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Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. Hi, everyone,

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Speaker 1: welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast is all about

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Speaker 1: the choices we make and where they lead us. You know,

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Speaker 1: I love this podcast because I love getting to hear

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Speaker 1: from all different types of people and learning about them

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Speaker 1: and learning things from them. And today I'm so excited

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Speaker 1: to sit down and chat with my guests because she

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Speaker 1: is absolutely incredible. She's a comedian, television host, six time

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Speaker 1: six time you Guys, New York Times best selling author,

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Speaker 1: about to be seven I'm Predicting, and an advocate. Her

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Speaker 1: new book, I'll Have What She's Having, comes out on

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Speaker 1: her birthday February twenty fifth. Please welcome my friend Chelsea

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Speaker 1: Handler to the podcast.

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Speaker 2: Hi, Chelsea, I.

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Speaker 1: Was recently on your podcast.

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Speaker 2: Which way was a huge hit. I was, Yeah, people

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Speaker 2: loved it.

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Speaker 3: People conversation around you talking about your like your marriage

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Speaker 3: and I'm your current husband, current husband.

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Speaker 1: Your husband, I say that too, it's okay.

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Speaker 3: Knowing what he signed up for and then kind of

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Speaker 3: being like, wait a second, is this my new life?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, people loved it.

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Speaker 3: I got so many comments about it, and there was

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Speaker 3: so we had a great conversation.

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Speaker 2: We did.

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Speaker 1: I loved it, but we were talking a lot about me,

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Speaker 1: and today I just want to talk about you because

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Speaker 1: you have a book coming out on your birthday. How

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Speaker 1: perfect is that timed?

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Speaker 2: Yes, that's perfectly timed.

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Speaker 1: I'll have what she's having. Yes, tell me why, Okay,

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Speaker 1: tell me why that title? I know that title is

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Speaker 1: a line from Harry met Sally. What a great scene,

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Speaker 1: What a great line. Did it have anything to do

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Speaker 1: with that or just come from a different it?

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Speaker 2: Did you know? My I gave the book when I

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Speaker 2: was done with it.

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Speaker 3: We were trying to fish around for a title, and

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Speaker 3: I had given it to my editor obviously and some

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Speaker 3: other people in my life.

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Speaker 2: And my editor came back and she's like, I think

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Speaker 2: the titles. I'll have what she's having. And I'm like,

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Speaker 2: I can't name a book that about my own story.

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Speaker 2: What is that? And she said, no, that's how you

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Speaker 2: feel after you're done reading it. I want what you have.

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Speaker 3: And I was like, oh, and she's like, and there's

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Speaker 3: a Halle Harry Matt Sally reference.

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Speaker 2: It's kind of like it had a double and you

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Speaker 2: had a real meeting and then it had a kind

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Speaker 2: of referential meeting. And I was like oh oh, and

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Speaker 2: then I was like I love that. I love that.

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Speaker 2: I want to give representing what I have. So that's

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Speaker 2: where your.

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Speaker 1: Editor is a genius. That is so exactly how I felt.

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Speaker 1: I was reading your book last night, speed reading some

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Speaker 1: of it and reading all of it like I couldn't

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Speaker 1: get enough. I didn't want to stop before the beginning

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Speaker 1: of this podcast, so I will complete it. But that's

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Speaker 1: how I felt. I felt like I want what Chelsea has.

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Speaker 1: I want to be free to make my own decisions,

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Speaker 1: not have to like worry about a husband or kids,

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Speaker 1: all the things that can strain us in certain ways.

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Speaker 1: But you have always lived your life the way you've

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Speaker 1: wanted to and that is what's so beautiful about you,

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Speaker 1: and it's magnetic.

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Speaker 2: Thank you, Thank you so much.

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Speaker 3: I think that you know, if you can inspire other

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Speaker 3: people to like, feel or think something, then I would

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Speaker 3: want to inspire people to feel just more empowered about

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Speaker 3: who you are, like how special you are being you,

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Speaker 3: Like each one of us is so special, so individual,

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Speaker 3: and we all have a purpose. And as soon as

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Speaker 3: you nail down what that purpose is, and you nail

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Speaker 3: down your strengths and weaknesses, like you.

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Speaker 2: Can soar it's sore like an eagle.

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Speaker 1: Do you think you only get that sort of awareness

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Speaker 1: at fifty Did you have that at forty eight?

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Speaker 2: Ah? Good, cush, good question.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I think therapy helps a lot with the

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Speaker 3: gift of self awareness, right. I think as soon as

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Speaker 3: you start going to therapy and finding out that you're

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Speaker 3: not everything you thought you were, you're like, oh, whoopsie doodle,

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Speaker 3: I had no idea I was a bitch, a cunt

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Speaker 3: to all of the things that you know could be

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Speaker 3: attributed to me, or that I was nasty, or that

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Speaker 3: I inserted myself into situations where no one ask my opinion,

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Speaker 3: that I gave unsolicited advice all the time, as soon

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Speaker 3: as I had someone who wasn't involved in my life

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Speaker 3: give it to me straight and in a gentle, loving way,

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Speaker 3: of course, because otherwise, you know, it's therapy, that's they're

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Speaker 3: going to tell you in a nice way, right, But

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Speaker 3: as soon as you get the gift of self awareness,

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Speaker 3: then it's really up.

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Speaker 2: To you, like, what what are you going to do

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Speaker 2: with now?

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Speaker 3: What are you going to do now that you know

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Speaker 3: how you're coming across that you're not just crushing it

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Speaker 3: all the time, that sometimes you hurt people's feelings. Sometimes

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Speaker 3: you're hurtful to yourself sometimes, you know, like all of

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Speaker 3: the things you kind of want to know about yourself

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Speaker 3: but without being told.

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Speaker 1: Wait, your therapist told you these things, Like in a session,

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Speaker 1: we just we just.

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Speaker 3: Talked about my behavior a lot, and like the way

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Speaker 3: that I've gotten through life up until then. You know,

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Speaker 3: I didn't go to therapy until I was like forty,

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Speaker 3: and then I went real seriously for about two years,

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Speaker 3: and that was just a big gift of wake the

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Speaker 3: fuck up and take a look at yourself, like you're.

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Speaker 2: Not all that you think you are, You're more.

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Speaker 3: And less like and take an honest kind of inventory

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Speaker 3: of the things that you're doing that are working for

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Speaker 3: you and the things that you're doing that aren't working

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Speaker 3: for you, and also how are you impacting others?

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Speaker 1: And who do you want to be moving forward? Because

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Speaker 1: this is like a time when you can do and

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Speaker 1: be anything.

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Speaker 3: Yes, And I think that's something that we also, like

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Speaker 3: we don't ever talk about that, Like you and I

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Speaker 3: have never sat down and been like, what did you

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Speaker 3: want to be when you grew up? You ask little

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Speaker 3: girls all the time, what do you want to be

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Speaker 3: when you grow up.

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Speaker 2: You don't go what kind of person do you want

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Speaker 2: to be when you grow up? You know? What kind

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Speaker 2: of like? And and and we don't.

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Speaker 3: We rarely check in and say, oh, how am I doing?

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Speaker 3: Where am I in life? Is this what I wanted?

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Speaker 3: What am I looking for?

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Speaker 2: Like? How am I achieving my goals? Or am I

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Speaker 2: way off track?

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Speaker 3: And so the book starts out with this kind of

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Speaker 3: me reflecting when I was a little girl to thinking

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Speaker 3: about all of the things that I wanted to be

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Speaker 3: as a woman. You know, I wanted to be loud

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Speaker 3: and brave and stand up for people, and I wanted

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Speaker 3: to have lots of lovers, and I wanted to have

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Speaker 3: I speak languages and travel and I wanted to be sophisticated.

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Speaker 3: And and you know, we forget when we go through life.

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Speaker 2: We forget to check.

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Speaker 3: In with that little girl and like her dreams and

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Speaker 3: to find out, Wait, am I doing what I dreamt

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Speaker 3: I was going to be doing?

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Speaker 2: Am I doing more? Am I doing less? Am I

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Speaker 2: on track? You know?

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Speaker 3: We fall off track all the time too, and it's

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Speaker 3: up to us to get back on track. So yeah,

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Speaker 3: you really, I mean, being fifty is fucking awesome.

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Speaker 2: I'm about fifty and I.

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Speaker 3: Can't tell you how grateful I am that I have

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Speaker 3: all this knowledge about myself because now I have all

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Speaker 3: this data to show you're the one who got you

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Speaker 3: all this way, so you don't have to worry about

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Speaker 3: you anymore.

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Speaker 1: You've said in the book too, two steps forward, three

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Speaker 1: steps back, Like, just because you have this great self

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Speaker 1: awareness now and you've learned all this wonderful stuff about

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Speaker 1: yourself moving forward, it doesn't mean you're going to fuck

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Speaker 1: up sometimes, and you know your old habits are going

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Speaker 1: to come. Like just ten minutes ago, I was an asshole,

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Speaker 1: and I you know, I'm like, ah, I don't want

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Speaker 1: to do this. I don't want to be go to

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Speaker 1: those old habits of ways that I handle things all

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Speaker 1: the time. But in those moments, you're like, oh, it's

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Speaker 1: rising in me. You know.

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Speaker 2: It's funny you say that because the other day I'm

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Speaker 2: dealing with this shoulder.

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Speaker 3: I just had shoulder surgery because they found I found

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Speaker 3: an infection in my shoulder, and it was like.

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Speaker 2: I was supposed to be up skiing. My whole schedule's

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Speaker 2: all fucked up, you know, and.

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Speaker 3: I have to stay home in LA after the fires,

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Speaker 3: which is obviously so depressing, and god, I have a house,

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Speaker 3: but you know, I just wanted to be in my

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Speaker 3: special place and it just kind of thwarted all my plans.

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Speaker 3: And I was like, Okay, here's a perfect opportunity for

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Speaker 3: you not to be a bitch, to have all of

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Speaker 3: your plans up ended, but to still have gratitude.

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Speaker 2: You know what I mean.

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Speaker 3: Be grateful that you found it, that they got, the

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Speaker 3: that they caught, the affection.

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Speaker 2: That you're not more sick. And also be kind to

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Speaker 2: people when you're in pain.

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Speaker 3: Because I was shuffling around from doctor to doctor and

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Speaker 3: I was being short and I was just like not

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Speaker 3: making eye contact, and I caught myself and I was like, Okay,

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Speaker 3: here's the next level challenge. Can you be nicer to

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Speaker 3: people when you are in pain? And my friend's like,

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Speaker 3: you don't have to be nice to people when you're

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Speaker 3: in pain. I'm like, I know, but that's another level

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Speaker 3: that I'd like to get to. I would like to

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Speaker 3: be nice to people when I'm in pain. It's easy

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Speaker 3: to be nice to people when you feel great, but

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Speaker 3: it's harder to be nicer to people when you don't

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Speaker 3: feel great.

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Speaker 2: So that's my next challenge.

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Speaker 3: So you know, the next day I was like, okay,

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Speaker 3: everything today, be nice, be respectful, make eye contact please,

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Speaker 3: and thank you to everyone. It doesn't matter what kind

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Speaker 3: of paying you're in, you know, just kind of stuff

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Speaker 3: like that, like self awareness. Nobody tells you about self

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Speaker 3: awareness when you're a kid or a teenager. We are

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Speaker 3: so stupid and blinded and we're so wrapped up in

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Speaker 3: ourselves and have our friends so far enough, so far

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Speaker 3: up our own assholes that it's like, it is the best.

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Speaker 3: The best gift you can have is someone pointing out

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Speaker 3: your shortcomings.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely. That's like one of the things when you have

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Speaker 1: a spouse or partner or somebody there's supposed to be

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Speaker 1: like a mirror of you, and they hold you up

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Speaker 1: to see yourself. How you don't see yourself and sometimes

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Speaker 1: you don't. It's not something pretty that you want to

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Speaker 1: look at. And that's the time you need to do

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Speaker 1: that reaching and that growing. Yeah, you think it's good

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Speaker 1: that you're like Also, every day is a new chance.

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Speaker 1: You were like short and cold yesterday, but that doesn't

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Speaker 1: mean today you have to keep doing it that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Like the other day, just everything that could go

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Speaker 2: wrong went wrong went wrong. Went wrong, and I was like,

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Speaker 2: it's like, whack a mole, this fucking what is this?

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Speaker 2: And then finally I was like, you know what, go

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Speaker 2: take an edible, go up to your room. I also

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Speaker 2: have Viking in because of my surgery.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, have a little party and then go to

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Speaker 3: bed and try again tomorrow.

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Speaker 2: Just try again tomorrow.

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Speaker 3: No more contact with any other people, Like there's no

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Speaker 3: more reason to communicate, right, I need a time out.

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Speaker 1: You did give yourself a time out. That's so smart.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god. So turning fifty, what do you think

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Speaker 1: you've learned from other women? What that looks like, or

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Speaker 1: what maybe you want out of it?

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Speaker 3: I think the most, Like I've been asking a lot

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Speaker 3: of my friends because obviously a lot of my friends

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Speaker 3: are the same age or half turned fifty, you know,

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Speaker 3: because everyone always asked that question, what is it?

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Speaker 2: You know?

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Speaker 3: And you kind of hear these boring answers all the time,

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Speaker 3: like I feel great.

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Speaker 1: I don't give a fuck what anybody thinks.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, I've heard that so many times. It's

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Speaker 2: not that interesting.

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Speaker 3: But I think one of the like the most interesting

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Speaker 3: things I've heard said about it is you spend your

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Speaker 3: twenties and thirties and worried so much about what you've done,

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Speaker 3: the mistakes you've made, and what you need to do

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Speaker 3: and not to fuck up in the future. Like we're

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Speaker 3: so busy about the past and the future that we're

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Speaker 3: not as present. And I think one of the benefits

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Speaker 3: of aging is that you become more and more present.

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Speaker 3: And when you are present, those are the moments of

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Speaker 3: like bliss that you get, the moments of joyfulness that

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Speaker 3: are like I love this moment.

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Speaker 2: Or like where you know, you make up.

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Speaker 3: I don't even drink coffee, but waking up and walking

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Speaker 3: into a kitchen and getting a warm cup of coffee

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Speaker 3: and actually being like joyful about that experience. As corny

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Speaker 3: as that may sound, when you practice that, you can

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Speaker 3: have that like fifty one hundred times a day, right,

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Speaker 3: you can and be like, oh my god, and my

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Speaker 3: bed is so comfortable. You know, this vicodin feels so good.

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Speaker 3: You know my dog, like, how good looking my dog is.

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Speaker 3: He's so beautiful.

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Speaker 2: I'm so proud of his good looks. Like all of

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Speaker 2: those things.

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Speaker 3: When you make it a pattern of behavior, it becomes

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Speaker 3: a pattern of behavior, and you actually do become you

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Speaker 3: kind of infect people with your optimism and like it's

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Speaker 3: powerful and I wish that's something I didn't know about.

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Speaker 2: I didn't know about gratitude in my thirties, yeah, there

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Speaker 2: are my forties. Quite frankly, until my late forties, you

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Speaker 2: know and practice it. I was like, oh, that's annoying.

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Speaker 3: That's like chakras and reiki, and I don't care about

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Speaker 3: those things either. But now I know, and I know

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Speaker 3: the difference it makes, so it's like it's up there

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Speaker 3: on my list.

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Speaker 1: That's great.

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Speaker 2: I don't make lists, ever, so I shouldn't even pretend.

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Speaker 1: So much better way to go about your day feeling

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Speaker 1: grateful and seeing what comes to you because of just that,

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Speaker 1: just being grateful for.

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Speaker 3: Something grateful, and when you're really stuck in it, when

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Speaker 3: you're really stuck in your own pity party, reach out

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Speaker 3: and help somebody else, because that gets you right out

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Speaker 3: of your own ass when you reach out to someone.

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Speaker 3: And now with everything that's happened in LA and the fires,

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Speaker 3: there are so many people you can help. I immediately

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Speaker 3: focus on other people when I'm starting to feel sorry

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Speaker 3: for myself or like insurmountable, which nothing really is.

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Speaker 1: I mean, in reading your book too, I saw all

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Speaker 1: the opportunities that you've had to help other people, how

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Speaker 1: many lives you've changed and enriched, and how generous you are.

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Speaker 1: And I think I didn't know those things about you,

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Speaker 1: quite honestly, and now I kind of have a completely

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Speaker 1: different perspective and like like feeling about you after reading

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Speaker 1: this book for some reason, Oh wow, I feel like

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Speaker 1: I feel closer to you.

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Speaker 2: Oh thank you. That's nice to hear.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, are you clear on what you're meant to do

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Speaker 1: now moving forward? Have you had that moment where you're like, ah.

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Speaker 3: I'm clear on Like the best version of me is

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Speaker 3: when I'm speaking for others, you know, like highlighting others,

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Speaker 3: sharing light, not being selfish with any of the things

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Speaker 3: that I have, whether it's my time, whether it's financials,

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Speaker 3: whether it's you.

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Speaker 2: Know, like a spotlight on me. Like I know now that.

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Speaker 3: Like generosity is the key ingredient to like being happy,

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Speaker 3: to be generous and to be like greedy and to

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Speaker 3: be selfish is like that nothing ends well when those

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Speaker 3: two things are at playing right, Like, no one feels good.

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Speaker 3: There's never a good story about being selfish. No one's

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Speaker 3: ever like and they were really selfish and they lived

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Speaker 3: happily ever after.

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Speaker 2: But I think also, like I just I'm just getting

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Speaker 2: so much better at being who I am.

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Speaker 3: And I'm also you know, everyone could argue that I

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Speaker 3: never gave a fuck about anybody in the first place,

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Speaker 3: because that's how people perceive me.

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Speaker 2: Right, I don't know, but I really don't give a

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Speaker 2: fuck now, Like I really don't.

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Speaker 3: Like I'm so square with myself and what I the

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Speaker 3: lengths I've gone to for people and what I'm not

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Speaker 3: that you can't hurt me.

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Speaker 1: What a great place to be. I love that. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so you dedicated this book to flight attendants.

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Speaker 3: Tell me why, because I feel like flight attendants really

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Speaker 3: need some more respect.

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Speaker 2: They have been.

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Speaker 3: Through COVID with people who refuse to wear masks as

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Speaker 3: if the flight attendants are making these rules. They have

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Speaker 3: endured people walking barefoot, playing with their toes, picking their

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Speaker 3: toes on planes.

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Speaker 2: They have endured people.

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Speaker 1: Faring in their sleeves shellfish my friend, my co host

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Speaker 1: on my podcast, well farting.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, farting. But we're all tolerating that. So that's just

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Speaker 3: a flight thing, which I actually read about the other day.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, well this I was waiting to read

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Speaker 3: about this. Obviously, the air pressure in the cabin makes

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Speaker 3: everybody fart, because why farting on planes in the first place.

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Speaker 2: But my producer on my podcast, Catherine whom you met?

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Speaker 2: She when I met.

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Speaker 3: Her, she traveled on planes with hard boiled eggs, eggs

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Speaker 3: on planes.

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Speaker 1: And I was friend.

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Speaker 2: First of all, I don't even want to know you anymore.

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Speaker 2: I'm not sure.

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Speaker 3: Secondly, if you're going to bring a hard boiled egg anywhere,

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Speaker 3: and you shouldn't.

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Speaker 2: If you are, you need to swallow it whole. You

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Speaker 2: can't bring it out.

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Speaker 3: Take a bite of it, and then that air emit

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Speaker 3: like you have to swallow it.

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Speaker 2: Whole, like they did in the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

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Speaker 2: Remember when she was coming. Oh no, that was airplane

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Speaker 2: in the movie when the end's just.

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Speaker 1: Different movie.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, yeah, But I think flight attendants.

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Speaker 3: I spend so much of my life on planes, and

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Speaker 3: they make the biggest difference in your travel. It's so

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Speaker 3: nice to have a great flight attendant and more drop in.

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Speaker 2: They are great. I've only ran into a couple of

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Speaker 2: duds in all the time. I mean, I would I would.

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Speaker 3: Argue that I spend a third of my life on planes,

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Speaker 3: and they just really make everything better and nicer and there,

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Speaker 3: and they just really deserve our respect.

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Speaker 2: There are babysitters in the sky and they're stuck with us.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely. Yeah, I love flight attendants too. You're talking your

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Speaker 1: book about boundaries and about friend breakups. Those are two

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Speaker 1: big topics. I think as we aged, we're going to

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Speaker 1: run into these things. Boundaries isn't all your whole life

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Speaker 1: kind of thing. But as for friend breakups, what have

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Speaker 1: they taught you?

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Speaker 3: Well? I think a lot of boundary the lack of

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Speaker 3: boundary making can lead to a lot of friendship breaking,

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Speaker 3: you know, I think boundaries go hand. I've never been

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Speaker 3: good at boundaries. I didn't have any boundaries growing up.

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Speaker 3: I ignored them when they were, you know, introduced to me.

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Speaker 2: I've never said that's.

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Speaker 3: Too much, or you're too close, or this is I'm

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Speaker 3: like the opposite of a boundary, you know, whatever that is.

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Speaker 3: So I've had to really learn that lesson probably seventy

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Speaker 3: five thousand times in my life.

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Speaker 2: But I don't know that I'll ever.

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Speaker 3: Change that part of me because I don't hate that

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Speaker 3: part of me, you know. I like the fact that

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Speaker 3: I'm kind of open and like come on you come

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Speaker 3: to the party too. I like that I bring my

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Speaker 3: driver in to watch a movie at my friend's house

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Speaker 3: or to a funeral. I mean a lot of people

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Speaker 3: think it's too much, and like, no, everybody, you know, Chelsea,

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Speaker 3: it's too much.

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Speaker 2: I like that. I think it's kind of fun to

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Speaker 2: like live life and and be that way.

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Speaker 1: But but the lack.

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Speaker 3: Of boundaries always will come back and bite you in

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Speaker 3: the ass because when.

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Speaker 2: You don't have them, then they're not there. No one

400
00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:12,800
Speaker 2: else is going to create them.

401
00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:15,800
Speaker 3: Because if a relationship is working in someone's favor and

402
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Speaker 3: there are no boundaries, obviously they're not going to be like, hey,

403
00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:18,200
Speaker 3: hold on.

404
00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:21,479
Speaker 2: A second, I'll want some more boundaries here. So I

405
00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:23,320
Speaker 2: have had a lot of friendship.

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Speaker 3: I always have had a lot of moving people in

407
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Speaker 3: my life. Like I've always had friendship breakups ever since

408
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Speaker 3: I was.

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Speaker 2: A little girl.

410
00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:33,199
Speaker 3: A lot in my adult life, I have lots of

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Speaker 3: friendships that are you know, very long, but I have

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00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:38,439
Speaker 3: I've been through a lot of friends and had a

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Speaker 3: lot of friend breakups.

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Speaker 2: And what I know about it.

415
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Speaker 3: Is that.

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Speaker 2: It's painful.

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00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:51,760
Speaker 3: And when someone doesn't like if you're the one getting

418
00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:56,000
Speaker 3: broken up with, someone asks you for space, give them

419
00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:59,080
Speaker 3: double Just let be like, be graceful.

420
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Speaker 2: Like you know, someone wants to end.

421
00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:03,080
Speaker 3: If you're in a relationship and a guy wants to

422
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Speaker 3: end the relationship, let them go bye.

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Speaker 2: That's okay. I will survive. I will come.

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00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:10,840
Speaker 3: You know, we all are going to survive. We've all

425
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:14,840
Speaker 3: been through it. We all get there. When you're doing

426
00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:17,399
Speaker 3: the breaking up, that's different, you know now, I know

427
00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:20,120
Speaker 3: to be a little bit less, you know, harsh and

428
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:23,240
Speaker 3: softer and not everything needs an announcement. You can just

429
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Speaker 3: kind of walk away quietly without making.

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Speaker 2: A pronouncement about it.

431
00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:31,840
Speaker 3: But for anyone who's dealing with being broken up with

432
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Speaker 3: in a friendship, I just I would always argue that

433
00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:40,359
Speaker 3: whatever you lose comes back to you in tenfold in

434
00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:45,600
Speaker 3: different versions of other people. If you you know, you're

435
00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:46,920
Speaker 3: going to make a new friend, or you're going to

436
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:49,000
Speaker 3: make three new friends, and they are going to fill

437
00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:51,760
Speaker 3: what you never got from that friendship in the first place.

438
00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:54,080
Speaker 2: If a guy breaks up with you, the next guy

439
00:18:54,119 --> 00:18:54,520
Speaker 2: you're going.

440
00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:57,000
Speaker 3: To date is going to be great, and he's going

441
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Speaker 3: to be even better than the last guy. Like I

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Speaker 3: believe that I think the biggest part problem that we

443
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Speaker 3: have is like kind of resisting reality, Like you just

444
00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:09,000
Speaker 3: need to accept the reality of the situation.

445
00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:12,359
Speaker 2: And I think the biggest hurdle that we all experience.

446
00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:14,280
Speaker 3: And you and I talked about this a lot, actually

447
00:19:14,359 --> 00:19:17,320
Speaker 3: when you were when you finally let go of the

448
00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:21,159
Speaker 3: idea that you know, this relationship might not be the

449
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:26,280
Speaker 3: relationship is when the relationship came became real again, right,

450
00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:29,320
Speaker 3: And it's letting go, like really letting go. And that's

451
00:19:29,359 --> 00:19:31,320
Speaker 3: what all of these books talk to you about, you know,

452
00:19:31,359 --> 00:19:33,840
Speaker 3: whether it's letting go or let them or all these

453
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:37,600
Speaker 3: self help books, it's always about just don't hold on

454
00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:41,040
Speaker 3: so tightly to things, because when you do that, that's when.

455
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:42,080
Speaker 2: Things start to fall away.

456
00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:45,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, someone wants to leave, you, wish them well and

457
00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:49,399
Speaker 3: try not to sit there bitching and moaning and talking

458
00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:49,920
Speaker 3: about them.

459
00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:51,480
Speaker 2: Be graceful.

460
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:55,280
Speaker 1: It's that attachment, you know. We talk about that a

461
00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:57,399
Speaker 1: lot in this class that I take, it's a Buddhist class.

462
00:19:57,520 --> 00:20:00,320
Speaker 1: It's about the attachment to the way we ca expect

463
00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:01,920
Speaker 1: things to be, or to the way we want things

464
00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:04,440
Speaker 1: to be, or to the way things have been. And

465
00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:07,080
Speaker 1: it's releasing that attachment that you get such freedom.

466
00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:10,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that sounds cool that Buddhist class. I would

467
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:12,640
Speaker 3: love to go to a Buddhist class. Maybe I'll come

468
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:13,920
Speaker 3: with you one day.

469
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:14,920
Speaker 2: I would love that.

470
00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:19,520
Speaker 3: That's like the only spirituality slash religion. I mean, I'm spiritual,

471
00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:22,480
Speaker 3: but religion it's really debilitating and I can't even wrap

472
00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:23,160
Speaker 3: my head around it.

473
00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:25,520
Speaker 2: But Buddhism really seems to be where it's at.

474
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,760
Speaker 1: It really does speak on a level that I comprehend

475
00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:31,440
Speaker 1: and like I can take it into my real life,

476
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:34,000
Speaker 1: which is more than I have ever found in any

477
00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:35,800
Speaker 1: other So yeah.

478
00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:38,080
Speaker 3: Right, And and I know you feel this way too,

479
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:40,800
Speaker 3: Like we go through periods in our life where we're

480
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:43,560
Speaker 3: not the best that we are. We're not the best

481
00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:46,480
Speaker 3: versions of ourselves. We do behave badly. That's we're human,

482
00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:49,760
Speaker 3: that's what happens. We do things that are regrettable. We

483
00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:54,440
Speaker 3: you know, fire off at people, say things. We act selfishly.

484
00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:58,280
Speaker 3: We're not thoughtful. We can hurt people, but that's not

485
00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:03,040
Speaker 3: that doesn't define you unless you can't see.

486
00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:05,800
Speaker 2: Yourself clearly, like you.

487
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:09,600
Speaker 3: A real, self actualized person looks at that behavior and goes, Okay,

488
00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:12,440
Speaker 3: I've got to do better, Like I can do better,

489
00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:13,399
Speaker 3: and I will do better.

490
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:15,600
Speaker 2: A person who's not self actualized, will be.

491
00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:17,560
Speaker 3: Like, everything's fine. What do you mean that person's an asshole.

492
00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:19,720
Speaker 3: That person's an asshole. That person's an asshole. It's like, no,

493
00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:23,439
Speaker 3: sometimes you're the asshole. Yeah, denominator is that you are

494
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:26,960
Speaker 3: the asshole. And I have no problem, like, you know,

495
00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:29,000
Speaker 3: coming to terms with that at the point of my

496
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:29,919
Speaker 3: life where I needed to.

497
00:21:31,119 --> 00:21:33,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, I always say, stop pointing the finger and start

498
00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:37,000
Speaker 1: pulling the thumb. Yeah, you got to look at yourself

499
00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:39,800
Speaker 1: and what you what part you had in this situation.

500
00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:42,119
Speaker 1: And it's always You're always going to have a pardon.

501
00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:46,160
Speaker 3: It always, always have and always It's just so much

502
00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:50,239
Speaker 3: cooler in life to be non reactive, like you know,

503
00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:52,879
Speaker 3: when when when shit is hitting the fan and everything

504
00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:55,560
Speaker 3: is falling apart of the seams, where you can actually

505
00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:58,400
Speaker 3: sit in a place, you know, absent from running from

506
00:21:58,440 --> 00:21:58,879
Speaker 3: a fire.

507
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:01,119
Speaker 2: I'm not talking about that. Obviously, you have to be reactive,

508
00:22:01,119 --> 00:22:02,439
Speaker 2: and that's the instance, but I'm.

509
00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:06,320
Speaker 3: Talking about like anything psychological or anything that's happening. It's

510
00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:09,000
Speaker 3: just so much cooler to be like, Okay, let me

511
00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:12,359
Speaker 3: take this information in and come up Instead of being reactive,

512
00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:15,040
Speaker 3: I'm going to come up with a response after I

513
00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:15,879
Speaker 3: thought about it.

514
00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:18,200
Speaker 2: You know, I don't have to fire that text.

515
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:20,600
Speaker 3: Off in the in the moment that I get the

516
00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:23,240
Speaker 3: text that annoys me, I can sleep on it. Like

517
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:26,720
Speaker 3: I never believe those were actual options. When people said that,

518
00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:28,000
Speaker 3: I was like, oh yeah, sleep on it.

519
00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:29,600
Speaker 2: I'm like maybe, no, no, no, I've.

520
00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:31,920
Speaker 1: Got to defend myself. I've got to stand up for myself.

521
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:33,840
Speaker 2: And defend defend right. I'm right, I'm right.

522
00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:35,480
Speaker 3: And then you get to a place in your life

523
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:38,520
Speaker 3: where you're like, as long as you're arguing you're.

524
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:42,240
Speaker 1: Wrong, right, nobody's going to feel good right in this moment.

525
00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:44,520
Speaker 2: If you're good, if you're right, you don't have to argue.

526
00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:47,119
Speaker 3: You just sit there and go okay, great, and then

527
00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:49,520
Speaker 3: there's there's no like, you know, you you kind of

528
00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:53,360
Speaker 3: diffuse the whole situation because you're not participating in the argument.

529
00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:55,760
Speaker 1: You say at one point in your book, I'm going

530
00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:59,359
Speaker 1: to paraphrase because I can't remember you say that. To

531
00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:02,360
Speaker 1: know that I'm choosing myself always makes me recognize how

532
00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:05,960
Speaker 1: powerful I am. When I choose that, I will eventually

533
00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:08,280
Speaker 1: land on my feet. So it's all about those choices

534
00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:12,360
Speaker 1: of knowing yourself, knowing what you're capable of knowing what's

535
00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:14,280
Speaker 1: important to you and who you want to be out

536
00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:14,919
Speaker 1: there in the world.

537
00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:20,040
Speaker 2: Yeah. And also like I've gotten this far right, I'm

538
00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:21,560
Speaker 2: going to be fifty years old. How old are you,

539
00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:22,800
Speaker 2: Jenny fifty two?

540
00:23:23,119 --> 00:23:26,199
Speaker 3: Fifty two? You have gotten to be fifty two. Like

541
00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:31,160
Speaker 3: we're both sitting right here. We both have very healthy lives,

542
00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:32,480
Speaker 3: healthy careers.

543
00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:38,159
Speaker 2: There's no more is this going to break me? Is

544
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:39,600
Speaker 2: this going to break me? Is this going to be

545
00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:40,640
Speaker 2: my last opportunity?

546
00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:43,399
Speaker 3: Am I gonna There's no more of that because we

547
00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:47,400
Speaker 3: have the scientific data. It's been proven from the ages

548
00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:48,560
Speaker 3: that we started working.

549
00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:51,720
Speaker 2: We're still here. We're still sitting here having this conversation

550
00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:54,960
Speaker 2: for one reason. Yeah, because we are equipped to deal

551
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:57,760
Speaker 2: with this kind of lifestyle. So there's no more doubt.

552
00:23:57,920 --> 00:24:00,520
Speaker 2: Like the self doubt is not in my you know.

553
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:03,280
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm sure if something comes along, I can

554
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:05,600
Speaker 3: experience it again. But as a whole, when I look

555
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:07,760
Speaker 3: at my life and I think about all the times

556
00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:11,120
Speaker 3: I was like freaking out about an opportunity or when

557
00:24:11,119 --> 00:24:12,720
Speaker 3: I quit E I'm like, what if I never get

558
00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:13,280
Speaker 3: another job?

559
00:24:13,320 --> 00:24:14,359
Speaker 2: What if everyone thinks I'm.

560
00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:17,640
Speaker 3: Terrible because I quit my job, and like, no, there's

561
00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:20,800
Speaker 3: none of that anymore. Like I've proven over and over

562
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:24,719
Speaker 3: and over again how capable, how talented.

563
00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:25,840
Speaker 2: And how reliable I am.

564
00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:29,399
Speaker 3: And like now that I respect myself, like I feel

565
00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:30,040
Speaker 3: it all the time.

566
00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:33,479
Speaker 1: Right, you choose to trust yourself. That's the best feeling.

567
00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:36,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, right? Is that how you feel now at

568
00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:37,000
Speaker 2: fifty two?

569
00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:40,200
Speaker 1: Absolutely? And it gets stronger and stronger. But I still

570
00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:42,200
Speaker 1: do have to take those beats where I'm like, take

571
00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:46,120
Speaker 1: a deep breath, take a beat, Let think this through

572
00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:48,840
Speaker 1: before you fire back. I still have those you know,

573
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:51,240
Speaker 1: things to learn and things places to grow to. But

574
00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:53,840
Speaker 1: I feel definitely very different at fifty two.

575
00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:58,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it's pretty beautiful. You know, it's pretty

576
00:24:58,520 --> 00:24:59,640
Speaker 2: beautiful also.

577
00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:02,240
Speaker 3: To like watch what's happening in our industry and watch

578
00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:05,400
Speaker 3: watch all of the women and the ages that they

579
00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:08,240
Speaker 3: are at achieving what they're achieving, Like look at the

580
00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:11,040
Speaker 3: year that Pamela Anderson had, look at the year that

581
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:15,080
Speaker 3: Demean Moor had, look at June's squib, like, look at

582
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:18,440
Speaker 3: these women. You know, you used to be considered valueless

583
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:22,280
Speaker 3: after forty and now Hollywood, which is kind of like

584
00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:26,719
Speaker 3: the leading influence over culture and always has been for

585
00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:29,560
Speaker 3: a long time. I mean, maybe TikTok will take over

586
00:25:29,840 --> 00:25:32,879
Speaker 3: or already has, but Hollywood has a pretty strong is

587
00:25:32,920 --> 00:25:35,920
Speaker 3: a pretty strong indicator of what's to come. It's pretty

588
00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:40,320
Speaker 3: beautiful to see women excelling at these ages and getting.

589
00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:45,600
Speaker 2: More beautiful and more self assured and really being, you know,

590
00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:47,720
Speaker 2: stepping into who they are as women.

591
00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:54,040
Speaker 3: I like, I love seeing that, and I never will

592
00:25:54,359 --> 00:25:58,240
Speaker 3: prescribe or subscribe to the belief that a certain age

593
00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:02,359
Speaker 3: prohibits you from doing a certain thing, Like I was

594
00:26:02,359 --> 00:26:04,720
Speaker 3: talking about my shoulders somewhere that like, doesn't getting old suck.

595
00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:05,840
Speaker 2: I'm like, this has nothing.

596
00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:08,320
Speaker 3: To do with age, Like I will never relent to

597
00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:10,240
Speaker 3: like I will never be like I just give in

598
00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:12,520
Speaker 3: and give up, like, oh I'm getting old. No, no, no,

599
00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:15,360
Speaker 3: this is another bump in the road, and I will

600
00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:16,080
Speaker 3: get past it.

601
00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:19,040
Speaker 1: Watch me, what if you did just lay down and

602
00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:21,280
Speaker 1: then you're like, oh, well, I'm falling apart. So I

603
00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:22,959
Speaker 1: guess I'll just put myself up to pasture.

604
00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:25,520
Speaker 3: I know, I would love to euthanize myself at some point.

605
00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:29,720
Speaker 3: Apparently you have to be you have to be seventy.

606
00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:31,159
Speaker 3: I said that to my sister. I'm like, I'm just

607
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:33,600
Speaker 3: looking for a euthanasia doctor. And she said, you have

608
00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:35,440
Speaker 3: to be seventy, sissy, you have some time.

609
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:37,840
Speaker 1: Oh man, that's disappointing to hear.

610
00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:40,320
Speaker 3: Actually because I love that feeling, not because I want

611
00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:41,440
Speaker 3: to be gone from this world.

612
00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:43,560
Speaker 2: I mean, the world is a scary place, but I

613
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:46,560
Speaker 2: love I had. When I had surgery on Friday, I

614
00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:50,040
Speaker 2: was like, whatever you get put under, I love that feeling.

615
00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:52,760
Speaker 2: So and then they count back.

616
00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:55,359
Speaker 3: They're like count back from ten and they go ten,

617
00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:59,440
Speaker 3: nine and then it's over. And I said to the anesthesiologist,

618
00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:01,280
Speaker 3: I go listen, I want I want to party.

619
00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:02,280
Speaker 2: I want like.

620
00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:05,679
Speaker 3: Ten minutes of a good time. And he's like, I

621
00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:07,399
Speaker 3: want to be awake, don't just put me out and

622
00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:10,000
Speaker 3: it's over. I'm like, I'm getting surgery, but feel it. Yeah,

623
00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:13,639
Speaker 3: let's turn this into a fun vibe. I love talking

624
00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:15,240
Speaker 3: and I'm like, just get let me be on the

625
00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:18,240
Speaker 3: drugs for like ten minutes in the o R and

626
00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:19,359
Speaker 3: then you can put me out.

627
00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:22,000
Speaker 2: And that's what he did. And who do you want

628
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:23,959
Speaker 2: to party with him? Like, you guys, let's party.

629
00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:26,760
Speaker 1: Wait when you woke up for They're like, this is

630
00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:28,159
Speaker 1: what happened. This is what you said.

631
00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:30,800
Speaker 2: My doctor's like, oh, you hadn't met Chelsea before. She

632
00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:33,520
Speaker 2: loves drugs.

633
00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:36,360
Speaker 3: So no, I remember everything I said. I'm a great

634
00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:39,720
Speaker 3: drug user. We've talked about this. I was fully cognizant.

635
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:41,520
Speaker 3: And it's not like we were even we were talking

636
00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:44,080
Speaker 3: about geography and world wars and the history of wars.

637
00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:48,040
Speaker 3: But I just love that warm feeling, you know of

638
00:27:48,119 --> 00:27:51,640
Speaker 3: like conversation while you're you know, on opioids.

639
00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:53,440
Speaker 2: You know, I can't really do those in my real life.

640
00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:54,480
Speaker 2: That would be a disaster.

641
00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:56,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's that's too far.

642
00:27:56,600 --> 00:28:00,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, too far, Michael Style, can't go there. There. Even

643
00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:02,800
Speaker 2: though I've thought about that, doctor.

644
00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:12,360
Speaker 1: Well, there's still time tells. I know that you've gone

645
00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:15,879
Speaker 1: through breakups in the public eye as I have. And

646
00:28:16,359 --> 00:28:19,119
Speaker 1: right now with this beautiful chapter that you're in, what

647
00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:21,159
Speaker 1: does love mean to you? Like, what are you looking

648
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:23,080
Speaker 1: for in a relationship?

649
00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:27,320
Speaker 3: I mean, right now I have a relationship with someone.

650
00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:29,919
Speaker 3: I'm in one relationship. I'm not limited to being in

651
00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:33,359
Speaker 3: one relationship, Okay, I'm open to everything. I like the

652
00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:35,919
Speaker 3: idea of lots of lovers throughout my life. I like

653
00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:38,440
Speaker 3: the idea of lots of love stories. I've never been

654
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:42,000
Speaker 3: someone to subscribe to this kind of Prince Charming fantasy

655
00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:45,800
Speaker 3: bullshit that we've all been fed our whole lives. I

656
00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:48,320
Speaker 3: want someone who knows that I need my space, that

657
00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:51,880
Speaker 3: I'm independent, that I don't need anything from.

658
00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:55,120
Speaker 2: You except for your care. Like I woke up the

659
00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:55,640
Speaker 2: other morning.

660
00:28:55,680 --> 00:29:00,200
Speaker 3: I was with my boyfriend in Whistler, Canada, and up

661
00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:01,400
Speaker 3: the other morning and he goes, do you know how

662
00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:02,920
Speaker 3: lucky I feel to wake up next to you?

663
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:05,240
Speaker 2: He goes, do you know how many men would die

664
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:07,160
Speaker 2: to wake up next to you? And I wanted to

665
00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:08,880
Speaker 2: be like, not as many as you think.

666
00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:11,640
Speaker 3: But I was like, what a sweet thing for you

667
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:14,160
Speaker 3: to think about. And then to say I would.

668
00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:16,920
Speaker 1: Like to articulate. Yeah, yeah, my part part.

669
00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:19,240
Speaker 2: You would keep that to yourself. Most men, you know

670
00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:20,800
Speaker 2: what I mean, Like, I don't want to give her

671
00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:23,479
Speaker 2: too much power, too much love for me, But what

672
00:29:23,560 --> 00:29:25,160
Speaker 2: is to say out loud?

673
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:28,719
Speaker 1: Yeah it is? We need that because we can do

674
00:29:28,760 --> 00:29:31,040
Speaker 1: anything we need to do on our own. We're all

675
00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:34,400
Speaker 1: such capable women, you and I especially, we call our

676
00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:37,560
Speaker 1: own trots, you know. And the men can feel really

677
00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:40,280
Speaker 1: intimidated by strong women such as us.

678
00:29:40,640 --> 00:29:42,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, and a lot of men think no, no, no,

679
00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:44,960
Speaker 3: I'm good. I like, I like your strength, like, yeah,

680
00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:50,000
Speaker 3: not going to emasculate me. And usually they say yeah,

681
00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:54,520
Speaker 3: right right, yep. What are you gonna do for your birthday? Well,

682
00:29:54,920 --> 00:29:57,080
Speaker 3: my book comes out on my birthday, so I'll be

683
00:29:57,120 --> 00:29:58,040
Speaker 3: doing my press tour.

684
00:29:58,240 --> 00:30:00,200
Speaker 2: I have a ski video that I still need to to.

685
00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:03,200
Speaker 3: Shoot, because every year I shoot a ski video of

686
00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:05,840
Speaker 3: me skiing down a mountain with my dogs and a

687
00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:07,200
Speaker 3: joint and the margarita.

688
00:30:08,320 --> 00:30:10,680
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna have parties wherever I go. I'm gonna

689
00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:12,800
Speaker 2: have one in Whistler. I'll have one in New York

690
00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:14,360
Speaker 2: because I'll be there for my book release.

691
00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:17,640
Speaker 3: I'll have one in La probably just kind of little

692
00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:20,400
Speaker 3: gatherings as I kind of go across the country in

693
00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:21,200
Speaker 3: different cities.

694
00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:23,840
Speaker 2: I mean, I feel like I'll just celebrate it throughout

695
00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:24,200
Speaker 2: the year.

696
00:30:24,280 --> 00:30:27,480
Speaker 3: And yeah, fuck it, I thought, you know, I thought,

697
00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:28,960
Speaker 3: oh god, I don't need it.

698
00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:31,120
Speaker 2: Whenever my friends started like, what do we want to do?

699
00:30:31,160 --> 00:30:32,160
Speaker 2: We've got to blow this out.

700
00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:34,840
Speaker 3: This is your fiftieth And as soon as my editor

701
00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:36,640
Speaker 3: said do you want your book to come out on

702
00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:40,880
Speaker 3: your fiftieth, I go, actually, yes, that's perfect because that

703
00:30:40,920 --> 00:30:43,040
Speaker 3: takes the load off of all of this planning and

704
00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:48,520
Speaker 3: talking about planning, but on another aspect of it, I

705
00:30:48,640 --> 00:30:50,920
Speaker 3: just feel like so much of my life is a party.

706
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:53,320
Speaker 3: So much of my life is a celebration. I've had

707
00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:55,719
Speaker 3: so many nights where I felt like it was my wedding,

708
00:30:56,240 --> 00:30:58,960
Speaker 3: you know, like so many I get up on stage

709
00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:01,880
Speaker 3: every week and perform in front of thousands of people.

710
00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:05,000
Speaker 3: That feels pretty fucking awesome. That feels like at your

711
00:31:05,040 --> 00:31:08,520
Speaker 3: birthday party every single time. So I was like a

712
00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:09,960
Speaker 3: little bit like, I don't know if I want to

713
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:14,200
Speaker 3: celebrate myself. But anytime now that I'm resistant towards anything,

714
00:31:14,320 --> 00:31:15,200
Speaker 3: I just go for it.

715
00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:16,840
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, yes, you have to do it.

716
00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:20,760
Speaker 3: Like I'm really bad at dancing, and I'm decided I'm

717
00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:21,760
Speaker 3: just gonna start dancing.

718
00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:23,040
Speaker 2: I'm very self conscious.

719
00:31:23,080 --> 00:31:24,640
Speaker 3: I know I'm a bad dancer, and i feel like

720
00:31:24,640 --> 00:31:26,160
Speaker 3: everyone's staring at me, and I'm like, you know what,

721
00:31:26,320 --> 00:31:28,600
Speaker 3: this is good. You're going to start dancing at fifty

722
00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:29,840
Speaker 3: and it doesn't matter.

723
00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:31,920
Speaker 1: That you were kind of dancing just like solo dancing.

724
00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:34,000
Speaker 3: Any dancing, Like I can't even dance to a beat,

725
00:31:34,120 --> 00:31:37,320
Speaker 3: like at the tailor shone, like just go two step

726
00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:38,920
Speaker 3: and you feel like you.

727
00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:42,120
Speaker 1: Want to dance, but you hold yourself back because it's

728
00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:43,479
Speaker 1: not nobody needs to see that.

729
00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:47,600
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, totally like self conscious. It's like, my self

730
00:31:47,600 --> 00:31:49,680
Speaker 3: conscious thing is my dancing.

731
00:31:49,840 --> 00:31:52,400
Speaker 1: And you should be free to just dance. I'm happy

732
00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:54,360
Speaker 1: you get to dance the whole year of yours.

733
00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:56,680
Speaker 3: I know I'm gonna I'm gonna start dancing and not

734
00:31:56,800 --> 00:31:58,080
Speaker 3: care what anyone thinks.

735
00:31:58,360 --> 00:31:59,640
Speaker 1: I love this. This is good.

736
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:02,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, because I need I need new challenges.

737
00:32:02,160 --> 00:32:04,920
Speaker 3: I've you know, I need something else to like be like, Okay,

738
00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:06,760
Speaker 3: this is I haven't done. I haven't done a lot

739
00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:07,880
Speaker 3: of acting work recently.

740
00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:09,800
Speaker 2: I'm going to do that decided. I'm like, I'm going

741
00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:12,320
Speaker 2: to do stuff that isn't in my comfort zone.

742
00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:14,800
Speaker 1: It's like a beauty of it.

743
00:32:15,160 --> 00:32:15,920
Speaker 2: Yeah. I feel like.

744
00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:18,560
Speaker 3: Fifty is like a reset, like a reset, like okay,

745
00:32:18,880 --> 00:32:21,120
Speaker 3: now let me go around. It's like you're going back

746
00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:22,880
Speaker 3: into the hotel room to look and see what you

747
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:26,560
Speaker 3: forgot right before you check out, You're like, okay, you

748
00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:27,480
Speaker 3: let me do one more past.

749
00:32:29,560 --> 00:32:32,000
Speaker 1: Okay, Chelsea Handler, before I let you go, what was

750
00:32:32,040 --> 00:32:33,920
Speaker 1: your last I choose me moment?

751
00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:38,200
Speaker 2: Well, my breakup with Joe Koy was a big one.

752
00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:40,160
Speaker 2: I choose me. That was great.

753
00:32:40,360 --> 00:32:43,200
Speaker 3: I came to like a moment where it was either

754
00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:47,960
Speaker 3: I would have to compromise my whole being and what

755
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:51,800
Speaker 3: I've grown up to be or and I didn't want

756
00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:53,920
Speaker 3: to break up. You know, we were in love and

757
00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:56,840
Speaker 3: I wanted it to work out. And in that moment,

758
00:32:57,000 --> 00:33:00,720
Speaker 3: I just remember like thinking, I have to use this

759
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:02,080
Speaker 3: or choose myself.

760
00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:04,600
Speaker 2: And I chose me.

761
00:33:04,880 --> 00:33:06,440
Speaker 1: That's a big I choose me moment.

762
00:33:07,440 --> 00:33:08,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm so glad.

763
00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:10,760
Speaker 1: I'm so glad you did. You're so worth choosing. Like

764
00:33:10,840 --> 00:33:14,720
Speaker 1: you've proven time and time again your resilience and you're

765
00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:18,760
Speaker 1: so capable, You've reinvented yourself. And I really do look

766
00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:19,200
Speaker 1: up to you.

767
00:33:19,720 --> 00:33:24,120
Speaker 3: Oh, thank you, Thank you so much. I really appreciate that.

768
00:33:24,320 --> 00:33:27,240
Speaker 1: And I'll be celebrating your birthday by dancing from.

769
00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:31,240
Speaker 2: Yes, please dancing throw something of you. You did dancing

770
00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:33,280
Speaker 2: with the Stars, and you really know how to dance.

771
00:33:33,560 --> 00:33:36,480
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't anymore. Like once you do it,

772
00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:38,160
Speaker 1: if you don't do it more, you lose it. I've

773
00:33:38,160 --> 00:33:38,600
Speaker 1: lost it.

774
00:33:38,680 --> 00:33:40,040
Speaker 2: So oh it's like Spanish.

775
00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:43,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, but thank you so much for taking the time.

776
00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:45,480
Speaker 1: All the best with your book, tour. You're going to

777
00:33:45,520 --> 00:33:47,120
Speaker 1: have such a great year. I see it, I see it.

778
00:33:47,440 --> 00:33:49,560
Speaker 2: Thank you, Jenny, love talking to you. Thank you so

779
00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:50,080
Speaker 2: much too.

780
00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:52,480
Speaker 1: Okay bye,