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Speaker 1: Hey, everybody, it's Bill Courtney with an army of normal folks.

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Speaker 1: And we continue now with part two of our conversation

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Speaker 1: with Nate Dean and Derek Deaner. Right after these brief

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Speaker 1: messages from our general sponsors.

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Speaker 2: I moved from Foster Home to Foster Home back in

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Speaker 2: the seventies. It wasn't like, you know, every kid got

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Speaker 2: adopted and it was a wonderful story and you could

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Speaker 2: stay there. You know, I don't even know that they like,

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Speaker 2: they have record of me being there, and they have

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Speaker 2: a record of me leading there, but they don't know

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Speaker 2: there's no other information about visitors or anyone coming to

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Speaker 2: visit me or any of that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So I remember being at the orphanage and you know,

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Speaker 2: having to meet with accounts, which I didn't I didn't

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Speaker 2: even know what that meant. Yeah, I didn't even know

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Speaker 2: what that meant, like and six and seven and eight,

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Speaker 2: you know, because I wasn't talking, and I remember, you know,

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Speaker 2: going into an office and they're like, you're going to

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Speaker 2: talk to this guy. He's a nice guy, and you know,

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Speaker 2: having no understanding of what I was talking, you know,

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Speaker 2: or you know, even there for and he would pull

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Speaker 2: out this Hershey, candy bar and and he would always

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Speaker 2: try to offer me like, hey, just say my name

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Speaker 2: is Nate or you know, you know what is my

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Speaker 2: You just say something and I'll give you a piece

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Speaker 2: of candy. It was like this bribery of like I

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Speaker 2: had to give him something in order to get something.

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Speaker 1: Were you talking to yourself in your head? Yes, yes,

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Speaker 1: you ask you. You were conversing, just not with anybody else. Correct.

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Speaker 2: Physically the words wouldn't come out.

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Speaker 1: You couldn't make them. I couldn't make them. I could, really,

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Speaker 1: so when that you didn't want to talk you literally

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Speaker 1: physically physiologically, it.

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Speaker 2: Was both I nothing to say because I didn't even

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Speaker 2: know what was going on, and I physically couldn't even

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Speaker 2: push words out.

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Speaker 1: I could.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I meane sounds or a giggle or a cry,

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Speaker 2: but it.

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Speaker 1: Was never words.

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Speaker 2: It was never like you know, I remember a lot

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Speaker 2: of the kids at the orphanage spoke for me. You know,

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Speaker 2: they saw that, oh, he likes pizza, or he likes

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Speaker 2: a hamburger, he likes a hot dog, or he doesn't

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Speaker 2: like mustard. And they would like if someone said, you know,

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Speaker 2: do you want a hamburger or a hot dog? They'd say, oh,

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Speaker 2: give him a hot dog, and so I didn't have

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Speaker 2: to speak, you know, because they kind of learned, Like that's.

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Speaker 1: Kids are kind of sweet. Kids are very.

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Speaker 2: Resilient, and they understand and and and the orphan is

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Speaker 2: they there's a lot of like, you know, you want

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Speaker 2: to get adopted, so you do whatever you can to

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Speaker 2: make yourself look better than the next. But there's also

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Speaker 2: a lot of resilience and like they kind of understand

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Speaker 2: that we're all in this together and we're going to

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Speaker 2: help each other in whatever way.

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Speaker 1: Does that really happen? Yeah, I mean that's that's I'm

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Speaker 1: really honest. Think another kid stepping up is almost saying

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Speaker 1: he's not gonna talk with making him talk, but give

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Speaker 1: them a hot dog and he likes ketchup not mustard,

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Speaker 1: and we're gonna move on from here. It's almost kind

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Speaker 1: of like Big Brother in it a little bit. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I find that sweet in a weird way. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: And then you know, being in first or second grade,

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Speaker 2: I don't even remember what it was, but I remember,

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Speaker 2: you know, having to go to school and like, you know,

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Speaker 2: the teacher, the teacher knew that I didn't talk, you know,

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Speaker 2: but I still had to to write down things. I

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Speaker 2: still had to take tests and things which I could do,

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Speaker 2: but I didn't care about it. I didn't do very good.

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Speaker 2: And so again, just now I'm growing up going nobody

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Speaker 2: cares for me, nobody loves me. At the orphanage, there

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Speaker 2: wasn't Christmas and birthdays like you get, you know when

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Speaker 2: you're with parents and grant.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 2: I didn't get a lot of things. Even in the

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Speaker 2: movie we talk about what do you get, Well, we

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Speaker 2: got underwearing clothes, like things that a kid needs to survive,

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Speaker 2: not things that they, you know, should get because they're

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Speaker 2: a child.

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Speaker 1: I didn't.

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Speaker 2: I didn't get toys. I didn't We shared everything, so

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Speaker 2: if there was a bicycle outside, every kid had a

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Speaker 2: turn on it and it wasn't my turn. So I

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Speaker 2: didn't have a bike. I didn't have toys. I didn't

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Speaker 2: have those things.

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Speaker 1: Did you have hope?

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Speaker 2: No, But I think as a kid, you don't even

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Speaker 2: understand hope.

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Speaker 1: Did you think about all right? When I was in

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Speaker 1: second grade, I lettered in six sports in high school.

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Speaker 1: I don't think I was really good in any of them.

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Speaker 1: All right. My athletic director called me a triathlete because

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Speaker 1: I'd try anything that's awesome. But even in second grade,

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Speaker 1: when we'd been through divorce number two, man, I couldn't

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Speaker 1: wait for baseball practice. That was my outlet. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: loved it. So I had maybe not hope, but things

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Speaker 1: excited me and I had expectations things were there were

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Speaker 1: at least things that I could find to immerse myself

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Speaker 1: in and make me happy. Did you even have that

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Speaker 1: a little bit?

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Speaker 2: Because I started to become friends with some of the

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Speaker 2: other kids, You.

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Speaker 1: Know, would you talk to them quietly? Not really really.

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Speaker 2: No, it was a lot of shrugs and yes and no.

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Speaker 2: There was a little girl there that I would talk to,

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Speaker 2: but very like I wouldn't even say talk to, but just.

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Speaker 1: We were able to communicate her.

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Speaker 2: She was actually the talker. She just talked to her

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Speaker 2: like she would just keep gowing, like you know, well,

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Speaker 2: I's setting you up for marriage.

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Speaker 1: I mean she.

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Speaker 2: She would just talk and talk and talk until I

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Speaker 2: didn't need to talk, and she entertained me. And I think,

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Speaker 2: you know, it's not featured in the movie because it's

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Speaker 2: just too many things, but one of the cool scenes

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Speaker 2: is that wow sad things is that she I remember

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Speaker 2: walking into the office one day thinking I had to

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Speaker 2: go meet a counselor, and I see her in front

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Speaker 2: of two other people to adult.

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Speaker 1: She's cried.

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Speaker 2: She was adopted, she was getting adopted, and she just

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Speaker 2: ran over and she hugged me and she said, I'm

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Speaker 2: so sorry I have to go. And I don't think

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Speaker 2: she even wanted to go, But you know, she was

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Speaker 2: probably also happy that she was getting a family of

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Speaker 2: her own.

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Speaker 1: There's one of the squirrels up a tree. Have you

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Speaker 1: kept up with any anybody from them? No? Do you

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Speaker 1: know that you knew where they were?

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Speaker 2: They don't reveal those names and things. I only ever

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Speaker 2: knew kind of first names. And who knows. Maybe through

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Speaker 2: the movie someone will reach out and say that they're

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Speaker 2: that you're saying to I don't know. In some ways, yes,

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Speaker 2: in some ways, you know, I think of her being happy.

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Speaker 1: I think of her and those kids.

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Speaker 2: Having wonderful lives, and I would hate for them to

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Speaker 2: find me and say, oh, it's been a mess.

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Speaker 1: You know, I'm a drug addict. I'm living on the streets.

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Speaker 2: Who knows where they could be, you know, And so

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Speaker 2: in my mind they're in a good place.

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Speaker 1: Because the unfortunate reality is that's very likely in some

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Speaker 1: of those cases.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and I I do think that the place we

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Speaker 2: stayed really did try to do a good job at that.

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Speaker 2: But the seventies were a hard time. There weren't as

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Speaker 2: many rules and things that they have nowadays with young people.

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Speaker 2: But so then I just remember her leaving me too.

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Speaker 2: I remember her getting in the car and driving away,

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Speaker 2: and that's when I first spoke. I yelled as she went,

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Speaker 2: don't leave me. And everyone just looked at me, like,

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Speaker 2: oh my gosh, he's talking, and I kind of started

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Speaker 2: slowly talking again.

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Speaker 1: But I was just devastated. I mean, it's devastated. The

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Speaker 1: irony that the trauma of leaving your losing your closest

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Speaker 1: frund is what made you speak finally after trauma of

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Speaker 1: losing your family is just twisted, honestly. Yeah, okay, very quickly,

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Speaker 1: in our story, as revelled in cinema, we find you

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Speaker 1: sleeping in a car in high school, clearly homeless, but

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Speaker 1: going to high school acting as if you're just this

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Speaker 1: kid in high school. Somewhere between this orphanage and that point,

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Speaker 1: what's lost there just briefly, yeah, just bounced around from

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Speaker 1: foster parent to foster parent. Do you know how many

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Speaker 1: of you lived in h five or six. I had

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Speaker 1: a football player for me that lived in seventeen foster

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Speaker 1: homes before safteenth birthday. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they always found a reason to say, hey, we

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Speaker 2: just can't have this.

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Speaker 1: Kid anymore and take you back. How angry were you? Angry?

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Speaker 2: I didn't trust adults because at first they love you,

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Speaker 2: but then you find out like they don't really love you,

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Speaker 2: they're not really taking care of you, you know, and

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Speaker 2: later in life you find out that they were getting money,

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Speaker 2: so security money, but I was wearing shoes that were

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Speaker 2: way too tight, like I should have had new shoes,

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Speaker 2: but I didn't. Just all the things that you know,

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Speaker 2: add up, and so you grow up fifteen and sixteen

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Speaker 2: and you're just like, well, especially at like fourteen thirteen,

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Speaker 2: fourteen fifteen, I was angry. I felt that the world

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Speaker 2: owed me. I was I was mad at God. I

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Speaker 2: hated everybody, didn't want to do anything, could care less

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Speaker 2: about school.

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Speaker 1: About life.

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Speaker 2: And I decided, like, I'm going to get a job

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Speaker 2: because back then you could, you know, get written papers

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Speaker 2: so you could work. And so I worked at a

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Speaker 2: Wendy's and at fifteen, I think it was and for

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Speaker 2: a year I saved as much money as I could.

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Speaker 2: I saved every penny that I made. And the day

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Speaker 2: I bought a car, and it was the dumbest car

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Speaker 2: I could have bought. I bought a Camaro in nineteen

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Speaker 2: seventy Camaro.

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Speaker 1: Right, let me tell you something, right in nineteen eighty

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Speaker 1: four or five, I'm doing the math. That's got to

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Speaker 1: be close to my baby three. A Camaro wasn't very dumb.

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Speaker 1: That was that was pretty slick.

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Speaker 2: It was a really cool car, and I felt like

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Speaker 2: it would help my my like because I didn't have

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Speaker 2: a lot of friends, and I thought, well, maybe the

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Speaker 2: girls like it. You know, I'd let my hair grow

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Speaker 2: into them all at all the things. And I actually

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Speaker 2: we were like six inches. So I went from like

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Speaker 2: being this nerdy kid to like, oh my gosh, this

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Speaker 2: guy's cool. He's got a mullet, you know, he's thin.

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Speaker 1: He's in sports.

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Speaker 2: But anyway, I got that car in literally that day,

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Speaker 2: I like signed it, you know, got that car and

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Speaker 2: ran away, packed just very few things into a garbage

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Speaker 2: bag because that's what I had do it in the

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Speaker 2: trunk of the Camaro, and ran away and no one,

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Speaker 2: no one never came looking for me.

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Speaker 1: That's my question. Were you in the same high school

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Speaker 1: after that as you were before that? Did you change

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Speaker 1: high school Snoop, That is not really explained well in

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Speaker 1: the movie. But as I was watching it, I'm thinking,

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Speaker 1: hold it. He didn't run away and changed schools. He

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Speaker 1: ran away and stayed in the same school. How in

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Speaker 1: the hell is somebody not saying something's not right here

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Speaker 1: in these quote to your parents, when you hauled and

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Speaker 1: didn't change school, it wouldn't have been very hard to

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Speaker 1: find you. You're in the same school. Correct. Yeah, they

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Speaker 1: didn't care.

224
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Speaker 2: They didn't come looking for me because they just got

225
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Speaker 2: that Social Security check.

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Speaker 1: Which just reinforced your entire notion that the world's against

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Speaker 1: you and nobody gives it about you. Correct, because they

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Speaker 1: didn't correct in reality. Correct. We'll be right back.

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Speaker 2: And so I'm, you know, trying to stay at friend's house,

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Speaker 2: like I didn't live in my car for two years

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Speaker 2: every night, you know, you know, yeah back then, like

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Speaker 2: you'd go to a friend's house for like four days, yeah,

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Speaker 2: you know, in.

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Speaker 1: The summer or even longer.

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Speaker 2: And then if if a parent started going, hey, you know,

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Speaker 2: let's uh, you know, let's call your mom or let's go.

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Speaker 2: I say, oh no, I'm just gonna ride my bike

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Speaker 2: or whatever over and I'll be fine. And so anytime

239
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Speaker 2: anyone suspicious about anything, I just lied about it and bolted.

240
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Speaker 2: And then I'd stay with another friend. And soon where

241
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Speaker 2: I had been working at the Wendy's was actually pretty

242
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Speaker 2: far from where I was actually kind of going to school,

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Speaker 2: and so I, you know, these camaros got like eight

244
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Speaker 2: miles of the gallon, and so I couldn't afford to

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Speaker 2: get the gas, and I wasn't making enough money at

246
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Speaker 2: Wendy's to kind of pay for the insurance and all

247
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Speaker 2: of those things. And so they Wendy's finally said, hey,

248
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Speaker 2: you're not showing up here. You know, you can't work

249
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Speaker 2: here anymore. You're kind of fired. And so that was

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Speaker 2: kind of the downward true directory from there.

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Speaker 1: Because I have your car, yeah, money, but.

252
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Speaker 2: No money, and I'm trying to go to school. I

253
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Speaker 2: really wanted to go to school because I wanted to

254
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Speaker 2: run track. I actually, you know, before I ran away,

255
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Speaker 2: I was actually pretty good at it, and the track

256
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Speaker 2: coach really was like, you got you gotta run track.

257
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Speaker 2: I mean, you're good, you have a potential to really

258
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Speaker 2: go far, and so I wanted to go to school,

259
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Speaker 2: and so I convinced everybody. I lied to everybody. There

260
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Speaker 2: will be people that will watch this show and go,

261
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Speaker 2: holy crap. I never even knew that about this kid.

262
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Speaker 2: Girlfriends that will say, oh my gosh, we dated for

263
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Speaker 2: like six months. How did I not know this? Because

264
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Speaker 2: that's what I did. I did whatever I needed to

265
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Speaker 2: do to survive. I literally slept in my car and

266
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Speaker 2: fields until the farmers would chase me away and say

267
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Speaker 2: stop coming back here and parking on my field.

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Speaker 1: You know.

269
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Speaker 2: I would find these dark places that nobody cared to look,

270
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Speaker 2: and lied to my coaches. I told my coach that

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Speaker 2: I was so dedicated to running track that I'd love

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Speaker 2: to run every morning at six thirty to seven thirty

273
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Speaker 2: before school started, and he said, well, absolutely you can.

274
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Speaker 2: And that afforded me a shower and in there was

275
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Speaker 2: a washer and dryer that I would use to wash

276
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Speaker 2: my clothes.

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Speaker 1: So nobody knew.

278
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Speaker 2: Nobody knew until like my clothes started getting tattered because

279
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Speaker 2: I couldn't afford new clothes. You know, But I went

280
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Speaker 2: to school. I lied to everybody. I lied to my teachers,

281
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Speaker 2: my friends.

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Speaker 1: Nobody knew. Wow, Yeah, so you're alone, you're broke, you're homeless,

283
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Speaker 1: you're pissed, all of those things. And unfortunately, while your

284
00:14:23,520 --> 00:14:29,680
Speaker 1: story is certainly as traumatic as I've ever heard, those

285
00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:33,440
Speaker 1: stories in terms of kids at that age being in

286
00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:37,400
Speaker 1: that situation are not so uncommon that I hadn't heard

287
00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:40,000
Speaker 1: them before. But I will tell you something that is

288
00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:43,480
Speaker 1: universally true about all of them. Those kids are angry

289
00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:46,800
Speaker 1: and they look for something to get into to make

290
00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:50,880
Speaker 1: them feel better, and it's typically alcohol, drugs, and crap

291
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Speaker 1: they shouldn't be into. Is that your story?

292
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Speaker 2: Yep, that's exactly where I went because sadly, the only

293
00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:01,080
Speaker 2: people that actually care for me were the kids that

294
00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:04,000
Speaker 2: were the bad kids, the ones that were neglected. They

295
00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:05,800
Speaker 2: kind of understood a little bit of what I was

296
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Speaker 2: going through. You know, I didn't have money.

297
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Speaker 1: It is the crew that is also rolling on Friday

298
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Speaker 1: and Saturday night. Yes, Well, because they don't have any

299
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Speaker 1: parents looking over them. If correct, If you're seventeen years

300
00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:20,760
Speaker 1: old and you got all the there's a reason sixteen

301
00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:24,040
Speaker 1: and seventeen year olds have curfews and no freedom. It's

302
00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:26,520
Speaker 1: because they're going to screw everything they touch up. Yeah,

303
00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:28,400
Speaker 1: and that's what I do, don't have it. You're going

304
00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:30,320
Speaker 1: to screw everything you touch up, right.

305
00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:32,040
Speaker 2: And I had a car that need a gas. So

306
00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:34,560
Speaker 2: what do I start doing. I start going to businesses

307
00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:37,520
Speaker 2: and siphoning gas just so I can keep my car going,

308
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:40,080
Speaker 2: you know, because that's how I got to school. That's

309
00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:42,440
Speaker 2: how I tried to get around, tried to get a job,

310
00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:44,200
Speaker 2: try to get you know, try to do the things

311
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Speaker 2: that a kid's supposed to do. But it's hard to

312
00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:48,480
Speaker 2: go to school, run track, and have a job and

313
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Speaker 2: live in your car, like just it's it's nearly impossible,

314
00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:55,000
Speaker 2: you know. And one of the scenes in the movie is,

315
00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:58,680
Speaker 2: you know, I just remember going to this school and

316
00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:03,280
Speaker 2: I had four races to do that day and showing

317
00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:06,440
Speaker 2: up and running. In the movie, we just show one race,

318
00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:08,200
Speaker 2: but I ran four races that day, and I won

319
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Speaker 2: four blue ribbons that day.

320
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Speaker 1: I won all of them easily.

321
00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:14,840
Speaker 2: And in the film, you see me just kind of

322
00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:17,880
Speaker 2: looking and watching all these other kids with their families,

323
00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:19,960
Speaker 2: and they're so proud of them, even though they lost

324
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:22,840
Speaker 2: to me, right, but they're they're proud, and there's no

325
00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:26,360
Speaker 2: one there to say congratulations, Nate. You know, we're so

326
00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:28,920
Speaker 2: proud of you. You know the coaches did, and but

327
00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:31,760
Speaker 2: that's not what you know, a kid looking for love is.

328
00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:34,360
Speaker 2: After you know what your coach to be proud of you,

329
00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:36,200
Speaker 2: but you would also love to have a parent or

330
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Speaker 2: someone that loves you on a daily basis to say, man,

331
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Speaker 2: so proud of you, We're so excited for you.

332
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Speaker 1: You know, my freshman year, we were down six nothing

333
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:48,840
Speaker 1: with minute and a half left, and I'm telling you,

334
00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:51,600
Speaker 1: it was a gully washer. The field was two inches

335
00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:53,640
Speaker 1: of mud. It was raining so hard you could barely

336
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:57,240
Speaker 1: see the coaches on the sideline. I got lucky, somebody

337
00:16:57,240 --> 00:16:59,760
Speaker 1: throw a good block and scored a touchdown, tied it

338
00:16:59,840 --> 00:17:04,119
Speaker 1: up six six. I kicked the next point. We won seven

339
00:17:04,119 --> 00:17:08,439
Speaker 1: to six. Place went crazy nice walking off the field

340
00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:11,480
Speaker 1: after the coach, you know, everybody way to go and

341
00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:15,040
Speaker 1: taking a knee and everything else. And back then, I

342
00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:16,520
Speaker 1: don't even know if kids do it anymore, but you

343
00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:19,000
Speaker 1: would put your helmet inside your shoulder pads, so the

344
00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:20,600
Speaker 1: face mic was coming up through the neck of the

345
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:22,720
Speaker 1: shoulder pads, and that's how you'd carry your gear off.

346
00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:29,359
Speaker 1: And I just remember it did quit raining, but it

347
00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:33,000
Speaker 1: was still a filthy mess. And I just remember all

348
00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:37,640
Speaker 1: these dads carrying their kids gear, walking off with their

349
00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:41,199
Speaker 1: sons on this great comform behind awesome wind, and I

350
00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:46,360
Speaker 1: was alone. Yeah. When I saw that scene in the movie,

351
00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:50,280
Speaker 1: it was the second time I really identified with you,

352
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:54,920
Speaker 1: and I tear it up. And I gotta be honest

353
00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:56,240
Speaker 1: with that. Didn't tear up because of you, A tear

354
00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:58,800
Speaker 1: up because of me. Yeah, yeah, because it was very,

355
00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:08,960
Speaker 1: very real. I don't know if people that haven't experienced

356
00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:12,280
Speaker 1: that can really feel it. I know they can empathize

357
00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:13,960
Speaker 1: with it, yeah, but I don't know if they can

358
00:18:14,119 --> 00:18:19,800
Speaker 1: feel what it feels like to be a stud, which

359
00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:25,720
Speaker 1: you were. Yeah, but and be smiling and everybody patting

360
00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:27,359
Speaker 1: me on the back, and you're trying to put on

361
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:30,600
Speaker 1: this face of yeah, I'm good, But in between your years,

362
00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:34,280
Speaker 1: you're sitting there saying to yourself, why is it that

363
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:38,520
Speaker 1: I lack so much value that not a single person

364
00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:41,520
Speaker 1: wants to stick around in my life long enough to

365
00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:42,880
Speaker 1: invest in me? Right?

366
00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:46,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean that's that's exactly how I felt.

367
00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:51,399
Speaker 1: I hope when people watch the movie don't remember that, yeah,

368
00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:54,720
Speaker 1: because they need to feel that, because when you ask yourself,

369
00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:57,199
Speaker 1: why is this nineteen year old behind bars? Why is

370
00:18:57,200 --> 00:19:00,360
Speaker 1: this eighteen year old acting like an Why are all

371
00:19:00,359 --> 00:19:04,159
Speaker 1: these kids that grow up in these broken homes? You know?

372
00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:07,200
Speaker 1: What is this? How do we quote break the proverbial

373
00:19:07,359 --> 00:19:13,679
Speaker 1: chain and all of that mess Until you understand the

374
00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:20,440
Speaker 1: trauma that children go through that manifests itself in anger,

375
00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:24,439
Speaker 1: I don't think we'll fully understand while we're filling our

376
00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:31,200
Speaker 1: prisons up today. Yeah, which is where you ended up?

377
00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:32,440
Speaker 1: Tell us that?

378
00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:36,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, and so, which I never did, thank god, And

379
00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:39,000
Speaker 2: I didn't really want to. I just got in with

380
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:41,080
Speaker 2: the wrong crowd. We were doing drugs all the time.

381
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:44,240
Speaker 2: It was a way for me to kind of get

382
00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:45,360
Speaker 2: out of my own head.

383
00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:49,400
Speaker 1: Get out of acid. I was back in the eighties.

384
00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:53,560
Speaker 1: It was weird ecstasy, a acid and alcohol yep, yep,

385
00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:55,879
Speaker 1: anything that. So did you check all the boxes pretty

386
00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:56,640
Speaker 1: much a boy?

387
00:19:56,880 --> 00:19:57,120
Speaker 3: Yeah.

388
00:19:57,440 --> 00:20:00,159
Speaker 1: And there was a thing called crank back in the.

389
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,879
Speaker 2: Day, and you oh gosh, I mean it was just

390
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,520
Speaker 2: bad stuff, you know, And and I didn't want to

391
00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:08,000
Speaker 2: do it, but you know, to fit in. You know,

392
00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:09,960
Speaker 2: these guys had a place and they're like.

393
00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:11,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, you can just crash on the couch. So it

394
00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:12,440
Speaker 1: was a nice, warm place.

395
00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:14,439
Speaker 2: So you knew if you fit in you kind of

396
00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:17,000
Speaker 2: had a place. And there was about four of us

397
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:19,439
Speaker 2: that kind of did that, and it was like every weekend,

398
00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:20,280
Speaker 2: that's what we were doing.

399
00:20:20,359 --> 00:20:22,280
Speaker 1: But that's what we got you in jail. No.

400
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:25,200
Speaker 2: And so one day we just were driving around and

401
00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:27,399
Speaker 2: none of us had money, and we all wanted something

402
00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:31,840
Speaker 2: and and so we just saw this little electronic store

403
00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:34,679
Speaker 2: and just saw it. Man, there's some valuable stuff in there.

404
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:36,879
Speaker 2: We could use a VCR, we could get some of

405
00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:39,400
Speaker 2: those movies, we could get some of those things. And

406
00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:43,359
Speaker 2: so we broke the window and ran in and grabbed

407
00:20:43,359 --> 00:20:44,760
Speaker 2: as much as we could, throw it in the trunk

408
00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:47,600
Speaker 2: and took off. And I say this in a weird way,

409
00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:51,639
Speaker 2: but I was thankful that somebody saw it.

410
00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:54,160
Speaker 1: At the time, I was not very thankful, not exactly

411
00:20:54,359 --> 00:20:56,960
Speaker 1: master thieves.

412
00:20:57,240 --> 00:21:00,679
Speaker 2: No, we thought it was a moment's grab it stupid

413
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:02,919
Speaker 2: seventeen year olds, right, eighteen year olds, And.

414
00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:08,000
Speaker 1: It was very loud, you know, it wasn't like you

415
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:11,199
Speaker 1: were sneaking up on anybody. Yeah, we thought we did

416
00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:13,080
Speaker 1: it quick, get away with it, you know.

417
00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:17,359
Speaker 2: But you know, a couple of weeks later, I'm in

418
00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:20,320
Speaker 2: my classroom and it's in the film, you know, with

419
00:21:20,359 --> 00:21:23,760
Speaker 2: my girlfriend developing some film and stuff in photography, and

420
00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:26,840
Speaker 2: all of a sudden, the doors just banged down and

421
00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:30,440
Speaker 2: the lights come on. All the imagery is ruined. Everyone's mad,

422
00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:34,199
Speaker 2: and in walks a couple of police officers, and in

423
00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:38,399
Speaker 2: front of my classmates and my girlfriend, they handcuffed me

424
00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:42,119
Speaker 2: and and said you're under arrest. And I just remember

425
00:21:42,119 --> 00:21:44,880
Speaker 2: looking at my girlfriend and saying, I'm not a bad guy,

426
00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:47,560
Speaker 2: because I didn't believe I was right. I was doing

427
00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:50,560
Speaker 2: bad things, but it was to survive, to be honest

428
00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:53,000
Speaker 2: with you. It wasn't like I was out destroying things

429
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,719
Speaker 2: on purpose, you know, just because I was mad and angry.

430
00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:58,359
Speaker 2: Like there was a purpose to get that stuff because

431
00:21:58,359 --> 00:22:00,600
Speaker 2: I knew I could sell that stuff and some money,

432
00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:04,159
Speaker 2: you know, to survive, to get food, you know. I

433
00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:06,399
Speaker 2: found myself so a lot of time, especially in the

434
00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:09,800
Speaker 2: in the fall, like eating corn, you know, raw corn

435
00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:12,480
Speaker 2: in the morning from a farmer's field, you know, or

436
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:15,200
Speaker 2: tomatoes that I saw on the Like I'd go into

437
00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:17,280
Speaker 2: a grocery store and need as many grapes or something that,

438
00:22:17,359 --> 00:22:19,080
Speaker 2: you know, people kind of just do for fun. But

439
00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:21,080
Speaker 2: I was doing it to live, And so I did

440
00:22:21,119 --> 00:22:23,919
Speaker 2: some bad things and especially when you're on drugs and

441
00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:26,600
Speaker 2: things and alcohol and you're drunk, you just do stupid things.

442
00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:29,440
Speaker 2: And it caught up with me, and in some ways,

443
00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:32,359
Speaker 2: I'm so grateful that it did. But it wasn't easy,

444
00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:35,480
Speaker 2: because it's easy when you look back, but when you're

445
00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:37,960
Speaker 2: going through it, it's like, oh, well, I kind of

446
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:42,080
Speaker 2: deserve where I'm going. And there's an incredible scene in

447
00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:45,600
Speaker 2: the movie where, you know, I go to jail and they,

448
00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:49,560
Speaker 2: you know, make me strip down and take that photo

449
00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:53,680
Speaker 2: of you with the number. And I remember them coming

450
00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:55,280
Speaker 2: in and talking to me and say, well, you know

451
00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:57,920
Speaker 2: you can make a phone call, you know, you get one.

452
00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:00,480
Speaker 2: And it was almost a joke to them, like, you know,

453
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:03,800
Speaker 2: because I kind of think they knew I had no

454
00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:06,320
Speaker 2: one to call. I had no one to call, so

455
00:23:06,359 --> 00:23:09,840
Speaker 2: I didn't make a call that night to anyone. And yeah,

456
00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:13,040
Speaker 2: so then I'm sitting in a jail cell. At the back.

457
00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:18,160
Speaker 2: Then it's a Lancaster County prison which looks like a castle.

458
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:21,280
Speaker 2: For some stupid reason that looks like a castle and

459
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:23,560
Speaker 2: there's a little postcard on the inside that says, wish

460
00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:28,280
Speaker 2: you were here. Like such stupidity in in like a

461
00:23:28,359 --> 00:23:32,680
Speaker 2: jail cell, like, you know, in a jail that isn't

462
00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:34,520
Speaker 2: really about rehabilitating people.

463
00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:37,080
Speaker 1: It's just about getting you in and whatever.

464
00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:39,879
Speaker 2: So anyway, I'm sitting there for a couple of days

465
00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:45,840
Speaker 2: and I'm realizing that I may not be getting out

466
00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:48,040
Speaker 2: of here anytime soon. And I was going to sit

467
00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:49,760
Speaker 2: in there until my court date, which was months and

468
00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:54,359
Speaker 2: months away. And then the security guard or whatever you

469
00:23:54,359 --> 00:23:57,760
Speaker 2: call him, the CEO came over and he's like, you

470
00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:01,120
Speaker 2: have a visitor, And I'm like, I have a visitor.

471
00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:08,320
Speaker 1: What are you talking about? I have a visitor. We

472
00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:23,160
Speaker 1: will be right back. It's a great time to talk

473
00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:28,119
Speaker 1: about the true hero of the story, the hero of

474
00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:31,320
Speaker 1: your life. Really, now I'm putting words in your mouth.

475
00:24:31,359 --> 00:24:33,640
Speaker 1: I shouldn't say that. I think it's here of your life.

476
00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:39,200
Speaker 1: So we're an army of normal folks. That's a show.

477
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:43,199
Speaker 1: We try to produce stuff that's interesting and inspiring and

478
00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:46,840
Speaker 1: in your case, and lots of other cases, obviously compelling,

479
00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:52,439
Speaker 1: tear jerking, raw and real. Alex and his team do

480
00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:55,560
Speaker 1: a great job putting a nice product out every single week.

481
00:24:57,720 --> 00:25:02,520
Speaker 1: But the whole emphasis behind the story is that if

482
00:25:02,520 --> 00:25:06,800
Speaker 1: we're going to change our culture, it's not going to

483
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:10,160
Speaker 1: be fancy people in New York on TV. And it's

484
00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:12,000
Speaker 1: not going to be the people that think they know

485
00:25:12,119 --> 00:25:15,560
Speaker 1: better than everybody else because they happen to get more votes. Right,

486
00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:19,040
Speaker 1: It's just going to be normal folks. An army of

487
00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:19,960
Speaker 1: normal folks.

488
00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:23,040
Speaker 2: That, by the way, an army of normal folks trus us,

489
00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:24,160
Speaker 2: because that's what we are.

490
00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:27,320
Speaker 1: What is the world? What could our world look like

491
00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:31,880
Speaker 1: if we literally had millions of people across our country

492
00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:38,000
Speaker 1: simply normal people, not part of big nngos, not part

493
00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:41,240
Speaker 1: of the government, not part of some massify, but just

494
00:25:41,359 --> 00:25:46,159
Speaker 1: normal people seeing areas of need in their community and

495
00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:50,600
Speaker 1: using their passion for that need and their ability to

496
00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:55,399
Speaker 1: help that need. And instead of saying, man, somebody to

497
00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:58,240
Speaker 1: do something about that, look in themselves in the mirror

498
00:25:58,280 --> 00:25:59,600
Speaker 1: and say, you know what, I'm going to do something

499
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:03,239
Speaker 1: about that. Right. What would our world look like if

500
00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:07,720
Speaker 1: we had millions of those? That is the army of

501
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:10,480
Speaker 1: normal folks. And that's what we talk about on the

502
00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:14,119
Speaker 1: show Alotte time, as all regular listeners, the thousands of

503
00:26:14,119 --> 00:26:16,960
Speaker 1: you out there right now, you're like, yeah, Bill, why

504
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:18,920
Speaker 1: are you saying that? We know that's why we listen

505
00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:24,320
Speaker 1: because your story is compelling as it is, and the

506
00:26:24,359 --> 00:26:26,400
Speaker 1: movie as awesome as is, and I really do want

507
00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:29,600
Speaker 1: you to sell a being tickets And you know, Derek,

508
00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:31,520
Speaker 1: I hope you can return up a bunch of money

509
00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:36,280
Speaker 1: those forty four people that you dragged out of their pockets. Yes,

510
00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:38,879
Speaker 1: but the real reason I was really interested in talking

511
00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:41,440
Speaker 1: to you is because I want to talk about your

512
00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:48,520
Speaker 1: army member who isn't unassuming, kind of goofy want to

513
00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:51,840
Speaker 1: be actor, who didn't make it in California, who came

514
00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:56,800
Speaker 1: back just high school teacher and some little school in

515
00:26:56,880 --> 00:27:07,840
Speaker 1: Pennsylvania named mister Dean, Right, yep, mister Dean, who, in

516
00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:12,200
Speaker 1: my estimation, it's probably the whole reason you're here today.

517
00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:17,200
Speaker 1: He wasn't part of anything. He was just going about

518
00:27:17,240 --> 00:27:19,720
Speaker 1: his daily life and he saw the need, which was

519
00:27:19,840 --> 00:27:25,200
Speaker 1: your life. And to me, that's what the whole movie

520
00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:29,760
Speaker 1: is about. Is the movie of Brave the Dark is

521
00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:33,640
Speaker 1: a beautiful example of what any single one of us

522
00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:35,960
Speaker 1: in this country can do if we just have the

523
00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:42,360
Speaker 1: temerity to step across that line and engage. Yeah. Absolutely so.

524
00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:46,360
Speaker 1: Tell us about the hero of Brave the Dark.

525
00:27:47,119 --> 00:27:50,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, the hero of as you meet him, how to engage.

526
00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:54,560
Speaker 1: I want you to regurgitate this man to us because

527
00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:57,480
Speaker 1: he should be an inspiration to every single person listened

528
00:27:57,480 --> 00:28:01,439
Speaker 1: to us, because all he did was engage. Yes, and

529
00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:02,199
Speaker 1: he was.

530
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:04,399
Speaker 2: This is what I'm excited to talk about. I know,

531
00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:08,040
Speaker 2: I know, I know, right right, you have to get

532
00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:09,200
Speaker 2: through that darkness.

533
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:10,800
Speaker 1: Sometimes to see those likes to get to the redemption.

534
00:28:11,119 --> 00:28:14,880
Speaker 2: Yes, right, But you know he was a teacher at

535
00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:17,879
Speaker 2: Gardenspot High School for thirty five years. Rich right, you know, No,

536
00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:20,400
Speaker 2: no money, Nope, nope, nope, nope.

537
00:28:20,440 --> 00:28:22,560
Speaker 1: No, you don't have to have a bunch of money

538
00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:23,520
Speaker 1: to do something good in the world.

539
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:27,000
Speaker 2: Oh, absolutely not. He did a lot with very little.

540
00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:32,000
Speaker 2: I should probably reword that. Even more, he did tremendous

541
00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:38,480
Speaker 2: amount with nothing. Uh, he did it with himself as

542
00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:41,080
Speaker 2: much as money and anything else.

543
00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:43,400
Speaker 1: Before you engaged with him, did you just think he

544
00:28:43,520 --> 00:28:45,440
Speaker 1: was one of these goofy old teachers.

545
00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:48,680
Speaker 2: Actually, no, it's really interesting. I met him in the

546
00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:51,200
Speaker 2: hallway one day. We were just walking past each other,

547
00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:53,600
Speaker 2: and I think he questioned a little bit of why

548
00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:57,440
Speaker 2: I wasn't in class, but he just said, hey, good morning, Nate.

549
00:28:57,800 --> 00:28:59,680
Speaker 2: He even knew my name. I didn't even really know

550
00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:01,640
Speaker 2: him at that time. It was before I started going

551
00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:03,920
Speaker 2: to class with him. But he even knew of me,

552
00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:06,520
Speaker 2: you know, whether it was because I was in track

553
00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:09,160
Speaker 2: and I was you know, you know, it was in

554
00:29:09,240 --> 00:29:12,840
Speaker 2: the Spartan news you know, newsletter that the school puts out,

555
00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:14,760
Speaker 2: but he knew me and that I thought that was

556
00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:17,840
Speaker 2: very interesting. And in fact, I took his class because

557
00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:18,720
Speaker 2: I heard that he was an.

558
00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:22,480
Speaker 1: Easy a because he never class.

559
00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:27,640
Speaker 2: He taught English and like social communications and those kinds

560
00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:28,040
Speaker 2: of things.

561
00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:29,760
Speaker 1: Speech was a big.

562
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:35,080
Speaker 2: One, but he he really engaged in his students. He

563
00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:38,080
Speaker 2: made you participate in class even if you didn't want to,

564
00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:39,640
Speaker 2: but he didn't do it in a way that made

565
00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:43,880
Speaker 2: you feel shameful or not not good or smart enough,

566
00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:47,800
Speaker 2: like he always encouraged you. And so I took his

567
00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:50,640
Speaker 2: class because I needed an A in something other than

568
00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:53,320
Speaker 2: gym class because I wasn't.

569
00:29:53,120 --> 00:29:53,840
Speaker 1: Doing very well.

570
00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:58,680
Speaker 2: And I very quickly realized like I wanted to listen

571
00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:00,920
Speaker 2: to him when he when he taught.

572
00:30:01,720 --> 00:30:04,120
Speaker 1: Was this great looking guy. Yeah, he was a pretty

573
00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:07,080
Speaker 1: good looking guy. I mean, you know what was his

574
00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:09,200
Speaker 1: draw Just the way he talked.

575
00:30:09,360 --> 00:30:13,640
Speaker 2: He was always positive, always uplifting, always joyful. He would

576
00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:16,560
Speaker 2: always say, why do you guys look like a you know,

577
00:30:16,680 --> 00:30:19,440
Speaker 2: a bunch of zombies sitting in this classroom. You're so young,

578
00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:23,400
Speaker 2: you should have so much energy. And I'm I'm this

579
00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:25,960
Speaker 2: forty one year old guy and a fifty year old guy,

580
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:27,800
Speaker 2: and I have all the energy in the world.

581
00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:28,680
Speaker 1: Come on, kids, And.

582
00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:31,440
Speaker 2: You know he'd get to kind of going, uh, and

583
00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:34,840
Speaker 2: just the way he was very engaging. And you know,

584
00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:37,240
Speaker 2: I can't say that he never gave a kid an F,

585
00:30:37,360 --> 00:30:39,440
Speaker 2: but man, there were times when I should have got

586
00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:42,320
Speaker 2: an F and he would just right on my my thing,

587
00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:44,160
Speaker 2: Hey man, you can do better. I know you can

588
00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:46,520
Speaker 2: do better. Like he didn't yell at me and say, man,

589
00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:48,640
Speaker 2: you know, if you don't get if you don't get

590
00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:50,560
Speaker 2: your grades up, you're gonna fail my class. You know,

591
00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:52,920
Speaker 2: there was never any of that. It was like he

592
00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:57,080
Speaker 2: graded me on my effort, and so he would give

593
00:30:57,120 --> 00:30:59,840
Speaker 2: me a BEE, even though I probably deserve to see

594
00:30:59,840 --> 00:31:01,600
Speaker 2: you a D. But he would give me a B

595
00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:04,920
Speaker 2: because I showed effort. And I think that that's kind

596
00:31:04,920 --> 00:31:06,600
Speaker 2: of lost today a little bit.

597
00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:07,280
Speaker 1: Uh.

598
00:31:07,320 --> 00:31:09,800
Speaker 2: You have to perform a certain amount of numbers, and

599
00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:11,760
Speaker 2: there were there were times when I think a lot

600
00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:14,800
Speaker 2: of kids got that. Uh, he said, I just want

601
00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:18,000
Speaker 2: you to show effort, Nate to show effort. And so

602
00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:21,360
Speaker 2: this was before we really connected. And then I just

603
00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:25,360
Speaker 2: what when we really bonded. The beginning of our friendship

604
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:31,000
Speaker 2: was I hadn't eaten for three days. It was cold, Uh,

605
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:33,400
Speaker 2: you know, the the fields were dry in an art

606
00:31:33,440 --> 00:31:36,600
Speaker 2: list and no one knows this, you know, And I

607
00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:40,040
Speaker 2: walk into the class into school early. I didn't have

608
00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:42,880
Speaker 2: a lot of energy to run track that morning, just

609
00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:45,480
Speaker 2: because I hadn't eaten literally in three days. There's a

610
00:31:45,640 --> 00:31:47,600
Speaker 2: there was always this candy machine, you.

611
00:31:47,520 --> 00:31:49,400
Speaker 1: Know, I remember seeing that. I'm sorry I got to

612
00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:53,080
Speaker 1: interrupt you. What about lunch school lunch? Nope?

613
00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:56,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, you had to You had to sign up for

614
00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:58,800
Speaker 2: a free lunch, which means that your guardians had to

615
00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:00,840
Speaker 2: approve it. And if I did that, I would have

616
00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:01,440
Speaker 2: been in trouble.

617
00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:04,200
Speaker 1: So you had you could get the free launch if

618
00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:07,240
Speaker 1: your guardian signed it. Otherwise you just brought your lunch. Correct.

619
00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:09,400
Speaker 1: You had nothing to bring and we had no guardian

620
00:32:09,440 --> 00:32:12,560
Speaker 1: to sign correct. So the system didn't fit the guy

621
00:32:12,640 --> 00:32:15,160
Speaker 1: sleeping in his car going to school correct.

622
00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:18,560
Speaker 2: Okay, And if anyone found out, where do you think

623
00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:19,480
Speaker 2: I would have gone.

624
00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:21,719
Speaker 1: Back to the system. Yeah, and I would rather have

625
00:32:21,760 --> 00:32:25,120
Speaker 1: your freedom and starving than that, correct, which I want

626
00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:27,240
Speaker 1: to tell you how about that and must have.

627
00:32:27,200 --> 00:32:29,280
Speaker 2: Been you know, I became the guy that was always like, hey,

628
00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:30,840
Speaker 2: you gonna eat that, Hey a, you're going to eat that?

629
00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:31,320
Speaker 1: Like that.

630
00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:33,880
Speaker 2: I would literally go around to people's you know, and

631
00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:36,920
Speaker 2: so then people started like avoiding me and whatnot. And

632
00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:40,160
Speaker 2: some people were just generous, like you know, for for whatever.

633
00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:42,200
Speaker 1: But so I hadn't eaten.

634
00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:44,760
Speaker 2: There's this vending machine and I'm banging on it trying

635
00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:46,760
Speaker 2: to get something to fall. I'd checked to see if

636
00:32:46,760 --> 00:32:49,160
Speaker 2: there's any money in there kind of thing. Uh, and

637
00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:52,000
Speaker 2: nothing happened. And he just happened to be walking into

638
00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:54,560
Speaker 2: his classroom and he saw me. He didn't yell at me,

639
00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:58,360
Speaker 2: he didn't, you know, say hey, stop doing that or anything.

640
00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:00,239
Speaker 2: He just kind of went back into his class room.

641
00:33:00,320 --> 00:33:02,720
Speaker 2: And I decided, you know what, I'm really tired.

642
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:03,479
Speaker 1: I just want to sit down.

643
00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:05,480
Speaker 2: I'm going to go into I saw him go in there,

644
00:33:05,520 --> 00:33:07,440
Speaker 2: and you know, I got twenty minutes. I'm just gonna

645
00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:09,800
Speaker 2: sit in my classroom, put my head down and kind

646
00:33:09,800 --> 00:33:10,360
Speaker 2: of take a nap.

647
00:33:11,480 --> 00:33:13,760
Speaker 1: And I walk in and.

648
00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:16,640
Speaker 2: He's like, good morning, Nate, and he's all chipper and

649
00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:18,040
Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, good morning, mister Dan.

650
00:33:19,560 --> 00:33:21,080
Speaker 1: Last thing I needed, you know.

651
00:33:22,360 --> 00:33:24,200
Speaker 2: And so I sit down at my desk and I'm

652
00:33:24,280 --> 00:33:25,880
Speaker 2: just about ready to put my head down just kind

653
00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:27,800
Speaker 2: of wait for the rest of the kids to come,

654
00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:31,280
Speaker 2: and you know, he comes marching over to my desk

655
00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:33,160
Speaker 2: and he's all happy, and I was like, what is

656
00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:37,320
Speaker 2: going on? And he says to me, on behalf of

657
00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:41,960
Speaker 2: the Spartan Social Committee, which there is none, I award

658
00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:46,240
Speaker 2: you this giant Hershey's bar. And I mean it was

659
00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:50,120
Speaker 2: a big, like the King's size Hershey bar. And I

660
00:33:50,160 --> 00:33:53,640
Speaker 2: was like, really, like, what is going on here? And

661
00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:56,840
Speaker 2: because I thought it was some sort of award thing,

662
00:33:57,200 --> 00:33:58,400
Speaker 2: I took that candy bar.

663
00:33:58,800 --> 00:33:58,960
Speaker 1: Right.

664
00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:00,520
Speaker 2: If you would have just said here, here, here's a

665
00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:03,640
Speaker 2: candy bar, I probably wouldn't have taken it. But and

666
00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:06,200
Speaker 2: he kind of knew that. He's like, he probably like

667
00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:07,959
Speaker 2: if I if I offer it to him as like

668
00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:12,360
Speaker 2: an award, you won this, you know, you know, so

669
00:34:12,920 --> 00:34:14,160
Speaker 2: he kind of felt like he had to do that,

670
00:34:14,200 --> 00:34:17,040
Speaker 2: which is kind of funny and quirky. And I took

671
00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:18,719
Speaker 2: that candy bar, and can I say it was the

672
00:34:18,760 --> 00:34:25,200
Speaker 2: best Hershey chocolate bar ever ever, and I still eat

673
00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:28,759
Speaker 2: them almost every day. I love him, Like I I

674
00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:30,400
Speaker 2: didn't bring my bag, but I have five of them

675
00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:33,160
Speaker 2: in there, Like I'm not kidding, Like I I have

676
00:34:33,239 --> 00:34:34,560
Speaker 2: stock in her she Like they're.

677
00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:36,480
Speaker 1: Just like so so incredible.

678
00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:41,520
Speaker 2: So that was kind of like I call it. And

679
00:34:41,560 --> 00:34:44,960
Speaker 2: then you know, he just sat back down and you

680
00:34:44,960 --> 00:34:46,520
Speaker 2: know the rest of the class came in and we

681
00:34:46,560 --> 00:34:49,040
Speaker 2: started class, and I ate that chocolate bar, I think

682
00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:52,600
Speaker 2: before class even started, like the whole thing. But I

683
00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:54,520
Speaker 2: I call that the kind of the planning of seed

684
00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:57,160
Speaker 2: of hope in my life. I didn't know it then.

685
00:34:57,440 --> 00:35:00,200
Speaker 2: I don't even think he knew what that meant. But

686
00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:03,840
Speaker 2: that small act of kindness right that back then it

687
00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:06,640
Speaker 2: was like a dollar candy bar that he gave up

688
00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:10,080
Speaker 2: because he would have probably eaten it later that day himself,

689
00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:13,560
Speaker 2: but him giving me that was that that mark of

690
00:35:13,840 --> 00:35:16,600
Speaker 2: the beginning of hope in my life. And that's incredible.

691
00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:33,560
Speaker 1: We'll be right back. So you get called in jail

692
00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:37,880
Speaker 1: to the visitor. Yeah, and I would imagine maybe you're thinking,

693
00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:40,279
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, that's the system. Know what's up? What's

694
00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:43,600
Speaker 1: going on? You're thinking, what Jack am I going to

695
00:35:43,640 --> 00:35:44,800
Speaker 1: have to talk to at this point.

696
00:35:45,120 --> 00:35:47,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, we don't even portray that in this part in

697
00:35:47,560 --> 00:35:49,799
Speaker 2: the film, because what actually happens. They came and said,

698
00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:52,520
Speaker 2: you need to go. There's a visitor for you. And

699
00:35:52,520 --> 00:35:54,799
Speaker 2: that's exactly what I was thinking, And I said, I

700
00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:56,400
Speaker 2: don't want to. I'm not gonna.

701
00:35:56,680 --> 00:35:59,600
Speaker 1: I bet it's not trade the movie. I'm just saying

702
00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:02,640
Speaker 1: psych he wise, I would think you'd be like I

703
00:36:02,680 --> 00:36:05,120
Speaker 1: had nobody to call, right, Like, there's no one good

704
00:36:05,160 --> 00:36:08,880
Speaker 1: going to There's nothing is going to come good for this.

705
00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:12,239
Speaker 2: I's maybe a lawyer, but I'm not affording a lawyer, right.

706
00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:15,480
Speaker 2: So I actually said no, I'm not going. And the guy,

707
00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:18,600
Speaker 2: like the guard turned around and started walking away, and

708
00:36:18,640 --> 00:36:21,600
Speaker 2: my bunk me like kicked me, like literally kicked my bed.

709
00:36:21,640 --> 00:36:23,640
Speaker 2: And he's like, dude, you can get out of the

710
00:36:23,719 --> 00:36:25,200
Speaker 2: cell for like an a half an hour.

711
00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:25,880
Speaker 3: Just do it.

712
00:36:26,440 --> 00:36:27,840
Speaker 2: I don't care if it's a lawyer, I don't care

713
00:36:27,880 --> 00:36:28,319
Speaker 2: who it is.

714
00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:31,040
Speaker 1: Just go do it. And so I did. I was like, Yo,

715
00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:33,279
Speaker 1: I'm good, let's go. Let me get and let me go.

716
00:36:33,480 --> 00:36:37,040
Speaker 2: And you know it's that classic you know I had.

717
00:36:37,239 --> 00:36:38,200
Speaker 2: I had just turned eighteen.

718
00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:43,280
Speaker 1: Oh gosh, so you're yeah, even though you're in high school. Yeah,

719
00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:46,320
Speaker 1: you're an adult according to the law at this point. Yes,

720
00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:48,000
Speaker 1: all right, so you got out of the hallwaii you

721
00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:52,319
Speaker 1: popped down? Yeah, there's and here's goofball candy barn teacher guy. Yeah,

722
00:36:52,520 --> 00:36:54,400
Speaker 1: you know, across the plexiglass with the phone.

723
00:36:54,440 --> 00:36:56,480
Speaker 2: And it was almost a joke because he didn't understand

724
00:36:56,520 --> 00:36:57,440
Speaker 2: how it all worked.

725
00:36:57,600 --> 00:36:58,520
Speaker 1: And we don't really get.

726
00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:00,239
Speaker 2: Into that in the film because it's just I don't

727
00:37:00,280 --> 00:37:03,440
Speaker 2: need it. But you know, we're finally connected.

728
00:37:03,480 --> 00:37:04,759
Speaker 1: And I'm like, are.

729
00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:07,120
Speaker 2: You here to yell at me, mister Deane, because that's

730
00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:08,920
Speaker 2: what I thought he was gonna do, Like what else

731
00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:13,319
Speaker 2: should what I expect? And he's like, no, no, I'm

732
00:37:13,360 --> 00:37:16,440
Speaker 2: here to help you. Like you don't, you don't, you

733
00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:19,880
Speaker 2: don't deserve to be here. Like he knew that I

734
00:37:19,960 --> 00:37:22,040
Speaker 2: wasn't a bad kid, that there's something going on, and

735
00:37:22,080 --> 00:37:23,799
Speaker 2: he wanted to get to the bottom of it, and

736
00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:26,120
Speaker 2: so I gave him just enough information to get help.

737
00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:29,839
Speaker 2: I told him where my grandmother used to live when

738
00:37:29,880 --> 00:37:31,960
Speaker 2: I was younger, and he reached out to them and

739
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:33,439
Speaker 2: I was able to get me out.

740
00:37:34,400 --> 00:37:43,120
Speaker 1: So not your grandparents, but your teacher. Yeah, normal dude

741
00:37:43,440 --> 00:37:47,319
Speaker 1: showed up, got you out. Your grandparents supposed to bail

742
00:37:47,600 --> 00:37:50,600
Speaker 1: and came and got you. Yep. That had to have

743
00:37:50,600 --> 00:37:53,040
Speaker 1: been weird too, because it's the same people that dropped

744
00:37:53,040 --> 00:37:55,920
Speaker 1: you off fifteen years ago. Yeah, who said it's not

745
00:37:55,960 --> 00:38:02,279
Speaker 1: your fault? Good luck, right right? And now you're with them. Yeah.

746
00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:06,640
Speaker 1: I was watching the movie thinking what is going on

747
00:38:06,719 --> 00:38:12,200
Speaker 1: between his ears? I mean, and the movie can't tell

748
00:38:12,280 --> 00:38:17,080
Speaker 1: us that, but you had to be uncomfortable at the

749
00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:19,920
Speaker 1: very least, but all the way up to just like,

750
00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:25,520
Speaker 1: maybe you are my grandparents about blood, but I just

751
00:38:25,560 --> 00:38:29,480
Speaker 1: don't even want to be around you people either. Yeah. Well,

752
00:38:29,840 --> 00:38:32,080
Speaker 1: I I don't know. I'm just curious. I was thankful

753
00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:34,640
Speaker 1: to be out of prison, so that was nice. I

754
00:38:34,719 --> 00:38:36,240
Speaker 1: get that. And with some.

755
00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:39,360
Speaker 2: Family members that I kind of remembered, I didn't really

756
00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:40,640
Speaker 2: remember them very well.

757
00:38:40,800 --> 00:38:41,279
Speaker 1: I get it.

758
00:38:42,880 --> 00:38:45,680
Speaker 2: You know, they had aged much more. It had been

759
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:48,239
Speaker 2: fifteen years or so that I had seen them, so,

760
00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:49,000
Speaker 2: you know.

761
00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:50,960
Speaker 1: But they were also in denial about the truth of

762
00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:56,080
Speaker 1: their daughter's death. Yeah. I mean, the whole thing just

763
00:38:56,120 --> 00:39:01,000
Speaker 1: feels like you're entering trauma.

764
00:39:01,239 --> 00:39:04,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, frankly, Yeah, And basically that's what I had to do.

765
00:39:05,080 --> 00:39:10,000
Speaker 2: I had to basically work for him, my grandfather, to

766
00:39:11,280 --> 00:39:14,680
Speaker 2: pay back that bail. So I didn't physically give them money,

767
00:39:14,680 --> 00:39:17,160
Speaker 2: but I worked for it. I helped them clean things,

768
00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:18,760
Speaker 2: I helped them you know, did.

769
00:39:18,760 --> 00:39:22,640
Speaker 1: So your grandparents have made you pay off? Yeah? Through labor.

770
00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:28,439
Speaker 1: You know, I get it. But listen, man, again, I'm

771
00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:32,040
Speaker 1: not trying to rail but I've been through a bunch

772
00:39:32,080 --> 00:39:37,040
Speaker 1: of it too. And I'm just telling you. Maybe it's

773
00:39:37,080 --> 00:39:41,560
Speaker 1: not even meant to be part of the storyline, and

774
00:39:41,640 --> 00:39:44,959
Speaker 1: maybe it's just because of my perspective, but I'm sitting

775
00:39:45,040 --> 00:39:51,359
Speaker 1: there watching you earn back your bail, being told you're

776
00:39:51,400 --> 00:39:53,840
Speaker 1: not going back to school. Who cares if you graduate?

777
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:58,080
Speaker 1: Most important thing here is you work to pay us

778
00:39:58,120 --> 00:40:02,840
Speaker 1: back for the bail. And I'm thinking this is your grandson.

779
00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:08,759
Speaker 1: I mean it, honestly, scene pissed me off. Yeah, and

780
00:40:08,800 --> 00:40:10,759
Speaker 1: I'm not sure if many people will get that, but

781
00:40:10,880 --> 00:40:13,799
Speaker 1: I did. That's what I got from it. I mean, so,

782
00:40:13,840 --> 00:40:16,120
Speaker 1: I'm just curious. I wanted to know how you felt.

783
00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:23,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was still lost and going Why am I

784
00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:26,240
Speaker 2: back with these people that gave me up earlier?

785
00:40:26,440 --> 00:40:26,640
Speaker 1: Yeah?

786
00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:31,160
Speaker 2: That's and so thankfully Stan comes and visits again and says,

787
00:40:31,200 --> 00:40:33,239
Speaker 2: you need to get back in school. Mister Dean, say,

788
00:40:33,480 --> 00:40:35,720
Speaker 2: mister Dean, Yeah, he comes, which is crazy.

789
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:39,440
Speaker 1: Now he tracks you down at the grandparents' house because

790
00:40:39,480 --> 00:40:42,640
Speaker 1: you're not back in school, correct, And he's thinking, I

791
00:40:42,680 --> 00:40:45,560
Speaker 1: got the kid out of jail, why isn't he back

792
00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:48,640
Speaker 1: in school? So now he searches you out a second time,

793
00:40:49,760 --> 00:40:54,880
Speaker 1: and a second time. This man searches for you, correct

794
00:40:55,000 --> 00:41:01,680
Speaker 1: and didn't need to see there's this overriding subtext theme

795
00:41:03,719 --> 00:41:10,720
Speaker 1: to me about somebody who loves you unconditionally, always searching

796
00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:19,280
Speaker 1: for you. Yes, in a much more magnanimous vision of that, Yeah, yeah,

797
00:41:19,400 --> 00:41:23,600
Speaker 1: I mean to me, that's mean Christ like absolutely yeah.

798
00:41:23,600 --> 00:41:24,200
Speaker 1: He lived it.

799
00:41:24,640 --> 00:41:26,840
Speaker 2: He lived it, and for him to show up again

800
00:41:28,040 --> 00:41:29,919
Speaker 2: and I didn't go with him at that moment because

801
00:41:29,920 --> 00:41:31,560
Speaker 2: I didn't know what to do.

802
00:41:31,960 --> 00:41:32,799
Speaker 1: But he left me his.

803
00:41:32,760 --> 00:41:35,120
Speaker 2: Phone number, his home phone number, and said if you

804
00:41:35,200 --> 00:41:39,359
Speaker 2: need something, anything, just call me. And it wasn't long

805
00:41:39,400 --> 00:41:45,160
Speaker 2: after that that I decided, Man, if I stay in

806
00:41:45,160 --> 00:41:48,240
Speaker 2: this situation, I may not get to be the person

807
00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:49,080
Speaker 2: I think I can be.

808
00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:52,600
Speaker 1: I want to go back to school. As hard as

809
00:41:52,680 --> 00:41:53,239
Speaker 1: I knew it.

810
00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:56,319
Speaker 2: Was going to be, I wanted to run track. I

811
00:41:56,360 --> 00:41:58,239
Speaker 2: wanted to finish out the season. I wanted to do

812
00:41:58,320 --> 00:42:01,200
Speaker 2: all of those things. And I just remember like that

813
00:42:01,360 --> 00:42:03,279
Speaker 2: was kind of the deciding moment in my life that

814
00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:06,560
Speaker 2: I said I needed to change too, that I.

815
00:42:06,480 --> 00:42:07,960
Speaker 1: Was going to try to do better.

816
00:42:08,719 --> 00:42:11,600
Speaker 2: And so I picked up the phone and I called,

817
00:42:11,640 --> 00:42:14,320
Speaker 2: and it rang and it rang and it rang, and thankfully,

818
00:42:15,239 --> 00:42:17,879
Speaker 2: you know, it went to a voicemail, and I left

819
00:42:17,920 --> 00:42:20,320
Speaker 2: the message for him and I just said, this is

820
00:42:20,400 --> 00:42:28,920
Speaker 2: Nate and I could use your help. And it was

821
00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:32,360
Speaker 2: like two days later, like that weekend, he came. I

822
00:42:32,360 --> 00:42:34,279
Speaker 2: mean it might have been the next day, I don't know,

823
00:42:34,320 --> 00:42:36,560
Speaker 2: but it was very soon, very quickly took you to

824
00:42:36,640 --> 00:42:40,640
Speaker 2: his home. He came and said, hey, let's would you

825
00:42:40,719 --> 00:42:42,680
Speaker 2: guys mind if I get him back in school. And they,

826
00:42:42,800 --> 00:42:45,480
Speaker 2: you know, my grandparents were like, well, you know, he's

827
00:42:45,520 --> 00:42:47,640
Speaker 2: going to have to go go closer to the school.

828
00:42:47,680 --> 00:42:48,560
Speaker 1: We're too far away.

829
00:42:49,120 --> 00:42:50,520
Speaker 2: And he said, well, what if he stays with me,

830
00:42:50,880 --> 00:42:53,719
Speaker 2: you know, this weekend, and we'll find somewhere that he

831
00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:57,040
Speaker 2: can stay. We'll get him, we'll get him back in school.

832
00:42:57,120 --> 00:43:00,000
Speaker 2: And they said okay, And so I packed my stuff

833
00:43:00,160 --> 00:43:05,280
Speaker 2: up and he shows up and left again. And yeah,

834
00:43:05,360 --> 00:43:08,400
Speaker 2: so jumped in his car, and that that really started

835
00:43:08,440 --> 00:43:11,160
Speaker 2: the change.

836
00:43:13,920 --> 00:43:16,520
Speaker 1: So it was going to be the couch ended up

837
00:43:16,520 --> 00:43:21,960
Speaker 1: more permanent. I don't want to ruin a hole that

838
00:43:22,080 --> 00:43:24,160
Speaker 1: was in his life that I think you filled. I

839
00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:27,279
Speaker 1: think the movie. Let's not spoil that for the Yeah,

840
00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:30,920
Speaker 1: for the viewers. But there was a time that he

841
00:43:31,120 --> 00:43:35,440
Speaker 1: left to go out of town for something. Yes, and

842
00:43:36,320 --> 00:43:41,120
Speaker 1: you acted like an idiot. Thank you. Sure I've done

843
00:43:41,120 --> 00:43:42,480
Speaker 1: it too, he listen.

844
00:43:42,600 --> 00:43:45,320
Speaker 2: Listen to young kids. Will, we'll do some stupid things.

845
00:43:45,440 --> 00:43:47,719
Speaker 2: And I didn't intend it to be a stupid night,

846
00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:48,439
Speaker 2: like I just.

847
00:43:48,480 --> 00:43:53,839
Speaker 1: It never starts. I needed a couple of drinks, save

848
00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:58,200
Speaker 1: a snowball, as they do. My daughter called Lisa and

849
00:43:58,280 --> 00:44:03,600
Speaker 1: I she was seventeen. We have four Yeah, of course

850
00:44:03,680 --> 00:44:07,480
Speaker 1: is Smiley. Who else would it do? And said, Dad?

851
00:44:07,960 --> 00:44:11,239
Speaker 1: You know for my birthday on this weekend, do you

852
00:44:11,360 --> 00:44:13,200
Speaker 1: mind we had a pool? Do you mind if I

853
00:44:13,280 --> 00:44:16,880
Speaker 1: have four or five friends on us? Said Molly, five

854
00:44:17,840 --> 00:44:24,600
Speaker 1: five equals six, simply no more. Period. My son Will

855
00:44:24,680 --> 00:44:29,000
Speaker 1: calls me at two thirty in the morning, having chased

856
00:44:29,040 --> 00:44:38,040
Speaker 1: off ninety people and most of our wine glasses were gone.

857
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:43,520
Speaker 1: Stuff was broke all over the place and Molly let

858
00:44:43,560 --> 00:44:45,640
Speaker 1: it get out of control because the nine fifteen she

859
00:44:45,760 --> 00:44:52,200
Speaker 1: passed out and people just kept showing up. Yeah, so

860
00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:55,080
Speaker 1: we got out of Say you acted like an idiot.

861
00:44:55,320 --> 00:44:59,040
Speaker 1: Please understand. I say it with as much affection as possible.

862
00:44:59,160 --> 00:45:01,640
Speaker 1: And I still we'll have a little tick when I

863
00:45:01,680 --> 00:45:02,200
Speaker 1: think about it.

864
00:45:02,360 --> 00:45:04,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, you may not want to ever introduce her and

865
00:45:04,760 --> 00:45:06,440
Speaker 2: I to get Yeah.

866
00:45:06,960 --> 00:45:10,520
Speaker 1: So the point is you did basically the same thing.

867
00:45:10,719 --> 00:45:13,120
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, I had a party at his house. It

868
00:45:13,160 --> 00:45:16,040
Speaker 2: got way out of control. People were bringing kegs of

869
00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:17,040
Speaker 2: beer over.

870
00:45:18,520 --> 00:45:22,719
Speaker 1: The one guy who cared about you's house, and your

871
00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:28,000
Speaker 1: to him is let's knock it out. Yeah.

872
00:45:28,120 --> 00:45:29,960
Speaker 2: I thought, you know, I can get rid of the

873
00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:32,360
Speaker 2: beer bottles. There's a cant out back, you know, no

874
00:45:32,520 --> 00:45:35,319
Speaker 2: big deal. And then one of those kegs blew up,

875
00:45:35,360 --> 00:45:37,560
Speaker 2: literally like the top, the top blue off and.

876
00:45:37,560 --> 00:45:40,799
Speaker 1: It just started to spring all over the room.

877
00:45:41,239 --> 00:45:41,920
Speaker 3: How hide that?

878
00:45:42,480 --> 00:45:45,879
Speaker 2: And so I literally got really mad and I kicked

879
00:45:45,920 --> 00:45:47,840
Speaker 2: everyone out, and they were mad at me, but I'm like,

880
00:45:47,920 --> 00:45:49,920
Speaker 2: get out, everyone, get out, just get out. And I

881
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:53,359
Speaker 2: literally kicked everyone out, and then I spent like two

882
00:45:53,480 --> 00:45:57,680
Speaker 2: hours not even making a dent in the cigarette butts

883
00:45:57,719 --> 00:46:01,320
Speaker 2: that were all over the outside, back porch, front porch,

884
00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:02,920
Speaker 2: side port, like all like.

885
00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:04,000
Speaker 1: It was just awful.

886
00:46:04,320 --> 00:46:10,120
Speaker 2: Broken bottles everywhere, beer everywhere, drugs everywhere, people.

887
00:46:09,960 --> 00:46:12,040
Speaker 1: On you know, just it was awful.

888
00:46:12,880 --> 00:46:15,959
Speaker 2: And I remember coming up from the downstairs and Stan

889
00:46:16,080 --> 00:46:19,439
Speaker 2: had walked in and I'm holding a bag and beer

890
00:46:19,480 --> 00:46:21,719
Speaker 2: bottles and all this stuff, and I'm like, San, let

891
00:46:21,760 --> 00:46:23,799
Speaker 2: me explain. It wasn't a big deal. It was just

892
00:46:24,040 --> 00:46:27,120
Speaker 2: you know, and He's like, the stop to stop. I

893
00:46:27,320 --> 00:46:30,480
Speaker 2: can't even look at you right now. I'm so disappointed

894
00:46:30,520 --> 00:46:33,479
Speaker 2: in you. And for me to hear that from him

895
00:46:34,400 --> 00:46:35,319
Speaker 2: was devastating.

896
00:46:35,840 --> 00:46:39,879
Speaker 1: It was absolutely interesting. Oh yeah, you're a fifty six

897
00:46:39,960 --> 00:46:41,640
Speaker 1: year old dude, and it still hurts you.

898
00:46:41,719 --> 00:46:43,520
Speaker 2: It hurt That's one of the hardest scenes for me

899
00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:43,919
Speaker 2: to watch.

900
00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:46,399
Speaker 1: I wish people could see your face when you said that.

901
00:46:46,719 --> 00:46:48,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's one of the hardest scenes to watch because

902
00:46:48,800 --> 00:46:51,920
Speaker 2: I had so disappointed the one person in my life

903
00:46:51,960 --> 00:46:56,759
Speaker 2: that was going to help me and I I and

904
00:46:56,800 --> 00:46:58,879
Speaker 2: then for him to say, you know, and he had

905
00:46:58,920 --> 00:47:02,160
Speaker 2: every right to every right to say, listen, I can't

906
00:47:02,160 --> 00:47:06,840
Speaker 2: even look at you right now. I'm so disappointed. And

907
00:47:06,920 --> 00:47:09,319
Speaker 2: to me, having heard that from so many foster parents,

908
00:47:09,360 --> 00:47:12,279
Speaker 2: from so many people. I thought he was done with me.

909
00:47:12,360 --> 00:47:14,320
Speaker 1: That's a green light. Yeah, I thought he was done.

910
00:47:14,520 --> 00:47:17,600
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm out, And now I'm like, man, I

911
00:47:17,680 --> 00:47:20,520
Speaker 2: just threw my life away, and so what do I do?

912
00:47:21,040 --> 00:47:23,680
Speaker 2: I resort to running going back to my old self,

913
00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:27,799
Speaker 2: going back to that party where everybody left goes to

914
00:47:28,440 --> 00:47:31,839
Speaker 2: you know, Johnny's house, and they're doing drugs and all

915
00:47:31,880 --> 00:47:33,880
Speaker 2: sorts of wonderful things that I thought were going to

916
00:47:34,040 --> 00:47:37,000
Speaker 2: just help drown it all out. And I took way

917
00:47:37,040 --> 00:47:39,680
Speaker 2: more drugs than I had ever taken before. I drank

918
00:47:39,719 --> 00:47:43,560
Speaker 2: way too much alcohol, and yeah, that scene gets pretty

919
00:47:43,719 --> 00:47:47,960
Speaker 2: pretty heavy, pretty hard. A lot of amazing flashbacks in

920
00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:52,480
Speaker 2: that scene that take you back, and I kind of

921
00:47:52,960 --> 00:47:55,359
Speaker 2: a kind of almost put in the same positions as

922
00:47:55,400 --> 00:47:57,719
Speaker 2: my dad. You know, I see my best friend and

923
00:47:57,800 --> 00:48:02,120
Speaker 2: my ex girlfriend, you know, together, and I'm not liking

924
00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:04,920
Speaker 2: it because he kept saying that they weren't together, and

925
00:48:04,960 --> 00:48:08,279
Speaker 2: all of this stuff, and just the music in that

926
00:48:08,360 --> 00:48:12,480
Speaker 2: moment is so amazing and so beautiful, and and thankfully

927
00:48:12,480 --> 00:48:14,319
Speaker 2: I made the choice and just turn and leave the

928
00:48:14,640 --> 00:48:20,040
Speaker 2: leave which leads to the bridge scene.

929
00:48:20,280 --> 00:48:26,840
Speaker 1: So you did call and he said very something simple

930
00:48:26,880 --> 00:48:29,200
Speaker 1: to you, which was Nate, come home, Yes, come home.

931
00:48:30,120 --> 00:48:32,359
Speaker 1: The thing I found interesting about that is he called

932
00:48:32,400 --> 00:48:38,040
Speaker 1: his house your home. Yes, Nate, come home, not come

933
00:48:38,080 --> 00:48:41,120
Speaker 1: to the house, not come see me, not you can

934
00:48:41,160 --> 00:48:43,759
Speaker 1: come back, but come home. Yeah.

935
00:48:45,080 --> 00:48:50,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, he really made his home my home. He opened

936
00:48:50,960 --> 00:48:54,759
Speaker 2: it up. I always say that I was the son

937
00:48:54,800 --> 00:48:57,520
Speaker 2: that he never had, but man, he was.

938
00:48:57,640 --> 00:49:03,960
Speaker 1: He was the father I so desperately needed. We'll be

939
00:49:04,080 --> 00:49:14,200
Speaker 1: right back. I'm going to read something. I don't know

940
00:49:14,239 --> 00:49:17,720
Speaker 1: where this came from. That's from Alex, but it's your words.

941
00:49:18,920 --> 00:49:21,719
Speaker 1: I went home to ask him for forgiveness. It was

942
00:49:21,800 --> 00:49:25,040
Speaker 1: my prodigal son moment. And yes, Stan was standing there

943
00:49:25,080 --> 00:49:28,480
Speaker 1: waiting with open arms to welcome me home, to welcome

944
00:49:28,560 --> 00:49:33,360
Speaker 1: me home again. Those are the words you use. He

945
00:49:33,480 --> 00:49:35,239
Speaker 1: told me that I need to decide if I really

946
00:49:35,280 --> 00:49:37,640
Speaker 1: want to change my life or did I still want

947
00:49:37,680 --> 00:49:41,160
Speaker 1: to blame my past. The world's not going to give

948
00:49:41,200 --> 00:49:45,200
Speaker 1: you anything, Nate. You gotta fight for it. My freshman

949
00:49:45,280 --> 00:49:48,040
Speaker 1: year in high school, I got in a fight. I

950
00:49:48,160 --> 00:49:52,880
Speaker 1: was pissed, not at the person I got in a

951
00:49:52,920 --> 00:49:56,040
Speaker 1: fight with. And back in those days, you guys will

952
00:49:56,080 --> 00:49:58,280
Speaker 1: remember you didn't go to the prints, not like today's

953
00:49:58,400 --> 00:50:00,880
Speaker 1: wool world where you probably go get therapy and go

954
00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:03,640
Speaker 1: to whatever. If you were an athlete back then, you

955
00:50:03,640 --> 00:50:05,839
Speaker 1: went to the coaches. And the coach was a hell

956
00:50:05,880 --> 00:50:07,839
Speaker 1: of a lot worse than anything they put you through,

957
00:50:07,880 --> 00:50:09,480
Speaker 1: because you just know you're about to get laced up.

958
00:50:10,800 --> 00:50:13,280
Speaker 1: Coach Spain was my high school coach. Grew up Milon,

959
00:50:13,360 --> 00:50:16,040
Speaker 1: Tennessee's son of a cotton farmer, and if you will,

960
00:50:16,080 --> 00:50:19,360
Speaker 1: just think about a guy who grew up from age

961
00:50:19,440 --> 00:50:22,400
Speaker 1: five on a cotton farm and a place called Milon, Tennessee.

962
00:50:24,560 --> 00:50:27,879
Speaker 1: That kind of hard, tough football coach, but also had

963
00:50:27,920 --> 00:50:30,480
Speaker 1: a sense about him that even when he was hard

964
00:50:30,560 --> 00:50:33,279
Speaker 1: on you, you knew he loved you. So I sent to

965
00:50:33,280 --> 00:50:36,040
Speaker 1: his office fully ready to bend over and grab him

966
00:50:36,080 --> 00:50:37,800
Speaker 1: and take whatever looks I was going to get be

967
00:50:37,880 --> 00:50:39,879
Speaker 1: told what a piece of crap I was, and everything else.

968
00:50:39,920 --> 00:50:43,920
Speaker 1: And instead he shut the door and he said, why'd

969
00:50:43,920 --> 00:50:46,280
Speaker 1: you get a fight? I told him I was angry,

970
00:50:46,960 --> 00:50:49,920
Speaker 1: really really angry, and he said, what the kid do

971
00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:51,759
Speaker 1: I said, I don't even know I'm angry at him.

972
00:50:52,520 --> 00:50:56,840
Speaker 1: And he said, look, I know why you're angry. I

973
00:50:56,880 --> 00:50:59,600
Speaker 1: know what you're doing with at home, I know what's

974
00:50:59,600 --> 00:51:02,200
Speaker 1: frustrat are and I get it, he said, but I

975
00:51:02,239 --> 00:51:06,799
Speaker 1: want to paint a picture for you. And he said,

976
00:51:07,520 --> 00:51:12,480
Speaker 1: you can foster all that anger and nobody can blame

977
00:51:12,520 --> 00:51:15,239
Speaker 1: you because of what you're dealing with. I get it.

978
00:51:16,080 --> 00:51:18,560
Speaker 1: And he said, but by the time you're thirty two,

979
00:51:19,320 --> 00:51:23,239
Speaker 1: you will likely have some substitu abuse problem or be

980
00:51:23,280 --> 00:51:26,200
Speaker 1: an alcoholic. You will have lost at least one job,

981
00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:29,000
Speaker 1: and you will more than likely have kids out of

982
00:51:29,040 --> 00:51:33,239
Speaker 1: wedlock or being a divorce raising more kids in the

983
00:51:33,280 --> 00:51:35,520
Speaker 1: exact same situation that you're in right now.

984
00:51:35,400 --> 00:51:36,200
Speaker 3: That you ate so bad.

985
00:51:36,920 --> 00:51:41,200
Speaker 1: He said, that's what happens if you are going to

986
00:51:41,200 --> 00:51:45,960
Speaker 1: be a victim of your circumstances, he said, or this

987
00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:48,880
Speaker 1: is the part I'll ever forget. You can make a

988
00:51:48,920 --> 00:51:53,920
Speaker 1: decision to be the rock that that dysfunction breaks itself on.

989
00:51:55,480 --> 00:51:57,920
Speaker 1: I love that. That's what the words he used to

990
00:51:57,920 --> 00:52:02,880
Speaker 1: me were. He said, you're old enough now to decide

991
00:52:03,160 --> 00:52:05,160
Speaker 1: do you want to be a victim of your circumstance

992
00:52:05,880 --> 00:52:09,120
Speaker 1: or rock that the dysfunction that's making you so angry

993
00:52:09,200 --> 00:52:13,960
Speaker 1: breaks itself phone. It's really a defining moment in my life.

994
00:52:14,239 --> 00:52:19,879
Speaker 1: When I read before watching the movie, I went home

995
00:52:19,920 --> 00:52:22,440
Speaker 1: to ask for forgiveness who was my prodigal son moment?

996
00:52:22,520 --> 00:52:24,960
Speaker 1: And yes, Stan was standing there waiting open arms to

997
00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:29,840
Speaker 1: welcome me home. That's unconditional love and welcome you to

998
00:52:29,920 --> 00:52:32,799
Speaker 1: a home which is something you never had. It's not

999
00:52:32,840 --> 00:52:36,200
Speaker 1: the structure, it's the love that's inside the structure. He

1000
00:52:36,320 --> 00:52:38,160
Speaker 1: told me, I need to decide if I really want

1001
00:52:38,200 --> 00:52:40,560
Speaker 1: to change my life or did I still want to

1002
00:52:40,600 --> 00:52:44,160
Speaker 1: blame my past? In other words, be a victim, which

1003
00:52:44,239 --> 00:52:47,000
Speaker 1: is what Coach Spain was saying to me. The world's

1004
00:52:47,040 --> 00:52:48,759
Speaker 1: not going to give you anything, Nate, you got to

1005
00:52:48,800 --> 00:52:51,040
Speaker 1: fight for it, which is basically you got to make

1006
00:52:51,080 --> 00:53:00,520
Speaker 1: a decision. I read that and shuddered because it is

1007
00:53:00,840 --> 00:53:03,520
Speaker 1: so similar moment that happened to me and my wife

1008
00:53:05,280 --> 00:53:10,560
Speaker 1: by man who decided to love me. What did welcoming

1009
00:53:10,800 --> 00:53:20,640
Speaker 1: home do for you? Man? I mean, I literally changed

1010
00:53:20,640 --> 00:53:24,080
Speaker 1: everything about myself? Was it an aha moment?

1011
00:53:24,360 --> 00:53:27,280
Speaker 2: It was I was at the lowest point of my life.

1012
00:53:28,280 --> 00:53:31,800
Speaker 1: That's saying something, bro. I know that's back to the

1013
00:53:31,880 --> 00:53:40,000
Speaker 1: last for five minutes. Eric, when you hear him say

1014
00:53:40,120 --> 00:53:41,600
Speaker 1: that was the lowest low?

1015
00:53:43,520 --> 00:53:49,000
Speaker 4: How low is that unreal? I'm sitting here just I

1016
00:53:49,040 --> 00:53:52,080
Speaker 4: can't relate. I mean, I'm empathetic towards both of your stories.

1017
00:53:52,120 --> 00:53:54,000
Speaker 4: But man, I'm just broken for both of you of

1018
00:53:54,000 --> 00:53:57,480
Speaker 4: what you've dealt with. But that will be broken, not broken.

1019
00:53:57,520 --> 00:54:04,240
Speaker 4: But no, no, no, What I mean by that is without

1020
00:54:04,320 --> 00:54:07,920
Speaker 4: all of that, we're not where we are today. It's celebrated.

1021
00:54:08,239 --> 00:54:10,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's good, you know what I mean.

1022
00:54:10,920 --> 00:54:14,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, But you're right for Nate to be in that moment,

1023
00:54:14,880 --> 00:54:16,400
Speaker 4: to be the lowest of his life.

1024
00:54:16,120 --> 00:54:18,680
Speaker 1: That given his life up to that point.

1025
00:54:18,960 --> 00:54:22,240
Speaker 4: But I think it was, you know, just outside perspective

1026
00:54:22,280 --> 00:54:25,520
Speaker 4: listening in, it's like you've you've had all these bad

1027
00:54:25,520 --> 00:54:27,000
Speaker 4: things happened to you. You said this to me a

1028
00:54:27,040 --> 00:54:29,520
Speaker 4: lot of times. You didn't know how to deal with love,

1029
00:54:30,280 --> 00:54:32,360
Speaker 4: and it was the first time you disappointed somebody that

1030
00:54:32,400 --> 00:54:33,520
Speaker 4: loved you.

1031
00:54:33,080 --> 00:54:33,759
Speaker 3: You know.

1032
00:54:34,480 --> 00:54:38,440
Speaker 1: I want to be clear. We have similarities in our

1033
00:54:38,480 --> 00:54:41,799
Speaker 1: stories at points, and I'm telling you about them because

1034
00:54:41,800 --> 00:54:45,160
Speaker 1: I just identify with it so much. I did have

1035
00:54:45,200 --> 00:54:49,200
Speaker 1: a mom that loved me and tried hard, and I

1036
00:54:49,400 --> 00:54:54,359
Speaker 1: did have something you didn't have until mister Dean showed up.

1037
00:54:54,640 --> 00:54:57,400
Speaker 1: Because my mom fall like hel for me. I don't

1038
00:54:57,480 --> 00:55:05,120
Speaker 1: want to mischaracterize my life's story. So even when I

1039
00:55:05,160 --> 00:55:08,839
Speaker 1: can identify with so many pieces of your story. I too,

1040
00:55:09,560 --> 00:55:12,160
Speaker 1: can only empathize with some of it because I never

1041
00:55:12,320 --> 00:55:15,680
Speaker 1: was homeless and I never didn't have somebody fighting for

1042
00:55:15,760 --> 00:55:17,759
Speaker 1: me and loving me. Now, I might have longed for

1043
00:55:17,800 --> 00:55:20,560
Speaker 1: the guy, and I might have dealt with a lot

1044
00:55:20,560 --> 00:55:26,920
Speaker 1: of trauma too, But so to hear on balance that

1045
00:55:26,920 --> 00:55:30,279
Speaker 1: that was the lowest point in your life and you

1046
00:55:30,480 --> 00:55:33,839
Speaker 1: still had this man loving and fighting for you, Yep,

1047
00:55:34,440 --> 00:55:36,840
Speaker 1: That's why it was such an odd moment. Yeah. I

1048
00:55:36,840 --> 00:55:40,680
Speaker 1: mean he believed in me and when nobody else had

1049
00:55:40,880 --> 00:55:42,920
Speaker 1: correct And that was what my mom did for me.

1050
00:55:43,080 --> 00:55:43,880
Speaker 1: She believed in me.

1051
00:55:44,640 --> 00:55:48,520
Speaker 2: He never judged. He always encouraged me, and he tried

1052
00:55:48,520 --> 00:55:51,480
Speaker 2: to bring out the best of me. And that's what

1053
00:55:51,600 --> 00:55:52,520
Speaker 2: I wanted from And.

1054
00:55:52,600 --> 00:55:55,279
Speaker 1: I asked you something. Why you're not his son? You're

1055
00:55:55,280 --> 00:55:57,320
Speaker 1: a kid that was in his class. He taught school

1056
00:55:57,320 --> 00:56:02,200
Speaker 1: for thirty years, He'd seen a thousand kids. Was it

1057
00:56:02,440 --> 00:56:05,160
Speaker 1: just because he saw that you might have been the

1058
00:56:05,160 --> 00:56:08,640
Speaker 1: most desperate kid that ever passed those hallway? Was it

1059
00:56:08,719 --> 00:56:10,880
Speaker 1: that he saw something in you? Did you ever talk

1060
00:56:10,920 --> 00:56:13,280
Speaker 1: with him about that? Yeah?

1061
00:56:13,320 --> 00:56:18,799
Speaker 2: The why he realized that if someone didn't step in,

1062
00:56:19,640 --> 00:56:22,360
Speaker 2: that I wasn't going to survive I wasn't going to

1063
00:56:22,440 --> 00:56:26,160
Speaker 2: make it. He really did understand that, you know when

1064
00:56:26,239 --> 00:56:30,040
Speaker 2: when he saw that, you know, I wasn't coming back

1065
00:56:30,080 --> 00:56:32,040
Speaker 2: to school. That wasn't going to be a good thing.

1066
00:56:32,880 --> 00:56:33,080
Speaker 1: You know.

1067
00:56:33,280 --> 00:56:35,920
Speaker 2: He said, you can't be the person that You've got

1068
00:56:35,960 --> 00:56:39,080
Speaker 2: to show the judge that you're not that person anymore.

1069
00:56:39,440 --> 00:56:42,560
Speaker 2: And what an amazing line. You have to show the

1070
00:56:42,640 --> 00:56:44,600
Speaker 2: judge that you're not that person anymore.

1071
00:56:44,600 --> 00:56:46,240
Speaker 1: And how do you do that. You've got to change.

1072
00:56:46,520 --> 00:56:48,600
Speaker 2: You've got to go back to school, you've got to graduate,

1073
00:56:49,160 --> 00:56:50,759
Speaker 2: you've got to pay your debts, you've got to pay

1074
00:56:50,760 --> 00:56:53,040
Speaker 2: your dues. It's not going to be easy. You've got

1075
00:56:53,040 --> 00:56:55,919
Speaker 2: to stop running from your past. There's a big theme

1076
00:56:55,960 --> 00:56:59,799
Speaker 2: in the movie about running, and See would always say,

1077
00:56:59,840 --> 00:57:02,640
Speaker 2: you know, especially about drugs. He's like, where are you

1078
00:57:02,680 --> 00:57:04,600
Speaker 2: taking drugs? I'm like, well, because I can forget about

1079
00:57:04,640 --> 00:57:06,040
Speaker 2: things for a little bit. And he said, well, how's

1080
00:57:06,040 --> 00:57:06,880
Speaker 2: that going for you?

1081
00:57:07,960 --> 00:57:11,319
Speaker 1: Right? Like it wasn't going very well. You know, I

1082
00:57:11,400 --> 00:57:12,800
Speaker 1: still was dealing with everything.

1083
00:57:13,160 --> 00:57:15,360
Speaker 2: It just you know, it's not really doing much for you.

1084
00:57:15,840 --> 00:57:19,360
Speaker 2: And so, you know, going back and writing that moment

1085
00:57:19,400 --> 00:57:22,640
Speaker 2: and remembering having that conversation with him and saying just

1086
00:57:22,680 --> 00:57:27,880
Speaker 2: come home, right, Like, I knew that he cared and

1087
00:57:27,920 --> 00:57:30,880
Speaker 2: that if I was willing to change, he was going

1088
00:57:30,960 --> 00:57:33,000
Speaker 2: to step in there. And literally from that day on,

1089
00:57:33,480 --> 00:57:35,560
Speaker 2: as I was making those changes. And again, it doesn't

1090
00:57:35,560 --> 00:57:38,440
Speaker 2: happen overnight, right, it took a long time. But he

1091
00:57:38,640 --> 00:57:42,120
Speaker 2: never left my side. He never he never, Like we

1092
00:57:42,160 --> 00:57:46,240
Speaker 2: would have the most amazing conversations about life. And he's

1093
00:57:46,240 --> 00:57:50,080
Speaker 2: not a father, right, but he understands what Like he

1094
00:57:50,160 --> 00:57:51,880
Speaker 2: was a child, he went through his dad was in

1095
00:57:51,880 --> 00:57:53,800
Speaker 2: the war. You know, he had some things that he

1096
00:57:53,840 --> 00:57:55,440
Speaker 2: had to deal with as a child. So he knew

1097
00:57:56,120 --> 00:57:59,320
Speaker 2: to just listen and let me get it out.

1098
00:57:59,520 --> 00:58:02,880
Speaker 1: I don't want to overdo this metaphor that I'm using

1099
00:58:03,320 --> 00:58:11,120
Speaker 1: about standin always, unconditionally loving, always searching you out, the

1100
00:58:11,120 --> 00:58:17,360
Speaker 1: prodigal sun moment. I mean, there is just a theme here. Yeah,

1101
00:58:17,960 --> 00:58:24,880
Speaker 1: there's another christ like theme, which is forgiveness, and certainly

1102
00:58:24,880 --> 00:58:27,280
Speaker 1: when he forgave you like an idiot with his house.

1103
00:58:27,600 --> 00:58:34,240
Speaker 1: But more importantly, it really struck me. And here's another one.

1104
00:58:34,440 --> 00:58:37,240
Speaker 1: And it's so weird how many things in your story

1105
00:58:37,440 --> 00:58:42,640
Speaker 1: touched me personally. But the very guy who shot up

1106
00:58:42,960 --> 00:58:49,320
Speaker 1: the house he passed and when he passed to his

1107
00:58:49,400 --> 00:58:54,920
Speaker 1: penniless and he had in his older age joined a

1108
00:58:54,960 --> 00:58:58,000
Speaker 1: small men's group in a Bible study. And they called

1109
00:58:58,000 --> 00:59:01,240
Speaker 1: me and I wouln't visit him two days before he

1110
00:59:01,360 --> 00:59:06,800
Speaker 1: passed and told him I forgave him, which was liberating

1111
00:59:06,840 --> 00:59:11,320
Speaker 1: for me. And then he died. He was cremated. His

1112
00:59:11,400 --> 00:59:13,600
Speaker 1: ashes were put in a box about the half the

1113
00:59:13,640 --> 00:59:15,560
Speaker 1: size of a shoe box. It was built by his

1114
00:59:15,600 --> 00:59:17,800
Speaker 1: buddies of some pine. But he didn't have any money

1115
00:59:17,760 --> 00:59:20,160
Speaker 1: to be buried. And we took him to where he

1116
00:59:20,280 --> 00:59:22,880
Speaker 1: was originally from an Arkansas and talked to the caretaker

1117
00:59:22,960 --> 00:59:29,000
Speaker 1: of a of a cemetery plot and he said, look,

1118
00:59:29,200 --> 00:59:32,920
Speaker 1: just dig a small hole over there. And I literally

1119
00:59:32,960 --> 00:59:36,960
Speaker 1: buried the man. I literally dug the one put him in,

1120
00:59:38,080 --> 00:59:42,400
Speaker 1: the man who almost killed me a mom wow. But

1121
00:59:42,480 --> 00:59:50,840
Speaker 1: I forgave him, yeah, and he allowed me to forgive him.

1122
00:59:51,200 --> 00:59:57,680
Speaker 1: Stan took you to your father's grave? What was the

1123
00:59:57,840 --> 00:59:58,480
Speaker 1: lesson there?

1124
00:59:59,440 --> 01:00:03,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, in the movie and in real life. I went

1125
01:00:03,160 --> 01:00:06,200
Speaker 2: to my mother's grave first just to say, like, I

1126
01:00:06,240 --> 01:00:09,120
Speaker 2: really wanted to find her grave, just to say I

1127
01:00:09,200 --> 01:00:12,680
Speaker 2: missed her. I love the process you were never allowed

1128
01:00:12,680 --> 01:00:16,640
Speaker 2: to go through, right, And then not in the movie,

1129
01:00:17,320 --> 01:00:19,920
Speaker 2: just because we wanted to just continue moving towards hope.

1130
01:00:20,240 --> 01:00:22,360
Speaker 2: We didn't want to just take the audience back down,

1131
01:00:22,840 --> 01:00:23,000
Speaker 2: you know.

1132
01:00:23,240 --> 01:00:25,120
Speaker 1: But that's why I wanted to talk about it.

1133
01:00:25,200 --> 01:00:28,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's in my story. And then going to my

1134
01:00:28,400 --> 01:00:32,200
Speaker 2: dad's grave, it was with Stan, and what I loved

1135
01:00:32,200 --> 01:00:34,360
Speaker 2: about it was he just he kind of stood aside.

1136
01:00:35,320 --> 01:00:38,120
Speaker 1: He didn't he didn't stand there right next to me.

1137
01:00:38,240 --> 01:00:40,560
Speaker 2: He just kind of stood behind me as like protecting,

1138
01:00:41,080 --> 01:00:45,080
Speaker 2: allowing it to happen. And I just remember saying to

1139
01:00:45,120 --> 01:00:48,040
Speaker 2: my dad, you know, I'm not going to allow what

1140
01:00:48,080 --> 01:00:51,120
Speaker 2: you did to me and to my mom affect the

1141
01:00:51,120 --> 01:00:52,920
Speaker 2: rest of my life. It's not my fault. It was

1142
01:00:53,000 --> 01:00:56,200
Speaker 2: your fault, but I forgive you for it. But I'm

1143
01:00:56,280 --> 01:00:58,120
Speaker 2: going to move on, and I'm going to move on

1144
01:00:58,200 --> 01:01:01,280
Speaker 2: as strong as I can. That's what happened. I mean,

1145
01:01:01,320 --> 01:01:03,400
Speaker 2: I just literally said, I forgive you.

1146
01:01:03,440 --> 01:01:06,600
Speaker 1: What an amazing piece of mentorship by Stan to know

1147
01:01:07,400 --> 01:01:09,400
Speaker 1: that you had to be able to forgive your dad

1148
01:01:09,440 --> 01:01:15,680
Speaker 1: to be able to go on. Yeah, what phenomenal emotional

1149
01:01:15,680 --> 01:01:18,640
Speaker 1: intelligence and awareness. Yeah.

1150
01:01:18,920 --> 01:01:21,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, And he there's some things in his past with

1151
01:01:21,080 --> 01:01:23,320
Speaker 2: his dad. His dad was in the war, came back

1152
01:01:23,360 --> 01:01:26,080
Speaker 2: and just was never the same. And I think there

1153
01:01:26,080 --> 01:01:27,840
Speaker 2: were moments in his life where he had to forgive

1154
01:01:27,880 --> 01:01:31,160
Speaker 2: his dad, not not to nearly the same extent, but

1155
01:01:31,360 --> 01:01:33,600
Speaker 2: just but I think you had a little bit of

1156
01:01:33,640 --> 01:01:35,840
Speaker 2: that in him. Yeah, we talked a lot about that.

1157
01:01:35,920 --> 01:01:38,800
Speaker 2: We talked a lot about forgiving and not you know,

1158
01:01:38,880 --> 01:01:41,920
Speaker 2: pushing past all of those hurts, you know. I mean

1159
01:01:41,960 --> 01:01:44,360
Speaker 2: we even talked about, like, you know, Nate, you're behind

1160
01:01:44,400 --> 01:01:46,680
Speaker 2: the eight ball getting a job, like you know, you

1161
01:01:46,720 --> 01:01:49,280
Speaker 2: have a criminal record now, you know you might have

1162
01:01:49,320 --> 01:01:50,960
Speaker 2: to share, you know, cut your hair. He didn't say

1163
01:01:50,960 --> 01:01:53,720
Speaker 2: you need to cut your hair. He said you might

1164
01:01:53,760 --> 01:01:56,480
Speaker 2: want to think about, you know, you know, making yourself

1165
01:01:56,520 --> 01:01:58,880
Speaker 2: look a little bit more presentable too, you know, when

1166
01:01:58,920 --> 01:02:00,520
Speaker 2: you go on you know, not.

1167
01:02:00,680 --> 01:02:02,560
Speaker 1: You look like a head dress. Right.

1168
01:02:02,560 --> 01:02:04,560
Speaker 2: And it wasn't that he was telling me about it, right,

1169
01:02:04,680 --> 01:02:06,840
Speaker 2: It wasn't like he forced me to cut my hair

1170
01:02:06,880 --> 01:02:09,080
Speaker 2: because he said, well, having long hair makes you bad.

1171
01:02:09,440 --> 01:02:11,760
Speaker 2: He's just saying, hey, listen, you're going against other people

1172
01:02:11,960 --> 01:02:14,200
Speaker 2: going for the same job who don't have that. So

1173
01:02:14,400 --> 01:02:16,760
Speaker 2: whatever we can do, let's get you some nicer clothes

1174
01:02:16,840 --> 01:02:19,280
Speaker 2: and you know, uh and all of those things. And

1175
01:02:19,320 --> 01:02:21,200
Speaker 2: he basically taught me how to be a young man,

1176
01:02:22,600 --> 01:02:25,680
Speaker 2: how to grow up and and and fight for myself

1177
01:02:25,720 --> 01:02:27,840
Speaker 2: and fight for a better life.

1178
01:02:28,200 --> 01:02:30,200
Speaker 1: We're not going to talk about how the movie ends.

1179
01:02:30,240 --> 01:02:35,080
Speaker 1: But one more thing. Christmas. Yes Christmas.

1180
01:02:35,760 --> 01:02:38,160
Speaker 2: Stan loved Christmas. He got that from his mother.

1181
01:02:38,720 --> 01:02:39,120
Speaker 1: Christmas.

1182
01:02:41,120 --> 01:02:46,000
Speaker 3: I love Christmas. Yeah, absolutely, absolute Christmas in September.

1183
01:02:46,440 --> 01:02:48,240
Speaker 1: Yes for you.

1184
01:02:48,320 --> 01:02:51,800
Speaker 2: Yes, it did about today, not today.

1185
01:02:51,840 --> 01:02:58,480
Speaker 1: I love Christmas. Tell us how to stand revealed Christmas

1186
01:02:58,480 --> 01:02:58,720
Speaker 1: to you?

1187
01:02:59,440 --> 01:03:04,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, Stan love Christmas. He had a tree in every room,

1188
01:03:04,080 --> 01:03:05,320
Speaker 2: just like his parents did.

1189
01:03:06,600 --> 01:03:08,440
Speaker 1: In every room. I'm not kidding. And I do to

1190
01:03:08,480 --> 01:03:09,040
Speaker 1: this day.

1191
01:03:08,880 --> 01:03:11,960
Speaker 2: Too, saying in the kitchen, I have one in the kitchen,

1192
01:03:12,560 --> 01:03:13,280
Speaker 2: I have little.

1193
01:03:13,080 --> 01:03:13,880
Speaker 1: Ones in the bathroom.

1194
01:03:13,880 --> 01:03:18,000
Speaker 2: And every room has to be decord for Christmas because

1195
01:03:18,040 --> 01:03:19,600
Speaker 2: it's a time of joy. It's supposed to be a

1196
01:03:19,600 --> 01:03:25,120
Speaker 2: time of celebration, of remembering. And yeah, and so Christmas morning,

1197
01:03:25,160 --> 01:03:28,240
Speaker 2: my first Christmas with him, I walk in and there's

1198
01:03:28,280 --> 01:03:31,280
Speaker 2: all these gifts under the tree. Uh, And I'm like,

1199
01:03:31,320 --> 01:03:33,640
Speaker 2: who who are all these gifts for. I'm like, I'm

1200
01:03:33,640 --> 01:03:37,240
Speaker 2: thinking he's got kids or something somebody else. And he's like,

1201
01:03:37,480 --> 01:03:41,080
Speaker 2: I'm there for you. They're all for you. I was

1202
01:03:41,120 --> 01:03:44,440
Speaker 2: just blown away, And as Derek was saying earlier, I

1203
01:03:44,520 --> 01:03:48,760
Speaker 2: used to I could start almost getting through the trauma

1204
01:03:48,800 --> 01:03:50,480
Speaker 2: and hurt, but I didn't know how to be loved.

1205
01:03:51,120 --> 01:03:51,800
Speaker 1: I didn't know.

1206
01:03:51,960 --> 01:03:54,760
Speaker 2: No one ever taught me how to accept love. And

1207
01:03:54,800 --> 01:03:57,240
Speaker 2: I was very confused. I could not understand why this

1208
01:03:57,280 --> 01:03:59,840
Speaker 2: guy was giving me all these gifts. And I literally

1209
01:04:00,080 --> 01:04:00,880
Speaker 2: ran out the door.

1210
01:04:01,000 --> 01:04:03,040
Speaker 1: Hey, well, he probably should have told you that they

1211
01:04:03,080 --> 01:04:05,880
Speaker 1: were all from the what was the committee on the

1212
01:04:05,920 --> 01:04:10,160
Speaker 1: chocolate bar committee?

1213
01:04:10,200 --> 01:04:12,800
Speaker 2: That would have been great Christmas, that would have been great.

1214
01:04:13,880 --> 01:04:16,360
Speaker 2: And then there's this great conversation that we have. He

1215
01:04:16,440 --> 01:04:19,400
Speaker 2: comes and chases me down in his pajamas in his car,

1216
01:04:19,960 --> 01:04:23,920
Speaker 2: you know, and he's like, what's going on? And I

1217
01:04:24,080 --> 01:04:27,200
Speaker 2: just told him I didn't know how to deal with Christmas.

1218
01:04:27,160 --> 01:04:30,200
Speaker 2: I've never got Christmas gifts. And there's some humor there,

1219
01:04:30,240 --> 01:04:33,960
Speaker 2: but really, he said, Nate, I just want you to

1220
01:04:34,000 --> 01:04:36,960
Speaker 2: know that it's Christmas and you deserve these gifts.

1221
01:04:37,320 --> 01:04:39,720
Speaker 1: These are gifts for every gift that you didn't get

1222
01:04:39,760 --> 01:04:40,760
Speaker 1: as a child.

1223
01:04:41,120 --> 01:04:44,280
Speaker 2: Right, you should have gotten a toy car at age

1224
01:04:44,320 --> 01:04:48,440
Speaker 2: seven and eight, you should have gotten atari at sixteen,

1225
01:04:48,560 --> 01:04:49,280
Speaker 2: you know, or whatever.

1226
01:04:49,400 --> 01:04:53,000
Speaker 1: You know, Like they were all of these things for

1227
01:04:53,040 --> 01:05:00,560
Speaker 1: God's sake, whatever you know. I you know, ye, yes,

1228
01:05:01,560 --> 01:05:03,760
Speaker 1: in fact, you probably stole one of those or something.

1229
01:05:07,680 --> 01:05:12,520
Speaker 2: You know, But to then sit down and celebrate that

1230
01:05:12,560 --> 01:05:15,320
Speaker 2: first Christmas together, and to be honest with you, something

1231
01:05:15,320 --> 01:05:18,680
Speaker 2: I just recently discovered was I found a picture of

1232
01:05:19,000 --> 01:05:22,120
Speaker 2: Stan sitting at one of his Christmas trees with his mom,

1233
01:05:22,160 --> 01:05:24,840
Speaker 2: celebrating Christmas when he was like thirty five.

1234
01:05:25,440 --> 01:05:25,560
Speaker 4: Uh.

1235
01:05:25,680 --> 01:05:28,680
Speaker 2: And there was this big stocking in the picture, and

1236
01:05:28,720 --> 01:05:34,000
Speaker 2: it's like stan stocking. But on my first Christmas he

1237
01:05:34,040 --> 01:05:36,440
Speaker 2: had given me a stocking. And I thought he went

1238
01:05:36,480 --> 01:05:39,720
Speaker 2: out and bought a stocking, but he gave me his

1239
01:05:39,840 --> 01:05:43,680
Speaker 2: stocking from his mother. And I literally just found that

1240
01:05:43,800 --> 01:05:45,240
Speaker 2: out like a couple of weeks ago.

1241
01:05:45,760 --> 01:05:47,920
Speaker 1: That had to have choked it unbelievable.

1242
01:05:47,960 --> 01:05:50,840
Speaker 2: I looked at Jess and I said, you know this

1243
01:05:50,840 --> 01:05:54,200
Speaker 2: this stocking here that Stan gave me. I said it

1244
01:05:54,240 --> 01:05:56,000
Speaker 2: was Stan. She's like, how do you know that? I

1245
01:05:56,000 --> 01:05:57,440
Speaker 2: thought he bought it for you? That's what you always

1246
01:05:57,480 --> 01:05:59,080
Speaker 2: told me. I said, no, no, no, look at this picture

1247
01:05:59,120 --> 01:06:01,400
Speaker 2: and there's a picture of him his mom giving him

1248
01:06:01,440 --> 01:06:05,080
Speaker 2: that stocking. And I'm like, are you kidding me? Like

1249
01:06:05,200 --> 01:06:07,200
Speaker 2: and he never ever told me that that was his

1250
01:06:07,280 --> 01:06:10,479
Speaker 2: stocking from his mother, and I was just blown away.

1251
01:06:11,200 --> 01:06:13,680
Speaker 2: And so I still hang that stocking with a stocking

1252
01:06:13,680 --> 01:06:17,760
Speaker 2: that says stand on it for him. But this past Christmas,

1253
01:06:17,840 --> 01:06:21,120
Speaker 2: I actually gave him back the stocking, and I changed

1254
01:06:21,160 --> 01:06:23,240
Speaker 2: the names because I wanted to give.

1255
01:06:23,200 --> 01:06:44,720
Speaker 1: Him that stocking back. We'll be right back if anyone

1256
01:06:44,840 --> 01:06:51,280
Speaker 1: listening to us now doesn't hear this story and run

1257
01:06:52,000 --> 01:06:57,000
Speaker 1: to watch this movie to celebrate standin and to then

1258
01:06:57,120 --> 01:07:01,800
Speaker 1: convince yourself that artless of who you are, where you are,

1259
01:07:01,880 --> 01:07:06,320
Speaker 1: what you have, you can be the most normal, unassuming

1260
01:07:06,400 --> 01:07:09,040
Speaker 1: person in the world but have a profound effect on

1261
01:07:09,120 --> 01:07:15,440
Speaker 1: another person's life and change lives. That's what Brave the

1262
01:07:15,520 --> 01:07:16,200
Speaker 1: Darkness about.

1263
01:07:16,440 --> 01:07:21,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, Brave the Darkness is so much more than

1264
01:07:21,360 --> 01:07:26,040
Speaker 2: a movie. Stan is the truth hero of this movie

1265
01:07:26,080 --> 01:07:30,840
Speaker 2: because he didn't want anything in return. He did it

1266
01:07:30,840 --> 01:07:32,160
Speaker 2: because it was the right thing to do.

1267
01:07:34,080 --> 01:07:36,560
Speaker 1: I'm not going to talk about the rest of the story.

1268
01:07:36,800 --> 01:07:39,920
Speaker 1: I'm cliff hanging it because I want people to know,

1269
01:07:40,800 --> 01:07:43,320
Speaker 1: but I want them to be able to experience the reveal.

1270
01:07:43,680 --> 01:07:55,720
Speaker 1: Yea and a real last odd twist of identity to

1271
01:07:55,800 --> 01:07:59,920
Speaker 1: the two of your stories. Derek Cowdy I'm thirty nine.

1272
01:08:01,600 --> 01:08:04,720
Speaker 1: You were diagnosed with colon cancer at thirty one, yeah,

1273
01:08:06,840 --> 01:08:10,960
Speaker 1: and you beat it. Yeah, and you made a documentary

1274
01:08:11,320 --> 01:08:18,120
Speaker 1: about it called The Day I Became Alive. Yeah, And

1275
01:08:18,280 --> 01:08:22,320
Speaker 1: the day of August twenty fourth, twenty seventeen, was the

1276
01:08:22,439 --> 01:08:24,280
Speaker 1: day that.

1277
01:08:27,840 --> 01:08:28,400
Speaker 3: That was my day.

1278
01:08:28,400 --> 01:08:29,040
Speaker 1: He became a love.

1279
01:08:29,160 --> 01:08:31,360
Speaker 3: That was my diagnosis day. That was the day I

1280
01:08:31,400 --> 01:08:31,960
Speaker 3: became alive.

1281
01:08:32,320 --> 01:08:36,839
Speaker 1: August twenty fourth is my birthday? No way? Is that weird?

1282
01:08:37,600 --> 01:08:40,639
Speaker 3: Listen, there's my birth My birthday stands birthday too?

1283
01:08:41,160 --> 01:08:43,760
Speaker 1: Are you kidding? So many September.

1284
01:08:43,320 --> 01:08:47,679
Speaker 4: Eleven, it's my birthday's birthday. I mean, there's so many

1285
01:08:47,680 --> 01:08:51,719
Speaker 4: little this is amazing. I mean September eleventh, are you kidds?

1286
01:08:52,760 --> 01:08:58,000
Speaker 4: And that's also stands yes, yes. And your birthday, my friend,

1287
01:08:58,040 --> 01:08:58,960
Speaker 4: is tomorrow.

1288
01:08:58,760 --> 01:09:00,960
Speaker 2: Yes it is.

1289
01:09:02,840 --> 01:09:06,120
Speaker 4: I'm a huge celebrator of birthdays and I know Stanle

1290
01:09:06,200 --> 01:09:10,559
Speaker 4: was too. And you have to share the birthday cake story.

1291
01:09:11,520 --> 01:09:14,439
Speaker 1: That's what I was going to end. Yeah, okay, segue. Yeah,

1292
01:09:14,520 --> 01:09:18,280
Speaker 1: But the whole point is for you to have had

1293
01:09:18,520 --> 01:09:23,519
Speaker 1: cancer and beat it and have your rebirthday of August

1294
01:09:23,600 --> 01:09:25,840
Speaker 1: twenty fourth. And I'm reading this single and that's my

1295
01:09:26,000 --> 01:09:29,160
Speaker 1: birthday after all these other things. I mean, I just

1296
01:09:29,160 --> 01:09:34,800
Speaker 1: feel like it's almost faithful today. There's just too many things.

1297
01:09:35,040 --> 01:09:35,519
Speaker 1: I agree.

1298
01:09:35,640 --> 01:09:38,040
Speaker 4: You know, that's just another kind of pat on the back,

1299
01:09:38,120 --> 01:09:41,120
Speaker 4: I think the whole way through this film to say

1300
01:09:41,120 --> 01:09:42,559
Speaker 4: we're going in the right direction.

1301
01:09:42,760 --> 01:09:44,559
Speaker 3: You know, God is with us the whole way through.

1302
01:09:44,680 --> 01:09:48,200
Speaker 4: And you know, going through my cancer journey allowed me

1303
01:09:48,280 --> 01:09:50,040
Speaker 4: to kind of be resilient to be able to take

1304
01:09:50,080 --> 01:09:52,519
Speaker 4: on a film like this and help and help it

1305
01:09:52,560 --> 01:09:54,479
Speaker 4: and bring it to the finish line with the whole team.

1306
01:09:54,920 --> 01:09:57,000
Speaker 4: I don't know if I would have taken the risk

1307
01:09:57,080 --> 01:10:00,559
Speaker 4: as an entrepreneur before going through that. Nothing else matters.

1308
01:10:00,560 --> 01:10:03,040
Speaker 4: When you are just happy to be alive every day,

1309
01:10:03,080 --> 01:10:06,840
Speaker 4: it's like wake up. That's the biggest gift. Everything else

1310
01:10:06,920 --> 01:10:07,960
Speaker 4: is just gravy.

1311
01:10:08,040 --> 01:10:09,760
Speaker 1: You know, what's it feel like to be able to

1312
01:10:09,800 --> 01:10:14,760
Speaker 1: bring obviously your story, but stan the story? Yeah, it's

1313
01:10:14,880 --> 01:10:17,599
Speaker 1: I mean, what's that feel like? Because raising money and

1314
01:10:17,640 --> 01:10:19,639
Speaker 1: you get the minutia of the business side of it,

1315
01:10:19,680 --> 01:10:21,479
Speaker 1: but that's excruciating sometimes.

1316
01:10:21,600 --> 01:10:22,600
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1317
01:10:22,800 --> 01:10:24,680
Speaker 4: No, I mean since I was a kid, since I

1318
01:10:24,720 --> 01:10:26,120
Speaker 4: was ten, I've had a camera on my hand and

1319
01:10:26,160 --> 01:10:28,920
Speaker 4: always wanted to make movies and I've had I have

1320
01:10:28,920 --> 01:10:32,120
Speaker 4: a commercial advertising business. I've done documentaries, I've done other

1321
01:10:32,160 --> 01:10:33,800
Speaker 4: films with even with Nate, but like.

1322
01:10:34,320 --> 01:10:36,800
Speaker 3: This is the first big, first feature.

1323
01:10:36,479 --> 01:10:38,599
Speaker 4: Film that I've produced from the you know, from like

1324
01:10:38,920 --> 01:10:41,080
Speaker 4: obviously thirteen years ago was the beginning, but from when

1325
01:10:41,120 --> 01:10:43,160
Speaker 4: I came on in terms of the financials and all

1326
01:10:43,200 --> 01:10:47,000
Speaker 4: the things. And it's the biggest gift that I've ever

1327
01:10:47,040 --> 01:10:50,400
Speaker 4: been able to receive, not only give to the world

1328
01:10:50,439 --> 01:10:52,080
Speaker 4: now be part of the team that's given to this

1329
01:10:52,160 --> 01:10:54,640
Speaker 4: the world. But it's been an honor for me to

1330
01:10:54,720 --> 01:10:57,640
Speaker 4: be part of this because Stan is a hero in

1331
01:10:57,640 --> 01:10:59,800
Speaker 4: our in our community, you know, not only the Nate

1332
01:10:59,840 --> 01:11:02,479
Speaker 4: like he obviously to Nate was the biggest story, but

1333
01:11:02,520 --> 01:11:06,240
Speaker 4: there's so many thousands of people that you know, were

1334
01:11:06,280 --> 01:11:08,280
Speaker 4: inspired and changed because of his life.

1335
01:11:08,840 --> 01:11:09,840
Speaker 3: And so I am like.

1336
01:11:09,960 --> 01:11:11,920
Speaker 4: Honored every I mean honestly, when we were into like

1337
01:11:12,280 --> 01:11:14,920
Speaker 4: in the trenches of this whole thing and Nate and

1338
01:11:14,920 --> 01:11:18,800
Speaker 4: I would meet, I'm like getting emotional, like I I

1339
01:11:18,800 --> 01:11:21,120
Speaker 4: think everything's falling apart, and like I just want to

1340
01:11:21,240 --> 01:11:23,559
Speaker 4: I want to tell Stan's story and this I want

1341
01:11:23,600 --> 01:11:26,880
Speaker 4: to help with this legacy that Stan had and what

1342
01:11:27,000 --> 01:11:29,120
Speaker 4: he did for you. And we would get emotional about

1343
01:11:29,120 --> 01:11:31,280
Speaker 4: it because like we didn't want it to go a

1344
01:11:31,360 --> 01:11:34,639
Speaker 4: place that we didn't want it to be. And now

1345
01:11:35,000 --> 01:11:37,320
Speaker 4: I think we're just so proud that it's getting out

1346
01:11:37,360 --> 01:11:40,160
Speaker 4: and going to be in thousands of theaters and giving

1347
01:11:40,160 --> 01:11:43,320
Speaker 4: it to reach that it needs, and it's unbelievable.

1348
01:11:44,400 --> 01:11:47,840
Speaker 1: We're going to end this way. One last thing that

1349
01:11:48,160 --> 01:11:55,560
Speaker 1: Stan figured out to do for U, Nate. Just like Christmas,

1350
01:11:55,840 --> 01:11:58,840
Speaker 1: you never got a birthday, Yeah, not real birthdays are weird,

1351
01:11:59,040 --> 01:12:01,320
Speaker 1: and therefore you didn't really want to celebrate birthdays because

1352
01:12:01,320 --> 01:12:04,920
Speaker 1: you didn't know how to receive birthdays. And so one

1353
01:12:05,000 --> 01:12:09,599
Speaker 1: night near your birthday, you tell him, man, I don't

1354
01:12:09,600 --> 01:12:11,840
Speaker 1: want a birthday cake. But little did you know he'd

1355
01:12:11,880 --> 01:12:14,960
Speaker 1: already bought one. Yep, so how do he make that work?

1356
01:12:16,400 --> 01:12:18,639
Speaker 2: So, yeah, I said I don't want a birthday cake.

1357
01:12:18,680 --> 01:12:22,200
Speaker 2: I don't want to celebrate, and he had this cake already,

1358
01:12:22,240 --> 01:12:25,280
Speaker 2: but little did I know that he went back to

1359
01:12:25,360 --> 01:12:27,160
Speaker 2: the bakery and had.

1360
01:12:26,960 --> 01:12:27,680
Speaker 1: Them change it.

1361
01:12:28,160 --> 01:12:31,960
Speaker 2: And so when I got home that night, we had

1362
01:12:31,960 --> 01:12:34,080
Speaker 2: some supper and then all of a sudden, he goes

1363
01:12:34,080 --> 01:12:35,760
Speaker 2: in the kitchen and he turns out the lights, and

1364
01:12:35,760 --> 01:12:38,720
Speaker 2: all of a sudden, I see candles coming towards me

1365
01:12:38,880 --> 01:12:41,639
Speaker 2: and the flickering of the light and he's carrying this cake.

1366
01:12:42,400 --> 01:12:44,879
Speaker 2: Like I got mad, I really got.

1367
01:12:44,680 --> 01:12:46,960
Speaker 1: I told you, I told you.

1368
01:12:47,120 --> 01:12:49,040
Speaker 2: And he just sat it down in front of me

1369
01:12:49,600 --> 01:12:53,760
Speaker 2: and he said, Nate, this is not a happy birthday cake.

1370
01:12:54,640 --> 01:12:56,640
Speaker 2: And I was like, what are you talking about? And

1371
01:12:56,720 --> 01:13:01,080
Speaker 2: I looked down and it said happy Day, Nate.

1372
01:13:03,560 --> 01:13:07,800
Speaker 1: And I went and change it to just happy Day, Nate.

1373
01:13:08,479 --> 01:13:09,840
Speaker 1: And so I looked back up.

1374
01:13:09,760 --> 01:13:13,040
Speaker 2: At him and I said, you are the weirdest person

1375
01:13:13,520 --> 01:13:15,639
Speaker 2: I have ever met, because, right, what would every other

1376
01:13:15,680 --> 01:13:16,080
Speaker 2: parent do?

1377
01:13:16,200 --> 01:13:18,040
Speaker 1: Right, You're eating the dang birthday cake.

1378
01:13:18,200 --> 01:13:20,200
Speaker 2: You know you're just gonna eat the cake, right, But

1379
01:13:20,240 --> 01:13:24,200
Speaker 2: then he said this, he said, Nate, and I'll never

1380
01:13:24,280 --> 01:13:27,920
Speaker 2: forget it. He said, Nate, I just want you to

1381
01:13:28,000 --> 01:13:29,559
Speaker 2: be happy today.

1382
01:13:31,720 --> 01:13:32,519
Speaker 1: So here's the cake.

1383
01:13:32,760 --> 01:13:35,000
Speaker 2: And guess what, I was happy the rest of the night.

1384
01:13:35,080 --> 01:13:35,840
Speaker 1: I didn't go out.

1385
01:13:36,560 --> 01:13:39,720
Speaker 2: We just talked and laughed and he actually had some

1386
01:13:39,760 --> 01:13:42,240
Speaker 2: gifts for me and cards and all sorts of stuff,

1387
01:13:43,760 --> 01:13:47,120
Speaker 2: and it just really, you know, just reemphasized how much

1388
01:13:47,120 --> 01:13:50,960
Speaker 2: he loved and cared for me and and just didn't

1389
01:13:51,040 --> 01:13:54,400
Speaker 2: want me to be unhappy. And to be honest with you,

1390
01:13:54,400 --> 01:13:57,320
Speaker 2: I haven't had many unhappy days since because every time

1391
01:13:57,320 --> 01:13:59,160
Speaker 2: I get unhappy, I even tell Derek, IM like, even

1392
01:13:59,240 --> 01:14:01,559
Speaker 2: during some of the hard parts of making a film,

1393
01:14:01,920 --> 01:14:05,240
Speaker 2: I just go you know, Stan wouldn't want me to

1394
01:14:05,280 --> 01:14:07,759
Speaker 2: be this way. He wouldn't want me to be upset today.

1395
01:14:08,160 --> 01:14:10,080
Speaker 2: He wouldn't want me to be angry today. He wouldn't

1396
01:14:10,120 --> 01:14:15,639
Speaker 2: want me to be unhappy. And yeah, if.

1397
01:14:15,520 --> 01:14:18,040
Speaker 1: You think you have to join the army, in normal folks,

1398
01:14:18,040 --> 01:14:21,360
Speaker 1: you have to join a big organization or do something amazing,

1399
01:14:21,520 --> 01:14:26,400
Speaker 1: or spend thousands of money, and that fear, that worry

1400
01:14:26,479 --> 01:14:30,000
Speaker 1: about your own inability to do that to exact some

1401
01:14:30,080 --> 01:14:34,599
Speaker 1: measure change prohibits you from even engaging. That's a real

1402
01:14:34,680 --> 01:14:40,680
Speaker 1: loss because Stan Dean shows us that you don't have

1403
01:14:40,720 --> 01:14:44,000
Speaker 1: to have any of that to make a profound change.

1404
01:14:44,160 --> 01:14:49,599
Speaker 1: And if you want to really see what happens, Stan

1405
01:14:49,680 --> 01:14:55,000
Speaker 1: Dean's an average guy teaching school who simply picks up

1406
01:14:55,040 --> 01:14:59,400
Speaker 1: the care for a very broken child whose life is

1407
01:14:59,439 --> 01:15:03,760
Speaker 1: now full enriched and whose story is now going to

1408
01:15:03,800 --> 01:15:09,840
Speaker 1: be in theaters all over the country. I think we all,

1409
01:15:10,240 --> 01:15:13,120
Speaker 1: as an ur Mi normal folks need to brave the

1410
01:15:13,240 --> 01:15:18,160
Speaker 1: dark absolutely, and I hope everybody listen to me, will

1411
01:15:18,200 --> 01:15:21,880
Speaker 1: find Angel Studio's latest film, Brave the Dark, See the

1412
01:15:21,920 --> 01:15:25,960
Speaker 1: story of mister Dean, see Nate Dean, who you've just heard,

1413
01:15:27,200 --> 01:15:30,640
Speaker 1: who wrote and helped produce this thing, and see the

1414
01:15:30,680 --> 01:15:35,559
Speaker 1: work that Derek dean Er did to raise the money

1415
01:15:35,560 --> 01:15:38,839
Speaker 1: to bring this story to you. We often talk about

1416
01:15:39,600 --> 01:15:42,840
Speaker 1: what's on social media and in the movies and hits

1417
01:15:42,880 --> 01:15:45,840
Speaker 1: their waves as such, crap, And we just wish we

1418
01:15:45,880 --> 01:15:49,040
Speaker 1: would start producing stuff that you could take your family

1419
01:15:49,080 --> 01:15:52,040
Speaker 1: to that would be redemptive and inspirational and mean something.

1420
01:15:52,080 --> 01:15:55,479
Speaker 1: Will you know what here it is? And if you

1421
01:15:56,720 --> 01:15:59,639
Speaker 1: if you're if you're sick of all that divisive shoot

1422
01:15:59,680 --> 01:16:04,840
Speaker 1: them up, everything else is terrible whatever stuff. And you

1423
01:16:04,920 --> 01:16:07,960
Speaker 1: keep talking about wanting to have redemptive things out there

1424
01:16:08,000 --> 01:16:11,160
Speaker 1: that you could take the family to see. Well, Brave

1425
01:16:11,200 --> 01:16:15,240
Speaker 1: the Darks out there, guys, if for any other reason,

1426
01:16:15,920 --> 01:16:23,280
Speaker 1: to celebrate Nate's overcoming so many obstacles and to celebrate

1427
01:16:23,320 --> 01:16:26,599
Speaker 1: a hero like Stan, I hope everybody go see the movie.

1428
01:16:26,880 --> 01:16:30,320
Speaker 1: And guys, for the work you've done to bring it

1429
01:16:30,320 --> 01:16:34,439
Speaker 1: to us, thank you so much. And I'm really glad

1430
01:16:34,479 --> 01:16:36,880
Speaker 1: you came to Memphis to tell us about the movie.

1431
01:16:36,960 --> 01:16:38,800
Speaker 1: To tell us about your story and to give us

1432
01:16:38,800 --> 01:16:42,320
Speaker 1: some color and some feel behind some of those scenes.

1433
01:16:42,800 --> 01:16:45,479
Speaker 1: I hope it remains impactful for those listening to us

1434
01:16:45,479 --> 01:16:49,519
Speaker 1: when they're watching it, and they will support your film,

1435
01:16:49,720 --> 01:16:52,799
Speaker 1: and I hope you guys sell ay but Julian tickets.

1436
01:16:52,960 --> 01:16:56,920
Speaker 3: Thank you. Thanks for having us. Yeah amazing, Thanks.

1437
01:16:56,640 --> 01:16:57,680
Speaker 1: For being here. Yeah, thank you.

1438
01:16:57,760 --> 01:17:07,639
Speaker 2: It's a true honor to share this story with the world.

1439
01:17:05,439 --> 01:17:09,040
Speaker 1: And thank you for joining us this week. If Stan

1440
01:17:09,200 --> 01:17:12,400
Speaker 1: Dean inspired you in general, or better yet, to take

1441
01:17:12,439 --> 01:17:16,200
Speaker 1: action by going to see Brave the Dark in theaters,

1442
01:17:16,280 --> 01:17:20,400
Speaker 1: which you need to do, becoming a constant in someone

1443
01:17:20,400 --> 01:17:24,719
Speaker 1: else's life like Stan was in Neates or something else entirely,

1444
01:17:25,280 --> 01:17:28,080
Speaker 1: please let me know. I'd love to hear about it.

1445
01:17:28,120 --> 01:17:32,040
Speaker 1: You can write me anytime at Bill at normal folks

1446
01:17:32,080 --> 01:17:34,880
Speaker 1: dot us, and I guarantee you this I will respond.

1447
01:17:35,680 --> 01:17:39,080
Speaker 1: If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with friends

1448
01:17:39,080 --> 01:17:43,320
Speaker 1: and on social subscribe to the podcast, rate it, and

1449
01:17:43,439 --> 01:17:47,559
Speaker 1: review it. Join the Army at Normalfolks dot us. Consider

1450
01:17:47,600 --> 01:17:51,160
Speaker 1: becoming a premium member there any and all of these

1451
01:17:51,200 --> 01:17:55,759
Speaker 1: things that will help us grow an army of normal folks.

1452
01:17:56,520 --> 01:18:00,679
Speaker 1: Check out Army of Normal folks on Instagram to pick

1453
01:18:00,760 --> 01:18:04,080
Speaker 1: up some normal folks wisdom thanks to our producer Iron

1454
01:18:04,240 --> 01:18:08,759
Speaker 1: Like Lives, I'm Bill Courtney. Until next time, find something

1455
01:18:08,800 --> 01:18:10,960
Speaker 1: you can do and do what you can m