WEBVTT - 2025 Update: The Marshes 0:00:15.210 --> 0:00:22.250 Pushkin. Hello, welcome to the studio, Cluilihold. 0:00:22.650 --> 0:00:25.890 I've been welcomed to this studio so many times. 0:00:26.450 --> 0:00:29.450 We're going to be listening to an encore presentation of 0:00:29.530 --> 0:00:30.250 The Marshes. 0:00:30.650 --> 0:00:32.290 This is one of my favorite episodes. 0:00:32.690 --> 0:00:34.290 What is it about it that you think makes it 0:00:34.330 --> 0:00:35.010 a favorite? 0:00:36.170 --> 0:00:38.370 Part of it is just Steve. I think he is 0:00:38.450 --> 0:00:43.810 like such a lovable, enjoyable person to hear from, but 0:00:43.970 --> 0:00:48.449 also just like it's one where I felt genuinely emotional 0:00:48.610 --> 0:00:52.090 in the reporting at what was unfolding, and then my 0:00:52.209 --> 0:00:55.289 hope is that we translated that into the episode itself. 0:00:55.810 --> 0:00:58.050 And this is an episode that you produced. Yes, it 0:00:58.170 --> 0:01:00.969 is with your own bare hands, well in the computer 0:01:01.170 --> 0:01:04.289 brick by brick, Yeah, I mean this was years in 0:01:04.370 --> 0:01:04.809 the making. 0:01:05.209 --> 0:01:08.130 Yeah, this was at the time, it was the longest 0:01:08.410 --> 0:01:09.810 production of an episode. 0:01:10.170 --> 0:01:13.250 I think this was the first episode that we did 0:01:13.290 --> 0:01:16.649 not name after an individual but a group of people 0:01:16.730 --> 0:01:19.370 because we I don't know. By the end of the story, 0:01:19.370 --> 0:01:23.450 it felt like every single person brought something unique to 0:01:23.490 --> 0:01:27.370 it and it was everybody's heavyweight in a sense. 0:01:27.570 --> 0:01:28.330 That's true. 0:01:28.730 --> 0:01:31.250 All right, well, great, let's give it a listen. I'm 0:01:31.290 --> 0:01:35.290 excited to it's been a while. This is the Marshes, 0:01:36.090 --> 0:01:38.330 and I should say that at the very end of 0:01:38.370 --> 0:01:42.090 the episode, we return all these years later with an 0:01:42.170 --> 0:01:46.450 update from Steve marsh. It's not going to be what 0:01:46.490 --> 0:01:50.930 you expect. Stick around and find out. Wow, you're not 0:01:51.010 --> 0:01:53.850 going to believe what you find out. You're not going 0:01:53.890 --> 0:01:55.250 to believe what he looks like today. 0:01:55.330 --> 0:01:57.130 I don't even know what he looked like originally. 0:01:57.530 --> 0:02:01.850 But first I invite you to listen to these choice 0:02:01.890 --> 0:02:18.769 words from our sponsors that as a doctor, would you 0:02:18.810 --> 0:02:20.890 write me a reference letter for medical school? 0:02:21.250 --> 0:02:22.570 Yes, I would write a reference letter. 0:02:22.690 --> 0:02:24.130 Yeah, what would it say in it? 0:02:25.290 --> 0:02:27.610 It wouldn't necessarily be favorable, Jonathan. 0:02:28.050 --> 0:02:30.049 I'm sure a little bit favorable. 0:02:31.170 --> 0:02:31.330 Here. 0:02:31.570 --> 0:02:33.610 Let me get you started, Okay, to whom it may concern, 0:02:34.970 --> 0:02:36.889 go ahead, you take it over. 0:02:36.970 --> 0:02:37.330 Go ahead. 0:02:38.330 --> 0:02:39.250 Yeah. 0:02:40.330 --> 0:02:43.130 You would be a terrible doctor, the worst ever. 0:02:43.930 --> 0:02:45.850 You don't listen and you just keep going on and on. 0:02:45.930 --> 0:02:46.930 You'd be doing all the talking. 0:02:47.130 --> 0:02:49.209 Yeah, but a doctor has to ask questions to find 0:02:49.250 --> 0:02:50.170 out the symptoms. 0:02:50.250 --> 0:02:53.250 Yeah, but you wouldn't actually listen to the answer because 0:02:53.290 --> 0:02:57.370 you don't listen. You'd be arguing with patients, talking about yourself. 0:02:57.650 --> 0:03:01.770 If you're just thinking about something else like whoa. 0:03:02.090 --> 0:03:10.970 Alex just liked one of my tweets from Gimblet Media. 0:03:11.410 --> 0:03:18.169 I'm Jonathan Goldstein and this is heavyweight today's episode The Marshes. 0:03:29.890 --> 0:03:32.770 I first met Steve marsh at my brother in law's wedding. 0:03:33.450 --> 0:03:37.130 In conversation that night, Steve was given to making soulful 0:03:37.170 --> 0:03:42.170 observations punctuated by the word man. Steve is a big guy, 0:03:42.530 --> 0:03:46.090 shaggy haired, and comfortable in his own skin. He's a 0:03:46.090 --> 0:03:49.050 little like the dude no matter where he is or 0:03:49.050 --> 0:03:52.170 what the occasion, he gives off the impression of wearing 0:03:52.210 --> 0:03:57.210 a comfy bathrobe flung open wide to the world. It's 0:03:57.210 --> 0:04:00.570 perhaps also worth mentioning, though, while Steve wasn't invited to 0:04:00.610 --> 0:04:03.890 the wedding per se, all the guests were both happy 0:04:04.010 --> 0:04:07.490 and unsurprised to see him. Of course, Steve would be there, 0:04:07.930 --> 0:04:11.050 and his entrance fell like a lovable Saint Bernard had 0:04:11.090 --> 0:04:14.290 just wandered into the reception hall. Would you send a 0:04:14.290 --> 0:04:18.210 wedding invitation to a Saint Bernard? Of course not, but 0:04:18.289 --> 0:04:22.450 would you be darned pleased to see one show up? Absolutely? 0:04:27.489 --> 0:04:29.849 The next time Steve and I crossed paths was at 0:04:29.890 --> 0:04:33.809 another wedding. While everyone was inside drinking and eating, I 0:04:33.849 --> 0:04:38.489 found Steve outside, standing by the Hudson River, looking preoccupied. 0:04:39.489 --> 0:04:42.890 It was there, smoking from his pack of Menthols that 0:04:42.969 --> 0:04:46.330 Steve told me about his mom and a secret she'd 0:04:46.369 --> 0:04:51.009 been carrying around in shame for almost forty years. Steve 0:04:51.089 --> 0:04:54.089 said the only reason he even knew about it was 0:04:54.130 --> 0:04:57.129 because it had slipped out by accident, and now that 0:04:57.210 --> 0:04:59.770 it had, he didn't know what to do about it. 0:05:00.770 --> 0:05:03.689 So after the wedding we set aside some time to talk. 0:05:04.369 --> 0:05:05.290 How's father had gone. 0:05:05.330 --> 0:05:08.529 Man, it's great, it's really great. Before getting into it, 0:05:09.130 --> 0:05:12.289 Eve and I catch up, he's just gotten engaged, and 0:05:12.529 --> 0:05:16.450 because he's Steve, their proposal he made was an elaborate production, 0:05:16.770 --> 0:05:20.169 involving a ring baked into a cake and an entire 0:05:20.289 --> 0:05:25.369 restaurant of people cheering. His fiancee crying makes regular guys 0:05:25.409 --> 0:05:26.570 like me look real bad. 0:05:26.729 --> 0:05:28.890 I know, man, her brothers are pissed at me too. 0:05:29.010 --> 0:05:32.249 They're like, great, job, dude. 0:05:31.369 --> 0:05:33.689 With the pleasantries out of the way, we get to 0:05:33.729 --> 0:05:38.370 the unpleasantry. His mom's secret. Steve says he first learned 0:05:38.369 --> 0:05:40.729 of it in two thousand and eight, on the fourth 0:05:40.729 --> 0:05:41.450 of July. 0:05:41.729 --> 0:05:46.529 I was riding my bike and my phone was going 0:05:46.609 --> 0:05:50.370 off like NonStop, and I thought it was like a 0:05:50.409 --> 0:05:52.729 girl or a drug dealer. It was like late, you know, 0:05:52.770 --> 0:05:55.609 it was like two in the morning. So finally I 0:05:55.650 --> 0:05:58.570 pulled my bike over and I saw I was my sister. 0:05:58.690 --> 0:06:01.849 My sister had called like fifteen or sixteen times, you know. 0:06:02.890 --> 0:06:06.370 Steve's sister, Megan Marsh was up at the family sprawling 0:06:06.409 --> 0:06:10.330 trailer lot in rural Minnesota, a place they call Marshland. 0:06:11.089 --> 0:06:14.689 On summer holiday weekends, it's tradition for the entire Marsh 0:06:14.729 --> 0:06:18.370 clan to head to Marshland to drink, hang out and 0:06:18.529 --> 0:06:21.770 just be the Marshes. Seeing all the calls from Megan, 0:06:22.049 --> 0:06:24.410 Steve worried there was trouble up at Marshland. 0:06:25.010 --> 0:06:27.010 So I called and I was like, what's going on? 0:06:27.570 --> 0:06:34.290 And she was hysterical, you know, like if you knew 0:06:34.369 --> 0:06:37.969 that we had And I was like, wait. 0:06:37.890 --> 0:06:42.969 Hold on, I'm trying to get all this out, and 0:06:43.049 --> 0:06:44.690 I'm crying and hysterical. 0:06:45.810 --> 0:06:46.769 This is Steve's sister. 0:06:46.849 --> 0:06:47.249 Megan. 0:06:47.890 --> 0:06:51.210 Between violent sobs, she explained to Steve what had happened 0:06:52.049 --> 0:06:54.929 up at Marshland. Steve's parents had gone to bed, but 0:06:55.049 --> 0:06:57.690 Megan continued to hang out with a handful of people 0:06:57.969 --> 0:06:58.969 around the bonfire. 0:06:59.450 --> 0:07:03.570 There's kibly like five seven of us sitting around the fire, 0:07:04.409 --> 0:07:07.089 and we start talking about Wigi Bords. 0:07:07.489 --> 0:07:10.489 So to keep up her end of the conversation, Megan 0:07:10.489 --> 0:07:13.170 tells the group an anecdote about her mom. How o 0:07:13.170 --> 0:07:16.489 ouiji board had accurately predicted the main facts of her 0:07:16.530 --> 0:07:21.010 mom's life. It had prophesied her future husband's initials p 0:07:21.450 --> 0:07:24.530 M for Pete Marsh as well as the amount of 0:07:24.610 --> 0:07:26.850 kids or mom would have three. 0:07:27.489 --> 0:07:29.930 And my aunt is sitting, you know, all three feet 0:07:29.970 --> 0:07:34.290 away from me, and my aunt said, well, she had 0:07:34.330 --> 0:07:44.570 four kids. And initially I'm confused. You know, I've been 0:07:44.650 --> 0:07:47.610 drinking a little bit, so it's slowly coming into my brain. 0:07:47.690 --> 0:07:51.610 What's happening. I looked down at my fingers and Cony, Stephen, 0:07:52.369 --> 0:07:56.930 me Kevin, what what are you talking about? And then 0:07:57.090 --> 0:08:01.410 I look up around the fire. Everybody stopped. Everybody's silent, 0:08:02.010 --> 0:08:03.290 and they're all staring at me. 0:08:04.530 --> 0:08:08.210 So standing in this park talking to my sister on 0:08:08.250 --> 0:08:12.810 the fourth of July, she told me that my parents 0:08:13.050 --> 0:08:17.930 had another child, that we had another sibling that they 0:08:17.929 --> 0:08:21.770 gave up for adoption years before they married. 0:08:23.010 --> 0:08:25.770 The Marsh kids were full grown adults when they learned 0:08:25.810 --> 0:08:29.610 of their full sibling, a little girl one hundred percent 0:08:29.730 --> 0:08:39.689 Marsh that their mom had named Lisha. When Steve's parents, 0:08:39.810 --> 0:08:42.930 Geene and Pete, started dating, it was just a fling, 0:08:43.610 --> 0:08:46.330 and when Jeane became pregnant, they decided to put the 0:08:46.370 --> 0:08:50.170 baby up for adoption. The unusual thing, though, is that 0:08:50.250 --> 0:08:54.170 after that, Jeane and Pete ended up staying together. Seven 0:08:54.250 --> 0:08:58.010 years later they had Steve, and now they've been married 0:08:58.050 --> 0:09:02.010 for almost fifty years. But all the while, neither of 0:09:02.050 --> 0:09:05.210 Steve's parents ever spoke of their eldest child. 0:09:05.970 --> 0:09:09.650 In my family is like shockingly open, so that the 0:09:09.690 --> 0:09:14.770 fact that they sat on this secret it was wild. 0:09:16.050 --> 0:09:18.650 It's now been years since the truth came out, and 0:09:18.690 --> 0:09:21.530 the Marshes want to do something with that truth. But 0:09:21.570 --> 0:09:25.930 Steve says procrastination is a family trait, and in this case, 0:09:26.250 --> 0:09:30.010 decades of his mother's shame has turned that procrastination into 0:09:30.090 --> 0:09:34.090 total inertia. But Lisia is never far from any of 0:09:34.130 --> 0:09:36.930 their thoughts. Megan wonders what it would be like to 0:09:36.970 --> 0:09:40.410 finally have a sister, and Steve's younger brother, Kevin wonders 0:09:40.450 --> 0:09:44.010 if Lesha's redhead like him, Kevin scans every room for 0:09:44.090 --> 0:09:48.650 red hair. And then there's Steve's dad. A few days 0:09:48.650 --> 0:09:51.370 after the secret slipped out, Steve met up with him, 0:09:51.690 --> 0:09:52.810 as he does every week. 0:09:53.290 --> 0:09:56.689 My dad is a retired truck driver and kind of 0:09:56.730 --> 0:10:00.050 a tough guy, and every Monday night we shoot shotguns 0:10:00.050 --> 0:10:01.170 together in the summertime. 0:10:02.130 --> 0:10:04.690 In the car on the way to go shooting, Steve 0:10:04.730 --> 0:10:07.250 asked his dad how often he thought about Lesha. 0:10:07.370 --> 0:10:11.610 And he said every day. And we drive it's like 0:10:11.650 --> 0:10:16.370 a half hour drive on the freeway, and about halfway there, 0:10:16.890 --> 0:10:20.570 I no, shit, man, this is like a short story thing. 0:10:20.650 --> 0:10:25.850 It's almost too corny. But there was two ducks, like 0:10:25.890 --> 0:10:30.290 two adult ducks and three little baby ducks crossing the 0:10:30.290 --> 0:10:34.210 freeway and my dad dipped like deep into the shoulder 0:10:34.370 --> 0:10:38.850 of the freeway and then recover the car, and like 0:10:40.050 --> 0:10:41.810 we waited a while and he's like, did you see 0:10:41.850 --> 0:10:45.490 me miss those ducks? And I was like, yeah, yeah. 0:10:46.090 --> 0:10:49.250 And it's one of the few times I've seen my 0:10:49.330 --> 0:10:49.890 dad cry. 0:10:53.570 --> 0:10:56.210 But as much as the Marshes think about Lisha, when 0:10:56.210 --> 0:10:58.650 it comes to actually trying to find her, they're all 0:10:58.650 --> 0:11:00.050 waiting on Steve's mom. 0:11:00.490 --> 0:11:03.690 I think my dad for as much of an alpha 0:11:03.970 --> 0:11:08.850 tough guy. I think my mom runs his shit, you know. Yeah, yeah, 0:11:09.210 --> 0:11:12.330 So it's kind of up to her, and I think 0:11:12.450 --> 0:11:16.330 she is scared about what maybe she'll find out, like 0:11:16.930 --> 0:11:21.810 if Licia has hard feelings about this, or if Alicia's 0:11:21.810 --> 0:11:25.650 life didn't go as well as it could have, or 0:11:26.290 --> 0:11:30.210 how Lesha will feel to meet her family that's intact 0:11:30.210 --> 0:11:32.890 and went on to have three more kids, like wouldn't 0:11:32.890 --> 0:11:33.490 that be weird? 0:11:34.730 --> 0:11:37.970 Sure, the family's intact, and as Steve explains, the marsh 0:11:38.010 --> 0:11:41.090 kids are all close and doing well now. Megan has 0:11:41.130 --> 0:11:44.330 a career as a nurse, Steve writes, and Kevin repairs 0:11:44.330 --> 0:11:47.490 home appliances. But growing up there were a lot of 0:11:47.570 --> 0:11:50.770 drugs and a lot of trouble. Kevin had a serious 0:11:50.810 --> 0:11:54.450 meth problem, and Steve and Megan drank too much. Steve 0:11:54.490 --> 0:11:57.170 almost flunked out of high school and Kevin and Megan 0:11:57.250 --> 0:12:00.530 both dropped out. There was one Christmas the Marsha's spent 0:12:00.690 --> 0:12:04.010 visiting Kevin in treatment, and one weekend Steve spent in 0:12:04.090 --> 0:12:06.930 jail because he and Kevin got into a brawl over 0:12:06.970 --> 0:12:08.690 a beastie boy CD. 0:12:09.210 --> 0:12:13.850 Just wondering, like Leisha who was raised in a totally 0:12:13.930 --> 0:12:18.610 separate environment. I just wonder what she's like. You know, 0:12:19.610 --> 0:12:24.370 our house was so loud when growing up and h like. 0:12:24.610 --> 0:12:27.090 I always thought my family's kind of weird. Like they 0:12:27.210 --> 0:12:31.690 drink windsor seven up, like it's gonna be vanishing from 0:12:31.730 --> 0:12:32.530 the face of the earth. 0:12:32.570 --> 0:12:34.610 So what what is windsor seven up? 0:12:35.290 --> 0:12:37.090 That's the Marsh family drink? 0:12:37.210 --> 0:12:40.450 Man, I pardon my ignorance. 0:12:40.130 --> 0:12:43.010 Seven and seven man. It could be seagrams too, Canadian 0:12:43.050 --> 0:12:45.690 whiskey and lemon lime soda. 0:12:46.810 --> 0:12:49.970 But finding out whether Lesha is like a Marsh steeped 0:12:49.970 --> 0:12:52.530 in windsor and chaos isn't so simple. 0:12:53.250 --> 0:12:56.010 So the hospital no longer exists. 0:12:55.970 --> 0:12:58.170 The hospital where your mom had her. 0:12:58.530 --> 0:13:01.530 Right and it was a close Catholic adoption, like my 0:13:01.610 --> 0:13:04.890 parents never met the couple that adopted Lesha. 0:13:09.570 --> 0:13:13.050 Steve has no information about where Lisha ended up. He 0:13:13.130 --> 0:13:16.170 had a friend with connections run the name Lisha Marsh 0:13:16.250 --> 0:13:20.370 through an FBI database but found nothing. It's almost certain 0:13:20.450 --> 0:13:24.170 Lisha's name isn't even Lisha anymore. Because it was a 0:13:24.170 --> 0:13:26.730 closed adoption, the only way to reach her is through 0:13:26.770 --> 0:13:30.130 the adoption agency. Steve's mom has to write Lisha a 0:13:30.210 --> 0:13:33.810 letter asking to make contact, but whenever she's trying to 0:13:33.810 --> 0:13:36.370 write in the past, her sense of shame gets the 0:13:36.410 --> 0:13:36.930 better of her. 0:13:37.490 --> 0:13:39.170 Like she wants to do it, she said she would 0:13:39.250 --> 0:13:43.290 do it, Like what do I do? You know? Like 0:13:43.570 --> 0:13:44.770 how do we make this happen? 0:13:50.970 --> 0:13:53.650 And this is why Steve has come to me. He 0:13:53.770 --> 0:13:57.010 needs a spur to action, someone who isn't a marsh 0:13:57.250 --> 0:13:58.810 to make sure the letter gets written. 0:13:59.370 --> 0:14:02.170 We could use some help. It's almost like when you 0:14:02.210 --> 0:14:05.410 want to like go to the gym or something, just 0:14:05.530 --> 0:14:08.530 like have somebody else who's going with you, like some 0:14:08.650 --> 0:14:12.570 kind of a on ability because when we talk about 0:14:12.610 --> 0:14:14.810 it as a family, and we do whenever we get together, 0:14:15.050 --> 0:14:18.970 like my parents are all game for it, but then 0:14:19.010 --> 0:14:21.570 it just doesn't happen. And it hasn't happened. 0:14:22.050 --> 0:14:26.090 Do you need to really kind of show up with 0:14:26.130 --> 0:14:29.810 a pad of paper and a pen and place it 0:14:29.850 --> 0:14:32.370 on the table in front of her. 0:14:32.530 --> 0:14:33.930 Right, like, let's do this now. 0:14:35.010 --> 0:14:37.450 And so, in a bid to do this now, I 0:14:37.490 --> 0:14:40.050 tell Steve to phone his mom and tell her to 0:14:40.050 --> 0:14:44.010 clear her schedule because his wedding friend Jonathan is boarding 0:14:44.010 --> 0:14:47.410 a plane to Minnesota and heading straight to their house 0:14:47.850 --> 0:14:49.690 to make sure she writes that letter. 0:14:51.850 --> 0:14:53.650 I just think we need a little help, you know. 0:14:54.570 --> 0:14:57.730 Yeah, well what you need is your mother to get 0:14:57.770 --> 0:14:58.450 off her ass. 0:15:02.170 --> 0:15:03.370 Who is this guy? 0:15:03.690 --> 0:15:05.210 Just tell me again? 0:15:07.770 --> 0:15:10.970 After the break, this guy pays a visit to the 0:15:10.970 --> 0:15:28.730 marshes Hi in Minneapolis. I picked Steve up in my 0:15:28.810 --> 0:15:31.530 airport rental and we head to his parents' house for 0:15:31.610 --> 0:15:35.450 some letter writing. He's nervous, which is not helped by 0:15:35.450 --> 0:15:38.410 my economy sized car. Do you have a you have. 0:15:38.410 --> 0:15:41.050 An up room? 0:15:41.410 --> 0:15:45.170 How tall a man are you? Steve struggles to shoehorn 0:15:45.250 --> 0:15:47.930 his body into the passenger seat. If you want to 0:15:47.970 --> 0:15:53.650 send the backseat, you could. I'm sorry, but I'm so good. 0:15:54.530 --> 0:15:58.410 Although Steve says it's all good thanks to my Minnesotan 0:15:58.450 --> 0:16:01.650 to American translator app, I know that he's in fact, 0:16:01.970 --> 0:16:05.490 deeply resentful. You're gonna have to direct me because I 0:16:05.610 --> 0:16:08.250 don't know where your parents live, but wouldn't be read 0:16:08.290 --> 0:16:15.130 if they did. We arrived at Steve's parents place. It's 0:16:15.130 --> 0:16:26.850 a one story rambler, cluttered and cozy him. We settle 0:16:26.930 --> 0:16:29.930 in around the kitchen table. Pete makes his way through 0:16:29.970 --> 0:16:33.050 his daily two pots of coffee, and Jean quietly stares 0:16:33.090 --> 0:16:36.250 down at a blank piece of paper to help spur 0:16:36.370 --> 0:16:39.370 her letter writing. I ask how she and Pete first met, 0:16:39.690 --> 0:16:43.210 and Jeane becomes animated, telling me about a party at 0:16:43.250 --> 0:16:45.810 which Pete stumbled in late with a group of friends. 0:16:46.330 --> 0:16:47.410 They were all drunk. 0:16:47.810 --> 0:16:50.890 I can't remember if he kissed me on the knee 0:16:50.890 --> 0:16:53.170 and bit me in the ankle, or vice versa. 0:16:53.490 --> 0:16:57.970 That's like what the serpent did in the biblical story. 0:16:58.050 --> 0:17:00.770 I think so, and I should have never eaten that apple. 0:17:02.450 --> 0:17:05.650 Soon after, Jeane moved into a new apartment building where, 0:17:05.649 --> 0:17:08.850 in a delightful sitcom twist, Pete was living right down 0:17:08.850 --> 0:17:13.409 the hall. That Thanksgiving, Pete stopped by Jean's place drank 0:17:13.409 --> 0:17:16.810 her entire bottle of Windsor, then drunkenly proceeded to show 0:17:16.810 --> 0:17:18.450 the dinner guests is gun. 0:17:18.889 --> 0:17:21.329 Guns are no big thing for me, because I got 0:17:21.409 --> 0:17:22.449 them laying all over the place. 0:17:23.129 --> 0:17:26.170 To illustrate, Pete reaches on top of the kitchen cupboard 0:17:26.330 --> 0:17:29.889 and pulls down a forty five automatic. He places it 0:17:29.929 --> 0:17:32.729 on the table next to the pie that Steve brought. 0:17:33.649 --> 0:17:34.410 How many guns do. 0:17:34.330 --> 0:17:37.010 You have hitting around the house. There's one over on 0:17:37.050 --> 0:17:39.489 the fireplace downstairs. 0:17:42.330 --> 0:17:48.530 The party, the bottle of windsor the gun. These are 0:17:48.570 --> 0:17:51.409 all parts of the marsh family origin story that Steve 0:17:51.490 --> 0:17:54.290 knows well. But the part of the story that Steve 0:17:54.369 --> 0:17:57.050 has never heard is house parents went from a casual 0:17:57.090 --> 0:17:59.290 fling to a decade's long marriage. 0:18:00.169 --> 0:18:00.369 Him. 0:18:00.449 --> 0:18:06.489 I'm pregnant. I went home and told my mother and 0:18:06.730 --> 0:18:10.249 she flipped out on me. I remember leaving and I 0:18:10.250 --> 0:18:13.169 woods down the basement with my mother in the laundry room. 0:18:13.649 --> 0:18:16.769 I just remember running up the stairs and crying and 0:18:16.810 --> 0:18:19.609 getting in the car and driving back to my apartment 0:18:20.530 --> 0:18:24.249 because I was trash in her mind. 0:18:25.609 --> 0:18:29.210 Jeane came from a strict Catholic family. When she got pregnant, 0:18:29.409 --> 0:18:32.209 her mother told her she could only visit home after dark, 0:18:32.609 --> 0:18:35.609 carrying a coat in front of her stomach. At one 0:18:35.689 --> 0:18:38.850 point during the pregnancy, Jean slipped on the ice and 0:18:38.929 --> 0:18:40.850 had to go to the hospital for hemorrhaging. 0:18:41.649 --> 0:18:45.810 And my mother came into the hospital and said, you 0:18:45.889 --> 0:18:52.049 can't even have a baby, right. I mean, she was 0:18:52.290 --> 0:18:57.209 so disappointed in me. I don't think she ever forgave 0:18:57.290 --> 0:19:01.249 me for that. That's the one thing I said to 0:19:01.290 --> 0:19:04.810 her before she died, is I am sorry for disappointing you. 0:19:07.689 --> 0:19:10.729 Lisia was born premature, so the doctors kept her at 0:19:10.730 --> 0:19:13.689 the hospital for a week. This meant Jean ended up 0:19:13.730 --> 0:19:15.689 spending a week with her newborn daughter. 0:19:17.050 --> 0:19:23.049 I remember holding her and crying and telling her, you 0:19:23.090 --> 0:19:25.209 know that I hoped she'd have a good life and 0:19:26.449 --> 0:19:28.850 said I'm sorry that I couldn't keep her. 0:19:31.409 --> 0:19:34.689 After that week, Jean signed away her parental rights. 0:19:35.689 --> 0:19:38.249 I didn't think I could raise a child by myself. 0:19:38.649 --> 0:19:45.010 But she never said what. He never said, hey, let's 0:19:45.050 --> 0:19:48.010 get married and raise this baby or and I never 0:19:48.090 --> 0:19:52.609 said it either, But his mother, Alice, just took me 0:19:52.770 --> 0:19:55.769 in as this. You know, I felt like I was 0:19:55.850 --> 0:19:59.489 part of the family. So I felt this family loved 0:19:59.570 --> 0:20:02.210 that I wasn't getting from my own family. 0:20:03.169 --> 0:20:07.649 You know, Pete's mom told Jean how much the whole 0:20:07.649 --> 0:20:10.409 family liked her. I hoped she would be the one, 0:20:11.209 --> 0:20:14.489 and that painful time brought Geene and Pete closer. They 0:20:14.570 --> 0:20:18.090 ended up really falling in love, and eventually they did 0:20:18.169 --> 0:20:22.689 get married, and all this time, Lesha, responsible for them 0:20:22.730 --> 0:20:26.409 growing into love together, having three more kids, being a 0:20:26.449 --> 0:20:30.050 family for going on fifty years, was out there somewhere, 0:20:30.570 --> 0:20:33.570 living a different life with a different family. 0:20:33.929 --> 0:20:36.850 And I don't know that Dad and We've never sat 0:20:36.889 --> 0:20:40.810 down like this and talked about it. It's just kind 0:20:40.810 --> 0:20:43.889 of something that happened forty eight years ago. 0:20:52.010 --> 0:20:55.330 For forty eight years, gene Is quietly marked Alisha's birthday 0:20:55.530 --> 0:20:59.129 by repeating the same silent prayer. I hope she's having 0:20:59.169 --> 0:21:03.170 a good life. And it's that hope that ironically made 0:21:03.250 --> 0:21:06.689 Jeane think twice about ever searching for Lesia. She told 0:21:06.689 --> 0:21:09.570 herself that if Flicia was happy, I didn't need to 0:21:09.609 --> 0:21:12.769 disrupt that happiness by introducing her to the Marshes. And 0:21:12.770 --> 0:21:13.770 they're chaos. 0:21:14.250 --> 0:21:19.409 Our family was so loud and so you know, drug 0:21:19.530 --> 0:21:23.369 use and you know, not going to school, and it 0:21:23.449 --> 0:21:27.609 seems like there was always so much going on. Did 0:21:27.609 --> 0:21:32.009 I really want to bring somebody else into that? It 0:21:32.050 --> 0:21:36.770 was problems that I was bringing her into more problems. 0:21:37.689 --> 0:21:38.290 It was hector. 0:21:38.609 --> 0:21:44.290 Yeah, it was more than hectic. See, And I'd go 0:21:44.570 --> 0:21:47.769 do my avon door to door and somebody would say, 0:21:47.970 --> 0:21:49.889 would you like to come in for a minute, and 0:21:49.929 --> 0:21:52.729 I'd sit down, And I always said, it was like 0:21:52.810 --> 0:21:56.130 I was sitting down in their beige. You know, they 0:21:56.169 --> 0:22:01.050 had this peaceful house, neet, nothing out of place. And 0:22:01.449 --> 0:22:05.369 then I'd walk in here and it'd be like jangled. 0:22:07.929 --> 0:22:11.609 So while Steve's motivate for seeking out Lesha is pretty simple, 0:22:12.169 --> 0:22:14.130 he has a sister and he wants to meet her. 0:22:14.770 --> 0:22:18.609 For Jean, it's more complicated. Her greatest hope is that 0:22:18.730 --> 0:22:21.369 Lisha is happy and well, that she did the right 0:22:21.409 --> 0:22:24.409 thing in giving her up. But if Lisha is good, 0:22:24.810 --> 0:22:27.810 didn't fall into drugs, did do well in school, and 0:22:27.889 --> 0:22:30.850 had a good life in the Beije, then trouble wasn't 0:22:30.850 --> 0:22:33.889 something genetic, a fate that runs through the marsh blood. 0:22:34.730 --> 0:22:39.530 It was the Jene's thinking something in the parenting, her parenting. 0:22:48.290 --> 0:22:52.050 I just want I want the kids, more or less, 0:22:52.090 --> 0:22:55.930 to be prepared that she may not want anything. 0:22:55.490 --> 0:22:56.690 To do with us. 0:22:57.209 --> 0:23:00.249 I'm open to meeting her. I'm open to just pictures, 0:23:01.449 --> 0:23:03.810 open to having her tell me I'm a piece of shit. 0:23:04.689 --> 0:23:09.330 That's fine. I'm willing to do whatever she wants. It's 0:23:09.409 --> 0:23:15.010 because I feel the ball is in her court. Worst 0:23:15.050 --> 0:23:17.850 case scenario would be if sh had passed away and 0:23:17.889 --> 0:23:18.530 I never. 0:23:19.970 --> 0:23:20.250 Tried. 0:23:24.770 --> 0:23:26.249 Did you want to have pie? 0:23:26.290 --> 0:23:26.490 Now? 0:23:26.810 --> 0:23:27.010 Oh? 0:23:27.050 --> 0:23:28.929 Should I get the ice cream? You want? Ice cream? 0:23:29.490 --> 0:23:32.409 Steve serves the mixed berry pie that he brought and 0:23:32.490 --> 0:23:33.969 turns us to the matter at hand. 0:23:35.169 --> 0:23:39.929 So do you want to try the writing the letter? Yeah, 0:23:40.129 --> 0:23:41.129 we should do it now. 0:23:41.209 --> 0:23:46.009 So yes, because your mother is a procrastinatory Oh I 0:23:46.050 --> 0:23:48.850 am too, but you probably got it from me. 0:23:51.010 --> 0:23:53.529 If Lisia's the percassionaire too, that's the only way we'll know. 0:23:55.129 --> 0:23:57.890 Jeane finds it easier to talk than to write, so 0:23:57.929 --> 0:24:01.050 Steve offers to type the letter as Jeane speaks it aloud, 0:24:01.609 --> 0:24:04.689 then she can copy it down by hand. Jean stares 0:24:04.730 --> 0:24:06.850 down at the table, trying to get started. 0:24:09.889 --> 0:24:12.170 I don't know what to say. 0:24:12.889 --> 0:24:18.129 I feel bad because we stayed together, right, and I 0:24:18.169 --> 0:24:20.810 feel like it's been forty eight years now. Why you're 0:24:20.810 --> 0:24:22.010 coming around now. 0:24:23.330 --> 0:24:24.449 Is what she'll be thinking. 0:24:25.689 --> 0:24:27.369 Oh, just say hi, how are you? 0:24:33.889 --> 0:24:38.450 I remember your name, I remember your birthday. I remember 0:24:38.490 --> 0:24:44.409 holding you and telling you that I wanted you to 0:24:44.490 --> 0:24:57.730 have a good life. Lisha. I'm stumbling for words, wondering 0:24:57.889 --> 0:25:03.050 how to, probably because it's been so many years. 0:25:05.290 --> 0:25:07.249