WEBVTT - Vitamin D Advice Letters 0:00:01.280 --> 0:00:05.400 Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. Guess what you are 0:00:05.440 --> 0:00:08.560 tuned into the Vitamin D Podcast and I am your host, 0:00:08.800 --> 0:00:12.080 Dawn Day. And here on the Vitamin D Podcast, we're 0:00:12.119 --> 0:00:15.360 all about getting you excited about your life. It's here 0:00:15.360 --> 0:00:18.320 where you realize that you are your greatest asset. And 0:00:18.360 --> 0:00:21.400 we started off and we do this by having insightful 0:00:21.440 --> 0:00:24.880 conversations with celebrities and people just like you, when people 0:00:24.960 --> 0:00:28.960 like me, and oftentimes giving off inspirational insights. And on 0:00:29.000 --> 0:00:32.600 this episode, I decided to go back and dig into 0:00:32.680 --> 0:00:36.440 my email back okay, where I am answering questions from 0:00:36.520 --> 0:00:41.320 listeners who need advice on love, life, career, relationship, any aspect, 0:00:41.640 --> 0:00:44.320 just as a means to gain more insight about who 0:00:44.320 --> 0:00:47.120 they are, the decisions they're making, and where they're headed 0:00:47.159 --> 0:00:49.680 to go. So I'm gonna keep it real. I tell 0:00:49.720 --> 0:00:52.000 people all the time, I am an aries. I'm gonna 0:00:52.000 --> 0:00:54.920 give you a straight shot. I'm a straight shooter because 0:00:54.920 --> 0:00:57.400 I want you to be the best and realizing when 0:00:57.400 --> 0:01:00.400 we talk about Vitamin D it's about shutting like on 0:01:00.520 --> 0:01:03.640 the good and the bad, because when you can see 0:01:03.680 --> 0:01:07.559 the way, you can be the way. Okay, let me stop. 0:01:07.600 --> 0:01:11.080 It's time to dig in this Vitamin d email bag. So, 0:01:11.120 --> 0:01:15.400 without further ado, it's time for your dose or doses 0:01:15.760 --> 0:01:21.280 a vitamin damin y right with me and get excited. 0:01:25.319 --> 0:01:27.640 All right, So it's time to dig into our email 0:01:27.680 --> 0:01:31.920 bag subject how do I be okay with just me? 0:01:32.520 --> 0:01:35.240 Dear Dawn, I'm a twenty seven year old woman living 0:01:35.240 --> 0:01:38.039 in Arizona, and I have an issue with self motivation 0:01:38.080 --> 0:01:41.080 and trusting myself. I've always been a people pleaser. As 0:01:41.120 --> 0:01:43.440 long as I have people around me, I tend to 0:01:43.520 --> 0:01:46.480 use those around me to find purpose my feelings, and 0:01:46.520 --> 0:01:49.440 even platonic love for them keeps me moving. If I 0:01:49.480 --> 0:01:52.120 try thinking about being my own person and following your 0:01:52.160 --> 0:01:55.280 path where I live for myself or by myself, I 0:01:55.280 --> 0:01:59.520 get extremely unmotivated and depressed. I recognize that this is 0:01:59.560 --> 0:02:02.840 an issue with codependence, but the thing is, I'm just 0:02:02.960 --> 0:02:06.240 paralyzed with fear wherever I think about moving forward or 0:02:06.280 --> 0:02:09.440 a spiral into a dark spot. I'm wondering what advice 0:02:09.480 --> 0:02:12.800 you have regards to getting to know yourself and being 0:02:12.840 --> 0:02:18.880 okay with being yourself. First of all, thank you, thank 0:02:18.919 --> 0:02:22.040 you for taking the time to write this letter. Thank 0:02:22.080 --> 0:02:26.320 you for having the courage to seek yourself and then 0:02:27.440 --> 0:02:31.080 thank you for acknowledging that you would like to do 0:02:31.200 --> 0:02:35.119 right by yourself, and you said it and you identified 0:02:35.160 --> 0:02:38.720 it in this letter. Their s fear far is coming 0:02:38.760 --> 0:02:43.000 at you in different ways, and I think it's a 0:02:43.040 --> 0:02:46.799 fear of loving yourself. Do you love yourself? Because I 0:02:47.120 --> 0:02:49.080 asked that, because when you love yourself, you do right 0:02:49.120 --> 0:02:53.000 by yourself, You take care of yourself, you spend time 0:02:53.040 --> 0:02:58.240 with yourself. You essentially want to be with yourself. Now, 0:02:59.160 --> 0:03:02.040 you didn't necessarily point out any way of you wanting 0:03:02.080 --> 0:03:05.440 to hate yourself. But I'm reading this letter and I 0:03:05.480 --> 0:03:11.440 see you know that you're running, and I only can 0:03:11.480 --> 0:03:15.840 wonder is what are you running from? Because as we 0:03:15.960 --> 0:03:20.040 exist on this earth, this time, this finite time, we 0:03:20.160 --> 0:03:22.280 have to realize and honor the life that we have 0:03:22.440 --> 0:03:26.280 on it, and that means to cherish it. And sometimes 0:03:26.960 --> 0:03:29.960 when we look at fear, fear is false evidence appearing real. 0:03:30.680 --> 0:03:35.760 You know, we're running away from something that is unrealistic. 0:03:36.520 --> 0:03:40.280 And when I say unrealistic, something that doesn't exist. There's 0:03:40.360 --> 0:03:43.280 no point proof that you will get a received or 0:03:43.400 --> 0:03:47.320 guaranteed outcome. And it reminds me of a song with N. 0:03:47.360 --> 0:03:50.200 D R. It's called private party. And it's time for 0:03:50.240 --> 0:03:52.040 you to learn to spend time with yourself, to love 0:03:52.080 --> 0:03:55.280 on yourself, because your dependence on your happiness should never 0:03:55.320 --> 0:03:58.920 be from what you're getting from someone else's cup. You 0:03:59.000 --> 0:04:02.480 gotta speak life in to yourself, and that's gonna call 0:04:02.560 --> 0:04:05.320 you to stand in the merrit each day and to 0:04:05.400 --> 0:04:08.400 acknowledge and say I love you, I see you, and 0:04:08.480 --> 0:04:12.240 I love you. Because when you love on something, like 0:04:12.280 --> 0:04:15.320 I mentioned, you cherish it right, you're allowed to grow. 0:04:15.360 --> 0:04:17.600 And So one thing that I found that was so interesting, 0:04:17.640 --> 0:04:19.800 and I think we oftentimes do it. I'm not gonna 0:04:19.800 --> 0:04:23.200 say this is just you, is that we look for 0:04:23.279 --> 0:04:28.719 others as a source of inspiration and motivation. Now, other 0:04:28.920 --> 0:04:32.599 people and and and different books and different programs should 0:04:32.600 --> 0:04:36.359 be an extension. But when we talk about self love, 0:04:36.920 --> 0:04:39.559 when we talk about joy, and I noticed I didn't 0:04:39.600 --> 0:04:42.920 say happy. Now, sometimes we will revert to the whole 0:04:42.960 --> 0:04:45.960 notion of the term of saying happy. But there's a difference. 0:04:46.080 --> 0:04:51.919 Happiness fleets, joy resides, and I need joy to reside. 0:04:51.960 --> 0:04:54.200 And you actually learned that from the grounds shout out 0:04:54.240 --> 0:04:57.880 to them from my improvt. But what happens is that 0:04:57.920 --> 0:05:00.960 when you have joy and resides in you. No matter 0:05:01.040 --> 0:05:05.080 what person steps away, what other situations or surroundings that 0:05:05.160 --> 0:05:08.760 you remove yourself from, the joy still resides inside of 0:05:08.800 --> 0:05:12.520 you and therefore becomes an extension of the overflow. And 0:05:12.560 --> 0:05:15.599 so you realize that joy isn't something that you can contain. 0:05:15.880 --> 0:05:17.919 We see it all the time, whether we see it 0:05:17.960 --> 0:05:20.640 on a talk show a game show. When we see 0:05:20.680 --> 0:05:23.720 somebody just said he has to a marriage proposal, relationship, 0:05:23.960 --> 0:05:27.520 it bursts out. It's it's like a light. You know, 0:05:27.600 --> 0:05:30.120 the sun and I've said this before doesn't ask permission 0:05:30.120 --> 0:05:32.920 to shine. Neither should you, and neither should your joy. 0:05:33.240 --> 0:05:36.440 Your joy should not be contained based on your proximity 0:05:36.480 --> 0:05:40.440 of someone else or another situation. So how do you 0:05:40.520 --> 0:05:44.320 find it? India are said it have a private party 0:05:44.360 --> 0:05:47.720 with yourself. You need to start journaling and figuring out 0:05:47.760 --> 0:05:51.000 what makes you happy. See, you're a diligent worker for 0:05:51.080 --> 0:05:54.800 someone else, but what about being a servant to yourself. 0:05:56.720 --> 0:06:00.200 You deserve to be served and nobody can come to 0:06:00.240 --> 0:06:02.960 fill your cup up with you, because remember you are 0:06:02.960 --> 0:06:05.919 the source that's working with this overflow. So when it 0:06:05.960 --> 0:06:10.080 comes down to being an extremely unmotivated and you're feeling depressed, 0:06:10.560 --> 0:06:12.320 you have to realize and you have to dig and 0:06:12.360 --> 0:06:15.039 not why am I feeling this way? Why is it 0:06:15.120 --> 0:06:18.719 that I'm not worthy to be celebrated? Why is it 0:06:18.760 --> 0:06:21.400 that I have to look with outside rather than going 0:06:21.440 --> 0:06:23.799 with him? So I want to add on some meditation 0:06:23.839 --> 0:06:26.960 with that, because you're okay with just being who you are, 0:06:27.440 --> 0:06:30.719 But you gotta ask yourself do you love yourself? But 0:06:30.800 --> 0:06:34.120 more importantly, do you want to? Because this life is 0:06:34.120 --> 0:06:36.760 a journey and we're gonna go on to different processes 0:06:36.839 --> 0:06:39.400 how to move forward and how to acknowledge things. But 0:06:39.520 --> 0:06:42.520 you gotta want it. You have to want your best 0:06:42.640 --> 0:06:44.440 life as bad as you want to breathe. And you 0:06:44.520 --> 0:06:47.240 gotta understand that when we're seeking out here to get 0:06:47.240 --> 0:06:50.160 our best life, it's not something that just falls into 0:06:50.200 --> 0:06:54.680 our lafe. You living your best life is a choice. 0:06:55.320 --> 0:06:59.479 It is a decision that you need to make. What 0:07:00.040 --> 0:07:03.520 say you, this is not a moment of badgering on yourself. 0:07:03.680 --> 0:07:05.960 I don't care how old you are. What I'm more 0:07:06.080 --> 0:07:09.680 concerned with, and please as me, is that you've identified 0:07:09.800 --> 0:07:12.120 something that you want to be better at. And that's 0:07:12.120 --> 0:07:14.760 what we got to understand with life. This isn't about 0:07:14.840 --> 0:07:20.000 be having a perfect destination. But this is about enjoying, understanding, 0:07:20.280 --> 0:07:24.080 and living throughout the journey. They're going to be ups 0:07:24.080 --> 0:07:25.920 and downs. They're going to be moments where you hit 0:07:25.960 --> 0:07:29.640 a roll block where you feel confused. But as long 0:07:29.680 --> 0:07:32.080 as you find the love within yourself, please don't tell 0:07:32.080 --> 0:07:35.560 me nothing is impossible. And you'll realize that once you 0:07:35.560 --> 0:07:37.600 step in and loving yourself, that you've seen the light 0:07:37.680 --> 0:07:40.160 that no matter what dark spot, that you can fathom 0:07:40.240 --> 0:07:42.880 to find yourself. And you know what the light looks like. 0:07:43.280 --> 0:07:45.240 There's one thing to be in a room and not 0:07:45.320 --> 0:07:47.440 to know that the lights are off, But my goodness, 0:07:47.640 --> 0:07:51.200 when the lights are on, you'll never go to another 0:07:51.280 --> 0:07:55.160 dark room again. Do you hear what I'm saying? So? 0:07:55.360 --> 0:07:58.800 How do you be okay with just you speak life 0:07:58.840 --> 0:08:02.480 over yourself until it bursts out of joy, out of 0:08:02.520 --> 0:08:05.920 your eyes, out of your ears. Every extension of you 0:08:05.920 --> 0:08:10.040 should be all about loving you. I'm excited for your journey. 0:08:10.240 --> 0:08:13.920 I'm excited for your decision of acknowledgement and saying that 0:08:14.000 --> 0:08:16.880 I'm ready to do the work. Well, I guess what. 0:08:17.720 --> 0:08:20.560 You don't have to outsource anyone. It starts with you. 0:08:20.600 --> 0:08:23.480 Wake up every day and say I love you. That's it. 0:08:23.600 --> 0:08:26.160 Just start there, say I love you, and I promise 0:08:26.240 --> 0:08:28.760 you more good things and abundance is going to be 0:08:28.800 --> 0:08:32.920 on your way. All right, all right, let's move on 0:08:33.080 --> 0:08:37.720 to the next letter subject. Is it okay to just 0:08:38.000 --> 0:08:41.360 be normal? But dear Dawn, when I was growing up, 0:08:41.400 --> 0:08:43.960 I always assumed that I was meant for something great. 0:08:44.640 --> 0:08:47.520 I'm now guessing this is just from my exposure to 0:08:47.600 --> 0:08:51.079 movies and books. Also, I'm fairly certain most people feel 0:08:51.120 --> 0:08:54.480 like this when they are younger. Anyway, after thirty five 0:08:54.559 --> 0:08:57.680 years of life and moving around the world, finally settled 0:08:57.679 --> 0:09:00.480 in Germany three years ago, I have never found that 0:09:00.559 --> 0:09:03.320 thing that sparked something in me. A couple of times 0:09:03.360 --> 0:09:05.360 I thought I was close, but I guess I was wrong. 0:09:05.679 --> 0:09:08.120 I'm not at the point where I just exist. I 0:09:08.160 --> 0:09:11.600 work a regular, full time job, I have a significant other, 0:09:12.000 --> 0:09:15.240 I have pets and hobbies. Nothing really gets me out 0:09:15.280 --> 0:09:19.480 of bed in the morning except continuing to exist. Always 0:09:19.559 --> 0:09:22.920 thought or hoped life will be more than this. Was 0:09:22.960 --> 0:09:25.800 I wrong? Listen to the show and you talk about 0:09:25.920 --> 0:09:28.440 following your dream, But what if you don't have a dream, 0:09:28.520 --> 0:09:31.000 And I don't know if you want a dream is 0:09:31.000 --> 0:09:37.120 there something wrong with just existing, neither harming nor helping anyone? Hmmm. 0:09:37.360 --> 0:09:41.240 This was real, even down to the subject of the lever. 0:09:41.760 --> 0:09:43.800 The first thing that stood out to me is that 0:09:43.840 --> 0:09:48.000 you said, is it okay to just be normal? M 0:09:48.840 --> 0:09:53.040 What is normal? And what does that mean? The reason 0:09:53.080 --> 0:09:56.440 why I want to say normal, by the defines of 0:09:56.440 --> 0:09:59.000 which you presented to me, I'm gonna say no. And 0:09:59.080 --> 0:10:02.040 I say that because, as you said, and I quote, 0:10:02.600 --> 0:10:07.280 I always assumed that I was meant for something great. 0:10:09.040 --> 0:10:11.360 Mm hmm. I don't know about you, but I often 0:10:11.400 --> 0:10:17.480 don't see great and normal and the same sentence, wow, yeah, No, 0:10:17.559 --> 0:10:21.920 I just don't. And you talked about the fact that, um, 0:10:21.920 --> 0:10:25.240 perhaps you got this because you watched movies and now 0:10:25.280 --> 0:10:27.680 that you're grown up. Now, see, that's where I find 0:10:27.720 --> 0:10:30.960 that that's the issue, or oftentimes that's the concern with 0:10:31.000 --> 0:10:34.400 the problem, is that we're forgetting to have that connection 0:10:34.679 --> 0:10:37.880 of who we were when we were a child. Hear 0:10:37.920 --> 0:10:40.280 me out. You know that when you were a child, 0:10:40.400 --> 0:10:44.440 you believe that anything was possible. That was your magic, 0:10:45.720 --> 0:10:48.840 that was your superpower. When you watch those movies and 0:10:48.880 --> 0:10:51.800 you read those books, you got back to the excitement 0:10:52.400 --> 0:10:55.240 and see with that excitement. That's how you find your purpose. 0:10:55.440 --> 0:10:58.520 Now you go back and you say, hey, Dawn, is 0:10:58.520 --> 0:11:03.439 there anything wrong with just this thing? Neither harming nor helping. Yes, 0:11:05.240 --> 0:11:12.120 stream problem. It's a stream level of disrespect. And I'm 0:11:12.120 --> 0:11:14.840 not talking about to me because listen, whether you go 0:11:14.920 --> 0:11:18.080 out there and besides you live your best life, it 0:11:18.160 --> 0:11:20.080 will not affect my day to day. And I don't 0:11:20.120 --> 0:11:24.120 say that to sound disrespectful. I'm keeping it real. I 0:11:24.200 --> 0:11:27.280 can't beg you to be great. I can't want a 0:11:27.360 --> 0:11:30.120 better life for you more than what you want. But 0:11:30.160 --> 0:11:33.640 I'll tell you this, there's more, because at one point 0:11:33.640 --> 0:11:37.160 in your life you said you knew you were meant 0:11:37.320 --> 0:11:41.640 for something great. There's this movie, a Disney animated film 0:11:41.640 --> 0:11:46.079 I saw called Onward, and the whole premise of this 0:11:46.160 --> 0:11:49.400 film was all about the connection of being a child 0:11:49.760 --> 0:11:53.600 where anything was possible, How you had to follow your gut, 0:11:53.840 --> 0:11:56.080 how you had to go off to your instincts, how 0:11:57.400 --> 0:12:00.679 this land that existed in so much of magic, people 0:12:00.720 --> 0:12:04.360 got so used to things being easy and being comfortable 0:12:04.480 --> 0:12:08.160 that they forgot the superpower that they had inside of them. 0:12:08.280 --> 0:12:11.240 What do I mean by that? You had fairies driving 0:12:11.280 --> 0:12:17.480 motorcycles you had wizards using light switches. Okay, how am 0:12:17.480 --> 0:12:23.400 I making this correlation? Fairies fly wizards, they can zap lights, 0:12:23.559 --> 0:12:25.720 they can start fires with the flick of their wand 0:12:26.240 --> 0:12:29.960 yet outsourcing other means. But guess what, they lost the 0:12:30.000 --> 0:12:33.760 connection of who they are. They lost the imagination of 0:12:33.800 --> 0:12:35.760 what resides in them. And because of the fact that 0:12:35.800 --> 0:12:40.600 you said when you were younger, you knew that you 0:12:40.760 --> 0:12:44.800 were supposed to be great. And while your proximity of 0:12:44.800 --> 0:12:46.880 your environment maybe didn't allow you to be on that 0:12:46.880 --> 0:12:51.000 plane in that moment, it didn't allow for you to 0:12:51.080 --> 0:12:54.360 be sailing that ship. You had images, whether they were 0:12:54.400 --> 0:12:59.240 presented it with words, with with actual visual pictures or movies, 0:12:59.559 --> 0:13:01.600 or with my could be And you said, you know 0:13:01.679 --> 0:13:04.960 what that could be me? So now I ask you 0:13:05.480 --> 0:13:10.000 why not you? You made a point to mention after 0:13:10.080 --> 0:13:13.480 thirty five years age ain't nothing but a number. I 0:13:13.520 --> 0:13:16.440 don't care if you were forty five when you wrote 0:13:16.480 --> 0:13:20.680 in here and I quote, nothing really gets me out 0:13:20.720 --> 0:13:26.560 of bed in the morning except continuing to exist. Mm hmmm, 0:13:28.320 --> 0:13:31.480 what is life if you're not living in Remember I 0:13:31.480 --> 0:13:35.040 talked about before, I said, um, you gotta find your joy. 0:13:35.880 --> 0:13:40.120 And you know, children have joy and when you realize 0:13:41.200 --> 0:13:45.199 that life is all about having the heart, the mind, 0:13:46.760 --> 0:13:49.880 the capacity. And when I say capacity, I'm talking about 0:13:49.960 --> 0:13:53.480 utilizing the imagination of a child. Because there are no limits, 0:13:53.520 --> 0:13:57.120 there are no borders. Why are you putting orders on yourself? Yes, 0:13:57.160 --> 0:14:00.760 there is something wrong with just existing because you have 0:14:00.920 --> 0:14:04.840 greatness inside of you. You can't be ordinary when you're 0:14:04.840 --> 0:14:08.680 supposed to be extraordinary. Who are you not to be? 0:14:09.640 --> 0:14:12.280 I dare you to be great? Not for my sake, 0:14:12.320 --> 0:14:16.600 because again this will not affect my everyday life, but 0:14:16.920 --> 0:14:19.960 for you. Because you deserve to get out that bed 0:14:20.000 --> 0:14:23.160 because the sun is shining. You deserve to get out 0:14:23.160 --> 0:14:26.000 that bed because you know somebody loves you. You deserve 0:14:26.080 --> 0:14:28.080 to get out that bed because you're excited about something 0:14:28.120 --> 0:14:30.400 that you're going to create. You deserve to get out 0:14:30.440 --> 0:14:33.000 that bed because you might be healing someone else's life. 0:14:33.280 --> 0:14:39.560 You deserve to get out that bad because because because 0:14:40.560 --> 0:14:45.160 just because you deserve to get out that bad because 0:14:45.560 --> 0:14:49.520 you are important and you got to establish that and 0:14:49.640 --> 0:14:53.280 understand that that you are more. You gotta understand and 0:14:53.560 --> 0:14:56.560 established that that you are worth more than just existing. 0:14:57.200 --> 0:14:59.520 You deserve to live and I want that for you, 0:14:59.600 --> 0:15:03.720 So said okay to just be normal, No way, Jose. 0:15:05.240 --> 0:15:06.560 I want you to get back to that in the 0:15:06.600 --> 0:15:09.760 mind of the child. I want you to get back 0:15:09.800 --> 0:15:12.840 to that thing that excites you. And that's where you're 0:15:12.840 --> 0:15:17.080 gonna find your purpose and you're gonna realize that purpose 0:15:17.640 --> 0:15:23.360 beats purpose. And guess what that sources you. That source 0:15:23.480 --> 0:15:27.560 is that child that resides inside of you. That source 0:15:27.880 --> 0:15:32.400 is that mindset that said always knew I was destined 0:15:32.400 --> 0:15:37.080 for something great. Hey, and show luck today because I 0:15:37.120 --> 0:15:42.320 believe you. All right, let's move on to another letter subject, 0:15:43.960 --> 0:15:49.440 pH D or travel. M Hi Don. I'm a thirty 0:15:49.520 --> 0:15:52.120 year old female from New Zealand and I just finished 0:15:52.120 --> 0:15:54.800 my Masters of Science. I had an awesome time and 0:15:54.840 --> 0:15:57.760 I loved my project. My plan after I finished my 0:15:57.800 --> 0:15:59.920 masters was to go overseas and travel. While I can 0:16:00.000 --> 0:16:03.240 still do this under a work visa, I was going 0:16:03.320 --> 0:16:05.920 to save some money and do a working holiday in Canada. 0:16:06.280 --> 0:16:08.920 Need to save about four thousand, five D dollars and 0:16:09.040 --> 0:16:11.680 need to be under thirty five, and then come back 0:16:11.720 --> 0:16:15.200 after six months or so to look at getting a PhD. However, 0:16:15.960 --> 0:16:19.840 I've unexpectedly been offered a fully funded PhD project that 0:16:19.880 --> 0:16:23.080 requires our start within the next few months. Funding was 0:16:23.120 --> 0:16:25.240 the main issue whether I did a PhD or not, 0:16:25.640 --> 0:16:28.280 as it is near impossible to do one without a scholarship. 0:16:28.720 --> 0:16:31.440 So I am now at a crossroads. Do I a 0:16:31.960 --> 0:16:34.280 take the PhD and hopefully be able to finish within 0:16:34.360 --> 0:16:36.760 three years and still be young enough to travel or 0:16:36.920 --> 0:16:39.920 be reject the PhD, go and work and travel and 0:16:39.960 --> 0:16:42.840 feel fulfilled and such, but potentially miss out on being 0:16:42.880 --> 0:16:45.520 able to do a PhD if I can't get funding 0:16:45.520 --> 0:16:48.680 for a project later on? Is it unreasonable to worry 0:16:48.680 --> 0:16:50.760 that I won't be able to travel after thirty five? 0:16:51.400 --> 0:16:57.640 Thanks in advance, appreciate it. Oh, okay, okay, you got 0:16:57.640 --> 0:17:02.600 me a couple of things. One congratulates. Congratulations queen on 0:17:02.760 --> 0:17:06.760 doing the dang on thing. Um. I want to say 0:17:06.800 --> 0:17:09.440 that this is amazing all of your accomplishments, and I 0:17:09.480 --> 0:17:12.800 truly believe that you staying focused, you will get everything 0:17:12.800 --> 0:17:14.480 that you want. But let's get down to the nitty 0:17:14.480 --> 0:17:16.879 gritty of what you what you you came for the 0:17:17.000 --> 0:17:19.040 first thing that came to mind, I was had to 0:17:19.560 --> 0:17:22.959 dig a little bit, and um, I just googled and 0:17:23.040 --> 0:17:25.000 I saw that you know, the pH D is an 0:17:25.000 --> 0:17:27.560 eight year program. So I see your conflict. Here your 0:17:27.640 --> 0:17:29.879 thirty and you're thinking like, hey, by the time I 0:17:29.880 --> 0:17:32.400 finished this program, I'll definitely be thirty eight, which takes 0:17:32.400 --> 0:17:34.439 you out of the whole mindset of being able to 0:17:34.520 --> 0:17:39.000 travel for the visa. Because I I hear your dilemma, 0:17:39.240 --> 0:17:41.840 first thing that came to mind. Time waits for no one. 0:17:42.200 --> 0:17:44.960 We know that time is your most valuable coin in life. 0:17:45.040 --> 0:17:49.000 It's your most valuable currency because once it's spent, you 0:17:49.040 --> 0:17:51.960 can never get it back. That's why you have to 0:17:52.000 --> 0:17:55.720 be very mindful with whom with what you decide to 0:17:55.800 --> 0:17:59.679 spend your time with. Now let's go back. You're up 0:17:59.720 --> 0:18:01.560 at a point where you're ready to make a decision. 0:18:01.760 --> 0:18:03.520 And one of the first things I would do because I, 0:18:03.640 --> 0:18:05.479 you know, I do think that we need to stem 0:18:05.560 --> 0:18:08.000 from a place of making decisions based on our life. 0:18:08.160 --> 0:18:09.840 I can tell you all day what I feel like 0:18:09.880 --> 0:18:12.800 you should do, but I think the most helpful instrument 0:18:12.880 --> 0:18:14.959 is I can give you is give you the tools 0:18:15.000 --> 0:18:17.280 so that you can make the decision yourself. One thing 0:18:17.320 --> 0:18:19.040 my mama used to always tell me, she said, don 0:18:19.880 --> 0:18:22.280 write it down and make a list. Make a list 0:18:22.320 --> 0:18:24.639 of the pros and kinds of things that you want 0:18:24.760 --> 0:18:28.040 out of each. Then I say to you, no need 0:18:28.080 --> 0:18:31.560 to make a list. Okay, make the list and put 0:18:31.600 --> 0:18:35.000 the pros and kinds of each. Okay. I see that 0:18:35.040 --> 0:18:37.359 you're you're all ready to make a decision. Well, you 0:18:37.400 --> 0:18:38.879 said you can have a couple of months and you 0:18:38.920 --> 0:18:42.119 still need to save money. Would you rather mix yourself 0:18:42.119 --> 0:18:45.440 out of a potential pH D because you're still in 0:18:45.480 --> 0:18:47.520 the process of needing to save money, or do you 0:18:47.560 --> 0:18:50.480 just go after and do it? In my personal opinion, 0:18:50.520 --> 0:18:53.040 what I would do with Dawn Day would do. I'm 0:18:53.040 --> 0:18:56.760 gonna write down dooptions. I'm gonna accept both because I 0:18:56.840 --> 0:19:00.119 realized that, Um, as long as I keep moving my steps, 0:19:00.359 --> 0:19:03.520 I'm giving God something to blast. And in this situation, 0:19:03.760 --> 0:19:05.760 you don't have the money. Just saved that. So before 0:19:05.800 --> 0:19:07.679 you nix it out, go on and see if this 0:19:07.840 --> 0:19:11.080 PhD in this scholarship program is the one that's right 0:19:11.160 --> 0:19:14.760 for you. You be surprised how things have a way 0:19:14.800 --> 0:19:17.000 of working out. In heck, you just said it right here. 0:19:17.040 --> 0:19:21.879 You unexpectedly got a scholarship, a fully funded scholarship or 0:19:21.960 --> 0:19:24.919 PhD project that you didn't even see was coming your way. 0:19:25.119 --> 0:19:26.920 Go ahead, go out there and work a couple of months, 0:19:27.119 --> 0:19:28.800 see if you how close you can get to four 0:19:28.840 --> 0:19:32.000 point five thousand, and if you do, then you can 0:19:32.040 --> 0:19:34.640 go out there and and and make a better decision there. 0:19:34.720 --> 0:19:38.680 But I think I see a lot of attachment to money. 0:19:38.920 --> 0:19:40.679 You're putting a lot of pressure on yourself. And when 0:19:40.720 --> 0:19:43.720 I see attachment to money, you're not looking at the 0:19:43.800 --> 0:19:46.480 idea of what the possibility to come of what can 0:19:46.520 --> 0:19:48.600 come to that? And what do I mean by that? 0:19:49.359 --> 0:19:52.080 Who's to say that this pH d project that you're 0:19:52.080 --> 0:19:54.520 working on and and and what's to come after that 0:19:54.560 --> 0:19:58.000 won't take you around the world? Is it you won't 0:19:58.000 --> 0:20:01.800 be able to see travel around the world? Is it 0:20:01.880 --> 0:20:05.440 about when because you can't operate and fear? Not when 0:20:05.480 --> 0:20:08.520 we're talking about living our best lives, that's not That's 0:20:08.560 --> 0:20:11.840 not what's gonna happen now. I suggested that you make 0:20:11.880 --> 0:20:14.720 the list so that you can see the pros and 0:20:14.840 --> 0:20:18.000 cons of each. The only thing that I see that 0:20:18.040 --> 0:20:21.160 screams out to me where I take a strong stanza 0:20:21.240 --> 0:20:23.919 as I see that you're operating out of fear And 0:20:24.000 --> 0:20:25.879 what do I mean by that? Do I want to 0:20:25.880 --> 0:20:28.080 say fear of lack? Well, I think they can be 0:20:28.200 --> 0:20:32.159 used interchangeably because you fear what you don't have, you 0:20:32.200 --> 0:20:36.439 fear what you don't see. Hey, So in this situation, 0:20:37.400 --> 0:20:41.040 operate as if they're both coming. Operating the notion of 0:20:41.160 --> 0:20:42.800 you working to see if you can say the money. 0:20:43.040 --> 0:20:45.920 Operating the notion of fulfilling the paperwork and going through 0:20:45.920 --> 0:20:48.920 the protocol for this PhD project because you never know 0:20:49.040 --> 0:20:51.560 what can happen. This project may take you to the 0:20:51.640 --> 0:20:55.200 very places that you choose to see overseas in this project. 0:20:55.200 --> 0:20:58.439 You may have a extra holiday throughout the program and 0:20:58.520 --> 0:21:01.800 still be able to do that. But don't nix yourself 0:21:01.840 --> 0:21:05.120 out of the running, not for something that you dreamed up. Now, 0:21:05.200 --> 0:21:07.160 this was a situation was taking a toll in your 0:21:07.160 --> 0:21:09.040 body and you're saying, hey, I need a breath of 0:21:09.040 --> 0:21:12.919 fresh air inhibiting my functionality with life. I'd say, you 0:21:12.920 --> 0:21:15.240 know what, put it down, because your sanity is worth 0:21:15.280 --> 0:21:19.080 more than anything. But in this situation right here, go 0:21:19.119 --> 0:21:21.600 ahead and work. See if you're saying the money, Go 0:21:21.640 --> 0:21:24.600 ahead and go on with this PhD program. This is 0:21:24.600 --> 0:21:26.359 a one in a lifetime thing. Who knows if you're 0:21:26.400 --> 0:21:28.640 gonna be at the right mind set the patients, Because 0:21:28.640 --> 0:21:32.000 in life, here's another thing, additional things happen, then you're 0:21:32.000 --> 0:21:33.880 gonna fall in love, then you're gonna have a children, 0:21:33.920 --> 0:21:37.080 So there's always going to be something. But I'd say this, 0:21:38.000 --> 0:21:41.320 eat the fruit that's bared on the tree. Okay, as 0:21:41.359 --> 0:21:43.400 long as you're not missing it sounds like a win 0:21:43.480 --> 0:21:47.639 win situation, walking both paths and see which one pants 0:21:47.640 --> 0:21:51.840 out first. And you have to remember, um, as you 0:21:51.920 --> 0:21:55.480 give God something to blast, you realize more things will 0:21:55.520 --> 0:21:58.560 come around you to blast. Just how this wasn't expected. 0:21:58.680 --> 0:22:01.040 You're gonna have another path where the path that's going 0:22:01.080 --> 0:22:04.240 to be an unexpected Okay, so trast yourself, go out 0:22:04.240 --> 0:22:06.199 there and take a chance. Go ahead and get that 0:22:06.280 --> 0:22:09.320 PhD and save the money and see what happens. Okay, 0:22:09.680 --> 0:22:13.879 all right, let's move on to the next letter subject 0:22:14.280 --> 0:22:19.200 should I change my crowd or change my crowd? Okay, yeah, 0:22:19.320 --> 0:22:22.679 I read that correctly. Dear Dawn. I'm a few years 0:22:22.680 --> 0:22:24.760 from thirty and I have been hanging with the same 0:22:24.800 --> 0:22:27.560 friend groups since I was fourteen. We're all pretty much 0:22:27.560 --> 0:22:30.640 a group of underachieving stoners. But as of last year, 0:22:30.680 --> 0:22:33.280 I've went through a lot of trauma, f ups and 0:22:33.320 --> 0:22:36.439 self growth. I want some stability in my life. I 0:22:36.480 --> 0:22:38.800 want to truly to be able to enjoy life at 0:22:38.840 --> 0:22:42.120 once without any chemicals. Within the last year, I've given 0:22:42.200 --> 0:22:44.440