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Speaker 1: I would be crying every single day. I didn't want

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Speaker 1: to leave the house. I didn't want to interact with anyone,

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Speaker 1: because all the comments in the hate got to me

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Speaker 1: so bad. South African born model Nara Smith rose to

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Speaker 1: fame after her cooking videos with viral, and her fans

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Speaker 1: have been fascinated with everything in her family life to

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Speaker 1: her style. People love projecting things onto me, and because

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Speaker 1: I cook for my husband that I'm in the kitchen

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Speaker 1: and trapped and I'm just at home and he's the breadwinner,

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Speaker 1: they use me as this poster child of this like

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Speaker 1: very traditional wife.

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Speaker 2: I feel like eighteen is very young to get married.

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Speaker 2: Did you always want to get married young?

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Speaker 1: I never thought about marriage. I never thought about long term.

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Speaker 1: But then when I met Lucky, it kind of just clicked.

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Speaker 2: What gave you that? In a confidence to be able

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Speaker 2: to say I know what I want, I know who

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Speaker 2: I am.

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Speaker 1: And Number one Health and Wellness podcast.

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Speaker 2: Jay Shetty, Jay Shetty, the Only Jay Shetty. Everyone welcome

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Speaker 2: back to on Purpose, the place you come to listen,

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Speaker 2: learn and grow. Today's guest is someone that I've wanted

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Speaker 2: to talk to for quite a while, and I'm so

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Speaker 2: excited that she's finally here in the studio. Today's guest

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Speaker 2: is Nara Azeza Smith, a digital creator and model currently

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Speaker 2: taking the Internet by storm with over fourteen million followers

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Speaker 2: across TikTok and Instagram. As one of the most in

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Speaker 2: demand creators, Nara generates continuous viral content and high engagement

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Speaker 2: across her platforms with beautifully shot content showcasing her culinary talents,

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Speaker 2: paired with curated scenes sharing her lover fashion, beauty, wellness,

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Speaker 2: and motherhood. With her authentic digital presence, Nara has built

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Speaker 2: a strong personal brand and garnered a loyal following that

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Speaker 2: continues to grow. Born and raised in Frankfurt, Germany, Nara

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Speaker 2: now resides in the US with her husband, supermodel Lucky

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Speaker 2: Blue Smith, and their three adorable children. Dive in a

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Speaker 2: Nara's journey balancing her full time career, motherhood, and the

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Speaker 2: journey that she's building. Please welcome to on Purpose, Nara Smith. Nara,

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Speaker 2: what an intro.

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Speaker 1: I'm just sitting here giggling.

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Speaker 2: I was about to add. I was like, we met

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Speaker 2: last year, we did at Paris Fashion Week, Yes, and

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Speaker 2: it was just so nice to me you. I'd been

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Speaker 2: a fan for such a long time.

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Speaker 1: That makes me so happy because I've been listening to

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Speaker 1: your podcast for years now and I didn't even I

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Speaker 1: was who came up to who?

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Speaker 2: I can't remember. I'm pretty sure I came up to you,

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Speaker 2: but I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Maybe so flattered, I was like, you know, who are you?

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Speaker 2: That's how I felt about you.

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Speaker 1: Really.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I couldn't believe that it meant to me. I

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Speaker 2: loved it. And when you said that you loved listening

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Speaker 2: to the podcast, yeah, my instant response was, well, you

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Speaker 2: need to come on. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And it's taken us a second, but we're here now.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and I love it already. Yeah. You know what.

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Speaker 2: For me, it's just I'm fascinated by people who find

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Speaker 2: new ways, creative ways of sharing themselves. And then when

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Speaker 2: I met you in person, You're like this really sweet, endearing, amazing,

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Speaker 2: genuine person and we connected instantly. Yeah, and I felt

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Speaker 2: so comfortable around you, and it felt so easy to

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Speaker 2: be around you. And then you look at your online

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Speaker 2: persona and I'm like, wow, you're like a You're like

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Speaker 2: an actor and a character, and I am it's beautiful

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Speaker 2: to see for someone who doesn't know your content or

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Speaker 2: may have come across it, but doesn't really know you.

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Speaker 2: How would you explain or describe what you actually do online?

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Speaker 1: I always find it so interesting when I get asked

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Speaker 1: that question because to me, it just feels so natural

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Speaker 1: what I do. And I guess it's just me being

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Speaker 1: in the kitchen sharing my love for cooking, but also

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Speaker 1: wearing outfits that you probably typically wouldn't wear in the kitchen,

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Speaker 1: just because I'm a fashion girl at heart. And when

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Speaker 1: I moved to America, I didn't really leave the house

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Speaker 1: a lot because we had kids and then I couldn't

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Speaker 1: work and all of these things. So I was like, well,

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Speaker 1: if I can cook at home in a cool outfit,

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Speaker 1: why not. It's sitting in my closet anyways. So I

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Speaker 1: think that kind of sparked the fashion aspect of my content,

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Speaker 1: and then cooking is just something I feel like I

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Speaker 1: slipped into. Then also learning a lot about myself my

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Speaker 1: health journey that also inspired the from scratch cooking. I

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Speaker 1: feel like that's how I build my audience, and people

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Speaker 1: loved seeing it and tuning in.

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Speaker 2: It is natural, for sure, yeah, but it's so clever

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Speaker 2: and smart and wonderful at the same time. Like you said,

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Speaker 2: no one's used to seeing someone cook a meal from scratch,

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Speaker 2: beeing like a brand new Prada you know, dress or

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Speaker 2: whatever it may be, and you're like dressed in all

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Speaker 2: white while you're like that is risky.

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Speaker 1: The fact that I actually have never spilt anything on

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Speaker 1: myself baffles.

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Speaker 2: No, not even as an outtake.

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Speaker 1: No, not while cooking. But then I sit down and

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Speaker 1: eat and all of a sudden, I've got stuff on me.

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Speaker 1: It's really I don't know how it happens, but fingers

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Speaker 1: crossed that I'm not jinxing it right now.

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Speaker 2: You'd be really disappointed watching me cook.

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Speaker 1: You know what, I think i'd have a laugh because

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Speaker 1: watching Lucky cook in the kitchen is is he terrible? Oh?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that makes me feel so much better.

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Speaker 1: No, he's terrible. The only thing he does know how

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Speaker 1: to make really well as a steak. Usually when it

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Speaker 1: comes to like steak, I'm like, you do it because

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Speaker 1: sometimes I get iffy with it. So he'll do that.

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Speaker 1: I'll do all the rest. And he's a good baker, right.

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Speaker 1: I feel like baking is something that you could get into. Actually,

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Speaker 1: if you're not already into it.

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Speaker 2: No, don't, I'm so bad.

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Speaker 1: You just have to level your spoons and you're fine, right.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm not sure I can do any of that.

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Speaker 2: I'm like a full of mess. There's a video of

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Speaker 2: me RADI always like gets me in the kitchen somehow

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Speaker 2: for videos, and there's a video of me peeling an avocado,

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Speaker 2: which you need to see me the most embarrassing thing.

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Speaker 1: Wait, what do you mean how do you feel it?

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Speaker 2: Well, just watch the video.

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Speaker 1: Okay, we'll check it out.

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Speaker 2: Really embarrassing. It's really bad because I know I can't

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Speaker 2: imagine that up, but it's it's terrible. The reason why

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Speaker 2: I wanted to have you on the show is I

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Speaker 2: also feel that as creators, you get known for a

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Speaker 2: very specific thing. And of course that's your brand, it's

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Speaker 2: who you are, it's your business. But then there's a

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Speaker 2: human behind that, and there's a human story behind that.

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Speaker 2: And I think that's what I've always loved about my

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Speaker 2: show is the lad to get to know the human

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Speaker 2: behind the brand, behind what's working online, behind the creator.

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Speaker 2: And so I know you grew up in Germany. I

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Speaker 2: wanted to ask you, like, what's a childhood experience that

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Speaker 2: you had that you feel really defines who you are

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Speaker 2: today or an experience that stayed with you, I.

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Speaker 1: Think growing up with my German grandma. She passed years ago,

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Speaker 1: but I think she shaped so much of what I

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Speaker 1: love and what I do. So she's kind of the

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Speaker 1: reason that I got into cooking, and I've had an

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Speaker 1: interest in that. She was the one that got me

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Speaker 1: into playing the piano that I played for ten years.

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Speaker 1: She's the one that taught me how to read, and

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Speaker 1: now I can't put down a book and I have

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Speaker 1: never been able to, Like my room was full of

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Speaker 1: books as a child, And I think she's a person

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Speaker 1: that really shaped me and my views on the world.

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Speaker 1: And I think that's something that will always be missed

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Speaker 1: with her not being here anymore. And I wish she

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Speaker 1: could see me now, and I hope she would be proud,

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Speaker 1: but I think she is.

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Speaker 2: How old were you when you lost her, I'm not

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Speaker 2: too sure.

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Speaker 1: I was young. I remember the day she passed. I

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Speaker 1: was actually at home because I wasn't feeling well, and

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Speaker 1: I'm really surprised my parents let me stay home, but

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Speaker 1: I think they saw that I actually wasn't feeling well.

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Speaker 1: And then I remember getting a call on our house

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Speaker 1: telephone at the time, and I just I don't know

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Speaker 1: my heart dropped, which is weird because we got calls

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Speaker 1: all the time. But I just knew my grandma passed

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Speaker 1: in that moment, and I don't know how. So I

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Speaker 1: answered the call and it was the old age home

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Speaker 1: that she was in, and they were like, is your

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Speaker 1: dad home? And in that moment, I just knew because

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Speaker 1: I kind of put two and two together and that

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Speaker 1: was a really sad day. I don't remember exactly how

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Speaker 1: old I was, but I was definitely an elementary or

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Speaker 1: a starting high school.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. And was it something she did or was

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Speaker 2: it how she lived?

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Speaker 1: I think how she lived like she wasn't afraid to

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Speaker 1: do things, she was very independent. She was just so strong.

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Speaker 1: She was such a strong woman, and I think that's

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Speaker 1: what was really inspiring to me.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's so beautiful. I feel like there

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Speaker 2: are so many people around us who've impacted our lives. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: but they never said a thing. No, they didn't tell

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Speaker 2: you how to live. No, they didn't give you advice.

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Speaker 2: It's not that they shared some do with you, but

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Speaker 2: you just felt their presence and their energy and how

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Speaker 2: they carried themselves, especially grandparents. I think Radi has that

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Speaker 2: same connection with her grandmother Yeah, we're still alive, but

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Speaker 2: she just feels her infectious energy when she's around her.

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Speaker 1: And that's something I hope that I will have with

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Speaker 1: my children and my grandkids one day, to where I

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Speaker 1: don't have to say a lot. I can just be

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Speaker 1: me and live authentically like myself, and they'll take away

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Speaker 1: whatever they need to to live their lives in the

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Speaker 1: fullest way.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you remind me of this beautiful quote from Saint Francis,

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Speaker 2: who I love, and he wrote that you know, wherever

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Speaker 2: you go, you should preach. So whenever wherever you travel,

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Speaker 2: you should preach and if necessary, open your mouth. And

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Speaker 2: it's that idea of like we actually preach by not preaching.

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Speaker 2: We preach through our character or our energy, how people

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Speaker 2: feel when they're around us. And that says so much

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Speaker 2: more than the words that come out of our mouth.

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Speaker 2: That does. Yeah, but where did the modeling begin? Because

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Speaker 2: I believe you became a model at fourteen? How did

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Speaker 2: you talk to me about that transition?

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Speaker 1: Of Yeah, so that I actually started Instagram right when

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Speaker 1: it came out, So right when it came out, I

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Speaker 1: was fourteen, well, thirteen, I lied about my age. Oh,

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Speaker 1: because you had to be fourteen I think you had

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Speaker 1: to be fourteen. I just added like a year on.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what it was. Maybe, I mean Instagram

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Speaker 1: literally just came out. That's the generation I'm in. So

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Speaker 1: I never had Facebook, never had anything that came pre Instagram.

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Speaker 1: Instagram was kind of my first s app that I

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Speaker 1: was on and I just posted my stuff and I

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Speaker 1: wanted to become a model. I don't know exactly why

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Speaker 1: or where that came from, but that was kind of

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Speaker 1: stuck in my head. And then there was this hashtag

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Speaker 1: hashtag we love your Genes that IMG models was doing,

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Speaker 1: so I just kept hashtagging my pictures. Nothing really happened.

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Speaker 1: I was just a girl trying to make it somehow.

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Speaker 1: And then they actually one day, the president reached out

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Speaker 1: to me and she wanted digitals and whatever. So my

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Speaker 1: dad and I went around the house did the walking

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Speaker 1: video on like cop. It was so horrible. I don't

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Speaker 1: know what they saw on me. But then a week

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Speaker 1: later I was in Paris signing with them at fourteen,

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Speaker 1: and then I've been with them ever since. I took

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Speaker 1: a little break when my first kid was born, but

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Speaker 1: now we're back and it's great.

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Speaker 2: What gave you the confidence at thirteen to like take

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Speaker 2: pictures post them, Like where was that coming from?

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Speaker 1: I think at that age, at least for me, I

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Speaker 1: had no sense of embarrassment or humility in a way.

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Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, I look great, I'm tall, I'm whatever.

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Speaker 1: Like at that age, I wasn't really insecure about anything,

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Speaker 1: and I think that came later with obviously the modeling

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Speaker 1: industry comes with a lot of your appearance is basically

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Speaker 1: the most important thing. So then all of a sudden

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Speaker 1: you think about all these things, and I think that's

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Speaker 1: where the insecurity came in. And I was blissfully kind

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Speaker 1: of unaware of all my flaws, I guess at that age,

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Speaker 1: which kind of helped me to get to that point.

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Speaker 1: And then after is kind of when the insecurity set in.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so interesting, right. I think that age is

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Speaker 2: also getting younger and younger where insecurity sets in now?

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Speaker 2: Like if you were the generation where Instagram was your

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Speaker 2: first app at thirteen. When I was thirteen, I had

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Speaker 2: a brick phone. I love my Yeah, my life was.

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Speaker 2: My parents got it for me because I used to

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Speaker 2: get a bus home from school on my own, so

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Speaker 2: I could just text my mond or call her and

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Speaker 2: say Hey, ma, I'm on the bus and that was

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Speaker 2: the reason I had it. And you know, you had

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Speaker 2: the like key in your ringtones like there was no

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Speaker 2: you know, there wasn't an app.

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Speaker 1: You had to like trust three times to get the letter.

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Speaker 2: Literally, Yeah, this isn't a smartphone, right, So it's interesting

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Speaker 2: to think how thirteen for me was phones were becoming

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Speaker 2: a thing. Thirteen for you is Instagram thirteen Now.

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Speaker 1: I don't even want to know. That's one of the

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Speaker 1: things that I actually feel really strongly about is protecting

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Speaker 1: my kids from that world and doing everything in my

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Speaker 1: power for them to not be involved in that and

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Speaker 1: whatever way that is. Like, they're not getting smartphones. I mean,

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Speaker 1: they're too young to even have a phone right now.

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Speaker 1: There are three and well baby, and then three and four,

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Speaker 1: so that's not something we're even talking about. But Lucky

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Speaker 1: and I have always said we're never getting them smartphones.

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Speaker 1: We're going to get them a phone that they can

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Speaker 1: call us with and text us with. But also being

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Speaker 1: in the digital space and knowing what the Internet is

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Speaker 1: like and knowing what the modeling industry is like, I

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Speaker 1: would never ever want to subject my kids to that.

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Speaker 1: So that's something that I think I'm like painfully aware

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Speaker 1: of to where I just want to protect them so

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Speaker 1: much because also I think I wasn't protected enough when

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Speaker 1: I was a kid because my parents didn't know any better.

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Speaker 1: They'd never seen Instagram before, they'd never heard about Snapchat,

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Speaker 1: They've never heard about all these different apps that all

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Speaker 1: of a sudden started popping up, and as a kid,

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Speaker 1: you're not very at least I wasn't very forthcoming to

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Speaker 1: my parents about what I was doing on my phone

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Speaker 1: in my room at night. And I think those things

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Speaker 1: are just so important for me to keep my kids

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Speaker 1: away from because of how dangerous the internet can be,

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Speaker 1: especially for young kids.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, how did you your parents feel when you went

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Speaker 2: to Paris? God Signed? What was that like for them?

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Speaker 1: They were really excited. They were so excited for me,

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Speaker 1: because I feel like I also matured quite quickly to

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Speaker 1: where they kind of trusted me and what I was doing,

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Speaker 1: and they let me travel by myself and let me

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Speaker 1: do all these things, which now in hindsight, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: you guys, really you trusted me a lot, But I

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Speaker 1: never misused that or gave them a reason to not,

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Speaker 1: And I think that's what was really important for them

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Speaker 1: in order for me to do what I wanted to do.

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Speaker 1: They were always so supportive as long as I kind

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Speaker 1: of put in the effort to get to where I

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Speaker 1: wanted to get, and they still are. They come and

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Speaker 1: watch the kids. If I have to work, they come

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Speaker 1: and help me do something. If I have to do content,

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Speaker 1: they'll help. Like they've always been so supportive, which I'm

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Speaker 1: really grateful for because I know not everyone has that

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Speaker 1: experience growing up.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's amazing that you were able to mature young,

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Speaker 2: but that they were able to trust you, because that's

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Speaker 2: an interesting balance. I felt like when I was young,

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Speaker 2: I was maturing fast, but my parents it took a

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Speaker 2: second for them to kind of like let go and

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Speaker 2: trust that what I was doing was right. Yeah, and

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Speaker 2: so that is wonderful, But did it ever get unhealthy

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Speaker 2: for you?

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Speaker 1: Like from there, it's never worth it to sacrifice your

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Speaker 1: health and how you feel for something because you are

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Speaker 1: going to be good enough in whatever way you choose

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Speaker 1: to show up. You do not have to try to

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Speaker 1: fit into a mold that someone else is designing just

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Speaker 1: to be good enough for them, because at the end

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Speaker 1: of the day, whenever you've outgrown that mold, you become

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Speaker 1: useless to them instead of just starting off as you

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Speaker 1: and them either accepting it or not, and then you

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Speaker 1: move on if they don't. And I think that's one

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Speaker 1: thing that I'm kind of learning the more I grow up.

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Speaker 1: It's I don't want to fit in someone else's mold.

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Speaker 1: I'll do whatever I want to do. If you want

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Speaker 1: to be on this journey with me, I'd love to

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Speaker 1: have you. If you don't, that is okay, and you

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Speaker 1: can do whatever you want to do. And I think

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Speaker 1: I have had so many unhealthy patterns with eating and

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Speaker 1: my self worth and how I look that. I just

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Speaker 1: I'm happy that I've outgrown that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so well said. And for people who are looking

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Speaker 2: at you and they're like, nah, I want to be

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Speaker 2: a creator. I want to make stuff on TikTok, I

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Speaker 2: want to be on Instagram. I want to be in fashion.

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Speaker 2: I want to be a model. Let's look at some

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Speaker 2: of those lanes right now and break down your advice

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Speaker 2: for people. If someone right now is saying I want

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Speaker 2: to be a model, what should they be thinking about?

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Speaker 2: How should they be approaching that career?

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Speaker 1: I think figuring out what exactly you want to do.

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Speaker 1: There's like different things in modeling, you can be high fashion,

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Speaker 1: you can be commercial, you could be runway, Like, there's

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Speaker 1: so many different things, so figuring out I think it's

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Speaker 1: so important to figure out what you want, what your

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Speaker 1: goals are, and then seeking that. So if you want

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Speaker 1: to be a model, maybe posting on social media, reaching

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Speaker 1: out to agencies, sending in your resume, like really doing

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Speaker 1: things to get to that goal. Obviously feeling and looking

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Speaker 1: the best to you. So don't try to go off

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Speaker 1: and do something that you think agencies will, like, be

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Speaker 1: authentically yourself and if you feel like the best version

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Speaker 1: of yourself, go and reach those goals.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and what about from a content point of view,

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Speaker 2: like what were you posting before you became this version

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Speaker 2: of you online? Like what was your feed?

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Speaker 1: I think it was pretty not pretty similar. Actually, I

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Speaker 1: sprinkled in cooking videos here and there, but they were

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Speaker 1: like super simple, like salads and stuff, because I didn't

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Speaker 1: feel that confident sharing that much of my cooking because

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Speaker 1: I was learning and like cooking anti inflammatory recipes that

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Speaker 1: aren't super interesting. So I sprinkled in the cooking. I

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Speaker 1: did a lot of mourning routines, like the classic like

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Speaker 1: morning routines, evening routines, little fit checks, get dressed with

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Speaker 1: me is. I would do makeup tutorials kind of like

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Speaker 1: a mix of a lot of things, and then cooking

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Speaker 1: kind of started taking off, so I went with that,

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Speaker 1: and now I sprinkle in all the other things here

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Speaker 1: and there.

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Speaker 2: How many videos did you post? Do you remember before

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Speaker 2: you had a viral moment that really made you go

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Speaker 2: oh wow.

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Speaker 1: I don't remember the exact amount of videos, but I

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Speaker 1: do remember. The first video was so random that went viral.

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Speaker 1: It was me filming Lucky. It was like a five

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Speaker 1: second clip of we came back from church and Lucky

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Speaker 1: was in his like shirt and slacks from church, and

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Speaker 1: it was like a random clip of him like cutting

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Speaker 1: an apple, and I said, there was like some text

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Speaker 1: overlay over it, being like I don't even know what

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Speaker 1: the text overlay was. And then I put some like

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Speaker 1: viral song on it, and I got thirty million views,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, I don't know what's happening, but I

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Speaker 1: guess people are finding my husband hot. It's great. So

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Speaker 1: that was the first like viral video and then it

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Speaker 1: like kind of was just random things. But then the

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Speaker 1: first cooking viral video was me making bread butter and

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Speaker 1: peach jam for my kids from scratch, and that's actually

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Speaker 1: the first video. I think that the voice was actually

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Speaker 1: more present because my baby was sleeping next to me

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Speaker 1: and that kind of went off. And then I didn't

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Speaker 1: really think of it though, I didn't really tap into

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Speaker 1: that niche really until a little later on, like months,

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Speaker 1: I did post consistently every single day on TikTok for

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Speaker 1: like a solid year. I never took days off. It

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Speaker 1: was like every day a video would go up. And

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Speaker 1: now I'm a little bit more lenient with it because

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Speaker 1: it's so much calm, and I think people don't understand

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Speaker 1: how much it takes. Like I'm in the kitchen for

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Speaker 1: like five to seven hours every day and then I

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Speaker 1: put my kids to bed and edit for another two hours.

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Speaker 1: Like it does take a lot of time to do

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Speaker 1: what I do. So I'm trying to like give myself

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Speaker 1: a little bit more time off here and there. And

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Speaker 1: now with all of my other work things going on,

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Speaker 1: I'm traveling constantly, I'm doing things. So one piece of

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Speaker 1: advice actually that I do have for people is doing

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Speaker 1: things because you love them, not because they'll perform well.

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Speaker 1: I think that there's like a rule that you can

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Speaker 1: make with yourself of like filming content that you know

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Speaker 1: is going to perform well and sprinkling that in because

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Speaker 1: you want to keep your engagement up. You want to

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Speaker 1: like do that, but then also not getting lost in

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Speaker 1: that and being like, well I hate doing X, Y

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Speaker 1: and Z, but I know it's going to get my

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Speaker 1: views up, and then losing yourself in that and then

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Speaker 1: losing the passion and love that you have for creating content,

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Speaker 1: and then essentially you're putting yourself in this box. You're

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Speaker 1: locking yourself in this box because you think that other

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Speaker 1: people want you to just stay in there, but actually

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Speaker 1: just you doing that instead of you being like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'll post content that's going to perform really well and

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Speaker 1: that I know people will love. But also I love filming.

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Speaker 1: I don't know cleaning, so I'm going to post that

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Speaker 1: as well. Even though it doesn't perform as well, it

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00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:18,080
Speaker 1: fills up my cup. So I think finding the balance

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Speaker 1: of posting good performing content and content that you love

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Speaker 1: and then essentially the content that you love to create

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Speaker 1: is the content that's going to go viral at the

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Speaker 1: end of the day.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's really good advice. Yeah, I think that's really

427
00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:31,920
Speaker 2: honest advice as well, because it is that balance because

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Speaker 2: of the way the algorithm works and everything. And then

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Speaker 2: I did it what you said, did you find that intersection? Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and you keep looking for it. And that's why I

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Speaker 2: wanted to ask you your strategy and your time even

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Speaker 2: earing you're cooking for five to seven hours, Yeah, editing

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Speaker 2: for two hours a day. I think that's very real,

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Speaker 2: and I wanted people to hear that because it wasn't

435
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Speaker 2: like this was the first thing you did and it

436
00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:54,040
Speaker 2: took off. There was loads of other stuff before it.

437
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:56,600
Speaker 1: I've been on social media for ten plus years now,

438
00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:59,600
Speaker 1: so even though the last year has been so crazy

439
00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:03,120
Speaker 1: in term of virality, I've done social media since I've

440
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:06,120
Speaker 1: been fourteen, so it took a lot of trial and error.

441
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:09,239
Speaker 1: I've done a lot of different things. I've fashion has

442
00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:11,560
Speaker 1: been a part of my content for so long, like

443
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:14,240
Speaker 1: ever since I've been fourteen. I started posting outfits back then.

444
00:20:14,359 --> 00:20:18,399
Speaker 1: So I think consistency and just keeping going and doing

445
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:20,920
Speaker 1: what you love and essentially something is going to stick

446
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:23,399
Speaker 1: at some point and you'll kind of tap into that

447
00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:26,159
Speaker 1: and really use that, but then also not to lose

448
00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:29,160
Speaker 1: the other parts that you actually love because it can

449
00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:31,439
Speaker 1: get so easy being like, oh, I'm going to do

450
00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:33,960
Speaker 1: this and I'm going to act crazy like this because

451
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:36,359
Speaker 1: I know it's going to perform, but then losing the

452
00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:39,359
Speaker 1: spark and the love for what you do definitely, and

453
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:41,719
Speaker 1: people are going to see that online. People are going

454
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:44,360
Speaker 1: to people know when you're authentic and know when you're

455
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:47,720
Speaker 1: true to yourself, and they can tell if something gets

456
00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:51,439
Speaker 1: done for the views or the clickbait or whatever it is. Like,

457
00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:55,200
Speaker 1: you want to stay authentically yourself because you want longevity.

458
00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:57,920
Speaker 1: You don't want to be a viral moment that happens

459
00:20:57,920 --> 00:21:00,879
Speaker 1: for six months and then you're done. There's been so

460
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:04,120
Speaker 1: many creators that had that viral moment, but now they're

461
00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:07,960
Speaker 1: nowhere in sight because that's not really they haven't really

462
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:12,120
Speaker 1: built something that is sustainable. So I would take sustainability

463
00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:16,320
Speaker 1: and building a community over going viral and getting the

464
00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:19,800
Speaker 1: followers in numbers quickly, and then just having people that

465
00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:22,520
Speaker 1: tune in because they're interested, not because they actually like

466
00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:24,159
Speaker 1: love and support you and want to be part of

467
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:25,480
Speaker 1: this little family you're building.

468
00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:28,879
Speaker 2: So many people are told when they have a viral

469
00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:31,760
Speaker 2: moment or when things happen, you've got six months, make

470
00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:33,840
Speaker 2: the most of it. And I think so many people

471
00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:36,480
Speaker 2: are given that bad advice. I've had managers, agents, everyone

472
00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:38,840
Speaker 2: say it to people, Hey, you've got twelve months and

473
00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:40,439
Speaker 2: after that you're going to be in relevance, so just

474
00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:42,359
Speaker 2: make the most of it. And I think it's in

475
00:21:42,359 --> 00:21:45,240
Speaker 2: that moment going well, no, I love this, Like I'm

476
00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:47,119
Speaker 2: going to allow this to pursue my passions. I'm not

477
00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:49,640
Speaker 2: just going to keep doing the same thing because someone

478
00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:51,680
Speaker 2: keeps telling me just do your thing. I'm going to

479
00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:54,040
Speaker 2: see how this can build and you can actually then

480
00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:56,359
Speaker 2: have a longer career, whereas, like you said, if you

481
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:59,320
Speaker 2: just lean into that fad, then that's going to go

482
00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:00,760
Speaker 2: away and it's not sustainable.

483
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:04,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think building something on what you love

484
00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:07,680
Speaker 1: instead of what's trending or viral or whatever, and people

485
00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:08,840
Speaker 1: are going to stick around for that.

486
00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:09,840
Speaker 2: Yeah.

487
00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:13,000
Speaker 1: There's people that have been like big content creators for

488
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:16,359
Speaker 1: twenty plus years now they're like, they're doing great, And

489
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:19,840
Speaker 1: I think it's because they love what they do. It's

490
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:22,280
Speaker 1: because they wake up every single day and want to

491
00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:24,720
Speaker 1: do what they do because they see the fun in it,

492
00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:27,000
Speaker 1: not because they had a viral moment and did whatever

493
00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:30,680
Speaker 1: it took to get there, and then what you know.

494
00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:34,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, what's exciting you right now? Like what you've

495
00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:37,199
Speaker 2: got so much going on? What about it is just

496
00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:39,560
Speaker 2: bringing you joy and bringing you life.

497
00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:41,760
Speaker 1: I think being in a position where I feel like

498
00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:44,320
Speaker 1: I get to do exactly what I've always wanted to do,

499
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:47,679
Speaker 1: Like I get to travel and do my fashion stuff

500
00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:50,800
Speaker 1: and be in campaigns and do other things that I

501
00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:53,639
Speaker 1: can't talk about just yet, but that I know people

502
00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:56,439
Speaker 1: have been asking me for for so long that I

503
00:22:56,480 --> 00:23:00,080
Speaker 1: can finally dedicate time to and really get something beautifully done.

504
00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:03,679
Speaker 1: So I think just being in a position a feeling

505
00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:07,200
Speaker 1: immense gratitude to be able to fulfill all of my

506
00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:11,159
Speaker 1: dreams and living this like reality that I've always dreamt

507
00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:13,639
Speaker 1: about ever since being a child, and I just feel

508
00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:15,760
Speaker 1: very privileged and grateful to be able to do that.

509
00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:19,119
Speaker 2: You deserve it, Thank you, I think anyone who's listening

510
00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:21,240
Speaker 2: right now, Like, I'm sure that advice applies to so

511
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:24,160
Speaker 2: many people in so many different walks of life. Where

512
00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:27,600
Speaker 2: everyone can think of something they pretended to be or

513
00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:30,600
Speaker 2: tried to be or wanted to be because someone else

514
00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:31,040
Speaker 2: wanted that.

515
00:23:31,119 --> 00:23:31,840
Speaker 1: How exhausting?

516
00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:32,200
Speaker 2: Is that?

517
00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:35,359
Speaker 1: So exhausting? It's not worth it.

518
00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:38,280
Speaker 2: It's not worth it. But it almost, like you said.

519
00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:40,280
Speaker 2: I love the way you explained it really simply where

520
00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:43,400
Speaker 2: it was like I thought being a model meant you're beautiful,

521
00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:45,800
Speaker 2: and I think that's what we will say. I thought

522
00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:48,400
Speaker 2: going to a good college meant I was successful. Yeah.

523
00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:51,000
Speaker 2: I thought getting a good job out of college meant

524
00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:53,240
Speaker 2: I was going to be rich, and that meant I

525
00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:55,919
Speaker 2: was important, Right, whatever it is, we all have our

526
00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:58,399
Speaker 2: own formula of what we were told and what we

527
00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:01,400
Speaker 2: thought we had to live up to. Like I genuinely

528
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:04,399
Speaker 2: believed that if I went to a good college and

529
00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:06,399
Speaker 2: I got a good degree and I got a good job,

530
00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:09,560
Speaker 2: then that would mean my life was on track. And

531
00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:11,280
Speaker 2: if I didn't do that, then that would mean my

532
00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:13,520
Speaker 2: life was not on trip. So that was my version

533
00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:16,760
Speaker 2: of yours. And I was very lucky that I started

534
00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:19,840
Speaker 2: breaking it quite early as well. You said it was

535
00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:23,400
Speaker 2: me and lucky that started to break that down for you. Yeah,

536
00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:25,840
Speaker 2: how did you guys? Meant how did you connect? Yeah?

537
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:28,600
Speaker 1: He sent me WEDM for a little bit and then

538
00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:31,560
Speaker 1: we exchanged phone numbers and he was the crappiest texter,

539
00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:33,840
Speaker 1: Like he was so bad at texting to the point

540
00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:36,159
Speaker 1: where I just wanted to be done. I'm like, I

541
00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:38,679
Speaker 1: don't even care about talking to this guy anymore. And

542
00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:41,440
Speaker 1: then one day he said, I'm going on a camping trip.

543
00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:43,560
Speaker 1: I won't have service, but when i'm back, I would

544
00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:45,760
Speaker 1: love to just hop on a phone call. And in

545
00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:48,640
Speaker 1: my mind, I'm like, okay, sure, whatever, because I would

546
00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:50,800
Speaker 1: prefer a phone call anyways. I'm not a great Texter,

547
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:53,400
Speaker 1: but I kind of thought that he was just saying that.

548
00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:55,520
Speaker 1: But then he got back from his camping trip and

549
00:24:55,600 --> 00:24:58,800
Speaker 1: he actually called me and we were on the phone

550
00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:02,960
Speaker 1: for seven hours straight on that phone call. And I

551
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:05,080
Speaker 1: don't know what happened after that phone call, but it

552
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:08,359
Speaker 1: just felt like I couldn't be without him anymore. So

553
00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:10,960
Speaker 1: from that day on, we were on the phone every

554
00:25:11,119 --> 00:25:14,280
Speaker 1: single day, and when we weren't talking, we were just

555
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:15,919
Speaker 1: sleeping on the phone, like the phone would be next

556
00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:18,040
Speaker 1: thing and I'd just be sleeping. Because we also had

557
00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:20,320
Speaker 1: a time difference where I lived in Germany and he

558
00:25:20,359 --> 00:25:22,439
Speaker 1: lived in la so it was a little bit of

559
00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:24,840
Speaker 1: a struggle, but we still made it work every single day.

560
00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:28,199
Speaker 1: And then two weeks after that initial phone call, I

561
00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:30,120
Speaker 1: told him I'd be in Milan because I was walking

562
00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:32,399
Speaker 1: a fashion show and he was like, me too, what

563
00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:35,480
Speaker 1: fashion show? And it ended up being the same one

564
00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:38,240
Speaker 1: that I was walking that he was attending. So that

565
00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:40,280
Speaker 1: was the first time we met in person. And then

566
00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:42,520
Speaker 1: that same day he asked me to be his girlfriend.

567
00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:44,919
Speaker 1: He met my parents for the first time, asked my

568
00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:47,600
Speaker 1: dad to marry me when he met him the first time.

569
00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:51,400
Speaker 1: Then I flew to La met his parents. Two days

570
00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:54,080
Speaker 1: later we were engaged, and then two months after that

571
00:25:54,119 --> 00:25:57,280
Speaker 1: I believe we were married. So it was so crazy,

572
00:25:57,359 --> 00:25:59,520
Speaker 1: so quick, but so great, and now here we are

573
00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:00,320
Speaker 1: five years later.

574
00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:05,359
Speaker 2: That's Beautifulah, that's amazing. That's that's a true like rocket

575
00:26:05,359 --> 00:26:05,840
Speaker 2: shit like.

576
00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:08,600
Speaker 1: No, it truly was, and a lot of people were

577
00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:12,080
Speaker 1: really questioning whether we were saying and doing it this quick.

578
00:26:12,240 --> 00:26:14,240
Speaker 1: But I wouldn't have changed it for the world. It's

579
00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:14,720
Speaker 1: been great.

580
00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:17,720
Speaker 2: Before we dive into the next moment, let's hear from

581
00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:22,119
Speaker 2: our sponsors and back to our episode. That feeling of

582
00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:25,160
Speaker 2: when you know you know is such a like interesting thing,

583
00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:26,879
Speaker 2: and there's something about what you just said though, Like

584
00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:31,480
Speaker 2: I remember when me and Radifirst met, she was at college,

585
00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:35,760
Speaker 2: she was doing her second degree, and I just left

586
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:39,080
Speaker 2: a monastery like six months before, and so we literally

587
00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:43,440
Speaker 2: I saw her every day until I got a job,

588
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:45,919
Speaker 2: and so I would go to her college, but I

589
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:48,639
Speaker 2: love love we would, Yeah, I would go to college.

590
00:26:49,119 --> 00:26:53,399
Speaker 2: I would sit in the library and apply for jobs

591
00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:56,119
Speaker 2: online and fill out my resume and all that kind

592
00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:59,000
Speaker 2: of stuff. She'd go to her lectures, then she'd come back.

593
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:01,760
Speaker 2: We'd hang out in between, have lunch together. And I

594
00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:04,920
Speaker 2: did that every single day, and it was so beautiful

595
00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:07,119
Speaker 2: because we've really got to know each other because we

596
00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:09,680
Speaker 2: spend so much normal time together. Yea, even when we

597
00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:11,280
Speaker 2: started hanging out, we barely went out on a date,

598
00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:13,400
Speaker 2: Like that was how we dated. And I was hanging

599
00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:16,080
Speaker 2: out with her friends. They'd come and join us, and

600
00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:18,960
Speaker 2: it's like, you get such a real perspective of who

601
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:21,280
Speaker 2: that person is. Yeah, as opposed to, oh, I see

602
00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:24,080
Speaker 2: you once a week. We dress up for this day. Right,

603
00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:26,560
Speaker 2: you know, maybe I spend like an hour and a

604
00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:28,520
Speaker 2: half two hours with you, But when you're talking to

605
00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:30,840
Speaker 2: someone for seven hours a day, when we're spending like

606
00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:33,200
Speaker 2: seven hours a day together, yeah, you get a different

607
00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:35,320
Speaker 2: sense of who that person is. And you can only

608
00:27:35,359 --> 00:27:37,440
Speaker 2: do that when you're young. Yeah, like, if I was

609
00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:39,719
Speaker 2: dating now at this age in my life, I couldn't

610
00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:42,320
Speaker 2: even spend that much time with someone because there's so

611
00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:43,080
Speaker 2: much going on.

612
00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:46,000
Speaker 1: Yeah. Also today, like dating nowadays, I feel like is

613
00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:47,840
Speaker 1: so different because a lot of my friends are dating

614
00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:50,520
Speaker 1: and they're like, I met this person on Hinge or Tinder,

615
00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:52,720
Speaker 1: and I never had any of those apps because I

616
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:56,040
Speaker 1: never really thought about it. Because it also happened so quick.

617
00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:58,880
Speaker 1: I was eighteen at the time. I got married at eighteen,

618
00:27:59,440 --> 00:28:02,919
Speaker 1: so in my mind, I was not really at that

619
00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:05,800
Speaker 1: point that they're at now. And I always think it's

620
00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:09,399
Speaker 1: so interesting to see people dating nowadays. It feels almost intimidating,

621
00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:11,440
Speaker 1: and I'm very lucky I'm not in that position.

622
00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:12,760
Speaker 2: It's hard.

623
00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:14,160
Speaker 1: I couldn't imagine.

624
00:28:14,359 --> 00:28:16,679
Speaker 2: It's hard. What advice do you have for your friends?

625
00:28:16,680 --> 00:28:19,080
Speaker 2: What they do they ask you for advice and thoughts?

626
00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:22,760
Speaker 1: Actually don't because the thing is with Lucky and I,

627
00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:26,119
Speaker 1: it went so quick, and I told him I remember

628
00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:28,760
Speaker 1: when he asked me to be his girlfriend. I told him,

629
00:28:28,760 --> 00:28:31,600
Speaker 1: I'm going to take this very serious, So are you

630
00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:33,480
Speaker 1: sure you want to ask me this? Because to me,

631
00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:36,639
Speaker 1: I never wanted to date just to date, and I

632
00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:39,600
Speaker 1: think now with all of my friends, they love dating,

633
00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:41,800
Speaker 1: they love the process of it. For me, personally, I

634
00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:44,760
Speaker 1: always hated it because I felt like I had to

635
00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:46,560
Speaker 1: open up to all these people and get to know

636
00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:48,560
Speaker 1: these people just for it to not work out, and

637
00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:51,160
Speaker 1: it felt like a waste of time for me. So

638
00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:55,120
Speaker 1: with Lucky, I told him when it became serious, like,

639
00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:57,479
Speaker 1: I take this very serious. It's either going to end

640
00:28:57,480 --> 00:28:59,520
Speaker 1: in marriage or we're just going to be done now

641
00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:01,400
Speaker 1: because I'm not going to invest my time in you

642
00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:04,000
Speaker 1: if that's not the ultimate goal. And he was like, yeah,

643
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:06,200
Speaker 1: we're aligned, and we truly were.

644
00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:09,520
Speaker 2: So how were you so confident and sure of that

645
00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:12,360
Speaker 2: at eighteen? Like I feel like eighteen is very young

646
00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:15,000
Speaker 2: to get married in terms of if you look at trends, Yeah,

647
00:29:15,040 --> 00:29:16,920
Speaker 2: Like did you always want to get married young? Was

648
00:29:16,920 --> 00:29:17,719
Speaker 2: that always part of them?

649
00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:21,960
Speaker 1: Which is really odd because I had a relationship before Lucky,

650
00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:25,760
Speaker 1: and I never felt that way towards my previous partner.

651
00:29:26,120 --> 00:29:29,520
Speaker 1: I never thought about marriage, I never thought about long term,

652
00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:32,360
Speaker 1: and I think it just was because I wasn't in

653
00:29:32,360 --> 00:29:34,720
Speaker 1: love with him and it wasn't the right person that

654
00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:36,480
Speaker 1: I felt like I could spend the rest of my

655
00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:39,080
Speaker 1: life with. But then when I met Lucky, it kind

656
00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:42,600
Speaker 1: of just clicked, and I just thought, we're either going

657
00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:45,360
Speaker 1: to do this or we're not. And I think I

658
00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:47,440
Speaker 1: don't know. I feel like I've always been a little

659
00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:50,800
Speaker 1: bit more mature for my age than a person at

660
00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:53,640
Speaker 1: my age would be. And I've always wanted different things

661
00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:56,720
Speaker 1: in life than other people. I always wanted to start

662
00:29:56,720 --> 00:29:58,520
Speaker 1: a family, I wanted to have a slower life. I

663
00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:01,880
Speaker 1: wanted to get married younger. I wanted to work and

664
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:04,719
Speaker 1: build something for my kids. And I never my priorities

665
00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:08,520
Speaker 1: were never in like partying or going out or dating

666
00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:11,920
Speaker 1: around or going on a lot of fun vacations. My

667
00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:16,440
Speaker 1: priorities were a little different. So I think maybe subconsciously

668
00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:19,280
Speaker 1: aligned my values and what I wanted with how I

669
00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:20,320
Speaker 1: shape my life.

670
00:30:20,680 --> 00:30:23,480
Speaker 2: That's so such a conscious way to live. Yeah, Like,

671
00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:25,160
Speaker 2: it's such an intentional way to live.

672
00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:25,640
Speaker 1: Yeah.

673
00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:27,480
Speaker 2: Like for you to even be able to communicate to

674
00:30:27,560 --> 00:30:31,720
Speaker 2: him at eighteen and say, hey, dude, if you don't

675
00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:35,120
Speaker 2: want to be serious about this, I'm not in like,

676
00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:37,360
Speaker 2: and also for him to receive it too, Yeah, it

677
00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:39,360
Speaker 2: takes a lot from him. There's a lot of maturity

678
00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:41,160
Speaker 2: on his side too, because I think a lot of

679
00:30:41,160 --> 00:30:43,200
Speaker 2: people would say yeah, of course, and then you know,

680
00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:46,120
Speaker 2: leave six months later or whatever it is. But for

681
00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:51,400
Speaker 2: you to have that confidence and self worth, yeah, to

682
00:30:51,520 --> 00:30:53,080
Speaker 2: actually be able to say that. I think a lot

683
00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:56,200
Speaker 2: of people at eighteen struggle, yeah, to actually say what

684
00:30:56,240 --> 00:30:58,440
Speaker 2: they want and need because they're scared of the guy

685
00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:00,960
Speaker 2: or the girl running off, and so we pretend and

686
00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:03,560
Speaker 2: we're like, oh, you want something casual, share, sure, I'll

687
00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:06,080
Speaker 2: be that casual, right, or like, oh you want something seriously,

688
00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:08,680
Speaker 2: I'll pretend to be serious. But six months from now

689
00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:12,320
Speaker 2: I've gone away. So where do you think that came from?

690
00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:15,720
Speaker 2: Like what gave you that inner confidence to be able

691
00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:17,160
Speaker 2: to say, no, I know what I want, I know

692
00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:19,440
Speaker 2: who I am. Can you reflect for a second on

693
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:22,240
Speaker 2: where you think that originated from?

694
00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:25,880
Speaker 1: It probably was my dad. I think he's always been

695
00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:29,640
Speaker 1: very supportive in whatever I wanted to do, and he's

696
00:31:29,760 --> 00:31:31,840
Speaker 1: very type ased, so he's from a young age he

697
00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:35,120
Speaker 1: told us start saving, get a job, do these things.

698
00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:38,880
Speaker 1: And I think he's instilled these like very strong values

699
00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:42,400
Speaker 1: in me to where I knew exactly what I wanted,

700
00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:46,440
Speaker 1: and also having finished high school and being in a

701
00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:48,080
Speaker 1: place where I kind of had to figure out what

702
00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:50,680
Speaker 1: I wanted to do with my life, and then meeting

703
00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:52,560
Speaker 1: someone and being like this is going to work out

704
00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:54,600
Speaker 1: or you're going to waste my time. I just felt

705
00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:58,280
Speaker 1: like I knew what I wanted, and I think turning

706
00:31:58,320 --> 00:32:00,280
Speaker 1: eighteen gave me that confidence. I was like, I'm an

707
00:32:00,280 --> 00:32:02,640
Speaker 1: adult now, I can do whatever I want and I

708
00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:05,000
Speaker 1: better do it good. And I think that also gave

709
00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:07,480
Speaker 1: me that confidence to where I could make my own

710
00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:10,640
Speaker 1: decisions now and I didn't have to rely on anyone

711
00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:13,160
Speaker 1: or anything to make those decisions for me. So as

712
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:14,959
Speaker 1: soon as I turned eighteen, I was like, Okay, this

713
00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:16,960
Speaker 1: is what I want my life to be. If you

714
00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:19,240
Speaker 1: want to be a part of it, great, If you don't, great,

715
00:32:19,800 --> 00:32:22,800
Speaker 1: I don't know. I wanted it to serve me and

716
00:32:22,880 --> 00:32:25,840
Speaker 1: I wanted a partner to fit into my life and

717
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:28,760
Speaker 1: add to my life and it not feel like a

718
00:32:28,840 --> 00:32:31,479
Speaker 1: compromise because I feel like I had everything I wanted.

719
00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:34,360
Speaker 1: I had my family, I had my friends, I was

720
00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:38,080
Speaker 1: really happy, I had work things that I wanted to do,

721
00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:40,680
Speaker 1: I was traveling for work, I was busy. So to me,

722
00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:43,960
Speaker 1: it felt like, if I'm going to commit to being

723
00:32:43,960 --> 00:32:47,080
Speaker 1: in a relationship with a partner, you're either going to

724
00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:50,680
Speaker 1: add to my life or you're not a value to me,

725
00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:54,040
Speaker 1: not in a negative way, but more so, I don't

726
00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:56,760
Speaker 1: want to pour my energy into someone and spend all

727
00:32:56,800 --> 00:32:59,520
Speaker 1: of this time with someone that ultimately is not going

728
00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:01,840
Speaker 1: to add anything to my life.

729
00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:04,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's really smart. I mean, it makes so much sense. Yeah,

730
00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:06,080
Speaker 2: and when you say it like that, I probably haven't

731
00:33:06,120 --> 00:33:08,000
Speaker 2: thought about it like that for a long time. But

732
00:33:08,080 --> 00:33:10,720
Speaker 2: as I'm listening to him, thinking, you're so right. Yeah,

733
00:33:10,760 --> 00:33:15,959
Speaker 2: we waste so much time, money, energy on people that

734
00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:18,280
Speaker 2: are not going to be in our life for longer

735
00:33:18,320 --> 00:33:21,680
Speaker 2: than six to twelve months, and maybe they're around for

736
00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:23,880
Speaker 2: a bit longer. But I think about it all the time,

737
00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:26,040
Speaker 2: the amount of money I wasted on days, on the

738
00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:29,560
Speaker 2: amount of energy I wasted thinking about whether that person

739
00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:32,960
Speaker 2: was going to message me back, all of that, And

740
00:33:33,080 --> 00:33:34,600
Speaker 2: of course we all have to learn and we all

741
00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:36,800
Speaker 2: have certain things to go through, but there is a

742
00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:40,280
Speaker 2: wisdom in let's be really clear about what we're both

743
00:33:40,320 --> 00:33:43,880
Speaker 2: investing here. What was different about Lucky that you hadn't

744
00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:47,360
Speaker 2: experienced before that made you feel so confident with him?

745
00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:50,719
Speaker 2: As you said, you didn't really sense that before, so

746
00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:52,840
Speaker 2: you knew that it was something special. But what was

747
00:33:52,880 --> 00:33:55,840
Speaker 2: it about him that you feel now when you're looking

748
00:33:55,880 --> 00:33:58,959
Speaker 2: back that really resonated at that eighteen year old age.

749
00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:03,800
Speaker 1: I think it felt like it was two complete people

750
00:34:03,840 --> 00:34:07,880
Speaker 1: coming together and forming a unity. It wasn't like I

751
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:10,759
Speaker 1: had everything figured out and he didn't, or he had

752
00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:12,759
Speaker 1: everything figured out and I didn't. I felt like we

753
00:34:12,760 --> 00:34:15,040
Speaker 1: were both in places of our life, him coming out

754
00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:17,840
Speaker 1: of whatever he was going through and coming out the

755
00:34:17,920 --> 00:34:20,520
Speaker 1: other end, and him being in a place to be

756
00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:23,000
Speaker 1: able to be in a relationship and me feeling the

757
00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:25,840
Speaker 1: same way. And I think that's what really attracted me

758
00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:30,520
Speaker 1: to him, him being in a good place mentally, physically,

759
00:34:30,640 --> 00:34:33,880
Speaker 1: emotionally to be able to have a relationship, and also

760
00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:35,960
Speaker 1: being honest with me. I think what attracted me to

761
00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:38,759
Speaker 1: him was his honesty, Like he would never tell me

762
00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:42,040
Speaker 1: something that he wouldn't be able to do, so when

763
00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:44,160
Speaker 1: I told him I wanted it to be serious. I

764
00:34:44,239 --> 00:34:46,920
Speaker 1: trusted him enough for him to tell me that's going

765
00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:48,399
Speaker 1: to work for me or it's not going to work

766
00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:50,600
Speaker 1: for me. And I think that's something I've never had before,

767
00:34:50,640 --> 00:34:52,840
Speaker 1: because a lot of the guys that I dated or

768
00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:55,360
Speaker 1: had been with, they tell me exactly what I wanted

769
00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:58,279
Speaker 1: to hear, but I knew in my heart that that

770
00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:01,120
Speaker 1: actually wasn't the reality, and there actions didn't line up

771
00:35:01,120 --> 00:35:03,719
Speaker 1: with what they said, So that was really important to me.

772
00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:07,480
Speaker 1: And then also that our values aligned. We talked about

773
00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:10,640
Speaker 1: kids and money and family and our view of life

774
00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:13,480
Speaker 1: and religion and all of these big topics I feel

775
00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:16,280
Speaker 1: like on our first phone call. So there was never

776
00:35:17,520 --> 00:35:20,799
Speaker 1: a part in our journey where anything was unclear. We

777
00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:23,799
Speaker 1: knew exactly where we stood, We knew kind of what

778
00:35:24,320 --> 00:35:27,439
Speaker 1: would be deal breakers for each of us, and weirdly enough,

779
00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:32,520
Speaker 1: everything aligned without it being hard or difficult or being conflicting.

780
00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:35,160
Speaker 1: We wanted to have a lot of kids together, we

781
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:38,720
Speaker 1: wanted to both be working, We wanted to build something

782
00:35:38,719 --> 00:35:41,520
Speaker 1: for our children. We wanted to do all of these things,

783
00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:43,840
Speaker 1: and it just aligned so perfectly.

784
00:35:44,239 --> 00:35:47,480
Speaker 2: It's remarkable, Like it's ually a blessing. No, it is.

785
00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:50,799
Speaker 2: It's such a blessing. And the truth is, even though

786
00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:52,320
Speaker 2: you were able to pull it off at such a

787
00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:56,480
Speaker 2: young age, for people who found valuable relationships, whether they're eighteen,

788
00:35:56,560 --> 00:36:00,000
Speaker 2: twenty eight or thirty eight or forty, yeah, they found

789
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:02,759
Speaker 2: it because of the same reason. The values in the

790
00:36:02,840 --> 00:36:07,719
Speaker 2: vision piece is at the center of any successful relationship,

791
00:36:07,719 --> 00:36:09,680
Speaker 2: no matter what age you meet at. So the fact

792
00:36:09,719 --> 00:36:12,360
Speaker 2: that you figured it out young, yeah, just means you

793
00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:15,040
Speaker 2: save time. But the truth is those are the same

794
00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:18,320
Speaker 2: things that everyone else has to be thinking about about

795
00:36:18,320 --> 00:36:21,120
Speaker 2: the values and vision. We just had Benny and Selena

796
00:36:21,160 --> 00:36:24,799
Speaker 2: on the podcast to it talking about their relationship, and

797
00:36:25,120 --> 00:36:26,839
Speaker 2: I think it was the first time people could see

798
00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:29,560
Speaker 2: that their values and the way they treat each other

799
00:36:29,640 --> 00:36:32,359
Speaker 2: and it's not who you love, it's how they love

800
00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:34,680
Speaker 2: you and how you love them back. And I think

801
00:36:34,719 --> 00:36:37,560
Speaker 2: people got to see that for the first time. Whereas

802
00:36:37,920 --> 00:36:41,000
Speaker 2: we're so bad at knowing whether people are good together, yeah,

803
00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:45,240
Speaker 2: because we base it on such insignificant information and data

804
00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:47,919
Speaker 2: that you don't have, Whereas when a relationship is based

805
00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:52,080
Speaker 2: on vision and values, it naturally has a healthier or

806
00:36:52,120 --> 00:36:53,600
Speaker 2: a more likelihood of working out.

807
00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:56,839
Speaker 1: And I think it's also about compromise, even if your

808
00:36:56,960 --> 00:37:00,720
Speaker 1: values align or your vision of life align. I think marriage,

809
00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:03,279
Speaker 1: you probably know, is always a give and take and

810
00:37:03,320 --> 00:37:07,319
Speaker 1: a compromise and a listening to and maybe shifting not

811
00:37:07,440 --> 00:37:09,600
Speaker 1: your core beliefs, but shifting the way you want to

812
00:37:09,640 --> 00:37:12,640
Speaker 1: go about things. I think marriage is a collaboration between

813
00:37:12,640 --> 00:37:15,839
Speaker 1: two people. That's how I view it, and I think

814
00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:18,400
Speaker 1: that a lot of people nowadays it's like, oh, he

815
00:37:18,440 --> 00:37:21,520
Speaker 1: gave me the ick and I'm just done, or he

816
00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:23,719
Speaker 1: didn't do X, Y and Z, so I'm going to

817
00:37:23,719 --> 00:37:26,799
Speaker 1: ghost him. And I think, at least in marriage, for me,

818
00:37:27,719 --> 00:37:30,560
Speaker 1: that's not a thing like we chose to get married.

819
00:37:30,600 --> 00:37:32,800
Speaker 1: We chose to be with each other for better or

820
00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:35,600
Speaker 1: for worse. And obviously there's things that once you live

821
00:37:35,719 --> 00:37:37,960
Speaker 1: together and once you have your first fight, and once

822
00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:41,000
Speaker 1: you figure out things you've never encountered before, there is

823
00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:42,759
Speaker 1: going to be conflict and there is going to be

824
00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:45,440
Speaker 1: a difference of opinion. But I think it's all about

825
00:37:45,480 --> 00:37:48,319
Speaker 1: how you go about that and how you resolve that

826
00:37:48,360 --> 00:37:51,279
Speaker 1: issue with your partner that makes you have a really

827
00:37:51,320 --> 00:37:54,000
Speaker 1: strong bond. And I think Lucky and I we've been

828
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:56,480
Speaker 1: married for five years now, and in the beginning, obviously

829
00:37:56,480 --> 00:37:58,880
Speaker 1: everything was blissful. We didn't really think about things. But

830
00:37:58,920 --> 00:38:01,560
Speaker 1: then we had our first child nine months after being married,

831
00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:04,440
Speaker 1: and all of a sudden everything changed. Because you have

832
00:38:04,480 --> 00:38:07,279
Speaker 1: another human being, you go through pregnancy, you go through

833
00:38:07,320 --> 00:38:10,200
Speaker 1: all these different things, and I think it was really

834
00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:12,879
Speaker 1: us learning how to communicate better, how to be there

835
00:38:12,880 --> 00:38:14,840
Speaker 1: for each other, how to be less stubborn, how to

836
00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:18,239
Speaker 1: be more loving and compassionate. And I think compassion is

837
00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:22,560
Speaker 1: such an important and vital part of at least our marriage,

838
00:38:22,880 --> 00:38:25,200
Speaker 1: and I think that's something that we had to kind

839
00:38:25,239 --> 00:38:29,160
Speaker 1: of learn to have. Not that we've always been compassionate

840
00:38:29,200 --> 00:38:31,960
Speaker 1: people and loving people, but when you get hurt, or

841
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:34,680
Speaker 1: you have emotions or feel anger or rage or whatever,

842
00:38:34,719 --> 00:38:38,080
Speaker 1: it's hard to be compassionate towards the other person. But

843
00:38:38,480 --> 00:38:41,680
Speaker 1: we've both learned that even though we can still have

844
00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:44,000
Speaker 1: our own emotions, I can still be angry at lucky

845
00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:47,400
Speaker 1: and be compassionate towards how he's feeling for that situation

846
00:38:47,520 --> 00:38:49,719
Speaker 1: and want to find a resolution. That doesn't mean I

847
00:38:49,760 --> 00:38:52,359
Speaker 1: can't be angry or feel my feelings. So I think

848
00:38:52,360 --> 00:38:55,520
Speaker 1: it's all about figuring out how you work together as

849
00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:58,280
Speaker 1: a team to really be able to have a really

850
00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:03,360
Speaker 1: strong relationship everything else that goes on, work, kids, whatever

851
00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:03,840
Speaker 1: it may be.

852
00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:06,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, And that's what love is, right Like, I think

853
00:39:06,160 --> 00:39:09,719
Speaker 2: love is that ability to say there's space for both

854
00:39:09,719 --> 00:39:13,000
Speaker 2: of our emotions. Yes, there's space for my anger and

855
00:39:13,040 --> 00:39:17,240
Speaker 2: your sadness, and there's space for compassion. At the same

856
00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:19,920
Speaker 2: time as me needing distance or whatever it may be.

857
00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:22,840
Speaker 2: And that's what love is, like, it's far more nuanced

858
00:39:22,840 --> 00:39:25,879
Speaker 2: and complex. Yeah, I love you, it doesn't matter, which

859
00:39:25,920 --> 00:39:29,280
Speaker 2: is kind of like, well, that does make sense because.

860
00:39:28,320 --> 00:39:30,480
Speaker 1: You're going to feel resentful somewhere down the line, and

861
00:39:30,520 --> 00:39:33,920
Speaker 1: we don't want that to happen. And I think with relationships,

862
00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:36,120
Speaker 1: it's all a give and take. You're always learning. And

863
00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:39,600
Speaker 1: I think that's something that I found so beautiful about marriage,

864
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:42,400
Speaker 1: which is also why it attracted me to being married,

865
00:39:42,520 --> 00:39:45,839
Speaker 1: is you're in it for better or for worse, and

866
00:39:45,960 --> 00:39:48,800
Speaker 1: you really get to make that commitment to your partner

867
00:39:49,239 --> 00:39:51,680
Speaker 1: to really just see them through life and for them

868
00:39:51,719 --> 00:39:53,960
Speaker 1: to see you through life, and to really lean on

869
00:39:54,040 --> 00:39:57,359
Speaker 1: each other. And I think that's something I wish more

870
00:39:57,400 --> 00:40:01,520
Speaker 1: people got to experience because nowadays everything so quick. Social

871
00:40:01,520 --> 00:40:03,759
Speaker 1: media is such a massive thing to where you get

872
00:40:03,800 --> 00:40:07,279
Speaker 1: that instant gratification of dming someone or being on a

873
00:40:07,360 --> 00:40:09,439
Speaker 1: dating profile to where you just swipe and you're done

874
00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:12,200
Speaker 1: with that person. So I think being really locked in

875
00:40:12,320 --> 00:40:13,799
Speaker 1: is something that's really beautiful to me.

876
00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:16,480
Speaker 2: I think a lot of people struggle with, like when

877
00:40:16,520 --> 00:40:20,240
Speaker 2: they feel that people don't love the way they love, right,

878
00:40:20,280 --> 00:40:22,680
Speaker 2: And it's like, at least what I've found is that

879
00:40:23,239 --> 00:40:27,319
Speaker 2: most people won't love the way you love, and that

880
00:40:27,400 --> 00:40:30,920
Speaker 2: maybe isn't the right thing to expect, like the difference

881
00:40:30,920 --> 00:40:33,480
Speaker 2: of who they are and how they operate. It's more

882
00:40:33,520 --> 00:40:36,200
Speaker 2: about are we moving in the same direction, yeah, but

883
00:40:36,280 --> 00:40:38,759
Speaker 2: not at the same pace. Yeah, And we might be

884
00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:42,239
Speaker 2: coming through different routes. Like I often think about it,

885
00:40:42,320 --> 00:40:46,440
Speaker 2: like you're both driving to the same place, but you

886
00:40:46,520 --> 00:40:49,440
Speaker 2: might be coming from different sides. And so I'm on

887
00:40:49,480 --> 00:40:51,840
Speaker 2: the phone to RADI saying, Hey, Raley, I'm gonna be

888
00:40:51,840 --> 00:40:52,520
Speaker 2: there in twenty minutes.

889
00:40:52,560 --> 00:40:52,759
Speaker 1: Yeah.

890
00:40:52,760 --> 00:40:54,960
Speaker 2: She's like, it's gonna take me like forty minutes. I'm like,

891
00:40:54,960 --> 00:40:56,440
Speaker 2: all right, I'll wait for you outside in the car

892
00:40:56,520 --> 00:40:58,319
Speaker 2: when I get there, right, And so, like we're going

893
00:40:58,360 --> 00:41:01,040
Speaker 2: to the same place, but we're coming from two different journeys,

894
00:41:01,680 --> 00:41:04,799
Speaker 2: and what's really needed is the communication, Hey, I'll wait

895
00:41:04,840 --> 00:41:06,960
Speaker 2: twenty minutes. I'm going to be twenty minutes late. Yeah.

896
00:41:07,200 --> 00:41:09,480
Speaker 2: And it's that that you're trying to monitor. Whereas when

897
00:41:09,520 --> 00:41:10,799
Speaker 2: we say, oh, no, I want to go with you

898
00:41:10,840 --> 00:41:12,560
Speaker 2: at the same time, we're going to leave from the

899
00:41:12,600 --> 00:41:15,279
Speaker 2: same place. Everything's going to go exactly a plan. It's

900
00:41:15,360 --> 00:41:18,239
Speaker 2: just very unlikely. Yeah, right, does that resonate or?

901
00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:20,960
Speaker 1: I think I'm a very type a person. So in

902
00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:24,400
Speaker 1: the beginning of our relationship, that was something I struggled with.

903
00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:26,120
Speaker 1: I was like, well, why aren't you meeting me where

904
00:41:26,120 --> 00:41:28,080
Speaker 1: I'm at? Why aren't you doing X, Y and Z?

905
00:41:28,280 --> 00:41:31,600
Speaker 1: Why aren't you being affectionate now? Why aren't you picking

906
00:41:31,680 --> 00:41:33,759
Speaker 1: up the phone when I need you now? Like, there

907
00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:37,840
Speaker 1: were so many things that I needed him to be

908
00:41:37,960 --> 00:41:41,080
Speaker 1: exactly like me on or vice versa. He didn't understand

909
00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:43,560
Speaker 1: how I did things, and it led to conflict. And

910
00:41:43,640 --> 00:41:47,080
Speaker 1: sometimes that is really hard to figure out because everyone

911
00:41:47,120 --> 00:41:50,120
Speaker 1: has different love languages, everyone has a different past, everyone

912
00:41:50,160 --> 00:41:53,640
Speaker 1: has a different personality, Like, I cannot expect my partner

913
00:41:53,680 --> 00:41:56,359
Speaker 1: to do exactly what I need them to do when

914
00:41:56,360 --> 00:41:58,680
Speaker 1: I need them to do it. So I think we

915
00:41:58,760 --> 00:42:01,800
Speaker 1: went to couple's therapy for a while because we didn't

916
00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:04,360
Speaker 1: really know how to communicate properly. I always thought I

917
00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:07,880
Speaker 1: was a great communicator, but going to therapy, I realized

918
00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:09,880
Speaker 1: I really have a lot to work on, and so

919
00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:13,040
Speaker 1: does he. So I think as long as you're willing

920
00:42:13,719 --> 00:42:17,880
Speaker 1: and open to making changes and listening and learning and changing.

921
00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:21,280
Speaker 1: That's what's important. If you're stubborn and stuck in your ways,

922
00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:25,000
Speaker 1: it won't go anywhere. And I think that's what I

923
00:42:25,080 --> 00:42:27,280
Speaker 1: like about your car analogy. As long as you're willing

924
00:42:27,320 --> 00:42:29,000
Speaker 1: to pick up the phone and let your partner know,

925
00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:31,360
Speaker 1: and you're willing to wait outside, or you're willing to

926
00:42:32,040 --> 00:42:35,840
Speaker 1: whatever it may be, then you really get to be

927
00:42:35,960 --> 00:42:39,279
Speaker 1: with someone in the best way you can. Like, I

928
00:42:39,320 --> 00:42:43,120
Speaker 1: want my relationship to be the best version of it possible,

929
00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:45,960
Speaker 1: so I will do anything and everything to learn and

930
00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:48,759
Speaker 1: grow and communicate and do all the things that are

931
00:42:48,840 --> 00:42:50,319
Speaker 1: necessary for me to get there.

932
00:42:50,640 --> 00:42:52,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think you hit on something really important though.

933
00:42:52,640 --> 00:42:55,400
Speaker 2: It's almost like when people are like, what's a green flag?

934
00:42:55,400 --> 00:42:57,799
Speaker 2: What should I notice? What should I look for? It's

935
00:42:57,840 --> 00:43:00,560
Speaker 2: actually that, Yeah, it's the ability that both people have

936
00:43:00,680 --> 00:43:03,000
Speaker 2: to say, you know what, I could be better? Yeah,

937
00:43:03,040 --> 00:43:05,120
Speaker 2: I know I can community, like even just as you said, like,

938
00:43:05,360 --> 00:43:08,120
Speaker 2: I think everyone who thinks they're a good communicator can

939
00:43:08,120 --> 00:43:10,759
Speaker 2: community get better? Me included, Like I same with me.

940
00:43:10,840 --> 00:43:13,759
Speaker 2: Before I got married, I thought I was healed and

941
00:43:13,800 --> 00:43:16,799
Speaker 2: I'd figured it out, and I got married at twenty eight.

942
00:43:17,200 --> 00:43:18,879
Speaker 2: Rather it was like twenty five and We've been dating

943
00:43:18,880 --> 00:43:22,120
Speaker 2: since she was twenty two, and even getting married at

944
00:43:22,120 --> 00:43:25,279
Speaker 2: twenty eight. I thought I was pretty, you know, sorted,

945
00:43:25,080 --> 00:43:28,200
Speaker 2: and sure there were some things I'd figured out, But

946
00:43:28,239 --> 00:43:31,080
Speaker 2: there is so much more growth I'd made as a

947
00:43:31,160 --> 00:43:33,560
Speaker 2: husband than I would have not made if I was

948
00:43:33,600 --> 00:43:36,120
Speaker 2: still single. And it comes back to your point of compassion.

949
00:43:36,800 --> 00:43:39,480
Speaker 2: If you feel your partner's judging you and wants you

950
00:43:39,520 --> 00:43:42,400
Speaker 2: to grow because they think you shouldn't be better, that

951
00:43:42,400 --> 00:43:45,239
Speaker 2: doesn't inspire you. But when your partner's willing to wait

952
00:43:45,920 --> 00:43:48,480
Speaker 2: and let you work through your stuff and let you

953
00:43:48,520 --> 00:43:51,480
Speaker 2: grow in your own time, at your own pace, that

954
00:43:51,560 --> 00:43:54,840
Speaker 2: compassion is what inspires you and makes you enthusiastic.

955
00:43:55,080 --> 00:43:57,560
Speaker 1: I think that's the best part about marriage, at least

956
00:43:57,640 --> 00:44:00,719
Speaker 1: mine is having a best friend that will push me

957
00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:02,839
Speaker 1: to be better. Like he's never going to sit there

958
00:44:02,840 --> 00:44:04,919
Speaker 1: and be like, you're doing great, honey, if we both

959
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:07,760
Speaker 1: know I'm not, He's going to encourage me and really

960
00:44:07,800 --> 00:44:10,040
Speaker 1: help me to get to a good point. But it

961
00:44:10,120 --> 00:44:13,000
Speaker 1: never comes from like judgment or anger. It always feels

962
00:44:13,040 --> 00:44:15,160
Speaker 1: like a nudge of being like, hey, honey, how can

963
00:44:15,200 --> 00:44:18,200
Speaker 1: I help you to reach your full potential? How can

964
00:44:18,239 --> 00:44:20,560
Speaker 1: I help you do X? Y and Z. And I

965
00:44:20,600 --> 00:44:23,640
Speaker 1: think being married actually was like looking into a mirror,

966
00:44:23,640 --> 00:44:25,920
Speaker 1: because all of a sudden, you have this person that

967
00:44:25,960 --> 00:44:28,400
Speaker 1: you're like, oh, you're not a great communicator. You're not

968
00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:30,279
Speaker 1: doing X, Y and Z, you're not doing all of

969
00:44:30,320 --> 00:44:32,520
Speaker 1: these things. And it's easy for you to blame someone

970
00:44:32,520 --> 00:44:35,880
Speaker 1: else because you think that you're better than them in

971
00:44:35,960 --> 00:44:38,000
Speaker 1: certain ways, Like I thought I was a better communicator

972
00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:41,320
Speaker 1: than Lucky. I thought I was better at doing certain things.

973
00:44:41,320 --> 00:44:44,279
Speaker 1: But then when you actually truly sit down with that

974
00:44:44,320 --> 00:44:47,799
Speaker 1: person and they're like, well, actually, you're not that great

975
00:44:47,840 --> 00:44:51,040
Speaker 1: at communicating because you didn't communicate then and there and

976
00:44:51,200 --> 00:44:53,799
Speaker 1: do this, And I'm like, oh, it's actually like looking

977
00:44:53,840 --> 00:44:56,520
Speaker 1: into a mirror and actually being able to self reflect

978
00:44:56,560 --> 00:44:59,000
Speaker 1: on all the work that maybe you should be doing

979
00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:01,239
Speaker 1: to have a really successful relationship.

980
00:45:01,360 --> 00:45:03,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's it's so well said, and I'm just I'm

981
00:45:03,480 --> 00:45:06,279
Speaker 2: just blown away. I'm like I can't believe, like, because

982
00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:07,239
Speaker 2: how old are you? Know? Are you?

983
00:45:07,320 --> 00:45:08,439
Speaker 1: Like I'm twenty three?

984
00:45:08,560 --> 00:45:11,400
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I feel like I'm talking to like

985
00:45:11,440 --> 00:45:14,680
Speaker 2: an old soul's in the sale way, in the most

986
00:45:14,719 --> 00:45:17,240
Speaker 2: beautiful way. I love that, And I can so sense

987
00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:20,719
Speaker 2: that it's so genuine and real for you, Like as

988
00:45:20,760 --> 00:45:24,479
Speaker 2: I'm hearing you talk, I feel it like it's real,

989
00:45:24,600 --> 00:45:26,359
Speaker 2: you know, And I think it's important for people to

990
00:45:26,400 --> 00:45:30,400
Speaker 2: know that because I can tell that it's it's coded

991
00:45:30,440 --> 00:45:32,839
Speaker 2: into your soul of who you are, of how you've

992
00:45:32,840 --> 00:45:35,680
Speaker 2: been figuring life out, and it's it's beautiful when someone

993
00:45:35,719 --> 00:45:39,440
Speaker 2: can figure it out earlier and be so conscious and

994
00:45:39,480 --> 00:45:42,480
Speaker 2: honest about the realities of what's going on. You were

995
00:45:42,520 --> 00:45:44,920
Speaker 2: just saying there that obviously nine months after you got married,

996
00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:48,719
Speaker 2: you had had your first baby. Yeah, I can't imagine

997
00:45:49,080 --> 00:45:51,560
Speaker 2: how quick this has moved. And you're like having a

998
00:45:51,640 --> 00:45:53,440
Speaker 2: child too, Like did you always want to be a

999
00:45:53,480 --> 00:45:55,799
Speaker 2: young mom? Like was that always the No? Okay, so

1000
00:45:55,840 --> 00:45:56,120
Speaker 2: that way.

1001
00:45:56,160 --> 00:45:59,920
Speaker 1: I never I love children now, but I was younger,

1002
00:46:00,440 --> 00:46:04,920
Speaker 1: I never particularly cared to be around children, just because

1003
00:46:04,960 --> 00:46:07,839
Speaker 1: it never felt like something that I was interested in.

1004
00:46:08,560 --> 00:46:12,520
Speaker 1: And then when I met Lucky again, that's when everything clicked.

1005
00:46:12,719 --> 00:46:15,080
Speaker 1: And then I remembered my dad telling me growing up.

1006
00:46:15,160 --> 00:46:18,040
Speaker 1: He would always tell me, I wish I would have

1007
00:46:18,040 --> 00:46:21,000
Speaker 1: had you guys earlier. I wish one thing I not regret,

1008
00:46:21,040 --> 00:46:23,239
Speaker 1: but one thing I wish I could do differently is

1009
00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:26,359
Speaker 1: have you guys twenty years prior, and not have you

1010
00:46:26,760 --> 00:46:30,120
Speaker 1: when I'm almost fifty and trying to chase toddlers around.

1011
00:46:30,160 --> 00:46:34,400
Speaker 1: That's not something that he really enjoyed. So to me,

1012
00:46:34,800 --> 00:46:36,400
Speaker 1: I kind of took that to heart when I met

1013
00:46:36,480 --> 00:46:38,160
Speaker 1: Lucky and I knew where we were heading and I

1014
00:46:38,239 --> 00:46:40,719
Speaker 1: knew what our life would be like. I wanted to

1015
00:46:40,719 --> 00:46:43,200
Speaker 1: have kids young because when I'm forty, they're out the house.

1016
00:46:44,200 --> 00:46:48,920
Speaker 1: So to me, just raising them while I'm also figuring

1017
00:46:48,960 --> 00:46:51,680
Speaker 1: out my life is kind of beautiful. To me. I

1018
00:46:51,840 --> 00:46:55,239
Speaker 1: like having them come along my journey and learning with

1019
00:46:55,320 --> 00:46:58,279
Speaker 1: me and growing with me, and me being able to

1020
00:46:58,400 --> 00:47:00,840
Speaker 1: relate to them a little better when they're older because

1021
00:47:00,880 --> 00:47:03,320
Speaker 1: there won't be that big of an age gap between

1022
00:47:03,400 --> 00:47:06,760
Speaker 1: us to where it feels kind of harder to connect

1023
00:47:06,800 --> 00:47:09,879
Speaker 1: with them. And I don't know, there's never a right

1024
00:47:09,880 --> 00:47:11,560
Speaker 1: time to have kids, at least for me. And I

1025
00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:15,040
Speaker 1: always hear parents asking when should we have kids? When

1026
00:47:15,080 --> 00:47:18,520
Speaker 1: is the ideal time? And to me, there isn't because

1027
00:47:18,920 --> 00:47:21,000
Speaker 1: you're either too young and you want to go to college,

1028
00:47:21,400 --> 00:47:23,040
Speaker 1: or then you're done with college and you want to

1029
00:47:23,080 --> 00:47:25,560
Speaker 1: start working, and then when you're working and you don't

1030
00:47:25,560 --> 00:47:27,520
Speaker 1: want to take time off because you just start at

1031
00:47:27,520 --> 00:47:30,600
Speaker 1: this job, but then I don't know, five ten years

1032
00:47:30,640 --> 00:47:33,040
Speaker 1: down the line, you're a senior in this company and

1033
00:47:33,080 --> 00:47:35,440
Speaker 1: you're so busy and making so much money, and then

1034
00:47:35,480 --> 00:47:38,080
Speaker 1: that's an inconvenient time. So like, when is the right

1035
00:47:38,160 --> 00:47:42,120
Speaker 1: time to me? There wasn't and I just loved having

1036
00:47:42,160 --> 00:47:45,279
Speaker 1: them so young And is it hard? Sure? But is

1037
00:47:45,360 --> 00:47:48,520
Speaker 1: it so rewarding at the same time It truly is.

1038
00:47:48,560 --> 00:47:48,799
Speaker 1: For me.

1039
00:47:49,040 --> 00:47:52,680
Speaker 2: Every time someone asks me when's the right time to

1040
00:47:52,719 --> 00:47:55,960
Speaker 2: get married or when's the right time to have kids?

1041
00:47:57,040 --> 00:48:00,480
Speaker 2: My response is always it's the wrong question. The right

1042
00:48:00,560 --> 00:48:03,680
Speaker 2: question is do I know how my life will change?

1043
00:48:04,560 --> 00:48:07,239
Speaker 2: Because really what you should be asking is am I

1044
00:48:07,320 --> 00:48:11,680
Speaker 2: aware of what this is going to require of me? Right?

1045
00:48:11,719 --> 00:48:14,960
Speaker 2: Like becoming married requires something different of you, Having a

1046
00:48:15,040 --> 00:48:19,319
Speaker 2: child requires something different of you? And it's like, am

1047
00:48:19,320 --> 00:48:22,480
Speaker 2: I aware of that? That's fair and I'm willing to

1048
00:48:22,520 --> 00:48:24,520
Speaker 2: walk into that. Now. I'm not saying you could ever

1049
00:48:24,600 --> 00:48:27,080
Speaker 2: know everything about how different your life is going to be.

1050
00:48:27,120 --> 00:48:30,120
Speaker 2: You won't, but there's a sense of recognizing this is

1051
00:48:30,120 --> 00:48:32,680
Speaker 2: going to change my life. And I think sometimes it's

1052
00:48:32,719 --> 00:48:36,879
Speaker 2: like timing becomes about body clock, it becomes about an

1053
00:48:36,920 --> 00:48:42,040
Speaker 2: external thing that doesn't mean you're internally open already, and

1054
00:48:42,640 --> 00:48:46,080
Speaker 2: when we're making decisions based on perfect timing, like you said,

1055
00:48:46,120 --> 00:48:49,319
Speaker 2: there is never a perfect time there truly isn't. Like

1056
00:48:49,360 --> 00:48:51,960
Speaker 2: me and Rather have been together for twelve years, we've

1057
00:48:51,960 --> 00:48:55,000
Speaker 2: been married for nine. We don't have children yet, and

1058
00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:56,440
Speaker 2: it's not because we don't want to. I think we

1059
00:48:56,480 --> 00:48:58,920
Speaker 2: do one day, but this stage of our life just

1060
00:48:59,400 --> 00:49:02,120
Speaker 2: it's been so much based on like personal realization, especially

1061
00:49:02,200 --> 00:49:04,360
Speaker 2: for Radi. Like when we decided to get married, the

1062
00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:07,120
Speaker 2: deal was we were going to live five minutes away

1063
00:49:07,120 --> 00:49:09,560
Speaker 2: from our mom's house. Right then my career changed and

1064
00:49:09,600 --> 00:49:11,520
Speaker 2: I got this amazing offer to move to New York

1065
00:49:11,960 --> 00:49:14,400
Speaker 2: and now we live in la And so Ralei's had

1066
00:49:14,440 --> 00:49:16,440
Speaker 2: to like go on this crazy journey. It's a lot,

1067
00:49:16,640 --> 00:49:18,440
Speaker 2: and it's a lot, so we've had to like really

1068
00:49:18,560 --> 00:49:21,600
Speaker 2: learn to like understand what that means for us, put

1069
00:49:21,640 --> 00:49:23,440
Speaker 2: our roots down. The first few years of our marriage,

1070
00:49:23,480 --> 00:49:25,720
Speaker 2: Rady would go back to London a lot more because

1071
00:49:25,719 --> 00:49:28,640
Speaker 2: she missed home, Like there was just so much to navigate,

1072
00:49:28,719 --> 00:49:31,480
Speaker 2: and like we didn't feel that we wanted to invite

1073
00:49:31,560 --> 00:49:34,600
Speaker 2: kids into that uncertainty that we had. That was a

1074
00:49:34,640 --> 00:49:37,640
Speaker 2: personal choice. That's not the right or wrong answer, it's

1075
00:49:37,680 --> 00:49:40,040
Speaker 2: just what was right for us. And I think it's

1076
00:49:40,080 --> 00:49:42,960
Speaker 2: so interesting because, yeah, I think when you make it

1077
00:49:42,960 --> 00:49:45,120
Speaker 2: about the right time, and you make it about an age,

1078
00:49:45,840 --> 00:49:47,640
Speaker 2: like oh, you had kids early or.

1079
00:49:47,680 --> 00:49:51,080
Speaker 1: Late, parameters on things that are so restricting. And I

1080
00:49:51,120 --> 00:49:54,600
Speaker 1: think that's another thing. When people hear that I have

1081
00:49:54,719 --> 00:49:57,960
Speaker 1: three kids at twenty three and I had my first

1082
00:49:57,960 --> 00:50:02,080
Speaker 1: at a few weeks after during nineteen, they always freak

1083
00:50:02,160 --> 00:50:04,400
Speaker 1: out and they tell me, why aren't you in the clubs,

1084
00:50:04,400 --> 00:50:06,160
Speaker 1: Why aren't you doing this? Why aren't you doing that?

1085
00:50:06,239 --> 00:50:08,960
Speaker 1: And I feel like they're projecting how they want their

1086
00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:11,600
Speaker 1: life to be onto me. That's one thing I really

1087
00:50:11,640 --> 00:50:14,080
Speaker 1: struggled with in the beginning, even doing social media, with

1088
00:50:14,160 --> 00:50:17,400
Speaker 1: all these opinions of people having opinions on me getting

1089
00:50:17,400 --> 00:50:20,759
Speaker 1: married young and having children young, and them not understanding

1090
00:50:20,800 --> 00:50:23,000
Speaker 1: that that is a choice I made for my life.

1091
00:50:23,320 --> 00:50:25,440
Speaker 1: That doesn't mean that that's the right choice for you.

1092
00:50:25,560 --> 00:50:28,480
Speaker 1: It doesn't mean that your choices are right for me.

1093
00:50:28,680 --> 00:50:31,560
Speaker 1: And I think everyone is on their individual journey. Like

1094
00:50:31,560 --> 00:50:34,120
Speaker 1: you were saying, you guys weren't ready to really have

1095
00:50:34,239 --> 00:50:36,520
Speaker 1: your life change, because your life does change. And I

1096
00:50:36,520 --> 00:50:39,000
Speaker 1: think if you're ready to have that change. Great. If

1097
00:50:39,040 --> 00:50:41,160
Speaker 1: you're not, it's just not the right time for you.

1098
00:50:41,480 --> 00:50:44,840
Speaker 1: And I think judging someone based on their timing of

1099
00:50:44,880 --> 00:50:47,400
Speaker 1: having kids or timing getting married or whatever it may

1100
00:50:47,440 --> 00:50:49,640
Speaker 1: be is such an odd concept to me. And I

1101
00:50:49,719 --> 00:50:53,200
Speaker 1: never truly thought about that maybe Lucky and I are

1102
00:50:53,239 --> 00:50:56,440
Speaker 1: doing it really early or whatever, until I had people's

1103
00:50:56,440 --> 00:50:58,719
Speaker 1: opinions on it. My dad was stoked. He was like,

1104
00:50:58,760 --> 00:51:02,480
Speaker 1: this is great going to young mom. But then hearing

1105
00:51:02,520 --> 00:51:05,920
Speaker 1: other people's opinions. It never even crossed my mind before

1106
00:51:05,960 --> 00:51:07,960
Speaker 1: that that this might be such an odd thing to

1107
00:51:08,040 --> 00:51:11,879
Speaker 1: do at eighteen And now, I mean, I wouldn't take

1108
00:51:11,880 --> 00:51:13,200
Speaker 1: it back for the world. I think it was the

1109
00:51:13,239 --> 00:51:15,399
Speaker 1: best decision we could have made for us, because even

1110
00:51:15,440 --> 00:51:18,959
Speaker 1: though it is hard and it changed our life, we

1111
00:51:19,200 --> 00:51:21,080
Speaker 1: found so much joy in it, and we find so

1112
00:51:21,160 --> 00:51:23,479
Speaker 1: much joy in it and we really get to grow

1113
00:51:23,560 --> 00:51:27,160
Speaker 1: and learn. You learn so much from having children, and

1114
00:51:27,200 --> 00:51:30,839
Speaker 1: whether that's patience or understanding or whatever it is. I

1115
00:51:30,880 --> 00:51:33,080
Speaker 1: think I'm at the perfect time in my life to

1116
00:51:33,160 --> 00:51:36,080
Speaker 1: receive all of those lessons from my kids and pour

1117
00:51:36,200 --> 00:51:36,919
Speaker 1: back into them.

1118
00:51:37,200 --> 00:51:41,040
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think you're a really interesting intersection. Yeah. And again,

1119
00:51:41,080 --> 00:51:43,920
Speaker 2: by the way, these are all societal yas these are

1120
00:51:43,960 --> 00:51:46,560
Speaker 2: not like, they're not real. No, And I always like

1121
00:51:46,600 --> 00:51:49,560
Speaker 2: to remind people that anything that we think is real

1122
00:51:49,640 --> 00:51:53,680
Speaker 2: today is just something society repeated for long enough that

1123
00:51:53,760 --> 00:51:56,160
Speaker 2: it's become normal. Like when we say the word normal,

1124
00:51:56,200 --> 00:51:58,719
Speaker 2: it just means it's happened in society for a long

1125
00:51:58,760 --> 00:52:02,520
Speaker 2: period of time, and that's why things get normalized. And

1126
00:52:02,600 --> 00:52:06,520
Speaker 2: so when people say, oh, you're you got married early,

1127
00:52:06,560 --> 00:52:09,719
Speaker 2: you had kids early, that's very traditional. That's a societal

1128
00:52:10,320 --> 00:52:11,200
Speaker 2: take on your own.

1129
00:52:11,239 --> 00:52:13,440
Speaker 1: You don't even know it was, because the other day

1130
00:52:13,920 --> 00:52:15,400
Speaker 1: someone brought it up to me and they were like,

1131
00:52:15,440 --> 00:52:18,239
Speaker 1: you have a very traditional way of life. I'm like,

1132
00:52:18,280 --> 00:52:22,400
Speaker 1: what do you mean, Like we split chores, I work,

1133
00:52:23,200 --> 00:52:27,440
Speaker 1: my husband works, we have children, we split everything, Like

1134
00:52:27,560 --> 00:52:30,000
Speaker 1: I cook because I love to, not because I have

1135
00:52:30,120 --> 00:52:33,719
Speaker 1: to Lucky cleans, Like there was nothing traditional. And then

1136
00:52:33,719 --> 00:52:36,360
Speaker 1: they were like, well, you had kids at nineteen and

1137
00:52:36,400 --> 00:52:39,040
Speaker 1: you got married at eighteen. And I was like and

1138
00:52:39,040 --> 00:52:42,600
Speaker 1: and they were like that's traditional. And I'm like, oh,

1139
00:52:42,640 --> 00:52:46,239
Speaker 1: I guess that's traditional. Then it never even crossed my

1140
00:52:46,400 --> 00:52:49,360
Speaker 1: mind because I've always been such a believer in having

1141
00:52:49,400 --> 00:52:52,120
Speaker 1: people make their own choices and never judging someone else.

1142
00:52:52,160 --> 00:52:54,239
Speaker 1: Based on how they choose to live their life and

1143
00:52:54,360 --> 00:52:57,120
Speaker 1: much rather celebrating them. How cool is it seeing someone

1144
00:52:57,120 --> 00:53:00,760
Speaker 1: else be thirty five and crushing life life and traveling

1145
00:53:00,800 --> 00:53:03,560
Speaker 1: in the world by themselves, not having a care in

1146
00:53:03,600 --> 00:53:05,960
Speaker 1: the world. I love seeing that, Whereas I also love

1147
00:53:06,040 --> 00:53:09,160
Speaker 1: seeing moms that are eighteen and have a child and

1148
00:53:09,320 --> 00:53:12,120
Speaker 1: are doing life, and I love seeing that. So I

1149
00:53:12,160 --> 00:53:15,719
Speaker 1: think I've always just loved celebrating people at where they're

1150
00:53:15,760 --> 00:53:17,880
Speaker 1: at that It was such a foreign concept to me

1151
00:53:17,920 --> 00:53:20,880
Speaker 1: that people would have a negative opinion on me choosing

1152
00:53:20,920 --> 00:53:24,560
Speaker 1: to start my life in that way early on totally.

1153
00:53:24,560 --> 00:53:27,120
Speaker 2: And that's why you're at that interesting intersection, I'm saying,

1154
00:53:27,160 --> 00:53:29,279
Speaker 2: because that's what I was about to say, Like, you're

1155
00:53:29,320 --> 00:53:33,040
Speaker 2: a career person, you have a booming career, you're a model,

1156
00:53:33,120 --> 00:53:36,120
Speaker 2: you're doing incredible stuff online, and you're a mom and

1157
00:53:36,160 --> 00:53:38,479
Speaker 2: you love cooking for them. And it's really funny because

1158
00:53:38,520 --> 00:53:41,440
Speaker 2: we me and Radi in one sense we got married

1159
00:53:41,480 --> 00:53:45,160
Speaker 2: early and now we're having kids lay and so it's like,

1160
00:53:45,280 --> 00:53:47,319
Speaker 2: you know, you could whenever you look at things in

1161
00:53:47,360 --> 00:53:50,600
Speaker 2: any order, it's like, well wait a minute, no, to me,

1162
00:53:50,680 --> 00:53:53,920
Speaker 2: we're on time. Yeah, to me, you're on time. No,

1163
00:53:54,040 --> 00:53:56,840
Speaker 2: I love that right because it's you're on time, because

1164
00:53:56,880 --> 00:53:59,840
Speaker 2: that's the time that made sense for you. But first,

1165
00:54:00,239 --> 00:54:03,240
Speaker 2: here's a quick word from the brands that support the show.

1166
00:54:04,239 --> 00:54:07,080
Speaker 2: All right, thank you to our sponsors. Now let's dive

1167
00:54:07,160 --> 00:54:09,719
Speaker 2: back in. And I wanted to ask you about that,

1168
00:54:09,760 --> 00:54:11,640
Speaker 2: like in the sense of and I love I love

1169
00:54:11,680 --> 00:54:13,719
Speaker 2: your answer to how you see the time and the

1170
00:54:13,760 --> 00:54:16,640
Speaker 2: early and late. But I think there's right now there's

1171
00:54:16,680 --> 00:54:22,760
Speaker 2: such a big conversation around gender roles and around expectations.

1172
00:54:23,280 --> 00:54:25,399
Speaker 2: And by the way, me and Radi get the same

1173
00:54:25,400 --> 00:54:27,840
Speaker 2: thing that you guys get. So people always say to me,

1174
00:54:27,960 --> 00:54:30,640
Speaker 2: you're so lucky you've got a traditional wife, and you're

1175
00:54:30,680 --> 00:54:32,480
Speaker 2: so lucky that you got a wife loves and I'm like,

1176
00:54:32,640 --> 00:54:36,759
Speaker 2: Radi loves cooking. Like she doesn't cook because it's a

1177
00:54:36,800 --> 00:54:40,120
Speaker 2: woman's role by based on tradition. She cooks to she

1178
00:54:40,280 --> 00:54:43,160
Speaker 2: loves cooking, and I don't cook because I'm terrible at it.

1179
00:54:43,200 --> 00:54:45,520
Speaker 2: And if I love cooking, I would cook. And rather

1180
00:54:45,600 --> 00:54:49,520
Speaker 2: way Radi works. She's you know, she's got incredible cookbook.

1181
00:54:49,600 --> 00:54:52,640
Speaker 2: She's a New York Times bestselling author. She's like creating

1182
00:54:52,680 --> 00:54:55,440
Speaker 2: all this amazing content. Like Radi's got an amazing business

1183
00:54:55,440 --> 00:54:58,319
Speaker 2: of her own. It's not even divided that way. But

1184
00:54:58,360 --> 00:55:03,160
Speaker 2: it's interesting how these perceptions have settled into society. You

1185
00:55:03,280 --> 00:55:06,920
Speaker 2: challenge them because of what you just said. How do

1186
00:55:06,960 --> 00:55:09,359
Speaker 2: you encourage people to like think about that, like how

1187
00:55:09,360 --> 00:55:12,279
Speaker 2: to get out of that kind of expectation and role

1188
00:55:12,320 --> 00:55:14,120
Speaker 2: and kind of find your own values in time.

1189
00:55:14,360 --> 00:55:18,279
Speaker 1: I feel like that's something I sometimes struggle with with

1190
00:55:18,360 --> 00:55:23,040
Speaker 1: my online presence. It's people love projecting things onto me

1191
00:55:23,200 --> 00:55:26,520
Speaker 1: and kind of how I live my life. Just because

1192
00:55:27,160 --> 00:55:30,040
Speaker 1: I cook for my husband because it's my love language

1193
00:55:30,040 --> 00:55:33,680
Speaker 1: and I love cooking, they project onto it that I'm

1194
00:55:33,880 --> 00:55:36,040
Speaker 1: in the kitchen and trapped and I'm just at home

1195
00:55:36,080 --> 00:55:37,960
Speaker 1: and he's the breadwinner and all of these things, and

1196
00:55:37,960 --> 00:55:42,440
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, I work, I'm very busy. I travel

1197
00:55:42,440 --> 00:55:44,719
Speaker 1: almost every week. I have kids that I raise. I

1198
00:55:44,800 --> 00:55:47,680
Speaker 1: love being in the kitchen because it's a passion of mine,

1199
00:55:47,920 --> 00:55:50,520
Speaker 1: not because I have to. And sometimes I feel like

1200
00:55:51,280 --> 00:55:53,920
Speaker 1: this is where social media gets tricky for me personally,

1201
00:55:54,000 --> 00:55:57,320
Speaker 1: is it doesn't matter how much I voice those things

1202
00:55:57,320 --> 00:56:00,200
Speaker 1: and try to make people understand that I am actually

1203
00:56:00,920 --> 00:56:04,920
Speaker 1: a full time working mom that they just don't want

1204
00:56:04,960 --> 00:56:07,400
Speaker 1: to get it. They use me as this poster child

1205
00:56:07,480 --> 00:56:11,919
Speaker 1: of this like very traditional wife, and I'm not. There's

1206
00:56:12,000 --> 00:56:15,399
Speaker 1: nothing truly traditional about us as a couple, apart from

1207
00:56:15,440 --> 00:56:17,359
Speaker 1: maybe that we chose to have kids young and get

1208
00:56:17,400 --> 00:56:20,880
Speaker 1: married young. But apart from that, we split chwards fifty

1209
00:56:20,880 --> 00:56:23,400
Speaker 1: to fifty. There's things that Lucky does that I guess

1210
00:56:23,520 --> 00:56:27,520
Speaker 1: traditional men wouldn't do, like do the dishes or get

1211
00:56:27,560 --> 00:56:29,560
Speaker 1: the kids dressed, or do the hair or whatever it

1212
00:56:29,600 --> 00:56:33,200
Speaker 1: may be that people don't associate with a traditional men man.

1213
00:56:33,239 --> 00:56:35,240
Speaker 1: And there's things that I do, like having a full

1214
00:56:35,280 --> 00:56:38,480
Speaker 1: time career and having Lucky be home watching the children

1215
00:56:38,520 --> 00:56:41,360
Speaker 1: while I travel for two weeks, which is I guess

1216
00:56:41,400 --> 00:56:44,960
Speaker 1: not traditional in their mind. It's odd and I feel

1217
00:56:44,960 --> 00:56:46,840
Speaker 1: like people see that side of my life and I

1218
00:56:46,960 --> 00:56:49,759
Speaker 1: voice that side of my life, but they still don't

1219
00:56:49,760 --> 00:56:51,760
Speaker 1: want to accept it. So I've just kind of learned

1220
00:56:51,800 --> 00:56:55,560
Speaker 1: to going to do me and whoever resonates with that great.

1221
00:56:55,600 --> 00:56:58,239
Speaker 1: If they don't, then there's nothing really I can I

1222
00:56:58,280 --> 00:56:59,720
Speaker 1: can do to change their minds.

1223
00:57:00,080 --> 00:57:02,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and that's a really hard thing to grapple with.

1224
00:57:02,560 --> 00:57:04,960
Speaker 2: H Right, It's like, yeah, I remember when me and

1225
00:57:05,080 --> 00:57:08,000
Speaker 2: Bradley first used to create content together A lot of

1226
00:57:08,040 --> 00:57:10,319
Speaker 2: people would in the comments, like we'd literally be talking

1227
00:57:10,360 --> 00:57:12,959
Speaker 2: about an issue we had or an argument we had

1228
00:57:13,600 --> 00:57:15,480
Speaker 2: and talking about how we try to figure it out.

1229
00:57:15,520 --> 00:57:18,360
Speaker 2: And there were some interviews we did where I didn't

1230
00:57:18,360 --> 00:57:20,280
Speaker 2: even know Radley was dealing with something and she'd break

1231
00:57:20,280 --> 00:57:22,840
Speaker 2: down in the interview and I'd be like, oh my gosh,

1232
00:57:23,040 --> 00:57:25,160
Speaker 2: I'd like, what's going on and we talk about it,

1233
00:57:25,640 --> 00:57:28,040
Speaker 2: and we'd still get comments where people will be like, oh,

1234
00:57:28,080 --> 00:57:30,680
Speaker 2: they just always project themselves as perfect and happy, and

1235
00:57:30,680 --> 00:57:32,680
Speaker 2: I'm like, trust me, that is the last thing I've

1236
00:57:32,720 --> 00:57:34,600
Speaker 2: wanted to do. Like the last thing I've ever wanted

1237
00:57:34,640 --> 00:57:38,400
Speaker 2: to do is present myself as perfect, my marriage is perfect,

1238
00:57:38,760 --> 00:57:42,040
Speaker 2: or anything as because really, what I'm trying to share is, hey,

1239
00:57:42,040 --> 00:57:44,400
Speaker 2: this is what I got wrong. Like I wrote a

1240
00:57:44,440 --> 00:57:46,200
Speaker 2: book about love, and none of it is based on

1241
00:57:46,240 --> 00:57:47,960
Speaker 2: what I got right. It's all based on what I

1242
00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:51,760
Speaker 2: got wrong and what I learned through meeting people. But

1243
00:57:51,840 --> 00:57:57,600
Speaker 2: it's interesting how not everyone hears that because the noise

1244
00:57:57,640 --> 00:57:59,520
Speaker 2: in our mind of what someone is or what they

1245
00:57:59,560 --> 00:58:01,480
Speaker 2: look like it kind of overshadows that.

1246
00:58:01,520 --> 00:58:03,160
Speaker 1: If that makes sense, I don't think they want to

1247
00:58:03,200 --> 00:58:05,240
Speaker 1: hear it, And I think that's what I've learned with

1248
00:58:05,680 --> 00:58:08,520
Speaker 1: being on social media and being so controversial. I guess

1249
00:58:08,600 --> 00:58:11,040
Speaker 1: is people don't want to hear it. They don't want

1250
00:58:11,080 --> 00:58:14,680
Speaker 1: to change their opinion, they don't want to see you differently.

1251
00:58:14,720 --> 00:58:17,440
Speaker 1: It's like once they've made up their mind about you

1252
00:58:17,560 --> 00:58:20,080
Speaker 1: or have read something. It's also easy on social media.

1253
00:58:20,160 --> 00:58:22,040
Speaker 1: You read a comment or a headline and you believe it,

1254
00:58:22,400 --> 00:58:24,680
Speaker 1: Like there's so many things in the news or whatever

1255
00:58:24,720 --> 00:58:27,680
Speaker 1: it may be that you read the headline and you

1256
00:58:27,760 --> 00:58:30,120
Speaker 1: believe it, and then you actually, like Google and do

1257
00:58:30,200 --> 00:58:33,200
Speaker 1: your research and it couldn't be further from the truth. Also,

1258
00:58:33,400 --> 00:58:36,760
Speaker 1: nowadays society, they love drama, they love negativity. They feed

1259
00:58:36,800 --> 00:58:42,320
Speaker 1: off of fights and opinions and online situations that cause conflict.

1260
00:58:42,360 --> 00:58:45,000
Speaker 1: And I think that's what people love projecting onto me.

1261
00:58:45,040 --> 00:58:47,560
Speaker 1: They love that I'm so controversial and they can kind

1262
00:58:47,560 --> 00:58:49,640
Speaker 1: of say whatever. And in the beginning it really used

1263
00:58:49,680 --> 00:58:51,480
Speaker 1: to bother me. I used to cry at home and

1264
00:58:51,800 --> 00:58:54,040
Speaker 1: tell Lucky like, I don't understand why they're saying all

1265
00:58:54,040 --> 00:58:57,000
Speaker 1: these things. None of this is true. And then I

1266
00:58:57,040 --> 00:59:00,280
Speaker 1: would make a post that's like very subtle, like and

1267
00:59:00,280 --> 00:59:02,280
Speaker 1: I would say in the voiceover, like I'm not x

1268
00:59:02,400 --> 00:59:04,840
Speaker 1: Y and Z, I'm actually a working well, I actually

1269
00:59:04,880 --> 00:59:08,320
Speaker 1: don't believe in these things. And then all the comments

1270
00:59:08,360 --> 00:59:10,720
Speaker 1: would be like, she's lying, she's gaslighting us, she's and

1271
00:59:10,760 --> 00:59:14,680
Speaker 1: I'm like, I literally cannot win. And I think that's

1272
00:59:14,680 --> 00:59:16,840
Speaker 1: what I've learned, Like people don't want to hear the truth.

1273
00:59:16,880 --> 00:59:19,480
Speaker 1: They don't care for the truth. They care about what

1274
00:59:20,080 --> 00:59:23,240
Speaker 1: they want to hear and what serves them. So the

1275
00:59:23,320 --> 00:59:26,240
Speaker 1: less I say kind of the better, Yeah, because it

1276
00:59:26,280 --> 00:59:29,200
Speaker 1: preserves my energy. There's no point in me saying something

1277
00:59:29,240 --> 00:59:30,520
Speaker 1: that someone doesn't even want to hear.

1278
00:59:30,720 --> 00:59:33,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, And it's not the majority, it's the minority.

1279
00:59:33,080 --> 00:59:35,240
Speaker 1: It's like, but that's what your brain picks up. It

1280
00:59:35,240 --> 00:59:37,960
Speaker 1: could be you could get fifty comments of people that

1281
00:59:38,160 --> 00:59:41,320
Speaker 1: love you and then that one comment that's just so

1282
00:59:41,520 --> 00:59:43,560
Speaker 1: mean and nasty, and that's what you think about for

1283
00:59:43,640 --> 00:59:46,560
Speaker 1: the rest of the day. And I think that's also

1284
00:59:46,600 --> 00:59:49,200
Speaker 1: why I don't you saw me walk in with two phones.

1285
00:59:49,240 --> 00:59:51,640
Speaker 1: I have a social media phone and a personal phone.

1286
00:59:51,680 --> 00:59:55,000
Speaker 1: My social media phone I post, I literally post my thing,

1287
00:59:55,440 --> 00:59:58,360
Speaker 1: maybe read a few comments because I do love interacting

1288
00:59:58,360 --> 01:00:01,640
Speaker 1: with my community so much, but then that phone is gone.

1289
01:00:01,640 --> 01:00:03,560
Speaker 1: I don't read my comments. I don't really scroll on

1290
01:00:03,600 --> 01:00:05,600
Speaker 1: social media. I don't really consume media. And then my

1291
01:00:05,680 --> 01:00:08,920
Speaker 1: personal phone is for everyone that actually knows me and

1292
01:00:09,000 --> 01:00:11,920
Speaker 1: can have an opinion about my life, and that's the

1293
01:00:11,960 --> 01:00:15,600
Speaker 1: phone I care about. If anyone on that phone text

1294
01:00:15,640 --> 01:00:18,120
Speaker 1: me and has an issue with me or think something,

1295
01:00:18,240 --> 01:00:20,360
Speaker 1: that's when I'll actually sit down and think about it.

1296
01:00:20,400 --> 01:00:22,440
Speaker 1: The other phone, I couldn't care less. You don't know

1297
01:00:22,520 --> 01:00:24,440
Speaker 1: me well enough for me to care about your opinion

1298
01:00:24,480 --> 01:00:25,000
Speaker 1: at this point.

1299
01:00:25,160 --> 01:00:28,120
Speaker 2: That's a really smart way of separating the two, because

1300
01:00:28,120 --> 01:00:29,800
Speaker 2: when your mind con separate the two, you have to

1301
01:00:29,800 --> 01:00:30,080
Speaker 2: you have.

1302
01:00:30,040 --> 01:00:30,800
Speaker 1: To physically do it.

1303
01:00:30,880 --> 01:00:31,080
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1304
01:00:32,520 --> 01:00:36,680
Speaker 1: It it got so bad after I had like towards

1305
01:00:36,680 --> 01:00:38,840
Speaker 1: the end of my pregnancy with my third I just

1306
01:00:38,920 --> 01:00:41,840
Speaker 1: had whimsy. But that's kind of when everything picked up

1307
01:00:41,880 --> 01:00:44,280
Speaker 1: and people had all of these opinions, and I just

1308
01:00:44,360 --> 01:00:48,800
Speaker 1: remember how badly I was struggling reading all of these comments.

1309
01:00:48,800 --> 01:00:51,240
Speaker 1: I would be crying every single day. I would tell

1310
01:00:51,360 --> 01:00:53,320
Speaker 1: Lucky like I didn't know what to do. I didn't

1311
01:00:53,320 --> 01:00:55,160
Speaker 1: want to leave the house. I didn't want to interact

1312
01:00:55,200 --> 01:00:57,840
Speaker 1: with anyone because all the comments and the hate got

1313
01:00:57,880 --> 01:01:01,280
Speaker 1: to me so bad, especially being in the last little

1314
01:01:01,280 --> 01:01:03,960
Speaker 1: stretch of my pregnancy, and then with all the postpartum hormones,

1315
01:01:04,040 --> 01:01:08,840
Speaker 1: and I just realized that if I keep reading these comments,

1316
01:01:08,920 --> 01:01:12,640
Speaker 1: I won't be happy ever again. And it also felt

1317
01:01:12,640 --> 01:01:14,840
Speaker 1: weird now in hindsight looking back, Why am I giving

1318
01:01:14,880 --> 01:01:17,560
Speaker 1: them the power to make me feel some sort of

1319
01:01:17,560 --> 01:01:20,680
Speaker 1: way about myself even though that's nowhere near to what

1320
01:01:20,800 --> 01:01:24,320
Speaker 1: my reality is? And I think sometimes the lines of

1321
01:01:24,320 --> 01:01:28,080
Speaker 1: social media and reality can get blurred to where I

1322
01:01:28,120 --> 01:01:31,160
Speaker 1: am not that, So why would I even entertain that

1323
01:01:31,320 --> 01:01:33,560
Speaker 1: enough for me to go home and cry, yeah, I'm.

1324
01:01:33,440 --> 01:01:36,960
Speaker 2: Sorry, sorry to I can't imagine, like that's being pregnant,

1325
01:01:38,280 --> 01:01:40,160
Speaker 2: taking care of kids, figuring out you know, it's like

1326
01:01:40,560 --> 01:01:42,320
Speaker 2: it's a lot. Though it's a lot, it's a lot

1327
01:01:42,360 --> 01:01:46,360
Speaker 2: to carry in. It's it's so bizarre to me that

1328
01:01:46,440 --> 01:01:49,040
Speaker 2: someone is doing what you do can be controversial today,

1329
01:01:49,080 --> 01:01:51,440
Speaker 2: Like it's so bizarre, Like it goes totally over my

1330
01:01:51,480 --> 01:01:53,640
Speaker 2: head because I'm like, wait a minute, like how is this?

1331
01:01:53,720 --> 01:01:54,440
Speaker 1: It could be anything?

1332
01:01:55,440 --> 01:01:58,160
Speaker 2: Like you know, it's it's it's so funny how something

1333
01:01:58,200 --> 01:02:03,680
Speaker 2: that's so fine and expressive and what to me comes

1334
01:02:03,680 --> 01:02:06,880
Speaker 2: across as artistic and yea, that can be anything. I

1335
01:02:06,880 --> 01:02:09,360
Speaker 2: don't even know how you misconstrue it, Like I can't

1336
01:02:09,400 --> 01:02:10,760
Speaker 2: even wrap my head around that.

1337
01:02:10,840 --> 01:02:13,560
Speaker 1: I don't know, but I think that's also where I struggled,

1338
01:02:13,600 --> 01:02:15,160
Speaker 1: because I was like, I'm just doing this for fun.

1339
01:02:15,200 --> 01:02:17,160
Speaker 1: I just love cooking, I love being in the kitchen,

1340
01:02:17,200 --> 01:02:21,160
Speaker 1: my kids need to eat, my husband wants something specific

1341
01:02:21,200 --> 01:02:23,680
Speaker 1: that I can just film me making. And it just

1342
01:02:23,760 --> 01:02:27,000
Speaker 1: came from such a loving and fun place that then

1343
01:02:27,040 --> 01:02:29,320
Speaker 1: I think it hit me harder when people had all

1344
01:02:29,360 --> 01:02:32,520
Speaker 1: these negative opinions on it, because I just felt like

1345
01:02:32,560 --> 01:02:35,680
Speaker 1: I was sticking to myself. I wasn't like on the

1346
01:02:35,680 --> 01:02:39,919
Speaker 1: internet slagging anyone off or doing anything controversial, at least

1347
01:02:39,920 --> 01:02:42,760
Speaker 1: in my opinion, And then seeing those comments, I was

1348
01:02:42,920 --> 01:02:45,760
Speaker 1: just very taken aback and confused by it. But now

1349
01:02:46,160 --> 01:02:48,360
Speaker 1: I've kind of moved past that and really figured out

1350
01:02:48,440 --> 01:02:52,760
Speaker 1: how to manage my reality and my work in a

1351
01:02:52,800 --> 01:02:53,360
Speaker 1: better way.

1352
01:02:53,600 --> 01:02:56,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely, I love the way you've split that up.

1353
01:02:56,320 --> 01:02:58,800
Speaker 2: And Yeah, I think that's such great advice for anyone

1354
01:02:58,840 --> 01:03:01,920
Speaker 2: who's online or create and even in life. Yeah, I

1355
01:03:01,960 --> 01:03:03,760
Speaker 2: think you know, even if you're not a creator and

1356
01:03:03,800 --> 01:03:06,960
Speaker 2: you're listening to what Nara's saying right now, there's such

1357
01:03:06,960 --> 01:03:09,000
Speaker 2: a reality in being able to separate and say, these

1358
01:03:09,040 --> 01:03:12,000
Speaker 2: people really know me, they've lived life with me, and

1359
01:03:12,040 --> 01:03:13,520
Speaker 2: by the way, they're honest with me. It's not like

1360
01:03:13,560 --> 01:03:15,960
Speaker 2: I'm surrounded by people who agree with me. But at

1361
01:03:15,960 --> 01:03:17,520
Speaker 2: the same time, there's a group of people here. Maybe

1362
01:03:17,520 --> 01:03:20,400
Speaker 2: it's people your colleagues, maybe it's people that you sometimes

1363
01:03:20,440 --> 01:03:23,560
Speaker 2: work with. Maybe it's people at school, college, whatever, and

1364
01:03:23,600 --> 01:03:26,120
Speaker 2: maybe who don't really know you, and they also don't

1365
01:03:26,120 --> 01:03:28,280
Speaker 2: know what you're going through. I think something you've done

1366
01:03:28,320 --> 01:03:31,800
Speaker 2: so beautifully is you've spoken so openly about your exemer journey.

1367
01:03:32,040 --> 01:03:34,800
Speaker 2: You've even shared imagery, and like, when I saw you

1368
01:03:34,880 --> 01:03:37,960
Speaker 2: do that, thought wow, this requires so much vulnerability, requires

1369
01:03:38,040 --> 01:03:42,040
Speaker 2: so much courage, It requires so much strength to see

1370
01:03:42,040 --> 01:03:45,880
Speaker 2: someone like yourself, who is known for fashion and modeling

1371
01:03:45,960 --> 01:03:48,680
Speaker 2: and all of that, to actually come out and share that.

1372
01:03:49,040 --> 01:03:51,600
Speaker 2: Walk us through why it was so important for you

1373
01:03:51,640 --> 01:03:53,920
Speaker 2: to share that, and also what was Yeah, what made

1374
01:03:54,000 --> 01:03:54,480
Speaker 2: you do that?

1375
01:03:54,760 --> 01:03:57,720
Speaker 1: I think by nature, I'm a very private person. So

1376
01:03:57,800 --> 01:04:01,000
Speaker 1: I think even with the content I put out, it

1377
01:04:01,040 --> 01:04:03,920
Speaker 1: feels very safe to me because even though I'm showing

1378
01:04:03,960 --> 01:04:06,600
Speaker 1: parts of my life, I'm not giving everything away. And

1379
01:04:06,680 --> 01:04:11,479
Speaker 1: I think sometimes I feel like there's so many young

1380
01:04:11,520 --> 01:04:14,280
Speaker 1: girls out there, or girls or boys or whoever actually

1381
01:04:14,440 --> 01:04:18,720
Speaker 1: that watch my content and think I'm perfect. I'm not perfect.

1382
01:04:18,760 --> 01:04:21,400
Speaker 1: I'm nowhere near perfect. No one is. No one is perfect,

1383
01:04:21,400 --> 01:04:24,760
Speaker 1: regardless of how high of a pedestal we put people on.

1384
01:04:24,880 --> 01:04:27,720
Speaker 1: And I think one of the things that I struggle

1385
01:04:27,760 --> 01:04:29,720
Speaker 1: with on a day to day basis is my exzema

1386
01:04:29,800 --> 01:04:33,360
Speaker 1: and my loopus, and I really struggle sometimes getting out

1387
01:04:33,400 --> 01:04:37,840
Speaker 1: of bed or looking presentable or feeling confident when my

1388
01:04:37,880 --> 01:04:40,040
Speaker 1: face is flaring up or I'm losing my hair in

1389
01:04:40,120 --> 01:04:42,720
Speaker 1: chunks or whatever it may be. So I kind of

1390
01:04:42,720 --> 01:04:45,840
Speaker 1: got to a point that I just felt like I

1391
01:04:46,000 --> 01:04:49,600
Speaker 1: had to share that with people to help anyone go

1392
01:04:49,840 --> 01:04:52,160
Speaker 1: through it, because I think a lot of people put

1393
01:04:52,160 --> 01:04:54,000
Speaker 1: me on this pedestal of me being perfect, and I

1394
01:04:54,080 --> 01:04:57,320
Speaker 1: just wanted people to realize that everyone goes through things.

1395
01:04:57,320 --> 01:05:02,000
Speaker 1: Everyone has things that they deal with, maybe behind closed doors,

1396
01:05:02,000 --> 01:05:04,760
Speaker 1: And if there's even just one person that could feel

1397
01:05:04,760 --> 01:05:07,080
Speaker 1: a little bit more confident to deal with their flare up,

1398
01:05:07,200 --> 01:05:10,080
Speaker 1: or to feel seen, or to feel understood, or to

1399
01:05:10,160 --> 01:05:13,280
Speaker 1: feel less lonely, that's what I want to use my

1400
01:05:13,320 --> 01:05:18,600
Speaker 1: platform for. And the amount of people, especially younger girls,

1401
01:05:18,720 --> 01:05:21,040
Speaker 1: that would DM me their pictures of their ex mel

1402
01:05:21,080 --> 01:05:23,520
Speaker 1: or DM me how they felt, or the fact that

1403
01:05:23,600 --> 01:05:27,000
Speaker 1: they couldn't believe that I would post these images online

1404
01:05:27,040 --> 01:05:30,160
Speaker 1: because they can't even leave the house feeling the way

1405
01:05:30,160 --> 01:05:32,800
Speaker 1: they feel. It just made me feel like I actually

1406
01:05:33,040 --> 01:05:36,080
Speaker 1: did something to help someone, and that's always been something

1407
01:05:36,120 --> 01:05:38,080
Speaker 1: that's been really, really really important to me.

1408
01:05:38,640 --> 01:05:41,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so beautiful to see you use your platform

1409
01:05:41,160 --> 01:05:43,280
Speaker 2: for that. I can't imagine how much that means to

1410
01:05:43,320 --> 01:05:46,960
Speaker 2: those young girls. I growing up had really bad XMN.

1411
01:05:47,040 --> 01:05:48,560
Speaker 1: Oh, so you get it, remember.

1412
01:05:48,240 --> 01:05:50,640
Speaker 2: What it was like, and it took a long time

1413
01:05:50,680 --> 01:05:53,600
Speaker 2: for my parents. We tried out everything impossible under the sun,

1414
01:05:53,680 --> 01:05:56,280
Speaker 2: and you know it will come back and go away,

1415
01:05:56,360 --> 01:05:59,560
Speaker 2: and you know, so I can't imagine how much strength

1416
01:05:59,560 --> 01:06:02,040
Speaker 2: they feel knowing that someone like yourself that they look

1417
01:06:02,120 --> 01:06:05,480
Speaker 2: up to and admire and you know that they follow,

1418
01:06:05,600 --> 01:06:07,800
Speaker 2: is being able to share that journey with them. And

1419
01:06:07,840 --> 01:06:10,080
Speaker 2: that's also what started, as you were saying earlier, what

1420
01:06:10,240 --> 01:06:13,160
Speaker 2: started the from scratch? Yeah, food right, Like that's connected.

1421
01:06:13,200 --> 01:06:14,160
Speaker 2: Can you walk us through that.

1422
01:06:14,440 --> 01:06:16,720
Speaker 1: A lot of people think it's a gimmick, and I

1423
01:06:17,200 --> 01:06:18,920
Speaker 1: get it, like I'm not going to be in the

1424
01:06:18,960 --> 01:06:22,560
Speaker 1: kitchen every day making bubble gum, but those are like

1425
01:06:22,600 --> 01:06:26,120
Speaker 1: the fun things to me. But initially where my cooking

1426
01:06:26,200 --> 01:06:29,280
Speaker 1: kind of came from is after my son was born,

1427
01:06:29,360 --> 01:06:32,160
Speaker 1: my ex must started flaring up tenfold again, and it

1428
01:06:32,200 --> 01:06:35,640
Speaker 1: was really really bad, and it just kept getting progressively worse.

1429
01:06:35,760 --> 01:06:39,000
Speaker 1: And then when he was around two, I just remember

1430
01:06:39,280 --> 01:06:42,360
Speaker 1: I had this insane flare up all over my body.

1431
01:06:42,480 --> 01:06:45,160
Speaker 1: I could barely get out of bed. I was. It

1432
01:06:45,200 --> 01:06:48,200
Speaker 1: was horrible, and I just remember feeling so helpless and

1433
01:06:48,280 --> 01:06:50,120
Speaker 1: so sad, and I didn't know what to do. So

1434
01:06:50,160 --> 01:06:53,040
Speaker 1: I did so much research on food and how it

1435
01:06:53,080 --> 01:06:55,800
Speaker 1: impacts your body and all these things. I would spend

1436
01:06:55,800 --> 01:06:58,880
Speaker 1: countless hours browsing social media, reading books, doing all these

1437
01:06:58,880 --> 01:07:02,240
Speaker 1: things to figure out how to heal myself. And I

1438
01:07:02,280 --> 01:07:06,160
Speaker 1: think a huge part of my egzima was that I

1439
01:07:06,240 --> 01:07:08,600
Speaker 1: was eating all the processed food, not all of it,

1440
01:07:08,680 --> 01:07:10,480
Speaker 1: but I feel like, by default, when you go to

1441
01:07:10,680 --> 01:07:13,960
Speaker 1: a grocery store, you buy bread because you think it's bread,

1442
01:07:14,000 --> 01:07:15,880
Speaker 1: but then you never check the ingredients for it to

1443
01:07:15,880 --> 01:07:19,320
Speaker 1: be thirty different ingredients or you, I don't know, you

1444
01:07:19,360 --> 01:07:22,440
Speaker 1: buy the most random things thinking that there shouldn't be

1445
01:07:22,480 --> 01:07:24,640
Speaker 1: a lot of stuff in there. And the more I

1446
01:07:24,760 --> 01:07:27,440
Speaker 1: kind of checked the ingredients on things, I realized that

1447
01:07:27,480 --> 01:07:31,000
Speaker 1: I was actually not eating good food, and also raising kids.

1448
01:07:31,000 --> 01:07:32,680
Speaker 1: It was really important for me for them to have

1449
01:07:32,720 --> 01:07:35,400
Speaker 1: a really good diet because growing up in Germany, food

1450
01:07:35,440 --> 01:07:37,640
Speaker 1: is so different over there. I always grew up with

1451
01:07:37,680 --> 01:07:40,640
Speaker 1: my dad going to the store every day cooking fresh food.

1452
01:07:40,680 --> 01:07:42,960
Speaker 1: We never had processed food. It was never the way

1453
01:07:43,000 --> 01:07:46,600
Speaker 1: it is in America. So then I kind of shifted

1454
01:07:46,640 --> 01:07:49,640
Speaker 1: my whole eating and I went on an anti inflammatory

1455
01:07:49,720 --> 01:07:52,080
Speaker 1: diet and really made sure that I was eating right.

1456
01:07:52,200 --> 01:07:55,640
Speaker 1: And then that kind of morphed into me making more

1457
01:07:55,680 --> 01:07:57,880
Speaker 1: things because a lot of the anti inflammatory stuff you

1458
01:07:57,920 --> 01:07:59,640
Speaker 1: couldn't just find on shelves. So I was like, I'll

1459
01:07:59,640 --> 01:08:02,600
Speaker 1: just make my own waffles with cassava flour and coconut

1460
01:08:02,640 --> 01:08:05,040
Speaker 1: milk and all these different things. And then that kind

1461
01:08:05,040 --> 01:08:07,120
Speaker 1: of just evolved and evolved, and then I was like,

1462
01:08:07,160 --> 01:08:09,040
Speaker 1: I can make bread, I can make sour though, I

1463
01:08:09,040 --> 01:08:12,280
Speaker 1: can make I don't know, cheese, whatever it may be.

1464
01:08:12,440 --> 01:08:14,960
Speaker 1: It kind of just turned into a passion of mind

1465
01:08:15,000 --> 01:08:17,640
Speaker 1: to do that, and I just realized it can be

1466
01:08:17,720 --> 01:08:20,000
Speaker 1: more cost effective. Not everything, but a lot of things

1467
01:08:20,040 --> 01:08:22,760
Speaker 1: are more cost effective if you make them yourself. It's

1468
01:08:23,000 --> 01:08:25,120
Speaker 1: you know, exactly what goes into your food and you

1469
01:08:25,160 --> 01:08:28,479
Speaker 1: can kind of customize it the way that you want it.

1470
01:08:28,600 --> 01:08:30,960
Speaker 1: So if you want your bread to be saltier, put

1471
01:08:31,240 --> 01:08:34,120
Speaker 1: more salt in, or whatever it may be, you can

1472
01:08:34,240 --> 01:08:37,240
Speaker 1: kind of do. And I think my love for cooking

1473
01:08:37,400 --> 01:08:39,760
Speaker 1: played into that. And then I just spent so much

1474
01:08:39,760 --> 01:08:42,960
Speaker 1: time in the kitchen developing recipes and cooking and really

1475
01:08:43,960 --> 01:08:46,040
Speaker 1: just having fun with that. And then that's where the

1476
01:08:46,080 --> 01:08:49,320
Speaker 1: content kind of came in and people it kind of

1477
01:08:49,320 --> 01:08:52,160
Speaker 1: divided the Internet a little to where people either loved

1478
01:08:52,160 --> 01:08:55,600
Speaker 1: it or hated it, and that's kind of what kickstarted

1479
01:08:55,600 --> 01:08:59,040
Speaker 1: my whole content. But also I think growing up with

1480
01:08:59,080 --> 01:09:01,799
Speaker 1: my German grandma, she made so many things from scratch,

1481
01:09:01,840 --> 01:09:05,240
Speaker 1: and I think the older generations do that. I never

1482
01:09:05,560 --> 01:09:08,760
Speaker 1: people are always so shocked that I'm doing it and

1483
01:09:08,800 --> 01:09:11,400
Speaker 1: they've never seen it before. And then there's people that

1484
01:09:11,479 --> 01:09:15,040
Speaker 1: really slate me on the internet for being inauthentic and

1485
01:09:15,040 --> 01:09:17,360
Speaker 1: that this has been done before, and I've obviously it's

1486
01:09:17,360 --> 01:09:20,280
Speaker 1: been done before. Or do you think, where do you

1487
01:09:20,280 --> 01:09:22,240
Speaker 1: think all of our food used to come from? Like

1488
01:09:22,760 --> 01:09:26,040
Speaker 1: I'm so surrendom No, it's so random. So I just

1489
01:09:26,200 --> 01:09:28,760
Speaker 1: I love celebrating that as well, and every time I

1490
01:09:28,840 --> 01:09:32,040
Speaker 1: bake bread or do something that reminds me of my grandma,

1491
01:09:32,120 --> 01:09:34,680
Speaker 1: that's something that I really do cherish. So that's kind

1492
01:09:34,720 --> 01:09:37,479
Speaker 1: of where it all started my health, playing into that

1493
01:09:37,600 --> 01:09:40,000
Speaker 1: and then me just kind of recording what I would

1494
01:09:40,040 --> 01:09:42,720
Speaker 1: naturally do, and then sometimes i'd have fun with it

1495
01:09:42,800 --> 01:09:44,519
Speaker 1: and put a fun voice over with it, or like

1496
01:09:44,640 --> 01:09:48,439
Speaker 1: dramaticize things just a little bit, or make a recipe

1497
01:09:48,479 --> 01:09:50,640
Speaker 1: that's a little quirky, like making bubble gum, which is

1498
01:09:50,680 --> 01:09:53,519
Speaker 1: so easy and fun to make. So I think my

1499
01:09:53,680 --> 01:09:56,840
Speaker 1: reality and then playing into it a little was what

1500
01:09:56,960 --> 01:09:58,400
Speaker 1: really formed my content.

1501
01:09:58,280 --> 01:10:02,120
Speaker 2: And that is the food you're eating and the kids. Yes, yes,

1502
01:10:02,439 --> 01:10:05,360
Speaker 2: I was like, it's yeah, it's not just for the

1503
01:10:05,400 --> 01:10:07,040
Speaker 2: content they're eating that.

1504
01:10:07,200 --> 01:10:09,360
Speaker 1: No, we don't. We don't usually buy bread, we don't

1505
01:10:09,400 --> 01:10:12,200
Speaker 1: usually do all these things. Obviously, I love eating out.

1506
01:10:12,240 --> 01:10:15,759
Speaker 1: Sometimes I'm also just a mom. I love trying new restaurants.

1507
01:10:15,840 --> 01:10:18,639
Speaker 1: So it is kind of that duality of when we're

1508
01:10:18,680 --> 01:10:20,760
Speaker 1: at home, I try to make as many things as

1509
01:10:20,760 --> 01:10:24,519
Speaker 1: I can myself, and when we're traveling or out, I'll

1510
01:10:24,560 --> 01:10:27,280
Speaker 1: do whatever it takes to do that. Sometimes I love

1511
01:10:27,320 --> 01:10:29,679
Speaker 1: a good restaurant. Sometimes I'll much rather cook at home.

1512
01:10:29,760 --> 01:10:33,760
Speaker 1: So I think that's another big thing, like I love

1513
01:10:33,840 --> 01:10:36,560
Speaker 1: doing both and I'm not confined to the kitchen. I

1514
01:10:37,120 --> 01:10:39,519
Speaker 1: cook and do things because I love to do it,

1515
01:10:39,560 --> 01:10:42,360
Speaker 1: not because I have to. If I'm tired, I will

1516
01:10:42,360 --> 01:10:44,960
Speaker 1: go and eat out. If I don't want to do that,

1517
01:10:45,040 --> 01:10:47,559
Speaker 1: I will go into the kitchen and make myself a meal.

1518
01:10:48,000 --> 01:10:50,320
Speaker 1: And I think I just love it so much to

1519
01:10:50,400 --> 01:10:52,400
Speaker 1: where it never feels like a chor to me.

1520
01:10:52,560 --> 01:10:55,120
Speaker 2: Do you remember the moment you nailed like you figured

1521
01:10:55,120 --> 01:10:57,320
Speaker 2: it out where you were like, I'm gonna wear this,

1522
01:10:57,600 --> 01:11:00,600
Speaker 2: I'm gonna cook this and the voice like because when

1523
01:11:00,640 --> 01:11:02,519
Speaker 2: I first watched you and I was like the voice

1524
01:11:02,600 --> 01:11:05,479
Speaker 2: was different, I was like, this is amazing. I was like,

1525
01:11:07,120 --> 01:11:09,439
Speaker 2: I just love creativity, like I get a real like

1526
01:11:10,080 --> 01:11:12,560
Speaker 2: kick out of it, like seeing someone. The point is

1527
01:11:12,600 --> 01:11:14,400
Speaker 2: you're playing into the joke like it's part of the

1528
01:11:14,640 --> 01:11:16,479
Speaker 2: you know, you're very consciously doing it.

1529
01:11:16,600 --> 01:11:21,680
Speaker 1: So the voice actually originated from I love ASMR. I

1530
01:11:21,720 --> 01:11:23,439
Speaker 1: listened to it every night before I go to bed.

1531
01:11:23,720 --> 01:11:26,280
Speaker 1: I even like the ASMR where people like eat food

1532
01:11:26,280 --> 01:11:32,880
Speaker 1: and it's like storpy sounds that's whatever. So I love ASMR.

1533
01:11:33,280 --> 01:11:36,120
Speaker 1: I also the voice originated for me actually having to

1534
01:11:36,120 --> 01:11:39,360
Speaker 1: be quiet because my kid fell asleep like right next

1535
01:11:39,439 --> 01:11:42,080
Speaker 1: to me, and I had to be so quiet talking

1536
01:11:42,680 --> 01:11:45,479
Speaker 1: to where that kind of developed and then people were like,

1537
01:11:45,680 --> 01:11:49,000
Speaker 1: we love the ASMR. I like put it on, Like

1538
01:11:49,040 --> 01:11:51,479
Speaker 1: people literally put on my videos for their children to

1539
01:11:51,520 --> 01:11:54,840
Speaker 1: go to bed too, and that is something that was

1540
01:11:54,880 --> 01:11:57,679
Speaker 1: really fun to me. So the voice kind of came

1541
01:11:57,720 --> 01:12:00,879
Speaker 1: and played a role in it, and I was never conscious.

1542
01:12:00,880 --> 01:12:02,679
Speaker 1: I was like, I'd literally just have to be quiet

1543
01:12:02,680 --> 01:12:04,680
Speaker 1: because my kids sleeping next to me. I spend an

1544
01:12:04,720 --> 01:12:06,360
Speaker 1: hour putting them down. I'm not going to have them

1545
01:12:06,400 --> 01:12:08,320
Speaker 1: wake up, but I do need to get this content up.

1546
01:12:08,600 --> 01:12:10,040
Speaker 1: So that's where the voice came from.

1547
01:12:10,080 --> 01:12:11,920
Speaker 2: Wow, that's such a cool story. That's great.

1548
01:12:11,960 --> 01:12:16,080
Speaker 1: And then the outfits. I just loved dressing up. I

1549
01:12:16,160 --> 01:12:18,280
Speaker 1: remember when I started dating Lucky, I told him I

1550
01:12:18,280 --> 01:12:20,880
Speaker 1: will never wear a dress ever, and he was like,

1551
01:12:20,960 --> 01:12:23,000
Speaker 1: just try it and I was like no. But then

1552
01:12:23,080 --> 01:12:25,200
Speaker 1: I was pregnant with my third and all that was

1553
01:12:25,520 --> 01:12:28,559
Speaker 1: fitting in the Texas heat was addressed. So then that

1554
01:12:28,680 --> 01:12:30,880
Speaker 1: kind of evolved in my content as well, to where

1555
01:12:30,880 --> 01:12:33,080
Speaker 1: I kind of got known for my fashion and the

1556
01:12:33,160 --> 01:12:36,840
Speaker 1: dresses that I wore, and then that kind of evolved

1557
01:12:36,840 --> 01:12:39,960
Speaker 1: more and more, where Chanelle actually send me a look

1558
01:12:40,000 --> 01:12:42,559
Speaker 1: that they would debut on the runway months later and

1559
01:12:42,560 --> 01:12:45,360
Speaker 1: they'd never done that with anyone ever before, and that

1560
01:12:45,439 --> 01:12:48,280
Speaker 1: felt like such a privilege. And then fashion obviously has

1561
01:12:48,320 --> 01:12:50,760
Speaker 1: been a part of my life for so long, so

1562
01:12:50,840 --> 01:12:53,320
Speaker 1: that just became like a fun outlet for me. I'm like,

1563
01:12:53,400 --> 01:12:55,439
Speaker 1: if I'm not going to leave the house in these outfits,

1564
01:12:55,479 --> 01:12:58,040
Speaker 1: I will wear them in my kitchen. So that's where

1565
01:12:58,080 --> 01:13:00,240
Speaker 1: that came from. And then what else was there that's

1566
01:13:00,320 --> 01:13:01,960
Speaker 1: kind of those are the pillars of kind of what

1567
01:13:02,000 --> 01:13:02,200
Speaker 1: I do.

1568
01:13:02,439 --> 01:13:04,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, we talked about the cookie. Yeah, the fashion in

1569
01:13:04,640 --> 01:13:05,000
Speaker 2: the vite.

1570
01:13:05,040 --> 01:13:07,280
Speaker 1: I think it just like evolved with time. It was

1571
01:13:07,360 --> 01:13:09,559
Speaker 1: never like a conscious thing that I sat down and

1572
01:13:09,600 --> 01:13:11,400
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm going to speak like this to

1573
01:13:11,479 --> 01:13:13,320
Speaker 1: do this, I'm going to wear this to do that.

1574
01:13:13,720 --> 01:13:16,479
Speaker 1: I'm going to do this because I want a reaction.

1575
01:13:16,680 --> 01:13:20,599
Speaker 1: It was never premeditated or thought out or whatever it is.

1576
01:13:20,640 --> 01:13:23,400
Speaker 1: It just kind of evolved. And then sometimes I'm like, yeah,

1577
01:13:23,400 --> 01:13:25,439
Speaker 1: it would be fun wearing a yellow outfit to make

1578
01:13:25,479 --> 01:13:28,519
Speaker 1: capri sun because I want to. It's just I'm just

1579
01:13:28,600 --> 01:13:32,519
Speaker 1: having fun expressing myself and if people want to tune in.

1580
01:13:32,560 --> 01:13:33,000
Speaker 1: It's great.

1581
01:13:33,200 --> 01:13:37,679
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love people knowing that nine percent of creators

1582
01:13:37,680 --> 01:13:40,639
Speaker 2: when they start something, it was never that thought through

1583
01:13:41,040 --> 01:13:43,000
Speaker 2: and that's what made it so beautiful. Like I remember,

1584
01:13:43,000 --> 01:13:44,839
Speaker 2: if you look at my first videos I ever created,

1585
01:13:45,360 --> 01:13:49,200
Speaker 2: I'm in these really beautiful scenic locations in London. But

1586
01:13:49,240 --> 01:13:52,000
Speaker 2: the truth is me and my friend were just walking

1587
01:13:52,000 --> 01:13:55,120
Speaker 2: around trying to find out where security wasn't right. So

1588
01:13:55,120 --> 01:13:58,320
Speaker 2: we had no permits, we had no booking, we had

1589
01:13:58,360 --> 01:14:00,800
Speaker 2: no money to like say oh day, So we would

1590
01:14:00,800 --> 01:14:03,479
Speaker 2: just walk around London early in the morning and try

1591
01:14:03,479 --> 01:14:06,439
Speaker 2: and figure out where security wasn't and we'd find these

1592
01:14:06,479 --> 01:14:09,320
Speaker 2: spots where you'd get like London Bridge in the background

1593
01:14:09,439 --> 01:14:12,920
Speaker 2: or Sampaul's Cathedral in the background, all these beautiful iconic

1594
01:14:12,960 --> 01:14:16,120
Speaker 2: locations because I liked the look of them, and we

1595
01:14:16,160 --> 01:14:19,920
Speaker 2: would just find it. My earliest mic was literally a

1596
01:14:19,960 --> 01:14:22,840
Speaker 2: backpack with a mic stuck into it to hold it

1597
01:14:22,960 --> 01:14:26,000
Speaker 2: up because we didn't have a mic stand. And in

1598
01:14:26,040 --> 01:14:28,559
Speaker 2: the first videos you see my hair is like flying

1599
01:14:28,600 --> 01:14:30,439
Speaker 2: all over the place and everyone be like, why's he

1600
01:14:30,479 --> 01:14:33,240
Speaker 2: got a wind machine? No, it was cold, I was

1601
01:14:33,280 --> 01:14:36,320
Speaker 2: in London and my hair was just moving and like

1602
01:14:36,400 --> 01:14:39,280
Speaker 2: it just looked really those early videos at that time.

1603
01:14:39,280 --> 01:14:40,880
Speaker 2: I mean, now they'd be out of date, but if

1604
01:14:40,920 --> 01:14:42,800
Speaker 2: you looked at them like ten years ago when I

1605
01:14:43,040 --> 01:14:45,720
Speaker 2: nine years ago, when I first started creating content, these

1606
01:14:45,800 --> 01:14:49,280
Speaker 2: videos went super viral. But it was like I didn't

1607
01:14:49,320 --> 01:14:52,960
Speaker 2: plan any of that. That was just what happened. And

1608
01:14:53,120 --> 01:14:56,120
Speaker 2: obviously what I said was planned or thought through, but

1609
01:14:57,000 --> 01:14:59,120
Speaker 2: all these little things that people would notice, it was

1610
01:14:59,160 --> 01:15:01,200
Speaker 2: like we just got lucky. Like there's a lot of

1611
01:15:01,200 --> 01:15:02,360
Speaker 2: it that was just you know.

1612
01:15:02,640 --> 01:15:05,080
Speaker 1: That's how I feel. Sometimes people are like, I can't

1613
01:15:05,080 --> 01:15:08,559
Speaker 1: believe your outfit matches this, and I'm like I didn't

1614
01:15:08,600 --> 01:15:11,200
Speaker 1: even realize either. Or people are like I can't believe

1615
01:15:11,240 --> 01:15:14,280
Speaker 1: you've never spilled anything on yourself. I'm like oh, Or

1616
01:15:14,280 --> 01:15:16,960
Speaker 1: they're like wearing white to cook pasta sauces brave and

1617
01:15:17,000 --> 01:15:19,200
Speaker 1: that doesn't even cross my mind, or all these like

1618
01:15:19,280 --> 01:15:22,559
Speaker 1: random little things that people pick up on you don't

1619
01:15:22,600 --> 01:15:25,800
Speaker 1: really do consciously. People always tell me she has a

1620
01:15:25,840 --> 01:15:28,719
Speaker 1: full production team and a nanny and staff at home

1621
01:15:28,760 --> 01:15:30,960
Speaker 1: and a cleaning crew, and I'm like, it's literally me

1622
01:15:31,080 --> 01:15:34,280
Speaker 1: my iPhone, a tripod. Sometimes Lucky's like, do you want

1623
01:15:34,360 --> 01:15:36,439
Speaker 1: help filming? And I'm like no, because it needs to

1624
01:15:36,439 --> 01:15:39,439
Speaker 1: be like a certain I'm like very type A. So

1625
01:15:39,920 --> 01:15:41,679
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, no, no, it's me and my tripod.

1626
01:15:41,720 --> 01:15:45,240
Speaker 1: It's okay. And then he does clean up. Bless his heart,

1627
01:15:45,520 --> 01:15:47,599
Speaker 1: because at the end of my videos there's like a

1628
01:15:47,640 --> 01:15:50,640
Speaker 1: pile of dishes. But people always assume these things and

1629
01:15:50,640 --> 01:15:53,280
Speaker 1: they're like, she has a nanny. No, we don't. Lucky

1630
01:15:53,320 --> 01:15:56,120
Speaker 1: and I tag team, and when I'm filming, he's with

1631
01:15:56,200 --> 01:15:58,920
Speaker 1: the children. When he has to travel for work, I'm

1632
01:15:58,960 --> 01:16:01,320
Speaker 1: with the kids. And now it's at a point where

1633
01:16:01,439 --> 01:16:04,080
Speaker 1: we should be looking at getting help because it's getting

1634
01:16:04,479 --> 01:16:06,800
Speaker 1: quite a lot and we don't have family that live by.

1635
01:16:06,880 --> 01:16:10,559
Speaker 1: But all these assumptions based on a piece of content

1636
01:16:10,640 --> 01:16:14,559
Speaker 1: that ninety nine percent is just coincidence has always been

1637
01:16:14,600 --> 01:16:15,640
Speaker 1: really baffling to me.

1638
01:16:16,520 --> 01:16:19,439
Speaker 2: Before we dive into the next moment, let's hear from

1639
01:16:19,479 --> 01:16:23,439
Speaker 2: our sponsors. Thanks for taking a moment for that. Now

1640
01:16:23,479 --> 01:16:26,200
Speaker 2: back to the discussion. I think it's just so hard

1641
01:16:26,240 --> 01:16:30,400
Speaker 2: for people to imagine, like how can someone be a

1642
01:16:30,479 --> 01:16:35,320
Speaker 2: mom cook every day from scratch look great, like you know,

1643
01:16:35,360 --> 01:16:37,800
Speaker 2: like I have all your esthetic down. Like it's so

1644
01:16:37,920 --> 01:16:39,880
Speaker 2: hard because so many people are just like trying to

1645
01:16:39,920 --> 01:16:43,080
Speaker 2: like get by, but you've made it something that's fun

1646
01:16:43,120 --> 01:16:46,760
Speaker 2: for you and enthuses you and energizes you, like it's

1647
01:16:46,760 --> 01:16:49,760
Speaker 2: not something and you've taken something that you're doing every

1648
01:16:49,840 --> 01:16:52,320
Speaker 2: day anyway for the kids because you want to cook

1649
01:16:52,320 --> 01:16:53,680
Speaker 2: for them, and made it something fun. And I think

1650
01:16:53,680 --> 01:16:55,960
Speaker 2: about it like my mom. I've been talking about this

1651
01:16:56,000 --> 01:16:57,840
Speaker 2: a lot lately because I've been reflecting on just like

1652
01:16:57,880 --> 01:17:01,599
Speaker 2: how amazing my mom is. It's like my mom cooked

1653
01:17:01,600 --> 01:17:05,559
Speaker 2: me and my sister a fresh breakfast, a fresh lunch,

1654
01:17:05,600 --> 01:17:09,520
Speaker 2: and a fresh dinner every day. She was the breadwinner

1655
01:17:09,520 --> 01:17:12,920
Speaker 2: of the family. She dropped us to school, picked us

1656
01:17:13,000 --> 01:17:15,120
Speaker 2: up until I was old enough to do it myself.

1657
01:17:15,880 --> 01:17:18,439
Speaker 2: She helped me with my homework, she helped my sister

1658
01:17:18,520 --> 01:17:21,240
Speaker 2: with her homework. My mom just didn't film it. If

1659
01:17:21,280 --> 01:17:23,280
Speaker 2: social media was a thing, can you imagine? And my

1660
01:17:23,360 --> 01:17:25,080
Speaker 2: mom could have filmed it because she was doing all

1661
01:17:25,160 --> 01:17:27,599
Speaker 2: of that and she literally did all of that. Now,

1662
01:17:27,640 --> 01:17:31,840
Speaker 2: she didn't do it in channel, but she did all

1663
01:17:31,880 --> 01:17:34,240
Speaker 2: of that. And even now I look back and I think, Mom,

1664
01:17:34,280 --> 01:17:36,000
Speaker 2: how did you do it? And I think I look

1665
01:17:36,040 --> 01:17:38,120
Speaker 2: at you and I think it's amazing, Narah, Like it's

1666
01:17:38,200 --> 01:17:42,439
Speaker 2: really amazing that you're able to and it's kudos to you,

1667
01:17:42,520 --> 01:17:45,200
Speaker 2: Like you're the one working hard, you're the one figuring

1668
01:17:45,240 --> 01:17:47,360
Speaker 2: it out. You're and Lucky are the ones splitting it up.

1669
01:17:47,400 --> 01:17:51,000
Speaker 2: But it's admirable to see you're like working hard, You're

1670
01:17:51,000 --> 01:17:52,559
Speaker 2: taking care of your kids how you want to, You're

1671
01:17:52,560 --> 01:17:54,680
Speaker 2: cooking how you want to, You're dealing with your own

1672
01:17:54,760 --> 01:17:57,519
Speaker 2: personal health and everything else that comes with it. And

1673
01:17:57,600 --> 01:18:01,479
Speaker 2: I'm sure it's not easy. No it doesn't. Yeah, it's

1674
01:18:01,520 --> 01:18:02,040
Speaker 2: not easy.

1675
01:18:02,200 --> 01:18:05,080
Speaker 1: No, it's not easy. But I'm privileged to be able

1676
01:18:05,120 --> 01:18:07,680
Speaker 1: to do what I do. I feel so grateful that

1677
01:18:07,760 --> 01:18:10,000
Speaker 1: I get to do it and have the flexibility of

1678
01:18:10,320 --> 01:18:12,200
Speaker 1: being at home with the kids and splitting my time

1679
01:18:12,240 --> 01:18:14,800
Speaker 1: with Lucky. I feel grateful that his job allows that too.

1680
01:18:14,880 --> 01:18:19,280
Speaker 1: So I think we've created our little daily routines that

1681
01:18:19,400 --> 01:18:23,640
Speaker 1: really help, and we just love living life like this.

1682
01:18:23,720 --> 01:18:25,519
Speaker 1: And I know it doesn't work for everyone. And I

1683
01:18:26,320 --> 01:18:29,360
Speaker 1: always think it's such an interesting thing when people try

1684
01:18:29,400 --> 01:18:31,920
Speaker 1: to knock me down just because their life looks different.

1685
01:18:32,320 --> 01:18:35,120
Speaker 1: I understand our life look different. I'm not expecting you

1686
01:18:35,200 --> 01:18:37,400
Speaker 1: to do what I'm needing to do. I'm just putting

1687
01:18:37,439 --> 01:18:40,400
Speaker 1: out content, and if you feel some type of way

1688
01:18:40,439 --> 01:18:42,720
Speaker 1: about it, you can also just keep scrolling like I'm

1689
01:18:42,720 --> 01:18:45,120
Speaker 1: not forcing it down your throat. If you want to

1690
01:18:45,160 --> 01:18:47,080
Speaker 1: tune in, great and take away whatever you want to

1691
01:18:47,120 --> 01:18:49,240
Speaker 1: take away from it. Great. Like I've had moms be

1692
01:18:49,360 --> 01:18:52,280
Speaker 1: like not cooking like you, But I made my kid

1693
01:18:52,439 --> 01:18:55,479
Speaker 1: bread yesterday and it was amazing, and that always makes

1694
01:18:55,520 --> 01:18:57,200
Speaker 1: me smile. I'm like, you don't have to do it all.

1695
01:18:57,560 --> 01:19:00,240
Speaker 1: I don't do it all. That's the thing, like people poor.

1696
01:19:01,040 --> 01:19:03,720
Speaker 1: I think I'm this perfect person and I'm not. I

1697
01:19:03,760 --> 01:19:07,439
Speaker 1: have a husband that's very involved, I have very like

1698
01:19:07,520 --> 01:19:11,000
Speaker 1: good structure. On some days, I can't get out of

1699
01:19:11,000 --> 01:19:13,000
Speaker 1: bed because my loopus is flaring up and I just

1700
01:19:13,080 --> 01:19:17,320
Speaker 1: can't do that. So I think just taking my content

1701
01:19:17,680 --> 01:19:20,120
Speaker 1: with whatever you want to take from it and just

1702
01:19:20,240 --> 01:19:20,760
Speaker 1: enjoying it.

1703
01:19:20,880 --> 01:19:23,320
Speaker 2: Yeah. And if I'm honest, I see so many people.

1704
01:19:23,360 --> 01:19:25,800
Speaker 2: And there's one quote that I love from Gary Vee

1705
01:19:25,800 --> 01:19:28,760
Speaker 2: where he talks about how hate is loud. Yeah, and

1706
01:19:28,800 --> 01:19:31,840
Speaker 2: it's like I always remind myself that it's like people

1707
01:19:31,840 --> 01:19:34,400
Speaker 2: who love you are just quieter. Yeah, Like they don't

1708
01:19:34,560 --> 01:19:37,120
Speaker 2: like something, they won't say anything. No, they will, and

1709
01:19:37,200 --> 01:19:39,479
Speaker 2: yours is different. I Mean, there's so many wonderful comments

1710
01:19:39,640 --> 01:19:42,040
Speaker 2: whenever I'm looking at your stuff, it's I see so

1711
01:19:42,040 --> 01:19:43,160
Speaker 2: many people being like me.

1712
01:19:43,240 --> 01:19:45,680
Speaker 1: I only see the hate comments. Yeah, I'm always like,

1713
01:19:45,800 --> 01:19:48,519
Speaker 1: oh okay, time to get off. After like five minutes,

1714
01:19:48,560 --> 01:19:50,519
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh no, okay, I have to be done now.

1715
01:19:50,680 --> 01:19:52,439
Speaker 2: And I think we're all like that because we're all

1716
01:19:52,439 --> 01:19:55,080
Speaker 2: wired that way. And I'm here to remind you and

1717
01:19:55,120 --> 01:19:57,000
Speaker 2: just say when I look at it, I see so

1718
01:19:57,040 --> 01:20:00,240
Speaker 2: many people being inspired, like I just tried that recipe.

1719
01:20:00,360 --> 01:20:02,800
Speaker 2: Oh I love that look like I'm gonna try this

1720
01:20:02,880 --> 01:20:05,000
Speaker 2: for my kids, or like, oh that was and what

1721
01:20:05,040 --> 01:20:06,640
Speaker 2: you just said, like my kids fall asleep to this.

1722
01:20:06,800 --> 01:20:10,200
Speaker 2: So And I think the beauty is that I don't

1723
01:20:10,200 --> 01:20:12,280
Speaker 2: think this. First of all, I think you're hilarious and

1724
01:20:12,439 --> 01:20:15,599
Speaker 2: really talented. I don't think you're saying that, at least

1725
01:20:15,640 --> 01:20:18,479
Speaker 2: from my perspective, not saying that anyone should do what

1726
01:20:18,479 --> 01:20:20,840
Speaker 2: you're doing at all. Like I don't know, you're not

1727
01:20:20,920 --> 01:20:23,280
Speaker 2: coming across as a teacher or a preacher or a guru,

1728
01:20:23,360 --> 01:20:25,400
Speaker 2: Like it's that's not what it comes across us. It's

1729
01:20:25,400 --> 01:20:27,640
Speaker 2: just that you're living your life and having fun and

1730
01:20:27,680 --> 01:20:32,000
Speaker 2: it's almost making something like you love cooking, and that's awesome.

1731
01:20:32,400 --> 01:20:36,400
Speaker 2: It's also just making something that's quite laborious into making

1732
01:20:36,880 --> 01:20:37,479
Speaker 2: it fun.

1733
01:20:38,200 --> 01:20:38,360
Speaker 1: Right.

1734
01:20:38,400 --> 01:20:40,479
Speaker 2: I saw this video the other day where it's like

1735
01:20:40,840 --> 01:20:43,120
Speaker 2: two guys who clean all the places that no one

1736
01:20:43,200 --> 01:20:45,720
Speaker 2: wants to and they video it and they put it

1737
01:20:45,720 --> 01:20:48,080
Speaker 2: on pick Stuff I love, and it's so cool. Like

1738
01:20:48,120 --> 01:20:50,799
Speaker 2: these guys will literally go around and clean subway stations,

1739
01:20:50,840 --> 01:20:53,240
Speaker 2: clean clean that clean stuff, makes stuff look nice because

1740
01:20:53,240 --> 01:20:54,560
Speaker 2: they want to. And I think it's they have a

1741
01:20:54,600 --> 01:20:57,720
Speaker 2: cleaning business too. But it's like it's so cool, and

1742
01:20:57,800 --> 01:21:00,880
Speaker 2: I'm like, that's awesome. Like you take something that's pretty

1743
01:21:00,880 --> 01:21:03,840
Speaker 2: hard to do, something that's true, and you're making it fun.

1744
01:21:04,360 --> 01:21:06,559
Speaker 2: And I think that at the very least that's something

1745
01:21:06,600 --> 01:21:08,680
Speaker 2: we can all look to as well. Is we all

1746
01:21:08,760 --> 01:21:10,000
Speaker 2: have things we have to do every day that we

1747
01:21:10,040 --> 01:21:11,640
Speaker 2: don't want to do, and if you can try and

1748
01:21:11,640 --> 01:21:13,760
Speaker 2: make them more fun, more enjoyable, whatever it is for

1749
01:21:13,840 --> 01:21:16,040
Speaker 2: you that works. But I want you to know, Yeah,

1750
01:21:16,080 --> 01:21:18,639
Speaker 2: I see all these good comments. It always makes day

1751
01:21:18,680 --> 01:21:22,120
Speaker 2: when I find you on my for you page, and

1752
01:21:22,160 --> 01:21:26,120
Speaker 2: it's just fun. It's and it's fun to watch interesting, curious,

1753
01:21:26,160 --> 01:21:29,320
Speaker 2: talented people who you know. To me, you're a comedian

1754
01:21:29,520 --> 01:21:32,280
Speaker 2: in disgusy. I love that, Yeah, you're a comedian in disguise.

1755
01:21:32,360 --> 01:21:35,080
Speaker 2: To me, like, it's like, that's what comedians do, is

1756
01:21:35,080 --> 01:21:39,240
Speaker 2: they create great characters that people can laugh to and

1757
01:21:39,720 --> 01:21:43,120
Speaker 2: connect with and resonate with and pok at And that's

1758
01:21:43,160 --> 01:21:44,599
Speaker 2: what you've done. And then when I met you in person,

1759
01:21:44,640 --> 01:21:46,720
Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, Like you're like one

1760
01:21:46,720 --> 01:21:49,240
Speaker 2: of the sweetest, nicest people I've met in person, and

1761
01:21:49,240 --> 01:21:51,760
Speaker 2: then you're like this complete badass and like you know

1762
01:21:52,200 --> 01:21:55,360
Speaker 2: on on social media. And I love that that juxtaposition

1763
01:21:55,479 --> 01:21:58,360
Speaker 2: of just you know, you, being who you are and

1764
01:21:58,360 --> 01:21:59,559
Speaker 2: then then playing this role.

1765
01:21:59,680 --> 01:22:03,040
Speaker 1: I feel like my content is it's like to me,

1766
01:22:03,120 --> 01:22:07,040
Speaker 1: I view it as myself but enhanced. Yes, like the

1767
01:22:07,080 --> 01:22:10,479
Speaker 1: funny version of myself in some videos, the more like

1768
01:22:10,600 --> 01:22:14,519
Speaker 1: polished version of myself in some videos, the more I

1769
01:22:14,560 --> 01:22:17,800
Speaker 1: don't know, creative version. It's like me, but depending on

1770
01:22:17,840 --> 01:22:19,760
Speaker 1: the outfit I put on and what I cook, I

1771
01:22:19,840 --> 01:22:23,559
Speaker 1: become an enhanced version of myself. And that's so fun

1772
01:22:23,560 --> 01:22:25,839
Speaker 1: to me, which is also why I love fashion and cooking,

1773
01:22:26,240 --> 01:22:29,559
Speaker 1: because you can dress up and feel a completely different

1774
01:22:29,560 --> 01:22:31,760
Speaker 1: way like you feel at least I feel different ways

1775
01:22:31,800 --> 01:22:33,800
Speaker 1: depending on what I have on and that's kind of

1776
01:22:34,479 --> 01:22:37,120
Speaker 1: the energy that I tap into, and that's kind of

1777
01:22:37,120 --> 01:22:40,920
Speaker 1: the part of my reality person that gets enhanced for

1778
01:22:40,960 --> 01:22:41,479
Speaker 1: that video.

1779
01:22:41,680 --> 01:22:44,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I love that. I love that that's how

1780
01:22:44,120 --> 01:22:46,640
Speaker 2: you think about it because and by the way that

1781
01:22:46,800 --> 01:22:49,240
Speaker 2: that becomes really real in normal life too. I remember

1782
01:22:49,320 --> 01:22:51,800
Speaker 2: when I was saying earlier, like when I would go

1783
01:22:51,840 --> 01:22:54,519
Speaker 2: and see Rady in the library or work. I remember

1784
01:22:54,520 --> 01:22:56,840
Speaker 2: I used to get dressed as if I was doing

1785
01:22:56,880 --> 01:23:00,519
Speaker 2: something important. Yes, and that helped me. And that was

1786
01:23:00,560 --> 01:23:02,320
Speaker 2: at a time when I made no content, I didn't

1787
01:23:02,360 --> 01:23:04,519
Speaker 2: have any videos. I was doing it for myself. None

1788
01:23:04,560 --> 01:23:07,439
Speaker 2: even cared who I was. But dressing as if I

1789
01:23:07,520 --> 01:23:11,639
Speaker 2: was important helped me feel like I could apply for jobs,

1790
01:23:11,680 --> 01:23:13,400
Speaker 2: that I could show up as my best, that if

1791
01:23:13,439 --> 01:23:15,680
Speaker 2: I bumped into someone that Because I was in a

1792
01:23:15,680 --> 01:23:18,120
Speaker 2: really tough place, I was rejected from forty companies after

1793
01:23:18,200 --> 01:23:20,600
Speaker 2: leaving the monastery. None would give me a job. I

1794
01:23:20,640 --> 01:23:23,400
Speaker 2: was living in my parents laft. I was getting rejected left,

1795
01:23:23,479 --> 01:23:24,880
Speaker 2: right and center. I didn't even know if I'd ever

1796
01:23:25,160 --> 01:23:25,679
Speaker 2: get a job.

1797
01:23:25,680 --> 01:23:26,439
Speaker 1: That hard for you.

1798
01:23:26,600 --> 01:23:29,639
Speaker 2: It was super hard because I'd become a monk because

1799
01:23:29,640 --> 01:23:31,760
Speaker 2: I loved it. I'd left because I didn't think it

1800
01:23:31,800 --> 01:23:34,160
Speaker 2: was right for me anymore. And now the jobs that

1801
01:23:34,200 --> 01:23:37,439
Speaker 2: I would have landed with ease three years before because

1802
01:23:37,439 --> 01:23:40,160
Speaker 2: I had a first class degree, I couldn't get them.

1803
01:23:40,640 --> 01:23:43,960
Speaker 2: And that was really hard for me because I just,

1804
01:23:44,080 --> 01:23:46,040
Speaker 2: you know, I never imagined that I would not be

1805
01:23:46,080 --> 01:23:47,840
Speaker 2: able to get a job and pay my bills and

1806
01:23:48,000 --> 01:23:50,320
Speaker 2: living with my parents again, I felt bad because I was,

1807
01:23:50,960 --> 01:23:52,720
Speaker 2: you know, living off of them, and they don't have

1808
01:23:52,800 --> 01:23:55,600
Speaker 2: lots to off for me, so it wasn't easy. But

1809
01:23:56,200 --> 01:24:00,280
Speaker 2: I remember dressing up for me felt like I can

1810
01:24:00,320 --> 01:24:02,880
Speaker 2: do something important today, And for some people, they don't

1811
01:24:02,880 --> 01:24:04,599
Speaker 2: want to do that. You'd rather be in your sweats whatever.

1812
01:24:04,640 --> 01:24:07,479
Speaker 2: That's awesome. But all of these little things really work

1813
01:24:07,520 --> 01:24:11,160
Speaker 2: with our mind, like psychologically, and I think we underplay

1814
01:24:11,240 --> 01:24:15,240
Speaker 2: how much sight and scent and sound can change how

1815
01:24:15,280 --> 01:24:15,799
Speaker 2: you feel.

1816
01:24:15,920 --> 01:24:19,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't own sweatpants actually, like Lucky does. Sometimes

1817
01:24:19,200 --> 01:24:22,040
Speaker 1: I'll like you own zero. I own zero sweatpants. I

1818
01:24:22,160 --> 01:24:24,960
Speaker 1: used to own them, but then I got rid of them.

1819
01:24:25,000 --> 01:24:27,559
Speaker 1: All you're my inspirations, so to me, I don't wear

1820
01:24:27,600 --> 01:24:30,919
Speaker 1: sweatpants apart from maybe when I steal one of Lucky's.

1821
01:24:31,040 --> 01:24:34,400
Speaker 1: But that's like very rare. I just I think a

1822
01:24:34,479 --> 01:24:37,040
Speaker 1: lot of how I perform during the day is how

1823
01:24:37,080 --> 01:24:39,719
Speaker 1: I dress. So if I want to get stuff done,

1824
01:24:40,240 --> 01:24:42,640
Speaker 1: I will dress a certain way. There's like never a

1825
01:24:42,680 --> 01:24:44,839
Speaker 1: day where I wake up and don't do my skincare.

1826
01:24:44,960 --> 01:24:46,760
Speaker 1: There's never a day I don't wake up and do

1827
01:24:46,880 --> 01:24:49,559
Speaker 1: my hair at least if I actually want to feel

1828
01:24:49,600 --> 01:24:53,360
Speaker 1: like my peak level of production, I do my makeup.

1829
01:24:53,720 --> 01:24:56,320
Speaker 1: Not because I feel like I need to to feel prettier,

1830
01:24:56,320 --> 01:24:58,880
Speaker 1: but more so it makes me feel productive. I put

1831
01:24:58,920 --> 01:25:01,880
Speaker 1: on what I want to wear to feel a certain way.

1832
01:25:01,920 --> 01:25:04,759
Speaker 1: If I'm like, oh, I'm going on a little lunch

1833
01:25:04,800 --> 01:25:06,599
Speaker 1: with my friend and I want to feel like super

1834
01:25:06,600 --> 01:25:09,439
Speaker 1: girly and whatever, I will wear a cute dress. But

1835
01:25:09,479 --> 01:25:12,000
Speaker 1: if I'm like, Okay, I actually need to just power

1836
01:25:12,040 --> 01:25:14,559
Speaker 1: through meetings all day long, I will wear a suit

1837
01:25:14,760 --> 01:25:18,720
Speaker 1: because that makes me feel like I'm just going to

1838
01:25:18,760 --> 01:25:21,880
Speaker 1: get stuff done. So to me, it's all about dressing

1839
01:25:22,080 --> 01:25:25,800
Speaker 1: and doing things to make myself feel a certain way. Yeah,

1840
01:25:25,840 --> 01:25:28,720
Speaker 1: so I'll never fly in sweats. I don't do that.

1841
01:25:29,880 --> 01:25:32,360
Speaker 1: There's like things I do to make myself feel a

1842
01:25:32,400 --> 01:25:34,320
Speaker 1: certain way, and I know it doesn't work for everyone.

1843
01:25:34,720 --> 01:25:36,800
Speaker 1: But growing up also, my dad had a weird thing

1844
01:25:36,800 --> 01:25:39,519
Speaker 1: with sweatpants. He was like, you're not. There's this thing

1845
01:25:39,560 --> 01:25:43,800
Speaker 1: about I think Carl lagerfeldt said something about sweatpants. I

1846
01:25:43,800 --> 01:25:46,439
Speaker 1: don't remember exactly what it is, but my dad basically

1847
01:25:46,439 --> 01:25:49,200
Speaker 1: said if yeah, you need to find it because he

1848
01:25:49,280 --> 01:25:52,880
Speaker 1: had a quote about sweatpants. What did he say?

1849
01:25:53,040 --> 01:25:56,840
Speaker 2: So he said, Carl lagerfeld said, sweatpants are a sign

1850
01:25:56,840 --> 01:25:59,479
Speaker 2: of defeat. Yes, you lost control of your life, so

1851
01:25:59,520 --> 01:26:00,920
Speaker 2: you bought sweat pat.

1852
01:26:00,920 --> 01:26:03,559
Speaker 1: Yes, that's what my dad would tell me growing up.

1853
01:26:03,600 --> 01:26:07,360
Speaker 1: He said, No, Carl said that, and that's why we're

1854
01:26:07,560 --> 01:26:10,680
Speaker 1: we're not doing sweatpants. That's crazy. If I ever was

1855
01:26:10,720 --> 01:26:13,360
Speaker 1: in my pajamas like after nine am, he thought I

1856
01:26:13,439 --> 01:26:16,800
Speaker 1: was losing it. So when I was sixteen, I bought

1857
01:26:16,840 --> 01:26:20,080
Speaker 1: my first sweatpants and then I really like them whatever

1858
01:26:20,160 --> 01:26:22,519
Speaker 1: because like I feel like in Europe, like they love

1859
01:26:22,560 --> 01:26:26,240
Speaker 1: their little tracks so like the Nikes. But then the

1860
01:26:26,280 --> 01:26:28,479
Speaker 1: older I got, I'm like, actually, my dad's right for

1861
01:26:28,560 --> 01:26:30,600
Speaker 1: me personally, like I feel like I've lost control of

1862
01:26:30,640 --> 01:26:33,599
Speaker 1: my life. If I wear sweatsite, I cannot the like

1863
01:26:34,040 --> 01:26:37,080
Speaker 1: the what I'll do is I get a matching pajama set.

1864
01:26:37,120 --> 01:26:39,400
Speaker 1: If I really feel like I just need to veg out.

1865
01:26:39,479 --> 01:26:42,400
Speaker 1: I'll do a matching pajama set. But that's just what

1866
01:26:42,479 --> 01:26:44,479
Speaker 1: works for me. And I think that's also the thing

1867
01:26:44,520 --> 01:26:46,400
Speaker 1: with like fashion in my videos, Like I want to

1868
01:26:46,439 --> 01:26:48,400
Speaker 1: feel good, I want to feel confident. I want to

1869
01:26:48,720 --> 01:26:52,160
Speaker 1: dress up and feel like these different people. So that's

1870
01:26:52,360 --> 01:26:54,960
Speaker 1: where fashion plays like a massive part and how I

1871
01:26:55,040 --> 01:26:56,000
Speaker 1: go about my day.

1872
01:26:56,280 --> 01:26:59,639
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's fun, it's fun, and it's so interesting how

1873
01:27:00,080 --> 01:27:02,800
Speaker 2: the way we're parented had such a like like Raley

1874
01:27:02,880 --> 01:27:05,559
Speaker 2: has that with waking up early. Ralely was someone that

1875
01:27:05,560 --> 01:27:06,960
Speaker 2: even if she went out to a party at night,

1876
01:27:07,000 --> 01:27:08,439
Speaker 2: her mom would be like, if you're not up in

1877
01:27:08,439 --> 01:27:09,200
Speaker 2: the morning.

1878
01:27:08,960 --> 01:27:10,280
Speaker 1: No, I'm telling you you're late.

1879
01:27:10,400 --> 01:27:14,599
Speaker 2: Yeah, Ralei wakes up so early every day because that's

1880
01:27:14,640 --> 01:27:17,360
Speaker 2: hardwired into who she is, and I think we all

1881
01:27:17,360 --> 01:27:20,240
Speaker 2: have different versions of that. I was so excited after

1882
01:27:20,280 --> 01:27:23,120
Speaker 2: the pandemic to never wear seratupants again because I don't

1883
01:27:23,160 --> 01:27:25,880
Speaker 2: like sweats, But during the pandemic I fell into it

1884
01:27:25,920 --> 01:27:26,360
Speaker 2: and I was.

1885
01:27:26,439 --> 01:27:28,760
Speaker 1: You can find comfy denim, like, you don't have to

1886
01:27:28,800 --> 01:27:31,200
Speaker 1: just skinny denim, Like I feel like the more baggy

1887
01:27:31,200 --> 01:27:33,479
Speaker 1: ones are coming back anyway, so just wear that. Then

1888
01:27:33,760 --> 01:27:34,200
Speaker 1: for sure.

1889
01:27:34,320 --> 01:27:36,280
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think what I'm hearing from you, what I've

1890
01:27:36,360 --> 01:27:38,920
Speaker 2: learned from you, is that you've found a way to

1891
01:27:38,960 --> 01:27:43,840
Speaker 2: do life on your time, in your way, with your permission. Yeah,

1892
01:27:44,120 --> 01:27:47,200
Speaker 2: And I think that's what we're all seeking. Like, I

1893
01:27:47,240 --> 01:27:49,120
Speaker 2: think that's what we're all looking for. What we all

1894
01:27:49,200 --> 01:27:51,559
Speaker 2: really want is to be able to get married when

1895
01:27:51,600 --> 01:27:53,679
Speaker 2: we want to not get married if we don't want,

1896
01:27:53,960 --> 01:27:55,519
Speaker 2: to have kids, when we want to not have kids

1897
01:27:55,520 --> 01:27:58,759
Speaker 2: when we don't want And I think when we feel

1898
01:27:58,800 --> 01:28:02,800
Speaker 2: like we're living thing according to everyone else's expectations and

1899
01:28:02,880 --> 01:28:07,000
Speaker 2: society's rules, that's what takes us away from who we

1900
01:28:07,080 --> 01:28:10,160
Speaker 2: really are. And it seems like you've found a way

1901
01:28:11,120 --> 01:28:13,479
Speaker 2: to do things on your timeline and in the way

1902
01:28:13,479 --> 01:28:16,599
Speaker 2: you want, whether it's sweatpants or not. And there's some

1903
01:28:16,760 --> 01:28:18,519
Speaker 2: and then and there's beauty to that, because I think

1904
01:28:18,560 --> 01:28:19,599
Speaker 2: that's what we're all looking for.

1905
01:28:19,920 --> 01:28:23,479
Speaker 1: I think it's also nowadays, I feel like everyone tries

1906
01:28:23,520 --> 01:28:26,479
Speaker 1: to fit in certain moles, Like everyone wants to buy

1907
01:28:26,560 --> 01:28:29,560
Speaker 1: certain things, look a certain way, get a certain haircut,

1908
01:28:30,360 --> 01:28:33,680
Speaker 1: do certain makeup. And I think that was never really

1909
01:28:33,760 --> 01:28:36,840
Speaker 1: appealing to me. I love doing what I want to do.

1910
01:28:37,080 --> 01:28:39,519
Speaker 1: I want to encourage you to do what you want

1911
01:28:39,560 --> 01:28:42,120
Speaker 1: to do, regardless of what that may look. I just

1912
01:28:42,320 --> 01:28:45,759
Speaker 1: love empowering people to really find their truth and speak

1913
01:28:45,800 --> 01:28:48,720
Speaker 1: their truth and live authentically like themselves, which is so

1914
01:28:48,840 --> 01:28:51,839
Speaker 1: important to me. And I just love sharing my journey

1915
01:28:51,840 --> 01:28:54,320
Speaker 1: and hopefully that inspires someone to do what they want

1916
01:28:54,360 --> 01:28:57,160
Speaker 1: to do. Not replicate what I'm doing, but do what

1917
01:28:57,240 --> 01:28:59,839
Speaker 1: you want to do and feel empowered and making decisions

1918
01:28:59,840 --> 01:29:02,400
Speaker 1: that may not be the norm or may not be

1919
01:29:03,040 --> 01:29:05,800
Speaker 1: what society wants you to do. And I think that's

1920
01:29:05,840 --> 01:29:08,479
Speaker 1: what's so beautiful about life, Like you can do whatever

1921
01:29:08,600 --> 01:29:11,120
Speaker 1: you want to do because you get to live life

1922
01:29:11,160 --> 01:29:14,240
Speaker 1: and experience all these things and do exactly what you

1923
01:29:14,280 --> 01:29:16,679
Speaker 1: want to do. You don't have to do what I'm doing.

1924
01:29:16,760 --> 01:29:18,840
Speaker 1: You don't have to do what every other influencer is

1925
01:29:18,840 --> 01:29:21,160
Speaker 1: telling you to do, or your parents are telling you

1926
01:29:21,200 --> 01:29:24,080
Speaker 1: to do, or whatever. You can be yourself and that's

1927
01:29:24,120 --> 01:29:24,799
Speaker 1: so beautiful.

1928
01:29:25,240 --> 01:29:28,000
Speaker 2: I love that message. Yeah, it's been such a joy

1929
01:29:28,160 --> 01:29:30,639
Speaker 2: talking to you today. I've learned so much. I've learned

1930
01:29:30,640 --> 01:29:33,439
Speaker 2: so much about you. I always have to figure out

1931
01:29:33,479 --> 01:29:36,240
Speaker 2: how you become so eloquent, Like you're a brilliant speaker,

1932
01:29:36,920 --> 01:29:40,320
Speaker 2: and now you are I'm being honest. It's wonderful to

1933
01:29:40,320 --> 01:29:45,639
Speaker 2: see someone young with an old soul who is working

1934
01:29:45,680 --> 01:29:48,920
Speaker 2: on themselves, working on their marriage, trying to give their

1935
01:29:49,000 --> 01:29:52,880
Speaker 2: kids a beautiful, conscious life in whatever way you believe

1936
01:29:52,960 --> 01:29:56,320
Speaker 2: is important. And I'm a fan. I'm going to keep

1937
01:29:56,360 --> 01:29:59,479
Speaker 2: supporting and I love watching you and your family grow together.

1938
01:29:59,640 --> 01:30:02,040
Speaker 2: We we end every episode of On Purpose with a

1939
01:30:02,080 --> 01:30:04,479
Speaker 2: final five. These have to be answered in one word

1940
01:30:04,600 --> 01:30:09,200
Speaker 2: or one sentence. Okay, time snarismith. These are your final five.

1941
01:30:09,520 --> 01:30:12,559
Speaker 2: The first question is what is the best advice you've

1942
01:30:12,560 --> 01:30:13,559
Speaker 2: ever heard or received?

1943
01:30:14,080 --> 01:30:17,160
Speaker 1: Don't try to be perfect, just do it good advice.

1944
01:30:18,040 --> 01:30:20,840
Speaker 2: Second question, what is the worst advice you've ever heard

1945
01:30:20,920 --> 01:30:21,439
Speaker 2: or received?

1946
01:30:22,080 --> 01:30:26,040
Speaker 1: Try to get it perfect, because nothing's ever perfect. And

1947
01:30:26,080 --> 01:30:29,360
Speaker 1: if you wait, okay, I'm going off on a danser again.

1948
01:30:29,479 --> 01:30:31,679
Speaker 1: You get If you wait for it to be perfect,

1949
01:30:31,680 --> 01:30:34,360
Speaker 1: you'll never get started. I would much rather you try

1950
01:30:34,400 --> 01:30:37,639
Speaker 1: your absolute best and put something out or do something

1951
01:30:37,680 --> 01:30:41,559
Speaker 1: and knowing you've tried your best, rather than constantly overthinking it,

1952
01:30:41,600 --> 01:30:43,960
Speaker 1: trying to get it perfect, and never progressing in life

1953
01:30:44,000 --> 01:30:44,559
Speaker 1: because of it.

1954
01:30:45,040 --> 01:30:48,479
Speaker 2: Question number three, what's the least narrowsmith thing you do?

1955
01:30:48,880 --> 01:30:51,840
Speaker 1: I don't steal my hair every day, okay, unless I

1956
01:30:51,880 --> 01:30:55,080
Speaker 1: want to feel productive. So sometimes on days where I'm

1957
01:30:55,120 --> 01:30:57,960
Speaker 1: like today is just like not my day, I'm like, okay,

1958
01:30:58,040 --> 01:30:59,360
Speaker 1: no hair done today.

1959
01:31:00,280 --> 01:31:02,559
Speaker 2: Hey, guys, I look forward to those days when I'm

1960
01:31:02,560 --> 01:31:05,400
Speaker 2: not on camera and I will literally be wearing a hat.

1961
01:31:05,880 --> 01:31:07,840
Speaker 1: No, the hair is like the first thing I don't

1962
01:31:07,880 --> 01:31:09,720
Speaker 1: do when I don't have to do anything. But then,

1963
01:31:09,800 --> 01:31:11,800
Speaker 1: like all the other stuff, I'm like, I actually have

1964
01:31:11,840 --> 01:31:14,040
Speaker 1: to get ready or else I don't feel productive. But

1965
01:31:14,080 --> 01:31:16,120
Speaker 1: the hair sometimes I'm like, you know what, I'll just

1966
01:31:16,120 --> 01:31:18,000
Speaker 1: put it in a little ponytail. It's fine.

1967
01:31:18,080 --> 01:31:22,280
Speaker 2: I love that. Question Number four, What role does faith

1968
01:31:22,439 --> 01:31:25,240
Speaker 2: spirituality that play in your life and how important is

1969
01:31:25,280 --> 01:31:25,639
Speaker 2: it to you?

1970
01:31:25,840 --> 01:31:28,160
Speaker 1: It's so important because it's my center, and I feel

1971
01:31:28,200 --> 01:31:30,960
Speaker 1: like it guides me and it keeps me grounded, and

1972
01:31:30,960 --> 01:31:35,559
Speaker 1: it keeps me humble and compassionate, and it really makes

1973
01:31:35,600 --> 01:31:38,640
Speaker 1: me have a purpose and makes me wake up in

1974
01:31:38,640 --> 01:31:42,759
Speaker 1: the morning knowing I can be the best version of myself,

1975
01:31:42,800 --> 01:31:46,519
Speaker 1: and I'm protected and I'm blessed, and I get to

1976
01:31:46,680 --> 01:31:49,080
Speaker 1: live life so beautifully because I have faith.

1977
01:31:49,600 --> 01:31:51,599
Speaker 2: Fifth and final question. We ask this to every guest

1978
01:31:51,640 --> 01:31:54,080
Speaker 2: who's ever been on the set. If you could create

1979
01:31:54,120 --> 01:31:56,759
Speaker 2: one law that everyone in the world had to follow,

1980
01:31:57,280 --> 01:31:58,799
Speaker 2: what would it be being.

1981
01:31:58,560 --> 01:32:02,640
Speaker 1: More compassionate, not doing things you wouldn't want people to

1982
01:32:02,720 --> 01:32:05,800
Speaker 1: do to you, because I think sometimes we don't think

1983
01:32:05,800 --> 01:32:08,120
Speaker 1: about that and people just go off and do the

1984
01:32:08,160 --> 01:32:11,200
Speaker 1: most insane, bizarre things. And I just want to create

1985
01:32:11,200 --> 01:32:13,519
Speaker 1: a lot. Whatever you do not want done to you

1986
01:32:13,680 --> 01:32:14,840
Speaker 1: don't do to other people.

1987
01:32:15,160 --> 01:32:18,519
Speaker 2: That's great. Yeah, we need that, Yes, we have need that.

1988
01:32:19,000 --> 01:32:22,600
Speaker 2: Nara Smith, thank you so much. Thank you so your openness,

1989
01:32:22,720 --> 01:32:25,599
Speaker 2: your vulnerability, your time and energy. What people don't know

1990
01:32:26,080 --> 01:32:29,519
Speaker 2: is while Nara was driving here today, she actually had

1991
01:32:29,520 --> 01:32:32,920
Speaker 2: a flat tire and run to a car to get

1992
01:32:32,960 --> 01:32:36,120
Speaker 2: here because she's in La at my home at a studio,

1993
01:32:36,760 --> 01:32:39,439
Speaker 2: and she went through that to get here, and she

1994
01:32:39,560 --> 01:32:43,160
Speaker 2: turned out just the sweetest, kindest energy. And I always

1995
01:32:43,160 --> 01:32:45,360
Speaker 2: feel like when someone's going through something, you know, I

1996
01:32:45,400 --> 01:32:46,840
Speaker 2: was thinking about it. I was thinking, oh my god,

1997
01:32:46,840 --> 01:32:49,759
Speaker 2: that'd be so stressful in a new town, you got kids,

1998
01:32:49,800 --> 01:32:52,200
Speaker 2: you know, all this stuff going on. And she showed

1999
01:32:52,240 --> 01:32:54,920
Speaker 2: up just wonderful energy is just super still, and I

2000
01:32:54,920 --> 01:32:55,599
Speaker 2: felt so bad.

2001
01:32:55,640 --> 01:32:57,639
Speaker 1: I'm sorry again for being thirty minutes late.

2002
01:32:57,800 --> 01:33:00,320
Speaker 2: You just you do not need to apologize. But if

2003
01:33:00,320 --> 01:33:02,960
Speaker 2: you're not already following Nara, please follow her across all

2004
01:33:02,960 --> 01:33:05,840
Speaker 2: of the social media platforms. Also let me know on

2005
01:33:05,880 --> 01:33:09,479
Speaker 2: TikTok and Instagram. Clip cut away, show us what resonated

2006
01:33:09,479 --> 01:33:12,320
Speaker 2: with you, what connected with you? What advice is going

2007
01:33:12,360 --> 01:33:14,880
Speaker 2: to help you, Whether it's breaking through into doing something

2008
01:33:14,880 --> 01:33:18,360
Speaker 2: you love, whether it's trusting your timing and not trying

2009
01:33:18,400 --> 01:33:21,120
Speaker 2: to live on everyone else's time, and whether it's finding

2010
01:33:21,120 --> 01:33:23,639
Speaker 2: your passion and pursuing it with all of your heart.

2011
01:33:23,800 --> 01:33:26,400
Speaker 2: I think there were so many great insights and wisdom

2012
01:33:26,439 --> 01:33:28,679
Speaker 2: in this episode. I can't wait to see what resonated

2013
01:33:28,680 --> 01:33:30,720
Speaker 2: with you and Narah, thank you so much again and

2014
01:33:31,439 --> 01:33:32,840
Speaker 2: spending so much more time with you.

2015
01:33:33,520 --> 01:33:34,400
Speaker 1: Thanks, thank you.

2016
01:33:34,640 --> 01:33:37,439
Speaker 2: If you love this episode, you will also love my

2017
01:33:37,600 --> 01:33:42,000
Speaker 2: interview with Kendall Jenna on setting boundaries to increase happiness

2018
01:33:42,280 --> 01:33:44,080
Speaker 2: and healing You're inner child.

2019
01:33:44,200 --> 01:33:46,360
Speaker 1: You could be reading something that someone is saying about

2020
01:33:46,400 --> 01:33:48,400
Speaker 1: you and being like, that is so unfair because that's

2021
01:33:48,400 --> 01:33:51,439
Speaker 1: not who I am, and that really gets to me sometimes.

2022
01:33:51,439 --> 01:33:53,240
Speaker 1: But then looking at myself in the mirror and being like,

2023
01:33:53,280 --> 01:33:55,400
Speaker 1: but I know who I am. Why does anything else

2024
01:33:55,479 --> 01:33:55,759
Speaker 1: matter