Speaker 1: Today we have Stacy Snyder for Love is Blind. I'm
Speaker 1: very excited and she's excited and has something she wants
Speaker 1: to get off her chest and give me a little
Speaker 1: inside baseball now that it's gonna be World Series season
Speaker 1: on that type of reality TV, like the formatted dating
Speaker 1: reality TV, which I'm fascinated by. God help Us, God
Speaker 1: Help Us is funny. So welcome Stacy Snyder. Hi you,
Speaker 1: what's up? Thank you so much for having me. Love
Speaker 1: is blonde, Love is blonde, Love is blonde, and blind.
Speaker 1: Love is more blonde than blind. To be honest, Hi, Hi,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's you. It's totally me. Nice to
Speaker 1: meet you. Nice to meet you as well. I'm so excited.
Speaker 1: Oh thank you. I appreciate you being here because I
Speaker 1: know that like you also, unlike most guests, have specific
Speaker 1: things you want to talk about and get off your
Speaker 1: chest and share, which is what I do love the
Speaker 1: most about this show. Like so often it's just an
Speaker 1: exploration about a person, but I do like when we're
Speaker 1: kind of getting into something that you haven't shared or
Speaker 1: that is like you know that you want to express.
Speaker 1: So I appreciate that because I.
Speaker 2: Ran of course, and I feel like you're kind of
Speaker 2: free range with conversation and I'm done to talk about whatever.
Speaker 2: I just wanted to make sure there were certain points
Speaker 2: that you were good to chat about.
Speaker 1: One hundred percent.
Speaker 2: I'm an no country person, So whatever turns twists you
Speaker 2: want to take, I'm here for it perfect.
Speaker 1: Likewise, So where do you live? Where are you? I'm
Speaker 1: in Houston. You're in Houston? And how did you get
Speaker 1: on to Love Is Blind? And how many seasons in
Speaker 1: was it?
Speaker 2: So? I was on season five, season five about a
Speaker 2: year ago. Right now, we're in season seven, and I
Speaker 2: think from what I've gathered for most people that have
Speaker 2: done the show, a lot of the casting direct get
Speaker 2: onto dating apps or LinkedIn so that they're quickly able
Speaker 2: to see who's single. So they love like male getting
Speaker 2: on to find female for the show and vice versa,
Speaker 2: just to know who's single and then kind of stock
Speaker 2: them on Instagram after that, they don't reach out on
Speaker 2: a dating app.
Speaker 1: That's interesting to me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's pretty smart, but after talking everyone else, it
Speaker 2: was kind of the same thing, like, how would someone
Speaker 2: find me on Instagram? Know that I'm single, know my
Speaker 2: Instagram handle? So on most dating apps you have your
Speaker 2: socials listed.
Speaker 1: Yes, or you could find that's But that's interesting because
Speaker 1: I feel there have been some like dating apps where
Speaker 1: I've seen someone and maybe I didn't match with them,
Speaker 1: or maybe because you got to be on like you
Speaker 1: got to file into their rolodex, meaning it might not
Speaker 1: sometimes you don't get into their queue. Yeah, and if
Speaker 1: you think you like someone, it's a good way to
Speaker 1: go over and you could like message them on social media,
Speaker 1: So it makes sense. Which wild? So you were on
Speaker 1: do you know what dating app they found you on?
Speaker 1: I would assim Bumble.
Speaker 2: I think that was the only one that I was on,
Speaker 2: but a lot of my friends said that they were
Speaker 2: reached out too, So it was either that or they
Speaker 2: found me in one of my friend's pictures that they
Speaker 2: had asked about the show, and then they start like
Speaker 2: clicking on everyone else.
Speaker 1: So you were on Bumble and you were looking only
Speaker 1: for men? Yes? Interesting? And how many years ago? Is
Speaker 1: this two years ago? Oh?
Speaker 2: God? Probably three three years ago. Our show aired a
Speaker 2: year and a half after it was filmed.
Speaker 1: Okay, so that was probably three years ago. How was
Speaker 1: dating on the apps and Bumble? And how was it?
Speaker 1: And you've it was really shit? It was shit.
Speaker 2: I feel like a lot of people just have the
Speaker 2: apps to be like I'm trying, and then you sifted
Speaker 2: and it's you don't find anything you like or you
Speaker 2: you're open to going out, You go out and you're like,
Speaker 2: that was a waste of my time. I'd rather not
Speaker 2: waste my time and spend it doing things that I
Speaker 2: like doing or hanging out with my friends or family
Speaker 2: than wasting it on people that it's not going to
Speaker 2: go anywhere with.
Speaker 1: Was that the only dating app you were on I was.
Speaker 2: Eithering Bumble or Hinge. I honestly don't remember because I
Speaker 2: haven't been on one in forever. Tinder I feel like
Speaker 2: has played out or is just or like yeah for
Speaker 2: for fuck boys.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I find it's funny because I've had many matchmakers
Speaker 1: on my dating podcast. For me personally, I've done way
Speaker 1: better on apps than on uh with like very expensive,
Speaker 1: high end matchmakers, and I think they're all lovely and
Speaker 1: they give amazing advice and they're good for a certain experience.
Speaker 1: But for me personally, I've done better on my own.
Speaker 1: So it's interesting.
Speaker 2: Do you think that they're pulling from the same pool
Speaker 2: of people or is it have you found it's.
Speaker 1: Different, totally different, like word of mouth, and so I'm
Speaker 1: very interested to know this because I find that dating
Speaker 1: that matchmakers it's like real estate where you ask for
Speaker 1: a certain house and then they bring you a house,
Speaker 1: but it's really kind of different than the house you
Speaker 1: ask for, but they think you might like it, so
Speaker 1: they want to show you something. It doesn't have a
Speaker 1: pool or it has a fireplace, so it's a little
Speaker 1: out of your price range. Match Makers do that, meaning
Speaker 1: like they'll find you someone but that is geographically undesirable,
Speaker 1: but maybe very wealthy and seems to fit some version
Speaker 1: of a profile or like a lot of men that
Speaker 1: go to matchmakers that are that are very successful, because
Speaker 1: that's often what happens with a matchmaker. It's someone who's
Speaker 1: whose reason for going there is they want to kind
Speaker 1: of check the box, and they say they don't have
Speaker 1: time because they're so busy, and I think that they
Speaker 1: want to in their minds, they want to meet someone,
Speaker 1: but they want the person to come like a fully
Speaker 1: put together, like a barbiedolle, a renovated house, like it's
Speaker 1: just right in front of you and they want to
Speaker 1: move in. It's like a spec house, but that's not
Speaker 1: how life works. They don't really want to do the
Speaker 1: work and make the effort. And I find that the
Speaker 1: people on the apps are a little more proactive and
Speaker 1: they're looking around a little little and they seem to
Speaker 1: want to do the work more and are more intentional
Speaker 1: what I've found than people who hire matchmakers. I'm sure.
Speaker 1: I mean, they are exceptions to every rule, but I
Speaker 1: feel like a lot of the very successful guys that
Speaker 1: come to matchmakers think they want it, but in essence,
Speaker 1: they're really very like their type A or their mobiles,
Speaker 1: and they're set in their ways and they really don't
Speaker 1: want to adjust that much.
Speaker 2: And they think that if they're paying for the service
Speaker 2: they're going to get, you're going to ask for thank you.
Speaker 1: It's exactly that's what I'm saying. You're like walking, you
Speaker 1: get the spec house, you know, do any work on it?
Speaker 2: A friend to come a friend who I went on
Speaker 2: a date with, very well to do guy, same thing
Speaker 2: where he's like I can't find what I'm looking for,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, I don't think that's the problem. So
Speaker 2: then they pay someone to find them stuff, and I'm like,
Speaker 2: they're going to bring you what you're asking for but
Speaker 2: who's to say that those women are going to like
Speaker 2: you back.
Speaker 1: It's literally throwing money at the problem in cases, But
Speaker 1: I do you know, they do have a function and
Speaker 1: they do have good listen, you also have to do it.
Speaker 1: They also don't bring you people. It's not often, so
Speaker 1: you have to wait. Like it's really like you could
Speaker 1: wait weeks and weeks and their model is like, oh,
Speaker 1: but you might wait six months, but then we bring
Speaker 1: you the right person. But I've gone three months and
Speaker 1: they'll introduce you like one or two people, and you know,
Speaker 1: so it's just I just find it to be very interesting.
Speaker 1: But with the apps, it's fishing. You could I've only
Speaker 1: ever met two people in years of like dab in there,
Speaker 1: Like it's not that easy because people say, how did
Speaker 1: you meet this person? As if people are actually no.
Speaker 1: I also think you have to know how to navigate
Speaker 1: the apps. I think you have to really know how
Speaker 1: to navigate them, how.
Speaker 2: To really like sift through like what they look like
Speaker 2: and what they're saying to know if you would even
Speaker 2: have anything in common.
Speaker 1: Sift what they're saying, go over to the to what
Speaker 1: they do. Go yeah, you got to cross reference. It's
Speaker 1: like it's I think I'm pretty I mean, I actually
Speaker 1: think I'm excellent at it.
Speaker 2: I've heard that really during your podcast and here in
Speaker 2: the South it's different.
Speaker 1: But I'm interested to know. Is there a picture, a
Speaker 1: type of picture that a guy.
Speaker 2: Could have on a dating app that you would immediately
Speaker 2: be like no, just because of a type of picture
Speaker 2: they have, whether it's yeah, you know, if they're holding
Speaker 2: a fish or whatever.
Speaker 1: Well, the fish holding a fish is a big thing. Obviously,
Speaker 1: a tank top is not great. Someone who has no
Speaker 1: shirt on in any pictures like that's not a good choice,
Speaker 1: no matter what they look like, because either they're narcissistic
Speaker 1: or they're not like self aware. But sometimes they have
Speaker 1: a kid next to them that has like an emoji
Speaker 1: over the face because they don't want show their kid.
Speaker 1: It's dude, get your fucking camera out. Or there's like
Speaker 1: a woman in one of the pictures. You're not sure
Speaker 1: if it's your your assistant or your best friend, your sister.
Speaker 1: It's weird. You know you mistakenly have you mistakenly you
Speaker 1: have a good picture of you from three years ago,
Speaker 1: and you happen to still be wearing a wedding ring.
Speaker 1: You're so stupid that you didn't realize that, like just
Speaker 1: dumb things like that. And then sometimes but I've gone
Speaker 1: out with someone and been wrong, Like it's been a
Speaker 1: picture of someone looking super handsome and slick and it's
Speaker 1: like too slick, and I'm annoyed. But I've been wrong
Speaker 1: about that. It's you know, or someone's trying to flex.
Speaker 1: I'm at the super Bowl, I'm next to someone famous
Speaker 1: and next to your plan. I'm next through a picture,
Speaker 1: thank you, I'm next to a Ferrari. Anyone who is
Speaker 1: anywhere near a private plane on social media, on a
Speaker 1: dating app does not have one. Okay, these are good,
Speaker 1: these are good? Doesn't have one? Yeah? Okay? So all right,
Speaker 1: So you have been with only men your whole life
Speaker 1: up to your television dating career, like that was you?
Speaker 2: You?
Speaker 1: Female? Blind? Did you? Did you know?
Speaker 2: I've been with a woman before, probably in my early twenties.
Speaker 2: It was a two year relationship. We lived together. Interesting. Oh,
Speaker 2: women in my family knew about it. I never told
Speaker 2: my dad. He's pretty conservative, and I'm like, I don't
Speaker 2: know if this is going to work out. I don't
Speaker 2: know how he's going to take it. It was my first
Speaker 2: experience with a woman. So I didn't know what I
Speaker 2: was doing. I was afraid sexually, I mean all of it.
Speaker 2: Like I was afraid of what people were going to
Speaker 2: think or say as far as my family, because in
Speaker 2: our family, at least with me and my sisters were
Speaker 2: looked at as a certain pot they produced. They all
Speaker 2: got scholarships in school. I cheered in school. The guys
Speaker 2: that I've been with are successful look a certain way,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, I don't think that they're going to
Speaker 2: be able.
Speaker 1: To compute no and short circuit.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I knew if I expressed that to them,
Speaker 2: it would also put pressure on the relationship I was in.
Speaker 2: So I was just going in circles of like I
Speaker 2: needed your life. I feel like I'm living a double life,
Speaker 2: but here's what's going to happen if I do. So
Speaker 2: I literally was living a double life with parts of
Speaker 2: my family and my relationship.
Speaker 1: But this really with her? Was she gay?
Speaker 2: Mm hm?
Speaker 1: So you were like with her friends and a bunch
Speaker 1: of girls doing that stuff. You had like two different lives.
Speaker 1: You were like living that fun life, yeah, and then
Speaker 1: you're over here with your family doing like.
Speaker 2: Oh, and then she was around and they just thought
Speaker 2: that she was my friend, right, yeah, right, interesting? Okay,
Speaker 2: So you were kind of in the closet and did
Speaker 2: you were you in love?
Speaker 1: Yeah? And where is she now? I don't know. I
Speaker 1: think Charlotte. I think she hasn't reached out and said,
Speaker 1: oh my god like you. Finally.
Speaker 2: No, I didn't know what to expect with that. I
Speaker 2: was honestly interested to know, and I was. I was
Speaker 2: recently in a Charlotte, so I'm like, oh my god,
Speaker 2: this would be my life where I run into her somewhere.
Speaker 2: And at one point she had come to visit me
Speaker 2: in Houston, not in a romantic way, but probably five
Speaker 2: six years ago. And since that point or from when
Speaker 2: we dated to when I saw her here, it had
Speaker 2: have been at least ten years. So it's like we're
Speaker 2: different people. We look different. So it was very awkward.
Speaker 2: Not even like we're close friends at that point, but
Speaker 2: we had been path lovers. It was awkward. So after that,
Speaker 2: I feel like it left in a strange place.
Speaker 1: But she's definitely proud of you now, like wow, go go,
Speaker 1: I have no idea. Interesting. Okay, So I had Gabby
Speaker 1: Wendy on here too, So it's an interesting dynamic because
Speaker 1: she was on the Bachelor the Bachelorette? Was it The
Speaker 1: Bachelor the Bachelorette? And like that's such a sort of
Speaker 1: traditional values type of show and you're from, you know, Houston.
Speaker 1: How serious is your relationship now?
Speaker 2: It's hard to say, because I feel like with women,
Speaker 2: it's very different. It moves a lot faster. The emotions
Speaker 2: come in a lot sooner, just because we're more emotionally
Speaker 2: intact people or what am I trying to say, more
Speaker 2: aware of.
Speaker 1: Our remove expressive, more emotionally expressive, yeah, emoting more. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So it's serious in a way, like we're in love,
Speaker 1: but I feel like it's moved a lot quicker than
Speaker 1: it would in a heterosexual relationship, at least compared to
Speaker 1: my past. How long has it been four months? It's
Speaker 1: been four months, but I think three months is a
Speaker 1: critical juncture. So at three months, you guys are like,
Speaker 1: we're doing this.
Speaker 2: Yeah, But we also were friends for almost a year
Speaker 2: before this happened, so you have to consider the trust
Speaker 2: getting to know someone.
Speaker 1: All of that is already in place.
Speaker 2: We've been friends for a year, we know who each
Speaker 2: other is, we know each other's families. So then when
Speaker 2: it switches into dating. You're not wasting the time to
Speaker 2: figure all that out. You're like, Okay, they're a good person.
Speaker 2: I like their values. We have all these things in common.
Speaker 2: The sucky part is like we either give this a
Speaker 2: go and if it doesn't work out, I just lost
Speaker 2: one of.
Speaker 1: My yeahs friends. Necessarily, not necessarily, but yeah, a good shot.
Speaker 1: When I've tried it, it hasn't gone well for me. You
Speaker 1: never know. You're you're older, you might be wiser, are you?
Speaker 1: So it's very serious. So are you? Are you gay?
Speaker 1: Or are you by do I? Do you have any
Speaker 1: labels for yourself? Do you think of yourself in a
Speaker 1: certain way, like would you? Are you attracted to men? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm attracted to men and women.
Speaker 2: But it's interesting because I never even knew that any
Speaker 2: of this was going to be publicized. I was just
Speaker 2: trying to put out that I was in a happy relationship.
Speaker 2: So when I traveled and put up pictures with her,
Speaker 2: it's like, I'm taken, I'm happy, I'm in a relationship.
Speaker 1: I didn't know that it was going to.
Speaker 2: Be all over the pro disruptive that I'm queer, because
Speaker 2: then that word to me is funny.
Speaker 1: Yes, I'm open about being with a woman.
Speaker 2: And I've been with a woman before, and I've been
Speaker 2: with men, have been engaged one that to me was
Speaker 2: hard to like that.
Speaker 1: Want to be labeled? Yeah, I don't know. You wouldn't
Speaker 1: have to be right, you know, I'm gut saying, God forbid,
Speaker 1: this doesn't work out. You could be on an app
Speaker 1: again looking for men and women, right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And honestly it's all pretty new to me since
Speaker 2: this all just kind of came out, and I feel
Speaker 2: pressure to have a label or people are labeling me,
Speaker 2: and I don't want to disagree with them or agree
Speaker 2: with them.
Speaker 1: It's just unfamiliar. You're a person and you are a track. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think I think that well. By the way, that
Speaker 1: gives you double the freaking respect with respect to your girlfriend. Now,
Speaker 1: I don't want her to be mad at me. I'm
Speaker 1: not talking like this. I hope you guys spend the
Speaker 1: rest of your lives together if that's what you want.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying it does open the menu up to
Speaker 1: a lot more options. So let me ask you a question.
Speaker 1: This is a weird transition. What how is the sex
Speaker 1: different with a man and a woman for you? Like,
Speaker 1: I mean, I do I didn't take geometry. I just mean,
Speaker 1: how does it feel different? How do you experience it
Speaker 1: differently from a communications standpoint from not from a hardware standpoint?
Speaker 1: I do, Like I said, I took geometry, but like,
Speaker 1: how does it feel different? Or you know, when you're
Speaker 1: with another woman, is it more talking while doing it,
Speaker 1: talking about it when you're not doing it? Is it
Speaker 1: intimidating at first?
Speaker 2: So think about it in this way. It's different. Probably
Speaker 2: with all the partners you had. Some are probably more vocal,
Speaker 2: Some probably like foreplay more than others. Some probably just
Speaker 2: want to get straight to the point, Some are more adventurous.
Speaker 1: Location. It's similar in that way.
Speaker 2: Obviously the mechanics right different, and it's different. This is
Speaker 2: the main thing is it's kind of like one person's
Speaker 2: always working it, and when you're having sex with a man,
Speaker 2: it's like you're both I guess finding pleasure at the
Speaker 2: same time, which I find.
Speaker 1: To be pressure. Why because if everybody isn't no both
Speaker 1: a man and a woman having to do it at
Speaker 1: the same time. Because I like one at a time,
Speaker 1: I don't need everybody doesn't need to be having any
Speaker 1: You don't always have to be in tandem. And everything
Speaker 1: happens at the exact same time. It puts pressure on
Speaker 1: both people. I think, like, I'm I'm I'm gift. Giving
Speaker 1: is my love language. Let's just say that. So giving.
Speaker 1: I'm definitely a giver. But it's hard to give and
Speaker 1: take at the same time, is what I think. That's
Speaker 1: so interesting. Sometimes it isn't. Sometimes it all lines up,
Speaker 1: but sometimes it's pressure. See I feel pressure when I'm
Speaker 1: with her because I'm a giver.
Speaker 2: And then I almost feel bad where it's like one
Speaker 2: person's giving at a time where instead of it both
Speaker 2: give and receiving at the same time.
Speaker 1: So we're saying the same thing but on the opposite. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I like that. I'd rather everybody, like, let's focus on you.
Speaker 1: I'm not Yeah, even you could be having sex and
Speaker 1: everybody's having a great time, but like getting it whatever
Speaker 1: we need to get done the goal oriented aspect. Let's
Speaker 1: focus on you, make sure it's going to be fucking amazing,
Speaker 1: and then we'll focus on me. Yeah, I feel like
Speaker 1: I should be a lesbian, so I should be good.
Speaker 1: Yeah this whole thing Okay, So I fucked, so I
Speaker 1: should be lesbian. Oh, you've never never been with a woman?
Speaker 1: Tried sex. No, I've never even made out with a woman.
Speaker 1: I kiss a girl one time for two seconds. Like, no,
Speaker 1: never been with a woman. I am really attracted. I'm
Speaker 1: a really I'm like, I'm a guy. I really think.
Speaker 1: I don't think there's any gray area. I just don't
Speaker 1: sick one hundred percent. I don't like the hardware. I
Speaker 1: don't like the hardware. And a woman, I'm like one,
Speaker 1: it's it's enough that one of us has that hardware.
Speaker 1: I don't. We don't need to. I'm good. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I love it. Now let's get into love. So you
Speaker 1: go on. Love is blind and I'm sure, what do
Speaker 1: you do for a living?
Speaker 2: So? I was working full time in oil and gas, oh,
Speaker 2: for Perfect Texas. So I was working in oil and
Speaker 2: gas for my dad's company. I was teaching plate's part
Speaker 2: time when the show had or not aired. We had
Speaker 2: filmed the show, it hadn't aired. I used to be
Speaker 2: a personal stylist when I lived in Nashville, and I
Speaker 2: read asking me to style them here, So I started
Speaker 2: doing that as a side gig. So now I have
Speaker 2: floates and styling as a side gig. When the show
Speaker 2: comes out and people are like Oh my god, I
Speaker 2: love your clothes. I love your outfit.
Speaker 1: Do you do this a kind of to call it again, closet,
Speaker 1: the closet audit, the closet audit. I like that name.
Speaker 1: I was doing, thank you.
Speaker 2: I was doing that as a side thing, and then
Speaker 2: with the publicity of the show and whatever I was wearing,
Speaker 2: that kind of took off in its own way. And
Speaker 2: now it's inconsistent. And so is social media with me
Speaker 2: doing digital crea. So I'm trying to navigate where to
Speaker 2: how to brand yourself so it's not confusing because it
Speaker 2: is confusing. Yeah, and I listened to one of your
Speaker 2: recent podcasts about balance and the muscle being fatigued. I'm like,
Speaker 2: I am so crapped out, but I feel like I
Speaker 2: have to put as much energy as I can into
Speaker 2: all these outlets until I figure which one's consistent enough
Speaker 2: to provide, because I can't leave oil and gas if
Speaker 2: this can't provide the roof over my head. So I'm
Speaker 2: pulling back from oil and gas, but I'm still working
Speaker 2: in it for my benefits. I'm still subbing here and
Speaker 2: there at the Plate Studio because I have a personal
Speaker 2: relationship with the owner. I have my clients at the
Speaker 2: closet audit, and then I'm creating content getting brain.
Speaker 1: Deals through that that is exhausting. Well, it's more exhausting
Speaker 1: because you don't have one thread. It's just it would
Speaker 1: be less exhausting if you knew the line that it
Speaker 1: all adheres to. But by the way, knowing that you
Speaker 1: don't know that is more than half the battle, because
Speaker 1: many people are trying to fit twenty five pounds of
Speaker 1: shit in a five pound bag, but they don't know
Speaker 1: the difference. I know people that are very successful, very wealthy,
Speaker 1: that could be so much more because they're like they're
Speaker 1: famous people, but they they're they're doing everything, they're doing this,
Speaker 1: they're doing the other thing, and they don't even know
Speaker 1: that they that they don't have one brand. And so
Speaker 1: at least you know that, like you'll you'll you'll you'll
Speaker 1: figure it out, you'll find tune it. Then, yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm trying too. It's just you know, you'll find where
Speaker 1: the fish are. You'll have to find with the you
Speaker 1: just have to pull back and but you have to
Speaker 1: do what you truly love doing and what really speaks
Speaker 1: to you. Otherwise you're not going to find the one
Speaker 1: thing out of all that, like if.
Speaker 2: You're and I love the fashion stuff in styling and
Speaker 2: the social media stuff, but also our show just aired
Speaker 2: a year ago, and I want to make sure that
Speaker 2: what I'm getting now isn't just because of a little pop.
Speaker 2: I want it to be consistent. So it is getting
Speaker 2: more and more consistent. But a year I'm like, that's
Speaker 2: not enough to know.
Speaker 1: I think if again, you could be you could be
Speaker 1: known by being nobody and not having been on that show.
Speaker 1: I don't watch that show. I've seen that show, but no,
Speaker 1: and not no, but a lot of people I know
Speaker 1: don't watch it. No one here in my office knows
Speaker 1: anything about it, like those young girls here. So you
Speaker 1: also were going to get into the show. But you know,
Speaker 1: when you're in your own world about the one thing,
Speaker 1: you think that everybody else is like paying attention to
Speaker 1: it and knows it because it's what you know. It's
Speaker 1: the same thing with Bravo, like I literally no one
Speaker 1: I know watches Bravo talks about Bravo cares about the
Speaker 1: housewives like no one only a certain group. But you
Speaker 1: think when you're in that space that that group represents.
Speaker 1: But that's all that exists well, because I was the
Speaker 1: golden child of the whole thing. Yeah, I'm just not
Speaker 1: really that afraid. And I also just said something out loud,
Speaker 1: and when I said out loud, you know, talked about
Speaker 1: the exploitation, so many people were so desperate and came
Speaker 1: in and had been so fucked that I felt like
Speaker 1: I couldn't leave them because I had been the one
Speaker 1: to say it, and I got in so deep that
Speaker 1: being said, it's not you know, I don't live there anymore,
Speaker 1: it doesn't really affect me. It doesn't affect me. I
Speaker 1: just wanted to sort of be there for other people
Speaker 1: that it does affect. And also I guess it was
Speaker 1: kind of it was definitely courageous slash if I cared,
Speaker 1: it would be slash stupid because you're just definitely burning
Speaker 1: one bridge. But I that's a bridge took place I
Speaker 1: don't ever want to be, and I can relate to that.
Speaker 2: And that's one of the main reasons that I was
Speaker 2: really wanting to speak to you, because when I came
Speaker 2: off of filming with the show, I so desperately was
Speaker 2: trying to find someone I could relate to as far
Speaker 2: as what I experienced with these production companies, one that
Speaker 2: I had worked with, because I'm like, there's no way,
Speaker 2: there's no way, there's no way that someone went through
Speaker 2: this and hasn't done something.
Speaker 1: Oh I am like up in the head and I
Speaker 1: couldn't find a damn thing.
Speaker 2: So then I'm second guessing my reality of maybe it
Speaker 2: was me that was the problem because everyone else seems
Speaker 2: to be just fine capitalizing off of this, and then
Speaker 2: you hear from maybe one percent of the people that
Speaker 2: have done it.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I kind of experienced something like that.
Speaker 2: But then all of my friends, after seeing what I
Speaker 2: went through, they were like, have you seen Bethany's special
Speaker 2: on this? And I'm like, no, I don't watch a
Speaker 2: lot of TV, right, Like, you should have watched that
Speaker 2: before you went on this thing.
Speaker 1: And I'm like why because I'm not even that way.
Speaker 2: I'm like, if I am who I am on a show,
Speaker 2: I don't care because I'm going to say what I think.
Speaker 2: But I never took into consideration how that all works
Speaker 2: with editing, And so when I watched it, it made
Speaker 2: me feel validated, and I'm sure it made other people
Speaker 2: feel the same way, because there's not a lot of
Speaker 2: people to relate to when it comes to this space.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and the common thing is, oh, you signed up
Speaker 1: for it and you knew it. You really don't know
Speaker 1: what you're getting into, and yes, do you want fame
Speaker 1: and do you want money? And it could be great,
Speaker 1: but you do sort of in your mind consider it
Speaker 1: a workplace you think you're walking into, like an official
Speaker 1: workplace of some non traditional type. And it's shocking the exploitation.
Speaker 1: But by the way the reality reckoning changed the industry,
Speaker 1: like the way that they their practices, their alcohol consumption,
Speaker 1: the touchy feeliness about it, the over like the therapized
Speaker 1: aspect of it. Now it's been changed forever. Every production
Speaker 1: company is validated that it's not the same as it
Speaker 1: used to be. So I did it? Did it did
Speaker 1: make a difference, But like, so let's talk about so
Speaker 1: Love is Blind. This is Netflix. So you go on
Speaker 1: Love is Blind. I'm sure you did it also as
Speaker 1: an entertainment experience. You weren't doing it to meet someone
Speaker 1: in some pot, right, You're like, this is a TV show.
Speaker 1: I was like, what's the worst that can happen?
Speaker 2: Dating sucks if I don't meet someone, maybe on meet
Speaker 2: some cool girls, or it's just like, hey, I never know,
Speaker 2: I never knew what TV was like, Okay, you see
Speaker 2: the behind the scenes and then you're done, or it
Speaker 2: could be something in twenty years that I look back
Speaker 2: and it's like.
Speaker 1: Wow, that's really cool that I did that. No, that's
Speaker 1: really cool.
Speaker 2: But where my mind was as an experience, but I
Speaker 2: didn't know how many of it worked.
Speaker 1: I didn't know what having does it work? So what
Speaker 1: is your experience there? Like, what was how long was
Speaker 1: it and what was the day to day experience? Because
Speaker 1: I've been on different shows. I was on The Apprentice,
Speaker 1: which is an extremely different experience than being on the
Speaker 1: Housewife and every other show.
Speaker 2: So they recruit whoever you get chosen as a cast mate,
Speaker 2: they fly everyone else the same time.
Speaker 1: Ours was probably the first week of April.
Speaker 2: They do basic onboarding for the first couple of days,
Speaker 2: putting you in hotels, going over what the experience is
Speaker 2: going to be, like what you can and can't do. Basically,
Speaker 2: you can't talk to anyone, you don't have a phone,
Speaker 2: you don't have any means of communication.
Speaker 1: For what period of time?
Speaker 2: This was the Apprentice too well for me, it's until
Speaker 2: you're done filming or until we got back from Mexico
Speaker 2: was for me, so I probably didn't have a phone
Speaker 2: for almost three weeks. So your filming experience was three
Speaker 2: weeks till Mexico. Overall, we wrapped right before it was
Speaker 2: our wedding was Memorial Day weekend and of May, so.
Speaker 1: All of April two months. Okay, So you're filming for
Speaker 1: two months and what are you getting paid? I think
Speaker 1: it was one thousand dollars a week. Thousand dollars a week, okay,
Speaker 1: And so what is the experience like from like a
Speaker 1: production standpoint versus the actual like mechanics of the relationship
Speaker 1: standpoint When you're in.
Speaker 2: The pods and when it's the whole group thing before
Speaker 2: you pick a person, it's very different than when you're
Speaker 2: with one person. So when you're filming in the lounge
Speaker 2: and the pods, the cameras are kind of set. In
Speaker 2: the lounge, they can move, but they kind of have
Speaker 2: their positions to get the angles if you're talking to
Speaker 2: someone there. And then in the pods they have a
Speaker 2: camera in each pod. But then there's certain pods that
Speaker 2: have the cameras that like roll back and forth, the
Speaker 2: bigger ones, so you know if you're going into a
Speaker 2: certain pod, you're going to be with someone that they
Speaker 2: want to film with.
Speaker 1: That's like the better cameras, where there's a person in
Speaker 1: there instead of it just being you can tell when
Speaker 1: there when there's like more heat on something, well I.
Speaker 2: Picked that up, or you don't know until you go
Speaker 2: into all the pods and they're like this one is smaller,
Speaker 2: this one has a set camera right here, And then
Speaker 2: there's ones where there's like they know the stars are
Speaker 2: kind of or it's like, okay, I know I'm going
Speaker 2: on a date with easier this person or a big
Speaker 2: date because I'm going into five or ten because they
Speaker 2: don't want they want to there's a person in there
Speaker 2: with the camera in those pods or whichever one it was,
Speaker 2: and the other one's more produced.
Speaker 1: Those are more produced. Okay, So what is it like
Speaker 1: to let's just talk about the sociologic sociological aspect of it.
Speaker 1: Can you meet and be attracted to someone just but
Speaker 1: from their voice? Can you learn a lot of about
Speaker 1: someone with it? I mean, I guess we do it
Speaker 1: on texting on apps, but you have seen their pictures
Speaker 1: and maybe you FaceTime them. But I want to know
Speaker 1: about like really connecting with someone that you've never seen.
Speaker 2: So it's very interesting because the voice piece you one
Speaker 2: kind of imagine what they look like based on their voice.
Speaker 2: Just is it ever accurate for some of them, Like
Speaker 2: one of the guys sounded like f five four fum
Speaker 2: big guy, like cracking beer. So I'm like, I'm imagining
Speaker 2: a guy that goes fishing and just like big and
Speaker 2: just the things that he was talking about in his voice,
Speaker 2: like his inflection, like he it was accurate.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And he said, so someone sounds hot, they usually
Speaker 1: are hot, not all the time.
Speaker 2: There were some guys where I was like, his voice
Speaker 2: sounds pretty normal or he's whatever, and then in person
Speaker 2: he was like a complete do work, Like I would
Speaker 2: have never expected that when you listen to a voice.
Speaker 2: Some of them had really cringe voices, like a like
Speaker 2: that sound in a voice where you're turned off. But
Speaker 2: they may be like an entrepreneur, a lawyer, something that
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh that's great, tell me more.
Speaker 1: Where'd you go to school?
Speaker 2: I want to do whatever it is, But their voice,
Speaker 2: You're like, I'm really having to ignore that almost like
Speaker 2: looks it's almost like we did you? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Did you ever? Like you may not you've never thought
Speaker 1: about voice as much until you were in there, No,
Speaker 1: because that's all you have. Yeah, that's all you have.
Speaker 1: Interesting and what about like this person has like a
Speaker 1: big dick personality that type of thing, like, but you
Speaker 1: know is that usually kind of Yeah, you can tell
Speaker 1: that like short or tall or this person sounds short,
Speaker 1: like does any not with height? I wasn't able to
Speaker 1: tell that.
Speaker 2: But you can tell when people think that they are
Speaker 2: God's gift to earth and are.
Speaker 1: They usually not.
Speaker 2: If they think they're God's gift to earth, they're either
Speaker 2: very narcissistic or just very inexperienced in life and have
Speaker 2: an experienced enough to know that they're not. Okay, So
Speaker 2: you meet this guy and did you think you were
Speaker 2: falling in love with him? Like what did you just
Speaker 2: from the voice? Like what did you think were you
Speaker 2: first impressions of the guy that I ended up with.
Speaker 2: I wasn't that into him. They have you rank everyone
Speaker 2: at the end of the day and then they do
Speaker 2: their matchmaking and their little machine to see if you
Speaker 2: get another date with them.
Speaker 1: And he kind of fell in the middle of the pack.
Speaker 2: I like a lot of charisma and confidence someone coming
Speaker 2: in like leading a conversation, leading questions, having something interesting
Speaker 2: to say outside of I'm this old. This is what
Speaker 2: I do for a living, like, ask me something interesting death,
Speaker 2: And he didn't have a lot of that off the bat,
Speaker 2: and he was younger, so I'm like, eh, But then
Speaker 2: he told you how old he was. You asked the age, well,
Speaker 2: most of them, because your first date, you date everyone
Speaker 2: and it's ten to fifteen minutes, so it's very like,
Speaker 2: I'm fromil weird, this is oh yeah, the first date's
Speaker 2: pretty quick. And so for me, age was kind of
Speaker 2: a thing because I was the oldest woman. I was
Speaker 2: thirty three, and I'm like, if I want to get
Speaker 2: married and settled down, i'd like someone in the same place.
Speaker 2: And there weren't any guys that were my age. Mine
Speaker 2: was twenty nine. The guy I was with was twenty nine,
Speaker 2: where I'm like, God, you don't know until you compare
Speaker 2: them to everyone, right, So at first I'm with him,
Speaker 2: I'm like eh, But then I compare him to everyone else,
Speaker 2: I'm like, I guess he's seven compared to everyone else,
Speaker 2: And I don't really know. I think it was just
Speaker 2: a slow burn where once I gave him a chance,
Speaker 2: he had a lot of depth emotionally, and at first
Speaker 2: I wasn't that turned on by him because he didn't
Speaker 2: have a lot of It didn't seem like dry.
Speaker 1: Then how do you end up? So how did you
Speaker 1: end up with the sky? I think it was the
Speaker 1: vulnerability and the emotional connection because I was more about
Speaker 1: the on paper stuff in my past, where I had
Speaker 1: guys that were successful, went to great schools, great families,
Speaker 1: like checked all the boxes, but they weren't giving me
Speaker 1: what I needed emotionally. You were second guessing your normal
Speaker 1: gut instinct and you would try to like make this
Speaker 1: square fit into a circle in this experience, and then
Speaker 1: I fantasizing it.
Speaker 2: You were like, so it flipped the script where I'm like,
Speaker 2: maybe it hasn't worked in the past, so I'm going
Speaker 2: to do the complete opposite where he doesn't have the
Speaker 2: financial stability.
Speaker 1: I did that. I'd marry that I did that, and
Speaker 1: you're like, maybe this will work, and maybe it's I
Speaker 1: added normal. I needed a normal, basic, small town guy
Speaker 1: because because it's the pendulum, you go for the opposite
Speaker 1: thing of what you did before, but it doesn't mean
Speaker 1: it's what you need. You're just doing the sweeping over correction,
Speaker 1: which this expert on here said so interesting, because then
Speaker 1: you're like, then what do I do the in between?
Speaker 1: Or is it just you have to just have a
Speaker 1: baseline about what you want in life. You're young, so
Speaker 1: it doesn't really matter now not to be also disrespectful
Speaker 1: to the person you're with them. You may be together forever,
Speaker 1: but at a certain age you have to take everything
Speaker 1: down to the sticks and have your own perspective and
Speaker 1: your own opinion about what you really want versus like,
Speaker 1: I need this because I just had that that didn't work.
Speaker 1: He was controlling, so now I needed. Really this you
Speaker 1: need to take You need to like go back to
Speaker 1: your gut instincts, take the house down to the sticks
Speaker 1: and decide on your own what you need, is my opinion.
Speaker 1: Did you talk about being interested in women or that
Speaker 1: you had ever been interested in women with this guy
Speaker 1: or no?
Speaker 2: Yeah, he did know that, and there was another girl
Speaker 2: on the show that was admittedly bisexual.
Speaker 1: But I don't know why they don't really know that.
Speaker 2: I don't know if it's just distruct the audience, but
Speaker 2: maybe the audience isn't.
Speaker 1: Yeah, whenever we talked.
Speaker 2: About intimacy, sexuality, what he was into, what I was into.
Speaker 2: That was something that came up, But so financial issues.
Speaker 2: What was what ultimately broke you guys up in the
Speaker 2: experience or not completely? That was one of them, but
Speaker 2: it was also just the lack of transparency with it.
Speaker 2: I get everyone has their baggage, or maybe it's student
Speaker 2: loans or I started a business, I have this, But
Speaker 2: when someone presents I have no debt, I'm ready to
Speaker 2: settle down. I'm ready to get married. Maybe it's the
Speaker 2: difference in how you view marriage, but for me, you
Speaker 2: have to be in a certain place to be ready
Speaker 2: for marriage. You've got to have your shit together. You're
Speaker 2: not living at home. You have a job that's consistent
Speaker 2: enough for you to know you can get promoted or
Speaker 2: move up or laterally move like what are your goals?
Speaker 2: That to me is when you are ready to have
Speaker 2: a partner. You are a team. And with this person,
Speaker 2: I think their view was happily ever after the love
Speaker 2: of my life, you figure it out our way. If
Speaker 2: I love them, love is enough. And that was a
Speaker 2: huge disconnect.
Speaker 1: But he literally is perfect for the show because love
Speaker 1: is blind perfect that's why they love us, like literally
Speaker 1: not blind. So he is perfect for show. He's like
Speaker 1: the poster child because he really thinks love is blind, which, yeah,
Speaker 1: the name is ridiculous because love is not blind and
Speaker 1: love does have conditions.
Speaker 2: I thought it was more about the looks piece of it,
Speaker 2: love is blind, because the whole point is to get
Speaker 2: engaged sight unseen. But I still stand my ground on that, Like,
Speaker 2: you were not ready for marriage when you have no
Speaker 2: credit and you're lying about your financial issues. Where the
Speaker 2: money went? Why don't you have any It's not that
Speaker 2: I'm judging you that a big piece.
Speaker 1: How did you get into that? How do you catapult
Speaker 1: so quickly into knowing all that? How does that happen
Speaker 1: so one? It's a very fast moving train that you're on.
Speaker 1: I was in therapy way before I started the show.
Speaker 1: I told him I was doing the show. I was
Speaker 1: worried about my mental health and doing it. And I
Speaker 1: consistently was doing therapy while we were still filming and
Speaker 1: after and I'm like, I think I'm gonna get married.
Speaker 2: I really did. I really thought that. I'm like, what
Speaker 2: are the tools that I need? Cause we don't have
Speaker 2: time for premarital counseling. And she was like the two
Speaker 2: biggest reasons for divorce are communication and finances. So it
Speaker 2: sounds like you've got communication figured out. She's like, what
Speaker 2: I have all my couples do as I have them
Speaker 2: pull out all of their bank statements, credit card statements,
Speaker 2: bring whatever credit card it is you have, and you
Speaker 2: both swap in a session review it. Oh, five hundred
Speaker 2: dollars every month for golf. Okay, I know that that's
Speaker 2: normal for him. So when we're in a joint account
Speaker 2: or oh.
Speaker 1: My god, I would die if someone was in my
Speaker 1: finances and what I spent.
Speaker 2: I tell people, but you're about to marry someone, so
Speaker 2: don't you need to know these things yet? No?
Speaker 1: No, no, no, I know, yeah, but I mean I have
Speaker 1: enough money that no one's gonna worry about that, and
Speaker 1: like I don't want them to know all thenution, yes,
Speaker 1: I was totally fair.
Speaker 2: But this is someone that I've known for two weeks.
Speaker 2: Its married in two weeks, sois ridicula?
Speaker 1: But why was it? Why? Yeah? I guess how that's
Speaker 1: what happens. Do you get into like the fantasy of
Speaker 1: it and you actually think you could marry someone if
Speaker 1: to four weeks? Like what the hell?
Speaker 2: You? Well, if you think about it, yeah, you kind
Speaker 2: of are you're in the middle of nowhere, you have
Speaker 2: no communication with friends, family, you don't have a TV,
Speaker 2: you have no phone, you have no current and does
Speaker 2: anybody has anybody's worked. Yeah, but it's very slim at
Speaker 2: this point. It's like averaging maybe one couple that gets married.
Speaker 1: Every season.
Speaker 2: A couple have split, and there's a couple that I
Speaker 2: see and I've been like, wow, they have a great relationship. Really,
Speaker 2: But I think that comes down to that one percent
Speaker 2: where they're on the experiment. They're both in the same
Speaker 2: place in life, they both have whatever, accomplished the same thing,
Speaker 2: they're looking for the same thing, and it just took
Speaker 2: a random thing to bring them together.
Speaker 1: But that's so rare, that is the no. But it's
Speaker 1: still the fact that it's happened at all on there
Speaker 1: is shocking. But yeah, I mean I know Tristan Ryan
Speaker 1: from years ago. It's all shocking. Yeah, but that the
Speaker 1: show is probably more pure back then. If I had
Speaker 1: to guess for sure, So what was the trauma of
Speaker 1: the experience for you? What was so terrible?
Speaker 2: I guess it's just the manipulation. That's maybe it's standard
Speaker 2: in reality TV. But when I was speaking with other people,
Speaker 2: especially the person that I was with.
Speaker 1: Their experience was positive. This was the best thing I've
Speaker 1: ever done. I had so.
Speaker 2: Much fun, the food and the sweet that we had,
Speaker 2: and I saw it, I'm like, that is not what
Speaker 2: I was given.
Speaker 1: I wasn't given that way. Why what do you mean?
Speaker 1: Why why would someone else have a different experience because
Speaker 1: they wanted them to be on the show. I don't think.
Speaker 1: I'm confused. I'm confused.
Speaker 2: I don't think that I was ever a desired candidate
Speaker 2: to be seen on this show. I think that casting
Speaker 2: priest will This is a thought, but it proves to
Speaker 2: be consistent in what I've seen. They have what I
Speaker 2: called chosen ones, where they pick people. They're like, this
Speaker 2: is going to be our frontrunner before anything's happened. This
Speaker 2: is going to be able to surprise them. But yes,
Speaker 2: of course, this is be my front runner. This is
Speaker 2: who we really want to be together. This is who
Speaker 2: we're going to put on these dates. We need them
Speaker 2: to be out of there together. I think I was
Speaker 2: meant to be the blonde that came in that wasn't
Speaker 2: chosen and had a couple of blips that I say
Speaker 2: where people can make fun of me and I knew
Speaker 2: who I was with was supposed to be the front runner.
Speaker 2: I knew that leader on based on how he was
Speaker 2: being treated and spoken to in comparison to how I
Speaker 2: was being treated and spoken to and how things played
Speaker 2: out with airing like it is very clear to me
Speaker 2: I was it was like, oh he chose her.
Speaker 1: Oh that was Oh. They they really didn't want him
Speaker 1: to choose you. You're saying, no, why you're beautiful? You're what?
Speaker 2: Because I think who they wanted him to be with
Speaker 2: this who they kept pushing him to be with, who
Speaker 2: was on who was on the main in commercial trailer whatever,
Speaker 2: which has never happened in Love is Blinde there's always
Speaker 2: a trailer that shows all the drama and all these
Speaker 2: random characters and then the wedding dress, the bells, duh,
Speaker 2: and with ours it was just.
Speaker 1: These two people.
Speaker 2: Was my ex and who his person that was his
Speaker 2: number one the whole time until he chose me, And
Speaker 2: then they keep bringing that person back when they're not engaged,
Speaker 2: they're not a part of this show anymore, but they
Speaker 2: keep bringing them back on to piss me off and
Speaker 2: to to make me look bad.
Speaker 1: And why did it make it so? You feel that
Speaker 1: the show that editing made you look bad, which by
Speaker 1: the way, happens to everybody and most people. But like,
Speaker 1: what was Were you like a pariah in your town?
Speaker 1: Was it like really damaging? Was it bad? Not my town?
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm connected in what I do and who
Speaker 2: I'm with around here. It's not so much that. It's
Speaker 2: more that feeling of someone making you look like something
Speaker 2: that you're just not. And that is the part of
Speaker 2: reality TV. Yes, but I guess it comes down to
Speaker 2: opportunities that you get or don't get compared to other
Speaker 2: people that are on the show or on your season.
Speaker 2: And like production and Netflix have never reached out to
Speaker 2: me to be included into any networking functions reunions. Everyone
Speaker 2: else does, but they won't invite me. And that's why
Speaker 2: fun because they don't I'm not a chosen one. They
Speaker 2: need me to have forgotten because they don't want to
Speaker 2: promote a pretentious brat.
Speaker 1: They want to promote true love.
Speaker 2: And this was interesting because I asked one girl from
Speaker 2: another season who is in a successful marriage, the one
Speaker 2: that I was like, I think that their marriage would
Speaker 2: actually work, and I was telling her about my experience,
Speaker 2: and I was distraught and she was like, me and
Speaker 2: my husband went through the same thing. And I'm like, really,
Speaker 2: because you guys seem so happy. I thought you both
Speaker 2: got great edits. And she's like, on a show like this,
Speaker 2: they need the guy to look good no matter what
Speaker 2: they do wrong. And I was like why, and she's like,
Speaker 2: because it's predominantly watched by women. Women want hope. How
Speaker 2: do they get hope? Look at this great guy. They're
Speaker 2: gonna make them look so great, and they need for
Speaker 2: them to look great. They need to make the woman
Speaker 2: not look so great, to make them look chivalrous, like
Speaker 2: would love someone through anything. Love is blind like that,
Speaker 2: And that for me was eye opening and kind of
Speaker 2: helped me understand a little bit more like why did
Speaker 2: they treat me this way? Why am I made to
Speaker 2: look this way? When I feel like my experience was
Speaker 2: the opposite.
Speaker 1: Here's what I think. I think it's the difference, Like
Speaker 1: you might not be manipulars and strategic enough to navigate
Speaker 1: that experience. You might be a person who went in
Speaker 1: purely like this is gonna be a fun experience. And
Speaker 1: I think we're all let's put it this way. When
Speaker 1: I interviuted for the first time for the Apprentice. This
Speaker 1: wasn't the Celebrity Apprentice. This was the Mark Burnett normal Apprentice,
Speaker 1: like they had had like Bill Ransick, and like it
Speaker 1: was the Trump Apprentice, and then they had one season
Speaker 1: for Martha Stewart. The first season when I went to
Speaker 1: get sequestered for a week in Santa Monica and spent money,
Speaker 1: I didn't have to like charge an outfit to be
Speaker 1: to teach them how smart I am. And I'm I'm smart,
Speaker 1: and I'm a business person and I'm this, and I'm that,
Speaker 1: I'm a go getter. Because I thought I was interviewing
Speaker 1: for a real job. I thought it was like this
Speaker 1: was a real job, and I was like, that's how
Speaker 1: I approached it. I was so naive. I was young.
Speaker 1: I mean, you're young, and you were young when you
Speaker 1: started this. I'm I could be I could almost. I
Speaker 1: could be your mother. No, Bethany, I'm thirty. I could. Well,
Speaker 1: i'm fifty three, I could. I couldn't exactly almost. Let's
Speaker 1: say almost. I'm much older than you. Okay, what I'm
Speaker 1: saying is when I went on too that experience, I
Speaker 1: was in my early thirties and like, I am a
Speaker 1: smart person. I've always been smart. I really thought I
Speaker 1: was going there to get this job, like I wanted
Speaker 1: the job. I needed this job. I was broke, I
Speaker 1: wanted the job. Okay, I went to the end that
Speaker 1: first time, and then I was in first alternate. Now,
Speaker 1: like you know me, like I have the most charismatic personality,
Speaker 1: No one's got better one liners, et cetera, Like for
Speaker 1: arguments sake, How they couldn't cast me as the first
Speaker 1: person would be shocking to everyone. But the way I
Speaker 1: approached that was like it was a real thing. By
Speaker 1: the second time, I got sequestered to go back, which
Speaker 1: because I kept in touch with them and pursued them.
Speaker 1: I remember the clinching moment. Mark Burnett was in the
Speaker 1: room and he said, why should you be here and
Speaker 1: she shouldn't, And I said, because she's worried, because she
Speaker 1: had the balls to wear a fake Mark Jacob's bag
Speaker 1: to this interview. Now, that was like disruptive and it
Speaker 1: was personality based. Had nothing to do with how good
Speaker 1: at business I am, and they didn't give a shit.
Speaker 1: I don't think of how good at business I was,
Speaker 1: And I believe that that's why I was, like this
Speaker 1: bitch just said that to this bitch. That's probably why
Speaker 1: I was cast, and it happened to me with Shark Tank. Now,
Speaker 1: with Shark Tank, I was going in there and the
Speaker 1: powers at b were calling me in and again I
Speaker 1: was like, this is Shark Tank. This is like another level.
Speaker 1: This is serious, this is serious business. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: it's intimidating. It's Mark Cuban, it's this one, it's that one.
Speaker 1: I go in there and I will leave this particular
Speaker 1: person nameless, but they're trying to like intimidate me, and
Speaker 1: they're talking about how the show is so real and
Speaker 1: it's a real business show and like these entrepreneurs, it's like, really,
Speaker 1: they're really you know, Mark Cuban's really smart and Kevin
Speaker 1: O'Leary is really smart. And I had already been on
Speaker 1: the cover of Forbes magazine. I had turned the fastest
Speaker 1: growing lik A brand in history in eighteen months. I
Speaker 1: had been the breakout star and done what no one
Speaker 1: had ever done at House. So I have nor will
Speaker 1: ever do on reality TV. Okay, because the Kardashians had
Speaker 1: my same agent and they followed my model of integrating
Speaker 1: products into the show because of me, and because we
Speaker 1: have the same agent, that I did that much. I
Speaker 1: love you, okay, But that's the facts. I've never said
Speaker 1: this before. That is the fact. Kim Kardashian said she
Speaker 1: didn't drink until I did my deal with this through
Speaker 1: this agent, and then she did a Madori deal. So
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter. No one cares. No, I've not touched
Speaker 1: what they've done. They're incredible, and that's neither here nor there.
Speaker 1: But I'm now in with Shark Tank and they're like
Speaker 1: sort of trying to like dare me not to do
Speaker 1: it and like tell me how hard it is. So
Speaker 1: I leave and I call top ten most powerful people
Speaker 1: in the entertainment industry that someone I know very well.
Speaker 1: I won't name him either, And I leave and I
Speaker 1: call him. I go, Hi, like, this is what they
Speaker 1: just said to me as Shark Tank, Like they were like, no,
Speaker 1: it's real business and this and that, and I said
Speaker 1: what and he goes, it's a fucking TV show, Bethany.
Speaker 1: It's a fucking TV show, that's what it is like.
Speaker 1: And I've been on it and it's interesting and I
Speaker 1: can go ahead to head with Mark and I love
Speaker 1: him and Kevin, et cetera. It is a fucking TV show.
Speaker 1: Number one. So you were on a fucking TV show.
Speaker 1: It's not a real dating experience. It's not really like
Speaker 1: you probably just weren't like this like shark coming in
Speaker 1: and navigating it as an entertainment vehicle, and you were
Speaker 1: having an experience in going through the dating, you know, experiment.
Speaker 1: That's what I think. So I think that they're not
Speaker 1: like proactively saying we're going to edit this person this way.
Speaker 1: It's just like someone could nail it in two seconds
Speaker 1: on a first date, and like someone else could not
Speaker 1: nail it, and when the other person walks away from
Speaker 1: that date, they're going to tell somebody else like it
Speaker 1: went like this. They just crystallized whatever they saw down
Speaker 1: to something so minuscule, and that's what they throw up.
Speaker 1: And it doesn't matter if it reflects who you really
Speaker 1: are as a person. It doesn't matter. It's what's going
Speaker 1: to land the puzzle. No, and I have moved past it.
Speaker 2: It was very hard to get pasted at first, especially
Speaker 2: when it's involving my family. That part was rough because
Speaker 2: I can take a beating. It's my responsibility. I signed
Speaker 2: up for this. But then when it's tying like the
Speaker 2: assumption of how my family works how my family is.
Speaker 2: That was hard to get through, but it has taken
Speaker 2: a turn where I'm putting in the work to do
Speaker 2: my own thing, create my own brand. And for the
Speaker 2: first time ever, I got recognized at Target from a
Speaker 2: lady that was like, oh my god, you're the one
Speaker 2: that does these target reels and I'm like I could
Speaker 2: just cry, Like.
Speaker 1: Finally, I'm trying to get away from that a rent.
Speaker 1: Do you want to do a rint?
Speaker 2: Yeah, like I am on like overcharged efforts to just
Speaker 2: put out the content. This is what I love to do,
Speaker 2: and with time, I'm like, that's what I want people
Speaker 2: to know me.
Speaker 1: I think you're overthinking it. No one cares. Oh, I
Speaker 1: swear to god, it's just fodder. It's think No, it's
Speaker 1: it's fodder that like literally everybody thinks I'm just the
Speaker 1: toughest bitch who's gonna just slice and dice everyone. That's
Speaker 1: what I did in that environment with those people that
Speaker 1: I'm not that I don't associate with normally. That's what
Speaker 1: was going on in that workplace. That doesn't reflect who
Speaker 1: I am. That's one aspect and now I do all
Speaker 1: these other things that are different aspects. But people still
Speaker 1: always remember me as that. But it's such a small
Speaker 1: group of people, and most people in the world don't
Speaker 1: even know about that show, and most people don't even
Speaker 1: know about this. From Love Is of Mine, you can
Speaker 1: reinvent yourself in all these other spaces and use that
Speaker 1: just when you need it. Yeah, and no one's gonna care.
Speaker 1: Like people love to love, people love to hate. It's
Speaker 1: just fodder. It's like the news cycle. Yeah, no, for sure,
Speaker 1: I definitely think you're overthinking it, you know what I mean? Shot, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think you're over And also like now your new identity,
Speaker 1: I'm sure, which is annoying to everyone, is just that
Speaker 1: like you're the one who came out of the closet
Speaker 1: and now you're gay. That's like God.
Speaker 2: Well, then it comes down to like why would you
Speaker 2: be on something to marry a man? And that is
Speaker 2: just to see how naive people are or just dumb.
Speaker 1: I'm like, did you really just asla or did you
Speaker 1: really just say that? Like come on, but you can't
Speaker 1: cut that's the Gabby Windy story too, and you can't
Speaker 1: combat that like you're allowed to be a living, breathing
Speaker 1: person that changes, evolves, you know, people still want to
Speaker 1: peg me the things I said ten years ago on
Speaker 1: television steeple people sti't want to pig peg Kim Kardashian
Speaker 1: into her sex tape. I think she's done. If you
Speaker 1: think since, oh my god, that's crazy. Paras Alton is,
Speaker 1: you know, global entrepreneur. But it's hard to do the rints.
Speaker 1: You got to reinvent, you gotta rinse, and you gotta
Speaker 1: really stay far away from it and really try to
Speaker 1: sanitize it. But most people don't even know about it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, it's an experience. That's just my that's my
Speaker 1: take based on this whole thing. No, for sure, it's
Speaker 1: gone better. Things are fine, things are well, and anyone
Speaker 1: that now goes into it after all of the reckoning
Speaker 1: and all this stuff has to really know anything can happen.
Speaker 1: I do think that it's kind of changing.
Speaker 2: Like any reality TV show, the first few seasons are
Speaker 2: very naive. No one knows what's going to come out
Speaker 2: of it. It's an experience. But then when you see
Speaker 2: kind of what comes with certain people after a show
Speaker 2: that everyone wants to jump on that bandwagon, not realizing
Speaker 2: like that's such a small percentage of people to get
Speaker 2: anything out of it, and then once you're done, you're done.
Speaker 2: There's not a He's in another season for you. It's
Speaker 2: just what do you have to fall back on that's
Speaker 2: real outside of this little blip.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and they want you to present as if it's
Speaker 1: real and act as if it's real when it really
Speaker 1: isn't real. Yeah, you know. I mean it feels real
Speaker 1: in the moment because what you're saying is real, what
Speaker 1: you're doing is real, the interaction is real, but the
Speaker 1: circumstances are real. I don't think we ever realize, like
Speaker 1: how much you're gonna be If I'm thrown starving in
Speaker 1: the mountains with no food for four days, I'm going
Speaker 1: to act differently than if I'm.
Speaker 2: Like a thousand percent what it is. And it's interesting
Speaker 2: that production and people that work on set when you're
Speaker 2: hungry or exhausted or wanting to just be done with it,
Speaker 2: it's always this is an experiment.
Speaker 1: This is an experiment. But if you fall in love
Speaker 1: and get married, no, it's real. It's real. This is
Speaker 1: not an experience. This is exactly exactly That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: It's under the most it's not real to have two
Speaker 1: p people on the Bachelor that come from very poor
Speaker 1: neighborhoods and that are lower or middle class to then
Speaker 1: be going to Thailand and the peaks of fucking Greece
Speaker 1: and having you know, ten fifteen thousand dollars hotel suites
Speaker 1: and fantasies, and then they got to go. Now you're
Speaker 1: going back to where you used to live, and your
Speaker 1: your relationship is going to be the same. Like you
Speaker 1: didn't deal with money, you didn't deal with sex, you
Speaker 1: didn't talk about politics, you didn't talk about religion, you
Speaker 1: didn't talk about anything that goes on in real life.
Speaker 2: And I've never understood, and I've never really watched the
Speaker 2: Bachelor or Bachelorette just because it gives me anxiety to
Speaker 2: think if I was in that position as a woman
Speaker 2: signing myself up with however many twenty other women to
Speaker 2: go through that to maybe be picked. I just feel
Speaker 2: like that's so belittling to yourself, Like.
Speaker 1: Just assume now and it's getting desperate, Yeah, desperate begging.
Speaker 1: You're like a beggar at a buffet.
Speaker 2: And nocause women that are beautiful and amazing, But like
Speaker 2: for me, it would drive me nuts. I feel like
Speaker 2: I would second guess myself and what I was worth.
Speaker 2: When I'm compared to all these other people and letting
Speaker 2: this guy every day choose me or not choose me,
Speaker 2: Why would I ever sign up for that?
Speaker 1: By the way, exactly, you're the prize, but people's that
Speaker 1: we're supposed to be told that we're the prize. I'm the prize,
Speaker 1: I'm worthy, okay, but I'm a beggar. I'm desperate. Let
Speaker 1: me go get his time. I need a minute him.
Speaker 1: Let me take him to the corner and take him
Speaker 1: to that. I would never do that on.
Speaker 2: My really, because he's so animalistic, like survival, and.
Speaker 1: It brings out the worst in women, what women want
Speaker 1: to be desperate and like begging. It's already like that
Speaker 1: in society to begin with that the men get to choose.
Speaker 1: So if we think about it, that show really triples
Speaker 1: down on the degradation of women because now you're like
Speaker 1: begging and gonna go, you know, set yourself on fire.
Speaker 1: So he notices you on the left, it goes over
Speaker 1: to the corner, Oh my god. You know, of course
Speaker 1: people are having sex with them every single time. They're
Speaker 1: trying to get attention, and I maybe I can give
Speaker 1: the bachelor a better blowjob and he'll remember me. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's giving desperate.
Speaker 2: Or maybe they'll do that when they normally wouldn't just
Speaker 2: because everyone else is then I'm going to get if
Speaker 2: I don't, it's wild.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So all of this is to say that we
Speaker 1: live in a toxic society and reality TV has not
Speaker 1: done probably anything good for most Do you think that
Speaker 1: I've had thoughts about this.
Speaker 2: Do you think that there's anything that can be done
Speaker 2: to put people in more of a place like it
Speaker 2: was back in the old days with dating, with technology
Speaker 2: and apps and everything that's out because remember back in
Speaker 2: the day, how your grandparents or parents meet. It's in
Speaker 2: passing and they don't have a phone, they don't have
Speaker 2: social media, and the only way you'll ever see them
Speaker 2: again is here's my number or what's your address.
Speaker 1: I want to pick you up for something. You don't
Speaker 1: take people for granted. But like I think you find
Speaker 1: I think you find a way in this modern age
Speaker 1: of technology to navigate that and use some of it
Speaker 1: for good. So like I have rules, I have rules
Speaker 1: that even if you're in a long distance relationship, which
Speaker 1: can be challenging, and I've done that, I don't text
Speaker 1: anything meaningful anything. It's too tempting. I was upset that
Speaker 1: you just did that, or I wish you did, Like,
Speaker 1: it's too tempting to do that. And it gives you
Speaker 1: a skill set of being patient and having to wait
Speaker 1: to be with someone and to connect with them and
Speaker 1: really talk about it and for it to be like
Speaker 1: I'll be there at eight thirty or miss you, or
Speaker 1: little anecdotal things, but to not really use text for that.
Speaker 1: I think that's a really really big one that takes
Speaker 1: you back to we should not talk about anything serious
Speaker 1: unless we're face to face and talk about any feelings
Speaker 1: or anything like that. And I do think and also
Speaker 1: I've done a lot of dating without like the phone,
Speaker 1: like put the phones down at meals. We're not taking pictures,
Speaker 1: even me, who does a lot of social media. If
Speaker 1: I'm really into someone, I am not producing my film.
Speaker 1: I am not you know, taking pictures of food. I'm
Speaker 1: really trying to be present in the moment and doing
Speaker 1: more outdoor activities with other people, which I think is important,
Speaker 1: like going hiking and things like that. Like I was
Speaker 1: just a wait for the weekend in Vegas and it
Speaker 1: was an appearance and going out one night dancing, which
Speaker 1: was really fun. Like I was like, I want to
Speaker 1: go dancing. I know it sounds ridiculous, but like it
Speaker 1: felt a little old fashioned, Like I want to go dancing.
Speaker 1: I want to learn let's learn how to ballroom, let's
Speaker 1: learn how to like salstar or something. But I was like,
Speaker 1: I want to go dancing. But then because we're in Vegas,
Speaker 1: I was like, we got to go do like a
Speaker 1: hike or something. So trying to do like more of
Speaker 1: like that sort of stuff, like do more things that
Speaker 1: you have to really connect with another person versus the technology.
Speaker 1: But I think that you can't avoid the apps because
Speaker 1: we're not out in the same way as we used to.
Speaker 1: And it is efficient. Like if you are in a
Speaker 1: bar and you see fifty people and you zero in
Speaker 1: on one person, you might have to go out with
Speaker 1: them three times find at their psychopath. At least now
Speaker 1: you can look up, like if they're crazy, if they're catfish, whatever,
Speaker 1: someone's crazy, well you can look up. I'm just saying that,
Speaker 1: you know, there's an efficiency too if someone's lying about
Speaker 1: their job or their real estate or something or something.
Speaker 1: One time there was a sex offender, right, That's what
Speaker 1: I'm saying no, jeez, I don't know that I have,
Speaker 1: and I really don't want to know. It's like the
Speaker 1: first thing that'll pop up under their name if they are.
Speaker 1: I was like, wow, And that is helpful to be
Speaker 1: a public person because if anything's coming out about someone,
Speaker 1: they're going to tell you. Yeah, you know so anyway,
Speaker 1: So that's what I think. I do think there are
Speaker 1: some good parts about it, but I think preserving the
Speaker 1: human connection is critical now like to try to not to. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so that's what I think. You're amazing. Thank you? So
Speaker 1: are you such a good discussion, like a really good,
Speaker 1: I feel like inside baseball discussion about this process reality
Speaker 1: TV and your experience. So you're in a healthy, happy relationship, yes,
Speaker 1: thank god finally, and your only homework is to do
Speaker 1: exactly what you really feel authentic and genuine doing in
Speaker 1: your career and then find out where the fish are
Speaker 1: and figure out what the brand and the line is.
Speaker 2: That's the work in progress. But thank you so much
Speaker 2: for taking the time to chat with me. I'm a
Speaker 2: huge fan. I respect you so much. Not want to
Speaker 2: be like awkward fangirl, but I told all my friends
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm meeting her and I was like shaking
Speaker 2: before coming on here.
Speaker 1: Oh thank you, I'm so excited. Yeah, well I had
Speaker 1: a great time. You're great. I think you're so interesting.
Speaker 1: I the only thing I would say is set it
Speaker 1: and forget it, like rinse it. It doesn't matter. It
Speaker 1: only matters if you let it bother you. And I
Speaker 1: get that all the time. That's a work in progress too.
Speaker 1: I care too much or about put too much effort.
Speaker 1: Didn't even it didn't it's not even real. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: not even real, Like it's not even. It's not even
Speaker 1: and your feelings are real, the experience it's not even real,
Speaker 1: no more than like me, when I used to have conversations,
Speaker 1: I used to think like this was all real. We
Speaker 1: were talking about this person just did that, and can
Speaker 1: you believe? None of it was real because it was
Speaker 1: based in a circumstance that I would never ever be in.
Speaker 1: And so it's kind of like that C section scar
Speaker 1: takes a while for like the numbness to go away,
Speaker 1: but it just does, and you're just like, wait, what
Speaker 1: it's like somebody used to know that show, and that
Speaker 1: experience should just be somebody used to know. Yeah, for sure,
Speaker 1: for sure. So nice to meet you. Yeah, you too.