WEBVTT - No asks for a year

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.

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<v Speaker 1>Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>Today's tip is no asks for a year. Networking feels

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<v Speaker 1>far less transactional when you approach it from a long

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<v Speaker 1>term perspective. Today's tip, like several others this week, comes

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<v Speaker 1>from my friend Dory Clark's new book The Long Game,

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<v Speaker 1>How to be a long term thinker in a short

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<v Speaker 1>term world. Part of building a big, sustainable career is

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<v Speaker 1>having a really good network. And yet networking can feel

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<v Speaker 1>tedious or not fun when you feel like you're constantly

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<v Speaker 1>badgering people to do things. So don't badger people to

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<v Speaker 1>do things. Dori's rule is no asks for a year.

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<v Speaker 1>This doesn't mean you can't ask any questions like Hey,

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<v Speaker 1>what's the name of that transcription service you used, or

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<v Speaker 1>even hey, I want to be on my podcast if

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<v Speaker 1>you are booking guests every week. What Dory is talking

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<v Speaker 1>about is asks that require political capital. That means asking

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<v Speaker 1>someone to introduce you to someone important or recommend you

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<v Speaker 1>for a position, and things along those lines. She notes

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<v Speaker 1>that successful people are fending off people who are making

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<v Speaker 1>these asks all the time. You never want to put

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<v Speaker 1>yourself into that category. She notes that is the category

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<v Speaker 1>of people who must be fended off. Waiting a year

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<v Speaker 1>to ask for any favors prevents anyone from inferring that

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<v Speaker 1>you have an agenda, and frankly, it stops you from

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<v Speaker 1>having one, even subconsciously. It lets you step back and

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<v Speaker 1>concentrate on building a genuine friendship. I love this rule.

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<v Speaker 1>You stop having conversations where you're even thinking, oh, I

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<v Speaker 1>wonder what this person can do for me. You stop

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<v Speaker 1>caring exactly what their job is now because it could

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<v Speaker 1>be totally different in a year. You don't feel the

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<v Speaker 1>need to stop talking with someone interesting to go talk

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<v Speaker 1>to someone else who might theoretically be more useful, just

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<v Speaker 1>because you're not gonna ask for anything useful from anyone

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<v Speaker 1>for a year, you can talk like a normal human

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<v Speaker 1>being and get to know people who are interesting to

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<v Speaker 1>know now. Of course, if you appear out of the

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<v Speaker 1>blue a year after meeting someone with a big ask,

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<v Speaker 1>that is not exactly keeping with the spirit of this rule.

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<v Speaker 1>The spirit is to truly build a friendship. That means

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<v Speaker 1>following up from time to time, checking in on any

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<v Speaker 1>projects or exciting things the person has mentioned, saying hello

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<v Speaker 1>at industry events and go forth. But I will tell

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<v Speaker 1>you honestly, if you've been doing that and having thoughtful

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<v Speaker 1>conversations for a year, you may not even need to

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<v Speaker 1>ask for anything. The person may very well offer to

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<v Speaker 1>use political capital on your behalf, but if you do

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<v Speaker 1>have to ask, it will come from a place of

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<v Speaker 1>mutual trust and respect. You aren't using each other. You'd

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<v Speaker 1>feel differently about deploying political capital for someone after a

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<v Speaker 1>year of interesting conversations then you would feel about an

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<v Speaker 1>ask from someone who is basically just ambushing you. Those

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<v Speaker 1>ikey emails where you've just been introduced to someone and

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<v Speaker 1>all of a sudden they are asking for something huge.

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<v Speaker 1>No one likes those. You don't like those, so you

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<v Speaker 1>don't want to be that person, And if you follow

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<v Speaker 1>Dori's rule of no asks for a year, no one

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<v Speaker 1>will ever perceive you to be that person. Instead, you

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<v Speaker 1>are a real person and much more fun to know.

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<v Speaker 1>In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and

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<v Speaker 1>here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody,

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<v Speaker 1>I'd love to hear from you. You can send me

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<v Speaker 1>your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with

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<v Speaker 1>me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod

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<v Speaker 1>that's b E the number four, then Breakfast p o D.

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<v Speaker 1>You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>At i heeart media dot com that before Breakfast is

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<v Speaker 1>spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much, I

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<v Speaker 1>look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a

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<v Speaker 1>production of I heart Radio. For more podcasts from I

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<v Speaker 1>heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

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<v Speaker 1>or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. H