WEBVTT - Tools for Choosing to Stand Up with Gabrielle Carteris 0:00:01.639 --> 0:00:08.879 You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Girl. Gabrielle 0:00:08.920 --> 0:00:12.639 Carterras has been fighting for workers' rights for decades. No 0:00:12.640 --> 0:00:16.560 matter what industry you're in. Gabrielle has some solid tips 0:00:16.720 --> 0:00:20.720 for finding your voice, standing your ground, and supporting one 0:00:20.760 --> 0:00:23.520 another along the way. You won't want to miss this. 0:00:24.200 --> 0:00:27.280 People really look to us as women who made it 0:00:27.320 --> 0:00:30.720 in a tricky time in the industry, and I'm not 0:00:30.760 --> 0:00:32.800 really sure if it's that much different now. 0:00:33.680 --> 0:00:35.440 Yeah, I would imagine it's not. 0:00:36.640 --> 0:00:40.240 Can you please help our listeners, no matter what industry 0:00:40.280 --> 0:00:43.559 they are in, stand up for themselves. Let me ask you, 0:00:45.400 --> 0:00:50.640 in the negotiation process right out of the gate, should 0:00:50.720 --> 0:00:53.599 women always ask for more money? What's the smartest way 0:00:53.640 --> 0:00:54.040 to do that? 0:00:54.280 --> 0:00:55.920 Well, first of all, it depends what you want out 0:00:55.920 --> 0:00:59.960 of the negotiation, and negotiations not only about money, right, 0:01:00.200 --> 0:01:03.200 So if you're saying that women are paid less than 0:01:03.240 --> 0:01:06.120 men and that women should demand to be able to 0:01:06.800 --> 0:01:10.760 have equal pay equal pay, then I absolutely, but that's 0:01:10.760 --> 0:01:13.960 not always what it negotiation is about. But so there 0:01:13.959 --> 0:01:17.520 can be many things. But yes, I think that it 0:01:17.640 --> 0:01:20.480 is very important and it's not just a woman. I 0:01:20.480 --> 0:01:23.479 think men should demand it as well. But anybody who 0:01:23.520 --> 0:01:28.039 does commensurate work to somebody. Yes, we should all be 0:01:28.120 --> 0:01:31.480 paid fairly and it shouldn't matter about our sex. That 0:01:31.560 --> 0:01:34.800 this is a question for me as enraging. I mean, 0:01:34.880 --> 0:01:36.920 it's just it doesn't make sense to me at all. 0:01:37.000 --> 0:01:40.759 If my work is really good, regardless of my sex, 0:01:41.200 --> 0:01:44.240 and this person's work is really good, we should be paid. 0:01:44.640 --> 0:01:46.880 I don't want to have to go in have to 0:01:46.880 --> 0:01:47.440 make a deal. 0:01:47.880 --> 0:01:49.800 Yeah, it's ridiculous that we have to fight to have 0:01:49.840 --> 0:01:50.400 equal pay. 0:01:50.520 --> 0:01:51.920 It's disgusting, it's terrible. 0:01:52.480 --> 0:01:55.160 I mean, especially when it's you know, but our apples 0:01:55.200 --> 0:01:57.720 to Apple's, like we've all had the same experience. We 0:01:57.800 --> 0:01:59.279 both bring so much to the table. 0:01:59.480 --> 0:02:03.040 Absolutely, and I think it's actually when the whole thing 0:02:03.080 --> 0:02:05.440 I told you about with Luke and I, for me 0:02:05.520 --> 0:02:08.520 that was like a that was a really aha moment 0:02:08.560 --> 0:02:09.040 in my life. 0:02:09.120 --> 0:02:10.040 Right yeah. 0:02:10.240 --> 0:02:14.160 Yeah, So don't be afraid. 0:02:13.000 --> 0:02:15.480 Or be afraid. Fear is not a bad thing. I 0:02:15.480 --> 0:02:17.519 think we all have fear. It's learning to let fear 0:02:17.520 --> 0:02:19.480 walk by your side. You can walk side by side 0:02:19.520 --> 0:02:22.440 with fear and still do things in your life you don't. 0:02:22.880 --> 0:02:26.000 Fear is something that dissipates only when we move forward. 0:02:26.080 --> 0:02:29.400 It doesn't you can't push it away. So you can 0:02:29.440 --> 0:02:33.360 be afraid but still know that you have value. You 0:02:33.400 --> 0:02:37.280 can be afraid and you can still go and be 0:02:37.440 --> 0:02:40.280 clear about what you deserve. And you don't have to 0:02:40.320 --> 0:02:42.959 have shame about that, right, you know. I mean, we 0:02:43.960 --> 0:02:46.799 don't have to apologize for the work that we do. 0:02:47.000 --> 0:02:49.680 I mean it's one thing to say I want you 0:02:49.720 --> 0:02:51.480 to pay me, but I'm not going to show up. 0:02:51.760 --> 0:02:53.160 I'm not going to do a very good job. 0:02:53.360 --> 0:02:55.440 But if you're showing up and you're doing that job, 0:02:55.560 --> 0:02:58.480 that shouldn't be a question. That should not be a debate. Yes, 0:02:58.560 --> 0:03:00.880 So you can have fear, I'm not going to stay, 0:03:00.919 --> 0:03:04.640 don't it fear. Regardless of your fear, know that you 0:03:04.720 --> 0:03:07.960 have value and that nothing will change unless you ask 0:03:08.040 --> 0:03:10.840 for it. Nothing will change really unless you ask for it. 0:03:10.960 --> 0:03:14.560 So true, once you're in a job and you're feeling 0:03:14.800 --> 0:03:18.799 discriminated against or harassed in some way, who do you 0:03:18.840 --> 0:03:22.919 go to? Do you go to human resources? Because I've 0:03:22.960 --> 0:03:26.399 been told that human resources are there for the company, 0:03:26.919 --> 0:03:28.200 not so much the individual. 0:03:28.880 --> 0:03:31.440 I think it depends on the company. I just I 0:03:31.480 --> 0:03:34.400 hate blanket stuff, so I can't say there are other 0:03:34.920 --> 0:03:36.760 HR there's people I know who work in HR who 0:03:36.760 --> 0:03:39.480 are very high integrity, and they are really they're doing 0:03:39.520 --> 0:03:41.440 the work of HR. But just like in any place, 0:03:41.880 --> 0:03:43.720 you can be in another place that's not like that, 0:03:43.760 --> 0:03:46.000 but if they're not doing it. Look, I'm the kind 0:03:46.040 --> 0:03:48.720 of person if something really bothers me, I'll be loud 0:03:48.720 --> 0:03:51.880 and proud. So I can't. I know that that might 0:03:51.920 --> 0:03:55.560 not be the path of everybody. But even like when 0:03:55.560 --> 0:03:58.440 I was injured, and you know it was you know, 0:03:58.480 --> 0:04:01.360 the producers were so terrible me. The producer who was 0:04:01.400 --> 0:04:04.240 so bad I went public. He couldn't believe I went 0:04:04.280 --> 0:04:07.040 into the press and there were a lot of repercussions 0:04:07.080 --> 0:04:10.280 for that. He gave out my personal address, He did 0:04:10.280 --> 0:04:12.400 all these things that the courts found him, you know, 0:04:12.560 --> 0:04:15.680 to be wrong, and he was fine for But I 0:04:15.720 --> 0:04:20.599 say be proud and loud, and if you think you can't, 0:04:21.120 --> 0:04:24.640 that's only a thought that we don't have to let 0:04:24.680 --> 0:04:27.240 our fear be the thing that stops us again. It 0:04:27.279 --> 0:04:29.760 can exist at the same time as you walk forward. 0:04:29.839 --> 0:04:30.360 That's right. 0:04:31.080 --> 0:04:33.480 It's so good to remember that two things can exist 0:04:33.520 --> 0:04:38.360 at the same thing. Yeah, So, do you have any 0:04:38.400 --> 0:04:42.880 suggestions or maybe people should try different ways like to 0:04:42.920 --> 0:04:47.000 document things to protect themselves before they go into report something. 0:04:47.720 --> 0:04:49.520 Well, first of all, I always think it's not only 0:04:49.600 --> 0:04:53.560 good to write down information to be specific, but it's 0:04:53.640 --> 0:04:57.479 also I respond, I keep bring up my case. But 0:04:57.520 --> 0:04:59.840 that was a big movement for me, a moment because 0:05:00.240 --> 0:05:01.960 I won that case after nine years. 0:05:02.520 --> 0:05:03.800 No, that was a long battle. 0:05:03.880 --> 0:05:06.640 It was a long battle. I say every email that 0:05:06.760 --> 0:05:08.960 is sent to you and that you keep everything. I 0:05:09.080 --> 0:05:12.599 journaled from the minute I got injured I started to journal. 0:05:13.000 --> 0:05:16.479 It was five years later that they were able to 0:05:16.520 --> 0:05:19.839 look at my journal to get information on people that 0:05:19.880 --> 0:05:21.840 I could never remember, the names that I was so 0:05:21.880 --> 0:05:24.120 sure i'd remember right at the time, like I'll never 0:05:24.200 --> 0:05:27.240 forget this. Well, guess what I forgot. But it was 0:05:27.279 --> 0:05:30.320 all in writing. So yes, you should write everything down, 0:05:30.440 --> 0:05:32.680 write dann what people are saying. If somebody says something 0:05:32.720 --> 0:05:35.159 to you and it's not in writing, you can confirm 0:05:35.240 --> 0:05:37.880 the conversation in an email or a text. You could 0:05:37.880 --> 0:05:40.440 say I just wanted to reiterate, or say I heard 0:05:40.480 --> 0:05:42.400 you when you said this. I want to make sure 0:05:42.400 --> 0:05:45.799 I was hearing that correctly. Do really keep a track 0:05:45.839 --> 0:05:48.840 of everything because time can go for a while and 0:05:48.960 --> 0:05:51.520 you could always be able to fall back to that documentation. 0:05:52.200 --> 0:05:54.120 And also it helps to release you. I think the 0:05:54.120 --> 0:05:56.800 more you document, the less you hold on to it 0:05:57.440 --> 0:06:00.800 emotionally and perseverate over it. I think it gives you 0:06:00.920 --> 0:06:04.080 room to think beyond. So it's important to document. 0:06:04.320 --> 0:06:08.440 Yes, okay, that's good. Supporting one another is vital in 0:06:08.480 --> 0:06:12.120 any kind of work environment, and so often we're pitted 0:06:12.160 --> 0:06:16.320 against one another as actors competing for the same jobs, 0:06:16.839 --> 0:06:20.520 the same press, etc. Do you have ideas for people 0:06:21.800 --> 0:06:25.839 so that they can forge relationships and alliances at work, 0:06:26.520 --> 0:06:32.640 so there is that support, that community, that group. You know, 0:06:32.800 --> 0:06:35.320 when when you're not just keeping it inside like you did, 0:06:35.440 --> 0:06:36.320 or like I did. 0:06:36.880 --> 0:06:40.000 Asks people to lunch, you know, take a moment. That's 0:06:40.240 --> 0:06:42.480 two bad people only working on the computers at home. 0:06:42.560 --> 0:06:42.800 Now. 0:06:43.279 --> 0:06:45.880 One of the most wonderful things I think can be 0:06:45.920 --> 0:06:48.440 the work environment. It doesn't always have to be hostile, 0:06:48.839 --> 0:06:51.479 but I think that being able to be honest, to 0:06:51.560 --> 0:06:53.919 stand up not only expect people to stand up for you, 0:06:54.040 --> 0:06:56.839 but stand up for them right. You want to mirror 0:06:56.880 --> 0:06:59.000 the thing that you want to have have and for you, 0:06:59.200 --> 0:07:02.520 it's really important and so I think that you know, 0:07:03.080 --> 0:07:05.640 take a moment away from yourself, look at the person. 0:07:06.400 --> 0:07:08.880 You did a great job today, or I really admired 0:07:08.920 --> 0:07:11.320 when you said that one thing. I'd love to talk 0:07:11.320 --> 0:07:13.840 to you more about that. I think that we make 0:07:13.920 --> 0:07:17.520 it less about ourselves more about the other and about us. 0:07:18.040 --> 0:07:22.760 I think that garners a really much healthier environment. 0:07:22.880 --> 0:07:25.320 Yeah, absolutely, I love that. 0:07:28.560 --> 0:07:32.600 I'm Kristin Davis, host of the podcast Are You a Charlotte? 0:07:32.800 --> 0:07:36.920 The most anticipated guest from season three is here the 0:07:37.040 --> 0:07:41.200 Tray to My Charlotte. Kyle McGlaughlin joins me to relive 0:07:41.480 --> 0:07:45.440 all of the magical Tray and Charlotte moments. He reveals 0:07:45.720 --> 0:07:49.320 what he thinks of Trey giving Charlotte a cardboard baby? 0:07:50.040 --> 0:07:51.480 Why would I bring her a cardboard baby? 0:07:51.480 --> 0:07:54.400 As literally, I was like, this doesn't track for me 0:07:54.680 --> 0:07:55.119 at all. 0:07:55.400 --> 0:07:57.880 When he found out Tray's shortcomings, I'm. 0:07:57.760 --> 0:07:58.800 Kind of excited to talking about. 0:07:58.800 --> 0:08:01.000 You know, I think he's the guy's time in Central Park. 0:08:01.040 --> 0:08:02.680 You know, he's probably be some. 0:08:02.680 --> 0:08:04.640 Surgery stuff, you know, And I was like, all this 0:08:04.720 --> 0:08:06.880 kind of stuff going on, and they were like yeah, yeah, yeah, fine, 0:08:07.160 --> 0:08:10.520 and they said, but he's impotent, And I was like, he's. 0:08:10.400 --> 0:08:13.520 Impotent, and why he chose not to return to and 0:08:13.720 --> 0:08:16.240 just like that, they came and presented an idea and 0:08:16.320 --> 0:08:17.920 I was like, I get I see it. 0:08:17.920 --> 0:08:20.000 It's so kind of a one joke idea. 0:08:20.160 --> 0:08:21.080 You don't want to miss this. 0:08:21.840 --> 0:08:25.040 Listen to Are You a Charlotte on the iHeartRadio app, 0:08:25.160 --> 0:08:28.160 Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. 0:08:28.480 --> 0:08:30.720 Hey, it's Wilfredll and Sabrina Bryan. 0:08:30.640 --> 0:08:33.680 From the podcast Magical Rewind and we have a very 0:08:33.720 --> 0:08:36.679 special guest on this week's episode. He's the mastermind behind 0:08:36.679 --> 0:08:40.440 some of your favorite movies like Hocus Pocus, Newsy's, The Descendants, 0:08:40.480 --> 0:08:43.400 and of course High School Musical. Yes, it is the 0:08:43.440 --> 0:08:47.120 one and only a living legend director Kenny or Tega. 0:08:47.280 --> 0:08:49.719 We sit down with Kenny to talk about his incredible 0:08:49.760 --> 0:08:53.000 career and the legacy he's created with his choreography and films. 0:08:53.200 --> 0:08:55.200 You seriously will not want to miss this one. 0:08:55.240 --> 0:08:58.679 Listen to Magical Rewind on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, 0:08:58.760 --> 0:09:00.199 or wherever you get your podcast Yes. 0:09:03.520 --> 0:09:05.959 When did the intimacy coordinator come into play? 0:09:06.120 --> 0:09:11.439 God, so we're in twenty twenty. I think first of all, 0:09:11.440 --> 0:09:14.839 the intimacy coordinators existed on the stage. That was something 0:09:14.880 --> 0:09:17.400 that existed in theaters because they needed to find a 0:09:17.400 --> 0:09:19.120 way to make it work on stage to look like 0:09:19.160 --> 0:09:22.000 you're having sex and not have sex. Than when the 0:09:22.000 --> 0:09:25.440 Harvey Weinstein moment came, and that was so look at 0:09:25.480 --> 0:09:27.760 people spoke out for the first time saying, not only 0:09:27.840 --> 0:09:30.480 he did stuff, but you started hearing stories the me 0:09:30.559 --> 0:09:34.840 too movement that nobody had heard before, and so there were. 0:09:34.800 --> 0:09:36.360 Actors who talked about it. 0:09:36.400 --> 0:09:39.840 We started talking on a global level around the world 0:09:40.160 --> 0:09:43.440 about this was happening in every country, and women were 0:09:43.480 --> 0:09:45.480 starting to admit that, yes, this had happened. 0:09:45.480 --> 0:09:47.040 Men had talked about it happening. 0:09:47.559 --> 0:09:51.079 And then we started talking about this intimacy coordinator thing. 0:09:51.240 --> 0:09:55.120 HBO had started doing it and owning it for their 0:09:55.160 --> 0:09:58.880 productions because they had more hyper exposed work, and then 0:09:59.000 --> 0:10:02.160 we started to talk amongst each other. Then started bringing 0:10:02.200 --> 0:10:04.800 in intimacy coordinators from theater who started to do it 0:10:04.840 --> 0:10:07.320 into you know, film, and then we said, but what 0:10:07.360 --> 0:10:11.000 about TV? Because TV is much more explicit now than 0:10:11.000 --> 0:10:12.079 it was when we started. 0:10:12.480 --> 0:10:15.320 We talk about how different, you know. 0:10:15.720 --> 0:10:17.720 I feel like a grandma when I thought, oh. 0:10:17.600 --> 0:10:20.560 My god, they feel like we had we didn't have 0:10:20.679 --> 0:10:24.120 you sell your phones then. But anyway, so it's but 0:10:24.920 --> 0:10:29.160 so that's it started. I think in twenty twenty, twenty nineteen. 0:10:29.480 --> 0:10:31.240 Oh god, it's been too I can't tell you the 0:10:31.240 --> 0:10:34.600 exact year that we really started to work on that. Now, 0:10:35.080 --> 0:10:38.000 I mean sag after. You know, they've just now made 0:10:38.080 --> 0:10:44.120 intimacy coordinators a category, a category, which is amazing. They're represented, 0:10:44.200 --> 0:10:47.719 they get great, I mean that gosh there, I think 0:10:47.800 --> 0:10:50.320 right now in negotiations actually with them, you know, for 0:10:50.400 --> 0:10:52.520 them to have you know, so they can figure out 0:10:52.520 --> 0:10:53.400 the wages. 0:10:53.000 --> 0:10:54.640 And all that. It's amazing. 0:10:54.720 --> 0:10:58.880 I can't believe that it started as a concept when 0:10:58.880 --> 0:11:01.720 I was in the presidency and the evolution it's taken 0:11:01.800 --> 0:11:05.000 through you know, fran Dresher when she was president and 0:11:05.000 --> 0:11:07.920 how it grew and then now we're you know, Sean 0:11:08.000 --> 0:11:11.920 Aston is there and I'm excited to see. It's so 0:11:12.120 --> 0:11:14.800 interesting to see the birth of something. 0:11:14.760 --> 0:11:18.439 Right, especially something like that, like as an actress, having 0:11:18.559 --> 0:11:23.480 had no support other than a male director and a 0:11:23.480 --> 0:11:27.560 male co star during those intimate scenes where we have 0:11:27.640 --> 0:11:29.800 to portray certain. 0:11:29.640 --> 0:11:32.720 Friend of a crew of one hundred men usually. 0:11:34.120 --> 0:11:36.920 But it's not that way anymore, thank god. It's much 0:11:36.920 --> 0:11:40.880 more diverse. But back in the day, yeah, I would 0:11:40.880 --> 0:11:42.640 have felt so much more comfortable if I had an 0:11:42.640 --> 0:11:48.200 intimacy coordinator, just somebody there, somebody say has a different perspective, 0:11:48.320 --> 0:11:50.120 is not trying to get anything from you. 0:11:50.559 --> 0:11:52.439 And so have you able to say something I'm not 0:11:52.480 --> 0:11:55.280 feeling comfortable about this? You know, well, how would you 0:11:55.280 --> 0:11:58.880 feel comfortable? Let's talk about that. Or intimacy coordinators aren't 0:11:58.880 --> 0:12:02.360 also just for a hyperds those sex scenes. Think about 0:12:02.400 --> 0:12:04.760 somebody who has to play a pedophile. We talk about 0:12:04.760 --> 0:12:06.719 this all the time, and they have to do it 0:12:06.760 --> 0:12:09.000 with a child. They're not doing anything, but even that 0:12:09.320 --> 0:12:12.199 you know, and you you're a parent, and that feeling 0:12:12.240 --> 0:12:13.920 that you have about that, and I don't know how 0:12:13.960 --> 0:12:16.040 to how to reconcile, like how do I make it 0:12:16.040 --> 0:12:18.360 so that the child doesn't feel and how do I 0:12:18.400 --> 0:12:21.079 make sure they have a voice? Like I am telling 0:12:21.120 --> 0:12:24.400 you it is one of the greatest things that is 0:12:24.440 --> 0:12:27.679 being put into our work. 0:12:27.800 --> 0:12:32.000 I think so too, Yeah, I definitely think so. What's 0:12:32.160 --> 0:12:36.640 one piece of advice that you live by every day? 0:12:36.960 --> 0:12:39.120 Be true to yourself, Be true to yourself, Be true 0:12:39.160 --> 0:12:41.000 to yourself, be true to yourself. 0:12:41.640 --> 0:12:42.199 Everybody. 0:12:42.400 --> 0:12:44.240 You might hear a lot of different this is what's 0:12:44.240 --> 0:12:45.560 done and this is what it's done. 0:12:45.760 --> 0:12:49.880 Be true to yourself. In the end, it's all make believe. 0:12:49.800 --> 0:12:51.840 Right, That's the thing you always hear. Well, this is 0:12:51.840 --> 0:12:52.400 how we do it. 0:12:52.520 --> 0:12:54.120 This is how we've always done it, This is how 0:12:54.160 --> 0:12:55.520 they do, this is what they want, this is what 0:12:55.520 --> 0:12:56.960 they're looking for, this is what they want. 0:12:57.000 --> 0:12:57.880 Are you okay with that? 0:12:58.000 --> 0:13:02.400 And you're like I, I guess everybody everyways doing it. 0:13:01.920 --> 0:13:04.240 Ye, be true to yourself, Be tu yourself. 0:13:05.240 --> 0:13:08.000 It's very good advice. So you just gave an actor, 0:13:08.320 --> 0:13:09.040 no advice. 0:13:10.160 --> 0:13:11.920 I just shared a thought with a friend. 0:13:12.880 --> 0:13:16.119 Any other last words for those working hard everywhere? 0:13:16.679 --> 0:13:18.760 Bravo, bravo. 0:13:20.000 --> 0:13:25.080 Yeah, what else can you say? Thank you for your 0:13:25.120 --> 0:13:28.440 time on the pod with me. I so appreciate you 0:13:28.640 --> 0:13:31.040 being here. And so many people are out there working 0:13:31.080 --> 0:13:34.720 really hard in the entertainment industry, so you are amazing 0:13:35.200 --> 0:13:37.800 and everybody really appreciates all the work that you do. 0:13:38.720 --> 0:13:39.120 Thank you. 0:13:39.400 --> 0:13:43.880 I really appreciate being here, and I appreciate every single 0:13:43.880 --> 0:13:46.719 person who's really out there putting it out there. Yeah, 0:13:46.760 --> 0:13:48.680 because it makes a difference. It makes a difference.