1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:03,119 Speaker 1: Welcome to Carefully Reckless. The production of Our Heart Radio 2 00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:16,440 Speaker 1: and the Black Effect Oh Ship were back on the air. 3 00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:19,720 Speaker 1: Welcome back to yet another Carefully Reckless episode. What's Your Girl? 4 00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:22,799 Speaker 1: Just hilarious? Now? If y'all hair and a c unit, 5 00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:25,680 Speaker 1: it's because I'm in this fucking shoe box of a 6 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:29,480 Speaker 1: house in Bronx, New York. Now, not coming at the Bronx, 7 00:00:29,520 --> 00:00:32,960 Speaker 1: not coming at any type of establishment or home or 8 00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:35,920 Speaker 1: residency in New York. But y'all know, they try to 9 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:39,720 Speaker 1: fit as many fucking people in the city as they can, 10 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:43,040 Speaker 1: so they build all these low ass houses put together 11 00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:45,720 Speaker 1: like this, and it's like a fucking like a raw 12 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:51,159 Speaker 1: dominoes and ship but Bronx whatever. So we're gonna jump 13 00:00:51,159 --> 00:00:53,840 Speaker 1: straight into it again. I'm fixing people's mask. Now. We 14 00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:55,840 Speaker 1: had a couple of updates. I'm not going to play 15 00:00:55,920 --> 00:00:58,440 Speaker 1: the updates this week. I'm gonna save that for next 16 00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:02,000 Speaker 1: week because we had some pretty rough stories I was reading. Again, 17 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:05,039 Speaker 1: everyone stays anonymous, and we're gonna jump straight in. Hi, 18 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:08,400 Speaker 1: just I need your help. I am twenty seven years old, 19 00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:11,440 Speaker 1: and I am in a very rough and convolated place 20 00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:13,040 Speaker 1: in my life. That's the first time I've heard of that. 21 00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:16,880 Speaker 1: I lost my mother to stage four breast cancer last year. 22 00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:19,720 Speaker 1: I'm so sorry, only after a week of finding out 23 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:22,600 Speaker 1: that she was even sick. She along with my father, 24 00:01:22,760 --> 00:01:26,720 Speaker 1: were preachers. Since then, I've really been hurting emotionally and 25 00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:29,839 Speaker 1: really seeking some reprieve in the form of a man 26 00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:32,880 Speaker 1: for contacts. I am a gay black man, and I 27 00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:36,080 Speaker 1: have never ever been in a relationship. I tried to 28 00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:39,120 Speaker 1: approach men in person through d m S, dating apps, 29 00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:42,160 Speaker 1: et cetera. I find that I am usually met with 30 00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:46,720 Speaker 1: the same responses, which are either you're nice, but you 31 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:50,000 Speaker 1: aren't what I'm looking for, absolutely no response at all, 32 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:54,000 Speaker 1: even in person, or I'm immediately blocked on their social 33 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:56,600 Speaker 1: media at the top of the conversation. Damn, what's what 34 00:01:56,680 --> 00:01:58,800 Speaker 1: are you being weird? What the fund is going on? 35 00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:01,960 Speaker 1: Because I'm kind of your profile and you were very handsome, 36 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:04,520 Speaker 1: you know, and gorgeous at the same time, you know, 37 00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:06,760 Speaker 1: when you slept a makeup on. I know that I 38 00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:09,960 Speaker 1: am not the ideal beauty for gay men, but it 39 00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:13,239 Speaker 1: is hard to gauge why this has happened my entire life. 40 00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:16,880 Speaker 1: I'm an independent person with his own loft car job, 41 00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:19,639 Speaker 1: et cetera. But no one seems like they care about 42 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:22,600 Speaker 1: those things. What advice can you give me to help 43 00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:25,840 Speaker 1: gain clarity on my situation? And it is my desire 44 00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:30,120 Speaker 1: for experiencing romance something that I should just pray away 45 00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:33,239 Speaker 1: because it isn't in the cards for me. Any guidance 46 00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:36,960 Speaker 1: will be greatly appreciated. Just thank you in advance, first 47 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:39,480 Speaker 1: of all, babes, because I'm not gonna see your name, 48 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:41,880 Speaker 1: although I want to, because that's how mad I am 49 00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:44,680 Speaker 1: with you. It seems like you have low self esteem. 50 00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:46,799 Speaker 1: That's the first thing I noticed just off the rip 51 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:49,880 Speaker 1: with you talking. I also want to say I do 52 00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:52,799 Speaker 1: feel for you, and my heart goes out to you 53 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,600 Speaker 1: for losing your mom and um you said your dad 54 00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:59,880 Speaker 1: as well. You use the tents of past because you 55 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:02,120 Speaker 1: said they were preachers. I don't know if your father 56 00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:06,519 Speaker 1: is deceased, but I do give you my condolence for that. Now. Yes, 57 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:09,520 Speaker 1: I do see that you seem like you don't have 58 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:13,200 Speaker 1: the least bit of confidence to say something like that, 59 00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:15,440 Speaker 1: and then you think that you should give up. Baby, 60 00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:18,080 Speaker 1: You're only twenty seven years old. Okay, you may be 61 00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:20,520 Speaker 1: in a rough place right now, and maybe that actually 62 00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:24,280 Speaker 1: it's causing a lot of insecurity as well. Maybe you 63 00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:28,519 Speaker 1: feel flawed. I don't know exactly why. I also noticed 64 00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:31,639 Speaker 1: in your Instagram pictures you are a lot of makeup, 65 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:34,359 Speaker 1: so you kick it up on you now, listen, I've 66 00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:37,080 Speaker 1: seen drag queens do that, but you're not a drag queen. 67 00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:40,360 Speaker 1: I mean, if I'm right, you're just a gay man 68 00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:42,280 Speaker 1: who loves to wear makeup, but you put a lot 69 00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:44,840 Speaker 1: of it on. You also don't have any pictures of 70 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:48,600 Speaker 1: you without makeup. That's also a sign that you don't 71 00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:51,320 Speaker 1: have hot self esteem. You don't think that the natural 72 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:54,600 Speaker 1: you was beautiful and is handsome and pretty, so you're 73 00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:57,840 Speaker 1: covering up yourself a lot. I see that. You also 74 00:03:57,880 --> 00:04:00,400 Speaker 1: say you've never been in a relationship. Have you been 75 00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:02,760 Speaker 1: gay all your life? Have you ever experienced a woman 76 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:06,080 Speaker 1: being with a woman or being attracted to them? Why 77 00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:11,320 Speaker 1: haven't you ever been in a relationship? Has this always 78 00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:13,320 Speaker 1: been a problem for you? Know you said this has 79 00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:16,400 Speaker 1: been happening your whole entire life. But you know how 80 00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:18,560 Speaker 1: you have puppy love where you're like middle school. I 81 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:21,560 Speaker 1: wonder if you ever had like a playboyfriend or play 82 00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:24,680 Speaker 1: girlfriend or somebody that that you liked, like your first 83 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:28,080 Speaker 1: little crush in school and those grade school years, you know, 84 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:30,520 Speaker 1: because that are also tell me a lot about you 85 00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:34,480 Speaker 1: as well. Now you've tried approaching men in person through 86 00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:37,240 Speaker 1: d m s and dating apps, and you're met with 87 00:04:37,279 --> 00:04:41,000 Speaker 1: the same responses. Usually when people say you're nice, but 88 00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:43,680 Speaker 1: you aren't what I'm looking for, you're either trying to 89 00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:47,720 Speaker 1: buy them, You're very clingy, you're overbearing. Now, these are 90 00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:50,720 Speaker 1: not what I'm deeming you. This is not what I'm 91 00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:54,000 Speaker 1: calling you. I'm just saying that's what people with those 92 00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:57,120 Speaker 1: responses are kind of thinking. You probably come on very strong, 93 00:04:57,400 --> 00:05:01,000 Speaker 1: and you probably are extremely likable, but you probably overdo 94 00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:04,400 Speaker 1: it in those settings because you are looking for love. 95 00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:07,360 Speaker 1: But that's the problem. You're looking for it and you're 96 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:10,760 Speaker 1: really really on the prow and that's why it's not coming. 97 00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:14,479 Speaker 1: Just be yourself. But it's kind of seems like you 98 00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:17,480 Speaker 1: don't know who you are yet. You don't know exactly 99 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:19,160 Speaker 1: who you are, and that has nothing to do with 100 00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:22,559 Speaker 1: your sexuality. You probably still don't know what you want 101 00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:25,039 Speaker 1: and a man, because not Canna you even know what 102 00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:27,000 Speaker 1: do you want? If you've never been in a relationship, 103 00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:29,440 Speaker 1: you know you want to be happy. But getting down 104 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:33,800 Speaker 1: to the nitty gritty and the specifics. With specifics, you 105 00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:36,400 Speaker 1: really don't know what you're looking for. What are you 106 00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:38,840 Speaker 1: looking for? Do you have a type? Do you know 107 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:41,719 Speaker 1: what you want from a man when you finally get one, 108 00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:45,280 Speaker 1: Like do you have a list of deal breakers? It's 109 00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:48,279 Speaker 1: in a list of demands? Do you know your love languages? 110 00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:51,799 Speaker 1: Do you know how you may come off to people sometimes? 111 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:54,080 Speaker 1: Do you know how to be laid back and chill? 112 00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:56,280 Speaker 1: Have you ever asked yourself all these you have to 113 00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:59,360 Speaker 1: self assess, like, you have to test yourself and really 114 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:01,320 Speaker 1: get to know yourself. It doesn't seem like you know 115 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:04,839 Speaker 1: yourself enough to even know why you're having this issue 116 00:06:04,839 --> 00:06:07,720 Speaker 1: with dating. So that's the first thing you have to do, 117 00:06:07,839 --> 00:06:10,480 Speaker 1: get to know yourself before you try to jump in 118 00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:14,320 Speaker 1: a relationship after not having one your whole entire life. 119 00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:16,279 Speaker 1: Because when you find out who you are, then you 120 00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:19,040 Speaker 1: can be yourself and then that's what just attracts people. 121 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:23,120 Speaker 1: A confident person who is sure of themselves, who can 122 00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:27,919 Speaker 1: adapt in any social setting. That's how you attract people. 123 00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:31,640 Speaker 1: And that seems hard, It probably seems easier said than done, 124 00:06:31,839 --> 00:06:34,599 Speaker 1: but that's what you have to do. Now, what's going 125 00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:38,080 Speaker 1: on with people immediately blocking you on social media? And 126 00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:39,280 Speaker 1: when you try to come and then what are you 127 00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:41,680 Speaker 1: saw you sending dick pics or what are you saying 128 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:44,960 Speaker 1: some ship like you know, how are you running these 129 00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:47,159 Speaker 1: people away? Because then nobody is going to immediately block 130 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,480 Speaker 1: your ass and keep it moving. There has to be 131 00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:51,880 Speaker 1: something that you're doing and nobody playing with you. Now 132 00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:54,200 Speaker 1: you gotta tell me what do you be doing that 133 00:06:54,279 --> 00:06:57,080 Speaker 1: sounds like you'd be just jumping in niggas dms like yeah, 134 00:06:57,080 --> 00:06:58,880 Speaker 1: I'm trying to suck a dick from the back or 135 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:01,799 Speaker 1: hey you have eight is before you know what I'm saying? 136 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:04,680 Speaker 1: Come on now, just what are you saying? You want 137 00:07:04,680 --> 00:07:07,000 Speaker 1: to sneak dick after so? Well? Like what's going on? 138 00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:10,520 Speaker 1: You're trying to swim through these chocolate alletes? Are you 139 00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:13,600 Speaker 1: saying these kind of things? Because yes, I would block 140 00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:17,320 Speaker 1: you too. You gotta check yourself sometimes, ain't nobody just 141 00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:20,080 Speaker 1: block you for no reason? And then you said sometimes 142 00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:23,600 Speaker 1: you get absolutely no response? Who are you going at? Like? 143 00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:25,760 Speaker 1: Who have you hollered at? It also depends on the 144 00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:29,120 Speaker 1: status as well, like are you jumping in celebrities d 145 00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:31,320 Speaker 1: M s? Are you like what who are you? Are 146 00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:32,920 Speaker 1: you dating on your level? Are you trying to do 147 00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:35,120 Speaker 1: it on your level? And when I say on your level, 148 00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:37,880 Speaker 1: I mean people that you can actually see, uh, somebody 149 00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:39,640 Speaker 1: that you that you just don't see on the internet, 150 00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:42,360 Speaker 1: people that you can actually meet up with and go 151 00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:44,640 Speaker 1: on dates and actually, you know, like people in your 152 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:47,480 Speaker 1: own city and people who work in the same profession 153 00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:50,200 Speaker 1: as you and things like that. That's what I mean 154 00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:52,320 Speaker 1: when I say on your level. It has nothing to 155 00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:55,240 Speaker 1: do with money, has nothing to do with popularity, just 156 00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:58,840 Speaker 1: someone that can compare to you, like your companion and 157 00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:02,160 Speaker 1: congratulations on an independent I'm glad. I'm glad that you 158 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:05,640 Speaker 1: are a young, successful black man who has its own 159 00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:09,880 Speaker 1: loft car job. All of that sounds good, But you 160 00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:12,720 Speaker 1: also said it seems like no one cares about these things. 161 00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:16,480 Speaker 1: I can see why that's defeating a little bit. But 162 00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:19,520 Speaker 1: a part of you better be glad that people don't 163 00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:21,679 Speaker 1: care about those things, because then people would take advantage 164 00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:23,680 Speaker 1: of you for the things you do have. You know, 165 00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:25,560 Speaker 1: just because of the things you do have. You have 166 00:08:25,560 --> 00:08:27,680 Speaker 1: a good job. Oh yeah, people see that, they see 167 00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:30,760 Speaker 1: dollar signs. Got his own car. Okay, he might take 168 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:32,600 Speaker 1: me anywhere I want to go, or you can pick 169 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:35,000 Speaker 1: me up and drive me around. He works, okay, so 170 00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:37,400 Speaker 1: I don't have to work. No people will take advantage 171 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:39,839 Speaker 1: of people like you, So you actually should be glad 172 00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:42,079 Speaker 1: that not a lot of people care about those things 173 00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:44,880 Speaker 1: and you're being independent and having your own that's my 174 00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:48,880 Speaker 1: advice for you. Look inside of yourself and try to 175 00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:52,760 Speaker 1: work on your your self esteem and your confidence and 176 00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:55,720 Speaker 1: learning to live with who you are instead of trying 177 00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:58,560 Speaker 1: to cover it up. Okay, that's what you need to do, 178 00:08:58,679 --> 00:09:01,720 Speaker 1: because as soon as you learn to be yourself, you'll 179 00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:06,400 Speaker 1: be yourself and be you with the fullest, most bubbliest 180 00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:12,280 Speaker 1: personality being you most efficiently, the people will come to you, 181 00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:14,439 Speaker 1: and before you know it, you're gonna be struggling with 182 00:09:14,559 --> 00:09:17,400 Speaker 1: picking motherfucker's you like. Hold Up, I know, I asked 183 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:20,160 Speaker 1: you know, I asked for this advice, and I know 184 00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:22,640 Speaker 1: I said what nobody trying to pay me no mind? 185 00:09:22,679 --> 00:09:24,480 Speaker 1: But now it's too many niggas for me to focus. 186 00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:26,800 Speaker 1: Wait a minute, So that's what you need to work on. 187 00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:29,240 Speaker 1: Hold up, Hold up, I know the ship getting good, 188 00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:31,600 Speaker 1: but listen to just a couple of seconds of a commercial. 189 00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:36,600 Speaker 1: If you love me, you'll listen. Moving on, I'm finding 190 00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:39,520 Speaker 1: it nearly impossible to not drink water whenever I get 191 00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:42,200 Speaker 1: the chance, I don't, and I have never let it 192 00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:45,640 Speaker 1: interfere with my work or functionality. I still work full 193 00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:49,440 Speaker 1: time and maintain relationships and stuff like that. However, I 194 00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:53,720 Speaker 1: simply cannot resist drinking and high volume whenever the opportunity 195 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:57,560 Speaker 1: presents itself, mainly at my home on my own, and 196 00:09:57,600 --> 00:09:59,720 Speaker 1: I feel like it's ultimately getting in the way of 197 00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:02,640 Speaker 1: my intellectual and spiritual growth. It's like I have an 198 00:10:02,679 --> 00:10:06,079 Speaker 1: appetite for fun and good times that I simply can't 199 00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:10,640 Speaker 1: satisfy no matter how many bottles are empty. I understand 200 00:10:10,640 --> 00:10:13,480 Speaker 1: it's not necessarily as bad as smoking meth or crack 201 00:10:13,559 --> 00:10:18,480 Speaker 1: every night, but it's still effectively similar in principle. So, girl, 202 00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:20,720 Speaker 1: I need some advice on how to lower my intake 203 00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:23,760 Speaker 1: and learn how to appreciate a sober night at home. 204 00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:28,720 Speaker 1: Love and respect from the United Kingdom. Hey, baby girl, listen, 205 00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:33,480 Speaker 1: I literally just had the same problem. I just, I'm 206 00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:37,080 Speaker 1: gonna say, suffer because I have al serrative colitis and 207 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:41,520 Speaker 1: drinking flares that up. It's when you have alcers on 208 00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:45,839 Speaker 1: your colon and it gets inflamed with your diet. I'm 209 00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:47,760 Speaker 1: not supposed to eat a lot of fried foods, a 210 00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:50,640 Speaker 1: lot of spicy ship, a lot of liquor. So when 211 00:10:50,679 --> 00:10:53,360 Speaker 1: I was diagnosed with all serative colitis and they told 212 00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:57,240 Speaker 1: me that, you know, I couldn't drink heavy liquor like consistently, 213 00:10:57,360 --> 00:10:59,680 Speaker 1: and I couldn't do it or it would get worse 214 00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:02,320 Speaker 1: in it ultimately damages your liver, and then other things 215 00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:04,200 Speaker 1: get sucked up, and then everything else gets sucked up, 216 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:08,280 Speaker 1: and then you know it's just an ongoing health issue. 217 00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:12,760 Speaker 1: I took breaks. Now you don't have to stop drinking. 218 00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:14,600 Speaker 1: That would be nice as well, that would be greater 219 00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:18,440 Speaker 1: than anything. However, you don't always have to because you 220 00:11:18,559 --> 00:11:21,559 Speaker 1: drink so much. It would be wiser and easier for 221 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:24,880 Speaker 1: you to win yourself off this way. If you drink 222 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:28,320 Speaker 1: every day, drink every other day, put yourself on the schedule, 223 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:31,480 Speaker 1: and so you wan yourself completely down to where you 224 00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:35,280 Speaker 1: think you'll be fine. If you drink every day, put 225 00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:41,880 Speaker 1: yourself on a schedule Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Sunday, and then 226 00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:44,400 Speaker 1: go back to Monday. So to those days you are 227 00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:48,200 Speaker 1: drinking back to back. But that's how you wan yourself, 228 00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:49,920 Speaker 1: if you're not going to go to a a if 229 00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:52,839 Speaker 1: you're not going to seek professional help. If you're not 230 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:55,040 Speaker 1: going to do that, these are some home remedies you 231 00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:59,600 Speaker 1: can do. Drink every other day for two weeks, then 232 00:11:59,679 --> 00:12:02,800 Speaker 1: for the following two weeks, drink every two days. Do 233 00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:06,520 Speaker 1: that for two weeks, and then for the following two 234 00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:12,040 Speaker 1: weeks drink every three days. Into your drinking minimalizes so 235 00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:15,840 Speaker 1: much where you're only doing it on the weekends now, 236 00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:18,520 Speaker 1: or you're only doing it in the middle of the 237 00:12:18,559 --> 00:12:22,120 Speaker 1: week or two three times a week. Now, you have 238 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:24,120 Speaker 1: to do that. You and you have to be strong 239 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:27,160 Speaker 1: willed enough, which you admit to me that you are not. 240 00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:29,600 Speaker 1: So it does saying like if you can't do this 241 00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:35,080 Speaker 1: slowly but surely minimalizing your intake, you just may need 242 00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:39,080 Speaker 1: to seek alcohol therapy. You may need to seek professional 243 00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:42,680 Speaker 1: help that I can't give you. I can just tell 244 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:45,720 Speaker 1: you what's not good for you. And drinking every day, 245 00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:49,200 Speaker 1: whether you're functional or not, it's not good because you 246 00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:52,679 Speaker 1: even admit it, it's starting to funk with your intellectual 247 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:57,280 Speaker 1: and spiritual growth. Spiritual growth is one thing that I 248 00:12:57,320 --> 00:13:00,200 Speaker 1: have delayed in my life time and time again. So 249 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,960 Speaker 1: I know exactly how you feel. That's why you have 250 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:06,040 Speaker 1: to put your spirit first. Your spirit is loud, and 251 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:08,760 Speaker 1: it's like a mosquito. It keeps following you, it keeps 252 00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:11,160 Speaker 1: biting you, it keeps poking you. And for your spirit 253 00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:13,640 Speaker 1: is loud, you just have to listen to it. And 254 00:13:13,679 --> 00:13:16,520 Speaker 1: you have to be serious about this problem that you're 255 00:13:16,559 --> 00:13:18,840 Speaker 1: telling me you have. And I know that you know 256 00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:20,439 Speaker 1: you have it, because you wouldn't be telling me you 257 00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:24,800 Speaker 1: got the damn problem. So just pace yourself. Try to 258 00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:29,199 Speaker 1: pace yourself. Remember every other day for two weeks, then 259 00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:32,319 Speaker 1: every two days for two weeks, then every three days 260 00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:35,240 Speaker 1: for two weeks, all the way until you get to 261 00:13:35,559 --> 00:13:38,719 Speaker 1: drinking two days a week, which can be on the 262 00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:42,000 Speaker 1: days where you don't work. Try to check back in 263 00:13:42,080 --> 00:13:44,720 Speaker 1: with me, all right, and thank you for sending in 264 00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:47,000 Speaker 1: your mess all the way from the UK. Baby, I 265 00:13:47,040 --> 00:13:50,640 Speaker 1: shall be there soon. She try next you come here, 266 00:13:50,679 --> 00:13:52,360 Speaker 1: I need you to fix my mess. I'm a drunk 267 00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:56,160 Speaker 1: h all right. Last, but not least, Hey, Jess, I'm 268 00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:58,319 Speaker 1: in desperate need of some advice. So a couple of 269 00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:01,080 Speaker 1: months ago, my boyfriend threw a part and did not 270 00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:03,680 Speaker 1: invite me. I played it cool, until the day of 271 00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:06,400 Speaker 1: the party, got fine as fuck and popped up with 272 00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:09,200 Speaker 1: some of my home girls. Parties aren't my things, so 273 00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:12,560 Speaker 1: he was completely surprised. At the party, I was confronted 274 00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:15,760 Speaker 1: by a female who admitted to having a sexual relationship 275 00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:18,880 Speaker 1: with my man. As devastated as I was, I played 276 00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:21,160 Speaker 1: it cool because I'm not giving no bitch the power 277 00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:24,160 Speaker 1: to see me cry as you shouldn't. She showed me 278 00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:28,920 Speaker 1: text messages, videos, pictures, and cash apps everything. She was 279 00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:31,400 Speaker 1: playing it like she was the other woman and my 280 00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:34,160 Speaker 1: BF was two times in the both of us whole time. 281 00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:37,320 Speaker 1: She knew about me and had been stalking me for months. 282 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:40,680 Speaker 1: During the whole encounter, my boyfriend was nowhere to be found. 283 00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:45,120 Speaker 1: The next day, he was bagging for my forgiveness, even 284 00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:48,440 Speaker 1: asked me to marry him. Fast forward to today, although 285 00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:50,880 Speaker 1: we aren't together, he's still been trying as hardest to 286 00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:53,400 Speaker 1: prove to me that he's changed and wants me to 287 00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:55,960 Speaker 1: take him back. So my question to you is it's 288 00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:58,800 Speaker 1: wants a cheater, always a cheater, or do you think 289 00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:00,800 Speaker 1: it was just a mistake that helped him grow up 290 00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:04,760 Speaker 1: and realize what he wants? All right? So that was 291 00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:08,240 Speaker 1: very detailed, honey Bunn. Okay, so this was just a 292 00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:11,560 Speaker 1: couple of months ago, all right. I'm not saying it's 293 00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:13,960 Speaker 1: impossible to grow up in a couple of months. But 294 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:16,240 Speaker 1: what I'm saying is it hasn't been that much time. 295 00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:19,400 Speaker 1: Because this was a couple of months, It hasn't been 296 00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:21,680 Speaker 1: that much time since this should happened. And I just 297 00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:23,960 Speaker 1: don't want you to jump back in because you are 298 00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:26,040 Speaker 1: young and you do love your boyfriend, I mean your 299 00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:29,400 Speaker 1: ex boyfriend. You know you're now ex boyfriend. I just 300 00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:31,120 Speaker 1: don't want you to jump back in it and then 301 00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:34,880 Speaker 1: be disappointed again. I think you should give him more time. 302 00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:36,640 Speaker 1: He needs to fill that ship for a little bit 303 00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:38,880 Speaker 1: more than a couple of months, because apparently he was 304 00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:40,920 Speaker 1: lying to y'all, both of y'all for a long time. Now, 305 00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:43,320 Speaker 1: although she knew about you, she still owes you nothing, 306 00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:46,080 Speaker 1: and this ship would have still been going on if 307 00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:48,520 Speaker 1: she would have never approached you at that party, if 308 00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:51,280 Speaker 1: you would have never decided to go to the party 309 00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:53,520 Speaker 1: that he didn't invite you to. Now that says a 310 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:56,520 Speaker 1: lot because he's your boyfriend. He had a party, his 311 00:15:56,640 --> 00:16:00,120 Speaker 1: girlfriend wasn't invited, but the side which was in at 312 00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:03,360 Speaker 1: it because she was there, and how the hell he 313 00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:06,080 Speaker 1: was nowhere to be found if it was his party 314 00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:09,280 Speaker 1: and you and the side bitch then had a whole 315 00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:13,440 Speaker 1: goddamn sha boinga Shenanigan talk and he ain't nowhere to 316 00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:15,640 Speaker 1: be found. Where did he leave the party? Because if 317 00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:18,360 Speaker 1: that's the case, you know why the hell he wasn't 318 00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:21,520 Speaker 1: nowhere to be found because now both of his girls 319 00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:25,080 Speaker 1: are at the same party. Okay, it's given the boy 320 00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:27,960 Speaker 1: his mind, That's what it's given. It's given the boy 321 00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:30,720 Speaker 1: his mind. Music video with mcai Kaife for Brandy and 322 00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:32,280 Speaker 1: monniccause that's what it's given. If you don't know what 323 00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:34,240 Speaker 1: I'm talking about, cause you're so damn young, you ain't 324 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:37,080 Speaker 1: nothing but the Lord whipper Snapper, then go and search 325 00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:39,480 Speaker 1: that video on YouTube. It's a very good music video 326 00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:41,240 Speaker 1: at the end, both of them. But well, look, I 327 00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:43,760 Speaker 1: ain't gonna ruin it for you. Back to your story. Yes, 328 00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:47,280 Speaker 1: so I would give him a lot more months. That girl, 329 00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:50,320 Speaker 1: whether she knew about your ass or not. He cheated. 330 00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:52,960 Speaker 1: He's been lying to both of y'all, and this's been 331 00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:55,880 Speaker 1: going on for quite some time, and that's why it 332 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:58,080 Speaker 1: was so good. That's why he was having his kick 333 00:16:58,120 --> 00:17:00,360 Speaker 1: and eating it too. It was played very well because 334 00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:03,000 Speaker 1: one girl knew, one girl actually knew. See, it's hard 335 00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:05,760 Speaker 1: when both of y'all don't know. It's hard when a 336 00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:08,520 Speaker 1: guy it's too time and two women who don't know 337 00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:11,760 Speaker 1: about each other. It's a little easier to move when 338 00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:13,879 Speaker 1: one of the bitches know about the other one, because 339 00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:16,639 Speaker 1: now you only got one to hide everything from, and 340 00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:19,879 Speaker 1: that's the actual girlfriend. Now, if he's begging you to 341 00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:23,560 Speaker 1: come back, that's exactly what the funk he should be doing. Okay, 342 00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:25,359 Speaker 1: And I'm not saying he doesn't mean it. I'm not 343 00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:28,919 Speaker 1: saying that he hasn't come to a census. But you 344 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:31,480 Speaker 1: ain't over that ship. I know you're not over it. 345 00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:33,680 Speaker 1: I can tell by the way you type the story 346 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,639 Speaker 1: to me. I know you're not over it, but you 347 00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:37,919 Speaker 1: do love him, So I would say give it to 348 00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:40,560 Speaker 1: the end of the year. We in August. See what 349 00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:43,600 Speaker 1: how you feeling around Christmas. If that's too long, go 350 00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:46,640 Speaker 1: ahead and try it, but don't be fucking crawling back 351 00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:49,000 Speaker 1: in my fucking DM telling me that he did some 352 00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:52,160 Speaker 1: more ship by Christmas. If you get back with him 353 00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:55,320 Speaker 1: before Christmas, all right, now, check back in with me. 354 00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:57,199 Speaker 1: I love y'all, And just like that we've come to 355 00:17:57,240 --> 00:18:00,760 Speaker 1: the end of another Carefully Reckless a soul. What's your girl? 356 00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:03,320 Speaker 1: Just hilarious and I'll be fixing mess to the end 357 00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:06,120 Speaker 1: of the year, y'all. Make sure you submit all your 358 00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:09,440 Speaker 1: mess whether you type it, give me a voice note 359 00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:12,879 Speaker 1: however you send it, send it and I will fix it. 360 00:18:13,240 --> 00:19:54,040 Speaker 1: And then my deepest pan voice peace, yeah h. Carefully 361 00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:56,679 Speaker 1: Reckless is a production of I Heart Radio and The 362 00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:59,920 Speaker 1: Black Effect. For more podcasts from our heart Radio, visit 363 00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:03,359 Speaker 1: the I heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you 364 00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:04,600 Speaker 1: listen to your favorite shows.