WEBVTT - Episode 8: Crab Mentality

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<v Speaker 1>The Hookup is a production of iHeart Podcasts, Blumhouse Television

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<v Speaker 1>and Ember twenty. Listener discretion is totally advised. Yes, you're

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<v Speaker 1>not Wade?

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<v Speaker 2>Correct?

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<v Speaker 1>Is Wade? Wade?

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<v Speaker 2>What is someone here? Damien?

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<v Speaker 1>Hide?

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<v Speaker 2>Wade?

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<v Speaker 1>Do you have a minute to talk?

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<v Speaker 2>Hello? Shirtless guy in the room. Does it look like

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<v Speaker 2>Wade has a minute to talk to you? Right?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I'll just come back later, Damien.

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<v Speaker 2>Hold on, Damn it so close, Tanner. I'm sorry to

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<v Speaker 2>do this, but can we take a rain check? Seriously?

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<v Speaker 1>Nice to meet you, Tanner. Sorry about that. I didn't

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<v Speaker 1>mean to interrupt anything.

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<v Speaker 2>It's fine. I was having buyer's remorse anyway. Tanner's just

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<v Speaker 2>some metal guy.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh I thought I recognized him.

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<v Speaker 2>You're on metal? Why haven't I ever seen you? Fuck?

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<v Speaker 1>I mean for sure, not because I blocked you or

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<v Speaker 1>anything like that. No, chalk it up to the algorithm.

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<v Speaker 3>Huh.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, metal is kind of mystifying. I've been on the

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<v Speaker 2>app a few months now and I still can't get

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<v Speaker 2>a handle on how it functions. What do you mean, Well,

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<v Speaker 2>it's not like Tinder, where you have to swipe right

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<v Speaker 2>with someone to match and start talking. But it's also

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<v Speaker 2>not like the other hookup apps where profiles are displayed

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<v Speaker 2>solely by proximity.

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<v Speaker 1>Wait, yeah, he's right. I can browse profiles in the

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<v Speaker 1>general area, but they don't ever seem to be sorted

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<v Speaker 1>by any kind of human logic. The metal algorithm is

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<v Speaker 1>an enema like that.

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<v Speaker 2>Ah shit, what Tanner left his fanny pack behind?

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<v Speaker 1>That guy brought a fanny pack to a hookup.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'm sure he'll be back for it anyway. Hi,

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<v Speaker 2>I haven't seen you in a minute.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I guess I have just been feeling kind of

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<v Speaker 1>bad about how everything went down between us last year.

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<v Speaker 2>And do you do you want something to drink?

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<v Speaker 4>Yes?

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<v Speaker 1>No, no, no, I just I need to get this out, Wade.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm really sorry for outing you. There's no excuse for that,

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<v Speaker 1>and it was unfair that you didn't get to come

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<v Speaker 1>out on your own terms. And I'm sorry.

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<v Speaker 2>Thanks accept your apology.

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<v Speaker 1>You do.

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<v Speaker 2>Sure, you're right, there is no excuse for what you did.

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<v Speaker 2>But I'd be lying if I said some people didn't

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<v Speaker 2>already know that about me. Really well, all the other

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<v Speaker 2>guys I was hooking up, we sure did, and there

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<v Speaker 2>were quite a few. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it

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<v Speaker 2>like that.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, all good.

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<v Speaker 2>So was there anything else?

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<v Speaker 1>Uh? I mean, I guess, not specifically. I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>It's just all the times I imagine this conversation in

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<v Speaker 1>my head. It didn't play so smoothly.

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<v Speaker 3>You know.

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<v Speaker 1>I always thought we'd really get into it. Get into it, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, like arguing about all the stuff between us

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<v Speaker 1>back then and the mistakes we both made that led.

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<v Speaker 2>Up to the mistakes we both made. I'm confused. Did

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<v Speaker 2>I out you too? No?

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<v Speaker 1>But you weren't completely blameless either, blameless in what now?

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<v Speaker 3>This is more like I imagined.

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<v Speaker 1>The entire thing, Wade, How you treated me, the way

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<v Speaker 1>I had to keep your secret, and it isolated me

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<v Speaker 1>from everyone the time we finally had sex.

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<v Speaker 2>If it was so isolating, why did you keep seeing me?

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<v Speaker 2>I don't recall anyone forcing you to reply to my texts?

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<v Speaker 1>You mean a text's giving me a six hour window

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<v Speaker 1>to be on standby for a quickie in case your

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<v Speaker 1>roommate's left. I've seen appliance delivery men give a narrower

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<v Speaker 1>time I'm window than you.

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<v Speaker 2>Did you? Did you have feelings for me last year?

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<v Speaker 1>Like positive ones?

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<v Speaker 2>Damien? I don't want to be pulled back into all

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<v Speaker 2>this negativity. I've done a lot of healing and growing

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<v Speaker 2>since then.

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<v Speaker 1>I've seen your growth. Every time you run a campus

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<v Speaker 1>fundraiser for LGBTQ health services, I see it. And every

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<v Speaker 1>time you hold a telethon for gay puppies on hospice care,

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<v Speaker 1>I see it. Anytime, Wade there's a reminder that you've

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<v Speaker 1>become a paragon of gay sainthood. Believe me, I see it.

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<v Speaker 2>What does that even mean? Are you angry that I

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<v Speaker 2>learned to love myself?

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, yes I am, because I don't get to love myself.

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<v Speaker 1>I've had to work so hard to not feel like

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<v Speaker 1>a used condom on the side of the road because

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<v Speaker 1>that's how you treated me.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, come on, that is such crab mentality.

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<v Speaker 1>What the fuck is that?

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<v Speaker 2>Stop? Damien? Just I accept your apology. Can we just

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<v Speaker 2>leave it at that?

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<v Speaker 4>Oh?

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<v Speaker 2>I get it. You didn't really come here to offer

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<v Speaker 2>an apology. You came to solicit one.

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<v Speaker 1>No, I just I came to boil the centipede?

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<v Speaker 2>Is that? Did you just reference those centipedes that you

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<v Speaker 2>have to boil or else they attract more.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like every time I've tried to write off or

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<v Speaker 1>justify what I did to you last year, it just

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<v Speaker 1>felt like I was squshing my problems, you know, pushing

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<v Speaker 1>them down, but in doing so, releasing pheromones to attract

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<v Speaker 1>even more problems.

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<v Speaker 2>So you came to boil the hatchet once and for all.

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<v Speaker 1>Wow, you picked up on that metaphor fast. It took

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<v Speaker 1>my psychiatrist like three sessions to get on board.

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<v Speaker 2>May I there was this guy that I knew last

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<v Speaker 2>year in a biblical sense, yes, but it wasn't just that.

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<v Speaker 2>He was the first guy that I ever developed actual

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<v Speaker 2>feelings for. And when I think about those days and

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<v Speaker 2>the way I treated people, because you're not completely wrong,

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<v Speaker 2>I could be kind of a dick. I think a

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<v Speaker 2>lot of it came from the pain of knowing this

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<v Speaker 2>guy didn't reciprocate my feelings and hating myself for thinking

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<v Speaker 2>that he ever would. I only bring him up because

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<v Speaker 2>the centipede thing reminded me.

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<v Speaker 1>Why was was he a bug?

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<v Speaker 4>What?

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<v Speaker 2>No? What he was? He was the one who told

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<v Speaker 2>me about it.

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<v Speaker 1>Wait, no, no way, there is no way.

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<v Speaker 2>The only reason I still remember about the stupid centipede

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<v Speaker 2>is because he read about it in the nat geo

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<v Speaker 2>he was holding when he broke it off with me.

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<v Speaker 1>No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

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<v Speaker 3>Is he talking?

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<v Speaker 1>I mean he can't be talked talking about There's no

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<v Speaker 1>way Santy and Wade were Oh, because if that were

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<v Speaker 1>the case, and Santy did end things with Wade, which

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<v Speaker 1>Wade himself just admitted turned him into an angry person,

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<v Speaker 1>could that mean and there it is who remembers the

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<v Speaker 1>word of the day Mony.

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<v Speaker 3>I can't handle it all at once.

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<v Speaker 1>It needs to stay separate Santy Popper's drama over there

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<v Speaker 1>and wade drama over here. I mean, even if we

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<v Speaker 1>sholve the immense jagged pain I feel at the thought

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<v Speaker 1>of Santy and Wade together, it had never occurred to

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<v Speaker 1>me that Wade could be involved in any of this, Damien.

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<v Speaker 1>And that's not even taking into account Elias's damning testimony

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<v Speaker 1>that Santy may actually have been producing the hookup himself.

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<v Speaker 1>If that does turn out to be the case, Wade's

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<v Speaker 1>association with Santy makes him doubles us.

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<v Speaker 2>Hey you okay.

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<v Speaker 1>Moreover, since I blocked him on Metal, Wade could be

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<v Speaker 1>on there pedaling the hookup with reckless abandon and I'd

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<v Speaker 1>have no way of seeing.

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<v Speaker 3>And if Wade did kidnap.

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<v Speaker 1>Or kill Santy, not to mention running a conversion popper scheme,

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<v Speaker 1>that would totally be a worse crime than me outing him, Damien.

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<v Speaker 1>If Wade is the mastermind and I can prove it

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<v Speaker 1>that I was never in the wrong with him, fuck yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>emotional maturity.

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<v Speaker 2>Are you all right, dude?

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<v Speaker 1>Sorry? Yeah, just fill in Migraine. Coming on, Actually, do

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<v Speaker 1>you do you have the advilla or anything?

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<v Speaker 2>Sure in the bathroom under the sink?

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<v Speaker 1>Could you get it for me?

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<v Speaker 2>Okay?

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<v Speaker 1>Thanks?

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<v Speaker 2>Hi, Damien, Chair chair chair Chair, Damian, What the fuck

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<v Speaker 2>are you doing?

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<v Speaker 1>Kind of an extreme reaction, I know, but there's no

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<v Speaker 1>time to play the long con with Wade. If he's

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<v Speaker 1>up to something sinister, I want to know now, Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>if I was a murderer and or bioterrorist, where would

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<v Speaker 1>I keep my incriminating clues?

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<v Speaker 2>Damien?

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<v Speaker 1>If you don't let me out, you're gonna what kill me? Oh?

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<v Speaker 2>Damian?

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<v Speaker 1>What are you doing looking under your mattress for clues?

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<v Speaker 1>Goodbye pillows, goodbye fanny pack. M I had high hopes

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<v Speaker 1>about that, Woof. I was so taken by the possibility

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<v Speaker 1>of Wade's guilt that I perhaps didn't think through the

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<v Speaker 1>scenario in which I lock him in the bathroom and

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<v Speaker 1>don't find any damning evidence. Ooh, Damien, you dunce way

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<v Speaker 1>to jump to conclusions. There's no way that Wade is.

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<v Speaker 2>Damien. Are you still there?

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<v Speaker 1>Under the desk right beside Wade's bed, I spot it,

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<v Speaker 1>even amidst the tornado of papers and debris I've created

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<v Speaker 1>in my search. That stout little cylinder is unmistakable a

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<v Speaker 1>popper bottle, a hookup bottle that's not gonna hold much longer.

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<v Speaker 1>And I don't want to be here when Wade gets free.

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<v Speaker 3>I've seen what I needed too. Could Wade really do

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<v Speaker 3>all this?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm here? What the fuck of me?

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<v Speaker 3>Oh?

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<v Speaker 1>My entire face stings. It's happening so fast I can't see.

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<v Speaker 1>All I can make out are the colors, big blotches

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<v Speaker 1>of pink and mustard, my stalker, Oh the fuck you

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<v Speaker 1>love me? That punch pulls me back, and my vision

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<v Speaker 1>sets clearly on my aggressor.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh yeah, that's the crustic bad mitten hoodie.

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<v Speaker 1>All right, I sprangle my left arm free and yank

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<v Speaker 1>down his hood to no avail. His face is concealed

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<v Speaker 1>under one of those black one way elastic masks. What

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<v Speaker 1>do you do.

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0:11:34.080 --> 0:11:35.959
<v Speaker 5>the customer comes first.

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<v Speaker 3>Have you ever been choked?

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<v Speaker 1>Not in a sex way, although I mean I do

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<v Speaker 1>have questions about that too, but no, I'm talking like,

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<v Speaker 1>full on I am going to murder you suffocation. My

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<v Speaker 1>situation right now isn't exactly that. I mean, I could

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<v Speaker 1>breathe in through my nose if I wanted to, but

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<v Speaker 1>that's not really an option, not when I know what

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<v Speaker 1>will happen to me if I do so. I start

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<v Speaker 1>to feel lightheaded, woozy, disconnected, like I'm drifting away. But

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<v Speaker 1>in this moment everything feels weirdly transparent, like I can

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<v Speaker 1>finally think clearly without all the mental clutter. And where

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<v Speaker 1>does my mind drift? Surprisingly? Not to Santy, not to Mateo,

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<v Speaker 1>Big Top or the hookup either, not even Wade, who

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<v Speaker 1>given the very recent discovery that he isn't my stalker.

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<v Speaker 1>I may have been too quick to brand the mastermind. No,

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<v Speaker 1>the only thing left inside my brain right now is.

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<v Speaker 3>Metal.

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<v Speaker 1>Still you hold your phone low and open up Metal,

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<v Speaker 1>the hookup app currently in vogue. I can browse profiles

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<v Speaker 1>in this general area, but they don't ever seem to

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<v Speaker 1>be sordid by any kind of human logic.

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<v Speaker 4>About two days after inhalation, the blackout started. I suddenly

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<v Speaker 4>come to with no recollection of the past hour or afternoon,

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<v Speaker 4>or even a full day.

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<v Speaker 3>But the notification tone rattles me to my court. It's

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<v Speaker 3>just so grated.

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<v Speaker 5>I heard the metal alert sound plays on an uncharted frequency.

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<v Speaker 2>Get the fuck out of here. Wait, dude, are you okay?

0:13:23.720 --> 0:13:24.640
<v Speaker 2>Who the fuck was that?

0:13:25.720 --> 0:13:28.000
<v Speaker 1>We have to stop him?

0:13:29.320 --> 0:13:31.440
<v Speaker 2>Which way did he You don't think you're stopping anything

0:13:31.559 --> 0:13:37.320
<v Speaker 2>right now except maybe breathing anyway, he's gone. Shit. You

0:13:37.360 --> 0:13:39.880
<v Speaker 2>need to tell me what's going on right fucking now?

0:13:42.240 --> 0:13:49.360
<v Speaker 1>Hello, There on the floor over by your bed.

0:13:47.800 --> 0:13:52.320
<v Speaker 2>This little bottle the hook up? Or are these poppers?

0:13:52.920 --> 0:13:53.680
<v Speaker 1>Why do you have that?

0:13:54.360 --> 0:13:57.760
<v Speaker 2>I don't, I mean it's not mine. Yeah, look I

0:13:57.760 --> 0:14:00.840
<v Speaker 2>think it fell from Tanner's fanny pack while you were

0:14:01.040 --> 0:14:02.400
<v Speaker 2>tearing apart my room.

0:14:03.040 --> 0:14:05.640
<v Speaker 1>I mean, if Tanner is a hive mind hookup goon.

0:14:05.720 --> 0:14:08.000
<v Speaker 1>It would explain how the stalker knew I was here.

0:14:08.640 --> 0:14:11.320
<v Speaker 2>What exactly is it you think I did? Is this

0:14:11.400 --> 0:14:15.640
<v Speaker 2>about Santi? Thought? So you got all weird when I

0:14:15.679 --> 0:14:17.240
<v Speaker 2>talked about him earlier, I.

0:14:17.320 --> 0:14:20.160
<v Speaker 1>Was being weird. You're the one hiding a secret history

0:14:20.200 --> 0:14:21.120
<v Speaker 1>with a missing person.

0:14:21.560 --> 0:14:24.800
<v Speaker 2>I wasn't hiding anything. I spoke to the police right

0:14:24.800 --> 0:14:27.360
<v Speaker 2>after Santi disappeared and told him everything I know.

0:14:29.680 --> 0:14:33.880
<v Speaker 1>Ugh, okay, but still, let's be one hundred percent sure

0:14:33.920 --> 0:14:36.960
<v Speaker 1>before clearing Wade's name. I feel like I was on

0:14:37.000 --> 0:14:39.240
<v Speaker 1>the verge of something back there, you know, when I

0:14:39.280 --> 0:14:42.720
<v Speaker 1>was being choked something about Metal and the night when

0:14:42.760 --> 0:14:47.280
<v Speaker 1>Big Top and p and Peter attacked me, I was struggling.

0:14:47.480 --> 0:14:50.400
<v Speaker 2>Ah, take a big with my.

0:14:50.400 --> 0:14:55.120
<v Speaker 3>Bra and then I got a Metal alert? Well what

0:14:55.440 --> 0:14:57.400
<v Speaker 3>just what is what is going on?

0:14:57.600 --> 0:14:59.920
<v Speaker 2>Who are you guys while you're my.

0:15:01.160 --> 0:15:04.240
<v Speaker 1>And that's when they became lucid and like snapped out

0:15:04.240 --> 0:15:07.240
<v Speaker 1>of the hookup trance. I can't put my finger on

0:15:07.480 --> 0:15:10.320
<v Speaker 1>how metal and the hookup are connected, but I'd wager

0:15:10.360 --> 0:15:13.440
<v Speaker 1>that the alert tone insight some sort of temporary reaction

0:15:13.600 --> 0:15:18.000
<v Speaker 1>from people under the Hive Mind's influence, which means there's

0:15:18.120 --> 0:15:20.240
<v Speaker 1>a very easy way to test if weight is one

0:15:20.240 --> 0:15:22.400
<v Speaker 1>of them.

0:15:22.440 --> 0:15:23.240
<v Speaker 2>What are you doing?

0:15:24.080 --> 0:15:28.480
<v Speaker 1>Okay, let's see who's online? Hmmm, oh this guy should do.

0:15:28.920 --> 0:15:31.400
<v Speaker 1>He's a forty year old commercial airline captain and his

0:15:31.520 --> 0:15:33.640
<v Speaker 1>username is backdoor Pilot.

0:15:34.920 --> 0:15:35.240
<v Speaker 3>Nice.

0:15:36.360 --> 0:15:38.040
<v Speaker 1>Hey there, how's it hanging?

0:15:39.600 --> 0:15:40.240
<v Speaker 3>Now? We wait?

0:15:40.840 --> 0:15:45.240
<v Speaker 2>Are you on metal right now? What the fuck is

0:15:45.280 --> 0:15:45.800
<v Speaker 2>wrong with you?

0:15:45.920 --> 0:15:46.280
<v Speaker 1>Damien?

0:15:47.040 --> 0:15:50.280
<v Speaker 2>You come over here unannounced in search of some misguided

0:15:50.400 --> 0:15:52.520
<v Speaker 2>come up, and and when you don't get it, you

0:15:52.520 --> 0:15:55.040
<v Speaker 2>lock me in a bathroom and start tearing my place apart.

0:15:55.360 --> 0:15:59.160
<v Speaker 2>Then after I rescue you from being fucking attacked, you

0:15:59.200 --> 0:16:00.720
<v Speaker 2>start browsing at dating app.

0:16:01.440 --> 0:16:01.800
<v Speaker 3>Wow.

0:16:02.240 --> 0:16:04.400
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I mean when you put it like that, I

0:16:04.520 --> 0:16:07.240
<v Speaker 1>really must seem.

0:16:06.800 --> 0:16:09.200
<v Speaker 2>What now you're not going to check that? A?

0:16:09.800 --> 0:16:10.760
<v Speaker 1>How do you feel?

0:16:11.960 --> 0:16:14.920
<v Speaker 2>How do I? How do I feel? Oh? You know?

0:16:15.040 --> 0:16:17.640
<v Speaker 2>Can't complain? Oh wait, yes I fucking can. What the

0:16:17.640 --> 0:16:18.960
<v Speaker 2>fuck is happening?

0:16:19.520 --> 0:16:21.280
<v Speaker 1>So you're like Lucid?

0:16:22.280 --> 0:16:25.560
<v Speaker 2>Unfortunately? Yes, dear god, I'm still very much present for

0:16:25.600 --> 0:16:26.280
<v Speaker 2>this conversation.

0:16:27.200 --> 0:16:32.600
<v Speaker 1>Alrighty, guess I misjudged Wade about being like hook up evil.

0:16:32.720 --> 0:16:36.480
<v Speaker 1>I was definitely right about him being a dick. She'sh

0:16:36.560 --> 0:16:40.280
<v Speaker 1>backdoor Pilot. Give it a rest. Oh, it's just another

0:16:40.320 --> 0:16:45.040
<v Speaker 1>ad for that sex shop on Metal? Yeah? Why is that?

0:16:45.120 --> 0:16:45.600
<v Speaker 1>Is that weird?

0:16:46.560 --> 0:16:49.880
<v Speaker 2>No? I guess not. I've just never seen ads on

0:16:49.960 --> 0:16:50.480
<v Speaker 2>there before.

0:16:51.480 --> 0:16:57.840
<v Speaker 1>Hmm up until today, neither had I. So so if

0:16:57.880 --> 0:17:01.400
<v Speaker 1>we follow this thread of metal intervention, what does it

0:17:01.480 --> 0:17:03.480
<v Speaker 1>mean that the app has been showing pap up ads

0:17:03.520 --> 0:17:07.960
<v Speaker 1>to me but not to Wade. The only explanation that

0:17:08.000 --> 0:17:10.240
<v Speaker 1>comes to mind is that they're not ads at all,

0:17:11.359 --> 0:17:17.200
<v Speaker 1>they're messages shock full of nuts there it is an

0:17:17.240 --> 0:17:23.440
<v Speaker 1>adult supply boutique on Locust Avenue? Is this where people

0:17:23.480 --> 0:17:24.040
<v Speaker 1>are buying the.

0:17:24.040 --> 0:17:27.920
<v Speaker 2>Hookup directions to a sex shop? Are you in heat?

0:17:28.760 --> 0:17:31.200
<v Speaker 1>Trust me, Wade? It is so in your best interest

0:17:31.240 --> 0:17:32.160
<v Speaker 1>to leave this alone.

0:17:32.640 --> 0:17:37.600
<v Speaker 2>This is about those paupers, isn't it? The hookup? Dude?

0:17:37.640 --> 0:17:40.960
<v Speaker 2>You're so easy to read. Finding the bottle in my

0:17:41.040 --> 0:17:44.080
<v Speaker 2>room is what made you think I'm dangerous? And that

0:17:44.160 --> 0:17:47.399
<v Speaker 2>guy who attacked you, he wasn't even covering your nose.

0:17:48.520 --> 0:17:51.280
<v Speaker 2>It was like he wasn't actually trying to hurt you.

0:17:51.840 --> 0:17:53.640
<v Speaker 2>He just wanted you to inhale the paupers.

0:17:53.920 --> 0:17:57.240
<v Speaker 1>This seriously doesn't concern you. Just go home and then

0:17:57.400 --> 0:17:58.320
<v Speaker 1>lock your door.

0:17:58.600 --> 0:18:02.600
<v Speaker 2>Right because that puts me at So there's got to

0:18:02.640 --> 0:18:06.200
<v Speaker 2>be something the faries about those paupers, and now you're

0:18:06.240 --> 0:18:10.640
<v Speaker 2>going to a sex shop to what investigate. I'm curious,

0:18:10.640 --> 0:18:12.080
<v Speaker 2>so how Sunthy fits into all this?

0:18:12.800 --> 0:18:13.800
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, take a number.

0:18:14.119 --> 0:18:17.159
<v Speaker 2>But if whatever you're doing right now is about Sunthy,

0:18:17.280 --> 0:18:18.280
<v Speaker 2>then I am coming with you.

0:18:18.320 --> 0:18:21.399
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, stop leave me alone. I preferred to

0:18:21.400 --> 0:18:24.240
<v Speaker 1>it when you were only metaphorically haunting me. You don't

0:18:24.240 --> 0:18:26.200
<v Speaker 1>know anything about what's going on here.

0:18:26.920 --> 0:18:30.000
<v Speaker 2>I know you're in trouble, and I know that, whether

0:18:30.119 --> 0:18:32.439
<v Speaker 2>or not it was my fault, I caused you a

0:18:32.440 --> 0:18:33.520
<v Speaker 2>lot of pain last year.

0:18:34.160 --> 0:18:36.320
<v Speaker 1>Oh that was a very vander Pump apology.

0:18:37.119 --> 0:18:42.240
<v Speaker 2>Wasn't an apology, just an acknowledgment, Okay, And I'd like

0:18:42.280 --> 0:18:43.000
<v Speaker 2>to make it up to you.

0:18:43.480 --> 0:18:47.160
<v Speaker 1>Well, unless you can return my virginity, don't bother fuck.

0:18:47.200 --> 0:18:53.200
<v Speaker 1>I said that out loud. I can't handle this. Which

0:18:53.240 --> 0:18:58.280
<v Speaker 1>thing you being nice to me? I imagine today going like

0:18:58.400 --> 0:19:01.280
<v Speaker 1>a thousand different ways. But the one constant in all

0:19:01.320 --> 0:19:03.040
<v Speaker 1>those scenarios was that you hated me.

0:19:04.160 --> 0:19:06.920
<v Speaker 2>Well, sorry to disappoint, but I don't hate you.

0:19:07.000 --> 0:19:11.159
<v Speaker 1>Well that's stupid. Where are you going to?

0:19:11.320 --> 0:19:12.720
<v Speaker 2>Chock full of nuts?

0:19:12.760 --> 0:19:13.080
<v Speaker 1>Still?

0:19:13.520 --> 0:19:17.120
<v Speaker 2>Whatever you're involved in is obviously dangerous, and don't take

0:19:17.160 --> 0:19:19.840
<v Speaker 2>this the wrong way, but I'm dubious that you're equipped

0:19:19.840 --> 0:19:20.639
<v Speaker 2>to handle it alone.

0:19:21.480 --> 0:19:22.919
<v Speaker 3>He's not completely wrong.

0:19:23.240 --> 0:19:26.000
<v Speaker 1>I mean, if Chok full of Nuts really is distributing

0:19:26.040 --> 0:19:28.920
<v Speaker 1>the hook up, then I'd be walking directly into the belly.

0:19:28.600 --> 0:19:29.119
<v Speaker 2>Of the beast.

0:19:29.960 --> 0:19:31.640
<v Speaker 3>It could be who of me to bring back up.

0:19:32.080 --> 0:19:34.480
<v Speaker 2>Plus, you don't have to worry about me getting hurt

0:19:35.119 --> 0:19:36.639
<v Speaker 2>because you don't even like me.

0:19:38.520 --> 0:19:41.879
<v Speaker 1>I mean, when you put it like that, like, I guess,

0:19:41.880 --> 0:19:44.119
<v Speaker 1>if you insist on following me, I can't stop you.

0:19:48.200 --> 0:19:50.720
<v Speaker 2>Do you remember the last time we took a walk

0:19:50.840 --> 0:19:53.720
<v Speaker 2>through campus together? That night I found you at the library.

0:19:54.680 --> 0:19:58.240
<v Speaker 1>Of course, incidentally, that was also the last time I

0:19:58.280 --> 0:19:59.040
<v Speaker 1>saw you left.

0:19:59.480 --> 0:20:02.760
<v Speaker 2>What no way? We hung out a bunch of times after.

0:20:02.560 --> 0:20:05.720
<v Speaker 1>That, Yeah, but you didn't laugh anymore. After you and

0:20:05.760 --> 0:20:07.879
<v Speaker 1>I hooked up on the baseball field that night, you

0:20:08.080 --> 0:20:10.600
<v Speaker 1>became a different person.

0:20:11.600 --> 0:20:13.040
<v Speaker 2>I did. Mm hm.

0:20:13.960 --> 0:20:16.760
<v Speaker 1>I used to rack my brain about that night, trying

0:20:16.800 --> 0:20:19.200
<v Speaker 1>to figure out what I did that was so off

0:20:19.240 --> 0:20:23.879
<v Speaker 1>putting or unsexy. Eventually I came to wonder if I

0:20:24.000 --> 0:20:27.160
<v Speaker 1>just reminded you of what you were running away from,

0:20:28.119 --> 0:20:29.440
<v Speaker 1>and you resented me for it.

0:20:30.720 --> 0:20:32.200
<v Speaker 2>You had me all figured out?

0:20:32.359 --> 0:20:34.160
<v Speaker 1>Huh, I thought, so.

0:20:37.400 --> 0:20:37.480
<v Speaker 3>What?

0:20:37.920 --> 0:20:42.200
<v Speaker 2>Oh, nothing is I was just remembering that night. You're

0:20:42.240 --> 0:20:43.520
<v Speaker 2>one hell at the third baseman.

0:20:44.080 --> 0:20:46.560
<v Speaker 1>Mama always used to say God gave me gumption in

0:20:46.600 --> 0:20:49.720
<v Speaker 1>place of a gag reflex. Uh, can we forget? I

0:20:49.760 --> 0:20:50.120
<v Speaker 1>said that?

0:20:50.160 --> 0:20:55.679
<v Speaker 2>Absolutely? So something really didn't tell you he and I

0:20:55.720 --> 0:20:56.320
<v Speaker 2>were hooking up?

0:20:57.560 --> 0:21:01.239
<v Speaker 1>Well, he and I weren't exclusive at the beginning, so

0:21:01.320 --> 0:21:03.679
<v Speaker 1>I mean, I guess he didn't have to tell me.

0:21:03.800 --> 0:21:07.160
<v Speaker 2>But it still hurts that all that time you thought

0:21:07.200 --> 0:21:09.760
<v Speaker 2>he was yours he was also.

0:21:11.560 --> 0:21:14.840
<v Speaker 1>That's right, I'm not the only one reeling from the

0:21:14.880 --> 0:21:18.639
<v Speaker 1>revelation that Santy had other toys wades in the exact

0:21:18.640 --> 0:21:21.480
<v Speaker 1>same boat. Did Santi tell you he was also hooking

0:21:21.560 --> 0:21:21.879
<v Speaker 1>up with me?

0:21:22.600 --> 0:21:24.920
<v Speaker 2>Must have slipped his mind there.

0:21:24.960 --> 0:21:27.919
<v Speaker 1>I was thinking you were the other guy, but to you,

0:21:28.680 --> 0:21:32.040
<v Speaker 1>I was the other guy. I guess we're all the

0:21:32.080 --> 0:21:35.400
<v Speaker 1>other guy to other guys. Hey, what did you mean

0:21:35.400 --> 0:21:37.520
<v Speaker 1>before when you said I had crab mentality?

0:21:37.840 --> 0:21:38.560
<v Speaker 2>Ah?

0:21:38.680 --> 0:21:38.760
<v Speaker 3>That?

0:21:40.200 --> 0:21:42.240
<v Speaker 2>Have you ever seen a bunch of crabs in a bucket?

0:21:42.840 --> 0:21:43.399
<v Speaker 1>Not lately?

0:21:43.560 --> 0:21:46.520
<v Speaker 2>No, it's kind of crazy, even though a handful of

0:21:46.560 --> 0:21:49.399
<v Speaker 2>them could probably climb atop the others and escape. No

0:21:49.560 --> 0:21:52.920
<v Speaker 2>crab ever makes it out of the bucket. Why not, Well,

0:21:53.000 --> 0:21:56.919
<v Speaker 2>because the others won't let them. Even though the escape

0:21:56.960 --> 0:21:59.240
<v Speaker 2>of Crab A has no effect on the fate of

0:21:59.280 --> 0:22:03.600
<v Speaker 2>crab B, crab still sabotages Crab A's efforts. And it's like,

0:22:04.400 --> 0:22:06.160
<v Speaker 2>it's like, if I can't escape, no one will.

0:22:07.040 --> 0:22:12.840
<v Speaker 1>That's petty as fuck. Oh oh, so, so your point

0:22:12.960 --> 0:22:15.320
<v Speaker 1>was that it's messed up for me to begrudge your

0:22:15.400 --> 0:22:19.440
<v Speaker 1>new found happiness just because I haven't found mine. Fuck,

0:22:19.480 --> 0:22:20.440
<v Speaker 1>I'm such a crab b.

0:22:21.040 --> 0:22:23.919
<v Speaker 2>We've all got a little crab b, you knows. I

0:22:23.960 --> 0:22:25.680
<v Speaker 2>guess that's why there's a term for it.

0:22:26.800 --> 0:22:29.440
<v Speaker 1>Man, If that's for anyone else but Wade, these crustacean

0:22:29.480 --> 0:22:30.680
<v Speaker 1>metaphors would really.

0:22:30.600 --> 0:22:34.800
<v Speaker 2>Have me going, what now you're looking at me? Weirdly?

0:22:35.359 --> 0:22:38.440
<v Speaker 1>Sorry, spaced out, Honestly, I was just thinking about how

0:22:38.440 --> 0:22:40.720
<v Speaker 1>crabs always walk sideways, and then trying to make a

0:22:40.800 --> 0:22:42.840
<v Speaker 1>joke about getting dick so good I can't walk straight.

0:22:43.480 --> 0:22:48.159
<v Speaker 1>Yeh shit. What we were like having an actual conversation

0:22:48.240 --> 0:22:53.080
<v Speaker 1>about about actual stuff and I made a joke, so

0:22:54.160 --> 0:22:56.119
<v Speaker 1>whole big thing. It's it's a problem I have.

0:22:56.880 --> 0:22:59.880
<v Speaker 2>Who said it's a problem.

0:22:59.000 --> 0:23:00.920
<v Speaker 1>Like most people in my life.

0:23:01.760 --> 0:23:10.360
<v Speaker 2>H I disagree for real five reel And all those

0:23:10.359 --> 0:23:12.720
<v Speaker 2>people who told you it was a problem probably just

0:23:12.760 --> 0:23:17.040
<v Speaker 2>punishing you because they don't possess such refined wit. Say,

0:23:17.119 --> 0:23:20.840
<v Speaker 2>is there a term for that? Ah? Shit?

0:23:21.040 --> 0:23:21.520
<v Speaker 1>We're here?

0:23:22.160 --> 0:23:25.440
<v Speaker 2>Damn When did sex shops start looking like apple stores?

0:23:26.280 --> 0:23:30.040
<v Speaker 1>Wade seems almost excited by this megalith of pleasure, But

0:23:30.280 --> 0:23:34.440
<v Speaker 1>I hang back a sec. I mean, at what point

0:23:34.440 --> 0:23:37.399
<v Speaker 1>did I stop hating him, that dumb little fire in

0:23:37.440 --> 0:23:40.280
<v Speaker 1>my chest reminding me just how hard I detest this boy.

0:23:41.359 --> 0:23:45.160
<v Speaker 1>It's kind of extinguished, which is as far as it's

0:23:45.160 --> 0:23:48.080
<v Speaker 1>going to go. I will not myself forgive him or

0:23:48.119 --> 0:23:52.520
<v Speaker 1>get attached because there's something I didn't have the heart

0:23:52.560 --> 0:23:55.760
<v Speaker 1>to tell Wade about his little crab mentality spiel earlier.

0:23:56.480 --> 0:23:57.840
<v Speaker 3>See, there's a flaw.

0:23:57.600 --> 0:23:59.919
<v Speaker 1>In the conclusion being drawn from this Crabs in the

0:24:00.000 --> 0:24:04.359
<v Speaker 1>Bucket experiment. Sure, the escape of Crab A won't directly

0:24:04.440 --> 0:24:08.080
<v Speaker 1>mean anything bad for Crab B. But if enough crabs escape,

0:24:08.119 --> 0:24:10.720
<v Speaker 1>the crab level in the bucket would eventually fall too

0:24:10.760 --> 0:24:13.480
<v Speaker 1>low for any more to reach the top. At a

0:24:13.520 --> 0:24:17.320
<v Speaker 1>certain point, stopping other crabs from escaping does preserve one's

0:24:17.320 --> 0:24:20.480
<v Speaker 1>own chance of survival. So it's not really correct to

0:24:20.520 --> 0:24:25.920
<v Speaker 1>say that crabs want others to fail purely out of spite. No,

0:24:26.880 --> 0:24:30.080
<v Speaker 1>I think in some situations, crab mentality is a vital

0:24:30.119 --> 0:24:33.480
<v Speaker 1>self preservation instinct. It's certainly what I'm holding on to

0:24:33.760 --> 0:24:39.359
<v Speaker 1>is Wade, and I approach this impending uncertainty because as

0:24:39.440 --> 0:24:41.919
<v Speaker 1>much as I hope it doesn't come to this, I

0:24:41.960 --> 0:24:45.600
<v Speaker 1>have to be ready, ready should the need arise to

0:24:45.720 --> 0:24:48.320
<v Speaker 1>throw him down and climb his shell out of the bucket.

0:24:48.880 --> 0:24:51.000
<v Speaker 1>And if that makes me an evil person, then fine.

0:24:52.280 --> 0:24:56.320
<v Speaker 1>But lest we forget, I am a Crustwick, Crustacean. So

0:24:56.359 --> 0:25:00.840
<v Speaker 1>what you call crab mentality, well, I just call it

0:25:00.920 --> 0:25:17.919
<v Speaker 1>School Spirit. Written and directed by Noah Feinberg. That's me,

0:25:18.400 --> 0:25:22.680
<v Speaker 1>sound design and score by Jeremiah Zimmerman, Starring Noah Feinberg.

0:25:22.960 --> 0:25:26.880
<v Speaker 1>That's Me as Damian Ray Santiago as Santy and Matteo,

0:25:27.240 --> 0:25:31.880
<v Speaker 1>Nico Greatham as Wade, Augustus Prue as Elias, Scott Evans

0:25:31.920 --> 0:25:35.359
<v Speaker 1>as Big Tough, Jeffrey Self as bell Boy, Tina Majorino

0:25:35.440 --> 0:25:38.280
<v Speaker 1>as Doctor Wiley, Obi A. Bailey as p n Peter

0:25:38.640 --> 0:25:43.240
<v Speaker 1>Gabrielle Ruiz as Joma Sadie Dickinson as Meg. Additional voices

0:25:43.320 --> 0:25:47.720
<v Speaker 1>by Megan Taylor Harvey, Susan C. Bennett, Verona blue Mark Bramhall,

0:25:47.920 --> 0:25:52.560
<v Speaker 1>Bryan Daniel Porter, Chris Dickey, Aaron Cooker, Christopher Corbin, Kiff,

0:25:52.640 --> 0:25:56.800
<v Speaker 1>Vanden Huevel, and Rhys Griffin. Opening theme by Alex Yoder,

0:25:57.119 --> 0:26:01.600
<v Speaker 1>Casting director Sonny Bowling and Meg Mormon. Executive producers from iHeart,

0:26:01.760 --> 0:26:05.960
<v Speaker 1>Trevor Young and Matt Frederick. Executive producers from Blumbhouse Chris

0:26:06.000 --> 0:26:10.560
<v Speaker 1>Sticky and Noah Feinberg. That's Me. Executive producers from Ember

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<v Speaker 1>twenty David Thwaites and Jimmy Jellina. Supervising producer Rachel Foley,

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<v Speaker 1>editor Noah Feinberg. That's Me,