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Speaker 1: Happy Friday, Chip, A Hey, TG motherfucking if is it going.

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Speaker 2: To be another beautiful weekend here in Nashville, Tennessee.

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Speaker 1: I don't even know. My world has been so crazy

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Speaker 1: this week that checking the weather has not been top

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Speaker 1: of my agenda.

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Speaker 3: I mean, like, I love this time of year because

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Speaker 3: it's like you for coming out of winter, you forget that,

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Speaker 3: like you're gonna have nice weather at some point, you know,

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Speaker 3: and then you start waking up and it's nice every day,

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Speaker 3: and you're like, there's no way this is going to continue.

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Speaker 1: I wish that the listeners could see you talking about

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Speaker 1: weather right now. You're like, he has the biggest smile,

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Speaker 1: he's using his hand, he's very animated, very you seem happy,

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Speaker 1: joyous and free. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I mean because it's like now we can go drink

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Speaker 2: on patios and stuff.

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Speaker 3: You know, there's nothing better than ye and Wave Country opens,

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Speaker 3: you know.

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Speaker 1: Oh God, can you tell the listeners about if you

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Speaker 1: are new to this podcast and you have not heard

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Speaker 1: Chip talk about Wave Country, you obviously haven't listened in summer,

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Speaker 1: but it's about to be summer, so I feel like

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Speaker 1: you should give them some backstory because I'm sure we

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Speaker 1: will be hearing about it.

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Speaker 3: Yes, So Wave Country is I don't even know when

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Speaker 3: it opened, like probably early eighties or something.

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Speaker 1: And so it's basically my age.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like older than Kelly Cool and it is

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Speaker 3: owned by the city and it's just a big wavepool

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Speaker 3: that's got a it's got four slides, five slides. One

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Speaker 3: of them is for children and you know if you

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Speaker 3: like swimming with band aids.

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Speaker 1: Like, so this is where you and I could not

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Speaker 1: be more different because Chip loves a water park, like

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Speaker 1: living his last life. He will go by himself. He's

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Speaker 1: the creepy guy in the wavepool by himself, right I am.

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Speaker 3: I I will just like lay on a float. And

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Speaker 3: you know they're often playing like Jack FM, and I

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Speaker 3: think that's a good enough.

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Speaker 2: Like every every city as Jack FM.

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Speaker 1: Now Jay does what kind of music?

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Speaker 3: Because it was like the best the best hits of

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Speaker 3: today and yesterday.

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Speaker 2: Like it's just like kind of the best.

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Speaker 3: It's like, you know, like there's classic hits, but then

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Speaker 3: there's modern stuff too. There's songs that everyone knows, you know,

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Speaker 3: like any big karaoke.

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Speaker 1: Song is played on Did you want to give us

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Speaker 1: an example?

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Speaker 3: You know, like don't stop believing you know stop, yeah,

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Speaker 3: or like sweet child of mine.

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Speaker 1: But then it will be like background music.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so I will go there about myself and sit

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Speaker 3: on a float and just stare up at the sun

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Speaker 3: and sing.

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Speaker 2: Out loud to jack at them.

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Speaker 3: And I know everyone in the pool, including the lifeguards

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Speaker 3: who are sixteen and seventeen years old, right or like,

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Speaker 3: who is this crazy person?

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Speaker 1: Do you feel? Do you feel like in case of

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Speaker 1: an emergency, a sixteen or seventeen year old child essentially

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Speaker 1: could save you?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 1: At wave Country, I just want to detect so cool.

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Speaker 2: I mean they do have those like little floating torpedo things.

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Speaker 1: I don't know about those because I myself do not

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Speaker 1: go to water parks because I hate them.

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Speaker 3: Well, you know they use them at like on bay Watch,

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Speaker 3: you know that thing like oh yeah, that's.

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Speaker 1: All I can picture of Pamela Anderson running down the

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Speaker 1: beach in a re bikini carrying one of those yeah

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Speaker 1: oh yeah. But they don't have her rescuing you from

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Speaker 1: a wave pool.

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Speaker 2: I mean that'd be different. I would purposely drown.

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Speaker 1: Even the gay men love Pamela, who doesn't. I just

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Speaker 1: have this thing about sitting in water, and I know

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Speaker 1: there's chlorine. It don't come at me about this, but

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Speaker 1: there's something about the wavepool that I find so disturbing.

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Speaker 1: First of all, you know, every single person in there

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Speaker 1: is peeing, and I think probably doing other bathroom things

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Speaker 1: in there. Second of all, like you mentioned the band aids,

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Speaker 1: Like why are there always just floating band aids at

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Speaker 1: water parks. It's just so it just feels so unsanitary

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Speaker 1: to me, and I can't get over it. And I'm

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Speaker 1: not even like OCD or germophobe or anything like that normally,

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Speaker 1: but that situation, it's something about sitting in water, like

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Speaker 1: I don't know, it just really grosses me out.

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Speaker 3: I think the reason why band aids are there is

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Speaker 3: because they fall off in the water.

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Speaker 1: That's why they're popped into the waves.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, to be clear, these are not band aids that

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Speaker 3: are still in their packaging. There's yeah, so they slid

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Speaker 3: off a tower a finger, but a wound though, no

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Speaker 3: you don't. But they get pushed to the shallow end

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Speaker 3: because of the waves and I'm in the deep end.

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Speaker 3: And also there's so much chlorine. It's like I went

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Speaker 3: there during COVID. I thought it was safer to go

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Speaker 3: to the wavepool than it was to go to the

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Speaker 3: grocery store, and I never I didn't.

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Speaker 1: Get ca, you're outside, so yeah, swimming in bleach. Maybe

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Speaker 1: you're onto something. Maybe that was what saved you. Because

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Speaker 1: I've had COVID a lot of time.

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Speaker 2: Well I ended up having it, but never during the summer.

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Speaker 1: I'm about to rock your world with this transition. So

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Speaker 1: so anyway, so anyway, But what I was going to

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Speaker 1: say is the only time I feel like I can't

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Speaker 1: get in touch with Chip during the summer is if

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Speaker 1: he is at Wave Country. And so if Chip is

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Speaker 1: not responding to my text, I immediately know where he is. Like,

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Speaker 1: that is the one place that Chip does not get

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Speaker 1: back to you on a text.

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Speaker 2: Now I can't have my phone in the water.

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Speaker 1: Was that not good?

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Speaker 2: That's good?

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Speaker 1: So today I know blind sided you. So today I

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Speaker 1: really wanted to discuss not returning text and Chip and

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Speaker 1: I have kind of been going back and forth about

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Speaker 1: just all the reasons that this might happen. And it's

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Speaker 1: so interesting when you really think about our culture, Texting

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Speaker 1: is the number one form of communication at this point.

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Speaker 1: I feel in twenty twenty four, I personally feel like

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Speaker 1: I get more texts than phone calls even more than

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Speaker 1: like emails. Like I told you before this, I get

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Speaker 1: booked on jobs via text a lot of times now,

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Speaker 1: like people check my availability via text. I mean it's

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Speaker 1: not all the time, but I would say that it's

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Speaker 1: become our number one format for texting. And because of

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Speaker 1: that and communicating sorry, yeah, And because of that, it

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Speaker 1: almost feels like we're it to the place now where

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Speaker 1: maybe we need to talk about a little bit of

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Speaker 1: etiquette here and like what's appropriate, what is fair? Maybe

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Speaker 1: what are we missing and how are we going wrong

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Speaker 1: with it? And so I brought it to.

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Speaker 3: Go ahead, and I was just going to say, and

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Speaker 3: how do we put the lid back on Pandora's box?

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Speaker 3: You know, Like I feel like it's because it's just

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Speaker 3: going to keep getting worse, Like I think that email

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Speaker 3: is going to become the thing of the past.

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Speaker 1: Well it's kind of interesting because I like, I don't yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't know that it can or will or whatever

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Speaker 1: that'll look like, but I do. I did find myself

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Speaker 1: this week, like I said, I've been really busy and

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Speaker 1: kind of like running back to back to back to

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Speaker 1: back to back, and I'll get to the end of

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Speaker 1: the day and realize I have not opened my email,

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Speaker 1: and then it's like you open your email, there's a

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Speaker 1: whole other world, and there's a whole nother world.

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Speaker 3: You're like, oh wow, Well, it's like we now live

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Speaker 3: in a world where like a twenty five megabyte photo

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Speaker 3: is too big to send an email, but you can

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Speaker 3: text it and it comes through clearly. So I think that,

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Speaker 3: like it's weird. So I think that we're going to

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Speaker 3: start to see less email. I mean, I feel like

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Speaker 3: I'm it's I end up texting a lot more for

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Speaker 3: work stuff than email, and email is like a second

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Speaker 3: class citizen to me right now, and which is scary

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Speaker 3: because I prefer it and for work.

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Speaker 1: Of course, because you know why, it's the lack of urgency.

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Speaker 1: There's like a little more people don't know when you

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Speaker 1: read it. They don't know that it's like right there

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Speaker 1: in your like if you have to consciously go check

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Speaker 1: an email where a text is just flying into your phone.

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Speaker 1: And that was the main thing that you brought up

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Speaker 1: about this whole situation, like where we are now with

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Speaker 1: our culture with so much texting is being constantly on

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Speaker 1: call kind of so do you want to talk a

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Speaker 1: little bit about that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, well, I mean, first of all, I would like

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Speaker 3: to do a little bit of a breakdown because there

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Speaker 3: are so many different relationships that we have that we communicate, right,

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Speaker 3: So we have work relationships, we have family relationships, we

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Speaker 3: have romantic relationships, and we have friendships.

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Speaker 2: And the way that I.

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Speaker 3: Communicate or the expectations that I have in those communications

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Speaker 3: are different in all four of those categories. And you know,

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Speaker 3: like I do believe and even though I don't practice it,

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Speaker 3: I think that work life balance is really important and

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Speaker 3: it should be something that should be respected on both sides.

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Speaker 2: I tend to work in a business that does not sleep.

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Speaker 3: You know, so it's yeah, it's really difficult to have

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Speaker 3: that work life balance. And now when texting is part

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Speaker 3: of the conversation, it is really hard to turn it off,

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Speaker 3: you know. Like I know that there are some companies

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Speaker 3: out there that assistance I think at WME or maybe

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Speaker 3: at CAAA.

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Speaker 2: These are two big agencies.

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Speaker 3: One of them they're not allowed to take their computers

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Speaker 3: home and they don't have email on their phone, so

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Speaker 3: when they the office there, they can't work, which.

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Speaker 1: Is a nice, walking luxury.

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Speaker 3: Fucking brilliant, you know, like and I went. You know,

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Speaker 3: I worked as late as my boss did, so I

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Speaker 3: couldn't leave until she left. And my first job as

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Speaker 3: an assistant, and so it trained me to just constantly

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Speaker 3: because she and she was single and had no kids,

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Speaker 3: so she worked really hard and you know, work was

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Speaker 3: her life. And so I started my career with no

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Speaker 3: work life balance.

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Speaker 2: So I've never been able to really get it back.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, until I moved to Nashville, and we got a

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Speaker 3: little bit better because in New York and LA, people

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Speaker 3: tend to marry and have kids older, where if people

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Speaker 3: start families younger in the South, and so there is

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Speaker 3: a little bit more of respect for the family life.

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Speaker 3: So that's been a nice little introduction. Anyway, I'm digressing,

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Speaker 3: but I you know, so for work stuff, I prefer

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Speaker 3: it to be email, so that there is a paper

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Speaker 3: thread and it's like you can kind of see back

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Speaker 3: and forth, and you can pull people in if you

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Speaker 3: need certain things answered, and it's a big conversation happening together.

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Speaker 3: And it's not just all these side texts that are

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Speaker 3: hard to search and hard, hard to save and hard

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Speaker 3: to reference. But I feel like now everything, everyone treats

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Speaker 3: everything with such urgency that it's a text, and I'm like,

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Speaker 3: I often like, I'm the same as you. At the

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Speaker 3: end of the day, I look at my email and

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Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, now I've got to deal with this shit.

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Speaker 1: Well, so that's work. But what were you gonna mention about?

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Speaker 1: What's your variation between work relationship?

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Speaker 3: You know, obviously it's when you're in a relationship like

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Speaker 3: that person has expectations that they're supposed to feel like

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Speaker 3: the most important person in your life.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so, and you.

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Speaker 3: Know, also you probably should they should feel like the

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Speaker 3: most important person in your life. So it's you want

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Speaker 3: to constantly be chatting with them. So it's like that,

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Speaker 3: I prefer to be over text because then it's like

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Speaker 3: in constant communication. In fact, in my last relationship, it

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Speaker 3: was months before I had his email address.

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Speaker 2: It was all just text and phone calls. Like I

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Speaker 2: didn't have any reason.

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Speaker 1: You really don't need it unless you're like booking a.

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Speaker 2: Flight, booking a flight.

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Speaker 3: Then you know my mom, it's she doesn't text, so

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Speaker 3: I have to call her. And I prefer to talk

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Speaker 3: to my family on the phone because there it's a

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Speaker 3: different kind of conversation unless it's just me and my

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Speaker 3: sister like bullshitting about stuff. So it and then I

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Speaker 3: guess friends is sort of all over the place, like

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Speaker 3: it's usually like group text with friends, just like making

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Speaker 3: plans and stuff.

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Speaker 2: It's it's very rare.

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Speaker 3: I do have a couple of friends that like to

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Speaker 3: have really long text conversations and then I'm just like, can.

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Speaker 2: We just fucking talk for a minute. Yeah, this is

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Speaker 2: driving me crazy.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, although it is really convenient to like text and

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Speaker 3: watch TV at the same time, you can kind of

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Speaker 3: do that.

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Speaker 1: That's why I do it, is because I can be

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Speaker 1: doing other things, right, but I'm with you certain things

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Speaker 1: do you just need to make the call. So what

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Speaker 1: you're saying or what I'm hearing you say, is you're

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Speaker 1: text to not text ratio or how you communicate with people?

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Speaker 1: What is different based on what kind of relationship that

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Speaker 1: you have.

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Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, I I yes, I think there is a

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Speaker 3: strata there and they.

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Speaker 1: Can't use words that the rest of us.

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Speaker 3: Now, well, it's just like there's the rest of it now,

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Speaker 3: I want to say delineation, Like you just think all

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Speaker 3: those relationships are treated a little differently, Like for example,

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Speaker 3: within work, if if you need something from your boss, yeah,

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Speaker 3: and your boss is a texter and your boss isn't

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Speaker 3: responding to your text. Yeah, it can be really stressful,

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Speaker 3: but it's also really irresponsible to be like, well, I

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Speaker 3: texted my boss and you know, like and just move

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Speaker 3: on and like don't get something done in time or whatever,

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Speaker 3: or you run the risk of being forced to make

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Speaker 3: a decision that might be counter to what your boss

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Speaker 3: would have had you do. Sure, but if your boss

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Speaker 3: isn't responding, like what is your recourse? So, I mean,

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Speaker 3: I do think it's you have to like learn people

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Speaker 3: and learn their expectations. Like for me, if I think

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Speaker 3: I've gotten to the point now where if something is

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Speaker 3: really urgent a phone call, like if someone calls me,

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Speaker 3: that means something's important because that's like you cannot they

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Speaker 3: need the answer now. But text feels like it's just

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Speaker 3: one step short of that too, whereas emails like get

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Speaker 3: to it when you get to it, and then if

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Speaker 3: you fucking mail me something, you're lucky if I ever

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Speaker 3: open it.

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Speaker 1: Like carrier pigeon, God, what that was really difficult for me?

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Speaker 2: If you've had a pigeon carrier.

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Speaker 1: I was watching this show The Gentleman on Netflix the

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Speaker 1: other day. It's so good by the way, if you

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Speaker 1: guys need a new bin show, And in one of

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Speaker 1: the scenes, the guy prefers carrier pigeons, and I was dying.

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Speaker 1: I'm just like, oh my god, that is an actual thing.

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Speaker 1: He can send notes that way. I had no idea,

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Speaker 1: But so that's interesting. So the point you're making is

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Speaker 1: it's varied between relationships. And I I was saying to

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Speaker 1: you when I first even brought this topic up. One

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Speaker 1: of my big like pet peeves is when people don't respond,

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Speaker 1: and I know a lot of it is, like I

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Speaker 1: have I feel like it's almost disrespectful for me when

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Speaker 1: someone texts me to not respond. So like, if I'm

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Speaker 1: not responding to you, there's usually a reason. Either I'm

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Speaker 1: super busy or there's always a reason I'm super busy

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Speaker 1: and I have not been able to get to my phone.

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Speaker 1: But like, even when I'm really busy, I'm pretty good

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Speaker 1: about it, and I'm pretty good about it pretty quickly,

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Speaker 1: or i'm driving obviously, or I've already told you the answer.

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Speaker 1: I've told I've set the boundary whatever you want to like,

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Speaker 1: whatever the situation was, and I'm not going to fucking

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Speaker 1: say it again. That's like, so it's an intentional.

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Speaker 2: Note, So it isn't that is like not responding at

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Speaker 2: that point? Is your answer?

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Speaker 1: Is my response?

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Speaker 2: Yes? Correct?

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Speaker 1: But there are people in my life who don't operate

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Speaker 1: that way, and I don't feel obligated to respond to

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Speaker 1: all their texts if they were just like, I'm just

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Speaker 1: in a place where I don't have the energy or whatever,

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Speaker 1: and I just have like a guilty conscience, Like just

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Speaker 1: to me, I'm like, that's just communicating to that person

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Speaker 1: that they're not important to me. And I never want

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Speaker 1: to make anyone feel that way. But I just don't

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Speaker 1: think everyone feels that way. So what is the etiquette there? Like,

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Speaker 1: what is the reality?

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Speaker 3: I honestly, I don't know what it is because I

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Speaker 3: also think that you know, and people do put this

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Speaker 3: word around boundaries are important and we cannot make assumptions

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Speaker 3: about why someone's not responding to us every it's because

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Speaker 3: it's not the same reason every time I saw this.

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Speaker 3: It was funny because Kelly brought up this topic the

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Speaker 3: other day and then I a friend of mine posts

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Speaker 3: like shared this on his story, and I took a

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Speaker 3: screenshot of it. I don't know what the screenshot's from,

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Speaker 3: but It's like someone poses like a question and then

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Speaker 3: and then someone just answers it. It looks like it might

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Speaker 3: have been on Reddit or something. But people who don't

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Speaker 3: who don't reply until days later. It's a relatively very

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Speaker 3: new phenomenon that basically anyone in your life gets access

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Speaker 3: to you all the time. It was only twenty years

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Speaker 3: ago that if you left the house for the day

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Speaker 3: you were actually gone, you'd return messages when you got

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Speaker 3: back hours or even days later, and someone responded the

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Speaker 3: phone is there for my convenience. It is not an

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Speaker 3: electronic leash if it's not convenient for me to talk

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Speaker 3: to you for any reason. And this applies to texting

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Speaker 3: to including I'm just not feeling social right now. I'm

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Speaker 3: not obligated to answer.

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Speaker 2: This is not rude. This is a normal personal boundary.

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Speaker 2: And that just.

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Speaker 3: Made me think, like that's so right. But I too,

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Speaker 3: like harbor guilt when I don't respond. And the worst

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Speaker 3: is when I know I haven't responded and then I

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Speaker 3: run into somebody and I.

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Speaker 2: Was like, oh my god, I go hi, Oh my god,

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Speaker 2: I bet to take you back. Did that not go through?

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Speaker 3: Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: So many relationships where I talk to certain friends so

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Speaker 1: regularly that if I don't respond because I'm such a

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Speaker 1: normal responder, they're like are you okay? Like literally and

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Speaker 1: so like what you just said is interesting to me

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Speaker 1: because I hear what that person is saying, and I

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Speaker 1: don't really know that I understand why you can't just say, hey,

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to be off my phone or something like

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Speaker 1: if it's a person that's important to you for sure specifically,

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Speaker 1: or a person you talk to regularly, I don't think

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Speaker 1: that it's too much to ask to send a text

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Speaker 1: that says, hey, I just need to be off my

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Speaker 1: phone today or hey, I'm busy. I find this to

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Speaker 1: be the biggest issue with like our culture is we

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Speaker 1: don't know how to fucking communicate. Yet we have so

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Speaker 1: much access to all the communication possible, like you're saying,

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Speaker 1: like we're so easily reached at all times now because

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Speaker 1: we have text, email, Instagram, like there's all these things

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Speaker 1: whatever that you can find people and see where they

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Speaker 1: are and all this stuff. Yet basic communication skills like

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Speaker 1: simply saying one sentence to explain something to someone else

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Speaker 1: or just to kind of be like, hey, I get

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Speaker 1: I'll get to this in a mid or whatever it's

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Speaker 1: not that difficult. Yet it seems so complex for so

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Speaker 1: many people to me, and to me when I look

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Speaker 1: at it, because I know so much about the like

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Speaker 1: anxious avoidant dynamic, it just creates this perpetual cycle of

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Speaker 1: fucking with everyone's head. And anyway, like I don't I

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Speaker 1: think it's like a person's responsibility to take care of

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Speaker 1: their own needs. If you're not getting a response and

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Speaker 1: like you're spiraling out, like that's on you. You got

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Speaker 1: to go like figure out what's happening. But I also

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Speaker 1: just think I'm like, would it be so difficult, especially

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Speaker 1: for a romantic relationship, but even a friendship, like just

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Speaker 1: send the fucking text or like when you do get

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Speaker 1: back to it, you know, sorry super big, I've been

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Speaker 1: super busy or whatever whatever it is. I just think,

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Speaker 1: like communication is not that difficult, and so why is

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Speaker 1: it so fucking difficult?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, it's funny.

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Speaker 3: As you were talking, I started thinking about like sometimes

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Speaker 3: I'll send friends like a funny.

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Speaker 2: Song or a video or a meme or whatever, and.

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Speaker 3: Of course it's always nice to get some sort of

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Speaker 3: like haha or a response, but you know, I've got

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Speaker 3: friends that don't. But I know that they're watching them,

398
00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:25,480
Speaker 3: and they just know it's me like thinking of them

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Speaker 3: back in you know, like when I was in high school.

400
00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:29,760
Speaker 3: Like if I was if I thought of you, I

401
00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:33,119
Speaker 3: might like send you a postcard and I didn't expect

402
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Speaker 3: a postcard in return.

403
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Speaker 1: None of my face message is what we do.

404
00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:38,520
Speaker 2: Oh my god. We didn't have computer.

405
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Speaker 1: People or aim, remember Aim, Oh my god, Aim.

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Speaker 2: That was nice even.

407
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Speaker 1: Gearing up for this word forever. Oh wow. Well, right,

408
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Speaker 1: I'm a couple of years old. I found this article

409
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Speaker 1: on Wiki how and it said it was like talking

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Speaker 1: about text anxiety. Like a lot of people have text anxiety.

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Speaker 1: So if you're not if someone's not responding to your text,

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Speaker 1: like I said earlier, it might trigger certain people. But

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Speaker 1: they said, don't worry. They may just be taking time

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00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:10,680
Speaker 1: to process your text. Okay, this is the most basic,

415
00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:13,199
Speaker 1: like no shit Sherlock article ever. But I'm gonna I'm

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00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:16,640
Speaker 1: gonna giving us some points anyway, they're just processing what

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Speaker 1: you said, which is they might be, you know, taking

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Speaker 1: their time to understand and reply like okay, cool, they're

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Speaker 1: experiencing text anxiety. For some people, texting can cause a

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Speaker 1: flood of anxious feelings I've actually experienced this with other

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Speaker 1: people where if they have a lot going on or

422
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Speaker 1: don't know what to say, they just don't say anything.

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Speaker 1: But I'm like, then say, I don't know what to say. Again,

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Speaker 1: it's like back to my communication issues. They're experiencing digital burnout.

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Speaker 1: That is real, and I totally support taking like a

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Speaker 1: step back from your phone. They're struggling with their mental health,

427
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:57,800
Speaker 1: they have condition a condition that impacts focus like ADHD.

428
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Speaker 1: They're avoiding conflict, they're giving you the silent treatment, they're

429
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Speaker 1: ghosting you, They're genuinely busy.

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Speaker 3: I was gonna say, like, please tell me they are busy?

431
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Speaker 3: Is on this list?

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Speaker 1: It is? And that is a vallad excuse I believe. However,

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Speaker 1: did you hear so many of the other ones are

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Speaker 1: completely just about not knowing how to process feelings, deal

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00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:25,359
Speaker 1: with emotions, and communicate properly. So again, it becomes a

436
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Speaker 1: relationship issue if you really think about it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I think the thing that makes it like

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Speaker 3: why we're even having this conversation is because text is

439
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:39,919
Speaker 3: I mean, it is a new form of communication.

440
00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:42,119
Speaker 2: Like yeah, I mean it's not that new, but it is.

441
00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:46,680
Speaker 3: Yeah that it's like this, Yeah, it's like everyone text

442
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:50,439
Speaker 3: now except for my mom and my dad texts and

443
00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:54,959
Speaker 3: he's older than her. But I can remember when I

444
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:58,400
Speaker 3: was at my first job in New York City. It's

445
00:21:58,440 --> 00:22:01,120
Speaker 3: when texting. I was a very early adopted or texting.

446
00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:03,520
Speaker 3: But it was even like cell phones. It was like

447
00:22:03,680 --> 00:22:07,480
Speaker 3: knew that cell phones were widely available and everything had them,

448
00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:11,760
Speaker 3: and I remember thinking like it was a privilege to

449
00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:14,320
Speaker 3: have someone's cell phone number, like all the executives at

450
00:22:14,359 --> 00:22:17,000
Speaker 3: our company, like it was not in their signature. It

451
00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:20,560
Speaker 3: was like their assistance email or phone number, maybe their

452
00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:23,840
Speaker 3: direct work line and their email, and that was how

453
00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:26,840
Speaker 3: you had to communicate with these people because the cell

454
00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:29,680
Speaker 3: phone was sacred. It was like, you know, the bat

455
00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:33,280
Speaker 3: phone to them, and you weren't just running And even

456
00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:35,760
Speaker 3: on business cards. People, we never put our cell phones

457
00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:36,480
Speaker 3: on business cards.

458
00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:39,200
Speaker 1: It was just like emergency only are you're really close to.

459
00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:41,560
Speaker 3: The person, And it was meant it was really meant

460
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:43,720
Speaker 3: to be a work thing, Like it wasn't meant so

461
00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:46,280
Speaker 3: that you could like chat with your friends all day, right,

462
00:22:46,359 --> 00:22:49,159
Speaker 3: And now it's become like it is our lifeline to

463
00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:51,879
Speaker 3: the world, like we do everything with our phones. You know,

464
00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:55,160
Speaker 3: in some countries they only use Apple Pay and Samsung

465
00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:57,359
Speaker 3: or Google Pay or whatever. Like people don't even carry

466
00:22:57,359 --> 00:22:58,200
Speaker 3: wallets anymore.

467
00:22:58,240 --> 00:23:01,680
Speaker 1: You know, remember when the text you had to do

468
00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:03,760
Speaker 1: the numbers and it was like he had hit three,

469
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:06,480
Speaker 1: he had hit one like three times to get to

470
00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:07,359
Speaker 1: see or something.

471
00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:10,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, Nokia.

472
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:13,520
Speaker 3: But then it was like predictive text started coming and

473
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:16,520
Speaker 3: I'm like, shit, I rely on my Yeah.

474
00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:18,560
Speaker 1: But what you said earlier, you were like, we've come

475
00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:20,800
Speaker 1: so far yet is it the right thing? And so

476
00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:23,639
Speaker 1: I brought up the younger generations because I've been experiencing

477
00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:27,080
Speaker 1: frustration with texting with younger generations.

478
00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:28,080
Speaker 2: Yep.

479
00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:31,440
Speaker 3: Well, well I didn't know if I was getting ready

480
00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:36,560
Speaker 3: to interrupt you if you were finishing. I, you know,

481
00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:40,439
Speaker 3: not to defend them, but also to defend them. Like

482
00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:46,200
Speaker 3: every fucking day someone myself included, thinks or says out loud,

483
00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:48,840
Speaker 3: I hate my fucking phone. I wish I could delete

484
00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:50,760
Speaker 3: it all and throw this thing away, or I'm.

485
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:52,119
Speaker 2: Moving to a flip phone or whatever.

486
00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:58,080
Speaker 3: And maybe they're actually wising up and not and this

487
00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:00,880
Speaker 3: is like their reaction to that, and they're taking their

488
00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:04,879
Speaker 3: lives back. Maybe it's actually a good thing. We have

489
00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:08,000
Speaker 3: just become accustomed to that expectation.

490
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:08,439
Speaker 2: You know.

491
00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:12,119
Speaker 3: Look, I think it is never good to be a

492
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:17,480
Speaker 3: poor communicator. Okay, get you know, like you like taking

493
00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:19,639
Speaker 3: your life back. Is not like I get to be

494
00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:22,040
Speaker 3: a poor communicator because I'm taking my life back. You

495
00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:25,119
Speaker 3: can say I'll follow up in the morning, like I'm

496
00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:27,879
Speaker 3: I don't work at night, you know, or whatever. It is, like,

497
00:24:28,119 --> 00:24:30,320
Speaker 3: there is a way to communicate. I'm not texting you

498
00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:32,440
Speaker 3: right now, it's even if it's after out.

499
00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:35,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, that there's like that makes sense to me. But

500
00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:39,879
Speaker 1: let me give an example. Okay, So okay, first of all,

501
00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:43,760
Speaker 1: just in general the younger generations. It's interesting to me

502
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:48,040
Speaker 1: because as much as our culture seems built on urgency

503
00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:51,560
Speaker 1: and accessibility, there is a lack of urgency in the

504
00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:52,760
Speaker 1: younger generations.

505
00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:53,439
Speaker 2: That's true.

506
00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:57,560
Speaker 1: And I'm not I'm not saying this. I don't know,

507
00:24:57,680 --> 00:25:00,840
Speaker 1: like I don't think that we've necessarily created the healthiest culture.

508
00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:03,400
Speaker 1: I agree with that as well. And so you're right,

509
00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:05,719
Speaker 1: there are some things that are ingrained in me because

510
00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:08,680
Speaker 1: like what you said earlier about your earlier work experience,

511
00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:11,480
Speaker 1: that's how I've been taught to work too, and that's

512
00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:13,560
Speaker 1: how you kind of have to work in our business

513
00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:15,840
Speaker 1: if you want it, Like it's one of those jobs.

514
00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:17,960
Speaker 1: It's like if it was easy, everyone would be doing it.

515
00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:20,959
Speaker 1: So who's going to work the hardest and like keep

516
00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:23,720
Speaker 1: you know, the hustle going and whatever, And that's usually

517
00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:28,560
Speaker 1: who succeeds. And so I think I'm shocked sometimes, like

518
00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:31,480
Speaker 1: when I have people working for me, or in this

519
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:34,879
Speaker 1: specific instance, I was trying to hire someone to film

520
00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:38,520
Speaker 1: something for me, and a lot of the video people

521
00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:40,520
Speaker 1: that I know are on the road on the weekends

522
00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:42,760
Speaker 1: and it's on a Friday, so there, you know, they

523
00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:45,240
Speaker 1: were already out town. So I'm getting references from people

524
00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:49,479
Speaker 1: and just all the things. And I was told to

525
00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:51,879
Speaker 1: message this one kid because I was like, is there

526
00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:54,480
Speaker 1: anyone like younger that's just trying to get started, because

527
00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:56,679
Speaker 1: like what I need is pretty straightforward and basic. And

528
00:25:56,720 --> 00:25:59,200
Speaker 1: so I was asking around on set one day and

529
00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:03,480
Speaker 1: I got this guy's he's like probably early twenties, and

530
00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:07,280
Speaker 1: so I texted him, and like it was the middle

531
00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:09,760
Speaker 1: of a work day. I didn't feel the need to

532
00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:12,200
Speaker 1: call him, like because that's how I've learned to communicate

533
00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:14,520
Speaker 1: or whatever. But I didn't hear back from him. So

534
00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:16,720
Speaker 1: I text the guy who gave me the referral, and

535
00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:19,280
Speaker 1: he was like, oh, he does travels. It was like

536
00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:22,119
Speaker 1: a Tuesday though he does travel sometimes work. Let me

537
00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:24,879
Speaker 1: text him and check in, and he like texts the

538
00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:27,760
Speaker 1: guy and the guy writes him back and says, yeah,

539
00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:30,919
Speaker 1: I'm he was doing something, but I don't really know what.

540
00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:33,160
Speaker 1: They didn't tell me, but I didn't get the sense

541
00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:35,679
Speaker 1: that he was like traveling or whatever. He responds to

542
00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:40,720
Speaker 1: me the next day, and I was so turned off

543
00:26:41,119 --> 00:26:44,040
Speaker 1: because it was a work Like it wasn't like I'm

544
00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:47,560
Speaker 1: just texting you whatever, but like I was texting about

545
00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:50,600
Speaker 1: a work opportunity and also like I can't move forward

546
00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:53,040
Speaker 1: or right. It kept me having to like go through

547
00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:54,359
Speaker 1: are you gonna be able to do this? Like I

548
00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:56,879
Speaker 1: have to cover my ass and find someone so like

549
00:26:57,520 --> 00:26:59,200
Speaker 1: and I just don't understand it because when I was

550
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:02,119
Speaker 1: starting my career, I mean I was like working for free.

551
00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:04,520
Speaker 1: I was like, get me on set, I'll be wherever

552
00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:08,520
Speaker 1: I If someone texts me about a job, I'm responding

553
00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:11,520
Speaker 1: right away, like if you have a job opportunity for me,

554
00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:14,320
Speaker 1: I am there in two many Like it's like I

555
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:18,280
Speaker 1: don't understand not having that, Like that's so weird, but

556
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:20,600
Speaker 1: that this is not my first experience with this, That's

557
00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:22,479
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. So then when it came back in

558
00:27:22,680 --> 00:27:26,520
Speaker 1: the next day and was very nonchalant, like I still

559
00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:29,080
Speaker 1: needed somebody actually at that point, but I like went

560
00:27:29,119 --> 00:27:32,840
Speaker 1: out of my way to find someone else who responded

561
00:27:32,880 --> 00:27:37,080
Speaker 1: in a timely manner and had a little more urgency.

562
00:27:37,119 --> 00:27:40,359
Speaker 1: But anyway, I guess my point is just like I

563
00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:42,440
Speaker 1: hear what you're saying, and maybe they are taking their

564
00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:46,760
Speaker 1: life back ish, but I'm also like, where's the line

565
00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:52,760
Speaker 1: between like taking care of responsibility, working hard, building something,

566
00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:56,439
Speaker 1: especially if you're an entrepreneur, and learning how to fucking

567
00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:59,080
Speaker 1: communicate in business Because if you can't fucking respond to

568
00:27:59,119 --> 00:28:01,320
Speaker 1: a text of mine, I'm not hiring you.

569
00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:04,480
Speaker 3: Well, that's the thing, especially when it's like because this

570
00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:07,200
Speaker 3: example is like you were offering someone a job.

571
00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:12,680
Speaker 1: You tried to charge me a lot, and I was like, okay, bye,

572
00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:15,320
Speaker 1: bitch bye.

573
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:19,840
Speaker 2: Yeah You're like, no, we good, Yeah, we good.

574
00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:21,280
Speaker 1: That was just on the cake.

575
00:28:21,359 --> 00:28:23,440
Speaker 2: But yeah, you're like, yeah, it was really about.

576
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:25,480
Speaker 1: The communication, because I'm just like, if you're not a

577
00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:28,359
Speaker 1: met to me, what that said was you're not reliable.

578
00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:31,600
Speaker 1: I don't I don't want to have to be waiting

579
00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:33,520
Speaker 1: on you to be there on time because I don't

580
00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:37,439
Speaker 1: trust you now. And I also I am like, what if

581
00:28:37,440 --> 00:28:40,000
Speaker 1: you got flaky the day of, Like it just produced

582
00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:43,040
Speaker 1: a lot of different feelings than me that I didn't

583
00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:45,960
Speaker 1: know that about that person, and I still don't know

584
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:48,080
Speaker 1: that to be true about that person. But because of

585
00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:52,560
Speaker 1: the lack of urgency or or just communicating, hey, I'm

586
00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:56,280
Speaker 1: on set, can I text you about this tomorrow for details? Right,

587
00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:59,360
Speaker 1: I would have been like, sure.

588
00:28:58,280 --> 00:29:03,400
Speaker 2: Great, and that is that's clear communication? Yeah, thank you.

589
00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:07,920
Speaker 1: Yes. All I'm asking for averagehip is clear communication because

590
00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:10,200
Speaker 1: with men.

591
00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:12,440
Speaker 3: Jobs, it all comes down to that.

592
00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:15,440
Speaker 1: And if you can't do basic communication, you're telling me

593
00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:17,480
Speaker 1: so much about you, that's it.

594
00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:24,360
Speaker 3: Anyway, it might it might be that you're just an

595
00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:26,640
Speaker 3: anxious person, and that's fine because you don't want an

596
00:29:26,680 --> 00:29:27,800
Speaker 3: anxious person, and why.

597
00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:29,720
Speaker 1: Did you also aspire this right now?

598
00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:33,800
Speaker 3: No, I'm not saying I'm saying you might The non

599
00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:36,080
Speaker 3: response might just be that you're an anxious person and

600
00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:37,800
Speaker 3: you're like, I can't deal with two things at once.

601
00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:39,200
Speaker 2: I'm not saying you're the anxious person.

602
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:40,800
Speaker 1: Oh, I thought you were calling me saying a.

603
00:29:40,720 --> 00:29:43,520
Speaker 3: Non response might be because someone's anxious about it, and

604
00:29:43,560 --> 00:29:45,000
Speaker 3: then you're like, I don't want to work with that

605
00:29:45,040 --> 00:29:47,000
Speaker 3: person any like if they're too high strung.

606
00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:51,000
Speaker 1: Like yeah, it's interesting because women are so good at

607
00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:54,360
Speaker 1: doing multiple things at a time, and I think men

608
00:29:54,400 --> 00:29:56,440
Speaker 1: are a little more laser focused on the one thing

609
00:29:56,480 --> 00:29:58,360
Speaker 1: they're doing. And so I feel like this creates a

610
00:29:58,360 --> 00:30:01,640
Speaker 1: really weird dynamic, especially with texting, because I hear so

611
00:30:01,760 --> 00:30:05,520
Speaker 1: many girls being like, well, they're like, well, he's at work,

612
00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:08,640
Speaker 1: but like, so what I'm still like they're texting all

613
00:30:08,680 --> 00:30:11,120
Speaker 1: day every day, you know, and they just get so frustrated,

614
00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:13,200
Speaker 1: and I'm like, okay, well he is at work, like

615
00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:16,320
Speaker 1: there are boundaries, but I hear what they're saying too,

616
00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:19,280
Speaker 1: of like he could say, hey, babe, like I'm at work,

617
00:30:19,320 --> 00:30:21,840
Speaker 1: and when I'm at work, like I can't respond right

618
00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:23,960
Speaker 1: away all the time or whatever.

619
00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:25,960
Speaker 2: It is like or double click of heart heat.

620
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:27,800
Speaker 1: Dude, Yeah, it ain't that hard.

621
00:30:28,640 --> 00:30:32,360
Speaker 2: I'm alive, but my job is stressful, right. Yeah.

622
00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:35,360
Speaker 1: I think that's all so basically all that I'm asking

623
00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:39,840
Speaker 1: for here from this conversation to anyone listening who's feeling

624
00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:42,680
Speaker 1: me at all, or maybe feels the opposite. It's like

625
00:30:43,280 --> 00:30:45,600
Speaker 1: all that I think, I think that this problem could

626
00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:48,320
Speaker 1: be resolved, and I don't think texting is going anywhere,

627
00:30:48,360 --> 00:30:50,040
Speaker 1: so I think that we have to kind of consider

628
00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:52,960
Speaker 1: how to resolve these things. But I just think it's like,

629
00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:56,680
Speaker 1: think about what actually the person is asking of you.

630
00:30:56,960 --> 00:30:59,360
Speaker 1: Like I do think a lot of people get anxious

631
00:30:59,360 --> 00:31:01,280
Speaker 1: and overwhelmed and then they shut down because they're like,

632
00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:03,040
Speaker 1: I didn't know what to say, and it's like, are

633
00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:05,320
Speaker 1: they asking you to solve the problem though? Are they

634
00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:08,680
Speaker 1: just asking like a question? And if you don't know

635
00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:10,360
Speaker 1: what to say, you could say, hey, I don't really

636
00:31:10,440 --> 00:31:12,600
Speaker 1: know what to say to that, or let me think

637
00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:15,880
Speaker 1: about this. Can I get back to you? Buy five

638
00:31:15,880 --> 00:31:18,560
Speaker 1: point thirty on Friday or something? You know, give a time,

639
00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:21,200
Speaker 1: give us specific But it's just like we have to

640
00:31:21,320 --> 00:31:25,320
Speaker 1: learn better basic communications because our culture is not slowing

641
00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:30,000
Speaker 1: down with the mass communication. Like it's almost like we've

642
00:31:30,080 --> 00:31:34,960
Speaker 1: built the technology, but our brains and our like emotional

643
00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:38,360
Speaker 1: intelligence has not grown yet right to match it.

644
00:31:39,120 --> 00:31:42,120
Speaker 3: I also think too, we need to put a little

645
00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:45,560
Speaker 3: onus on the first person who reaches out to Like,

646
00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:52,040
Speaker 3: if something is urgent, you should say that you should

647
00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:55,520
Speaker 3: say urgent all caps, or like hey, sorry to bother you,

648
00:31:55,680 --> 00:31:57,360
Speaker 3: sorry to bother you at night, but I need to

649
00:31:57,360 --> 00:32:00,680
Speaker 3: get this done, or hey, I'm sorry, just like reaching

650
00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:02,880
Speaker 3: out out of the blue like I'm in a pickle

651
00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:05,760
Speaker 3: or whatever it is, so that it says like I

652
00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:08,880
Speaker 3: need a response, like you can't sit around on this,

653
00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:11,320
Speaker 3: or like I know you're at work, I'm dying to

654
00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:15,000
Speaker 3: know this, or yeah, whatever it is. You can't just

655
00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:16,520
Speaker 3: be like, hey, do you want to get dinner tonight

656
00:32:16,680 --> 00:32:19,800
Speaker 3: and expect someone to think that like you urgently need

657
00:32:19,800 --> 00:32:20,280
Speaker 3: that answer.

658
00:32:20,560 --> 00:32:23,120
Speaker 1: But you know what's worse is because texting you can't

659
00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:25,760
Speaker 1: hear tones. The person could be like crying, they're having

660
00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:27,800
Speaker 1: a terrible day and they're like, hey, you want to

661
00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:30,240
Speaker 1: get dinner tonight, and then you don't respond and you're

662
00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:32,240
Speaker 1: but so it's like, okay, so now I know you

663
00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:35,040
Speaker 1: feel you yeah, and then you just internalize it. You

664
00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:37,080
Speaker 1: never you think they hate you whatever it is, and

665
00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:39,360
Speaker 1: it's like, okay, Well, if you had started the text

666
00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:42,120
Speaker 1: of saying, hey, I'm having a really hard day, is

667
00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:44,480
Speaker 1: there a chance that you're available for dinner? I could

668
00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:47,320
Speaker 1: really use a friend or something. But it's like we

669
00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:51,760
Speaker 1: also are so many humans don't want to actually communicate

670
00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:54,560
Speaker 1: the truth about what they're feeling or they're not aware

671
00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:57,360
Speaker 1: of what they're feeling. So it's like again goes back

672
00:32:57,360 --> 00:32:59,760
Speaker 1: to Okay, get in touch with what's actually happening for

673
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:03,640
Speaker 1: you and then just be honest. Like people respond so

674
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:05,960
Speaker 1: much better to that than I think you would think

675
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:08,440
Speaker 1: they do. Like, Yes, that has been something I've learned

676
00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:11,520
Speaker 1: in the last three years and it's genuinely changed my

677
00:33:11,840 --> 00:33:15,760
Speaker 1: entire life to just shoot people straight kindly, but like

678
00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:19,840
Speaker 1: just be straight up, like, hey, I'm super overwhelmed right now,

679
00:33:19,920 --> 00:33:22,200
Speaker 1: Like this is big for me in dating. It's just

680
00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:25,480
Speaker 1: like I'm super overwhelmed right now. I am really interested

681
00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:28,080
Speaker 1: in meeting you. This is just not a good time

682
00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:29,920
Speaker 1: for me or something like. It's just like I'm not

683
00:33:29,960 --> 00:33:32,280
Speaker 1: trying to blow you up. Just say the fucking truth.

684
00:33:32,840 --> 00:33:35,840
Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be so complex and difficult, right.

685
00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:39,040
Speaker 2: You know. I I'm so like.

686
00:33:39,680 --> 00:33:43,160
Speaker 3: Averse to I don't I'm not I don't like conflicts,

687
00:33:43,160 --> 00:33:48,320
Speaker 3: so I try to yes, And so it's when I

688
00:33:48,360 --> 00:33:50,440
Speaker 3: have to give even if it's like I'm not even

689
00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:51,880
Speaker 3: it's not a fight, Like if I have to give

690
00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:55,240
Speaker 3: someone a bad news or I'm like, you know, just

691
00:33:55,280 --> 00:34:00,840
Speaker 3: saying no, like I'm I hate it, but there is

692
00:34:00,880 --> 00:34:03,840
Speaker 3: nothing better. There's no better feeling than when you just

693
00:34:03,880 --> 00:34:06,720
Speaker 3: fucking rip the band. They'd often do it because you're

694
00:34:06,760 --> 00:34:09,319
Speaker 3: just it frees you of the anxiety of having to

695
00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:10,440
Speaker 3: do it, so the.

696
00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:12,520
Speaker 1: Build up of doing it, putting it off it has

697
00:34:12,560 --> 00:34:14,560
Speaker 1: to be so much worse. I don't relate to that,

698
00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:17,560
Speaker 1: so it's hard, but I just I know the times

699
00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:20,400
Speaker 1: where I've had the anticipation of stuff is really the

700
00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:26,360
Speaker 1: thing that's making me crazy versus the actual experience or whatever,

701
00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:30,839
Speaker 1: conversation or whatever. Yeah, so like the build up. But

702
00:34:30,880 --> 00:34:33,920
Speaker 1: then oh I had a thought and I lost it.

703
00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:36,880
Speaker 1: It was going to be so epic, y'all, like so

704
00:34:37,160 --> 00:34:41,480
Speaker 1: epic and so good. I don't know. It was about

705
00:34:41,640 --> 00:34:45,600
Speaker 1: the avoiding conflict. Oh, what I was going to say

706
00:34:45,680 --> 00:34:49,680
Speaker 1: is I also in one of my relationships recently that

707
00:34:49,840 --> 00:34:52,920
Speaker 1: was like a big thing. And he didn't he didn't

708
00:34:53,040 --> 00:34:55,400
Speaker 1: feel good about conflict ever, very much like you like

709
00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:58,719
Speaker 1: just a kind soul, but like would try to avoid conflict,

710
00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:01,399
Speaker 1: and so that created probab in our relationship though, because

711
00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:03,640
Speaker 1: I'm like, if you just communicate with me, like I'm

712
00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:04,720
Speaker 1: not gonna fight with you.

713
00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:05,080
Speaker 2: We're good.

714
00:35:05,320 --> 00:35:07,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, don't communicate with me, And I have to guess

715
00:35:08,239 --> 00:35:10,319
Speaker 1: that is when I get pissed off, and that is

716
00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:13,840
Speaker 1: what that produces conflict, because I'm just like making up

717
00:35:13,880 --> 00:35:16,279
Speaker 1: all these stories in my head about what's happening by

718
00:35:16,320 --> 00:35:19,840
Speaker 1: your behavior, and if you just told me what was happening,

719
00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:23,440
Speaker 1: it wouldn't really be an issue, you know, And so

720
00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:26,200
Speaker 1: I just think it creates actually more problems to not

721
00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:30,680
Speaker 1: communicate And if people are responding poorly to your honest truth,

722
00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:33,080
Speaker 1: especially if you say it in a kind way, do

723
00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:35,560
Speaker 1: you really want those relationships in your life anyway?

724
00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:36,799
Speaker 2: Right? Yeah?

725
00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:40,200
Speaker 1: The people who are good will respect you, right.

726
00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:42,279
Speaker 2: I guess It's where it gets gray.

727
00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:46,920
Speaker 3: Is like when it's family or your boss or you know,

728
00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:49,360
Speaker 3: a work thing. It's someone that you're like doing business

729
00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:52,360
Speaker 3: with that you don't even really know. That's when it

730
00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:54,520
Speaker 3: really gets harry. It's like when you're dealing with someone

731
00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:57,480
Speaker 3: like I don't know this fucking person, you know, Like, yeah,

732
00:35:57,520 --> 00:35:59,920
Speaker 3: so you don't even know what to expect. But totally,

733
00:36:00,320 --> 00:36:02,200
Speaker 3: I mean, I think it all boils down to like

734
00:36:02,760 --> 00:36:04,840
Speaker 3: we should all just sort of respect each other. We

735
00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:08,240
Speaker 3: should respect each other's privacy, we should expect each other's

736
00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:11,880
Speaker 3: work life balance, we should respect each other's time, and

737
00:36:11,960 --> 00:36:17,920
Speaker 3: we should respectfully respond to people in whatever way is

738
00:36:17,960 --> 00:36:20,640
Speaker 3: the most respectful way, Like well it's.

739
00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:23,439
Speaker 1: Also but maybe want to say, like respect the way

740
00:36:23,480 --> 00:36:26,160
Speaker 1: that our cold Like I don't know that this is changing,

741
00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:28,359
Speaker 1: you know, I mean, do you take care of you?

742
00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:32,640
Speaker 1: But like there have been. That's like basically saying like

743
00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:34,480
Speaker 1: I wish the internet would go away, and maybe it

744
00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:36,719
Speaker 1: all will, I don't know, but as of right now,

745
00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:40,840
Speaker 1: it doesn't seem like that. So leaning in a little

746
00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:45,120
Speaker 1: more to maybe having I don't know, kinder etiquette. I

747
00:36:45,120 --> 00:36:47,799
Speaker 1: feel like we're like we're like the texting police today.

748
00:36:47,600 --> 00:36:51,040
Speaker 2: If we're like old people now or like I feel that.

749
00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:54,000
Speaker 1: You guys, you have to respond. It's rude.

750
00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:56,920
Speaker 3: You know what the rudest thing is is to start responding.

751
00:36:57,120 --> 00:36:59,560
Speaker 3: I mean this is for only Apple users, Like you

752
00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:02,920
Speaker 3: start respawning so the person you see the bubbles and

753
00:37:02,960 --> 00:37:03,680
Speaker 3: then you stop.

754
00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:08,239
Speaker 1: Nothing will make me crazier. I'm literally all your bubbles.

755
00:37:08,360 --> 00:37:10,319
Speaker 3: You know what's fucked up is I have a gift

756
00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:13,040
Speaker 3: of that so I can send someone that gift and

757
00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:17,640
Speaker 3: it just looks like I'm typing, and so I'm gonna

758
00:37:17,640 --> 00:37:18,919
Speaker 3: send it to you right now so that you have.

759
00:37:19,120 --> 00:37:23,839
Speaker 1: Great with my head. Anyway, I'm curious what you guys

760
00:37:23,880 --> 00:37:26,280
Speaker 1: think about this. Are you a person who feels obligated

761
00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:28,720
Speaker 1: to text at all times? Are we missing the mark

762
00:37:28,760 --> 00:37:31,640
Speaker 1: here by being so available all the time. Do you

763
00:37:31,680 --> 00:37:34,080
Speaker 1: think it'll change in our culture? Or are you the

764
00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:37,200
Speaker 1: person who's like, bitch, I'm not available all the time,

765
00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:39,560
Speaker 1: and I have boundaries around it, and I have some

766
00:37:39,640 --> 00:37:42,720
Speaker 1: things to say to what you said. You can email

767
00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:45,239
Speaker 1: us at the edge at velvetedge dot com, or I

768
00:37:45,280 --> 00:37:47,759
Speaker 1: would love to hear this via voicemail. You can check

769
00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:50,399
Speaker 1: out the voicemail on my Instagram page and the link

770
00:37:50,440 --> 00:37:54,160
Speaker 1: in bio. Also, oh sorry, I'm at Velvet's Edge. Chip

771
00:37:54,239 --> 00:37:57,080
Speaker 1: also put it in his bio and one day we're

772
00:37:57,080 --> 00:37:59,160
Speaker 1: going to get him to start posting about the podcast too.

773
00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:01,760
Speaker 2: So bad at promoting myself.

774
00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:05,600
Speaker 3: But you can follow me and not see any post

775
00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:09,840
Speaker 3: because I rarely post at Chip doors it's Chip d

776
00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:11,080
Speaker 3: r s h.

777
00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:14,439
Speaker 1: You sold yourself and then you took it back because

778
00:38:14,480 --> 00:38:17,000
Speaker 1: you were like, you can follow me, except I never post.

779
00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:17,840
Speaker 1: You can't do it.

780
00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:20,959
Speaker 2: Story I post stories more than in feed.

781
00:38:21,640 --> 00:38:25,120
Speaker 1: Okay. Well, as you guys go into the weekend and

782
00:38:25,280 --> 00:38:28,400
Speaker 1: Chip works on promoting himself, I hope that you are

783
00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:30,840
Speaker 1: living on the edge and well, fuck.

784
00:38:31,680 --> 00:38:34,040
Speaker 2: You don't act casual when Kelly texts you.

785
00:38:34,440 --> 00:38:37,720
Speaker 1: If I text you, you better not be acting fucking casual. Okay,

786
00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:40,200
Speaker 1: I'm just kidding. You. Guys can act as casual as

787
00:38:40,239 --> 00:38:44,360
Speaker 1: you want because it's the weekend, all right. As you

788
00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:46,239
Speaker 1: guys go into the weekend and you're living on the edge,

789
00:38:46,239 --> 00:38:49,160
Speaker 1: I hope you always remember to act casual.

790
00:38:50,160 --> 00:38:50,759
Speaker 2: Bye Bye,