WEBVTT - The Future We Are Fighting For with Jane Fonda 0:00:00.960 --> 0:00:04.160 Hi, Catherine, Hi Chelsea, how are you Hi? 0:00:04.440 --> 0:00:06.920 Well? I have I'm good, but I have some sad 0:00:06.960 --> 0:00:10.760 news to share. Bernice is. We said goodbye to Bernice yesterday, 0:00:10.840 --> 0:00:13.000 so I want to make sure I make that announcement 0:00:13.000 --> 0:00:15.440 because I didn't make the announcement about Bert, and I 0:00:15.560 --> 0:00:17.720 keep getting DMS about where the fuck is Burt. I'm 0:00:17.720 --> 0:00:21.360 like Bert's dead anyway, Bernice is too now. So that 0:00:21.520 --> 0:00:25.680 was very sad. But she was really old and had 0:00:25.680 --> 0:00:28.159 a really really beautiful life, and everyone loved her so 0:00:28.240 --> 0:00:31.319 much in Whistler this winter that she went out with 0:00:31.360 --> 0:00:34.440 a bang, she got so much attention. Yeah, and everyone. 0:00:34.520 --> 0:00:36.120 I had a waiting list of people who wanted to 0:00:36.120 --> 0:00:37.560 spend the night with her. The little kids in the 0:00:37.600 --> 0:00:40.040 neighborhood kept coming to take her for the night. I 0:00:40.159 --> 0:00:40.960 was so sweet. 0:00:41.320 --> 0:00:43.440 I'm really glad you had like a few months to 0:00:43.520 --> 0:00:46.560 spend with her. You weren't traveling, like you're here and 0:00:46.880 --> 0:00:48.040 you know, could be with her. Yeah. 0:00:48.120 --> 0:00:49.960 It was really nice. And I had that was my 0:00:50.000 --> 0:00:52.040 exit plan with her, to make sure she knew she 0:00:52.159 --> 0:00:52.879 was loved up. 0:00:53.000 --> 0:00:54.080 Yes, and she did. 0:00:54.520 --> 0:00:56.680 And so that was very sad. And I felt really 0:00:56.720 --> 0:00:59.000 bad for Vets, you know, like they have to deal 0:00:59.040 --> 0:01:00.640 with people losing their dog all the time. 0:01:00.800 --> 0:01:03.520 You know what. We actually had an email recently from 0:01:03.520 --> 0:01:06.800 someone who's a veterinarian who really like opened my eyes. Like, 0:01:06.920 --> 0:01:11.320 veterinarians have an extremely high suicide rate and a ton 0:01:11.360 --> 0:01:14.200 of depression because they're trying to do their best that 0:01:14.240 --> 0:01:17.199 they can. They're, you know, helping people transition their dogs 0:01:17.240 --> 0:01:19.240 to the you know, the Rainbow bridge and all that. 0:01:19.440 --> 0:01:22.080 And is that where they're going to the rainbow bridge? 0:01:22.120 --> 0:01:24.880 Is that they say crossing the rainbow an ice cream flavor? 0:01:25.760 --> 0:01:27.480 You know, it's like something to make it feel a 0:01:27.480 --> 0:01:30.720 little bit better. But yeah, so veterinarians, we we. 0:01:30.760 --> 0:01:33.600 Yeah, we appreciate you for sure. And also, Doug is 0:01:33.640 --> 0:01:36.840 here today to be my support animal. Yes, and I 0:01:36.920 --> 0:01:39.160 brought him to the studio. He is so good. 0:01:38.959 --> 0:01:42.639 Looking, it really is. It is so good looking, Chelsea. 0:01:42.760 --> 0:01:45.160 We had a lot of people screaming in their cars 0:01:45.319 --> 0:01:48.560 about Sarah whose boyfriends last week could not get it up. 0:01:48.960 --> 0:01:52.120 I mean, people had some opinions and thoughts and ideas. 0:01:52.200 --> 0:01:54.320 Oh great, well maybe someone knows what the fuck is 0:01:54.360 --> 0:01:55.000 wrong with men. 0:01:55.320 --> 0:01:59.000 Oh so, Sarah, I hope you're listening. This is what 0:01:59.040 --> 0:02:03.240 people had to say. So Andrew wrote in and said, Hey, 0:02:03.280 --> 0:02:05.800 I just thought i'd give a man's perspective, specifically a 0:02:05.840 --> 0:02:09.240 gay man's perspective. I think Sarah should consider the fact 0:02:09.280 --> 0:02:11.919 that her partner may be gay. With all the talk 0:02:11.960 --> 0:02:14.040 of having such a great job and home, the fact 0:02:14.080 --> 0:02:15.760 that he's a bit overweight and seemed not to have 0:02:15.840 --> 0:02:18.320 dated many women. I was literally sitting in my car 0:02:18.480 --> 0:02:20.160 screaming at the radio. He's gay. 0:02:20.280 --> 0:02:20.840 He's gay. 0:02:21.520 --> 0:02:24.600 Speaking partly from personal experience on that point, I just 0:02:24.639 --> 0:02:27.000 think that it's a possibility that should be explored, at 0:02:27.080 --> 0:02:30.919 least lots of love from Florida. Lord help us, Andrew. 0:02:30.639 --> 0:02:34.000 So Andrew. I wonder if Andrew was tried to have 0:02:34.080 --> 0:02:36.520 sex with the girl and then couldn't get it up. 0:02:36.919 --> 0:02:39.560 At that point, if you're not attracted to women, there 0:02:39.600 --> 0:02:40.000 are men. 0:02:40.040 --> 0:02:43.639 There are gay men that have had sex with women, 0:02:43.760 --> 0:02:46.520 or yeah, yeah, how does that work? 0:02:46.560 --> 0:02:49.760 I don't know truly. Like a couple of my closest 0:02:49.840 --> 0:02:53.079 gay male friends who are like in their late forties, 0:02:53.120 --> 0:02:55.079 early fifties, they're like, oh, yeah, sometimes I have sex 0:02:55.080 --> 0:02:57.160 with a woman, just like for for funzies. I'm like, 0:02:57.440 --> 0:03:00.600 what one of my friends put at this way, he said, 0:03:00.720 --> 0:03:03.480 sex with a man is like a lobster dinner, but 0:03:03.560 --> 0:03:05.320 sex with a woman is like a sake dinner. So 0:03:05.480 --> 0:03:08.160 you know what is better lobster lobster. 0:03:08.520 --> 0:03:10.720 Lobster is the McDonald's of the ocean. 0:03:11.320 --> 0:03:12.400 Why does everyone think. 0:03:12.280 --> 0:03:15.359 Lobster is so great? I mean, it's fucking disgusting. It's 0:03:15.440 --> 0:03:18.000 a bottom feeder. I mean I love it, but you 0:03:18.040 --> 0:03:19.919 know what I mean, I don't understand why everyone thinks 0:03:19.960 --> 0:03:22.120 it's a delicacy. Is it a delicacy? Do you know? 0:03:22.280 --> 0:03:24.360 Back in like I think it was like the eighteen hundreds, 0:03:24.400 --> 0:03:27.440 they used to exclude I was what happened. They used 0:03:27.440 --> 0:03:31.640 to exclusively feed convicts lobster, and they actually like brought 0:03:31.680 --> 0:03:34.040 suit against New York State saying like this is cruel 0:03:34.040 --> 0:03:36.280 and unusual punishment, and now we consider it. 0:03:36.720 --> 0:03:39.760 Oh my god, that's a very nice tippit. Yes, keep 0:03:39.800 --> 0:03:42.640 it coming, Capterine. I like that little history, a little 0:03:42.720 --> 0:03:43.400 dose of history. 0:03:43.480 --> 0:03:44.760 Reading a lot of historical fictions. 0:03:44.800 --> 0:03:46.520 Oh, I'm reading a good book right now, speaking of 0:03:46.560 --> 0:03:48.760 which it's called it's by Mitch Album. You know the 0:03:48.760 --> 0:03:51.480 guy who yes Tuesdays with Maury, and he wrote some 0:03:51.520 --> 0:03:53.680 other book that I read. This one is called a 0:03:53.720 --> 0:03:57.320 little the Little Liar, and it's about the Holocaust, but 0:03:57.400 --> 0:04:01.200 it's from the perspective of truth. The character is Truth, 0:04:01.240 --> 0:04:04.200 the main character. And it's very moving and it's a 0:04:04.240 --> 0:04:07.640 short book. It's like succinct chapters, which I like, and 0:04:07.960 --> 0:04:09.760 his use of language, it's very beautiful. 0:04:09.880 --> 0:04:11.320 Yeah. Yeah, he's very moving. 0:04:11.320 --> 0:04:13.600 I would recommend that to anyone who And it's not 0:04:13.640 --> 0:04:15.680 like a bummer book. I mean, it's about the Holocaust, 0:04:15.680 --> 0:04:17.800 so it's shocking, of course every time you hear what 0:04:17.880 --> 0:04:20.440 happened to people, but it is for some reason, it's 0:04:20.480 --> 0:04:23.360 like there's a fairy tale aspect to it. So it's 0:04:23.400 --> 0:04:25.920 like fictionalized, but it's history, you know, it's not. 0:04:25.839 --> 0:04:26.320 I love that. 0:04:27.080 --> 0:04:27.320 Well. 0:04:27.400 --> 0:04:29.200 We do have a couple other opinions on Sarah. Do 0:04:29.240 --> 0:04:29.800 you want to know? 0:04:29.880 --> 0:04:30.040 Yeah? 0:04:30.120 --> 0:04:32.640 Yeah, oh yeah, yeah about that not getting it up? Yeah, okay, 0:04:32.640 --> 0:04:34.720 so okay. Option one, he could be gay. 0:04:34.560 --> 0:04:37.280 He could be gay. Option two, as Lisa writes in 0:04:37.360 --> 0:04:39.599 I'm a pharmacist, And when I heard her say he's 0:04:39.600 --> 0:04:42.479 on medication for his blood pressure, I was yelling out loud. 0:04:42.600 --> 0:04:43.440 It's his medication. 0:04:43.839 --> 0:04:47.200 Oh that sounds very very possible. 0:04:47.279 --> 0:04:51.159 Yes, many blood pressure medications can commonly cause ed, most 0:04:51.200 --> 0:04:55.279 specifically beta blockers and diuretics, but all anti hypertensive drug 0:04:55.279 --> 0:04:58.159 classes can have the side effect. He needs to go 0:04:58.200 --> 0:05:00.960 to his doctor, even if he's opposed, are embarrassed, and 0:05:01.000 --> 0:05:03.240 tell his provider what's going on. They can mix it up, 0:05:03.279 --> 0:05:03.760 try other. 0:05:03.800 --> 0:05:07.479 H that's smart. Did you contact the girl that called in? 0:05:07.720 --> 0:05:07.960 Yes? 0:05:08.080 --> 0:05:09.479 I told her that, okay, good? 0:05:10.520 --> 0:05:11.720 She said, I see it all the time. 0:05:11.960 --> 0:05:13.560 And did you tell her about him being gay too? 0:05:14.520 --> 0:05:18.080 For sure? She said, I see it all the time. 0:05:18.320 --> 0:05:20.600 Men who stopped taking their medications because it made them 0:05:20.600 --> 0:05:23.120 feel quote unquote weird when what they mean is they 0:05:23.120 --> 0:05:25.880 can't get it up anymore. Very common. Go to the doctor, 0:05:26.040 --> 0:05:30.680 Lisa Great. And then our last comment is I'm a 0:05:30.720 --> 0:05:33.440 formerly big guy myself, and I can say that gravity 0:05:33.520 --> 0:05:36.000 is the issue. If he's still overweight, the weight of 0:05:36.040 --> 0:05:40.480 the belly and or panis aka the popas panis panis 0:05:40.600 --> 0:05:43.919 is caught up. What is that? That is the area 0:05:44.160 --> 0:05:47.400 down here if you have like an overhanging belly, that 0:05:47.680 --> 0:05:52.040 pussy gut the pupa yeah, the fat upper pussy area. Yes, 0:05:52.200 --> 0:05:55.560 it is technically called a panis. I have sisters that 0:05:55.600 --> 0:05:58.240 are Have you ever heard the term cock awning. No, 0:05:58.360 --> 0:06:02.400 but I use the word talk todaynles, what is cockling? 0:06:02.640 --> 0:06:06.400 Cockles are your heart, don't? I don't know that I do. 0:06:06.560 --> 0:06:09.440 I heard the term cockawning and I had to look away. 0:06:09.560 --> 0:06:11.960 I shuddered. I was like, I don't want to know 0:06:12.360 --> 0:06:15.680 what that is in reference to what to a man's belly. 0:06:17.080 --> 0:06:23.280 Oh god, no, thank you. Ken says this is less 0:06:23.320 --> 0:06:25.640 an issue when he's laying on his back and he 0:06:25.680 --> 0:06:26.920 thinks that that's what's going on. 0:06:27.240 --> 0:06:29.360 I had this issue a second. Yeah, so he needs 0:06:29.360 --> 0:06:30.479 a girl to get on top of him. 0:06:30.600 --> 0:06:32.480 Yeah, because she mentioned she's like, it's fine when I'm 0:06:32.520 --> 0:06:34.840 on top, but when he tries to be on top 0:06:35.400 --> 0:06:36.280 he can't keep it up. 0:06:38.839 --> 0:06:40.479 Oh god, that sounds familiar. 0:06:40.760 --> 0:06:43.719 Yeah, so Ken says, it's less an issue when laying 0:06:43.720 --> 0:06:45.840 on your back. I had this issue. And it's likely 0:06:45.960 --> 0:06:48.240 if he's a big boy as well, that's his issue too. 0:06:48.760 --> 0:06:51.120 He also might be in his head about feeling too 0:06:51.200 --> 0:06:53.120 heavy to be on top of her, so that might 0:06:53.120 --> 0:06:53.719 plan into. 0:06:53.560 --> 0:06:54.000 It as well. 0:06:54.320 --> 0:06:54.599 Ken. 0:06:54.960 --> 0:06:57.920 I love this. Okay, thank you everybody for writing in. 0:06:58.120 --> 0:07:01.679 We love all bodies here, especially those with pantisas. Let's 0:07:01.720 --> 0:07:02.560 just never call it. 0:07:02.520 --> 0:07:08.880 A cock on. So I'm going to go with the medication. 0:07:09.040 --> 0:07:11.800 I choose Option B, and I'm going to go with 0:07:11.840 --> 0:07:15.400 the medication is the problem? Okay, So which is fixable? 0:07:15.680 --> 0:07:17.600 It's too bad, straight man, don't listen to this podcast 0:07:17.600 --> 0:07:20.000 because if they did. Oh, you know what I really 0:07:20.000 --> 0:07:22.679 want to get on are couples or friends or family 0:07:22.680 --> 0:07:24.840 members that are having discord. Like if you have a 0:07:24.840 --> 0:07:27.160 friend you're having problems with and you want to get 0:07:27.160 --> 0:07:30.560 my advice, or someone in your family and you and 0:07:30.720 --> 0:07:32.440 both of you are open to it, or you're in 0:07:32.440 --> 0:07:36.120 a relationship like I like that, and that's an area 0:07:36.320 --> 0:07:38.360 where I can I can have really help. 0:07:38.520 --> 0:07:40.680 Yeah. And it can be like serious disagreements or like 0:07:40.880 --> 0:07:43.800 fun disagreements, like if you're like, please settle. 0:07:43.480 --> 0:07:46.560 The score for chewing gum when we're together, Yeah, because 0:07:46.600 --> 0:07:48.080 you don't know how to chew it. And I've been 0:07:48.080 --> 0:07:50.600 told that and I don't know how to chew them. 0:07:50.640 --> 0:07:53.600 I would like to say, I am guilty. 0:07:54.840 --> 0:07:58.880 Well, Chelsea, we have amazing guests today. Yeah, she's a legend. 0:07:59.400 --> 0:08:02.520 She continues to lead the charge on the climate emergency 0:08:02.560 --> 0:08:06.680 with fire Drill Fridays, the National movement to protest government 0:08:06.760 --> 0:08:10.320 in action on climate Change started in October twenty nineteen 0:08:10.320 --> 0:08:14.000 in partnership with Greenpeace as well as the Jane Fonda 0:08:14.040 --> 0:08:17.240 Climate pac which is focused on defeating political allies of 0:08:17.280 --> 0:08:21.240 the fossil fuel industry. She is an actor and activist 0:08:21.600 --> 0:08:26.600 and my dear friend Jane Fonda. Okay, so I want 0:08:26.640 --> 0:08:29.600 to preface this interview by telling a personal story about Jane. 0:08:29.880 --> 0:08:33.480 I've known Jane for many years, probably fifteen years, I think. 0:08:33.760 --> 0:08:36.319 But I'm not really good with numbers, that's not my specialty. 0:08:37.080 --> 0:08:38.800 And we've had a lot of fun together and we've 0:08:38.800 --> 0:08:40.880 had a lot of deep, meaningful conversations and a lot 0:08:40.920 --> 0:08:45.000 of laughter. And there was a time and I wrote 0:08:45.040 --> 0:08:46.679 that about this in my new book, which I'm going 0:08:46.679 --> 0:08:48.440 to send to you for your approval, Jane, which I 0:08:48.440 --> 0:08:51.560 think you'll be fine with. But Jane took me aside 0:08:51.920 --> 0:08:54.360 at a time in my life where I was not 0:08:54.640 --> 0:08:57.960 in a good spot, and she took the time to 0:08:58.040 --> 0:09:00.160 invite me over to her house. Well, it was it's 0:09:00.160 --> 0:09:02.840 more of a demand. It was more of. 0:09:02.920 --> 0:09:03.720 Like over here. 0:09:04.880 --> 0:09:07.040 She's like, hey, are you free, I need to talk 0:09:07.080 --> 0:09:09.280 to you. I'm like sure. When she's like how about 0:09:09.280 --> 0:09:11.680 tonight at six, I was like, oh, fuck. Am I 0:09:11.720 --> 0:09:13.520 in trouble with Jane Fonda because it felt like I 0:09:13.559 --> 0:09:15.880 may be and I was in trouble. And I had 0:09:15.920 --> 0:09:20.480 behaved badly at her birthday party at her house months prior, 0:09:21.280 --> 0:09:23.640 and she took the time to sit down with me 0:09:23.760 --> 0:09:26.679 at her dinner table to tell me about my behavior 0:09:27.320 --> 0:09:29.440 and talk to me about it and ask me why 0:09:29.640 --> 0:09:32.920 and what and all of the things. And fortunately for me, 0:09:33.000 --> 0:09:35.600 I had just started therapy two months before that. But 0:09:35.760 --> 0:09:38.960 the thing that I took away from that dinner was sisterhood, 0:09:39.600 --> 0:09:43.280 because not everybody tells you when you piss them off, 0:09:43.400 --> 0:09:45.360 and not everybody takes the time to tell you when 0:09:45.400 --> 0:09:47.240 someone pisses you off. You know, some people you just 0:09:47.240 --> 0:09:49.079 blow off and you're just like, fine, fuck it, that's 0:09:49.120 --> 0:09:50.400 a loser, or I don't want to talk to that 0:09:50.440 --> 0:09:52.920 person again. But Jane took the time to sit with 0:09:52.960 --> 0:09:55.120 me and tell me how I had messed up. And 0:09:55.360 --> 0:09:58.160 because of that moment, I have done that for so 0:09:58.240 --> 0:10:01.360 many people in my life, and I went to therapy. 0:10:01.720 --> 0:10:03.960 I continued to go to therapy. I brought it back 0:10:04.000 --> 0:10:06.880 to therapy to a person that Jane knew very well. 0:10:06.920 --> 0:10:08.680 She's like, you're in good hands. Go talk to him, 0:10:09.120 --> 0:10:11.520 and it was it was the definition of sister. 0:10:11.600 --> 0:10:14.600 I love you, Jack, I do. I didn't even know 0:10:14.640 --> 0:10:17.680 who you were. All I knew was one day, years 0:10:17.800 --> 0:10:21.480 and years ago, I was scrolling through TV channels and 0:10:21.520 --> 0:10:25.200 I just I passed, and then I went back, Who 0:10:25.320 --> 0:10:30.439 is this beautiful blonde chick that laughs at herself so much? 0:10:30.480 --> 0:10:31.480 That was when you were. 0:10:31.280 --> 0:10:31.960 Doing the job. 0:10:32.080 --> 0:10:34.480 I don't know, but you were. You just laughed at 0:10:34.480 --> 0:10:37.880 yourself all the time, and I was smitten. And I 0:10:37.960 --> 0:10:40.440 just kept watching your show. And then I was on 0:10:40.480 --> 0:10:43.720 your show and I just I love you. And and 0:10:44.480 --> 0:10:46.480 you know, we've all gone off the track from time 0:10:46.520 --> 0:10:49.200 to time and people have brought me up short and 0:10:49.240 --> 0:10:52.120 talked to me. And I must say, the book that 0:10:52.160 --> 0:10:54.080 you wrote, I guess this isn't the one you're going 0:10:54.160 --> 0:10:56.240 to give me again. The last one you wrote, where 0:10:56.240 --> 0:11:00.360 you wrote it was like you recorded all your therapy sessions. 0:11:00.600 --> 0:11:02.960 But it was the most laugh out loud book that 0:11:03.040 --> 0:11:05.640 I have ever read. I just enjoyed it and loved 0:11:05.640 --> 0:11:09.280 it and loved that you were going through the therapy 0:11:09.320 --> 0:11:11.200 the way you were, and I have a feeling that 0:11:11.280 --> 0:11:12.880 it really helped you. 0:11:14.160 --> 0:11:16.480 Thank you, and thank you for your help because that 0:11:16.559 --> 0:11:18.959 was helpful. And I think what I want to ask 0:11:19.080 --> 0:11:21.200 you is, you know, I've when I started out in 0:11:21.240 --> 0:11:27.400 this business, I felt that women weren't as there for 0:11:27.480 --> 0:11:30.440 each other as we are now, as we know to 0:11:30.480 --> 0:11:33.000 be now. And I want to know what that was 0:11:33.120 --> 0:11:35.680 like for you when you started, the support that you 0:11:35.800 --> 0:11:37.440 felt from women. How was it? 0:11:37.760 --> 0:11:38.520 Who was ever? 0:11:38.600 --> 0:11:38.720 It? 0:11:39.040 --> 0:11:42.880 Absolutely vividly and I can tell you that. See, I 0:11:42.960 --> 0:11:47.200 was married to a Frenchman, a French director. He directed Barbarella. 0:11:47.480 --> 0:11:49.800 He was married to Bridge of Bardeaux before me and 0:11:49.880 --> 0:11:53.280 Catherine Deneuve. I mean, it was intense. He was great, 0:11:53.640 --> 0:11:57.959 and I was living with him. And because American soldiers 0:11:58.000 --> 0:12:01.439 who had been in Vietnam had fled Vietnam and were 0:12:01.480 --> 0:12:04.600 in Paris, and they were looking for compatriots to help 0:12:04.640 --> 0:12:08.280 them find doctors and clothes and anyway, I became friends 0:12:08.320 --> 0:12:10.680 with these guys and they told me about Vietnam and 0:12:10.720 --> 0:12:13.800 totally blew my mind and changed my mind about the war. 0:12:14.520 --> 0:12:18.160 And I came back here and joined the GI movement. 0:12:19.040 --> 0:12:23.040 Annie war activists had created these coffeehouses outside of military 0:12:23.080 --> 0:12:25.319 bases where guys could come and learn about the history 0:12:25.320 --> 0:12:29.480 of Vietnam. Long story short, I'm in Colleen, Texas, outside 0:12:29.520 --> 0:12:33.600 of Fort Hood. The woman who ran the base, her 0:12:33.679 --> 0:12:37.880 name was Terry Davis. She was different than any female 0:12:37.960 --> 0:12:42.280 that I had met, because up until then, pretty much 0:12:42.920 --> 0:12:46.120 we competed with each other. And I don't know, I 0:12:46.200 --> 0:12:49.640 just I didn't have very many women friends. I grew 0:12:49.760 --> 0:12:53.880 up in the forties and fifties thinking you become the 0:12:53.920 --> 0:12:56.360 way to grow up is to be a lone ranger, 0:12:56.400 --> 0:12:58.960 to be like guys, you know, I can stand on 0:12:59.040 --> 0:13:02.120 my ow. I don't need any buddy, and that's just 0:13:02.160 --> 0:13:06.240 the way. And so I met this woman was running 0:13:06.280 --> 0:13:10.640 the coffeehouse, and she treated me differently than I'd ever 0:13:10.679 --> 0:13:14.240 been treated before, not like a celebrity or anything. It 0:13:14.320 --> 0:13:17.560 was she looked me in the eye. She wanted to 0:13:17.600 --> 0:13:20.800 know how I felt. Did I feel okay going onto 0:13:20.880 --> 0:13:24.199 the base? Did I feel safe speaking at the rally? 0:13:24.720 --> 0:13:28.959 The way she treated the gis it was like looking 0:13:29.040 --> 0:13:33.720 through a keyhole at the future that we were fighting for. 0:13:34.720 --> 0:13:36.640 And being with her was like, I don't know, it's 0:13:36.679 --> 0:13:40.640 like getting into a warm bath. I felt safe, and 0:13:40.679 --> 0:13:44.200 I just thought I want to be like her. And 0:13:44.360 --> 0:13:46.720 all the women in the movement that I kept meeting 0:13:46.760 --> 0:13:50.200 were they were just new kinds of beings that I'd 0:13:50.240 --> 0:13:54.080 never met, and that of all the things that happened 0:13:54.080 --> 0:13:58.200 to me in the first years of my activism, that 0:13:58.400 --> 0:14:01.160 was what affected me the most and made me realize 0:14:01.200 --> 0:14:03.760 I'm on the right track. I want to become a 0:14:03.800 --> 0:14:09.040 person like them, who is present and who really has 0:14:09.120 --> 0:14:13.000 empathy for other women and men. She was the first 0:14:13.040 --> 0:14:17.480 person she brought a feminist into the coffeehouse to talk 0:14:17.520 --> 0:14:20.200 to Gis about the women's movement, which I thought was 0:14:20.240 --> 0:14:24.040 really gutsy and it affected all of us. I don't know, 0:14:24.160 --> 0:14:27.520 but it changed the whole way that I felt about women, 0:14:27.640 --> 0:14:30.480 and up until that point, for me, the women's movement 0:14:30.520 --> 0:14:33.360 was a waste of time. What are all these women 0:14:33.600 --> 0:14:35.560 talking about? All these things for the wars? 0:14:35.640 --> 0:14:36.200 What matters? 0:14:36.240 --> 0:14:38.640 We got to end this way and it had a 0:14:38.680 --> 0:14:42.200 big effect on me. And now, of course it's women 0:14:42.800 --> 0:14:45.880 are in my life. I've closed up shop. 0:14:45.880 --> 0:14:52.800 And have have you closed up shop? 0:14:52.880 --> 0:15:01.240 Is one of the reasons is because to see Chelsea, 0:15:01.400 --> 0:15:06.480 you'll understand this. I like young flesh. I like young skin. 0:15:07.640 --> 0:15:09.720 If I was gonna have an affair now, it would 0:15:09.760 --> 0:15:12.520 be with somebody about twenty years old. But I don't 0:15:12.520 --> 0:15:15.080 want to subject any twenty year old to my skin. 0:15:15.680 --> 0:15:18.000 So I've closed up shop. I don't even think about 0:15:18.040 --> 0:15:18.640 it anymore. 0:15:20.040 --> 0:15:22.200 I feel like, yes, but I think that should be 0:15:22.240 --> 0:15:25.160 their decision. I feel like there would be some willing participants, 0:15:25.560 --> 0:15:27.760 a lot of them, and if they're willing to go 0:15:27.880 --> 0:15:31.040 for it, then what's yeah, I mean, what's to stop 0:15:31.080 --> 0:15:32.560 anyone from giving each other pleasure? 0:15:32.800 --> 0:15:37.040 Vain? Now I'm seventy, I'm eighty how old, amma? I'm 0:15:37.040 --> 0:15:41.560 eighty six and a half almost. I mean, you know, 0:15:41.880 --> 0:15:44.880 it's just, uh, it's over, and I don't miss it 0:15:44.920 --> 0:15:47.200 at all. I only dream once a week about it. 0:15:48.880 --> 0:15:52.320 That's not enough to miss. I have so much more time, 0:15:53.520 --> 0:15:55.600 you know, to do things. 0:15:56.600 --> 0:15:59.000 Well, you are busy doing things. And I think, to 0:15:59.600 --> 0:16:03.760 go back to this woman conversation for a second. I 0:16:03.800 --> 0:16:06.400 think it's so interesting that where you are raised and 0:16:06.440 --> 0:16:09.600 it's still this way and society as women to think, Okay, 0:16:09.760 --> 0:16:11.640 we're supposed to go out and we're supposed to find 0:16:11.680 --> 0:16:14.640 this prince charming and la la la la la, and 0:16:14.720 --> 0:16:20.600 this stupid fairy tale notion that is so it's a charade. Basically, 0:16:20.760 --> 0:16:24.840 you know that doesn't exist. And you've been married three times, right, 0:16:25.000 --> 0:16:28.520 three times, not more than that, And you've had multiple lovers, 0:16:28.520 --> 0:16:31.440 You've had multiple relationships. And one of the things that 0:16:31.480 --> 0:16:36.520 I admire about you is your ability to I feel 0:16:36.520 --> 0:16:40.040 like you always knew there is no prince charming or 0:16:40.120 --> 0:16:43.280 one true love, that their life is about having many 0:16:43.360 --> 0:16:46.640 loves and having many different people in your lives, men 0:16:46.680 --> 0:16:49.960 and women alike. You know, whether it's a sexual relationship 0:16:50.040 --> 0:16:52.400 or not. There are soulmates that come in every form. 0:16:52.840 --> 0:16:55.880 So I guess I mean all of your marriages. I'm 0:16:55.920 --> 0:16:58.200 sure we're very impactful on you. But what do you 0:16:58.280 --> 0:17:02.200 think the most meaningful relationship or one of the most 0:17:02.240 --> 0:17:07.000 meaningful and informative relationships. You've had all of them, and 0:17:07.119 --> 0:17:07.560 I did. 0:17:07.840 --> 0:17:10.879 I believed that this was going to be forever every 0:17:10.920 --> 0:17:15.200 single time. This is it, this is the one. He's 0:17:15.280 --> 0:17:17.640 not at all like my dad, This is going to work, 0:17:17.720 --> 0:17:21.000 this will be great. Turns out they were all similar, 0:17:21.160 --> 0:17:23.639 even though they all looked different and acted different and 0:17:23.680 --> 0:17:28.360 had different socioeconomic places in the world, but they all 0:17:28.400 --> 0:17:31.879 shared one thing in common. They were incapable of showing 0:17:31.960 --> 0:17:36.360 up in an intimate relationship, and so was I, and 0:17:36.640 --> 0:17:40.440 so I chose unconsciously chose men who weren't going to say, 0:17:40.440 --> 0:17:43.520 come on, Vanda, come on, show up. I want you 0:17:43.640 --> 0:17:46.399 here right now. I was too scared, and so it 0:17:46.480 --> 0:17:49.960 was very convenient for all parties. And I really thought 0:17:50.000 --> 0:17:51.480 that they were all going to be the one. 0:17:53.040 --> 0:17:56.000 And now when you think about that, do you think 0:17:56.040 --> 0:17:58.880 that you ever found the one? 0:17:59.160 --> 0:18:02.159 No time I go back through my life trying to 0:18:02.200 --> 0:18:06.679 see did the one show up? Did he enter my 0:18:07.080 --> 0:18:10.200 space and I just got scared and fled? I think 0:18:10.240 --> 0:18:12.440 probably that happened. I don't know who it was though, 0:18:12.480 --> 0:18:16.040 but I wouldn't have been able to do that. I 0:18:16.080 --> 0:18:19.840 think that I could probably now have that kind of relationship, 0:18:19.840 --> 0:18:21.160 but I don't want it anymore. 0:18:22.720 --> 0:18:24.800 Yeah, because now you know what your purpose is. 0:18:25.000 --> 0:18:27.960 Right, It was all about I mean, I guess my 0:18:28.040 --> 0:18:33.120 kids are right, I am a narcissist. They think I am, 0:18:33.200 --> 0:18:35.680 and I guess I am. I'm not a but there's 0:18:35.760 --> 0:18:41.760 you know, it's like I'm on the spectrum of narcissism. 0:18:42.119 --> 0:18:46.040 Their activism outweighs your narcissism. Whether those two feed off 0:18:46.040 --> 0:18:52.639 of each other as a separate story. It was something 0:18:52.640 --> 0:18:54.920 that you said in your book, which I loved, because 0:18:54.920 --> 0:18:57.840 there's so many great things that Jane Fonda's autobiography, but 0:18:58.359 --> 0:19:00.320 one of the things that I always suck out to me. 0:19:00.560 --> 0:19:02.919 You said that your father never brought home joy from 0:19:03.000 --> 0:19:05.960 his career, right, that you never saw him be joyful 0:19:06.000 --> 0:19:09.280 about being an actor and portraying all of these characters. 0:19:09.800 --> 0:19:13.240 Do you get joy from acting? 0:19:13.640 --> 0:19:15.200 Yeah? Yeah, I do? 0:19:15.600 --> 0:19:16.560 And did you always? 0:19:16.840 --> 0:19:21.800 No? No? Before I sort of came full circle and 0:19:21.880 --> 0:19:24.159 became who I was meant to be, I didn't. But 0:19:24.560 --> 0:19:28.200 when I started having agency over my career, yeah I did. 0:19:28.920 --> 0:19:34.120 There is something truly glorious about being invited to enter 0:19:34.160 --> 0:19:37.239 another human being because to do it you have to 0:19:37.280 --> 0:19:41.800 have empathy. So it's a career that builds up your empathy, 0:19:42.800 --> 0:19:46.440 and then kind of digging is like being an archaeologist, 0:19:46.480 --> 0:19:49.439 also finding out about this who is this person and 0:19:49.480 --> 0:19:51.960 why are they there and all of that. It's just 0:19:52.040 --> 0:19:54.960