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Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.

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Speaker 1: Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

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Speaker 1: Today's tip is no asks for a year. Networking feels

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Speaker 1: far less transactional when you approach it from a long

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Speaker 1: term perspective. Today's tip, like several others this week, comes

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Speaker 1: from my friend Dory Clark's new book The Long Game,

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Speaker 1: How to be a long term thinker in a short

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Speaker 1: term world. Part of building a big, sustainable career is

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Speaker 1: having a really good network. And yet networking can feel

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Speaker 1: tedious or not fun when you feel like you're constantly

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Speaker 1: badgering people to do things. So don't badger people to

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Speaker 1: do things. Dori's rule is no asks for a year.

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Speaker 1: This doesn't mean you can't ask any questions like Hey,

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Speaker 1: what's the name of that transcription service you used, or

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Speaker 1: even hey, I want to be on my podcast if

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Speaker 1: you are booking guests every week. What Dory is talking

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Speaker 1: about is asks that require political capital. That means asking

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Speaker 1: someone to introduce you to someone important or recommend you

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Speaker 1: for a position, and things along those lines. She notes

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Speaker 1: that successful people are fending off people who are making

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Speaker 1: these asks all the time. You never want to put

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Speaker 1: yourself into that category. She notes that is the category

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Speaker 1: of people who must be fended off. Waiting a year

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Speaker 1: to ask for any favors prevents anyone from inferring that

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Speaker 1: you have an agenda, and frankly, it stops you from

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Speaker 1: having one, even subconsciously. It lets you step back and

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Speaker 1: concentrate on building a genuine friendship. I love this rule.

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Speaker 1: You stop having conversations where you're even thinking, oh, I

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Speaker 1: wonder what this person can do for me. You stop

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Speaker 1: caring exactly what their job is now because it could

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Speaker 1: be totally different in a year. You don't feel the

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Speaker 1: need to stop talking with someone interesting to go talk

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Speaker 1: to someone else who might theoretically be more useful, just

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Speaker 1: because you're not gonna ask for anything useful from anyone

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Speaker 1: for a year, you can talk like a normal human

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Speaker 1: being and get to know people who are interesting to

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Speaker 1: know now. Of course, if you appear out of the

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Speaker 1: blue a year after meeting someone with a big ask,

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Speaker 1: that is not exactly keeping with the spirit of this rule.

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Speaker 1: The spirit is to truly build a friendship. That means

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Speaker 1: following up from time to time, checking in on any

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Speaker 1: projects or exciting things the person has mentioned, saying hello

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Speaker 1: at industry events and go forth. But I will tell

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Speaker 1: you honestly, if you've been doing that and having thoughtful

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Speaker 1: conversations for a year, you may not even need to

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Speaker 1: ask for anything. The person may very well offer to

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Speaker 1: use political capital on your behalf, but if you do

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Speaker 1: have to ask, it will come from a place of

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Speaker 1: mutual trust and respect. You aren't using each other. You'd

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Speaker 1: feel differently about deploying political capital for someone after a

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Speaker 1: year of interesting conversations then you would feel about an

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Speaker 1: ask from someone who is basically just ambushing you. Those

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Speaker 1: ikey emails where you've just been introduced to someone and

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Speaker 1: all of a sudden they are asking for something huge.

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Speaker 1: No one likes those. You don't like those, so you

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Speaker 1: don't want to be that person, And if you follow

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Speaker 1: Dori's rule of no asks for a year, no one

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Speaker 1: will ever perceive you to be that person. Instead, you

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Speaker 1: are a real person and much more fun to know.

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Speaker 1: In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and

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Speaker 1: here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody,

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Speaker 1: I'd love to hear from you. You can send me

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Speaker 1: your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with

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Speaker 1: me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod

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Speaker 1: that's b E the number four, then Breakfast p o D.

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Speaker 1: You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast podcast.

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Speaker 1: At i heeart media dot com that before Breakfast is

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Speaker 1: spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much, I

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Speaker 1: look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a

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Speaker 1: production of I heart Radio. For more podcasts from I

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Speaker 1: heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

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Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. H