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Speaker 1: I was in a coma when so much was happening

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Speaker 1: about my life and my story was spreading around the world.

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Speaker 1: I remember my last day of school in Pakistan. I

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Speaker 1: was fifteen years old. I was hoping for the next

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Speaker 1: day to be a normal day, and then something terrible

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Speaker 1: happened and I wake up in a hospital in Birmingham

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Speaker 1: in the UK, and I find myself on a hospital bed,

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Speaker 1: recovering from injuries, going through severe pains, trying to figure

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Speaker 1: out what had happened. And you know, I still had

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Speaker 1: not even seen what was out there on the media

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Speaker 1: about me.

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Speaker 2: The number one health and wellness podcast Ja Shetty Jay

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Speaker 2: Sheddy only shed Malala, Welcome to On Purpose.

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Speaker 1: Thank you. I'm so excited to be here.

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Speaker 2: I'm so grateful because I've wanted you on the show

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Speaker 2: for so many years. And I'm actually really, really glad

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Speaker 2: that it didn't happen before this book, because I don't

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Speaker 2: think I would have really understood what you were going through,

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Speaker 2: who you are, who you're trying to become. And I

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Speaker 2: feel this book is almost like your reintroduction to the world,

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Speaker 2: and so I got to get a sense of the

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Speaker 2: real you. But I'm so grateful thank you for the opportunity.

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Speaker 1: Thank you so much. It's truly an honor to be

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Speaker 1: on your podcast. And I cannot agree more with you

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Speaker 1: on this. Writing a book like this is like writing

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Speaker 1: a journal, and you want to share that journal with

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Speaker 1: people out there, hoping that it could help somebody out

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Speaker 1: there who might be in the same place as you,

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Speaker 1: might be feeling lost, may not be able to find

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Speaker 1: a way out. So I wrote this book because I

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Speaker 1: once needed a book like this when I was going

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Speaker 1: through difficult times. So my hope is that it helps

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Speaker 1: people find their way.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's interesting you say that because in one sense,

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Speaker 2: your journey is unrelatable because you've seen things that most

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Speaker 2: people have not seen. And then at the same time,

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Speaker 2: when I was reading the book, I'd agree with you.

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Speaker 2: There's so much relatability to it in how we're seeing,

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Speaker 2: how we're heard, how we're understood, how people project their

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Speaker 2: beliefs and opinions and expectations onto us. And so I

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Speaker 2: wanted to start off by asking you that you open

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Speaker 2: the book with I'll never know who I was supposed

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Speaker 2: to be, because the world decided who you were before

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Speaker 2: you got to become Talk to me about how that

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Speaker 2: felt the first time you understood that.

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Speaker 1: I was in a coma when so much was happening

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Speaker 1: about my life and my story was spreading around the world.

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Speaker 1: I remember my last day of school in Pakistan, fifteen

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Speaker 1: years old. I was hoping for the next day to

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Speaker 1: be a normal day, and then something terrible happened and

51
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Speaker 1: I wake up in a hospital in Birmingham in the UK,

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Speaker 1: and I find myself on a hospital bed, recovering from injuries,

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Speaker 1: going through severe pains, trying to figure out what had happened.

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Speaker 1: And you know, I still had not even seen what

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Speaker 1: was out there on the media about me. You know,

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Speaker 1: I was like, you know, what does this new life mean?

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Speaker 1: Do I take on this new journey in a new

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Speaker 1: place and how do I recover from the trauma that

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Speaker 1: I have faced. I knew that the only way I

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Speaker 1: can actually have some hope in life is by dedicating

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Speaker 1: my life to girls education. So I took on this

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Speaker 1: journey to become a girls education activist. I was defined

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Speaker 1: as a brave, courageous activist. You know, when I learned

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Speaker 1: more about how I was described in the world, I said, Okay, wow, maybe, okay,

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Speaker 1: this is what it means when you survive a terrorist attack.

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Speaker 1: This is how you're supposed to live your life, and

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Speaker 1: and there's not much you can do. You cannot go

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Speaker 1: back to the old life. You cannot expect a normal

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Speaker 1: life because you are now invited to these big events

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Speaker 1: and gatherings and you are receiving awards and you are

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Speaker 1: getting titles. You have to live up to it now.

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Speaker 1: So I said, Okay, it means I cannot have a

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Speaker 1: normal life. I cannot be that normal student. I cannot

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Speaker 1: feel the same love or just have that that normal

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Speaker 1: life as as a teenager, you know, as a as

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Speaker 1: a young woman. So I sort of embraced it. You know,

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Speaker 1: you sort of internalize it, and you embrace it whatever

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Speaker 1: people say about you and you then you begin to

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Speaker 1: live up to that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's it's so and like I said,

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Speaker 2: it's so interesting because what you experienced, and we'll get

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Speaker 2: to that is so different and distant from the experience.

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Speaker 2: Yet when you say those words of I felt like

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Speaker 2: I had to live up to how people saw me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I think that's a very human thing that we all experience,

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Speaker 2: except yours was on the world stage.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's important to share that. We begin to internalize it.

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Speaker 1: I started saying that it's a sense of responsibility that

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Speaker 1: I feel because I want myself to live up to

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Speaker 1: this idea of being a brave and courageous activist advocating

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Speaker 1: for girls around the world. I cannot be scared, I

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Speaker 1: cannot have fear, and I need to stay committed to

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Speaker 1: making a change happen. And at the same time, like

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Speaker 1: I'm fifteen years old, I have to be studying at

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Speaker 1: the same time, I have to learn so much and

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Speaker 1: and try to be a normal student, and then also

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Speaker 1: maintain like writing a book and giving speeches and you know,

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Speaker 1: like receiving a Nobel Peace Prize at age seventeen. I

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Speaker 1: remember I was still in my school and that morning

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Speaker 1: my team asked me if I wanted to stay back

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Speaker 1: and prepare a media statement just in case. And I said,

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Speaker 1: are you guys crazy? Do you think a school student

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Speaker 1: should be receiving a Nobel Peace Prize? So I went

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Speaker 1: to my school. I was in my chemistry class. My

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Speaker 1: school's deputy head teacher walked in and called me outside

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Speaker 1: and informed me that I had won the Nobel Peace Prize.

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Speaker 1: I was like shocked. I said thank you to her.

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Speaker 1: I gave short remarks to everybody in the school to

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Speaker 1: just thank them and talk about the importance of education.

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Speaker 1: Then I went back to like my physics class, and

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Speaker 1: I completed my school. Actually, I said, I'm not going

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Speaker 1: to do any interviews or anything. I'm going to finish

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Speaker 1: my school. You know, that day, I felt that so

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Speaker 1: many like students sort of looked at me. And I

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Speaker 1: felt really noticed that day because in this new school,

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Speaker 1: I was a very quiet person, and I thought, you know,

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Speaker 1: I thought like everybody saw me as an activist and

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Speaker 1: nobody really wanted to be friends with me. But the

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Speaker 1: next day, when everything was back to normal, I felt

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Speaker 1: that most people turned their faces away and it just

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Speaker 1: went back to like that normal day. Were I just

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Speaker 1: I just you know, wanted to have I wanted to

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Speaker 1: have friends, and it, you know, wasn't there.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you do you feel like that made you disconnect

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Speaker 2: and distant from your friends and people around you, Like,

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Speaker 2: how did it affect you? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I don't really, you know, blame the students at that school.

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Speaker 1: It was an all girls school. It was in a

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Speaker 1: completely new country now, different language, different culture. A lot

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Speaker 1: of the girls had already made friends. So I was

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Speaker 1: a late comer and they had heard about me in

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Speaker 1: the news. They had heard the story, and I think

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Speaker 1: they were feeling awkward in how to approach me. And

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Speaker 1: at the same time, I was also so nervous in

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Speaker 1: starting a conversation. And I actually missed my old life.

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Speaker 1: I just wanted to be the girl I was in Pakistan, mischievous,

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Speaker 1: exploring new things, adventurous, chatting with friend all the time

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Speaker 1: and like copying or like mimicking people's accents and talking about,

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Speaker 1: like you know, gossip and all of those things. And

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Speaker 1: I just thought, maybe, like maybe that's that part of

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Speaker 1: my life is is gone.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I love the part where you say they made

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Speaker 2: me into a mythical heroine. Sometimes the absurdity of it

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Speaker 2: made me laugh. You said, growing up in Mingora, I

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Speaker 2: was a troublemaker, even on my best day. I was

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Speaker 2: not the reticence saint that everyone now claimed I was.

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Speaker 2: I know, I was laughing when I read it, but

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Speaker 2: then feeling sad because yeah, that has real consequences for you.

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Speaker 2: But it almost made me laugh and I was like,

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Speaker 2: oh wow, like Milala, like the Malala sees herself as

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Speaker 2: a mischievous, you know, funny person who's you know, a

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Speaker 2: trouble maker. Yeah, Like, tell me about that version of you,

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Speaker 2: Like take us back to that version of you.

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Speaker 1: In Pakistan, I was, you know, still exploring who I

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Speaker 1: was as a person, and in school, I was very active.

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Speaker 1: I wanted to participate in every competition. I was giving

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Speaker 1: speeches and doing debates, and I was also like trying

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Speaker 1: to sing. I don't know, like I'm like with a

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Speaker 1: terrible voice, also doing that. My friends and I still

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Speaker 1: joke about it that, you know, we just love to

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Speaker 1: be doing something all the time. Education is a privilege.

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Speaker 1: We knew that it's not something that every girl has

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Speaker 1: access to. I thought I was lucky that my father

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Speaker 1: was so supportive of allowing me to be in school.

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Speaker 1: So I valued and treasured every moment at school. And

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Speaker 1: you know, hear people complain about being in school and

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Speaker 1: they can't wait for it to finish. It was the

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Speaker 1: other way around for us. We wanted to stay in

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Speaker 1: school for as long as we could. Because when girls

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Speaker 1: exposure is limited, and when you live in a patriarchal

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Speaker 1: society where you cannot really leave your home, so you know,

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Speaker 1: you're supposed to stay inside the four walls of a house,

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Speaker 1: so school becomes that place of safety for you where

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Speaker 1: you can explore things, but at the same time, like

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Speaker 1: you know you are you are in a safe place,

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Speaker 1: but you can explore the things that you love and enjoy.

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Speaker 1: So we we loved our time in school, and I

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Speaker 1: just wish that I could have all of that in

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Speaker 1: the UK as well, in this new school. And somehow

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Speaker 1: it was very challenging to like make it happen. I

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Speaker 1: was trying house like participating in almost everything that I could.

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Speaker 1: I was signing up for like a two hundred meter race,

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Speaker 1: and then I was trying to be part of the

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Speaker 1: debating society because I wanted to make friends, not that

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Speaker 1: I wanted to add more to my personal statement or

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Speaker 1: wanted to be an excellent student, like truly, deeply, all

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Speaker 1: I wanted was to get an opportunity where I could

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Speaker 1: like talk to friends.

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Speaker 2: Back in Pakistan. When you were saying that you already

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Speaker 2: had this gratitude to be an education, how did that

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Speaker 2: develop at such a young age, because I feel that's

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Speaker 2: often what develops with perspective. How did you have it

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Speaker 2: at such an early age to recognize the value of education.

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Speaker 2: What did you see women go through or what had

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Speaker 2: you seen that inspired you to want to value education.

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Speaker 1: The scenario of a girl without an education was not

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Speaker 1: something that we had to imagine. We were actually seeing

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Speaker 1: it right in front of our eyes. We had the

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Speaker 1: stories of our aunts, of our mothers, of our cousins,

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Speaker 1: of our siblings, who without an education, missed out on

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Speaker 1: the opportunity to have a future that they chose. My

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Speaker 1: own mother could not learn. It was very uncommon in

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Speaker 1: the village for a girl to be even enrolled into school.

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Speaker 1: So when she was admitted into a primary school and

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Speaker 1: she was the only girl in that classroom, she sold

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Speaker 1: her books because she said, there's no point no other

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Speaker 1: girl is going to a school, and she got some

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Speaker 1: candies in return. She never saw a classroom after that.

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Speaker 1: It was then years later, when you know, when she

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Speaker 1: finally was married to my dad, and my dad has

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Speaker 1: been very supportive of like women's rights and girls' education,

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Speaker 1: she started relearning again. So when I, you know, when

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Speaker 1: I was seeing how women and girls are asking for

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Speaker 1: one thing, and that is the right to learn, I

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Speaker 1: knew that it was truly a privilege to be in school.

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Speaker 1: But I think, you know, the moment when I realized

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Speaker 1: that this was not something that girls can access so

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Speaker 1: easily and it can be taken away. Was when the

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Speaker 1: Taliban took over.

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Speaker 2: What was different about your father's experience that made him

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Speaker 2: so aware of this was what was different about his

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Speaker 2: upbringing or.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's really hard to answer because so my

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Speaker 1: dad and his brother both received their education while their

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Speaker 1: five sisters could not. And my dad took a different

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Speaker 1: commitment that when he has a daughter, he will educate her,

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Speaker 1: while his brother did not do the same. So, you know,

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Speaker 1: you could be in this in the exact same environment

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Speaker 1: and you can read and understand it very differently than

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Speaker 1: the other person, and you can make different decisions. So

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Speaker 1: for my dad, it was this simple dream where he

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Speaker 1: wanted girls to have exactly the same rights as voice,

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Speaker 1: and he always questioned why his sisters could not be

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Speaker 1: in school while he could be. And he knew that

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Speaker 1: for things to change for women and girls, men have

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Speaker 1: to change and do better. So he became a feminist

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Speaker 1: father before he had even heard the feminism. And he

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Speaker 1: usually says that don't ask me what I did, but

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Speaker 1: ask me what I did not do. I did not

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Speaker 1: clip her wings. So he believes in the autonomy, in

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Speaker 1: the in the power of women and girls. He says, like,

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Speaker 1: we don't need to do anything, We just need to

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Speaker 1: take a step back and give them space. So my

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Speaker 1: father was an amazing father. I consider myself lucky and

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Speaker 1: I remind people that my story is not unique. So

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Speaker 1: many other girls in my hometown wanted to speak out

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Speaker 1: against the Taliban oppression for their right to education, but

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Speaker 1: their brothers or their fathers stop them. The only thing

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Speaker 1: that's different in my story is that my father did

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Speaker 1: not stop me.

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Speaker 2: Well, what a beautiful relationship you have and a gratitude

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Speaker 2: that you have for him and incredible, and I can

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Speaker 2: agree with you more. There's it's amazing that even for

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Speaker 2: a woman to gain access the education. Sadly that requires

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Speaker 2: the permission of a man that space.

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Speaker 1: Yes, and it's you know, like it is irritating, You're

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Speaker 1: like why it is that way, but it is a

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Speaker 1: reality if you live in a patriarchal society. We have

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Speaker 1: to acknowledge that men are in power, they have influence,

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Speaker 1: so we have to be engaging them as well. And

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Speaker 1: it takes a lot of time to change things. Right now,

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Speaker 1: when I look at our community in Pakistan, in the

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Speaker 1: village that my parents are from, a lot of things

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Speaker 1: are changing now because when a few fathers step up

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Speaker 1: and they really redefine what it means to be a

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Speaker 1: good father, other fathers follow their footsteps. And my father

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Speaker 1: is spreading this message that true honor lies in standing

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Speaker 1: up for women and girls when their rights are taken away.

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Speaker 1: And you can be fulfilling your role as a father

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Speaker 1: when you empower your daughters when they have equal rights,

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Speaker 1: when they fulfill their dreams, not that you marry them off,

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Speaker 1: like that's not true fatherhood. You give them the education

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Speaker 1: so they choose their future for themselves.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely well said, it's before I look forward to me

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Speaker 2: and your dad one day too.

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Speaker 1: You'd love him.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's it's amazing. It's truly incredible. I can't imagine

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Speaker 2: how was it challenging for him as well to do that,

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Speaker 2: and for the men in very challenging, Like I can't

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Speaker 2: imagine the judgment and the kind of criticism.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I mean, I remember one time I was supposed

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Speaker 1: to speak at this press conference and my male cousin

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Speaker 1: was asked to help me get to the press conference.

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Speaker 1: And I was wearing a headscarf but I was not

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Speaker 1: covering my face. So my cousin just was like really

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Speaker 1: like irritated by that, because most women are expected to

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Speaker 1: cover their faces when they're in public, especially when they

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Speaker 1: like reach adulthood. But I was still like very little,

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Speaker 1: and I just did not want to cover my face.

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Speaker 1: And I remember that cousin just going to my dad

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Speaker 1: and telling him that or Malala should like cover her face,

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Speaker 1: and it's just, you know, such a shame to the

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Speaker 1: family's name. And my dad told him to mind his

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Speaker 1: own business and told him to like just basically like,

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Speaker 1: it's none of your business what she does. It's her

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Speaker 1: choice whatever she wants to wear. So in those moments,

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Speaker 1: you know, you do reflect and wonder what if your

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Speaker 1: dad had not spoken out for you, things would have

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Speaker 1: been different. So it makes a huge difference when people

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Speaker 1: become your allies and they stand up for you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, at that time, what were your dreams post education? Like,

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Speaker 2: what were your aspirations before you became the emblem and

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Speaker 2: the symbol that you speak about. What were you dreaming of?

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Speaker 2: What was your hope to do with your education that

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Speaker 2: you were so grateful to receive.

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Speaker 1: I mean I had many dreams. I was, you know,

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Speaker 1: exploring everything. Initially, I just wanted to be a car mechanic.

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Speaker 1: Then I said, okay, let's be a doctor, because everybody

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Speaker 1: was dreaming to be a doctor or engineer. But when

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Speaker 1: the Taliban took over our hometown and they banned girls education,

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Speaker 1: they restricted women from movement outside their houses, and they

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Speaker 1: were targeting and killing people if they're dared to speak out.

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Speaker 1: So at that time, I was questioning what our leaders

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Speaker 1: were doing for us. So I said, okay, you know what,

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Speaker 1: I'll become the prime minister and I will fix all

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Speaker 1: the problems in the world. Of course, that dream of

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Speaker 1: mind changed because I realized that if you look at

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Speaker 1: the world politics, people in leadership positions are rather disappointing

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Speaker 1: us by not addressing these injustices and these deep rooted problems. So,

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Speaker 1: of course my dreams have changed throughout life. But at

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Speaker 1: the time, I just wanted a different reality, a different

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Speaker 1: future for us. I simply wanted girls to be able

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Speaker 1: to go to school, to not be stopped, to not

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Speaker 1: be threatened, to not be harmed, to not be killed,

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Speaker 1: to learn, and to follow their dreams. I did not

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Speaker 1: want people to pick up their guns and target a

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Speaker 1: girl simply because she wants to be in school and

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Speaker 1: she wants to follow her dreams. But this is a reality,

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Speaker 1: like you know, for women and girls to exist and

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Speaker 1: to have equal opportunities or just to have a life

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Speaker 1: in dignity as a human, they're threatened for that. It's

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Speaker 1: really hard to process, but this is a reality like

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Speaker 1: so many many women have experienced or are still living through.

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Speaker 2: When the Taliban takes over your town, what does that

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Speaker 2: actually look like and what does that mean for people

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Speaker 2: who have no idea what that actually looks like, and

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Speaker 2: what that means for your rights and what that means

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Speaker 2: for general living.

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Speaker 1: I mean, everything changed when the Taliban took over. Initially

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Speaker 1: they were just giving religious sermons about you know, the religion,

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Speaker 1: and then quickly they started announcing these restrictions on women

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Speaker 1: and girls. That a woman cannot go to a market,

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Speaker 1: she cannot do a job. They were threatening people who

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Speaker 1: were artists, like painters or dancers or musicians. They said,

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Speaker 1: you know, all of this form of art is also prohibited.

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Speaker 1: And then they started like attacking people for it. They

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Speaker 1: would announce somebody's name that you know, this person dared

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Speaker 1: to disobey our rules and and uh, and then they

350
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Speaker 1: were like they would kill them. It was terrifying time

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Speaker 1: and then it affected like me directly, and it affected

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Speaker 1: guls directly when the Taliban announced that no Gul will

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Speaker 1: be allowed to be in school. And I remember the

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Speaker 1: day when the band was imposed and I woke up

355
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Speaker 1: and I just couldn't go to school anymore because the

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Speaker 1: Taliban would be on the roads on the streets, and

357
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Speaker 1: and you know, you could not be seen with a

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Speaker 1: with a backpack or in your school uniform. And I

359
00:20:47,119 --> 00:20:50,240
Speaker 1: remember the morning when my brothers would pack their school

360
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Speaker 1: bags and go off while I had to stay behind

361
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Speaker 1: my I think then like a few weeks later, some

362
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Speaker 1: of our friends sort of came out with this idea

363
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Speaker 1: that why don't we just go in our home clothes

364
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Speaker 1: and like wear a long hefty scarf basically and like

365
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Speaker 1: hide our bag and still like make it to school.

366
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Speaker 1: So we also like went to school secretly. But it

367
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Speaker 1: was I was like, you know, why we should not

368
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Speaker 1: be living in a world where girls have to hide

369
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Speaker 1: that their learning. It should be right that every girl

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Speaker 1: should be freely receiving.

371
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Speaker 2: Where did the innovative idea of starting a blog come

372
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Speaker 2: from to write about these things that you started to

373
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Speaker 2: document and reference and stand up for, Like, where did

374
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Speaker 2: that impetus come from for you to say, I'm actually

375
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Speaker 2: going to write about these things. I'm actually going to

376
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Speaker 2: document what's happening.

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Speaker 1: You know, when these horrible things are happening and you

378
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Speaker 1: are living under a terrorism, you just want somebody to know.

379
00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:57,000
Speaker 1: It feels like the world is silent and nobody's looking

380
00:21:57,040 --> 00:22:00,280
Speaker 1: towards you. So, you know, my father and I were

381
00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:05,320
Speaker 1: finding opportunities where we can raise awareness, bring attention to

382
00:22:05,359 --> 00:22:08,960
Speaker 1: what was happening, because if you don't bring attention, then

383
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:12,560
Speaker 1: there's just lack of action as well. So I was

384
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:16,880
Speaker 1: speaking at the local press conferences, we were doing peace walks,

385
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:20,679
Speaker 1: we spoke to the local media, and then these international

386
00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:24,879
Speaker 1: platforms also reached out. So the BBC blog, you know,

387
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Speaker 1: the BBC journalist approached my dad and said that they

388
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Speaker 1: wanted a student to share about their life under the Taliban.

389
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Speaker 1: So my dad actually asked another gun at the school,

390
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Speaker 1: and you know, she shared her blog for one day

391
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Speaker 1: and then her father came the next day and said

392
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Speaker 1: he could he can't allow his daughter to share her blog.

393
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Speaker 1: So when I heard that, I went to my dad

394
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Speaker 1: and I said, Dad, like, I want I want to

395
00:22:51,359 --> 00:22:54,520
Speaker 1: write my blog. I want to share my story. So

396
00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:56,359
Speaker 1: my dad said, okay, like, if you want to do it,

397
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Speaker 1: I'll support you. So I started blogging about my life.

398
00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:02,560
Speaker 1: I talked about, you know, the last days of school

399
00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:06,440
Speaker 1: and then what life was like under the Taliban education ban.

400
00:23:07,359 --> 00:23:10,680
Speaker 1: I wanted the world to know what was happening. And

401
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:16,040
Speaker 1: I believe that change does not happen itself. Things will

402
00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:18,720
Speaker 1: remain as they are if we're waiting for somebody else

403
00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:21,919
Speaker 1: to come and save us. So I knew that I

404
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:24,480
Speaker 1: need to do my part as much as I can,

405
00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:29,080
Speaker 1: and if that means telling my story at these conferences,

406
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:33,840
Speaker 1: at these local platforms to the international media, I will

407
00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:37,040
Speaker 1: do that. My father was an activist, so I was

408
00:23:37,119 --> 00:23:39,800
Speaker 1: just simply following his footsteps, and we both became this,

409
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:42,399
Speaker 1: these activists doing the work together.

410
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Speaker 2: I mean that was from such an early age. That

411
00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:46,840
Speaker 2: was like eleven years old, eleven years old, eleven years

412
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Speaker 2: old for you to start becoming an activist. And that's

413
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Speaker 2: what's so interesting about is I read the book that

414
00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:58,040
Speaker 2: you were an activist before the event, and we'll talk

415
00:23:58,080 --> 00:24:00,760
Speaker 2: about it, but you're already an act is from such

416
00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:05,000
Speaker 2: a young age, it almost feels like you were meant

417
00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:08,240
Speaker 2: to be an activist. But there's so much lost when

418
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:11,560
Speaker 2: it becomes your entire identity, yeah, rather than a part

419
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:12,480
Speaker 2: of your identity.

420
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Speaker 1: Basically, yes, I became an activist at a young age,

421
00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:19,440
Speaker 1: but this is not what I had chosen for myself.

422
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:25,200
Speaker 1: It was the circumstances that made me an activist. I mean,

423
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Speaker 1: which girl at eleven years old want to be an activist?

424
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Speaker 1: But it's only when your school is closed, that's when

425
00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:33,800
Speaker 1: you want to speak out because you want to be

426
00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:37,600
Speaker 1: back in school. That was my dream. I wanted girls

427
00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:39,800
Speaker 1: in my hometown to be in school. I wanted myself

428
00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:43,240
Speaker 1: to continue my education. We knew that a future without

429
00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:47,280
Speaker 1: an education is dark. We had seen stories of women

430
00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:51,200
Speaker 1: who lost their dreams because they were not being able

431
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:53,480
Speaker 1: to go to school. So simply it was a dream

432
00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:56,480
Speaker 1: to have a future with equal opportunities. We can stand

433
00:24:56,480 --> 00:24:59,600
Speaker 1: on our own two feet, we can make a living

434
00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:01,800
Speaker 1: for our cells, we can know about our rights, we

435
00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:06,800
Speaker 1: can protect our rights. And so education was a pathway.

436
00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:10,240
Speaker 1: And when you are living in a patriarchal society, education

437
00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:11,720
Speaker 1: becomes the only pathway.

438
00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:19,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's it's amazing because you say that the situation

439
00:25:19,359 --> 00:25:21,440
Speaker 2: made you that way, But obviously there are other people

440
00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:27,960
Speaker 2: turning down the activism. Yeah, you felt like compelled to

441
00:25:28,119 --> 00:25:31,400
Speaker 2: stand up for your fellow friends and fellow girls.

442
00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:35,680
Speaker 1: I thought, if I were to choose between two options,

443
00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:40,240
Speaker 1: whether to live under the Taliban and be silent, or

444
00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:43,199
Speaker 1: if it was you know, just to speak out and

445
00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:46,439
Speaker 1: even if it mean a thread from the Taliban but

446
00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:51,000
Speaker 1: some change could happen, I would choose the latter because

447
00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:57,399
Speaker 1: I wanted to see things change, because I wanted simply

448
00:25:57,400 --> 00:26:00,480
Speaker 1: a different future for ourselves. And it's really hard to tell,

449
00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:02,200
Speaker 1: you know, if it was the voice of like one

450
00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:05,440
Speaker 1: activist who changed something or not. Like so many people

451
00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:09,680
Speaker 1: were involved. You know, there was a whole civil society

452
00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:14,239
Speaker 1: who were advocating for bringing peace and for like you know,

453
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:18,600
Speaker 1: like speaking against the Taliban's restrictions. Then this military operation

454
00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:23,280
Speaker 1: was done, we returned to we became internally displaced, and

455
00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:25,840
Speaker 1: then the summer of two thousand and nine, we returned

456
00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:29,240
Speaker 1: to Swath Valley and we restarted our lives. So many

457
00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:33,320
Speaker 1: schools were bombed, so many police stations and different like

458
00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:37,440
Speaker 1: political officials, buildings, and so many things were like damaged.

459
00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:40,639
Speaker 1: There were suicide attacks, people had lost their loved ones.

460
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:44,440
Speaker 1: So our area, you know, Swath valley, which has been

461
00:26:44,480 --> 00:26:46,840
Speaker 1: known as the as a place of tourism and it's

462
00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:49,359
Speaker 1: known for its beauty and it's called like the Switzerland

463
00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:53,359
Speaker 1: of the East, became like a place of terrorism and

464
00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:55,840
Speaker 1: it was now just like war tone area. So we

465
00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:59,479
Speaker 1: had to then rebuild it. And I knew that it

466
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:02,560
Speaker 1: was not just groups like the Taliban that we have

467
00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:05,360
Speaker 1: to stand up against, but we also have to talk

468
00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:11,640
Speaker 1: about the mindset, the mentality that still exists. It does

469
00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:14,160
Speaker 1: not have the like a name, it does not necessarily

470
00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:17,480
Speaker 1: is in the shape of an armed group, but the

471
00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:21,200
Speaker 1: ideology is there, and we have to stand up against

472
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:24,520
Speaker 1: this ideology that do not see women as equal humans

473
00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:27,080
Speaker 1: and that deny women and gulls their rights. So my

474
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:31,560
Speaker 1: father and I continued our activism, but we just thought

475
00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:36,199
Speaker 1: that the Taliban were gone. But somehow, you know, they

476
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:40,000
Speaker 1: were still there in the distance. And I yeah, And

477
00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:44,400
Speaker 1: then in twenty twelve, at age fifteen, I was attacked

478
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:45,120
Speaker 1: by the Taliban.

479
00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:50,640
Speaker 2: Before that, were you worried that you'd be attacked and

480
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:54,240
Speaker 2: did you fear being attacked when you were being an

481
00:27:54,280 --> 00:27:58,600
Speaker 2: activist through the blog these conferences speaking were you scared

482
00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:01,040
Speaker 2: that that could ever happen and that could possibility with

483
00:28:01,119 --> 00:28:02,080
Speaker 2: that across your mind.

484
00:28:04,359 --> 00:28:07,920
Speaker 1: Yes, I had these thoughts many times, what would happen

485
00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:11,560
Speaker 1: if a Taliban gunman shows up and tries to attack me?

486
00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:15,760
Speaker 1: But I was more worried about my dad. I just

487
00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:20,479
Speaker 1: had this little hope that maybe they would not attack

488
00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:23,600
Speaker 1: a girl. They would not attack you know, a fourteen

489
00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:27,560
Speaker 1: or fifteen year old girl. So yeah, you know, like

490
00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:30,760
Speaker 1: I every night, I would be worried about my father

491
00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:31,840
Speaker 1: more than more than me.

492
00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:36,320
Speaker 2: I mean, even just listening to that, as I'm listening

493
00:28:36,359 --> 00:28:40,719
Speaker 2: to your journey and your life, I'm like, there is

494
00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:43,120
Speaker 2: so much courage and there is so much resilience for

495
00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:47,080
Speaker 2: such a young person to be able to even make

496
00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:50,840
Speaker 2: sense of what is going on, let alone put themselves

497
00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:52,479
Speaker 2: at the center of it. And the fact that you

498
00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:57,760
Speaker 2: were concerned about your father in that moment is so

499
00:28:58,040 --> 00:29:02,240
Speaker 2: heartwarming and at the same time it's it's painstaking because

500
00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:05,480
Speaker 2: it's so much pressure on such a young person to

501
00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:24,960
Speaker 2: take on. It's really incredible in your book, and I

502
00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:26,920
Speaker 2: want to be very sensitive to do with this because

503
00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:28,800
Speaker 2: of the way you write about it. And when I

504
00:29:28,840 --> 00:29:31,760
Speaker 2: was at this point in your book, it really, you know,

505
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:35,520
Speaker 2: it really took me a second a process it myself,

506
00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:37,520
Speaker 2: and you talked about how you said, my life is

507
00:29:37,520 --> 00:29:41,960
Speaker 2: so happy now and it's hard to look back, and

508
00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:45,840
Speaker 2: I appreciate that. I can't imagine. I can't even come

509
00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:49,080
Speaker 2: close to imagine how hard it is to even reflect

510
00:29:49,360 --> 00:29:54,480
Speaker 2: on being attacked by the Taliban and in the manner

511
00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:57,200
Speaker 2: that it happened. I believe you're on a bus, yes,

512
00:29:57,920 --> 00:30:00,920
Speaker 2: the school bus. So walk me through what you can

513
00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:04,959
Speaker 2: sensitively and mindfully in the best way for you to

514
00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:07,520
Speaker 2: share that experience so people can understand what happened.

515
00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:12,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, So we were on our school bus, and you know,

516
00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:14,880
Speaker 1: I was just hoping i'd get to my home and

517
00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:17,480
Speaker 1: prepare for my next day exams. It would be a

518
00:30:17,480 --> 00:30:20,320
Speaker 1: normal school day the next day. But on the way,

519
00:30:20,960 --> 00:30:25,719
Speaker 1: the Taliban gunman stopped our school bus and one person

520
00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:28,720
Speaker 1: was distracting the driver at the front, and one guy

521
00:30:28,840 --> 00:30:32,600
Speaker 1: showed at the back and asked, who's Malala, and my

522
00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:38,280
Speaker 1: face was uncovered. He immediately started firing bullets. One bullet

523
00:30:38,320 --> 00:30:41,840
Speaker 1: immediately had hit me on the left side of my forehead,

524
00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:45,320
Speaker 1: and two bullets hit the friends who were sitting right

525
00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:47,360
Speaker 1: next to me in their arms and in their hand.

526
00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:53,680
Speaker 1: I do not remember the exact incident, you know, And

527
00:30:53,720 --> 00:30:55,920
Speaker 1: this has been my answer so far. I have like

528
00:30:56,040 --> 00:31:00,000
Speaker 1: many like memories in my head, but I sort of

529
00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:03,000
Speaker 1: have told myself I do not remember it. And I

530
00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:07,400
Speaker 1: was then taken to a hospital and from one hospital

531
00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:09,840
Speaker 1: to then another to then another, and then eventually I

532
00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:13,760
Speaker 1: was moved to the UK for my further treatment. And

533
00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:18,840
Speaker 1: you know, I survived, My friends survived. I started my

534
00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:22,040
Speaker 1: school again in the UK. My friends also or moved

535
00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:26,760
Speaker 1: to the UK and they started their school. So you know,

536
00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:31,320
Speaker 1: when I when I look back, I'm just really grateful that, uh,

537
00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:34,400
Speaker 1: you know that that we're all alive and we completed

538
00:31:34,440 --> 00:31:39,040
Speaker 1: our education. But like everything changed that day, you know,

539
00:31:39,640 --> 00:31:42,120
Speaker 1: like we didn't make it to our homes. It was

540
00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:47,280
Speaker 1: it was sort of a terrible, terrible moment. All I

541
00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:49,920
Speaker 1: remember is the last day of school and then waking

542
00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:53,840
Speaker 1: up in a hospital in Birmingham in the UK and

543
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:56,520
Speaker 1: just realizing that I have a tube in my neck

544
00:31:57,240 --> 00:32:00,320
Speaker 1: and I can't talk, and I just look around and

545
00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:03,520
Speaker 1: I see these nurses and doctors speaking in English. They

546
00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:06,719
Speaker 1: look very different than like the brown people I had

547
00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:09,040
Speaker 1: seen in Pakistan. And I said, I feel like I'm

548
00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:13,440
Speaker 1: in a different place, and I am sort of writing

549
00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:16,360
Speaker 1: down to them to just tell me where I was

550
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:19,320
Speaker 1: as a you know, where am I like? What happened

551
00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:23,960
Speaker 1: to me? And I repeatedly asked one question, where's my father?

552
00:32:24,680 --> 00:32:26,800
Speaker 1: And then I would also add, who's going to pay

553
00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:28,840
Speaker 1: for this? I don't have money, so I was worried

554
00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:32,760
Speaker 1: about the medical bill. You know, I think Americans would

555
00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:36,160
Speaker 1: understand where I was coming from, but I just wanted

556
00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:40,400
Speaker 1: to get better and leave the hospital, go back to

557
00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:44,600
Speaker 1: my old life. It took me a while to realize that,

558
00:32:45,720 --> 00:32:49,840
Speaker 1: you know, my life had taken a turn. My parents

559
00:32:49,920 --> 00:32:52,840
Speaker 1: joined me ten days later at the hospital. That was

560
00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:55,920
Speaker 1: the first time I actually cried, because a lot of

561
00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:58,120
Speaker 1: people might think that when I woke up, I might

562
00:32:58,160 --> 00:33:01,080
Speaker 1: have been under like so much and trauma, might have

563
00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:04,400
Speaker 1: been crying day and night. No, I just I wasn't

564
00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:06,840
Speaker 1: feeling normal. The pain is so intense that you just

565
00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:11,960
Speaker 1: forget the normal emotions to process it, the normal reactions.

566
00:33:12,400 --> 00:33:16,280
Speaker 1: So I couldn't even cry. And the first time I

567
00:33:16,760 --> 00:33:19,280
Speaker 1: saw my family when they came back to the when

568
00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:22,200
Speaker 1: they came to the UK, that was the first moment

569
00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:25,640
Speaker 1: I cried, because you know, when you see your family,

570
00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:29,560
Speaker 1: you connect with that normal life that you had before.

571
00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:34,800
Speaker 1: So and then before I even realized, you know, I

572
00:33:34,840 --> 00:33:37,560
Speaker 1: had like a few more surgeries to go through. And

573
00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:40,040
Speaker 1: then you know, they said, okay, we want you to

574
00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:44,000
Speaker 1: do this like interview and we're supposed, you know, we

575
00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:46,800
Speaker 1: want you to give this speech at the un and

576
00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:49,680
Speaker 1: we also have this book offer, so it would be

577
00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:53,400
Speaker 1: good if you can sign the book offer. So, and

578
00:33:53,640 --> 00:33:57,320
Speaker 1: you have to start school as well, because we don't

579
00:33:57,320 --> 00:33:59,000
Speaker 1: know when you can go back, but you should start

580
00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:01,479
Speaker 1: school in the UK. So I joined a new school.

581
00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:04,480
Speaker 1: And this is this like new pathway that my life took.

582
00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:08,719
Speaker 1: To be honest, Like in my heart, I thought this

583
00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:11,759
Speaker 1: is all temporary, Like this is all temporary for now

584
00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:14,120
Speaker 1: because we are going to go back to Pakistan as

585
00:34:14,160 --> 00:34:17,160
Speaker 1: soon as possible and we will have a normal life.

586
00:34:18,080 --> 00:34:20,960
Speaker 1: I just had no idea what was out there and

587
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:24,360
Speaker 1: what had happened. So, like the first time when I

588
00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:28,440
Speaker 1: learned about the response from like people around the world

589
00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:32,160
Speaker 1: was when this person from the hospital brought a basket

590
00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:35,759
Speaker 1: of cards and letters. And I'm like reading cards and

591
00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:38,880
Speaker 1: letters from people around the world like US and Japan

592
00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:42,640
Speaker 1: and India and Canada, and I'm like, wait a second,

593
00:34:42,680 --> 00:34:45,719
Speaker 1: Like do people know about me, and then I like

594
00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:48,920
Speaker 1: looked at you know, sort of news on Google and

595
00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:52,880
Speaker 1: all of that. It's like wait a second, wow, Like

596
00:34:53,440 --> 00:34:59,400
Speaker 1: this is this is truly an opportunity because people have

597
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:02,799
Speaker 1: heard my but maybe I can bring attention to the

598
00:35:02,840 --> 00:35:05,240
Speaker 1: stories of girls around the world. So I started Malala

599
00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:07,400
Speaker 1: Fund as well at the time, an organization I have

600
00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:10,640
Speaker 1: dedicated to girls education. So before I knew it, like,

601
00:35:11,280 --> 00:35:13,919
Speaker 1: you know, everything had switched. Now now I was sort

602
00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:17,680
Speaker 1: of like the lead activist. My father was following my footsteps,

603
00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:21,560
Speaker 1: and I was like helping my family as well. I was,

604
00:35:21,719 --> 00:35:24,080
Speaker 1: you know, doing a book or speeches and things like

605
00:35:24,120 --> 00:35:27,680
Speaker 1: that to help support my family. And I also had

606
00:35:27,680 --> 00:35:30,000
Speaker 1: to be a student at the same time.

607
00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:35,160
Speaker 2: I mean, I know a lot even hearing about it,

608
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:37,640
Speaker 2: I'm just like, I don't I have no idea how

609
00:35:37,719 --> 00:35:39,319
Speaker 2: you carried all of that.

610
00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:41,680
Speaker 1: In the middle of all of this, you sort of

611
00:35:42,560 --> 00:35:45,920
Speaker 1: forget that you are fifteen and you're supposed to be

612
00:35:45,960 --> 00:35:50,120
Speaker 1: a girl. I you know, could not be silly. I

613
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:54,720
Speaker 1: could not do normal things. I was not binge watching

614
00:35:54,760 --> 00:35:59,719
Speaker 1: some like sitcoms. I was I was not being able

615
00:35:59,719 --> 00:36:02,920
Speaker 1: to make friends at school. I was too shy, too awkward,

616
00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:06,399
Speaker 1: and you know, at lunchtime, I would I would just say, okay,

617
00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:08,800
Speaker 1: you know, I hope I can like sit next to

618
00:36:08,840 --> 00:36:10,839
Speaker 1: a friend. At least I can pretend like I'm sitting

619
00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:15,120
Speaker 1: with somebody and I don't want to sit alone. So

620
00:36:15,160 --> 00:36:17,080
Speaker 1: by the end of my school I just had only

621
00:36:17,120 --> 00:36:19,760
Speaker 1: made one one best friend and we're now like friends

622
00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:22,439
Speaker 1: for life, but just one one friend at school. And

623
00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:25,120
Speaker 1: so that that was all tough, because when you're like

624
00:36:25,160 --> 00:36:27,160
Speaker 1: so busy and you have all of this work going on,

625
00:36:28,719 --> 00:36:30,600
Speaker 1: it's you know, it's hard. It's hard to be a

626
00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:32,680
Speaker 1: normal student at school.

627
00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:36,840
Speaker 2: I mean with the attack, it sounds like the television

628
00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:40,319
Speaker 2: had come across your blog and aware of your speeches

629
00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:43,600
Speaker 2: and your activism. Do you think they saw you as

630
00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:46,239
Speaker 2: a threat because you were starting to gain momentum. Were

631
00:36:46,239 --> 00:36:48,279
Speaker 2: you starting to have an impact and they noticed that

632
00:36:48,760 --> 00:36:51,880
Speaker 2: or was it a way of displaying power, Like, yeah,

633
00:36:51,920 --> 00:36:53,160
Speaker 2: how have you reconciled that?

634
00:36:53,560 --> 00:36:57,120
Speaker 1: So the Taliban issued statements after that attack, and they

635
00:36:57,160 --> 00:37:01,200
Speaker 1: said many things when I survived, that they did the

636
00:37:01,280 --> 00:37:05,800
Speaker 1: right thing, that I was somehow promoting an anti Islamic

637
00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:09,800
Speaker 1: ideology by simply asking for girls to be in school,

638
00:37:10,840 --> 00:37:17,520
Speaker 1: and they said that they still see me as as

639
00:37:17,520 --> 00:37:21,839
Speaker 1: that disobedient person that needs to be punished for speaking out.

640
00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:28,680
Speaker 1: So they have like repeatedly created these fabricated narratives, these

641
00:37:28,719 --> 00:37:31,760
Speaker 1: false narratives calling what I do as like un Islamic

642
00:37:31,920 --> 00:37:36,280
Speaker 1: or all of that. I mean, like learning and education

643
00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:40,840
Speaker 1: is a core part of Islam. I wish sometimes that

644
00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:44,640
Speaker 1: they read what they're preaching, Like if they read more

645
00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:47,239
Speaker 1: about Islam, they will learn that the most important thing

646
00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:52,160
Speaker 1: is actually seeking knowledge and learning. And there's nothing in

647
00:37:52,680 --> 00:37:55,080
Speaker 1: the religion that says a woman or a girl cannot learn.

648
00:37:55,120 --> 00:37:59,160
Speaker 1: So how can they make up these new rules by themselves.

649
00:37:59,160 --> 00:38:03,359
Speaker 1: It's just simply paid and misogyny, you know, it's they

650
00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:09,880
Speaker 1: try to misreligions exactly exactly. Yeah, I mean, I I

651
00:38:09,960 --> 00:38:15,239
Speaker 1: sometimes think about how much can I understand their ideology,

652
00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:17,200
Speaker 1: and then how can I convince them. I was of

653
00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:19,080
Speaker 1: this view for a long time. I thought maybe I

654
00:38:19,080 --> 00:38:21,799
Speaker 1: could sit down with them and explain it to them,

655
00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:23,840
Speaker 1: and I can tell them that, you know, I have

656
00:38:23,880 --> 00:38:27,040
Speaker 1: also read the Quran with translation, or like I know

657
00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:31,520
Speaker 1: all the ninety nine names of Allah off by heart,

658
00:38:31,560 --> 00:38:33,239
Speaker 1: and I can sort of say, like you know that

659
00:38:34,560 --> 00:38:37,160
Speaker 1: that they don't own the religion, like there are all

660
00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:40,960
Speaker 1: of us from many cultures and many backgrounds who connect

661
00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:44,920
Speaker 1: with with the faith that you know, education is not

662
00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:47,440
Speaker 1: a threat to women. It's rather about their empowerment and

663
00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:50,040
Speaker 1: that it is a core part of Islam. But with

664
00:38:50,200 --> 00:38:54,080
Speaker 1: time I realized that you know, it's it's not about that,

665
00:38:54,160 --> 00:38:58,200
Speaker 1: it's not about you know, changing their ideologies, but it's

666
00:38:58,239 --> 00:39:02,680
Speaker 1: talking about the deep cause of why these extreme ideologies emerge.

667
00:39:03,239 --> 00:39:13,040
Speaker 1: And education is a pathway to challenge indoctrination, to encourage

668
00:39:13,040 --> 00:39:16,800
Speaker 1: critical thinking among people, and to empower people like education

669
00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:21,000
Speaker 1: is the most powerful equalizer and it can help us

670
00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:24,879
Speaker 1: address so many of these social economic injustices. And at

671
00:39:24,880 --> 00:39:27,440
Speaker 1: the same time, like, you know, if the Taliban do

672
00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:30,080
Speaker 1: not want to see women and girls empowered or in education,

673
00:39:30,480 --> 00:39:32,920
Speaker 1: the best way for me to fight back is to

674
00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:36,560
Speaker 1: help girls and women get education and equal opportunities. So

675
00:39:36,760 --> 00:39:38,960
Speaker 1: I shifted my focus. I said, I'm going to focus

676
00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:41,920
Speaker 1: on educating girls. The Taliban wanted to stop one girl

677
00:39:41,960 --> 00:39:44,800
Speaker 1: from learning, Let's educate every girl in the world.

678
00:39:45,920 --> 00:39:49,920
Speaker 2: It's so empowering listening to you you say that, and

679
00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:53,160
Speaker 2: to see the ripple effects that it's having, And I

680
00:39:53,200 --> 00:39:55,120
Speaker 2: wonder for you as you were doing that as you

681
00:39:55,160 --> 00:39:57,520
Speaker 2: start that process from coming out of the koma. How

682
00:39:57,520 --> 00:39:58,560
Speaker 2: long were you in a coma for?

683
00:39:59,160 --> 00:40:02,840
Speaker 1: I think a week. It was like induced coma.

684
00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:05,360
Speaker 2: I can't imagine how worried your parents were when you

685
00:40:05,360 --> 00:40:06,399
Speaker 2: didn't come home that night.

686
00:40:06,760 --> 00:40:11,120
Speaker 1: I mean it was a nightmare. I could never understand it.

687
00:40:11,239 --> 00:40:15,799
Speaker 1: I you know, comprehended what they experienced. And it's one

688
00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:18,839
Speaker 1: of those topics that sort of we have talked through

689
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:22,239
Speaker 1: when it was the book writing phase, you know, that's

690
00:40:22,280 --> 00:40:24,920
Speaker 1: when you ask each other questions like I'm writing this chapter,

691
00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:29,040
Speaker 1: can you tell me what exactly happened? But these conversations

692
00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:34,239
Speaker 1: are really really hard, and like mental health therapy, these

693
00:40:34,280 --> 00:40:38,359
Speaker 1: conversations did not come up at the time. I had,

694
00:40:38,440 --> 00:40:40,839
Speaker 1: like many doctors and nurses, and I loved all of them,

695
00:40:41,520 --> 00:40:45,280
Speaker 1: but the therapist at the hospital was my least favorite.

696
00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:50,319
Speaker 1: And you know, she would ask me, how are you

697
00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:53,920
Speaker 1: feeling today? And I would roll my eyes that you know,

698
00:40:53,960 --> 00:40:58,120
Speaker 1: what does she know? And like my father, my parents

699
00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:01,080
Speaker 1: and we sort of said not to therapy. We said

700
00:41:01,080 --> 00:41:03,480
Speaker 1: it's okay, like, you know, I'm doing fine. I have recovered,

701
00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:06,440
Speaker 1: like the surgeries are successful. I have recovered. And then

702
00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:11,440
Speaker 1: it was like years later that I wished that I

703
00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:18,799
Speaker 1: had received therapy because I thought, I I, you know,

704
00:41:18,840 --> 00:41:24,439
Speaker 1: I had recovered and everything was fine. I just thought

705
00:41:24,480 --> 00:41:27,719
Speaker 1: I did not remember the attack, so I'm good. I

706
00:41:27,719 --> 00:41:32,640
Speaker 1: can move on. And then seven years later I had

707
00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:38,160
Speaker 1: flashbacks that were triggered by a bong incident. Yeah, so

708
00:41:38,280 --> 00:41:42,440
Speaker 1: you know, this is now college time, and I was

709
00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:45,279
Speaker 1: open to exploring many things in college. I you know,

710
00:41:45,840 --> 00:41:49,400
Speaker 1: my life had taken this shift. I was becoming a

711
00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:53,920
Speaker 1: different young person. So this was like, you know, a

712
00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:56,600
Speaker 1: normal light. And I was hanging out with some friends

713
00:41:57,239 --> 00:42:01,400
Speaker 1: and they showed me a long and I was like,

714
00:42:01,440 --> 00:42:03,719
Speaker 1: what is this and it's like, oh, you know, just

715
00:42:03,760 --> 00:42:07,880
Speaker 1: give it a try. Nothing harmful. So I take one puff,

716
00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:11,680
Speaker 1: I cough, and on the second attempt, I inhale it

717
00:42:11,719 --> 00:42:15,359
Speaker 1: and I felt it went all inside my body and

718
00:42:15,400 --> 00:42:18,680
Speaker 1: what was like supposed to be a fun night just

719
00:42:18,719 --> 00:42:25,160
Speaker 1: took a sharp turn and immediately I froze. I thought

720
00:42:26,560 --> 00:42:30,759
Speaker 1: I was reliving the attack. The flashbacks were in front

721
00:42:30,840 --> 00:42:34,360
Speaker 1: of my eyes. I thought I could see the gunmen again.

722
00:42:36,160 --> 00:42:40,479
Speaker 1: I was shaking, I was shivering, you know, I could

723
00:42:40,520 --> 00:42:43,920
Speaker 1: hear my heart beat. I was you know, I just

724
00:42:44,200 --> 00:42:46,640
Speaker 1: I wanted to scream. It was like the such a

725
00:42:47,360 --> 00:42:49,960
Speaker 1: trauma that I was going through in that moment, and

726
00:42:50,080 --> 00:42:52,640
Speaker 1: it like went on and on. I just wanted it

727
00:42:52,680 --> 00:42:55,959
Speaker 1: to stop, and I felt so helpless, like time slowed down,

728
00:42:57,120 --> 00:43:00,280
Speaker 1: you know. I thought, maybe this is the afterlife, maybe

729
00:43:00,400 --> 00:43:03,080
Speaker 1: maybe I'm dead, maybe it has happened again, like maybe

730
00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:06,520
Speaker 1: the gunmen are back. And I was like so scared

731
00:43:06,560 --> 00:43:08,680
Speaker 1: that I could not even close my eyes and fall

732
00:43:08,719 --> 00:43:13,960
Speaker 1: asleep because I thought if I close my eyes that

733
00:43:14,040 --> 00:43:18,520
Speaker 1: I will die. And like even even the next day,

734
00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:21,400
Speaker 1: I thought, you know, this will like sort of magically disappear.

735
00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:23,520
Speaker 1: You just hope the next day to be normal, And

736
00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:28,640
Speaker 1: it wasn't the case, and I realized that my life

737
00:43:28,640 --> 00:43:33,520
Speaker 1: had changed. I had many panic attacks after that, and

738
00:43:34,120 --> 00:43:36,640
Speaker 1: I as much as I tried, I just could it

739
00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:37,600
Speaker 1: was not going away.

740
00:43:38,400 --> 00:43:42,200
Speaker 2: Wow, it's incredible to think after seven years, yes, that

741
00:43:42,320 --> 00:43:46,080
Speaker 2: everything could come back. And I was I was actually

742
00:43:46,120 --> 00:43:49,680
Speaker 2: going to ask before that there's this. It's almost like

743
00:43:49,840 --> 00:43:53,600
Speaker 2: you were being asked to be the symbol of courage

744
00:43:53,600 --> 00:43:56,400
Speaker 2: and hope. Yeah, but that meant there was no space

745
00:43:56,520 --> 00:44:01,000
Speaker 2: for grief or anger like or doubt, like the grief

746
00:44:01,040 --> 00:44:03,920
Speaker 2: of the lost life that you had before, the grief

747
00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:05,799
Speaker 2: of having to leave this place that you loved that

748
00:44:05,840 --> 00:44:08,880
Speaker 2: you thought you were coming back to. It sounds like

749
00:44:08,960 --> 00:44:11,600
Speaker 2: there wasn't any time or space to process any of that,

750
00:44:12,239 --> 00:44:15,000
Speaker 2: And had you had the therapy support that you would

751
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:18,800
Speaker 2: have wanted, maybe it wouldn't have happened that way. Yeah,

752
00:44:18,960 --> 00:44:21,960
Speaker 2: talk to me about how when did you was that

753
00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:25,120
Speaker 2: when you first started looking at emotions like grief and anger,

754
00:44:25,160 --> 00:44:28,040
Speaker 2: and what were the emotions that came up after that

755
00:44:28,920 --> 00:44:30,280
Speaker 2: seven year reminder?

756
00:44:31,360 --> 00:44:34,200
Speaker 1: I think now I see it as emotions of grief

757
00:44:34,440 --> 00:44:42,520
Speaker 1: and frustration or but I think you know, what's different

758
00:44:42,840 --> 00:44:46,719
Speaker 1: in my experience was that when a moment like that

759
00:44:46,840 --> 00:44:50,480
Speaker 1: broke me down, and when small things would make me

760
00:44:50,640 --> 00:44:53,799
Speaker 1: scared or frightened, all of a sudden, this was not

761
00:44:53,880 --> 00:44:57,080
Speaker 1: happening before. Because I was supposed to be this brave

762
00:44:57,120 --> 00:45:01,319
Speaker 1: and courageous girl, and now that I was afraid of

763
00:45:01,520 --> 00:45:06,799
Speaker 1: small things or just nothing terrified me. I felt that

764
00:45:06,880 --> 00:45:11,680
Speaker 1: I had failed in living up to the expectation of

765
00:45:11,760 --> 00:45:18,879
Speaker 1: being brave and courageous, and that was the hardest part

766
00:45:18,920 --> 00:45:23,960
Speaker 1: to process. I just could not take in more and

767
00:45:24,040 --> 00:45:27,440
Speaker 1: I was frustrated with myself because I thought like Malana remembered, like,

768
00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:31,759
Speaker 1: you went through so much, you processed it, and you

769
00:45:31,800 --> 00:45:34,920
Speaker 1: could take so much on your shoulders. Why is it

770
00:45:34,960 --> 00:45:38,560
Speaker 1: breaking you down now when like you are safe and

771
00:45:38,600 --> 00:45:42,160
Speaker 1: there's nothing to be worried about, You like everything is okay,

772
00:45:42,320 --> 00:45:46,279
Speaker 1: and somehow you're like frightened. Now that is just like

773
00:45:46,440 --> 00:45:48,880
Speaker 1: so hard to process at the time that you feel

774
00:45:48,880 --> 00:45:54,279
Speaker 1: like so frustrated with yourself. There's this anger frustration, and

775
00:45:54,560 --> 00:45:56,600
Speaker 1: you feel like you are an impostor because you know

776
00:45:56,640 --> 00:46:01,360
Speaker 1: you have you have failed to meet this definition of

777
00:46:01,400 --> 00:46:04,560
Speaker 1: being brave. So for months, like it went on that

778
00:46:04,680 --> 00:46:08,480
Speaker 1: even my friends started noticing that I was not doing okay.

779
00:46:09,600 --> 00:46:11,920
Speaker 1: So one of my friends then suggested that I see

780
00:46:11,960 --> 00:46:15,400
Speaker 1: a therapist. And that was the first time, after seven

781
00:46:15,480 --> 00:46:17,200
Speaker 1: or eight years, that I started therapy.

782
00:46:17,680 --> 00:46:20,279
Speaker 2: It's so fascinating, isn't it that despite you having lived

783
00:46:20,320 --> 00:46:23,480
Speaker 2: through so many difficult things, the mind is still able

784
00:46:23,520 --> 00:46:26,799
Speaker 2: to guilt you into thinking you should have figured this out. Like,

785
00:46:26,840 --> 00:46:29,479
Speaker 2: how do you like it's so like hearing you say

786
00:46:29,480 --> 00:46:32,439
Speaker 2: that you've got all the proof that you've gone through

787
00:46:32,480 --> 00:46:35,600
Speaker 2: really hard things. Yes, but the mind still finds a

788
00:46:35,640 --> 00:46:39,000
Speaker 2: way to make you feel guilty and shameful and frustrated

789
00:46:39,040 --> 00:46:41,520
Speaker 2: that you haven't figured out, or an impostor as you

790
00:46:41,640 --> 00:46:44,279
Speaker 2: just said, like, oh you're an impostor because you're helping

791
00:46:44,360 --> 00:46:47,120
Speaker 2: people have hope, but you're still dealing with this, and

792
00:46:47,160 --> 00:46:49,959
Speaker 2: it's amazing how the mind can just get the better

793
00:46:50,040 --> 00:46:53,360
Speaker 2: of us. Yeah, regardless of what we've lived through.

794
00:46:53,640 --> 00:46:57,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean we lived under terrorism, we lived under

795
00:46:57,640 --> 00:47:02,360
Speaker 1: the Taliban, and I lived those moments with so much courage.

796
00:47:02,960 --> 00:47:05,080
Speaker 1: And then, like many years later, I could not even

797
00:47:05,160 --> 00:47:09,759
Speaker 1: watch the news and see the word killing attack. It

798
00:47:09,800 --> 00:47:13,480
Speaker 1: would just terrify me so much that like you cannot

799
00:47:13,560 --> 00:47:19,240
Speaker 1: hide it. You cannot hide that it's breaking you apart.

800
00:47:19,440 --> 00:47:22,480
Speaker 1: You know, the flashbacks, these panic attacks. So when my

801
00:47:22,560 --> 00:47:26,279
Speaker 1: friend suggested that I see a therapist, I remember my

802
00:47:26,360 --> 00:47:29,040
Speaker 1: first session with the therapist where I told her everything

803
00:47:29,080 --> 00:47:33,600
Speaker 1: about what was going on. She told me that, you know,

804
00:47:33,719 --> 00:47:38,400
Speaker 1: this is PTSD and anxiety. She said, it could be

805
00:47:38,480 --> 00:47:41,920
Speaker 1: like many things. You might be stressed about your exams

806
00:47:42,040 --> 00:47:44,000
Speaker 1: or your college life, and so many things that you

807
00:47:44,040 --> 00:47:48,080
Speaker 1: are thinking about right now in life, but this is anxiety,

808
00:47:48,120 --> 00:47:51,040
Speaker 1: and this is PTSD that you are experiencing, like many

809
00:47:51,080 --> 00:47:54,200
Speaker 1: many years later, you know, I was so annoyed. I

810
00:47:54,239 --> 00:47:57,520
Speaker 1: was saying, like, so, how can we fix this? I

811
00:47:57,560 --> 00:48:00,640
Speaker 1: was hoping she would give me some medication, that she

812
00:48:00,640 --> 00:48:03,080
Speaker 1: would fix the problem, but she made me realize that

813
00:48:03,200 --> 00:48:07,720
Speaker 1: it takes time. It takes time to process. She taught

814
00:48:07,719 --> 00:48:14,560
Speaker 1: me different techniques, like breathing techniques to help myself when

815
00:48:14,600 --> 00:48:19,120
Speaker 1: I am facing anxiety. Uh and uh and and she,

816
00:48:19,600 --> 00:48:23,319
Speaker 1: you know, helped me understand that there's only so much

817
00:48:23,440 --> 00:48:26,120
Speaker 1: like you can take at a time. And maybe you

818
00:48:26,160 --> 00:48:29,000
Speaker 1: could many years ago, but maybe right now that you know,

819
00:48:29,040 --> 00:48:31,080
Speaker 1: she calls it a wind of tolerance, that your wind

820
00:48:31,120 --> 00:48:33,880
Speaker 1: of tolerance is maybe you know, sort of shrinking a

821
00:48:33,920 --> 00:48:36,000
Speaker 1: bit and then it expands a bit at times that

822
00:48:36,280 --> 00:48:39,560
Speaker 1: maybe you have just too much on your shoulders that

823
00:48:40,520 --> 00:48:43,719
Speaker 1: you are overwhelmed, or sometimes when we don't address it

824
00:48:43,760 --> 00:48:47,040
Speaker 1: on time, it piles up and then it's they gets

825
00:48:47,040 --> 00:48:49,879
Speaker 1: so heavy that it breaks you down. So she said,

826
00:48:49,920 --> 00:48:52,799
Speaker 1: like you might be experiencing that as well. So, yeah,

827
00:48:52,840 --> 00:48:56,920
Speaker 1: like the therapy really changed everything for me. Like if

828
00:48:56,920 --> 00:48:58,960
Speaker 1: I had not received therapy, I just do not even

829
00:48:59,000 --> 00:49:01,480
Speaker 1: know if I would have been like in this position

830
00:49:01,560 --> 00:49:01,959
Speaker 1: right now.

831
00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:05,879
Speaker 2: What kept you committed to therapy when you're having such

832
00:49:05,960 --> 00:49:09,440
Speaker 2: dark days? Because as you said, it's not like you

833
00:49:09,520 --> 00:49:12,440
Speaker 2: wake up tomorrow and you feel better, obviously, and so

834
00:49:13,040 --> 00:49:16,440
Speaker 2: what kept you committed to the process when you weren't

835
00:49:16,440 --> 00:49:18,800
Speaker 2: seeing the light at the end of the tunnel?

836
00:49:19,200 --> 00:49:21,920
Speaker 1: So, you know, like I was finding a way to

837
00:49:22,320 --> 00:49:24,040
Speaker 1: get out of it, like you know, you feel like

838
00:49:24,160 --> 00:49:27,799
Speaker 1: you are you are in the darkness, or like you

839
00:49:27,840 --> 00:49:30,719
Speaker 1: want to get out. You know that you don't want

840
00:49:30,760 --> 00:49:32,520
Speaker 1: to be in the place where you are right now,

841
00:49:33,160 --> 00:49:37,040
Speaker 1: and you're finding different ways to get out of it.

842
00:49:37,480 --> 00:49:40,040
Speaker 1: I try to talk to my parents. My parents just

843
00:49:40,120 --> 00:49:42,520
Speaker 1: could not understand I. You know, I was like sort

844
00:49:42,520 --> 00:49:44,440
Speaker 1: of phrasing it in a way that it doesn't freak

845
00:49:44,520 --> 00:49:46,719
Speaker 1: them out. But I was telling them that I have

846
00:49:46,840 --> 00:49:50,000
Speaker 1: had some challenges with my mental health. And my mom

847
00:49:50,120 --> 00:49:52,759
Speaker 1: was like, just don't be stressed, like you know, just

848
00:49:52,800 --> 00:49:54,840
Speaker 1: be happy. And the same with my dad. He's like,

849
00:49:54,880 --> 00:49:57,080
Speaker 1: you know, we want to see you happy, and when

850
00:49:58,040 --> 00:50:00,399
Speaker 1: you are sad, it makes us sad, but when you happy,

851
00:50:00,480 --> 00:50:03,319
Speaker 1: it makes us happy. And I was like, okay, like

852
00:50:03,520 --> 00:50:07,040
Speaker 1: I'll try, but this is not how it works. I

853
00:50:07,120 --> 00:50:09,040
Speaker 1: usually debate with my dad that you know, I have

854
00:50:09,080 --> 00:50:12,399
Speaker 1: the right to be sad as well, that these are

855
00:50:12,400 --> 00:50:14,560
Speaker 1: all emotions and we need to give ourselves time to

856
00:50:14,600 --> 00:50:19,080
Speaker 1: process that. I found my friends very helpful. So at college,

857
00:50:19,120 --> 00:50:21,680
Speaker 1: all the amazing friends that I had made helped me

858
00:50:21,800 --> 00:50:24,040
Speaker 1: in this time because they were there for me. They

859
00:50:24,040 --> 00:50:28,840
Speaker 1: were not my therapists, but they made sure that I

860
00:50:28,920 --> 00:50:33,000
Speaker 1: like did not feel alone. That you know, they were

861
00:50:33,040 --> 00:50:36,440
Speaker 1: sharing moments with me, taking me to dinner or taking

862
00:50:36,480 --> 00:50:39,319
Speaker 1: me to an event or something like taking me for

863
00:50:39,360 --> 00:50:42,160
Speaker 1: a walk, simple things like that. And then a few

864
00:50:42,200 --> 00:50:45,600
Speaker 1: times they did a sleepover with me because I you know,

865
00:50:45,600 --> 00:50:48,520
Speaker 1: I was struggling. I was struggling to fall asleep, and

866
00:50:48,719 --> 00:50:50,360
Speaker 1: every you know, every day a friend would take a

867
00:50:50,400 --> 00:50:53,000
Speaker 1: turn to a sleepover. You know, the first time that

868
00:50:53,080 --> 00:50:57,400
Speaker 1: I was able to like fall asleep, And yeah, it

869
00:50:57,520 --> 00:50:59,880
Speaker 1: was like my friends who made me feel that getting

870
00:51:00,080 --> 00:51:05,480
Speaker 1: therapy it's okay, Like, don't be disappointed with yourselves that

871
00:51:05,600 --> 00:51:10,640
Speaker 1: somehow you have not lived up to the expectation of,

872
00:51:11,239 --> 00:51:13,040
Speaker 1: you know, being this brave girl who knows an answer

873
00:51:13,040 --> 00:51:16,600
Speaker 1: to everything and she has figured it out. Like it's okay.

874
00:51:16,760 --> 00:51:20,120
Speaker 1: So many people who you might think have got it

875
00:51:20,160 --> 00:51:23,600
Speaker 1: all together are actually getting therapy. And when my friend

876
00:51:23,600 --> 00:51:27,080
Speaker 1: told me that she herself was seeing a therapist, I said, wow,

877
00:51:27,120 --> 00:51:29,480
Speaker 1: like I had no idea. She said, yeah, like you

878
00:51:29,560 --> 00:51:31,919
Speaker 1: may not know what a lot of people are, so

879
00:51:32,600 --> 00:51:35,920
Speaker 1: it's like it's okay. And my therapist told me the

880
00:51:35,960 --> 00:51:39,200
Speaker 1: same thing. So that gave me a sense of relief

881
00:51:39,280 --> 00:51:42,200
Speaker 1: where you just like don't feel alone anymore. And that's why,

882
00:51:42,239 --> 00:51:44,839
Speaker 1: like I'm sharing my story because I'm wondering how many

883
00:51:44,880 --> 00:51:48,319
Speaker 1: people are out there who might feel alone, who may

884
00:51:48,360 --> 00:51:51,040
Speaker 1: not know a way out. I just want to tell

885
00:51:51,080 --> 00:51:53,480
Speaker 1: them that I was in the same place, and I

886
00:51:53,560 --> 00:51:58,440
Speaker 1: wished somebody had told me their story and had told us,

887
00:51:58,480 --> 00:52:00,520
Speaker 1: like it's okay to ask for help, like, you know,

888
00:52:00,560 --> 00:52:03,439
Speaker 1: get therapy, get the support, talk to somebody. I took

889
00:52:03,600 --> 00:52:07,960
Speaker 1: months to actually see a therapist, So I hope that

890
00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:12,560
Speaker 1: when people read my story, they they ask for help.

891
00:52:13,520 --> 00:52:17,840
Speaker 2: Friends is such a kind of through line in your journey,

892
00:52:17,840 --> 00:52:20,440
Speaker 2: as I'm hearing you talk today, like the importance of friends,

893
00:52:21,120 --> 00:52:25,280
Speaker 2: missing friends, making friends. How would you define a good friend?

894
00:52:26,640 --> 00:52:31,680
Speaker 1: I mean, it's like a place where you feel you

895
00:52:31,719 --> 00:52:35,239
Speaker 1: can be yourself. When I am in the company of

896
00:52:35,280 --> 00:52:40,880
Speaker 1: my friends, I don't think about being correct about everything.

897
00:52:40,960 --> 00:52:44,319
Speaker 1: I don't think about am I you know, am I

898
00:52:44,400 --> 00:52:48,239
Speaker 1: saying this thing correctly or not? And you just don't

899
00:52:48,239 --> 00:52:50,200
Speaker 1: think twice. You can be yourself, You can let it

900
00:52:50,239 --> 00:52:54,120
Speaker 1: all out. It is a non judgmental environment that they

901
00:52:54,160 --> 00:52:57,400
Speaker 1: create for you, and especially for people like some of

902
00:52:57,480 --> 00:53:02,359
Speaker 1: us who are exposed to a public life and who

903
00:53:02,400 --> 00:53:06,799
Speaker 1: have a public profile. We have seen how you know,

904
00:53:06,880 --> 00:53:11,759
Speaker 1: we can be criticized or scrutinized for almost anything, and

905
00:53:12,040 --> 00:53:14,520
Speaker 1: we have to somehow to say all the correct things.

906
00:53:15,040 --> 00:53:19,480
Speaker 1: But when you find friends that you trust, who love

907
00:53:19,520 --> 00:53:21,920
Speaker 1: you and support you no matter what, you can be

908
00:53:22,080 --> 00:53:25,200
Speaker 1: yourself with them. So like with my friends, I you know,

909
00:53:25,239 --> 00:53:27,120
Speaker 1: I can be silly, I can be funny, I can

910
00:53:27,160 --> 00:53:31,319
Speaker 1: talk about any topic. I can talk about boys and astrology,

911
00:53:31,520 --> 00:53:34,680
Speaker 1: and you know, we can discuss their their their love

912
00:53:34,760 --> 00:53:38,120
Speaker 1: lives and and in that moment, I just don't feel

913
00:53:38,120 --> 00:53:40,840
Speaker 1: like I have to be somebody or I have to

914
00:53:40,920 --> 00:53:43,239
Speaker 1: like live up to some sort of a profile that

915
00:53:43,280 --> 00:53:47,680
Speaker 1: I have. I feel like I can just simply be myself.

916
00:53:48,719 --> 00:53:50,680
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think that's that's what we're looking for.

917
00:53:51,000 --> 00:53:52,120
Speaker 1: Yeah. Friends are everything.

918
00:53:52,160 --> 00:53:54,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, And as you're finding your way in this book,

919
00:53:54,120 --> 00:53:58,399
Speaker 2: I imagine it becomes harder and harder with people who

920
00:53:58,440 --> 00:54:01,880
Speaker 2: know more about you. If they don't know you, Yes,

921
00:54:02,040 --> 00:54:04,560
Speaker 2: to really break that barrier down. Yeah.

922
00:54:04,600 --> 00:54:08,080
Speaker 1: So I remember the first week of college, I had

923
00:54:08,120 --> 00:54:13,640
Speaker 1: decided that I will say hi to everybody. I you know,

924
00:54:13,800 --> 00:54:16,360
Speaker 1: might be overdoing it, but it's okay. It might feel cringe,

925
00:54:16,719 --> 00:54:19,439
Speaker 1: but go say hello to everybody, because you don't want

926
00:54:19,440 --> 00:54:21,799
Speaker 1: it to be like your school life. You want to

927
00:54:21,800 --> 00:54:25,680
Speaker 1: make as many friends as possible. I remember saying hi

928
00:54:25,880 --> 00:54:29,840
Speaker 1: to Cora, who became like my first friend at college,

929
00:54:30,360 --> 00:54:34,279
Speaker 1: and you know, like sort of when we connected. We

930
00:54:34,280 --> 00:54:36,440
Speaker 1: we were talking about what we were studying and what

931
00:54:36,480 --> 00:54:40,480
Speaker 1: we liked about our subjects, and then we were visiting

932
00:54:40,480 --> 00:54:45,279
Speaker 1: these different exhibitions about different societies and clubs at the

933
00:54:45,440 --> 00:54:50,320
Speaker 1: college fair. So then there was this like Oxford Union

934
00:54:50,320 --> 00:54:54,520
Speaker 1: Fair as well. It's like a famous debating society, and

935
00:54:55,280 --> 00:54:57,880
Speaker 1: you know, I was like hiding this identity of mine,

936
00:54:58,120 --> 00:55:01,080
Speaker 1: of being you know, an activist. So I'm looking at

937
00:55:01,120 --> 00:55:04,040
Speaker 1: the at the poster of the Oxford Union and I

938
00:55:04,080 --> 00:55:07,240
Speaker 1: see all of these famous speakers who have spoken there before,

939
00:55:07,760 --> 00:55:10,719
Speaker 1: and then I see a photo of mine, and I

940
00:55:10,760 --> 00:55:13,359
Speaker 1: was like, oh, you know, why did they put it there?

941
00:55:13,480 --> 00:55:16,799
Speaker 1: Or like how do I hide myself because this is

942
00:55:16,800 --> 00:55:19,920
Speaker 1: like the last thing I want to see. And then

943
00:55:19,960 --> 00:55:23,400
Speaker 1: some people spotted me. They asked for a photo, and

944
00:55:23,520 --> 00:55:25,640
Speaker 1: this friend of mine, like she was just so supportive.

945
00:55:25,719 --> 00:55:29,120
Speaker 1: She took you know, photos of me, you know, with

946
00:55:29,160 --> 00:55:32,560
Speaker 1: the fans, and I was like, oh, like it's over.

947
00:55:32,719 --> 00:55:34,360
Speaker 1: She may never want to talk to me again, like

948
00:55:34,400 --> 00:55:38,160
Speaker 1: the friendship is over. But once that was done, you know,

949
00:55:38,560 --> 00:55:40,400
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm so sorry, I said, you know,

950
00:55:40,920 --> 00:55:43,600
Speaker 1: and she said it's okay, like you know, and we

951
00:55:43,680 --> 00:55:46,520
Speaker 1: just quickly changed our conversation back to okay, like you know,

952
00:55:46,760 --> 00:55:48,960
Speaker 1: what are we going to get for our groceries? Or

953
00:55:49,440 --> 00:55:51,680
Speaker 1: you know, when when is our next essay? And all

954
00:55:51,719 --> 00:55:55,120
Speaker 1: of that. I think with friends like these, you like,

955
00:55:55,280 --> 00:55:57,720
Speaker 1: you know, you can be more yourself.

956
00:56:13,880 --> 00:56:15,440
Speaker 2: When you're writing about in the book it was more

957
00:56:15,440 --> 00:56:19,120
Speaker 2: about school than college, but you became the resident advisor

958
00:56:19,200 --> 00:56:22,200
Speaker 2: on romance. Yes is what you say. And then there's

959
00:56:22,239 --> 00:56:24,960
Speaker 2: this beautiful part where you say, how are you so

960
00:56:25,080 --> 00:56:27,440
Speaker 2: good at spotting red flags when you've never been on

961
00:56:27,480 --> 00:56:29,879
Speaker 2: a date And you say, I guess I'm a better

962
00:56:29,920 --> 00:56:34,600
Speaker 2: coach than a player. You know, talk to me about

963
00:56:34,600 --> 00:56:36,680
Speaker 2: that experience of again, like it goes back to what

964
00:56:36,719 --> 00:56:39,239
Speaker 2: you were saying earlier, like you're trying to live up

965
00:56:39,280 --> 00:56:43,560
Speaker 2: to this symbol you're not binge watching TV shows, you're

966
00:56:43,600 --> 00:56:47,400
Speaker 2: not dating, you're not you know, no, walk me through

967
00:56:47,440 --> 00:56:51,960
Speaker 2: that paradox of being a young woman who's wanting to

968
00:56:51,960 --> 00:56:54,200
Speaker 2: experience the world growing up, but then having to keep

969
00:56:54,280 --> 00:56:58,120
Speaker 2: this reminder almost of who what you stand for.

970
00:56:59,120 --> 00:57:03,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I had become this relationship guru in

971
00:57:03,960 --> 00:57:08,680
Speaker 1: college because everybody was going through some problems with boys.

972
00:57:09,000 --> 00:57:12,080
Speaker 1: You know, you can imagine there are always problems. Somebody

973
00:57:12,239 --> 00:57:14,799
Speaker 1: was getting ghosted or you know, the boy was not

974
00:57:14,880 --> 00:57:17,840
Speaker 1: replying for two days and my friend is like, do

975
00:57:17,880 --> 00:57:20,160
Speaker 1: you think he loves me? And I'm like you missing

976
00:57:20,200 --> 00:57:25,440
Speaker 1: the sign? And you know, I you know, I was

977
00:57:25,520 --> 00:57:27,920
Speaker 1: helping them understand, you know, to some I was saying,

978
00:57:27,960 --> 00:57:31,040
Speaker 1: like you need to move on, like there's more in life.

979
00:57:31,800 --> 00:57:33,640
Speaker 1: And then they were like, how do you know it all?

980
00:57:33,760 --> 00:57:37,120
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't know. Yeah I do sometimes say,

981
00:57:37,200 --> 00:57:40,160
Speaker 1: you know, like a coach doesn't have to be on

982
00:57:40,200 --> 00:57:43,480
Speaker 1: the field, Like I did not expect to have like

983
00:57:43,520 --> 00:57:47,000
Speaker 1: a love story. And even though like just growing up,

984
00:57:47,040 --> 00:57:51,560
Speaker 1: I had seen Bollywood movies and everybody has imagined Sharokhan

985
00:57:51,800 --> 00:57:54,400
Speaker 1: like figure, you know, we all imagine ourselves in the

986
00:57:54,400 --> 00:58:00,200
Speaker 1: Sharokhan songs. But I became very self conscious to the

987
00:58:00,240 --> 00:58:03,040
Speaker 1: attack because my facial nerve was damaged on the left

988
00:58:03,040 --> 00:58:09,160
Speaker 1: side and that caused asymmetry, and you know, like my

989
00:58:09,280 --> 00:58:13,080
Speaker 1: smile and the features were not the same anymore, and

990
00:58:14,360 --> 00:58:17,000
Speaker 1: you know, sort of like you noticed, right, like you

991
00:58:17,040 --> 00:58:19,720
Speaker 1: notice you're not the same person anymore. So I became

992
00:58:20,920 --> 00:58:23,320
Speaker 1: it's more self aware, and I just thought, okay, like

993
00:58:24,480 --> 00:58:26,200
Speaker 1: I you know, I should not like I just thought

994
00:58:26,280 --> 00:58:28,480
Speaker 1: like nobody would love me. And at the same time,

995
00:58:28,520 --> 00:58:30,520
Speaker 1: I was like, but nobody, because you know, we're.

996
00:58:30,280 --> 00:58:30,720
Speaker 2: Like so.

997
00:58:32,680 --> 00:58:34,720
Speaker 1: Hard on ourselves. That were like, you know, but nobody

998
00:58:34,720 --> 00:58:37,480
Speaker 1: should love me, and I just want to focus on

999
00:58:37,760 --> 00:58:40,200
Speaker 1: the work now. This love life is not for me.

1000
00:58:40,760 --> 00:58:44,000
Speaker 1: So that's sort of what I thought. Though in college

1001
00:58:44,080 --> 00:58:47,640
Speaker 1: I did find a crush. He was just like good

1002
00:58:47,680 --> 00:58:50,640
Speaker 1: looking guy, not my husband, A different guy, a good

1003
00:58:50,680 --> 00:58:54,880
Speaker 1: looking guy, a really mysterious character, more like a gangster

1004
00:58:55,040 --> 00:58:57,480
Speaker 1: kind of character. I did not know I was attracted

1005
00:58:57,560 --> 00:59:01,720
Speaker 1: to like the bad voice, and it was more like

1006
00:59:01,760 --> 00:59:04,800
Speaker 1: a one sided love in imagination. It wasn't real because

1007
00:59:04,800 --> 00:59:07,760
Speaker 1: you know, he would just sometimes like say hello to me,

1008
00:59:07,800 --> 00:59:09,760
Speaker 1: come to my room, and eat all the bananas and

1009
00:59:09,920 --> 00:59:13,800
Speaker 1: cookies and then disappear, you know, there was like there

1010
00:59:13,880 --> 00:59:16,439
Speaker 1: was like I just had no idea. My friends would

1011
00:59:16,480 --> 00:59:18,680
Speaker 1: sometimes say that, you know, he's doing drugs and stuff

1012
00:59:18,720 --> 00:59:21,040
Speaker 1: like that, so stay away from him, and I was like, no,

1013
00:59:21,120 --> 00:59:25,840
Speaker 1: he needs my head, like somebody needs to protect him. Yeah,

1014
00:59:25,840 --> 00:59:28,640
Speaker 1: but like when you yourself are in that love phase,

1015
00:59:28,720 --> 00:59:31,000
Speaker 1: then it's you can't see it clearly. It is true,

1016
00:59:31,040 --> 00:59:34,360
Speaker 1: like you know, you just can't see it. But yeah,

1017
00:59:34,360 --> 00:59:36,760
Speaker 1: then that crush ghosted me and that story was over.

1018
00:59:37,160 --> 00:59:39,200
Speaker 1: But I was like, you know, at least I just

1019
00:59:39,280 --> 00:59:43,080
Speaker 1: went through a moment of feeling love and maybe I

1020
00:59:43,120 --> 00:59:48,600
Speaker 1: loved it because I was under this like assumption that

1021
00:59:48,680 --> 00:59:51,080
Speaker 1: you know, I cannot be loved and I will never

1022
00:59:51,160 --> 00:59:53,400
Speaker 1: find somebody. So I said, just why there's no harm

1023
00:59:53,440 --> 00:59:55,320
Speaker 1: in just loving somebody in your imagination?

1024
00:59:56,000 --> 00:59:59,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean that feeling of I won't be loved

1025
00:59:59,240 --> 01:00:02,880
Speaker 2: and maybe it isn't for me, that feels like a

1026
01:00:02,920 --> 01:00:06,280
Speaker 2: really deep kind of emotion that that doesn't just disappear.

1027
01:00:06,960 --> 01:00:11,440
Speaker 2: What worked to help work through that? Like, what really

1028
01:00:11,480 --> 01:00:15,680
Speaker 2: allowed you to work on that, especially when this feeling

1029
01:00:15,760 --> 01:00:19,360
Speaker 2: came from the incident and from being attacked. It didn't

1030
01:00:19,400 --> 01:00:21,800
Speaker 2: come from yourself. You didn't have that before.

1031
01:00:22,480 --> 01:00:25,120
Speaker 1: You know, girls have been sort of told to be

1032
01:00:25,200 --> 01:00:27,920
Speaker 1: insecure about themselves, so I would not say that there

1033
01:00:28,000 --> 01:00:30,760
Speaker 1: was like literally no insecurity before. But after that attack,

1034
01:00:31,200 --> 01:00:35,400
Speaker 1: I became very very insecure about my looks, but so

1035
01:00:35,560 --> 01:00:37,600
Speaker 1: much that I just said, you know what, I don't

1036
01:00:37,600 --> 01:00:41,880
Speaker 1: care about it. When you set a new pathway for

1037
01:00:41,960 --> 01:00:44,000
Speaker 1: yourself and you say, you know what, like love life

1038
01:00:44,160 --> 01:00:47,440
Speaker 1: is not for me, I don't care if nobody loves me,

1039
01:00:47,760 --> 01:00:50,160
Speaker 1: and it just doesn't matter. And I think in the

1040
01:00:50,160 --> 01:00:54,720
Speaker 1: middle of that, I just forgot to love myself. That

1041
01:00:54,840 --> 01:00:58,800
Speaker 1: was the hard part. But when I found this new

1042
01:00:58,960 --> 01:01:01,400
Speaker 1: guy in my life, sir, who's now my husband. So

1043
01:01:01,480 --> 01:01:05,120
Speaker 1: there's there's a good ending to this story, you know.

1044
01:01:05,200 --> 01:01:08,720
Speaker 1: I immediately fell in love with him because he was

1045
01:01:08,800 --> 01:01:13,440
Speaker 1: like so good looking, heart and handsome, funny, here a

1046
01:01:13,480 --> 01:01:15,960
Speaker 1: good sense of humor. He was laughing at my jokes.

1047
01:01:16,000 --> 01:01:19,600
Speaker 1: I thought, he's just so entertaining. I was like, wow,

1048
01:01:19,680 --> 01:01:22,120
Speaker 1: like is he they? Is he like the person that

1049
01:01:22,160 --> 01:01:26,080
Speaker 1: I had sort of imagined, you know, for myself. So

1050
01:01:26,160 --> 01:01:28,280
Speaker 1: when you know, when Asa and I started like talking

1051
01:01:28,320 --> 01:01:30,640
Speaker 1: and we were getting to know each other, I knew

1052
01:01:30,640 --> 01:01:33,280
Speaker 1: that I love him and I wanted to be with him.

1053
01:01:33,560 --> 01:01:35,760
Speaker 1: The marriage was a whole different conversation, so we can

1054
01:01:35,840 --> 01:01:41,400
Speaker 1: come back to that. But the other conversation was about

1055
01:01:41,440 --> 01:01:45,120
Speaker 1: me accepting that he loves me. I was in so

1056
01:01:45,280 --> 01:01:48,960
Speaker 1: much doubt I could not trust it. I you know,

1057
01:01:48,960 --> 01:01:52,320
Speaker 1: I just constantly felt like, you know, but why would

1058
01:01:52,360 --> 01:01:57,360
Speaker 1: he love me? And then like in the end, I

1059
01:01:57,440 --> 01:02:03,640
Speaker 1: just told myself that, you know, somebody can't write a

1060
01:02:03,760 --> 01:02:06,600
Speaker 1: proof to you to say, hey, I give you a

1061
01:02:06,600 --> 01:02:10,320
Speaker 1: proof that I love you. If they are treating you

1062
01:02:10,400 --> 01:02:14,080
Speaker 1: with respect and they make you happy and they're there

1063
01:02:14,120 --> 01:02:16,160
Speaker 1: for you and they want to spend the rest of

1064
01:02:16,200 --> 01:02:20,560
Speaker 1: their life with you, then they love you and embrace that.

1065
01:02:20,720 --> 01:02:24,480
Speaker 1: Accept that, like, don't question it, don't doubt it. You

1066
01:02:24,520 --> 01:02:28,040
Speaker 1: can't give them any guarantee. They can't give you any guarantee.

1067
01:02:28,560 --> 01:02:31,280
Speaker 1: So I had to like process that. It was really hard,

1068
01:02:31,760 --> 01:02:34,440
Speaker 1: but in the end I accepted it because I constantly

1069
01:02:34,440 --> 01:02:36,720
Speaker 1: would have these questions in my head, but like, are

1070
01:02:36,720 --> 01:02:38,320
Speaker 1: you okay with like the way I look at it?

1071
01:02:38,360 --> 01:02:42,840
Speaker 1: Okay if I can't have like a full smile, and

1072
01:02:43,080 --> 01:02:44,720
Speaker 1: are you okay with like sort of the left side

1073
01:02:44,760 --> 01:02:47,800
Speaker 1: of my face and all of that. Like sometimes I

1074
01:02:47,800 --> 01:02:50,400
Speaker 1: would try to ask him this question, and sometimes these

1075
01:02:50,480 --> 01:02:53,400
Speaker 1: questions would be floating in my mind and then I

1076
01:02:53,400 --> 01:02:56,640
Speaker 1: would just remind myself, like, he's here with you. He's

1077
01:02:56,640 --> 01:02:58,840
Speaker 1: looking at you, and he's smiling, like he can't stop

1078
01:02:58,880 --> 01:03:02,640
Speaker 1: looking at you. He's calling you gorgeous and beautiful. So

1079
01:03:03,240 --> 01:03:09,840
Speaker 1: accept that embrace that user loved me, and he you know,

1080
01:03:10,320 --> 01:03:13,680
Speaker 1: with him like I have felt this immense love and joy,

1081
01:03:14,440 --> 01:03:16,640
Speaker 1: So he loves me. But more than that, I think

1082
01:03:16,680 --> 01:03:18,080
Speaker 1: I started loving myself.

1083
01:03:18,960 --> 01:03:21,080
Speaker 2: Wow. I love hearing that. Thank you for sharing that,

1084
01:03:21,120 --> 01:03:24,160
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for taking us there. And yes,

1085
01:03:24,920 --> 01:03:28,880
Speaker 2: the multitude of emotions that every person goes through and

1086
01:03:28,920 --> 01:03:31,760
Speaker 2: definitely what women go through. But then to add your

1087
01:03:31,800 --> 01:03:35,200
Speaker 2: own experience to as well, what was Usro's background like

1088
01:03:35,280 --> 01:03:38,680
Speaker 2: when it comes to women's rights and education and you know,

1089
01:03:39,200 --> 01:03:41,120
Speaker 2: how did he what was his viewpoint on that? Of

1090
01:03:41,120 --> 01:03:43,920
Speaker 2: course I assume yes it's supportive, but I'd love to

1091
01:03:43,960 --> 01:03:46,480
Speaker 2: know what his journey was and his experience if that

1092
01:03:46,720 --> 01:03:47,520
Speaker 2: was Yeah.

1093
01:03:47,560 --> 01:03:50,080
Speaker 1: I mean, he has two older sisters who are like

1094
01:03:50,120 --> 01:03:54,320
Speaker 1: eighteen and sixteen years older than him, and so he

1095
01:03:54,440 --> 01:03:58,000
Speaker 1: usually says that he grew up with three moms. He

1096
01:03:58,080 --> 01:04:01,920
Speaker 1: wasn't as close to his dad. He has like the

1097
01:04:02,040 --> 01:04:05,280
Speaker 1: right views. I know, sometimes men receive a lot of

1098
01:04:05,360 --> 01:04:09,000
Speaker 1: praise when they're saying the right thing. We're like, wow,

1099
01:04:09,040 --> 01:04:12,400
Speaker 1: this man is so nice because he believes women should

1100
01:04:12,480 --> 01:04:16,680
Speaker 1: be allowed to work, or yeah, like women should be

1101
01:04:16,760 --> 01:04:19,680
Speaker 1: making decisions about their bodies and about their career anything,

1102
01:04:20,520 --> 01:04:23,080
Speaker 1: like wow, he's such a nice man. So yes, I

1103
01:04:23,080 --> 01:04:26,240
Speaker 1: do sometimes say that he is an amazing person, like

1104
01:04:26,640 --> 01:04:31,880
Speaker 1: so open minded and like he just respects women's dignity

1105
01:04:32,040 --> 01:04:35,480
Speaker 1: and and see and see them as like equal humans

1106
01:04:35,520 --> 01:04:37,280
Speaker 1: and which is which should be the case. But then

1107
01:04:37,280 --> 01:04:40,080
Speaker 1: at the same time, I'm like, that should be called

1108
01:04:40,160 --> 01:04:43,160
Speaker 1: a basic man. It's a basic normal man.

1109
01:04:43,240 --> 01:04:46,840
Speaker 2: It's so true. It's really hard to process. It's such

1110
01:04:46,880 --> 01:04:47,439
Speaker 2: a great way.

1111
01:04:47,680 --> 01:04:49,800
Speaker 1: And I've been praising my dad so much for being

1112
01:04:49,880 --> 01:04:53,240
Speaker 1: like this amazing feminist dad. That should be a basic

1113
01:04:53,320 --> 01:04:53,919
Speaker 1: normal dad.

1114
01:04:54,080 --> 01:04:58,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, well said absolutely brilliant. It's a basic man

1115
01:04:58,760 --> 01:05:01,360
Speaker 2: and a basic dad. That's what we're trying to aspire for,

1116
01:05:01,520 --> 01:05:04,120
Speaker 2: right exactly. No, it's true, you're you can you can

1117
01:05:04,200 --> 01:05:06,880
Speaker 2: have said it better. It's it's not an achievement to

1118
01:05:06,960 --> 01:05:10,880
Speaker 2: think we should have equal rights and equal opportunities and

1119
01:05:11,520 --> 01:05:15,160
Speaker 2: equal Yeah, there's no there's no greatness in that it's obvious.

1120
01:05:15,520 --> 01:05:18,440
Speaker 2: It's really really obvious, makes a lot of sense. Was

1121
01:05:18,480 --> 01:05:21,480
Speaker 2: it was it hard for you to fall in love

1122
01:05:21,760 --> 01:05:24,720
Speaker 2: and date and build a relationship with the expectations that

1123
01:05:24,760 --> 01:05:28,400
Speaker 2: come from you know, your home, that come from culture,

1124
01:05:28,400 --> 01:05:30,840
Speaker 2: that come from family. Like of course you've talked about

1125
01:05:30,880 --> 01:05:32,920
Speaker 2: your father being more forward thinking when it comes to

1126
01:05:32,920 --> 01:05:36,240
Speaker 2: women's education. But I feel like dating, love, romance, these

1127
01:05:36,240 --> 01:05:40,640
Speaker 2: are not easy topics in a South Asian home.

1128
01:05:40,840 --> 01:05:43,840
Speaker 1: All of these things were on my mind, but I

1129
01:05:43,840 --> 01:05:48,760
Speaker 1: think the one thing that sort of held me back

1130
01:05:49,000 --> 01:05:52,280
Speaker 1: was marriage because you know, like I had to then

1131
01:05:53,960 --> 01:05:57,760
Speaker 1: understand that, like in reality, if I want to be

1132
01:05:57,880 --> 01:06:01,080
Speaker 1: with us or we have to get married, because culturally,

1133
01:06:01,520 --> 01:06:04,760
Speaker 1: you cannot be with a person, you know, you have

1134
01:06:04,840 --> 01:06:08,120
Speaker 1: to like get married to live with them. So I

1135
01:06:08,200 --> 01:06:10,440
Speaker 1: knew that, you know, I cannot sort of like change

1136
01:06:10,440 --> 01:06:13,920
Speaker 1: that whole culture all of a sudden. And at the

1137
01:06:13,960 --> 01:06:17,720
Speaker 1: same time, like I said, you know, like I have

1138
01:06:17,880 --> 01:06:24,320
Speaker 1: seen how marriage has changed the future of so many

1139
01:06:24,320 --> 01:06:27,640
Speaker 1: girls who were forced into it. I you know, we

1140
01:06:27,680 --> 01:06:30,320
Speaker 1: know that tens of millions of girls every year are

1141
01:06:30,480 --> 01:06:34,680
Speaker 1: married off before the age of eighteen, and this is

1142
01:06:34,840 --> 01:06:38,960
Speaker 1: you know, this has been an institution that has given

1143
01:06:39,080 --> 01:06:43,760
Speaker 1: less to women through history and across the globe. So

1144
01:06:44,440 --> 01:06:47,440
Speaker 1: it wasn't that I was against marriage or for marriage

1145
01:06:47,680 --> 01:06:49,800
Speaker 1: or any of that, but I was just like confused.

1146
01:06:49,840 --> 01:06:52,240
Speaker 1: I said, like, okay, like this, this is not an

1147
01:06:52,240 --> 01:06:55,880
Speaker 1: easy decision. And I felt that I was thinking collectively

1148
01:06:56,080 --> 01:06:59,920
Speaker 1: for all women when I was considering marriage for myself.

1149
01:07:00,200 --> 01:07:02,000
Speaker 1: So like, on the one hand, I just wanted to

1150
01:07:02,040 --> 01:07:04,480
Speaker 1: be with us, sir, I said, like, there's no doubt

1151
01:07:04,520 --> 01:07:07,960
Speaker 1: about that, But at the same time, I also was

1152
01:07:08,040 --> 01:07:11,400
Speaker 1: grappling with this idea of marriage. In the end, I

1153
01:07:11,480 --> 01:07:14,400
Speaker 1: you know, I did all of my like research, and

1154
01:07:14,440 --> 01:07:16,440
Speaker 1: I chatted with my friends and we were like reading

1155
01:07:16,440 --> 01:07:20,400
Speaker 1: books by famous feminist authors and all of that. But

1156
01:07:21,200 --> 01:07:24,440
Speaker 1: I said to User that you know, it's it's about

1157
01:07:24,440 --> 01:07:29,000
Speaker 1: this like mutual agreement between us. And the more we talked,

1158
01:07:29,040 --> 01:07:31,000
Speaker 1: the more sort of I spent time with him. I

1159
01:07:31,040 --> 01:07:34,520
Speaker 1: just understood who he was as a person and how

1160
01:07:34,880 --> 01:07:38,680
Speaker 1: he would be like a great supportive husband, and I

1161
01:07:39,120 --> 01:07:43,160
Speaker 1: just saw how I enjoyed my time in his company,

1162
01:07:43,760 --> 01:07:47,640
Speaker 1: that when I was with him, all these questions that

1163
01:07:47,640 --> 01:07:51,200
Speaker 1: would be floating in my mind would just vanish. And

1164
01:07:51,280 --> 01:07:53,600
Speaker 1: I remember we went to Lake Placid, And this was

1165
01:07:53,640 --> 01:07:55,840
Speaker 1: a few months before marriage. While I was still thinking,

1166
01:07:55,840 --> 01:07:57,840
Speaker 1: I said, maybe it's like over, maybe like I'll ask

1167
01:07:57,880 --> 01:08:00,840
Speaker 1: him all the questions and he'll answer one incorrectly and

1168
01:08:01,280 --> 01:08:05,960
Speaker 1: it's done. But the more time we spent together, sort

1169
01:08:05,960 --> 01:08:09,640
Speaker 1: of I was getting those answers without even asking those questions.

1170
01:08:09,680 --> 01:08:12,920
Speaker 1: So on the last day in Lake Placid, he said, so,

1171
01:08:12,960 --> 01:08:14,840
Speaker 1: you know, are you gonna ask me the questions finally

1172
01:08:14,920 --> 01:08:18,639
Speaker 1: or not? And I said, I think I have the answer,

1173
01:08:19,320 --> 01:08:22,680
Speaker 1: and I said I'm ready. I think I'm ready to

1174
01:08:22,720 --> 01:08:25,040
Speaker 1: be with you for the rest of my life. So then,

1175
01:08:25,200 --> 01:08:27,839
Speaker 1: you know, a few months later, we finally got married.

1176
01:08:28,600 --> 01:08:32,880
Speaker 1: And I still say that I am not proposing that

1177
01:08:33,040 --> 01:08:36,080
Speaker 1: marriage is the best decision for every woman out there.

1178
01:08:36,200 --> 01:08:38,280
Speaker 1: I'm not saying it's the worst decision for every woman

1179
01:08:38,320 --> 01:08:41,880
Speaker 1: out there. I think it should be a conversation that

1180
01:08:41,920 --> 01:08:46,240
Speaker 1: we should be having openly, and you know, we should

1181
01:08:46,280 --> 01:08:51,400
Speaker 1: redefine these traditions, these norms, and talk about how it

1182
01:08:51,439 --> 01:08:56,400
Speaker 1: can be this beautiful mutual agreement between two people where

1183
01:08:56,439 --> 01:09:00,000
Speaker 1: they add more to their lives and make each other's

1184
01:09:00,080 --> 01:09:05,800
Speaker 1: life happier, more joyful, more adventurous, and that we challenge,

1185
01:09:06,400 --> 01:09:10,320
Speaker 1: you know, the elements of it that have given less

1186
01:09:10,320 --> 01:09:14,200
Speaker 1: to women, and you know and talk about the bigger problems.

1187
01:09:14,760 --> 01:09:18,280
Speaker 2: Absolutely, And the book you wrote, how to choose between

1188
01:09:18,320 --> 01:09:21,519
Speaker 2: an institution I didn't believe in, yes, and a life

1189
01:09:21,640 --> 01:09:25,920
Speaker 2: without the person I loved. And it's really interesting to

1190
01:09:25,920 --> 01:09:27,880
Speaker 2: hear you make sense of it. And again, it sounds

1191
01:09:27,920 --> 01:09:31,800
Speaker 2: like it was such an intentional decision and there was

1192
01:09:31,840 --> 01:09:37,680
Speaker 2: so much thought behind why and what and how. And

1193
01:09:37,720 --> 01:09:40,000
Speaker 2: I think that, yeah, I agree with you, no matter

1194
01:09:40,320 --> 01:09:42,240
Speaker 2: whether someone decides to choose to get married or not.

1195
01:09:42,320 --> 01:09:45,440
Speaker 2: I think that level of thought, yes, is just inherently

1196
01:09:45,479 --> 01:09:46,800
Speaker 2: important and necessary.

1197
01:09:47,160 --> 01:09:49,679
Speaker 1: But because I just thought I would never get married,

1198
01:09:50,560 --> 01:09:53,719
Speaker 1: I would tell all my college friends, do not get married,

1199
01:09:54,960 --> 01:09:57,840
Speaker 1: stay away from boys. It's just a waste of time

1200
01:09:57,880 --> 01:10:00,719
Speaker 1: and all of that. So I was like strongly against

1201
01:10:00,760 --> 01:10:04,320
Speaker 1: marriage for a long time, and then I fell in

1202
01:10:04,360 --> 01:10:06,559
Speaker 1: love and I was the first one in my friends

1203
01:10:06,640 --> 01:10:13,360
Speaker 1: group to get married. They were rolling their eyes. They're like, seriously, seriously,

1204
01:10:13,520 --> 01:10:16,559
Speaker 1: that's what you were advocating against. I was like oop. See.

1205
01:10:17,360 --> 01:10:19,400
Speaker 1: I was like, you know, you should never listen to

1206
01:10:19,560 --> 01:10:21,759
Speaker 1: a person, you know, if they randomly give you advice.

1207
01:10:21,800 --> 01:10:24,920
Speaker 1: I said, I'm an education activist, like, listen to me

1208
01:10:25,040 --> 01:10:27,839
Speaker 1: on that. Don't consider me an expert on every topic,

1209
01:10:27,960 --> 01:10:28,920
Speaker 1: especially marriage.

1210
01:10:29,040 --> 01:10:33,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely absolutely. How do you when you look at

1211
01:10:34,200 --> 01:10:37,280
Speaker 2: just how your life has changed, how the world has changed,

1212
01:10:38,000 --> 01:10:41,320
Speaker 2: When you observe what's happening in the world today, what

1213
01:10:41,400 --> 01:10:44,439
Speaker 2: do you focus on? What are you reflecting on, what

1214
01:10:44,479 --> 01:10:45,840
Speaker 2: are you aware of?

1215
01:10:46,280 --> 01:10:51,040
Speaker 1: I think the world is constantly changing, but right now

1216
01:10:51,080 --> 01:10:56,520
Speaker 1: it feels that it is becoming more and more difficult

1217
01:10:56,760 --> 01:11:00,920
Speaker 1: for women and girls. And I'm saying because of what

1218
01:11:01,000 --> 01:11:05,120
Speaker 1: we are witnessing right now happening in Afghanistan. For the

1219
01:11:05,160 --> 01:11:08,920
Speaker 1: past four years, the Taliban have limited women and girls

1220
01:11:08,960 --> 01:11:14,000
Speaker 1: from education, work, and any public and political life. The

1221
01:11:14,200 --> 01:11:17,360
Speaker 1: Afghan women activists and different human rights groups are calling

1222
01:11:17,360 --> 01:11:20,240
Speaker 1: it a gender apartheid, which means that it is a

1223
01:11:20,280 --> 01:11:23,519
Speaker 1: form of an apartheid or a systematic oppression simply based

1224
01:11:23,560 --> 01:11:26,439
Speaker 1: on gender. That if you are born a girl, you

1225
01:11:26,520 --> 01:11:29,080
Speaker 1: have a different life. You cannot even dream to be

1226
01:11:29,680 --> 01:11:35,120
Speaker 1: in school or to work. So like, when I just

1227
01:11:35,240 --> 01:11:39,519
Speaker 1: think about what's happening with girls education, how there is

1228
01:11:39,560 --> 01:11:43,160
Speaker 1: a country where girls are banned from education and at

1229
01:11:43,160 --> 01:11:46,480
Speaker 1: the same time there are conflicts, wars, and a genocide

1230
01:11:46,520 --> 01:11:52,960
Speaker 1: happening where schools are bombed, where children are attacked, and

1231
01:11:53,040 --> 01:11:55,679
Speaker 1: children are losing their future, like you know, from Sudan,

1232
01:11:55,760 --> 01:11:58,519
Speaker 1: Congo all the way to Palestine, like what we have

1233
01:11:58,600 --> 01:12:02,840
Speaker 1: witness happening in Gaza, like right in front of our eyes,

1234
01:12:02,840 --> 01:12:08,519
Speaker 1: on our screens. It's it's like, it's terrifying. I just

1235
01:12:08,560 --> 01:12:13,360
Speaker 1: simply wish for a future for girls where they can

1236
01:12:13,439 --> 01:12:19,000
Speaker 1: live a dignified life with full access to education. And

1237
01:12:19,120 --> 01:12:21,840
Speaker 1: we know that that cannot happen if we do not

1238
01:12:22,080 --> 01:12:26,240
Speaker 1: address the problems or the injustices that are happening right

1239
01:12:26,280 --> 01:12:28,360
Speaker 1: in front of our eyes. So these topics, you know,

1240
01:12:28,439 --> 01:12:31,559
Speaker 1: whether it's about the wars and conflicts, or whether it's

1241
01:12:31,560 --> 01:12:35,600
Speaker 1: about like climate related events like floods or other injustices,

1242
01:12:36,040 --> 01:12:39,400
Speaker 1: we cannot separate them from how it's affecting gulls education.

1243
01:12:39,800 --> 01:12:42,639
Speaker 1: And at the same time, like you know, we can,

1244
01:12:42,720 --> 01:12:45,679
Speaker 1: we can, we can think differently. We can think about

1245
01:12:45,680 --> 01:12:49,160
Speaker 1: investing in the future of girls. We can think about

1246
01:12:49,160 --> 01:12:53,280
Speaker 1: investing in education or focusing on children as a way

1247
01:12:53,320 --> 01:12:56,320
Speaker 1: to help us address these problems as well. So education

1248
01:12:56,479 --> 01:12:58,920
Speaker 1: is like one of the most powerful and like best

1249
01:12:58,920 --> 01:13:03,960
Speaker 1: solutions to a lot of the world inequalities injustices. So

1250
01:13:04,240 --> 01:13:06,439
Speaker 1: that's you know, that's something that I advocate for. That's

1251
01:13:06,479 --> 01:13:09,760
Speaker 1: the focus of my work. So these are like the

1252
01:13:09,800 --> 01:13:10,840
Speaker 1: issues that I focus on.

1253
01:13:11,080 --> 01:13:14,840
Speaker 2: What are you seeing that's actually making a change in

1254
01:13:14,920 --> 01:13:18,120
Speaker 2: places where women and young girls have been held back? Yeah,

1255
01:13:18,280 --> 01:13:20,720
Speaker 2: what are you actually seeing is moving the needle and

1256
01:13:20,760 --> 01:13:22,360
Speaker 2: creating the shifts that you're wanting.

1257
01:13:22,960 --> 01:13:27,320
Speaker 1: It is the local activists who are driving real change

1258
01:13:27,320 --> 01:13:31,040
Speaker 1: on the ground. My father and I started as local

1259
01:13:31,200 --> 01:13:35,519
Speaker 1: education activists in Swat Valley. I thought like nobody knew

1260
01:13:35,560 --> 01:13:37,960
Speaker 1: what we were going through more than us. And I

1261
01:13:38,000 --> 01:13:42,000
Speaker 1: feel the same about all of these other pressing problems

1262
01:13:42,000 --> 01:13:44,680
Speaker 1: that we hear about in the world. You know, if

1263
01:13:44,680 --> 01:13:47,160
Speaker 1: we're talking about Afghanistan, if you're talking about Gaza, if

1264
01:13:47,160 --> 01:13:50,280
Speaker 1: you're talking about Nigeria, if you're talking about guls' education

1265
01:13:50,439 --> 01:13:55,920
Speaker 1: challenges in Pakistan or other countries, we have to work

1266
01:13:55,960 --> 01:14:00,280
Speaker 1: together with the local activists because they understand and the

1267
01:14:00,320 --> 01:14:03,919
Speaker 1: problems and they understand the best solutions to those problems

1268
01:14:03,920 --> 01:14:07,000
Speaker 1: as well. So, you know, when I started my foundation,

1269
01:14:07,080 --> 01:14:09,400
Speaker 1: Malala Fund, like you know, I was ambitious to like

1270
01:14:09,479 --> 01:14:12,280
Speaker 1: make change happen everywhere, but I had to really question myself,

1271
01:14:12,800 --> 01:14:16,320
Speaker 1: what can help us make real change. I you know,

1272
01:14:16,360 --> 01:14:18,960
Speaker 1: I have given many speeches and received many awards and

1273
01:14:19,000 --> 01:14:20,680
Speaker 1: all of that. I can tell you that it's not

1274
01:14:20,800 --> 01:14:23,600
Speaker 1: about one speech, even though like in history, we are

1275
01:14:23,680 --> 01:14:26,080
Speaker 1: sort of taught like it was that one speech of

1276
01:14:26,160 --> 01:14:28,400
Speaker 1: I have a dream that changed everything. No, I think

1277
01:14:28,439 --> 01:14:34,640
Speaker 1: it's it's decades long work to shift narrative, to change policies,

1278
01:14:35,120 --> 01:14:39,840
Speaker 1: to change the law. That is real change. And yes,

1279
01:14:39,960 --> 01:14:43,439
Speaker 1: everything like adds up. You know, we cannot say that,

1280
01:14:43,560 --> 01:14:46,479
Speaker 1: you know, one action is completely useless. It adds up.

1281
01:14:46,520 --> 01:14:48,840
Speaker 1: But we have to have a bigger picture. So through

1282
01:14:48,840 --> 01:14:53,360
Speaker 1: Malala Fund, we are investing in local education activists in Nigeria,

1283
01:14:53,439 --> 01:14:56,719
Speaker 1: in Pakistan. We're also working in Ethiopia, Tanzania and Brazil,

1284
01:14:57,080 --> 01:15:00,360
Speaker 1: and then Afghanistan is our priority country because of the

1285
01:15:00,400 --> 01:15:04,680
Speaker 1: literal ban on girls education. We are providing support to

1286
01:15:04,720 --> 01:15:09,680
Speaker 1: the local education activists who are giving alternative education to

1287
01:15:09,720 --> 01:15:13,200
Speaker 1: girls right now. You know, we're thinking about ways to

1288
01:15:13,439 --> 01:15:17,120
Speaker 1: help take education to the homes of girls when the

1289
01:15:17,160 --> 01:15:19,599
Speaker 1: Taliban are not allowing them to be in school. This

1290
01:15:19,760 --> 01:15:23,599
Speaker 1: is like our short term response. But we cannot you know,

1291
01:15:23,720 --> 01:15:28,920
Speaker 1: see this as normal girls should be allowed to be

1292
01:15:28,960 --> 01:15:33,120
Speaker 1: in school. So we are also supporting the Afghan women

1293
01:15:33,200 --> 01:15:38,160
Speaker 1: activists who are doing advocacy leading these campaigns, asking leaders

1294
01:15:38,200 --> 01:15:41,320
Speaker 1: to hold the Taliban accountable, and they're asking leaders to

1295
01:15:41,360 --> 01:15:44,800
Speaker 1: codify gender apartheid, to recognize what's happening in Afghanistan as

1296
01:15:44,800 --> 01:15:47,840
Speaker 1: a gender apartheid, to put more pressure on the Taliban,

1297
01:15:47,920 --> 01:15:51,120
Speaker 1: to include women in the rooms where decisions about their

1298
01:15:51,160 --> 01:15:53,679
Speaker 1: future are made, to put women's rights on the agenda,

1299
01:15:54,320 --> 01:16:00,240
Speaker 1: and to change the reality that women and girls in

1300
01:16:00,280 --> 01:16:03,280
Speaker 1: Afghanistan are living under. Like for me, if you ask me,

1301
01:16:04,160 --> 01:16:07,360
Speaker 1: are we doing enough or not? For me? Like the

1302
01:16:07,439 --> 01:16:10,479
Speaker 1: response is like, yes, we're doing something, But I think

1303
01:16:10,520 --> 01:16:12,519
Speaker 1: about the girls who are out of school right now.

1304
01:16:12,640 --> 01:16:15,040
Speaker 1: For as long as the band continues and girls are

1305
01:16:15,080 --> 01:16:17,240
Speaker 1: not in school, I don't think we're doing enough. So

1306
01:16:17,280 --> 01:16:21,000
Speaker 1: we constantly need to be doing more whatever is in

1307
01:16:21,040 --> 01:16:24,720
Speaker 1: our capacity to help Afghan women and girls have the

1308
01:16:24,760 --> 01:16:28,800
Speaker 1: future that they deserve. So supporting local education activists is

1309
01:16:28,800 --> 01:16:31,639
Speaker 1: the most powerful way to drive real change.

1310
01:16:31,840 --> 01:16:34,080
Speaker 2: That's really helpful because I think so many people want

1311
01:16:34,080 --> 01:16:35,640
Speaker 2: to help and they don't know where to start or

1312
01:16:36,040 --> 01:16:37,800
Speaker 2: what the right thing to do is. And to hear

1313
01:16:37,840 --> 01:16:39,920
Speaker 2: that from you, I think we'll give a lot of

1314
01:16:39,920 --> 01:16:42,840
Speaker 2: people here the opportunity. A lot of our listeners are

1315
01:16:42,840 --> 01:16:45,120
Speaker 2: people who want to serve, who want to support, who

1316
01:16:45,200 --> 01:16:50,040
Speaker 2: want to help from across the world. And I guess

1317
01:16:50,200 --> 01:16:52,599
Speaker 2: the Malala Fund and some of these places that you're

1318
01:16:52,640 --> 01:16:54,960
Speaker 2: supporting would be great places to be able to contribute.

1319
01:16:55,080 --> 01:16:57,439
Speaker 1: This is the model of Malala Fund is like the

1320
01:16:57,479 --> 01:17:01,720
Speaker 1: fundraising we do, we allocate that money into grants into

1321
01:17:01,760 --> 01:17:04,200
Speaker 1: these local organizations who are working in all of the

1322
01:17:04,240 --> 01:17:08,400
Speaker 1: countries that I mentioned, like Nigeria, Pakistan, Afghanistan, and I

1323
01:17:08,439 --> 01:17:11,479
Speaker 1: have visited the work of these organizations like I was

1324
01:17:11,520 --> 01:17:16,360
Speaker 1: in Nigeria, and these activists are just incredible people. Some

1325
01:17:16,400 --> 01:17:21,000
Speaker 1: of them have worked for decades. They have changed policies

1326
01:17:21,240 --> 01:17:26,280
Speaker 1: in multiple states. Like five years ago, you know, a

1327
01:17:26,360 --> 01:17:31,960
Speaker 1: girl was not guaranteed education beyond her primary level and

1328
01:17:32,040 --> 01:17:35,759
Speaker 1: today you know she's guaranteed her secondary education. It's because

1329
01:17:35,760 --> 01:17:38,320
Speaker 1: of the work of these activists. So they do an

1330
01:17:38,360 --> 01:17:41,080
Speaker 1: incredible work. They have changed the lives of so many girls,

1331
01:17:41,160 --> 01:17:45,200
Speaker 1: empowered them. And when I meet the girls, like you

1332
01:17:45,240 --> 01:17:47,400
Speaker 1: can see the change happen like right in front of

1333
01:17:47,439 --> 01:17:50,400
Speaker 1: your eyes. So it's like they're truly inspiring. And I

1334
01:17:50,800 --> 01:17:55,800
Speaker 1: actually focus on supporting young women and gul activists. So

1335
01:17:55,840 --> 01:17:58,120
Speaker 1: when we talk about activists, I'm like, we have to

1336
01:17:59,200 --> 01:18:01,320
Speaker 1: support the girls because they're the ones who are actually

1337
01:18:01,520 --> 01:18:05,880
Speaker 1: experiencing these problems and these challenges, and they can be

1338
01:18:06,040 --> 01:18:11,080
Speaker 1: the best ones to actually advocate for their rights. So

1339
01:18:11,600 --> 01:18:14,400
Speaker 1: I also focus on like giving grants and support to

1340
01:18:14,439 --> 01:18:15,480
Speaker 1: the girls activists.

1341
01:18:16,240 --> 01:18:18,800
Speaker 2: That's incredible, Thank you for sharing that. And I really

1342
01:18:18,800 --> 01:18:21,760
Speaker 2: hope that if I can be useful at all or

1343
01:18:21,760 --> 01:18:24,400
Speaker 2: of service, then please let me know. I'd love to involved.

1344
01:18:24,439 --> 01:18:27,840
Speaker 2: It's such a I have a younger sister. Yeah, I

1345
01:18:27,880 --> 01:18:29,680
Speaker 2: feel like that I was raised by my mum and

1346
01:18:29,960 --> 01:18:31,680
Speaker 2: took care of my younger sister, so I feel like

1347
01:18:32,320 --> 01:18:35,880
Speaker 2: I've always grown up with that understanding and at least

1348
01:18:35,880 --> 01:18:40,280
Speaker 2: a at least a feeling of that. And having grown

1349
01:18:40,360 --> 01:18:42,680
Speaker 2: up in London, of course it was somewhat easier, but

1350
01:18:43,400 --> 01:18:46,759
Speaker 2: at the same time you still see the discrepancies that exist.

1351
01:18:46,840 --> 01:18:49,280
Speaker 2: And so yeah, if I can be useful, please let

1352
01:18:49,280 --> 01:18:51,839
Speaker 2: me know. As I've been listening to you today, Malala,

1353
01:18:51,880 --> 01:18:55,400
Speaker 2: I've been wondering, now, when you look back at the

1354
01:18:56,280 --> 01:18:59,120
Speaker 2: attack and you look back on that moment, how do

1355
01:18:59,200 --> 01:19:03,120
Speaker 2: you process it after the therapy, after the years away

1356
01:19:03,160 --> 01:19:06,200
Speaker 2: after the seven years when it came back, Like, how

1357
01:19:06,200 --> 01:19:10,680
Speaker 2: do you view that day and event now after all

1358
01:19:10,680 --> 01:19:11,280
Speaker 2: this time.

1359
01:19:11,680 --> 01:19:14,960
Speaker 1: Funny enough, today is the ninth of October while we

1360
01:19:14,960 --> 01:19:17,960
Speaker 1: are recording it, and this is the date when the

1361
01:19:18,560 --> 01:19:23,800
Speaker 1: attack happened. So it's been thirteen years, do you know.

1362
01:19:23,880 --> 01:19:26,720
Speaker 1: I live it as a normal day. I do not

1363
01:19:26,920 --> 01:19:31,200
Speaker 1: want to think about it. It is really hard to

1364
01:19:33,280 --> 01:19:36,360
Speaker 1: process this day because somehow this day is about the

1365
01:19:36,360 --> 01:19:40,120
Speaker 1: gunman who attacked me. And that's why, like I just

1366
01:19:40,400 --> 01:19:43,920
Speaker 1: I want to go. I want to stay, to go

1367
01:19:43,960 --> 01:19:46,600
Speaker 1: as fast as it can, because I just do not

1368
01:19:46,760 --> 01:19:51,759
Speaker 1: want to think about you know how you know a person,

1369
01:19:51,800 --> 01:19:54,920
Speaker 1: a gunman could decide to target a fifteen year old girl.

1370
01:19:55,560 --> 01:19:59,120
Speaker 1: It's really hard. It's not just about like what I experienced,

1371
01:19:59,120 --> 01:20:02,160
Speaker 1: but it puts you in a place where you feel

1372
01:20:02,400 --> 01:20:07,280
Speaker 1: less hope for humanity. But in moments like these, I

1373
01:20:07,360 --> 01:20:09,360
Speaker 1: just try to live this day as normal as I

1374
01:20:09,400 --> 01:20:12,639
Speaker 1: can and not think about it. And I just remind

1375
01:20:12,680 --> 01:20:16,960
Speaker 1: myself of the millions of people who stood with me

1376
01:20:17,120 --> 01:20:20,960
Speaker 1: and supported me. I think about the immense love that

1377
01:20:21,040 --> 01:20:25,320
Speaker 1: I have received. I just think about the incredible activists

1378
01:20:25,320 --> 01:20:28,880
Speaker 1: who have joined hands with me to help create a

1379
01:20:28,880 --> 01:20:31,400
Speaker 1: better future for guls. I just think about the collective

1380
01:20:31,439 --> 01:20:35,559
Speaker 1: work that we're all doing. So, you know, I just

1381
01:20:36,439 --> 01:20:41,880
Speaker 1: reflect on how we can create a world where no

1382
01:20:42,040 --> 01:20:45,439
Speaker 1: other child faces a bullet, how we can create a

1383
01:20:45,479 --> 01:20:50,360
Speaker 1: world where every child can have the right to be

1384
01:20:50,439 --> 01:20:55,760
Speaker 1: in school and play and read and learn and have

1385
01:20:55,840 --> 01:21:00,760
Speaker 1: a normal childhood. So it's just a reminder of of

1386
01:21:01,560 --> 01:21:04,559
Speaker 1: this commitment to creating a better future for for every

1387
01:21:04,600 --> 01:21:08,240
Speaker 1: girl and every child out there. So that's that's what

1388
01:21:08,280 --> 01:21:08,960
Speaker 1: I focus on.

1389
01:21:09,280 --> 01:21:13,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, I really appreciate how human and true that answer is,

1390
01:21:14,720 --> 01:21:19,280
Speaker 2: because I think often we we externally we project a

1391
01:21:19,360 --> 01:21:23,480
Speaker 2: glamorized view where people are like, oh yeah, that that

1392
01:21:23,479 --> 01:21:26,240
Speaker 2: that was the day everything changed, and you know, my life.

1393
01:21:26,479 --> 01:21:28,719
Speaker 2: I look back and it was one of the best

1394
01:21:28,720 --> 01:21:30,960
Speaker 2: things that ever happened, because and it's like, you know,

1395
01:21:31,160 --> 01:21:34,120
Speaker 2: just it's it's unhealthy, and it's it's wonderful to hear

1396
01:21:34,160 --> 01:21:37,080
Speaker 2: it from a very human emotion of just like I

1397
01:21:37,080 --> 01:21:39,200
Speaker 2: don't like to think about it. You know, it's it's

1398
01:21:39,400 --> 01:21:44,240
Speaker 2: it's it's it's much more much more real to hear

1399
01:21:44,280 --> 01:21:46,360
Speaker 2: you say that, And I think it's important. That's what

1400
01:21:46,400 --> 01:21:49,320
Speaker 2: I think this book Finding My Way does is that

1401
01:21:49,360 --> 01:21:52,720
Speaker 2: people get a real view on what activism actually looks like.

1402
01:21:52,800 --> 01:21:56,719
Speaker 2: Because I think we have I think we're looking for heroes,

1403
01:21:57,960 --> 01:22:00,440
Speaker 2: and because we're looking for heroes, we have a gloryfied

1404
01:22:00,520 --> 01:22:02,040
Speaker 2: view of what activism looks like.

1405
01:22:02,320 --> 01:22:05,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, we see them as like a more global figure. Yeah,

1406
01:22:05,960 --> 01:22:09,920
Speaker 1: global figures are also doing amazing things. But it's the

1407
01:22:09,960 --> 01:22:12,080
Speaker 1: people who we have not heard of, we have not

1408
01:22:12,200 --> 01:22:16,759
Speaker 1: seen on our screens that are changing the lives of people.

1409
01:22:17,280 --> 01:22:21,080
Speaker 1: I have traveled to so many countries and met incredible

1410
01:22:21,120 --> 01:22:26,200
Speaker 1: activists who have transformed the lives of guls by standing

1411
01:22:26,240 --> 01:22:29,439
Speaker 1: up for their education. Like I was in Tanzania and

1412
01:22:29,520 --> 01:22:35,760
Speaker 1: I learned about these incredible activists who themselves when they

1413
01:22:35,760 --> 01:22:42,759
Speaker 1: were in school, you know, had to fight for staying

1414
01:22:42,760 --> 01:22:45,160
Speaker 1: in school every day. And today they are changing the

1415
01:22:45,160 --> 01:22:47,920
Speaker 1: lives of many girls out there. They're you know, giving

1416
01:22:47,960 --> 01:22:52,880
Speaker 1: them bicycles because they have to walk for long distances

1417
01:22:53,320 --> 01:22:55,880
Speaker 1: to have the safety and to make it to school sooner.

1418
01:22:56,280 --> 01:23:01,160
Speaker 1: They are giving them safety in schools. They are changing

1419
01:23:01,200 --> 01:23:05,040
Speaker 1: the laws which did not allow girls who became pregnant

1420
01:23:05,040 --> 01:23:07,120
Speaker 1: and mothers at a young age to return to school.

1421
01:23:07,120 --> 01:23:09,559
Speaker 1: They have like reversed that. They're like every girl should

1422
01:23:09,560 --> 01:23:12,320
Speaker 1: be in school. When you look at these milestones, it

1423
01:23:12,439 --> 01:23:15,920
Speaker 1: just gives you so much more hope. And I'm just

1424
01:23:16,000 --> 01:23:19,080
Speaker 1: like so proud of the work that Afghan women activists

1425
01:23:19,120 --> 01:23:23,720
Speaker 1: are doing. They're resilient, they're standing up through the Taliban,

1426
01:23:24,200 --> 01:23:29,599
Speaker 1: and they are the future of Afghanistan. So I have

1427
01:23:29,640 --> 01:23:31,839
Speaker 1: so much hope. You know, I know that the Taliban

1428
01:23:31,880 --> 01:23:34,880
Speaker 1: would not be in power forever. It's the Afghan women

1429
01:23:34,920 --> 01:23:53,800
Speaker 1: and girls who will be shaping the future of their country.

1430
01:23:54,479 --> 01:23:56,800
Speaker 2: Malala. Before we end, they usually I end with a

1431
01:23:56,880 --> 01:23:59,400
Speaker 2: final five. Okay, Before we do that, I want to

1432
01:23:59,439 --> 01:24:01,040
Speaker 2: ask you, is there anything that I haven't asked you

1433
01:24:01,080 --> 01:24:02,960
Speaker 2: about that you wish you had a chance to share

1434
01:24:03,080 --> 01:24:04,200
Speaker 2: here in this book.

1435
01:24:04,240 --> 01:24:08,360
Speaker 1: One other topic that I discuss is a sense of

1436
01:24:08,400 --> 01:24:13,240
Speaker 1: belonging and I have really struggled with that because of

1437
01:24:13,320 --> 01:24:17,320
Speaker 1: the way I had to leave Pakistan. I have been

1438
01:24:17,320 --> 01:24:20,360
Speaker 1: to Pakistan many more times after that because I just

1439
01:24:20,439 --> 01:24:24,040
Speaker 1: did not want to give up on seeing my home again.

1440
01:24:26,080 --> 01:24:28,400
Speaker 1: I wanted to see the mountains, be by the river,

1441
01:24:28,640 --> 01:24:35,760
Speaker 1: smell the fresh air, and being the place where I

1442
01:24:35,800 --> 01:24:39,240
Speaker 1: grew up. But at the same time, I have now

1443
01:24:39,960 --> 01:24:42,120
Speaker 1: met so many people around the world. I have seen

1444
01:24:42,240 --> 01:24:45,639
Speaker 1: different countries, and I have found a sense of belonging

1445
01:24:45,680 --> 01:24:51,200
Speaker 1: everywhere now. And I feel this sense of belonging when

1446
01:24:51,200 --> 01:24:55,240
Speaker 1: I'm in the company of my family, when I'm chatting

1447
01:24:55,280 --> 01:24:58,040
Speaker 1: with my friends and we are laughing out loud, or

1448
01:24:58,080 --> 01:25:01,800
Speaker 1: when I am holding the hand of my husband. This

1449
01:25:01,880 --> 01:25:04,880
Speaker 1: is sort of the sense of belonging that I feel.

1450
01:25:06,240 --> 01:25:08,439
Speaker 1: And I think, you know, it's like when you when

1451
01:25:08,479 --> 01:25:10,880
Speaker 1: you meet so many people, you just realize we're all one.

1452
01:25:11,360 --> 01:25:14,519
Speaker 1: So I hope that we can promote more of that.

1453
01:25:15,920 --> 01:25:21,280
Speaker 1: And I have always had this sense of like home

1454
01:25:21,560 --> 01:25:23,640
Speaker 1: and I and I was always looking for home, like

1455
01:25:23,880 --> 01:25:26,080
Speaker 1: you know, we we've always lived in rented buildings, so

1456
01:25:26,720 --> 01:25:28,960
Speaker 1: I just never thought like what was my my real

1457
01:25:29,000 --> 01:25:32,439
Speaker 1: and my true home. But now you know, for me,

1458
01:25:32,640 --> 01:25:37,479
Speaker 1: like home, home is everywhere. And I have been on

1459
01:25:37,520 --> 01:25:41,960
Speaker 1: this journey to make change happen for girls in the world.

1460
01:25:42,640 --> 01:25:45,719
Speaker 1: And the one place that was always on my mind

1461
01:25:46,479 --> 01:25:51,639
Speaker 1: was my own hometown in Pakistan, where I saw how

1462
01:25:52,000 --> 01:25:56,000
Speaker 1: girls were still dreaming to finish their school and there

1463
01:25:56,080 --> 01:25:59,400
Speaker 1: were there were no high school in the village where

1464
01:25:59,680 --> 01:26:03,160
Speaker 1: my parents and were born. So when I started like

1465
01:26:03,240 --> 01:26:06,080
Speaker 1: Malalafund and when I won the Nobel Peace prize. It

1466
01:26:06,120 --> 01:26:09,160
Speaker 1: came with the prize money as well, So I said,

1467
01:26:09,200 --> 01:26:11,559
Speaker 1: you know what, I Am going to make a school there.

1468
01:26:12,200 --> 01:26:14,599
Speaker 1: And it's considered to be one of the most difficult

1469
01:26:14,600 --> 01:26:17,040
Speaker 1: areas to work in because it's up in the mountains

1470
01:26:17,080 --> 01:26:19,920
Speaker 1: and nobody wants to go and work there. But I said,

1471
01:26:19,960 --> 01:26:22,360
Speaker 1: if we can make it happen there, I think we

1472
01:26:22,400 --> 01:26:24,639
Speaker 1: can make it happen in any part of the country.

1473
01:26:26,040 --> 01:26:27,680
Speaker 1: You know, we work. We worked on it for the

1474
01:26:27,680 --> 01:26:33,640
Speaker 1: past seven eight years, and this year the first class graduated.

1475
01:26:34,400 --> 01:26:37,479
Speaker 1: I went to Pakistan in March. I visited the school

1476
01:26:37,520 --> 01:26:40,600
Speaker 1: for the first time. It was so different than what

1477
01:26:40,640 --> 01:26:45,040
Speaker 1: I had seen on PowerPoint presentations and in photos, you know,

1478
01:26:45,120 --> 01:26:47,160
Speaker 1: like just just seeing that in the middle of these

1479
01:26:47,280 --> 01:26:52,040
Speaker 1: of these mountains there's this beautiful school where girls are learning,

1480
01:26:52,240 --> 01:26:58,639
Speaker 1: they are playing, they are talking, they're laughing, they are

1481
01:26:58,760 --> 01:27:02,559
Speaker 1: dreaming of having future for themselves. It was the most

1482
01:27:02,560 --> 01:27:06,240
Speaker 1: rewarding feeling. And what I loved was the support that

1483
01:27:06,240 --> 01:27:08,120
Speaker 1: they received. Like they played chess and it's like a

1484
01:27:08,160 --> 01:27:10,120
Speaker 1: state of the art school. They have all of these

1485
01:27:10,160 --> 01:27:14,800
Speaker 1: different like activities. It's an incredible school. But when I

1486
01:27:14,840 --> 01:27:19,200
Speaker 1: saw the mental health office, that made me so happy.

1487
01:27:19,640 --> 01:27:22,880
Speaker 1: And the girls were telling me how they get mental

1488
01:27:22,880 --> 01:27:26,599
Speaker 1: health support. They sometimes do these different activities where they

1489
01:27:26,680 --> 01:27:30,000
Speaker 1: just sing together and dance and sometimes just scream to

1490
01:27:30,120 --> 01:27:33,400
Speaker 1: let it all out. So when I was just reflecting

1491
01:27:33,439 --> 01:27:36,280
Speaker 1: on my own mental health journey and how I wished

1492
01:27:36,320 --> 01:27:40,040
Speaker 1: we had more support, that I had more support, and

1493
01:27:40,560 --> 01:27:42,640
Speaker 1: how you know we want more support for girls, it

1494
01:27:42,720 --> 01:27:44,719
Speaker 1: just gave me so much joy that the girls were

1495
01:27:45,200 --> 01:27:49,720
Speaker 1: getting the support that they were, that they deserved and

1496
01:27:49,760 --> 01:27:53,920
Speaker 1: that they should have. So that was such a rewarding moment,

1497
01:27:54,720 --> 01:27:58,000
Speaker 1: and it gives me hope that we can make education

1498
01:27:58,680 --> 01:28:01,920
Speaker 1: a reality for every girl in every corner of the world,

1499
01:28:01,960 --> 01:28:04,400
Speaker 1: and all those one hundred and twenty two million girls

1500
01:28:04,400 --> 01:28:08,240
Speaker 1: who do not have access to education, we can do

1501
01:28:08,360 --> 01:28:13,559
Speaker 1: something for them. We can ensure that every girl can

1502
01:28:13,600 --> 01:28:15,759
Speaker 1: be in school, every girl can complete our education.

1503
01:28:16,600 --> 01:28:19,720
Speaker 2: First of all, congratulations, thank you. That's such a I

1504
01:28:19,760 --> 01:28:23,120
Speaker 2: can't comprehend or conceive of just how momentous that is

1505
01:28:23,160 --> 01:28:26,520
Speaker 2: for you to be able to open that school. And

1506
01:28:26,680 --> 01:28:30,040
Speaker 2: what I love about your focus is that there's the

1507
01:28:30,560 --> 01:28:35,120
Speaker 2: academic education, but there's also that value that you're putting

1508
01:28:35,160 --> 01:28:39,479
Speaker 2: on the emotional education that all of these girls require,

1509
01:28:39,520 --> 01:28:42,320
Speaker 2: so that they can truly achieve their full potential and

1510
01:28:42,360 --> 01:28:46,360
Speaker 2: not be held back because the academic qualification gives them

1511
01:28:46,439 --> 01:28:51,320
Speaker 2: access and as you said, creates more equality, but the

1512
01:28:51,360 --> 01:28:55,160
Speaker 2: emotional education helps them protect themselves and really stand up

1513
01:28:55,200 --> 01:28:58,880
Speaker 2: for themselves as well. So that's incredible. I mean, I

1514
01:28:58,920 --> 01:28:59,880
Speaker 2: hope I can visit one there.

1515
01:29:00,040 --> 01:29:01,960
Speaker 1: Sounds like I would love to take you.

1516
01:29:02,120 --> 01:29:06,240
Speaker 2: Sounds like such a beautiful place to visit with it. Yeah,

1517
01:29:06,280 --> 01:29:09,720
Speaker 2: it's incredible, Malala. It's been such a privilege and honor

1518
01:29:09,760 --> 01:29:11,840
Speaker 2: to talk to you. Honestly, I really mean that I

1519
01:29:11,880 --> 01:29:15,160
Speaker 2: always knew it would be, but meeting you and sitting

1520
01:29:15,200 --> 01:29:17,000
Speaker 2: with you here face to face, getting the chance to

1521
01:29:17,000 --> 01:29:21,240
Speaker 2: read your book early, it's it's beyond what I expected.

1522
01:29:21,280 --> 01:29:24,839
Speaker 2: It's surpassed all my expectations. Just the depth, the grace,

1523
01:29:25,800 --> 01:29:27,800
Speaker 2: the humor with which you carry yourself.

1524
01:29:27,479 --> 01:29:29,200
Speaker 1: As well as you would give it five stars.

1525
01:29:29,280 --> 01:29:34,680
Speaker 2: So we end every episode of On Purpose with a

1526
01:29:34,760 --> 01:29:38,599
Speaker 2: final five. These questions have to be answered in one word.

1527
01:29:38,640 --> 01:29:40,920
Speaker 2: I always say one word to one sentence, but nobody does,

1528
01:29:40,960 --> 01:29:45,120
Speaker 2: no one We can ignore it but one sentence maximum.

1529
01:29:45,439 --> 01:29:48,640
Speaker 2: But Malala, these your final five. The first question is

1530
01:29:48,680 --> 01:29:51,479
Speaker 2: what is the best advice you've ever heard or received.

1531
01:29:51,960 --> 01:29:54,519
Speaker 1: I love it when people make you feel that they're

1532
01:29:54,520 --> 01:29:57,880
Speaker 1: there for you. You know, the words mean everything to me,

1533
01:29:58,360 --> 01:30:02,880
Speaker 1: of course I and I really appreciate that, and I

1534
01:30:02,960 --> 01:30:06,280
Speaker 1: also offer like words of support to the girls I meet.

1535
01:30:06,680 --> 01:30:08,920
Speaker 1: And sometimes you know, like people roll their eyes like

1536
01:30:09,280 --> 01:30:10,960
Speaker 1: you know, what can what can they do to a

1537
01:30:11,000 --> 01:30:13,519
Speaker 1: girl's life when you tell them believe in yourself, follow

1538
01:30:13,560 --> 01:30:16,720
Speaker 1: your dreams. But I remember hearing those words when I was,

1539
01:30:17,560 --> 01:30:20,040
Speaker 1: you know, a child, and it meant everything to me

1540
01:30:20,120 --> 01:30:23,799
Speaker 1: because some people give you this hope and this belief

1541
01:30:23,880 --> 01:30:26,320
Speaker 1: that maybe you can do it too. So these things

1542
01:30:26,360 --> 01:30:28,400
Speaker 1: mean a lot. But I think more than that, it's

1543
01:30:29,560 --> 01:30:32,439
Speaker 1: you offering your support and making somebody feel that you

1544
01:30:32,520 --> 01:30:36,240
Speaker 1: are there for them, they're not alone. I think actions

1545
01:30:36,360 --> 01:30:38,040
Speaker 1: are just way more powerful.

1546
01:30:38,400 --> 01:30:41,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, I can agree more love the answer. And you're

1547
01:30:41,720 --> 01:30:44,479
Speaker 2: so right that these cliches are a cliche for a reason,

1548
01:30:44,560 --> 01:30:48,320
Speaker 2: because you know, when you tell someone you believe in them,

1549
01:30:48,479 --> 01:30:51,240
Speaker 2: sometimes someone needs to hear that the most in that moment,

1550
01:30:51,320 --> 01:30:54,840
Speaker 2: and so it can't be undervalued. Question number two, what

1551
01:30:55,000 --> 01:30:57,280
Speaker 2: is the worst advice you've ever had or received?

1552
01:30:59,840 --> 01:31:05,439
Speaker 1: The list is long, maybe getting a fringe cut wingch

1553
01:31:05,600 --> 01:31:08,760
Speaker 1: like bangs. I did it in COVID time. I did

1554
01:31:08,760 --> 01:31:12,479
Speaker 1: it in COVID time. No, it was terrible. It was

1555
01:31:12,600 --> 01:31:15,160
Speaker 1: a terrible, terrible advice that I took from a friend.

1556
01:31:15,760 --> 01:31:19,320
Speaker 1: And I wait for like two years for it to

1557
01:31:19,360 --> 01:31:20,840
Speaker 1: return to the normal length.

1558
01:31:22,800 --> 01:31:24,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so good.

1559
01:31:24,120 --> 01:31:26,280
Speaker 1: Please don't get it if it's not for you.

1560
01:31:26,280 --> 01:31:31,240
Speaker 2: You know, that's so good. Question number three, what part

1561
01:31:31,280 --> 01:31:35,040
Speaker 2: of yourself are you still learning to love? Oh?

1562
01:31:41,680 --> 01:31:45,920
Speaker 1: I am so ambitious about seeing change happen in my lifetime,

1563
01:31:47,200 --> 01:31:51,280
Speaker 1: especially when you receive like so much recognition and support.

1564
01:31:51,400 --> 01:31:54,840
Speaker 1: I always feel like I have received more than what

1565
01:31:54,960 --> 01:31:57,800
Speaker 1: I deserve. I mean, like getting a Nobel Peace Prize

1566
01:31:57,800 --> 01:31:59,720
Speaker 1: at seventeen. I can work for the rest of my

1567
01:31:59,800 --> 01:32:01,960
Speaker 1: life and still feel like I did not deserve it,

1568
01:32:02,320 --> 01:32:06,000
Speaker 1: because still millions of girls are out of school. So,

1569
01:32:06,280 --> 01:32:11,120
Speaker 1: you know, I would keep on questioning myself like can

1570
01:32:11,160 --> 01:32:13,360
Speaker 1: we make the change happen? Can we make it sooner?

1571
01:32:13,439 --> 01:32:18,000
Speaker 1: But I then remind myself that it's you know. As

1572
01:32:18,080 --> 01:32:20,599
Speaker 1: much as we love to say one person changed the world,

1573
01:32:21,000 --> 01:32:23,559
Speaker 1: even I myself said one book, one pen can change

1574
01:32:23,560 --> 01:32:28,160
Speaker 1: the world. I think a person can start a change,

1575
01:32:28,160 --> 01:32:31,840
Speaker 1: they can spark it. But it is the work of

1576
01:32:32,439 --> 01:32:36,719
Speaker 1: collective activism that can help us see the change become

1577
01:32:36,760 --> 01:32:41,080
Speaker 1: a reality. So I just constantly remind myself this. You know,

1578
01:32:41,120 --> 01:32:45,559
Speaker 1: I'm at times disappointed, like why are these things happening?

1579
01:32:47,120 --> 01:32:50,800
Speaker 1: But it's you know, Afghanistan, Gaza, one hundred and twenty

1580
01:32:50,840 --> 01:32:55,479
Speaker 1: million girls out of school, child marriage, so many things.

1581
01:32:55,560 --> 01:32:58,439
Speaker 1: But then I'm like, the work is in action, it

1582
01:32:58,520 --> 01:33:03,360
Speaker 1: is happening. Keep supporting education activists, keep doing the advocacy,

1583
01:33:03,520 --> 01:33:09,920
Speaker 1: keep empowering and uplifting girls' voices and stopping and you know,

1584
01:33:10,000 --> 01:33:15,240
Speaker 1: like and doubting yourself is not the answer that you know,

1585
01:33:15,240 --> 01:33:18,280
Speaker 1: you don't want to go still where everything stops, So

1586
01:33:19,400 --> 01:33:24,600
Speaker 1: keep it going, accelerate it. But it's a constant conversation

1587
01:33:24,680 --> 01:33:25,719
Speaker 1: that I have with myself.

1588
01:33:26,120 --> 01:33:28,760
Speaker 2: I'm taking a slight detour from the final five because

1589
01:33:28,760 --> 01:33:31,160
Speaker 2: you said a couple of things that when you talk

1590
01:33:31,160 --> 01:33:33,320
Speaker 2: about one hundred and twenty two million girls in the world,

1591
01:33:33,320 --> 01:33:36,719
Speaker 2: you don't have access to education. What's the primary reason

1592
01:33:36,800 --> 01:33:39,120
Speaker 2: for that? Well, how does that break down across?

1593
01:33:39,600 --> 01:33:42,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, you know, there are many reasons for that.

1594
01:33:42,800 --> 01:33:46,879
Speaker 1: On the one hand, it is the supply side issues,

1595
01:33:46,920 --> 01:33:49,519
Speaker 1: So there are like not enough schools, there are not

1596
01:33:49,720 --> 01:33:52,639
Speaker 1: enough safe schools, the quality of teaching is not good.

1597
01:33:53,760 --> 01:33:56,920
Speaker 1: Distance to school is a big challenge, safety at school

1598
01:33:56,960 --> 01:33:59,679
Speaker 1: is a big problem. So because of all of these reasons,

1599
01:34:00,160 --> 01:34:03,400
Speaker 1: girl is not in school in many places, there are

1600
01:34:03,439 --> 01:34:06,240
Speaker 1: not enough high schools for girls. So people have invested

1601
01:34:06,320 --> 01:34:09,200
Speaker 1: enough in primary but have not invested enough in the

1602
01:34:09,240 --> 01:34:12,280
Speaker 1: secondary education of guls. But then at the same time,

1603
01:34:12,320 --> 01:34:16,400
Speaker 1: there are also like cultural and social norms where you know,

1604
01:34:16,439 --> 01:34:19,680
Speaker 1: it's become a taboo where girls are not allowed to

1605
01:34:19,680 --> 01:34:23,360
Speaker 1: be in school. We're seeing this happen in Afghanistan and

1606
01:34:23,439 --> 01:34:25,800
Speaker 1: many other parts of the world where just education is

1607
01:34:25,840 --> 01:34:29,200
Speaker 1: discouraged for girls. There are just too many restrictions that

1608
01:34:29,240 --> 01:34:33,519
Speaker 1: girls face. But I do believe that, you know, there

1609
01:34:33,600 --> 01:34:38,320
Speaker 1: is a way for us to work towards solving these problems,

1610
01:34:38,920 --> 01:34:41,360
Speaker 1: and I think it has to start with investing in education.

1611
01:34:41,439 --> 01:34:44,479
Speaker 1: We have to address the supply side issues first, because

1612
01:34:44,880 --> 01:34:47,200
Speaker 1: you want to make a school before you go and

1613
01:34:47,320 --> 01:34:50,439
Speaker 1: address the more like you know, the social stigma or

1614
01:34:51,760 --> 01:34:55,360
Speaker 1: you know, how do we change the mentality and sometimes

1615
01:34:55,360 --> 01:34:58,959
Speaker 1: those things just happen naturally. We have seen in many areas,

1616
01:34:59,000 --> 01:35:03,599
Speaker 1: including my parents' village in Pakistan, where once the school

1617
01:35:03,680 --> 01:35:07,440
Speaker 1: was built and a state of the art education was provided.

1618
01:35:08,520 --> 01:35:13,240
Speaker 1: The norms started changing themselves because they saw that, they

1619
01:35:13,240 --> 01:35:16,879
Speaker 1: saw the real power of education. How these girls are

1620
01:35:16,920 --> 01:35:22,360
Speaker 1: like are you know, are having these different career paths

1621
01:35:22,400 --> 01:35:25,240
Speaker 1: that they could achieve. They could not only be helping themselves,

1622
01:35:25,240 --> 01:35:28,360
Speaker 1: but they could be helping their families as well. And

1623
01:35:28,479 --> 01:35:31,600
Speaker 1: everybody realizes that it's actually a benefit to the community

1624
01:35:31,640 --> 01:35:35,760
Speaker 1: as well. When a girl receives her education, there's economic empowerment,

1625
01:35:35,800 --> 01:35:41,960
Speaker 1: there's more prosperity, powerty reduces, and you know, it's for

1626
01:35:42,000 --> 01:35:45,439
Speaker 1: the benefit of everybody when girls are receiving an education,

1627
01:35:46,120 --> 01:35:49,120
Speaker 1: including men and boys, it helps men and boys as

1628
01:35:49,160 --> 01:35:52,440
Speaker 1: well when we have more women educated and empowered.

1629
01:35:52,560 --> 01:35:55,920
Speaker 2: Talk about that, because I think that's a challenge that's

1630
01:35:55,960 --> 01:35:57,720
Speaker 2: being talked about in the West right now, at least

1631
01:35:57,720 --> 01:36:00,439
Speaker 2: this idea in America that now, if you look, women

1632
01:36:00,520 --> 01:36:03,720
Speaker 2: are more likely to graduate, they're qualifying more than men are.

1633
01:36:04,680 --> 01:36:07,800
Speaker 2: And that's an interesting talking point. Talk to us about

1634
01:36:07,840 --> 01:36:10,760
Speaker 2: how women being educated is actually good for men as well.

1635
01:36:11,200 --> 01:36:16,599
Speaker 1: Educated and empowered women actually are helping men in their

1636
01:36:16,600 --> 01:36:20,800
Speaker 1: families as well. You know, I do not know about

1637
01:36:20,800 --> 01:36:23,800
Speaker 1: like every country in every context, but I have seen

1638
01:36:23,920 --> 01:36:28,760
Speaker 1: how this shift has happened where the boys were sort

1639
01:36:28,760 --> 01:36:31,200
Speaker 1: of usually told like, you are supposed to be the breadwinner.

1640
01:36:31,680 --> 01:36:34,639
Speaker 1: The girl is married off, but the boys are supposed

1641
01:36:34,680 --> 01:36:37,000
Speaker 1: to be taking care of the family. But if the

1642
01:36:37,040 --> 01:36:39,599
Speaker 1: girl is also able to get her education, she can

1643
01:36:39,640 --> 01:36:43,000
Speaker 1: also contribute to the family. It reduces the burden that

1644
01:36:43,080 --> 01:36:47,280
Speaker 1: is expected from the boys, and that everybody is contributing

1645
01:36:47,400 --> 01:36:50,800
Speaker 1: to the family and everybody can look after each other

1646
01:36:50,880 --> 01:36:53,400
Speaker 1: as well. We have also seen that when like more

1647
01:36:53,439 --> 01:36:58,000
Speaker 1: women are educated and there are open conversations about you know,

1648
01:36:58,400 --> 01:37:01,840
Speaker 1: the role of men and like challenging gender stereotypes, that

1649
01:37:01,960 --> 01:37:07,600
Speaker 1: can help us have better you know, feminist men or

1650
01:37:07,720 --> 01:37:13,519
Speaker 1: like men who appreciate women's rights and they're like, so,

1651
01:37:13,600 --> 01:37:15,439
Speaker 1: you know, we need we need better sons, we need

1652
01:37:15,479 --> 01:37:19,400
Speaker 1: better brothers, we need better husbands and fathers as well.

1653
01:37:19,720 --> 01:37:23,800
Speaker 1: So you know, I think working for girl's education is

1654
01:37:24,320 --> 01:37:26,400
Speaker 1: sort of a way in which we can have more

1655
01:37:26,479 --> 01:37:30,400
Speaker 1: productive and helpful conversations and see this cultural shift. And

1656
01:37:30,439 --> 01:37:32,679
Speaker 1: at the same time, like when we talk about investing

1657
01:37:32,680 --> 01:37:37,559
Speaker 1: in guls education and talk about policy change that also

1658
01:37:37,600 --> 01:37:41,360
Speaker 1: directly benefits boys education, it's never about like invest in

1659
01:37:41,400 --> 01:37:45,400
Speaker 1: girls schools only it's about invest in every school, but

1660
01:37:45,880 --> 01:37:48,519
Speaker 1: let's come up with gender inclusive policy, so we are

1661
01:37:48,560 --> 01:37:53,160
Speaker 1: addressing the problems that specifically cause girls to drop out

1662
01:37:53,600 --> 01:37:56,040
Speaker 1: or that can help us and show that a girl

1663
01:37:56,120 --> 01:38:00,200
Speaker 1: makes it to the next year in her school can

1664
01:38:00,200 --> 01:38:02,320
Speaker 1: also help us. You know, when it's generally inclusive, it

1665
01:38:02,360 --> 01:38:05,120
Speaker 1: can also address the problems that boys are also facing.

1666
01:38:06,560 --> 01:38:12,280
Speaker 2: Wonderful answer. How how prevalent is child marriage still?

1667
01:38:13,640 --> 01:38:16,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean child marriage is still a big issue

1668
01:38:16,960 --> 01:38:21,400
Speaker 1: in many countries and sometimes you know, we sort of

1669
01:38:21,439 --> 01:38:24,600
Speaker 1: see news how the law is also being reversed. I

1670
01:38:24,600 --> 01:38:27,839
Speaker 1: think I heard about it happening in I think Iraq,

1671
01:38:29,000 --> 01:38:30,960
Speaker 1: which is like really crazy. I think it should it

1672
01:38:31,000 --> 01:38:35,000
Speaker 1: should be a law in every country where, like you know,

1673
01:38:35,000 --> 01:38:36,920
Speaker 1: a child should not be married off. It should be

1674
01:38:36,960 --> 01:38:38,960
Speaker 1: just illegal, it should be banned, and people who do

1675
01:38:39,040 --> 01:38:43,000
Speaker 1: it should be held accountable for that. And at the

1676
01:38:43,040 --> 01:38:45,360
Speaker 1: same time, we need to sort of change change and

1677
01:38:45,439 --> 01:38:48,200
Speaker 1: challenge the culture around it as well. So you know,

1678
01:38:48,320 --> 01:38:51,519
Speaker 1: using storytelling, TV shows and stuff like that can also

1679
01:38:51,640 --> 01:38:56,920
Speaker 1: help us to to change to change these perspectives. But

1680
01:38:57,360 --> 01:38:59,960
Speaker 1: it's it's an it's an issue that is affecting many girls,

1681
01:39:00,160 --> 01:39:03,519
Speaker 1: including in Pakistan, India and other parts of the world.

1682
01:39:03,840 --> 01:39:05,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, I can agree with you more. Thank you for

1683
01:39:06,200 --> 01:39:09,640
Speaker 2: those two parts. I'll put into the episode accordingly. I

1684
01:39:09,680 --> 01:39:13,599
Speaker 2: took a little detO question number four of the final

1685
01:39:13,720 --> 01:39:16,920
Speaker 2: five what does peace look like for you today?

1686
01:39:17,439 --> 01:39:19,960
Speaker 1: So when you asked about peace, I just think about

1687
01:39:20,280 --> 01:39:26,200
Speaker 1: world peace immediately, because I have lived under a time

1688
01:39:26,320 --> 01:39:31,520
Speaker 1: when we used to hear gunshots and suicide attacks and bombings,

1689
01:39:31,560 --> 01:39:35,800
Speaker 1: and you know, like every ten minutes you would hear

1690
01:39:35,920 --> 01:39:38,000
Speaker 1: a sound and you were just worried, like whose house

1691
01:39:38,040 --> 01:39:42,160
Speaker 1: has been targeted? Who has lost their life? So when

1692
01:39:42,200 --> 01:39:45,120
Speaker 1: somebody asks me about peace, I don't think about like,

1693
01:39:46,600 --> 01:39:48,840
Speaker 1: you know, peace at heart or you know, being at

1694
01:39:48,840 --> 01:39:52,320
Speaker 1: peace with yourself. I usually think about world peace, and

1695
01:39:52,560 --> 01:39:57,519
Speaker 1: you know, I just I hope bombings, I hope wars stop.

1696
01:39:57,800 --> 01:40:03,040
Speaker 1: You know, we have to speak out against it. You

1697
01:40:03,080 --> 01:40:06,080
Speaker 1: know what I have experienced personally, and and how I

1698
01:40:06,120 --> 01:40:10,080
Speaker 1: have seen other girls and boys being targeted at school,

1699
01:40:11,320 --> 01:40:13,960
Speaker 1: and and you know how they have lost their loved ones,

1700
01:40:14,000 --> 01:40:19,520
Speaker 1: how they themselves have been injured. I met Palestinian refugees

1701
01:40:19,560 --> 01:40:22,679
Speaker 1: in Egypt just a few weeks ago, and I just saw,

1702
01:40:22,760 --> 01:40:25,200
Speaker 1: like you know, they were injured, they had lost a sibling,

1703
01:40:26,160 --> 01:40:29,760
Speaker 1: They were separated from their family members. It is just

1704
01:40:30,000 --> 01:40:38,200
Speaker 1: heartbreaking how absence of peace is taking away the right

1705
01:40:38,240 --> 01:40:41,840
Speaker 1: to life from from so many people. They cannot live

1706
01:40:42,000 --> 01:40:45,840
Speaker 1: a normal life that we all, you know, most of

1707
01:40:45,920 --> 01:40:49,599
Speaker 1: us are are our privileged to have. So when I

1708
01:40:49,640 --> 01:40:53,760
Speaker 1: am at moments when i I'm just like looking outside the

1709
01:40:53,760 --> 01:40:57,360
Speaker 1: window and I and I see a normal life, I'm like, Okay,

1710
01:40:57,360 --> 01:40:59,880
Speaker 1: you know there are normal cars, and people are walking around,

1711
01:41:00,080 --> 01:41:04,839
Speaker 1: and and people are chatting and laughing, and there's no bombing,

1712
01:41:04,920 --> 01:41:12,920
Speaker 1: no firing. Buildings are not destroyed. I just feel grateful,

1713
01:41:14,080 --> 01:41:16,599
Speaker 1: but I wish that for everybody. I think it has

1714
01:41:16,640 --> 01:41:20,559
Speaker 1: to stop. These are all human made things. They're not

1715
01:41:20,600 --> 01:41:22,760
Speaker 1: happening itself. These are human made. We have to really

1716
01:41:22,840 --> 01:41:27,639
Speaker 1: question ourselves about the hatred that is created, these hateful

1717
01:41:27,640 --> 01:41:30,920
Speaker 1: ideologies that are created, how people are being dehumanized, Like

1718
01:41:31,080 --> 01:41:34,439
Speaker 1: the dehumanization of people is a very big problem. That's

1719
01:41:34,479 --> 01:41:36,880
Speaker 1: where it begins, and that's what worries me the most

1720
01:41:36,880 --> 01:41:39,280
Speaker 1: when I think about, like, you know, what's happening to

1721
01:41:39,400 --> 01:41:43,519
Speaker 1: women and gults in Afghanistan. They're being considered as second

1722
01:41:43,520 --> 01:41:47,479
Speaker 1: class humans. When we think about these different wars that

1723
01:41:47,520 --> 01:41:50,240
Speaker 1: are happening or what's happening in Gaza. It's you know,

1724
01:41:50,280 --> 01:41:55,040
Speaker 1: it's like the dehumanization. So you know, I hope that

1725
01:41:56,120 --> 01:42:01,080
Speaker 1: people see each other as equal. We see you know,

1726
01:42:01,160 --> 01:42:05,400
Speaker 1: our we see ourselves in in in other people, and

1727
01:42:05,520 --> 01:42:09,320
Speaker 1: we you know, stand up to this. You know, these

1728
01:42:09,920 --> 01:42:13,040
Speaker 1: arms and these like violent tools that are being spread

1729
01:42:13,080 --> 01:42:17,960
Speaker 1: in the world because it's it's it's a big problem.

1730
01:42:18,000 --> 01:42:20,400
Speaker 1: So I wish for real world peace and then that

1731
01:42:20,479 --> 01:42:23,720
Speaker 1: would give me peace and I would feel more at

1732
01:42:24,280 --> 01:42:25,719
Speaker 1: peace with my with myself.

1733
01:42:26,960 --> 01:42:30,000
Speaker 2: What would you say to a young girl who looks

1734
01:42:30,000 --> 01:42:32,439
Speaker 2: at the state of the world and doesn't feel hopeful

1735
01:42:32,520 --> 01:42:32,960
Speaker 2: right now?

1736
01:42:33,560 --> 01:42:36,639
Speaker 1: I would tell her, you know, I felt that many times.

1737
01:42:36,840 --> 01:42:41,200
Speaker 1: I still feel it many times, but then I remind

1738
01:42:41,280 --> 01:42:46,400
Speaker 1: myself that there's something that I can do today. I

1739
01:42:46,439 --> 01:42:52,880
Speaker 1: feel that we all have the capacity to drive for change.

1740
01:42:53,439 --> 01:42:55,639
Speaker 1: So sometimes we want the world to change, we want

1741
01:42:55,680 --> 01:43:01,679
Speaker 1: somebody else to make it happen, but we cannot wait

1742
01:43:01,720 --> 01:43:03,960
Speaker 1: for it to happen itself or for somebody else to

1743
01:43:04,000 --> 01:43:08,000
Speaker 1: do it for us. Sometimes it's us who can be

1744
01:43:08,120 --> 01:43:12,240
Speaker 1: that change maker. So I don't want you to lose hope.

1745
01:43:12,840 --> 01:43:17,240
Speaker 1: So I don't want you to lose hope, and I

1746
01:43:17,280 --> 01:43:21,240
Speaker 1: want you to know that you could be the change maker.

1747
01:43:21,880 --> 01:43:25,320
Speaker 1: You could shift things and you could drive change.

1748
01:43:25,920 --> 01:43:28,040
Speaker 2: And fift and final question, we asked this to every

1749
01:43:28,040 --> 01:43:30,639
Speaker 2: guest who's ever been on the show. If you could

1750
01:43:30,680 --> 01:43:33,799
Speaker 2: create one law that ever in the world had to follow,

1751
01:43:34,240 --> 01:43:34,920
Speaker 2: what would it be?

1752
01:43:36,200 --> 01:43:41,840
Speaker 1: One law? You know, I'm not like that aggressive. I'm

1753
01:43:41,880 --> 01:43:45,040
Speaker 1: not authoritarian. Though I have a lot of laws and

1754
01:43:45,120 --> 01:43:48,639
Speaker 1: rules for my husband and my brothers and my dad,

1755
01:43:49,000 --> 01:43:50,800
Speaker 1: a lot of rules for men. Maybe we should just

1756
01:43:50,960 --> 01:43:54,839
Speaker 1: have just rules for men who cause a lot of problems.

1757
01:43:55,880 --> 01:43:59,960
Speaker 1: I mean, I you know, I do see the significance

1758
01:44:00,240 --> 01:44:04,559
Speaker 1: of creating laws on the one hand, because you know,

1759
01:44:04,720 --> 01:44:10,200
Speaker 1: what's happening in Afghanistan is beyond just gender discrimination, and

1760
01:44:11,000 --> 01:44:16,040
Speaker 1: if we look at the current laws in the international system,

1761
01:44:16,600 --> 01:44:19,200
Speaker 1: it cannot recognize the scale of the oppression that is

1762
01:44:19,240 --> 01:44:22,639
Speaker 1: happening there. So that's exactly why Afghan women activists are

1763
01:44:22,680 --> 01:44:26,360
Speaker 1: advocating for it to be recognized as a gender apartheid

1764
01:44:26,479 --> 01:44:29,680
Speaker 1: in the Crime against Humanity Treaty, which basically means is

1765
01:44:29,680 --> 01:44:33,679
Speaker 1: that like countries should not just be allowed to look

1766
01:44:33,720 --> 01:44:37,439
Speaker 1: away or normalize relationships with the Taliban, or just simply

1767
01:44:37,479 --> 01:44:39,200
Speaker 1: condemn it and just feel like, Okay, you know, we

1768
01:44:39,240 --> 01:44:43,120
Speaker 1: have done our job. That countries should be obliged to

1769
01:44:43,280 --> 01:44:46,400
Speaker 1: respond and countries should be held accountable to respond, and

1770
01:44:46,439 --> 01:44:50,280
Speaker 1: they cannot be allowed to normalize relationships with oppressive regimes

1771
01:44:50,320 --> 01:44:53,920
Speaker 1: like the Taliban. So I think, you know better laws

1772
01:44:54,040 --> 01:44:59,799
Speaker 1: are really important. We just need more protection for guls' rights.

1773
01:45:00,000 --> 01:45:04,720
Speaker 1: And right now it is a crime for girls to

1774
01:45:04,840 --> 01:45:09,439
Speaker 1: be learning in Afghanistan. Let's process that they're punished if

1775
01:45:09,479 --> 01:45:12,800
Speaker 1: they disobey this rule, because the Taliban are abusing their

1776
01:45:12,800 --> 01:45:15,960
Speaker 1: power and they're punishing women, putting them in prisons if

1777
01:45:16,000 --> 01:45:20,000
Speaker 1: they disobey any of their absurd rules and restrictions that

1778
01:45:20,040 --> 01:45:23,439
Speaker 1: they have imposed. But on the other hand, if we

1779
01:45:23,560 --> 01:45:28,760
Speaker 1: look at our international law system, it is not recognizing

1780
01:45:28,800 --> 01:45:32,400
Speaker 1: what the Taliban are doing as a crime. I think

1781
01:45:32,760 --> 01:45:35,360
Speaker 1: the ban on education in itself should be recognized as

1782
01:45:35,400 --> 01:45:38,520
Speaker 1: an international crime and the Taliban should be held accountable

1783
01:45:38,840 --> 01:45:42,200
Speaker 1: for that. So I do believe that there is a

1784
01:45:42,280 --> 01:45:46,479
Speaker 1: huge significance in creating laws that can protect the right

1785
01:45:46,560 --> 01:45:48,920
Speaker 1: to education for girls and that can protect the rights

1786
01:45:48,920 --> 01:45:52,920
Speaker 1: of women and vulnerable communities. At the same time, I

1787
01:45:52,960 --> 01:45:57,559
Speaker 1: also think it's about you know, how we change as

1788
01:45:57,600 --> 01:46:02,000
Speaker 1: people and how we do things differently, and how we

1789
01:46:02,080 --> 01:46:05,000
Speaker 1: challenge ourselves. You know, we don't need we don't necessarily

1790
01:46:05,000 --> 01:46:08,479
Speaker 1: need laws to be acting differently. Like you know, the

1791
01:46:08,960 --> 01:46:12,360
Speaker 1: most powerful thing is free will, and we all have

1792
01:46:12,439 --> 01:46:15,160
Speaker 1: the free will to be better, to be doing the

1793
01:46:15,240 --> 01:46:20,600
Speaker 1: right thing. We don't necessarily need laws. So sometimes I

1794
01:46:20,680 --> 01:46:25,800
Speaker 1: just also think about us doing better and just being

1795
01:46:25,840 --> 01:46:29,920
Speaker 1: more responsible, standing up for what is right, standing against injustices,

1796
01:46:30,479 --> 01:46:35,080
Speaker 1: and sharing solidarity with those who are oppressed and who

1797
01:46:35,120 --> 01:46:36,080
Speaker 1: need our support.

1798
01:46:37,960 --> 01:46:39,599
Speaker 2: Melala, thank you so much for.

1799
01:46:40,200 --> 01:46:42,640
Speaker 1: It wasn't one word right now, it's.

1800
01:46:42,240 --> 01:46:45,040
Speaker 2: Brilliant is thank you so much for writing this book

1801
01:46:45,080 --> 01:46:48,120
Speaker 2: Finding My Way, Thank you for coming and sharing it

1802
01:46:48,160 --> 01:46:51,000
Speaker 2: with our community here today, and thank you for having

1803
01:46:51,000 --> 01:46:53,439
Speaker 2: the courage to continue to find courage in all your

1804
01:46:53,439 --> 01:46:57,680
Speaker 2: different transitions and phases of life. I thank you. It

1805
01:46:57,680 --> 01:47:01,519
Speaker 2: feels like you've lived in different lives in you know,

1806
01:47:02,000 --> 01:47:03,920
Speaker 2: the short span that you've been here on Earth. But

1807
01:47:04,880 --> 01:47:09,040
Speaker 2: your words, your actions, your work affects millions and millions

1808
01:47:09,080 --> 01:47:10,479
Speaker 2: and millions of people every day. Thank you.

1809
01:47:10,560 --> 01:47:12,920
Speaker 1: I just want to say one final thing that you know,

1810
01:47:12,960 --> 01:47:16,479
Speaker 1: we talked about a lot of things I have talked

1811
01:47:16,479 --> 01:47:20,000
Speaker 1: about many topics, but one thing that I feel people

1812
01:47:20,080 --> 01:47:22,240
Speaker 1: don't know about me is that I am a very

1813
01:47:22,240 --> 01:47:26,800
Speaker 1: funny person. Yes, so I want people to know that.

1814
01:47:26,960 --> 01:47:29,600
Speaker 1: You know, in this book, of course, I'm talking about

1815
01:47:30,080 --> 01:47:33,960
Speaker 1: very important topics, but humor is something that has helped

1816
01:47:33,960 --> 01:47:39,120
Speaker 1: me through life in many ways, and humor is everything

1817
01:47:39,160 --> 01:47:42,479
Speaker 1: to me. So I laugh through many things. I laugh

1818
01:47:42,520 --> 01:47:45,000
Speaker 1: about many things, and so you know, you will learn

1819
01:47:45,040 --> 01:47:47,559
Speaker 1: a lot about this book, but you will also be uh,

1820
01:47:48,000 --> 01:47:51,360
Speaker 1: you know, you know, laughing with me or you know,

1821
01:47:51,880 --> 01:47:52,760
Speaker 1: you yeah.

1822
01:47:52,600 --> 01:47:55,320
Speaker 2: Or at me, because you know, the first thing Malala

1823
01:47:55,360 --> 01:47:56,760
Speaker 2: said to me when she came in the room today,

1824
01:47:56,800 --> 01:47:58,680
Speaker 2: she was like, your wife's a lot cooler than you.

1825
01:47:58,760 --> 01:48:00,599
Speaker 2: And I was like, yeah, my wife's a and she goes, yeah,

1826
01:48:00,600 --> 01:48:02,800
Speaker 2: you don't even need to say that out loud. I

1827
01:48:02,840 --> 01:48:04,799
Speaker 2: was like, wow, I'm being roasted already.

1828
01:48:04,960 --> 01:48:05,240
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1829
01:48:05,400 --> 01:48:05,439
Speaker 3: No.

1830
01:48:05,600 --> 01:48:08,080
Speaker 2: I think your humor shone through in so many moments

1831
01:48:08,080 --> 01:48:11,680
Speaker 2: today and it's a beautiful part of who you are,

1832
01:48:11,680 --> 01:48:13,880
Speaker 2: and I'm so glad you're sharing it, and I'm so

1833
01:48:13,960 --> 01:48:17,800
Speaker 2: glad you're showing us what a full human looks like,

1834
01:48:18,560 --> 01:48:22,439
Speaker 2: you know, beyond the symbol, beyond a role you play,

1835
01:48:23,000 --> 01:48:26,599
Speaker 2: but what it means to have feelings and relationships. Yes,

1836
01:48:26,680 --> 01:48:27,240
Speaker 2: in their lives.

1837
01:48:27,320 --> 01:48:27,519
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1838
01:48:27,600 --> 01:48:30,480
Speaker 1: No, This is me reintroducing myself and the most important

1839
01:48:30,479 --> 01:48:33,320
Speaker 1: thing is being true to yourself. That is the most

1840
01:48:33,360 --> 01:48:34,880
Speaker 1: important message from me.

1841
01:48:35,640 --> 01:48:37,920
Speaker 2: Thank you aller. I'm so grateful, Thank you so much.

1842
01:48:38,040 --> 01:48:38,519
Speaker 1: Thank you.

1843
01:48:38,920 --> 01:48:41,720
Speaker 3: If you enjoyed this podcast, you're going to love my

1844
01:48:41,840 --> 01:48:46,080
Speaker 3: conversation with Michelle Obama where she opens up on how

1845
01:48:46,120 --> 01:48:49,439
Speaker 3: to stay with your partner when they're changing, and the

1846
01:48:49,479 --> 01:48:52,880
Speaker 3: four check ins you should be doing in your relationship.

1847
01:48:53,160 --> 01:48:56,000
Speaker 3: We also talk about how to deal with relationships when

1848
01:48:56,040 --> 01:48:57,280
Speaker 3: they're under stress.

1849
01:48:57,520 --> 01:48:59,920
Speaker 2: If you're going through something right now with your partner,

1850
01:49:00,080 --> 01:49:03,400
Speaker 2: uh or someone you're seeing, this is the episode for you.

1851
01:49:03,439 --> 01:49:06,439
Speaker 4: No wonder our kids are struggling. We have a new

1852
01:49:06,479 --> 01:49:10,439
Speaker 4: technology and we've just taken it in hookline and Sinker,

1853
01:49:10,800 --> 01:49:13,759
Speaker 4: and we have to be mindful for our kids. They'll

1854
01:49:13,880 --> 01:49:17,280
Speaker 4: just be thumbing through this stuff. You know, their mind's

1855
01:49:17,360 --> 01:49:18,120
Speaker 4: never sleeping.