Speaker 1: From Cavalry Audio comes the new true crime podcast, The
Speaker 1: Shadow Girls. I grew up near the banks of the
Speaker 1: Green River and in the shadow of the killer that
Speaker 1: bears its name. Prosecutors described him as a serial killer survived,
Speaker 1: but this podcast isn't only about tracking down the killer.
Speaker 1: It's about the victims. We stayed in the woods. He
Speaker 1: always liked to go into words. Listen to The Shadow
Speaker 1: Girls on the I Heart Radio app, on Apple Podcasts
Speaker 1: or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, what's up. I'm
Speaker 1: Jacob Bertrand and I'm Solo Mighty and this is the
Speaker 1: Loan Lobos Podcast. Now you may know us from Cobra
Speaker 1: Kai or some of the other projects we've been on,
Speaker 1: but we've got a podcast coming out. Yeah, and every
Speaker 1: week we're gonna be shooting given our hardest takes on adulthood,
Speaker 1: growing up in the industry, talking about everything and nothing
Speaker 1: at the same time. If you've thought it, we've talked
Speaker 1: about it, or we're gonna be talking about it every week,
Speaker 1: check it out. Check it out. I see you there.
Speaker 1: Listen to Loan Lobos wherever you get your podcasts. I'm
Speaker 1: Tanya sam Post of the Money Moves podcast, powered by Greenwood.
Speaker 1: This daily podcast will help give you the keys to
Speaker 1: the Kingdom of financial stability, wealth and abundance with celebrity
Speaker 1: guests like Rick Ross, Amanda Selle's Angela Ye, Roland, Martin, JB. Smooth,
Speaker 1: and Terrell Owens. Tune in to learn how to turn
Speaker 1: liabilities into assets and make your money moves by subscribe
Speaker 1: to the Money Moves Podcast powered by Greenland on the
Speaker 1: I Heart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts,
Speaker 1: and make sure you leave a review. Hi, he said,
Speaker 1: you live in life as a lingo, where you question
Speaker 1: when you fit in every time you mingle, they say
Speaker 1: you do. This would not really bad. Yes, Hello, and
Speaker 1: welcome to another episode of Life as a Gringo. I
Speaker 1: am DRAMs of course. I hope you all had an
Speaker 1: incredible weekend. Man. I am excited about today's show because
Speaker 1: it's been a long time in the making. Uh. This
Speaker 1: is actually my first time ever doing a like collaborative
Speaker 1: podcast episode, which basically means it's gonna be a two parter.
Speaker 1: You'll get the first half of it here today with me,
Speaker 1: and then you're gonna have to get the second half
Speaker 1: of it on my guest or my guest co host,
Speaker 1: I should say for today's show, and I'll be on
Speaker 1: honest to say that my collap is with none other
Speaker 1: than a mal my fellow, Michael to a podcast network family. So, man,
Speaker 1: we're gonna get into a topic that a lot of
Speaker 1: people talk about. It's been a lot of weird glorification
Speaker 1: about this particular topic recently, So we're gonna dive into
Speaker 1: all of that. It's gonna get a little juicy. She's
Speaker 1: gonna spill some tea about herself and maybe I will too.
Speaker 1: As we talk about toxic relationships, right, toxic man, toxic women,
Speaker 1: and we all know them, toxic people that we've had
Speaker 1: or currently have in our lives. Then blood suckers. It
Speaker 1: just suck all your damn energy. And usually it's worse
Speaker 1: when some of you're actually dating, because it's just harder
Speaker 1: and harder to get the funk away from that person.
Speaker 1: So we'll get into all that, and actually we're gonna
Speaker 1: hop right into it. So no for the people in
Speaker 1: the back and today's show, any other normal listeners to
Speaker 1: the show know that I do a bit of a
Speaker 1: deep dive start off the show usually, but we're actually
Speaker 1: just gonna hop right into me hence this segment of
Speaker 1: our show with my partner for this episode. I'm excited.
Speaker 1: I got family in the building. Like I said earlier,
Speaker 1: my fellow Michael through the podcast Network. Family here with
Speaker 1: me right now, Mala Negra. It's good to see you,
Speaker 1: gang ging gang. Good to see you. By the way.
Speaker 1: I love your energy. You're always lit, so you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. Yeah, and I heard your podcast is
Speaker 1: doing amazing the numbers. Listen, it's it's been good. I've
Speaker 1: been enjoying this ride. I'm really having fun with it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's we don't want me too. I am so grateful
Speaker 1: that we do that. Podcast Network gave us an opportunity
Speaker 1: to really showcase who we are, be exactly who we
Speaker 1: are and um, and I'm enjoying the right too. This
Speaker 1: is something completely but I'm not completely but it was
Speaker 1: something new to me. I actually really like it. That's
Speaker 1: good to hear. I was. I was wondering because it's
Speaker 1: definitely a little bit different. It's like still you expressing yourself,
Speaker 1: but it's a little bit different. But I've been hearing
Speaker 1: that you've been getting pretty juicy on your podcast, so
Speaker 1: I was I was hoping you could kind of bring
Speaker 1: some of that energy over here just a little bit.
Speaker 1: But I just want to know how juicy, how juice
Speaker 1: can I give you? Let's let's just go ahead and
Speaker 1: get get into it. I'm gonna tell my parents to
Speaker 1: tune out right now of this episode, my mom, Hi, Dad,
Speaker 1: I watch out of tune out of this one right here,
Speaker 1: because we already talking about relationships, but not just relationships,
Speaker 1: toxic relationships, right, Yes, yes we are, yes, and I've
Speaker 1: been in a couple of those myself in my younger years. Ama,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to speak for you, but have you
Speaker 1: found yourself, you know, smitten by a toxic man on
Speaker 1: an occasion? I mean, I think that every single relationship
Speaker 1: I've been in has been a toxic relationship, even or not.
Speaker 1: I don't think I've ever been in a good stable relationship,
Speaker 1: even the relationship that I am in now that we
Speaker 1: kind of are, but not really because I don't know
Speaker 1: what the hell is going on? Okay, I think that
Speaker 1: you know, this started off as toxic and it's still
Speaker 1: currently a toxic relationship. Isn't that trash? That? I mean?
Speaker 1: All right, let we gotta I want to dive into that.
Speaker 1: Now you're setting the stage for some real juicy this,
Speaker 1: which I like, why don't we Why don't we set
Speaker 1: the tone first? What what would you consider like toxic behavior? Like,
Speaker 1: when we're talking toxic relationships, what does that mean? Well
Speaker 1: to me? In my case is like, if you're the
Speaker 1: type of person that you're like, um, digging in people's
Speaker 1: phones trying to see their messages or whenever the phone
Speaker 1: brings who's calling you or dad or like face timing,
Speaker 1: let me see who's around you, that's toxic. Um. Obviously
Speaker 1: not being able to have certain type of friends around
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm one of those though. That's one of
Speaker 1: my topics. That's what I'm gonna ask you. I don't
Speaker 1: have a problem you having friends like girlfriends, nor you
Speaker 1: can have guy friends. We can have girlfriends, that's cool,
Speaker 1: that's cool. But if your girlfriend has the fat ass
Speaker 1: and her tips is always out and doing all that,
Speaker 1: no she has to go. We're not doing this, Okay,
Speaker 1: So let's let's start there. Because you're you're you're touching
Speaker 1: on a couple of my like, no goes. If I'm
Speaker 1: being honest here, when I get into a relationship, I
Speaker 1: can't deal with jealousy personally, okay, so let as you
Speaker 1: suck your teeth. Okay, I mean why why do you
Speaker 1: kind of feel like that that's the case, Like, what
Speaker 1: is it with your relationship? You feel like you need
Speaker 1: to draw the line there. I think that you know
Speaker 1: what realistically, and I know that the girls can relate
Speaker 1: with me. Girls, I know you hear me. I feel
Speaker 1: that's certain men know how to make you feel secure,
Speaker 1: like you could be surrounded by a whole bunch of
Speaker 1: beautiful women. I'm the first one to be like, damn, baby,
Speaker 1: look at her, she's pretty, right, or like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: look at her, butter, look at I'm cool as hell.
Speaker 1: I don't have a problem with that. But it's a
Speaker 1: certain energy that your man has to give you in
Speaker 1: your relationship to make it like it could be a
Speaker 1: whole bunch of women knowing that I can admire whatever
Speaker 1: and not be like drooling or like breaking your neck
Speaker 1: trying to like because as a woman, we know what
Speaker 1: are men like, we know what who can be your
Speaker 1: type or not. So that's what I refer to. But Nikki,
Speaker 1: because I'm a I'm an entertainer, I'm in the entertainment industry,
Speaker 1: I'm surrounded by men and women all day. Whoever's with me,
Speaker 1: you definitely can't be jealous. So it's just the energy,
Speaker 1: like whenever I have a man, I'm gonna let it
Speaker 1: be known, this is my man. I love him, I
Speaker 1: respect him, y'all can admire me, but at the end
Speaker 1: of the day, he's the one getting all of this Becausten,
Speaker 1: you bring up, you bring up a great point where
Speaker 1: you talk about the man has to make you feel
Speaker 1: secure and this is this is something I've just begun
Speaker 1: to learn now in my current relationship about where I
Speaker 1: lack right. So I think there's a difference between a
Speaker 1: woman who is just like out of her mind crazy
Speaker 1: jealous at all times no matter what you do, and
Speaker 1: then there's like the understandable aspect of it where it's
Speaker 1: like you are not making your woman feel secure in
Speaker 1: your relationship, so her mind is gonna end up kind
Speaker 1: of drifting or wandering to some strange places. So let's
Speaker 1: let's talk about that from from your perspective. For like
Speaker 1: a dude, what are like the traits that kind of
Speaker 1: make you feel like like is he doing something else
Speaker 1: like that don't allow you to feel very secure in
Speaker 1: your relationship? And girls, we already know this look saying.
Speaker 1: If you know what I'm saying, Okay, the flipping of
Speaker 1: the phone, the phone is always get turned down like
Speaker 1: the faces down, so whenever your phone brings, nobody can
Speaker 1: see who's calling. Um, if you go to the bathroom
Speaker 1: and you take ten hours, first of all, nobody takes
Speaker 1: a shape for that long. If you're in the bathroom
Speaker 1: for like three hours and you have your phone and
Speaker 1: I see you on the WhatsApp or I see you
Speaker 1: on the Instagram or whatever, yeah, it's a problem. Um.
Speaker 1: If you are hanging out with your homeboys more than
Speaker 1: you are with your girl or not finding that balance,
Speaker 1: that's also an issue. If you all of a sudden
Speaker 1: in front of your friends act a certain type of
Speaker 1: way because you want to you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: Oh this is my girl. Now you have to always
Speaker 1: show respect to your girl. Let it be known that
Speaker 1: you respect. The way that you treat the girls in
Speaker 1: the street shouldn't be the same way you treat the
Speaker 1: woman that you're with. You know, Um, there's certain little demeanors,
Speaker 1: there's certain little things that that women we don't appreciate
Speaker 1: while being in a relationship with a manner dating someone
Speaker 1: that automatically makes us feel insecure, Like and I don't
Speaker 1: know the girlfriends. That's another thing. Like I said earlier,
Speaker 1: we don't have a problem you have. You know, all
Speaker 1: this has been my friends since I was a freshman
Speaker 1: in high school. Not my cool you know, all that
Speaker 1: touchy touchy you guys just hanging Okay, we're going we're
Speaker 1: all going together. Okay, okay, so is it? See this
Speaker 1: is the issue I think I've had in a couple
Speaker 1: of past relationships where they wanted to control my life. Essentially.
Speaker 1: I feel like you know what I mean, Like every
Speaker 1: move that I made had to be approved by this
Speaker 1: by this person, and that person was not something that
Speaker 1: I was able to deal with, you know. But but
Speaker 1: control what do you mean control? Because that's another thing, ladies,
Speaker 1: that's another thing. They'd be like, oh, you're trying to
Speaker 1: control me. What is it that you felt that they're
Speaker 1: trying to control you? Like how I mean, listen, I
Speaker 1: don't have to explain my whereabouts at all times necessarily,
Speaker 1: like if we if we end up on the phone,
Speaker 1: like you call me when I'm out and about and
Speaker 1: obviously like yeah, yeah, I'm out here hanging out with
Speaker 1: my boys I grabbed the drink after work or something
Speaker 1: like that. But like, I don't I don't need to
Speaker 1: be like texting like hey, just so you know I'm
Speaker 1: doing this, just you know I'm gonna do this, just
Speaker 1: you know I'm gonna do that. Where I've had past
Speaker 1: relationships or girls that I was hanging out when I
Speaker 1: was younger that were like trying to keep tabs on
Speaker 1: me essentially and everything that I did. Yeah, well that's true.
Speaker 1: I mean I'm not that type of girl because I'm
Speaker 1: very busy, so I don't have that Like I feel
Speaker 1: like that's the other thing. As women fambing, we need
Speaker 1: to make ourselves more busy. Make yourself busy and get
Speaker 1: a facial start cleaning, washing clothes, and event that they
Speaker 1: will do something, so that you're not like necessarily having
Speaker 1: all this free time to be concerned all the time
Speaker 1: about what your significant other is doing. At the end
Speaker 1: of the day, when a man or a woman wants
Speaker 1: to do something, they're gonna do it regardless. So you're
Speaker 1: spending all this extra energy and going crazy. Really isn't
Speaker 1: gonna make a difference. I don't care if Bay is like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm out here with my boys went and we had
Speaker 1: a drink. Old if I hear in the background, oh
Speaker 1: no maybe, oh okay, Oh my god, I misses so
Speaker 1: much FaceTime me right now? What if I'm just beating
Speaker 1: like the wing man from my friend, like he's trying
Speaker 1: to be single, he's trying to go pick up girls,
Speaker 1: and I'm just like hanging out, you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: just being social to help him out. And then oh, al,
Speaker 1: because you're the helper. I get No, you're the helper
Speaker 1: right now? No, no, no, no no, And how do
Speaker 1: I know that that girl is for him and not
Speaker 1: for you? See, you can trust. It's trust, though, isn't it?
Speaker 1: I know? I know? Okay, you know? Is you know
Speaker 1: what it is? Women? We are protectors. We protect what
Speaker 1: is ours would be? Is there natural nature to be nurturers?
Speaker 1: It's like once I give you my tought, once I
Speaker 1: give you my my cookie, you belong to me like
Speaker 1: your mother gave birth to you. So life happy. So
Speaker 1: so it's like I shall protect this. And then once
Speaker 1: you do that, I think that a lot of times,
Speaker 1: um guys can misunderstand that in the street. I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna say there isn't but my guys can misunderstand when
Speaker 1: the girl's being protective, when the girl's being concerned. Um,
Speaker 1: sometimes girls is way too concer earned. But you know,
Speaker 1: like for example, oh my god, I'm about to tell
Speaker 1: you something. I also said this on exactly I'm out
Speaker 1: on my podcast, but um, I have a GPS in
Speaker 1: my man's car. What do you mean the GPS in
Speaker 1: your man's car? So what I happened was, so what
Speaker 1: I happened was I went to the I went to
Speaker 1: the to the cable store whatever, and they had a
Speaker 1: who went too little packs and then I was just
Speaker 1: I always liked the text stuff. So it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: here's the doorbell, here's the cameras, here's the security thing.
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh my god, what is this
Speaker 1: And they're like, oh no, So this is like a
Speaker 1: little a little GPS basically that you put inside your
Speaker 1: wallet or your car or whatever the case may be,
Speaker 1: your keys so that you don't lose it like that
Speaker 1: off your phone you can just track it. And then
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, this is great. So I have
Speaker 1: one in my wallet so just in case somebody steals
Speaker 1: my wallet and know exactly where that I have one
Speaker 1: in my keys and then I was like, let me
Speaker 1: try and see how far does this app really work?
Speaker 1: And then I went and one day he came out
Speaker 1: of the car to put gas, and when he went inside,
Speaker 1: I just dropped it. I dropped it inside the car
Speaker 1: where he can't get it out. Even if he goes
Speaker 1: cleans the car, you will never find it. And now
Speaker 1: I tracked him, well, I don't do it anymore, right,
Speaker 1: don't do it anymore. I still have it in there
Speaker 1: and you don't have to change the batteries for like
Speaker 1: three years. So it was perfect. What can we analyze
Speaker 1: and break this down just a little bit? And I
Speaker 1: told him. I told him afterwards. But how did he react?
Speaker 1: He he looked at me like he didn't believe me.
Speaker 1: I told them, because that's another thing women guys pay
Speaker 1: attention to this. Women will be saying things and you
Speaker 1: don't pay attention. It's like when girls say, oh, you
Speaker 1: know what, I'm gonna go for your friend. How about that?
Speaker 1: She actually may have said something that you got paid
Speaker 1: at time, because I'll be like, you know what, I
Speaker 1: would put a GPS in your car, Go ahead, I
Speaker 1: don't care, Okay. So I actually did do it. And
Speaker 1: then one day I was in the cart and I
Speaker 1: just clicked the thing and again and it went bip,
Speaker 1: just to let him know, you hear that I wasn't
Speaker 1: playing is in here and then looking see I'm a
Speaker 1: little toxic, right, That's what I mean. Listen, I was
Speaker 1: gonna say, but I think that there's hope for you,
Speaker 1: because I want to know what is it about your
Speaker 1: current relationship and your past relationship that drives you to
Speaker 1: this type of behavior that makes your mind automatically go there.
Speaker 1: To be honest, I think that he should appreciate what
Speaker 1: I did for him, really, yes, the GPS appreciate that
Speaker 1: because I'm concerned about his safety in this world and
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to protect him. So you know, I
Speaker 1: think that he should be grateful. Like God forbid, somebody
Speaker 1: steals his car and guess who can find it? I can't,
Speaker 1: So you should really be grateful. Yes, oh my god.
Speaker 1: All right, we got more with the Mota just a
Speaker 1: little bit. But first let's take a quick break, ache,
Speaker 1: and then we'll be right back. I'm Ev Rodsky, author
Speaker 1: of the New York Times bestseller of fair Play and
Speaker 1: Find Your Unicorn Space activists on the gender division of
Speaker 1: labor attorney and family mediator. And I'm Dr ad eating
Speaker 1: A Routcar, a Harvard physician and medical correspondent with an
Speaker 1: expertise and the science of stress, resilience, mental health and burnout.
Speaker 1: We're so excited to share our podcast Time Out, a
Speaker 1: production of I Heart Podcasts and Hello Sunshine. We're uncovering
Speaker 1: why society makes it so hard for women to treat
Speaker 1: their time with the value it deserves. So take this
Speaker 1: time out with us. Listen to Time Out, a fair
Speaker 1: play podcast on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
Speaker 1: or wherever you get your podcasts. The Black Effect Presents
Speaker 1: features honest conversations and exclusive interviews, a space for artists,
Speaker 1: everyday people and listeners to amplify, elevate, and empower black
Speaker 1: voices with great conversations. Make sure to listen to The
Speaker 1: Black Effect Presents podcast on I Heart Radio, Apple podcast
Speaker 1: or wherever you get your podcast. I'm Tanya sam Post
Speaker 1: of the Money Moves podcast powered by Greenwood. This daily
Speaker 1: podcast will help give you the keys to the Kingdom
Speaker 1: of financial stability, wealth and abundance with celebrity guests like
Speaker 1: Rick Ross, Amanda Sells, Angela y Roland, Martin JB. Smooth
Speaker 1: and Terrell Owens. Tune in to learn how to turn
Speaker 1: liabilities into assets and make your money Moves up. Subscribe
Speaker 1: to the Money Moves podcast powered by Greenland on the
Speaker 1: I Heart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts,
Speaker 1: and make sure you leave a review. All Right, we're back,
Speaker 1: and you touched on a couple of things that I
Speaker 1: want to get into. And you talk about how a
Speaker 1: woman when she gives it up right now, the men
Speaker 1: basically ohs or something, and I am I am an
Speaker 1: agreement with that because I think as men, we're just
Speaker 1: at their fucking whatever kind of comes in our way,
Speaker 1: you know, staying back in my single days. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: preface that by saying, but you know, we're out there
Speaker 1: just doing thing right. But for women, there is, obviously,
Speaker 1: with society a lot more stigma that's attached to it,
Speaker 1: you know. I mean, when you're brought up your your
Speaker 1: most people are taught to really value their body, especially women.
Speaker 1: You know, that's just the way that it is in society.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna say, you know, there's right and wrong. Mean,
Speaker 1: obviously women shouldn't be shamed for being sexual and things
Speaker 1: like that, but just you know, when it comes to
Speaker 1: the norms, obviously, there's a little bit more especially in
Speaker 1: the Latin culture. Question. In the Latin culture, absolutely, so
Speaker 1: there's a little bit more thought when it goes into
Speaker 1: sleeping with somebody from the woman's perspective. So I do,
Speaker 1: I do understand that, But what did you say that
Speaker 1: if you had any doubt about this man to begin with,
Speaker 1: you probably should not have given it up to him. Then,
Speaker 1: I know. But the thing is about being a toxic
Speaker 1: person is that you know what I really feel. Going
Speaker 1: on a deeper level, I think that sometimes toxic people
Speaker 1: attract toxic people, and we do that to each other
Speaker 1: because there's a lot of healing that we have to have.
Speaker 1: But there's healings from past relationships, your upbringing, your mother,
Speaker 1: your father not being in your life. There's many things.
Speaker 1: In my case, I live on realized that I was
Speaker 1: always looking for men that didn't want me, and I've
Speaker 1: been very open about it. Any man that like if
Speaker 1: there's a whole bunch of men and they're all like
Speaker 1: feeding for me, okay, but there's that one guy that's like, oh,
Speaker 1: you're not really my type, and it's like, oh, you
Speaker 1: don't like me? Why I must have you. So it's
Speaker 1: like that toxic energy. I also eventually understood and realize
Speaker 1: doing some deep searchs that that comes from being a
Speaker 1: fatherless daughter. Not having my father in my life always
Speaker 1: made me have to feel like I need to have
Speaker 1: that acceptance from that man, and it comes from that
Speaker 1: man that doesn't want me. And this is me going
Speaker 1: into deeper stuff, like there's a lot of girls that
Speaker 1: are raised without fathers, and even if you don't realize it,
Speaker 1: some of the decisions that you make when it comes
Speaker 1: to dating comes from that. You know, you never had
Speaker 1: that protector. So you deal with a guy that can
Speaker 1: be that seems like he's a protector, but part of
Speaker 1: that is that he's rude or disrespectful or makes you
Speaker 1: put up with a lot of nonsense, and you're like,
Speaker 1: he loves me, you put up with a lot of stuff.
Speaker 1: Let's not leave men behind. There's a lot of men
Speaker 1: out here that, because of society and everything else, we're
Speaker 1: taught or we teach them men don't cry, suck it up,
Speaker 1: be a man about it. And it's like you'll be
Speaker 1: in these relationships where you know this girl is not
Speaker 1: good for you. You know this girl is sucking the
Speaker 1: life out of you. She's like pulling you back from
Speaker 1: where you really need to be. There's a lot of
Speaker 1: things that you really think about it deeply that is
Speaker 1: not just in a funny way of like, oh someone toxica,
Speaker 1: is like what happened for you to get to that
Speaker 1: point where you're okay accepting this, where you deal with
Speaker 1: these things and it's like a regular thing. You know,
Speaker 1: somebody from the outside looking in maybe like, yo, why
Speaker 1: are you doing this? Like why are you dealing with
Speaker 1: this person? And they don't even see it. They're like,
Speaker 1: don't see was wrong? It's what I've done my whole life, right,
Speaker 1: So Yeah, basically I think that's a great point. I
Speaker 1: think even for me on the flip side as a man,
Speaker 1: I know that when I was younger and started getting
Speaker 1: my name out there and people started recognizing my face,
Speaker 1: it was like I finally was attracting all of the
Speaker 1: women that used to turn me down in high school.
Speaker 1: So I was like in this cycle of chasing after
Speaker 1: the girls that represented the girls that I longed for
Speaker 1: when I was a kid in high school, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. So, and a lot of them were
Speaker 1: just out for hanging out with somebody who had close
Speaker 1: proximity to celebrities or you know that they thought had
Speaker 1: money or had connections and could get into the clubs
Speaker 1: and had the bottle service and all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1: And I was okay with having some of those types
Speaker 1: of women around me just because it was like feeling
Speaker 1: this certain type of void for me. So I'm definitely
Speaker 1: like I can relate to a lot of what you're
Speaker 1: saying as well. Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying that
Speaker 1: Sometimes when we talk about Lato, you know, people being
Speaker 1: foxicals or whatever, it's like it goes further than that.
Speaker 1: Now some people do O D and now I'm gonna
Speaker 1: go zero to a thousand. Being foxical can be from
Speaker 1: like you know, babe, who are your texting? Or like
Speaker 1: you know, looking at every single person, to like your
Speaker 1: man's or your girls pictures or you know that's still
Speaker 1: a former being toxic, but it can go to the
Speaker 1: point where you're out here in jail based off being toxic.
Speaker 1: Like toxic can be cute like and then it can
Speaker 1: go from that to like I love you so much,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna stab you and kill you. You You belong to me,
Speaker 1: right right? Right, We've seen it in so many occasions
Speaker 1: and abusive relationships. We've seen it, you know, and vice versa.
Speaker 1: Men get beat up to Now let's I always like to,
Speaker 1: you know, give the credit. They've been in situations better.
Speaker 1: You get to a point where you're with someone that's toxic,
Speaker 1: you're consistently waiting for them to change, because it can
Speaker 1: be those little, little small moments where you're like, well,
Speaker 1: she's toxic, but it's not that bad. It's not that bad,
Speaker 1: So you're in the morgue, you know, right, So you
Speaker 1: have to also know when when toxic is too much
Speaker 1: like to toxic, like right, No, I agree. I think
Speaker 1: it gets to a point where you have to take
Speaker 1: your own safety into consideration, like how bad is behavior
Speaker 1: actually becoming and how much of an effect is it
Speaker 1: having on my ability to live like a normal life?
Speaker 1: You know, Have you ever done anything like super toxic?
Speaker 1: Have I ever done anything super? I mean, I don't,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I guess you could. I've been a
Speaker 1: funk boy, definitely when I was younger, for sure, for sure,
Speaker 1: for sure, for sure, was a bit of a fun
Speaker 1: boy when it came to my dealings with women. It's
Speaker 1: not something that I'm proud of, you know, but definitely like,
Speaker 1: you know, being that guy that like, once I finally
Speaker 1: got it, you know, I was like, oh, now I'm
Speaker 1: too busy to hang out, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: and things like that, um and kind of. I never
Speaker 1: thought I was giving big signals because I think I
Speaker 1: genuinely and my core am a nice dude, So I
Speaker 1: always just give out good energy. But I think it
Speaker 1: definitely gave out a lot of mixed signals for a
Speaker 1: lot of women that I just had the intention of
Speaker 1: sleeping with and that they thought I wanted a lot
Speaker 1: more from them, And it definitely caused me some some
Speaker 1: issues in the past, right, No, for sure, I'll tell
Speaker 1: you some something toxic I did in my younger years
Speaker 1: and and I didn't think it was toxic to you know,
Speaker 1: pokemua and a better understanding. So I was dating this
Speaker 1: guy and long story short, I found out that he
Speaker 1: was cheating on me because one of his girlfriends called
Speaker 1: me and she was like, oh, who are you And
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, who are you, bitch? And she was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm his girlfriend. Like no, bitch, I'm his girlfriend. And
Speaker 1: she was like, oh my god. Wait there's another one,
Speaker 1: and I said, we didn't mean this another one and
Speaker 1: then she called him in three way another girl that
Speaker 1: was his girlfriend too, and there was three of us
Speaker 1: and we were all talking to each other. We were
Speaker 1: so mad, but then we were like, we need revenge.
Speaker 1: So I ended up we all ended up blinking up together.
Speaker 1: We showed up at his house. One of them pulled out.
Speaker 1: I didn't drive back then, so she was driving. Um,
Speaker 1: she pulled out a bat. I popped all the tires
Speaker 1: in his car. It was bad. And then she opened
Speaker 1: the door and banned the door. His mom came out,
Speaker 1: he came out. It was crazy. So I was like, wow,
Speaker 1: is that really how my toxic days started? Probably? Um? Yeah.
Speaker 1: And then also seeing things in my house else you know,
Speaker 1: my mom, you know, suffered from domestic abuse as well.
Speaker 1: Seeing those things unconsciously affect you and you don't even
Speaker 1: know how it does. Um. So yeah, there's a lot
Speaker 1: of toxic relationships out here. ITAMBI. I don't know they
Speaker 1: have it in song, but itica it is. So now
Speaker 1: we're celebrating being crazy together. So do we see it
Speaker 1: in a good way or we're like, yo, we need
Speaker 1: to stop right. It's it's this weird thing. And I mean,
Speaker 1: and it's not just in our culture. I mean a
Speaker 1: hip hop you have, uh you know a lot of
Speaker 1: women rapping about like scamming men and things like that.
Speaker 1: Um and and kind of makes it like normalizing taking
Speaker 1: advantage of people and things like that. It's weird. It's
Speaker 1: I don't I don't personally, I don't understand it. But
Speaker 1: it's definitely this weird cultural thing that we have about
Speaker 1: I don't know, bad behavior and embracing it. Yeah, for sure,
Speaker 1: I definitely agree. Um and more now, more than ever,
Speaker 1: I think. Well, I mean I think men started like
Speaker 1: during hip hop days and stuff, because during the R
Speaker 1: and B s it was like more romantic. But now
Speaker 1: these days, um, you know, men have always been very
Speaker 1: open about you know, I'm just gonna smash and bounce
Speaker 1: like it's not even a thing, you know, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: get what I wanted of this person and not know
Speaker 1: how emotionally a woman can be involved. And now you've
Speaker 1: turned a good girl into a psycho. And they're like, oh,
Speaker 1: you see, all bitches are the same. No, y'all did that?
Speaker 1: Girls don't start like that. It's like the same, the
Speaker 1: same way that a girl breaks a guy's heart or
Speaker 1: little boy's heart. After that, all hell breaks loose, you know.
Speaker 1: So it's like I really believe that that. Yeah, now
Speaker 1: we're just embracing it and uplifting it through music is
Speaker 1: a cultural thing. Being toxic, talking about taking advantage of
Speaker 1: other people, you know, just oh my god, there's a
Speaker 1: song I ain't gonna say which one it is, but
Speaker 1: it basically says, get that and leave, you know, basically,
Speaker 1: get everything that you can on to someone and just
Speaker 1: leave and leave them hanging. And it's like, I get
Speaker 1: it because some guys deserve it. Battle what are we
Speaker 1: really promoting? What are we really doing? Are we you
Speaker 1: wonder if it if it actually leaves us with like
Speaker 1: a fund up perception of what like love and relationships are,
Speaker 1: and like if if we're really I think absolutely, I
Speaker 1: think here, I think I really love in my relationship.
Speaker 1: It's by no means perfect, like we both have work
Speaker 1: to do, but it is a genuine thing where like
Speaker 1: it is somebody who's genuinely supporting everything I do and like, uh,
Speaker 1: celebrating their my wins as if they were hers and
Speaker 1: and vice versa. You know, so I think it is
Speaker 1: real now it's difficult, you know what I mean. And
Speaker 1: I think you have to do a lot of work
Speaker 1: on yourself and you kind of have to change your
Speaker 1: lifestyle a bit if you want to find it. Because
Speaker 1: for me, my life was in the clubs and you know,
Speaker 1: traveling and all that kind of stuff. You know, So
Speaker 1: being out and about in those environments wasn't where I
Speaker 1: was going to find somebody that I was going to
Speaker 1: probably connect with on a deeper level, just because it's
Speaker 1: not like set up that way. You know, a club
Speaker 1: is not place to have a conversation with somebody. You know,
Speaker 1: it is not what it's being promoted. Because they're talking
Speaker 1: about like, oh, I want to get me this girl
Speaker 1: and we're gonna be together and we're gonna crock together.
Speaker 1: To the anybody's saying that, it's like, oh and this
Speaker 1: busines't work out. Next I gotool and then and it's like,
Speaker 1: how do we promote, you know, a healthy relationship. How
Speaker 1: do we promote being good together and not being crazy
Speaker 1: towards each other? How do we how do we get
Speaker 1: into that positive space where you see it in movies,
Speaker 1: you see it on TV, you see it in the
Speaker 1: you know, you're hearing the songs, it's like, yeah, where
Speaker 1: is the promotion of the positivity here? It is tough,
Speaker 1: especially the industry that we are in, right because it's like,
Speaker 1: it's it's exciting to see like, let's say a DJ
Speaker 1: recap video and I have I have like a ton
Speaker 1: of girls in the booth and I'm getting drunk and
Speaker 1: doing whatever. But like seeing me on my couch with
Speaker 1: my girl on a Friday night is not that exciting
Speaker 1: to watch on the internet, you know, and vice versa
Speaker 1: when it comes to you, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: Like people would love to men want to fantasize about
Speaker 1: being able to date you, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: And they want to, uh, you know, see you all
Speaker 1: dolled up and sex up and not like chilling boot
Speaker 1: up in the house, you know, on the weekends and
Speaker 1: something like that. So it is difficult I mean for
Speaker 1: you though I haven't I haven't dated anybody like in
Speaker 1: a relationship that was in the entertainment space. But for you,
Speaker 1: have you found that being a public figure has made
Speaker 1: it more to bring up I should say, has it
Speaker 1: brought out more of your toxic traits? Um? Probably probably
Speaker 1: because I'm sorry, I don't care what nobody says thought,
Speaker 1: Oh you love me and I love you Romeo and Julius,
Speaker 1: not out of me, not prout of it. And so
Speaker 1: they get the Prince Charming or anything He's gonna come
Speaker 1: from the sky running a horse is not happening, you know.
Speaker 1: And I think that also growing up, we watched Disney,
Speaker 1: We watch all these cartoons and all these da all
Speaker 1: these fairy tales of what a relationship should be, and
Speaker 1: that's not what the hell it is. Relationships have to
Speaker 1: go with failure, you have to put up with, you
Speaker 1: have to have patience, you have to argue, then you
Speaker 1: have to of each other as a whole. Bunch. Is
Speaker 1: a roller coaster of emotions and things that you have
Speaker 1: to go through to be able in a long lasting relationship.
Speaker 1: Every time you have an issue, y'all can't just break
Speaker 1: up and give up because if not, in Thun said,
Speaker 1: where are you going, You're gonna be changing people, you know,
Speaker 1: every week. So to me, it's like love do foculi
Speaker 1: feci um. But there's no perfect relationship, and we've been
Speaker 1: sold this idea. It doesn't exist. You know, you have
Speaker 1: to work things out, and with the people being toxic
Speaker 1: at this point, I don't know. I don't think it's
Speaker 1: gonna get any better because the way that society is
Speaker 1: promoting it, we don't see um the love being shown,
Speaker 1: and I feel that people are together because of convenience
Speaker 1: for the most part. For the most part, it's like
Speaker 1: why benefiting? Then I get out of you and guys versa.
Speaker 1: Do you have a job? How much many do you make?
Speaker 1: Where do you what do you drive? Men these days
Speaker 1: are doing the same thing. Before it wasn't like that.
Speaker 1: Men used to just find a woman that would have
Speaker 1: nice hips because she had good hips, she could have
Speaker 1: you know, she could get a birth, too many children?
Speaker 1: Those mindset you know, can you cook? Can you clean?
Speaker 1: Do you come from a good family? That was a mindset.
Speaker 1: Now is like, so what do you bring to the table?
Speaker 1: Do you work? You got money? What you do? Canphy
Speaker 1: wife for Instagram type thing? Can you be my trophy
Speaker 1: wife for Instagram? Physically? You know, I'm thinking for a
Speaker 1: certain type. So anyways, it goes from all these perspectives.
Speaker 1: So now it's no longer about real love. It's no
Speaker 1: longer about I'm gonna ryan die with you. You know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying to the bad so now you're just
Speaker 1: concerned about, like, I'm gonna be talking with this person
Speaker 1: because I don't want to lose them, because if I
Speaker 1: lose them, I'm gonna lose his money, or I'm gonna
Speaker 1: lose this opportunity, or I'm gonna lose this look that
Speaker 1: I've been giving to society of this is it's kind
Speaker 1: of gotten foggy. It's it's foggy, you know. I think
Speaker 1: it's a good place to kind of hit pause for
Speaker 1: a second. We'll take a quick break and then we'll
Speaker 1: be right back. Look at your children's eyes to see
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Speaker 1: and the ad Council. Hi. I'm Robert sex Reese, host
Speaker 1: of The Doctor sex Rees Show, and every episode I
Speaker 1: listened to people talk about their sex and intimacy issues.
Speaker 1: And yes, I despise every minute of it. And she
Speaker 1: she made mistakes too? Did she kill everyone at her wedding?
Speaker 1: But hell is real. We're all trapped here and there's
Speaker 1: nothing any of us can do about it. So join me,
Speaker 1: won't you? Listen to the Doctors Sex re Show every
Speaker 1: Tuesday on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or
Speaker 1: wherever you get your podcast. The Michael Doda Podcast Network
Speaker 1: is dedicated to celebrating and elevating Latin X voices, stories
Speaker 1: and content creators in English, Spanish, and Spanish. Micha food
Speaker 1: uh to me means famlia, It means lack a me
Speaker 1: that means flavor means so many things, friendships, all the
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Speaker 1: heard about so many different topics. Not waiting for anyone
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Speaker 1: It's gonna be hot. I can't wait for you guys
Speaker 1: to listening to the podcast that work on the I
Speaker 1: Heart Radio, Apple wherever you get your podcasts. All right,
Speaker 1: we are back with Madela Negra. You know, it's gotta
Speaker 1: be tough though, because you are you're also in an
Speaker 1: industry and and it's different for women there. They have
Speaker 1: an even larger magnifying glass on them, like where people
Speaker 1: are constantly focusing on some of probably your biggest insecurities,
Speaker 1: even just physically, you know what I mean, like when
Speaker 1: it comes to comments on social media. Right, so you're
Speaker 1: already constantly existing in this place where you're being attacked
Speaker 1: and people are constantly trying to point out your flaws
Speaker 1: and and make you feel sort of bad about yourself
Speaker 1: or insecure. It's got to be hard to not sort
Speaker 1: of bring some of those insecurities into a relationship. I
Speaker 1: can only imagine no for sure, for sure, and I
Speaker 1: obviously being put That's why to me, I'm setting you earlier.
Speaker 1: I feel the people think that I'm in like Sexy Launder.
Speaker 1: I I'm just in the house and I want to
Speaker 1: be here with a grandma, with a grandma that represented
Speaker 1: and with my grandma pantings and do my best life.
Speaker 1: And I'm not like doing the most but what I
Speaker 1: do want to ask you is now that you've gotten
Speaker 1: you know, people have gotten to know you. Um, now
Speaker 1: you you know, obviously acquire like a bigger fan. Based
Speaker 1: on all these things being in a relationship, how much
Speaker 1: harder is it for men? Because I feel like women
Speaker 1: to each of zom judgment free zone. But um I
Speaker 1: women throwing themselves actually knowing that you're in a relationship. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean it's weird because I think I always say this,
Speaker 1: you know, regardless of you know, who the woman is,
Speaker 1: every woman has a guy and her d M is
Speaker 1: trying to trying to at least smash you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. Doesn't matter if she's a celebrity, if she's
Speaker 1: a teacher, doesn't matter, right, Um, but for men, even
Speaker 1: really good looking men, I'm not putting myself in that category,
Speaker 1: which just generally speaking, good looking men have to do
Speaker 1: a little bit of work when it comes to find,
Speaker 1: you know, talking to a girl. Like a lot of
Speaker 1: the the sort of courting phase falls on men to
Speaker 1: a degree, right when it comes to to like, you know,
Speaker 1: making the first move and stuff like that. Um, So
Speaker 1: it is weird to have women making it incredibly easy
Speaker 1: to to basically sleep with them if you wanted to.
Speaker 1: And also so you like to put in the world
Speaker 1: were not now because you already taken right back then
Speaker 1: you like to be the chase, not the chaser, but
Speaker 1: to hunt. You like to put in the work. I
Speaker 1: think the Yeah, I actually think that the work was
Speaker 1: more interesting than like the sex itself, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. Like, I think that the idea of being
Speaker 1: able to find the girl, you know, have her interested
Speaker 1: enough in me that she's attracted and she wants to
Speaker 1: hang out and do those things like that was a
Speaker 1: bigger payoff than these sex itself. The sex was usually
Speaker 1: like you know whatever, mediocre at best. I think that
Speaker 1: casual sex is generally not gonna be great because you
Speaker 1: don't really know the person that well, you know. But
Speaker 1: I think, yeah, the payoff was always kind of the chase.
Speaker 1: And I think for me now at this point in
Speaker 1: my life, I had to have a conversation of like
Speaker 1: our what do I kind of want to see my life?
Speaker 1: Like how do I want to see my life? As
Speaker 1: do I want to be the dude who is constantly
Speaker 1: searching for this high from outside people? You know what
Speaker 1: I mean? Like women and trying to go to the
Speaker 1: bars and take home women because I've talked this before,
Speaker 1: but like for me, a lot of times, it became
Speaker 1: going out with my friends. It would be like a
Speaker 1: disappointing night if I didn't take a girl home with me,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, And like I wouldn't have
Speaker 1: enjoyed my night, you know, So it just became a
Speaker 1: game to me, and I had to have a real conversation, like, yo,
Speaker 1: do you want to actually build something substantial, have somebody
Speaker 1: that you can you know, work with the long term,
Speaker 1: or do you want to live this life for your
Speaker 1: constantly just chasing after something that really is never gonna
Speaker 1: be fulfilling. Let me ask you this drama because you know,
Speaker 1: I've never had a dick, right, but okay, if I
Speaker 1: had a dick or whatever, Like I don't get it
Speaker 1: because maybe I'm a girl and I think I'm a woman.
Speaker 1: I think too deep into it, But like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: how do guys go to the club, go to whatever,
Speaker 1: take a girl to him, even if you put on,
Speaker 1: you know, a condom or whatever, which I'm sure that
Speaker 1: a lot of men don't do. But let's say you
Speaker 1: put on a corn or whatever. And don't say you
Speaker 1: have all those juices. I eat your balls and your thighs.
Speaker 1: I e I. You don't even know who this girl is.
Speaker 1: You're like case in her goal as to it's all
Speaker 1: juicy and wet. I eat, but you just look good.
Speaker 1: So after you're done, because as a woman personally, I've
Speaker 1: never had a one night stand, take me out, feed me,
Speaker 1: talk to me on this crap that I know you're
Speaker 1: lying all this thing and after okay, fine, I'll give
Speaker 1: it to you. But for women, a lot of times
Speaker 1: after you have one day since where after you do
Speaker 1: these things, you feel come okay, saa you feel use
Speaker 1: me for men is like, nah, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: I just did what I did. Like I don't. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I feel you don't feel nothing when you put it
Speaker 1: that way. I feel gross about it, Yeah, of course
Speaker 1: when like, but you know, I'm not actively it wasn't
Speaker 1: actively thinking about that, you know, and a lot of
Speaker 1: men don't either. But but the thing is now like
Speaker 1: removed from it. I'm like, yo, like, I am really
Speaker 1: really lucky that my behavior back then didn't end in
Speaker 1: you know, uh ship std S didn't end in you know,
Speaker 1: getting involved with the wrong woman who like totally did
Speaker 1: something that would ruin my career, ruin my life, um,
Speaker 1: you know, or or getting somebody pregnant or something any
Speaker 1: any of the things that could happen when you're sexually
Speaker 1: involved with people or intimately involved in any way. I'm
Speaker 1: very fortunate of that, you know. And that's also like
Speaker 1: a big reason why I'm happy to be in this
Speaker 1: phase of my life because those are no longer things
Speaker 1: that I have to worry about, and my life is
Speaker 1: a lot more peaceful, you know when I think about
Speaker 1: it in that way of like not having to be
Speaker 1: concerned with those kinds of things. Um So for the
Speaker 1: guys out there that are going through that stage right
Speaker 1: now and they're living it up, you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: free balls damn the way. Why everywhere, especially during the pandemic.
Speaker 1: During the pandemic, there was a lot of during the pandemic,
Speaker 1: there was a lot of people were just like, you
Speaker 1: know what, we're born. Let me just call my ex
Speaker 1: girlfriendlet me call that girl that I never called back,
Speaker 1: and let me see if I can get some um,
Speaker 1: if you could give an advice, knowing where you're at now,
Speaker 1: been there, done that, I'm in a different place in life.
Speaker 1: What advice would you give to the guys right now
Speaker 1: they're going through that stage. I don't. I don't think
Speaker 1: it's worth it. I think that you're trying to, you know,
Speaker 1: fulfill a whole that you avoid, that you have that
Speaker 1: could be fulfilled more healthily, you know. I mean, like,
Speaker 1: I don't think there's any man out there. And we
Speaker 1: can all be tough guys and say we don't feel anything,
Speaker 1: but like, there's no dude out there that doesn't you know,
Speaker 1: feel empty after a one night stand when you're still
Speaker 1: alone and your life is still going through whatever you're
Speaker 1: going through, you know what I'm saying. And the beauty
Speaker 1: is that when you are able to move on and
Speaker 1: grow up and find somebody, you're in a much more
Speaker 1: settled place that you can not have that feeling of
Speaker 1: being alone, you know what I'm saying, Like, like, there's
Speaker 1: something beautiful about growing up and enjoying the other aspects
Speaker 1: of life, right it really is. And and you know,
Speaker 1: not a lot of men talk about this, want to
Speaker 1: be vulnerable about things, but like, yo, there's something beautiful
Speaker 1: to just have somebody who's like your partner in crime
Speaker 1: throughout everything. And and that's an exciting thing. I think.
Speaker 1: Another thing for me was like flipping the script of
Speaker 1: the adrenaline rush that came from trying to get other women,
Speaker 1: but then kind of flipping that into how can I
Speaker 1: consistently do things to make my my girlfriend happy? Right?
Speaker 1: Like that's my rush? Now you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: Like you have to create these games. I think in
Speaker 1: your head, I think that as as you're you're rolling
Speaker 1: your eyes and me, that's a real thing. No, I
Speaker 1: believe that. But then now I have a question though,
Speaker 1: because a lot of times, at times when you're in
Speaker 1: a relationship or you're with someone already, it doesn't mean
Speaker 1: that you still don't want to feel you're still wanted
Speaker 1: out of the streets. So, yeah, do you be answering
Speaker 1: It's okay, hey, do you be answering some of the dms?
Speaker 1: Just like, hey, oh thank you? You You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Do you still answer even though you don't want anything
Speaker 1: with them? But do you still like to be pursued
Speaker 1: by other women knowing you love your girl? This is
Speaker 1: your main No? I see, I don't answer them. I
Speaker 1: don't answer those d ms. I'm for real, for real
Speaker 1: on that one. If somebody DMS me like, YO, you
Speaker 1: look good, you all want to hang out? Like whatever,
Speaker 1: I don't respond to those dms. If somebody and this
Speaker 1: is a matter of woman, if somebody DM and it's like, um,
Speaker 1: the man in there too, they'd be trying to yeah
Speaker 1: you have you have some dudes. But like but it's
Speaker 1: like regular dms, like somebody's like yo, I really funk
Speaker 1: with that last podcast episode or I like this. I'll
Speaker 1: respond to those, but anything that has to do with
Speaker 1: like somebody flirting with me, I'm not going to put
Speaker 1: myself in a position where potentially I could funk up
Speaker 1: everything that I have going on right now. That's because
Speaker 1: that's exactly what social media will do. Though. Make sure
Speaker 1: that you're like all things. Isn't that screenshop? Oh my god,
Speaker 1: John wasn't trying to get with me? And then they
Speaker 1: start a whole situation. Absolutely, and listen, I want to
Speaker 1: I want to flip the script a little We've been
Speaker 1: talking a lot about me and my perspective with toxic women.
Speaker 1: I want to talk about you and your experience with
Speaker 1: toxic men a little bit more. And so we're gonna
Speaker 1: do this in your podcast. So we're doing like a
Speaker 1: two parter here where you're your guest on my podcast.
Speaker 1: Here we're talking about it, and then we're gonna continue
Speaker 1: on with your podcast, which I'm really excited about as well.
Speaker 1: So we'll we'll pause here and they're gonna to tune
Speaker 1: into your podcast to get the rest of the juicy
Speaker 1: this alright, Gang Gang Gang, and that will actually drop.
Speaker 1: That second part I'm talking about will actually drop this Thursday,
Speaker 1: October one on her podcast exactly a maa. So make
Speaker 1: sure he goes serch for that. Find it everywhere that
Speaker 1: you find podcasts. I'll be listening to this one right here.
Speaker 1: Search for exactly Amata and you will find our second
Speaker 1: parts to this episode. And of course makes she follow
Speaker 1: her on social media on Instagram at al a l
Speaker 1: N to keep up all that she's got going on.
Speaker 1: And what that said is we kind of hit pause
Speaker 1: on this conversation between myself and Amta. Let me get
Speaker 1: y'all's take, of course, in our ask a Gringle segment
Speaker 1: as alright, and y'all know I had to get your opinion.
Speaker 1: I had to have you wait in on this conversation.
Speaker 1: So any new followers at DJ Dramas. I always post
Speaker 1: a question on my Instagram where I want to get
Speaker 1: y'all involved in the conversation. I want to get your
Speaker 1: opinion on all that we are talking about. So at
Speaker 1: DJ Dramas on Instagram, you'll see it in my stories
Speaker 1: where I'll ask the question, you can participate in the show,
Speaker 1: and I'll read it on the on the air. Now,
Speaker 1: let's see. For today's conversation, I simply just ask people,
Speaker 1: have you had a toxic relationship and what made it toxic?
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna get into a few y'alls responses. So
Speaker 1: I got a few on this topic and that, of course,
Speaker 1: it is cheating. At Silly Underscore, t Underscore eighty five
Speaker 1: said trust was gone after he cheated and it went downhill.
Speaker 1: And now the flip side of that, my guy, the
Speaker 1: Young Philosopher at the Young Philosopher says cheating which leads
Speaker 1: to lying and distrust. And that's the fact I mean,
Speaker 1: in all honesty, I've never cheated in any relationship that
Speaker 1: I have ever been in. It's something that I hold
Speaker 1: very near and dear my heart. I just personal view
Speaker 1: it as the ultimate sign of disrespect and listen, I
Speaker 1: get it. We all make mistakes, um, in this life,
Speaker 1: and I'm not here to judge anybody for any indiscretion
Speaker 1: they may have had in previous relationships or in the
Speaker 1: current one. Hopefully you know you you learned a lesson
Speaker 1: and you know didn't repeat your mistakes. But yeah, with
Speaker 1: that said to me, again, the ultimate side of disrespect
Speaker 1: is cheating. And somebody who's willing to go that far
Speaker 1: and to throw your relationship essentially out the window and
Speaker 1: disrespect you in that way, I mean, it says a
Speaker 1: lot about what they think about you, I feel like,
Speaker 1: or how much they value the current relationship. And again
Speaker 1: not to say that people can't change, but at that
Speaker 1: moment in time, you were thinking about that momentary pleasure
Speaker 1: that you're gonna get, you know, from getting off with
Speaker 1: this random person, and not thinking about the other person
Speaker 1: who probably cares about you deeply, and it's gonna be
Speaker 1: heartbroken by this indiscretion, and that is toxic. And somebody
Speaker 1: is only thinking about themselves. Let me see at a
Speaker 1: k A Underscore Twin said, yes, he was a habitual liar. Man.
Speaker 1: If there's one thing in this life that I cannot
Speaker 1: stand aside from cheaters, um, it is fucking liars, Like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, especially if I'm not dumb, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: catch you in this little lie that you're putting out there,
Speaker 1: and then what like, there's no going back from that,
Speaker 1: Like once you've already admitted that you've blatantly lied about
Speaker 1: this thing. And obviously there are levels to it. There's
Speaker 1: there's different things, you know, especially when you first meet somebody,
Speaker 1: you might leave out certain details just at the beginning,
Speaker 1: and then you kind of have a discussion later on,
Speaker 1: like I get all that stuff, But when you're actually
Speaker 1: in it and you were just lying about ship over
Speaker 1: and over it, like that's so fucking toxic because how
Speaker 1: am I supposed to ever trust you? And that's one
Speaker 1: of the biggest kind of cornerstones of any relationship is trust.
Speaker 1: And if I can't believe you know what I'm saying
Speaker 1: the word of the person that I'm seeing, what kind
Speaker 1: of a relationship is that. Let's see at how the
Speaker 1: we neede if I sun that, I'm sorry, I don't
Speaker 1: even know if you're l and I just try to
Speaker 1: put a little actually you know, spice on that one.
Speaker 1: You said, um, yes, they were emotionally manipulative, and you
Speaker 1: threw some nice red flags in there. But yeah, emotional manipulation.
Speaker 1: Let's discuss this a little bit. You want to talk
Speaker 1: about like fucking toxic one on one, Like it is
Speaker 1: scary to think that somebody would purposely play with your
Speaker 1: emotions and manipulate them just to favor whatever it is
Speaker 1: they're trying to convince you of. Like that's some like
Speaker 1: psychotic type ship, not not. You're judge anybody who's ever
Speaker 1: done that before? I understand Again, we'll have, you know,
Speaker 1: moments that are a bit lesser than the person would
Speaker 1: actually like to be. But man, there are are people
Speaker 1: out there and this is like a form of abuse
Speaker 1: essentially because you're manipulating the person in a relationship with, Right,
Speaker 1: And we see this all the time in abusive relationships. Right,
Speaker 1: someone who will essentially isolate you from the people in
Speaker 1: your life. Right, that's what they kind of do. One
Speaker 1: of the first kind of big steps they do, um
Speaker 1: so that you know, nobody can kind of get in
Speaker 1: your ear and tell you, you know, to get out
Speaker 1: of what's going on, or to let you know that
Speaker 1: what this person is saying is not true. And what's
Speaker 1: scary is that you've ever kind of had people try
Speaker 1: and mind funk you. It's like it becomes really difficult
Speaker 1: to know what the truth is, right, Like, you have
Speaker 1: one side of yourself that's telling you something isn't right here,
Speaker 1: But then you have somebody kind of playing to your
Speaker 1: fears and your emotions and then knowing the specific ways
Speaker 1: that they and sort of get you to think a
Speaker 1: certain way, and it's like you're having this internal struggle
Speaker 1: like not knowing what is actual real life. You know,
Speaker 1: it's a very very scary thing. And listen, Yeah, anybody
Speaker 1: that's in a relationship with somebody who tends to UM
Speaker 1: kind of twist and turn their emotions and figure out
Speaker 1: ways to sort of manipulate them to think in in
Speaker 1: the way that they want to, that is a huge
Speaker 1: red flag and you need to get away from that person.
Speaker 1: Those are very scary tendencies UM that could eventually lead to,
Speaker 1: you know, far worse things than just them even messing
Speaker 1: with your head. And this last one, actually I want
Speaker 1: to read UM has nothing to do with relationships, but
Speaker 1: actually has to do with friends. And you all know
Speaker 1: I've talked about this before about the circle that you
Speaker 1: keep at Cross Underscore Soul set up all my friends
Speaker 1: wanted to do was drink, party and get into trouble.
Speaker 1: If I didn't want to, they would belittle me. And yeah,
Speaker 1: that's actually a toxic friend group right there, who really
Speaker 1: doesn't give a funk about your own well being. They
Speaker 1: really just care about keeping the party going, you know,
Speaker 1: keeping the things that they seem to be enjoying going
Speaker 1: at the expense of what actually is making you happy
Speaker 1: or in this case, probably making you miserable. And I
Speaker 1: hope that you've you've been able to walk away from
Speaker 1: that friend group. I mean, a relationship is a bit
Speaker 1: more difficult because a little bit more invest that I
Speaker 1: feel like emotionally, but also I mean, listen, it's hard
Speaker 1: to walk away from from friends, right it's like your
Speaker 1: social circle, your outlet for having human connection, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. Like, if those are the only people
Speaker 1: that you know, it's really difficult to go into this
Speaker 1: really lonely place until you kind of meet other people
Speaker 1: that you connect with, and especially the older you get,
Speaker 1: it becomes even more difficult to like make new friends,
Speaker 1: you know. But I salute you if you have pulled
Speaker 1: yourself out of that situation or at the minimum recognize
Speaker 1: that it's just not a healthy friend group to be
Speaker 1: a part of. And with that said, thank you all
Speaker 1: so much for participating in this Ask a Good Anglo
Speaker 1: segment again at dj Dramas on Instagram. If you want
Speaker 1: to be a part of the conversation and let's do
Speaker 1: you know what, we'll do a quick conclusions to Even
Speaker 1: though this episode technically is not done yet, it's only
Speaker 1: part one of two. Again, you'll have to listen a
Speaker 1: new part two on Amadas podcast with quick little conclusions
Speaker 1: to what we've been talking about so far. All right,
Speaker 1: so I want to be very careful because I don't
Speaker 1: want to give away too much of the conversation because
Speaker 1: obviously this is only part one. But I think one
Speaker 1: of the funnier revelations about this one is Amata kind
Speaker 1: of coming to terms the fact that she might also
Speaker 1: be on toxica right a little bit. Have have some
Speaker 1: toxic behaviors, um, I mean, and listen, we've all been there.
Speaker 1: I've been there when I've been young. Not to say
Speaker 1: that when you, you you know, show certain behaviors or you
Speaker 1: you act out in certain ways, that it means that
Speaker 1: you're doing forever. But it is important to become aware
Speaker 1: of those traits and really important to be aware of
Speaker 1: those traits and potential partners or people in your life,
Speaker 1: and also recognizing where some of these behaviors and yourself
Speaker 1: come from. You know, I'm obviously on a lot of
Speaker 1: episodes that talk about kind of doing that internal work,
Speaker 1: and this is a part of it. Right, Like relationships
Speaker 1: in order to have a healthy one, it also takes
Speaker 1: a good amount of inter gona work on yourself right
Speaker 1: to fix and correct certain um negative traits that you
Speaker 1: might have that are just not conducive to a healthy relationship.
Speaker 1: And you owe it to the person you're getting into
Speaker 1: a relationship with and also yourself to kind of try
Speaker 1: and come in terms of some of this trauma that
Speaker 1: you might be carrying around. But you know, that's all
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say here, because again, this is a two
Speaker 1: part episode. I don't want to give away too much,
Speaker 1: and part two gets pretty juicy. Amadas gonna put the
Speaker 1: full court press on me, uh and get my perspective
Speaker 1: on a lot of other things, and you know, we'll
Speaker 1: also get to know her just a little bit more.
Speaker 1: I feel like, again that episode will be airing on
Speaker 1: her podcast exactly Amada. Part two of our conversation about
Speaker 1: toxica and toxicals toxic people in our lives. That will
Speaker 1: be on Thursday, October one, So this Thursday, you're able
Speaker 1: to check out part two on a Modest podcast exactly
Speaker 1: a mata. And with that said, thank you all so
Speaker 1: much for tuning into another episode if you like what
Speaker 1: you heard. If you're new here, please feel free to
Speaker 1: subscribe and check some of the past episodes. I'm really
Speaker 1: loving where this podcast has gone so far, and it's
Speaker 1: only growing, so hopefully any new listeners we're bringing you
Speaker 1: along for the ride. And of course, my O g
Speaker 1: S my day once. I appreciate you guys more than
Speaker 1: you know for holding it down and helping this thing
Speaker 1: grow the way that it has. With that said, I'll
Speaker 1: catch y'all on a modest podcast exactly a mode of
Speaker 1: this Thursday for part two of this one, and we're
Speaker 1: still gonna be dropping a second episode of Life as
Speaker 1: a Grain as we always do to a week on Thursday,
Speaker 1: so you'll be getting to double the episodes on Thursday.
Speaker 1: I appreciate all the love and I will talk to
Speaker 1: you all then peace. Life as a Good Goal is
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