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Speaker 1: The Hookup is a production of iHeart Podcasts, Blumhouse Television

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Speaker 1: and Ember twenty. Listener discretion is totally advised. Yes, you're

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Speaker 1: not Wade?

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Speaker 2: Correct?

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Speaker 1: Is Wade? Wade?

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Speaker 2: What is someone here? Damien?

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Speaker 1: Hide?

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Speaker 2: Wade?

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Speaker 1: Do you have a minute to talk?

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Speaker 2: Hello? Shirtless guy in the room. Does it look like

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Speaker 2: Wade has a minute to talk to you? Right?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll just come back later, Damien.

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Speaker 2: Hold on, Damn it so close, Tanner. I'm sorry to

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Speaker 2: do this, but can we take a rain check? Seriously?

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Speaker 1: Nice to meet you, Tanner. Sorry about that. I didn't

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Speaker 1: mean to interrupt anything.

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Speaker 2: It's fine. I was having buyer's remorse anyway. Tanner's just

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Speaker 2: some metal guy.

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Speaker 1: Oh I thought I recognized him.

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Speaker 2: You're on metal? Why haven't I ever seen you? Fuck?

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Speaker 1: I mean for sure, not because I blocked you or

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Speaker 1: anything like that. No, chalk it up to the algorithm.

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Speaker 3: Huh.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, metal is kind of mystifying. I've been on the

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Speaker 2: app a few months now and I still can't get

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Speaker 2: a handle on how it functions. What do you mean, Well,

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Speaker 2: it's not like Tinder, where you have to swipe right

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Speaker 2: with someone to match and start talking. But it's also

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Speaker 2: not like the other hookup apps where profiles are displayed

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Speaker 2: solely by proximity.

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Speaker 1: Wait, yeah, he's right. I can browse profiles in the

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Speaker 1: general area, but they don't ever seem to be sorted

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Speaker 1: by any kind of human logic. The metal algorithm is

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Speaker 1: an enema like that.

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Speaker 2: Ah shit, what Tanner left his fanny pack behind?

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Speaker 1: That guy brought a fanny pack to a hookup.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm sure he'll be back for it anyway. Hi,

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Speaker 2: I haven't seen you in a minute.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess I have just been feeling kind of

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Speaker 1: bad about how everything went down between us last year.

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Speaker 2: And do you do you want something to drink?

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Speaker 4: Yes?

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Speaker 1: No, no, no, I just I need to get this out, Wade.

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Speaker 1: I'm really sorry for outing you. There's no excuse for that,

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Speaker 1: and it was unfair that you didn't get to come

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Speaker 1: out on your own terms. And I'm sorry.

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Speaker 2: Thanks accept your apology.

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Speaker 1: You do.

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Speaker 2: Sure, you're right, there is no excuse for what you did.

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Speaker 2: But I'd be lying if I said some people didn't

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Speaker 2: already know that about me. Really well, all the other

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Speaker 2: guys I was hooking up, we sure did, and there

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Speaker 2: were quite a few. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it

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Speaker 2: like that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, all good.

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Speaker 2: So was there anything else?

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Speaker 1: Uh? I mean, I guess, not specifically. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: It's just all the times I imagine this conversation in

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Speaker 1: my head. It didn't play so smoothly.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 1: I always thought we'd really get into it. Get into it, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know, like arguing about all the stuff between us

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Speaker 1: back then and the mistakes we both made that led.

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Speaker 2: Up to the mistakes we both made. I'm confused. Did

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Speaker 2: I out you too? No?

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Speaker 1: But you weren't completely blameless either, blameless in what now?

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Speaker 3: This is more like I imagined.

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Speaker 1: The entire thing, Wade, How you treated me, the way

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Speaker 1: I had to keep your secret, and it isolated me

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Speaker 1: from everyone the time we finally had sex.

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Speaker 2: If it was so isolating, why did you keep seeing me?

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Speaker 2: I don't recall anyone forcing you to reply to my texts?

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Speaker 1: You mean a text's giving me a six hour window

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Speaker 1: to be on standby for a quickie in case your

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Speaker 1: roommate's left. I've seen appliance delivery men give a narrower

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Speaker 1: time I'm window than you.

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Speaker 2: Did you? Did you have feelings for me last year?

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Speaker 1: Like positive ones?

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Speaker 2: Damien? I don't want to be pulled back into all

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Speaker 2: this negativity. I've done a lot of healing and growing

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Speaker 2: since then.

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Speaker 1: I've seen your growth. Every time you run a campus

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Speaker 1: fundraiser for LGBTQ health services, I see it. And every

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Speaker 1: time you hold a telethon for gay puppies on hospice care,

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Speaker 1: I see it. Anytime, Wade there's a reminder that you've

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Speaker 1: become a paragon of gay sainthood. Believe me, I see it.

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Speaker 2: What does that even mean? Are you angry that I

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Speaker 2: learned to love myself?

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Speaker 1: Yes, yes I am, because I don't get to love myself.

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Speaker 1: I've had to work so hard to not feel like

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Speaker 1: a used condom on the side of the road because

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Speaker 1: that's how you treated me.

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Speaker 2: Oh, come on, that is such crab mentality.

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Speaker 1: What the fuck is that?

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Speaker 2: Stop? Damien? Just I accept your apology. Can we just

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Speaker 2: leave it at that?

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Speaker 4: Oh?

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Speaker 2: I get it. You didn't really come here to offer

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Speaker 2: an apology. You came to solicit one.

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Speaker 1: No, I just I came to boil the centipede?

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Speaker 2: Is that? Did you just reference those centipedes that you

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Speaker 2: have to boil or else they attract more.

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Speaker 1: It's like every time I've tried to write off or

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Speaker 1: justify what I did to you last year, it just

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Speaker 1: felt like I was squshing my problems, you know, pushing

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Speaker 1: them down, but in doing so, releasing pheromones to attract

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Speaker 1: even more problems.

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Speaker 2: So you came to boil the hatchet once and for all.

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Speaker 1: Wow, you picked up on that metaphor fast. It took

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Speaker 1: my psychiatrist like three sessions to get on board.

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Speaker 2: May I there was this guy that I knew last

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Speaker 2: year in a biblical sense, yes, but it wasn't just that.

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Speaker 2: He was the first guy that I ever developed actual

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Speaker 2: feelings for. And when I think about those days and

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Speaker 2: the way I treated people, because you're not completely wrong,

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Speaker 2: I could be kind of a dick. I think a

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Speaker 2: lot of it came from the pain of knowing this

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Speaker 2: guy didn't reciprocate my feelings and hating myself for thinking

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Speaker 2: that he ever would. I only bring him up because

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Speaker 2: the centipede thing reminded me.

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Speaker 1: Why was was he a bug?

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Speaker 4: What?

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Speaker 2: No? What he was? He was the one who told

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Speaker 2: me about it.

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Speaker 1: Wait, no, no way, there is no way.

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Speaker 2: The only reason I still remember about the stupid centipede

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Speaker 2: is because he read about it in the nat geo

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Speaker 2: he was holding when he broke it off with me.

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Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

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Speaker 3: Is he talking?

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Speaker 1: I mean he can't be talked talking about There's no

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Speaker 1: way Santy and Wade were Oh, because if that were

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Speaker 1: the case, and Santy did end things with Wade, which

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Speaker 1: Wade himself just admitted turned him into an angry person,

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Speaker 1: could that mean and there it is who remembers the

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Speaker 1: word of the day Mony.

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Speaker 3: I can't handle it all at once.

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Speaker 1: It needs to stay separate Santy Popper's drama over there

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Speaker 1: and wade drama over here. I mean, even if we

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Speaker 1: sholve the immense jagged pain I feel at the thought

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Speaker 1: of Santy and Wade together, it had never occurred to

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Speaker 1: me that Wade could be involved in any of this, Damien.

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Speaker 1: And that's not even taking into account Elias's damning testimony

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Speaker 1: that Santy may actually have been producing the hookup himself.

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Speaker 1: If that does turn out to be the case, Wade's

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Speaker 1: association with Santy makes him doubles us.

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Speaker 2: Hey you okay.

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Speaker 1: Moreover, since I blocked him on Metal, Wade could be

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Speaker 1: on there pedaling the hookup with reckless abandon and I'd

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Speaker 1: have no way of seeing.

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Speaker 3: And if Wade did kidnap.

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Speaker 1: Or kill Santy, not to mention running a conversion popper scheme,

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Speaker 1: that would totally be a worse crime than me outing him, Damien.

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Speaker 1: If Wade is the mastermind and I can prove it

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Speaker 1: that I was never in the wrong with him, fuck yeah,

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Speaker 1: emotional maturity.

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Speaker 2: Are you all right, dude?

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Speaker 1: Sorry? Yeah, just fill in Migraine. Coming on, Actually, do

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Speaker 1: you do you have the advilla or anything?

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Speaker 2: Sure in the bathroom under the sink?

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Speaker 1: Could you get it for me?

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Speaker 2: Okay?

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Speaker 1: Thanks?

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Speaker 2: Hi, Damien, Chair chair chair Chair, Damian, What the fuck

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Speaker 2: are you doing?

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Speaker 1: Kind of an extreme reaction, I know, but there's no

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Speaker 1: time to play the long con with Wade. If he's

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Speaker 1: up to something sinister, I want to know now, Okay,

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Speaker 1: if I was a murderer and or bioterrorist, where would

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Speaker 1: I keep my incriminating clues?

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Speaker 2: Damien?

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Speaker 1: If you don't let me out, you're gonna what kill me? Oh?

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Speaker 2: Damian?

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Speaker 1: What are you doing looking under your mattress for clues?

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Speaker 1: Goodbye pillows, goodbye fanny pack. M I had high hopes

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Speaker 1: about that, Woof. I was so taken by the possibility

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Speaker 1: of Wade's guilt that I perhaps didn't think through the

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Speaker 1: scenario in which I lock him in the bathroom and

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Speaker 1: don't find any damning evidence. Ooh, Damien, you dunce way

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Speaker 1: to jump to conclusions. There's no way that Wade is.

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Speaker 2: Damien. Are you still there?

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Speaker 1: Under the desk right beside Wade's bed, I spot it,

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Speaker 1: even amidst the tornado of papers and debris I've created

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Speaker 1: in my search. That stout little cylinder is unmistakable a

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Speaker 1: popper bottle, a hookup bottle that's not gonna hold much longer.

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Speaker 1: And I don't want to be here when Wade gets free.

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Speaker 3: I've seen what I needed too. Could Wade really do

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Speaker 3: all this?

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Speaker 1: I'm here? What the fuck of me?

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Speaker 3: Oh?

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Speaker 1: My entire face stings. It's happening so fast I can't see.

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Speaker 1: All I can make out are the colors, big blotches

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Speaker 1: of pink and mustard, my stalker, Oh the fuck you

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Speaker 1: love me? That punch pulls me back, and my vision

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Speaker 1: sets clearly on my aggressor.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, that's the crustic bad mitten hoodie.

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Speaker 1: All right, I sprangle my left arm free and yank

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Speaker 1: down his hood to no avail. His face is concealed

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Speaker 1: under one of those black one way elastic masks. What

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Speaker 1: do you do.

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Speaker 5: This? Episode is also brought to you by Chock full

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Speaker 5: of Nuts, your one stop shop for all things risky.

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Speaker 5: Located in scenic Ludlow Hills, this mom and pop adult

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Speaker 5: supply boutique is show and knock your socks off and

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Speaker 5: get your rocks off. Remember at Chalk full of Nuts,

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Speaker 5: the customer comes first.

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Speaker 3: Have you ever been choked?

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Speaker 1: Not in a sex way, although I mean I do

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Speaker 1: have questions about that too, but no, I'm talking like,

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Speaker 1: full on I am going to murder you suffocation. My

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Speaker 1: situation right now isn't exactly that. I mean, I could

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Speaker 1: breathe in through my nose if I wanted to, but

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Speaker 1: that's not really an option, not when I know what

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Speaker 1: will happen to me if I do so. I start

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Speaker 1: to feel lightheaded, woozy, disconnected, like I'm drifting away. But

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Speaker 1: in this moment everything feels weirdly transparent, like I can

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Speaker 1: finally think clearly without all the mental clutter. And where

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Speaker 1: does my mind drift? Surprisingly? Not to Santy, not to Mateo,

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Speaker 1: Big Top or the hookup either, not even Wade, who

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Speaker 1: given the very recent discovery that he isn't my stalker.

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Speaker 1: I may have been too quick to brand the mastermind. No,

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Speaker 1: the only thing left inside my brain right now is.

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Speaker 3: Metal.

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Speaker 1: Still you hold your phone low and open up Metal,

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00:12:43,559 --> 00:12:47,000
Speaker 1: the hookup app currently in vogue. I can browse profiles

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Speaker 1: in this general area, but they don't ever seem to

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Speaker 1: be sordid by any kind of human logic.

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Speaker 4: About two days after inhalation, the blackout started. I suddenly

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00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:04,360
Speaker 4: come to with no recollection of the past hour or afternoon,

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Speaker 4: or even a full day.

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Speaker 3: But the notification tone rattles me to my court. It's

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Speaker 3: just so grated.

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Speaker 5: I heard the metal alert sound plays on an uncharted frequency.

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Speaker 2: Get the fuck out of here. Wait, dude, are you okay?

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Speaker 2: Who the fuck was that?

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Speaker 1: We have to stop him?

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00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:31,440
Speaker 2: Which way did he You don't think you're stopping anything

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00:13:31,559 --> 00:13:37,320
Speaker 2: right now except maybe breathing anyway, he's gone. Shit. You

239
00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:39,880
Speaker 2: need to tell me what's going on right fucking now?

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Speaker 1: Hello, There on the floor over by your bed.

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Speaker 2: This little bottle the hook up? Or are these poppers?

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Speaker 1: Why do you have that?

243
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Speaker 2: I don't, I mean it's not mine. Yeah, look I

244
00:13:57,760 --> 00:14:00,840
Speaker 2: think it fell from Tanner's fanny pack while you were

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Speaker 2: tearing apart my room.

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Speaker 1: I mean, if Tanner is a hive mind hookup goon.

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Speaker 1: It would explain how the stalker knew I was here.

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Speaker 2: What exactly is it you think I did? Is this

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00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:15,640
Speaker 2: about Santi? Thought? So you got all weird when I

250
00:14:15,679 --> 00:14:17,240
Speaker 2: talked about him earlier, I.

251
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Speaker 1: Was being weird. You're the one hiding a secret history

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Speaker 1: with a missing person.

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Speaker 2: I wasn't hiding anything. I spoke to the police right

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Speaker 2: after Santi disappeared and told him everything I know.

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00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:33,880
Speaker 1: Ugh, okay, but still, let's be one hundred percent sure

256
00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:36,960
Speaker 1: before clearing Wade's name. I feel like I was on

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00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:39,240
Speaker 1: the verge of something back there, you know, when I

258
00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:42,720
Speaker 1: was being choked something about Metal and the night when

259
00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:47,280
Speaker 1: Big Top and p and Peter attacked me, I was struggling.

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Speaker 2: Ah, take a big with my.

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00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:55,120
Speaker 3: Bra and then I got a Metal alert? Well what

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Speaker 3: just what is what is going on?

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Speaker 2: Who are you guys while you're my.

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00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:04,240
Speaker 1: And that's when they became lucid and like snapped out

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00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:07,240
Speaker 1: of the hookup trance. I can't put my finger on

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00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:10,320
Speaker 1: how metal and the hookup are connected, but I'd wager

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00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:13,440
Speaker 1: that the alert tone insight some sort of temporary reaction

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00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:18,000
Speaker 1: from people under the Hive Mind's influence, which means there's

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Speaker 1: a very easy way to test if weight is one

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Speaker 1: of them.

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Speaker 2: What are you doing?

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00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:28,480
Speaker 1: Okay, let's see who's online? Hmmm, oh this guy should do.

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00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:31,400
Speaker 1: He's a forty year old commercial airline captain and his

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Speaker 1: username is backdoor Pilot.

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Speaker 3: Nice.

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00:15:36,360 --> 00:15:38,040
Speaker 1: Hey there, how's it hanging?

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00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:40,240
Speaker 3: Now? We wait?

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00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:45,240
Speaker 2: Are you on metal right now? What the fuck is

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00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:45,800
Speaker 2: wrong with you?

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Speaker 1: Damien?

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00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:50,280
Speaker 2: You come over here unannounced in search of some misguided

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00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:52,520
Speaker 2: come up, and and when you don't get it, you

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00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:55,040
Speaker 2: lock me in a bathroom and start tearing my place apart.

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00:15:55,360 --> 00:15:59,160
Speaker 2: Then after I rescue you from being fucking attacked, you

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Speaker 2: start browsing at dating app.

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00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:01,800
Speaker 3: Wow.

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00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:04,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean when you put it like that, I

288
00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:07,240
Speaker 1: really must seem.

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00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:09,200
Speaker 2: What now you're not going to check that? A?

290
00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:10,760
Speaker 1: How do you feel?

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00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:14,920
Speaker 2: How do I? How do I feel? Oh? You know?

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00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:17,640
Speaker 2: Can't complain? Oh wait, yes I fucking can. What the

293
00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:18,960
Speaker 2: fuck is happening?

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00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:21,280
Speaker 1: So you're like Lucid?

295
00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:25,560
Speaker 2: Unfortunately? Yes, dear god, I'm still very much present for

296
00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:26,280
Speaker 2: this conversation.

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00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:32,600
Speaker 1: Alrighty, guess I misjudged Wade about being like hook up evil.

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00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:36,480
Speaker 1: I was definitely right about him being a dick. She'sh

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00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:40,280
Speaker 1: backdoor Pilot. Give it a rest. Oh, it's just another

300
00:16:40,320 --> 00:16:45,040
Speaker 1: ad for that sex shop on Metal? Yeah? Why is that?

301
00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:45,600
Speaker 1: Is that weird?

302
00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:49,880
Speaker 2: No? I guess not. I've just never seen ads on

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00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:50,480
Speaker 2: there before.

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00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:57,840
Speaker 1: Hmm up until today, neither had I. So so if

305
00:16:57,880 --> 00:17:01,400
Speaker 1: we follow this thread of metal intervention, what does it

306
00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:03,480
Speaker 1: mean that the app has been showing pap up ads

307
00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:07,960
Speaker 1: to me but not to Wade. The only explanation that

308
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:10,240
Speaker 1: comes to mind is that they're not ads at all,

309
00:17:11,359 --> 00:17:17,200
Speaker 1: they're messages shock full of nuts there it is an

310
00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:23,440
Speaker 1: adult supply boutique on Locust Avenue? Is this where people

311
00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:24,040
Speaker 1: are buying the.

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00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:27,920
Speaker 2: Hookup directions to a sex shop? Are you in heat?

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00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:31,200
Speaker 1: Trust me, Wade? It is so in your best interest

314
00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:32,160
Speaker 1: to leave this alone.

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00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:37,600
Speaker 2: This is about those paupers, isn't it? The hookup? Dude?

316
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:40,960
Speaker 2: You're so easy to read. Finding the bottle in my

317
00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:44,080
Speaker 2: room is what made you think I'm dangerous? And that

318
00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:47,399
Speaker 2: guy who attacked you, he wasn't even covering your nose.

319
00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:51,280
Speaker 2: It was like he wasn't actually trying to hurt you.

320
00:17:51,840 --> 00:17:53,640
Speaker 2: He just wanted you to inhale the paupers.

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00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:57,240
Speaker 1: This seriously doesn't concern you. Just go home and then

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00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:58,320
Speaker 1: lock your door.

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00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:02,600
Speaker 2: Right because that puts me at So there's got to

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00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:06,200
Speaker 2: be something the faries about those paupers, and now you're

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00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:10,640
Speaker 2: going to a sex shop to what investigate. I'm curious,

326
00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:12,080
Speaker 2: so how Sunthy fits into all this?

327
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:13,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, take a number.

328
00:18:14,119 --> 00:18:17,159
Speaker 2: But if whatever you're doing right now is about Sunthy,

329
00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:18,280
Speaker 2: then I am coming with you.

330
00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:21,399
Speaker 1: Oh my god, stop leave me alone. I preferred to

331
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:24,240
Speaker 1: it when you were only metaphorically haunting me. You don't

332
00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:26,200
Speaker 1: know anything about what's going on here.

333
00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:30,000
Speaker 2: I know you're in trouble, and I know that, whether

334
00:18:30,119 --> 00:18:32,439
Speaker 2: or not it was my fault, I caused you a

335
00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:33,520
Speaker 2: lot of pain last year.

336
00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:36,320
Speaker 1: Oh that was a very vander Pump apology.

337
00:18:37,119 --> 00:18:42,240
Speaker 2: Wasn't an apology, just an acknowledgment, Okay, And I'd like

338
00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:43,000
Speaker 2: to make it up to you.

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00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:47,160
Speaker 1: Well, unless you can return my virginity, don't bother fuck.

340
00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:53,200
Speaker 1: I said that out loud. I can't handle this. Which

341
00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:58,280
Speaker 1: thing you being nice to me? I imagine today going like

342
00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:01,280
Speaker 1: a thousand different ways. But the one constant in all

343
00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:03,040
Speaker 1: those scenarios was that you hated me.

344
00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:06,920
Speaker 2: Well, sorry to disappoint, but I don't hate you.

345
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:11,159
Speaker 1: Well that's stupid. Where are you going to?

346
00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:12,720
Speaker 2: Chock full of nuts?

347
00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:13,080
Speaker 1: Still?

348
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:17,120
Speaker 2: Whatever you're involved in is obviously dangerous, and don't take

349
00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:19,840
Speaker 2: this the wrong way, but I'm dubious that you're equipped

350
00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:20,639
Speaker 2: to handle it alone.

351
00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:22,919
Speaker 3: He's not completely wrong.

352
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:26,000
Speaker 1: I mean, if Chok full of Nuts really is distributing

353
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:28,920
Speaker 1: the hook up, then I'd be walking directly into the belly.

354
00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:29,119
Speaker 2: Of the beast.

355
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:31,640
Speaker 3: It could be who of me to bring back up.

356
00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:34,480
Speaker 2: Plus, you don't have to worry about me getting hurt

357
00:19:35,119 --> 00:19:36,639
Speaker 2: because you don't even like me.

358
00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:41,879
Speaker 1: I mean, when you put it like that, like, I guess,

359
00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:44,119
Speaker 1: if you insist on following me, I can't stop you.

360
00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:50,720
Speaker 2: Do you remember the last time we took a walk

361
00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:53,720
Speaker 2: through campus together? That night I found you at the library.

362
00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:58,240
Speaker 1: Of course, incidentally, that was also the last time I

363
00:19:58,280 --> 00:19:59,040
Speaker 1: saw you left.

364
00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:02,760
Speaker 2: What no way? We hung out a bunch of times after.

365
00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:05,720
Speaker 1: That, Yeah, but you didn't laugh anymore. After you and

366
00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:07,879
Speaker 1: I hooked up on the baseball field that night, you

367
00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:10,600
Speaker 1: became a different person.

368
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:13,040
Speaker 2: I did. Mm hm.

369
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:16,760
Speaker 1: I used to rack my brain about that night, trying

370
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:19,200
Speaker 1: to figure out what I did that was so off

371
00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:23,879
Speaker 1: putting or unsexy. Eventually I came to wonder if I

372
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:27,160
Speaker 1: just reminded you of what you were running away from,

373
00:20:28,119 --> 00:20:29,440
Speaker 1: and you resented me for it.

374
00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:32,200
Speaker 2: You had me all figured out?

375
00:20:32,359 --> 00:20:34,160
Speaker 1: Huh, I thought, so.

376
00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:37,480
Speaker 3: What?

377
00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:42,200
Speaker 2: Oh, nothing is I was just remembering that night. You're

378
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:43,520
Speaker 2: one hell at the third baseman.

379
00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:46,560
Speaker 1: Mama always used to say God gave me gumption in

380
00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:49,720
Speaker 1: place of a gag reflex. Uh, can we forget? I

381
00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:50,120
Speaker 1: said that?

382
00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:55,679
Speaker 2: Absolutely? So something really didn't tell you he and I

383
00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:56,320
Speaker 2: were hooking up?

384
00:20:57,560 --> 00:21:01,239
Speaker 1: Well, he and I weren't exclusive at the beginning, so

385
00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:03,679
Speaker 1: I mean, I guess he didn't have to tell me.

386
00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:07,160
Speaker 2: But it still hurts that all that time you thought

387
00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:09,760
Speaker 2: he was yours he was also.

388
00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:14,840
Speaker 1: That's right, I'm not the only one reeling from the

389
00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:18,639
Speaker 1: revelation that Santy had other toys wades in the exact

390
00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:21,480
Speaker 1: same boat. Did Santi tell you he was also hooking

391
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:21,879
Speaker 1: up with me?

392
00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:24,920
Speaker 2: Must have slipped his mind there.

393
00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:27,919
Speaker 1: I was thinking you were the other guy, but to you,

394
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:32,040
Speaker 1: I was the other guy. I guess we're all the

395
00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:35,400
Speaker 1: other guy to other guys. Hey, what did you mean

396
00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:37,520
Speaker 1: before when you said I had crab mentality?

397
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:38,560
Speaker 2: Ah?

398
00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:38,760
Speaker 3: That?

399
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:42,240
Speaker 2: Have you ever seen a bunch of crabs in a bucket?

400
00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:43,399
Speaker 1: Not lately?

401
00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:46,520
Speaker 2: No, it's kind of crazy, even though a handful of

402
00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:49,399
Speaker 2: them could probably climb atop the others and escape. No

403
00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:52,920
Speaker 2: crab ever makes it out of the bucket. Why not, Well,

404
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:56,919
Speaker 2: because the others won't let them. Even though the escape

405
00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:59,240
Speaker 2: of Crab A has no effect on the fate of

406
00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:03,600
Speaker 2: crab B, crab still sabotages Crab A's efforts. And it's like,

407
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:06,160
Speaker 2: it's like, if I can't escape, no one will.

408
00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:12,840
Speaker 1: That's petty as fuck. Oh oh, so, so your point

409
00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:15,320
Speaker 1: was that it's messed up for me to begrudge your

410
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:19,440
Speaker 1: new found happiness just because I haven't found mine. Fuck,

411
00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:20,440
Speaker 1: I'm such a crab b.

412
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:23,919
Speaker 2: We've all got a little crab b, you knows. I

413
00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:25,680
Speaker 2: guess that's why there's a term for it.

414
00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:29,440
Speaker 1: Man, If that's for anyone else but Wade, these crustacean

415
00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:30,680
Speaker 1: metaphors would really.

416
00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:34,800
Speaker 2: Have me going, what now you're looking at me? Weirdly?

417
00:22:35,359 --> 00:22:38,440
Speaker 1: Sorry, spaced out, Honestly, I was just thinking about how

418
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:40,720
Speaker 1: crabs always walk sideways, and then trying to make a

419
00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:42,840
Speaker 1: joke about getting dick so good I can't walk straight.

420
00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:48,159
Speaker 1: Yeh shit. What we were like having an actual conversation

421
00:22:48,240 --> 00:22:53,080
Speaker 1: about about actual stuff and I made a joke, so

422
00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:56,119
Speaker 1: whole big thing. It's it's a problem I have.

423
00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:59,880
Speaker 2: Who said it's a problem.

424
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:00,920
Speaker 1: Like most people in my life.

425
00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:10,360
Speaker 2: H I disagree for real five reel And all those

426
00:23:10,359 --> 00:23:12,720
Speaker 2: people who told you it was a problem probably just

427
00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:17,040
Speaker 2: punishing you because they don't possess such refined wit. Say,

428
00:23:17,119 --> 00:23:20,840
Speaker 2: is there a term for that? Ah? Shit?

429
00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:21,520
Speaker 1: We're here?

430
00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:25,440
Speaker 2: Damn When did sex shops start looking like apple stores?

431
00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:30,040
Speaker 1: Wade seems almost excited by this megalith of pleasure, But

432
00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:34,440
Speaker 1: I hang back a sec. I mean, at what point

433
00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:37,399
Speaker 1: did I stop hating him, that dumb little fire in

434
00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:40,280
Speaker 1: my chest reminding me just how hard I detest this boy.

435
00:23:41,359 --> 00:23:45,160
Speaker 1: It's kind of extinguished, which is as far as it's

436
00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:48,080
Speaker 1: going to go. I will not myself forgive him or

437
00:23:48,119 --> 00:23:52,520
Speaker 1: get attached because there's something I didn't have the heart

438
00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:55,760
Speaker 1: to tell Wade about his little crab mentality spiel earlier.

439
00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:57,840
Speaker 3: See, there's a flaw.

440
00:23:57,600 --> 00:23:59,919
Speaker 1: In the conclusion being drawn from this Crabs in the

441
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:04,359
Speaker 1: Bucket experiment. Sure, the escape of Crab A won't directly

442
00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:08,080
Speaker 1: mean anything bad for Crab B. But if enough crabs escape,

443
00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:10,720
Speaker 1: the crab level in the bucket would eventually fall too

444
00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:13,480
Speaker 1: low for any more to reach the top. At a

445
00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:17,320
Speaker 1: certain point, stopping other crabs from escaping does preserve one's

446
00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:20,480
Speaker 1: own chance of survival. So it's not really correct to

447
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:25,920
Speaker 1: say that crabs want others to fail purely out of spite. No,

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Speaker 1: I think in some situations, crab mentality is a vital

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Speaker 1: self preservation instinct. It's certainly what I'm holding on to

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Speaker 1: is Wade, and I approach this impending uncertainty because as

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Speaker 1: much as I hope it doesn't come to this, I

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Speaker 1: have to be ready, ready should the need arise to

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Speaker 1: throw him down and climb his shell out of the bucket.

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Speaker 1: And if that makes me an evil person, then fine.

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Speaker 1: But lest we forget, I am a Crustwick, Crustacean. So

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Speaker 1: what you call crab mentality, well, I just call it

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Speaker 1: School Spirit. Written and directed by Noah Feinberg. That's me,

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Speaker 1: sound design and score by Jeremiah Zimmerman, Starring Noah Feinberg.

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Speaker 1: That's Me as Damian Ray Santiago as Santy and Matteo,

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Speaker 1: Nico Greatham as Wade, Augustus Prue as Elias, Scott Evans

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00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:35,359
Speaker 1: as Big Tough, Jeffrey Self as bell Boy, Tina Majorino

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00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:38,280
Speaker 1: as Doctor Wiley, Obi A. Bailey as p n Peter

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00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:43,240
Speaker 1: Gabrielle Ruiz as Joma Sadie Dickinson as Meg. Additional voices

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Speaker 1: by Megan Taylor Harvey, Susan C. Bennett, Verona blue Mark Bramhall,

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Speaker 1: Bryan Daniel Porter, Chris Dickey, Aaron Cooker, Christopher Corbin, Kiff,

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Speaker 1: Vanden Huevel, and Rhys Griffin. Opening theme by Alex Yoder,

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Speaker 1: Casting director Sonny Bowling and Meg Mormon. Executive producers from iHeart,

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Speaker 1: Trevor Young and Matt Frederick. Executive producers from Blumbhouse Chris

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Speaker 1: Sticky and Noah Feinberg. That's Me. Executive producers from Ember

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Speaker 1: twenty David Thwaites and Jimmy Jellina. Supervising producer Rachel Foley,

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Speaker 1: editor Noah Feinberg. That's Me,