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Speaker 1: Coming up on you need therapy.

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Speaker 2: I can't give you a checklist that's going to say like, Okay,

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Speaker 2: do these things and you won't have postpartum depression, or

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Speaker 2: that this will get you pregnant. By the way, if

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Speaker 2: anyone guarantees those things, they're lying to you. You know,

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Speaker 2: it's like I've just seen too many journeys. If I

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Speaker 2: knew a guarantee, I would love to make it, you know,

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Speaker 2: But it's one of those things that every person is

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Speaker 2: so much more than the reason they won open my

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Speaker 2: door or sat on the couch. I started to realize

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Speaker 2: that not being an expert isn't a liability, it's a

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Speaker 2: real gift. If we don't know something about ourselves at

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Speaker 2: this point in our life, it's probably because it's uncomfortable

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Speaker 2: to know.

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Speaker 1: If you can die before you die, then you can

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Speaker 1: really live.

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Speaker 3: There's a wisdom at death's door. I thought I was insane. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: and I didn't know what to do because there was

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Speaker 3: no internet.

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Speaker 4: I don't know, man, I'm like, I feel like everything

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Speaker 4: is hard.

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Speaker 1: Hey, y'all, my name is Kat.

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Speaker 4: I'm a human first and a licensed therapist second, and

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Speaker 4: right now I'm inviting you into conversations that I hope

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Speaker 4: encourage you to become more curious and less judgmental about yourself, others,

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Speaker 4: and the world around you.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to You Need Therapy.

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Speaker 4: Hi guys, and welcome to a new episode of You

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Speaker 4: Need Therapy Podcast.

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Speaker 1: I'm Kat, I'm the host, and so glad you're here.

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Speaker 4: I wanted to give a quick disclaimer before we get

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Speaker 4: into today's episode that although I'm a therapist and I

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Speaker 4: actually have another therapist coming on to talk to us today,

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Speaker 4: that this podcast does not serve as a replacement or

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Speaker 4: substitute for any mental health services, although we always hope

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Speaker 4: that it.

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Speaker 1: Can help in some way.

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Speaker 4: So this week we are talking about something we have

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Speaker 4: not talked about yet. We have talked about body image

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Speaker 4: a lot, and eating disorders and disordered eating. We've done

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Speaker 4: multiple episodes on that throughout the year or throughout the years,

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Speaker 4: because we've been doing this for maybe five years, four years.

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Speaker 4: But what we haven't talked about is specifically body image

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Speaker 4: when it comes to pregnancy, postpartum, or even as you're

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Speaker 4: trying to conceive. So this week I have the CEO

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Speaker 4: and the founder of Readiness Counseling, which is a practice

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Speaker 4: that specializes with clients in the life stages of conception, pregnancy, postpartum, parenthood,

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Speaker 4: infertility and loss, all the things associated with that. And

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Speaker 4: so I have the founder, Emily Party here today and

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Speaker 4: we are going to do a little dive into the

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Speaker 4: ins and outs of body image and what comes up

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Speaker 4: when you are trying to get pregnant, when you're pregnant,

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Speaker 4: and after you give birth. I'm really excited to have

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Speaker 4: her here, and I'm also really excited to share her

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Speaker 4: as a resource with people in our community here in

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Speaker 4: Nashville and in the communities that she serves. I will

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Speaker 4: link everything that you need in order to find her

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Speaker 4: in our show notes, her website, their instagram. So if

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Speaker 4: you hear something that sparks your interest, you can reach

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Speaker 4: out and contact them. Know that you can always reach

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Speaker 4: out and contact me Katherine at You Need Therapy podcast

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Speaker 4: dot com if you have any questions or thoughts that

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Speaker 4: come out up around the episodes and the conversations we

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Speaker 4: have on here. So I'd like to introduce you to

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Speaker 4: my conversation with Emily Party. Okay, guys, welcome to a

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Speaker 4: new episode of You Need Therapy Podcast.

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Speaker 1: This is Kat here.

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Speaker 4: The host that you know already and I am here

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Speaker 4: with a new friend named Emily who is the CEO

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Speaker 4: and founder of Readiness Counseling that I recently discovered outside

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Speaker 4: of even my own professional world. It found me through

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Speaker 4: my personal world. So so I would like to start

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Speaker 4: this conversation off with Emily, you telling us a little

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Speaker 4: bit about yourself, anything you would want us to know

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Speaker 4: before we dive into this conversation. And then can you

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Speaker 4: give us a summary of what you guys do And

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Speaker 4: I'm really interested in what it was that to drive

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Speaker 4: you to create this.

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Speaker 2: Awesome Yes, of course, thank you so much for having

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Speaker 2: me today. So Readiness Counseling exists to serve individuals and

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Speaker 2: couples through the life stages of pregnancy, postpartum, infertility, loss,

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Speaker 2: and early parenting. And we have individual counseling. Like I said, couples,

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Speaker 2: they come in because that is the inciting incident. Something

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Speaker 2: in that milestone of life brings them here. Has you know,

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Speaker 2: could be a perinatal mood disorder like anxiety or postpartum depression.

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Speaker 2: It could just be communication issues because this is a

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Speaker 2: stressful milestone even when everything goes right all the way

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Speaker 2: through to like infertility trauma, medical birth, trauma, things like

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Speaker 2: that that we're really here to hold space for. So, yeah,

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Speaker 2: you know, it's one of those things I kind of

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Speaker 2: at this point say it's like if you're old enough

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Speaker 2: to know hairclub for men. It's like, I'm not just

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Speaker 2: the president, I'm also a user, you know. It's like

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Speaker 2: I've been through everything I treat in one facet or another.

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Speaker 2: I am the mother of four daughters, and so maternal

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Speaker 2: mental health is a huge, huge thing for me to

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Speaker 2: be able to hopefully change the landscape of how we

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Speaker 2: talk about it, how we dialogue effectively about it, how

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Speaker 2: we learn about it earlier on, and to normalize that

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Speaker 2: for my daughters to be able to grow up in

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Speaker 2: a world. But even before that, where you really see

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Speaker 2: me start all of this, what was before I became

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Speaker 2: a parent. My husband Josh and I will be married

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Speaker 2: seventeen years next month, and we knew after being married

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Speaker 2: a couple of years, we wanted we thought we wanted

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Speaker 2: to start a family, but we were like, how do

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Speaker 2: you know, how do you know when to start a family?

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Speaker 2: Like it's such a monumental, major thing. And we had

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Speaker 2: had a really good experience with our premarital counselor so

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Speaker 2: we went back to him and he was like, wait, so, like,

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Speaker 2: nothing's wrong.

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Speaker 3: What are you guys here for?

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Speaker 2: You know? And we're like no, no, like we're excited,

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Speaker 2: we just don't know what we're doing. We're not sure

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Speaker 2: are we ready to jump in? And so we, by happenstance,

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Speaker 2: ended up getting good counseling for several months, ended up

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Speaker 2: taking you know, about a year to conceive our first

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Speaker 2: which in hindsight doesn't feel like that long, but when

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Speaker 2: you are in it, if you're a listener who wants

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Speaker 2: to be pregnant, you want to be pregnant yesterday, you know.

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Speaker 2: And so that was kind of the spark of just

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Speaker 2: being able to see the value of investing in our

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Speaker 2: relationship and who we are as people and our expectations.

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Speaker 2: Then I wrote a book about becoming a mother, and

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Speaker 2: then we ended up moving to Nashville from southern California

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Speaker 2: to go to grad school to get my marriage and

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Speaker 2: Family therapy master's degree, and then launched Readiness. Two weeks

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Speaker 2: after graduation, I had my third daughter, which kind of

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Speaker 2: sums me up, yeah, and then launched that following year

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Speaker 2: and now have a fourth daughter, my rainbow baby that

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Speaker 2: followed a miscarriage in between as well, So it's very

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Speaker 2: ingrained in my life.

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Speaker 3: I love what I do.

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Speaker 2: It's a privilege to walk people through these huge moments,

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Speaker 2: these vulnerable spaces. And we are blessed to now have

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Speaker 2: a location in Nashville, Knoxville, and we just launched Charleston,

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Speaker 2: so we're stepping outside of Tennessee as well and really

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Speaker 2: excited to be able to help people wherever they are.

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Speaker 4: That's amazing that it's grown the way it has, and

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Speaker 4: I imagine it is growing because there's a need and

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Speaker 4: there's a lack of resources.

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Speaker 1: And I say that as a therapist, there's.

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Speaker 4: A lack of resources that I know of to offer

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Speaker 4: and I would even know to go to for myself.

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Speaker 4: When it comes to the specifics of this, I can

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Speaker 4: send you a specialist that works in this and o

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Speaker 4: city and eating disorders and depression and personality disorders. But

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Speaker 4: this I think is less common. I also think and

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Speaker 4: have experienced, this is something. I mean, with all mental

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Speaker 4: health stuff, we don't tend to like bring it out

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Speaker 4: into the opening of our lives. We've started to do

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Speaker 4: that more. Social media has helped. I think this is

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Speaker 4: still something that is somewhat kept behind.

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Speaker 1: Closed doors, and I can get it.

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Speaker 4: For some people, it's a personal experience, but also what

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Speaker 4: we're going to be talking about today, it feels lonely,

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Speaker 4: like if I'm struggling with it and nobody else is

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Speaker 4: talking about it and there aren't resources to go to

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Speaker 4: for it. Does that mean that it's a me thing

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Speaker 4: or is this a thing that other people might go

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Speaker 4: through as well?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, obviously, you know, I've built a business.

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Speaker 3: I didn't know I was building a business. I thought

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Speaker 3: I was. I knew I wasn't alone, but I didn't

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Speaker 3: know it would be this much of a need. You know.

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Speaker 3: I knew there was a gap because I needed it.

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Speaker 3: I wanted it. It didn't exist.

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Speaker 2: I would have happily applied to come work it readiness

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Speaker 2: counseling if it had existed, you know, but it wasn't

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Speaker 2: a thing. And so you're right, it's one of those

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Speaker 2: things that it's actually extremely common. You know, one and

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Speaker 2: four have a miscarriage, one and eight go through in fertility,

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Speaker 2: about twenty percent of women are going to get a

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Speaker 2: perionatal mood disorder. You know, So following childbirth, one in

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Speaker 2: a hundred births is stillborn. You know, there's just significant

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Speaker 2: and hugely emotional things that we were categorizing as a

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Speaker 2: natural part of life, that that we've capsuleized into natural

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Speaker 2: meaning you should know what to do, and of course

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Speaker 2: you don't. You've never gone through that before. You know,

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Speaker 2: how would any human know how to handle these things?

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Speaker 2: And so yeah, you know, like I said, even when

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Speaker 2: it goes well and it goes right, it's extremely stressful

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Speaker 2: and very disruptive to your relationships and your life. So

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Speaker 2: to be able to give someone the tools to not

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Speaker 2: just successfully survive it, but to actually hold space for

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Speaker 2: the sacred part of enjoying it and being able to

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Speaker 2: free up their capacity to be able to have it

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Speaker 2: enriched their relationship with other people around them, I mean.

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Speaker 3: That's the human experience that we want, right.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, And as you're speaking, I was thinking pregnancy, starting

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Speaker 4: a family, everything that goes into that is such a

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Speaker 4: huge life change. Pregnancy, starting a family, everything that goes

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Speaker 4: into that is such.

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Speaker 1: A huge life change. And I'm getting married in February.

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Speaker 3: Oh congratulations, thank you.

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Speaker 1: But that is much easier for me to think about

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Speaker 1: it and for me to go through.

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Speaker 4: I'm like, not much is gonna change things are gonna change,

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Speaker 4: and I don't know all the changes that will come,

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Speaker 4: but when I think about starting a family, I'm like,

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Speaker 4: that is when so much is going to have to shift.

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Speaker 1: It is such a big deal.

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Speaker 4: And even if you're excited about it, even if it

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Speaker 4: is something you want.

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Speaker 2: At least you know your fiance and you get to

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Speaker 2: pick him. You don't get to choose your baby, you know.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, or how yeah, or I don't know what to

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Speaker 1: expect at all.

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Speaker 4: So I just think there's so much power and like,

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Speaker 4: even if this is something you want and it's something

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Speaker 4: that is excited, it still is such a huge deal.

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Speaker 4: And if there are any feelings that are needed to

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Speaker 4: be processed, there should be a space for you to

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Speaker 4: process that. And it doesn't mean that like you're going

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Speaker 4: to be a bad mom or you shouldn't have kids.

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Speaker 2: Oh gosh, No, I know you're a good mom. If

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Speaker 2: you walk in my door because you're here, you care, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: like just showing up and knowing like I kind of

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Speaker 2: need help. I'm not sure what I'm doing. Awesome, you

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Speaker 2: are step one into parenthood.

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Speaker 3: Welcome.

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Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, yeah, every journey is different, so it's great.

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Speaker 4: We could talk about so much like I was saying,

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Speaker 4: you could probably we could do a series, and you

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Speaker 4: could be on this podcast for one year straight.

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Speaker 3: There's a lot.

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Speaker 4: What we're going to do today, though, is we're going

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Speaker 4: to talk about something that we haven't.

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Speaker 1: We've talked about a lot, but not in this light

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Speaker 1: on this podcast.

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Speaker 4: So most of you know that I specialize in eating disorders,

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Speaker 4: and I do a lot of work with body image

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Speaker 4: and talk about it.

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Speaker 1: All day long.

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Speaker 4: And I do have some clients that we have talked

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Speaker 4: about that process going through before you even get pregnant,

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Speaker 4: during pregnancy, and then afterwards and then the years to come,

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Speaker 4: but we have never sat down and talked about this

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Speaker 4: on the podcast and had a conversation specifically for those

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Speaker 4: in this stage of life. And so I would like

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Speaker 4: to focus on that today with you and hear some

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Speaker 4: of your experience and what you've learned and what you

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Speaker 4: have come to know about this very process. Because body

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Speaker 4: image is tough enough. Yeah, just out there on your

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Speaker 4: own dealing with life going perfectly, everything is, you know

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Speaker 4: what to expect all of that. And so when somebody

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Speaker 4: prepares to try to conceive, or when somebody does get pregnant,

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Speaker 4: or when somebody does get birth. I would love to

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Speaker 4: hear from your perspective how you have seen that rattle

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Speaker 4: people who might already have body image issues or people

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Speaker 4: who have never thought about that before. How has that

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Speaker 4: impact the person going through that process.

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Speaker 2: It's massive, right, because it's you know, your body is

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Speaker 2: the one thing you can't like get out of. You

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Speaker 2: can alter it sort of, but you can't change it.

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Speaker 2: Like you are your body. You're inside it at all times.

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Speaker 2: And as silly and basic as that is to say,

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Speaker 2: you know, I think the first thing is that we

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Speaker 2: have taught our society that everyone we're raising that if

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Speaker 2: you have sex, you'll get pregnant, and that everyone can

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Speaker 2: get pregnant and then you'll know what to do once.

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Speaker 3: The baby's here. Right, So it's like a triple threat.

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Speaker 2: Like all wrong, all wrong from the get go right,

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Speaker 2: and we're you know, usually making these statements out of

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Speaker 2: fear and protection and not out of actually empowerment and knowledge.

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Speaker 3: And so to really kind of, I mean.

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Speaker 2: Baseline, accept the fact that you know, if you're a

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Speaker 2: grown up listening to this, like you don't know, you

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Speaker 2: don't necessarily know if your body is capable of conceiving

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Speaker 2: or carrying or and so it really kind of starts

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Speaker 2: with even being able to accept like what's ahead, you know,

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Speaker 2: like and we all kind of come in with a

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Speaker 2: preconception that it will go well and that I will

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Speaker 2: you know, the expectations are already set for how it

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Speaker 2: will go, how long it will take, and how successful

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Speaker 2: it will be. And when it isn't that, And I

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Speaker 2: mean at any point along in that journey, which it

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Speaker 2: isn't that. So even if everything goes right and everybody's

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Speaker 2: healthy in the end, there's still something It could be

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Speaker 2: some expectation that you held on too that was just

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Speaker 2: higher and probably unattainable, and you kind of set yourself up.

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Speaker 2: So that's really the main thing with you know, when

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Speaker 2: it comes to body image, is just kind of evaluating

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Speaker 2: and taking inventory from the beginning. What are my expectations here,

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Speaker 2: what do I think my body is gonna do? And

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Speaker 2: how important is that to me if that does or

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Speaker 2: doesn't happen.

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Speaker 4: You know what is fascinating about how you answered that

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Speaker 4: question is it is I will say for me, when

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Speaker 4: I think about body image issues from the perspective of

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Speaker 4: trying to get pregnant and go through pregnancy, I think

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Speaker 4: of the way the body is changing how.

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Speaker 3: It looks, right, you think big tummy right?

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Speaker 4: Yep, yes, yes, you are bringing up such a important

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Speaker 4: point that the way our body responds or does what

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Speaker 4: it does is going to affect.

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Speaker 1: How we view our body.

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Speaker 4: Yes, if there are any issues, which I love you

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Speaker 4: saying it took a year to get pregnant. It doesn't

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Speaker 4: sound like a lot, but like, I can't imagine what

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Speaker 4: that year is like. That sounds like a long time

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Speaker 4: in the thoughts that go through your mind as you're like, okay,

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Speaker 4: another month goes by. They told me in high school,

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Speaker 4: don't have sex because you'll get pregnant and die on

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Speaker 4: mean girls, Like I thought that that's how it was

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Speaker 4: supposed to go.

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Speaker 1: And it's not going this way. So what's wrong with me?

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Speaker 1: And what? And now I'm angry at my body?

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Speaker 2: Yep, yep, not functioning. We're used to taking our bodies

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Speaker 2: for granted, right, which is kind of the counter to

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Speaker 2: not appreciating my body the way it looks. Right, So

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Speaker 2: it's like, well, when it doesn't look the way I

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Speaker 2: want it to, at least I have function. At least

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Speaker 2: I can say thank you arms for carrying this, thank

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Speaker 2: you hands, thank you feet, like we can always get

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Speaker 2: back down to basics when it comes to function. When

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Speaker 2: your body doesn't function in the way you want it

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Speaker 2: to or on the timeline you want it to. Now

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Speaker 2: we have a whole new value system to hate. We

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Speaker 2: have a whole new measure of worthiness that challenges us.

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Speaker 2: And that's just getting pregnant. So that's even just like

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Speaker 2: step one, right, because you're right, the mind goes to

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Speaker 2: culturally in society. It jumps to the social media picture

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Speaker 2: of four weeks postpartum, back to skinny jeans right when

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Speaker 2: you even say, like postpartum body image, that's where we go,

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Speaker 2: and it's like, oh, that's that is winning the lottery,

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Speaker 2: Like it's like that is the least of our problems here,

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Speaker 2: you know, And it goes all the way back to like,

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Speaker 2: how do I even think my body will function? And

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Speaker 2: can I stay in this body and accept this body

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Speaker 2: on the very baseline level of even getting to know

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Speaker 2: what's happening on the inside that I can't even see.

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Speaker 2: And it's amazing when you you know, work with people

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Speaker 2: who've gone through loss, have gone through infertility. Everyone will

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Speaker 2: take the extra thirty pounds that comes with pregnancy and

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Speaker 2: when you start to get a gain a perspective of

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Speaker 2: that deep sacred appreciation for that the body is just

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Speaker 2: a conduit that it even can function in a way to.

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Speaker 3: Provide new life.

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Speaker 2: Whoa Like, now we're on a whole other level of

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Speaker 2: like who cares about the skinny genes? You know, it's like,

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Speaker 2: this is crazy, miraculous, awesome.

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Speaker 4: When you have a client, when you have something that

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Speaker 4: comes in Because I'm assuming there's some people who are

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Speaker 4: listening to this that are like, I'm in that space

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Speaker 4: where I thought it was going to be easy because

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Speaker 4: people told me it was going to be easy and

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Speaker 4: it was easy for my friends or it was easy

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Speaker 4: for my sister or whoever it is, and it's it's not,

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Speaker 4: and I feel like there's something wrong with me. And

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Speaker 4: now I'm I'm almost like fighting a war within myself.

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Speaker 4: But also I'm like need to be on the same

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Speaker 4: team as my body in order for this to actually

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Speaker 4: give me myself a shot. What do you offer to

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Speaker 4: those people who come into your office with that, because

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Speaker 4: what we can't do I mean, I guess we could

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Speaker 4: do it. We can't say well, it's gonna be okay,

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Speaker 4: like everything's gonna and the end it's just it's gonna

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Speaker 4: be okay. That's can be not so helpful, and I

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Speaker 4: think that's a lot of the feedback we get in

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Speaker 4: the world. It's like, just keep trying, and I mean,

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Speaker 4: there's so many things I want to say, maybe you

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Speaker 4: weren't maybe maybe you weren't meant to be a mother,

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Speaker 4: and like, I think we get a lot of it.

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Speaker 3: With these unhelpful platitudes. You know, that's yeah, you know.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I think it kind of comes down to

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Speaker 2: you are more than your fertility journey. You are more

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Speaker 2: than your motherhood journey. You are more than your pregnancy journey.

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Speaker 2: And I don't know how your family will be built

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Speaker 2: or on what timeline, but I know you're here and

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Speaker 2: you matter, and you are worthy. And there is pain

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Speaker 2: and suffering in this life that I don't believe needs

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Speaker 2: explanation all the time. We would love it, We think

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Speaker 2: it would help us if we knew the explanation. But conception, pregnancy,

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Speaker 2: even postpartum, these are the things that like you can't

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Speaker 2: achieve your way out of them. I can't give you

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Speaker 2: a checklist that's going to say like, Okay, do these

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Speaker 2: things and you won't have postpartum depression, or that this

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Speaker 2: will get you pregnant. Right, It's like there's tons of

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Speaker 2: resources and tools out there. By the way, if anyone

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Speaker 2: guarantees those things they're lying to you. You know, it's

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Speaker 2: like I've just seen too many journeys. If I knew

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Speaker 2: a guarantee, I would love to make it, you know.

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Speaker 2: But it's one of those things that every person is

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Speaker 2: so much more than the reason they walk in my

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Speaker 2: door or sat on the couch, you know. And you

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Speaker 2: see this with your own clients. I'm certain you know

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Speaker 2: you're more than your eating disorder, You're more than your diagnosis.

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Speaker 2: And so tapping into what is that, tell me about her,

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Speaker 2: tell me about all these other things. And I really

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Speaker 2: truly believe in any season of waiting. I don't know why,

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Speaker 2: but I know it's not feudle and we may not

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Speaker 2: know why for.

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Speaker 3: A long time.

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Speaker 2: But just because it's not the way we wanted it

396
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Speaker 2: to go or the timeline that we wanted doesn't mean

397
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Speaker 2: just fast forward through it. This time doesn't matter, and

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Speaker 2: so it's a lot of meaning making in the present. Right,

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Speaker 2: Can you use this time to get communication skills with

400
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Speaker 2: your with your partner? Can we use this time to

401
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Speaker 2: take that trip you always wanted to go on. And again,

402
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Speaker 2: I know these are plan b. I know these are

403
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Speaker 2: not like what we want. But just because you don't

404
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Speaker 2: have what you want right now doesn't mean.

405
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Speaker 3: You get nothing.

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Speaker 2: So that's the beauty of working in like the something.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, oh that's so good.

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Speaker 4: Just because you don't have what you want right now

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Speaker 4: doesn't mean you get nothing. I want everybody like write

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Speaker 4: that down and put it on their mirror or like

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Speaker 4: on the visor of their car where they can see it,

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Speaker 4: because that is actually a very hard concept, and when

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Speaker 4: you're in the not getting what I want, yep, is

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Speaker 4: a very hard concept, and sometimes it can feel I

415
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Speaker 4: think what comes to mind is like I don't want

416
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Speaker 4: a consolation prize. But it doesn't even necessarily mean you're

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Speaker 4: getting a consolation prize.

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Speaker 1: There's just other stuff.

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Speaker 4: Going on and happening in your life, correct, that is

420
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Speaker 4: outside of that thing. And I can hold space for

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Speaker 4: that sadness, and I can grieve with you and be

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Speaker 4: in that you aren't having the life you want right

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Speaker 4: now that you imagined, and at the same time we

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Speaker 4: can look at all these other things that I think

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Speaker 4: if you look back later, you would be wait a second.

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Speaker 1: I'm so glad I didn't miss that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and when you're in it, of course, it only

428
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Speaker 2: feels negative, you know. It's when you're when you're in

429
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Speaker 2: that pit, there's no way you can say, oh, this

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Speaker 2: is the best thing that ever happened to me, you know.

431
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Speaker 2: It's like, but I don't know, it isn't no one does,

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Speaker 2: you know, And so it's one of those things like

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Speaker 2: I'm not going to point out any silver lining because

434
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Speaker 2: right now I know it totally sucks for you. Yeah,

435
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Speaker 2: but I'm not going to say like it will never

436
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Speaker 2: be Like I don't know that this isn't shaping you

437
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Speaker 2: into the mom your kid needs you to be. I

438
00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:41,000
Speaker 2: don't know, this isn't shaping you into the partner your

439
00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:43,560
Speaker 2: partner needs you to be, you know, or the friend

440
00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:45,879
Speaker 2: or you know that you're not supposed to write a

441
00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:47,600
Speaker 2: book about this someday.

442
00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:48,000
Speaker 3: Like I don't know.

443
00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:50,960
Speaker 2: I don't know, but I'm here for it, and I

444
00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:54,680
Speaker 2: know your worthiness is not depleted because of it. Your

445
00:23:54,680 --> 00:23:58,760
Speaker 2: identity is not defined because of it, and in fact,

446
00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:02,000
Speaker 2: you will make meaning of it whether you like it

447
00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:02,280
Speaker 2: or not.

448
00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:03,119
Speaker 3: It could be.

449
00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:06,960
Speaker 2: Bad, right, but you do have some semblance of control

450
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:09,560
Speaker 2: over how you actually use this in your life.

451
00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:11,880
Speaker 4: Which is also a good reminder is we don't have

452
00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:14,119
Speaker 4: to go one way. If it feels we don't have to,

453
00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:16,920
Speaker 4: then okay, well I'm going to make this now. Where

454
00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:19,920
Speaker 4: my life turns left and everything goes downhill, it doesn't

455
00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:20,600
Speaker 4: have to be that way.

456
00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:22,879
Speaker 1: It might be difficult to turn right, but it doesn't

457
00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:23,600
Speaker 1: have to be that way.

458
00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:30,320
Speaker 3: Yep, Okay.

459
00:24:30,359 --> 00:24:32,760
Speaker 4: I want to talk about more going more towards the like,

460
00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:36,320
Speaker 4: the like physical uh, what my body looks like, body

461
00:24:36,359 --> 00:24:39,720
Speaker 4: image stuff. So I think most people can agree, and

462
00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:42,200
Speaker 4: if they don't agree, please email me because I would

463
00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:47,360
Speaker 4: love to hear your experience that the culturally societally, what

464
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:51,800
Speaker 4: we are presented with is that you get pregnant, your

465
00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:55,399
Speaker 4: body changes, you gain a lot of weight, you have

466
00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:58,879
Speaker 4: a baby, and then you should be able to do

467
00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:00,800
Speaker 4: what you need to do in or to get back

468
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:02,760
Speaker 4: to what you looked like before you had this baby.

469
00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:03,520
Speaker 3: Right.

470
00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:06,199
Speaker 4: So, I am not a doctor by any means, and

471
00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:08,560
Speaker 4: I have no idea. I've never gone through pregnancy. I

472
00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:12,919
Speaker 4: have no idea what happens when you get all of

473
00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:15,720
Speaker 4: the there. I learned something every day talking to my

474
00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:17,199
Speaker 4: friends and HAM members that are part. I'm like, what

475
00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:17,680
Speaker 4: you bought?

476
00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:18,439
Speaker 1: You did? What this?

477
00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:18,679
Speaker 3: What?

478
00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:19,480
Speaker 1: Huh?

479
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:25,520
Speaker 4: So it is kind of a wild idea now versus

480
00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:27,359
Speaker 4: when I was younger and I didn't know as much

481
00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:32,760
Speaker 4: to think that I can have the same thing after

482
00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:38,000
Speaker 4: I go through this insane transformation trauma.

483
00:25:38,119 --> 00:25:41,119
Speaker 3: Yes, totally, and you're not meant to you know.

484
00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:43,680
Speaker 2: I mean again, it's like, now, this isn't to say,

485
00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:49,040
Speaker 2: you know, there aren't legitimately healthy women whose bodies do

486
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:54,600
Speaker 2: bounce back quote unquote right. So there are unicorns that exist.

487
00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:59,239
Speaker 2: I've seen some of them, but I think stereotypically, you know,

488
00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:03,320
Speaker 2: your average which mom is not a supermodel, is not

489
00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:07,600
Speaker 2: getting back into the same genes postpartum, at least not

490
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:10,679
Speaker 2: within the first usually nine to twelve months. You know,

491
00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:15,160
Speaker 2: like it takes nine plus months to grow the baby,

492
00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:18,760
Speaker 2: it should definitely take that long to go back. And

493
00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:23,359
Speaker 2: there's so many factors included, one huge one being breastfeeding.

494
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:26,720
Speaker 2: I'm a big believer fed is best. I do not

495
00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:29,640
Speaker 2: care if you breastfeed your baby at all. I care

496
00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:32,280
Speaker 2: that you feed the baby, you know, that's it. But

497
00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:37,800
Speaker 2: it does have an impact on your hormones, your metabolism.

498
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:40,640
Speaker 2: It can kind of go in either direction. I've had

499
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:44,520
Speaker 2: clients who, you know, their bodies responded by keeping weight

500
00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:48,199
Speaker 2: on while breastfeeding because it was like, our body is

501
00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:51,000
Speaker 2: nourishing another human. We're not letting go of any ounce

502
00:26:51,119 --> 00:26:54,679
Speaker 2: of anything, you know. I've had others that that was

503
00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:57,040
Speaker 2: the magic solution that the you know, they had a

504
00:26:57,080 --> 00:26:59,959
Speaker 2: big supply and they were able to burn more calorie

505
00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:03,680
Speaker 2: that way. And every time you nurse, your uterus contracts

506
00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:06,600
Speaker 2: and so it actually helps those muscles come back together.

507
00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:11,080
Speaker 2: But your how big your baby is, how strong your

508
00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:15,040
Speaker 2: core is before a giving birth to the baby, how

509
00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:17,639
Speaker 2: your muscles react to that, how it affects your lower back,

510
00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:22,600
Speaker 2: Your body and pregnancy is filled with this hormone called relaxing,

511
00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:27,600
Speaker 2: which literally relaxes the elasticity of your muscles, which is

512
00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:32,120
Speaker 2: why your ligaments around your sides and obliques are able.

513
00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:33,040
Speaker 3: To expand, you know.

514
00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:37,560
Speaker 2: And then if you you know, have a good vaginal birth,

515
00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:39,399
Speaker 2: that's going to be different than a sea section.

516
00:27:40,359 --> 00:27:41,600
Speaker 3: You're going to recover different.

517
00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:44,040
Speaker 2: You need to expect different things of your body of

518
00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:45,600
Speaker 2: recovering in those ways.

519
00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:48,040
Speaker 3: So it is the wild.

520
00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:51,359
Speaker 2: West when it comes to the spectrum of what is normal,

521
00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:54,600
Speaker 2: what's a normal birth anymore. You know, it's like a

522
00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:57,879
Speaker 2: healthy baby is the goal, right and a healthy mom

523
00:27:58,080 --> 00:27:59,840
Speaker 2: and there's a lot of ways to get there, and

524
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:03,879
Speaker 2: so we're here to you know, support your choices in

525
00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:06,800
Speaker 2: what that looks like best for you and best for

526
00:28:07,119 --> 00:28:10,720
Speaker 2: like you in your context. And I think that's the thing,

527
00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:14,000
Speaker 2: is like, am I looking at Instagram and is this

528
00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:17,000
Speaker 2: a person who has her meals made for her or

529
00:28:17,080 --> 00:28:19,320
Speaker 2: access to a gym every day?

530
00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:21,440
Speaker 3: Or is her job to look this way?

531
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:24,439
Speaker 2: Or you know, there's there's just so much behind the

532
00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:28,159
Speaker 2: scenes that you are probably they're not showing you. You know,

533
00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:32,360
Speaker 2: is this even photoshopped? Is this even a not real image?

534
00:28:32,440 --> 00:28:35,360
Speaker 2: You know, there's so many things, And am I comparing

535
00:28:35,359 --> 00:28:39,160
Speaker 2: myself to that in my own context as a busy

536
00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:42,920
Speaker 2: working person. You know, maybe you don't have access to

537
00:28:43,600 --> 00:28:46,320
Speaker 2: that organic, healthy food, maybe you don't have access to

538
00:28:46,360 --> 00:28:48,600
Speaker 2: a gym or time for it, or it's not a

539
00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:52,600
Speaker 2: priority for you. You are your own person, right and so

540
00:28:53,280 --> 00:28:56,400
Speaker 2: what you want out of that experience has to align

541
00:28:56,560 --> 00:28:58,440
Speaker 2: with your expectations for yourself.

542
00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:03,360
Speaker 4: Afterward, the word priority felt very important in that what

543
00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:07,240
Speaker 4: you just said, because one I heard you say, the

544
00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:12,080
Speaker 4: norm is not to be fitting in the same pants

545
00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:15,080
Speaker 4: you were wearing before you got pregnant a month after

546
00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:15,920
Speaker 4: you give birth.

547
00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:16,920
Speaker 1: That's not the norm.

548
00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:20,760
Speaker 4: That's the exception, and it happens, and it happens sometimes

549
00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:23,200
Speaker 4: because of the things you said we have. Maybe that's

550
00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:25,640
Speaker 4: my job, and I have people cooking my meals. I

551
00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:28,760
Speaker 4: my job is to work out. Maybe I'm an athlete,

552
00:29:28,760 --> 00:29:29,920
Speaker 4: who any of that.

553
00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:30,640
Speaker 3: Yep.

554
00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:34,600
Speaker 4: Sometimes that's the reason, and sometimes it's just that's the

555
00:29:34,600 --> 00:29:37,080
Speaker 4: way that person's body is. And it doesn't mean that

556
00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:39,560
Speaker 4: their body is better than yours or it works better.

557
00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:42,240
Speaker 4: It just is the way it is. It's the same

558
00:29:42,320 --> 00:29:45,040
Speaker 4: reason that me and you could eat the same foods

559
00:29:45,040 --> 00:29:46,680
Speaker 4: every day and had the same workout plan and we

560
00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:49,840
Speaker 4: could look totally different. Yep. It doesn't mean that your

561
00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:53,200
Speaker 4: body's better in mine is. It's just different. It's beautiful, Yeah,

562
00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:57,080
Speaker 4: and can we honor that versus we can trace this

563
00:29:57,200 --> 00:30:00,840
Speaker 4: back to where originated. But we have found this one

564
00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:05,880
Speaker 4: ideal that we're all supposed to strive for. But how

565
00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:09,520
Speaker 4: does that make sense? Because we are all so different,

566
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:14,200
Speaker 4: even in the way we conceive, even in the way

567
00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:17,480
Speaker 4: we give birth, even the way if we can breastfeet,

568
00:30:17,520 --> 00:30:19,040
Speaker 4: if we if we can if we want to. If

569
00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:21,320
Speaker 4: we not, we're so different, so how would we all

570
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:22,720
Speaker 4: get that same result.

571
00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:23,840
Speaker 1: The same way?

572
00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:27,920
Speaker 4: And then I heard you say priority, and that is

573
00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:32,520
Speaker 4: like a siren. If it is not your priority to

574
00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:34,600
Speaker 4: be in the gym every day, if it is not

575
00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:39,040
Speaker 4: your priority to make sure every meal you eat you

576
00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:41,800
Speaker 4: cook yourself and it's with fresh food from a farmer's

577
00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:45,720
Speaker 4: if that's not your priority, that feels okay to me.

578
00:30:45,800 --> 00:30:47,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's your choice, own it.

579
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:51,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, if it's not your priority for your body to

580
00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:53,560
Speaker 4: look And I think that we take we get some

581
00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:54,920
Speaker 4: agency taken away from.

582
00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:57,680
Speaker 1: Us from culture, Like culture says this.

583
00:30:57,840 --> 00:30:58,040
Speaker 4: Yeah.

584
00:30:58,360 --> 00:30:58,680
Speaker 1: Yeah.

585
00:30:58,840 --> 00:31:01,440
Speaker 4: If culture says you should look this person didn or

586
00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:03,840
Speaker 4: this person did it, or we glamorize and we give

587
00:31:03,880 --> 00:31:08,120
Speaker 4: attention to the people that do that, then it tells us, well,

588
00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:10,800
Speaker 4: that should be what I want. But we have we

589
00:31:10,880 --> 00:31:13,800
Speaker 4: sat down and asked ourselves, Wait, what do you want

590
00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:17,120
Speaker 4: the beginning stages of motherhood to look like for you?

591
00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:18,120
Speaker 3: Yeah?

592
00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:22,080
Speaker 2: And it's essential because it shapes your expectations, you know,

593
00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:24,640
Speaker 2: because if you say, like, okay, well that's not a

594
00:31:24,640 --> 00:31:27,600
Speaker 2: priority for me, but my expectation is that my body

595
00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:32,280
Speaker 2: will look that way. Eh, you're set yourself up for failure,

596
00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:35,320
Speaker 2: you know. And we see that even along the way

597
00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:38,440
Speaker 2: with how sick you are in the first trimester, or

598
00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:42,680
Speaker 2: if you're disappointed by what gender baby you're having, or

599
00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:46,000
Speaker 2: the biggest one is the labor and delivery experience. If

600
00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:47,920
Speaker 2: that went off the rails and it ended in a

601
00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:51,760
Speaker 2: way that you did not have planned, then you failed,

602
00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:54,760
Speaker 2: right And again, so much of that is held in

603
00:31:55,840 --> 00:31:59,520
Speaker 2: expectations of course you didn't fail. And on the outside

604
00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:03,560
Speaker 2: we can see how kind of ridiculous that is, you know,

605
00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:06,760
Speaker 2: when we are just talking about how miraculous and amazing

606
00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:08,160
Speaker 2: your body is, you know.

607
00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:09,680
Speaker 3: That's like are you kidding?

608
00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:12,280
Speaker 2: Like how could you think of yourself as anything less

609
00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:16,240
Speaker 2: than super and amazing and like literally superhuman, you know.

610
00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:20,800
Speaker 2: And and yeah, and I and I say that from experience.

611
00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:22,960
Speaker 2: I have had four c sections.

612
00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:26,040
Speaker 3: It's awesome. I feel great about it, you know.

613
00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:28,640
Speaker 2: So it's like it's one of those things that I'm

614
00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:31,120
Speaker 2: not sitting here with a life experience where I got

615
00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:34,120
Speaker 2: my perfect water berth and everything was easy or something,

616
00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:37,760
Speaker 2: you know, And so I just want to like own that, like, no,

617
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:42,040
Speaker 2: I can absolutely believe this and it was super hard.

618
00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:43,560
Speaker 1: I'm curious.

619
00:32:44,120 --> 00:32:49,360
Speaker 4: I've had a couple friends who had plans to have

620
00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:52,600
Speaker 4: the very natural I don't know if I've had a

621
00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:57,560
Speaker 4: friend have a water berth, but of very natural, no medicine,

622
00:32:57,920 --> 00:32:59,520
Speaker 4: just is what we're going to do. We have the

623
00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:01,720
Speaker 4: birthing plan that da da da da. We work on

624
00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:04,840
Speaker 4: it the whole and then it gets to delivery time

625
00:33:04,880 --> 00:33:07,640
Speaker 4: and it's like, sorry, if you want this baby, and

626
00:33:07,680 --> 00:33:09,600
Speaker 4: if you want to be able to hold this baby,

627
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:10,640
Speaker 4: we have.

628
00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:11,880
Speaker 1: To make some decisions right now.

629
00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:15,680
Speaker 4: And in that process, you don't from I haven't gone

630
00:33:15,680 --> 00:33:18,120
Speaker 4: through it, through it, but from what I've heard, you

631
00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:19,959
Speaker 4: don't have time to process that.

632
00:33:20,280 --> 00:33:20,680
Speaker 1: It is.

633
00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:25,000
Speaker 4: We're doing this, let's go, and then thirty seconds then

634
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:26,360
Speaker 4: you have a baby in your hand kind of thing.

635
00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:30,640
Speaker 2: Sometimes, yeah, sometimes, if need be, it can be minutes.

636
00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:33,520
Speaker 2: I mean, if it's an emergency, the average is like

637
00:33:33,560 --> 00:33:37,520
Speaker 2: eight minutes from like zero to go, and that's an emergency.

638
00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:40,680
Speaker 3: But even if it isn't an emergency.

639
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:44,360
Speaker 2: If it's like this is not happening, there's kind of

640
00:33:44,440 --> 00:33:46,800
Speaker 2: some risk for infection, or the baby's the heart rate

641
00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:48,920
Speaker 2: is accelerated, or you know, there's a lot of good

642
00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:51,960
Speaker 2: reasons that it adds up to not looking like it's

643
00:33:51,960 --> 00:33:57,760
Speaker 2: gonna work out naturally. Then even then once you say okay,

644
00:33:58,200 --> 00:34:01,200
Speaker 2: it's about twenty minutes in the and then you know,

645
00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:03,720
Speaker 2: so it's still it's very fast, very fast.

646
00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:06,560
Speaker 4: And there's a couple things that come up. And I'm

647
00:34:06,560 --> 00:34:09,120
Speaker 4: curious about your experience and just your experience as a

648
00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:13,160
Speaker 4: therapist as well, when you have your heart set on

649
00:34:13,239 --> 00:34:17,920
Speaker 4: something like that and you work so hard. Yeah, because

650
00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:21,479
Speaker 4: I have seen people work so hard to be able

651
00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:23,160
Speaker 4: to get to the place where they can do that

652
00:34:23,200 --> 00:34:27,760
Speaker 4: and then their body says, hey, this isn't going as planned.

653
00:34:28,120 --> 00:34:32,720
Speaker 4: There is another option. I can't imagine that that feels

654
00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:35,840
Speaker 4: similar to the feeling of my bodies against you, and

655
00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:37,920
Speaker 4: I can't conceive it's different.

656
00:34:37,960 --> 00:34:39,600
Speaker 1: But that's saying like my body's letting.

657
00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:42,160
Speaker 2: Me down, devastating. I mean, it is one of the

658
00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:45,960
Speaker 2: things we counsel quite often. You know that it's easier

659
00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:48,839
Speaker 2: if we know ahead of time and you're pregnant and

660
00:34:48,880 --> 00:34:51,840
Speaker 2: we're talking about those expectations and we can get a

661
00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:53,040
Speaker 2: little wiggle room of.

662
00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:55,480
Speaker 3: Like just education, right because.

663
00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:58,640
Speaker 2: One of the flaws in birth education is that we

664
00:34:58,680 --> 00:35:02,480
Speaker 2: don't even tell moms any thing about c sections, and

665
00:35:02,560 --> 00:35:05,440
Speaker 2: so it's like, oh, we don't want that to happen,

666
00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:07,439
Speaker 2: and I don't want to learn anything about it because

667
00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:10,640
Speaker 2: that's scary, right, And so a lot of birth education

668
00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:15,600
Speaker 2: isn't at all like and so I definitely I think

669
00:35:15,640 --> 00:35:18,680
Speaker 2: knowledge is power. I think it makes it less scary

670
00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:21,879
Speaker 2: to just even know, like, hey, if this happens, we've

671
00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:25,319
Speaker 2: we're here, we got this, this is the plan. If

672
00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:27,680
Speaker 2: the plan needs a change, we know what to do,

673
00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:32,160
Speaker 2: and it's way less scary if we know those options, right,

674
00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:35,200
Speaker 2: and then to be able to actually assign proper value

675
00:35:35,320 --> 00:35:39,759
Speaker 2: to like what is the moment you really want? You know,

676
00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:43,040
Speaker 2: like is it pushing the baby out? Or is it

677
00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:45,640
Speaker 2: holding the baby after? What are some of these things

678
00:35:45,680 --> 00:35:50,360
Speaker 2: that we can like actually take as empowering moments for you?

679
00:35:51,239 --> 00:35:53,600
Speaker 2: And you may not get all of them, you know,

680
00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:57,400
Speaker 2: but we can at least start with the ideal and

681
00:35:57,560 --> 00:36:01,799
Speaker 2: build some expectation options around that of how that might

682
00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:04,360
Speaker 2: be diverted for better or for worse.

683
00:36:05,880 --> 00:36:10,080
Speaker 4: That's interesting that you get like nothing, because my growing

684
00:36:10,200 --> 00:36:13,399
Speaker 4: up I remember thinking and hearing if like somebody said

685
00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:13,920
Speaker 4: sea section.

686
00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:16,040
Speaker 1: I knew one person that had one, it was like

687
00:36:16,239 --> 00:36:18,560
Speaker 1: they had to have a sea section.

688
00:36:18,560 --> 00:36:22,040
Speaker 3: Right, oh my gosh.

689
00:36:22,120 --> 00:36:24,719
Speaker 4: But but it was also said in the way of like,

690
00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:33,080
Speaker 4: oh god, like the very elusive and bad and when yeah,

691
00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:36,000
Speaker 4: it is a surgery, and the what is crazy to

692
00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:38,120
Speaker 4: me is that you're like fully awake during it, and

693
00:36:38,239 --> 00:36:41,600
Speaker 4: it does sound scary. At the same time, if I

694
00:36:41,600 --> 00:36:44,440
Speaker 4: were to count my close friends and family members that

695
00:36:44,480 --> 00:36:47,960
Speaker 4: have given birth recently, I think half or more have

696
00:36:48,040 --> 00:36:49,120
Speaker 4: had sea sections.

697
00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:53,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, the stats are around a third at most American hospitals,

698
00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:55,600
Speaker 2: so it's still fairly high.

699
00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:56,160
Speaker 3: Yeah.

700
00:36:56,239 --> 00:36:59,359
Speaker 4: Yeah, so it's not as like oh, so and so

701
00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:02,840
Speaker 4: out of season, right, you know, And I feel like

702
00:37:02,920 --> 00:37:06,360
Speaker 4: that's important. And if people had more education about what

703
00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:09,880
Speaker 4: really goes on and why somebody might choose to have

704
00:37:09,920 --> 00:37:12,000
Speaker 4: that or end up having that, I think that could

705
00:37:12,040 --> 00:37:12,480
Speaker 4: be very.

706
00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:18,880
Speaker 2: Helpful, Yes, and incredibly empowering. And again, we're just eliminating

707
00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:22,600
Speaker 2: the fear around it, you know, and also empowering you

708
00:37:22,640 --> 00:37:25,440
Speaker 2: with the information of all the options, all the.

709
00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:26,320
Speaker 3: Breathing, all that.

710
00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:28,360
Speaker 2: You know, there's a million ways to give birth, so

711
00:37:29,239 --> 00:37:32,440
Speaker 2: how we get the baby out is one component of

712
00:37:32,480 --> 00:37:38,120
Speaker 2: an incredibly beautiful visceral experience that your joy in it

713
00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:42,319
Speaker 2: can't just be contingent upon one very rigid way.

714
00:37:43,200 --> 00:37:44,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's what I.

715
00:37:44,600 --> 00:37:47,360
Speaker 2: Want to help people kind of expand it's like, yeah,

716
00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:51,120
Speaker 2: whether you carry differently and your body looks like you

717
00:37:51,120 --> 00:37:54,560
Speaker 2: didn't think it would or you don't or like whatever

718
00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:58,320
Speaker 2: the expectation is, can we get to a place of

719
00:37:58,760 --> 00:38:02,600
Speaker 2: acceptance and mean making that can actually offer you the

720
00:38:02,640 --> 00:38:06,120
Speaker 2: result of not just coming to peace with it, but

721
00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:09,160
Speaker 2: actually appreciating and being grateful for it.

722
00:38:09,400 --> 00:38:14,279
Speaker 4: When in good and successful. You can apply this to

723
00:38:14,520 --> 00:38:19,399
Speaker 4: many things can look very different. It has a lot

724
00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:21,759
Speaker 4: of different faces, as a lot of different shapes, and

725
00:38:22,719 --> 00:38:27,360
Speaker 4: you get to we get to decide what that actually

726
00:38:27,480 --> 00:38:31,239
Speaker 4: is for us and going back to just like I

727
00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:35,920
Speaker 4: keep thinking about body image, how we view our bodies postpartum.

728
00:38:36,760 --> 00:38:40,399
Speaker 4: Also let's not ignore how we view other people's how

729
00:38:40,440 --> 00:38:44,280
Speaker 4: we view other people's bodies, because how we are looking

730
00:38:44,320 --> 00:38:47,960
Speaker 4: at other people impacts how we also view ourselves. And

731
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:51,600
Speaker 4: so what we decide is good or right or successful

732
00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:54,719
Speaker 4: in other people, we are going to also it's going

733
00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:57,880
Speaker 4: to somehow come back to us and we get to

734
00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:00,560
Speaker 4: actually again going back to that agency, get to decide

735
00:39:00,560 --> 00:39:05,600
Speaker 4: what that is. I wonder when people come in to you, guys,

736
00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:07,359
Speaker 4: do you get a lot of like, I don't feel

737
00:39:07,360 --> 00:39:10,360
Speaker 4: like myself in that, like, this isn't my body.

738
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:11,239
Speaker 3: Yep.

739
00:39:11,920 --> 00:39:16,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, especially if there is a feeding issue. So if

740
00:39:16,920 --> 00:39:21,440
Speaker 2: you are pumping exclusively, or pumping or not sleeping, you know,

741
00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:26,000
Speaker 2: and or breastfeeding directly, where literally your breasts are food

742
00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:30,840
Speaker 2: for your child. The hormones and the prolactin that helps

743
00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:34,520
Speaker 2: make the milk in your body. It suppresses a lot

744
00:39:34,520 --> 00:39:37,319
Speaker 2: of other things such as libido, you know, and so

745
00:39:37,440 --> 00:39:41,759
Speaker 2: you're you're not feeling up for that. You know, you're

746
00:39:41,760 --> 00:39:44,400
Speaker 2: feeling touched out because your baby is literally on you

747
00:39:44,480 --> 00:39:47,600
Speaker 2: all day. So there's just a lot of weird like

748
00:39:48,200 --> 00:39:51,600
Speaker 2: and I think again expectation like, oh, once I get

749
00:39:51,640 --> 00:39:55,440
Speaker 2: this crazy alien out of my tommy, I'll feel like

750
00:39:55,560 --> 00:39:59,000
Speaker 2: myself again, right, And then it's like, oh no, now

751
00:39:59,040 --> 00:40:03,279
Speaker 2: I'm tethered to this cute creature and needed in a

752
00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:07,600
Speaker 2: whole other way. And my body is recovering, you know,

753
00:40:07,719 --> 00:40:10,560
Speaker 2: And so your tommy is jiggly and your boobs are

754
00:40:10,600 --> 00:40:12,840
Speaker 2: sagging and you know, and there's blood and milk.

755
00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:14,160
Speaker 3: Everywhere and the whole thing.

756
00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:18,399
Speaker 2: Girl, And it's one of these things that's like it's

757
00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:21,759
Speaker 2: so frank and steiny in the moment you know that

758
00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:24,520
Speaker 2: you're just sort of like caught off guard that like,

759
00:40:25,040 --> 00:40:28,480
Speaker 2: oh this is me, Like this is me and that

760
00:40:28,560 --> 00:40:33,080
Speaker 2: takes time. But it's like being compassionate with yourself and

761
00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:37,799
Speaker 2: allowing time as an element of healing to bring some

762
00:40:37,920 --> 00:40:39,520
Speaker 2: of that process back.

763
00:40:40,360 --> 00:40:43,839
Speaker 4: Yeah, but that's a great answer. The reason people don't

764
00:40:43,880 --> 00:40:47,040
Speaker 4: like that answer is we don't want it to take time, right, Well,

765
00:40:47,080 --> 00:40:49,920
Speaker 4: I want you, yeah, I want to be myself. I

766
00:40:49,920 --> 00:40:53,360
Speaker 4: waited nine months to feel myself again, or I've already

767
00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:55,520
Speaker 4: been in this for this amount of time or so

768
00:40:55,600 --> 00:40:56,799
Speaker 4: and so did it in this time.

769
00:40:56,840 --> 00:40:59,279
Speaker 1: We don't we don't want time with anything. If you think.

770
00:40:59,560 --> 00:41:02,080
Speaker 4: One of the things I see that comes up a

771
00:41:02,080 --> 00:41:06,240
Speaker 4: lot in the population that I work with is in relationships.

772
00:41:06,280 --> 00:41:07,360
Speaker 1: We don't want time.

773
00:41:07,520 --> 00:41:09,839
Speaker 4: We want to give everybody our life story in and

774
00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:12,640
Speaker 4: divulge our trauma and bond with this person that I

775
00:41:12,719 --> 00:41:18,000
Speaker 4: met yesterday. Like, we don't want time to be a

776
00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:22,040
Speaker 4: part of anything. And we can see where that comes from.

777
00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:24,239
Speaker 4: Our culture is very go go go do this, do that?

778
00:41:24,320 --> 00:41:26,120
Speaker 4: Change your mind now, you want this? Now there's this

779
00:41:26,320 --> 00:41:28,359
Speaker 4: over there that you might want. Go do that now.

780
00:41:28,680 --> 00:41:31,120
Speaker 4: It seems like we don't have it. But that's such

781
00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:36,040
Speaker 4: an important element that one you can't do anything about it,

782
00:41:36,120 --> 00:41:39,080
Speaker 4: like it just is, it is what it is, and

783
00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:41,200
Speaker 4: so how do we how in that space?

784
00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:43,880
Speaker 1: How do we learn how to sit? And like you

785
00:41:43,920 --> 00:41:45,960
Speaker 1: said earlier, just because.

786
00:41:45,680 --> 00:41:47,839
Speaker 4: You aren't at that space or just because you don't

787
00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:50,319
Speaker 4: have what you want right now, it doesn't mean there's

788
00:41:50,320 --> 00:41:52,560
Speaker 4: not stuff here that is happening that is good that

789
00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:57,360
Speaker 4: you can experience. I've known notice in my life, not

790
00:41:57,440 --> 00:42:01,800
Speaker 4: within pregnancies, but when I have had my eye on something.

791
00:42:02,400 --> 00:42:03,840
Speaker 4: Let's just I do this with like if I have

792
00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:05,520
Speaker 4: a vacation coming up, I'm like, I gotta hit to

793
00:42:05,520 --> 00:42:08,120
Speaker 4: the vacation d D. And then like three months go

794
00:42:08,200 --> 00:42:11,960
Speaker 4: by and I'm like, what happened? Like I've been had

795
00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:14,160
Speaker 4: my eye on this one thing, and I ignored all

796
00:42:14,280 --> 00:42:17,919
Speaker 4: the other stuff that was going on. And so there's

797
00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:20,640
Speaker 4: a lot of I can't even begin to imagine how

798
00:42:20,719 --> 00:42:25,480
Speaker 4: much stuff is happening. Yes, after you give birth to

799
00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:28,440
Speaker 4: a human being and you're watching it grow so much

800
00:42:28,520 --> 00:42:31,480
Speaker 4: every day and there's something new every day, there's so

801
00:42:31,680 --> 00:42:35,160
Speaker 4: much there to hold on to and focus on. I

802
00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:39,040
Speaker 4: would imagine, Yeah, that is outside of getting back to

803
00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:40,879
Speaker 4: our pre baby.

804
00:42:40,520 --> 00:42:43,439
Speaker 2: Body, yeah, and I will say, you know, a little

805
00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:46,960
Speaker 2: bit of grace that in it. You know, right after

806
00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:49,839
Speaker 2: you give birth, as you're recovering.

807
00:42:49,880 --> 00:42:51,920
Speaker 3: Your capacity is so shot.

808
00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:55,799
Speaker 2: I mean, like you are focused on the baby, you know,

809
00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:59,680
Speaker 2: like you're consumed with this new, beautiful creature. And so

810
00:43:00,239 --> 00:43:04,560
Speaker 2: there is some mostly for most people, you know, like

811
00:43:04,680 --> 00:43:06,799
Speaker 2: I just can't even think about that, Like I just

812
00:43:07,040 --> 00:43:10,760
Speaker 2: I literally cannot even hold a thought of judgment about

813
00:43:10,800 --> 00:43:14,520
Speaker 2: anything right now. I'm so consumed with this, and in

814
00:43:14,560 --> 00:43:17,640
Speaker 2: good ways and also in sleep deprivation ways, you know.

815
00:43:17,800 --> 00:43:21,640
Speaker 2: And so then it really is a little bit further out,

816
00:43:21,760 --> 00:43:24,640
Speaker 2: you know, more four or six, maybe even twelve weeks,

817
00:43:24,680 --> 00:43:28,759
Speaker 2: you know, where it's like, oh this, this little you know,

818
00:43:29,600 --> 00:43:33,440
Speaker 2: pooch in my tummy hasn't gone down yet, or oh my,

819
00:43:33,840 --> 00:43:35,520
Speaker 2: you know, I still look this way, or I thought

820
00:43:35,520 --> 00:43:38,400
Speaker 2: this would fit by now, or that's when you know,

821
00:43:38,440 --> 00:43:42,239
Speaker 2: you start kind of shuffling through clothes. That's where you know,

822
00:43:42,680 --> 00:43:46,880
Speaker 2: the disappointment starts to surface. Right you do give yourself.

823
00:43:46,960 --> 00:43:50,200
Speaker 2: I think most women give themselves some grace right after,

824
00:43:50,640 --> 00:43:55,440
Speaker 2: simply because they can't function otherwise. But that's when I

825
00:43:55,560 --> 00:43:57,960
Speaker 2: like to say, and this is the most practical advice

826
00:43:58,000 --> 00:44:02,560
Speaker 2: I can give is like, get one postpartum power outfit,

827
00:44:02,960 --> 00:44:06,160
Speaker 2: Like it does not have to be expensive. It can

828
00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:09,200
Speaker 2: come from Target, old Navy girl, I don't care. It's

829
00:44:09,280 --> 00:44:14,760
Speaker 2: like Amazon yourself something that you can have those black

830
00:44:14,840 --> 00:44:17,840
Speaker 2: leggings and that shirt and shawl or whatever that you

831
00:44:17,880 --> 00:44:20,239
Speaker 2: can go grab drinks with the girls that night and

832
00:44:20,400 --> 00:44:22,799
Speaker 2: try to leave your baby for a couple hours. You know,

833
00:44:22,920 --> 00:44:26,840
Speaker 2: it's like, just put on something, get some one outfit

834
00:44:27,160 --> 00:44:29,720
Speaker 2: that you're like, I kind of feel put together.

835
00:44:30,440 --> 00:44:32,799
Speaker 3: It's not where I'm ending the destination.

836
00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:35,520
Speaker 2: I still have a ways to go, but right now,

837
00:44:35,640 --> 00:44:38,680
Speaker 2: you know, because that's the biggest barrier in clothing for

838
00:44:38,760 --> 00:44:42,160
Speaker 2: postpartum is the in between is like well, now I've

839
00:44:42,200 --> 00:44:45,279
Speaker 2: got like some nursing tanks, or now I've got you know,

840
00:44:46,360 --> 00:44:49,000
Speaker 2: this size is too big because it's maternity, but that

841
00:44:49,040 --> 00:44:52,879
Speaker 2: size is too small because it's pre pregnancy, and you're

842
00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:55,879
Speaker 2: kind of in between, right and so there really needs

843
00:44:55,920 --> 00:44:59,839
Speaker 2: to be just like one good outfit that you can

844
00:44:59,840 --> 00:45:02,040
Speaker 2: be slov the rest of the day. I don't care

845
00:45:02,080 --> 00:45:05,560
Speaker 2: at all, nobody's cared, but you need to find one

846
00:45:05,680 --> 00:45:07,320
Speaker 2: thing that you can put on and feel.

847
00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:08,960
Speaker 1: Good and you don't have to think about it when

848
00:45:08,960 --> 00:45:09,440
Speaker 1: you put it on.

849
00:45:09,520 --> 00:45:13,040
Speaker 3: Yes, and that's you. You know that you feel like

850
00:45:13,120 --> 00:45:14,800
Speaker 3: yourself in Yeah.

851
00:45:14,880 --> 00:45:17,880
Speaker 4: I think that's a great, great advice I tell clients,

852
00:45:18,719 --> 00:45:22,120
Speaker 4: especially going through eating disorder recovery, because your body does

853
00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:25,120
Speaker 4: all kinds of things. Is we always need to have

854
00:45:25,160 --> 00:45:27,200
Speaker 4: one or two things that I don't have to think.

855
00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:29,560
Speaker 4: I know if I put that on, I won't mess

856
00:45:29,600 --> 00:45:31,080
Speaker 4: with it, I won't pull on it. I won't be

857
00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:34,480
Speaker 4: thinking about what I look like. I will feel maybe

858
00:45:34,560 --> 00:45:37,759
Speaker 4: not myself all the time, but I will feel comfortable

859
00:45:37,880 --> 00:45:38,160
Speaker 4: in it.

860
00:45:39,080 --> 00:45:39,719
Speaker 3: Yeah.

861
00:45:39,719 --> 00:45:42,920
Speaker 1: And if you're having a bad day, go put it on. Yes,

862
00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:44,600
Speaker 1: go put it on. You don't need to have this

863
00:45:44,640 --> 00:45:47,080
Speaker 1: trendy outfit. You don't need to like go out and

864
00:45:47,120 --> 00:45:49,080
Speaker 1: get the new genes every just go put that on.

865
00:45:49,719 --> 00:45:50,000
Speaker 3: Yep.

866
00:45:50,040 --> 00:45:50,719
Speaker 1: So I love that.

867
00:45:50,920 --> 00:45:53,200
Speaker 4: What else would you say as we kind of wrap

868
00:45:53,239 --> 00:45:58,600
Speaker 4: this up, if you are somebody who either is struggling

869
00:45:58,640 --> 00:46:00,680
Speaker 4: with this now because they're going through through it, or

870
00:46:00,760 --> 00:46:04,560
Speaker 4: I even think about I do hear a lot in

871
00:46:04,800 --> 00:46:07,400
Speaker 4: with the clients that I work with. Fears around getting

872
00:46:07,440 --> 00:46:11,279
Speaker 4: pregnant and deciding that I'm even going to start that

873
00:46:11,440 --> 00:46:15,560
Speaker 4: process to try it. Are fears around well, what is

874
00:46:15,600 --> 00:46:17,319
Speaker 4: going to happen in my body? And that is a

875
00:46:17,640 --> 00:46:19,360
Speaker 4: I mean that's a whole grating process.

876
00:46:19,440 --> 00:46:20,040
Speaker 3: Absolutely.

877
00:46:20,280 --> 00:46:21,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, So what would.

878
00:46:21,480 --> 00:46:25,440
Speaker 4: You offer, What would you encourage people that are going

879
00:46:25,480 --> 00:46:29,279
Speaker 4: through any of those stages to do, because like I

880
00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:32,320
Speaker 4: said before, I don't think many people know that there

881
00:46:32,400 --> 00:46:34,319
Speaker 4: are resources, yeah, and.

882
00:46:34,400 --> 00:46:35,000
Speaker 1: That kind of stuff.

883
00:46:35,080 --> 00:46:38,160
Speaker 2: Absolutely, we love it. Bring all the questions here, you know,

884
00:46:38,719 --> 00:46:41,959
Speaker 2: I mean, your history definitely matters. You know, if you've

885
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:44,840
Speaker 2: had a history of eating disorders or body dysmorphia or

886
00:46:44,840 --> 00:46:48,080
Speaker 2: something that is you know, you know it's going to

887
00:46:48,120 --> 00:46:50,880
Speaker 2: be a trigger if your body looks different, because it

888
00:46:50,920 --> 00:46:54,960
Speaker 2: will look different. There are some normal fears and then

889
00:46:55,040 --> 00:46:59,880
Speaker 2: there are some not so normal, disordered fears that would

890
00:47:00,520 --> 00:47:04,080
Speaker 2: you know, usually prevent people from from getting pregnant because

891
00:47:04,160 --> 00:47:05,440
Speaker 2: the fear is too much, you know.

892
00:47:05,520 --> 00:47:07,279
Speaker 3: So we can talk for those two.

893
00:47:07,360 --> 00:47:11,600
Speaker 2: But yeah, I mean I think the baseline, the most

894
00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:15,880
Speaker 2: basic advice is this is no longer about you. So

895
00:47:15,880 --> 00:47:17,799
Speaker 2: we're going to just get you out of your head

896
00:47:17,840 --> 00:47:22,400
Speaker 2: about your body and really get functional and scientific and

897
00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:27,760
Speaker 2: understanding and compassionate that this is now about another human

898
00:47:27,920 --> 00:47:30,360
Speaker 2: that you want to bring into the world. And I

899
00:47:30,440 --> 00:47:35,080
Speaker 2: do feel like we get selfless with the focus, and

900
00:47:35,160 --> 00:47:38,360
Speaker 2: that is so much more motivating. I mean, it's like

901
00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:41,040
Speaker 2: to ask any mom, it's like, you should do this

902
00:47:41,120 --> 00:47:44,160
Speaker 2: for yourself, Okay, you should do this for your kids.

903
00:47:44,200 --> 00:47:44,759
Speaker 3: I'm on it.

904
00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:49,400
Speaker 2: You know, it's like absolutely. And so when we refocus

905
00:47:49,600 --> 00:47:53,400
Speaker 2: the goal to being external, you know, this is going

906
00:47:53,440 --> 00:47:56,799
Speaker 2: to be for the baby, Like we're naturally motivated than

907
00:47:57,080 --> 00:48:01,000
Speaker 2: to work harder or or do that for them, or

908
00:48:01,200 --> 00:48:05,040
Speaker 2: treat myself better, you know, and as the carrier of

909
00:48:05,080 --> 00:48:08,200
Speaker 2: your own child, how do you want to be treated?

910
00:48:09,160 --> 00:48:12,920
Speaker 2: Becomes a little more simplistic, right, It's like, oh, okay,

911
00:48:12,920 --> 00:48:16,440
Speaker 2: so at least we can actually leverage that during this

912
00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:20,000
Speaker 2: pregnancy season, and then along the way set up like

913
00:48:20,760 --> 00:48:23,520
Speaker 2: check in points for like how are you feeling about that,

914
00:48:23,719 --> 00:48:25,680
Speaker 2: you know, and where did that come from?

915
00:48:25,719 --> 00:48:27,080
Speaker 3: And a lot of times there will.

916
00:48:26,920 --> 00:48:31,319
Speaker 2: Be you know, some of those voices that surface that's

917
00:48:31,480 --> 00:48:35,400
Speaker 2: either a you know, critical mother or or social media

918
00:48:35,840 --> 00:48:39,040
Speaker 2: or an ex boyfriend or something from the past that

919
00:48:39,160 --> 00:48:42,440
Speaker 2: like was toxic and put them down. And so really

920
00:48:42,480 --> 00:48:45,239
Speaker 2: being able to kind of identify that as like not

921
00:48:45,480 --> 00:48:49,680
Speaker 2: helpful and not true and then about you and not

922
00:48:49,800 --> 00:48:52,560
Speaker 2: the baby, right, And so then again kind of bringing

923
00:48:52,600 --> 00:48:55,680
Speaker 2: back focus like, oh, this is actually a means to

924
00:48:55,760 --> 00:48:59,920
Speaker 2: a goal that I really want, so I can do that.

925
00:49:00,480 --> 00:49:03,400
Speaker 2: I can do this, and it becomes much more outside

926
00:49:03,440 --> 00:49:07,640
Speaker 2: of yourself, which I think is also freeing because you're like, yeah,

927
00:49:07,640 --> 00:49:09,080
Speaker 2: oh this isn't even about me.

928
00:49:09,840 --> 00:49:10,480
Speaker 1: Oh I like that.

929
00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:14,360
Speaker 4: So if people want to contact you, yeah, I know

930
00:49:14,440 --> 00:49:17,000
Speaker 4: you have. You said you opened up in North Carolina.

931
00:49:17,200 --> 00:49:18,800
Speaker 3: Is that South Carolina?

932
00:49:18,880 --> 00:49:19,680
Speaker 1: Charles South Carolina?

933
00:49:19,800 --> 00:49:23,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, Charleston, So do you work outside of those two places?

934
00:49:23,560 --> 00:49:25,440
Speaker 4: Can you see people outside of South Carolina?

935
00:49:25,520 --> 00:49:30,960
Speaker 2: Tennessee, So, Tennessee, Florida, we're registered for telehealth, and South Carolina.

936
00:49:31,040 --> 00:49:33,120
Speaker 2: So currently those are the three states so we can

937
00:49:33,640 --> 00:49:36,240
Speaker 2: we can offer. But then we do have some virtual

938
00:49:36,280 --> 00:49:38,680
Speaker 2: support groups. There's a New Moms group and there's a

939
00:49:38,800 --> 00:49:43,080
Speaker 2: Lost group. Those are virtual and they can join from anywhere.

940
00:49:43,640 --> 00:49:45,960
Speaker 2: And then we have some online courses that are on

941
00:49:46,040 --> 00:49:50,600
Speaker 2: readinest Online dot com. And again we are always adding

942
00:49:50,640 --> 00:49:53,879
Speaker 2: to that library. So we encourage y' all to find

943
00:49:53,920 --> 00:49:57,040
Speaker 2: us at Readiness Counseling dot com, find us on Instagram,

944
00:49:57,520 --> 00:49:59,719
Speaker 2: reach out with your questions. If we can't help you,

945
00:49:59,760 --> 00:50:01,439
Speaker 2: we I have to connect you to someone in your

946
00:50:01,520 --> 00:50:04,920
Speaker 2: area who can and to be able to just support you.

947
00:50:04,960 --> 00:50:07,960
Speaker 2: And if you're a mental health provider or a birth worker,

948
00:50:08,560 --> 00:50:10,960
Speaker 2: we're here to consult on that as well, because I

949
00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:14,120
Speaker 2: think you know our specialty is unique and we're here

950
00:50:14,160 --> 00:50:16,279
Speaker 2: to fill those gaps. So we love linking arms and

951
00:50:16,320 --> 00:50:18,399
Speaker 2: making sure everyone gets the resources they need.

952
00:50:18,760 --> 00:50:21,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, well, thank you. I will put for everybody listening.

953
00:50:21,280 --> 00:50:24,040
Speaker 4: I'm going to put any link that you may need

954
00:50:24,200 --> 00:50:26,920
Speaker 4: connected to what Emily just said in the show notes,

955
00:50:27,280 --> 00:50:29,080
Speaker 4: so you can easily find that stuff.

956
00:50:29,640 --> 00:50:31,680
Speaker 1: And even if you don't need it now, save it.

957
00:50:31,920 --> 00:50:34,040
Speaker 4: Save it because you don't know when you may need

958
00:50:34,080 --> 00:50:36,000
Speaker 4: something like this and you want to be able to

959
00:50:36,040 --> 00:50:37,919
Speaker 4: remember where you heard that thing.

960
00:50:38,440 --> 00:50:40,080
Speaker 1: So Emily, thank you so much.

961
00:50:40,360 --> 00:50:42,439
Speaker 4: This was so nice to be able to talk about

962
00:50:42,440 --> 00:50:45,560
Speaker 4: this in a different context and helpful not only to

963
00:50:45,680 --> 00:50:48,880
Speaker 4: me as a professional to be able to help people better,

964
00:50:49,360 --> 00:50:51,360
Speaker 4: but to be able to talk to my friends better

965
00:50:51,719 --> 00:50:54,000
Speaker 4: or even think about my future.

966
00:50:54,640 --> 00:50:55,800
Speaker 1: It's been great, So thank.

967
00:50:55,680 --> 00:51:00,000
Speaker 3: You, awesome, thank you.

968
00:51:01,960 --> 00:51:02,080
Speaker 4: Bo