1
00:00:01,040 --> 00:00:06,000
Speaker 1: This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast.

2
00:00:07,640 --> 00:00:09,600
Speaker 1: Here everybody, Chris Harrison coming to you from the home

3
00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:16,440
Speaker 1: office in Austin, Texas. Today. We're talking about etiquette, about manners,

4
00:00:17,239 --> 00:00:21,280
Speaker 1: about respect, things that I don't want to sound like,

5
00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:23,479
Speaker 1: you know, the old guy here, but I feel like

6
00:00:23,560 --> 00:00:27,680
Speaker 1: we have lost in society today, in social media politics,

7
00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:30,840
Speaker 1: we're all so angry. We're quick to judge, we're quick

8
00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:33,239
Speaker 1: to ignore each other. We live in our phones, and

9
00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:35,880
Speaker 1: when someone opens a door for you and you step

10
00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:37,720
Speaker 1: on their toe on the way in, you don't even

11
00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:39,839
Speaker 1: look them in the eye and say thank you. We

12
00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:41,960
Speaker 1: don't look at the waiter or waitress when we're giving

13
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:45,560
Speaker 1: our orders anymore. The way we act, the way we dress.

14
00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:51,280
Speaker 1: I feel like etiquette has gone the way of well

15
00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:54,960
Speaker 1: has definitely coincided with kind of the anger and resentment

16
00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:58,920
Speaker 1: we're feeling in society now. And so we called up

17
00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:03,320
Speaker 1: an etiquette expert. Yeah, an etiquette expert. Mariah Grumett is

18
00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:06,280
Speaker 1: going to join me today. What I love about Mariah

19
00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:11,399
Speaker 1: Her mission is to bring an intentional sparkle back to

20
00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:16,320
Speaker 1: a lost art, and she redefines the meaning of etiquette

21
00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:19,759
Speaker 1: with a modern approachable and vibrant twist. Because the other

22
00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:21,800
Speaker 1: thing we have to understand, and I even have to

23
00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:24,360
Speaker 1: understand as I get older, is things change, We evolve.

24
00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:27,560
Speaker 1: Life does move fast. It moves a lot faster than

25
00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:30,280
Speaker 1: it did for our parents and grandparents. My kids' lives

26
00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:34,160
Speaker 1: are faster than mine. But does that mean that we

27
00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:37,600
Speaker 1: need to lose all respect, all etiquette, all manners. Is

28
00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:39,800
Speaker 1: there a way where these two things can come back

29
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:42,880
Speaker 1: together and we could have this kind of peaceful, loving existence.

30
00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:47,640
Speaker 1: I think so, and so does today's guest, Mariah Grumet

31
00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:50,960
Speaker 1: joins me. Now, all right, where are you coming in

32
00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:54,360
Speaker 1: from today? Where are you? I'm in New York City,

33
00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:57,560
Speaker 1: New York City, be there soon. I love New York.

34
00:01:57,920 --> 00:01:59,880
Speaker 1: Oh good, I really love it. In the fall.

35
00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:02,280
Speaker 2: That is my favorite time of the year in the city.

36
00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:05,440
Speaker 1: Truly, it is hard to beat fall, and that even

37
00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:08,000
Speaker 1: at the first snow in New York you're like, oh,

38
00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:10,800
Speaker 1: it's magical, and then it gets billy brown and it

39
00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:14,679
Speaker 1: looks horrible and it's terrible again. But I appreciate you

40
00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:18,000
Speaker 1: joining me. I found it very interesting when I was

41
00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:24,840
Speaker 1: researching you about redefining etiquette and what it means today

42
00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:30,400
Speaker 1: and that is something I want to pinpoint here and

43
00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:32,679
Speaker 1: kind of jump on because I think when we talk etiquette,

44
00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:35,360
Speaker 1: I talk about it all the time, and I feel

45
00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:37,480
Speaker 1: like I'm the angry old guy yelling at people to

46
00:02:37,520 --> 00:02:39,560
Speaker 1: get off my lawn, and I don't want to be

47
00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:42,800
Speaker 1: like that. But at the same time, I feel like

48
00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:46,480
Speaker 1: we have lost a modericum of etiquette, a chunk of it,

49
00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:49,080
Speaker 1: and so I'm interested to know what that means to you,

50
00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:52,040
Speaker 1: to redefine it and try to bring it back into

51
00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:53,080
Speaker 1: our society.

52
00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:56,600
Speaker 3: Absolutely, I think the word scares people sometimes, right, there's

53
00:02:56,680 --> 00:03:01,519
Speaker 3: this antiquated connotation to it, and you know, people associated

54
00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:04,200
Speaker 3: with a certain class of people or a certain meaning or.

55
00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:06,240
Speaker 1: Well, I think of my grandmother yelling at me.

56
00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:10,520
Speaker 3: Yes, absolutely, and that's what I hear so so so

57
00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:14,880
Speaker 3: commonly from people. But really, etiquette evolves as our world

58
00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:17,040
Speaker 3: does when we think about our world today, and my

59
00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:21,359
Speaker 3: mission redefining it is really to break down what it means.

60
00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:25,000
Speaker 3: And etiquette is a fancy way to say I want

61
00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:27,720
Speaker 3: someone to feel valued in my presence. I want to

62
00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:31,560
Speaker 3: leave someone better than they were when I got there.

63
00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:35,800
Speaker 3: I want someone to feel heard, valued, respected, cared for.

64
00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:40,600
Speaker 3: And it's also putting others needs in front of our hours,

65
00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:43,920
Speaker 3: you know, and but also still caring about how we're

66
00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:47,720
Speaker 3: presenting ourselves too, and maintaining, you know, the best self

67
00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:50,200
Speaker 3: presentation that we can because I'm a firm believer, and

68
00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:52,360
Speaker 3: you know, when we learn how to shine our light

69
00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:52,640
Speaker 3: in the.

70
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,800
Speaker 2: Right way, we inspire others to do the same.

71
00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:57,920
Speaker 3: So I don't want people to feel scared or be

72
00:03:57,960 --> 00:04:00,840
Speaker 3: scared of the word etiquette, because it's really about kindness

73
00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:03,280
Speaker 3: and confidence and respect.

74
00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:06,120
Speaker 1: How did you head down this path? What sparked an

75
00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:07,640
Speaker 1: interest in this? Where you're like, this is what I

76
00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:08,080
Speaker 1: want to do.

77
00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:12,160
Speaker 3: It's really niche, right, So it's something I've been interested

78
00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:14,640
Speaker 3: in for a long time. I actually wasn't raised with

79
00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:17,640
Speaker 3: any formal etiquette training. People will assume that I was

80
00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:19,599
Speaker 3: raised in a super formal home or grew up to

81
00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:20,720
Speaker 3: doing katillion.

82
00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:22,200
Speaker 2: None of those things are true.

83
00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:24,560
Speaker 3: I moved to New York right after college to work

84
00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:27,320
Speaker 3: in the fashion industry and took an etiquette course as

85
00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:28,520
Speaker 3: a fun weekend activity.

86
00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:30,320
Speaker 2: I'd always been interested.

87
00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:33,120
Speaker 3: In it, especially the history, and when I took that class,

88
00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:35,120
Speaker 3: I kind of felt like I was missing my calling

89
00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:38,080
Speaker 3: and I thought, you know, I have this mission of

90
00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:41,760
Speaker 3: bringing a sparkle back to this lost art, merging generations together,

91
00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:45,159
Speaker 3: keeping tradition alive, but making it work for our world

92
00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:46,360
Speaker 3: and the way we do things today.

93
00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:49,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, look, so much has changed, whether it's

94
00:04:49,279 --> 00:04:54,320
Speaker 1: social media, what have you, that you do have to evolve.

95
00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:57,640
Speaker 1: But at the same time, there are things that I

96
00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:03,240
Speaker 1: feel like we've lost that are important, that are good.

97
00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:05,479
Speaker 1: And I grew up in Texas, so I grew up

98
00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:07,440
Speaker 1: in the South, and so I didn't go to catillion

99
00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:11,159
Speaker 1: and do all that stuff, but I was around it.

100
00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:13,000
Speaker 1: I knew people that did. And there were the balls

101
00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:18,160
Speaker 1: and all these and everything. There you go, the Debutante balls.

102
00:05:18,279 --> 00:05:18,800
Speaker 2: L I was.

103
00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:21,440
Speaker 1: I did Valet Park for the Debutante ball, so I

104
00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:24,080
Speaker 1: almost went. I was just in the garage all night,

105
00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:27,960
Speaker 1: parking cars. But you know when you hear that, it's like, Okay,

106
00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:29,960
Speaker 1: they're teaching me to dance, They're teaching me what fork

107
00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:32,840
Speaker 1: to use. I think we can go deeper and just

108
00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:35,360
Speaker 1: how we treat people on the day to day level.

109
00:05:35,839 --> 00:05:37,800
Speaker 3: Yes, and a lot of it is about, again, like

110
00:05:37,839 --> 00:05:40,000
Speaker 3: I said, making someone feel valued in our presence, but

111
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:42,719
Speaker 3: it's also about us making sure that we can show

112
00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:45,480
Speaker 3: up in the best way possible and market ourselves, display

113
00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:46,360
Speaker 3: our confidence.

114
00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:49,839
Speaker 2: It's about the making the intentional.

115
00:05:49,279 --> 00:05:52,799
Speaker 3: Decision to assert the best version of ourselves for each situation.

116
00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:54,040
Speaker 2: So yes, etiquet.

117
00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:56,080
Speaker 3: It comes with a set of rules and guidelines and

118
00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:58,400
Speaker 3: things like that, but it's it's much more about your

119
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:01,679
Speaker 3: social awareness, your emotional and intelligence, thinking on your feet.

120
00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:04,359
Speaker 2: There's a whole psychology part of it. So it does go.

121
00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:07,400
Speaker 3: Much deeper than the debutante falls as much as that

122
00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:09,160
Speaker 3: those are so fun too, But.

123
00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:11,279
Speaker 1: What is what do you think we have lost? What

124
00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:13,359
Speaker 1: are some things from the past that you would like

125
00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:18,400
Speaker 1: to redefine and bring in to society again today.

126
00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:20,200
Speaker 3: I think one of those things is the way that

127
00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:23,719
Speaker 3: we communicate with people. We're so attached to our phones,

128
00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:27,160
Speaker 3: we're so we move so quickly in our society today

129
00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:30,320
Speaker 3: that sometimes we don't take that moment. Whether it's as

130
00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:32,839
Speaker 3: simple as when you go get your coffee somewhere and

131
00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:34,839
Speaker 3: you take a moment to say, hello, how are you

132
00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:36,599
Speaker 3: to the person who's making your coffee?

133
00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:38,280
Speaker 2: I live in New York, I'm in New York, or.

134
00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:41,760
Speaker 3: We move at lightning speed, but sometimes it's about taking

135
00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:43,800
Speaker 3: a moment to say again, like how can I make

136
00:06:43,839 --> 00:06:46,039
Speaker 3: this person's day a little bit brighter. What is that

137
00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:48,680
Speaker 3: thing that's not going to cost me anything or take

138
00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:49,719
Speaker 3: up too much time.

139
00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:52,080
Speaker 2: I mean a lot of that comes from our connection

140
00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:53,400
Speaker 2: with people and our communication.

141
00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:59,040
Speaker 1: And it's funny to me how some things, not only

142
00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:02,799
Speaker 1: it used to be good etiquette, now it's almost offensive again.

143
00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:05,000
Speaker 1: I grew up. I guess you call it the Midwest.

144
00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:07,200
Speaker 1: I call it the South. I mean because anything south

145
00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:10,120
Speaker 1: of me is the Gulf of Mexico or so, I

146
00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:11,800
Speaker 1: feel like it's south. But I know there's a difference

147
00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:15,960
Speaker 1: between the South and Texas South. But I grew up

148
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:19,520
Speaker 1: saying yes, ma'am and yes sir. It was beat into

149
00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:22,600
Speaker 1: me as a child from my parents, and I'm grateful

150
00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:25,400
Speaker 1: for it. I say it to everybody because I don't

151
00:07:25,440 --> 00:07:26,880
Speaker 1: even think about it. I'm just like if I was

152
00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:28,000
Speaker 1: talking to you, I say yes, ma'am.

153
00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:28,960
Speaker 2: You know, Chris.

154
00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:33,160
Speaker 3: It's also so cultural and geographical too, and that's why, yes,

155
00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:35,320
Speaker 3: there's a rule book, but I think it's so much

156
00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:37,640
Speaker 3: more beneficial for us to look at etiquette is more

157
00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:41,600
Speaker 3: of a fluid thing and more situational, because what works

158
00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:43,800
Speaker 3: for you or worked for you in Texas might be

159
00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:47,000
Speaker 3: extremely different than what works in California or what's expected

160
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:47,520
Speaker 3: in New York.

161
00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:48,640
Speaker 2: You know, my sister.

162
00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:51,160
Speaker 3: I grew up in New Jersey and my sister went

163
00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:53,120
Speaker 3: to school in the South, and she had to adjust

164
00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:55,960
Speaker 3: some some things when she moved as a way to

165
00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:58,520
Speaker 3: show respect. But when you think about, Okay, I want

166
00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:01,160
Speaker 3: to show respect in the situation, and what do I

167
00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:04,320
Speaker 3: have to do to kind of pivot or change things

168
00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:06,400
Speaker 3: that I'm used to so it fits where I am.

169
00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:08,720
Speaker 2: It's a cultural and geographical thing for sure.

170
00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:23,360
Speaker 1: What do you think etiquette? And I'll kind of even

171
00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:27,120
Speaker 1: put an etiquette slash manners because they're very tightly linked

172
00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:29,960
Speaker 1: in a lot of ways have changed so much because

173
00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:32,960
Speaker 1: you know, say, for example, you're in New York at Starbucks,

174
00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:36,000
Speaker 1: there's one everye hundred yards, but you open the door

175
00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:40,120
Speaker 1: and you know, you see someone behind you and you're like, oh,

176
00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:42,199
Speaker 1: come on, you know I would hold the door for you,

177
00:08:42,679 --> 00:08:45,320
Speaker 1: and they just walk on through, no eye contact, no

178
00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:49,480
Speaker 1: thank you, no nothing. And I'm just like, why where

179
00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:52,439
Speaker 1: have we lost just decency in those manners? And I

180
00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:54,520
Speaker 1: feel like we have lost it somewhere along the way.

181
00:08:54,920 --> 00:08:57,520
Speaker 3: Yes, you know, I hate to blame it on the

182
00:08:57,559 --> 00:09:00,960
Speaker 3: pandemic or say anything like that. But it's part of

183
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,760
Speaker 3: the issue is that we were alone for so long

184
00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:06,360
Speaker 3: and we lacked that human connection. And it's not to

185
00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:08,840
Speaker 3: say that that's a good enough excuse for someone to

186
00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:10,640
Speaker 3: not take thank you or not look at someone in

187
00:09:10,679 --> 00:09:14,760
Speaker 3: the eye, but it's almost like readjusting to that. And

188
00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:17,920
Speaker 3: I think it's also what we're deciding to pass down

189
00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:22,040
Speaker 3: the generation. I think social media has a huge part

190
00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:24,280
Speaker 3: of or a huge thing to do with it. Just

191
00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:27,199
Speaker 3: how fast our society moves today. It's like we almost

192
00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:30,319
Speaker 3: forgot about the basics. So I can talk about all

193
00:09:30,360 --> 00:09:32,559
Speaker 3: these intricacies of etiquette till the pals come home. But

194
00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:35,839
Speaker 3: if we forget about the basics, as you mentioned, holding

195
00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:37,920
Speaker 3: the door for someone, looking at someone in the eye,

196
00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:40,320
Speaker 3: saying please and thank you, that's the foundation of it.

197
00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:42,960
Speaker 2: That's the foundation of the respect for each other.

198
00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:45,559
Speaker 1: And I feel like this is where I will seem

199
00:09:45,559 --> 00:09:47,480
Speaker 1: like the old guy yelling at people on my lawn.

200
00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:50,199
Speaker 1: It is and you hit, I really think you hit

201
00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:53,840
Speaker 1: something that's very important. It is a learned behavior. The

202
00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:56,040
Speaker 1: reason I noticed stand up when a woman comes to

203
00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:58,080
Speaker 1: the table is I was taught. The reason I know

204
00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:01,520
Speaker 1: to open a door. I was taught, yes, ma'am, Yes, sir.

205
00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:05,000
Speaker 1: That's how I was taught and raised. If you're not

206
00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:08,240
Speaker 1: teaching that, if you're not passing it on, it's not

207
00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:11,400
Speaker 1: going to be passed on. And I look at people

208
00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:15,400
Speaker 1: with their kids in a restaurant, a very nice restaurant,

209
00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:18,200
Speaker 1: and they have a hat on and they're watching a

210
00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:21,880
Speaker 1: movie and they scream at their parents to give me something,

211
00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:25,200
Speaker 1: and the waiter walks over, and they don't even look

212
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:27,280
Speaker 1: at the waiter in the eye and they just kind

213
00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:31,160
Speaker 1: of murmur what they want. It just makes me cringe.

214
00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:35,400
Speaker 1: I lose my mind with bad manners and bad etiquette

215
00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:35,719
Speaker 1: like that.

216
00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:37,480
Speaker 2: I understand completely.

217
00:10:37,559 --> 00:10:39,600
Speaker 3: And you know that's why what I tell my story

218
00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:42,000
Speaker 3: of not being raised in any kind of formal training.

219
00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:45,160
Speaker 3: One thing that my parents and my grandparents drilled into

220
00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:48,320
Speaker 3: my siblings and I was the idea of that you

221
00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:51,360
Speaker 3: treated everyone with respect, whether it was the person cleaning

222
00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:54,000
Speaker 3: the toilet or the owner of the building, the CEO

223
00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:56,440
Speaker 3: of the company. It was about how you treated people

224
00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:59,920
Speaker 3: and being mindful of how your actions and words and

225
00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:02,839
Speaker 3: behaviors and whereabout how that affects other people. And I

226
00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:05,679
Speaker 3: think that's kind of where we got lost is that

227
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:07,680
Speaker 3: you know, whether it's me and the nail salon and

228
00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:10,360
Speaker 3: someone's talking on their phone extremely loudly, they're not even

229
00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:12,400
Speaker 3: aware of how that act.

230
00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:16,439
Speaker 2: Is, you know, affecting me or affecting.

231
00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:18,280
Speaker 3: The people around them, and so holding your fork and

232
00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:21,800
Speaker 3: knife not really it's important, of course, but it's how

233
00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:23,720
Speaker 3: we behave and how that affects other people.

234
00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:26,000
Speaker 1: I need to before because I want to ask you

235
00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:28,480
Speaker 1: about relationships and how this can help us all with

236
00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:30,800
Speaker 1: the relationships. But I need you to settle a score

237
00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:32,600
Speaker 1: for me. So Louren and I go back and forth

238
00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:37,120
Speaker 1: on this all the time. I and again, God bless

239
00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:39,880
Speaker 1: my grandmother and my parents. This was beat into me.

240
00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:42,880
Speaker 1: I cannot change it. I can't wear a hat indoors.

241
00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:46,280
Speaker 1: I can't. It just immediately comes off. I don't care

242
00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:49,360
Speaker 1: if I have a bad hat day, my hair or whatever.

243
00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:51,640
Speaker 1: I can't walk into a restaurant with a hat on.

244
00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:55,640
Speaker 1: Is that okay? Now? Do I need to get over this?

245
00:11:56,520 --> 00:11:59,319
Speaker 3: No, it's still expected, especially for a gentleman to remove

246
00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:01,840
Speaker 3: his hat upon going indoors. And you know, any type

247
00:12:01,880 --> 00:12:04,319
Speaker 3: of outdoor hat, regardless of gender. So if it's a

248
00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:06,880
Speaker 3: sun hat, a baseball hat, a winter hat. The only

249
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:09,800
Speaker 3: exception to the indoor hat role is if a lady

250
00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:12,719
Speaker 3: has an outfit on with a hat that's pinned to

251
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:13,400
Speaker 3: her head.

252
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:16,920
Speaker 1: Or totally agree it's part of the outfit. Yes, I

253
00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:20,360
Speaker 1: tell I totally, I totally agree with that. And but

254
00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:23,360
Speaker 1: walking in and don't get me started. If someone has

255
00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:25,440
Speaker 1: a hat on backwards and they walk into a restaurant,

256
00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:28,199
Speaker 1: I just it's all I can do not to snatch

257
00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:29,760
Speaker 1: them by the scruff of the neck and drag them

258
00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:31,800
Speaker 1: outside and talk to him like my grandmother would have

259
00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:33,360
Speaker 1: done to me and Chris.

260
00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:35,520
Speaker 2: People argue with me on that, like who cares? That's

261
00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:37,079
Speaker 2: what they say. Who cares if I'm wearing a hat?

262
00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:39,960
Speaker 3: What if I'm a kind person and I'm respectful to

263
00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:40,720
Speaker 3: the serving staff?

264
00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:42,080
Speaker 2: Who cares if I'm wearing a hat?

265
00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:45,559
Speaker 3: And I say, because we communicate with our body language

266
00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:48,480
Speaker 3: and our physical appearance and our outward appearance in addition

267
00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:51,439
Speaker 3: to our words, and so removing hat is a is

268
00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:52,679
Speaker 3: a basic sign of repect.

269
00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:56,960
Speaker 1: You're immediately You're immediately telling me you don't care. Yes, exactly,

270
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:59,640
Speaker 1: by walking in like that, exactly, Okay, thank you for

271
00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:04,400
Speaker 1: letting the old man rant. You welcome. The thing I

272
00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:06,000
Speaker 1: think is interesting and I wanted to get to with

273
00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:09,080
Speaker 1: you is relationships, and a lot of people listening to

274
00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:12,720
Speaker 1: this are looking for relationships that are in relationships. I

275
00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:16,960
Speaker 1: think a big red flag is someone with bad manners,

276
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:18,240
Speaker 1: someone with bad etiquette.

277
00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:18,960
Speaker 2: I agree.

278
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:22,200
Speaker 3: And we can look at, you know, relationships and etiquette

279
00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:24,160
Speaker 3: in two ways. You can look at it as a

280
00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:26,840
Speaker 3: way of, you know, what can I do to show

281
00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:29,480
Speaker 3: respect to the other person, but it's also what can

282
00:13:29,520 --> 00:13:33,040
Speaker 3: I do for myself to put my best foot forward?

283
00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:36,440
Speaker 1: You know. I was listening to Bethany Frankel kind of

284
00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:39,720
Speaker 1: go on this rant the other day. She had a date.

285
00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:42,240
Speaker 1: It was a first date, and I believe it was

286
00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:45,440
Speaker 1: a blind date that was set up for and she

287
00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:47,720
Speaker 1: was saying, how I guess she had talked about this publicly,

288
00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,120
Speaker 1: that she was going to go on this first date.

289
00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:51,439
Speaker 1: And she came back on and said, I canceled the date.

290
00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:55,679
Speaker 1: I didn't go on it because this gentleman called her

291
00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:57,240
Speaker 1: and he was he said, he said he had done

292
00:13:57,320 --> 00:13:59,679
Speaker 1: very well text messages, phone message talking and all this,

293
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:04,880
Speaker 1: all this good stuff, but he lived further She lived

294
00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:07,400
Speaker 1: further out from the city than he did. And so

295
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:10,320
Speaker 1: it was probably on the way to the restaurant and

296
00:14:10,679 --> 00:14:12,520
Speaker 1: he said, well, why don't you just either pick me

297
00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:16,240
Speaker 1: up or we'll meet there. And that was a red

298
00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:18,120
Speaker 1: flag for her. I think she called it a pink flag,

299
00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:21,480
Speaker 1: but I was like, and I totally agree with Bethany,

300
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:25,160
Speaker 1: that to me was bad form. It was bad etiquette.

301
00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:27,960
Speaker 1: Either offer to go get her, because if you care,

302
00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:29,840
Speaker 1: you're going to make the drive to go get her.

303
00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:31,760
Speaker 1: I don't care if it costs you an extra five

304
00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:35,560
Speaker 1: miles to go get her. Go offer to pick her

305
00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:39,040
Speaker 1: up on that first date, and or at the very

306
00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:40,640
Speaker 1: least meet there at the restaurant.

307
00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:43,760
Speaker 3: Yes, and this is not about him being the guy

308
00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:46,000
Speaker 3: and her being the girl. It's not about that. It's

309
00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:49,640
Speaker 3: about that he didn't go the extra mile to make

310
00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:52,480
Speaker 3: her feel valued. And it is small thing that he

311
00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:55,240
Speaker 3: could have done that could have totally, you know, made

312
00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:57,160
Speaker 3: a great first impression. And we have to think about

313
00:14:57,400 --> 00:14:59,359
Speaker 3: you know, first impressions with dates.

314
00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:00,000
Speaker 2: Are a huge thing.

315
00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:04,680
Speaker 1: And by the way, to at least have said, hey,

316
00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:06,680
Speaker 1: I'll come pick you up for a date, and then

317
00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:09,720
Speaker 1: Bethany can say that's crazy, don't do that, silly, I'll

318
00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:11,320
Speaker 1: drive in and get you it's on the way, or

319
00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:13,120
Speaker 1: at least I'll drive your house, I'll drop off my

320
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:15,280
Speaker 1: car and we'll go from there. But you have made

321
00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:18,400
Speaker 1: the effort. Like you said, it's making people feel respected,

322
00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:21,680
Speaker 1: feel valued, feel seen. And so I agreed with her,

323
00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:23,680
Speaker 1: and that was the only reason why she canceled the date.

324
00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:26,480
Speaker 1: But it was definitely one of the flags that she saw,

325
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:31,200
Speaker 1: and I totally agreed with her. I fully appreciate how

326
00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:33,800
Speaker 1: quickly are you getting off Instagram and off the direct

327
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:37,080
Speaker 1: messages and text messaging? Are you talking to people? All

328
00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:39,280
Speaker 1: that I think is etiquette in a relationship.

329
00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:41,680
Speaker 3: And I agree with Bethany's take there too, And I

330
00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:45,240
Speaker 3: think it's important for people to determine what's important to

331
00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:47,560
Speaker 3: them and what those red flags are because it might

332
00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:51,480
Speaker 3: look different for everybody. But to basically be told, I'm

333
00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:53,080
Speaker 3: not going to go out of the way to make

334
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:54,960
Speaker 3: this a special night and come pick them up before

335
00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:55,920
Speaker 3: you even meet them.

336
00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:59,200
Speaker 2: For the first date, your expectations are low from.

337
00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:01,520
Speaker 1: There right well, And I'm sure you see this a

338
00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:05,840
Speaker 1: lot as people talk about relationships and etiquette. They start

339
00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:10,200
Speaker 1: they'll just text yeah and use bad grammar or what

340
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:13,480
Speaker 1: and leave the relationship on a direct message or a

341
00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:17,760
Speaker 1: text basis and not take it to that next level

342
00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:22,080
Speaker 1: and properly show again making someone feel valued and seen.

343
00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:25,440
Speaker 2: Yes, our phones are such a comfort to us.

344
00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:28,600
Speaker 3: It's like we can hide behind our phone, and so

345
00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:32,080
Speaker 3: it takes away from really developing that connection that you

346
00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:34,560
Speaker 3: get when you are face to face with somebody and

347
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:37,200
Speaker 3: you're able to hear their voice and hear their tone

348
00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:39,640
Speaker 3: and their passion, and those are things you don't get

349
00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:41,440
Speaker 3: through a DM or a text message.

350
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:44,240
Speaker 1: Would you say phones are the number one etiquette killer

351
00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:45,200
Speaker 1: in the world right now?

352
00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:46,400
Speaker 2: You know, It's funny.

353
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:49,000
Speaker 3: I have such a love hate relationship with technology and

354
00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:49,720
Speaker 3: social media.

355
00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:51,640
Speaker 2: I think it's the reason that I get.

356
00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:53,520
Speaker 3: To do what I do. Social media plays a huge

357
00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:55,480
Speaker 3: part in my business, and I'm so grateful for that,

358
00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:58,560
Speaker 3: and I'm grateful for you know, how it's connected.

359
00:16:58,120 --> 00:16:58,720
Speaker 2: Me to people.

360
00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:01,600
Speaker 3: But I think it's there's a line between it totally

361
00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:02,440
Speaker 3: taking home.

362
00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:03,440
Speaker 2: For our lives today.

363
00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:06,840
Speaker 1: It really is, and you know, but we get so

364
00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:09,240
Speaker 1: addicted to it, especially like you said in COVID, we

365
00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:14,120
Speaker 1: lived alone. Many people did anyway, and you became addicted

366
00:17:14,119 --> 00:17:16,879
Speaker 1: and reliable on your phone to almost like that friend,

367
00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:20,160
Speaker 1: that companion and when you go to dinner, you can't

368
00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:21,399
Speaker 1: put it down and you just all of a sudden

369
00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:23,760
Speaker 1: start scrolling while you're sitting at the dinner table. It's

370
00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:26,119
Speaker 1: like rip that leave it in the car.

371
00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:29,200
Speaker 3: Yes, and that's a simple first date or any date

372
00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:31,119
Speaker 3: etiquette tip, but it's basic manners.

373
00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:33,880
Speaker 2: Keep your phone away, you know, unless you are you.

374
00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:36,399
Speaker 3: Have some very important call that you're expecting and you're

375
00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:38,760
Speaker 3: able to tell the person ahead of time. My doctor

376
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:40,399
Speaker 3: might be calling. I may need to run out real

377
00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:42,720
Speaker 3: quick to take this phone call. Otherwise it should be

378
00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:45,640
Speaker 3: in your bag. You're not scrolling, you're not answering emails.

379
00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:49,119
Speaker 3: That's a huge, huge thing that I hear from people

380
00:17:49,119 --> 00:17:51,120
Speaker 3: on first dates is that someone will, like you said,

381
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:52,760
Speaker 3: just take their phone out in the middle of dinner

382
00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:54,320
Speaker 3: and it totally kills the conversation.

383
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,600
Speaker 1: What are some other etiquette issues that we should be

384
00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:11,720
Speaker 1: a watching out for as red flags, but be hopefully

385
00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:13,760
Speaker 1: not doing ourselves on dates?

386
00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:17,960
Speaker 3: In relationships, punctuality is a huge thing too, being.

387
00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:20,400
Speaker 1: On phone, where's Lauren? I'm so bad, Lauren's out of town.

388
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:21,240
Speaker 1: I wish you could hear that.

389
00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:24,960
Speaker 3: I'm so so big on punctuality. Again, you have to

390
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:28,080
Speaker 3: think about all these things that contribute to the first impression.

391
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:29,320
Speaker 2: It's if you're being.

392
00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:32,080
Speaker 3: On time, It's what you you choose to wear, It's

393
00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:35,480
Speaker 3: how you decide to enter the restaurant.

394
00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:37,320
Speaker 2: Right are you wherever you're having the date.

395
00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:40,280
Speaker 3: Are you walking in, you know, with your shoulders back

396
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:42,879
Speaker 3: and you're making eye contact and your body language is open,

397
00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:45,399
Speaker 3: or are you hunch down in your phone, things are

398
00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:48,080
Speaker 3: flying out of your handbag, you're running late. You know,

399
00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:51,479
Speaker 3: we have seven seconds to make a first impression, and

400
00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:55,680
Speaker 3: somebody's creating that storyline of you within those first seven seconds.

401
00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:58,560
Speaker 3: It's not because we're we mean to be judgmental. It's

402
00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:00,720
Speaker 3: the way our brains work, and so we really want

403
00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:03,520
Speaker 3: to put our best foot forward with making sure everything

404
00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:06,560
Speaker 3: that goes into those first few seconds being on time,

405
00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:09,800
Speaker 3: you know, maintaining positive body language, ratsing.

406
00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:11,720
Speaker 2: The part, all those things even.

407
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:13,840
Speaker 3: Beforehand, like we mentioned about the story about Bethany, what

408
00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:16,600
Speaker 3: you can do beforehand to confirm the day, to offer

409
00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:20,120
Speaker 3: to make something easier. That all goes into you know,

410
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:23,000
Speaker 3: how that person is perceiving you before you even get

411
00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:23,919
Speaker 3: into the conversation.

412
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:27,919
Speaker 1: And that point, by the way, applies to our kids

413
00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:31,480
Speaker 1: who one of my son just graduated college and they're

414
00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:34,719
Speaker 1: going on job interviews and looking for jobs. The same

415
00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:38,760
Speaker 1: rule applies. That is just another first date. It's a relationship.

416
00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:41,639
Speaker 1: That job interview, you have seven seconds think about what

417
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:44,440
Speaker 1: she just said. There's seven seconds to make that impression.

418
00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:46,480
Speaker 1: And yeah, you got to follow up with the correct answers,

419
00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:49,439
Speaker 1: and you know, hold yourself accountable while you're doing the interview.

420
00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:51,800
Speaker 1: But you're right, those those first seven seconds when you

421
00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:53,399
Speaker 1: walk in an office are huge.

422
00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:54,639
Speaker 2: And Chris, it's interesting.

423
00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:57,480
Speaker 3: There's a study, a psychology study that was conducted in

424
00:19:57,520 --> 00:20:00,520
Speaker 3: the late sixties and has been proven again again that

425
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:03,359
Speaker 3: over half of the way we're perceived by people is

426
00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:05,560
Speaker 3: through our nonverbal behavior. So I know a lot of

427
00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:07,680
Speaker 3: people when they go on first dates, they stress about

428
00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:09,720
Speaker 3: and I ask the right questions that I over shared,

429
00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:11,879
Speaker 3: and I say too much. And while our words are

430
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:16,280
Speaker 3: still super super important and contribute to the success or

431
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:19,200
Speaker 3: not out of a first or a date, we really

432
00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:21,600
Speaker 3: want to make sure that we're being open in the

433
00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:25,080
Speaker 3: way that we communicate with our bodies, and not only body.

434
00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:28,399
Speaker 2: Language, but our energy and our smile and what we're wearing.

435
00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:30,480
Speaker 3: All that has a lot to do with how someone

436
00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:32,960
Speaker 3: is perceiving us, and when we're looking to make a

437
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:36,840
Speaker 3: really great first and lasting impression on a date, sometimes

438
00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:37,760
Speaker 3: we forget about that.

439
00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:39,960
Speaker 2: We're so focused on our works.

440
00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:45,960
Speaker 1: Interesting, okay, so help me better my body language. What

441
00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:49,320
Speaker 1: am I doing right wrong? Tell me what I should

442
00:20:49,359 --> 00:20:52,040
Speaker 1: be doing on a date or in a job interview.

443
00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:54,399
Speaker 1: What's good? Good positive body energy.

444
00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:56,360
Speaker 2: So your walk is super important.

445
00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:58,399
Speaker 3: It falls into that seven seconds a lot of the

446
00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:00,280
Speaker 3: times you're walking into a room.

447
00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:02,040
Speaker 2: So making sure you have a strong walk.

448
00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:05,280
Speaker 3: Your posture is important, and not just the posture that

449
00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:06,960
Speaker 3: you know, if my mom poking me in the back

450
00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:09,359
Speaker 3: when I was a little girl, to stand up straight,

451
00:21:09,359 --> 00:21:12,280
Speaker 3: but it's also you know, the level we keep our

452
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:16,639
Speaker 3: chin and you know, just our overall energy and our posture.

453
00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:19,840
Speaker 3: We also want to maintain open body language. That's how

454
00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:23,719
Speaker 3: we help create stronger relationships. So an example of closed

455
00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:26,000
Speaker 3: body language would be to you know, cross my legs,

456
00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:29,480
Speaker 3: cross my arm something like that, versus having my hands

457
00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:33,080
Speaker 3: open and visible to someone create stress with our brain

458
00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:36,119
Speaker 3: and also keeps ourselves open, which to the other person

459
00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:38,679
Speaker 3: is related as Okay, we're creating this relationship.

460
00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:41,879
Speaker 2: This person is you know, inviting me to kind of

461
00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:43,640
Speaker 2: you know, be in a close space with.

462
00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:45,600
Speaker 1: Them, have a theme song in your head, walk to

463
00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:48,359
Speaker 1: your theme song. Yes, people always ask guys like, what

464
00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:50,159
Speaker 1: would your play on music be as you walk to

465
00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:51,960
Speaker 1: the plate, Have that in your head as you walk in.

466
00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:54,920
Speaker 1: See you walk with that confidence and sit with that confidence.

467
00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:57,000
Speaker 1: But you're right when people sit down and you know

468
00:21:57,040 --> 00:21:59,600
Speaker 1: they sit back, they have bad posture. But it's like

469
00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:02,240
Speaker 1: all those things tell you so much more. Whether we

470
00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:06,440
Speaker 1: know it or not, You're constantly getting that feedback as

471
00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:07,320
Speaker 1: you look at somebody.

472
00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:09,840
Speaker 3: Yes, And it's not about being fake or perfect or

473
00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:12,240
Speaker 3: anything like that. It's about putting our best foot forward

474
00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:14,840
Speaker 3: and saying I cared enough about you and this date

475
00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:17,840
Speaker 3: and your time that I'm going to give everything good

476
00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:20,159
Speaker 3: that I have to be this hour or hour and

477
00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:22,479
Speaker 3: a half or however long it is, hopefully longer, hopefully

478
00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:23,000
Speaker 3: it's a good date.

479
00:22:23,359 --> 00:22:27,960
Speaker 1: Two more things, leaning forward versus neutral or leaning back.

480
00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:31,840
Speaker 1: And also touch in an appropriate way. I'm talking about

481
00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:33,680
Speaker 1: on a first date.

482
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:36,040
Speaker 3: I probably I don't know, like a hug at the end,

483
00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:38,520
Speaker 3: I don't know. It depends on your preference. And you know,

484
00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:42,119
Speaker 3: part of exploring body language is not only being conscious

485
00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:45,000
Speaker 3: of our own body language, but it's being extra conscious

486
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:46,879
Speaker 3: of the other person's body language.

487
00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:49,680
Speaker 2: So before you go to you know, make a move or.

488
00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:52,640
Speaker 3: Hold their hand or give them a hug, pay close

489
00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:54,520
Speaker 3: attention to how they're moving their body.

490
00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:56,680
Speaker 2: Is their body language open to you? Is it kind

491
00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:57,520
Speaker 2: of closed off?

492
00:22:57,880 --> 00:23:01,240
Speaker 3: Again, we communicate so strongly with our so not only

493
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:03,439
Speaker 3: is it important for us to focus on ours, but

494
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:06,840
Speaker 3: it will really really put you ahead if you're able

495
00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:09,600
Speaker 3: to focus on other people's body language. And Chris, this

496
00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:11,280
Speaker 3: will ruin you because now you'll go through the rest

497
00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:12,920
Speaker 3: of this week and next week and you'll be so

498
00:23:13,119 --> 00:23:16,560
Speaker 3: hyper punking time people's body language, because that's what happens

499
00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:19,040
Speaker 3: when I talk about this with people. But in terms

500
00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:21,440
Speaker 3: of the leaning, you know, leaning in is a sign

501
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:24,320
Speaker 3: of interest. So if someone is opening up to you

502
00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:27,639
Speaker 3: telling you a great story, other than eye contact and

503
00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:31,040
Speaker 3: nodding and smiling to signify that you're interested, leaning forward

504
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:32,880
Speaker 3: is a great way to say, you know, tell me more,

505
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:36,119
Speaker 3: you have my full attention versus neutral. If you're you know,

506
00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:38,800
Speaker 3: going back and forth over a neutral subject, that's fine

507
00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:39,800
Speaker 3: as well, right.

508
00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:43,399
Speaker 1: And I guess consequently as well, you want to make

509
00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:47,800
Speaker 1: sure you're not giving the wrong signals. But so that's

510
00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:50,200
Speaker 1: a good point. Pick up what the other person's putting down.

511
00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:52,520
Speaker 3: Yes, and think about it as a whole. You know,

512
00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:56,080
Speaker 3: when we think about our words, our tone, our body language,

513
00:23:56,119 --> 00:23:58,119
Speaker 3: we want all three of those things to be working

514
00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:01,000
Speaker 3: together and not against each other. So you might have

515
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:05,159
Speaker 3: an incredible story to tell your connecting, but if your

516
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:07,639
Speaker 3: body language is off, there's going to be a disconnect,

517
00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:10,439
Speaker 3: you know, with the listener versus or the same thing.

518
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:14,600
Speaker 3: If you you know, have green body language, but you're

519
00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:17,080
Speaker 3: struggling to get your point across, you're nervous, you don't

520
00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:18,800
Speaker 3: have good tone, good passion in your voice.

521
00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:20,560
Speaker 2: Again, there's a disconnect for the listeners.

522
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:23,000
Speaker 3: We want to make sure all those things are working together,

523
00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:24,000
Speaker 3: not against each other.

524
00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:25,639
Speaker 1: Yeah, I used to tell people because I would help

525
00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:27,200
Speaker 1: people as they got into the business. One of the

526
00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:29,879
Speaker 1: hardest things in television I tell people is to be

527
00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:33,520
Speaker 1: yourself because we all have this idea of how we look,

528
00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:36,840
Speaker 1: and sometimes we act like how we think we look.

529
00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:38,920
Speaker 1: And it's like, for example, if I just put a

530
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:41,480
Speaker 1: camera on someone outside they start doing these crazy things.

531
00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:43,080
Speaker 1: I'm like, well have you ever done that? When have

532
00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:45,760
Speaker 1: you ever started just dancing? You don't do that, and

533
00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:50,600
Speaker 1: so oftentimes you can even have a calm, relatable voice conversational,

534
00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:54,240
Speaker 1: but you're you're stiff, and so even though you're conversationally,

535
00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:56,560
Speaker 1: you're not moving, and that just it's very off putting.

536
00:24:56,560 --> 00:24:59,919
Speaker 1: And so actually being yourself, look at yourself, paid ten

537
00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:02,719
Speaker 1: to how you normally are. If you're a hand talker,

538
00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:05,280
Speaker 1: which I am, I'm a big hand talker. If I don't,

539
00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:08,399
Speaker 1: if I don't do that, it seems very weird. And

540
00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:13,920
Speaker 1: so paying attention to how you act in normal, relaxed environment,

541
00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:16,639
Speaker 1: try to carry that into those other environments, whether it's

542
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:21,520
Speaker 1: a job, interview, hosting, a TV show, or a first date.

543
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:25,280
Speaker 3: Alwisi edikn applies to everything. It's for every situation, for

544
00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:27,160
Speaker 3: every walk of life, for every chapter.

545
00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:28,440
Speaker 2: It applied to every situation.

546
00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:31,360
Speaker 1: It really does. Maria, thank you so much. I appreciate

547
00:25:31,359 --> 00:25:33,320
Speaker 1: the time and thank you for bringing etiquette back into

548
00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:36,639
Speaker 1: our lives. I fully believe we need more of it,

549
00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:39,560
Speaker 1: we need more manners. It just makes people more kind

550
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:43,919
Speaker 1: We need more kindness, more love, more respect, and it

551
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:46,560
Speaker 1: just makes people feel seen and feel like, Okay, you

552
00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:49,159
Speaker 1: understand what I'm doing, You appreciate what I'm doing so

553
00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:51,359
Speaker 1: thank you because I appreciate what you're doing.

554
00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:52,480
Speaker 2: Oh my pleasure, Chris.

555
00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:54,640
Speaker 3: Thank you for giving me a platform to speak about

556
00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:55,879
Speaker 3: something I'm so passionate about.

557
00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:58,880
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening. Follow us on Instagram at the most

558
00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:01,399
Speaker 1: Dramatic pod Ever, and make sure to write us a

559
00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:04,119
Speaker 1: review and leave us five stars. I'll talk to you

560
00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:04,600
Speaker 1: next time.