:40:36,239
Speaker 2: our age gap and she's so much younger. But I've

956
00:40:36,239 --> 00:40:38,720
Speaker 2: always been the one to pay for our experiences and gifts,

957
00:40:38,840 --> 00:40:41,399
Speaker 2: be there for graduations, et cetera. She has never come

958
00:40:41,480 --> 00:40:43,480
Speaker 2: visit me for a big life event. And I even

959
00:40:43,520 --> 00:40:46,240
Speaker 2: had a wedding dress fitting in Toronto and she still

960
00:40:46,239 --> 00:40:48,600
Speaker 2: couldn't make it. I think I'm realizing it was just

961
00:40:48,719 --> 00:40:50,440
Speaker 2: more of a one sided relationship.

962
00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:53,480
Speaker 1: That is that's really really sad.

963
00:40:53,960 --> 00:40:55,600
Speaker 2: I'll be there for your rooms and.

964
00:40:56,080 --> 00:41:00,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, unless as a Bella is having a baby, yeah.

965
00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:02,680
Speaker 2: He says, not the ale your sister. Growing up in

966
00:41:02,719 --> 00:41:05,279
Speaker 2: that chaotic environment and being in your twenties, I can

967
00:41:05,320 --> 00:41:08,000
Speaker 2: see your responses and behavior being like this. I'm in

968
00:41:08,040 --> 00:41:09,640
Speaker 2: my twenties, I wouldn't pull this behavior.

969
00:41:09,719 --> 00:41:11,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you're like your mid twenties now.

970
00:41:11,640 --> 00:41:14,120
Speaker 2: Litl Sis will hopefully get a reality check one day.

971
00:41:14,320 --> 00:41:16,880
Speaker 2: But your dad also still seems to be unstable with

972
00:41:16,920 --> 00:41:20,839
Speaker 2: his behavior and priorities, especially after bugging you about grandkids.

973
00:41:20,920 --> 00:41:23,719
Speaker 2: His gas slighting and putting blame on you is unreal.

974
00:41:24,080 --> 00:41:27,640
Speaker 2: So sorry, enjoy your new little one and hope your replies.

975
00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:30,200
Speaker 2: I've learned to deal with my dad like this. It's

976
00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:32,160
Speaker 2: not the first time he's done this. Thank you for

977
00:41:32,200 --> 00:41:34,800
Speaker 2: your insight. I never really thought or upbringing could be

978
00:41:34,840 --> 00:41:37,560
Speaker 2: impacting my sister in this situation, but it definitely could be.

979
00:41:37,680 --> 00:41:41,080
Speaker 2: And that is the end of that story. Man oh man. Yeah,

980
00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:44,320
Speaker 2: your sister and your dad.

981
00:41:44,440 --> 00:41:45,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I think there for you.

982
00:41:46,200 --> 00:41:48,279
Speaker 2: And now you know that these people are not going

983
00:41:48,320 --> 00:41:50,759
Speaker 2: to prioritize you and just like no going forward, you

984
00:41:50,760 --> 00:41:53,160
Speaker 2: know what, no more paying for flights, and your sister's

985
00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:55,760
Speaker 2: gonna realize that she was relying on you a lot.

986
00:41:55,840 --> 00:42:01,160
Speaker 2: And hopefully you know, get some sense. My parents disown me,

987
00:42:01,400 --> 00:42:03,720
Speaker 2: but now they're asking for financial support.

988
00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:08,440
Speaker 3: I'm going to disown that ask and put you to

989
00:42:08,480 --> 00:42:08,960
Speaker 3: the streets.

990
00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:10,600
Speaker 1: Yeah.

991
00:42:10,640 --> 00:42:15,280
Speaker 2: Background, this is gonna be a bit long throway because

992
00:42:15,280 --> 00:42:18,440
Speaker 2: I use the same username for almost everything I have, sadly,

993
00:42:18,600 --> 00:42:20,640
Speaker 2: so to start off, I'll say that I am an

994
00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:23,920
Speaker 2: Asian American with parents that are very old fashioned Asian.

995
00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:26,840
Speaker 2: By the way, This comes from hey, hey, throwaway and

996
00:42:26,880 --> 00:42:29,359
Speaker 2: if you want to smit your own stories, got our slash. Okay,

997
00:42:29,360 --> 00:42:33,040
Speaker 2: storytime separated, So think of your stereotypical Asian parents. I

998
00:42:33,080 --> 00:42:35,560
Speaker 2: was brought up to study and get good grades because

999
00:42:35,600 --> 00:42:37,359
Speaker 2: I am the son of the family and it will

1000
00:42:37,400 --> 00:42:39,640
Speaker 2: be my responsibility to take care of my parents.

1001
00:42:39,760 --> 00:42:40,080
Speaker 1: Okay.

1002
00:42:40,239 --> 00:42:42,920
Speaker 2: I have an older sister, currently thirty eight female, but

1003
00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:45,160
Speaker 2: since she was a girl, my parents were not strict

1004
00:42:45,200 --> 00:42:47,960
Speaker 2: on her at all and let her basically have whatever

1005
00:42:48,080 --> 00:42:50,600
Speaker 2: she wanted. When my parents came to America, they had

1006
00:42:50,680 --> 00:42:54,319
Speaker 2: no money or anything because they had experienced mrouge. They

1007
00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:56,640
Speaker 2: worked hard and brought up my sister and I in

1008
00:42:56,680 --> 00:42:59,440
Speaker 2: a typical lower middle class fashion, except that they had

1009
00:42:59,440 --> 00:43:03,319
Speaker 2: those stereotypical Asian expectations of me. I always expected to

1010
00:43:03,360 --> 00:43:05,239
Speaker 2: take care of my parents, since I was brought up

1011
00:43:05,280 --> 00:43:07,799
Speaker 2: to expect that. While growing up, my parents made me

1012
00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:11,040
Speaker 2: study a lot. They didn't let me do anything like

1013
00:43:11,120 --> 00:43:13,920
Speaker 2: learn how to bike, go to friends' houses, et cetera.

1014
00:43:14,080 --> 00:43:16,319
Speaker 2: I was expected to stay at home and study so

1015
00:43:16,360 --> 00:43:18,920
Speaker 2: that I could eventually get a great, high paying job

1016
00:43:19,080 --> 00:43:22,040
Speaker 2: and support my parents in their old age. The same

1017
00:43:22,160 --> 00:43:24,600
Speaker 2: was expected of my older cousins, and they have all

1018
00:43:24,600 --> 00:43:27,560
Speaker 2: become doctors or other professions in the medical fields. It

1019
00:43:27,560 --> 00:43:29,960
Speaker 2: has been drilled into me to become a doctor since

1020
00:43:30,160 --> 00:43:32,600
Speaker 2: I was When I got into a good university, I

1021
00:43:32,680 --> 00:43:36,800
Speaker 2: majored in biochemistry and continued my education toward becoming a doctor.

1022
00:43:36,840 --> 00:43:39,680
Speaker 2: But I started to doubt whether or not I really

1023
00:43:39,920 --> 00:43:42,719
Speaker 2: wanted this path. I honestly did not know what I

1024
00:43:42,800 --> 00:43:45,000
Speaker 2: enjoyed in life, and while I could see myself being

1025
00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:48,000
Speaker 2: a doctor, I could not see myself happy in the future.

1026
00:43:48,120 --> 00:43:50,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, I mean I think that, like having parental

1027
00:43:50,640 --> 00:43:54,520
Speaker 1: expectations like that must be so hard, and then also

1028
00:43:54,560 --> 00:43:56,240
Speaker 1: to realize they're like, ooh.

1029
00:43:55,880 --> 00:43:58,399
Speaker 4: I don't like this, And I've been spending like ten

1030
00:43:58,520 --> 00:44:00,759
Speaker 4: years trying to become a Doctor's now like what do

1031
00:44:00,840 --> 00:44:02,719
Speaker 4: I do? And do I even know what I even

1032
00:44:02,840 --> 00:44:04,799
Speaker 4: like because I've been spending so much time doing what

1033
00:44:04,880 --> 00:44:06,600
Speaker 4: other people want me to do that I don't even

1034
00:44:06,680 --> 00:44:07,640
Speaker 4: know what I want to do myself.

1035
00:44:07,640 --> 00:44:08,359
Speaker 1: Like that's suck.

1036
00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:11,840
Speaker 2: This slight epiphany happened during my senior year, though, so

1037
00:44:11,960 --> 00:44:14,760
Speaker 2: I was already going to graduate. During my time in college,

1038
00:44:14,840 --> 00:44:17,360
Speaker 2: I took many language classes because I found that I

1039
00:44:17,400 --> 00:44:20,239
Speaker 2: was really good at learning languages nice. Before long, I

1040
00:44:20,280 --> 00:44:23,080
Speaker 2: found that I enjoy learning new words and getting fluent

1041
00:44:23,160 --> 00:44:25,440
Speaker 2: in languages. I found a career option that would let

1042
00:44:25,440 --> 00:44:27,759
Speaker 2: me teach English in another country for as long as

1043
00:44:27,760 --> 00:44:29,839
Speaker 2: I wanted. I decided that I wanted to do this

1044
00:44:29,960 --> 00:44:32,920
Speaker 2: instead of becoming a doctor, because I found myself enjoying

1045
00:44:32,960 --> 00:44:36,320
Speaker 2: my time learning language is much more than learning medical stuff.

1046
00:44:36,360 --> 00:44:38,200
Speaker 2: I also just wanted to try this out to see

1047
00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:40,080
Speaker 2: if I liked to teach and if this was something

1048
00:44:40,080 --> 00:44:43,160
Speaker 2: that I might enjoy. Okay, when I told my parents,

1049
00:44:43,360 --> 00:44:47,120
Speaker 2: they absolutely freaked out, saying that I was throwing my

1050
00:44:47,239 --> 00:44:49,719
Speaker 2: future away and that I needed to forget about all.

1051
00:44:49,640 --> 00:44:53,160
Speaker 1: Of this just really quick. On this. The idea that

1052
00:44:53,200 --> 00:44:58,560
Speaker 1: there are three jobs doctor, lawyer, engineer that like, is

1053
00:44:58,640 --> 00:45:02,640
Speaker 1: that the only way that you can be successful as

1054
00:45:02,680 --> 00:45:05,880
Speaker 1: being in one of those jobs is very much no

1055
00:45:05,960 --> 00:45:08,160
Speaker 1: longer true. Yeah, and if you have.

1056
00:45:08,200 --> 00:45:10,440
Speaker 2: Any kind of andue back then either, yeah.

1057
00:45:11,040 --> 00:45:13,160
Speaker 1: But even more now, like at the age of the Internet,

1058
00:45:13,160 --> 00:45:15,560
Speaker 1: when you have like you can learn anything online and

1059
00:45:15,640 --> 00:45:18,040
Speaker 1: like you can make money from just going into your

1060
00:45:18,040 --> 00:45:21,359
Speaker 1: interests and sharing that interest with other people. Like I

1061
00:45:21,400 --> 00:45:24,560
Speaker 1: think it's like, I know, it's just it's It's sad

1062
00:45:24,600 --> 00:45:27,560
Speaker 1: to see that being discouraged because I think it's one

1063
00:45:27,600 --> 00:45:29,800
Speaker 1: of the things that leads to the most successes. Following

1064
00:45:29,880 --> 00:45:34,600
Speaker 1: your interest unabashedly and immediately very true.

1065
00:45:34,440 --> 00:45:37,040
Speaker 2: I responded saying that I was still graduating with a

1066
00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:40,640
Speaker 2: biochemistry degree in an honors program at a good university,

1067
00:45:40,760 --> 00:45:43,000
Speaker 2: and that if I didn't like teaching English, I could

1068
00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:46,240
Speaker 2: still apply for medical school and do other things well applying,

1069
00:45:46,280 --> 00:45:49,440
Speaker 2: they said it was ridiculous. Their reasoning was simple, money

1070
00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:50,480
Speaker 2: will make you happy.

1071
00:45:51,719 --> 00:45:52,840
Speaker 1: Not true, dude.

1072
00:45:52,920 --> 00:45:55,719
Speaker 2: I severely disagreed and said that I still had not

1073
00:45:55,880 --> 00:45:58,120
Speaker 2: found what made me happy and that I wanted to

1074
00:45:58,239 --> 00:46:00,640
Speaker 2: try things out while doing it. I was not going

1075
00:46:00,680 --> 00:46:02,640
Speaker 2: to use their money because I had my own money

1076
00:46:02,680 --> 00:46:04,600
Speaker 2: that I had saved up, which would last a fair

1077
00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:06,880
Speaker 2: amount of time, and the job that I was considering

1078
00:46:06,960 --> 00:46:09,600
Speaker 2: paid a fair amount. In response, they said that they

1079
00:46:09,640 --> 00:46:12,000
Speaker 2: would disown me if I went off track and delayed

1080
00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:14,480
Speaker 2: becoming a doctor because they did not want to work

1081
00:46:14,520 --> 00:46:17,040
Speaker 2: anymore and wanted to retire. I said that they could

1082
00:46:17,040 --> 00:46:19,400
Speaker 2: retire whenever they want, and that I could pay for

1083
00:46:19,480 --> 00:46:23,320
Speaker 2: medical school myself or take out student loans, which isn't unusual.

1084
00:46:23,560 --> 00:46:27,200
Speaker 1: Ah So What it sounds like is they don't want

1085
00:46:27,239 --> 00:46:31,560
Speaker 1: what's best for you. They just want a safe safety

1086
00:46:31,560 --> 00:46:34,640
Speaker 1: net because they want you to make a bunch of money.

1087
00:46:35,040 --> 00:46:37,840
Speaker 1: They want to be rich because they want you to

1088
00:46:37,880 --> 00:46:39,360
Speaker 1: take care of them. Yikes.

1089
00:46:39,480 --> 00:46:42,239
Speaker 2: They did not budge, and I would not budge. The

1090
00:46:42,320 --> 00:46:44,960
Speaker 2: end result was me being disowned by my parents during

1091
00:46:45,000 --> 00:46:47,400
Speaker 2: the end of my senior year at the age of

1092
00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:48,120
Speaker 2: twenty three.

1093
00:46:48,719 --> 00:46:49,080
Speaker 1: Wow.

1094
00:46:49,239 --> 00:46:51,160
Speaker 2: They said that I should not come back crying to

1095
00:46:51,200 --> 00:46:53,759
Speaker 2: them when I was poor and sad. My sister's still

1096
00:46:53,840 --> 00:46:56,560
Speaker 2: kept in contact because she knew how unreasonable they were being.

1097
00:46:56,680 --> 00:46:59,239
Speaker 2: After taking the job in another country, I found that

1098
00:46:59,320 --> 00:47:02,040
Speaker 2: I loved teaching kids and that I also loved traveling.

1099
00:47:02,320 --> 00:47:04,680
Speaker 2: While abroad, I traveled all over the place. When I

1100
00:47:04,680 --> 00:47:07,279
Speaker 2: had days off, I met a wonderful woman and married her.

1101
00:47:07,400 --> 00:47:10,040
Speaker 2: I have a three year old son. Fast forward at

1102
00:47:10,040 --> 00:47:13,560
Speaker 2: the present, I am currently a university teacher for medical school.

1103
00:47:13,800 --> 00:47:17,319
Speaker 1: So it seemed like it worked out after all, didn't it.

1104
00:47:17,440 --> 00:47:19,719
Speaker 2: I guess I couldn't shake off my past of medicine,

1105
00:47:19,719 --> 00:47:21,759
Speaker 2: and I make a very good amount of money. I

1106
00:47:21,800 --> 00:47:22,920
Speaker 2: am living comfortably.

1107
00:47:23,280 --> 00:47:26,120
Speaker 3: What freaking go o pee lovely because.

1108
00:47:25,880 --> 00:47:28,920
Speaker 2: This commines Ope's love of teaching and Ope's parents' love

1109
00:47:28,920 --> 00:47:29,760
Speaker 2: of medical school.

1110
00:47:29,840 --> 00:47:33,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, you kind of like hit the jackpot, except

1111
00:47:33,080 --> 00:47:34,880
Speaker 1: I mean maybe not on the parent toll side, the

1112
00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:36,680
Speaker 1: parental side not as much.

1113
00:47:36,800 --> 00:47:37,960
Speaker 2: But there is a problems.

1114
00:47:38,320 --> 00:47:39,399
Speaker 3: Always, there's always a problem.

1115
00:47:39,760 --> 00:47:42,840
Speaker 2: Recently, my sister has informed me that my parents wanted

1116
00:47:42,880 --> 00:47:45,080
Speaker 2: to meet. I was surprised because I haven't talked or

1117
00:47:45,160 --> 00:47:48,040
Speaker 2: seen them in seven years. I went to meet them

1118
00:47:48,080 --> 00:47:50,000
Speaker 2: after thinking about it for a bit, and I will

1119
00:47:50,040 --> 00:47:53,560
Speaker 2: admit I felt huge relief seeing them again after so long.

1120
00:47:53,600 --> 00:47:56,160
Speaker 2: There was some small talk in catching up before the

1121
00:47:56,280 --> 00:47:59,520
Speaker 2: informed me that they were hoping to reconnect. I was,

1122
00:47:59,560 --> 00:48:02,040
Speaker 2: of course opened to the idea, but then they stated

1123
00:48:02,080 --> 00:48:04,000
Speaker 2: that they were hoping that I could pay them back

1124
00:48:04,080 --> 00:48:06,080
Speaker 2: like a good son, for all they did for me,

1125
00:48:06,280 --> 00:48:07,640
Speaker 2: for dishowning you at twenty three.

1126
00:48:08,239 --> 00:48:10,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, do you want that with interest too?

1127
00:48:10,400 --> 00:48:12,160
Speaker 3: Like it's called twenty three in me?

1128
00:48:12,239 --> 00:48:15,120
Speaker 1: Okay, you kind of agreed to this when you signed

1129
00:48:15,200 --> 00:48:16,640
Speaker 1: up to have a kid by having a.

1130
00:48:16,680 --> 00:48:21,360
Speaker 2: Kid, and it's like, oh, what's the alternative? You guys

1131
00:48:21,600 --> 00:48:23,680
Speaker 2: cut me off if I don't give you the money,

1132
00:48:23,719 --> 00:48:24,680
Speaker 2: because you already did that.

1133
00:48:24,840 --> 00:48:28,040
Speaker 3: You have no power for all they did for me.

1134
00:48:28,120 --> 00:48:30,759
Speaker 2: Through childhood until I finished college. They were hoping that

1135
00:48:30,800 --> 00:48:32,600
Speaker 2: I could still take care of them by making the

1136
00:48:32,680 --> 00:48:35,240
Speaker 2: last years of their life easier in a better house

1137
00:48:35,360 --> 00:48:37,399
Speaker 2: with people to help them out with things in their

1138
00:48:37,400 --> 00:48:39,560
Speaker 2: old age. I wasn't quite sure what to make of

1139
00:48:39,600 --> 00:48:42,759
Speaker 2: this request. I told them to let me think on it,

1140
00:48:42,880 --> 00:48:45,040
Speaker 2: and they were fine with that after getting home and

1141
00:48:45,080 --> 00:48:47,920
Speaker 2: thinking on it a bit. They're basically asking me to

1142
00:48:48,080 --> 00:48:50,680
Speaker 2: buy them a house with caretakers to take care of

1143
00:48:50,719 --> 00:48:53,600
Speaker 2: them in their old age. It sounds ridiculous, but at

1144
00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:56,600
Speaker 2: the same time, I still do love, respect, and feel

1145
00:48:56,600 --> 00:48:58,799
Speaker 2: indebted to my parents for all that they did for

1146
00:48:58,840 --> 00:49:02,160
Speaker 2: me in the past, despite disowning me again. Parents are

1147
00:49:02,239 --> 00:49:04,879
Speaker 2: supposed to do that. They are supposed to take care

1148
00:49:04,920 --> 00:49:07,279
Speaker 2: of you because they are your They signed up for this.

1149
00:49:07,600 --> 00:49:10,120
Speaker 2: You did not. I am not sure why it's like this,

1150
00:49:10,320 --> 00:49:11,880
Speaker 2: but it may be because I was brought up with

1151
00:49:11,920 --> 00:49:14,080
Speaker 2: the expectation to take care of them. I can afford

1152
00:49:14,120 --> 00:49:17,040
Speaker 2: the request as well without hurting my family financially at all.

1153
00:49:17,320 --> 00:49:19,520
Speaker 2: I just don't know if I should. My wife said

1154
00:49:19,560 --> 00:49:21,400
Speaker 2: that while she would rather me not, it is my

1155
00:49:21,520 --> 00:49:23,960
Speaker 2: choice because she has never known my parents, and that

1156
00:49:24,040 --> 00:49:26,160
Speaker 2: she will support me I just don't know what I

1157
00:49:26,200 --> 00:49:29,520
Speaker 2: should do, and there is an update. I mean, this

1158
00:49:29,640 --> 00:49:32,680
Speaker 2: is up to you, but just know that they are

1159
00:49:32,719 --> 00:49:36,279
Speaker 2: always going to place money above you. They just care

1160
00:49:36,320 --> 00:49:36,799
Speaker 2: about you.

1161
00:49:36,920 --> 00:49:38,800
Speaker 1: They don't care about you. They care about the safety

1162
00:49:38,840 --> 00:49:40,799
Speaker 1: that you could provide them. Yes, and then maybe they

1163
00:49:40,800 --> 00:49:42,960
Speaker 1: care about some cultural expectations of what you should be.

1164
00:49:43,200 --> 00:49:45,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, but they don't. They don't care about you. They've

1165
00:49:45,560 --> 00:49:47,360
Speaker 2: shown that to you because they didn't talk to you

1166
00:49:47,440 --> 00:49:50,239
Speaker 2: for seven years. For seven years because you wouldn't go

1167
00:49:50,239 --> 00:49:52,360
Speaker 2: to medical school. All right, No, you went to medical

1168
00:49:52,400 --> 00:49:56,000
Speaker 2: school because you wouldn't become a doctor. Yeah, you don't

1169
00:49:56,040 --> 00:49:58,680
Speaker 2: owe them anything, but there is an update. First off,

1170
00:49:58,719 --> 00:50:01,480
Speaker 2: I'd like to thank everyone that posted to my previous post.

1171
00:50:01,600 --> 00:50:03,759
Speaker 2: It was very helpful and allowed me to see things

1172
00:50:03,760 --> 00:50:06,120
Speaker 2: from many perspectives. I tried to answer as many as

1173
00:50:06,120 --> 00:50:08,239
Speaker 2: I could and read all of them. After posting and

1174
00:50:08,320 --> 00:50:10,880
Speaker 2: reading all the responses, I took a day to digest

1175
00:50:10,920 --> 00:50:13,720
Speaker 2: all the information and think clearly about what I wanted.

1176
00:50:13,840 --> 00:50:15,960
Speaker 2: I then called my wife up and we discussed for

1177
00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:18,280
Speaker 2: a while about what I want to do, what I will,

1178
00:50:18,400 --> 00:50:21,200
Speaker 2: Sash won't regret doing, and our family. In the end,

1179
00:50:21,239 --> 00:50:24,480
Speaker 2: I decided that I would help my estranged parents. Many

1180
00:50:24,600 --> 00:50:27,399
Speaker 2: of you were against this, but from my perspective, they

1181
00:50:27,400 --> 00:50:30,360
Speaker 2: were still my parents. It may be because of my upbringing,

1182
00:50:30,440 --> 00:50:32,640
Speaker 2: but I still wanted to help them in their old age.

1183
00:50:32,680 --> 00:50:34,880
Speaker 2: And I'm not much of a vindictive person when it

1184
00:50:34,880 --> 00:50:37,280
Speaker 2: comes to wrongs done to me, only when it's wrongs

1185
00:50:37,320 --> 00:50:39,520
Speaker 2: done to people I love. In order to move on

1186
00:50:39,560 --> 00:50:41,520
Speaker 2: with my life, I let most of my hate in

1187
00:50:41,560 --> 00:50:44,040
Speaker 2: the past, and I had for the most part, forgotten

1188
00:50:44,040 --> 00:50:46,680
Speaker 2: about my parents until they contacted me again. Even though

1189
00:50:46,680 --> 00:50:48,799
Speaker 2: I decided to help them, I wasn't going to do

1190
00:50:48,840 --> 00:50:51,560
Speaker 2: what they asked for. I planned on asking them there

1191
00:50:51,560 --> 00:50:53,920
Speaker 2: are reasons for getting back into contact with me if

1192
00:50:53,960 --> 00:50:56,319
Speaker 2: they regret what they said, et cetera. I know that

1193
00:50:56,360 --> 00:50:58,560
Speaker 2: they are after some money from me, but personally, I

1194
00:50:58,560 --> 00:51:00,319
Speaker 2: think it's fine to share a bit of mine with

1195
00:51:00,360 --> 00:51:03,320
Speaker 2: my parents who did raise me for twenty three years.

1196
00:51:03,640 --> 00:51:05,799
Speaker 2: Once I finished talking to my wife, I called up

1197
00:51:05,800 --> 00:51:07,960
Speaker 2: my sister and asked if she would share some info

1198
00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:10,759
Speaker 2: with me about my parents' financial situation and such. It

1199
00:51:10,840 --> 00:51:13,160
Speaker 2: turns out that what my parents had saved during my

1200
00:51:13,280 --> 00:51:16,719
Speaker 2: childhood and time in college, they ended up gambling a

1201
00:51:16,760 --> 00:51:17,880
Speaker 2: fair amount.

1202
00:51:17,520 --> 00:51:19,080
Speaker 3: Away they gambled it.

1203
00:51:19,360 --> 00:51:22,160
Speaker 2: Oh it's a bit ironic, as they are car dealers

1204
00:51:22,160 --> 00:51:24,480
Speaker 2: in a big name casino and see people gamble away

1205
00:51:24,560 --> 00:51:27,920
Speaker 2: their money basically every day. According to my sister, disowning

1206
00:51:27,960 --> 00:51:30,000
Speaker 2: me did have an effect on my parents and they

1207
00:51:30,040 --> 00:51:34,000
Speaker 2: retreated into gambling. They recently stopped gambling, but the damage

1208
00:51:34,160 --> 00:51:36,680
Speaker 2: was already done. My sisters helped them out some, but

1209
00:51:36,760 --> 00:51:40,360
Speaker 2: my parents never directly asked her for assistance. I instead

1210
00:51:40,480 --> 00:51:42,359
Speaker 2: asked my sister if she would be willing to help

1211
00:51:42,400 --> 00:51:45,160
Speaker 2: me and helping my parents. She agreed, and now the

1212
00:51:45,160 --> 00:51:47,640
Speaker 2: only thing left was to meet my parents.

1213
00:51:47,840 --> 00:51:48,200
Speaker 3: Mmm.

1214
00:51:48,719 --> 00:51:48,839
Speaker 1: No.

1215
00:51:48,920 --> 00:51:50,839
Speaker 2: I called up my dad and asked to meet them

1216
00:51:50,880 --> 00:51:53,000
Speaker 2: and my mom again. When we met, I asked them

1217
00:51:53,120 --> 00:51:55,840
Speaker 2: straight out why they wanted to meet with me again

1218
00:51:55,960 --> 00:51:58,160
Speaker 2: and reconcile with me. After a bit of my mom

1219
00:51:58,320 --> 00:52:01,640
Speaker 2: flailing around for response, my dad told me straight up

1220
00:52:01,680 --> 00:52:04,520
Speaker 2: that the main reason was money. Wow, they were getting

1221
00:52:04,520 --> 00:52:07,440
Speaker 2: old that made a stupid mistake, ended up in this situation,

1222
00:52:07,560 --> 00:52:09,880
Speaker 2: and were hoping for some help for me despite what

1223
00:52:09,920 --> 00:52:10,319
Speaker 2: they'd done.

1224
00:52:10,520 --> 00:52:13,400
Speaker 1: I mean, like, if you do at them, ensure that

1225
00:52:13,480 --> 00:52:16,759
Speaker 1: you don't give them any money to spend themselves, because like,

1226
00:52:16,800 --> 00:52:17,280
Speaker 1: make sure.

1227
00:52:17,120 --> 00:52:20,120
Speaker 2: That you're someone else control. He said that they were

1228
00:52:20,160 --> 00:52:22,200
Speaker 2: sorry for what happened and that while it was one

1229
00:52:22,239 --> 00:52:24,480
Speaker 2: of the hardest things he had to do, he decided

1230
00:52:24,520 --> 00:52:26,239
Speaker 2: to come to me for money because he did not

1231
00:52:26,360 --> 00:52:28,759
Speaker 2: want my mom to live her last years horribly. He

1232
00:52:28,800 --> 00:52:30,719
Speaker 2: did not go to my sister because he felt it

1233
00:52:30,760 --> 00:52:32,960
Speaker 2: was more shameful to ask her for money than it

1234
00:52:33,080 --> 00:52:34,759
Speaker 2: was to come back to me. As I was the

1235
00:52:34,880 --> 00:52:37,799
Speaker 2: sun slash a man. It did sting a bit here

1236
00:52:37,880 --> 00:52:40,400
Speaker 2: directly that he was only after money, but at the

1237
00:52:40,440 --> 00:52:42,799
Speaker 2: same time, I'm relieved that he didn't beat around the

1238
00:52:42,800 --> 00:52:44,799
Speaker 2: bush and lie to me. I asked him if you

1239
00:52:44,840 --> 00:52:46,840
Speaker 2: regret what he did to me and whether he was

1240
00:52:46,880 --> 00:52:50,440
Speaker 2: willing to apologize. He replied that he does regret disowning me,

1241
00:52:50,520 --> 00:52:51,880
Speaker 2: and that I was in the heat of the moment

1242
00:52:52,000 --> 00:52:54,560
Speaker 2: and his pride as my dad made it hard to

1243
00:52:54,560 --> 00:52:58,240
Speaker 2: go back on his decision despite it being stupid. He apologized,

1244
00:52:58,280 --> 00:53:00,279
Speaker 2: but said that he still did not think that his

1245
00:53:00,360 --> 00:53:02,520
Speaker 2: line of thought was wrong. He said that more than

1246
00:53:02,640 --> 00:53:04,600
Speaker 2: likely I would have ended up in debt and in

1247
00:53:04,640 --> 00:53:07,000
Speaker 2: a bad situation, but I worked hard to get where

1248
00:53:07,040 --> 00:53:09,200
Speaker 2: I am, and that he is glad that everything worked

1249
00:53:09,239 --> 00:53:11,880
Speaker 2: out At this point, things were getting a bit emotional,

1250
00:53:11,920 --> 00:53:14,120
Speaker 2: so I steered the conversation toward the money. I informed

1251
00:53:14,120 --> 00:53:16,280
Speaker 2: them that I would not be buying them a house,

1252
00:53:16,400 --> 00:53:18,800
Speaker 2: but would be willing to make their current house more comfortable,

1253
00:53:18,840 --> 00:53:20,960
Speaker 2: help with some bills, and maybe in the future, when

1254
00:53:20,960 --> 00:53:23,920
Speaker 2: they really lost their independence, I would hire a caretaker

1255
00:53:23,920 --> 00:53:24,879
Speaker 2: for them with the house.

1256
00:53:24,880 --> 00:53:29,319
Speaker 1: I mean, like, I feel like, that's that.

1257
00:53:29,360 --> 00:53:33,160
Speaker 2: Is more than any people who like literally disowned you.

1258
00:53:33,239 --> 00:53:36,400
Speaker 2: That is, that is much more than they deserve. Yeah.

1259
00:53:37,160 --> 00:53:39,320
Speaker 2: I asked them why they wanted another house, and my

1260
00:53:39,440 --> 00:53:41,239
Speaker 2: dad said that while it wasn't too much of a

1261
00:53:41,280 --> 00:53:43,919
Speaker 2: problem yet, he was afraid that him or my mom

1262
00:53:43,960 --> 00:53:46,480
Speaker 2: would fall into a ternal sleep from the stairs and

1263
00:53:46,600 --> 00:53:49,719
Speaker 2: wanted a one story house instead. I suggested that they

1264
00:53:49,800 --> 00:53:52,319
Speaker 2: moved from the master bedroom to the room downstairs that

1265
00:53:52,360 --> 00:53:54,520
Speaker 2: they were using it as a computer room instead. I

1266
00:53:54,520 --> 00:53:56,640
Speaker 2: would help them move. They agreed that it was a

1267
00:53:56,680 --> 00:53:59,160
Speaker 2: good idea. My dad informed me that he still wanted

1268
00:53:59,160 --> 00:54:01,000
Speaker 2: to work and build up up what he could after

1269
00:54:01,040 --> 00:54:03,160
Speaker 2: breaking out of the habit of gambling. I told them

1270
00:54:03,160 --> 00:54:05,680
Speaker 2: that I would be taking charge of his finances and

1271
00:54:05,719 --> 00:54:08,359
Speaker 2: regulating what they spent on what, and he agreed it

1272
00:54:08,400 --> 00:54:10,759
Speaker 2: was fine. Once the money talk was over and done with,

1273
00:54:10,960 --> 00:54:13,600
Speaker 2: we talked a bit more and my mom again suggested

1274
00:54:13,640 --> 00:54:16,640
Speaker 2: that she was interested in my family, including my wife.

1275
00:54:17,080 --> 00:54:19,000
Speaker 2: I told them that I may allow them to meet

1276
00:54:19,000 --> 00:54:20,920
Speaker 2: my family in the future, but for now they were

1277
00:54:20,960 --> 00:54:24,000
Speaker 2: still basically strangers to my family and I again, and

1278
00:54:24,040 --> 00:54:26,400
Speaker 2: we had to work on the relationship before I allowed

1279
00:54:26,440 --> 00:54:29,719
Speaker 2: them to enter my current family, which very fair. Very fair.

1280
00:54:29,880 --> 00:54:31,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I think they should be on pretty

1281
00:54:31,960 --> 00:54:32,319
Speaker 1: thin ice.

1282
00:54:32,480 --> 00:54:34,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, you guys are on probation first.

1283
00:54:34,320 --> 00:54:38,440
Speaker 1: Sea again, iPhone lockscreen method, you know, help them a

1284
00:54:38,480 --> 00:54:41,080
Speaker 1: little bit, give them a time out for a month

1285
00:54:41,160 --> 00:54:42,760
Speaker 1: if they act the same two months.

1286
00:54:43,360 --> 00:54:46,800
Speaker 2: We left on amicable terms. Afterward, I called my sister

1287
00:54:46,840 --> 00:54:49,200
Speaker 2: and told her what transpired and that I expected to

1288
00:54:49,239 --> 00:54:51,839
Speaker 2: go half and half on helping the parents. She said

1289
00:54:51,840 --> 00:54:54,080
Speaker 2: it was fine to go sixty forty instead, with her

1290
00:54:54,080 --> 00:54:56,719
Speaker 2: paying the sixty because she felt a bit responsible that

1291
00:54:56,760 --> 00:54:58,759
Speaker 2: she wasn't there for my parents to try to break

1292
00:54:58,760 --> 00:55:01,360
Speaker 2: them out of their gambling because she was really busy.

1293
00:55:01,440 --> 00:55:03,760
Speaker 2: She was going to visit my parents on Thanksgiving anyway,

1294
00:55:03,880 --> 00:55:06,319
Speaker 2: so I decided that she should bring her husband and

1295
00:55:06,360 --> 00:55:08,759
Speaker 2: the time after Thanksgiving would be when we moved the

1296
00:55:08,760 --> 00:55:11,520
Speaker 2: house around for my parents. I will be spending Thanksgiving

1297
00:55:11,560 --> 00:55:14,040
Speaker 2: with my family, but will go down to my parents'

1298
00:55:14,080 --> 00:55:17,200
Speaker 2: house afterward to help move things around. And by the way,

1299
00:55:17,600 --> 00:55:20,360
Speaker 2: you can help us by listening to more full episodes

1300
00:55:20,400 --> 00:55:22,680
Speaker 2: with stories just like this. Just go to Apple Podcasts,

1301
00:55:22,680 --> 00:55:25,200
Speaker 2: Spotify or your favorite podcast app. I'd set a.

1302
00:55:25,480 --> 00:55:29,000
Speaker 1: Storyta and listen to us for forty seven straight days.

1303
00:55:29,120 --> 00:55:31,120
Speaker 2: Forty seven straight days.

1304
00:55:30,920 --> 00:55:32,799
Speaker 1: Not twenty four hour days.

1305
00:55:32,800 --> 00:55:35,200
Speaker 3: You can do that, accounting. It's still it's growing, it's

1306
00:55:35,200 --> 00:55:37,319
Speaker 3: growing every day, and so you might as well. You

1307
00:55:37,440 --> 00:55:38,520
Speaker 3: might as well.

1308
00:55:38,239 --> 00:55:40,680
Speaker 2: Get at it. Okay, but there is a little bit

1309
00:55:40,800 --> 00:55:43,720
Speaker 2: left to this story. When everything was settled, I spoke

1310
00:55:43,760 --> 00:55:45,960
Speaker 2: to my wife again and she agreed with what was

1311
00:55:46,000 --> 00:55:48,319
Speaker 2: decided and said that she was actually glad that it

1312
00:55:48,440 --> 00:55:50,880
Speaker 2: ended up how it did. The reason she was hesitant

1313
00:55:50,920 --> 00:55:53,680
Speaker 2: to say no firmly for was because she thought I

1314
00:55:53,760 --> 00:55:56,400
Speaker 2: might regret it because of my personality. She is glad

1315
00:55:56,400 --> 00:55:58,080
Speaker 2: that I'm not spending a huge amount of money on

1316
00:55:58,120 --> 00:56:00,440
Speaker 2: my parents. However, she's looking forward to the day that

1317
00:56:00,480 --> 00:56:03,000
Speaker 2: you finally meets my parents when I decide it is

1318
00:56:03,040 --> 00:56:04,759
Speaker 2: a good time. I hope that my son is able

1319
00:56:04,800 --> 00:56:07,000
Speaker 2: to develop a good relationship with my parents as he

1320
00:56:07,080 --> 00:56:10,479
Speaker 2: does with my wife's parents. All in all, it ended well,

1321
00:56:10,840 --> 00:56:13,759
Speaker 2: no revenge, no hate, just helping each other out.

1322
00:56:13,880 --> 00:56:17,360
Speaker 1: I feel like Op is pretty well adjusted for having

1323
00:56:17,680 --> 00:56:18,520
Speaker 1: terrible parents.

1324
00:56:18,840 --> 00:56:20,800
Speaker 2: More sentence, We'll see what the future holds for the

1325
00:56:20,840 --> 00:56:22,839
Speaker 2: relationship between my parents and I. Okay, now you talk.

1326
00:56:24,080 --> 00:56:28,120
Speaker 1: I feel like well adjusted for for having those terrible parents.

1327
00:56:28,160 --> 00:56:29,600
Speaker 1: You know, like it's uh.

1328
00:56:29,360 --> 00:56:29,960
Speaker 2: Because it doesn't.

1329
00:56:30,000 --> 00:56:31,520
Speaker 1: It's came out so good.

1330
00:56:31,680 --> 00:56:34,879
Speaker 2: I would say, like Op's not going on the one

1331
00:56:35,000 --> 00:56:38,480
Speaker 2: side of kind of being like no f you guys,

1332
00:56:38,680 --> 00:56:40,479
Speaker 2: I never want to see you again, but it's also

1333
00:56:40,560 --> 00:56:42,759
Speaker 2: not going like I'll do whatever you guys want. Yeah,

1334
00:56:42,800 --> 00:56:45,560
Speaker 2: Like has somehow like met in that middle of being like, okay,

1335
00:56:45,600 --> 00:56:47,240
Speaker 2: you know what, I'll help you out, which I feel

1336
00:56:47,239 --> 00:56:47,720
Speaker 2: like boundary.

1337
00:56:47,800 --> 00:56:51,000
Speaker 1: It shows a massive side of maturity exactly exactly.

1338
00:56:52,280 --> 00:56:53,399
Speaker 3: Hey, it's John, your og host.

1339
00:56:53,400 --> 00:56:53,520
Speaker 1: Here.

1340
00:56:53,520 --> 00:56:54,839
Speaker 3: We're going to get back to the stories. But here's

1341
00:56:54,840 --> 00:56:56,840
Speaker 3: a quick three minute break of ads from our sponsors.

1342
00:56:57,320 --> 00:57:00,600
Speaker 1: My sister's wedding is stressful, and I set them for

1343
00:57:00,719 --> 00:57:05,839
Speaker 1: it a we in doubt. Just my sister Anne is

1344
00:57:05,880 --> 00:57:08,439
Speaker 1: twenty nine years old. We are three years apart. I'm

1345
00:57:08,520 --> 00:57:10,560
Speaker 1: twenty six. She got engaged in the fall of twenty

1346
00:57:10,600 --> 00:57:13,160
Speaker 1: twenty two to a very sweet man thirty two years old.

1347
00:57:13,239 --> 00:57:15,160
Speaker 1: A good man, a good man, lots of page. Is

1348
00:57:15,200 --> 00:57:17,520
Speaker 1: a good man. He's a solid man, a good chap,

1349
00:57:17,560 --> 00:57:20,080
Speaker 1: they might say. And we'll call him George by Gorge

1350
00:57:21,440 --> 00:57:24,680
Speaker 1: by the way. This comes from Adwin Indigo And if

1351
00:57:24,720 --> 00:57:26,640
Speaker 1: you want to submit your own stories, go to our

1352
00:57:26,760 --> 00:57:31,320
Speaker 1: slash Okay story time subout it so family dynamic and circumstances.

1353
00:57:31,480 --> 00:57:36,160
Speaker 1: We're getting some backstory. And came back to live with

1354
00:57:36,240 --> 00:57:39,440
Speaker 1: our parents last fall after college. We live in Tennessee.

1355
00:57:39,600 --> 00:57:41,680
Speaker 1: We are a family of eight, so it.

1356
00:57:41,640 --> 00:57:42,880
Speaker 3: Can be a bit crowded.

1357
00:57:43,040 --> 00:57:43,800
Speaker 2: It's a big family.

1358
00:57:43,840 --> 00:57:46,400
Speaker 1: Well that is that is actually a big family. I

1359
00:57:46,440 --> 00:57:50,520
Speaker 1: had also recently graduated and moved back with my junk wol.

1360
00:57:50,680 --> 00:57:52,360
Speaker 1: I felt this was my cue to move out and

1361
00:57:52,440 --> 00:57:55,040
Speaker 1: help my family, have some space all my stuff and

1362
00:57:55,080 --> 00:57:57,280
Speaker 1: move to my own apartment about twenty to thirty minutes

1363
00:57:57,280 --> 00:58:01,080
Speaker 1: away from my parents. Her fiance goal George, went back

1364
00:58:01,200 --> 00:58:04,120
Speaker 1: to New Jersey to find a place for them to

1365
00:58:04,160 --> 00:58:08,480
Speaker 1: live after they're married. They're staying pure up till their

1366
00:58:08,520 --> 00:58:14,760
Speaker 1: wedding night. Alrighty, they're gonna bust so quick then, Yeah,

1367
00:58:14,960 --> 00:58:18,800
Speaker 1: it's gonna be so good. That's funny. It's January twenty

1368
00:58:18,800 --> 00:58:21,200
Speaker 1: twenty three and they haven't picked a date yet. They're

1369
00:58:21,480 --> 00:58:25,480
Speaker 1: super triceratopsy for each other, so they have to get

1370
00:58:25,520 --> 00:58:28,640
Speaker 1: married asap because they can't. They're trying to jump each

1371
00:58:28,640 --> 00:58:31,840
Speaker 1: other's bones right now while Gorge is in New Jersey

1372
00:58:32,000 --> 00:58:33,960
Speaker 1: and misses him something awful.

1373
00:58:34,080 --> 00:58:38,080
Speaker 2: Wow, Gorgeous in New Jersey and misses him something awful.

1374
00:58:38,360 --> 00:58:42,240
Speaker 1: It's been a fortnight since I've seen you last, my dear.

1375
00:58:42,040 --> 00:58:44,360
Speaker 2: God, jump each other's bones.

1376
00:58:44,160 --> 00:58:47,680
Speaker 1: Anyway, she can't even think straight. She gets an interview

1377
00:58:47,680 --> 00:58:49,680
Speaker 1: for a job in New Jersey and gets accepted for it,

1378
00:58:49,720 --> 00:58:52,280
Speaker 1: so she does wind up moving over there. Yes, they're

1379
00:58:52,360 --> 00:58:58,440
Speaker 1: still living separately. What that's cool? Wedding stuff. It rolls

1380
00:58:58,480 --> 00:59:02,600
Speaker 1: around to February and they keep changing their minds about

1381
00:59:02,640 --> 00:59:06,200
Speaker 1: the date. Finally they pick the last weekend in May.

1382
00:59:06,360 --> 00:59:08,880
Speaker 2: The last weekend in May, since Anne.

1383
00:59:09,480 --> 00:59:12,880
Speaker 1: It's arranged, since Anne has moved to New Jersey. That

1384
00:59:12,960 --> 00:59:16,280
Speaker 1: leaves our mother to do all the wedding planning and organizing.

1385
00:59:16,360 --> 00:59:18,600
Speaker 1: Our mother isn't being super controlling about it. Anne has

1386
00:59:18,600 --> 00:59:20,360
Speaker 1: a little bit of a learning disability on top of

1387
00:59:20,440 --> 00:59:23,919
Speaker 1: having difficulty reading, she easily gets overwhelmed by stuff. There's

1388
00:59:24,000 --> 00:59:27,280
Speaker 1: no way Anne can play a wedding by herself, little

1389
00:59:27,280 --> 00:59:30,640
Speaker 1: old and that just gids. She gets swept away by

1390
00:59:30,640 --> 00:59:35,160
Speaker 1: any gorge that walks her away. I'm just a little lady.

1391
00:59:35,920 --> 00:59:36,880
Speaker 2: She's hysterical.

1392
00:59:38,440 --> 00:59:40,400
Speaker 1: Take it to the doctor. I heard they have new

1393
00:59:40,440 --> 00:59:41,600
Speaker 1: tripment for stuff like that.

1394
00:59:42,320 --> 00:59:45,520
Speaker 2: Locked in a room until the yellow wallpaper.

1395
00:59:45,040 --> 00:59:47,920
Speaker 1: Starts moving, and Mom is happy to help. Because Anne

1396
00:59:47,920 --> 00:59:51,640
Speaker 1: and Gorge picked out so late. It's a holiday weekend,

1397
00:59:51,840 --> 00:59:55,320
Speaker 1: there are no venues open, you idiots. They decided to

1398
00:59:55,360 --> 00:59:58,400
Speaker 1: have the service and reception at her old home church.

1399
01:00:00,080 --> 01:00:02,480
Speaker 1: All the footwork to check all the venues and find

1400
01:00:02,520 --> 01:00:05,760
Speaker 1: out they wear bucks and help for none of this

1401
01:00:05,960 --> 01:00:10,200
Speaker 1: except to give approval well, and is historically hysterical.

1402
01:00:09,680 --> 01:00:11,360
Speaker 2: So it's called delegation.

1403
01:00:11,440 --> 01:00:14,440
Speaker 1: It's called delegation. Maybe she's the business woman in a

1404
01:00:14,520 --> 01:00:15,640
Speaker 1: budding business.

1405
01:00:15,680 --> 01:00:17,520
Speaker 2: Time to do the minusha.

1406
01:00:17,840 --> 01:00:21,680
Speaker 1: No, she's only had time to write the gorgeous muddy letters.

1407
01:00:22,080 --> 01:00:24,040
Speaker 1: In the months leading up to the wedding, our mother

1408
01:00:24,080 --> 01:00:27,240
Speaker 1: spent most of her time searching for and buying decorations.

1409
01:00:27,280 --> 01:00:30,480
Speaker 1: The church does not have wedding decorations, anything that goes

1410
01:00:30,520 --> 01:00:33,800
Speaker 1: into planning a wedding. Our mother did. Mom designed and

1411
01:00:33,880 --> 01:00:37,640
Speaker 1: printed the invitations. Oh Taylor, the wedding dress. Ha, and

1412
01:00:37,760 --> 01:00:41,160
Speaker 1: is making sleeves, please, sleeves.

1413
01:00:40,760 --> 01:00:41,680
Speaker 3: On a wedding dress.

1414
01:00:41,800 --> 01:00:46,000
Speaker 1: Oh lord, Oh my goodness, it's gonna take forever. That's

1415
01:00:46,000 --> 01:00:49,680
Speaker 1: the sewing machine. She's gonna have to do it. Oh

1416
01:00:49,800 --> 01:00:50,160
Speaker 1: my god.

1417
01:00:50,240 --> 01:00:54,280
Speaker 2: She must be got to May. I don't know what

1418
01:00:54,360 --> 01:00:56,120
Speaker 2: month it is, but that's awfully soon.

1419
01:00:56,640 --> 01:01:00,760
Speaker 1: Awfully so. She has to make dinner every single I

1420
01:01:00,760 --> 01:01:03,560
Speaker 1: don't know how she's gonna do it. Both parents are

1421
01:01:03,600 --> 01:01:06,760
Speaker 1: making all the food for the reception, and I'll be

1422
01:01:06,880 --> 01:01:10,200
Speaker 1: helping her make icing flowers and making the grooms cake.

1423
01:01:10,240 --> 01:01:12,080
Speaker 2: It sounds like it's gonna be his own cake.

1424
01:01:12,200 --> 01:01:15,240
Speaker 1: I'll be helping her make icing flowers and making the

1425
01:01:15,360 --> 01:01:18,480
Speaker 1: grooms cake. I also spray painted some of the wedding

1426
01:01:18,560 --> 01:01:20,840
Speaker 1: decorations and in the church.

1427
01:01:23,120 --> 01:01:24,480
Speaker 2: Let's see what this looks like.

1428
01:01:24,560 --> 01:01:33,640
Speaker 1: That's a little I can't imagine that lyrics good. I declare,

1429
01:01:34,440 --> 01:01:39,200
Speaker 1: you're gonna make me hysterical. Pass from the vapors like

1430
01:01:39,200 --> 01:01:43,720
Speaker 1: a hot Georgia day sitting rocket iatient.

1431
01:01:44,000 --> 01:01:45,439
Speaker 2: It's pretty easy to pass out in church.

1432
01:01:45,760 --> 01:01:46,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, you should.

1433
01:01:46,520 --> 01:01:48,040
Speaker 3: There's a lot of circulation in the church, and you're

1434
01:01:48,040 --> 01:01:50,440
Speaker 3: also wearing really nice clothes and with.

1435
01:01:50,640 --> 01:01:52,920
Speaker 2: Sleeve and you're seeing a lot, and you're standing a lot,

1436
01:01:52,920 --> 01:01:55,360
Speaker 2: and you're doing up and down and down. Easy to

1437
01:01:55,360 --> 01:01:56,080
Speaker 2: pass out in church.

1438
01:01:56,200 --> 01:01:58,680
Speaker 1: I also spray painted of the wedding decorations and took

1439
01:01:58,800 --> 01:02:03,160
Speaker 1: care of others. I also volunteered to do Anne's hair

1440
01:02:03,360 --> 01:02:05,160
Speaker 1: and make up for her. One of our brothers is

1441
01:02:05,200 --> 01:02:08,000
Speaker 1: doing the photography for free, and no, none of us

1442
01:02:08,200 --> 01:02:10,400
Speaker 1: do these things professionally except her brother, who is a

1443
01:02:10,440 --> 01:02:14,080
Speaker 1: professional photographer. Nice. The day she flew down, our whole

1444
01:02:14,080 --> 01:02:17,240
Speaker 1: family was at church, sweeping, mopping, cleaning out the fridge,

1445
01:02:17,280 --> 01:02:20,160
Speaker 1: is taking care of the draping on the walls, putting

1446
01:02:20,280 --> 01:02:23,080
Speaker 1: out tables, et cetera. This is a family affair. Yeah,

1447
01:02:23,160 --> 01:02:24,960
Speaker 1: this is kind of uniting the whole family.

1448
01:02:25,120 --> 01:02:27,440
Speaker 2: I don't know if I would want like a close

1449
01:02:27,760 --> 01:02:32,040
Speaker 2: like an immediate family member to do like photography or

1450
01:02:32,080 --> 01:02:33,720
Speaker 2: something like that, because I would want them to enjoy

1451
01:02:33,720 --> 01:02:35,760
Speaker 2: the day. I feel like that's like that's a bit

1452
01:02:35,840 --> 01:02:36,720
Speaker 2: pretty big.

1453
01:02:36,920 --> 01:02:40,440
Speaker 1: Or you make sure they're always watching the important moments,

1454
01:02:40,680 --> 01:02:43,760
Speaker 1: you know. Anyway, she was supposed to help with some

1455
01:02:43,840 --> 01:02:45,800
Speaker 1: of that, but I don't think she's been planning to.

1456
01:02:46,120 --> 01:02:48,720
Speaker 1: Now that Anne's here, she's been staying in my apartment

1457
01:02:48,760 --> 01:02:51,040
Speaker 1: because her little sister is sick and we don't want

1458
01:02:51,080 --> 01:02:54,200
Speaker 1: to risk the bride catching something before her big day.

1459
01:02:54,880 --> 01:02:57,840
Speaker 1: Couldn't possibly. I don't really mind, because this is a

1460
01:02:57,880 --> 01:02:59,960
Speaker 1: big deal. It gives us a chance to catch up too.

1461
01:03:00,160 --> 01:03:02,600
Speaker 1: Then she keeps asking me to do a bunch of

1462
01:03:02,680 --> 01:03:05,240
Speaker 1: little things for her, Like she'll lay down and then

1463
01:03:05,320 --> 01:03:07,200
Speaker 1: want me to get a glass of water, a snack,

1464
01:03:07,280 --> 01:03:11,200
Speaker 1: et cetera, and make her coffee and breakfast. She leaves lights.

1465
01:03:11,760 --> 01:03:14,600
Speaker 1: It takes two to three long showers a day. Okay,

1466
01:03:14,600 --> 01:03:16,280
Speaker 1: so she's like, two to three.

1467
01:03:16,120 --> 01:03:18,040
Speaker 2: Long showers a day. What's she doing.

1468
01:03:18,280 --> 01:03:19,600
Speaker 3: She's she's cleaning.

1469
01:03:19,760 --> 01:03:23,560
Speaker 1: She's cleaning, she's leasing some stress. Two to three long

1470
01:03:23,640 --> 01:03:27,680
Speaker 1: showers a day, and she hasn't been able to jump

1471
01:03:27,720 --> 01:03:28,520
Speaker 1: the bones.

1472
01:03:28,160 --> 01:03:30,360
Speaker 3: About saying that's what I'm saying.

1473
01:03:30,760 --> 01:03:33,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, what we're saying. That's what we're saying. We're all

1474
01:03:33,200 --> 01:03:36,400
Speaker 1: saying the same thing. We're high minded it. She pays

1475
01:03:36,480 --> 01:03:39,320
Speaker 1: no mind to the little rules I have, example, drying

1476
01:03:39,360 --> 01:03:42,640
Speaker 1: her hands on my face, towel ruining my bar of

1477
01:03:42,680 --> 01:03:47,160
Speaker 1: soap or walking around the apartments, totally in the way

1478
01:03:47,320 --> 01:03:50,560
Speaker 1: God has presented her at birth when I have a

1479
01:03:50,600 --> 01:03:53,280
Speaker 1: window open, getting mad at me, even though I told

1480
01:03:53,280 --> 01:03:56,040
Speaker 1: her that I open a window, what the day, AND's

1481
01:03:56,080 --> 01:03:59,479
Speaker 1: freaking out. She's turned into that Bridezilla, into her final form,

1482
01:03:59,600 --> 01:04:01,920
Speaker 1: saying she too nervous to wear makeup and she doesn't

1483
01:04:01,960 --> 01:04:04,920
Speaker 1: want to wear any makeup at all except for some lipsticks.

1484
01:04:05,160 --> 01:04:08,280
Speaker 1: That's your own prerogative. I calmly tell her that it's fine,

1485
01:04:08,360 --> 01:04:10,600
Speaker 1: but let's try out just for fun one night. If

1486
01:04:10,600 --> 01:04:12,520
Speaker 1: you don't like it, it's no skin off my nose.

1487
01:04:12,600 --> 01:04:14,480
Speaker 1: If you do, great, But she hasn't text me back,

1488
01:04:14,520 --> 01:04:17,160
Speaker 1: and I think she's offended and low key at melting down.

1489
01:04:17,280 --> 01:04:19,360
Speaker 1: Look if she doesn't want makeup, and it's one less

1490
01:04:19,400 --> 01:04:21,040
Speaker 1: thing for me to worry about. Months ago, I asked

1491
01:04:21,080 --> 01:04:22,560
Speaker 1: her if she want to make up, and she said

1492
01:04:22,560 --> 01:04:24,400
Speaker 1: a little bit would be good, but she didn't know

1493
01:04:24,440 --> 01:04:26,720
Speaker 1: how to apply it. And that's when I volunteered, because

1494
01:04:26,800 --> 01:04:30,040
Speaker 1: I'd love for her to look her Sunday best feel

1495
01:04:30,160 --> 01:04:33,200
Speaker 1: beautiful in photos. Already bought her foundation and things I

1496
01:04:33,280 --> 01:04:35,360
Speaker 1: just wish I hadn't already spent the money if she

1497
01:04:35,440 --> 01:04:39,680
Speaker 1: truly didn't want it. Makeup makeup free? How much is

1498
01:04:39,680 --> 01:04:40,400
Speaker 1: a makeup? I don't know.

1499
01:04:40,480 --> 01:04:41,480
Speaker 2: I don't buy a lot of makeup.

1500
01:04:42,320 --> 01:04:42,960
Speaker 1: You have a makeup.

1501
01:04:43,240 --> 01:04:45,480
Speaker 2: I feel like on the cheaper end you can get

1502
01:04:45,520 --> 01:04:48,440
Speaker 2: like nice eyeshadow for like thirty bucks.

1503
01:04:48,520 --> 01:04:49,200
Speaker 1: That's expensive.

1504
01:04:49,200 --> 01:04:50,360
Speaker 2: It's like on the cheaper ends.

1505
01:04:50,640 --> 01:04:51,600
Speaker 1: And how long is that left?

1506
01:04:51,880 --> 01:04:53,360
Speaker 2: And that's like like that big?

1507
01:04:53,520 --> 01:04:56,160
Speaker 1: Oh is that big? Is that small? No, that's small.

1508
01:04:57,360 --> 01:04:58,040
Speaker 1: It's expensive.

1509
01:04:58,160 --> 01:05:00,720
Speaker 2: I don't have to tell you that big expensive.

1510
01:05:00,920 --> 01:05:02,280
Speaker 1: I just wish I hadn't spent all the money if

1511
01:05:02,320 --> 01:05:05,640
Speaker 1: she truly didn't want it. Optional backup story about the

1512
01:05:05,640 --> 01:05:08,680
Speaker 1: makeup and the very anti makeup kind of Gaal occasionally

1513
01:05:08,760 --> 01:05:11,240
Speaker 1: she wears lipstick in the past. She's even seen me

1514
01:05:11,320 --> 01:05:13,040
Speaker 1: wearing makeup even though it's a natural look, and she

1515
01:05:13,200 --> 01:05:16,000
Speaker 1: harps on me, that's ridiculous. Yeah, she doesn't like it,

1516
01:05:16,160 --> 01:05:19,000
Speaker 1: so I shouldn't wear it either. It's bad for my

1517
01:05:19,040 --> 01:05:21,360
Speaker 1: skin and whatnot. I just don't think there's any harm

1518
01:05:21,360 --> 01:05:24,000
Speaker 1: in covering up dark circles and wearing it occasionally.

1519
01:05:24,040 --> 01:05:26,200
Speaker 2: There ain't any harm, and she should mind her own business.

1520
01:05:26,520 --> 01:05:29,480
Speaker 1: Months ago, I asked what she was planning for the bridesmaids,

1521
01:05:29,560 --> 01:05:33,360
Speaker 1: and she only mentioned dresses and flower hair clips. Cool,

1522
01:05:33,440 --> 01:05:35,680
Speaker 1: jewelry looks pretty, but it's not for me. Well, we're

1523
01:05:35,680 --> 01:05:38,240
Speaker 1: both adults now, so I thought we'd grown past all

1524
01:05:38,280 --> 01:05:40,480
Speaker 1: the pettiness. No, you were wrong. Plus it was a

1525
01:05:40,520 --> 01:05:42,240
Speaker 1: long time ago. I mean, who cares. I just let

1526
01:05:42,320 --> 01:05:44,360
Speaker 1: it go, and I didn't even remember till today. But

1527
01:05:44,440 --> 01:05:46,440
Speaker 1: this morning she got stuck her tongue out at me

1528
01:05:46,520 --> 01:05:49,000
Speaker 1: and said she was making me jewelry and I had

1529
01:05:49,040 --> 01:05:50,919
Speaker 1: to wear it. Okay, weird At the moment, I didn't

1530
01:05:50,920 --> 01:05:53,040
Speaker 1: say anything and just finished making her tea. I guess

1531
01:05:53,040 --> 01:05:54,480
Speaker 1: it's not that big of a deal. Wear some bling

1532
01:05:54,560 --> 01:05:56,320
Speaker 1: for a few hours and I can take it off. No, biggie,

1533
01:05:56,320 --> 01:05:58,280
Speaker 1: it just rubs me the wrong way that she's rubbing

1534
01:05:58,280 --> 01:06:01,880
Speaker 1: this in my face so hard. Just more important things

1535
01:06:01,880 --> 01:06:04,840
Speaker 1: to worry about. She's making this jewelry right now, Like,

1536
01:06:04,880 --> 01:06:08,240
Speaker 1: of all the things to ensure that this wedding goes smoothly,

1537
01:06:08,680 --> 01:06:11,440
Speaker 1: the jewelry, the jewelry needs to be perfect.

1538
01:06:11,440 --> 01:06:13,160
Speaker 2: Well, he's like, are you sure we shouldn't focus on

1539
01:06:13,160 --> 01:06:15,520
Speaker 2: like maybe like the day and making sure that you

1540
01:06:15,520 --> 01:06:16,680
Speaker 2: have all the decorations.

1541
01:06:16,720 --> 01:06:19,160
Speaker 1: She's like, now, and she starts making that friendship bracelet

1542
01:06:19,240 --> 01:06:22,080
Speaker 1: jewelry that's everything. There's a lot more important things to

1543
01:06:22,120 --> 01:06:24,720
Speaker 1: do worry about than freaking jewelry right now, and she

1544
01:06:24,720 --> 01:06:28,400
Speaker 1: still doesn't have her own shoes or any flowers. It out,

1545
01:06:28,760 --> 01:06:31,040
Speaker 1: Why bring up stuff from our childhood? I may have

1546
01:06:31,400 --> 01:06:35,360
Speaker 1: missed an important part. I'm gonna hit this backstory really.

1547
01:06:35,320 --> 01:06:36,160
Speaker 2: Cuse it's optional.

1548
01:06:36,320 --> 01:06:38,360
Speaker 1: It was optional, but it turns out it wasn't optional,

1549
01:06:38,400 --> 01:06:40,800
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna go back to the backstory. Ever since

1550
01:06:40,800 --> 01:06:42,360
Speaker 1: we were a little kid, and she always was trying

1551
01:06:42,360 --> 01:06:44,320
Speaker 1: to force me to wear jewelry that I had my

1552
01:06:44,360 --> 01:06:46,080
Speaker 1: ears pierced one day, and as a little kid, the

1553
01:06:46,080 --> 01:06:47,840
Speaker 1: texture of jewelry just felt weird to me and I

1554
01:06:47,880 --> 01:06:49,920
Speaker 1: didn't like it. And also used to tell me if

1555
01:06:49,920 --> 01:06:52,480
Speaker 1: she couldn't make me wear stuff, then she'd force me

1556
01:06:52,800 --> 01:06:55,400
Speaker 1: to wear it at her future wedding and I could

1557
01:06:55,440 --> 01:06:57,560
Speaker 1: never be a true woman if I don't wore any

1558
01:06:57,680 --> 01:06:59,200
Speaker 1: I just shrugged it off and said I wouldn't be

1559
01:06:59,240 --> 01:07:01,520
Speaker 1: her bridesmaid or whatever. She used to paint me as

1560
01:07:01,640 --> 01:07:04,400
Speaker 1: the to our mother whenever I wouldn't wear jewelry. Okay,

1561
01:07:04,440 --> 01:07:06,040
Speaker 1: so this jewelry beef goes.

1562
01:07:06,080 --> 01:07:07,400
Speaker 2: So she's really into her jewelry.

1563
01:07:07,440 --> 01:07:08,880
Speaker 1: She's really she just really controlling.

1564
01:07:08,960 --> 01:07:11,360
Speaker 2: She's like, you can't wear makeup because I don't wear makeup.

1565
01:07:11,560 --> 01:07:13,360
Speaker 2: You have to wear jewelry because I were jewelry.

1566
01:07:13,360 --> 01:07:15,120
Speaker 1: I want to be matching out our wedding. You I

1567
01:07:15,200 --> 01:07:16,400
Speaker 1: wear white, you were wet.

1568
01:07:16,840 --> 01:07:18,520
Speaker 2: And then'pe shows up when and she's like, why would

1569
01:07:18,520 --> 01:07:19,400
Speaker 2: you wear white to my wedding?

1570
01:07:19,520 --> 01:07:22,200
Speaker 1: And is getting frustrated with me about some other things.

1571
01:07:22,240 --> 01:07:23,840
Speaker 1: And I don't know if it's simply because I'm not

1572
01:07:23,840 --> 01:07:27,000
Speaker 1: communicating things clearly enough, or if I'm just creating problems

1573
01:07:27,000 --> 01:07:30,000
Speaker 1: and needlessly stressing her out. The information can't handle, example,

1574
01:07:30,080 --> 01:07:33,200
Speaker 1: making conversations about anything not wedding related. On a slightly

1575
01:07:33,240 --> 01:07:36,880
Speaker 1: different note, my mother is understandably very overwhelmed with everything.

1576
01:07:36,960 --> 01:07:38,960
Speaker 1: She keeps asking me to clean up the house, which

1577
01:07:39,000 --> 01:07:41,120
Speaker 1: is completely cluttered with wedding stuff. I need to clean

1578
01:07:41,200 --> 01:07:44,080
Speaker 1: up everyone's dishes, sweep and mop the house, sort through

1579
01:07:44,120 --> 01:07:46,560
Speaker 1: Anne's wedding stuff. What is Anne even doing? But you

1580
01:07:46,560 --> 01:07:48,960
Speaker 1: know what you should always sort through is our podcast

1581
01:07:49,080 --> 01:07:52,280
Speaker 1: Okay Storytime, which you can search up wherever you get

1582
01:07:52,320 --> 01:07:54,640
Speaker 1: your podcasts. Need to listen to us twenty four to

1583
01:07:54,680 --> 01:07:55,680
Speaker 1: seven into your ear.

1584
01:07:55,560 --> 01:07:56,600
Speaker 2: Holes all seven.

1585
01:07:57,920 --> 01:07:59,960
Speaker 1: I'll absolutely do what I can to make things eat.

1586
01:08:00,040 --> 01:08:02,880
Speaker 1: You're for mom, but I also have to do those

1587
01:08:02,880 --> 01:08:05,240
Speaker 1: things at my own apartment. I moved out and have

1588
01:08:05,320 --> 01:08:07,920
Speaker 1: my own life now I have my own responsibilities to

1589
01:08:07,960 --> 01:08:10,680
Speaker 1: take care of. Mom is doing all this major wedding

1590
01:08:10,720 --> 01:08:13,400
Speaker 1: planning because An hasn't done a thing and has it

1591
01:08:13,640 --> 01:08:17,320
Speaker 1: lifted a frickin finger. At what point does OP just

1592
01:08:17,520 --> 01:08:20,200
Speaker 1: you know, take a step back and say no more,

1593
01:08:20,439 --> 01:08:21,080
Speaker 1: this is on you.

1594
01:08:21,200 --> 01:08:21,920
Speaker 3: Enough is enough.

1595
01:08:22,160 --> 01:08:26,800
Speaker 1: I am done. Honestly, you have crossed my boundaries. I mean,

1596
01:08:26,840 --> 01:08:28,080
Speaker 1: I feel like it's getting to the point.

1597
01:08:28,080 --> 01:08:30,840
Speaker 2: I'm like, hey, it's getting there. It's like it's certainly getting.

1598
01:08:30,680 --> 01:08:32,800
Speaker 1: You are being way too demanding. You need to take

1599
01:08:32,800 --> 01:08:36,080
Speaker 1: a step back. You take two steps back. Although a

1600
01:08:36,160 --> 01:08:39,559
Speaker 1: parent's child is never well, it's never too old to

1601
01:08:39,560 --> 01:08:41,559
Speaker 1: do the dishes at their parents, Like, I get that,

1602
01:08:41,640 --> 01:08:43,280
Speaker 1: But now I even have a guess at my place

1603
01:08:43,320 --> 01:08:45,360
Speaker 1: and I majorally need to sweep them up my own apartment.

1604
01:08:45,400 --> 01:08:47,599
Speaker 1: But I'm too busy at my parents to catch up

1605
01:08:47,680 --> 01:08:51,719
Speaker 1: in time updates. I am now going to be hosting

1606
01:08:51,720 --> 01:08:54,880
Speaker 1: a little get together with the other two bridesmaids because

1607
01:08:54,920 --> 01:08:57,599
Speaker 1: my parents' place is a mess, so I absolutely must

1608
01:08:57,680 --> 01:09:00,160
Speaker 1: get my place cleaned up. I have no idea what

1609
01:09:00,200 --> 01:09:02,240
Speaker 1: we'll do. Maybe I can bring some board games over,

1610
01:09:02,520 --> 01:09:05,400
Speaker 1: we can watch TV, who knows, but yeah, basically, OPI

1611
01:09:05,520 --> 01:09:10,320
Speaker 1: is getting spread thin, spread to the max. Uh question

1612
01:09:10,600 --> 01:09:14,400
Speaker 1: for the spread dinner than a crape? Amen? But that's

1613
01:09:14,400 --> 01:09:15,200
Speaker 1: the end of that story.