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Speaker 1: Hi Catherine, Hi Chelsea.

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Speaker 2: How are you?

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Speaker 3: I mean, I'm not I'm weak. I'm very weak. I

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Speaker 3: was in a viza for like seventy two hours maybe more.

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Speaker 3: It was ridiculous. And then I came to New York.

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Speaker 3: So my stomach is still not right. Oh no, something's off.

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Speaker 1: Were you okay to go to the US Open or

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Speaker 1: did you have to?

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Speaker 3: I was okay to go to the US Open. I

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Speaker 3: had a ride home from a visa that I missed.

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Speaker 3: Then I had a flight that I also missed, and

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Speaker 3: then I spent the extra night getting sleep. So that

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Speaker 3: was that was good. It was It was a rough

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Speaker 3: It was a rough trip. It was a rough trip

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Speaker 3: all the way around. I just really banged myself up.

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Speaker 3: So I'm just recovering in time for me to be

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Speaker 3: in New York. We went to the US Open yesterday

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Speaker 3: with my one of my favorite people, Hannah Burner, and

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Speaker 3: then we and then I'm headed to mont Talk tonight

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Speaker 3: and then I've shows in West Hampton tomorrow night and

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Speaker 3: Thursday night airs say No, and Friday night twenty first

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Speaker 3: or twenty seconds. So yes, So, but a bunch of

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Speaker 3: my friends are flying in, so we're all driving down

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Speaker 3: to the Hampton's tonight together. Apparently I'm meeting them at

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Speaker 3: an airport. So I was like, guys, this is not

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Speaker 3: a good meeting spot, not for me anyway. I just

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Speaker 3: loaded everything into my car, my driver's car, thinking he

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Speaker 3: and I were driving to the Hampton's. He's like, no,

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Speaker 3: I'm dropping you off at the airport. I'm like, what, anyway,

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Speaker 3: we'll get that sorted.

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Speaker 4: We have one of your attendees for your West Hampton

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Speaker 4: show calling in today.

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Speaker 3: Actually, oh really, Oh perfect. They can call in about

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Speaker 3: the show as for a preview. That's what they're gonna want.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, she wants you to do a tight five.

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Speaker 3: I love when you do interviews. When I do interviews

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Speaker 3: and people when I'm promoting shows, and they're like, what

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Speaker 3: can we expect, It's like fucking comedy and left a

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Speaker 3: weird question. It is such an annoying question, and so

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Speaker 3: I have to talk about how annoying and so hopefully

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Speaker 3: all these interviewers will hear it at some point and

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Speaker 3: stop asking comedians what to expect. It's like, what to

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Speaker 3: expect comedy? Do you want me to pitch my jokes

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Speaker 3: like I'm doing then? I'm doing material.

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Speaker 1: Right, right?

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Speaker 4: You get a little drunk and listen to comedy.

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Speaker 3: Yeah or yeah, just a little drunk, just just the

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Speaker 3: still at all. We have a very very funny guest

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Speaker 3: on today who I'm excited about. He's stars in Apple's

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Speaker 3: TV hit show Shrinking and is nominated for an Emmy

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Speaker 3: for Best Actor in a Supporting Role. And he's also

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Speaker 3: just made his debut in Oh Mary on Broadway, and

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Speaker 3: you can find him this fall in Shakespeare's Richard the Second.

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Speaker 3: Please welcome Michael Ury. Michael Uriy, A giant ray of

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Speaker 3: sunshine is here today. Hi, Michael Ury, how are you?

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Speaker 2: I'm so good. It's great to see y'all.

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Speaker 3: Hello, it's great to see you too. Your hair's wet.

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Speaker 3: Did you just get out of the shower?

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Speaker 2: I did. I wanted to be clean for this because

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Speaker 2: thank you, because I'm a clean little boy. Thank you

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Speaker 2: to the gym. And then and then I went and showered,

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Speaker 2: so cleanness.

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Speaker 3: Okay, let me tell you what I did this morning.

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Speaker 3: I took a shower before I went to the gym.

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Speaker 3: I took a shower because I was like, fuck, when

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Speaker 3: am I gonna I have a busy day? I'm like,

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Speaker 3: when am I gonna have time to shower. Usually I

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Speaker 3: would take one after my workout, but I was like, well, fuck,

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Speaker 3: I'm just gonna take one before as a prophylectic.

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Speaker 5: You know.

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Speaker 3: And then and then I went. So I go to

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Speaker 3: my trainer's house and I go in his bathroom and

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Speaker 3: I change and my hair was like damp and gross

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Speaker 3: from sweating. But I had to put on a regular outfit.

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Speaker 3: So I feel like a dirty little whore right now.

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Speaker 4: I like what she's saying.

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Speaker 3: So it's fine, thank you, thank you, Catherine.

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Speaker 2: It's a musk. It's a musk.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, I've never really had bo so at least

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Speaker 3: that's what I like to tell people. So it's not

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Speaker 3: really an issue. Why is Michael frozen on our shirt?

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Speaker 3: It just tixted Brad. There, you're back. There, your back.

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Speaker 3: All I can see is you and corkboard. And I

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Speaker 3: like this setup because it's there's no distractions. We can

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Speaker 3: completely focus on you. Yeah, if you freeze again, we'll

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Speaker 3: let you know. Yeah, maybe close everything else, just to

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Speaker 3: make sure close your only fans and yeah, whatever else

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Speaker 3: you're on, I'm on only fans and I know that

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Speaker 3: you're on my account, so please close it. This is inappropriate.

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Speaker 3: Michael First, of all, the most recent set of congratulations

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Speaker 3: need to be conveyed to you on your most recent

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Speaker 3: Emmy nomination for your role in Shrinking.

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Speaker 2: Thank you most reason and only. That's it's all very

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Speaker 2: new to me. This whole thing is like an amazing

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Speaker 2: world of Amys. Is so new and exciting and crazy,

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Speaker 2: and I still don't really believe it.

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Speaker 3: I know, it's pretty exciting. How did you get the news?

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Speaker 3: Were you waiting? Did you did you know that you

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Speaker 3: were you knew you were in contention to get nominated

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Speaker 3: from an Emmy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I guess, you know. People were like,

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Speaker 2: you should wake up, you should, you should be paying attention,

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Speaker 2: you should you should try to you know, try to

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Speaker 2: be up for it. We had a night shoot the

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Speaker 2: night before, actually we were shooting Shrinking at the time,

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Speaker 2: and we had a night shoot that went till three

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Speaker 2: four in the morning. So I was dead asleep and

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Speaker 2: my phone started buzzing. But I was kind of aware

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Speaker 2: because you know, they were like, I was on a

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Speaker 2: list or two, and people were definitely trying to you know,

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Speaker 2: get you know, get me, not gonna get you know me.

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Speaker 3: You know, it's always fascinating the people who don't try

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Speaker 3: to get nominated, but get nominated. I'm like, how much

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Speaker 3: effort has to go into trying to get nominated. So

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Speaker 3: tell us about the text you got from Harrison Ford

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Speaker 3: texted you right.

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Speaker 2: Oh my, my gosh, so well, I texted him first,

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Speaker 2: but he wrote back right away and yeah, I just

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Speaker 2: texted him, dude, And he wrote back the same thing, dude.

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Speaker 2: And then he said he was like, yeah, and and

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Speaker 2: big Head because we called Jason Siegel big head or

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Speaker 2: it's a part of the show. Yeah, he's called big Head.

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Speaker 2: But I love that Harrison kept that nickname. Yeah, it's

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Speaker 2: just so cool that he got nominated. I got nominated,

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Speaker 2: Jessica and Jason and the show and casting, Yeah, sound

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Speaker 2: like it just feels like like the show spoke to people.

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Speaker 3: Then definitely, it was.

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Speaker 2: A really nice So then that that day, so I

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Speaker 2: woke up, you know, to my phone buzzing. And then

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Speaker 2: that night we had our last night of shooting. Actually

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Speaker 2: it was our rap day and and so we all

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Speaker 2: got to be together and and sort of celebrate together.

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Speaker 3: That's so nice. That's such a nice show to watch.

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Speaker 3: It feels like you guys have such a nice vibe

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Speaker 3: between everyone, your character is great. I mean, it's a

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Speaker 3: perfect for It's just so like I know, Bill Lawrence

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Speaker 3: does this with his shows. He makes them very inviting,

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Speaker 3: you know, like these places, these kind of it's always

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Speaker 3: set in some backdrop that is very appealing that you

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Speaker 3: want to keep coming back to. And the neighbors are like,

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Speaker 3: you know, walking over to each other's houses. I don't

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Speaker 3: want to give any of my neighbors any ideas that

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Speaker 3: I would be interested in that. So well, that's that's

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Speaker 3: all we'll say on that front. But this is just

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Speaker 3: your most recent success because you have a huge, huge,

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Speaker 3: long history. You've done so many shows from Ungley Betty

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Speaker 3: to Younger to Broadway. You're in O'mary now, which everyone

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Speaker 3: can go see on Broadway, which is fucking exciting. So

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Speaker 3: congrats on all of that too. And I know that

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Speaker 3: you before we get into any of that stuff, I

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Speaker 3: know that you have a You've had a very long

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Speaker 3: romantic relationship with Barry Manilow.

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Speaker 2: Yes, thank you for asking. Yes, I'm a fan. I'm

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Speaker 2: a fanolo more than a fanolo. I am an m bassilo.

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Speaker 5: Wow.

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Speaker 2: I bring people to him. I introduced Make Make Virgins Fanelos.

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Speaker 2: I guess it was my I went back home after

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Speaker 2: my first year in New York, my first year of

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Speaker 2: drama school, and I was back in I'm from Texas

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Speaker 2: and I was back in Plano, Texas, driving around the suburbs,

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Speaker 2: and I was very melancholy because I felt like I

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Speaker 2: belonged in New York, you know, as soon as I

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Speaker 2: got to New York, I was like, this is where

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Speaker 2: I belong and and going back to Texas was really weird.

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Speaker 2: That first summer, and there was a new light FM

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Speaker 2: station in the Dallas Fort Worth Metroplex and they were

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Speaker 2: playing a lot of Berry Menilo and I'd never really

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Speaker 2: I mean, i'd heard him, but it was really speaking

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Speaker 2: to me this summer.

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Speaker 3: But was there any correlation between you coming out and

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Speaker 3: then appreciating Barry Manilo or was were you already out?

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Speaker 2: I was, you know, like ish at that time.

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Speaker 3: I was like, I was like, I think those two

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Speaker 3: dotsa connected, though.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I'm sure that's why he spoke to me,

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Speaker 2: So I'm sure that I was like, even though he's

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Speaker 2: singing about Mandy and Melissa and all these women, I'm

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Speaker 2: sure that I just like he meets Michael, He's actually

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Speaker 2: meet Michael here. But but I went into I was

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Speaker 2: so into him, and I went into you remember like

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Speaker 2: used CD store. Yeah, back in the late nineties. I

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Speaker 2: went into a used CD store in the suburbs and

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Speaker 2: I was like, I was a little liking. I was like,

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Speaker 2: I don't think it's I don't think it's cool to

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Speaker 2: like Barry Menlo. I don't know if I don't know

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Speaker 2: if I'm going to be I'm gonna be under the

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Speaker 2: radar here and I'm gonna pretend like I'm shopping for

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Speaker 2: my aunt or something. And so I went up to

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Speaker 2: the counter and I was like, you guys don't have

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Speaker 2: any I'd be like Barry Manilow CDs?

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Speaker 5: Do you?

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Speaker 2: And the woman looked at me and said, every record

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Speaker 2: store in the world has Barry manilo it to it

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Speaker 2: over there, And I went and bought the greatest hits

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Speaker 2: and just like lived my life in the car driving

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Speaker 2: around singing Barry Manilow. And then as soon as I

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Speaker 2: got on TV, as soon as I was on Ugly

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Speaker 2: Betty and I had even like the slightest bit of notoriety,

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Speaker 2: I made it my mission to meet him and find him.

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Speaker 3: And what else is fame for other than to meet

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Speaker 3: your Euros like, I mean, right, that's exactly what I

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Speaker 3: use it. Or two restaurants and heroes and had doctor appointments.

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Speaker 3: Let's be honest, Okay, I want to skip the line.

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Speaker 2: So is that a thing?

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Speaker 3: Yes, every doctor like, yeah, I mean doctors want celebrity clients,

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Speaker 3: so that works out nicely.

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Speaker 2: I never even thought of that. I use doc doc.

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Speaker 3: Then you go to a doctor, and you go to

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Speaker 3: a doctor like, they won't leave you in the waiting room.

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Speaker 3: They get you right away. You don't have to wait

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Speaker 3: because they don't want you to have to. You know.

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Speaker 3: It's just it's a nice perk that is probably underrated.

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Speaker 3: But I see doctors all the time because I just

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Speaker 3: want everything to be taken care of at all times,

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Speaker 3: you know what I mean. But anyway, I diverge back

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Speaker 3: to Barry Maneloe. I'm so sorry.

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Speaker 2: Continue I will always get us back. Means so much

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Speaker 2: to me. So I finally like, so I I met him,

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Speaker 2: I got I went to see him in Vegas and

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Speaker 2: I got to hang out backstage.

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Speaker 3: So when you met him, did you like a were

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Speaker 3: you able to contain your excitement or was it a

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Speaker 3: bit of a hot mess?

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Speaker 2: It was I played it cool to say I did

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Speaker 2: play it pretty cool. I was with some friends who were,

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Speaker 2: you know, like not as big a fan as I am.

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Speaker 2: Nobody is, and we've just seen the show in Vegas,

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Speaker 2: and they brought us backstage and it was everyone was

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Speaker 2: really nice, and it was like someone in the band's

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Speaker 2: birthday and they were singing Happy Birthday. And he has

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Speaker 2: a vineyard, so we were drinking a man of low

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Speaker 2: wine and he couldn't have been cooler. He was so

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Speaker 2: chill and so nice, and he didn't really know who

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Speaker 2: I was then, but I've been about, you know, like

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Speaker 2: twenty times since then, so now he does. And now

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Speaker 2: he's even like come to see me in some shows

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Speaker 2: and we'll occasionally like text. And he's very nice, very

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Speaker 2: cool man, and loves to perform. I think I think

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Speaker 2: he's like in some ways. I mean, I love his

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Speaker 2: music and I love watching him perform, but I also

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Speaker 2: am really inspired by him as a performer. He's eighty

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Speaker 2: two eighty three now and he's still like doing like

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Speaker 2: two hundred shows a year or something.

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Speaker 3: It's so crazy with these guys that are like seventy,

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Speaker 3: like seventy five eighty, like Bruce Springsteen's seventy five, Paul mccarton,

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Speaker 3: he's something like seventy nine. I think all of these guys,

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Speaker 3: and like I saw Paul McCartney at Glastonbury. He fucking

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Speaker 3: looks like like he's in his like late sixties. He's

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Speaker 3: bopping around going from concert to concert, show to show,

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Speaker 3: like Bruce Springsteen puts on a three hour show, Mick Jagger,

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Speaker 3: all these old guys. There must be stuff that you

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Speaker 3: can take that just keeps you young. I mean, I

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Speaker 3: know there is, because I'm fucking taking it. But like

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Speaker 3: just in the nick of time to have this like

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Speaker 3: this whole there's a whole, like you know, group of

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Speaker 3: older men who are just crushing it now. Stings still

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Speaker 3: performs all the time.

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Speaker 5: You know.

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Speaker 3: Harrison Ford, Yeah, Harrison Ford. And Harrison Ford's body is

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Speaker 3: still banging. He's running in movies.

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Speaker 4: I know.

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Speaker 3: No, it wouldn't you shut off in like one of

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Speaker 3: the first seasons of shrinking and you're like, excuse me,

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Speaker 3: who put that body back together? Because that's not natural?

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Speaker 3: Who has a he's like ripped. That's exciting. And he

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Speaker 3: came to see you do a show, right, Barry Maniloe.

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Speaker 2: Barry came to see this for well, he came to

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Speaker 2: see this show. The first time he came to see

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Speaker 2: me to show. I was doing this play off off

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Speaker 2: Broadway that was about Barbara Streisand and it was a

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Speaker 2: really brilliant play, one man play. I didn't write it,

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Speaker 2: but this guy, Jonathan Tolans wrote it. Really brilliant play

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Speaker 2: that imagined you know that she has a basement mall

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Speaker 2: at her house, like she has a shopping.

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Speaker 3: Mall, shopping mall.

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Speaker 4: H so she can't go to a normal mall because

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Speaker 4: she's Barbara straysand so.

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Speaker 3: So does she. There are shops there, retail shops, not

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Speaker 3: like not like the Gap or you know Lade Bryant,

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Speaker 3: not that.

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Speaker 2: No, Like it's like an antique store and a gift shoppie.

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Speaker 3: And who is picking out the items to sell in

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Speaker 3: the shop.

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Speaker 2: It's her collectibles. It's like dresses that she wore in movies. Yeah, okay,

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Speaker 2: doll She's collected all these dolls. There's a doll shop,

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Speaker 2: and there's like a yogurt shop, like an actual yogurt shop,

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Speaker 2: and so it's just like it looks like like a

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Speaker 2: European arcade and it's all in the basement of one

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Speaker 2: of the homes on her property, and she did a book,

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Speaker 2: you know, like back in twenty ten or eleven, a

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Speaker 2: coffee table book of this house, this huge, amazing house

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Speaker 2: and all the different homes on the compound and this

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Speaker 2: mall is chronicled. And this wonderful writer, John Tolans, was

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Speaker 2: looking at the book with friends and he was like,

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Speaker 2: how'd you like to be the guy who works down there?

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Speaker 2: And everyone laughed and it sparked this idea, so he

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Speaker 2: wrote a whole play imagining that a guy gets hired

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Speaker 2: to work there. And this play is called Buyer and

299
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Speaker 2: Seller seller like a basement seller, and it imagines this

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Speaker 2: guy gets hired to run the shops and he has

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Speaker 2: one customer and she comes down and pretends to shop,

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Speaker 2: and then it goes on and it's like not just

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Speaker 2: it's like and it's all imagined from his mind, and

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Speaker 2: people would come who know her, and they would flock

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Speaker 2: to it. I mean people who know her kind of

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Speaker 2: flocked to it. And they were always like, how did

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Speaker 2: he know? How did he know that she was like us?

308
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Speaker 2: Because he just had this incredible insight. So that's that's

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Speaker 2: the first time Barry Maneloe came to see me in

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Speaker 2: a play about it was and it was a play

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Speaker 2: about Barbara Striisand and it was so funny because we

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Speaker 2: had just started doing it. I wasn't even I didn't

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Speaker 2: like it. But it was a long monologue, like a

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Speaker 2: hundred minute monologue, and I was like, barely knew it.

315
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Speaker 2: I was still so nervous. And one day the house

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Speaker 2: manager I came in and the house managers like, you'll

317
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Speaker 2: never believe who bought tickets today. And I was like who.

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Speaker 2: He was like, I'll give you a hint. It's like

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Speaker 2: the male Barbara Streisand and I was like, are you

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Speaker 2: fucking kidding me? Berry Manela bought tickets at the STO

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Speaker 2: And I knew immediately who we went, and I said,

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Speaker 2: you will not tell me when he's coming. And then

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Speaker 2: I just pretended like he was there every night until

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Speaker 2: he finally showed up. And I was so good imagining

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Speaker 2: him in the audience. So now that's kind of a

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Speaker 2: thing I do. I just sort of pretend like he's there.

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Speaker 3: Okay, Well, first of all, I don't think Barrett Manilon

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Speaker 3: bought tickets. I think he called and said he wanted tickets,

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Speaker 3: So that that's the first inconsistency with your story. The

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Speaker 3: second question the second thing, because first of all, if

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Speaker 3: you bought ticke Us, nobody would know about it unless

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Speaker 3: he announced he was coming. Second of all, Michael, I

333
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Speaker 3: wonder do you think Barry was inspired by the show

334
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Speaker 3: enough to build his own underground mall, because that seems

335
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Speaker 3: like something you would do only when things got completely

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Speaker 3: out of control money wise, where you have so much

337
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Speaker 3: fucking money. You're like, I have a plane, I have

338
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Speaker 3: six homes. I don't really know what else to do.

339
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Speaker 3: I guess I don't want to go shopping again, but

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Speaker 3: that usually just involves a person coming to your house

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Speaker 3: and bringing you stuff.

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Speaker 2: But I like it she cloned her dogs too, you know.

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Speaker 3: I mean I would like to clone people before. I

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Speaker 3: would like to clone the dogs, because each dog brings

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Speaker 3: something different to the table. But some people who are

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Speaker 3: a pluses, I really just want to see them over

347
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Speaker 3: and over again, reappeared in different lifetimes, like.

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Speaker 2: Young again, like a young you know, like a young

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Speaker 2: Barry Metelo.

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Speaker 3: Again for example, perfect example, exactly. That's your that would

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Speaker 3: be your choice, my choice. I don't know. I'd have

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Speaker 3: to really think about that and narrow things down. Would

353
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Speaker 3: you clone, I would God, who would I clone? Well,

354
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Speaker 3: I don't know. I don't know. I have to put

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Speaker 3: thought into that because that's a serious question that I

356
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Speaker 3: just posited myself or posed myself. Maybe we'll circle back.

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Speaker 4: By the end of the ye.

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Speaker 3: Something will dawn on me. Something will dawn on me.

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Speaker 3: But they but like dogs like it also doesn't make

360
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Speaker 3: sense because they don't have the same experiences as the

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Speaker 3: as the dog before them. So even when you think

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Speaker 3: you're cloning them, they're going to have be a slightly

363
00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:32,320
Speaker 3: It's like twins. They have the same DNA and genetic composition,

364
00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:35,080
Speaker 3: but they don't end up exactly the same because of

365
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Speaker 3: their life experiences. So it's kind of a feudal thing

366
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Speaker 3: to do. But if you really liked the way somebody

367
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Speaker 3: looked and the way that they walked and like those things, yeah,

368
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Speaker 3: I would go for it. That sounds sexual and I

369
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Speaker 3: and it is. It should be so Michael, with all

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Speaker 3: these things that you do, like what I mean, you,

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Speaker 3: first of all, congrats on all of your success, because

372
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Speaker 3: it feels really good to be successful. And I could

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Speaker 3: tell that you are feeling it and you're having a

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Speaker 3: moment and you deserve it because you're obviously a really

375
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Speaker 3: hard worker. I don't know how anyone does anything on Broadway.

376
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Speaker 3: I have no idea how you guys do that schedule

377
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Speaker 3: you have to do You have to just give up

378
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Speaker 3: everything kind of.

379
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Speaker 2: I mean, it's kind of a even though this play

380
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Speaker 2: is only like eighty minutes long, Oh Mary, that we're

381
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Speaker 2: doing right now, Oh Mary's only like eighty minutes long,

382
00:17:16,359 --> 00:17:18,119
Speaker 2: but you do kind of have to plan your whole

383
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Speaker 2: day around the idea that I got that thing later. Yeah,

384
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Speaker 2: that's gonna be a lot of really contentation.

385
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Speaker 3: And sometimes twice a day, yeah.

386
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Speaker 2: Sometimes twice day. And actually, on this show it's really fun.

387
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Speaker 2: We do it at five on Saturday. We do it

388
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Speaker 2: at five pm, and then we do it immediately again

389
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Speaker 2: at eight thirty, which is so cool. Actually like to

390
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Speaker 2: do it back to back, right, because sometimes you do

391
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Speaker 2: it at too and then you don't do it again

392
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Speaker 2: until eight and you're like, all right, what am I

393
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Speaker 2: gonna do now? I got all this energy and all

394
00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:46,760
Speaker 2: these right right and doorphins running through my so something

395
00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:49,359
Speaker 2: like try to sleep and eat or whatever. But it

396
00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:51,880
Speaker 2: is a crazy and I mean, I love it so much.

397
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Speaker 2: I love being in theater so much. Because it's so

398
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Speaker 2: exciting to tell a whole story to a group of

399
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Speaker 2: people in the same and be in the same place

400
00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:00,399
Speaker 2: at the same time, because you did you know, you

401
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:01,800
Speaker 2: make a movie or a TV show and it's really

402
00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:06,080
Speaker 2: fun and it reaches way more people, obviously, but you're

403
00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:08,560
Speaker 2: such a cog in the wheel and you're not really

404
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:12,080
Speaker 2: part of of the You're like a part of the storytelling.

405
00:18:12,119 --> 00:18:14,879
Speaker 2: You're not part of the whole story. And when you

406
00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:17,800
Speaker 2: start a play at seven point thirty at night for

407
00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:20,719
Speaker 2: this group of nine hundred people and you finish it together,

408
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:24,680
Speaker 2: it's so special and you share something with them, and

409
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:29,200
Speaker 2: it's really thrilling because I always get kind of emotional

410
00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:31,760
Speaker 2: about it when I'm harsing a play. And then there

411
00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:33,880
Speaker 2: comes the point where you think, Okay, we've been doing

412
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Speaker 2: this in this room for each other, for the creative team,

413
00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:39,640
Speaker 2: over and over again. Maybe the designers come in, maybe

414
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:42,480
Speaker 2: we do it. But then at some point new people

415
00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:44,439
Speaker 2: are going to come in, and then it's just going

416
00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:47,440
Speaker 2: to be new people every night, every time, and they're

417
00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:49,760
Speaker 2: gonna have no idea what we're gonna do for them,

418
00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:52,080
Speaker 2: even if they know the story or they know the play.

419
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Speaker 2: It's it's still new. It's a new version, and it

420
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Speaker 2: gets it's really thrilling to imagine, Oh my gosh, these

421
00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:01,560
Speaker 2: people have no idea what We've been in a room

422
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:05,439
Speaker 2: incubating for three four weeks. They have no idea what's coming.

423
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Speaker 2: And this play, especially because it's Oh Mary, it's about

424
00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:13,520
Speaker 2: Mary Todd Lincoln. People know that coming in that it's

425
00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:17,520
Speaker 2: a comedy about Mary Todd Lincoln. And the premise is

426
00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:20,879
Speaker 2: that she's kind of a belligerent drunk who wants to

427
00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:23,320
Speaker 2: be a cabaret star, and that's kind of all you

428
00:19:23,359 --> 00:19:27,399
Speaker 2: really get. And then the story kind of just like

429
00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:31,200
Speaker 2: you know, Out of the Gate is hysterical and crazy,

430
00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:34,080
Speaker 2: and there are a lot of twists and turns, and

431
00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:38,000
Speaker 2: my character, especially Mary's teacher, like you, nobody really knows

432
00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:41,760
Speaker 2: what I'm coming in with. And it's very cool. It's

433
00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:44,240
Speaker 2: a very thrilling thing to do every night.

434
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:46,320
Speaker 3: It's nice. I can see how much you enjoy your work,

435
00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:48,679
Speaker 3: and I really like, I respect that a lot, because

436
00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:51,359
Speaker 3: in order to really be successful in this business, you

437
00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:53,399
Speaker 3: have to be doing it for the like the actual

438
00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:56,399
Speaker 3: enjoyment of the act of doing it. I remember in

439
00:19:56,440 --> 00:20:00,240
Speaker 3: my early career, I love doing my shows, but like

440
00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:01,919
Speaker 3: I would burn out so much that like when I

441
00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:04,080
Speaker 3: would be on stage doing stand up, I just I

442
00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:07,560
Speaker 3: liked getting off stage more than I liked being on stage.

443
00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:10,159
Speaker 3: Like I liked the idea of completion rather than the

444
00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:12,800
Speaker 3: act of And that's what I feel like I lost

445
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:15,640
Speaker 3: my Like then I had to recalibrate and come back

446
00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:18,639
Speaker 3: and actually be so present and really have something to

447
00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:23,000
Speaker 3: say and enjoy my time on stage, not going when

448
00:20:23,119 --> 00:20:25,719
Speaker 3: is is going to be over obviously, because that's like

449
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:27,480
Speaker 3: working at a desk job, you know what I mean.

450
00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:29,560
Speaker 3: If you're going to be in this business and you're

451
00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:32,200
Speaker 3: a performer, one of the things you have to do

452
00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:35,000
Speaker 3: is love to perform. You can't just like love all

453
00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:37,080
Speaker 3: the other things that come with the recognition.

454
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:40,200
Speaker 2: Did that come around for you? Did you come around? Yes?

455
00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:42,320
Speaker 3: Yes, I took a long break. I took a like

456
00:20:42,359 --> 00:20:44,800
Speaker 3: six years off of stand up after I quit Chelsea Lately.

457
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:48,119
Speaker 3: I didn't do stand up for six years, and that

458
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:51,399
Speaker 3: was a long break, probably too long. But when I

459
00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:54,480
Speaker 3: did come back, I actually it took a lot of

460
00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:57,440
Speaker 3: nerve and a lot of courage because I hadn't used

461
00:20:57,440 --> 00:20:59,960
Speaker 3: that muscle in so long. But I was I had

462
00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:03,240
Speaker 3: recalibrated in such a profound way. I'd gone to therapy.

463
00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:05,080
Speaker 3: I did all this work on myself, like I had

464
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:07,280
Speaker 3: stuff to deal with, and so when I came back

465
00:21:07,359 --> 00:21:09,359
Speaker 3: now it's like, I'm so solid when I go out there.

466
00:21:09,359 --> 00:21:11,280
Speaker 3: I'm so present when I go out there, I'm never

467
00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:13,240
Speaker 3: even looking at the time, you know what I mean, Like,

468
00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:15,879
Speaker 3: I'm never like like now I go over twenty minutes

469
00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:17,439
Speaker 3: and I'm like, oh shit, I got to wrap it up,

470
00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:21,200
Speaker 3: you know. So it's just a much much healthier way

471
00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:24,560
Speaker 3: for me as a performer. But that was also burnout.

472
00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:26,320
Speaker 3: You know, when you do too many things at once,

473
00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:29,320
Speaker 3: it's it's hard. And when you get successful, you want

474
00:21:29,359 --> 00:21:30,760
Speaker 3: to do all of the things that you are to

475
00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:33,960
Speaker 3: get coming your way. It's hard to say no to anything, right.

476
00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:36,720
Speaker 2: Totally, Like, yeah, can I ask you? I know you're

477
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:37,280
Speaker 2: interviewing me, but.

478
00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:40,119
Speaker 3: Next you know, this is actually an interview. This is

479
00:21:40,119 --> 00:21:42,679
Speaker 3: actually my interview. You're interviewing me, so go ahead.

480
00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:46,640
Speaker 2: Well, because you hosted the Critics Choice Awards this year, Well,

481
00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:48,520
Speaker 2: I know you do it every year, but this year

482
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:52,560
Speaker 2: I was there and lucky enough to receive one, and

483
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:57,640
Speaker 2: it was right after Trump was reinaugurated. Yes, and you

484
00:21:57,760 --> 00:22:00,199
Speaker 2: went there with some stuff and it was like it

485
00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:03,960
Speaker 2: was such a dicey time, you know, like everyone was

486
00:22:04,119 --> 00:22:07,280
Speaker 2: a phrase yes and and and everyone was like, what's

487
00:22:07,359 --> 00:22:09,840
Speaker 2: she going to say? Right? And you killed?

488
00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:10,520
Speaker 3: Oh thank you?

489
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:12,679
Speaker 2: I thought I thought you killed and right out of

490
00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:16,399
Speaker 2: the gate made like great, great topical. But so my

491
00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:18,719
Speaker 2: question is because I've hosted stuff. I hosted some stuff too,

492
00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:22,520
Speaker 2: and I really like to host, and I always think

493
00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:24,880
Speaker 2: it's not at all like to me. I mean, I've

494
00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:26,800
Speaker 2: never done stand up, but I feel like it's you're

495
00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:29,240
Speaker 2: so you have you have like parameters, and you have

496
00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:33,200
Speaker 2: a script and writers probably or I've always had writers

497
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:35,439
Speaker 2: that I've worked with. But how do you approach it

498
00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:38,960
Speaker 2: differently than stand up when you're hosting something, especially when

499
00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:41,840
Speaker 2: like there's such a when the when, when the news

500
00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:43,960
Speaker 2: cycle is so crazy and you want to be topical

501
00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:46,680
Speaker 2: on something like you know, live.

502
00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:49,160
Speaker 3: Television, Because I think it's like literally taking the air

503
00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:50,560
Speaker 3: out of you know what I mean, Like you have

504
00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:52,760
Speaker 3: to poke the like you have to like take the

505
00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:55,120
Speaker 3: air out of the balloon, Like there's so much tension

506
00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:57,720
Speaker 3: everyone is. It's the same way I approach stand up

507
00:22:57,760 --> 00:22:59,639
Speaker 3: quite frankly, even though it's a totally different room and

508
00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:01,919
Speaker 3: a totally different set of like, you know, it's a

509
00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:04,520
Speaker 3: totally different context because you're dealing with actors and actresses,

510
00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:06,640
Speaker 3: and people are there to win awards, so they're nervous

511
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:09,240
Speaker 3: and and they're competing with each other. There's all of

512
00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:11,000
Speaker 3: those elements, you know what I mean, So you just

513
00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:13,399
Speaker 3: kind of want to be the person that sets the

514
00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:15,920
Speaker 3: tone of the night. That's how I always think of it,

515
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:17,720
Speaker 3: Like I'm going to go out there and make them

516
00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:20,040
Speaker 3: understand that this is going to be fun, this isn't

517
00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:22,800
Speaker 3: going to be too serious, and I'm going to say

518
00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:25,000
Speaker 3: to things so that nobody else has to, like, you know,

519
00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:26,800
Speaker 3: I'll get it right out there, like it was the Blake.

520
00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:28,680
Speaker 3: It was right off the back of Blake Lively and

521
00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:31,399
Speaker 3: Ryan Reynolds things, So like I did not wait to

522
00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:34,159
Speaker 3: say that line because it was so it was at

523
00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:36,639
Speaker 3: the height. I mean, I don't know, I think it

524
00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:39,119
Speaker 3: even went higher after that, because there was such a

525
00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:41,760
Speaker 3: crescendo with all of that drama. But I had to

526
00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:44,840
Speaker 3: say something about that because that, with the backdrop of

527
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:48,760
Speaker 3: what we were experiencing politically, just felt so inane, right,

528
00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:52,960
Speaker 3: You're just like, wait, there's accusations of sexual misconduct, but

529
00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:56,359
Speaker 3: that's very blurry, and everything she seemed to be saying

530
00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:59,600
Speaker 3: he was refuting. And I'm like, wait, guys, we have

531
00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:03,320
Speaker 3: a mouch crisis that we're dealing with. Can you seriously

532
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:05,760
Speaker 3: get your shit together so we could fucking focus on

533
00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:08,199
Speaker 3: the and the loss of democracy? You know, that was

534
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:11,280
Speaker 3: before we were losing democracy. So yes, I appreciate the

535
00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:13,880
Speaker 3: question because it is a different skill set a little bit.

536
00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:16,760
Speaker 3: But the bottom line is like when you are hosting

537
00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:19,800
Speaker 3: one of those things, you are the leader and the conductor.

538
00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:22,320
Speaker 3: You have to set the tone and then everyone will follow.

539
00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:25,560
Speaker 3: You know, nobody else wants to be in charge of that. No,

540
00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:27,760
Speaker 3: it's you know, I used to be like, I'll never

541
00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:30,320
Speaker 3: host an award show, and I'm I'm doing it again

542
00:24:30,359 --> 00:24:32,000
Speaker 3: this year. I've do this will be like four years

543
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:33,960
Speaker 3: in a row. But it's the perfect award show for

544
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:37,560
Speaker 3: me because it isn't the Oscars where it's really serious

545
00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:40,600
Speaker 3: and if somebody loses, you know, they leave. The critics'

546
00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:42,760
Speaker 3: choice is more of a party, you know, it feels

547
00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:45,119
Speaker 3: that way anyway to me. Same with golden Clobes. That

548
00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:47,320
Speaker 3: seems like more of a party. But this is the

549
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:49,119
Speaker 3: question I wanted to get back to you about.

550
00:24:49,359 --> 00:24:50,760
Speaker 2: Okay, we can talk about me again.

551
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:52,960
Speaker 3: I guess yes. I just wanted to add one of

552
00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:56,720
Speaker 3: your jobs prior to booking Ugly Betty was medical marijuana testing.

553
00:24:57,400 --> 00:25:00,360
Speaker 3: I tried to get that job, like so many times.

554
00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:03,280
Speaker 3: I'm not joking, like whenever there's this you know what

555
00:25:03,359 --> 00:25:07,600
Speaker 3: maps are like that company it's a non company, no maps,

556
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:10,680
Speaker 3: like you know, the psychedelic kind of organization. I'm going

557
00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:12,800
Speaker 3: on it. I'm going on a boat with them to Antarctica.

558
00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:14,560
Speaker 3: So I mean, who knows if I ever come back,

559
00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:17,280
Speaker 3: But I'm going on this trip to Antarctica with like

560
00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:19,160
Speaker 3: one hundred people. And they're all like, you know, it's

561
00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:22,760
Speaker 3: all about psychedelics and the healing effect. But I've tried

562
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:27,359
Speaker 3: so hard to be the person that tests drugs medical marijuana.

563
00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:30,360
Speaker 3: Maybe ten fifteen years ago I was interested in testing that.

564
00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:32,760
Speaker 3: And I'm always like, bring me the drugs. I'll do

565
00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:35,240
Speaker 3: them because I'm like a horse, like I can take

566
00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:38,360
Speaker 3: a lot of drugs and still be standing. So how

567
00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:41,199
Speaker 3: did you get that job? And why? Why? Why did

568
00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:44,119
Speaker 3: I get it?

569
00:25:44,119 --> 00:25:46,040
Speaker 2: It was in the village voice. It was like.

570
00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:50,800
Speaker 3: That's why I didn't get in. Fuck, it's always the

571
00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:51,840
Speaker 3: village voice.

572
00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:54,119
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was like and it was always it was

573
00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:56,159
Speaker 2: a joke. We would always joke about it, like, you

574
00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:58,440
Speaker 2: know they they have these ads in the village voice,

575
00:25:59,119 --> 00:26:00,960
Speaker 2: are they real or the And I just answered one.

576
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:03,600
Speaker 2: And actually my good friend, my dearest friend, and I

577
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:06,840
Speaker 2: we were roommates, and we both answered it. And he

578
00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:10,120
Speaker 2: had this kind of like brain thing. It was, it's

579
00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:11,879
Speaker 2: not that serious, but at the time he was like

580
00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:14,760
Speaker 2: having some seizures and stuff and and and so he

581
00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:18,879
Speaker 2: did not get accepted, and he was so pissed because

582
00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:21,560
Speaker 2: he had this one little tiny anomaly. And I did

583
00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:25,280
Speaker 2: get accepted, and I would go in It was wild.

584
00:26:25,359 --> 00:26:26,960
Speaker 2: It was a wild thing. I would go into a

585
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:30,480
Speaker 2: hospital and I would sit in a hospital room and

586
00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:34,560
Speaker 2: it was a double blind test, so the person administering

587
00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:36,760
Speaker 2: it to me did not know what they were giving me.

588
00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:40,320
Speaker 2: And it was always a different level of strength. So

589
00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:43,560
Speaker 2: so like one time I got just high as fuck

590
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:46,639
Speaker 2: and I was I was so stoned and I was

591
00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:49,800
Speaker 2: like loopy, like like rolling around in the hospital playing with.

592
00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:52,080
Speaker 3: The with even better to be in a hospital and

593
00:26:52,119 --> 00:26:54,199
Speaker 3: another one of my favorite things as a hospital. I

594
00:26:54,240 --> 00:27:01,440
Speaker 3: love hospitals. You love take it care of. I love

595
00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:04,200
Speaker 3: when people are tending to me in a medical way.

596
00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:06,600
Speaker 3: I love when I can pretend that I'm in pain

597
00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:09,600
Speaker 3: and then they bring me something. I love that whole setup.

598
00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:12,840
Speaker 3: It's safe because anything's nothing that was so sick. What

599
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:15,080
Speaker 3: could possibly go wrong in a hospital If you're stoned

600
00:27:15,119 --> 00:27:16,920
Speaker 3: and high, it's like they're gonna come out to you.

601
00:27:18,119 --> 00:27:20,680
Speaker 2: Absolutely, And and she stayed with me. This she was

602
00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:23,840
Speaker 2: very cool, this lady, young lady stayed with me, and

603
00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:25,879
Speaker 2: she you know, made sure and she was sort of

604
00:27:26,119 --> 00:27:27,720
Speaker 2: and I remember when I would get really high. The

605
00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:29,720
Speaker 2: days I would get really high, I'd be like, she's

606
00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:32,399
Speaker 2: I think she's I think it's double blind, but maybe

607
00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:34,040
Speaker 2: it's not. I mean that's just what they're saying. And she,

608
00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:36,520
Speaker 2: you know, I get paranoid. And then I would take

609
00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:38,240
Speaker 2: these tests. So they would put me in front of

610
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:40,800
Speaker 2: a computer and I would take these like cognitive tests

611
00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:42,760
Speaker 2: that were like they would like a shape of pop up,

612
00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:45,040
Speaker 2: it's a triangle or whatever and fill in the blank.

613
00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:47,919
Speaker 2: And sometimes I was really good at it, and sometimes

614
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,679
Speaker 2: I wasn't. And then there were days when it was

615
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:52,480
Speaker 2: like a placebo. So they'd give me a joint. I

616
00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:53,679
Speaker 2: would smoke a few puffs of this.

617
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:55,440
Speaker 3: I was just going to ask. I would be pissed

618
00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:55,880
Speaker 3: about that.

619
00:27:56,119 --> 00:27:57,679
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I was like, well, this is nothing I

620
00:27:57,680 --> 00:27:59,720
Speaker 2: can tell. There's nothing going on here, and I'm bored,

621
00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:01,840
Speaker 2: and I would not sometimes I wouldn't do as well

622
00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:04,119
Speaker 2: on the test because I was like cranky and bored,

623
00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:07,120
Speaker 2: and and then they would feed me hospital.

624
00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:10,440
Speaker 3: For that's where you that's where uber eat comes into

625
00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:11,960
Speaker 3: the picture about you probably didn't have that then.

626
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:14,080
Speaker 2: So no, this was so long ago.

627
00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:15,800
Speaker 3: This is twenty years when they say, when you say

628
00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:18,280
Speaker 3: they give you cognitive tests, did they give you comprehension?

629
00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:21,439
Speaker 3: Like do they ask you like to read something and

630
00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:24,359
Speaker 3: then regurgitate it or like give us an option?

631
00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:27,440
Speaker 2: So it was it wasn't like that. It was all

632
00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:30,040
Speaker 2: on the computer. It was. It was I think there

633
00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:33,280
Speaker 2: might have been like some word. It was definitely memory stuff,

634
00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:34,639
Speaker 2: but it was simple games.

635
00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:35,120
Speaker 5: It was.

636
00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:35,560
Speaker 3: It was.

637
00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:38,880
Speaker 2: It was never like read an essay and tell us

638
00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:40,080
Speaker 2: what it was about. It was never. It was never

639
00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:42,560
Speaker 2: like that, And it was it was all on the computer,

640
00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:45,680
Speaker 2: So there was no it was always multiple choice or.

641
00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:48,080
Speaker 3: Film cause like when I'm stoned like, lately, I've been

642
00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:49,680
Speaker 3: staying at a friend's house because I'm waiting for my

643
00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:51,720
Speaker 3: house to be done. And I was and I taken

644
00:28:51,760 --> 00:28:53,840
Speaker 3: out able usually around like six or seven PM, just

645
00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:55,560
Speaker 3: to like set the tone for the night. And then

646
00:28:55,600 --> 00:28:57,160
Speaker 3: if we watch a show, and if it's not the

647
00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:59,760
Speaker 3: most compelling show, she'll be like, wait, what just happened

648
00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:02,520
Speaker 3: on my I have no idea, Like I cannot tell

649
00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:04,920
Speaker 3: you what we're watching. I don't know what situation led

650
00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:08,160
Speaker 3: to the situation we're watching. My comprehension skills are like,

651
00:29:08,440 --> 00:29:10,400
Speaker 3: but if I knew I had to pay attention, I

652
00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:12,640
Speaker 3: would I just am in La la land, you know

653
00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:15,480
Speaker 3: what I mean, which is yeah, totally. So I always wonder,

654
00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:17,360
Speaker 3: like I'm like, I should take a comprehension skill and

655
00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:19,520
Speaker 3: see if I had to pay attention, if I could

656
00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:20,959
Speaker 3: under these conditions.

657
00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:23,560
Speaker 2: It is true that it's true when you're stone that

658
00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:26,360
Speaker 2: like you don't remember things. But I have. I have.

659
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:28,320
Speaker 2: I have started well, I've been doing it for a

660
00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:31,640
Speaker 2: while now. But when I have to learn lines, yeah,

661
00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:33,960
Speaker 2: like a big chunk of text or something or a scene,

662
00:29:34,080 --> 00:29:38,440
Speaker 2: I will do it high. I will learn it high.

663
00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:38,000
Speaker 3: Uh.

664
00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:41,000
Speaker 2: And then and then like immediately when I'm high and

665
00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:42,560
Speaker 2: I try to, Like, if I say, will you run

666
00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:43,959
Speaker 2: this with me? I won't be able to do it.

667
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:47,080
Speaker 2: But then like when I go back to it later sober, yeah,

668
00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:48,080
Speaker 2: it's there. So you think.

669
00:29:48,440 --> 00:29:51,760
Speaker 3: You think learning it while you're stoned helps cement the memorization.

670
00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:55,000
Speaker 3: I think so Oh thinks this is a great ad

671
00:29:55,000 --> 00:30:02,720
Speaker 3: for marijuana. This podcast consort by t Indica and Sativa.

672
00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:04,840
Speaker 3: I hate what people ask, is it Indica or Steva.

673
00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:06,640
Speaker 3: I'm like, it's whatever the fuck you want it to be.

674
00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:09,040
Speaker 3: Mind ever matter, It doesn't matter what you take. You

675
00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:10,520
Speaker 3: can make it whatever you want. If you want to

676
00:30:10,520 --> 00:30:13,200
Speaker 3: stay up, stay up. But people are weak, you know

677
00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:18,480
Speaker 3: what I mean, Michael, People are very weak. You're right, Okay,

678
00:30:18,480 --> 00:30:19,760
Speaker 3: We're going to take a break and we're going to

679
00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:21,360
Speaker 3: be right back with Michael Uri.

680
00:30:22,480 --> 00:30:24,280
Speaker 4: This week. We'd love to hear from queer couples. If

681
00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:26,440
Speaker 4: you're a queer couple with a question, please write into

682
00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:31,400
Speaker 4: Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com.

683
00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:36,120
Speaker 3: We're back with Michael Uri. Currently. He's currently enjoy he's

684
00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:40,040
Speaker 3: basking in the glory of his Emmy nomination for shrinking

685
00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:42,840
Speaker 3: and we take callers on this show. So we're going

686
00:30:42,880 --> 00:30:45,960
Speaker 3: to give some advice out to people who are calling it. Okay,

687
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:47,000
Speaker 3: are you ready for that action?

688
00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:48,800
Speaker 2: Yes, I believe you are.

689
00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:51,440
Speaker 3: I believe you in your corkboard or whatever. I'm looking

690
00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:53,200
Speaker 3: at College cement already.

691
00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:58,640
Speaker 4: All right, Well, our first question comes from Mandy, and oh, Mandy,

692
00:30:58,840 --> 00:30:59,880
Speaker 4: this is a very many.

693
00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:05,560
Speaker 2: She came in, she gave without talking. I sent her away.

694
00:31:06,200 --> 00:31:06,800
Speaker 3: I plan that.

695
00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:09,760
Speaker 4: No, I didn't. Actually, so, Mandy says, my sister is

696
00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:12,600
Speaker 4: getting married in September. She lives in Detroit and I

697
00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:15,520
Speaker 4: live in the UK. About a year ago, I completely

698
00:31:15,520 --> 00:31:18,480
Speaker 4: stopped talking to my parents. My dad was an alcoholic

699
00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:20,720
Speaker 4: and my mom enabled him. When I brought this up

700
00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:23,480
Speaker 4: to my mom recently, she acted completely shocked, like she

701
00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:26,600
Speaker 4: had no clue my dad ever treated us poorly. I

702
00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:28,880
Speaker 4: already was keeping a distance from my parents, but that

703
00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:31,480
Speaker 4: moment of pure gas lighting made me decide to cut

704
00:31:31,520 --> 00:31:35,080
Speaker 4: off contact completely. I've thought long and hard about whether

705
00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:37,160
Speaker 4: to go to my sister's wedding, and I truly think

706
00:31:37,200 --> 00:31:39,320
Speaker 4: it's best for my mental health to not get involved

707
00:31:39,320 --> 00:31:42,400
Speaker 4: in that family situation. My sister and I talk regularly,

708
00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:44,240
Speaker 4: but I haven't been back to the US to visit

709
00:31:44,280 --> 00:31:46,760
Speaker 4: family in almost a decade, nor has my sister come

710
00:31:46,760 --> 00:31:49,920
Speaker 4: to visit me, and I've never met this fiance, even

711
00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:52,800
Speaker 4: on video chat. My sister has asked me to be

712
00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:55,800
Speaker 4: her maid of honor. I sort of said yes, although

713
00:31:55,840 --> 00:31:57,680
Speaker 4: I had explained to her that I would not at

714
00:31:57,680 --> 00:31:59,400
Speaker 4: all feel bad if she gave the role to her

715
00:31:59,440 --> 00:32:01,959
Speaker 4: best friend since I wouldn't be there or be doing

716
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:04,440
Speaker 4: any of the mative honor jobs. Ahead of time, I

717
00:32:04,480 --> 00:32:06,520
Speaker 4: know that I need to tell her sooner rather than later.

718
00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:09,200
Speaker 4: I'm just not sure how to tell her. My family

719
00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:11,520
Speaker 4: has this whole passive aggressive vibe, and I don't want

720
00:32:11,520 --> 00:32:14,000
Speaker 4: her to freeze me out because of this. My inclination

721
00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:16,040
Speaker 4: is to lie and say I got a job offer

722
00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:17,600
Speaker 4: and I'm not going to be able to take vacation

723
00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:21,160
Speaker 4: time in the first six months. But any advice, sincerely, Mandy.

724
00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:22,000
Speaker 4: And this one's just an.

725
00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:25,280
Speaker 3: EMO, Okay, Mandy, I'll go first for this one, Michael. Mandy.

726
00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:27,480
Speaker 3: First of all, I think you have to go to

727
00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:29,880
Speaker 3: your sister's wedding. You don't have to stay there for

728
00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:32,000
Speaker 3: five days or three days. Even you can fly in

729
00:32:32,040 --> 00:32:34,960
Speaker 3: the night before if you want. If you want to

730
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:37,080
Speaker 3: avoid your parents, I understand that, but you said yes

731
00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:39,320
Speaker 3: to your sister, and that's your sister, and she's getting

732
00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:44,040
Speaker 3: married once and like you already kind of committed, so

733
00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:46,200
Speaker 3: like to say you got a job is a way

734
00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:49,560
Speaker 3: to end. It's like a relationship breaker. Like now if

735
00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:52,120
Speaker 3: you back out, that's not good. You already told her

736
00:32:52,160 --> 00:32:54,880
Speaker 3: you would do it and follow through is kind of

737
00:32:54,920 --> 00:32:57,440
Speaker 3: like ninety percent of life. In my opinion, I think

738
00:32:57,480 --> 00:32:59,800
Speaker 3: you have to follow through on your commitments, and I

739
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:02,800
Speaker 3: think you have to take your baggage that your family has,

740
00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:06,480
Speaker 3: your family baggage and literally just be above it for

741
00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:08,320
Speaker 3: the duration of time that you're going to be home

742
00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:11,840
Speaker 3: for your sister's wedding. Suck it up, demonstrate what a

743
00:33:11,840 --> 00:33:13,760
Speaker 3: good sister looks like, and then get the fuck out

744
00:33:13,760 --> 00:33:16,160
Speaker 3: of there. Don't get involved in any drama, be a

745
00:33:16,200 --> 00:33:19,120
Speaker 3: great bridesmaid, do anything you can for your sister. Let

746
00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:21,080
Speaker 3: her know you can only come in for a limited

747
00:33:21,120 --> 00:33:23,000
Speaker 3: amount of time. I mean, you're coming from the UK

748
00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:26,920
Speaker 3: right to America, so maybe it's only three days or whatever.

749
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:28,920
Speaker 3: But you're going to feel better for doing it than

750
00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:31,600
Speaker 3: you're going to feel for canceling on her. That's going

751
00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:34,479
Speaker 3: to create a bunch of drama. I promise you, Michael,

752
00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:35,160
Speaker 3: what do you think?

753
00:33:35,600 --> 00:33:37,400
Speaker 2: I totally agree. I think you're totally right. I also

754
00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:41,280
Speaker 2: think especially the line the possibility of telling a lie.

755
00:33:41,640 --> 00:33:44,200
Speaker 2: First of all, you just you just told it on

756
00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:46,400
Speaker 2: this podcast, which is you know, like what if what

757
00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:47,480
Speaker 2: if she finds out, well.

758
00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:49,360
Speaker 3: She's this is a write in, It could be anybody,

759
00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:51,520
Speaker 3: and also she probably used a fake name, like also

760
00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:54,400
Speaker 3: that that should just cancel this so specific? Well, it

761
00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:57,840
Speaker 3: is just it is specific. Actually, I don't know why

762
00:33:57,840 --> 00:33:59,800
Speaker 3: I'm defending it. I fucking say shit all the time

763
00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:01,600
Speaker 3: that I think no one's going to hear, and everyone

764
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:07,720
Speaker 3: fucking hears podcastle Yeah exactly. My sister's like, why are

765
00:34:07,720 --> 00:34:09,520
Speaker 3: you talking about our problems on your podcast? I'm like,

766
00:34:09,520 --> 00:34:13,399
Speaker 3: where else am I supposed to air my dirty laundry?

767
00:34:14,239 --> 00:34:16,160
Speaker 3: But yeah, like when you make a commitment, you got

768
00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:18,120
Speaker 3: to follow through on a commitment. That's like being an

769
00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:20,479
Speaker 3: adult and a grown up and everything that's important about

770
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:24,120
Speaker 3: you know, having a good kind of moral compass.

771
00:34:24,560 --> 00:34:26,759
Speaker 2: Yes, I totally agree. And I also think lying is

772
00:34:27,320 --> 00:34:30,160
Speaker 2: I mean, white lies are one thing, but that's a

773
00:34:30,160 --> 00:34:33,640
Speaker 2: major lie. And I just think lying is so dangerous

774
00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:36,880
Speaker 2: because the truth is always easier to remember, yes, and

775
00:34:37,120 --> 00:34:38,000
Speaker 2: it's a long line.

776
00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:40,200
Speaker 3: And also, how does somebody feel when you say, oh, sorry,

777
00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:41,759
Speaker 3: I got a job, I can't I got a job offer,

778
00:34:41,760 --> 00:34:43,600
Speaker 3: I can't come to your wedding. It's like that's kind

779
00:34:43,640 --> 00:34:45,640
Speaker 3: of like a lame excuse for a wedding should be

780
00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:49,000
Speaker 3: paramount to a job offer, especially when it's not like,

781
00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:51,520
Speaker 3: you know, she's talking about what sounds like a freelancer

782
00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:53,640
Speaker 3: type situation anyway.

783
00:34:53,719 --> 00:34:56,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, and he made a commitment, and you know, and

784
00:34:56,800 --> 00:34:59,719
Speaker 2: take the high road. Yes, your sister, you'd be the

785
00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:00,239
Speaker 2: better person.

786
00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:02,359
Speaker 3: Particular, Yeah, because if you're the one who's a victim

787
00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:03,960
Speaker 3: of gas sighting and you're like, I can't believe I

788
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:06,920
Speaker 3: was gaslighted, it's like then you're a victim. Like are

789
00:35:06,920 --> 00:35:08,400
Speaker 3: you a victim? Do you want to be a victim

790
00:35:08,480 --> 00:35:10,600
Speaker 3: or do you want to be you know, on higher ground.

791
00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:13,919
Speaker 4: Yeah, and you can even express your concerns to her, like, hey,

792
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:15,719
Speaker 4: can we maybe make sure I'm not sitting next to

793
00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:17,600
Speaker 4: mom and dad for a lot of this, And then

794
00:35:17,680 --> 00:35:20,680
Speaker 4: also like make sure to maintain your autonomy, Like it's

795
00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:22,760
Speaker 4: easy to be like I'll stay with a family member

796
00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:24,880
Speaker 4: or my sister or whatever and ride with people no,

797
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:27,359
Speaker 4: get a car, get a hotel, like, make sure you

798
00:35:27,360 --> 00:35:28,160
Speaker 4: can have your own side.

799
00:35:28,239 --> 00:35:30,040
Speaker 3: Get a hooker, bring a hooker to the wedding. That'll

800
00:35:30,080 --> 00:35:31,799
Speaker 3: bring a great way to not get invited back.

801
00:35:34,120 --> 00:35:37,160
Speaker 2: All right, man, really good having your own car?

802
00:35:37,239 --> 00:35:39,799
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's such a in general in life to

803
00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:44,280
Speaker 3: anyone who's listening, if you can get your own car, yes, yeah,

804
00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:47,320
Speaker 3: that always get a car?

805
00:35:48,360 --> 00:35:50,600
Speaker 4: All right, Well, Mandy, let us know how it goes.

806
00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:54,000
Speaker 4: Our first caller today is Mitchell. His subject line of

807
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:56,080
Speaker 4: his email is I'm definitely the asshole.

808
00:35:57,080 --> 00:35:57,319
Speaker 3: Hello.

809
00:35:57,520 --> 00:35:59,120
Speaker 4: I'm a thirty six year old man and I've been

810
00:35:59,160 --> 00:36:01,560
Speaker 4: with my husband forty years old for almost ten years,

811
00:36:01,640 --> 00:36:05,839
Speaker 4: married for five and we've never had sex. When we

812
00:36:05,880 --> 00:36:07,840
Speaker 4: first met, he would give me a peck on the

813
00:36:07,840 --> 00:36:11,320
Speaker 4: lips occasionally, never with tongue, and the only time he

814
00:36:11,320 --> 00:36:13,200
Speaker 4: would try to do sexual things with me or even

815
00:36:13,239 --> 00:36:15,600
Speaker 4: French kiss is when he was drunk. After about a

816
00:36:15,680 --> 00:36:18,520
Speaker 4: year of being together, I started cheating. I was looking

817
00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:20,160
Speaker 4: for what I wasn't getting at home, and I'm one

818
00:36:20,239 --> 00:36:22,360
Speaker 4: hundred percent positive that I'm the asshole for this. I

819
00:36:22,400 --> 00:36:23,880
Speaker 4: feel like a piece of shit for the amount of

820
00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:25,960
Speaker 4: times which I can't even count that I've cheated on

821
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:26,520
Speaker 4: my husband.

822
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:27,680
Speaker 3: Him not being.

823
00:36:27,600 --> 00:36:29,680
Speaker 4: Intimate with me is not an excuse for cheating, and

824
00:36:29,719 --> 00:36:32,440
Speaker 4: I'm well aware of that. I was attracted him and

825
00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:34,960
Speaker 4: wanted a sexual relationship with him. This is something I

826
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:37,200
Speaker 4: made very clear from the beginning, and I always let

827
00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:39,000
Speaker 4: him know that I thought he was sexy. I wanted

828
00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:41,480
Speaker 4: to be intimate, but he seemed very uninterested in that

829
00:36:41,520 --> 00:36:43,879
Speaker 4: part of our lives. I've asked him multiple times why,

830
00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:46,279
Speaker 4: and he says, I've just never been very sexual because

831
00:36:46,320 --> 00:36:48,600
Speaker 4: I don't know what to do. So much time has

832
00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:51,040
Speaker 4: gone by, and now the attraction I once had is gone.

833
00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:54,120
Speaker 4: It's taken away my confidence in myself. Not having someone

834
00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:56,480
Speaker 4: want me in that way has left me feeling unattractive

835
00:36:56,480 --> 00:36:59,600
Speaker 4: and worthless. About a month ago, I asked for a separation.

836
00:37:00,040 --> 00:37:02,320
Speaker 4: I was so afraid to do this because he's the breadwinner.

837
00:37:02,600 --> 00:37:05,239
Speaker 4: He does one hundred percent not want a separation and

838
00:37:05,280 --> 00:37:07,600
Speaker 4: thinks that therapy and still living together will work, but

839
00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:09,840
Speaker 4: I disagree. I think I need to learn to be

840
00:37:09,840 --> 00:37:11,839
Speaker 4: financially stable on my own and know how to make

841
00:37:11,840 --> 00:37:13,560
Speaker 4: it in the world without someone there to pick up

842
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:16,560
Speaker 4: the pieces. I also feel so bad about the horrible

843
00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:18,920
Speaker 4: husband I've been to him, I feel like he definitely

844
00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:21,200
Speaker 4: deserves better than me. At this point, he's my best

845
00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:23,080
Speaker 4: friend and a roommate that I share a bed with,

846
00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:26,479
Speaker 4: and an occasional peck on the lips. To complicate things.

847
00:37:26,480 --> 00:37:29,040
Speaker 4: We share custody of my sister's kids. I moved out

848
00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:31,200
Speaker 4: of our house last week with my fifteen year old niece,

849
00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:33,759
Speaker 4: and the boys stayed with him. So the question, am

850
00:37:33,760 --> 00:37:35,759
Speaker 4: I the asshole for wanting out of this marriage, for

851
00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:38,600
Speaker 4: wanting better for myself from a partner and wanting to

852
00:37:38,640 --> 00:37:40,880
Speaker 4: give my best self to a partner in return? Am

853
00:37:40,920 --> 00:37:43,319
Speaker 4: I the most selfish person ever? I know that I'm

854
00:37:43,320 --> 00:37:45,120
Speaker 4: not the victim in the situation and that I am

855
00:37:45,160 --> 00:37:47,239
Speaker 4: the villain. This is definitely not the person I ever

856
00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:50,000
Speaker 4: saw myself becoming. I was always the one getting cheated on,

857
00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:52,160
Speaker 4: and now I'm the one who's cheated. I love your

858
00:37:52,200 --> 00:37:54,480
Speaker 4: podcast and enjoy the advice you have to offer others,

859
00:37:54,520 --> 00:37:56,320
Speaker 4: so I hope you have some for me. Mitchell.

860
00:37:57,040 --> 00:37:59,760
Speaker 3: Hi, Mitchell, this is our special guest, Michael.

861
00:38:00,920 --> 00:38:02,439
Speaker 5: It's fun to meet you too.

862
00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:03,440
Speaker 2: You're not a bad person.

863
00:38:03,560 --> 00:38:06,959
Speaker 3: No, you're not a bad person. Stop self immolating like that.

864
00:38:07,440 --> 00:38:11,400
Speaker 3: You're not a bad person. Your actions are circumstantial, So

865
00:38:11,680 --> 00:38:14,680
Speaker 3: first of all, stop that you have to start to

866
00:38:14,680 --> 00:38:16,839
Speaker 3: flip the script on that, like you were in a

867
00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:21,080
Speaker 3: situation that was untenable and the reason I mean, and

868
00:38:21,200 --> 00:38:26,120
Speaker 3: it's very crazy to even hear, and I'm sure it's

869
00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:29,560
Speaker 3: not as uncommon as I'm acting. It is that you

870
00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:32,520
Speaker 3: were in a non sexual marriage for as many years

871
00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:36,279
Speaker 3: as you were. Like, that's not fun for you, and

872
00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:38,279
Speaker 3: I'm sure it's not fun for your partner because he

873
00:38:38,360 --> 00:38:41,280
Speaker 3: sounds like I have a friend who's gay who doesn't

874
00:38:41,520 --> 00:38:44,200
Speaker 3: like to have sex either, and I just I don't

875
00:38:44,239 --> 00:38:48,080
Speaker 3: understand that because the human touch, even sexually, like you know,

876
00:38:48,120 --> 00:38:51,960
Speaker 3: people need that. It's like scientific. And I can understand

877
00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:53,920
Speaker 3: that you're you're a man, you have needs and you

878
00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:55,919
Speaker 3: went out and met your needs because they weren't being

879
00:38:55,920 --> 00:38:58,040
Speaker 3: met at home. So I don't think you're a terrible

880
00:38:58,080 --> 00:39:01,200
Speaker 3: person at alll do you want to talk a little

881
00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:04,120
Speaker 3: bit first, like except from gay man to gay man

882
00:39:04,120 --> 00:39:06,239
Speaker 3: since I'm a woman, I'm going to come in later.

883
00:39:06,440 --> 00:39:09,600
Speaker 2: But yeah, I also know that that's the thing, that

884
00:39:09,640 --> 00:39:14,080
Speaker 2: there are people who are not very sexual. It sounds

885
00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:18,080
Speaker 2: like your husband maybe didn't. It feels like he has

886
00:39:18,160 --> 00:39:21,960
Speaker 2: never tried it, had it been open to it, And

887
00:39:22,560 --> 00:39:25,400
Speaker 2: that could be out of disinterest, or it could be

888
00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:28,319
Speaker 2: out of fear. But I think you can have a

889
00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:32,080
Speaker 2: relationship with him that is non sexual. But that doesn't

890
00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:34,120
Speaker 2: mean that you can't have a sexual relationship with other

891
00:39:34,160 --> 00:39:37,200
Speaker 2: people that you know. Like I mean, also like us,

892
00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:40,040
Speaker 2: gay is like things are pretty fluid often. You know,

893
00:39:40,080 --> 00:39:43,080
Speaker 2: there's a lot of open relationships in the gay community,

894
00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:45,280
Speaker 2: and there's a lot of we don't have to subscribe

895
00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:49,480
Speaker 2: to heteronormative ways of monogamy. So I feel like there

896
00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:52,080
Speaker 2: are probably some boundaries you can set with each other.

897
00:39:52,800 --> 00:39:54,239
Speaker 2: I do think, you know, I was saying, as I'm

898
00:39:54,239 --> 00:39:56,800
Speaker 2: the last person, I do think lying is bad because

899
00:39:56,880 --> 00:39:59,520
Speaker 2: it's always easier to remember the truth. And it's just like,

900
00:39:59,640 --> 00:40:02,720
Speaker 2: you know, I'll just haunt you. But I feel like, honest,

901
00:40:02,880 --> 00:40:06,480
Speaker 2: frank conversations are possible. You're down the road. I mean,

902
00:40:06,520 --> 00:40:08,319
Speaker 2: you've been doing this for so long now, so I

903
00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:11,280
Speaker 2: get it that it's complicated, and I have kids, and there's.

904
00:40:11,239 --> 00:40:13,600
Speaker 3: And you moved out so many right, you moved out.

905
00:40:13,480 --> 00:40:15,960
Speaker 5: And you've moved out, soved out about a week and

906
00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:16,799
Speaker 5: a half aayo, so.

907
00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:19,239
Speaker 3: You've basically done all of the things that I would

908
00:40:19,239 --> 00:40:22,279
Speaker 3: tell you that you should do already. You've kind of

909
00:40:22,280 --> 00:40:25,680
Speaker 3: taken control of the situation. So what's the temperature now

910
00:40:25,719 --> 00:40:28,439
Speaker 3: between you and your husband or ex husband or however

911
00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:29,120
Speaker 3: you want to frame it.

912
00:40:29,239 --> 00:40:32,640
Speaker 5: Yeah, still married, but yeah, I think those the situation's more.

913
00:40:33,280 --> 00:40:36,680
Speaker 5: It's easy. I would dare say it's the best fucking

914
00:40:36,719 --> 00:40:39,320
Speaker 5: divorce ever if it's going to happen like that, because

915
00:40:39,360 --> 00:40:43,480
Speaker 5: it's so easy. And he obviously, like I said, he

916
00:40:43,520 --> 00:40:46,279
Speaker 5: doesn't want to be separated or to get divorced. This

917
00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:48,279
Speaker 5: is not the word he wants to go down. But

918
00:40:49,120 --> 00:40:51,279
Speaker 5: I just at this point, I feel like it's the

919
00:40:51,360 --> 00:40:53,399
Speaker 5: right thing to do. And that's why I moved out

920
00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:56,960
Speaker 5: because I feel like I keep choosing his happiness over mind,

921
00:40:57,000 --> 00:40:58,640
Speaker 5: which is that he wants to be with me, and

922
00:40:59,080 --> 00:41:02,640
Speaker 5: have said continuous throughout our relationship that he if we

923
00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:05,640
Speaker 5: don't make it, or if something ever happened between us,

924
00:41:05,640 --> 00:41:07,719
Speaker 5: he would never want to be with anyone else. It

925
00:41:07,760 --> 00:41:10,000
Speaker 5: would just be me and I'm the only one he

926
00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:13,399
Speaker 5: wants and all these sweet things. But I also feel

927
00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:16,440
Speaker 5: like that's made me stay longer because I'm so afraid

928
00:41:16,480 --> 00:41:19,040
Speaker 5: of hurting him and because he is a good guy,

929
00:41:19,239 --> 00:41:22,719
Speaker 5: but I'm just not happy, yeah, and haven't been for

930
00:41:22,760 --> 00:41:24,799
Speaker 5: so long, and I just feel like it's time to

931
00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:28,759
Speaker 5: choosing myself. But even though so with that, I was like, well,

932
00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:30,880
Speaker 5: I kind of still feel like the asshole for like

933
00:41:31,520 --> 00:41:34,600
Speaker 5: eating all these times that I have and I should

934
00:41:34,600 --> 00:41:37,920
Speaker 5: have chosen myself Ben and maybe not done that so

935
00:41:37,960 --> 00:41:40,400
Speaker 5: I didn't have to worry about the hurt feelings that

936
00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:42,600
Speaker 5: I would have for having done that to someone.

937
00:41:43,120 --> 00:41:45,400
Speaker 2: Does he know about your infidelities?

938
00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:49,080
Speaker 5: He does not. I think I do think that he suspects,

939
00:41:49,320 --> 00:41:52,759
Speaker 5: but he I think he just doesn't want to. He's

940
00:41:53,200 --> 00:41:55,719
Speaker 5: that desperately not wanting to lose me that he just

941
00:41:56,040 --> 00:41:57,719
Speaker 5: he would never say anything if he did know.

942
00:41:58,480 --> 00:42:00,719
Speaker 2: And did you ever broach the eye idea of doing

943
00:42:00,719 --> 00:42:01,839
Speaker 2: an open relationship?

944
00:42:02,400 --> 00:42:05,960
Speaker 5: No, because I, as crazy as this sounds, I didn't

945
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:08,160
Speaker 5: want that. But that's not what I want. I would

946
00:42:08,200 --> 00:42:10,279
Speaker 5: love to be with someone who just needs to be

947
00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:12,840
Speaker 5: with me and be in a relationship with just me.

948
00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:16,239
Speaker 5: That's what I want from a relationship, which is why

949
00:42:16,239 --> 00:42:18,080
Speaker 5: it's so crazy that I've done what I've done in

950
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:18,960
Speaker 5: our relationship.

951
00:42:19,560 --> 00:42:22,319
Speaker 3: And does he understand that the relationship is over now.

952
00:42:22,640 --> 00:42:26,120
Speaker 3: Is he in any sort of acceptance mode about that?

953
00:42:26,680 --> 00:42:29,040
Speaker 5: Not at all. Now do you think that we're going

954
00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:31,840
Speaker 5: to be separated, that will work things out, We'll get therapy,

955
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:34,800
Speaker 5: and it's all going to work out for the best.

956
00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:38,280
Speaker 5: And I just don't see that happening.

957
00:42:38,520 --> 00:42:42,839
Speaker 3: Okay, Well, I think, first of all, congratulations, you did

958
00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:45,320
Speaker 3: a great job by moving things along in the right direction.

959
00:42:45,440 --> 00:42:47,880
Speaker 3: You're not still living there. You've made big moves and

960
00:42:47,920 --> 00:42:50,640
Speaker 3: that takes a lot of courage, so you're on the

961
00:42:50,680 --> 00:42:53,520
Speaker 3: right track. Stop talking to yourself like you're a bad person.

962
00:42:53,520 --> 00:42:55,359
Speaker 3: You're not a bad person. You have needs and they

963
00:42:55,360 --> 00:42:58,440
Speaker 3: were being met, so you went elsewhere. Okay, So that's okay.

964
00:42:58,920 --> 00:43:01,120
Speaker 3: I don't think I think that it would be worth

965
00:43:01,160 --> 00:43:04,360
Speaker 3: going to a couple's counselor therapist with him for a

966
00:43:04,400 --> 00:43:08,520
Speaker 3: few sessions to rip the band aid off slowly and

967
00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:11,880
Speaker 3: explain to him because eventually he's going to understand that.

968
00:43:11,960 --> 00:43:14,439
Speaker 3: He's going to be happier too, you know what I mean,

969
00:43:14,600 --> 00:43:18,720
Speaker 3: Like he's going to understand the issue with your sister's kids.

970
00:43:19,120 --> 00:43:21,840
Speaker 3: You're basically best friends already. That's what you are, is

971
00:43:21,880 --> 00:43:25,440
Speaker 3: best friends, and you can continue that relationship once you've

972
00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:28,600
Speaker 3: made a few things clear to him and that this

973
00:43:28,680 --> 00:43:31,600
Speaker 3: isn't enough for you sexually, and it might be helpful

974
00:43:31,680 --> 00:43:33,759
Speaker 3: based on what a therapist advises you, to be a

975
00:43:33,760 --> 00:43:37,359
Speaker 3: little bit honest about your extracurricular activities to let him

976
00:43:37,360 --> 00:43:39,560
Speaker 3: know how serious it is. Like I don't want to

977
00:43:39,600 --> 00:43:42,560
Speaker 3: be like that. I want to be in a loving, committed,

978
00:43:42,840 --> 00:43:45,560
Speaker 3: monogamous relationship, but I'm not getting what I need from you,

979
00:43:45,640 --> 00:43:48,160
Speaker 3: So this is not workable for me. And it's been

980
00:43:48,239 --> 00:43:51,400
Speaker 3: so many years I no longer even have these feelings

981
00:43:51,440 --> 00:43:53,919
Speaker 3: towards you. And as difficult as all of these things

982
00:43:53,960 --> 00:43:58,160
Speaker 3: are to say, I want us to be friends and

983
00:43:58,280 --> 00:44:01,120
Speaker 3: raise these kids together and cane you on the relationship

984
00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:03,359
Speaker 3: that I think we've already built for the however many

985
00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:06,920
Speaker 3: years we've been together, that's what you have. Now you're

986
00:44:06,920 --> 00:44:08,640
Speaker 3: going to be living separately, which isn't going to be

987
00:44:08,640 --> 00:44:10,960
Speaker 3: that big of a difference. You're not going to be

988
00:44:11,040 --> 00:44:16,160
Speaker 3: a couple anymore. And like I think that with the

989
00:44:16,239 --> 00:44:19,320
Speaker 3: right therapists, like you do three or four of those sessions,

990
00:44:19,360 --> 00:44:22,279
Speaker 3: it's kind of like exiting a relationship, you know, if

991
00:44:22,320 --> 00:44:25,280
Speaker 3: you think of it like that and make your intention clearer.

992
00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:27,960
Speaker 3: I want you to be in a better headspace about this.

993
00:44:28,080 --> 00:44:29,680
Speaker 3: I think we should go to a therapist. And when

994
00:44:29,719 --> 00:44:31,880
Speaker 3: you sit down with a therapist, they're going to say,

995
00:44:32,120 --> 00:44:34,040
Speaker 3: are you here to save the relationship or are you

996
00:44:34,040 --> 00:44:36,560
Speaker 3: here to leave the relationship? You know what I mean?

997
00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:39,120
Speaker 3: And you have to be honest because being lying to

998
00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:41,320
Speaker 3: someone to save their feelings is not helping them.

999
00:44:41,600 --> 00:44:43,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I think that's really good, but.

1000
00:44:43,280 --> 00:44:45,680
Speaker 3: You know what I mean, it's hurtful. It doesn't feel good,

1001
00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:48,359
Speaker 3: but it's like it's important to let that person move

1002
00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:50,520
Speaker 3: on and start to heal from their pain. They have

1003
00:44:50,600 --> 00:44:54,080
Speaker 3: to understand that it's a real situation. And you know,

1004
00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:55,799
Speaker 3: and if you have to, you know, I wouldn't say

1005
00:44:55,840 --> 00:44:58,799
Speaker 3: you've had zillions of affairs, that's not necessary, but you

1006
00:44:58,840 --> 00:45:01,800
Speaker 3: can say, yeah, I've actually had to meet have my

1007
00:45:01,920 --> 00:45:04,919
Speaker 3: needs met elsewhere. Like I'm not I didn't get married

1008
00:45:04,960 --> 00:45:07,680
Speaker 3: to kiss someone on the lips. I'm so sorry, but

1009
00:45:07,719 --> 00:45:09,600
Speaker 3: like that's not enough for me, and I wish it were.

1010
00:45:09,640 --> 00:45:11,600
Speaker 3: I tried. I tried, I tried, and it's not.

1011
00:45:12,239 --> 00:45:15,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I think, like, yeah, you got to work

1012
00:45:15,040 --> 00:45:17,480
Speaker 4: real hard to forgive yourself even though if you don't

1013
00:45:17,480 --> 00:45:20,160
Speaker 4: tell him about the infidelities, like, you don't need forgiveness

1014
00:45:20,200 --> 00:45:22,240
Speaker 4: from him, you just need to forgive yourself.

1015
00:45:22,600 --> 00:45:26,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, do you think he really doesn't want to be

1016
00:45:26,400 --> 00:45:29,080
Speaker 2: a sexual person or do you think that there's you know,

1017
00:45:29,480 --> 00:45:30,080
Speaker 2: a hang up.

1018
00:45:30,360 --> 00:45:34,200
Speaker 5: I mean I've looked into like asexuality and maybe thought

1019
00:45:34,280 --> 00:45:37,480
Speaker 5: that's where he was. I mean, he's been with women before,

1020
00:45:37,600 --> 00:45:39,160
Speaker 5: and then he had been with a couple of guys

1021
00:45:39,160 --> 00:45:41,000
Speaker 5: before he met me. He came out really late in

1022
00:45:41,040 --> 00:45:43,239
Speaker 5: life where I came out when I was thirteen. So

1023
00:45:43,960 --> 00:45:47,120
Speaker 5: the weird thing is I've never I've never questioned a

1024
00:45:47,160 --> 00:45:50,880
Speaker 5: gay man's sexuality and thought maybe he's straight. So but

1025
00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:52,920
Speaker 5: I've asked that a lot.

1026
00:45:53,440 --> 00:45:55,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, did he enjoy straight sex?

1027
00:45:57,080 --> 00:45:59,279
Speaker 5: As far as I know, it was good for him.

1028
00:45:59,400 --> 00:46:02,560
Speaker 5: I mean we haven't really talked too much about that.

1029
00:46:03,800 --> 00:46:07,719
Speaker 5: But the but with Yeah, with us, it's like, I

1030
00:46:07,719 --> 00:46:09,360
Speaker 5: guess that's the part that's weird to me. It's like

1031
00:46:09,800 --> 00:46:14,200
Speaker 5: the not getting or only getting sex or sexual things

1032
00:46:14,320 --> 00:46:17,560
Speaker 5: whenever he's drinking and drunk, I mean drunk to the

1033
00:46:17,600 --> 00:46:21,560
Speaker 5: point where he passed about, you know, in the middle

1034
00:46:21,719 --> 00:46:25,560
Speaker 5: of trying to do anything sexual with me, or even

1035
00:46:25,600 --> 00:46:27,640
Speaker 5: the kissing is weird and It's like, I don't know.

1036
00:46:27,680 --> 00:46:30,680
Speaker 5: If he's just afraid of doing it and he's that

1037
00:46:30,800 --> 00:46:33,440
Speaker 5: insecure with himself, maybe I don't. I really don't know.

1038
00:46:33,480 --> 00:46:36,879
Speaker 5: I've asked myself all of these questions, but I can't pinpoint,

1039
00:46:37,200 --> 00:46:39,359
Speaker 5: and he won't ever say. The only thing he ever

1040
00:46:39,400 --> 00:46:42,400
Speaker 5: says is I just don't know what to do. And

1041
00:46:42,440 --> 00:46:44,680
Speaker 5: I'm like, well, let's do this and try this. But

1042
00:46:45,080 --> 00:46:47,600
Speaker 5: he will only do this or try this when he's drunk.

1043
00:46:48,080 --> 00:46:49,439
Speaker 2: Was coming out hard for him.

1044
00:46:49,640 --> 00:46:52,560
Speaker 5: That's the even crazier thing. His family is amazing, and

1045
00:46:52,640 --> 00:46:56,720
Speaker 5: they all were like super accepting of him and loving

1046
00:46:56,800 --> 00:46:59,880
Speaker 5: and caring and all the opposite with the hell life happened.

1047
00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:01,960
Speaker 5: So it can be just.

1048
00:47:01,960 --> 00:47:04,319
Speaker 2: As much of a mind fuck as having to fight

1049
00:47:04,360 --> 00:47:07,080
Speaker 2: your way out, I think, because there's I mean, this

1050
00:47:07,160 --> 00:47:09,520
Speaker 2: is like coming out of the closet. There's no easy

1051
00:47:09,520 --> 00:47:11,400
Speaker 2: way to do it, even if it goes well or

1052
00:47:11,400 --> 00:47:15,000
Speaker 2: it goes badly, Like we're doing it every day in

1053
00:47:15,040 --> 00:47:17,240
Speaker 2: this in this society, you come out of the closet

1054
00:47:17,280 --> 00:47:22,080
Speaker 2: every single day, and and you know, like we all

1055
00:47:22,120 --> 00:47:24,440
Speaker 2: have hang ups and when we're gay, and we spend

1056
00:47:24,480 --> 00:47:28,200
Speaker 2: all of this time pretending we are not for however long,

1057
00:47:28,239 --> 00:47:31,320
Speaker 2: whether it's until we're thirteen years old or forty years old,

1058
00:47:31,520 --> 00:47:34,040
Speaker 2: that that is a period of time when you are

1059
00:47:34,520 --> 00:47:39,239
Speaker 2: completely lying to everyone, including yourself, and and so the

1060
00:47:39,520 --> 00:47:41,960
Speaker 2: hang ups are totally natural and not to be ashamed of.

1061
00:47:42,040 --> 00:47:45,439
Speaker 2: And maybe maybe, you know, maybe there's a world where

1062
00:47:45,440 --> 00:47:47,600
Speaker 2: he doesn't like gay sex and he does only like

1063
00:47:47,640 --> 00:47:50,000
Speaker 2: straight sex, but he loves you and he wants to

1064
00:47:50,040 --> 00:47:50,680
Speaker 2: be with you.

1065
00:47:51,360 --> 00:47:54,760
Speaker 3: The other thing is also you know, you're not attracted

1066
00:47:54,760 --> 00:47:56,600
Speaker 3: to him anymore, is what she said in your letter.

1067
00:47:57,120 --> 00:47:59,919
Speaker 3: So it's like, even if he were to like work

1068
00:48:00,120 --> 00:48:02,240
Speaker 3: through this or you guys would go to a sex

1069
00:48:02,480 --> 00:48:05,320
Speaker 3: therapist and they would try and help you, guys, push

1070
00:48:05,360 --> 00:48:09,480
Speaker 3: you along a little bit further sexually or anywhere. Basically

1071
00:48:10,960 --> 00:48:14,120
Speaker 3: you've lost your mojo for it, because otherwise I would say, okay,

1072
00:48:14,160 --> 00:48:16,919
Speaker 3: like exhaust all efforts. But like that kind of ship

1073
00:48:16,960 --> 00:48:20,720
Speaker 3: has sailed, you know, so I would really just focus

1074
00:48:20,760 --> 00:48:23,640
Speaker 3: on the children, of course, and focus on yourself and

1075
00:48:23,680 --> 00:48:27,000
Speaker 3: forgiving yourself and know you're not a bad person at all.

1076
00:48:27,160 --> 00:48:30,520
Speaker 3: People do that's not like the worst thing in the world. Yeah,

1077
00:48:30,560 --> 00:48:32,040
Speaker 3: I just want to give you a lot of love

1078
00:48:32,120 --> 00:48:34,080
Speaker 3: and a big hug, and like you know. Good for

1079
00:48:34,160 --> 00:48:36,799
Speaker 3: you for knowing that you have to choose yourself. Like,

1080
00:48:36,840 --> 00:48:38,880
Speaker 3: if you want to have a nice sex life and

1081
00:48:38,920 --> 00:48:41,520
Speaker 3: a real great relationship with someone, that those things are

1082
00:48:41,600 --> 00:48:44,320
Speaker 3: both possible. You can have a great sex life in

1083
00:48:44,360 --> 00:48:46,840
Speaker 3: a relationship with someone, So there's no reason you shouldn't

1084
00:48:46,840 --> 00:48:48,120
Speaker 3: do that if that's what you desire.

1085
00:48:48,480 --> 00:48:49,239
Speaker 5: Yeah, for sure.

1086
00:48:49,320 --> 00:48:51,799
Speaker 3: Also, the world's going to end like any minute, so

1087
00:48:51,840 --> 00:48:54,040
Speaker 3: you better get out there and have a fucking good time,

1088
00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:58,400
Speaker 3: you know what I mean. Like, enjoy your life, please

1089
00:48:58,520 --> 00:49:05,680
Speaker 3: everyone listen, enjoy your scoocha may enjoy your life.

1090
00:49:06,320 --> 00:49:08,120
Speaker 4: All right, Mitchell, will you check him with us in

1091
00:49:08,160 --> 00:49:09,160
Speaker 4: a couple of months.

1092
00:49:09,560 --> 00:49:11,799
Speaker 5: Absolutely, Thank you so much for the advice. I really

1093
00:49:11,840 --> 00:49:14,799
Speaker 5: appreciate all about and the love, so thank you so much.

1094
00:49:14,880 --> 00:49:19,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, big love to you, Mitchelle Mitchell bye, Oh that

1095
00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:23,640
Speaker 3: was so time mean yeah, and he and also it

1096
00:49:23,719 --> 00:49:25,560
Speaker 3: was so nice that he had taken all these steps

1097
00:49:25,640 --> 00:49:28,319
Speaker 3: and then yes, like so usually Michael, when people call in,

1098
00:49:28,480 --> 00:49:30,840
Speaker 3: it's like I'm in this situation, what do I do?

1099
00:49:30,880 --> 00:49:32,839
Speaker 3: And they haven't taken the steps? And I'm like, oh,

1100
00:49:33,040 --> 00:49:34,319
Speaker 3: you know, well, first you need to get the fuck

1101
00:49:34,360 --> 00:49:34,960
Speaker 3: out of the house.

1102
00:49:35,440 --> 00:49:35,800
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1103
00:49:35,840 --> 00:49:37,839
Speaker 4: Well, and part of that was actually an update because

1104
00:49:37,840 --> 00:49:40,279
Speaker 4: he we had, you know, I'd emailed him and it

1105
00:49:40,360 --> 00:49:42,040
Speaker 4: was that first part and he's like, and now I've

1106
00:49:42,080 --> 00:49:46,080
Speaker 4: moved out, So that part was actually like an update with.

1107
00:49:46,040 --> 00:49:47,799
Speaker 3: All of our callers first.

1108
00:49:49,280 --> 00:49:53,720
Speaker 4: As a preliminary exactly well. Our next caller today is Emily.

1109
00:49:54,239 --> 00:49:57,280
Speaker 4: The subject line of her email is lying about having cancer.

1110
00:49:58,280 --> 00:50:01,400
Speaker 4: Dear Chelsea, my husband's friend has been dating this girl

1111
00:50:01,400 --> 00:50:03,600
Speaker 4: and I really do not like her. I have my

1112
00:50:03,719 --> 00:50:06,799
Speaker 4: reasons for starters. She has lied for years about having

1113
00:50:06,920 --> 00:50:09,640
Speaker 4: various health issues. She claimed to have cancer, but then

1114
00:50:09,719 --> 00:50:13,239
Speaker 4: last year admitted she was quote unquote misdiagnosed, although she

1115
00:50:13,320 --> 00:50:15,840
Speaker 4: only told that to one person and nobody else. But

1116
00:50:15,880 --> 00:50:17,959
Speaker 4: the secret is out because of how much she lies

1117
00:50:18,000 --> 00:50:19,960
Speaker 4: and how much the record needs to be straight about her.

1118
00:50:20,400 --> 00:50:22,960
Speaker 4: The craziest part is her boyfriend, dear friend to my

1119
00:50:23,040 --> 00:50:26,319
Speaker 4: husband and me as well, was recently diagnosed with leukemia

1120
00:50:26,920 --> 00:50:30,640
Speaker 4: and the irony is chilling. She continuously sends snapchats or

1121
00:50:30,640 --> 00:50:33,640
Speaker 4: group chat messages about her health issues while neglecting the

1122
00:50:33,680 --> 00:50:36,840
Speaker 4: fact that she's a liar and also minimizing her boyfriend's issues.

1123
00:50:37,400 --> 00:50:39,600
Speaker 4: In fact, she goes as far as complaining about him

1124
00:50:39,680 --> 00:50:42,200
Speaker 4: needing so much from her, and how he quote better

1125
00:50:42,239 --> 00:50:45,120
Speaker 4: propose after all she has done for him. It's really

1126
00:50:45,120 --> 00:50:46,719
Speaker 4: hard to type out all the reasons she is a

1127
00:50:46,800 --> 00:50:49,400
Speaker 4: terrible person, but I'm hoping I'm giving the gist. She

1128
00:50:49,560 --> 00:50:52,440
Speaker 4: is constantly looking for attention and pity, but quite frankly,

1129
00:50:52,480 --> 00:50:54,640
Speaker 4: I have none to give. I've never liked her for

1130
00:50:54,719 --> 00:50:57,279
Speaker 4: many reasons. Nothing can change that. I'm at a point

1131
00:50:57,320 --> 00:50:59,080
Speaker 4: where I wish I could say something to her about

1132
00:50:59,120 --> 00:51:00,880
Speaker 4: how I simply do not consider her to be a

1133
00:51:00,880 --> 00:51:03,120
Speaker 4: friend in any way. But it's tough given that her

1134
00:51:03,160 --> 00:51:05,799
Speaker 4: boyfriend is our dear friend. Looking for any advice on

1135
00:51:05,920 --> 00:51:08,880
Speaker 4: how or if I should communicate my dislike and distrust

1136
00:51:09,040 --> 00:51:11,759
Speaker 4: and disinterest in being her friend or just continue to

1137
00:51:11,760 --> 00:51:14,240
Speaker 4: be fake. She has burnt bridges and created a circle

1138
00:51:14,280 --> 00:51:16,520
Speaker 4: of mistrust around her. Frankly, I do not wish to

1139
00:51:16,560 --> 00:51:18,719
Speaker 4: surround myself with but it's hard to draw a line

1140
00:51:18,760 --> 00:51:21,160
Speaker 4: in the sand without communicating something for her to get

1141
00:51:21,160 --> 00:51:24,120
Speaker 4: the message across. We'd love to hear your blunt advice. Emily.

1142
00:51:24,719 --> 00:51:26,680
Speaker 3: Hi, Emily, how are you hello?

1143
00:51:27,120 --> 00:51:27,480
Speaker 1: I'm good?

1144
00:51:27,520 --> 00:51:30,200
Speaker 3: How are you hi? Good? This is our guest Michael Uri.

1145
00:51:30,360 --> 00:51:31,840
Speaker 3: He's here today Hi.

1146
00:51:32,239 --> 00:51:32,760
Speaker 2: Hey, Emily.

1147
00:51:33,440 --> 00:51:35,440
Speaker 3: Well, she sounds like a real pain in the ass.

1148
00:51:35,480 --> 00:51:37,200
Speaker 3: I don't like when women act like that. I don't

1149
00:51:37,239 --> 00:51:40,760
Speaker 3: like and anyone acts like that. But it's very very annoying.

1150
00:51:41,040 --> 00:51:43,560
Speaker 3: I I mean, I hear you. I would go, yeah,

1151
00:51:43,600 --> 00:51:45,520
Speaker 3: I would be telling this woman in a second what

1152
00:51:45,560 --> 00:51:47,239
Speaker 3: I thought of her. But for what, Like, what's that

1153
00:51:47,280 --> 00:51:50,080
Speaker 3: can accomplish? You know what I mean? It's almost more

1154
00:51:50,480 --> 00:51:54,280
Speaker 3: important that her boyfriend know about her instead of hit her.

1155
00:51:54,880 --> 00:51:58,520
Speaker 3: She's not going to change because she's got some problems obviously.

1156
00:51:58,760 --> 00:52:01,600
Speaker 1: No, she for sure has like child's and syndrome or something.

1157
00:52:01,840 --> 00:52:04,520
Speaker 6: And that's kind of like what my friends and I

1158
00:52:04,560 --> 00:52:07,400
Speaker 6: are just saying, is like it's not even about her anymore.

1159
00:52:07,400 --> 00:52:10,239
Speaker 6: It's more about like her boyfriend, who is actually our

1160
00:52:10,280 --> 00:52:14,280
Speaker 6: friend and who we care about deeply. So I've I've,

1161
00:52:14,400 --> 00:52:16,560
Speaker 6: you know, even before kind of chatting with you guys,

1162
00:52:16,560 --> 00:52:19,520
Speaker 6: I've been chatting with my sister in law about maybe

1163
00:52:19,560 --> 00:52:24,080
Speaker 6: just addressing things with him and just talking to him

1164
00:52:24,080 --> 00:52:26,279
Speaker 6: and being like, you know, I'm worried about you, care

1165
00:52:26,320 --> 00:52:29,319
Speaker 6: about you, and kind of just pushing I want to say,

1166
00:52:29,320 --> 00:52:31,879
Speaker 6: pushing her off to the wayside, but essentially doing that

1167
00:52:31,960 --> 00:52:35,640
Speaker 6: because quite Frankly, I don't really care about her, and

1168
00:52:35,880 --> 00:52:38,480
Speaker 6: I don't know exactly you care about playing myself to her?

1169
00:52:38,800 --> 00:52:41,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I get like, like, is he on these

1170
00:52:41,360 --> 00:52:42,920
Speaker 3: group chats that she's sending.

1171
00:52:44,160 --> 00:52:46,440
Speaker 1: No, not at all. It's just two girls.

1172
00:52:46,520 --> 00:52:49,239
Speaker 6: It's not to any of the boys that we're friends with,

1173
00:52:49,280 --> 00:52:50,960
Speaker 6: significant others or anybody.

1174
00:52:51,600 --> 00:52:54,360
Speaker 1: So I'm not even sure, Like how in the know

1175
00:52:54,520 --> 00:52:57,040
Speaker 1: he is about a lot of the thing she says

1176
00:52:57,040 --> 00:52:57,520
Speaker 1: and does?

1177
00:52:58,080 --> 00:53:01,200
Speaker 3: And how does your boyfriend feel about this object with

1178
00:53:01,280 --> 00:53:03,439
Speaker 3: the two of you as a couple likes talking to him?

1179
00:53:03,880 --> 00:53:04,719
Speaker 3: Is he open to that?

1180
00:53:05,920 --> 00:53:09,960
Speaker 6: He is so non confrontational, and it would come down

1181
00:53:10,040 --> 00:53:12,560
Speaker 6: to meet being the bad guy, which which I have

1182
00:53:13,280 --> 00:53:16,920
Speaker 6: a like I'm totally fine at this point like taking

1183
00:53:16,960 --> 00:53:20,799
Speaker 6: that on because I don't really care what she thinks

1184
00:53:20,840 --> 00:53:23,200
Speaker 6: of me. But at the same time, like he's very

1185
00:53:23,239 --> 00:53:27,000
Speaker 6: isolated already because of like taking care of himself and

1186
00:53:27,040 --> 00:53:29,640
Speaker 6: then in turn kind of taking care of her right

1187
00:53:29,680 --> 00:53:32,200
Speaker 6: now because whatever is happening with her.

1188
00:53:32,520 --> 00:53:34,000
Speaker 1: And then just not going out.

1189
00:53:34,600 --> 00:53:36,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, I would have a straight up conversation with him,

1190
00:53:36,680 --> 00:53:38,279
Speaker 3: and do it without your boyfriend, because he's not going

1191
00:53:38,360 --> 00:53:39,759
Speaker 3: to be helpful anyone who does.

1192
00:53:39,800 --> 00:53:40,680
Speaker 1: He's not going to be helpful.

1193
00:53:40,760 --> 00:53:42,200
Speaker 3: Now, I think you should go straight to him and

1194
00:53:42,200 --> 00:53:43,880
Speaker 3: be like, I need to have a real conversation with you,

1195
00:53:43,920 --> 00:53:46,319
Speaker 3: and be as direct as possible and show him some

1196
00:53:46,360 --> 00:53:48,400
Speaker 3: of the snapschats. Just be like, I don't care if

1197
00:53:48,440 --> 00:53:51,239
Speaker 3: this woman likes me or not, Like I'm invested in you.

1198
00:53:51,239 --> 00:53:53,120
Speaker 3: You can tell her I did this. I told you,

1199
00:53:53,200 --> 00:53:55,719
Speaker 3: I don't really care. Like, make it so that it's

1200
00:53:55,800 --> 00:53:57,480
Speaker 3: you can bring her in here and I'll tell her

1201
00:53:57,520 --> 00:53:59,960
Speaker 3: to her face, you know, like your attitude is great

1202
00:54:00,280 --> 00:54:02,799
Speaker 3: because it is you are caring for your friend, and

1203
00:54:02,840 --> 00:54:05,239
Speaker 3: now that he's dealing with leukemia, the last thing he

1204
00:54:05,280 --> 00:54:07,520
Speaker 3: should be dealing with is some woman who's like trying

1205
00:54:07,560 --> 00:54:10,960
Speaker 3: to get him to propose to her. That's gross, Yeah, and.

1206
00:54:11,120 --> 00:54:13,680
Speaker 6: Just the near fact that she's not even like encouraging

1207
00:54:13,719 --> 00:54:16,120
Speaker 6: a better lifestyle like either way.

1208
00:54:16,160 --> 00:54:18,120
Speaker 3: There's also a show that just came out with Caitlyn

1209
00:54:18,160 --> 00:54:21,480
Speaker 3: Denever or that one about the girl in Australia who

1210
00:54:21,520 --> 00:54:24,480
Speaker 3: faked you. Oh yeah, howber she faked all of her illnesses.

1211
00:54:25,400 --> 00:54:26,920
Speaker 4: It was just like a wellness guru. Ya.

1212
00:54:27,040 --> 00:54:29,120
Speaker 3: She was a wellness guru and she pretended she had

1213
00:54:29,120 --> 00:54:32,040
Speaker 3: all these diseases. It was just a huge show on Netflix.

1214
00:54:32,239 --> 00:54:35,440
Speaker 3: Fucking make him watch that. Go you have to watch

1215
00:54:35,480 --> 00:54:38,839
Speaker 3: this with your girlfriend. Make him watch that show. It's

1216
00:54:38,960 --> 00:54:41,319
Speaker 3: really good and it's based on a true story. There

1217
00:54:41,360 --> 00:54:43,560
Speaker 3: was a real woman in Australia who did this and

1218
00:54:43,600 --> 00:54:46,319
Speaker 3: she faked all these diseases and then she got found out.

1219
00:54:46,440 --> 00:54:48,480
Speaker 3: And yeah, that would that should be the first thing

1220
00:54:48,480 --> 00:54:49,520
Speaker 3: that you so at.

1221
00:54:49,600 --> 00:54:52,160
Speaker 4: The woman's name is Belle Gibson and the show is

1222
00:54:52,160 --> 00:54:53,400
Speaker 4: Apple Cider Vinegar.

1223
00:54:53,160 --> 00:54:54,040
Speaker 3: Applesider Vinegar.

1224
00:54:54,280 --> 00:54:58,120
Speaker 1: Yes, funny enough. One of my best friends watched it,

1225
00:54:58,200 --> 00:55:00,879
Speaker 1: and we've made the comparison the situation, right.

1226
00:55:01,040 --> 00:55:04,239
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, so maybe tell them that they have to

1227
00:55:04,320 --> 00:55:06,680
Speaker 3: watch that. Go oh my god, you guys, we just

1228
00:55:06,680 --> 00:55:09,000
Speaker 3: saw the best show. Have them watch that and then

1229
00:55:09,080 --> 00:55:10,279
Speaker 3: go in for your conversation.

1230
00:55:10,400 --> 00:55:12,359
Speaker 1: No, I mean, I think that's a good starting point

1231
00:55:12,400 --> 00:55:12,799
Speaker 1: for sure.

1232
00:55:13,239 --> 00:55:16,120
Speaker 4: This also brings up another question when someone who you

1233
00:55:16,200 --> 00:55:19,239
Speaker 4: love has like a shitty partner and you want to

1234
00:55:19,239 --> 00:55:21,400
Speaker 4: hang out with that person but not the partner, Like,

1235
00:55:21,680 --> 00:55:23,600
Speaker 4: how do you do that? How do you go about

1236
00:55:23,640 --> 00:55:25,840
Speaker 4: being like, we don't want you to bring her to

1237
00:55:25,880 --> 00:55:27,040
Speaker 4: the barbecue or whatever.

1238
00:55:27,200 --> 00:55:28,799
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean you run the risk of them like

1239
00:55:29,120 --> 00:55:31,919
Speaker 3: him canceling you out as a friend, but like, I'm sorry,

1240
00:55:32,000 --> 00:55:35,600
Speaker 3: I feel like being morally like you know, upfront is

1241
00:55:36,200 --> 00:55:39,680
Speaker 3: more important than worrying about the repercussions of the truth,

1242
00:55:40,160 --> 00:55:42,000
Speaker 3: you know what I mean? Like, oh, I and I

1243
00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:43,880
Speaker 3: think you do too, and so like I like that

1244
00:55:43,920 --> 00:55:46,040
Speaker 3: you have this attitude that you're not that you want

1245
00:55:46,040 --> 00:55:48,240
Speaker 3: to say something. I think you should say something. It takes.

1246
00:55:48,360 --> 00:55:50,880
Speaker 3: It's so much easier to sit back and do nothing

1247
00:55:50,920 --> 00:55:53,359
Speaker 3: and watch your friend just deal with this one. That's

1248
00:55:53,360 --> 00:55:55,520
Speaker 3: the easier way to do it, and to talk behind

1249
00:55:55,520 --> 00:55:58,720
Speaker 3: their backs. A real friend goes and tells her friend, like, listen,

1250
00:55:58,760 --> 00:56:00,640
Speaker 3: this is what's happening. This is what we all think.

1251
00:56:00,880 --> 00:56:04,200
Speaker 3: It's gross. I hate seeing you treated like this. These

1252
00:56:04,200 --> 00:56:07,680
Speaker 3: text messages and these snapshats are gross. She's faking illnesses,

1253
00:56:07,800 --> 00:56:09,839
Speaker 3: Like you need to wake up. You're sick and you

1254
00:56:09,840 --> 00:56:12,279
Speaker 3: need people around you who love you and care about you.

1255
00:56:12,800 --> 00:56:14,600
Speaker 3: And you know what else are you doing it for?

1256
00:56:14,719 --> 00:56:17,960
Speaker 3: You already have a husband. It's like you're hitting her.

1257
00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:20,279
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, I'm like, I'm thirty four years old. I

1258
00:56:20,280 --> 00:56:21,720
Speaker 1: don't need more friends.

1259
00:56:21,719 --> 00:56:24,200
Speaker 6: If I lose one, it's at doing it out of

1260
00:56:24,239 --> 00:56:26,719
Speaker 6: the goodness of my heart to just kind of wake

1261
00:56:26,760 --> 00:56:28,080
Speaker 6: them up, give them a little shake.

1262
00:56:28,400 --> 00:56:28,800
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1263
00:56:28,840 --> 00:56:31,160
Speaker 1: And I'm at the point like I don't care.

1264
00:56:31,760 --> 00:56:33,560
Speaker 3: Yeah right, okay, good, okay, good.

1265
00:56:33,680 --> 00:56:37,680
Speaker 6: I worry about my my boyfriend, caring about the divide

1266
00:56:37,719 --> 00:56:40,600
Speaker 6: that might make, But I think I would go into

1267
00:56:40,640 --> 00:56:43,480
Speaker 6: it with well intentions that It's like if if you

1268
00:56:43,560 --> 00:56:46,200
Speaker 6: want to cut him out, that's your prerogative, but you

1269
00:56:46,280 --> 00:56:48,520
Speaker 6: should you should dislike me for what I'm saying.

1270
00:56:48,760 --> 00:56:49,960
Speaker 1: This has nothing to do with him.

1271
00:56:50,239 --> 00:56:53,239
Speaker 3: Yeah. Absolutely, add that to the list of things. But

1272
00:56:53,360 --> 00:56:56,080
Speaker 3: I support you one hundred percent, and please follow up

1273
00:56:56,080 --> 00:56:58,319
Speaker 3: with us. Let us know how it goes, that conversation goes.

1274
00:56:58,920 --> 00:57:00,799
Speaker 1: Yes, I absolutely will. Thank you so much.

1275
00:57:01,040 --> 00:57:05,919
Speaker 3: Good luckey than stamp of approval EMLA. Okay, bye, bye, Okay,

1276
00:57:05,920 --> 00:57:07,200
Speaker 3: We're going to be right back and we're going to

1277
00:57:07,239 --> 00:57:13,560
Speaker 3: wrap up with Michael Ury. And we're back to wrap

1278
00:57:13,640 --> 00:57:15,840
Speaker 3: up with Michael Ury. Michael, how did you enjoy it

1279
00:57:15,880 --> 00:57:16,880
Speaker 3: your therapy sessions?

1280
00:57:17,240 --> 00:57:19,760
Speaker 2: It was good. You have really good advice. Oh and

1281
00:57:20,120 --> 00:57:22,160
Speaker 2: it's so fast. How do you come up with that

1282
00:57:22,200 --> 00:57:22,880
Speaker 2: so quickly?

1283
00:57:24,320 --> 00:57:26,760
Speaker 4: I'm very much She doesn't look at these beforehand like

1284
00:57:26,840 --> 00:57:27,560
Speaker 4: this is all off, Like.

1285
00:57:28,360 --> 00:57:31,280
Speaker 2: It's really it's really good. You've you've you've you've really

1286
00:57:31,320 --> 00:57:33,920
Speaker 2: figured out how to like zero in on the problem

1287
00:57:34,120 --> 00:57:39,520
Speaker 2: and you're brave. I'm so I'm not confrontational and I'm

1288
00:57:39,560 --> 00:57:42,400
Speaker 2: afraid of lying, and so I'm a little bit of

1289
00:57:42,440 --> 00:57:43,160
Speaker 2: a noodle like that.

1290
00:57:43,200 --> 00:57:46,520
Speaker 3: But honesty doesn't have to be a confrontation. It can

1291
00:57:46,600 --> 00:57:48,560
Speaker 3: be like, you know, I have to tell you something.

1292
00:57:48,920 --> 00:57:51,160
Speaker 3: You know, this is what's happening. I just saw this happen.

1293
00:57:51,240 --> 00:57:53,040
Speaker 3: You didn't see it. It's about you. I want you

1294
00:57:53,080 --> 00:57:56,560
Speaker 3: to know. That's a friend. That's not a confrontation. You know,

1295
00:57:56,720 --> 00:57:58,480
Speaker 3: going to that girl and going you're a liar, You're

1296
00:57:59,080 --> 00:58:01,600
Speaker 3: that's a confrontation. And it's also unnecessary because she's not

1297
00:58:01,640 --> 00:58:03,960
Speaker 3: going to change. You know, she's got big problems if

1298
00:58:03,960 --> 00:58:08,120
Speaker 3: she's lying about having cancer. But anyway, listen, we solved

1299
00:58:08,120 --> 00:58:11,320
Speaker 3: the world's problem. Today things things are looking up. Okay.

1300
00:58:11,400 --> 00:58:13,680
Speaker 3: We needed a bright spot in our day. I definitely

1301
00:58:13,680 --> 00:58:15,160
Speaker 3: needed a bright spot in my day. This was it.

1302
00:58:15,280 --> 00:58:16,960
Speaker 3: This is going to be when I write my three

1303
00:58:17,000 --> 00:58:19,880
Speaker 3: favorite things about my Gratitude Journal tonight, I'm going to say, well,

1304
00:58:19,920 --> 00:58:22,000
Speaker 3: this is one of my highlights. Having Michael Yuri on

1305
00:58:22,040 --> 00:58:24,880
Speaker 3: the podcast, we had great callers. Catherine today. I mean

1306
00:58:25,200 --> 00:58:29,160
Speaker 3: great advice and good, good, healthy, good vibes. Yes, so,

1307
00:58:29,640 --> 00:58:31,800
Speaker 3: and I just am very delighted to have you. You're

1308
00:58:31,800 --> 00:58:32,760
Speaker 3: a delightful person.

1309
00:58:33,120 --> 00:58:35,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you. I'm such a huge fan. I love

1310
00:58:35,560 --> 00:58:38,240
Speaker 2: this show and I love you, and I was really

1311
00:58:38,320 --> 00:58:39,760
Speaker 2: delighted the ass. Thank you.

1312
00:58:39,840 --> 00:58:42,400
Speaker 3: Oh yay, yay. Well, I hope I bump into you

1313
00:58:42,480 --> 00:58:44,200
Speaker 3: a person at some point and we can have a

1314
00:58:44,840 --> 00:58:46,840
Speaker 3: we can have a nice stiff drink together.

1315
00:58:47,200 --> 00:58:49,800
Speaker 2: Yes, let's go joint.

1316
00:58:49,960 --> 00:58:53,600
Speaker 3: I love a joint. We'll have a joint together. Yes. Okay, Michael,

1317
00:58:53,680 --> 00:58:57,320
Speaker 3: have a great day. Thanks for coming on so much, guy. Okay, Well,

1318
00:58:57,320 --> 00:58:59,440
Speaker 3: that's the end of our episode. And reminding people, we

1319
00:58:59,520 --> 00:59:01,880
Speaker 3: got a lot of feedback on our Yaminica episode. People

1320
00:59:01,880 --> 00:59:05,560
Speaker 3: were loving Yaminika. Dominica is opening for me in Vegas

1321
00:59:05,600 --> 00:59:07,160
Speaker 3: on August thirtieth, So if you want to see the

1322
00:59:07,160 --> 00:59:10,080
Speaker 3: two of us in action, we'll be there. Okay, Well,

1323
00:59:10,160 --> 00:59:13,440
Speaker 3: we'll see you next Thursday. Hi bye. Okay.

1324
00:59:13,520 --> 00:59:16,280
Speaker 7: My remaining dates for Vegas, there are remaining dates for

1325
00:59:16,360 --> 00:59:22,400
Speaker 7: this year. Summertime is coming and I will be in

1326
00:59:22,480 --> 00:59:27,240
Speaker 7: Vegas at the Cosmo doing my residency on August thirtieth,

1327
00:59:27,560 --> 00:59:31,720
Speaker 7: and then November one and twenty ninth. November first and

1328
00:59:31,800 --> 00:59:35,280
Speaker 7: November twenty ninth, I will be in Las Vegas at

1329
00:59:35,320 --> 00:59:38,560
Speaker 7: the Cosmo performing Inside Myself at the Chelsea.

1330
00:59:38,760 --> 00:59:41,560
Speaker 3: It's called Chelsea at the Chelsea for a reason. Okay,

1331
00:59:42,120 --> 00:59:42,480
Speaker 3: thank you.

1332
00:59:43,440 --> 00:59:46,040
Speaker 4: Do you want advice from Chelsea? Right into Dear Chelsea

1333
00:59:46,080 --> 00:59:49,680
Speaker 4: Podcast at gmail dot com. Find full video episodes of

1334
00:59:49,720 --> 00:59:52,840
Speaker 4: Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching at Dear Chelsea Pod.

1335
00:59:53,400 --> 00:59:57,280
Speaker 4: Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert executive

1336
00:59:57,280 --> 00:59:59,959
Speaker 4: producer Catherine law And be sure to check out armag

1337
01:00:00,120 --> 01:00:06,880
Speaker 4: at Chelseahandler dot com