Speaker 1: That's what I would ask you if we were sitting
Speaker 1: around a campfire right now and say, is it worth it?
Speaker 1: Can you deal with that again? Do you trust her
Speaker 1: this time? If the answer in any of those questions
Speaker 1: is I don't know, or maybe not or probably not,
Speaker 1: then the best thing for you to do is ignore
Speaker 1: the message. Hey everybody, welcome back to the podcast. This
Speaker 1: is episode one and thirty nine. Thanks for listening wherever
Speaker 1: you're coming from. I love this platform. I love to
Speaker 1: be able to speak in a podcast platform, long form
Speaker 1: with y'all. I answer your questions. You email me Grangersmith
Speaker 1: podcast at gmail dot com. It goes in the queue.
Speaker 1: I pull it up randomly and I don't have any notes.
Speaker 1: I'm not prepared and I'm not always right. But we're
Speaker 1: going to talk through it and answer these questions, just
Speaker 1: like me and you are sitting in a cab of
Speaker 1: a truck and you just want to run something by
Speaker 1: me and we just talk it out like old friends.
Speaker 1: That's all it is. And you guys have made this
Speaker 1: podcast what it is, so thank you for that. My
Speaker 1: only couple requests are keep them kind of short, keep
Speaker 1: it like the length of the phone. If it gets
Speaker 1: too long and I'm scrolling. It just gets too hard
Speaker 1: to read it in this platform. And then my second
Speaker 1: request is don't send the same email twice because that
Speaker 1: doesn't help. They just it ends up getting deleted and
Speaker 1: it can only come one time. Okay, let's dive in.
Speaker 1: First question says living the Dream with a broken Heart.
Speaker 1: My name is Christian, twenty six years old from Nebraska.
Speaker 1: I'll listen to your podcast every week and it's helped
Speaker 1: me through many life struggles. For the past five years,
Speaker 1: I've been really struggling with people, trusting people, and especially
Speaker 1: other Christians. I've desired to have trust for people and
Speaker 1: hang out with other people that are Christians, get involved
Speaker 1: in a church, but I'm scared that I'm gonna be
Speaker 1: used and judged and taken advantage of. My question is
Speaker 1: what is the best way to overcome this fear that
Speaker 1: I have with the church and other Christians. I know
Speaker 1: that there are Christians and church places that I could
Speaker 1: feel safe, but my perspective is there's none safe and
Speaker 1: I've trusted Christians in church. Thank you for making this
Speaker 1: podcast for people who need a ee man. Christian, thanks
Speaker 1: for emailing Buddy. Shout out to one of my favorite states, Nebraska.
Speaker 1: It's a good question. And first of all, let me
Speaker 1: tell you the church is full of hypocrites. Let that
Speaker 1: settle for a second. The church is full of hypocrites.
Speaker 1: Why because it's full of humans, Guys like me and you.
Speaker 1: We make mistakes. Becoming a Christian doesn't stop you from
Speaker 1: making mistakes, or all of a sudden make you perfect,
Speaker 1: or all of a sudden make you able to judge
Speaker 1: everyone because you're you're high and mighty. It's just not
Speaker 1: the case. And if you hear of anyone talking in
Speaker 1: that way, they're wrong. And I will go as far
Speaker 1: as saying, if you hear people talking that way, they
Speaker 1: probably haven't been reborn again, and they probably haven't been
Speaker 1: digging into what the gospel really means, because it's all
Speaker 1: about humility and surrender, giving up your life for him,
Speaker 1: realizing that you are nothing without him, talking about Jesus,
Speaker 1: realizing that you're no better than anyone else, and that
Speaker 1: you should always treat your neighbor like you would treat
Speaker 1: your own self. And trust me, we treat ourselves very well.
Speaker 1: We feed ourselves, we go to sleep, we make sure
Speaker 1: we have a job that makes us happy, and we
Speaker 1: fall in love with someone we really like. We love
Speaker 1: ourselves even if you have even if you struggle with yourself,
Speaker 1: the reason you struggle with yourself is because you love
Speaker 1: yourself so much that you don't want to struggle with yourself. Right,
Speaker 1: Anything else is a lie. And so if you see
Speaker 1: someone that's all high and mighty and judging you because
Speaker 1: they're a quote unquote Christian and they go to quote
Speaker 1: unquote church, then they're just not representing the good part
Speaker 1: of that of that idea and so, and that's okay too.
Speaker 1: I mean, we all do that at times. It's hard.
Speaker 1: It's hard for me to not go to a concert
Speaker 1: and not judge another band according to what I know
Speaker 1: from my perspective of playing in a band. I try
Speaker 1: not to, but it's hard not to. It's hard to
Speaker 1: hear a band make mistakes and think, wow, they made
Speaker 1: some mistakes. Now I shouldn't tell them about it, right
Speaker 1: I should. I should have more humility than that and
Speaker 1: realize that I make plenty of mistakes myself. That's the
Speaker 1: essence of it. But buddy, Christian, it's ironic, that's your name.
Speaker 1: You shouldn't have a fear of this or be scared
Speaker 1: of this. You said, I'm scared that I'm going to
Speaker 1: be used and judged and taken advantage of. Well, isn't
Speaker 1: that the same with anything in life, Like you don't
Speaker 1: want to get a home loan and be taken advantage
Speaker 1: of by the banker. You don't want to buy a
Speaker 1: car and be taken advantage of or judged by the
Speaker 1: used car salesman. So you keep your guard up and
Speaker 1: you protect your heart, and you walk into church like
Speaker 1: you would anywhere else, not skeptical of it, but you
Speaker 1: just realize what it is. It's a building full of humans. Now,
Speaker 1: the truth is those humans are going there because they
Speaker 1: should go there, because they need to be saved, and
Speaker 1: they need redemption, and they need that humility, and they
Speaker 1: need to be put back in their place, and they
Speaker 1: need to know that they're coming in presence of their creator.
Speaker 1: That's the truth of it. If you see anything else,
Speaker 1: it's just it's a form of insecurity by them. So
Speaker 1: go in with that, Go in knowing that no one
Speaker 1: is better than you, and you're no better than anyone else.
Speaker 1: Then you're at the right place. This question subject line
Speaker 1: says future dreams getting destroyed. Hey Gringer, my name is Tyler.
Speaker 1: I'm from Oregon. I'm sixteen. I recently found your podcast
Speaker 1: through TikTok. My question is that there are so many
Speaker 1: people at my school bringing me down and trying to
Speaker 1: ruin my chances of making my dream a reality of
Speaker 1: going to the NFL. They make fun of me, They
Speaker 1: tell me I can't do it because I'm not good enough.
Speaker 1: They trash talk me. I do my best to ignore it,
Speaker 1: but I kiss I just can't take it anymore. How
Speaker 1: would you deal with this? God blessed Tyler? What's up? Buddy?
Speaker 1: Shout out to Oregon. I love that state too. Thanks
Speaker 1: for finding me on TikTok, and let me dive into
Speaker 1: your question. I want you to question any NFL player.
Speaker 1: Imagine sitting down with any of them and asking them
Speaker 1: if they ever had people that doubted them in their life.
Speaker 1: What do you think the answer to that would be
Speaker 1: all of them one hundred percent would say yes. But
Speaker 1: they would also say, it doesn't matter what other people
Speaker 1: think of you when you're playing. It only matters how
Speaker 1: you feel about yourself when you're playing. You're gonna let
Speaker 1: them stop you. Hey, I'm gonna tell you right now, Tyler,
Speaker 1: if you are sixteen, and you're in a place where
Speaker 1: it affects you what other people think, and it affects
Speaker 1: you how other people are bringing you down at your school.
Speaker 1: You ain't ready for the NFL. Brother, You ain't ready
Speaker 1: because that's all you're gonna see. Wait till you get
Speaker 1: to a higher level. So you want to play college ball?
Speaker 1: What til you get to play college ball? Do you
Speaker 1: think the judgment's going to be easier then? And then
Speaker 1: imagine the NFL. You think that fan base at at
Speaker 1: whatever city you go to is going to go easy
Speaker 1: on you? Do you think that coaching staff is going
Speaker 1: to go easy on you? You're in for a rude awakening.
Speaker 1: Tough enough man, tough en up, get thick skin. Football
Speaker 1: is a mental game. It's about mental toughness, right, That's
Speaker 1: where it starts. Everything else, the agility, the physical ability,
Speaker 1: the fundamentals, the technique, all of that comes after mental toughness.
Speaker 1: And so right now you need to work on this
Speaker 1: part of your game because nothing else matters more than
Speaker 1: your mental toughness. If you can't get this past you
Speaker 1: at sixteen, you will not make it. And so add
Speaker 1: me right here on this podcast. Add me to the group.
Speaker 1: Of people that's telling you you're never gonna make it,
Speaker 1: And I hope you take that the right way. I
Speaker 1: hope you take it like okay, challenge accepted. Granger Smith
Speaker 1: told me that too. Challenge accepted. Get mental tough work
Speaker 1: on this. Block it out, Block out the noise. Go read,
Speaker 1: Go read about Teddy Roosevelt when he wrote about being
Speaker 1: in the arena write, go read about Teddy Roosevelt when
Speaker 1: he wrote deare Mighty things, the speeches that he wrote.
Speaker 1: You think all those people up there in the arena
Speaker 1: that are mocking you and telling you you can't do it,
Speaker 1: they're up there in the cheap seats. Do you think
Speaker 1: they know what it's like down there on the field.
Speaker 1: The answers know, and so if they don't, because the
Speaker 1: answers know, then why would you listen to them. You're
Speaker 1: the one out there sweating in the middle of the field,
Speaker 1: dirt tears. That's all that matters. The people that are
Speaker 1: on the field with you listen to them, not the
Speaker 1: people in the cheap seats. Next question, subject line says,
Speaker 1: my ex reached out to me. Hey, Grangeer, my name
Speaker 1: is Evan. I'm twenty three from Dallas, Texas. My ex
Speaker 1: and I split after a year of dating back in January.
Speaker 1: It's been painful, but through counseling, my friends, church, and
Speaker 1: your show, I've healed a lot. She reached out to
Speaker 1: me this past weekend. I have no idea why. I
Speaker 1: was immediately filled with anxiety because of it. I've tried
Speaker 1: to follow your advice and think with my brain and
Speaker 1: with my heart. But what should I do about this
Speaker 1: whole deal? Continue to live my life and make her
Speaker 1: chase me? Or do I entertain this for a bit?
Speaker 1: I think I know the answer, but I would still
Speaker 1: like to know what you have to say. Evan. Well,
Speaker 1: it's interesting you know the answer, but you're asking it
Speaker 1: anyway to me, and I like that. It's good. Thank
Speaker 1: you for the email. Shout out to my home state
Speaker 1: of Texas here. So this all depends on where you
Speaker 1: are in your heartbreak, where your heart position is right now. Now,
Speaker 1: you getting filled with anxiety immediately because she messaged you
Speaker 1: is not a good sign. You could say, hey, what's up,
Speaker 1: I'm still thinking about you. Let's go to coffee, and
Speaker 1: then you go to coffee and then she says I
Speaker 1: want you back, and then your heart opens back up again,
Speaker 1: and the wound that you had started to heal starts
Speaker 1: to bleed again, and then the same pattern happens all
Speaker 1: over again. She breaks up with you, and you're back
Speaker 1: at square one. After all that healing that you went through,
Speaker 1: after the time that it took for you to get
Speaker 1: past this, you're broken all over again. So then you
Speaker 1: have to ask yourself, do I want to do that?
Speaker 1: Is that something I'm willing to do just in case
Speaker 1: it does work out this second time? That's up to you.
Speaker 1: That's what I would ask you if we're sitting around
Speaker 1: a campfire right now, and say, is it worth it?
Speaker 1: Can you deal with that again? Do you trust her
Speaker 1: this time? If the answer in any of those questions
Speaker 1: is I don't know, or maybe not or probably not,
Speaker 1: then the best thing for you to do is ignore
Speaker 1: the message. It's also one of the hardest things to do,
Speaker 1: because your natural reaction is to reach out as fast
Speaker 1: as possible. But if you truly want to protect yourself,
Speaker 1: if you truly want to heal, if you truly want
Speaker 1: to move on and see what else is out there
Speaker 1: for you, you'll just delete the message and move on.
Speaker 1: All right, Let's go to a very interesting question here,
Speaker 1: it says Subjecline, my very rational brain makes it hard
Speaker 1: to believe in God. Hey Grandeur, my name is Gavin.
Speaker 1: I'm twenty four years old and I don't come from
Speaker 1: a religious family, but I work closely with two serious
Speaker 1: Catholics and serious Christians, serious meaning that they're strong in
Speaker 1: their faith. My issue lies here. Being surrounded with God
Speaker 1: at work has eventually chipped away at my agnostic, atheistic
Speaker 1: thoughts to the point where I want, in all caps,
Speaker 1: to believe in God. However, it's very hard for my
Speaker 1: rational brain to believe in something that I can't feel
Speaker 1: with any of my senses. I want to believe this
Speaker 1: isn't it. I want there to be an after I
Speaker 1: want there to be an afterlife. The idea of blackness
Speaker 1: and nothingness for eternity scares the hell out of me.
Speaker 1: I come to the conclusion myself that people that believe
Speaker 1: in God are scared to die, and not that I'm not.
Speaker 1: It seems that they just want to desperately believe that
Speaker 1: there's more to life after this one. But what if
Speaker 1: there isn't. My question is this, how do I go
Speaker 1: against every rational thought that I have in my head
Speaker 1: and welcome God into my life. If you took time
Speaker 1: to read this, I thank you Gavin from Ohio. Thank
Speaker 1: you Gavin. I love this question. Shout out to Ohio.
Speaker 1: I love that state. And Buddy, I think I think
Speaker 1: you're asking a really good question, and I want to
Speaker 1: say that I'm on the same train with you. I'm
Speaker 1: a rational guy. I'm a very practical guy. I don't
Speaker 1: I don't live by people that say I just believe
Speaker 1: because I believe. I just have faith because I don't know.
Speaker 1: I grew up this way. It's what I was taught.
Speaker 1: So I just believe need more than that. And so
Speaker 1: let me just walk you, Gavin. Let me walk you
Speaker 1: through my brain when I think about your question from
Speaker 1: an agnostic slash atheistic viewpoint, and you say, you say
Speaker 1: you're rational, and so you would rather be an atheist
Speaker 1: because that's more rational than being a Christian. So let
Speaker 1: me walk you through my brain with that exact thought. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna challenge you. An atheist would believe that there
Speaker 1: is no God. There never was a god. We all
Speaker 1: came from amba and pond scum, which eventually grew legs
Speaker 1: and eventually became some kind of sea creature that walked
Speaker 1: out of the water over millions of years and then
Speaker 1: grew feathers some of them, some of them grew hair,
Speaker 1: some of them turned into monkey like forms, then grew
Speaker 1: an intelligence, and then lost their hair, and millions of
Speaker 1: years later, here we are. That's what you're saying is rational.
Speaker 1: So I would challenge you on that and say, Gavin,
Speaker 1: is that rational? That's rational as opposed to my view.
Speaker 1: There is an almighty creator that made us in his
Speaker 1: image just the way we're supposed to be today. And
Speaker 1: you say, yeah, that's crazy Granger, and I go, okay,
Speaker 1: how about this. Let's go backwards. Let's go back to creation.
Speaker 1: Let me start with this question, can something come from nothing?
Speaker 1: The answer is no. We know that that's the answer.
Speaker 1: Something can't come from nothing. So let me lead you here.
Speaker 1: If there is something, which there is, we look around
Speaker 1: this earth, we see something. So if there is something,
Speaker 1: then that means because it can't come from nothing, then
Speaker 1: that means there always was something, because at some point
Speaker 1: something can't come from nothing. So as far as you
Speaker 1: go back in eternity past, there always was something. Maybe
Speaker 1: you're thinking, no, there's quantum physics and we've proven now
Speaker 1: that something can come from nothing. So that's the first argument.
Speaker 1: Can come say can something come from nothing? I'd say
Speaker 1: absolutely not. The rational thought. The rational thought is if
Speaker 1: there is something, there always was something. Now, as Christians,
Speaker 1: we know that that something is God. Maybe maybe that's
Speaker 1: not enough for you, So let's let's move forward. Say
Speaker 1: you did come from ponds, com me and you were
Speaker 1: both ponds come literally, that's that's our ancestry. And then
Speaker 1: through millions of years we grew these legs and here
Speaker 1: we are. So if that's the case, why do you
Speaker 1: care about anything? Because nothing matters, Nothing is beautiful, There
Speaker 1: is no love. There absolutely are no morals. There's absolutely
Speaker 1: no conviction inside you that says that's probably wrong or
Speaker 1: this is probably right, or I love her. That doesn't
Speaker 1: exist because you and I are ponscum and pond scum
Speaker 1: doesn't have any of those kind of emotions. So then
Speaker 1: you say, well, no, we evolve that way because of
Speaker 1: what that's in our nature. It's in our nature to love.
Speaker 1: And I say what is nature? Where did nature come from?
Speaker 1: Did that evolve from nothing? Too? And then I say
Speaker 1: why are we different than any other creature on this planet?
Speaker 1: Now I would say it's because we're made, according to
Speaker 1: the Bible, made in the image of God. And part
Speaker 1: of that image is we think. We love of we create,
Speaker 1: we paint, we make music, we have ambition, we build
Speaker 1: beautiful buildings because in our nature we are creative beings.
Speaker 1: Why is nothing else creative? Why is nothing else a
Speaker 1: lovable creature or an emotional creature or a creative creature?
Speaker 1: Nothing and nothing ever has been? And why haven't our
Speaker 1: brains evolved any more than they were when we read
Speaker 1: ancient text three thousand years ago, four thousand years ago,
Speaker 1: when we read ancient texts that we have copies of,
Speaker 1: we look at that and we go, these people, this
Speaker 1: is what I think when I read that stuff. I
Speaker 1: think these people are no less intelligent than me, Like
Speaker 1: they're just as intelligent four thousand years ago writing these
Speaker 1: ancient documents. So our intelligence, of course, we have built
Speaker 1: upon what we've learned. And when I speak of evolution,
Speaker 1: I'm not talking about some fish that grew an extra
Speaker 1: fin because it needed it because of survival of the fittest.
Speaker 1: I'm not talking about some bird that grew a longer
Speaker 1: beak so it could reach into the pollen of a
Speaker 1: certain flower. That's just survival of the fittest. We understand that.
Speaker 1: Once again, I'm trying to stay on this rational train
Speaker 1: with you, Gavin. So then I take you to Christianity,
Speaker 1: which is different than all other religions. This is the
Speaker 1: religion where we know God finds you. You don't find God,
Speaker 1: you can't attain God. Because if there was a creator
Speaker 1: way back at the beginning of the universe, if somebody
Speaker 1: did build this, make this, create this, do you think
Speaker 1: that creator would want to keep in touch with us
Speaker 1: in some way, would want to communicate with us in
Speaker 1: some way. I mean, we'll speak rationally. Why would a
Speaker 1: creator make this and then disappear and hide man? And
Speaker 1: as Christians, we know that that's revealed to us through
Speaker 1: the Bible, through human writings inspired by God. That just
Speaker 1: so happens. We go back in the Bible and we
Speaker 1: start digging in, especially to the New Testament, and we
Speaker 1: see all these ancient prophecies that were written a thousand
Speaker 1: years before that, before the New Testament, that have been
Speaker 1: fulfilled historically. And when the New Testament speaks, it speaks
Speaker 1: of specific names in specific towns, at specific dates, with
Speaker 1: specific events that we could trace back and go, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I see that. And it was in front of eyewitnesses
Speaker 1: written by many authors, the same story, by hundreds of
Speaker 1: eye witnesses that attest to this. And then here's where
Speaker 1: it gets tricky, Gavin, you said you think religion comes
Speaker 1: from people that are scared to die. Here's the trick.
Speaker 1: Those people that wrote the Bible stories died for and
Speaker 1: they didn't seem to mind. These were martyrs in the
Speaker 1: New Testament, these disciples, these apostles, died for what they wrote,
Speaker 1: and they didn't seem to mind dying for it at
Speaker 1: any time, Gavin, listen, rational speaking here, at any time,
Speaker 1: any of these people that wrote these stories could have said,
Speaker 1: because we know this, we note historically the Romans gave
Speaker 1: them options. All you have to say is it's not true.
Speaker 1: I denounce it. All it was a lie. I was
Speaker 1: tricked into this by so and so because if they
Speaker 1: were going to pay off my family or something. That's
Speaker 1: all they had to say during the most gruesome torture.
Speaker 1: And guess what they didn't. They didn't say it. They said, fine,
Speaker 1: kill me, kill me for it, and they gave them
Speaker 1: the worst death and they died for it. So then
Speaker 1: you say, well, maybe they were crazy. I say, all
Speaker 1: those people were crazy, all of them, and they all
Speaker 1: kept the same story consistently. When we find these ancient writings, Gavin,
Speaker 1: we find pieces of the New Testament and the Old Testament.
Speaker 1: We had the Isaiah Isaiah Scroll too. As we find
Speaker 1: these pieces in their original first century form, and we
Speaker 1: find these fragments and we put them together, and they're
Speaker 1: on three different continents, and we find them, and each
Speaker 1: time we find one, we still find them. Today there's
Speaker 1: over five thousand of them, these fragments. We still find them,
Speaker 1: and every time we do, it's consistent with another one
Speaker 1: two continents away, the same story. We go, Man, how
Speaker 1: could these people be crazy and keep their story straight?
Speaker 1: How could they be lying and die for it and
Speaker 1: perpetuate that lie so much that they would have to
Speaker 1: go through Say, some king wanted to lie about this,
Speaker 1: so he would have to go through these thousands of documents,
Speaker 1: spread through three continents, all over and find all of
Speaker 1: them and change them all to what he wanted the
Speaker 1: narrative to be. Is that rational? That's impossible. So there's
Speaker 1: one option left, Gavin, Listen, there's one option left. It
Speaker 1: was true? Was it true? That's what got me here.
Speaker 1: And for a rational guy like you, I respect that
Speaker 1: that's what you got to wrestle with. That man, good luck,
Speaker 1: because that's what you have to wrestle with. And here's
Speaker 1: the kicker to it all. Remember what I told you
Speaker 1: about Christianity. Every other religion it's man finding God. Christianity
Speaker 1: is God finds man. So I'm going to ask you this.
Speaker 1: I'm going to go back to your question. Why do
Speaker 1: you think this is? You're wrestling with this right now.
Speaker 1: Why do you want to know God? Is it because
Speaker 1: something bubbled up inside you and you wanted to know
Speaker 1: that you manifested? Or is God? I'm saying, Gavin, it's
Speaker 1: time to activate you. Interesting? Is God calling you? Gavin?
Speaker 1: Anyone else listening to this podcast? Is God calling you?
Speaker 1: That's what you got to wrestle with. You say you
Speaker 1: want proof? Look around you. Look at this universe, Look
Speaker 1: at the order of it, look at the design of it.
Speaker 1: Look at the air we breathe. It's perfect for humans.
Speaker 1: Look outside and out of space. You see anything else
Speaker 1: like this? It's biggest satellites and telescopes that we have.
Speaker 1: Have we ever seen anything like this? No? Not in
Speaker 1: twenty twenty two. That's interesting. Rational, Let's take a break.
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Speaker 1: next question has no subject line, and here we are
Speaker 1: back to Christianity. It says, hey, Granger, I'm getting baptized soon,
Speaker 1: and I'm really nervous about sharing my testimony in pointers.
Speaker 1: Thanks man, don't no one says you have to tell
Speaker 1: your testimony. Tell them you don't want to. Don't do it?
Speaker 1: Is that what your church does? It makes you get
Speaker 1: baptized and then get up and say your testimony. Tell
Speaker 1: them you're passing on that done. There's nothing requiring you
Speaker 1: to do that right now. Until you're comfortable with it.
Speaker 1: I think you will be one day, but don't worry
Speaker 1: about it. By the way, I get a lot of
Speaker 1: questions about baptism. How you should do it, Should babies
Speaker 1: get baptized, should adults get baptized? It is not required
Speaker 1: for salvation at all. It's the outward expression of an
Speaker 1: inward change. The thief on the cross next to Jesus
Speaker 1: went to Paradise with Jesus. He never got baptized. You
Speaker 1: could be on the way to get baptized in your
Speaker 1: car and get killed in a car crash. Does that
Speaker 1: mean all of a sudden you're not saved? No, of
Speaker 1: course it doesn't. Keep that in mind. Man, going through
Speaker 1: these questions. Let's see subject line Guarding your Heart. Hey Grangeer,
Speaker 1: this is Lane from Texas. I'm twenty one. My last
Speaker 1: relationship found me very vulnerable. I didn't guard my heart
Speaker 1: at all. Eventually, after two years, it ended with her
Speaker 1: saying she loves me and wants everything with me, but
Speaker 1: not right now. We walked away from each other. However,
Speaker 1: I still don't know how to guard my heart. What
Speaker 1: is too much and what is too little? Thank you.
Speaker 1: I find the podcast comforting in your knowledge. Thank you, buddy.
Speaker 1: I appreciate this. Lane. Man, I'm just a I need
Speaker 1: you to know I'm just a normal guy. I'm just
Speaker 1: I'm one beggar telling another beggar where I found bread.
Speaker 1: There's nothing more than that. So guarding your heart is
Speaker 1: so much easier, Lane, It's so much easier at the
Speaker 1: beginning of the relationship. It's much more difficult later on
Speaker 1: six months in one year in it's hard because you've
Speaker 1: already committed your heart and and you keep going so
Speaker 1: it's easier at the very beginning to set your own boundaries,
Speaker 1: your own guidelines before you start. I'm talking before you
Speaker 1: pick her up for the first date, you tell yourself,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to tell this girl I love her
Speaker 1: for X amount of time. I'm not going to go
Speaker 1: on a second date until X amount of time. I'm
Speaker 1: not going to text her tonight. Little tiny things. I'm
Speaker 1: not going to open up about my past relationships until
Speaker 1: there's a moment when that's ready to happen. There's things
Speaker 1: like that, the little guidelines that you could protect your
Speaker 1: heart with instead of you pick her up and you go,
Speaker 1: oh oh, I feel butterflies that think I love this girl.
Speaker 1: Might tell her tomorrow, maybe we should, maybe she should
Speaker 1: come and move in with me next week. It's much
Speaker 1: easier at the beginning to set the guidelines because once
Speaker 1: you go too far, it's too late. So you're at
Speaker 1: a good spot right now, just out fresh out of
Speaker 1: a two year relationship that ended that you didn't guard
Speaker 1: your heart and your heart broken. So now starting over,
Speaker 1: you go, Okay, I'm good, I'm going back into a
Speaker 1: new relationship, and the next time that happens, I'm setting
Speaker 1: these rules before I pick her up for that first day.
Speaker 1: Do it early early on next question, subject line dating
Speaker 1: for years. Heygre andur had like to remain anonymous. In
Speaker 1: episode one and thirty six, you said dating someone for
Speaker 1: years usually doesn't work. I'm talking about before marriage. I'm seventeen.
Speaker 1: I've been with my girlfriend for three years. What's your
Speaker 1: advice on dating multiple years when you can't get married?
Speaker 1: Thank you? Yee Yeah, Nathaniel, you wrote this. I have
Speaker 1: heard this a bunch people that are in high school
Speaker 1: asking me this kind of question. So I will say this.
Speaker 1: First of all, if you're seventeen, you've been dating your
Speaker 1: girlfriend for three years, that means you started dating at fourteen.
Speaker 1: That's pretty young man. It's pretty young to be in
Speaker 1: a serious relationship. I want to say this was hard
Speaker 1: for me. I struggled with this in high school too,
Speaker 1: so I'm absolutely in not a better place than you.
Speaker 1: I'm just looking back on my life and going Man,
Speaker 1: if I could have changed a couple of things, this
Speaker 1: would have been one of them. Guard my heart. Don't
Speaker 1: stay in these relationships for multiple years and years and years.
Speaker 1: But we get this idea that we need the relationship
Speaker 1: like we need it because it makes us a better person.
Speaker 1: We're a better part of ourselves because we're in a relationship.
Speaker 1: And sometimes it doesn't even matter who we're in the
Speaker 1: relationship with. We're just better because we're in one and
Speaker 1: everyone else is in one and it looks really good
Speaker 1: on Instagram and Facebook. So, Nathaniel, you're already in this
Speaker 1: three years. You have a lot of thinking to do.
Speaker 1: You're seventeen. You have to ask yourself, am I going
Speaker 1: to be twenty and dating this girl for six years
Speaker 1: and then I'm gonna be ready for marriage at twenty five?
Speaker 1: And that's going to be eleven years into this dating
Speaker 1: relationship and I'm never gonna really have known any other
Speaker 1: girls besides her because I started dating her when I
Speaker 1: was fourteen, and then ten years down the road after marriage,
Speaker 1: You've been with her twenty one years, married for ten.
Speaker 1: You're thirty one or no, thirty five at that point,
Speaker 1: according to my bad math, you're thirty five years old,
Speaker 1: been with the same girl for twenty one years, and
Speaker 1: you've been married for ten Is that Do you think
Speaker 1: that that's leading you to a good place? Do you
Speaker 1: think that's healthy? I'm asking you all these rhetorical questions
Speaker 1: and you got two kids running around, and you're confident
Speaker 1: in this relationship enough to know, because maybe you are,
Speaker 1: maybe it could work. But I'm here to tell you, Nathaniel,
Speaker 1: if it didn't. If it did work, it would be rare.
Speaker 1: You would be an exception to all other humans. You'd
Speaker 1: be a one percenter if this works. If you're thirty
Speaker 1: five years old, same girl for twenty one years, married
Speaker 1: for ten and a couple kids, you'd be like a
Speaker 1: one percenter that's happy in their marriage, no divorce on
Speaker 1: the horizon. Everyone else is getting divorced around you, and
Speaker 1: you're still totally happy. There's some bad odds. That's all
Speaker 1: I'm saying. That's all I'm bringing up here. So at
Speaker 1: some point it's like, hey, babe, I think I need
Speaker 1: some space. Oh my god, why because I'm seventeen and
Speaker 1: I started dating you when I was fourteen, and I
Speaker 1: just I feel like I'm not going to be good
Speaker 1: for you if I don't at least see the world
Speaker 1: myself as a single man. If I don't go to
Speaker 1: coffee with another female and see what another voice sounds
Speaker 1: like on the other end of a phone, it's a
Speaker 1: disservice to her. If you don't do that right. So
Speaker 1: many people right now are going no. I've been married
Speaker 1: for seventeen years and we started dating when we were eleven.
Speaker 1: I know. I see your messages on TikTok. People want
Speaker 1: to argue everything I say. All I'm saying is I'm
Speaker 1: trying to get you to play the correct odds here.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to give you the best odds at the
Speaker 1: blackjack table. And right now you have a really bad
Speaker 1: hand and you're trying to beat the dealer, and you
Speaker 1: can because the dealer could bust. But odds are you're
Speaker 1: going to lose this hand? Is that what you want
Speaker 1: to play? Are you going to wait and keep your
Speaker 1: chip on the table and throw out another hand, maybe
Speaker 1: a better one next time? How many hands would you
Speaker 1: have to play to finally beat the dealer? There's relationships
Speaker 1: for you. It's like how many dates do you want
Speaker 1: to go on until you're confident with one for marriage?
Speaker 1: You want to just take one hand at that? And
Speaker 1: you got a two and a four sitting on your table,
Speaker 1: bro Is that what you want to do? Or do
Speaker 1: you want to say I fold, I'm gonna keep playing
Speaker 1: some more hands. I'm gonna get some more experience at
Speaker 1: this table before I'm confident with putting all my chips
Speaker 1: on it. Right. That's my answer in a long way.
Speaker 1: There's another question about baptism. That's the subject line. It says,
Speaker 1: thanks for this podcast. It's helped me in ways that
Speaker 1: I needed help that I didn't even know. My question
Speaker 1: is does getting baptized as a baby count as baptism
Speaker 1: or do you need to get baptized on your own
Speaker 1: choice in accepting Jesus into your life. My church does
Speaker 1: bad baby baptisms, but I feel like it's more for
Speaker 1: the parents to show off their kid than it is
Speaker 1: for the church. Thanks Grangor. This is Justin from Wisconsin. Yes, Justin,
Speaker 1: I believe with you. I believe that you need to
Speaker 1: be at an age of reckoning where you could understand
Speaker 1: what baptism actually means. I don't think there's anything wrong
Speaker 1: with baptizing babies, but I do think you should go
Speaker 1: back and do it again. But it is not required
Speaker 1: for your salvation. Keep that in mind. It's a great
Speaker 1: outward expression of an inward change, and a baby can't
Speaker 1: do that. But hey, if there's nothing wrong with a
Speaker 1: family taking up a baby in front of the church
Speaker 1: and getting baptized and sprinkling their head or whatever. You know,
Speaker 1: there's nothing wrong with that. I think it's a beautiful thing.
Speaker 1: So I wouldn't tell anybody that's wrong. But I want
Speaker 1: to tell you, don't put that much emphasis on it.
Speaker 1: You do you? Okay? Here's a man. You guys, there's
Speaker 1: like back to back, back to back God questions. Here's
Speaker 1: this next one says Hey Granger. I'm twenty eight years old.
Speaker 1: I'm a married man from Rockton, Illinois, with my first
Speaker 1: daughter on the way. I've seen you play many times.
Speaker 1: I love your music, and I have reading comprehension problems,
Speaker 1: and I find it hard to read the Bible every
Speaker 1: day and understand what it says. I mostly picked chapters
Speaker 1: at random and hope that it speaks to me, but
Speaker 1: without direction or clear goal to learn, I find myself
Speaker 1: getting inconsistent. Do you have any advice for specifically choosing
Speaker 1: what I can understand better so that I can have
Speaker 1: a closer and more clear relationship with Christ. Thanks for
Speaker 1: all you do spreading the word. Yeah, man, justin shout
Speaker 1: out to Illinois. Thanks for the question. I think there's
Speaker 1: a problem with picking random chapters and reading them and
Speaker 1: just hoping they speak to you, like Bible roulette. The
Speaker 1: reason I think there's a problem with that is because
Speaker 1: it's the same problem as picking random verses like what
Speaker 1: I like to call them coffee mug verses, and that
Speaker 1: you you know, the kind of verses that you see
Speaker 1: on T shirts and coffee mugs and people put them
Speaker 1: on wooden signs and hang them in their house. Because
Speaker 1: it gets it out of context. You lose when you
Speaker 1: pick a verse or even a chapter like that, you're
Speaker 1: losing the context of who was writing it, where they
Speaker 1: were writing it, why they were writing it, and the
Speaker 1: purpose of writing it to those people that they're writing
Speaker 1: it to. Does that makes sense? So if you pick
Speaker 1: a random chapter, it's hard to keep that context in
Speaker 1: mind of why it matters to you, because you would
Speaker 1: know if you read everything in whole why those people
Speaker 1: were hearing it at the time, by the person for
Speaker 1: the right reason. Then you can go, yeah, that's me,
Speaker 1: that's me too. So consistently, consistency starts with creating a habit,
Speaker 1: and the habit would start with picking a time of
Speaker 1: day mineus the morning before everyone gets up, a cup
Speaker 1: of coffee, and I have a plan every morning. I
Speaker 1: have a plan. I can't live randomly in the Bible,
Speaker 1: so I read. There's a many Bible reading plans, many
Speaker 1: my personal one that I read of I'm on my
Speaker 1: second year of it. It's called the McShane plan. And
Speaker 1: the McShane plan takes me through four chapters a day.
Speaker 1: My little brother Parker says that force too much. He'd
Speaker 1: rather do two. Whatever. Okay, maybe you'd rather do one,
Speaker 1: Maybe you'd rather do a paragraph. As long as you're
Speaker 1: keeping consistent with the context of it, and you're going
Speaker 1: day to day, paragraph after paragraph, that's fine. I like
Speaker 1: it because it skips me around from the Old Testament
Speaker 1: to the New and then back to the Old and
Speaker 1: then back to the New again. It gets me through
Speaker 1: the New Testament twice in a year, Psalms twice in
Speaker 1: a year, Old Testament once in a year. But it
Speaker 1: all starts with one idea, and this idea is and
Speaker 1: it kind of goes back to the very first question
Speaker 1: I had about atheism and creation. If if there is
Speaker 1: an almighty career, which we which I pretty pretty well
Speaker 1: established that I believe there isn't in my first question
Speaker 1: on this podcast, If there is, and you think would
Speaker 1: this creator speak to his creation or when he goes silent,
Speaker 1: and then we believe, well, yeah, of course he did.
Speaker 1: He spoke to his creation, and he still speaks to
Speaker 1: him actively through what through the word through the Bible.
Speaker 1: So then then you have to come to this realization
Speaker 1: at some point. It's like, there's this creator that created
Speaker 1: this universe that we could see all around us in
Speaker 1: perfect order, and it has flaws because it's a fallen
Speaker 1: world and there's bad things that happen here. But through
Speaker 1: the bad we see this order that happens, I mean,
Speaker 1: starting with the sun and the Earth rotating around the
Speaker 1: sun in a perfect order create an atmosphere that we
Speaker 1: live perfectly in as humans. So then we say, if
Speaker 1: that creator, with that kind of order spoke to us
Speaker 1: through a certain word, why would I not read that
Speaker 1: every single day? And why wouldn't I read that like
Speaker 1: my life depended on it. If it mattered to the
Speaker 1: Creator to speak to his creation through a word, why
Speaker 1: would I not treat that like the most valuable book
Speaker 1: on the planet. And so once you come to that,
Speaker 1: then you set your alarm in the morning, you get
Speaker 1: up before your family does, and you get that cup
Speaker 1: of coffee your daughter's on her way, your wife's pregnant,
Speaker 1: and you get that book and us you say, oh God,
Speaker 1: I am lost and I need renewal. Speak to me
Speaker 1: today through this word, this ever living word. It's presents,
Speaker 1: it's profound, it's relevant to me. Let it speak to
Speaker 1: me today, because I got a feed here, angree, and
Speaker 1: I have to feed right here, the living food. Speak
Speaker 1: to me through these words. Let me find my meaning.
Speaker 1: Let me find how to be a better father for
Speaker 1: my daughter and a better husband to my wife, because
Speaker 1: every day I need it, because I get broken and
Speaker 1: I fail and I fall, and I have to pick
Speaker 1: up again right back here where I left off at
Speaker 1: this word. Why, Because the creator gave me this word,
Speaker 1: arrived there with that mentality before you read, and you're
Speaker 1: gonna have no problem digging into a reading plan. If
Speaker 1: you don't believe that, if you don't care about that,
Speaker 1: then it's useless. It's gibberish. None of it makes sense.
Speaker 1: Why would it? Just ancient writings doesn't matter. Look at
Speaker 1: it from that perspective. Next question says depression from the
Speaker 1: weather in Texas. Question mark says lighthearted question. Hey, this
Speaker 1: is Lisa from Saskatoon Saskatchewan, Canada. I always struggle with
Speaker 1: seasonal depression, as winter here is so cold and long,
Speaker 1: it's hard to get out and get sunlight and fresh
Speaker 1: air for a good six months. I always dream of
Speaker 1: one day moving south. I was just wondering if you
Speaker 1: could struggle from seasonal depression if the weather is too hot,
Speaker 1: or is life always good in Texas. Lisa, thank you
Speaker 1: for the question. Shout out to my friends in Saskatchewan.
Speaker 1: I love your question because I am very affected by
Speaker 1: the weather and I lived, you know, many years ago.
Speaker 1: I lived in Nashville, and in Nashville there in February,
Speaker 1: they'll see like one or two days of sunlight in
Speaker 1: the month of February. And I remember going home to
Speaker 1: Texas and visiting friends in February, and they're going out
Speaker 1: in Austin. They're going out on Lake Travis. They're out
Speaker 1: on a boat. It's sixty degrees in February. It's sun
Speaker 1: it's not a cloud in the sky. They're just living
Speaker 1: it up and I'm just feeling so good. I was
Speaker 1: just loving it. And then I'd go back and get
Speaker 1: on a plane and go back to Nashville, where it's
Speaker 1: just it's like forty degrees and misting rain and overcast,
Speaker 1: and Nashville's on the very eastern side of the Central
Speaker 1: time zone, so the sun goes down earlier in Nashville
Speaker 1: than it does in Texas because they're on the same
Speaker 1: time zone, but Nashville is so much farther east, so
Speaker 1: it gets dark at like four point thirty and it's
Speaker 1: just so so depressing. You know, people in Seattle because
Speaker 1: of the rain so much, they'll they'll put UV lights
Speaker 1: in their home to soak it in. I traveled to
Speaker 1: Alaska recently and we played a tour. It's like five
Speaker 1: days and it was freezing cold, and it was overcast,
Speaker 1: and it didn't get light till like ten am, and
Speaker 1: it got dark at five pm. And I just felt it.
Speaker 1: I felt the gloom on me. So short answer, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it can affect you, and I hear you. I hear you.
Speaker 1: But then the longer answer it would be that finding
Speaker 1: a warmer client climate with more sunshine doesn't necessarily fix
Speaker 1: your problems. There's other things you got to deal with.
Speaker 1: There's other ways to find joy and peace and happiness
Speaker 1: and love. There's other ways besides the weather that bring
Speaker 1: those to you. In fact, Most of those things come
Speaker 1: from different sources than the weather. The weather is just
Speaker 1: one factor. So should you move to Texas? Sure, it's great.
Speaker 1: It gets really hot, really hot. I don't know if
Speaker 1: you'd handle the heat in August it's one hundred and
Speaker 1: ten and gets terrible, but we do see beautiful February
Speaker 1: days when it's sixty and sunny. Just know that it's
Speaker 1: a joke, and I know you're joking to say is
Speaker 1: life always good in Texas? Because it's not. That depends
Speaker 1: on the person. That depends on where you're seeking your
Speaker 1: joy from. Remember that, and there's also a lot of
Speaker 1: people that could absolutely love Saskatchewan, Canada. It's a beautiful place.
Speaker 1: So find the source of your joy and then supplement
Speaker 1: that with the source of your sunlight. Later, let's hit
Speaker 1: another one question subject line talking to girls. Hey Granger,
Speaker 1: I'm Bobby. I'm fifteen. I know that you say at
Speaker 1: my age I should stay out of relationships, and I
Speaker 1: don't really want to be in one. But when I
Speaker 1: talk to girls or when they talk to me, I
Speaker 1: always seem to get very awkward, even if the conversation
Speaker 1: is something that we're doing in class. So I guess
Speaker 1: what I'm asking is what is the best way to
Speaker 1: seem cool and not awkward? Love the podcast, the music
Speaker 1: in the smith, Thank you, what's up? Bobby? Fifteen? Man?
Speaker 1: You are just right on track of where I was,
Speaker 1: and so many people, so many boys at fifteen, would
Speaker 1: say the same thing. So my best solution for you
Speaker 1: is just wait a few years. It's going to come.
Speaker 1: You won't be awkward forever. Fifteen is an awkward age.
Speaker 1: I remember being fifteen like it was yesterday and being
Speaker 1: so awkward in front of girls. I didn't know what
Speaker 1: to say. I grew up with two brothers. I didn't
Speaker 1: know what it was like to have a girl in
Speaker 1: my life besides my mom, and that's different. I didn't
Speaker 1: know anything about girls. I didn't know how to talk
Speaker 1: to them. They're like aliens to me. But you will.
Speaker 1: And a good way to start this is to stay
Speaker 1: in groups or like herd animals. So stay in a
Speaker 1: group with your friends, and you get six guys and
Speaker 1: six girls, and you go to a movie together, or
Speaker 1: you go to a football game together, and you mingle
Speaker 1: and you mix up in there, and so you're still
Speaker 1: with your pack. You're with your boys, and they're with
Speaker 1: their girls, and so you feed off each other. If
Speaker 1: it gets too awkward, you just kind of nudge your
Speaker 1: buddy and you go back into guy mode. But every
Speaker 1: once in a while you get stuck in this little
Speaker 1: conversation with the girl and you're still surrounded by your
Speaker 1: safety around you, your guys, and you slowly learn little
Speaker 1: things like ooh, that was dumb. I probably shouldn't have
Speaker 1: said that. That's something I would only say to my
Speaker 1: guy friends. Or I just said that, and she actually
Speaker 1: really was interested in that mental note. Girls like it
Speaker 1: when I talk about stuff like this or when I
Speaker 1: talk in this way. Okay, good, you're learning, and that's
Speaker 1: what you do at fifteen, Bobby. This is totally natural,
Speaker 1: and this is good. It's totally normal. Stay in groups,
Speaker 1: mingle with other girls, slowly learn and that'll allow you
Speaker 1: eventually to break off and be with a girl, just
Speaker 1: you and her, and you go to dinner, and you're
Speaker 1: confident by that point because you've talked slowly to girls
Speaker 1: for a few years before that. Thank you, guys so
Speaker 1: much for these questions. If you have one for me
Speaker 1: Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com, we'll see you next Monday.
Speaker 1: Thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith Podcast. I appreciate
Speaker 1: all of you guys. You could help me out by
Speaker 1: rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe
Speaker 1: to this channel. Hit that little like button and the
Speaker 1: notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload
Speaker 1: a video. If you have a question for me that
Speaker 1: you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast at
Speaker 1: gmail dot com. Yiyi