WEBVTT - Toxic Relationships (Pt.1) 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:03.920 From Cavalry Audio comes the new true crime podcast, The 0:00:03.960 --> 0:00:07.040 Shadow Girls. I grew up near the banks of the 0:00:07.080 --> 0:00:09.920 Green River and in the shadow of the killer that 0:00:10.039 --> 0:00:14.040 bears its name. Prosecutors described him as a serial killer survived, 0:00:14.320 --> 0:00:17.680 but this podcast isn't only about tracking down the killer. 0:00:18.120 --> 0:00:21.200 It's about the victims. We stayed in the woods. He 0:00:21.280 --> 0:00:23.840 always liked to go into words. Listen to The Shadow 0:00:23.840 --> 0:00:27.240 Girls on the I Heart Radio app, on Apple Podcasts 0:00:27.400 --> 0:00:31.880 or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, what's up. I'm 0:00:32.000 --> 0:00:34.960 Jacob Bertrand and I'm Solo Mighty and this is the 0:00:35.040 --> 0:00:38.160 Loan Lobos Podcast. Now you may know us from Cobra 0:00:38.280 --> 0:00:40.519 Kai or some of the other projects we've been on, 0:00:40.600 --> 0:00:43.199 but we've got a podcast coming out. Yeah, and every 0:00:43.240 --> 0:00:46.480 week we're gonna be shooting given our hardest takes on adulthood, 0:00:46.520 --> 0:00:48.880 growing up in the industry, talking about everything and nothing 0:00:48.920 --> 0:00:51.480 at the same time. If you've thought it, we've talked 0:00:51.520 --> 0:00:54.080 about it, or we're gonna be talking about it every week, 0:00:54.200 --> 0:00:56.320 check it out. Check it out. I see you there. 0:00:56.680 --> 0:01:00.960 Listen to Loan Lobos wherever you get your podcasts. I'm 0:01:01.040 --> 0:01:04.440 Tanya sam Post of the Money Moves podcast, powered by Greenwood. 0:01:04.640 --> 0:01:07.120 This daily podcast will help give you the keys to 0:01:07.160 --> 0:01:10.840 the Kingdom of financial stability, wealth and abundance with celebrity 0:01:10.880 --> 0:01:15.160 guests like Rick Ross, Amanda Selle's Angela Ye, Roland, Martin, JB. Smooth, 0:01:15.160 --> 0:01:17.400 and Terrell Owens. Tune in to learn how to turn 0:01:17.440 --> 0:01:23.720 liabilities into assets and make your money moves by subscribe 0:01:23.760 --> 0:01:26.039 to the Money Moves Podcast powered by Greenland on the 0:01:26.040 --> 0:01:28.839 I Heart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts, 0:01:29.080 --> 0:01:42.160 and make sure you leave a review. Hi, he said, 0:01:42.160 --> 0:01:44.839 you live in life as a lingo, where you question 0:01:44.920 --> 0:01:47.000 when you fit in every time you mingle, they say 0:01:47.040 --> 0:01:54.080 you do. This would not really bad. Yes, Hello, and 0:01:54.200 --> 0:01:57.640 welcome to another episode of Life as a Gringo. I 0:01:57.680 --> 0:02:00.920 am DRAMs of course. I hope you all had an 0:02:01.000 --> 0:02:05.400 incredible weekend. Man. I am excited about today's show because 0:02:05.400 --> 0:02:08.000 it's been a long time in the making. Uh. This 0:02:08.080 --> 0:02:11.840 is actually my first time ever doing a like collaborative 0:02:12.440 --> 0:02:16.440 podcast episode, which basically means it's gonna be a two parter. 0:02:16.760 --> 0:02:19.399 You'll get the first half of it here today with me, 0:02:19.639 --> 0:02:21.320 and then you're gonna have to get the second half 0:02:21.400 --> 0:02:24.400 of it on my guest or my guest co host, 0:02:24.440 --> 0:02:26.400 I should say for today's show, and I'll be on 0:02:26.520 --> 0:02:29.040 honest to say that my collap is with none other 0:02:29.120 --> 0:02:35.399 than a mal my fellow, Michael to a podcast network family. So, man, 0:02:35.480 --> 0:02:38.840 we're gonna get into a topic that a lot of 0:02:38.840 --> 0:02:42.040 people talk about. It's been a lot of weird glorification 0:02:42.160 --> 0:02:44.799 about this particular topic recently, So we're gonna dive into 0:02:44.840 --> 0:02:47.720 all of that. It's gonna get a little juicy. She's 0:02:47.760 --> 0:02:50.799 gonna spill some tea about herself and maybe I will too. 0:02:50.960 --> 0:02:56.959 As we talk about toxic relationships, right, toxic man, toxic women, 0:02:57.400 --> 0:03:00.160 and we all know them, toxic people that we've had 0:03:00.240 --> 0:03:03.880 or currently have in our lives. Then blood suckers. It 0:03:04.040 --> 0:03:06.600 just suck all your damn energy. And usually it's worse 0:03:06.639 --> 0:03:08.920 when some of you're actually dating, because it's just harder 0:03:08.960 --> 0:03:10.799 and harder to get the funk away from that person. 0:03:11.120 --> 0:03:13.639 So we'll get into all that, and actually we're gonna 0:03:13.680 --> 0:03:16.560 hop right into it. So no for the people in 0:03:16.600 --> 0:03:19.560 the back and today's show, any other normal listeners to 0:03:19.600 --> 0:03:21.120 the show know that I do a bit of a 0:03:21.120 --> 0:03:23.280 deep dive start off the show usually, but we're actually 0:03:23.280 --> 0:03:26.240 just gonna hop right into me hence this segment of 0:03:26.360 --> 0:03:39.000 our show with my partner for this episode. I'm excited. 0:03:39.280 --> 0:03:42.960 I got family in the building. Like I said earlier, 0:03:43.400 --> 0:03:48.680 my fellow Michael through the podcast Network. Family here with 0:03:48.720 --> 0:03:52.800 me right now, Mala Negra. It's good to see you, 0:03:53.400 --> 0:03:56.360 gang ging gang. Good to see you. By the way. 0:03:56.400 --> 0:03:59.080 I love your energy. You're always lit, so you know 0:03:59.080 --> 0:04:02.480 what I'm saying. Yeah, and I heard your podcast is 0:04:02.520 --> 0:04:07.360 doing amazing the numbers. Listen, it's it's been good. I've 0:04:07.400 --> 0:04:11.120 been enjoying this ride. I'm really having fun with it. Yeah, 0:04:11.360 --> 0:04:13.800 that's we don't want me too. I am so grateful 0:04:13.840 --> 0:04:16.440 that we do that. Podcast Network gave us an opportunity 0:04:16.640 --> 0:04:20.760 to really showcase who we are, be exactly who we 0:04:20.839 --> 0:04:23.560 are and um, and I'm enjoying the right too. This 0:04:23.600 --> 0:04:26.120 is something completely but I'm not completely but it was 0:04:26.160 --> 0:04:29.440 something new to me. I actually really like it. That's 0:04:29.480 --> 0:04:31.920 good to hear. I was. I was wondering because it's 0:04:31.920 --> 0:04:34.800 definitely a little bit different. It's like still you expressing yourself, 0:04:34.800 --> 0:04:37.040 but it's a little bit different. But I've been hearing 0:04:37.120 --> 0:04:39.960 that you've been getting pretty juicy on your podcast, so 0:04:40.320 --> 0:04:42.039 I was I was hoping you could kind of bring 0:04:42.080 --> 0:04:44.520 some of that energy over here just a little bit. 0:04:44.720 --> 0:04:48.160 But I just want to know how juicy, how juice 0:04:48.200 --> 0:04:52.400 can I give you? Let's let's just go ahead and 0:04:52.440 --> 0:04:54.400 get get into it. I'm gonna tell my parents to 0:04:54.480 --> 0:04:58.279 tune out right now of this episode, my mom, Hi, Dad, 0:04:59.640 --> 0:05:01.599 I watch out of tune out of this one right here, 0:05:02.120 --> 0:05:06.479 because we already talking about relationships, but not just relationships, 0:05:07.000 --> 0:05:12.360 toxic relationships, right, Yes, yes we are, yes, and I've 0:05:12.400 --> 0:05:16.560 been in a couple of those myself in my younger years. Ama, 0:05:16.680 --> 0:05:18.440 I'm not going to speak for you, but have you 0:05:18.760 --> 0:05:22.400 found yourself, you know, smitten by a toxic man on 0:05:22.440 --> 0:05:25.200 an occasion? I mean, I think that every single relationship 0:05:25.240 --> 0:05:27.920 I've been in has been a toxic relationship, even or not. 0:05:28.279 --> 0:05:31.560 I don't think I've ever been in a good stable relationship, 0:05:31.800 --> 0:05:34.599 even the relationship that I am in now that we 0:05:34.680 --> 0:05:36.320 kind of are, but not really because I don't know 0:05:36.360 --> 0:05:39.880 what the hell is going on? Okay, I think that 0:05:39.920 --> 0:05:42.239 you know, this started off as toxic and it's still 0:05:42.240 --> 0:05:45.840 currently a toxic relationship. Isn't that trash? That? I mean? 0:05:46.279 --> 0:05:47.960 All right, let we gotta I want to dive into that. 0:05:47.960 --> 0:05:49.880 Now you're setting the stage for some real juicy this, 0:05:49.960 --> 0:05:52.000 which I like, why don't we Why don't we set 0:05:52.040 --> 0:05:55.600 the tone first? What what would you consider like toxic behavior? Like, 0:05:55.640 --> 0:05:59.200 when we're talking toxic relationships, what does that mean? Well 0:05:59.240 --> 0:06:02.039 to me? In my case is like, if you're the 0:06:02.040 --> 0:06:05.279 type of person that you're like, um, digging in people's 0:06:05.279 --> 0:06:08.799 phones trying to see their messages or whenever the phone 0:06:08.800 --> 0:06:12.520 brings who's calling you or dad or like face timing, 0:06:12.640 --> 0:06:17.080 let me see who's around you, that's toxic. Um. Obviously 0:06:17.120 --> 0:06:19.200 not being able to have certain type of friends around 0:06:19.440 --> 0:06:21.960 I mean, I'm one of those though. That's one of 0:06:22.000 --> 0:06:24.880 my topics. That's what I'm gonna ask you. I don't 0:06:24.880 --> 0:06:28.120 have a problem you having friends like girlfriends, nor you 0:06:28.160 --> 0:06:30.200 can have guy friends. We can have girlfriends, that's cool, 0:06:30.240 --> 0:06:32.679 that's cool. But if your girlfriend has the fat ass 0:06:32.680 --> 0:06:36.479 and her tips is always out and doing all that, 0:06:36.760 --> 0:06:39.320 no she has to go. We're not doing this, Okay, 0:06:39.360 --> 0:06:42.599 So let's let's start there. Because you're you're you're touching 0:06:42.600 --> 0:06:46.040 on a couple of my like, no goes. If I'm 0:06:46.080 --> 0:06:49.120 being honest here, when I get into a relationship, I 0:06:49.160 --> 0:06:53.960 can't deal with jealousy personally, okay, so let as you 0:06:54.040 --> 0:06:56.960 suck your teeth. Okay, I mean why why do you 0:06:57.040 --> 0:06:59.560 kind of feel like that that's the case, Like, what 0:06:59.760 --> 0:07:01.440 is it with your relationship? You feel like you need 0:07:01.440 --> 0:07:03.560 to draw the line there. I think that you know 0:07:03.600 --> 0:07:05.720 what realistically, and I know that the girls can relate 0:07:05.760 --> 0:07:08.280 with me. Girls, I know you hear me. I feel 0:07:08.279 --> 0:07:10.400 that's certain men know how to make you feel secure, 0:07:11.160 --> 0:07:13.520 like you could be surrounded by a whole bunch of 0:07:13.600 --> 0:07:15.800 beautiful women. I'm the first one to be like, damn, baby, 0:07:15.800 --> 0:07:17.800 look at her, she's pretty, right, or like, oh my god, 0:07:17.840 --> 0:07:19.680 look at her, butter, look at I'm cool as hell. 0:07:19.720 --> 0:07:21.920 I don't have a problem with that. But it's a 0:07:21.920 --> 0:07:24.600 certain energy that your man has to give you in 0:07:24.640 --> 0:07:27.320 your relationship to make it like it could be a 0:07:27.320 --> 0:07:30.800 whole bunch of women knowing that I can admire whatever 0:07:31.040 --> 0:07:33.960 and not be like drooling or like breaking your neck 0:07:34.400 --> 0:07:36.920 trying to like because as a woman, we know what 0:07:36.960 --> 0:07:39.400 are men like, we know what who can be your 0:07:39.440 --> 0:07:44.320 type or not. So that's what I refer to. But Nikki, 0:07:44.360 --> 0:07:47.240 because I'm a I'm an entertainer, I'm in the entertainment industry, 0:07:47.360 --> 0:07:50.360 I'm surrounded by men and women all day. Whoever's with me, 0:07:50.440 --> 0:07:54.240 you definitely can't be jealous. So it's just the energy, 0:07:54.360 --> 0:07:56.440 like whenever I have a man, I'm gonna let it 0:07:56.480 --> 0:07:59.120 be known, this is my man. I love him, I 0:07:59.120 --> 0:08:01.680 respect him, y'all can admire me, but at the end 0:08:01.680 --> 0:08:04.480 of the day, he's the one getting all of this Becausten, 0:08:04.760 --> 0:08:07.200 you bring up, you bring up a great point where 0:08:07.200 --> 0:08:09.440 you talk about the man has to make you feel 0:08:09.440 --> 0:08:12.440 secure and this is this is something I've just begun 0:08:12.480 --> 0:08:15.600 to learn now in my current relationship about where I 0:08:15.720 --> 0:08:18.880 lack right. So I think there's a difference between a 0:08:18.920 --> 0:08:22.000 woman who is just like out of her mind crazy 0:08:22.080 --> 0:08:24.880 jealous at all times no matter what you do, and 0:08:24.920 --> 0:08:27.440 then there's like the understandable aspect of it where it's 0:08:27.480 --> 0:08:30.840 like you are not making your woman feel secure in 0:08:30.880 --> 0:08:33.480 your relationship, so her mind is gonna end up kind 0:08:33.520 --> 0:08:36.319 of drifting or wandering to some strange places. So let's 0:08:36.360 --> 0:08:38.800 let's talk about that from from your perspective. For like 0:08:38.840 --> 0:08:41.040 a dude, what are like the traits that kind of 0:08:41.080 --> 0:08:43.240 make you feel like like is he doing something else 0:08:43.240 --> 0:08:45.440 like that don't allow you to feel very secure in 0:08:45.440 --> 0:08:50.319 your relationship? And girls, we already know this look saying. 0:08:51.440 --> 0:08:54.240 If you know what I'm saying, Okay, the flipping of 0:08:54.320 --> 0:08:57.400 the phone, the phone is always get turned down like 0:08:57.440 --> 0:08:59.960 the faces down, so whenever your phone brings, nobody can 0:09:00.080 --> 0:09:02.720 see who's calling. Um, if you go to the bathroom 0:09:02.760 --> 0:09:05.440 and you take ten hours, first of all, nobody takes 0:09:05.440 --> 0:09:07.720 a shape for that long. If you're in the bathroom 0:09:07.760 --> 0:09:10.080 for like three hours and you have your phone and 0:09:10.120 --> 0:09:11.520 I see you on the WhatsApp or I see you 0:09:11.559 --> 0:09:15.720 on the Instagram or whatever, yeah, it's a problem. Um. 0:09:15.800 --> 0:09:20.079 If you are hanging out with your homeboys more than 0:09:20.120 --> 0:09:22.439 you are with your girl or not finding that balance, 0:09:22.559 --> 0:09:25.400 that's also an issue. If you all of a sudden 0:09:25.440 --> 0:09:27.360 in front of your friends act a certain type of 0:09:27.400 --> 0:09:30.640 way because you want to you know what I'm saying, 0:09:30.640 --> 0:09:34.320 Oh this is my girl. Now you have to always 0:09:34.360 --> 0:09:36.320 show respect to your girl. Let it be known that 0:09:36.360 --> 0:09:38.480 you respect. The way that you treat the girls in 0:09:38.559 --> 0:09:40.920 the street shouldn't be the same way you treat the 0:09:40.920 --> 0:09:45.760 woman that you're with. You know, Um, there's certain little demeanors, 0:09:45.760 --> 0:09:49.240 there's certain little things that that women we don't appreciate 0:09:49.280 --> 0:09:51.840 while being in a relationship with a manner dating someone 0:09:52.120 --> 0:09:56.480 that automatically makes us feel insecure, Like and I don't 0:09:56.520 --> 0:09:58.640 know the girlfriends. That's another thing. Like I said earlier, 0:09:58.960 --> 0:10:00.560 we don't have a problem you have. You know, all 0:10:00.640 --> 0:10:02.280 this has been my friends since I was a freshman 0:10:02.280 --> 0:10:05.160 in high school. Not my cool you know, all that 0:10:05.200 --> 0:10:11.880 touchy touchy you guys just hanging Okay, we're going we're 0:10:11.920 --> 0:10:16.840 all going together. Okay, okay, so is it? See this 0:10:16.920 --> 0:10:18.680 is the issue I think I've had in a couple 0:10:18.720 --> 0:10:23.120 of past relationships where they wanted to control my life. Essentially. 0:10:23.120 --> 0:10:25.240 I feel like you know what I mean, Like every 0:10:25.320 --> 0:10:27.960 move that I made had to be approved by this 0:10:28.200 --> 0:10:30.720 by this person, and that person was not something that 0:10:30.880 --> 0:10:34.400 I was able to deal with, you know. But but 0:10:34.559 --> 0:10:37.760 control what do you mean control? Because that's another thing, ladies, 0:10:38.160 --> 0:10:39.680 that's another thing. They'd be like, oh, you're trying to 0:10:39.720 --> 0:10:41.920 control me. What is it that you felt that they're 0:10:41.960 --> 0:10:44.160 trying to control you? Like how I mean, listen, I 0:10:44.240 --> 0:10:48.199 don't have to explain my whereabouts at all times necessarily, 0:10:48.240 --> 0:10:50.360 like if we if we end up on the phone, 0:10:50.400 --> 0:10:51.960 like you call me when I'm out and about and 0:10:52.120 --> 0:10:54.080 obviously like yeah, yeah, I'm out here hanging out with 0:10:54.120 --> 0:10:55.920 my boys I grabbed the drink after work or something 0:10:55.960 --> 0:10:58.120 like that. But like, I don't I don't need to 0:10:58.160 --> 0:10:59.920 be like texting like hey, just so you know I'm 0:10:59.920 --> 0:11:01.400 doing this, just you know I'm gonna do this, just 0:11:01.440 --> 0:11:03.439 you know I'm gonna do that. Where I've had past 0:11:03.480 --> 0:11:05.280 relationships or girls that I was hanging out when I 0:11:05.280 --> 0:11:07.960 was younger that were like trying to keep tabs on 0:11:08.040 --> 0:11:11.560 me essentially and everything that I did. Yeah, well that's true. 0:11:11.640 --> 0:11:13.719 I mean I'm not that type of girl because I'm 0:11:13.840 --> 0:11:16.160 very busy, so I don't have that Like I feel 0:11:16.160 --> 0:11:18.120 like that's the other thing. As women fambing, we need 0:11:18.160 --> 0:11:21.440 to make ourselves more busy. Make yourself busy and get 0:11:21.440 --> 0:11:24.600 a facial start cleaning, washing clothes, and event that they 0:11:24.760 --> 0:11:27.800 will do something, so that you're not like necessarily having 0:11:27.840 --> 0:11:29.720 all this free time to be concerned all the time 0:11:29.760 --> 0:11:32.360 about what your significant other is doing. At the end 0:11:32.400 --> 0:11:33.880 of the day, when a man or a woman wants 0:11:33.880 --> 0:11:36.240 to do something, they're gonna do it regardless. So you're 0:11:36.280 --> 0:11:41.000 spending all this extra energy and going crazy. Really isn't 0:11:41.000 --> 0:11:43.800 gonna make a difference. I don't care if Bay is like, oh, 0:11:43.840 --> 0:11:45.480 I'm out here with my boys went and we had 0:11:45.480 --> 0:11:51.080 a drink. Old if I hear in the background, oh 0:11:51.360 --> 0:11:54.800 no maybe, oh okay, Oh my god, I misses so 0:11:54.880 --> 0:11:57.280 much FaceTime me right now? What if I'm just beating 0:11:57.400 --> 0:11:59.680 like the wing man from my friend, like he's trying 0:11:59.679 --> 0:12:01.560 to be single, he's trying to go pick up girls, 0:12:01.600 --> 0:12:03.280 and I'm just like hanging out, you know what I'm saying, 0:12:03.280 --> 0:12:07.000 just being social to help him out. And then oh, al, 0:12:07.200 --> 0:12:11.160 because you're the helper. I get No, you're the helper 0:12:11.320 --> 0:12:14.120 right now? No, no, no, no no, And how do 0:12:14.160 --> 0:12:15.679 I know that that girl is for him and not 0:12:15.800 --> 0:12:20.240 for you? See, you can trust. It's trust, though, isn't it? 0:12:21.480 --> 0:12:26.360 I know? I know? Okay, you know? Is you know 0:12:26.360 --> 0:12:29.720 what it is? Women? We are protectors. We protect what 0:12:29.920 --> 0:12:33.560 is ours would be? Is there natural nature to be nurturers? 0:12:33.920 --> 0:12:36.400 It's like once I give you my tought, once I 0:12:36.440 --> 0:12:39.160 give you my my cookie, you belong to me like 0:12:39.240 --> 0:12:43.160 your mother gave birth to you. So life happy. So 0:12:43.160 --> 0:12:46.320 so it's like I shall protect this. And then once 0:12:46.360 --> 0:12:48.440 you do that, I think that a lot of times, 0:12:48.520 --> 0:12:52.400 um guys can misunderstand that in the street. I'm not 0:12:52.440 --> 0:12:54.960 gonna say there isn't but my guys can misunderstand when 0:12:54.960 --> 0:12:58.400 the girl's being protective, when the girl's being concerned. Um, 0:12:58.480 --> 0:13:01.200 sometimes girls is way too concer earned. But you know, 0:13:01.480 --> 0:13:03.360 like for example, oh my god, I'm about to tell 0:13:03.360 --> 0:13:05.360 you something. I also said this on exactly I'm out 0:13:05.360 --> 0:13:09.280 on my podcast, but um, I have a GPS in 0:13:09.360 --> 0:13:11.680 my man's car. What do you mean the GPS in 0:13:11.720 --> 0:13:16.920 your man's car? So what I happened was, so what 0:13:17.000 --> 0:13:19.800 I happened was I went to the I went to 0:13:19.880 --> 0:13:22.679 the to the cable store whatever, and they had a 0:13:22.720 --> 0:13:24.880 who went too little packs and then I was just 0:13:24.960 --> 0:13:27.319 I always liked the text stuff. So it's like, oh, 0:13:27.360 --> 0:13:30.040 here's the doorbell, here's the cameras, here's the security thing. 0:13:30.120 --> 0:13:31.960 And I was like, oh my god, what is this 0:13:32.000 --> 0:13:33.720 And they're like, oh no, So this is like a 0:13:33.720 --> 0:13:36.440 little a little GPS basically that you put inside your 0:13:36.440 --> 0:13:39.320 wallet or your car or whatever the case may be, 0:13:39.559 --> 0:13:41.760 your keys so that you don't lose it like that 0:13:41.920 --> 0:13:44.240 off your phone you can just track it. And then 0:13:44.240 --> 0:13:45.840 I was like, oh, this is great. So I have 0:13:45.920 --> 0:13:48.000 one in my wallet so just in case somebody steals 0:13:48.000 --> 0:13:50.320 my wallet and know exactly where that I have one 0:13:50.360 --> 0:13:53.880 in my keys and then I was like, let me 0:13:53.960 --> 0:13:57.160 try and see how far does this app really work? 0:13:57.880 --> 0:14:00.800 And then I went and one day he came out 0:14:00.840 --> 0:14:02.680 of the car to put gas, and when he went inside, 0:14:02.720 --> 0:14:05.320 I just dropped it. I dropped it inside the car 0:14:05.760 --> 0:14:07.600 where he can't get it out. Even if he goes 0:14:07.679 --> 0:14:10.840 cleans the car, you will never find it. And now 0:14:10.920 --> 0:14:14.160 I tracked him, well, I don't do it anymore, right, 0:14:14.280 --> 0:14:17.199 don't do it anymore. I still have it in there 0:14:17.480 --> 0:14:19.480 and you don't have to change the batteries for like 0:14:19.560 --> 0:14:23.320 three years. So it was perfect. What can we analyze 0:14:23.320 --> 0:14:26.200 and break this down just a little bit? And I 0:14:26.360 --> 0:14:29.920 told him. I told him afterwards. But how did he react? 0:14:31.520 --> 0:14:33.680 He he looked at me like he didn't believe me. 0:14:34.160 --> 0:14:37.960 I told them, because that's another thing women guys pay 0:14:37.960 --> 0:14:40.200 attention to this. Women will be saying things and you 0:14:40.200 --> 0:14:43.640 don't pay attention. It's like when girls say, oh, you 0:14:43.680 --> 0:14:45.960 know what, I'm gonna go for your friend. How about that? 0:14:48.040 --> 0:14:50.560 She actually may have said something that you got paid 0:14:50.560 --> 0:14:53.440 at time, because I'll be like, you know what, I 0:14:53.440 --> 0:14:55.920 would put a GPS in your car, Go ahead, I 0:14:55.960 --> 0:14:58.880 don't care, Okay. So I actually did do it. And 0:14:58.920 --> 0:15:00.560 then one day I was in the cart and I 0:15:00.680 --> 0:15:02.720 just clicked the thing and again and it went bip, 0:15:03.840 --> 0:15:05.880 just to let him know, you hear that I wasn't 0:15:05.880 --> 0:15:09.160 playing is in here and then looking see I'm a 0:15:09.160 --> 0:15:12.000 little toxic, right, That's what I mean. Listen, I was 0:15:12.000 --> 0:15:14.240 gonna say, but I think that there's hope for you, 0:15:14.320 --> 0:15:17.760 because I want to know what is it about your 0:15:17.800 --> 0:15:20.800 current relationship and your past relationship that drives you to 0:15:20.920 --> 0:15:24.040 this type of behavior that makes your mind automatically go there. 0:15:24.960 --> 0:15:27.960 To be honest, I think that he should appreciate what 0:15:28.000 --> 0:15:34.200 I did for him, really, yes, the GPS appreciate that 0:15:35.080 --> 0:15:39.720 because I'm concerned about his safety in this world and 0:15:39.800 --> 0:15:43.160 I'm just trying to protect him. So you know, I 0:15:43.200 --> 0:15:46.080 think that he should be grateful. Like God forbid, somebody 0:15:46.080 --> 0:15:49.440 steals his car and guess who can find it? I can't, 0:15:49.680 --> 0:15:53.560 So you should really be grateful. Yes, oh my god. 0:15:54.800 --> 0:15:57.400 All right, we got more with the Mota just a 0:15:57.400 --> 0:16:00.200 little bit. But first let's take a quick break, ache, 0:16:00.280 --> 0:16:04.640 and then we'll be right back. I'm Ev Rodsky, author 0:16:04.680 --> 0:16:06.840 of the New York Times bestseller of fair Play and 0:16:06.880 --> 0:16:10.040 Find Your Unicorn Space activists on the gender division of 0:16:10.120 --> 0:16:13.640 labor attorney and family mediator. And I'm Dr ad eating 0:16:13.680 --> 0:16:16.880 A Routcar, a Harvard physician and medical correspondent with an 0:16:16.880 --> 0:16:20.840 expertise and the science of stress, resilience, mental health and burnout. 0:16:21.120 --> 0:16:24.040 We're so excited to share our podcast Time Out, a 0:16:24.120 --> 0:16:28.479 production of I Heart Podcasts and Hello Sunshine. We're uncovering 0:16:28.480 --> 0:16:31.080 why society makes it so hard for women to treat 0:16:31.120 --> 0:16:33.680 their time with the value it deserves. So take this 0:16:33.840 --> 0:16:37.120 time out with us. Listen to Time Out, a fair 0:16:37.160 --> 0:16:40.800 play podcast on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, 0:16:41.000 --> 0:16:46.120 or wherever you get your podcasts. The Black Effect Presents 0:16:46.280 --> 0:16:50.440 features honest conversations and exclusive interviews, a space for artists, 0:16:50.480 --> 0:16:54.880 everyday people and listeners to amplify, elevate, and empower black 0:16:55.000 --> 0:16:58.480 voices with great conversations. Make sure to listen to The 0:16:58.480 --> 0:17:02.280 Black Effect Presents podcast on I Heart Radio, Apple podcast 0:17:02.440 --> 0:17:08.240 or wherever you get your podcast. I'm Tanya sam Post 0:17:08.320 --> 0:17:11.359 of the Money Moves podcast powered by Greenwood. This daily 0:17:11.400 --> 0:17:13.800 podcast will help give you the keys to the Kingdom 0:17:13.800 --> 0:17:17.479 of financial stability, wealth and abundance with celebrity guests like 0:17:17.600 --> 0:17:21.320 Rick Ross, Amanda Sells, Angela y Roland, Martin JB. Smooth 0:17:21.320 --> 0:17:23.560 and Terrell Owens. Tune in to learn how to turn 0:17:23.640 --> 0:17:29.879 liabilities into assets and make your money Moves up. Subscribe 0:17:29.920 --> 0:17:32.199 to the Money Moves podcast powered by Greenland on the 0:17:32.200 --> 0:17:35.000 I Heart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts, 0:17:35.240 --> 0:17:38.000 and make sure you leave a review. All Right, we're back, 0:17:38.520 --> 0:17:40.439 and you touched on a couple of things that I 0:17:40.480 --> 0:17:43.399 want to get into. And you talk about how a 0:17:43.480 --> 0:17:46.120 woman when she gives it up right now, the men 0:17:46.320 --> 0:17:49.159 basically ohs or something, and I am I am an 0:17:49.200 --> 0:17:52.199 agreement with that because I think as men, we're just 0:17:52.280 --> 0:17:54.600 at their fucking whatever kind of comes in our way, 0:17:54.640 --> 0:17:56.760 you know, staying back in my single days. I'm gonna 0:17:56.840 --> 0:17:59.400 preface that by saying, but you know, we're out there 0:17:59.520 --> 0:18:02.800 just doing thing right. But for women, there is, obviously, 0:18:02.880 --> 0:18:05.280 with society a lot more stigma that's attached to it, 0:18:05.359 --> 0:18:07.000 you know. I mean, when you're brought up your your 0:18:07.200 --> 0:18:10.200 most people are taught to really value their body, especially women. 0:18:10.240 --> 0:18:12.280 You know, that's just the way that it is in society. 0:18:12.320 --> 0:18:14.879 I'm not gonna say, you know, there's right and wrong. Mean, 0:18:14.920 --> 0:18:17.200 obviously women shouldn't be shamed for being sexual and things 0:18:17.240 --> 0:18:19.199 like that, but just you know, when it comes to 0:18:19.200 --> 0:18:21.879 the norms, obviously, there's a little bit more especially in 0:18:21.880 --> 0:18:25.159 the Latin culture. Question. In the Latin culture, absolutely, so 0:18:25.160 --> 0:18:26.840 there's a little bit more thought when it goes into 0:18:26.880 --> 0:18:29.480 sleeping with somebody from the woman's perspective. So I do, 0:18:30.040 --> 0:18:35.440 I do understand that, But what did you say that 0:18:35.680 --> 0:18:38.760 if you had any doubt about this man to begin with, 0:18:38.840 --> 0:18:41.160 you probably should not have given it up to him. Then, 0:18:42.320 --> 0:18:46.119 I know. But the thing is about being a toxic 0:18:46.359 --> 0:18:49.560 person is that you know what I really feel. Going 0:18:49.560 --> 0:18:53.600 on a deeper level, I think that sometimes toxic people 0:18:53.720 --> 0:18:57.440 attract toxic people, and we do that to each other 0:18:57.520 --> 0:18:59.879 because there's a lot of healing that we have to have. 0:19:00.520 --> 0:19:04.720 But there's healings from past relationships, your upbringing, your mother, 0:19:04.800 --> 0:19:07.680 your father not being in your life. There's many things. 0:19:07.720 --> 0:19:10.000 In my case, I live on realized that I was 0:19:10.040 --> 0:19:12.520 always looking for men that didn't want me, and I've 0:19:12.520 --> 0:19:15.600 been very open about it. Any man that like if 0:19:15.640 --> 0:19:17.240 there's a whole bunch of men and they're all like 0:19:17.400 --> 0:19:21.080 feeding for me, okay, but there's that one guy that's like, oh, 0:19:21.119 --> 0:19:23.399 you're not really my type, and it's like, oh, you 0:19:23.520 --> 0:19:27.240 don't like me? Why I must have you. So it's 0:19:27.280 --> 0:19:31.840 like that toxic energy. I also eventually understood and realize 0:19:31.880 --> 0:19:34.520 doing some deep searchs that that comes from being a 0:19:34.560 --> 0:19:38.480 fatherless daughter. Not having my father in my life always 0:19:38.480 --> 0:19:40.320 made me have to feel like I need to have 0:19:40.440 --> 0:19:43.239 that acceptance from that man, and it comes from that 0:19:43.280 --> 0:19:46.040 man that doesn't want me. And this is me going 0:19:46.080 --> 0:19:48.680 into deeper stuff, like there's a lot of girls that 0:19:48.880 --> 0:19:51.720 are raised without fathers, and even if you don't realize it, 0:19:52.080 --> 0:19:53.840 some of the decisions that you make when it comes 0:19:53.840 --> 0:19:57.080 to dating comes from that. You know, you never had 0:19:57.119 --> 0:19:59.680 that protector. So you deal with a guy that can 0:19:59.680 --> 0:20:02.600 be that seems like he's a protector, but part of 0:20:02.640 --> 0:20:05.320 that is that he's rude or disrespectful or makes you 0:20:05.320 --> 0:20:07.240 put up with a lot of nonsense, and you're like, 0:20:07.440 --> 0:20:09.840 he loves me, you put up with a lot of stuff. 0:20:11.880 --> 0:20:14.000 Let's not leave men behind. There's a lot of men 0:20:14.000 --> 0:20:16.280 out here that, because of society and everything else, we're 0:20:16.280 --> 0:20:20.600 taught or we teach them men don't cry, suck it up, 0:20:20.880 --> 0:20:23.639 be a man about it. And it's like you'll be 0:20:23.720 --> 0:20:26.040 in these relationships where you know this girl is not 0:20:26.119 --> 0:20:28.199 good for you. You know this girl is sucking the 0:20:28.240 --> 0:20:31.440 life out of you. She's like pulling you back from 0:20:31.480 --> 0:20:33.000 where you really need to be. There's a lot of 0:20:33.000 --> 0:20:35.919 things that you really think about it deeply that is 0:20:35.920 --> 0:20:39.360 not just in a funny way of like, oh someone toxica, 0:20:39.480 --> 0:20:41.919 is like what happened for you to get to that 0:20:42.000 --> 0:20:45.399 point where you're okay accepting this, where you deal with 0:20:45.480 --> 0:20:48.040 these things and it's like a regular thing. You know, 0:20:48.280 --> 0:20:51.200