1
00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:08,440
Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that just came up with dyslexic

2
00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:13,840
Speaker 1: alphabet soup. It's all bees that way, you can't mess

3
00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:16,040
Speaker 1: it up. But this looks like an e oh wait,

4
00:00:16,120 --> 00:00:20,759
Speaker 1: they are all eights. Back to the drawing board with

5
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:24,240
Speaker 1: laser stories, the segment where we read weird news stories

6
00:00:24,239 --> 00:00:26,560
Speaker 1: around the globe, just like everyone else does, except we've

7
00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:29,840
Speaker 1: got a laser. Those other soup scoundrels just don't. This

8
00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:33,120
Speaker 1: versus laser story is out of whales. A thirty six

9
00:00:33,159 --> 00:00:35,440
Speaker 1: year old man broke into a woman's place when she

10
00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:39,760
Speaker 1: wasn't home. He went in every room, looked around, and decided,

11
00:00:40,159 --> 00:00:42,919
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm bored. I'm gonna do everything she

12
00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:47,280
Speaker 1: wrote down on her to do list. Can he break

13
00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:50,080
Speaker 1: into my house next? He began by putting her laundry

14
00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:53,920
Speaker 1: out to dry, then put her groceries away, emptied her recycling,

15
00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:58,280
Speaker 1: tidied up her garden, refilled her bird feeders, organized her fridge,

16
00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:01,680
Speaker 1: mounted the floors, put out a bottle of wine, cooked dinner,

17
00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:04,920
Speaker 1: and left a note that said, don't worry, be happy,

18
00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:09,520
Speaker 1: eat ups. Is he inplying to be a boyfriend for

19
00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:13,560
Speaker 1: someone like? He left After that, and when she got home.

20
00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:17,679
Speaker 1: She freaked out for obvious reasons. Yeah, because someone had

21
00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:20,959
Speaker 1: just done all her chores. Yeah, I freaking out. But seriously,

22
00:01:20,959 --> 00:01:23,000
Speaker 1: if I came home and everything was done, I will

23
00:01:23,319 --> 00:01:26,920
Speaker 1: freak out. Everybody wants that. Well, she thought, whoever did

24
00:01:26,959 --> 00:01:31,520
Speaker 1: it must be a stalker. Well that could be. Yeah,

25
00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:33,839
Speaker 1: it turns out he wasn't, And after he was caught

26
00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:36,520
Speaker 1: in someone else's place, his lawyer told the judge he

27
00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:39,520
Speaker 1: was just homeless at the time and undergoing a number

28
00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:42,800
Speaker 1: of difficulties. Oh buddy, he truly was like, I got

29
00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:44,640
Speaker 1: nothing to do. Yeah, No, I think he's trying to

30
00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:49,760
Speaker 1: earn an invite back. Actually yeah, I mean he sounds

31
00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:53,639
Speaker 1: like a great roommate. So for breaking into her place

32
00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:56,520
Speaker 1: and doing all of her chores and making her dinner,

33
00:01:56,840 --> 00:02:01,040
Speaker 1: the guy gets twenty two months in jail. Come on,

34
00:02:01,640 --> 00:02:05,320
Speaker 1: my homie, probably overcooked the pasta that's why. Oh yeah,

35
00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:08,720
Speaker 1: you know. Yeah. His next laser stories out of Minnesota,

36
00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:12,600
Speaker 1: an eighteen year old named Sam Dutcher was driving his

37
00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:15,320
Speaker 1: vehicle on the highway, a twenty twenty two Honda Pilot,

38
00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:18,800
Speaker 1: when he found out the car would not stop accelerating.

39
00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:24,560
Speaker 1: My car so scary. The vehicle's computer malfunctions, so Sam

40
00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:28,119
Speaker 1: didn't know what to do. The brakes wouldn't work. Oh

41
00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:31,720
Speaker 1: and he kept speeding up. No, so Sam spent around

42
00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:34,920
Speaker 1: twenty minutes in the runaway car, flying through intersections at

43
00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:38,160
Speaker 1: eighty miles an hour, then ninety one hundred, all the

44
00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:41,200
Speaker 1: way up to one hundred and thirteen. Oh my god,

45
00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:43,320
Speaker 1: we don't know what I would do. What would you

46
00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:47,720
Speaker 1: crush you? Mond? I could go that fast. He finally

47
00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:51,079
Speaker 1: called nine one one and explained the situation. The authorities

48
00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:53,680
Speaker 1: tried some troubleshooting over the phone as they tracked him down,

49
00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:57,960
Speaker 1: but nothing works. Oh my god, I'd put spike strips

50
00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:01,960
Speaker 1: out now going out back, sammon be terrible. And they

51
00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:04,520
Speaker 1: tried doing the spiked strips, but they couldn't get there

52
00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:08,760
Speaker 1: fast enough. So finally one brave state trooper named Zach

53
00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,800
Speaker 1: Gruever raced up to him, sped past at one hundred

54
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:14,600
Speaker 1: and thirty miles an hour in his Dodge Charger, got

55
00:03:14,639 --> 00:03:17,280
Speaker 1: in front and called Sam over the phone and told

56
00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:22,160
Speaker 1: him to crash into his own cruiser. That's the best

57
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:25,080
Speaker 1: way to do this. Yeah, I never know the movies

58
00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:29,360
Speaker 1: and it's like jump out of the window. That Yeah,

59
00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:35,840
Speaker 1: that's a terrible let go of the steering way. So

60
00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:39,320
Speaker 1: Sam did what the cops said, and both vehicles skidded

61
00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:48,480
Speaker 1: to a stop miraculously with no injuries. But he has

62
00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:51,600
Speaker 1: his college essay paper totally done. I mean, all you

63
00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:53,640
Speaker 1: got to do is write about that incident. In an

64
00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:57,040
Speaker 1: interview afterwards, Sam said, my mind started to go I'm

65
00:03:57,040 --> 00:03:59,880
Speaker 1: going to die tonight. Yeah, but he kept his cool

66
00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:03,720
Speaker 1: enough to follow the instructions and now he has to

67
00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:06,600
Speaker 1: pay for damages for both the vehicle and the police.

68
00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:10,680
Speaker 1: They still gave him a ticket. Yeah. Actually, you were

69
00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:14,120
Speaker 1: following too closer, reckless and danger man, like you just

70
00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:18,800
Speaker 1: attacked an officer. Totin. This next laser story is out

71
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:23,440
Speaker 1: of fashion headquarters. I think Alexis lives here. If you

72
00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:27,440
Speaker 1: wear jeans for casual Fridays, then you're way over dressed.

73
00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:29,760
Speaker 1: I was just talking to producer Boyd. I think we

74
00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:35,640
Speaker 1: should do a pajama day. I say that because bathrobes

75
00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:38,800
Speaker 1: are the hot new fashion trend for fall. Thank you,

76
00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:41,120
Speaker 1: I bring you back back. You guys made fun of

77
00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:46,600
Speaker 1: me for having it wasn't a robe. Jose even dressed

78
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:49,479
Speaker 1: up like you Halloween and wear a bathrobe and said,

79
00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:52,600
Speaker 1: oh that's the ugliest sweater I've ever seen. It's the

80
00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:57,840
Speaker 1: winstains all over it that are kind of disgusting. Joke.

81
00:04:58,120 --> 00:05:02,640
Speaker 1: Vogue magazine just indorsed the look bathrobe. Inspire dresses keep

82
00:05:02,680 --> 00:05:05,200
Speaker 1: popping up on red carpets. Now, these are like cute,

83
00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:07,640
Speaker 1: They're not like Terry klopps back from this is like

84
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:14,400
Speaker 1: a simon you get ready for a wedding. Yeah yeah, Angelina.

85
00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:16,320
Speaker 1: Joe Lee just stepped out in a coat that looked

86
00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:19,359
Speaker 1: like a bathrobe in New York earlier this week, showing

87
00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:22,400
Speaker 1: you that picture too. I am so ahead of my time.

88
00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:25,479
Speaker 1: A writer for The New York Post called it the

89
00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:29,880
Speaker 1: latest in post pandemic unpretentiousness. After the lockdowns, we all

90
00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:33,400
Speaker 1: just stopped caring and went for comfort. Totally. I think

91
00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:38,320
Speaker 1: that they look great. Yes, this is what the New

92
00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:40,760
Speaker 1: York Post is writing about it. Yeah, I don't trust them,

93
00:05:40,839 --> 00:05:43,479
Speaker 1: So feel free to wear your robe to work, or

94
00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:46,599
Speaker 1: to the grocery store or to a funeral. Says both.

95
00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:49,800
Speaker 1: No one is gonna think that your nuts are inappropriate.

96
00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:52,919
Speaker 1: Call it I fashine this next lazer stories out of

97
00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:56,440
Speaker 1: career world. You want to know why more companies are

98
00:05:56,600 --> 00:06:00,360
Speaker 1: insisting on tracking productivity. A new report found the average

99
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:03,640
Speaker 1: employee waste an incredible amount of time on activities that

100
00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:07,080
Speaker 1: have nothing to do with their actual j I like

101
00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:10,080
Speaker 1: that they're just finding this out. This has been decades

102
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:13,720
Speaker 1: and decades of being in the workforce. Later exactly, it's

103
00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:16,839
Speaker 1: easier now than ever though, thanks to phones. Because the

104
00:06:16,839 --> 00:06:22,160
Speaker 1: biggest time waster is streaming stuff or watching clips on YouTube. Yeah,

105
00:06:21,839 --> 00:06:25,760
Speaker 1: and younger people are the biggest culprits. The average gen

106
00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:29,200
Speaker 1: Z watches just under two hundred and thirty six hours

107
00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:32,040
Speaker 1: of clips a year while they're on the clock, or

108
00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:36,040
Speaker 1: almost ten full workdays. Worse, everybody get time today. All

109
00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:37,520
Speaker 1: my friends have work from home. They finished. They're like,

110
00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:39,120
Speaker 1: I'm not going to do extra. I'm not paid for

111
00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:42,200
Speaker 1: so TV time. Yeah, Brooke, we used to have a

112
00:06:42,279 --> 00:06:44,599
Speaker 1: jock who worked here who would just come in voice

113
00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:47,760
Speaker 1: tracker shift and watch Netflix for four hours. Yeah. Yeah,

114
00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:50,320
Speaker 1: it was impressive. I was impressed. Action. Based on the

115
00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:52,920
Speaker 1: average hourly wage of thirty five dollars an hour, that's

116
00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:56,760
Speaker 1: over eight grand worth of time spent watching TV on

117
00:06:56,960 --> 00:07:00,440
Speaker 1: the company dined. The other big time wasters at work

118
00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:07,040
Speaker 1: include playing games, socializing, browsing the Internet, and just daydreaming. Yeah,

119
00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:08,919
Speaker 1: how do you monetize it or how do you like

120
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:13,000
Speaker 1: monitor daydreaming? I see you over there thinking about your vacation,

121
00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:17,240
Speaker 1: don't you, don't you? I wonder what this guy is

122
00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:22,520
Speaker 1: daydreaming about right now, probably picturing himself on an NBA court,

123
00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:27,280
Speaker 1: dunking on Lebron. Sure is this going to be on

124
00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:30,800
Speaker 1: the shoe? That's the sound of King James getting posterized

125
00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:34,200
Speaker 1: by a turtle. That sound means Laser Stories has come

126
00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:35,680
Speaker 1: to an end for the day. We'll do it again,

127
00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:40,120
Speaker 1: same time on Wednesday. Brooking Jeffrey in the morning,