Speaker 1: Hello, welcome back to Emergency Intercolm.
Speaker 2: It's been a minute, y'all.
Speaker 1: I know it's been a while since we've sat in
Speaker 1: these chairs.
Speaker 2: In a minute, it's been like a month and a half,
Speaker 2: almost two months since we've recorded.
Speaker 1: All the Oh my god, it literally has been Yeah.
Speaker 2: All the episodes'all I've been seeing has been stockpiled, loaded up.
Speaker 2: Hence why my hair was long in the last episode,
Speaker 2: but the one before that my hair was short.
Speaker 1: Well, how does it feel to be back in this chair?
Speaker 1: Like you've been gone for so long? Are you different?
Speaker 2: It feels awful to be in this chair.
Speaker 1: Oh wow. I thought you like maybe would express like
Speaker 1: joy and love for your craft or something.
Speaker 2: Absolutely not.
Speaker 1: Never that calling this a craft was a really brave statement.
Speaker 1: I just made, Like that was really crazy.
Speaker 2: This is a craft. This is a career. How about you?
Speaker 2: Are you Are you excited to be back?
Speaker 1: Absolutely not. I'm dreadful.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 1: Actually, I'm so excited to talk because I've realized I
Speaker 1: talk so much, and that's like not a shocker to
Speaker 1: anyone on the planet, but I've just been so much
Speaker 1: more talkative. Like literally, any thought I have, I'm like,
Speaker 1: who can I text this too? Because I just haven't
Speaker 1: and it hasn't.
Speaker 2: Been fucking me because this bitch, I'm not kidding, ignored
Speaker 2: me the entire month we were gone, and I'm glad
Speaker 2: I got.
Speaker 1: Because I wanted to get our I wanted to get
Speaker 1: our our tension going. And it's like there was I
Speaker 1: was building, longing and yearning with you.
Speaker 2: No, no, you just ignored me.
Speaker 1: But you can't deny that. When I got back, I
Speaker 1: went to your room to say hello, and we had nasty,
Speaker 1: dirty hot sucks because I hadn't spoken for so long.
Speaker 2: But I would like to speak.
Speaker 1: It wasn't complaints when I was finger blasting you.
Speaker 2: Okay, well let's get into the episode, shall we? Because
Speaker 2: I have a switch cartridge and YA hasn't done to
Speaker 2: eat the Nintendo's Switch Cartridge challenge not a thing.
Speaker 1: I don't know why you keep saying it.
Speaker 2: Just try it?
Speaker 1: Were people actually eating this? Because why do I feel
Speaker 1: like that actually happened? Like you kids ate this?
Speaker 2: Just try it, lick it.
Speaker 1: I'm not licked at your cartridges?
Speaker 2: Please please please, no, you lick it. I'll lick it.
Speaker 2: It tastes good, Like why.
Speaker 1: Do you do it?
Speaker 2: Like I didn't hide it Okay, Well.
Speaker 1: I don't want like hello, I already did. Well, I
Speaker 1: don't want like on like video like there bru that
Speaker 1: tastes like fucking acetonin.
Speaker 2: But that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: It's like the Nino do they like code it in
Speaker 1: that kid don't eat it.
Speaker 2: In bitter They coat it and bitter ship. So when
Speaker 2: the kids put it in their mouth, they spin it
Speaker 2: because now you want to play the challenge. Now you
Speaker 2: want to do the child.
Speaker 1: I want to lick the metal part.
Speaker 2: I doubt the metal tastes bad.
Speaker 1: No, the metal taste. Oh no, it tastes really bad. Actually,
Speaker 1: oh my god, that's actually crazy. Yeah, I feel like
Speaker 1: I saw when Switches were like first coming out, that
Speaker 1: kids were like eating the cartons.
Speaker 2: It's definitely because kids were eating DS cartridges for sure.
Speaker 2: And I wasn't one of those kids like that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they definitely don't have like fragments of cooking moms.
Speaker 2: Sitting in your cunnin tin dogs isn't sitting in my
Speaker 2: colin right now, My n tin dogs died inside of
Speaker 2: my body.
Speaker 1: Should I tell you the story I've been holding out?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Okay, So me and Orian were on our world tour
Speaker 1: Europe Extravaganza, and we would go to the beach.
Speaker 2: Why would a man be there?
Speaker 1: Why would a man be there? I hate how loud one.
Speaker 1: I hate how loud your boys can get too. I
Speaker 1: hate myself because like no one knows the pain of
Speaker 1: hearing yourself, like while you're trying to while I'm trying
Speaker 1: to disassociate and fall down a rabbit hole of nothingness
Speaker 1: on TikTok, to hear my own voice is the most like,
Speaker 1: but it's not the first time because I'm really famous.
Speaker 2: I was gonna say, like, it's it's really hard for
Speaker 2: me too to hear my voice and be scrolling on
Speaker 2: my feet and see myself pop up.
Speaker 1: Like I'm like, oh, not again me as if I
Speaker 1: didn't fully like an edit of myself like.
Speaker 2: Three days Oh I know. I literally go through the
Speaker 2: emergency intercom. I search up emergency intercom on TikTok and
Speaker 2: like every single video on there just so it boosts
Speaker 2: the algorithm, like the girls need to see this.
Speaker 1: You use the bathroom and like leave it playing like.
Speaker 2: On loop exactly. No, literally, we actually have a.
Speaker 1: Bunch of iPhones in the house, like you know in
Speaker 1: Target when they have the iPhones on the little thing.
Speaker 1: We have like eight of them in the living room
Speaker 1: and then we just like do the accessibility like auto
Speaker 1: scroll thing and we have it going through every few minutes.
Speaker 2: You know, the Emergent or the Pokemon Go player bikes
Speaker 2: that have like the big wall of uh Like.
Speaker 1: No, I don't screen, and I never needed to know that.
Speaker 2: It's the crazy thing you'll ever see. It's like basically
Speaker 2: they do it Pokemon Go bike phones. They do it
Speaker 2: because it's it's crazy. It is the most dystopian shit
Speaker 2: you'll ever see in your life. Hold on, but they
Speaker 2: do it so they can like walk a bunch and
Speaker 2: hatch a bunch of eggs at once.
Speaker 1: Oh, it's sweet that it's an old man though exactly
Speaker 1: like it's like it's crazy.
Speaker 2: There's like a bunch of people that do it.
Speaker 1: Dude, he's actually fucking fired.
Speaker 2: What he should do is start a streaming business where
Speaker 2: he boosts the streams on these flop ass bitches accounts.
Speaker 2: That's the one thing that I don't believe. I believe
Speaker 2: in the dead Internet theory that, uh, there's no way
Speaker 2: I love Selena Gomez life. She's the girl like, but
Speaker 2: there's no way her music is streamed that much. I
Speaker 2: do not hear it anywhere the weekend, Like, yeah, maybe,
Speaker 2: but I still think they're like buying streams from stream
Speaker 2: farms to boost or streams. So when I see it,
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh my gosh, he has ninety million monthly listeners.
Speaker 2: Oh maybe I need to tap into that. Same with
Speaker 2: like the Kardashians. Everyone like, how the fuck does Jimmy
Speaker 2: Kimmel have like eighty billion followers on Instagram followers like that,
Speaker 2: but he only gets like a thousand likes and ten
Speaker 2: thousand views on his videos on ig Like dead Internet
Speaker 2: theory is real, Like we're just all interacting with really
Speaker 2: advanced spots at this point, and like we're probably not
Speaker 2: talking to anyone, we're talking to AI, like robots like
Speaker 2: that are borderlines sentient?
Speaker 1: You were actually schizophrenic?
Speaker 2: No, look up at the dead Internet theory. I swear
Speaker 2: to god, it's a real thing.
Speaker 1: Like it's that's just that was your Drew Syop corner.
Speaker 2: Oh no, I have I got a whole bunch of
Speaker 2: shit to do in it. Look at this, Look at
Speaker 2: all these.
Speaker 1: Are those all like Syop corner. Oh, that's just like you're.
Speaker 2: This You're no this on to there is psyop So
Speaker 2: I got like four episodes worth written them and I
Speaker 2: did it all on the airplane, and I look like
Speaker 2: a like a real psycho, like a real psycho. Well,
Speaker 2: what's the story.
Speaker 1: So we would go to the beach every day and
Speaker 1: just lay out and rot in the sun because it's
Speaker 1: all we wanted to do.
Speaker 2: Did y'all play with each other's pussies at all?
Speaker 1: Yeah, lots of tripping happened for sure. And like me
Speaker 1: and Ryan went to Europe and we were like this,
Speaker 1: but we came back like this. And it was actually
Speaker 1: when we were getting on the plane, we were like this,
Speaker 1: and they had to, like, you buy four chairs, so
Speaker 1: we bought a whole row so we could just like
Speaker 1: lay and then we would buckle like over our hips
Speaker 1: and then our heads like earthing hips.
Speaker 2: Yeah, wow, you have really fertile hips, like you have
Speaker 2: really nice berthing hips. I'm gonna start saying that to people.
Speaker 2: You shouldn't you had a nice like just womanly body.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, your hour glass figure is shining through
Speaker 1: that skims dress right now. You look gorgeous. That's what
Speaker 1: you should comment on. Somebody's I g bost.
Speaker 2: Take her swimming on the first date because not only
Speaker 2: they have makeup now, but they got skim suits skims
Speaker 2: by you know the.
Speaker 1: But what like if you could have a skims bathing suit,
Speaker 1: is that what you mean? Or you mean like oh,
Speaker 1: because you're saying like it's fake.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, I'm just telling the truth. Like I'm I'm
Speaker 2: I spit, I spill. Also sorry, keep going. I'm gonna say,
Speaker 2: like the video of being like, dude, it's crazy to
Speaker 2: see this video of this kid that and he grew
Speaker 2: up to be a cult leader and like all the
Speaker 2: comments are like, who the fuck is this and why
Speaker 2: is the cult leader? There's been a lot of videos
Speaker 2: going viral of me recently, of me like being like
Speaker 2: a homeless person in the back of Madeline in Steven's videos,
Speaker 2: and like it just reaches the side of the internet
Speaker 2: that people have no idea.
Speaker 1: And people actually think you're like, yeah, the killer.
Speaker 2: They literally think I'm the killer and that is like
Speaker 2: my ultimate dream.
Speaker 1: And then when they actually find the bodies in Central Park,
Speaker 1: it's gonna be like, dude, it wasn't a joke.
Speaker 2: Cut that shit off. Cut that off.
Speaker 1: Okay, So we would go to this beach all the time,
Speaker 1: and in Europe it's like not like naughty to take
Speaker 1: your top off at the beach.
Speaker 2: Fuck, bro, why didn't I get to go? Man, I
Speaker 2: need to see all the boobs on the beats. But
Speaker 2: that's why I didn't go see Barbie because there was
Speaker 2: no tits in the movie.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I'm saying. If they showed some puss,
Speaker 1: I would have.
Speaker 2: Been yeah, yeah, like hello Barbie, like Mattel, like step
Speaker 2: up your fucking puss.
Speaker 1: Oh you want to talk about like showing like people
Speaker 1: for who they really are. And it's supposed to be
Speaker 1: the sentimental, like human experience of a Barbie movie. But
Speaker 1: where is the pussy?
Speaker 2: We've said the p word like eighteen totally the most.
Speaker 1: We've ever said it in an episode. Yeah, but actually
Speaker 1: this this story does have to do with my kuchi.
Speaker 1: But I was not about to say my pee word.
Speaker 1: But so we went to this beach every day that
Speaker 1: we were there, and we went to it every day
Speaker 1: last year, and while we were walking down this hill,
Speaker 1: we realized this ship was a glitch. I'm not kidding.
Speaker 1: It was a glitch in the system because we never
Speaker 1: saw I know, we never saw this like open way
Speaker 1: of the railing because it's like a long road down
Speaker 1: a mountain that you have to walk down. It's like
Speaker 1: a fifteen to twenty minute walk. And we never saw
Speaker 1: this opening in the railing, but as we're walking this time,
Speaker 1: we notice it and we look over and Orin's like
Speaker 1: we should go down there to see what there is,
Speaker 1: because we always look over the edge and we're like, damn,
Speaker 1: there's a bunch of boats out there.
Speaker 2: And we're entering the old beach, no literally, and.
Speaker 1: We always talk about how we wish we could runt
Speaker 1: to boat to go like out on the water or
Speaker 1: be in a really secluded area. The beach isn't that busy.
Speaker 1: It's a pretty secluded beach anyways, but that area is
Speaker 1: so secluded because there's like two houses that have beach
Speaker 1: space whatever. We go down there one day and we're like,
Speaker 1: this is awesome. We need to come back here tomorrow
Speaker 1: because we were high as fucking we wanted to eat
Speaker 1: really bad, and we didn't want to have to do
Speaker 1: a trek back before that's pointless. Next day we go
Speaker 1: down there and we're all alone, so I'm just like, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna just get button naked, like no one is here.
Speaker 1: We're fully like covered by rocks, and I'm just like, oh, okay,
Speaker 1: so we're like laying there topless. And then I just
Speaker 1: was like, I have.
Speaker 2: Not been naked a butter bronzin, Like, what's his face
Speaker 2: in that sky? Is it your butter your bronze?
Speaker 1: And oh, it's my bronzin, it's my bronzin, My my
Speaker 1: extremely pale bronzin is shining in the sun right now,
Speaker 1: and whatever. It's like, not great. I need to take
Speaker 1: off my whole bathing suit. But it was a tie one,
Speaker 1: so I just like opened it up. And then I
Speaker 1: was like, oh if somebody, if I see somebody in
Speaker 1: the corner of my eye coming, I'll just like tie
Speaker 1: it back up. Whatever I am not somebody who's like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, someone's gonna see me naked. I literally
Speaker 1: don't care. Also, that is actually a big issue that
Speaker 1: I need to take care of because I'll tell the
Speaker 1: other part of the story, but this is a big
Speaker 1: issue I have, and I do it when I feel
Speaker 1: like I'm supposed to be in danger. I'm really stubborn,
Speaker 1: so if somebody is giving me a dangerous vibe, I
Speaker 1: won't immediately walk away from the situation because I am
Speaker 1: so stubborn that I'm like, oh, you think you're gonna
Speaker 1: fucking scare me a bitch, try and stab me. I
Speaker 1: don't give a fuck, Like I'm gonna stand here, I
Speaker 1: don't care. Yeah, And that's basically what I did in
Speaker 1: this situation. We're laying there and this man starts coming
Speaker 1: down the steps and I didn't notice him until he
Speaker 1: got close, and he just like obviously I had been
Speaker 1: getting like we got pervy stairs like the whole week
Speaker 1: because we're just two girls with their fucking hotel.
Speaker 2: I was like walking around just looking.
Speaker 1: At I know, and Drew kept coming by in different
Speaker 1: disguises and we were like, you literally don't have to
Speaker 1: do that. You could just look and he was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm just like I'm not Drew exactly, but he the
Speaker 1: way it was as we were laying on these rocks
Speaker 1: and then there was a rock right in front of us,
Speaker 1: and he literally he this man comes up and stands
Speaker 1: there and is like looking out at the water, but
Speaker 1: then like like looking up and I was just like,
Speaker 1: oh my god. So I like slowly start getting dressed
Speaker 1: because I was doing the thing where I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: you think you're gonna scare me, like you think I
Speaker 1: give a fuck if you see me naked, Like I
Speaker 1: don't give a fuck. And then but that didn't work
Speaker 1: out for me because he took it as like okay.
Speaker 1: So then he just starts glaring down at me, and
Speaker 1: then I was like okay, so I start slowly putting
Speaker 1: all my stuff back on. I don't think anything of it.
Speaker 1: And then I literally said to Oriyan, also, it's old.
Speaker 1: He had to have been like forty three or something,
Speaker 1: so yeah, it was.
Speaker 2: If it was like a seven year old would be like,
Speaker 2: that is my thing.
Speaker 1: That is literally my thing. Because also at the restaurant
Speaker 1: on this beach, there's an old man who has to
Speaker 1: be like sixty eight who works there, and without without
Speaker 1: a doubt, every time we ate there, he would be
Speaker 1: taking my order me when I'm like, I'm not going.
Speaker 2: To be allowed to stup, so no, no, I just
Speaker 2: noticed that mine's really loud to.
Speaker 1: But without a doubt, every single time we ordered at
Speaker 1: that restaurant, we would be coming from the beach, so
Speaker 1: I would just have a bikini top on and then
Speaker 1: like pants or something show. Yeah, he literally would be
Speaker 1: like like like and he like literally like he would
Speaker 1: be taking my order, were.
Speaker 2: Like, I don't know if you can see.
Speaker 1: And he's a little shorter than me somehow, so he
Speaker 1: would literally be like like his head was like like
Speaker 1: being dragged down by my boobs.
Speaker 2: But it's a short guys summer. The short guys are
Speaker 2: winning this year.
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, the fuck it is not. I've never
Speaker 1: had sex with someone taller than me. But that's besides
Speaker 1: the point. Actually, one.
Speaker 2: Literally every single person, I.
Speaker 1: Feel like they're all short. They all like short vibes.
Speaker 1: They all got that short vibe.
Speaker 2: But we'll finish history in another episode. So no, I
Speaker 2: saw a video where someone's like this is me when
Speaker 2: they say they'll show a picture like and they never
Speaker 2: put it up on the screen. But other one where
Speaker 2: it's like we'll talk about in another episode and we
Speaker 2: literally never do.
Speaker 1: Well, we will insert the Paparazzi one here in the
Speaker 1: middle of this story. We'll insert the.
Speaker 2: Paparazzi is the Paparazzi video. That's the Paparazzi video We've
Speaker 2: been talking about for months you and we just never
Speaker 2: we forgot to put it in there. But people in
Speaker 2: the comments were like, I won that video, So bad.
Speaker 2: So there it is, and.
Speaker 1: We'll finish the story in the next episode. Yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: but okay, so whatever. I slowly get dressed and then
Speaker 1: I'm like me and O'Ryan were already planning on moving
Speaker 1: because for some reason, there was hell of flies in
Speaker 1: that area anyway, and we kept like, yeah, it's just
Speaker 1: because my stinky cooter ron said was out. So we
Speaker 1: were like, let's just go to the actual beach because
Speaker 1: also this man is here now. So we get up,
Speaker 1: but we start going up the steps and he disappears
Speaker 1: down into the rocks and there's a bunch of boats
Speaker 1: docked in the area, which I only assume there's this
Speaker 1: boat that goes around and you can get taken to
Speaker 1: your boat, like whatever. So this man disappears down the rocks,
Speaker 1: and as we're going up, I like look around because
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, he didn't exist. We just made that up.
Speaker 1: But I see him swimming towards a boat and he's
Speaker 1: like me and Orian stopped to Sarah because we were like, wait,
Speaker 1: what the fuck is happening? Is that his boat? And
Speaker 1: then I was making the juttall round. I was like, damn,
Speaker 1: I'll let him se me naked some more if I
Speaker 1: go get on that boat, Like I get to get
Speaker 1: on the boat, I'll let him look at me naked
Speaker 1: all day.
Speaker 2: David hasselhoff and he was swinging David Hasselhoffen's sponge chasing.
Speaker 1: So he gets on his boat and when he's on
Speaker 1: his boat, he sees us staring at him, and he
Speaker 1: looks at me. I never interact with perverts, and I
Speaker 1: like me and o'rian had just been joking that we
Speaker 1: I would let him see me naked if I got
Speaker 1: on the boat, and so I like look at him,
Speaker 1: and I like waved. I don't know why, so I
Speaker 1: waved at him, and me and Ryan just start laughing
Speaker 1: and we go up.
Speaker 2: I can't so crazy.
Speaker 1: You're walking down this road and we hear like an
Speaker 1: engine revving up, so we think a car is coming,
Speaker 1: and we kind of stepped to the side and we
Speaker 1: look out into the water and then we start hearing
Speaker 1: really loud, like Europeans play this kind of English music
Speaker 1: that it's what they think Americans listen to. It's like
Speaker 1: weird electronic ed m ish Ai voice where it's like,
Speaker 1: well I get apart. It's nag like like like don't
Speaker 1: like random. We heard that kind of music and an
Speaker 1: engine revving, and I look over.
Speaker 2: Modern day sirens.
Speaker 1: He is fully following us down to Hell. First of all,
Speaker 1: I don't even know we're walking. I didn't even know
Speaker 1: you could cruise control a boat like this, Like I
Speaker 1: didn't know he could go at our pace. So I
Speaker 1: look over and we start crying, Oh my fuck, god,
Speaker 1: he's follow us. Should have waits, Oh my god. And
Speaker 1: I'm freaking out. And we're walking down and there's like
Speaker 1: two houses and I was like a run. When we
Speaker 1: get to that fucking thing, hide hide, like we need
Speaker 1: to hide from and he's following us. We hide, and
Speaker 1: we stay there for like two minutes, and we are
Speaker 1: cracking up. We like pull out our towels and like
Speaker 1: cover our faces and our bodies because we're like, maybe
Speaker 1: he'll just like think we like went into this house.
Speaker 1: And then we keep walking and he literally I don't
Speaker 1: know how he knew when we were walking, so he
Speaker 1: starts speeding up again. Bitch, he kept following us at
Speaker 1: over was like yeah, bitch, you were talking all that
Speaker 1: ship hey, and he's gonna stab and kill us. And
Speaker 1: then me and I were like, okay, wait, wait, maybe
Speaker 1: there's a chance he's nice though, like, maybe there's a
Speaker 1: chance he's like just like a lookie perpon. We were like,
Speaker 1: we were like, maybe he's because also, this was like
Speaker 1: the day after we hung out in Lisbon and for
Speaker 1: the first time ever we met lesbian a straight Yeah,
Speaker 1: we will come on like there's a yes, And I said,
Speaker 1: we got close. Where do you think we got close?
Speaker 2: Is that that's Greta Thunberg.
Speaker 1: Huh, that's where she's from. Lesbian Yeah, okay, where are
Speaker 1: you saying she's a lesbian or she's from lesbian?
Speaker 2: No, no, no, there's like that picture of her saying lesbian
Speaker 2: or something. Yeah, I'm coming to lesbian.
Speaker 1: But whatever. The night before we had hung out in
Speaker 1: Lisbon and we met for the first time ever the
Speaker 1: least like not the first time ever, but the least
Speaker 1: threatening straight man on the planet. And it was such
Speaker 1: an enjoyment. Right here, Oh you're what.
Speaker 2: I'm right here?
Speaker 1: What does that mean though?
Speaker 2: At least threatening straight man on the planet. Like I
Speaker 2: like bond bonds and bronze ands and shit, but like
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna.
Speaker 1: Bon bonds or booths.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I like bond bonds and bronzes and buds but like,
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna like be scary to them and Ship,
Speaker 2: yeah without.
Speaker 1: Have you ever touched them in general?
Speaker 2: Yeah, say like sandbags and ship.
Speaker 1: I wrote this story up because too long anyway. So
Speaker 1: we're like, for some reason, we're also just kind of
Speaker 1: hungover and like being stupid. We're like maybe like he's like, chill,
Speaker 1: maybe it's not even that big of a deal because
Speaker 1: we want to get on about that fucking bad, I guess.
Speaker 1: And then we keep walking and so we walk down
Speaker 1: and there's a dock and then this restaurant. He stops
Speaker 1: at the dock and I was like, oh, Ryan, speak
Speaker 1: the fuck up, because he's gonna get out and talk
Speaker 1: to us. And Oaran was like, wait, I kind of
Speaker 1: we need to interact with him if he comes to
Speaker 1: talk to us. And I was like, okay, true, but
Speaker 1: he doesn't come to talk to us. So we keep walking. Bitch,
Speaker 1: tell me why. He picked two other men and kept
Speaker 1: following us down to the beach and me and around
Speaker 1: were like, oh my god, we're literally fucking like there's
Speaker 1: too many of them, like we're gonna get killed, We're
Speaker 1: gonna get kidnapped, freaking out all for us to get
Speaker 1: to the beach and then there's a point where the
Speaker 1: boats can't go because it's people swimming in the water,
Speaker 1: and he turned around and then I was like.
Speaker 2: Come back, Oh my god.
Speaker 1: Like my munch, come back, like you were willing to
Speaker 1: like get out and like swim over to talk to me, Like,
Speaker 1: oh my fucking god, like you're literally not a real man.
Speaker 1: And that was the whole story of me interacting with
Speaker 1: a pervert and then actually being fearful for like twenty
Speaker 1: minutes because I genuinely thought I was gonna get me
Speaker 1: and my friend killed because I waved. And that's it.
Speaker 1: But it's good to know that all it takes is
Speaker 1: somebody seeing me but naked nasty for like three seconds
Speaker 1: for them to literally swim to their boat and start
Speaker 1: chasing me. Which actually, and now that I've said that
Speaker 1: whole sentence, I don't know. That's a good thing to know.
Speaker 1: That's like sadly kind of common.
Speaker 2: Um, well, I don't remember what I was gonna say
Speaker 2: to you that I told Josh and jo saw it
Speaker 2: when you left to go to that dinner. Yeah, fuck,
Speaker 2: what was it? Boy? I went to Missouri. That was lit.
Speaker 2: It was a good vibe. I got to hang out
Speaker 2: with my family. I got the riote horses again, and
Speaker 2: yeah it was cool. What the fuck happened? What was it? Oh?
Speaker 2: I know what it is? Okay, So you know how
Speaker 2: like it's a running joke that like I don't think
Speaker 2: I'm related to my parents, Like something fishy is going on,
Speaker 2: like either my mom like had a baby with another
Speaker 2: man and my dad was okay with it, or my
Speaker 2: dad isn't my real dad, or my mom we got
Speaker 2: switched in the hospital, like whatever the case is. Like
Speaker 2: I looked like my mom, Like I saw a picture
Speaker 2: of me and I looked like my mom. So I'm
Speaker 2: my mom's kid. But the more I look, I don't
Speaker 2: look anything like my father, which is very curious. And
Speaker 2: then so we uh got uh DNA test kids and
Speaker 2: tell me why my mom and dad were like shaking
Speaker 2: in their fucking boots when we got these DNA test kids,
Speaker 2: Like they were like Kirie, they were like flashing their
Speaker 2: eyes and all this like weird shit. And like my
Speaker 2: mom brought it up at the dinner table like four
Speaker 2: hours later, and we didn't even like freaking bring it up,
Speaker 2: like we forgot about it. And there's some sush shit
Speaker 2: going on like, so, yeah, I'm about to find out
Speaker 2: that my father is not my father, but he knew
Speaker 2: the whole time and raised me anyways. I mean at
Speaker 2: the end of the day, like he's my dad, like
Speaker 2: he raised me, Like that's my father.
Speaker 1: But it's definitely in a cause of effect, and you'll
Speaker 1: ever look at him the same.
Speaker 2: Exactly, exactly, exactly exactly. But no, I told me and
Speaker 2: Maddel made a pact like if we find out he's
Speaker 2: not my dad, we're not gonna say anything. We're just
Speaker 2: gonna be like, yeah, you're our dad, like, but we're
Speaker 2: gonna know, so you're gonna lie. Yeah, exactly. Wow. But
Speaker 2: the craziest part is so my dead brother Sam he
Speaker 2: did twenty three and me, Yeah he died and yeah,
Speaker 2: oh my fucking god. Bro, he died like three years ago. Lost,
Speaker 2: he died three years ago, Bro, But no, he did
Speaker 2: a twenty three in me test and Madeline did a
Speaker 2: three AM MEM tests and if you're related, like your
Speaker 2: DNA code if it's similar, and it comes back and
Speaker 2: it's like, oh, by the way, y'all are like brother
Speaker 2: and sister or y'all are related. Theirs didn't show up
Speaker 2: as related to one another, which is very fucking curious
Speaker 2: because that's how all starts on all those weird documentaries
Speaker 2: about like all the people like being like, oh wait,
Speaker 2: I have like three hundred and eighty bros.
Speaker 1: Almost was like, do you think because he's like not
Speaker 1: here anymore, they just like they'll connect it. But that's
Speaker 1: not how that works. It's literally an sister like it's
Speaker 1: supposed to be like.
Speaker 2: Exactly, So it's very curious. So I'm like and same
Speaker 2: as my dad's child. So I don't know. Mom, I
Speaker 2: know you're listening to this and you're writhing and you're
Speaker 2: pissed and you're scared as boots.
Speaker 1: But you're scared because your secret's about to come out.
Speaker 1: Yeah exactly, that's the real.
Speaker 2: You, exactly. But like this is a tea and I'm
Speaker 2: gonna update the girls as it goes.
Speaker 1: You did something that reminded me of like an ick
Speaker 1: just now or it was last night, Oh wait, last
Speaker 1: night something happened and I was like, oh, watching somebody
Speaker 1: play on Oculus would be such a nick and I
Speaker 1: would never never be.
Speaker 2: Able to like lave someone.
Speaker 1: Yea, literally, I would like not be able to date
Speaker 1: somebody if I saw them play with an Oculus like
Speaker 1: it's too much, and then like even if the way
Speaker 1: I look playing an Oculus, I'm like, it's all I.
Speaker 2: Think about when I did you get a video of
Speaker 2: you playing?
Speaker 1: No Batavia did? So we shouldn't we should we should
Speaker 1: insert it if we remember.
Speaker 2: Because that ship. Yeah, I mean, it's fun as fuck,
Speaker 2: but also it's weird, like it's just weird shit. But
Speaker 2: do you have any other turnoffs?
Speaker 1: Yeah? So if you can't drive, you need to get
Speaker 1: a life, like that is actually disgusting, Like if you
Speaker 1: can't drive, and if you drive slow, if you can't
Speaker 1: drive and you drive really slow and cautious, that shit
Speaker 1: actually pisses me off, Like I'm not kidding, Like why
Speaker 1: are you actually doing thirty five miles an hour in
Speaker 1: a thirty five agis? No?
Speaker 2: Why not.
Speaker 1: Blanny line by line any trip or fall, any trip
Speaker 1: or fall, like even like but especially like a trip
Speaker 1: where like the trip doesn't actually happen and oh, oh
Speaker 1: my god, like that, Yeah, that is too much. I
Speaker 1: know exactly what you mean, almost losing your balance and
Speaker 1: be like, oh oh my god, oh I almost fell.
Speaker 1: Really you shouldn't.
Speaker 2: Say that, don't You should have just fallen because I
Speaker 2: would have felt bad cramped.
Speaker 1: Feet, so you get a little bit of a limp
Speaker 1: that's disgusting, Like if you're like if you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: my feet are cramping, like I can't, like.
Speaker 2: I bo do you know that's feet or cramping regularly?
Speaker 1: I know people with my.
Speaker 2: Fucking foot when I actually that brings.
Speaker 1: I've never had a cramped foot too, so I'm like, one,
Speaker 1: you're making it up too, dude. You know, are you
Speaker 1: like barely able to stand right now?
Speaker 2: When I was like nine, there was a doorknob right
Speaker 2: next to my bed, and I used to like put
Speaker 2: my butt on the doorknob and just like use it
Speaker 2: as a butt plug and just like hang out up there. No,
Speaker 2: you used to wrap my foot.
Speaker 1: Why did you even say that?
Speaker 2: I don't know, because I used to wrap my foot
Speaker 2: around the door knob and cramp my foot on purpose
Speaker 2: because I love the way foot cramps feel. And I
Speaker 2: still every once in a while will like arch my
Speaker 2: foot like that like a ballerina and crap, I bet
Speaker 2: if you do it like that. I'm very hydrated and
Speaker 2: I've been drinking a lot of electrolytes, so it doesn't
Speaker 2: happen as often. But when I was like younger and
Speaker 2: didn't drink water and only drank coke and did coke
Speaker 2: when I was like thirteen.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean you started when you were ten, so
Speaker 1: it's hard to like sucked it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is a fake nose. It melted through my
Speaker 2: uh what is it septum? Yeah, yeah, it was really rough.
Speaker 1: But yeah, have you ever had your toes sucked? No?
Speaker 2: Uh? Yeah, yeah yeah, oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, because it seems like you're forgetting
Speaker 1: that ice all the time. And then I was like,
Speaker 1: what you don't want the people to know that, like
Speaker 1: I put your toes in my mouth?
Speaker 2: Oh dude, Also like you no, no too much my mom. Mom,
Speaker 2: if you're listening, like literally, turn this off now. But
Speaker 2: when they when it was like one time and my
Speaker 2: big toe is being sucked, and like, oh god, this
Speaker 2: is so embarrassing. No, I can't even tell it. I
Speaker 2: can't even talk about it. I can't even talk.
Speaker 1: I've had my toes in mouth, in mouths like plenty
Speaker 1: of times. People love my feet. What can I say?
Speaker 1: I have a high writing on wiki feet.
Speaker 2: I got it.
Speaker 1: I don't even have like a good photo of my
Speaker 1: feet out. That's the crazy thing is if I put
Speaker 1: a good photo of my feet on the internet, it
Speaker 1: would be a wrap. It would be really bad for
Speaker 1: a lot of people. It would break homes, it would
Speaker 1: destroy people, like it would literally make the people who
Speaker 1: fuck with feet like actually viscerally upset that they can't
Speaker 1: suck my toes.
Speaker 2: I got a two point three nine.
Speaker 1: Now, well that's because I begged, you begged for people
Speaker 1: to go and give you good reviews.
Speaker 2: But what people didn't know about me is I have
Speaker 2: a size twenty point five foot in US and I'm
Speaker 2: from Estonia, but mine are If anyone is like my age,
Speaker 2: like that's weird, Like you should be three times my
Speaker 2: age four and a half.
Speaker 1: And like I said, that's without a good picture of
Speaker 1: my feet. Like, no one's seeing like a good picture
Speaker 1: of my feet. See, but you said in anyone our age.
Speaker 2: My turn off is if you're my age, you have
Speaker 2: to be at least twice my age. And then like
Speaker 2: if you have like long hair, like big berthing hips
Speaker 2: like piercings, and you wear makeup and like those things
Speaker 2: that are on people's chests sometimes like and if you
Speaker 2: have a vagina.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh so you just like want to like wait, wait, wait,
Speaker 1: we're talking about turnoff.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a big turnoff of my Wait, but.
Speaker 1: I thought you were straight, so like boom should be
Speaker 1: like a thing for.
Speaker 2: You, and then if you like take care of yourself.
Speaker 1: Oh that's gross. I'm just confused because it sounds like
Speaker 1: I thought, for a second you were talking about like
Speaker 1: turn offs, like things you want.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, you don't want any of that. It's
Speaker 2: just those things on the chest. They're getting away and
Speaker 2: they're scary.
Speaker 1: I just think men are really gross. That's kind of it.
Speaker 2: That's oh my new thing, guys.
Speaker 1: I have the idea of a man propping up his
Speaker 1: phone to dance in front of it.
Speaker 2: Actually, just like I saw you, I saw you.
Speaker 1: I just imagine that, like when girls are like playing
Speaker 1: music from their phone and they're together, like dancing in
Speaker 1: a room. I'm like, do.
Speaker 2: You mean that one?
Speaker 1: Boo boo boo boo boo boo. I can't really do
Speaker 1: that one.
Speaker 2: I thought, No, that is really cringey. My new thing recently, I've.
Speaker 1: Never liked a thirst trap from a man.
Speaker 2: Okay, keep on, neither of I the fuck.
Speaker 1: The fuck like, couldn't be me.
Speaker 2: My new thing is me having blood clots. I'm convinced
Speaker 2: I'm gonna have like a pulmonary embolism.
Speaker 1: For somebody who goes to the doctor a lot. It
Speaker 1: seems like you don't go to the doctor. And now
Speaker 1: I'm starting to get convinced that you use that one
Speaker 1: app to meet all your friends and like go hang
Speaker 1: out with friends instead of go to the doctor.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I don't grinder. Grinder is like ZocDoc, So
Speaker 2: like when you say it's like ZocDoc, but.
Speaker 1: I don't think we have a ZocDoc ad So we're
Speaker 1: gonna stop saying it, even though I genuinely do use it.
Speaker 2: But ok yeah, it's like Grinder, but uh or Grinder
Speaker 2: is like ZocDoc with pastors and doctors. Oh okay, so
Speaker 2: when I use it.
Speaker 1: I don't know you were religious like that though.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've like been I've been dabbling recently, but my
Speaker 2: new thing is blood clots.
Speaker 1: And what you're gonna say it was completely different going
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, weddings are freaking me out again
Speaker 1: because why is your dad passing you down the aisle
Speaker 1: like a blunt, Like you're literally getting past like blunt
Speaker 1: to another man. Like it's really weird. It's really weird too, because,
Speaker 1: like I was watching a video, I was like, the
Speaker 1: connotations of this are odd because it's like your dad
Speaker 1: needs to hand you off to another man, which insinuates
Speaker 1: that your dad owned you and like had you as
Speaker 1: his and then is giving you to another man, which
Speaker 1: makes me so uncomfortable because it's like, wait, are you
Speaker 1: fucking your dad? I need to know? But that's it.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, No, it's just like a cute thing.
Speaker 1: I don't think it's cute. I think it's really fucking weird.
Speaker 2: I'm my mom passed me down the aisle girls.
Speaker 1: Because I'm having sex with my mom and your mom. Actually,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have granma.
Speaker 2: How the hell is that?
Speaker 1: Well, we're gonna put it on like you know, the
Speaker 1: the robot waiters that like restaurants. We're gonna put the
Speaker 1: urn on.
Speaker 2: There, and I'm gonna hold the feature's cart when they
Speaker 2: roll the TV in when.
Speaker 1: They roll it out the projector it's like my mom
Speaker 1: on there.
Speaker 2: Someone said when the teachers used to roll the carts in,
Speaker 2: they used to be like hungover, and that's why like
Speaker 2: they would bring the carts in.
Speaker 1: That makes sense, bitch, I would have never taught those
Speaker 1: kids because all of our kids, I'd be hung over
Speaker 1: all the time because I have a really severe alcohol
Speaker 1: and weed addiction right now, keep going.
Speaker 2: But my new thing is blood clots. I'm convinced that
Speaker 2: I have blood clots in my body all the time,
Speaker 2: and it's all gonna it's gonna be clipped a million
Speaker 2: billion times when like when I do die of a
Speaker 2: blood clot. And I got the Johnson and Johnson vaccine
Speaker 2: as a joke.
Speaker 1: You know, if you have a blood clot before it's bad.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know. I think like it
Speaker 2: it gets bad and then it gets worse. So when
Speaker 2: it gets bad, that's when you know you know Yeah,
Speaker 2: So like this Jude, when you know you know you
Speaker 2: know better? But this yeah, that's just something that's the
Speaker 2: song that yeah, it's my own song.
Speaker 1: Then okay, yeah, And you just thought to like outshine
Speaker 1: me and like throwing your own that's.
Speaker 2: Serve the audios. Who ate better?
Speaker 1: Me? Who ate better?
Speaker 2: Guys have been like really addicted to Pokemon Go and
Speaker 2: like a fucked up way, like a two hours every
Speaker 2: single day type shit. And I'm gonna do a rate
Speaker 2: in the middle.
Speaker 1: Of Okay, while you do a raid. I'm gonna say
Speaker 1: this thought I had, so I think there's like this
Speaker 1: idea that when women get older, there there's more leeway
Speaker 1: for them to be mean. And as a younger woman,
Speaker 1: there's this idea that you should be gentle, nice and
Speaker 1: patient and super forthcoming and submissive, especially around men obviously,
Speaker 1: and you shouldn't be loud and whatever whatever, but it
Speaker 1: is always except.
Speaker 2: Yeah, all that is like no, like you you agree
Speaker 2: with her? You yeah, like be silent and shit, women should.
Speaker 1: Be here, I can you go back to playing fucking
Speaker 1: Pokemon go, Yeah, exactly. But there's this idea that when
Speaker 1: ladies get old, like the mean old old lady like archetype,
Speaker 1: it's like, oh, like she's like mean and annoying and
Speaker 1: like really naggy and blah blah blah, and like, as
Speaker 1: women get older, there's almost more leeway and acceptance and
Speaker 1: almost an assumption that with age you will get obnoxious
Speaker 1: and annoying. And this only was something I was thinking
Speaker 1: about because of the fucking age filter and all the
Speaker 1: jokes about like, oh, when I'm older and I just
Speaker 1: start yelling at people because I can, which I'm sure
Speaker 1: like most people like everybody thinks like, well, as you
Speaker 1: get older, you get to do that. But my hot take,
Speaker 1: which isn't that hot of a take, is I think
Speaker 1: it's more acceptable for women as they age out to
Speaker 1: be annoying. Like I'm saying that with quotes if you're
Speaker 1: not watching annoying or angry or whatever, because you are
Speaker 1: less sexualized and less objectified the older you get, So
Speaker 1: there's no need for you to be as submissive or
Speaker 1: as like tranquil blah blah blah blah, and like as
Speaker 1: nice and all those things because you were less desired
Speaker 1: by the public. So nobody's gonna get on your ass
Speaker 1: for being like all those things. Yeah, and as a
Speaker 1: younger woman, you're expected to be all those things because
Speaker 1: you need to upkeep a sexual appeal and a desire
Speaker 1: to yourself. And that's just something I thought about and
Speaker 1: it's not.
Speaker 2: Necessarily fucking tea.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And now we're gonna sit here while Drew well,
Speaker 1: it will just time lapse.
Speaker 2: This sorry, is this is like really important actually to me?
Speaker 1: Okay, look, I ton't ask if it's important to you.
Speaker 1: That means it means nothing to me.
Speaker 2: How about that I'm used to this behavior. I left
Speaker 2: my phone at home yesterday, y'all all day long, and
Speaker 2: I like, survived and it was fucking lit.
Speaker 1: I could survive too.
Speaker 2: It's easy, dude, It's not a competition.
Speaker 1: Say, like, if you think you could survive, you would
Speaker 1: literally feel like you were watching survivor watching me survive.
Speaker 2: I did to win. I win. I got a Reggie Drago.
Speaker 1: And it's brave for me to make fun of you
Speaker 1: for being obsessed with Pokemon Go as if I haven't
Speaker 1: been on a two year streak of being obsessed.
Speaker 2: With Fortnite D and it's already been two years.
Speaker 1: Yeah, holy, and I don't foresee it ending. What if
Speaker 1: I'm like thirty eight and I'm still playing Fortnite.
Speaker 2: That would be fair.
Speaker 1: I'm probably gouldn't neglect the fuck out of my kids,
Speaker 1: Like I definitely shouldn't have kids.
Speaker 2: No, that's my take too.
Speaker 1: But actually, like, I genuinely don't think I'm supposed to
Speaker 1: have kids. The more I think about it, I think
Speaker 1: you should have kids if it is a deep, deep desire.
Speaker 1: And when I do have kids, if this is still
Speaker 1: up for some god forsaken reason and they hear it
Speaker 1: or somebody who remembers me saying this is like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, that bitch is pregnant. They're gonna really freak
Speaker 1: out and be scared, and maybe I will change my mind.
Speaker 1: But I am so flip flop on the idea of
Speaker 1: having a kid that I just don't think I should
Speaker 1: have a kid. Does that make sense? Like yeah, I
Speaker 1: think people by our age know whether they want kids
Speaker 1: or not. But we are very young, so maybe that'll change,
Speaker 1: But like, I just don't want a fucking kid, like
Speaker 1: my parents had kids by this age.
Speaker 2: Yeah, which is so fucking weird, disgusting, Like I cannot imagine.
Speaker 2: I cannot imagine having a child right now, like really
Speaker 2: genuinely cannot imagine it. It like goes straight over my head.
Speaker 2: And like beyond that, like there are moments like especially
Speaker 2: after hanging out with my niece like uh, Madeline, like
Speaker 2: Luna like that, I'm like, oh, like I can see
Speaker 2: myself having children one day, Like I don't know, Like
Speaker 2: I don't, I really don't know. If it's in my car,
Speaker 2: it's like.
Speaker 1: Same, That's how I kneel when I see other people
Speaker 1: my age with kids. It is sweet and wholesome and heartwarming.
Speaker 1: But then when I imagine myself with a kid. I
Speaker 1: genuinely don't want that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't like.
Speaker 1: Thinking about being thirty five and not being able to
Speaker 1: pick up and leave my house without taking this thing
Speaker 1: with me. I'm like, damn, that is actually so inconvenient.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I'm guessed like it just clicks one day,
Speaker 2: like and maybe it's like fucking love where like you
Speaker 2: have to like actually try to be in a relationship
Speaker 2: and like it's it's chemical to a certain extent.
Speaker 1: I've definitely been in relationships or like in situations where
Speaker 1: there were moments wars like now I understand Now, I
Speaker 1: understand why someone would have a kid with somebody because
Speaker 1: I have this like primal human urge to have a child.
Speaker 1: But then that usually wears off and I'm like whoa.
Speaker 1: And I think that's probably what most parents did, is
Speaker 1: within that time span of having that primal urge, because
Speaker 1: they didn't have TikTok and all these other things to
Speaker 1: look at, they were like, fuck it, we should just
Speaker 1: have a baby because I really want to have a
Speaker 1: baby with And then that phase of like desire and
Speaker 1: whatever fades off and then you're left with a fucking baby.
Speaker 2: That's like what a lot of people like postpartum or
Speaker 2: like just in general, like a lot of people like
Speaker 2: experience postpartum after birth, and it's because of that. It's like,
Speaker 2: holy shit, like I actually have I used to party
Speaker 2: and I used to have fun, and I used to
Speaker 2: be able to do whatever the fuck I want and
Speaker 2: blah blah blah blah blah, and now I have to
Speaker 2: like give all that up overnight essentially, Like it's it's crazy.
Speaker 2: I fully understand postpartum in it like really makes me sad.
Speaker 1: But you could just give it away.
Speaker 2: Yeah, for real, there's like systems for it for real.
Speaker 1: If you don't want it, you can just fucking get
Speaker 1: rid of it. I guess you can sell it to
Speaker 1: wasteland and use that check to go by exactly.
Speaker 2: Do you remember the wayfair child trafficking? That was crazy?
Speaker 1: That was actually that was the first sign that like
Speaker 1: left leaning people are also susceptible to conspiracy theory. That
Speaker 1: makes sense. It's like if you make the conspiracy, if
Speaker 1: you like make it right, a conspiracy theory can hit anybody.
Speaker 2: Because there was a moment where I was like, holy shit,
Speaker 2: like that is weird, Like why are they selling a
Speaker 2: twenty five thousand dollars dresser. But come on, it's all
Speaker 2: come on.
Speaker 1: I don't think Wayfair is real. I think it's it's
Speaker 1: like a like who would buy a twenty five thousand
Speaker 1: dollars dresser? Like I think it's like on eBay, like
Speaker 1: I could post something for a crazy amount of money
Speaker 1: and just see who buys like that kind of thing.
Speaker 2: Remember when I put my grandma on eBay?
Speaker 1: Yeah, now you don't have a fucking eBay accompany. You
Speaker 1: tried to sell a human.
Speaker 2: It's crazy. I like got like ip banned or some
Speaker 2: shit from eBay because I tried to sell my grandma
Speaker 2: on there for a video and the bid caught up
Speaker 2: to like what was it like thirty six thousand dollars
Speaker 2: or something like that to buy my grandma, And then
Speaker 2: I got banned from.
Speaker 1: Either a good price? Yeah right, yeah thirty six.
Speaker 2: That's life changing money.
Speaker 1: Yeah hell but I guess Wait, it doesn't go to
Speaker 1: the person who's being sold, So yeah, I guess your grandma.
Speaker 1: But if your grandma's going to good hands, you know.
Speaker 2: Having good time, yeah, like she'll be chill, like they'll
Speaker 2: take care of her.
Speaker 1: Just start a new chapter and it might be a
Speaker 1: blessing to that stage of my life get.
Speaker 2: To like exactly okay, Well, I have a list of
Speaker 2: things that like we're doing now that like I feel like,
Speaker 2: are going to be really really barbaric in the future.
Speaker 2: And like I was trying to be funny, but I
Speaker 2: literally couldn't think of anything funny. So if you think
Speaker 2: of anything actually funny, let me know.
Speaker 1: But these are like my barbaric thing is having my
Speaker 1: wing bot under my pillow and abusing.
Speaker 2: Oh hell no. Literally I walked in there because then
Speaker 2: you was like I lost.
Speaker 1: It and I was.
Speaker 2: Helping her look for it, and I flipped over a
Speaker 2: couple of pillows and her wing bot vibrator was literally
Speaker 2: just sitting on the bed like under her pillows.
Speaker 1: It was like, what is the point of living my
Speaker 1: day if I don't get to celebrate life at the.
Speaker 2: End of it? Exactly create life?
Speaker 1: And some may say that is an addiction, So masic
Speaker 1: I'm a dreamer. Barbaric is me thinking that it's cute
Speaker 1: that I wake up every morning and go have a
Speaker 1: cigarette with my coffee.
Speaker 2: Well, that's funny that you said that, because I have
Speaker 2: pocket pussy written down as barbaric is barbarok at that
Speaker 2: look at it in the vagina, like, it is.
Speaker 1: Much more barbaric than a wing. A wingbat is like
Speaker 1: a miscellaneous shape, like a vibrator is a miscellaneous shape
Speaker 1: whatever for the most part. But a pocket pussy, bitch,
Speaker 1: can you get a grip on reality?
Speaker 2: Like that is you can get a grip on my
Speaker 2: penis with this vagina? Pocket pussy?
Speaker 1: You do not get the vagina ones?
Speaker 2: Uh yeah, I do that the heck what? And then
Speaker 2: I have a Funerals are barbaric, barbarians, I actually dor
Speaker 2: they're so fucking expensive, they're big fucking scams and ruses.
Speaker 2: And then we embalm these bodies with like really really
Speaker 2: toxic chemicals and then bury them in the ground so
Speaker 2: they just melt into our waist like our runoff water.
Speaker 2: And then we just end up drinking dead body juices,
Speaker 2: like literally just burn the body and move on, or
Speaker 2: bury the body and plant a tree on top of it.
Speaker 1: There's a really good episode of Midnight Gospel that talks
Speaker 1: about how funeral culture started. And it was like during
Speaker 1: wars that people's family members would go out to war
Speaker 1: and die during war. Obviously all these families would be
Speaker 1: devastated the last time they saw their loved one was
Speaker 1: who knows when they really want to be able to
Speaker 1: see them at least one last time. Also, it was
Speaker 1: during the era of like you don't have videos super
Speaker 1: accessible videos and pictures of them. Obviously, these families were devastated.
Speaker 1: They wanted to see the body. And then these two
Speaker 1: guys came up with the idea of embombing bodies and
Speaker 1: traveling them back to the families and which became a
Speaker 1: huge industry. And then that became that's where the idea
Speaker 1: that dead bodies were super radioactive and like harmful and
Speaker 1: toxic to be around. It stems from that because people
Speaker 1: wanted you to immediately like start up the funeral service
Speaker 1: and get a body embombed. When in the olden days,
Speaker 1: what people used to do is when someone would pass
Speaker 1: like from fucking scarlet fever and illness or something in
Speaker 1: their bed, they would usually just like keep the body
Speaker 1: there for like a day or like however long and
Speaker 1: like let the family kind of sit with the body
Speaker 1: and just be like wow, like and like mourn and
Speaker 1: within that time period, and then you would have the
Speaker 1: body transported to be bare.
Speaker 2: So it was literally just like morticians being like no,
Speaker 2: you have to give it to me now so you
Speaker 2: can pay me.
Speaker 1: Lay Like yeah, no, it's literally like oh but we
Speaker 1: want like we want to spruce it up for you.
Speaker 1: And I'm sure a lot of people do like enjoy
Speaker 1: the idea of a funeral, But yeah, why am I here?
Speaker 1: And why is my family drunk?
Speaker 2: And then I got machine to my mom's funeral? Keep on,
Speaker 2: I got meat consumption on there. Girl, That shit's weird,
Speaker 2: Like it tastes good as fuck, and I get it,
Speaker 2: but like, bruh, like grow the meat.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's how I felt yesterday about the salami that
Speaker 1: we were eating because it was sitting out long enough
Speaker 1: that it started sweating, and I was like, this is
Speaker 1: so abnormal. Would look a moving creature, but that's.
Speaker 2: In the eye. It is literally like red with blood.
Speaker 1: I will say, like steak, like a steak.
Speaker 2: A trust me, I fucked up a good steak in
Speaker 2: my life and in my time I grew up in Texas.
Speaker 2: But like, bruh, like all the blood and the juices
Speaker 2: and every time they're like, it's not blood, it's blah
Speaker 2: blah blah blah blah. Girl, I don't give a fuck.
Speaker 2: It's red and coming out of meat, Like.
Speaker 1: It's blood, what else would it be.
Speaker 2: There's like this like other shit they call it. I
Speaker 2: don't know what it's fucking called. Then they get mad
Speaker 2: at me for anything.
Speaker 1: They're listening to what the people, like, the people are
Speaker 1: trying to tell you that is blood.
Speaker 2: It's enough exactly.
Speaker 1: It's looking at y'all the whole time. This episode keep going.
Speaker 2: I got prison time for victimless crimes. Girl. Let the
Speaker 2: people smoke and do their drugs, like, we don't need
Speaker 2: to flood the prisons with people. Period.
Speaker 1: It is super barbara. That is literally super barbaric. That
Speaker 1: is like the definition of animalistic. You know, at the
Speaker 1: beginning of time when someone did something back, we were like,
Speaker 1: we're gonna put you in a fucking cage, and then
Speaker 1: they were like, we should make this cage into a multimillion.
Speaker 2: And industrial dude. That's what I was just about to say.
Speaker 2: I like pausing, and I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 2: all of these are driven by what capitalism. Let's go okay.
Speaker 2: And then these two are like kind of more serious.
Speaker 2: But clean drinking water. Us having clean drinking water is
Speaker 2: going to be barbaric because like it's gonna be polluted
Speaker 2: because we don't know how to handle nice things. And
Speaker 2: then having grass in your front yard is going to
Speaker 2: be very barbaric because the sun's gonna burn a hole
Speaker 2: in the ozone lay and we're not gonna have grass
Speaker 2: or water.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, so barbaric in the way that like people
Speaker 1: are gonna look back and be like, dude, I can't
Speaker 1: believe they even had that.
Speaker 2: I was just joking, like I was saying, like, girl,
Speaker 2: climate change, Hello.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're done for sure. There's like literally nothing we
Speaker 1: could do. That's also why I don't want to have
Speaker 1: I want to have kids. They're gonna melt.
Speaker 2: Oh have you ever heard of the flute of the
Speaker 2: flute of shame?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: Bruh Okay. So it's this like metal casted thing that
Speaker 2: like is cast around your neck and on your arms.
Speaker 2: So you're if you're like making really bad public disturbances
Speaker 2: or like playing music publicly, they'll tie this. They'll make
Speaker 2: this thing that like goes around your neck and your
Speaker 2: arms and you just have to carry it around all day.
Speaker 2: And we need to bring that back because some of
Speaker 2: you bitches are making terrible music.
Speaker 1: Um, I do agree.
Speaker 2: Hold on, let me show you it.
Speaker 1: He was gonna be the one, be the one for me,
Speaker 1: but he ended up Lovinger. That is fucking fire.
Speaker 2: Yeah, bring it back.
Speaker 1: Someone's gotta put that girl.
Speaker 2: We're gonna be the ones with the fluid shamer on
Speaker 2: the fucking neck with a screaming in public and shit,
Speaker 2: and you will.
Speaker 1: Never stop me from being shameful in public because it's
Speaker 1: literally the best most time. Oh my god, I ate leftover.
Speaker 1: Joe and the Juice is my first thing. It was
Speaker 1: like a leftover spicy tuna and then I had a
Speaker 1: coffee and a cigarette, so my insides probably smell like embombing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Joe and the Juice is the spicy tuna sandwich
Speaker 2: is the greatest thing you can put into your ask sustenance.
Speaker 2: I'm like, eating meat is gonna be so barbaric in
Speaker 2: the future.
Speaker 1: It's just different though, Like seafood to me doesn't feel
Speaker 1: as barbaric for some reason, Like does that make sense exactly? Also,
Speaker 1: like it feels cleaner, even though I'm sure the ocean
Speaker 1: but no, to me, the ocean is clean, even though
Speaker 1: like I think it's really polluted.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Also, the big ass nets that they drag along
Speaker 2: the bottom of the ocean and just destroy all the
Speaker 2: core reefs. It's like the saddest and just scar the
Speaker 2: earth because they want to collect fucking shrimps or some
Speaker 2: shit like bro, just I'm gonna throw it in the
Speaker 2: fucking aquaponics chamber or something.
Speaker 1: Um.
Speaker 2: Okay, I have an experiment trade out at home. I
Speaker 2: want you to think about something you don't like about yourself.
Speaker 2: Are you thinking about something you don't like it?
Speaker 1: I can't think off the top of my head.
Speaker 2: Okay, that's the whole thing. It's just like, think about
Speaker 2: something you don't like about it with yourself and just
Speaker 2: ruminate with it.
Speaker 1: That's the experiment. What you just like sense us all
Speaker 1: like a self loathing path exactly.
Speaker 2: I want you to be like depressed.
Speaker 1: Actually, think about this. When he asked that, how fast
Speaker 1: did you answer? And if you didn't answer immediately, maybe
Speaker 1: you do like yourself and you should stop being so
Speaker 1: hard on yourself. Oh I'm not even kidding. That's that
Speaker 1: tall me because then I was I was like, the
Speaker 1: first thing I thought of, is I do genuinely? I
Speaker 1: think this is a problem more for my own safety though?
Speaker 1: Is I am too open and vulnerable of a person
Speaker 1: If somebody asked me something I will fully answer it honestly,
Speaker 1: or if I'm feeling something and going through something, I
Speaker 1: will tell everybody my business. And I actually do think
Speaker 1: that's a problem because nobody needs to know my business
Speaker 1: the way they fucking do.
Speaker 2: Dude that it is so crazy, Like we'll meet someone
Speaker 2: and we'll be hanging out with them for like two weeks,
Speaker 2: and then you will tell them her entire life.
Speaker 1: So yeah, there are certain things I absolutely won't say,
Speaker 1: and I literally have a list of that certain thing,
Speaker 1: and I have a list of the people I've told
Speaker 1: because I'm actually er crazy and neurotic about it. But like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll tell them all my business. I don't give a fuck,
Speaker 1: Like I'll be like, yeah, like the house got broken
Speaker 1: into and Tom got hit by a car and then
Speaker 1: I broke my ankles. I'm like, I literally will go
Speaker 1: on a whole thing.
Speaker 2: I'm pretty similar to should.
Speaker 1: I flash my Kuchi the way I did in the
Speaker 1: last episode eight million times? Apparently? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, but yeah, you probably love yourself.
Speaker 1: Of an alcohol more than this puss.
Speaker 2: But now we can get into media.
Speaker 1: That's my media.
Speaker 2: Is that being okay? My movie is Carol.
Speaker 1: To watch that? Yeah?
Speaker 2: That shit was Earth shattering like call me by your
Speaker 2: name level of just like bruh, like ugh, like made
Speaker 2: me so fucking sick to my goddamn stomach. I wanted
Speaker 2: to like vomit all over the airplane, like so fucked up.
Speaker 2: Please watch it. There's like a couple of quotes. I
Speaker 2: like this one from it, You're a strange one, aren't
Speaker 2: you flung from space? And the context makes it better.
Speaker 2: And then her on the phone saying ask me things
Speaker 2: like come on, and then my media.
Speaker 1: Oh those are quotes. I was like, bitch, what song
Speaker 1: is that?
Speaker 2: My song is uh, Teddy Wilson Blue Holiday. And then
Speaker 2: I've been in like listening to like the worst rap
Speaker 2: you've ever heard, Challenge, Like that's like the game I've
Speaker 2: been playing. And I really like op Pack by Zulu,
Speaker 2: Shopping Spree by Tim k. And then this song isn't rap,
Speaker 2: but it's a wicked game by Chris Isaac is really cool.
Speaker 2: It's like that Brander oh yeah. And then Interface by
Speaker 2: Scars S S G A r Z. And this is
Speaker 2: the type of music that I make, so it's cool
Speaker 2: to see someone else doing it too well.
Speaker 1: Mine is the most insane mix of genres and vibes
Speaker 1: ever same Honey, Won't You Call Me by Hank Williams,
Speaker 1: Smile Please by Dean Blunt, Circles by Atlantic Star, You've
Speaker 1: Changed by Kisha Cole, I Love Your Girl by The Dream.
Speaker 1: If you grew up listening to that song, please listen
Speaker 1: to it again, because I hadn't heard it in so long, and.
Speaker 2: Then that we were listening to in the car.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and She's a radio killer beat up Ah, I
Speaker 1: Love Yoka Yo Moms Okay and Cherry Pie by Shade
Speaker 1: and will I See You Again? These Sacred Souls, which
Speaker 1: I thought was an old song because I'm a cunt
Speaker 1: and I only like music that is sounds old if
Speaker 1: it is old, and it's a newer song, but it's
Speaker 1: so fucking good, And now I'm like, damn, I need
Speaker 1: to listen to the rest of their music so I
Speaker 1: could see them live. And I should stop being a
Speaker 1: fucking hater and putting a timestamp on music, because like
Speaker 1: that doesn't make me any better than anybody else, and
Speaker 1: I'm just like keeping myself from enjoying something that a
Speaker 1: lot of people get to enjoy. And then one day,
Speaker 1: when I'm older, it will be old and I'll be
Speaker 1: able to be like, wow, I remember when I came
Speaker 1: out blah blah blah blah blah. But I'm just like
Speaker 1: this actually awful person. But it's mainly to myself, Like
Speaker 1: I just hold myself out from so many joys because
Speaker 1: I'm so scared of being perceived to somebody who is
Speaker 1: a loser. But I'm literally not. I'm so fucking vibes.
Speaker 1: And then the last one is Infinity Recording by Daft Punk.
Speaker 1: And then I'm trying to think of what movie I watched. Oh,
Speaker 1: I watched Bones and All and I've never laughed harder
Speaker 1: at the ending of a movie in my life. And
Speaker 1: it was so enjoyable for that, and thank you so much.
Speaker 1: And it was like I liked the movie, but the
Speaker 1: ending actually made me want to throw up from laughing
Speaker 1: so hard.
Speaker 2: Nice. And I saw Oppenheimer. Obviously, literally everyone in the
Speaker 2: world saw Oppenheimer. I haven't seen Barbie yet because I'm
Speaker 2: a straight man. In there aren't boobs.
Speaker 1: That's I was gonna say. There's no pussy and Barbie,
Speaker 1: so I'm not saying it. There's no male genitalia. I
Speaker 1: want to see some dick and balls. There's none of it.
Speaker 1: In Oppenheimer.
Speaker 2: There is I'm not kidding it, there's a full fifteen
Speaker 2: minute sex scene with butthole.
Speaker 1: Actually, I'm not kidding. That's my ache is seeing a
Speaker 1: man's ass like it is discussed.
Speaker 2: Like seeing ball down.
Speaker 1: But between this, God, it is so nasty.
Speaker 2: It's really cringe.
Speaker 1: Mail and Natavi is really fucking gross, like.
Speaker 2: And it's like stinky.
Speaker 1: Okay yo, dude, and it's so gross.
Speaker 2: Should I do a Drew SI corner to end off
Speaker 2: this episode? Yeah, welcome to drew Shya corner. Okay, don't
Speaker 2: leave your pills around me, because I'm gonna be googling
Speaker 2: them to see what you got going on.
Speaker 1: When you posted that, I was like, dude, I do
Speaker 1: the same thing every time without fail. One of my parents' house,
Speaker 1: they always have some new fucking medication. I look at it.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm like, bruh, why do you got fucking antibiotics?
Speaker 2: You got an STD or something? Or is this like
Speaker 2: a painkiller.
Speaker 1: That I'm an. I realized antibiotics get me a little high,
Speaker 1: so I'm gonna start giving myself BEV more often.
Speaker 2: Oh so I.
Speaker 1: Can mix my antibiotics with alcohol, because then I get
Speaker 1: really fucked.
Speaker 2: Oh, don't do that. You're gonna commit or you're gonna
Speaker 2: create like an antibiotic resistant, fucking bacterial dad genosis. Some
Speaker 2: of y'all's WAPs got a pH ballant that could turn
Speaker 2: a cucumber into a pickle. Oh wow, Gay's son. Or
Speaker 2: Margarita pizza.
Speaker 1: Honestly, Margarita pizza. If the day is right, if I'm
Speaker 1: like high and it's like seventy three degrees out and
Speaker 1: I have a really good oh, if I have a
Speaker 1: really cold coke to go with that, I'm picking the pizza.
Speaker 2: My pronouns are he has risen.
Speaker 1: Wait what did I say yesterday? My pronouns are oh banging'
Speaker 1: yo mama yeah.
Speaker 2: And mine are I slash made, slash yo, slash mama, slash, squirt,
Speaker 2: slash vagina juice, slash all over the walls, slash period.
Speaker 2: And then the last one is condoms be having the
Speaker 2: pussy smelling like rain boots. Oh also four times three.
Speaker 1: The condom, maybe ten times in my life.
Speaker 2: That is so fucked up. That is literally fed up.
Speaker 2: I'm like, that's so fucked up. The flood, so fucking slag.
Speaker 2: Bring back manly man.
Speaker 1: I've been saying like, what the crap, and what the hell? Seriously,
Speaker 1: it's not okay. We do this all the time. We
Speaker 1: start saying something ironically, and then I'm actually like, what
Speaker 1: the hell, what the crap, you're a.
Speaker 2: Weird motherfucker and you better call Carl Bismarck and you.
Speaker 1: Better not be a snitch er. I'll tell fucking Carl
Speaker 1: bismar I sound.
Speaker 2: Really, motherfucker.
Speaker 1: What's the other one? O'rian was complimenting me. I'm probably
Speaker 1: not going to do it right this time, but she
Speaker 1: was complementing me on my impersonation of like you better stop, okay,
Speaker 1: you stop, all right? Bye?
Speaker 2: Oh? I see guys, you guys to see how she
Speaker 2: really treats you. She doesn't fucking care about you. She
Speaker 2: doesn't even fucking care about me, so you think she'd
Speaker 2: fucking care about you, But look, she's just over there
Speaker 2: eating your fucking vitamin. See.
Speaker 1: I finally caved into the TikTok shop.
Speaker 2: Fuck you, Bassard, you're all lying and you're being scammed,
Speaker 2: and the TikTok shop is insane and a finesse and
Speaker 2: a scam.
Speaker 1: Don't buy off of it exactly.
Speaker 3: Unless unless I put something on, unless I get paid
Speaker 3: to do an Ad
Speaker 2: Eight