1 00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:12,800 Speaker 1: I started to realize that not being an expert isn't 2 00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:13,600 Speaker 1: a liability. 3 00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:14,920 Speaker 2: It's a real guest. 4 00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:18,200 Speaker 1: If we don't know something about ourselves at this point 5 00:00:18,239 --> 00:00:20,920 Speaker 1: in our life, it's probably because it's uncomfortable to know. 6 00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:24,480 Speaker 2: If you can die before you die, then you can 7 00:00:24,520 --> 00:00:29,040 Speaker 2: really live. There's a wisdom at death's door. I thought 8 00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:31,880 Speaker 2: I was insane. Yeah, and I didn't know what to 9 00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:33,040 Speaker 2: do because there was no internet. 10 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:36,760 Speaker 1: I don't know, man, I'm like, I feel like everything 11 00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:42,159 Speaker 1: is hard. Hey, y'all, my name is Kat. I'm a 12 00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:45,680 Speaker 1: human first and a licensed therapist second. And right now 13 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:49,080 Speaker 1: I'm inviting you into conversations that I hope encourage you 14 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:53,960 Speaker 1: to become more curious and less judgmental about yourself, others, 15 00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:54,960 Speaker 1: and the world around you. 16 00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:58,040 Speaker 2: Welcome to You Need Therapy. 17 00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:03,320 Speaker 1: Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of You 18 00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:04,000 Speaker 1: Need Therapy. 19 00:01:04,240 --> 00:01:06,480 Speaker 2: My name is Kat. I'm so glad you're here. 20 00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:10,000 Speaker 1: As always, if you're new, I am a therapist, a 21 00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:13,119 Speaker 1: licensed therapist. I live in Nashville and have a private 22 00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:16,480 Speaker 1: practice and started this little podcast to just, you know, 23 00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:19,800 Speaker 1: start some conversations about some some tough things that we 24 00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:24,400 Speaker 1: don't usually talk about and to encourage people to dig. 25 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:25,280 Speaker 2: Deep into their lives. 26 00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:28,199 Speaker 1: And with that, I always like to remind you guys 27 00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:31,360 Speaker 1: that this here, today, right now, me talking to you 28 00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:35,280 Speaker 1: is not therapy. I'm a big proponent of therapy, champion 29 00:01:35,319 --> 00:01:39,240 Speaker 1: of therapy obviously because I'm a therapist, but this isn't therapy. 30 00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:41,800 Speaker 1: This is just therapist talking to you about some things 31 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:46,000 Speaker 1: that I care about. And with that, today or this month, 32 00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:49,400 Speaker 1: May is a mental health awareness month, and of course 33 00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:52,200 Speaker 1: I found myself thinking to myself, what am I going 34 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:56,120 Speaker 1: to do in order to highlight this? How can I 35 00:01:56,200 --> 00:02:00,000 Speaker 1: do a special episode dedicated to mental health awareness? 36 00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:02,600 Speaker 2: Then that I remembered. 37 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:05,360 Speaker 1: That's literally just what I do all the time, like 38 00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:09,720 Speaker 1: every week, And so I'm so grateful for all of 39 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:13,080 Speaker 1: the people in the world who are putting out some 40 00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:17,720 Speaker 1: mental health specific content to highlight this month and what 41 00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:21,080 Speaker 1: it stands for and bring light to, you know, a 42 00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:24,160 Speaker 1: big part of our world and our lives. But I 43 00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:26,720 Speaker 1: realized that I don't really have to do anything special 44 00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:29,720 Speaker 1: because that's just what we do here. So I'm glad 45 00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:32,200 Speaker 1: to be able to always be doing that. And I 46 00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:34,400 Speaker 1: do have some specific things that I'm excited to talk 47 00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:36,760 Speaker 1: about this month today being one of those things. 48 00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:37,440 Speaker 2: But I don't know. 49 00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:39,799 Speaker 1: I could have done this at any month, which I 50 00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:44,840 Speaker 1: think is pretty cool. Regardless, Happy Mental Health Awareness Month. Today, 51 00:02:44,919 --> 00:02:47,240 Speaker 1: we're going to talk about something that is kind of 52 00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:49,720 Speaker 1: it is it's hard to talk about for multiple reasons. 53 00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:53,440 Speaker 1: One because it's a little intangible and it is scary. 54 00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:57,079 Speaker 1: And what we're going to talk about is passion and purpose. 55 00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:02,560 Speaker 1: Let's get into it. So what a topic? What a 56 00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:06,440 Speaker 1: freaking topic? And just so we're clear from the very beginning, 57 00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:09,640 Speaker 1: this is going to be in no way, shape or 58 00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:13,080 Speaker 1: form a how to guide. That's not my goal today. 59 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:16,760 Speaker 1: I'm not a motivational speaker. I'm just a human who 60 00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:19,840 Speaker 1: likes to talk about hard things. I do love motivational speakers. 61 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:22,400 Speaker 1: More on that in a bit, though, but just wanted 62 00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:25,240 Speaker 1: to be clear that my goal is not to teach 63 00:03:25,240 --> 00:03:27,240 Speaker 1: you how to find your purpose and passion. We're just 64 00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:29,400 Speaker 1: going to start to talk about what that is. So 65 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:34,160 Speaker 1: I really do talk about purpose and finding passion in 66 00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:37,760 Speaker 1: my office with clients a lot, which tells me that 67 00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:41,240 Speaker 1: it is something that tons of people struggle and grapple with. 68 00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:41,760 Speaker 2: Day to day. 69 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:44,160 Speaker 1: It seems like we're all out here just trying to 70 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:46,400 Speaker 1: figure out what our passion is so it will lead 71 00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:49,200 Speaker 1: us to our purpose so we can do the thing 72 00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:51,760 Speaker 1: that we're supposed to be doing and then feel satisfied. 73 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:53,040 Speaker 2: At least that's the story that. 74 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:55,280 Speaker 1: I hear over and over and over and over again, 75 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:57,560 Speaker 1: like that's the path I need to find and nail 76 00:03:57,640 --> 00:03:59,760 Speaker 1: down my passion so that I can lean into my 77 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:02,720 Speaker 1: purpose and then I'll feel fulfilled. And that is the 78 00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:05,560 Speaker 1: way for a lot of people. But I don't agree 79 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:08,840 Speaker 1: with this all the time for everybody, and I'm. 80 00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:09,800 Speaker 2: Going to tell you why. 81 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:13,800 Speaker 1: So there's the whole argument situation when it comes to 82 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:16,920 Speaker 1: passion and purpose. And when I talk about this with clients, 83 00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:19,680 Speaker 1: they're usually talking about in the realm of careers and 84 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:20,880 Speaker 1: jobs and figuring out. 85 00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:22,440 Speaker 2: What I need to do and what I'm going to 86 00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:23,279 Speaker 2: do with my life. 87 00:04:23,839 --> 00:04:26,480 Speaker 1: Side note, sometimes I really hate that our jobs are 88 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,560 Speaker 1: so much what we categorize what we do with our 89 00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:32,120 Speaker 1: lives as. But that's another story for another day. But 90 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:34,279 Speaker 1: your job doesn't have to be what you do with 91 00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:36,240 Speaker 1: your life. Your job can just be a job, and 92 00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:38,359 Speaker 1: we're going to talk more about that as I go. 93 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:43,000 Speaker 1: So I think generationally there is a big gap in 94 00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:47,440 Speaker 1: this realm and I am a millennial. I'm in my thirties. 95 00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:51,359 Speaker 1: So I think where I am in age has to 96 00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:53,240 Speaker 1: do with the bias that I'm about to talk about, 97 00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:55,680 Speaker 1: because hear me when I say this. What I'm about 98 00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:58,760 Speaker 1: to say is not based on research. It's based on 99 00:04:58,839 --> 00:05:02,440 Speaker 1: my own bias. It's not factual, it's just my observation. So, 100 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:05,560 Speaker 1: I mean, we've all heard stories about how things used 101 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:09,080 Speaker 1: to be, and in earlier generations it seems as though 102 00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:13,080 Speaker 1: there is less of an opportunity or expectation that work 103 00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:16,320 Speaker 1: would be a passion driven thing. Right, So work was 104 00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:20,040 Speaker 1: just work, and there was less emphasis on it being 105 00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:23,000 Speaker 1: something we love and that we wake up and are 106 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:25,000 Speaker 1: excited to go out and do every single day. It 107 00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:27,360 Speaker 1: was more of like a means to an end. And 108 00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:30,520 Speaker 1: as a world progressed, the idea that doing what you 109 00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:33,719 Speaker 1: love became bigger and said, we're going to talk about 110 00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:34,679 Speaker 1: motivational speakers. 111 00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:35,160 Speaker 2: Here we are. 112 00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:38,279 Speaker 1: Motivational speakers became a thing, and in that they told 113 00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:41,480 Speaker 1: us to follow our dreams. And then if you do 114 00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:43,440 Speaker 1: what you love, you will never work a day in 115 00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:43,920 Speaker 1: your life. 116 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:44,760 Speaker 2: That's not true. 117 00:05:44,839 --> 00:05:46,960 Speaker 1: If you do what you love, you're going to be 118 00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:50,719 Speaker 1: working doing what you love, But I digress. They also 119 00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:52,599 Speaker 1: told us that we could be anything we want to be. 120 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:55,119 Speaker 1: I hate this, and I also don't think this is true. 121 00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:58,120 Speaker 1: And I'm not trying to be a Debbie Downer, not 122 00:05:58,160 --> 00:06:00,400 Speaker 1: trying to be like, Oh, I'm just a realist. It 123 00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:03,400 Speaker 1: just is not true. I cannot be anything I want 124 00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:05,200 Speaker 1: to be. Let's say I want to be a professional 125 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:06,120 Speaker 1: basketball player. 126 00:06:06,279 --> 00:06:07,560 Speaker 2: I would not succeed in that. 127 00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:11,200 Speaker 1: I could work so hard every single day, years and 128 00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:14,000 Speaker 1: years and years, but I can only control so much 129 00:06:14,279 --> 00:06:19,000 Speaker 1: and my makeup of who I am within my body 130 00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:21,719 Speaker 1: and my athletic ability most likely would not allow me 131 00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:24,719 Speaker 1: to be a professional basketball player. I'm also five to three, 132 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:27,400 Speaker 1: and I know, sure people can play basketball, but you know, 133 00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:31,400 Speaker 1: just thought. But I don't like that because we can't 134 00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:33,839 Speaker 1: be anything we want to be because it's not just 135 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:34,560 Speaker 1: up to us. 136 00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:36,039 Speaker 2: There's too many variables. 137 00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:40,640 Speaker 1: And when that's the message that's sent, it basically says 138 00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:42,400 Speaker 1: you can be anything that you want to be. If 139 00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:44,760 Speaker 1: you are not successful at what you want to do, 140 00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:47,240 Speaker 1: it's your fault, which for some people it can be 141 00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:50,480 Speaker 1: on us, but it's not always the case, Like sometimes 142 00:06:50,480 --> 00:06:53,200 Speaker 1: you just don't have the resources, or sometimes you can 143 00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:55,919 Speaker 1: work as hard as anybody's ever worked and it just 144 00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:59,240 Speaker 1: won't work out for you, and that's not always our fault. 145 00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:01,320 Speaker 1: And so I just really hate that. And these eyes 146 00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:05,640 Speaker 1: ideas are great, like the sayings, do whatever you love 147 00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:06,919 Speaker 1: and you'll never work it day in your life, and 148 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:08,880 Speaker 1: you can be anything you want to be. Like, the 149 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:11,880 Speaker 1: ideas are great, but they just I think screw with 150 00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:15,480 Speaker 1: us more than they help us sometimes, and they put 151 00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:17,760 Speaker 1: a false narrative in our heads, I think, and it 152 00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:20,280 Speaker 1: makes us feel like something's wrong with us when we 153 00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:22,640 Speaker 1: can't live up to the false narrative. And I bring 154 00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:25,200 Speaker 1: this up because the reality is, though I wish it 155 00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:28,360 Speaker 1: would be different, not everyone gets to have their one 156 00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:31,400 Speaker 1: big and true passion to be their job. First of all, 157 00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:34,800 Speaker 1: not everybody has one big and true passion. Not everybody 158 00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:36,880 Speaker 1: gets to love their job, and everybody gets to like 159 00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:37,400 Speaker 1: their job. 160 00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:39,720 Speaker 2: And I really think that that's a privilege. 161 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:43,560 Speaker 1: And again, like I said earlier, in earlier generations, jobs 162 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:45,040 Speaker 1: were more of a means to an end, and for 163 00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:47,440 Speaker 1: some people that's still the truth. The job is more 164 00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:49,280 Speaker 1: of a means to an end, and that I want 165 00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:50,720 Speaker 1: people to know that, Like that's. 166 00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:52,760 Speaker 2: Okay because this idea. 167 00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:56,000 Speaker 1: This goes back to how it's frustrating that, like, sometimes 168 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:58,120 Speaker 1: we make our jobs as the most important thing in 169 00:07:58,120 --> 00:08:00,200 Speaker 1: the world, and like that's what we do with our lives, 170 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:02,240 Speaker 1: but our lives are so much bigger than our work, 171 00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:05,720 Speaker 1: so much bigger. Other than making us feel bad about ourselves, 172 00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:07,840 Speaker 1: what this also does is it creates a sense of 173 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:11,640 Speaker 1: entitlement that I don't really love either. And we can 174 00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:14,520 Speaker 1: sometimes feel like we shouldn't have to work jobs that 175 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:17,120 Speaker 1: aren't fun one hundred percent of the time or do 176 00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:19,920 Speaker 1: things that we don't love, because, like I said, we 177 00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:22,880 Speaker 1: were told a lot of cool ideas that sounded good 178 00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:25,840 Speaker 1: in a TED talk, But those cool ideas that sounded 179 00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:28,480 Speaker 1: good in a Ted talk don't always translate to real life. 180 00:08:28,560 --> 00:08:31,160 Speaker 1: And I think they can be really helpful for some people, 181 00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:37,400 Speaker 1: but they're not applicable to everybody. And sometimes we need 182 00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:40,400 Speaker 1: life experience before we get to have the job we like. 183 00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:43,120 Speaker 1: Sometimes the world is just full of disappointments and we 184 00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:46,240 Speaker 1: can't help it, and sometimes we can't just always have 185 00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:48,600 Speaker 1: and get what we want. And like I said, the 186 00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:51,160 Speaker 1: sense of entitlement but just a lot of confusion. 187 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:51,880 Speaker 2: And you know the. 188 00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:55,160 Speaker 1: Argument either, do you want to live to. 189 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:56,440 Speaker 2: Work or do you want to work to live? 190 00:08:56,920 --> 00:08:59,719 Speaker 1: I see this differently at times, and right now I'm 191 00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:02,520 Speaker 1: looking at this as I see live to work, as 192 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:05,400 Speaker 1: you live to work like you love your job, you 193 00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:07,480 Speaker 1: can't get enough of it, and it's you. 194 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:08,760 Speaker 2: It is your one big passion. 195 00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:12,160 Speaker 1: And the other the work to live, is the means 196 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:15,040 Speaker 1: to the end part, and you work so you can 197 00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:18,000 Speaker 1: live your life. You can eat, you can support your family, 198 00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:21,240 Speaker 1: you can have health insurance maybe so you can go 199 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:24,600 Speaker 1: on certain kinds of vacations, or just basically enjoy your 200 00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:27,840 Speaker 1: life outside of your job. And I think that either 201 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:30,800 Speaker 1: side is okay. Like I think both of those sides 202 00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:33,120 Speaker 1: are okay, But I think a lot of times it's 203 00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:35,560 Speaker 1: positioned that one is better than the other, and I 204 00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:40,400 Speaker 1: think both of them can be wonderful, depending on if 205 00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:43,400 Speaker 1: you are living into that side of the argument or 206 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:46,040 Speaker 1: that side of the street. Because it's what you feel 207 00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:47,839 Speaker 1: like you have to do, it's what you feel like 208 00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:49,640 Speaker 1: you need to do, or if it's what you feel 209 00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:51,559 Speaker 1: like you want to do, or if it's a combination, 210 00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:53,360 Speaker 1: it's the why behind the what right. 211 00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:55,079 Speaker 2: So always going back to that, I. 212 00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:58,720 Speaker 1: Have so many conversations with humans in my office about 213 00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:04,920 Speaker 1: feeling lost and confused, purposeless, passionless, and feeling like they 214 00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:07,800 Speaker 1: have no direction. And I believe that the idea that 215 00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:10,920 Speaker 1: the world presents these days about following your dreams and 216 00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:13,720 Speaker 1: creating the life you want is so amazing. What I 217 00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:15,800 Speaker 1: don't want you to you guys to hear is that, 218 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:18,040 Speaker 1: like I'm this like person who's looking at the world, 219 00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:21,400 Speaker 1: it's like a dark, scary, disappointing place. Like I love 220 00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:25,760 Speaker 1: the motivational speaking, I love being pumped up and getting 221 00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:26,920 Speaker 1: some like pep in my step. 222 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:27,840 Speaker 2: I love that stuff. 223 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:30,679 Speaker 1: The problem just is it doesn't translate to everybody, and 224 00:10:30,720 --> 00:10:33,359 Speaker 1: that leaves a lot of people somewhat dased and confused. 225 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,800 Speaker 1: A lot of times it's spoken in black and white 226 00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:38,960 Speaker 1: terms or all or nothing terms everybody or nobody, and 227 00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:43,640 Speaker 1: no advice or no belief system or no way of 228 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:46,760 Speaker 1: thinking can apply to every single human in the world. 229 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:50,400 Speaker 1: That like, literally can never make sense. But we don't 230 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:53,360 Speaker 1: always realize that when we're listening to stuff. So when 231 00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:55,960 Speaker 1: it comes to these people feeling daced and confused, what 232 00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:58,240 Speaker 1: I mean by that is sometimes people can think something's 233 00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:01,200 Speaker 1: wrong with me because let's say that person knew what 234 00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:03,439 Speaker 1: they were going to do since they were about eight 235 00:11:03,520 --> 00:11:05,400 Speaker 1: years old, and I still can't figure it out. Or 236 00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:07,800 Speaker 1: maybe I want to do forty five things and I 237 00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:09,600 Speaker 1: can't choose what I want to do, and so I 238 00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:12,720 Speaker 1: can't figure out where to make my first step, and 239 00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:15,880 Speaker 1: then I'm in this like analysis paralysis, and you know, 240 00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:18,920 Speaker 1: or the things that I'm passionate about, yeah, I can't 241 00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:20,679 Speaker 1: figure out how to make those into a job that 242 00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:23,120 Speaker 1: supports myself though, or I can support my family with. 243 00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:26,319 Speaker 2: And this is where like hustle culture really turns. 244 00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:29,640 Speaker 1: Me red, which you guys probably already know that about me, 245 00:11:29,720 --> 00:11:33,040 Speaker 1: but oh it gets me going because again, I love 246 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:34,600 Speaker 1: hard work, I really do. 247 00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:36,080 Speaker 2: I myself. I'm a hard worker. 248 00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:39,800 Speaker 1: I believe in making sacrifices. But not everyone has the 249 00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:44,360 Speaker 1: ability to hustle their way to success in the same way. 250 00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:48,000 Speaker 1: Because what even is success? We can't define success as 251 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:50,960 Speaker 1: one thing because success to different people is going to 252 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:53,080 Speaker 1: mean something different. And I think a lot of times 253 00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:55,800 Speaker 1: when it comes to like careers, it's like money, and 254 00:11:56,240 --> 00:11:58,840 Speaker 1: is it money? Like is success money? Because if I 255 00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:01,880 Speaker 1: have to work six jobs to support my passion projects, 256 00:12:01,880 --> 00:12:04,000 Speaker 1: so I can eventually make money off of my passion 257 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:08,319 Speaker 1: project and struggle and suffer and fight and grind and 258 00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:10,400 Speaker 1: all of that. Well, I don't know if I want 259 00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:13,320 Speaker 1: to do that. When I say I'm not speaking of myself, 260 00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:17,199 Speaker 1: I'm speaking for general other people. But does that make 261 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:21,200 Speaker 1: me a bad person or a lazy person? And for 262 00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:23,520 Speaker 1: some people, there isn't a thing that they like doing 263 00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:27,200 Speaker 1: enough to make those kinds of big, huge sacrifices, and 264 00:12:27,679 --> 00:12:30,160 Speaker 1: they are okay punching a clock to get a paycheck. 265 00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:32,600 Speaker 2: But because of this big push. 266 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:35,760 Speaker 1: To follow your passion, it can bring up the opportunity 267 00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:39,360 Speaker 1: for people who otherwise wouldn't care to feel bad about this. 268 00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:42,120 Speaker 1: And what I'm really saying is like, there's nothing to 269 00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:44,760 Speaker 1: feel bad about. It's just you're different than the other 270 00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:47,480 Speaker 1: people that do enjoy that hustle. But it doesn't make 271 00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:49,800 Speaker 1: either person better. What I want you to hear is 272 00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:52,560 Speaker 1: that it's okay if it's not worth. 273 00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:54,240 Speaker 2: It, and it's also okay if it is. 274 00:12:54,559 --> 00:12:58,160 Speaker 1: What I'm saying is that your hustle or anyone else's hustle, 275 00:12:58,240 --> 00:13:02,160 Speaker 1: doesn't make you or them more worthy, and it definitely 276 00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:04,920 Speaker 1: doesn't make you less if it makes you more happy 277 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:06,000 Speaker 1: and satisfied. 278 00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:09,040 Speaker 2: And if that's how you're wired. That's great. Do that. 279 00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:13,040 Speaker 1: If it sucks your soul, don't do it, because it's 280 00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:16,360 Speaker 1: not going to fill up your worthiness tank. Worthiness is 281 00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:18,560 Speaker 1: something that we're born with. And I think this is 282 00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:22,800 Speaker 1: a hard thing to understand, but you just get a 283 00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:27,240 Speaker 1: big old tank of worthiness when you are born. Everybody 284 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:30,040 Speaker 1: gets the same size one. It's really great and there's 285 00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:32,120 Speaker 1: nothing you can do to fill it up more. 286 00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:33,880 Speaker 2: You can't overflow it. You can't. 287 00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:36,520 Speaker 1: You can't have more worthiness than you started with, and 288 00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:40,280 Speaker 1: you can't drain it out. There is no hole in it. 289 00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:44,600 Speaker 1: It's like it's like magic gasoline, right, It's like magic fuel. 290 00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:46,960 Speaker 1: It's like if you never had to fill your car 291 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,160 Speaker 1: with gas. Like that's your worthiness. You don't ever have 292 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:51,400 Speaker 1: to do anything. You just get it and you get 293 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:53,480 Speaker 1: to own it. You get to have it. Everybody does. 294 00:13:53,679 --> 00:13:55,679 Speaker 1: I don't care who you are, where you came from, 295 00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:57,640 Speaker 1: how much money you have, what you look like. 296 00:13:57,679 --> 00:13:59,640 Speaker 2: Any of that stuff. We all have the same. 297 00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:02,800 Speaker 1: And if we really all believe that, our world would 298 00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:05,200 Speaker 1: be so different, and I would love to live in 299 00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:14,280 Speaker 1: that world. The back to the live to work or 300 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:17,000 Speaker 1: work to live idea, whether on one side or the other, 301 00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:20,080 Speaker 1: or maybe you have both, maybe you do both. The 302 00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:22,720 Speaker 1: real reality is that not everybody gets to choose what 303 00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:25,000 Speaker 1: category they lie in. That's the other part which I 304 00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:28,200 Speaker 1: think that I'm like almost contradicting myself, but like, not 305 00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:30,480 Speaker 1: everybody gets to choose. So when I said earlier the 306 00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:32,840 Speaker 1: why behind your what, it's also a privilege to get 307 00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:35,200 Speaker 1: to pick that. And there are a lot of factors 308 00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:37,480 Speaker 1: that influence this kind of thing. And as much as 309 00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:40,520 Speaker 1: I would like to just be a ball of inspiration 310 00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:43,520 Speaker 1: that kicks you into gear and motivates you and helps 311 00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:46,000 Speaker 1: you follow your dreams, I am not a motivational speaker. 312 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:48,400 Speaker 1: And as much as I love that kind of stuff, 313 00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:52,120 Speaker 1: it doesn't take into account the complexities of mental health. 314 00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:52,760 Speaker 1: For sure. 315 00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:54,600 Speaker 2: It's not that easy for everyone. 316 00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:58,040 Speaker 1: And I one hundred percent acknowledge that and want to 317 00:14:58,040 --> 00:14:59,960 Speaker 1: take a second for all of us to acknowledge that. 318 00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:01,880 Speaker 1: And I feel like this is one of the areas 319 00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:05,600 Speaker 1: where I kind of lucked out, And you know, I 320 00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:08,480 Speaker 1: have that feeling of survivor's guilt, even though this isn't 321 00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:10,480 Speaker 1: a survival thing, but it's the same idea. Don't get 322 00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:12,960 Speaker 1: me wrong, there are parts of my life that I 323 00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:16,560 Speaker 1: really don't like and I'm unsatisfied with and angry and 324 00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:19,840 Speaker 1: disappointed with, and I have those, but I do feel 325 00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:23,120 Speaker 1: immensely grateful that my work is a passion of mine 326 00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:26,320 Speaker 1: and I love my job a lot, And I want 327 00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:29,720 Speaker 1: you guys to also know that in that I struggle 328 00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:32,720 Speaker 1: with staying the course. Sometimes I didn't know what I 329 00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:35,200 Speaker 1: wanted to be when I grew up, and I kind 330 00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:39,080 Speaker 1: of fell into therapy by honestly the grace and movement 331 00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:41,560 Speaker 1: of God in my life. And I feel like I've 332 00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:44,480 Speaker 1: been lucky that I have loved it so much. But 333 00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:47,040 Speaker 1: along the way, I've definitely thought about quitting and starting 334 00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:50,040 Speaker 1: something else about sixty seven times, and I've had to 335 00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:54,240 Speaker 1: balance my life with following passions and also listening to 336 00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:58,200 Speaker 1: what the difference between passion and purpose is, and also 337 00:15:58,360 --> 00:16:03,480 Speaker 1: being responsible, and also paying attention to my own mental 338 00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:05,920 Speaker 1: health and what I do when it gets out of 339 00:16:05,920 --> 00:16:08,960 Speaker 1: whack and how I feel when it's in line, and 340 00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:12,280 Speaker 1: what certain ways of leaning in this argument do for me. 341 00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:14,640 Speaker 1: And also I have to balance it with being able 342 00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:17,800 Speaker 1: to enjoy my life and not thinking that I get 343 00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:21,320 Speaker 1: worthiness from my job. So I say that because I'm 344 00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:23,840 Speaker 1: somebody who's coming from a place where I do feel 345 00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:27,160 Speaker 1: like I have privilege in this area, and so it's 346 00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:29,640 Speaker 1: somewhat hard to talk about. I don't really know if 347 00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:31,400 Speaker 1: I have anything else to say about that. I just 348 00:16:31,680 --> 00:16:34,400 Speaker 1: needed to say it for me. I think one of 349 00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:37,200 Speaker 1: the points I'm trying to make here in this conversation, 350 00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:39,280 Speaker 1: though I don't know if I'm doing a good job, 351 00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:42,480 Speaker 1: is that you don't need to dial in and find 352 00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:44,840 Speaker 1: the one thing that makes your heart beat fast in 353 00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:47,840 Speaker 1: order to live a fulfilling life. And you can work 354 00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:50,640 Speaker 1: a job that you don't love and isn't a passion 355 00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:54,640 Speaker 1: of yours and still live a full and fulfilling, purposeful life. 356 00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:58,000 Speaker 1: And our purposes all looks so different. I think sometimes 357 00:16:58,120 --> 00:17:01,000 Speaker 1: mine can look pretty straightforward. I was saying, like, I'm 358 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:03,120 Speaker 1: a therapist, so you could say my purpose is to 359 00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:06,159 Speaker 1: help people, but also everybody's purpose could be to help people, 360 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:09,280 Speaker 1: and there literally can be purpose in helping people in 361 00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:12,960 Speaker 1: everything we do. Therefore, I don't believe you need to 362 00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:16,840 Speaker 1: identify your passion to fulfill your purpose. Your passion and 363 00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:19,840 Speaker 1: your purpose don't necessarily have to be aligned. When they are, 364 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:23,240 Speaker 1: that's amazing and such a bonus in life, but it 365 00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:26,760 Speaker 1: isn't necessary You can have passion about bird watching. You 366 00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:30,119 Speaker 1: can have passion about playing golf or painting or gardening, 367 00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:34,320 Speaker 1: or spending time with your friends or building shelves. I mean, 368 00:17:34,359 --> 00:17:36,520 Speaker 1: I could go on and on and on. This doesn't 369 00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:38,600 Speaker 1: have to be your purpose. They don't have to be 370 00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:39,440 Speaker 1: the same thing. 371 00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:40,760 Speaker 2: They can be, but. 372 00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:43,000 Speaker 1: It's not one or the other. There is purpose in 373 00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:44,919 Speaker 1: so much more than we realize. 374 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,119 Speaker 2: The world when you think. 375 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:50,159 Speaker 1: About it, is so wild. It is so crazy to 376 00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:54,080 Speaker 1: me how things work and move together without us even knowing. Like, 377 00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,240 Speaker 1: not to be too cheesy, but I think there's great 378 00:17:56,280 --> 00:18:00,280 Speaker 1: purpose in basically everybody's jops, right, including the huge means 379 00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:03,040 Speaker 1: who do things like work at the post office or 380 00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:05,719 Speaker 1: a bank who sometimes feel like they just clock in 381 00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:10,000 Speaker 1: and out and their job doesn't have meaning. They're facilitating 382 00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:12,879 Speaker 1: something that goes beyond what they see and what they're doing. 383 00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:15,800 Speaker 1: And purpose isn't just this thing that counts. When we're 384 00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:19,199 Speaker 1: actively saving someone's life through a crazy surgery, or changing 385 00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:22,480 Speaker 1: someone's life through a song they write or a performance, 386 00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:26,080 Speaker 1: it goes beyond what we can see and understand. I 387 00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:29,520 Speaker 1: believe we were all created on purpose, with purpose for 388 00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:32,560 Speaker 1: a purpose, and I honestly think that a lot of 389 00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:35,080 Speaker 1: us will never know what that is in this lifetime, 390 00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:37,320 Speaker 1: and that's where we have to pull in some trust 391 00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:40,440 Speaker 1: and hope and faith, whatever kind of faith you want 392 00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:43,640 Speaker 1: to have. Now. Again, my hope is that the ideas 393 00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:46,440 Speaker 1: that I'm talking about are not defeating, but are motivating 394 00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:49,560 Speaker 1: in a different way, especially for those who struggle deeply 395 00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:52,720 Speaker 1: with identifying passion and nailing one down. If we take 396 00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:55,520 Speaker 1: the pressure off of matching our passion and our purpose 397 00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:58,400 Speaker 1: and work up, maybe we would all feel a little 398 00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:02,119 Speaker 1: lighter and maybe less stressed and less directionless. 399 00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:04,080 Speaker 2: I hate when I hear people. 400 00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:07,160 Speaker 1: Talk about their jobs as if they don't mean anything, 401 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:10,679 Speaker 1: because if one job was gone, somebody would have to 402 00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:13,880 Speaker 1: move or make a change in their life to fill 403 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:16,720 Speaker 1: in that gap. Everybody, And it's just such a cycle. 404 00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:17,840 Speaker 2: I get like. 405 00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:20,359 Speaker 1: Confused in my head when I talk about it, because 406 00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:24,000 Speaker 1: it's so crazy how everything is interwoven but we can't 407 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:26,159 Speaker 1: see it. Oh God, Like, I could sit here and 408 00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:29,280 Speaker 1: ramble about this forever, but anyway, all of this stuff 409 00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:32,359 Speaker 1: brings me back to it probably was the best podcast 410 00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:35,000 Speaker 1: I've ever listened to in my life, and it actually 411 00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:38,720 Speaker 1: was a super soul conversation Oprah super Soul. We all 412 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:41,439 Speaker 1: know that, we know Oprah, we love Oprah. Oprah is 413 00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:44,600 Speaker 1: you know, She's it. But it was probably the best 414 00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:47,600 Speaker 1: super soul conversation. Besides, I don't even know this was 415 00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:49,840 Speaker 1: a super soul conversation or just an Oprah interview, but 416 00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:54,200 Speaker 1: Megan Markle that who that had my attention like no other. However, 417 00:19:55,560 --> 00:20:00,240 Speaker 1: in a different way, this conversation was with a woman 418 00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:03,720 Speaker 1: named Elizabeth Gilbert, and if you are not familiar with her, 419 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:07,440 Speaker 1: she is the author of Eat, Pray, Love, which is 420 00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:10,040 Speaker 1: a book that was then turned into a movie. Julia 421 00:20:10,119 --> 00:20:13,280 Speaker 1: Robert start in it about somebody she got divorced, she 422 00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:16,200 Speaker 1: quit her job, and she went on this trek, this 423 00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:19,560 Speaker 1: journey to find the meaning of life, all of the things. 424 00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:21,680 Speaker 1: I can't speak too much about it because I've tried 425 00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:23,359 Speaker 1: to watch the movie like four times and I never 426 00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:24,160 Speaker 1: get through the whole thing. 427 00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:26,120 Speaker 2: But that's the gist of it anyway. 428 00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:28,439 Speaker 1: So that book was huge, obviously, it turned into this 429 00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:31,120 Speaker 1: huge movie, and she used to travel the world giving 430 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:35,080 Speaker 1: talks about finding and cultivating passion. Like I said earlier, 431 00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:37,080 Speaker 1: these days it feels very much like you have to 432 00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:38,040 Speaker 1: be passionate. 433 00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:38,480 Speaker 2: About your job. 434 00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:42,000 Speaker 1: And also everybody has the opportunity to do that, and 435 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:44,240 Speaker 1: this leads us to the space where we were all 436 00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:46,560 Speaker 1: in this quest to find what we are most passionate 437 00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:48,680 Speaker 1: about so we can go do the thing and then 438 00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:51,720 Speaker 1: finally love the great, wonderful, perfect life that is sold 439 00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:53,679 Speaker 1: to us through this, like I said in the very beginning, 440 00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:56,360 Speaker 1: but again, it doesn't work for everybody, and because of that, 441 00:20:56,480 --> 00:20:59,880 Speaker 1: people question what's wrong with them, and the thought really, 442 00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:03,159 Speaker 1: and I'm wired different, and that's okay. It's I'm wired 443 00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:06,640 Speaker 1: different and that's wrong or I'm wired wrong, or I'm 444 00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:10,000 Speaker 1: doing something wrong. So I want to tell you about 445 00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:14,359 Speaker 1: this talk that Elizabeth gave on this podcast, which I 446 00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:16,600 Speaker 1: tried to pull it because I kind of wanted to 447 00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:18,760 Speaker 1: play audio from it, but I can't find it, and 448 00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:21,040 Speaker 1: I think you have to like pay for a subscription 449 00:21:21,119 --> 00:21:23,080 Speaker 1: of something now to listen to it, else I would 450 00:21:23,119 --> 00:21:24,920 Speaker 1: link it for you guys. So, like I said, she 451 00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:28,159 Speaker 1: used to go around the world giving like career advice 452 00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:31,919 Speaker 1: and motivational talks centered around follow your passion right, and 453 00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:34,440 Speaker 1: if you're familiar with a book, this will be of 454 00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:36,879 Speaker 1: no surprise to you, like obviously she was doing that, 455 00:21:37,119 --> 00:21:39,600 Speaker 1: and one specific talk she gave. I think she was 456 00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:42,840 Speaker 1: in a conference in Australia. I believe, but don't quote 457 00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:45,639 Speaker 1: me on that it was somewhere in the world. But 458 00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:48,320 Speaker 1: after it she went back to her hotel room and 459 00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:50,399 Speaker 1: I believe it was an email she opened up and 460 00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:53,679 Speaker 1: got from a woman who was at the talk that 461 00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:57,080 Speaker 1: she had just given, and she literally said in this email, 462 00:21:57,440 --> 00:22:00,639 Speaker 1: you just made me feel like the biggest loser in 463 00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:04,520 Speaker 1: the world. This woman talked about how awful she felt 464 00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:08,600 Speaker 1: sitting in this talk about following your passion and how 465 00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:11,760 Speaker 1: to follow your passion, because she said, I don't have one. 466 00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:13,639 Speaker 1: I don't have a passion. So if you're telling me 467 00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:15,520 Speaker 1: the secret to life is to follow my passion, that 468 00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:18,399 Speaker 1: makes me feel like again the biggest loser in the world. 469 00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:21,280 Speaker 1: The woman went on to write, it's not for a 470 00:22:21,359 --> 00:22:23,960 Speaker 1: lack of searching. I have not been lazy in my life. 471 00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:27,280 Speaker 1: I have been tearing my stuff apart for years, trying 472 00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:29,840 Speaker 1: to find that thing that you people keep talking about. 473 00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:32,280 Speaker 1: Then she said, also, it's not that I don't have 474 00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:34,560 Speaker 1: a lack of interests, but she just doesn't know what 475 00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:38,200 Speaker 1: to commit to and this has contributed to a great 476 00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:41,240 Speaker 1: deal of stress and anxiety for her. So just imagine 477 00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:43,600 Speaker 1: getting that email after you think you just have given 478 00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:46,280 Speaker 1: this awesome talk about motivating people and making people feel 479 00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:47,560 Speaker 1: good and excited about life. 480 00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:48,600 Speaker 2: And so lets just said. 481 00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:51,040 Speaker 1: She sat with us for a bit and eventually she 482 00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:55,040 Speaker 1: agreed with the woman that her inspirational talk maybe wasn't 483 00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:59,960 Speaker 1: so inspirational, and this catapulted her to reevaluate the in quotes, advice, 484 00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:02,760 Speaker 1: and ways of thinking that had been kind of like 485 00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:05,080 Speaker 1: the pillars that her life had been standing on, which 486 00:23:05,119 --> 00:23:08,400 Speaker 1: I really have to say, the amount of strength that 487 00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:11,479 Speaker 1: this woman has to really take in the feedback that 488 00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:12,480 Speaker 1: she was given. 489 00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:13,520 Speaker 2: Is really so inspiring to me. 490 00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:17,600 Speaker 1: And it brings up a point that honestly I wasn't 491 00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:20,200 Speaker 1: intending to totally talk about today, but here we are. 492 00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:22,119 Speaker 2: It's the idea that we were allowed. 493 00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:25,560 Speaker 1: To change our minds, and that comes with the idea 494 00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:28,119 Speaker 1: that we can also allow other people to change their minds. 495 00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:30,280 Speaker 1: And I guess this kind of ties back to the 496 00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:33,040 Speaker 1: Cancel Culture podcast, which I'm not going to go into. 497 00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:36,000 Speaker 1: You can listen to that one if you haven't already, 498 00:23:36,160 --> 00:23:39,480 Speaker 1: But humans have space to change and not stay the 499 00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:42,480 Speaker 1: same in so many ways, and in one of those 500 00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:44,600 Speaker 1: ways is how we think, in view and do our 501 00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:47,439 Speaker 1: lives and our belief system and which is like a 502 00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:50,800 Speaker 1: very large idea. But I mean, as we grow and 503 00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:53,879 Speaker 1: learn more, we have the ability to not think and 504 00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:57,840 Speaker 1: stay the same. And instead of shaming ourselves or shaming 505 00:23:57,920 --> 00:24:01,320 Speaker 1: other people for past versions of us, what if we 506 00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:03,720 Speaker 1: became grateful for the ability to not have to stay 507 00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:06,880 Speaker 1: the same? I mean that would just be a wild concept, 508 00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:10,160 Speaker 1: wouldn't it. And this is essentially like that. Right here, 509 00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:12,760 Speaker 1: she's really sinking into that stuff and she's allowing herself 510 00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:16,200 Speaker 1: to shift and change. She's not saying, oh no, she's wrong, she. 511 00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:16,600 Speaker 2: Heard it wrong. 512 00:24:16,680 --> 00:24:20,720 Speaker 1: She's really listening to that and processing it and saying, wow, 513 00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:24,800 Speaker 1: maybe I'm missing something. This is a perfect example right here. 514 00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:27,720 Speaker 1: She learned more about the things she believed. She took 515 00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:30,480 Speaker 1: in that information, she formed a new opinion, and I 516 00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:33,359 Speaker 1: want to share what that new opinion is. And it 517 00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:35,479 Speaker 1: kind of turned into a theory. So this is the 518 00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:38,639 Speaker 1: theory she came up with, she said eventually, and this 519 00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:40,960 Speaker 1: is what this talk was about. She said, the world 520 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:43,800 Speaker 1: is divided into two types of people. She said, there 521 00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:48,600 Speaker 1: are hummingbirds and then there are these like jackhammer like people. 522 00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:51,560 Speaker 1: She talked about how she identifies as someone as a 523 00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:53,960 Speaker 1: jackhammer type person. She's somebody who knew she wanted to 524 00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:56,040 Speaker 1: be a writer her whole life. And Elizabeth said, these 525 00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:58,719 Speaker 1: are the people who become consumed by their passion. And 526 00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:01,480 Speaker 1: she said, we don't don't look up, and we don't veer, 527 00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:05,520 Speaker 1: and we're just focused on that until the end of time. 528 00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:08,200 Speaker 1: She said, it's efficient, you get a lot done. However, 529 00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:11,760 Speaker 1: we tend being the jackhammer people to be obsessive and 530 00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:15,399 Speaker 1: fundamentalist and sometimes a little difficult and very loud. And 531 00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:18,240 Speaker 1: then she went on to talk about the hummingbirds and 532 00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:22,440 Speaker 1: she said, then there's the hummingbirds. You know that these beautiful, 533 00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:26,119 Speaker 1: colorful birds that float around from thing to thing, eyes 534 00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:30,360 Speaker 1: wide open, you know, And she said, hummingbirds spend their 535 00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:33,160 Speaker 1: lives doing it very differently. They move from tree to tree, 536 00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:37,199 Speaker 1: from flower to flower to to feel trying this and 537 00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:39,879 Speaker 1: then trying that. And then she said, will hummingbirds may 538 00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:43,920 Speaker 1: feel anxious about not immediately finding their passion, they shouldn't 539 00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:46,480 Speaker 1: feel pressure to change that. And this is why and 540 00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:48,960 Speaker 1: I'm quoting her a little bit in this as I speak, 541 00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:53,399 Speaker 1: she said, they create incredibly rich complex lives for themselves, 542 00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:57,119 Speaker 1: and then they also end up cross pollinating. That is 543 00:25:57,280 --> 00:25:59,119 Speaker 1: the service you do if you're a hummingbird person. 544 00:25:59,359 --> 00:25:59,680 Speaker 2: She said. 545 00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:02,119 Speaker 1: The best thing about those who identify as hummingbirds is 546 00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:06,359 Speaker 1: their diversity of experience. This is another direct quote. She said, 547 00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:10,200 Speaker 1: you bring an idea from here to over there where 548 00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:12,360 Speaker 1: you learn something else, and then you weave it in 549 00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:15,199 Speaker 1: and you take it here to the next thing you do, 550 00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:20,920 Speaker 1: and your perspective ends up keeping the entire culture aerrated and. 551 00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:22,640 Speaker 2: Mixed up and open to the new. 552 00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:25,399 Speaker 1: And if that's how you're constructed by your divine maker, 553 00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:27,960 Speaker 1: then that's how we need you to be. I get 554 00:26:28,119 --> 00:26:31,240 Speaker 1: chills every time I read these quotes from her, And 555 00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:33,879 Speaker 1: I know sometimes we get in these spots where we 556 00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:35,840 Speaker 1: wish we could change the way we were made. Right, 557 00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:37,840 Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, that's great, that's me, But I want 558 00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:40,320 Speaker 1: to be a jackhammer. But I believe, and Elizabeth said 559 00:26:40,359 --> 00:26:43,040 Speaker 1: this in her talk that those who recognize themselves as 560 00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:46,800 Speaker 1: hummingbirds will eventually be much happier with themselves if they 561 00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:50,120 Speaker 1: allow themselves to follow their actual hummingbird path. She said, 562 00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:52,040 Speaker 1: if you do that, if you are willing to just 563 00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:55,800 Speaker 1: release yourself from the pressure and the anxieties surrounded by passion, 564 00:26:56,280 --> 00:26:59,480 Speaker 1: and you just humbly and faithfully continue to follow the 565 00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:02,200 Speaker 1: trail of the hummingbird path, and you just trust it 566 00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:04,359 Speaker 1: that one of these days you might just look up 567 00:27:04,359 --> 00:27:08,320 Speaker 1: and realize, oh, my word, I am exactly where I 568 00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:10,600 Speaker 1: am supposed to be. In other words, if you can 569 00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:13,040 Speaker 1: let go of the idea of passion, and if you 570 00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:17,239 Speaker 1: can follow your curiosity, your curiosity just might lead you 571 00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:20,400 Speaker 1: right to your passion. Again that every time I read it. 572 00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:24,280 Speaker 1: So instead of searching for our passion, if you're somebody 573 00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:28,879 Speaker 1: who feels closely related to this hummingbird idea, which our 574 00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:31,600 Speaker 1: old way of thinking and doing things would say, our 575 00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:33,840 Speaker 1: passion would lead us to our purpose and then find 576 00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:35,600 Speaker 1: the jobs that we're supposed to work, and then pure 577 00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:37,639 Speaker 1: happiness blah blah blah blah. If we let go of 578 00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:40,800 Speaker 1: that idea and instead of searching for passion, you listen 579 00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:44,359 Speaker 1: to the question that Elizabeth postures, which is what would 580 00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:46,879 Speaker 1: show up if you took the word passion off the 581 00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:50,360 Speaker 1: table and just started to follow your curiosity. She then 582 00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:53,040 Speaker 1: goes on to describe that curiosity is more humane and 583 00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:56,359 Speaker 1: more accessible than passion, and passion is something that can 584 00:27:56,400 --> 00:27:59,080 Speaker 1: be demanding ingredient takes everything out of you. It can 585 00:27:59,119 --> 00:28:01,800 Speaker 1: also be dangerous and impulsive. And in contrast to the 586 00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:06,320 Speaker 1: demands and mania associated with passion, curiosity doesn't do that. 587 00:28:06,560 --> 00:28:08,760 Speaker 1: It doesn't strip your life, bear or take anything away 588 00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:12,000 Speaker 1: from you. All curiosity does is give and give and give. 589 00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:15,080 Speaker 1: This is for everybody. If every day you can find 590 00:28:15,119 --> 00:28:17,960 Speaker 1: something that you are a teeny tiny bit interested in, 591 00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:22,159 Speaker 1: even right now, that is leaning in and following your curiosity. 592 00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:25,960 Speaker 1: And I want to encourage you, guys, to stop searching 593 00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:29,320 Speaker 1: for the huge transformation you are telling yourself you have 594 00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:32,680 Speaker 1: to curate or find or have, because when you follow 595 00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:37,360 Speaker 1: curiosity and when you just lean into that, those will 596 00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:40,040 Speaker 1: end up being the little Elizabeth calls them the trail 597 00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:44,040 Speaker 1: of breadcrumbs on the scavenger hunt to your specific life, Yours, 598 00:28:44,120 --> 00:28:45,400 Speaker 1: not anybody else's. 599 00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:46,160 Speaker 2: Your specific life. 600 00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:49,360 Speaker 1: And the only thing that curiosity will ever ask of 601 00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:52,360 Speaker 1: you is that you maybe turn your head a quarter 602 00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:54,920 Speaker 1: of an inch this way or a quarter of an 603 00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:57,520 Speaker 1: inch that way, or take a step forward. That's what 604 00:28:57,560 --> 00:28:58,920 Speaker 1: your curiosity will ask of you. 605 00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:00,680 Speaker 2: To follow little cure clues. 606 00:29:00,920 --> 00:29:03,720 Speaker 1: That's it, And I mean the truth is some bread 607 00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:06,600 Speaker 1: crumbs might not lead you somewhere, and maybe your little 608 00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:09,320 Speaker 1: steps that you take and that you become curious about, 609 00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:11,760 Speaker 1: maybe they don't. They don't lead you to the exact 610 00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:13,720 Speaker 1: thing it's going to lead you to. But some of 611 00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:16,800 Speaker 1: those bread crumbs will lead you somewhere. They will not 612 00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:19,680 Speaker 1: knowing your passion doesn't mean you aren't going anywhere. All 613 00:29:19,720 --> 00:29:21,600 Speaker 1: you have to do to be able to go somewhere 614 00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:25,120 Speaker 1: is stay open to being curious that, my friends, is 615 00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:28,320 Speaker 1: going to lead you to the fulfilling life that we've 616 00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:33,479 Speaker 1: previously thought passion to purpose to job to fulfilling life was. 617 00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:35,680 Speaker 1: I really believe if you follow this, one day you 618 00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:39,120 Speaker 1: will wake up and you'll realize you're exactly where you 619 00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:42,240 Speaker 1: need to be, like she said, and you'll be wearing 620 00:29:42,560 --> 00:29:45,760 Speaker 1: the glasses that you've been looking for this whole time, 621 00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:48,200 Speaker 1: you know. And I mean that by like, sometimes we're 622 00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:51,040 Speaker 1: like searching, searching, searching, searching, and we're going, we're doing 623 00:29:51,040 --> 00:29:52,440 Speaker 1: all this stuff and we're trying to make these big 624 00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:55,560 Speaker 1: uh we're throwing pillows and we're running through the room 625 00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:57,840 Speaker 1: looking for our glasses and then we reach up and 626 00:29:57,880 --> 00:29:59,800 Speaker 1: all they're on our head. You know. 627 00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:01,479 Speaker 2: It's like these tiny little things. 628 00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:02,720 Speaker 1: I just had to reach up. I didn't need to 629 00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:04,840 Speaker 1: throw all the couch cushions. I just need to reach up. 630 00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:07,960 Speaker 1: I just need to follow that one breadcrumb. So what 631 00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:11,880 Speaker 1: I'm asking today is is trust one trust that no 632 00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:14,240 Speaker 1: matter what you're doing, there's purpose in it, and just 633 00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:15,920 Speaker 1: because you don't know what it is doesn't mean it's 634 00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:19,120 Speaker 1: not there. And the world wouldn't move the same without you. 635 00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:20,440 Speaker 1: It wouldn't no. 636 00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:22,320 Speaker 2: Matter what it is that you're doing. The other thing 637 00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:22,880 Speaker 2: I want. 638 00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:26,800 Speaker 1: To encourage you is to just stay curious. And that's 639 00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:29,360 Speaker 1: the key, that really is the key. I mean, as 640 00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:32,280 Speaker 1: somebody who probably leans more on the jackhammer side, I 641 00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:34,920 Speaker 1: want to stay curious, like I want to open up 642 00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:36,400 Speaker 1: my eyes and I want to look up and I 643 00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:38,680 Speaker 1: want to go from here that there. Passion is great, 644 00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:42,800 Speaker 1: Passion feels good, and passion's exciting, But the truth is curiosity. 645 00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:45,760 Speaker 1: I think that's what keeps us really moving and the 646 00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:49,160 Speaker 1: loving and kind and beautiful directions that we really need 647 00:30:49,160 --> 00:30:52,760 Speaker 1: to move in. So with that being said, I encourage 648 00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:53,160 Speaker 1: you to. 649 00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:55,440 Speaker 2: Do a Google search and maybe. 650 00:30:55,240 --> 00:30:58,840 Speaker 1: Listen to Elizabeth's conversation or talk on your own. 651 00:30:59,160 --> 00:30:59,880 Speaker 2: It was so good. 652 00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:02,200 Speaker 1: I'll never forget it, and I encourage you to, you know, 653 00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:04,320 Speaker 1: get out and be curious no matter who you are. 654 00:31:04,600 --> 00:31:06,960 Speaker 1: I am so grateful that you guys spent some time 655 00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:09,760 Speaker 1: listening to me talk about this stuff. I feel not 656 00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:11,000 Speaker 1: I wish I had a different word to use, but 657 00:31:11,040 --> 00:31:13,760 Speaker 1: I feel passionate about talking about passion and purpose and 658 00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:16,320 Speaker 1: all of this and curiosity, and so I'm grateful to 659 00:31:16,360 --> 00:31:18,600 Speaker 1: have a space that you guys have helped me create 660 00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:21,280 Speaker 1: to talk about that. And while we're there, I do 661 00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:23,600 Speaker 1: want to say I've been getting a lot of really 662 00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:27,280 Speaker 1: awesome emails from you guys that have meant a lot 663 00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:29,720 Speaker 1: to me, and I don't think I can say this enough. 664 00:31:29,840 --> 00:31:32,440 Speaker 1: I did not think this podcast would be what it 665 00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:34,360 Speaker 1: is when I started it, and it is just so 666 00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:38,680 Speaker 1: cool to hear that you guys are leaning into some 667 00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:41,520 Speaker 1: of these topics. And every time one of you tells 668 00:31:41,520 --> 00:31:44,360 Speaker 1: me I started therapy because I listened to your podcast, 669 00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:47,240 Speaker 1: I mean, I do like a little dance inside my head, 670 00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:49,719 Speaker 1: like it's so amazing to me. And I say all 671 00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:53,120 Speaker 1: this to say, this podcast wouldn't be what it is 672 00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:55,160 Speaker 1: if it wasn't you guys. And if it wasn't you guys, 673 00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:58,200 Speaker 1: really listening with a listening ear and open heart, and 674 00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:00,520 Speaker 1: then you sharing it because I know you do, so 675 00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:04,080 Speaker 1: keep sharing it. And if there is an episode or 676 00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:08,080 Speaker 1: something I say that touches a part of you, share 677 00:32:08,120 --> 00:32:10,000 Speaker 1: it And I would love for you to tag me 678 00:32:10,040 --> 00:32:12,239 Speaker 1: in it. So you can follow me on Instagram at 679 00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:16,760 Speaker 1: Kat dot defada, in the podcast at You Need Therapy podcast, 680 00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:20,320 Speaker 1: and tag us in the things that mean something to 681 00:32:20,360 --> 00:32:23,480 Speaker 1: you that really does it. Today, Happy Mental Health Awareness Month. 682 00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:26,760 Speaker 1: Let's be aware of our mental health and I love 683 00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:27,200 Speaker 1: you guys,