1 00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:14,960 Speaker 1: Want to hear something else stupid. You don't like someone 2 00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:16,480 Speaker 1: and you might want to set them up with someone else. 3 00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:19,000 Speaker 1: What's wrong with them? Nothing's wrong with them. You're allowed 4 00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:20,640 Speaker 1: to have whatever you want, so you want toupset them 5 00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:22,640 Speaker 1: up with them? So many girls like, wait, I don't 6 00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:23,680 Speaker 1: want your slappy seconds? 7 00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:24,200 Speaker 2: Why not? 8 00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:27,520 Speaker 1: I have an air mez bag here. I don't wear it, 9 00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:29,520 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna use it. I'd like to give it 10 00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:31,120 Speaker 1: to you. If you don't want it, I'm gonna give 11 00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:33,519 Speaker 1: it to somebody else. There's no such thing as sloppy seconds. 12 00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:35,760 Speaker 1: If the person's saying the guy is a good guy, 13 00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:38,640 Speaker 1: If the guy is a piece of shit, they're not 14 00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:40,520 Speaker 1: gonna hand him over to you. Then they're a bad person. 15 00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:42,519 Speaker 1: Then you should never speak to them again. Like, there 16 00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:45,599 Speaker 1: are ways to find out that someone's not a good person. Okay, 17 00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:48,960 Speaker 1: but just because someone else didn't want them, what does 18 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:51,840 Speaker 1: that mean? Does someone else have every piece of clothing 19 00:00:51,880 --> 00:00:53,519 Speaker 1: you have? Live in the house you live in, like 20 00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:55,920 Speaker 1: the same food you like? Do someone like Cilantro? Someone 21 00:00:55,920 --> 00:00:58,920 Speaker 1: else likes Basil? Are you an infant? Slappy seconds are good? 22 00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:03,080 Speaker 1: Take the sloppy seconds. One woman's trash is another woman's 23 00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:05,679 Speaker 1: twenty five year old marriage. I went out with a 24 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:08,200 Speaker 1: guy him. We had the best time. We danced, we 25 00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:12,000 Speaker 1: hung out, I had the greatest time. I spent more 26 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:15,800 Speaker 1: time with him. He's not my husband. With great certainty, 27 00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:18,120 Speaker 1: with ninety nine percent certainty, I think he's not my husband. 28 00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:20,640 Speaker 1: And I liked him a lot, and we're texting, we're 29 00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:23,319 Speaker 1: still friends. I set him up with someone else. They 30 00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:26,320 Speaker 1: liked each other a lot. I don't know if their 31 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:30,000 Speaker 1: husband and wife either, but they are going out again. 32 00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:31,640 Speaker 1: I'm not going out with him again. 33 00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:32,280 Speaker 2: What am I gonna do? 34 00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:35,720 Speaker 1: Pilimid a dumpster. He's a wonderful man and now he's 35 00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:38,720 Speaker 1: going out with a wonderful girl. So I was talking 36 00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:40,000 Speaker 1: to a guy who said to me that he was 37 00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:41,800 Speaker 1: in a place in Miami and it seemed like everybody 38 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:43,200 Speaker 1: was either pro or semi pro. 39 00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:43,840 Speaker 2: What does that mean? 40 00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:46,399 Speaker 1: It means the woman who's actually in there hoping to 41 00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:51,960 Speaker 1: get literal currency for sex or a hand job or whatever. 42 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:57,320 Speaker 1: A semi pro is a woman who's in there running game, 43 00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:02,360 Speaker 1: working the system, and immediately will probably be interviewing the 44 00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:05,440 Speaker 1: man to get his net worth statement out. 45 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:06,840 Speaker 2: And that's a semi pro. 46 00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:09,959 Speaker 1: There are also pros that don't take money, they're just pros, 47 00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:11,680 Speaker 1: and that they're big game hunters. I know a lot 48 00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:14,000 Speaker 1: of people who are big game hunters that will end 49 00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:16,320 Speaker 1: up finding a man that's rich. That's what's important to them. 50 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:21,000 Speaker 1: And they probably are fucking either the hottest women on 51 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:24,000 Speaker 1: earth or they know what they're doing. But an amateur 52 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:26,680 Speaker 1: hour could be hot. And she's going to lead too 53 00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:28,799 Speaker 1: quickly with the question. She's going to let a guy 54 00:02:28,919 --> 00:02:31,840 Speaker 1: know right away that she's looking for a net worth statement. 55 00:02:31,880 --> 00:02:33,040 Speaker 2: She's interviewing him. 56 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:36,200 Speaker 1: She wants to know exactly where he lives, what he drives, 57 00:02:36,639 --> 00:02:37,600 Speaker 1: how he rolls. 58 00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:41,760 Speaker 2: And these men are pros too. You think these. 59 00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:46,040 Speaker 1: Men who are Wall Street titans who have tens of 60 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,880 Speaker 1: millions of hundreds of millions of dollars, don't know a 61 00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:51,880 Speaker 1: fucking pro. You think they don't deal with Barracuda's on 62 00:02:51,919 --> 00:02:54,760 Speaker 1: Wall Street every day. You think they don't know a 63 00:02:55,240 --> 00:03:00,320 Speaker 1: like a fucking Checkers player. Gold digger, Okay, if they 64 00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:04,640 Speaker 1: have they have gold digger trigger. They have such a 65 00:03:04,639 --> 00:03:06,840 Speaker 1: gold digger trigger that they'll meet someone who's not a 66 00:03:06,880 --> 00:03:09,239 Speaker 1: gold digger and they have their alert up. 67 00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:11,280 Speaker 2: They will also test women. 68 00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:15,480 Speaker 1: They won't buy women anything because they are testing to 69 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:17,000 Speaker 1: see if it's gonna make the woman run. 70 00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:18,400 Speaker 2: They're pros too. 71 00:03:18,919 --> 00:03:24,520 Speaker 1: The men are pros too, so women don't play the 72 00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:25,400 Speaker 1: short game. 73 00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:27,799 Speaker 2: Okay, the men are smarter than you. 74 00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:30,240 Speaker 1: The men that you're gold digging didn't get to be 75 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:32,440 Speaker 1: the men with the piles of goal by being stupid. 76 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:35,560 Speaker 1: They know how stupid you are. Now, if you are 77 00:03:35,720 --> 00:03:39,280 Speaker 1: hot or like play the Jedi mind tricks or can 78 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:43,680 Speaker 1: enter them into the mind control program, they might want 79 00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:46,160 Speaker 1: it anyway. Some men like a gold digger. They know 80 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:49,120 Speaker 1: what they're getting. We're gonna hang out. You're hot, I'm 81 00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:51,920 Speaker 1: gonna buy you in arimez bags and jewelry. You know, 82 00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:53,640 Speaker 1: all the other women are gonna be jealous of you. 83 00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:55,880 Speaker 1: They're gonna want me to. All the other men are 84 00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:58,160 Speaker 1: gonna try to compete with my program. It's a flex fine. 85 00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:01,680 Speaker 1: Just know what you're doing with This is what goes on. 86 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:04,800 Speaker 1: They're pros everywhere. I see them all over social media, 87 00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:07,360 Speaker 1: all over the universe. They're women. They're pros because you're 88 00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:10,880 Speaker 1: pros because, hey, men, some of you want to date 89 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:12,560 Speaker 1: only thirty five year olds, even though you look like 90 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:15,040 Speaker 1: a lawn ornament. Some of you men only want to 91 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:17,240 Speaker 1: date a really hot woman because you have money, you 92 00:04:17,240 --> 00:04:19,440 Speaker 1: look like a law and ornament. I'm just letting you 93 00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:23,080 Speaker 1: guys know how the game is played, fought and won. 94 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:26,239 Speaker 1: I was talking to a guy today who's tall, good looking, 95 00:04:26,279 --> 00:04:27,680 Speaker 1: great body, has a lot of money. 96 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:29,960 Speaker 2: He said, he's not just looking for looks. 97 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:33,320 Speaker 1: I said, I have a girl for you who's hot 98 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:35,960 Speaker 1: and amazing and very similar mindset to him. 99 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:37,719 Speaker 2: He said, I'm not shallow. 100 00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:40,919 Speaker 1: There are a lot of men who have been through 101 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:43,320 Speaker 1: all the pros and semi pros, and they don't want 102 00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:44,800 Speaker 1: someone who's unattractive to them. 103 00:04:44,839 --> 00:04:45,960 Speaker 2: It's a superficial world. 104 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:49,080 Speaker 1: But the men who have any money and any success 105 00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:52,200 Speaker 1: in any intelligence and walk upright and will call you 106 00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:56,200 Speaker 1: and not text you because they're not fucking caveman gorillas. 107 00:04:57,000 --> 00:05:01,800 Speaker 1: They don't want just the dining piece. They've been through that. 108 00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:05,080 Speaker 1: They don't trust that. They don't trust that. But they 109 00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:07,839 Speaker 1: have gold digger trigger. Know that right away, and you 110 00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:12,080 Speaker 1: say one thing, And women have their own triggers because 111 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:13,840 Speaker 1: they'll try to test the guys and see if the 112 00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:15,240 Speaker 1: guy's gonna do something or buy something. 113 00:05:15,279 --> 00:05:16,320 Speaker 2: Women don't want to cheat man. 114 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:20,400 Speaker 1: Men be generous, make a phone call, don't just text, 115 00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:25,360 Speaker 1: don't bread crumb women, don't play checkers. Because men want 116 00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:28,760 Speaker 1: a smart woman who can support themselves and can pay 117 00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:31,000 Speaker 1: for themselves. It doesn't mean the man's not gonna want 118 00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:33,200 Speaker 1: to do that for them, but they can. I'm an 119 00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:36,400 Speaker 1: example of that. Men love that I have my own money. 120 00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:39,080 Speaker 1: That doesn't mean we're going out and I'm going Dutch 121 00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:43,200 Speaker 1: by any stretch of anyone's imagination. I've bought houses and 122 00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:45,160 Speaker 1: cars that the man will share. 123 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:45,840 Speaker 2: I don't mind that. 124 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:48,039 Speaker 1: But I'm not going out and paying for something in 125 00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:49,560 Speaker 1: front of a man and it's not happening. I don't 126 00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:50,840 Speaker 1: care what you think. I don't care if I've set 127 00:05:50,839 --> 00:05:53,520 Speaker 1: women back two hundred years. Women, in my eyes, don't 128 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:58,520 Speaker 1: pay for that like public facing, shopping, sitting down at 129 00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:01,120 Speaker 1: a restaurant. But I'll buy a house, I'll buy the furniture, 130 00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:02,919 Speaker 1: I'll do all those things. You just don't want to 131 00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:07,159 Speaker 1: do things that are going to be overly masculating and emasculating. 132 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,840 Speaker 1: You don't want to masculate a woman, and you don't 133 00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:11,680 Speaker 1: want to emasculate a man. But men are so terrified 134 00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:13,440 Speaker 1: that they'll expect a woman to pay in front of 135 00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:14,880 Speaker 1: them because they have gold digger trigger. 136 00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:16,599 Speaker 2: That's your fucking problem. 137 00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:18,640 Speaker 1: Bro. I'm not a gold digger because I have more 138 00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:20,839 Speaker 1: gold than you, but I'm not paying. So if you 139 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:23,240 Speaker 1: have a problem with that, turn around and keep it moving. 140 00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:30,000 Speaker 1: Be transparent about what we want and what we're doing. Okay, 141 00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:34,200 Speaker 1: let's do some dating questions. When should you have sex? 142 00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:34,920 Speaker 2: Okay? 143 00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:39,400 Speaker 1: I find this one to be so interesting and I've 144 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:42,800 Speaker 1: been through it and I think about. 145 00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:45,480 Speaker 2: It at my age, at how my. 146 00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:49,719 Speaker 1: Daughter, god forbid, should handle it, thirties, forties, the whole thing, 147 00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:55,239 Speaker 1: all right. So in theory, you should have sex after 148 00:06:55,400 --> 00:07:00,560 Speaker 1: multiple dates, when you feel secure and c and that 149 00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:05,279 Speaker 1: you are together with this person, that they're going to 150 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:07,920 Speaker 1: text and call. You'd bet your whole life on it, 151 00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:12,040 Speaker 1: okay in theory, or if you are the type of 152 00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:15,040 Speaker 1: person I am not who could just sleep with someone 153 00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:17,600 Speaker 1: because you need it, you need to get laid or something, 154 00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:21,480 Speaker 1: and like you don't care. Those people I don't understand, 155 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:24,360 Speaker 1: but they exist and that's their body, their choice, okay. 156 00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:26,200 Speaker 2: But most people will. 157 00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:29,400 Speaker 1: Feel a certain way, even if they act like they won't, 158 00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:32,600 Speaker 1: think like they won't talk like they won't, they will 159 00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:36,440 Speaker 1: feel a certain way and I'm considering sex intercourse. I'm 160 00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:40,040 Speaker 1: not considering sex all of the other things people say 161 00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:42,400 Speaker 1: that the other is that a blowjob is sex, that 162 00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:45,280 Speaker 1: oral sex is sex. I think sex is sex and 163 00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:48,560 Speaker 1: everything else is for play. I think there's so many 164 00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:50,960 Speaker 1: different about someone being inside of your body and one 165 00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:54,040 Speaker 1: part of your body. Okay, so that's just my opinion, 166 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:56,040 Speaker 1: but I having spoken to a bunch of girls, I 167 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:58,560 Speaker 1: think they agree with that too. We were growing up 168 00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:03,000 Speaker 1: was everything. But okay, so I think you're setting yourself 169 00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:04,760 Speaker 1: up for more success. 170 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:06,480 Speaker 2: By not doing it right away. 171 00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:18,640 Speaker 1: Now, I'm setting yourself up for success, your own emotional journey, rollercoaster, pheromones, oxytocin, security, depression, 172 00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:24,840 Speaker 1: anxiety levels. I'm saying that, I'm not saying wait to 173 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:27,640 Speaker 1: have sex with the guy because he won't respect you 174 00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:29,520 Speaker 1: or he won't call you. We're back with the rules. 175 00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:32,960 Speaker 1: I'm really not if you are feeling something with a 176 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:37,240 Speaker 1: guy or a girl. If you're feeling something with someone 177 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:41,840 Speaker 1: that you are dating or hanging out with really like 178 00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:47,360 Speaker 1: so attracted to You're both had way too much to drink, 179 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:50,720 Speaker 1: but it's wild, fun and sexy, or you're in an 180 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:53,719 Speaker 1: environment or something wild has happened. I don't know, you 181 00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:55,840 Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like you're on an island, you 182 00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:57,640 Speaker 1: got wasted, you met him at a bar and it's 183 00:08:57,760 --> 00:08:59,640 Speaker 1: raining out, and it's just like you're on. 184 00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:02,320 Speaker 2: The be whatever. Things can be different. 185 00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:05,840 Speaker 1: I do not think that the reason to not have 186 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:07,720 Speaker 1: sex with someone is because it's on the first date 187 00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:08,480 Speaker 1: or the second data. 188 00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:09,600 Speaker 2: And if the guid doesn't called. 189 00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:12,000 Speaker 1: If a man doesn't call you because of that, he's 190 00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:14,439 Speaker 1: not a man. And people say it's because of the 191 00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:17,880 Speaker 1: chase and the hunt. Okay, that's not a man. A 192 00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:20,640 Speaker 1: man if they were in the moment connecting with you 193 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:23,800 Speaker 1: and it happened, sometimes it feels weird if you didn't, 194 00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:25,880 Speaker 1: because it's like you're only not doing it because you 195 00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:28,000 Speaker 1: told yourself and then you seem like an immature baby 196 00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:32,320 Speaker 1: that made some arbitrary rule. I would say, taking it 197 00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:34,920 Speaker 1: back a notch. This is what I really need to 198 00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:38,920 Speaker 1: tell women of all ages, including myself. You have to 199 00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:42,520 Speaker 1: control the number of cocktails, because that's when you get 200 00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:45,280 Speaker 1: yourself into trouble, because that's when judgment goes out the window. 201 00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:48,080 Speaker 1: That's when we're nervous, that's when you get dehydrated. That's 202 00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:50,440 Speaker 1: when you are having the best time. That's when you're 203 00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:53,400 Speaker 1: making decisions that may not serve you, because at the 204 00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:56,440 Speaker 1: same time, you're going to crash and be depressed because 205 00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:59,680 Speaker 1: of alcohol and it's a depressant and exhausted and feel 206 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:02,880 Speaker 1: gross and hungover and want to eat junk food. And 207 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:05,360 Speaker 1: you also will have slept with someone and you won't 208 00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:07,760 Speaker 1: know how they're supposed to react. If you don't sleep 209 00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:09,680 Speaker 1: with them and they don't call, you'll still be upset. 210 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:11,599 Speaker 1: But if for some reason you slept at them and 211 00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:15,600 Speaker 1: they didn't call, like it could just mess with your levels. 212 00:10:15,760 --> 00:10:18,440 Speaker 1: So I would say you're kind of trying to protect 213 00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:25,160 Speaker 1: yourself as women who are not more insecure, but who 214 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:28,440 Speaker 1: attached differently because of sex, who connect differently because of sex. 215 00:10:29,040 --> 00:10:30,480 Speaker 2: I have anxious attachment. 216 00:10:30,720 --> 00:10:33,400 Speaker 1: I have kind of worked on it and corrected it, 217 00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:36,720 Speaker 1: but left to its own devices, I will get anxious 218 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:40,080 Speaker 1: if I don't hear from someone. But what happens and 219 00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:42,120 Speaker 1: comes with age is that you realize you do not 220 00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:46,360 Speaker 1: regret anything. By the way, you can't really and you 221 00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:48,040 Speaker 1: shouldn't do things that you're going to regret, but you 222 00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:51,120 Speaker 1: should not regret sex. And so to answer the question, 223 00:10:51,679 --> 00:10:55,680 Speaker 1: when should you have sex if you're looking for a commitment, 224 00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:59,280 Speaker 1: when you are sure that this person is definitely going 225 00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:02,440 Speaker 1: to call you or with you, that you feel secure 226 00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:04,559 Speaker 1: that they're with you, or that you just want to 227 00:11:04,559 --> 00:11:08,600 Speaker 1: get laid, or where you can just handle it. 228 00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:10,160 Speaker 2: And I don't know that many people that can. 229 00:11:10,559 --> 00:11:12,600 Speaker 1: But the problem with that is that if you're so 230 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:16,360 Speaker 1: into someone, you can't always do everything that's perfect. Because 231 00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:18,920 Speaker 1: anyone that I've ever slept with soon is someone I 232 00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:22,959 Speaker 1: had a mad connection with mad connection. Up into my forties, 233 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:24,840 Speaker 1: I'd never had a one night stand. One one night 234 00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:27,600 Speaker 1: stand an aspen and the guy was the most beautiful 235 00:11:27,640 --> 00:11:29,679 Speaker 1: man ever, and he called me the next day and 236 00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:32,640 Speaker 1: liked me because like, we had a connection. Another person 237 00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:34,720 Speaker 1: years ago in my forties was someone I ended up 238 00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:37,920 Speaker 1: in a relationship with. So like it's not a common practice, 239 00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:39,559 Speaker 1: but often the guy that you don't want to sleep 240 00:11:39,559 --> 00:11:41,439 Speaker 1: with on the first or second date is the guy 241 00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:42,400 Speaker 1: that you're not that into. 242 00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:45,079 Speaker 2: I'm a scorpio. It's a very sexual sign. 243 00:11:45,559 --> 00:11:47,320 Speaker 1: You know, you have to control what goes on around 244 00:11:47,320 --> 00:12:02,280 Speaker 1: it and wrap yourself in bubble wrap and frame it 245 00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:05,360 Speaker 1: has My timing for sex when dating changed with age. Yes, 246 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:08,679 Speaker 1: it has as I just said, it's you're not a baby, 247 00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:11,040 Speaker 1: and if someone can't handle that, then they would not 248 00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:13,840 Speaker 1: have been the right person. But whatever happens after sex 249 00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:16,079 Speaker 1: is what was supposed to happen. I've never heard one 250 00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:19,040 Speaker 1: person say I thought she was great, she could have 251 00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:21,640 Speaker 1: been my person, but she had sex with me on 252 00:12:21,679 --> 00:12:23,800 Speaker 1: the first date. I've never heard it. Have you ever 253 00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:27,640 Speaker 1: heard it? I've never heard it. But you could do 254 00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:31,120 Speaker 1: something stupid while being drunk enough to have sex in 255 00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:33,040 Speaker 1: the first date, and that could be a red flag 256 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:34,840 Speaker 1: or something that happens. I just have never heard it. 257 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:38,840 Speaker 1: How do you know the man is the one? I 258 00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:41,840 Speaker 1: am probably on the planet Earth, the worst person to 259 00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:44,960 Speaker 1: ask that, the worst person. There's never been someone who 260 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:47,839 Speaker 1: has a worst picker than I do. But because I've 261 00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:51,160 Speaker 1: done so much work on it and myself and have 262 00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:54,200 Speaker 1: been nowhere near thinking someone is the one for a 263 00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:58,040 Speaker 1: long time, I would say when you feel like you've 264 00:12:58,080 --> 00:13:01,200 Speaker 1: found a partner, when you feel like you're your most 265 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:04,600 Speaker 1: authentic self, when you feel like you're at peace. 266 00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:07,640 Speaker 2: If you don't love it, you don't like it. 267 00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:10,360 Speaker 1: So when you are not doubting it at all, I 268 00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:12,360 Speaker 1: always say, if you don't know, yes, it's no. So 269 00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:15,320 Speaker 1: when you just know yes, if you just know yes 270 00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:19,600 Speaker 1: without your body speaking to you, meaning sexual or attraction, 271 00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:22,600 Speaker 1: without like they have money or they are a doctor, 272 00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:25,320 Speaker 1: or some logical thing, if you and your body know yes, 273 00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:28,480 Speaker 1: I would think it's probably yes. Do I believe in 274 00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:32,600 Speaker 1: taking a break in relationships. I believe in the fact 275 00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:35,600 Speaker 1: that saying you're taking a break in relationships means the 276 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:37,760 Speaker 1: relationship is over, but you don't have the courage to 277 00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:39,880 Speaker 1: say it, and you need to do the methadone program. 278 00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:40,559 Speaker 2: I believe that. 279 00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:43,600 Speaker 1: I believe that any breakup that's ever gotten back together 280 00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:46,839 Speaker 1: that I've experienced doesn't work. But again, there are exceptions 281 00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:50,040 Speaker 1: to every rule. How to discern when to fight for 282 00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:51,920 Speaker 1: something and put in the work or letting it go. 283 00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:57,600 Speaker 1: Like in yoga, if you're experiencing discomfort, you work through it, 284 00:13:57,720 --> 00:13:59,880 Speaker 1: and you should feel some discomfort. And a business deal 285 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:03,040 Speaker 1: shouldn't feel comfortable all the time. There should be some discomfort, 286 00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:06,840 Speaker 1: but overall you feel good. If it's discomfort, it's okay. 287 00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:09,360 Speaker 1: If it's pain, it's not okay. That's how a relationship 288 00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:14,680 Speaker 1: should be. If it's discomfort, no problem. Everybody goes through phases, problems, issues. 289 00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:21,880 Speaker 1: If it's actual, real like sustainable chronic unhappiness, you have 290 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:23,000 Speaker 1: to really evaluate it. 291 00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:24,880 Speaker 2: When do you tell. 292 00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:26,400 Speaker 1: Them you want to be exclusive. I don't think you 293 00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:29,040 Speaker 1: really need to tell someone. It'll just come. You'll be 294 00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:31,360 Speaker 1: so into someone, they'll be so into you. One day 295 00:14:31,360 --> 00:14:33,680 Speaker 1: they'll tell you they love you. I don't think you 296 00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:36,560 Speaker 1: need to tell or ask. I think if you're into 297 00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:39,760 Speaker 1: someone enough, there's just no having to discuss it. You 298 00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:42,840 Speaker 1: would never want to be with someone else. You have 299 00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:45,440 Speaker 1: no idea. How many men have told me about their 300 00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:50,400 Speaker 1: young marriage mergers, meaning they were young kids and whoever 301 00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:52,400 Speaker 1: they married that they've been married to for like twenty 302 00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:55,560 Speaker 1: five years and became like their sibling, like their best friend. 303 00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:58,040 Speaker 1: You know, on both cases, like the wife feels the 304 00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:02,080 Speaker 1: same way. But this was a good fit. Either the 305 00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:05,240 Speaker 1: parents were friends and they all like travel in the 306 00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:09,600 Speaker 1: same circles, or it was like a cultural fit, meaning 307 00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:12,400 Speaker 1: not like an arranged marriage, but almost like an arranged marriage. 308 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:16,800 Speaker 1: Cultural fit a fitting the mold. So people that live 309 00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:20,240 Speaker 1: in the same community as other families, and they're very 310 00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:23,640 Speaker 1: aligned politically culturally, and so it's sort of like an 311 00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:25,040 Speaker 1: arranged marriage, Like. 312 00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:27,760 Speaker 2: It just works. It's what you're supposed to do. It's 313 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:28,760 Speaker 2: that the parents want. 314 00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:30,920 Speaker 1: It's not forced, and the kids think it's a good idea, 315 00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:35,920 Speaker 1: but they don't know to be about connection and intellect 316 00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:39,360 Speaker 1: and spirituality. They're just kind of it's what you did then. 317 00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:41,720 Speaker 1: You just got married. You just grabbed a companion and 318 00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:45,120 Speaker 1: you got married. So I get it. But these people then, 319 00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:48,120 Speaker 1: decades later, really want to find some of the aligns 320 00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:51,800 Speaker 1: with what their soul and their heart feels, not just 321 00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:55,920 Speaker 1: what their famili's logic feels and even their logic. I 322 00:15:55,960 --> 00:16:00,480 Speaker 1: think that people are to game playish in the to 323 00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:05,640 Speaker 1: seem cool and secure, and it ends up seeming insecure. 324 00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:09,560 Speaker 1: So there's a guy that was pursuing me and it 325 00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:11,440 Speaker 1: was a little pushy, and I kind of backed off. 326 00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:12,560 Speaker 2: It just was too much. 327 00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:15,680 Speaker 1: And someone kept saying to me how great they were 328 00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:18,400 Speaker 1: and that they were really interested. And I opened the 329 00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:23,440 Speaker 1: door very slightly and they came in and made some 330 00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:29,240 Speaker 1: really nice, romantic and thoughtful gestures. And instead of being 331 00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:32,000 Speaker 1: entitled or playing cat and mouse, I went out of 332 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:36,359 Speaker 1: my way and said, I really think that that was meaningful. 333 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:40,480 Speaker 1: That was a meaningful, thoughtful gesture. It was appreciated. In addition, 334 00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:45,840 Speaker 1: when they were pursuing me and I was not responding. 335 00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:49,160 Speaker 1: It could have almost given a little bitchy like being like, 336 00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:50,760 Speaker 1: I'm not sure if this is a fit, et cetera. 337 00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:53,800 Speaker 1: But then I framed it and said, listen, this is 338 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:56,160 Speaker 1: exactly what I want. This is where I'm in my 339 00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:59,600 Speaker 1: life now. That's why I was hesitant. So these are 340 00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:01,760 Speaker 1: the things that are my concerns and these are the 341 00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:04,200 Speaker 1: things that I want, and so that's you know, something 342 00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:05,720 Speaker 1: like that. Like it was basically like, this is where 343 00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:07,919 Speaker 1: I ultimately believe that I want to live, this is 344 00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:10,520 Speaker 1: how my life and career is, and this is the 345 00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:12,320 Speaker 1: stage I'm out of my life, and this is what 346 00:17:12,359 --> 00:17:14,680 Speaker 1: I want. And the person was like, yeah, no, I 347 00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:17,680 Speaker 1: get it. Meaning you're telling someone now what you want 348 00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:19,520 Speaker 1: right now. We're not in a relationship, but you're saying 349 00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:21,119 Speaker 1: I don't want to even get in this car if 350 00:17:21,119 --> 00:17:22,760 Speaker 1: it's going in the wrong direction. So you need to 351 00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:25,399 Speaker 1: know that ultimately I'm not going to want to do 352 00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:27,600 Speaker 1: that or live there or be that. What I'm going 353 00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:30,920 Speaker 1: to want to do, with flexibility and compromise is be here. 354 00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:33,240 Speaker 1: So I want you to know that before you go 355 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:35,320 Speaker 1: out of your way to take me out and it 356 00:17:35,359 --> 00:17:38,840 Speaker 1: really works. And that's secure. That's not insecure. You're allowed 357 00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:41,040 Speaker 1: at a certain age to say this is what I want. 358 00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:43,439 Speaker 1: You're allowed to say it at your twenties, your thirties, 359 00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:44,800 Speaker 1: You're allowed to say it at any point. 360 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,879 Speaker 2: It just has to land. And you can't seem desperate. 361 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:49,760 Speaker 1: You can't get drunk and start talking to someone and 362 00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:52,159 Speaker 1: say but I want to get married by like, but 363 00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:54,119 Speaker 1: you can before a date or on a date, you 364 00:17:54,119 --> 00:17:58,080 Speaker 1: could say, yeah, I have a pretty specific goal of mind. 365 00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:00,640 Speaker 2: And while that may be, I. 366 00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:02,720 Speaker 1: Mean, it doesn't work as well with younger men, I 367 00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:05,639 Speaker 1: don't think, because it might scare them, but it really 368 00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:12,800 Speaker 1: does work with older people. It is shocking how intentional 369 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:15,359 Speaker 1: so many people of a certain age want to be. 370 00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:18,080 Speaker 1: They know exactly what they want and they want it now. 371 00:18:18,359 --> 00:18:21,000 Speaker 1: And I've found that even more men than women, that 372 00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:24,360 Speaker 1: men at a certain age really over fifty but late 373 00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:27,840 Speaker 1: forty two, they know what they want and they want 374 00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:30,320 Speaker 1: to be proactive about getting it now. And it's not 375 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:34,159 Speaker 1: about men dating younger women. Men date younger women, women 376 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:36,960 Speaker 1: can be gold diggers, women date younger men. A lot 377 00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:39,439 Speaker 1: of things go on, but by and large, if someone 378 00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:42,399 Speaker 1: is intentional about meeting someone, usually they want to be 379 00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:45,000 Speaker 1: somewhat age appropriate. That it's what I have found, and 380 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:48,040 Speaker 1: I found that it's way more. There are way more 381 00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:52,040 Speaker 1: men that really are like acting as if they're treating 382 00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:55,280 Speaker 1: it like a business, like they really want it. I 383 00:18:55,520 --> 00:18:58,760 Speaker 1: have come to really realize that the matchmaking industry and 384 00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:02,080 Speaker 1: the app industry are men sing the mark because I've 385 00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:07,760 Speaker 1: been dating, because I've started a dating model that I 386 00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:11,399 Speaker 1: won't get into great detail about because there are a 387 00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:15,240 Speaker 1: lot of things about it that are proprietary, new ways 388 00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:21,080 Speaker 1: of doing things, new concepts, new debunking myths about women, 389 00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:26,639 Speaker 1: debunking men only wanting younger women, debunking that men think 390 00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:32,080 Speaker 1: all women are gold diggers, debunking that men don't want 391 00:19:32,119 --> 00:19:35,119 Speaker 1: really accomplished women. And just like all the things we're told, 392 00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:50,560 Speaker 1: I'm finding are false. People who want to meet someone 393 00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:54,320 Speaker 1: and who are intentional about finding a relationship, they want it, 394 00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:56,000 Speaker 1: and they want it now, and they're serious about it. 395 00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:58,120 Speaker 1: They'll treat it like a job because they don't go out. 396 00:19:58,160 --> 00:20:00,240 Speaker 1: They don't party in the way that younger peopple do. 397 00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:01,800 Speaker 1: They don't go out to night clubs. They're not just 398 00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:04,960 Speaker 1: out every night hooking up meeting someone, the biggest thing 399 00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:06,840 Speaker 1: being about like what they're going to order in from 400 00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:09,080 Speaker 1: Uber Eats and what they're going to watch on Netflix. 401 00:20:09,119 --> 00:20:11,280 Speaker 1: It's not like that at a certain age, and you 402 00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:13,000 Speaker 1: don't know about it until you're at a certain age. 403 00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:14,880 Speaker 1: You don't even know about it really in your forties. 404 00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:18,480 Speaker 1: Just something comes together at a certain age. And also 405 00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:21,680 Speaker 1: the way that people sort of work together when they're 406 00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:24,800 Speaker 1: trying to either lose weight or get in shape, that 407 00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:29,560 Speaker 1: also occurs can occur in dating if like minded people 408 00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:36,639 Speaker 1: are discussing it. It's amazing how a support system can work, 409 00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:41,440 Speaker 1: meaning not allowing your friends at a certain level to 410 00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:43,720 Speaker 1: tolerate less than what they deserve. We did that in 411 00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:46,240 Speaker 1: our twenties and our thirties, and sometimes, I guess in 412 00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:49,800 Speaker 1: our forties. But like at a certain age, you're not 413 00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:54,040 Speaker 1: even remotely tolerating a friend tolerating something either abusive or 414 00:20:54,119 --> 00:20:58,640 Speaker 1: dysfunctional or because the one thing that dating coach said 415 00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:02,480 Speaker 1: on here that was true is that dating is an 416 00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:06,480 Speaker 1: interview process for the most important position. So if you 417 00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:09,400 Speaker 1: put it through that filter, you will just know when 418 00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:11,399 Speaker 1: someone is even in the running for the job or 419 00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:12,159 Speaker 1: should be fired. 420 00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:13,439 Speaker 2: And how do you fire someone. 421 00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:19,280 Speaker 1: So I've met some people that are very good quote 422 00:21:19,359 --> 00:21:26,200 Speaker 1: unquote catches, are successful or attractive, are fun, but maybe 423 00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:28,600 Speaker 1: they break crumb a little. Maybe they're not romantic, or 424 00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:31,520 Speaker 1: they don't send flowers, or they don't follow up, or 425 00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:34,719 Speaker 1: they don't thank you when it was a nice time together, 426 00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:38,200 Speaker 1: or they are still playing games or whatever. 427 00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:39,080 Speaker 2: It is, Okay. 428 00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:44,000 Speaker 1: The thing that women that are playing checkers do is 429 00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:48,440 Speaker 1: blow them out, like meaning let's say you go out 430 00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:50,080 Speaker 1: with someone a couple times, you think they like you, 431 00:21:50,119 --> 00:21:52,800 Speaker 1: they say all these amazing things to you, and then 432 00:21:53,040 --> 00:21:55,480 Speaker 1: they kind of go a little cold, or they ghost you, 433 00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:58,359 Speaker 1: or something happens right, or you just they're break crumbing you. 434 00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:03,920 Speaker 1: Many women want to like get into the nastiness, meaning 435 00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:07,679 Speaker 1: like be rude to the guy, ignore the guy, say something. 436 00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:09,520 Speaker 2: Nasty or it was totally inappropriate that you did that. 437 00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:12,760 Speaker 1: My way of doing things, which seems to work, and 438 00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:15,960 Speaker 1: I've been sharing it with my friends, is to respectfully 439 00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:20,760 Speaker 1: tell the person that your needs and wants don't align. 440 00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:25,280 Speaker 1: It could literally be that the person is blowing you off. 441 00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:29,880 Speaker 1: But sometimes you get triggered in that process and you're 442 00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:31,720 Speaker 1: like in some game that you don't even want to 443 00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:33,600 Speaker 1: be playing. But if someone texts you, then you text 444 00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:35,879 Speaker 1: back and you're kind of like in this volley that 445 00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:38,359 Speaker 1: you're not interested in. But you can always get the 446 00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:41,120 Speaker 1: ball back and you can always take control of what's 447 00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:43,080 Speaker 1: going on. And my way of doing that is if 448 00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:45,439 Speaker 1: I'm not liking the way something is going or the 449 00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:49,359 Speaker 1: way someone's acting, you could either say, like this hurt 450 00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:52,520 Speaker 1: my feelings or this is not what I think. 451 00:22:52,359 --> 00:22:53,760 Speaker 2: Is appropriate or respectful. 452 00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:56,040 Speaker 1: But if you're not at that point with a person, 453 00:22:56,040 --> 00:22:57,760 Speaker 1: it's someone that you've just met a couple times, it's 454 00:22:57,760 --> 00:23:00,840 Speaker 1: effectively a stranger, and I'm not gonna start sharing all 455 00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:03,000 Speaker 1: my feelings and being vulnerable with a stranger. 456 00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:04,080 Speaker 2: I don't owe that to them. 457 00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:06,720 Speaker 1: And as a woman, I would like to be pursued 458 00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:08,919 Speaker 1: because I do think there is some tradition in it, 459 00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:14,960 Speaker 1: and if someone's not being totally respectful and doing a 460 00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:20,239 Speaker 1: good job in that interview process, I'll just say I 461 00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:24,280 Speaker 1: don't think this is a connection. I think this is 462 00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:27,200 Speaker 1: based on what I'm looking for. Our needs and wants 463 00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:29,480 Speaker 1: don't line up. We're not aligned. This is not a fit, 464 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:32,760 Speaker 1: and you'd be surprised how it works. You'd be surprised 465 00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:35,360 Speaker 1: how someone ends up wanting to find out why it's 466 00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:38,760 Speaker 1: a fit, or someone leans in and starts to be 467 00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:41,880 Speaker 1: so nice and kind for the wrong reasons, because it's 468 00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:43,400 Speaker 1: like they're. 469 00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:43,720 Speaker 2: Playing a game. 470 00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:47,359 Speaker 1: Basically, at a certain age, people should be upfront and 471 00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:54,280 Speaker 1: direct and secure, and being honest and transparent and confident 472 00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:57,719 Speaker 1: is very secure. It's not giving needy, it's not giving desperate. 473 00:23:57,760 --> 00:24:00,920 Speaker 1: It's giving straightforward. It's giving you because you're a big 474 00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:03,119 Speaker 1: fucking swinging dick, and you think that people are just 475 00:24:03,119 --> 00:24:06,600 Speaker 1: gonna tolerate whatever you're gonna throw because traditionally women have 476 00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:09,199 Speaker 1: been the ones that are just taking the scraps and 477 00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:11,399 Speaker 1: the breadcrumbs. You're gonna lay down where you're gonna follow 478 00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:13,520 Speaker 1: them and be excited that you gave us a rose, 479 00:24:13,560 --> 00:24:15,280 Speaker 1: as if like we should give you a fucking cookie, 480 00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:18,680 Speaker 1: when in fact, what if a man has a nice 481 00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:20,560 Speaker 1: time with a woman, he should say I had a 482 00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:24,119 Speaker 1: great time, or he should send flowers or whatever is 483 00:24:24,119 --> 00:24:27,600 Speaker 1: obviously within his price range. But women are just used 484 00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:30,720 Speaker 1: to taking such shit and scraps that it kind of 485 00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:33,040 Speaker 1: has to end, and women have to hold other women 486 00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:36,640 Speaker 1: accountable to not stand for that. When you feel an ick, 487 00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:39,679 Speaker 1: there's usually an ick when you see a pink flag, 488 00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:44,040 Speaker 1: there's usually a fire engine red flag. 489 00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:45,719 Speaker 2: So go with that. 490 00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:50,440 Speaker 1: Trust that, like I said, it's a stranger. Don't give 491 00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:52,439 Speaker 1: the idea of what someone could be or what you 492 00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:56,040 Speaker 1: thought they would be. Don't let that inform you as 493 00:24:56,040 --> 00:25:00,120 Speaker 1: to how you're gonna act. Don't give that any currency. 494 00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:03,639 Speaker 1: Women meet someone and they fantasize in their minds what 495 00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:05,600 Speaker 1: this person is going to be or could be, based 496 00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:09,199 Speaker 1: on their title, their resume, their wealth, their looks, And 497 00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:12,040 Speaker 1: you're fantasizing either you could change them, or oh my god, 498 00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:14,119 Speaker 1: what if I married him? Or we could be we 499 00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:15,879 Speaker 1: could live here, or we could do this so we 500 00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:19,280 Speaker 1: could travel there. And you're fantasizing about a stranger. And 501 00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:23,760 Speaker 1: then when the person doesn't align with the standards that 502 00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:27,000 Speaker 1: you already have and should set and should not be breaking, 503 00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:30,800 Speaker 1: you're trying to like make excuses for them, and you 504 00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:33,840 Speaker 1: really shouldn't be, because in the beginning is how someone 505 00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:37,080 Speaker 1: should line up the best. It's the new car smell. 506 00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:39,800 Speaker 1: The beginning is when someone should be on their best behavior. 507 00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:42,200 Speaker 1: So if they can't treat you the way you want 508 00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:44,879 Speaker 1: to be treated in the beginning, then there's no hope 509 00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:48,960 Speaker 1: for it later. So just like raise the bar is, 510 00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:52,720 Speaker 1: I personally would rather be alone than lower the bar, 511 00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:56,600 Speaker 1: and I have gotten to a beautiful state in my 512 00:25:56,720 --> 00:26:03,160 Speaker 1: life where I am not happy, but perfect, peaceful and satisfied. 513 00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:06,520 Speaker 1: Being alone I wouldn't be my first choice, but it 514 00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:10,560 Speaker 1: would be my first choice over fantasizing a stranger and 515 00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:13,840 Speaker 1: letting him treat me in a way that is less 516 00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:15,639 Speaker 1: than how I deserve to be treated. 517 00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:17,800 Speaker 2: So I suggest the same thing to you.