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Speaker 1: Hello, My Loves, welcome back to give them La La

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Speaker 1: podcast bonus episode.

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Speaker 2: I don't think I have a lot to say on

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Speaker 2: this one. What do you mean?

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Speaker 1: Yes? You do?

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Speaker 2: You have?

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Speaker 1: So you guys, Today's bonus episode on on the on

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Speaker 1: the High that I'm on after interviewing Rudy Reyes and

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Speaker 1: Billy Billingham.

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Speaker 3: Billingham Billingham, Billy Billingham, he kind.

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Speaker 1: Of said it like Billingham, but then I want to

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Speaker 1: go by Lauren Bumingham.

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Speaker 2: We just need to be from well, I.

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Speaker 1: Think our family, uh it has some uksh stuff happening.

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Speaker 1: But Billy and Rudy were on the podcast regular episode

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Speaker 1: last week from Special Forces, and I just I had

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Speaker 1: I thought about their background and they come from the military,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, I wonder because they're both parents, how

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Speaker 1: that background translates into the home life with when the

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Speaker 1: kids act up?

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Speaker 3: What do we do?

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Speaker 1: And Billy without even skippy, but he's like to strict

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Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, that's so interesting, like tell

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Speaker 1: me some stories and he was so funny. If you

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Speaker 1: guys haven't listened to that episode, go back listen to

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Speaker 1: Wednesday's episode with Billy and Rudy because I die but

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Speaker 1: it got me thinking, like, there's this huge conversation about

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Speaker 1: like gentle parenting, that's the new thing you look at

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Speaker 1: certain tiktoks. Is that still a thing? By the way, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: the TikTok.

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Speaker 2: It was only for like twelve hours.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I know because everyone was up in arms about it,

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Speaker 1: which totally fine.

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Speaker 2: I get it because a lot of people that's where

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Speaker 2: I learn everything, right.

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Speaker 1: I came from a place of like, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 1: people who have worked years to you know, gain a

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Speaker 1: following and really conquered the art of their their content

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Speaker 1: and their brand. Not have being that anymore takes away

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Speaker 1: from how they pay their bills and that was heartbreaking.

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Speaker 1: But I didn't consume any content from TikTok, like literally nothing.

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Speaker 1: I got it with all the the old bags three

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Speaker 1: weeks later on reels.

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Speaker 2: Oh the reels are just not it.

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Speaker 1: And I would comment a repost and people would be

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Speaker 1: like this was like last month. I'm like, well, still good,

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Speaker 1: why is it on my page now? Oh? My for

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Speaker 1: you pages but also lives under a rock.

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Speaker 3: Yeah no, but I am glad TikTok is back, just

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Speaker 3: for everybody with like TikTok shops and that we're making livings.

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Speaker 2: Of course, that's the one thing that I was like, damn.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I So I'm happy for everybody that the TikTok

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Speaker 1: is back in talking. But a lot of people go

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Speaker 1: to TikTok to consume this, Like, I don't know if

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Speaker 1: it's a new way of parenting or if it's just

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Speaker 1: kind of in my realm of things now because I'm

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Speaker 1: a parent. But gentle parenting is a huge thing now

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Speaker 1: and people go back and forth on it. They're like, no, oh,

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Speaker 1: gentle parenting is fucking bs. It's how you get hustled

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Speaker 1: by your kid. You got to practice consequences. And I'm

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Speaker 1: sitting here feeling like I'm being torn back and forth

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Speaker 1: because we've spoken about it on the podcast a lot.

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Speaker 1: What type of parent your child needs? Like you really

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Speaker 1: have to kind of gauge, Okay, my child requires this

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Speaker 1: set of parenting tools, and I really don't think it's

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Speaker 1: a one size fits all no. So I asked my friends,

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Speaker 1: how are you guys parenting? I want the details? Uh

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Speaker 1: so for you Easton to say that this doesn't apply

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Speaker 1: to you, you.

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Speaker 3: Have to No, I disciplined, but if it gets too bad,

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Speaker 3: I just goa where are you this kid is fucking

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Speaker 3: me up. But no, usually she like I said, she's

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Speaker 3: an old soul. This is not her first time on

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Speaker 3: this planet.

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Speaker 2: She listens like with.

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Speaker 1: This, she's got wise eyes.

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Speaker 2: She's got wise eyes.

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Speaker 3: But even when she like when I discipline her, because

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Speaker 3: my disciplining is give me my phone back, or it's

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Speaker 3: don't stick your tongue out, let's go sit down, or

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Speaker 3: I'll say why did you do that, and then she'll

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Speaker 3: just say I'm sorry, And then I just say, so,

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Speaker 3: let's just practice on not doing that and not saying sorry.

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Speaker 1: Right, I'm a.

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Speaker 2: Gentle parent because it's not mine.

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Speaker 1: So I feel, well, obviously no one's laying a hand

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Speaker 1: on any of the kids. Well right, no, but like yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'll like, you mean, get like putting the foot down, putting.

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Speaker 3: The foot down, saying come here, sit in this chair.

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Speaker 3: You're in time out for a minute.

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Speaker 2: I don't like what you did.

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Speaker 1: You know, I've taken out the word time out because

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Speaker 1: she doesn't respond well to time out. So I feel

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Speaker 1: like I don't want to say that I'm a gentle

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Speaker 1: parent or strict. I don't even want to say that

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Speaker 1: I practice a combination because my parenting and actually Ocean

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Speaker 1: really likes. This is when she does something I actually

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Speaker 1: do role reversal. So I say to her, watch mom,

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Speaker 1: and then we'll she'll be talking. I say, pretend like

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Speaker 1: your mom and you're in a conversation right now, for example,

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Speaker 1: we're trying to learn to not be like mom, mom, mom,

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Speaker 1: when we're when an adult is talking, yes, we say

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Speaker 1: excuse me, and then we work off of that. Right,

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Speaker 1: So I say, you start talking, So she'll pretend like

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Speaker 1: she's in a conversation. I'll say mom, and I'll tap

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Speaker 1: on her and she'll say what She'll ask me you

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Speaker 1: didn't say excuse me, or she'll tell me. So then

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Speaker 1: we'll re enact and I'll say excuse me, and she'll say,

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Speaker 1: hold on, I'm talking. She goes back to what she

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Speaker 1: was doing, and then she turns to me, what did

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Speaker 1: you need? So the role reversal is actually working pretty well.

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Speaker 3: She's like, because she's been nothing but an angel.

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Speaker 2: Right.

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Speaker 1: But they go through phases. There's a lot of people

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Speaker 1: on here that are like, I had it conquered and

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Speaker 1: then puberty hit.

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Speaker 2: Oh god, I don't even want to think that far ahead.

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Speaker 1: You and me both, I can't even go there. It

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Speaker 1: gives no. At least I don't have boys, I don't

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Speaker 1: need to worry about not keeping socks in their room.

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Speaker 2: It was hard harden socks.

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Speaker 1: And at least I don't do the laundry. I don't

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Speaker 1: have to think about it. I know, but I don't

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Speaker 1: have boys, so I don't have to worry about it

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Speaker 1: right now.

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Speaker 3: She just cleaning skid marks from your kid, Easton.

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Speaker 1: Don't out her like that.

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Speaker 2: I have to.

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Speaker 3: She's an angel leaving skid marks where she goes well.

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Speaker 1: Between the haircut and.

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Speaker 2: The skin marks, she is flood.

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Speaker 1: You guys. Ocean cut her hair better than I cut

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Speaker 1: her hair, by the way, with nail scissors, my kid.

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Speaker 1: I feel so horrible, But she thinks she looks popping,

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Speaker 1: and that's all that matters.

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Speaker 2: It really is.

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Speaker 3: She comes out and she thinks she looks like she does,

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Speaker 3: look like a million bucks.

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Speaker 1: If you didn't see my Instagram story a couple of

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Speaker 1: weeks ago, I accidentally gave her bowl cut banks I

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Speaker 1: parted the hair, I took him a little too far

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Speaker 1: over and just swiped him clean.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you should have given her a little help, like

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Speaker 2: around the eyebrow.

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Speaker 1: It's called framing of the face. But I'm not a hairstylist.

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Speaker 2: Mm hm, So I don't know about it.

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Speaker 1: But you know, no one has confidence like Ocean Kent.

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Speaker 1: You can't tell that girl nothing. She is all about

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Speaker 1: I look pretty in her mind. Her hair is down

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Speaker 1: to her ass.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, and she's.

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Speaker 1: Got a constant Beyonce fan moment going is in her mind.

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Speaker 1: What's happening?

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Speaker 2: And I love it every time she does it. Blow

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Speaker 2: that fan on me.

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Speaker 1: And she's really into this thing, you guys. She goes

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Speaker 1: like this. I'm like, where did you learn this? What

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Speaker 1: are you watching on YouTube? Kids?

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Speaker 3: Maybe I e I maybe did it to her once

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Speaker 3: or twice.

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Speaker 2: Because I'll go hey and then I'll leave, and then

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Speaker 2: I'll walk outside.

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Speaker 3: I go ow hey, and then I leave. And I

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Speaker 3: think that's where she got it from.

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Speaker 1: That's exactly where she got it from. Okay, So this

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Speaker 1: person wrote gentle parenting is nice, but these kids will

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Speaker 1: play you sometimes gotta be tough. I agree you guys

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Speaker 1: the gentle parenting. Have you seen the TikTok? Actually, I

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Speaker 1: have consumed something on TikTok and I think you showed me.

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Speaker 1: It's parents that are like on the floor and they're like, listen,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna talk through this, We're gonna do this, and

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Speaker 1: then the kid like hits them again. They're like, Sammy,

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Speaker 1: we're not gonna hit What are you feeling right now?

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Speaker 1: He does it again. Finally the parents like.

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Speaker 2: What the fuck fuck in your fucking room?

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Speaker 1: And the kids like this and finally stops hitting.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: No, sometimes you gotta you gotta strike fear at them.

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Speaker 1: I fully agree. I still subscribe to instill fear because

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Speaker 1: it is it is simply survival for parents.

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Speaker 2: No, yeah, take the little wins as you can. You

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Speaker 2: know what.

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Speaker 1: I actually, when I was talking to Billy and Rudy,

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Speaker 1: it was like one of very few times in this

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Speaker 1: thing that I've you know, been doing called parenting where

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Speaker 1: I've thought, wow, I And it's not that I didn't

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Speaker 1: factor this in, but I factored it before my human

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Speaker 1: was human, right it, Sosa was just a thought. And

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Speaker 1: we won't even go there with the Father of Ocean.

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Speaker 1: Let's just stick to Sosa. I'm like, there's gonna be

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Speaker 1: a time where she comes into her own and I'm

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Speaker 1: the sole disciplinarian or Gigi, but I'm the parent. I'm

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Speaker 1: the only person that they're gonna know as the parent,

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Speaker 1: And sometimes it does help when I think back on childhood,

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Speaker 1: to have your dad step in on mom's behalf and

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Speaker 1: give you the look and the snap of the fingers

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Speaker 1: and the point in the face when you knew, oh shit,

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Speaker 1: no one's plan anymore. Like mom has tapped in the

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Speaker 1: big guns.

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Speaker 3: When mom, like very rarely did we ever get in trouble,

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Speaker 3: But there were times where like Mom would be yelling

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Speaker 3: at me and it was keep yelling out and get

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Speaker 3: over it.

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Speaker 2: I'd go into my room.

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Speaker 3: When Dad would come in and just sit on the bed,

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Speaker 3: didn't say anything, set and like the calmest voice, and.

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Speaker 2: That was terrifying. Yeah, but it was just that.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, I think you will. I think you'll have

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Speaker 3: that being the soul you'll carry.

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Speaker 1: That, you know, that's my hope. I mean, I do

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Speaker 1: know that times with Ocean, when Mom is disciplining her,

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Speaker 1: I will hear her downstairs and I'll start coming and

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Speaker 1: she goes up, you're in trouble, You're your mom's coming,

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Speaker 1: And that's when Ocean kind of straightens up. I was

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Speaker 1: just pretending to be mean. I was acting. I was

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Speaker 1: pretending to be mean.

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Speaker 2: She likes to do that a lot.

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Speaker 1: I was just pretending to hit.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm like, no, or pretending I was just pretending

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Speaker 3: to pour water.

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Speaker 2: Well, no, there's real water in there, so you weren't pretending.

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Speaker 1: You're going to need to learn how to read so

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Speaker 1: I can give you a dictionary what that word means,

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Speaker 1: because you quite literally poured the water. No, I You're right,

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Speaker 1: I will. I think I'll be able as time goes

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Speaker 1: on to really conquer the art of the look and

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Speaker 1: the subtle sit down.

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Speaker 3: I'm how scary to be yelled at by you, and

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Speaker 3: then after five minutes you walk in calmly and then

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Speaker 3: do it again, but in a call manner. They're gonna

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Speaker 3: be like, oh god, I got two versions of this woman.

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Speaker 3: Now I'm scared of both.

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Speaker 1: Oh that just made me feel super powerful. This woman

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Speaker 1: says firm but kind. Okay. So I'm picturing it like this,

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Speaker 1: like if someone if your kid hits you, you're like, Johnny,

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Speaker 1: don't hit me. And then if he does it again,

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Speaker 1: you're being gentle still, but maybe a threat comes in

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Speaker 1: you hit me, I will hit you back, and my.

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Speaker 3: Hit is harder. I say that sometimes. I said that

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Speaker 3: to Ocean because she hit me and I go Ocean,

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Speaker 3: hit me again, and I'll hit you, and I hit

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Speaker 3: way harder than you.

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Speaker 1: You know what, there the amount of people on here

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Speaker 1: that said I threaten a lot.

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Speaker 2: No, that's what it is.

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Speaker 3: Sometimes she does shit, I'll black out and be threatening her.

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Speaker 1: No. Here's the thing, though, I can't threaten Ocean anymore

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Speaker 1: because she knows now that I'm bluffing, because I've never

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Speaker 1: followed through.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we bluffed with hot sauce, Like, yeah, the hot sauce.

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Speaker 1: The hot sauce. She said something to my ex on

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Speaker 1: the phone the other day and he was like, you

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Speaker 1: know what happens if you say that, you get soap

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Speaker 1: in the mouth. She goes that never happens. I was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: she knows, all right, it never happens.

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Speaker 2: Someone's got to be an example between you two, to

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Speaker 2: show you guys mean business.

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Speaker 1: You know what we do now, John is She's past

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Speaker 1: the saying naughty words like now her friends, like one

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Speaker 1: of the mom friends will be like, oh, Elizabeth, by

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Speaker 1: the way, I'm making this name up. Elizabeth said fuck

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Speaker 1: last night, and I'm like that was so a year

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Speaker 1: and a half ago, Like, we're so far past that.

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Speaker 1: But what we used to do was if East cussed.

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Speaker 1: We would show Ocean. We would say, Easton, you are

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Speaker 1: in big trouble. You're getting your mouth washed out with

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Speaker 1: silk or hot sauce. Which do you want? Of course

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Speaker 1: he choose hot sauce and we would put it in

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Speaker 1: his mouth, so she saw first hand like.

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Speaker 3: My uncle yeah and that yeah, and it could.

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Speaker 2: Be me next yeah.

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Speaker 1: But then it turned into just her wanting you to

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Speaker 1: say bad words so she could put hot sauce.

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Speaker 3: In your say fuck, she's smart.

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Speaker 1: I did not say fuck, mom. I never say the

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Speaker 1: fuck word right now.

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Speaker 2: And she's turned into a rat.

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Speaker 1: I'd called her that the other day.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, she's a rat.

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Speaker 3: She we were up in my room and she said

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Speaker 3: that I can't even remember what was going on. And

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Speaker 3: she goes, I'm gonna go tell my mom.

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Speaker 1: I go perfect, go rat, rat, And she goes, I'm

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Speaker 1: not a rat. You're a rat. You're a big, ugly rat.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I think she'd we need to explain to

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Speaker 1: her what that means, the being a rat. And I

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Speaker 1: told her snitches get stitches, babe, you know what that means.

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Speaker 2: No, Wow, fuck around and find out because I hit

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Speaker 2: pretty hard.

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Speaker 1: But no one hits anybody let's be very freaking clear,

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Speaker 1: both meet them at their level and firm inconsequences. I

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Speaker 1: like this, and I do find that getting to eye

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Speaker 1: level with your kid is actually golden. When you're above,

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Speaker 1: they don't nothing, they don't feel anything. It's like you

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Speaker 1: have to get down to eye level with them. Although

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Speaker 1: I did make myself scary the other day for her,

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Speaker 1: I was like, you want to do that again, Get big,

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Speaker 1: compare yourself big.

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Speaker 2: Is that what you do with bears? Get big? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I also taught her to do that with coyotes. I

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Speaker 1: do instill a lot of fear. I should stop, but

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Speaker 1: she was like, there's a coyote out there. They were

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Speaker 1: so sweet. We talked to them, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: just so you know, if we didn't have big dogs,

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Speaker 1: that coyote would literally jump the fence. Oh yeah, and

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Speaker 1: haul the dog away. And I go, and you're also,

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Speaker 1: if we left so so out there, it would eat

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Speaker 1: Sosa juice. Would it eat me? I said, there is

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Speaker 1: a video of a laughter. I said, there is a video.

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Speaker 2: How does she step out of the house.

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Speaker 1: That's why I have to instill fear because there is none. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so I'm balancing her. I'm giving her balance. Okay, if

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Speaker 1: she were a fearful child, I wouldn't have an issue.

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Speaker 1: She's got no fear. I said, a coyote did grab

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Speaker 1: a toddler about your size and try to run away

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Speaker 1: with it? And she goes, oh my gosh. I go,

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Speaker 1: it's no big deal. But when you see a coyote,

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Speaker 1: just know, make yourself big. And so she now knows

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Speaker 1: she was out there and someone was walking their dog

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Speaker 1: without a least she thought it was a coyote. She

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Speaker 1: was making herself.

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Speaker 2: Big just walking.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, very funny.

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Speaker 3: I do like what Billy said though about the parenting.

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Speaker 3: Got you gotta let them be a little.

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Speaker 1: Cheeky, Yes, yeah, like let them be kids. You're gonna know.

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Speaker 1: I there are certain parents who they're very into having

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Speaker 1: a like mad structure already at this age. And sometimes

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Speaker 1: it does get to me where I'm like, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 1: do I need to be like that with Ocean. But

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Speaker 1: then I weigh it out and I'm like, my daughter,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to know when it's time to apply the pressure.

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Speaker 1: When I know, like, okay, we're getting to this age

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Speaker 1: where she's got to have more discipline. Things are going

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Speaker 1: to start mattering and I don't mean like let her

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Speaker 1: walk all over people, That's not what I'm saying. But

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Speaker 1: she's got to live life. She's got to be a kid.

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Speaker 1: We spend more time as adults than we do as kids.

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Speaker 1: So if she, you know, doesn't know how to color

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Speaker 1: inside the lines yet, or she wants to take classes

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Speaker 1: where it's not so hardcore, I'm going to allow her

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Speaker 1: to be a child. Yes, And when she gets a

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Speaker 1: little older and she wants to go doorbell ditching or

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Speaker 1: I guess ring ditching now won't be fun. Do they

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Speaker 1: have a ring camera?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: So for those of you people, I'll just give the

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Speaker 1: mom the heads up and be like, my kid wants

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Speaker 1: to ring ditch, you can you just like not like

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Speaker 1: just answer the door, don't come through on the intercom.

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Speaker 1: It's like rayshe yo, just like let it happen.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, let the feed into the kids, let them be cheeky.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, there's enough room for structure later, right, not tough,

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Speaker 1: not gentle, A good mix, A lot of good mixes.

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Speaker 1: But again, I just don't think it's one size fits

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Speaker 1: all and whether and I know I worded the Instagram

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Speaker 1: posts where it's like, are we gentle parenting? Are we

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Speaker 1: more strict. I got that, but honest to god, I

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Speaker 1: want to have a like a specialist on here where

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Speaker 1: they talk about the tools that can be used because

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Speaker 1: the combination thing, it's like, I got it. Like no

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00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:43,080
Speaker 1: one's either you know, beating their kid or talking to

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Speaker 1: them like this, Like I know that it's not that extreme,

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00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:48,159
Speaker 1: but tools that you're like, wow, I find this to

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Speaker 1: be very effective when parenting.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, but it's just crazy because Ocean.

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Speaker 3: You know, there are times where the gentle works because

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Speaker 3: she's in that mindset, and these other times where I

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Speaker 3: have to be a little more firm because that is

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Speaker 3: now her mindset.

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Speaker 2: So it's just very difficult.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I think that's what I'm getting from everybody

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Speaker 3: saying like gentle parenting.

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Speaker 1: Is going into depending on if they're in a blind rage,

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Speaker 1: having a melt down.

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Speaker 3: There's things where like Ocean will be doing things that

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Speaker 3: like she shouldn't be doing and it's not like I

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Speaker 3: have to be firm.

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Speaker 2: I just have to Ocean, we're not doing that. You

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Speaker 2: want to stop.

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Speaker 3: There's times where she'll be doing something like jumping on

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Speaker 3: the couch and I'll tell her to stop, and she'll

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Speaker 3: keep doing it.

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Speaker 1: And that's why I say, if you keep jumping on

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Speaker 1: the couch, you're gonna fall off, You're gonna hit your head,

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Speaker 1: and you may die more.

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Speaker 2: Fear more, fear this poor fucking kid.

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Speaker 1: You know what I do do when she she doesn't

389
00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:48,880
Speaker 1: have those like blind rage meltdowns anymore, but remember when

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00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:51,360
Speaker 1: she went through that phase. Yes, what I would do

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Speaker 1: is I would go in her room with her and

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Speaker 1: turn off the light and make it dark to take

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Speaker 1: her out of what she was feeling inside.

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Speaker 2: And then her outside no.

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Speaker 1: And letting her know like I'm here, you need to

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Speaker 1: calm down, and then she would get she It almost

397
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Speaker 1: like leveled her out of bed, took her out of

398
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Speaker 1: her own mind to what was what was actually happening. Okay,

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00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:19,960
Speaker 1: I'm now not going in a loop, but I'm by myself.

400
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:22,399
Speaker 1: I can hear my mom's voice and I know that

401
00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:24,359
Speaker 1: it's dark, So what am I gonna do. I'm gonna

402
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:28,040
Speaker 1: look for to hear my mom's voice for comfort instead

403
00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:29,600
Speaker 1: of the loop that she was on.

404
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Speaker 3: And putting them in that black like in a dark

405
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:35,960
Speaker 3: room even takes that visual away, right that like who

406
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:38,479
Speaker 3: knows if they were seeing something that was making them

407
00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:39,240
Speaker 3: act a certainly like.

408
00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:42,480
Speaker 1: Whatever it may be, reset, but that did help her

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00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:44,960
Speaker 1: where it was like, listen to me, we have to

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Speaker 1: calm down. Okay, mom, are we calm Yeah, let's talk

411
00:19:49,359 --> 00:19:51,800
Speaker 1: about it. Turn the light on where it worre. She's

412
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Speaker 1: now in my arms because she's terrified.

413
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:57,800
Speaker 2: Some more frightening.

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Speaker 1: Don't make me feel guilty. Oh my gosh. Combo of

415
00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:04,359
Speaker 1: tough and gentle timeouts and count to three? How do

416
00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:06,679
Speaker 1: you feel about the counting to three? Easton? I know

417
00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:09,040
Speaker 1: you have thoughts on counting to three? Does it work?

418
00:20:09,119 --> 00:20:11,880
Speaker 1: Does it not? With your not children?

419
00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:13,240
Speaker 2: Yeah?

420
00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:14,920
Speaker 1: I love a count to three.

421
00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:17,920
Speaker 3: Depends on her, depends on the moon.

422
00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:19,639
Speaker 2: Yeah, it depends on what day it is for.

423
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:22,159
Speaker 3: But like yeah, sometimes I'll go, hey, come here, and

424
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:25,639
Speaker 3: she won't and I'll go one, two, and right when

425
00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:27,160
Speaker 3: she hears two, she gets to moving.

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Speaker 1: Yeah for real's yeah, no, I think, yeah, she she

427
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:34,240
Speaker 1: knows it's we're about our business now as a scene.

428
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Speaker 1: You know what else I do? I remind her of

429
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Speaker 1: all of the things that she gets to do when

430
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Speaker 1: she's nice.

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Speaker 2: Mm hmm.

432
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Speaker 1: Do you remember when you were nice yesterday?

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Speaker 2: Yes?

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Speaker 1: What did you get to do yesterday? I got to

435
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Speaker 1: go to Candyland and I got a cupcake. And do

436
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Speaker 1: you know why you got to do that? Because I

437
00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:56,280
Speaker 1: was nice? Yes, I want you to have a good

438
00:20:56,359 --> 00:21:00,479
Speaker 1: day today. If you want to act out and you

439
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:03,680
Speaker 1: want to be disrespectful, we don't get to do fun

440
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:05,760
Speaker 1: things because mommy has to teach you to be a

441
00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:10,240
Speaker 1: nice person out in the real world. Yeah, you can't

442
00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:13,880
Speaker 1: be saying go away. Yeah, in the real world, they

443
00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:15,760
Speaker 1: love a good spit out of the tongue, and I

444
00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:18,440
Speaker 1: love how they think they've got you in the go Oh.

445
00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:20,640
Speaker 2: It doesn't hurt. No, it fucking crushes me.

446
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:24,879
Speaker 1: As a single as a single mom, all of the above.

447
00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:27,720
Speaker 1: It just depends on the situations. Exactly what you were saying.

448
00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:30,320
Speaker 1: I see that woman though, yeah.

449
00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:32,359
Speaker 2: And I hope that she's in a good situation right.

450
00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:35,240
Speaker 1: Now because there's no tapp in. You're like discipline and

451
00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:38,280
Speaker 1: you're like, wow, I could really use a drink, But

452
00:21:38,320 --> 00:21:40,280
Speaker 1: since I can't have a drink, I need to tap

453
00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:42,239
Speaker 1: into an AA meeting. But I also can't do that

454
00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:43,240
Speaker 1: because who am I gonna.

455
00:21:43,119 --> 00:21:44,120
Speaker 2: Leave you with? Fuck.

456
00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:50,040
Speaker 1: I have never I have never related more to a

457
00:21:50,119 --> 00:21:53,679
Speaker 1: commercial than the mom who locked herself in the bathroom,

458
00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:56,680
Speaker 1: sat on the floor against the tub and ate a

459
00:21:56,720 --> 00:22:01,400
Speaker 1: whole bag of milano. I was like when I used

460
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:03,480
Speaker 1: to watch that, I was like, I don't get it

461
00:22:04,080 --> 00:22:06,399
Speaker 1: now that I'm a mom. The amount of times that

462
00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:08,879
Speaker 1: I lock my door and sit on the floor in

463
00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:10,600
Speaker 1: the bathroom, it's a lot.

464
00:22:11,119 --> 00:22:11,399
Speaker 2: It's up.

465
00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:11,960
Speaker 1: Many times.

466
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:14,400
Speaker 3: I'll go to the bathroom, close the whole thing and

467
00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:16,959
Speaker 3: just sit on top of the toilet and just breathe

468
00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:19,640
Speaker 3: and just say thank God.

469
00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:23,400
Speaker 1: I will pretend like I have chronic diarrhea just.

470
00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:26,040
Speaker 3: To get five fucking the one thing.

471
00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:27,560
Speaker 1: Should that be a trigger warning?

472
00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:28,520
Speaker 2: I don't know.

473
00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:34,440
Speaker 3: There was a comedian and I never got it until now,

474
00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:38,399
Speaker 3: and he was like, you know that that slow walk

475
00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:40,080
Speaker 3: around your car to your.

476
00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:42,040
Speaker 1: Door after you buckle them.

477
00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:45,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, He's like, I never thought that I would live

478
00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:48,480
Speaker 3: for those quiet moment walks to my own door and

479
00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:50,840
Speaker 3: he goes, right when you open it and shut it,

480
00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:52,720
Speaker 3: you're just back in hell.

481
00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:54,440
Speaker 2: And he goes. And I got a three year old

482
00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:57,639
Speaker 2: and they're talking all the time. I know, and so

483
00:22:57,840 --> 00:22:58,240
Speaker 2: is Ocean.

484
00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:01,520
Speaker 1: I know my mom's you're not listening to her. I'm like, what,

485
00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:03,920
Speaker 1: I completely zoned out. And she's like, she asked you

486
00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:06,119
Speaker 1: a question. I was like, and I've answered it fifteen.

487
00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:08,199
Speaker 2: She's asked me fifty five in the last two minutes.

488
00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:11,680
Speaker 3: I'm doing well here, right, listen to it.

489
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:15,200
Speaker 1: They may need both tough at first, then circle back

490
00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:18,960
Speaker 1: around with love. Love that my son is almost three

491
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:22,760
Speaker 1: and starting to push to test his boundaries, so needing

492
00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:27,320
Speaker 1: to be a bit tougher. I so know just that

493
00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:28,720
Speaker 1: feeling that's three.

494
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:30,920
Speaker 2: I feel like that is the age where you have to.

495
00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:35,840
Speaker 3: Dismiss the gentle parenting a little bit more because that's

496
00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:38,040
Speaker 3: see how much starting to get structure.

497
00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:41,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, and I remember a year and a half

498
00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:44,240
Speaker 1: was like the sweet spot with Ocean. She was like

499
00:23:45,119 --> 00:23:50,400
Speaker 1: so sweet and cute. Once we hit like two two

500
00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:53,320
Speaker 1: and a half, it was like, Okay, the boundaries are

501
00:23:53,359 --> 00:23:57,960
Speaker 1: being tested. Terrible twos is a real thing. Then you

502
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:00,480
Speaker 1: realize you get into the age of three. No one

503
00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:02,680
Speaker 1: warned you that they call it. I think it's a

504
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:08,480
Speaker 1: threeteen threeteen instead of like thirteen threeteen where they start

505
00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:09,720
Speaker 1: getting like a little.

506
00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:14,200
Speaker 3: Bit moody and they're getting a personality bitchy. Their personality

507
00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:14,960
Speaker 3: is coming through and.

508
00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:16,760
Speaker 2: You're like, I don't fucking like it.

509
00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:21,480
Speaker 1: Testing the boundaries so godspeed, May God be with you

510
00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:25,240
Speaker 1: a blend. The key is communication, accountability when you get

511
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:28,960
Speaker 1: it wrong, because we aren't perfect either. The amount of

512
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:32,600
Speaker 1: times that I've laid in bed and sobbed my eyes

513
00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:37,200
Speaker 1: out because I'm like, I really got it wrong today.

514
00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:43,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, you didn't. Your kid is upright sleeping, she'll

515
00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:46,600
Speaker 3: wake up tomorrow. You won the day. Yes, are there

516
00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:49,399
Speaker 3: things that you could do different? Yeah, there are, But

517
00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:54,320
Speaker 3: like they said, Billy.

518
00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:55,919
Speaker 2: It's all you have is time, Oh my god, and.

519
00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:58,159
Speaker 3: Whatever happened is in the past, and now all you

520
00:24:58,200 --> 00:24:59,280
Speaker 3: can do is move forward.

521
00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:00,560
Speaker 2: And you better you.

522
00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:03,680
Speaker 1: Can't cry about it right the way that resonated with

523
00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:06,760
Speaker 1: me because you know how I feel about time, all

524
00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:09,200
Speaker 1: of you do, because I obsess over it in every episode.

525
00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:12,679
Speaker 1: And Amazon Live and you don't like time, do you?

526
00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:16,359
Speaker 1: It freaks me out. I get sad, buy the McDonald

527
00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:18,440
Speaker 1: if they act good, and rent a movie or two,

528
00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:20,360
Speaker 1: and buy snacks. That's what my mom.

529
00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:23,640
Speaker 3: Did, love it, love it well, that's how we got

530
00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:24,880
Speaker 3: Ocean on Amazon Live.

531
00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:27,359
Speaker 1: What did we offer her a cookie or something?

532
00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:30,400
Speaker 3: She was like, I don't want to, mom, Gigi goes,

533
00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:34,040
Speaker 3: I'll give you a chocolate or a cookie. If you go, oh okay,

534
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:37,080
Speaker 3: cry off the couch and right into us, just for

535
00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:37,919
Speaker 3: that cookie.

536
00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:38,600
Speaker 2: I know.

537
00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:41,040
Speaker 1: I wanted them to see her bangs in real life.

538
00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:42,360
Speaker 1: Oh she wore a headband.

539
00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:44,399
Speaker 3: Yeah, and she went in for thirty seconds because she

540
00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:45,320
Speaker 3: was like, all right, I saw him.

541
00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:46,480
Speaker 2: Where's my fucking cookie?

542
00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:49,000
Speaker 1: She was like, Hi, got off the chair.

543
00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:50,680
Speaker 2: Cookie. Yep.

544
00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:55,040
Speaker 1: And mom stays true to her word as a preschool teacher.

545
00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:57,879
Speaker 1: I just tell my son and my students it's time

546
00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:01,120
Speaker 1: to reset. I love that word. And then they sit

547
00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:04,080
Speaker 1: in a quiet area with a calming caddy as long

548
00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:05,480
Speaker 1: as they don't throw it.

549
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:07,159
Speaker 2: What's a caddy?

550
00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:09,399
Speaker 1: I don't know what a calming caddy is, but it

551
00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:13,239
Speaker 1: sounds like something they hold. Oh me, yeah, maybe like

552
00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:16,880
Speaker 1: a like a stuffy or just something that represents calmness

553
00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:20,240
Speaker 1: in the class. Why do I adore this so much?

554
00:26:21,160 --> 00:26:25,719
Speaker 2: Freaking genius picturing the kids across the room. What do

555
00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:25,959
Speaker 2: you do?

556
00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:28,480
Speaker 1: Then? I'd love for you to write back in Yeah,

557
00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:29,080
Speaker 1: if the kid.

558
00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:31,919
Speaker 3: Throws it, what's plan B principle?

559
00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:35,160
Speaker 2: That's what the plan B is on to somebody else.

560
00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:38,000
Speaker 1: I was tough when mine was little, and now she's

561
00:26:38,040 --> 00:26:41,240
Speaker 1: twelve and wouldn't dare lie to me. She cares for

562
00:26:41,359 --> 00:26:44,359
Speaker 1: people and hardly acts out of line. And she just

563
00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:46,960
Speaker 1: hit puberty, So that's saying a lot. I so feel

564
00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:47,880
Speaker 1: for that.

565
00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:49,000
Speaker 2: That is. I remember.

566
00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:53,960
Speaker 1: I remember when I hit puberty. We all do, I'm sure,

567
00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:56,800
Speaker 1: but I just felt so lost.

568
00:26:57,640 --> 00:26:59,560
Speaker 2: Well, you feel like you were just stripped of everything

569
00:26:59,560 --> 00:26:59,880
Speaker 2: you were.

570
00:27:00,280 --> 00:27:02,440
Speaker 1: I know I felt like I wasn't innocent anymore, and

571
00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:03,120
Speaker 1: I hated that.

572
00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:04,760
Speaker 2: I know I feel that.

573
00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:07,880
Speaker 1: Do you remember when Mom took you? Well I only

574
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:10,280
Speaker 1: remember because she's told us this story. But when Mom

575
00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:12,080
Speaker 1: took you through the line, it was like seven eleven

576
00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:14,280
Speaker 1: and they had those like muscle magazines, and there was

577
00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:16,159
Speaker 1: a woman on it and she and she had on

578
00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:18,159
Speaker 1: like that little string bikini and you looked at it,

579
00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:21,199
Speaker 1: Mom and you I love her still. She said, you

580
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:22,399
Speaker 1: were a tiny little tot.

581
00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:24,440
Speaker 2: Oh just my blonde curly hair.

582
00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:28,720
Speaker 1: Oh, you were so cute, love her. Aw, you looked

583
00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:33,320
Speaker 1: a lot like Sosa. Sometimes when I am feeding Sosa

584
00:27:33,359 --> 00:27:36,760
Speaker 1: a bottle, and it's it's like just the way that

585
00:27:36,840 --> 00:27:41,720
Speaker 1: it shapes her nose and her eyes, and like maybe

586
00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:43,800
Speaker 1: the bottle is cutting off at a certain point to

587
00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:46,680
Speaker 1: make it seem look more like you. It's just from

588
00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:49,200
Speaker 1: here up. But I'm like, you are.

589
00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:53,040
Speaker 3: T t because when I would feed her, I would

590
00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:55,960
Speaker 3: be feeding Gigi. I was like, there's just no way

591
00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:59,080
Speaker 3: that this isn't Gigi, and now she's transforming into me.

592
00:28:00,119 --> 00:28:00,280
Speaker 2: Yeah.

593
00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:02,280
Speaker 1: But a lot of people when you when I have

594
00:28:02,359 --> 00:28:06,200
Speaker 1: no makeup on you and I look identical and I look,

595
00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:08,840
Speaker 1: people say you look just like your mom. So when

596
00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:11,880
Speaker 1: people say so so looks identical to Gigi, then I'm like, oh,

597
00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:14,880
Speaker 1: that means that she looks like me, and that makes

598
00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:18,680
Speaker 1: me happy. What everybody wants their kindling, well they do.

599
00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:20,120
Speaker 2: I loved when.

600
00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:24,840
Speaker 3: When Ocean was like, I only want my mama, and

601
00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:25,720
Speaker 3: you were like, I know.

602
00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:29,640
Speaker 1: Everybody hates that, but I love hearing that's really annoying,

603
00:28:29,720 --> 00:28:33,560
Speaker 1: but I love hearing that so much. You guys, that

604
00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:36,439
Speaker 1: was a fun episode. Why did I laugh so much today?

605
00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:40,240
Speaker 1: It's been a really great day. I love you guys.

606
00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:42,480
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening to another episode. Up

607
00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:45,400
Speaker 1: the Phone Is Podcast. By the way, you can catch

608
00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:47,920
Speaker 1: the YouTube video up today as well, and we will

609
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:51,560
Speaker 1: catch you on Wednesday for a regular old episode by