Speaker 1: Hello again, and welcome to Behind the Bastards. I'm Robert Evans,
Speaker 1: and this is the show where we tell you everything
Speaker 1: you don't know about the very worst people in history.
Speaker 1: Today with me is Brandy Posey. Hello, Hello, thanks for
Speaker 1: having me. How you doing, Brandy, I'm pretty fantastic excited
Speaker 1: to get behind some bastards. Brandy is a comedian, podcaster,
Speaker 1: funny person. Anything else you wanna say about yourself up front?
Speaker 1: Good person? Uh, alleged good person exactly. Yeah. Well, today
Speaker 1: Brandy and I are going to be talking about Joseph Stalin,
Speaker 1: Joey Joe stall Yeah, yeah, Uncle Joe, the big man
Speaker 1: in the Dictator. Maybe the most successful dictator of all time. Um,
Speaker 1: he's in the running. Yeah, no, he probably is. Actually, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: he's in the running. One of the more prolific mustaches
Speaker 1: in the Dictator, very famous mustache, right up there with
Speaker 1: the hitler Um, although some people still rock the Staalin. Okay,
Speaker 1: so everybody in its kind of the cliffs notes of
Speaker 1: Joseph Stalin's career. He uh took over the Soviet Union
Speaker 1: after Lennon died in four He purged a bunch of people.
Speaker 1: He starved several million more from nineteen two to thirty three.
Speaker 1: During his time and power, he's estimated to have killed
Speaker 1: at least six to nine million people, give or take
Speaker 1: a few millions. Six to nine millions. Yeah, yeah, Like
Speaker 1: he's right under Hitler in the in the murdering his
Speaker 1: own people death toll um. He went up against Hitler
Speaker 1: in one in World War Two. He might have heard
Speaker 1: of that. Uh, and then he died and had a
Speaker 1: movie made about that by the dude who created veep Um.
Speaker 1: So that's a stalling everybody knows. That's the Stallin we're
Speaker 1: not going to talk about today. Today is the story
Speaker 1: is about the Stalin that you don't know. This is
Speaker 1: Joseph Stalin after dark. Oh, this is a sultry Stalin. Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: we're gonna start with some of j Stall's youth and
Speaker 1: then we're gonna go into we're gonna talk about everything
Speaker 1: but Stalin at work. So we're gonna talk about Stalin
Speaker 1: at play, Stalin at dinner, Stalin on vacation, like a
Speaker 1: weekend sta. Yeah, weekend Stalin. You know this, Stalin, Stalin's movies. Yeah,
Speaker 1: all the stuff staling like you so, um, we're going
Speaker 1: to kick this off with some backstory. Joseph Stalin was
Speaker 1: born Joseph de Jugasville, which is a Georgian last name,
Speaker 1: which is you know where he was born, uh, and Georgia.
Speaker 1: At this point you might look at it as like
Speaker 1: to the mainstream Czarist Russia, it would be like the
Speaker 1: middle of nowhere Oklahoma. And in fact, it was commented
Speaker 1: on his whole life that he had like a really
Speaker 1: thick accent. Okay, yeah, gotcha, that's interesting. He was like
Speaker 1: a kind of down home cowboy ish, that kind of drawl. Yeah.
Speaker 1: If you were going to represent the politboro by accents,
Speaker 1: most of them would have like East Coast or West coast,
Speaker 1: like slick, you know, cosmopolitan accents. And Joseph Stalin be
Speaker 1: talking like they is like a deep set, like like
Speaker 1: a like a sharp out of bail Oklahoma. Act sing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's like actually from Georgia. Yeah yeah, yeah, no, actually
Speaker 1: that's that. I shouldn't used that Oklahoma. Yeah, that's funny. Wow.
Speaker 1: He was the son of a shoe cobbler in the
Speaker 1: Georgia in town of Gory. His father was a drunk
Speaker 1: and beat the ship out of him. His mother Kiki
Speaker 1: or k k K is how it's usually spelled kept
Speaker 1: the peace, but not all that well because she also
Speaker 1: beat the ship out of her. Um. Yeah, this is
Speaker 1: a really dark version of that Adam Sandler movie about
Speaker 1: being a shoe cobbler. Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's it's actually
Speaker 1: less dark because Sandler movie is devoid of soul. And
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna pretend that Joseph Stalin's parents are Adam
Speaker 1: Sandler and Jack and Jill. In my head, those are
Speaker 1: his parents. Actually, just some deep Sandler cuts pulling out here.
Speaker 1: Although when I start talking about Joseph Stalin, my mind
Speaker 1: immediately goes to Adam Sandler. Sure, sure, shut out. That's
Speaker 1: what he did every time he would sign an order
Speaker 1: for execution forman exactly had a stroke at the end, right,
Speaker 1: And that's actually what it sounded like, a lot of strokes. Yeah,
Speaker 1: But people just assumed that he was okay because he
Speaker 1: was such a Sandler fan, but he was actually just
Speaker 1: having strokes. Since thank you, well, I'm not allegedly good person. Um.
Speaker 1: Stalin's mom justified beating her son by saying she had
Speaker 1: to quote govern her unruly treasure, which is like some
Speaker 1: Norman Bates ship unruly treasures. It almost sends like how
Speaker 1: you talk about trimming your pupid caret Absolutely have to
Speaker 1: govern my unruly treasure, govern my unrulee Like she's always
Speaker 1: looking at a giant bruch or a ring of some
Speaker 1: kind when she's saying it her son off in the distance. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's definitely a sentence that you expect from a bruch wear.
Speaker 1: She wore a cape every day. It's what that sentence
Speaker 1: says to me as an adult. She told him the
Speaker 1: beatings had done him no harm. Stalin insisted he had
Speaker 1: a terrible childhood where he wept constantly, which is probably true,
Speaker 1: probably something Stalin wasn't lying about. Um, it's a lot
Speaker 1: of pressure being an unruly treasure. It's really a lot.
Speaker 1: I just want to be a boy. So Joseph's dad
Speaker 1: was out of the picture pretty quick, but he popped
Speaker 1: in from time to time to insist that his son
Speaker 1: take up the family trade of making shoes. Stalin did
Speaker 1: not want to make shoes. He liked books like Sadam Hussein.
Speaker 1: Um Kk realized that her boy was special and decided
Speaker 1: that he should become a priest. Um because back then,
Speaker 1: if you liked books, that was the default. Yeah. Hey, nerds. Yeah,
Speaker 1: nobody was like, you should go to Hollywood. They were
Speaker 1: like a priest. That's the gig for you. Go read
Speaker 1: the book, the one book we allow. Yeah. Um. So
Speaker 1: as a little kid, Stalin was successful in sort of
Speaker 1: the low level children's gang warfare that was common in
Speaker 1: his village. But when he hit yep, just classic children's
Speaker 1: gang warfare, just good old late eighteen hundreds Russia. Um.
Speaker 1: He had had a lessons though, and he stopped being
Speaker 1: so successful because he was very short and suddenly was
Speaker 1: less imposing. Other kids made fun of him because of
Speaker 1: his small pox scars and his fucked up arm. His
Speaker 1: left arm was two inches shorter than his right because
Speaker 1: he'd been run over by a horse and buggy, which
Speaker 1: is the most eighteen hundreds injury you can have. I
Speaker 1: like that he's just like a like a Harold Lloyd
Speaker 1: movie for the first eighteen years of his life. Basically,
Speaker 1: that's amazing. Yeah, he's he's starting out rough. How do
Speaker 1: you get rid of over by a horse and buggy? Yeah? You,
Speaker 1: And I also would figure that you would specify either
Speaker 1: the horse or the buggy hit you, but maybe he
Speaker 1: got hit by both. Maybe, like all like four legs
Speaker 1: and then four wheels. Yeah, so how does that make
Speaker 1: your arm shorter? Is it just like it just guess
Speaker 1: I just got like broken and it didn't grow right
Speaker 1: something like that. Yeah. So I'm picturing that his parents
Speaker 1: are Adam Sandler and Jack and Jill, and then he
Speaker 1: is Chris Elliott from Scary Movie Too. You should really
Speaker 1: get started on this screenplay perfect Like, it's a very
Speaker 1: deep cut reference for five people that are listening. That's
Speaker 1: who we do this podcast for. Um so. At age nine,
Speaker 1: Stalin or Joseph at this point enrolled in a theological school.
Speaker 1: He was devouted first and never missed a mass. Since
Speaker 1: this was a religious school, most books were forbidden obviously uh,
Speaker 1: and the teachers encouraged kids to write out their peers
Speaker 1: for reading band literature. Stalin later admitted to writing out
Speaker 1: a whole bunch of kids. So of course he loves
Speaker 1: to snitch. Yeah, seeing seeds here, Joseph snitch Stalin okay uh.
Speaker 1: At age thirteen, Joseph read a copy of Darwin's The
Speaker 1: Origin of Species. He stayed up all night and told
Speaker 1: KK his mom, I love the book so much, Mummy,
Speaker 1: that I couldn't stop reading it Joseph decided that God
Speaker 1: didn't exist, because if he did the world would be
Speaker 1: more just. He dropped out of Jesus School at fourteen,
Speaker 1: which horrified his mother. Fourteen, man, that's a man back then. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's true, Like most of you don't make it to fourteen.
Speaker 1: Fourteen year old then has lived through most ship than
Speaker 1: like a sixty year old today. Yeah, exactly, the haggard
Speaker 1: staring off in the middle distance, thinking about all the
Speaker 1: lives you've seen in all the horse and buggies have
Speaker 1: been run over by Yeah. Um so now young and unemployed,
Speaker 1: which is the thing fourteen year olds could be back then. Uh.
Speaker 1: He wandered into a meeting for his local Bolshevik party. Uh,
Speaker 1: so he started being a Bolsheviks seemed to like that.
Speaker 1: He got a job at an observatory in eighteen nine.
Speaker 1: It was part time, so he was able to keep
Speaker 1: up his revolutionary ways. He spent a lot of time
Speaker 1: reading Napoleon's memoirs, and he told his friends that he
Speaker 1: planned to learn from Napoleon's mistakes, which is a normal
Speaker 1: thing for a like sixteen year old to tell his friends.
Speaker 1: I mean, what an intense kid, can you imagine? Just
Speaker 1: like oh, I stayed up all night reading Darwin and
Speaker 1: I love Napoleon God. Okay, Stalin, this is I think
Speaker 1: the most I'm actually of a person that you could
Speaker 1: be at sixteen. If he was alive today, the first
Speaker 1: sentence out of his mouth and any given conversation would
Speaker 1: be that he didn't own a TV. Would be that guy.
Speaker 1: Oh boy. Um, he would have the same mustache though,
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, definitely a lot more flannel. Yeah, so much flannel. Um.
Speaker 1: Stalin or Joseph got a job working at an oil
Speaker 1: refinery storehouse. Working conditions there were exactly what you'd expect
Speaker 1: of bizarist oil refinery. So that's what you're saying, up
Speaker 1: to code, and that code was not a thing. Um.
Speaker 1: So Stalin was pissed that the workers were suffering and
Speaker 1: toiling to make in his meat while the wealthy lived
Speaker 1: in mansions and got to go to parties all the time,
Speaker 1: which is totally understandable. I'm on board at this point.
Speaker 1: I like that he organized protests. The protesters clashed violently
Speaker 1: with police, and suddenly Stalin had to go on the run. Um.
Speaker 1: He was arrested in nineteen o two and sent to Siberia,
Speaker 1: which sounds like the worst thing that could happen to you. Yeah.
Speaker 1: From I'm listening to another thing about rashputiness from Siberia
Speaker 1: and everything they say about the area, I'm like, it
Speaker 1: apparently wasn't that bad, Okay, because it wasn't He wasn't
Speaker 1: sent to you getting to get sent to a prison
Speaker 1: in Siberia. Just just got sent to a little town
Speaker 1: in the middle of nowhere. And they gave you money
Speaker 1: every month. That was what when they when they exiled you,
Speaker 1: That's what they did, is they were just like, go
Speaker 1: live in the middle of nowhere. Here's some money, so
Speaker 1: you don't starve. Can I get excited? Yeah? I kind
Speaker 1: of feel like that's a sweet gig. That sounds pretty
Speaker 1: Can I just piss off the president enough that I
Speaker 1: get to live somewhere else? Send me somewhere else and
Speaker 1: give me I don't care if it's cold, it's getting
Speaker 1: really hot, and though global warming is real, because it'll
Speaker 1: be like a nice seventy by that time I get there, exactly.
Speaker 1: Um So yeah, for the rest of his life, this
Speaker 1: is like one of, if not the very best periods
Speaker 1: of time in Stalin's whole life. He would talk about
Speaker 1: it for the rest of his days. He would constantly
Speaker 1: tell people a story about skiing into the Tiger, shooting
Speaker 1: a dozen partridges, and then almost freezing to death on
Speaker 1: his trip back. Stalin would brag about the time he
Speaker 1: shot twelve birds and nearly died, even after he'd beat
Speaker 1: Nazi Germany and conquered a fifth of the world, which
Speaker 1: is weird. Wow, now he's really that that middle lot
Speaker 1: to him? Yeah, yeah, I really had other things to
Speaker 1: brag about by that point. Yeah, I mean well yeah. Uh.
Speaker 1: Fast forward seven, Joseph was twenty nine and had grown
Speaker 1: an influence among the Bolshevik party. Lenin came to see
Speaker 1: him as the kind of guy who could all caps
Speaker 1: get ship done. At this point, the bolshep X, We're
Speaker 1: still fighting to overthrow the czar and it was not
Speaker 1: going well. They were broke and they needed money for
Speaker 1: more bombs to throw at the Zar's. Uh. Stalin was like,
Speaker 1: I can get you some fucking money. His preferred method
Speaker 1: of achieving this goal was a good old fashioned bank heist.
Speaker 1: Stalin sat down with his boy Camo, which is what
Speaker 1: you'd expect from the name of a guy you robbed
Speaker 1: banks with, to figure out a plan. Uh. Stalin made
Speaker 1: contact with the pro Bolshevik worker at a bank in Tifflis,
Speaker 1: where he lived, who told him that a bunch of
Speaker 1: money was due to arrive on June. So Stalin, Camo
Speaker 1: and their fellow desperadoes all showed up at Yerevan Square
Speaker 1: downtown to wait for the stage coach. It arrived at
Speaker 1: ten thirty am, and they just started throwing grenades and
Speaker 1: bombs all over the place like that was there, that
Speaker 1: was their just throw bombs at everyone. So they made
Speaker 1: off with the money, which was about three or four
Speaker 1: million in modern dollars, and they killed forty or fifty people. Yeah, well, yeah,
Speaker 1: it won't be the last time. No, no, this actually
Speaker 1: counts as charity by the rest of Stalin's record, Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1: So it turned out that most of the stolen bills
Speaker 1: were in like gigantic five thousand ruble notes that had
Speaker 1: never been used before, and those as government had records
Speaker 1: of all of the serial numbers on those bills. So
Speaker 1: most of the money that Stalin had killed like fifty
Speaker 1: people for, wound up being useless. Kom bolsheviks um. But
Speaker 1: he'd still prove that he could, you know, get shipped done.
Speaker 1: It wasn't entirely a wash, but it was a bummer.
Speaker 1: In nineteen o seven was also a bummer because it
Speaker 1: was the year that Stalin's wife died. She passed in
Speaker 1: December from some illness or another. Knowing nineteen o seven,
Speaker 1: it might have been like a stubbed toe that exactly
Speaker 1: went bear shaped, and assuming she was fourteen, and she
Speaker 1: said I've seen enough. Yeah, I've lived too long already,
Speaker 1: even five children. It's time for me to leave. Stalin
Speaker 1: claimed that quote with her died, my last feelings for humanity,
Speaker 1: you can read that is super prophetic. But he wound
Speaker 1: up falling madly in love again and remarrying, So he's
Speaker 1: probably just being dramatic. I think he's just a very
Speaker 1: dramatic person because he was told that he was a
Speaker 1: ungovernable treasure. What was the quote was unruly treasure and
Speaker 1: unruly treasure. Yes, an unruly treasure. And he's just like
Speaker 1: that's the line that he used as a young twenty
Speaker 1: something on women. And he'd be like, look, honey, I'm
Speaker 1: just I'm just an unruly treasure. I could see it working, No,
Speaker 1: especially with that mustache. No, and he's he we should
Speaker 1: pull Okay, you've seen the young. He was a good
Speaker 1: looking guy, Yes he was. He was a little Viti guy,
Speaker 1: but he was a good looking guy. Exactly. No, he
Speaker 1: had the charm, which believe, which is like, here's the thing,
Speaker 1: I don't trust people that have always been attractive, and
Speaker 1: this is the most exactly what percent of the time
Speaker 1: they turned out to be stalid Exactly. I've seen that
Speaker 1: guy at so many overpriced bars. You know, he's got
Speaker 1: like a kefia on and like, yeah, he's just he's
Speaker 1: sitting in the back of the coffee house. Maybe he's
Speaker 1: got a guitar. Just always oh, what's see this, We'll
Speaker 1: see this, just the effects of French accent, even though
Speaker 1: he was born in Milwaukee. Exactly. Yeah, we all know
Speaker 1: Stalin of a person Barret per Okay. So Stalin's career
Speaker 1: kept lurching forward. He charmed Lennon, He wrote a bunch
Speaker 1: of articles for Pravda. In May of nineteen twelve, Joseph
Speaker 1: Jugos Feely became the editor at Pravda, which is, you know,
Speaker 1: big old Bolshevik magazine. The next year he started to
Speaker 1: use a noum revolution instead of Jugos Filly. He called
Speaker 1: himself Stalin. We're steel so Joseph Steele. Yeah, I'm Joe Steele.
Speaker 1: Is there a modern porn star whose name is Joseph Steele?
Speaker 1: Because it feels like somebody is like, if it's not
Speaker 1: untapped market, Yeah, untapped market to be tapped by Joseph
Speaker 1: Steele's tapper. Come on, somebody tap that. Yeah, we're given
Speaker 1: out a name here. While Stalin was so World War
Speaker 1: One came in nineteen fourteen, had a big deal, didn't
Speaker 1: go well for Zars to Russia didn't did not. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know the rest of the story. The Zar gets
Speaker 1: overthrow in the nineteen seventeen there's a big st civil
Speaker 1: war and the Bolsheviks wind up in charge. Lennen rules
Speaker 1: for a while, then he dies, and then through a
Speaker 1: combination of cunning and murder, Stalin's in charge by uh
Speaker 1: he shared power with a group of magnates. He wasn't
Speaker 1: an absolute ruler at this point. The magnates were powerful
Speaker 1: political leaders who ruled over various aspects of the Soviet state.
Speaker 1: These are the guys that the death of Stalin. The
Speaker 1: movie focuses around, guys like Malinkov and and Khrushchev cabinet.
Speaker 1: For lack of a better yeah, yeah, that's a good
Speaker 1: term for them. Um, these guys were mostly young at
Speaker 1: this point in their thirties and mostly self educated. They
Speaker 1: all lived together in the same buildings in Moscow. They
Speaker 1: worked and feasted and partied together. And friends, Yeah, they
Speaker 1: were all. They were mostly friends. They all like had
Speaker 1: had like sometimes a couple of like wives and girlfriends
Speaker 1: in common. Um, they would all hang out all the time.
Speaker 1: You know, Stalin would just drop by to like talk
Speaker 1: to people about things. Stalin is the Phoebe of this group.
Speaker 1: I was going to say, Rachel, Well yeah, probably actually Rachel.
Speaker 1: I just feel like Stalin would run like an idiot.
Speaker 1: And also like, if Stalin had ended up with a
Speaker 1: Paul Rudd, the world would have been a better place. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's that's unquestionable. Sure, exactly, really weird movies, but probably
Speaker 1: Paul Rud would have taken like a turn for the
Speaker 1: art house cinema. But yeah, yeah, exactly, yeah, okay. Um,
Speaker 1: So Stalin got married to his second wife, Nadia Alujeva
Speaker 1: in nineteen nineteen. She bore him a son, Vassili, and
Speaker 1: a daughter's Lana. Stalin seemed to love his wife, but
Speaker 1: they were both busy, career focused people. He wrote her
Speaker 1: sweet love letters, saying he was quote lonely as a
Speaker 1: horned owl without her, and uh, signing them my kisses
Speaker 1: your Joseph. Yeah, he's a sweet guy at this point.
Speaker 1: He's a sweet guy at this point. He's killed a
Speaker 1: lot more people by this Yes, they're starving peasants, by
Speaker 1: by the hundreds of thousands, right, yes, you're correct, well,
Speaker 1: by the thirties. Yeah, um, but he's a sweet guy
Speaker 1: to his friends. Uh exactly. Stalin had also turned into
Speaker 1: a sex symbol at this point, though, by the time
Speaker 1: he's in charge, and that did not help his marriage.
Speaker 1: The Wonderful Book in the Court of the Red Zar
Speaker 1: describes one of the letters he got from a female admirer,
Speaker 1: a teacher. Dear Comrade Stalin, I saw you in my dreams.
Speaker 1: I have hopes of an audience. I enclosed my photograph.
Speaker 1: Damn girl, Stalin replied, comrade unfamiliar. I ask you to
Speaker 1: trust that I have no wish to disappoint you, and
Speaker 1: I'm ready to respect your letter. But I have to
Speaker 1: say I have no appointment, no time to satisfy your wish.
Speaker 1: I wish you all the best. Jay Stalin ps your
Speaker 1: letter and photograph returned. Wow. I mean that's the most
Speaker 1: proper way of it's actually he let somebody down. He's handled, actually,
Speaker 1: Joseph Stalin, and this is handled being hit on by
Speaker 1: a young woman better than most modern American politicians. Absolutely.
Speaker 1: This is also like the first Tinder is what just happened?
Speaker 1: He swiped right? Yeah, exactly, no, thank you, and he
Speaker 1: did swipe left on a number of ladies. It's not
Speaker 1: absolutely confirmed, but there's a lot of circumstantial evidence and
Speaker 1: that and that Ada his wife was very angry about
Speaker 1: some of that, you know, and maybe it wasn't true,
Speaker 1: but she just suspected it. But either way, she thought
Speaker 1: he was fooling around and she was pissed. When you
Speaker 1: got that kind of ego, I assume you probably are
Speaker 1: messing around. One woman isn't going to do it for you. No, no,
Speaker 1: when not when you're the dictator of all Russia. Now,
Speaker 1: when we get back, we're going to talk about the
Speaker 1: dinner party that led to the end of Joseph Stalin's marriage, Yes,
Speaker 1: and then we're going to get into Joseph Stalin's growing madness,
Speaker 1: his wacky everything is is. We're just going to talk
Speaker 1: more Stalin and coming up. We also have a whole
Speaker 1: lot of drinking, a whole lot of partying, a whole
Speaker 1: lot of vomiting, and what I'm just going to describe
Speaker 1: as Joe stall pulling a chainey oh, all right, and more.
Speaker 1: After sweet Lady Capitalism sings you her lilting lullaby welcome back,
Speaker 1: we are talking about Joseph Stalin and his troubled marriage
Speaker 1: to not Yet. At this point, Joseph Stalin is the
Speaker 1: sexy leader of the New Soviet Union. Uh not yet
Speaker 1: and he are very much in love, except she thinks
Speaker 1: he's cheating on her, and things come to a head
Speaker 1: at one banquet in nineteen thirty two. Oh she was
Speaker 1: also angry at him for starving hundreds of thousands of
Speaker 1: peasants to death, which is a fair fair Stalin. You
Speaker 1: you know, we've all been there with a partner where
Speaker 1: like you think they might be cheating on you and
Speaker 1: they're starving the Ukraine. Well, it's like when you make
Speaker 1: that pros and cons list of like trying to really
Speaker 1: break down of this relationship, has you know, has the
Speaker 1: legs to stand forever, and you're like, okay, I mean
Speaker 1: really he bought me flowers but he's starved a lot
Speaker 1: of starved three and a half to four million peasants. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's rough. It's rough. So that's where their relationship is. Uh.
Speaker 1: There at this big party, everybody's drinking heavily, and Stalin
Speaker 1: had not noticed that Nadia had dressed up for the event.
Speaker 1: She wasn't a girly girl and she didn't dress up often,
Speaker 1: so it was a big deal that he didn't notice it.
Speaker 1: Stalin did eventually notice that Nadia wasn't drinking. I'm going
Speaker 1: to quote here from in the Court of the Red Czar.
Speaker 1: Why aren't you drinking? He called over, truculently, aware that
Speaker 1: she and Bukaran shared a disapproval of his starvation of
Speaker 1: the peasantry, She ignored him. To get her attention, Stalin
Speaker 1: tossed an orange peel and flicked cigarettes at her. But
Speaker 1: this outraged her, which of course it did, which she
Speaker 1: became angrier and angrier. He called over, Hey, you have
Speaker 1: a drink. My name isn't hey? She read toward it furiously.
Speaker 1: Rising from the table, she stormed out, it was probably
Speaker 1: now that, but Yanni, which is one of these magnates,
Speaker 1: heard her shout at Stalin shut up. Shut up. Stalin
Speaker 1: shook his head in the ensuing silence. What a fool,
Speaker 1: he muttered. Wow. Yeah, so she shot herself later that night.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Yeah, nobody really knows why. Yeah, it's a bummer.
Speaker 1: It's a really sad story. Man, that's a girl I
Speaker 1: would like wanted to hear her, like getting her groove
Speaker 1: back movie. It's like the movie that's that's the one
Speaker 1: we deserve. No, we do not get that movie. Um,
Speaker 1: we we don't get anything like that movie. Nobody knows
Speaker 1: why she did it. There's a bunch of theories, but
Speaker 1: it broke stolid. There's no evidence of it. Yeah. Um.
Speaker 1: He threatened to kill himself a bunch of times. When
Speaker 1: Nadia's mother showed up, like while the body was still
Speaker 1: in the house, one of the doctors offered her some
Speaker 1: Valerian drops, which you're supposed to like calm you down
Speaker 1: and like help you not freak out when the worst
Speaker 1: thing ever is happening. She said she couldn't drink them,
Speaker 1: and so Stalin grabbed the bottle and chugged them all
Speaker 1: down himself. Um. He insisted his wife's suicide had crippled him,
Speaker 1: and he did change after that. Prior to her suicide.
Speaker 1: The Soviet Union, like I said, had been starving a
Speaker 1: lot of people. But life in Moscow among the magnates
Speaker 1: and their families had been wonderful in many ways. Nadya
Speaker 1: suicide started the terror that followed. Where he's just killing
Speaker 1: all these people who were close to him because he
Speaker 1: kills most of her family. Oh yeah, yeah, over over
Speaker 1: a course of years. But he butchers most of her family.
Speaker 1: He butchers most of his first wife's family. I mean,
Speaker 1: not really how the you should keep the memories? Not
Speaker 1: really know. Most grief counselors recommend against massacring the families
Speaker 1: of your dead spouse. I mean, no mother in law's
Speaker 1: can be at pain in the ass, But I wish
Speaker 1: I could do that. Yeah, um so uh. Stalin's friend
Speaker 1: Nikita Krushchev, who took over after him, said that Stalin
Speaker 1: was a different man at different times. I knew no
Speaker 1: less than five or six Stalin's. At one point, Joseph
Speaker 1: Stalin got angry at his son Vassily for using the
Speaker 1: name Stalin. He said, but I'm a Stalin too, and
Speaker 1: Stalin said, no, you're not. You're not Stalin, and I'm
Speaker 1: not Stalin. Stalin is Soviet power. Stalin is what he
Speaker 1: is in the newspapers and the portraits, not you know,
Speaker 1: not even me. Wow. Yeah, he's like very self aware
Speaker 1: of the thing that he's created. He would have been
Speaker 1: great at marketing. He would have been terrifying at market yea.
Speaker 1: He would have been Don Draper times a thousand. Yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: just as a trap, like just as attractive. Yeah, a
Speaker 1: very similar character. Actually who I like, had a wife,
Speaker 1: cheated on her, a whole bunch, drank a bunch, like,
Speaker 1: doesn't go by his real name. All right. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: actually kind of weird how close those guys backstories are. Um.
Speaker 1: Stalin was also described as very charming. He could be
Speaker 1: graceful and sensitive. People love to be around him. He
Speaker 1: was good with kids, and he could really read a room. Uh.
Speaker 1: There's one story about a court singer who was performing
Speaker 1: in the Kremlin. Stalin's colleagues each started demanding he's singing
Speaker 1: different songs, and Stalin said, but I'm saying what he wants,
Speaker 1: and then added, I think he wants to sing Lindsay's
Speaker 1: Aria from on again. Everybody laughed. Although it's not really
Speaker 1: a request. Stalin I was going to do Red Red
Speaker 1: wine first said okay um. Stalin seemed to have a
Speaker 1: genuine joy for manipulating people. In nineteen thirteen, while hiding
Speaker 1: out in Vienna, he gave the daughter of the woman
Speaker 1: hosting him a bag of candy every day. After a while,
Speaker 1: he asked the kid's mother who she thought the child
Speaker 1: would run to if they both called her. They both
Speaker 1: tried it, and the girl ran to Stalin, Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: which is like, that's a messed up power move from
Speaker 1: the lady who's yeah exactly, And also just like why
Speaker 1: just to be a dick? Yeah, why do you want this? Okay? Cool? Great, cool?
Speaker 1: Now this kid likes you better than it's mom, and
Speaker 1: you're gonna leave, And then his daughters like, where's my candy? Man?
Speaker 1: He's just he's a bad dude. This is crossing my line.
Speaker 1: That is crossing a line. Uh. He could be really
Speaker 1: funny and pithy. He was also incredibly foul mouthed when
Speaker 1: his friend Voroshilov gave a speech that Staln liked. Staln
Speaker 1: sent Vos a note that said, a world leader, fuck
Speaker 1: his mother. I've read your report. You criticized everyone, fuck
Speaker 1: their mother, Joseph Stalin. Everybody def jam Stalin just drop
Speaker 1: an FT bombs all over. I'd love to hear his
Speaker 1: version of the aristocrats. His whole time in power was
Speaker 1: his version of the aristocrat. That was those were his
Speaker 1: last words, absolutely aristocrats. That's how that jokes started. Like
Speaker 1: this is the darkest jokes. He really mean it went far,
Speaker 1: but no, no, no, Stalin died and Bob Saget in
Speaker 1: America just like feels something stands up and just starts
Speaker 1: with slow applause. Just like that was game respects game
Speaker 1: um as I said, Stalin was great with kids. He
Speaker 1: would entertain them by throwing orange peels and wine corks
Speaker 1: into their ice cream and dis guts into their teeth.
Speaker 1: He loves throwing orange peels. I mean, I guess like
Speaker 1: probably oranges are like a sign of wealth because like
Speaker 1: everyone in Russia, I assume probably has scurvy at this
Speaker 1: pain or he's killed them. So it's just like, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm just throwing the peels around cares. I do feel
Speaker 1: that that's like the happiest Stalin ever is is just
Speaker 1: throwing orange peels at people. Exactly. He just needed more
Speaker 1: orange peels. Just keep oranges around him, please, He's gonna
Speaker 1: throw him at you. It's fine not signing death list
Speaker 1: when he's throwing orange peels. Seriously, just let him do it.
Speaker 1: He just wanted to be a juggle are really bad lace.
Speaker 1: He always had like round fruit around him at all time,
Speaker 1: but he was his hands were too hard from all
Speaker 1: the hard work and the in the oil rigs. He
Speaker 1: would break the oranges and bruise them and that's why
Speaker 1: he would throw them at people. We really really thought
Speaker 1: this out. Yeah, you know. He was said to have
Speaker 1: perfect pitch, a rare and sweet voice. Some of his
Speaker 1: friends said that if he hadn't become a dictator, he
Speaker 1: could have been a career singer. Well, but here's the thing, Uh,
Speaker 1: if that wasn't true, you wouldn't say it. Well, I
Speaker 1: think that some of this came out by people who
Speaker 1: knew him after he was dead, and people are starting
Speaker 1: to say, like, it's one of those things that I
Speaker 1: don't think is just people blown up. He was just
Speaker 1: really good at Like Miles um one of the many
Speaker 1: things that our friend Miles Gray from the Daily Zeitgeist
Speaker 1: as in common with Justin Stalin um cool. He's also
Speaker 1: an unruly treasure. So from my point of view, Stalin's
Speaker 1: real talent, though came as a captioneer. I have some
Speaker 1: base is to judge this, since it used to be
Speaker 1: my job to write all the article captions on the
Speaker 1: Little Pictures and Cracked articles. Stalin did basically the same thing,
Speaker 1: but to artworks that would be submitted to him for approval.
Speaker 1: And we're going to look at some of those. Hell yeah,
Speaker 1: he's like he invented tinder and memes, is what you're
Speaker 1: telling me? Kinda yeah, it wouldn't be unfair to say
Speaker 1: Stalin was a meme pioneer. This is from an article
Speaker 1: called Stalin's Vulgar Sense of Humor on smart History blog.
Speaker 1: The actual origin of these pictures is from a Telegraph article,
Speaker 1: I think, but this blog actually put them out the best.
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna hand you this, and I want you
Speaker 1: to go through each picture and describe the picture, and
Speaker 1: then read the caption. If you guys want to follow
Speaker 1: along with the pictures, the links and stuff are on
Speaker 1: the website. The first one here, I'll describe it. It
Speaker 1: looks like it's a naked man with his butts just
Speaker 1: out the shadow of a ball underneath. He's got his
Speaker 1: hand up over his head and he's like leaning against
Speaker 1: the wall as if he just like bombed at audition.
Speaker 1: I live in Los Angeles, and the the caption said,
Speaker 1: as you need to work, not wank. Time for re education.
Speaker 1: Jayceonlin science like he's science because if yeah exactly, Yeah yeah, man,
Speaker 1: we get it. Your handwriting is everywhere because you're the
Speaker 1: supreme leader. You need to work not wank. I think
Speaker 1: he actually maybe didn't. That means that he mented like
Speaker 1: the cat posters in an office, like the hanging there.
Speaker 1: This is like a very vulgar version of that. I
Speaker 1: was going to say the New Yorker, Yeah, yeah, that's here.
Speaker 1: Oh that's great. Okay, the next one, man, he's got
Speaker 1: a lot of naked These are all pictures of naked
Speaker 1: men for some reasons. Okay, great, Yeah, this next one
Speaker 1: is like it's a These are all like black and
Speaker 1: white sketches. This next one is like a naked man.
Speaker 1: He's facing front this time. Um, he's got like a
Speaker 1: beard and hair and a mustache, and he's like got
Speaker 1: his hands up as if he is playing baseball, but
Speaker 1: it looks like a piece of bread or something. He's
Speaker 1: probably holding onto a rat because Stalin has um, you know,
Speaker 1: starved everybody, and then the caption is, why are you
Speaker 1: so thin? Mikhail Ivanovich? Do some work on is um
Speaker 1: is no work? Trimarxism, Jay Stalinism, of course is masturbation.
Speaker 1: I get it. I mean he's not unfunny. No, he's not. No,
Speaker 1: like these aren't These aren't bad, Joe. It's not like
Speaker 1: a Mike Huckabee tweets. These are solid getting not the
Speaker 1: most original, but solid. I like that he wrote. He
Speaker 1: he with an exclamation point. That's adorable. That's that's kind
Speaker 1: of cute. Like do you think they didn't think about
Speaker 1: him just like in his office, just like, oh my god, one,
Speaker 1: they're gonna love this. Where were these published or were
Speaker 1: these just like these just in the Soviet archives? The
Speaker 1: Soviet archives got opened up like a twenty years ago
Speaker 1: or something, and historians are still pouring through them, and
Speaker 1: this is just something they found. So it's like pictures
Speaker 1: of like Hitler's dead body. And then like all of these,
Speaker 1: Stalin captioned perfect, all right. This next one is a
Speaker 1: naked couple and the woman is like on the ground
Speaker 1: and the guy is standing above her with his hand
Speaker 1: behind his head and scratching it as if what's going
Speaker 1: on and the caption is idiot, you've completely forgotten what
Speaker 1: to do. I mean, it's hilarious. That's great. He didn't
Speaker 1: sign this one. He was just like, well, this one's obvious.
Speaker 1: Nobody's gonna think anybody but Jay stall would write this exactly.
Speaker 1: Oh man, okay. The next one is another naked man
Speaker 1: looking forward. Where did you get all these photos? And
Speaker 1: it's just like from he has to approve these. So
Speaker 1: these are art that Soviets have made that they want
Speaker 1: to be able to publish, Like these are like paintings
Speaker 1: and stuff. Oh, I see, I got it. They can't
Speaker 1: go anywhere unless Stalin says yes, because he's the absolute ruler.
Speaker 1: So this guy is just chilling on some boxes naked,
Speaker 1: staring down at the ground and says, don't sit on
Speaker 1: stones with your naked ass, go join comes some all
Speaker 1: and rab fact workers university isn't quote, someone give this
Speaker 1: guy underpan, Jay Stalin. I do imagine that as like
Speaker 1: a little George Bush left. Yeah, he for sure. They
Speaker 1: all have that same little laugh. Yeah. I think they're
Speaker 1: so damn clever just because they're part of the illuminati.
Speaker 1: These are so silly. Yeah, they're just ridiculous. Um, that's
Speaker 1: probably good on those. Yeah, the underscrolling. Now, now the
Speaker 1: podcast consists of me scrolling and looking at pictures of
Speaker 1: naked men while you tell me about Stalin, So you know,
Speaker 1: I mean, that's just for the listeners this podcast. That
Speaker 1: was always the vision. Um. So the Soviets were great
Speaker 1: record keepers, which is why we have all this stuff. Um.
Speaker 1: Often the notes that we would have from like their
Speaker 1: meetings of the Pullet Burero would include doodles, and sometimes
Speaker 1: Stalin would take out a crand to write on the
Speaker 1: doodle of like a colleague as well. Uh. And so
Speaker 1: there's apparently one drawing of the countries of the USSRS
Speaker 1: finance minister at the time, hanging from a rope by
Speaker 1: his genitals in the margins. Stalin wrote to all members
Speaker 1: of the pullet Buro for his pres sends the name
Speaker 1: of the guy who's the finance minister should be hung
Speaker 1: by his balls. If they hold up, he should be
Speaker 1: considered not guilty, as if in a court of law.
Speaker 1: If they give way, he should be drowned in a river.
Speaker 1: This guy, this guy. Yeah, boy, Well it's also funny
Speaker 1: because it's like the feminist response to um burning witches.
Speaker 1: It's a finance minister test. That is also a bullshit
Speaker 1: We'll kill you either way? Sure, why not? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's a whimsical, fun way to kill people. It is.
Speaker 1: He was all about whimsy. Um. He also had an
Speaker 1: explosive temper. Surprise. I'm quoting here from a fun book
Speaker 1: called A Brotherhood of Tyrants, Manic depression, and Absolute Power.
Speaker 1: Stalin became known for violence when he was a young revolutionary,
Speaker 1: which yeah, goes hand in hand. Yeah. Generally he would
Speaker 1: lose control during arguments with party members, cursing them and
Speaker 1: throwing objects such as stools, which Steve Balmer, the former
Speaker 1: CEO of Microsoft, love to do. Quote. When he was
Speaker 1: married to his first wife, Kato, Stalin's brutality was witnessed
Speaker 1: by a man with whom they were living. Um, that's
Speaker 1: what he is. Kato was pregnant then, and he used
Speaker 1: to curse her in the most disgusting way and kick
Speaker 1: her in the belly. Yeah. Yeah, did you go from Yeah?
Speaker 1: Did he have any kids with the first with the
Speaker 1: first wife one? Okay, yeah, you never hear about that one?
Speaker 1: Yeah you never? I mean that one. That one wound
Speaker 1: up dying in a Nazi concentration camp. Oh that's that's why. Yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: um so Uh. During a second marriage to Nadya, Stalin
Speaker 1: was known to throw food out the window if he
Speaker 1: was bored with it. He'd slam his phone against the
Speaker 1: wall if it gave him a busy signal. Stalin's rage
Speaker 1: was often bafflingly mundane. Uh. Quote when he found a
Speaker 1: large mirror in his new Kremlin apartment, he said, what's
Speaker 1: a mirror here for? And kicked it to pieces. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, what a baby, What a stupid tantrum baby,
Speaker 1: change your diaper, Stalin. Jesus. Yeah, Stalin could go from
Speaker 1: being your best buddy to wanting you dead in a
Speaker 1: moment's notice. Yeah, there's another quote from a relative tyrant's uh,
Speaker 1: No amount of friendship and loyalty was enough to win
Speaker 1: the dictator's trust. Um. The book here is quoting his
Speaker 1: daughter's fet Lana, who said the past ceased to exist
Speaker 1: for him. Years of friendship and fighting side by side
Speaker 1: and a common cause might as well have never been
Speaker 1: difficult as it is to understand. He could wipe it
Speaker 1: all out with one stroke. So you've betrayed me, some
Speaker 1: inter demon would whisper, I don't even know you anymore.
Speaker 1: So that's his daughter describing daddy. That's a that's some
Speaker 1: daddy issues to deal with. Yeah. Yeah, it's one of
Speaker 1: those things that makes me discount. I always just assume
Speaker 1: Staling was like a cold heartless sociopath. Um, and I
Speaker 1: don't think that anymore because it seems like like his
Speaker 1: murdering his wife's families, like it's he's just he can't
Speaker 1: deal with emotion. So he thinks about his wife and
Speaker 1: gets sad, and then he like sees someone who was
Speaker 1: related to her and he's like, well, what if I
Speaker 1: just get rid of him? Yeah, he hulk smashes everything. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he and it's like fits of peakue that he does
Speaker 1: all this in with time, sometimes he would regret doing
Speaker 1: terrible things to people. It wasn't uncommon for him to
Speaker 1: calm down and come to regret a purge. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: quote here from in the quarter of the Red Czar Uh.
Speaker 1: Once he wandered up to one of his marshals who
Speaker 1: had been arrested and released. I heard you were recent
Speaker 1: lee in confinement. Yes, comrade Stalin, I was, but they
Speaker 1: figured out my case and released me. But how many
Speaker 1: good and remarkable people perished there. Yes, mus Stalin thoughtfully,
Speaker 1: we've lost a lot of good and remarkable people. Then
Speaker 1: he walked out of the room and into the garden.
Speaker 1: The quarters turned to the Marshal. What did you say
Speaker 1: to comrade Stalin, demanded Malenkov, who always behaved like the
Speaker 1: school prefect. Why Then Stalin reappeared holding a bouquet of roses,
Speaker 1: which he presented to the Marshal as a weird sort
Speaker 1: of apology. Man, just he's just an emotional toddler. Sorry,
Speaker 1: I killed your friends and sent you to be tortured.
Speaker 1: Here's some roses, there's some flowers. Yeah, I feel like
Speaker 1: we're cool. I didn't take the thorns off because I
Speaker 1: am still Stalin. He just is a is an unformed
Speaker 1: person who wound up in charge of a whole country,
Speaker 1: which is a thing that has never happened before since
Speaker 1: could let something like that? What a bunch of idiots
Speaker 1: these people were letting that kind of a guy, boy,
Speaker 1: Um Stalin wasn't consistently an asshole. Is the story of
Speaker 1: an old woman who crashed into his car in World
Speaker 1: War Two because the roads were strewn with ruined German
Speaker 1: tanks and equipment. She was terrified obviously, but he was like, no, no,
Speaker 1: it's not your fault. It's the war. Everything sucks. Like,
Speaker 1: just go get your car repaired. Everything's fine. Can you
Speaker 1: imagine getting out of the car you're ending being like,
Speaker 1: oh god, I knew I should have been looking at
Speaker 1: my phone. We gotta do some ads. I'm gonna go
Speaker 1: read some ads, uh and sell you guys some things
Speaker 1: and capitalize on your attention in a way that Stalin
Speaker 1: would have hated. So if you hate Stalin by these products. Alright,
Speaker 1: So we're back and we're talking about Joseph Stalin after dark,
Speaker 1: and we are telling a tale right now of Stalin
Speaker 1: on a visit to the front lines during World War two. Um,
Speaker 1: mostly a pr thing, you know, getting pictured near the fronts.
Speaker 1: People see that they're glorious. Leader is is, you know,
Speaker 1: taking the fight to the Germans installed dub dubb dose
Speaker 1: World War two? Uh? Okay, so um. During this visit
Speaker 1: of the front lines, one of the nights they wind
Speaker 1: up chilling at a peasant's house. Stalin like sleeps in
Speaker 1: one of her spare bedrooms. It's mostly like a pr thing, Like, look,
Speaker 1: he's so humble. Hitler's got all these bunkers. Stalin just
Speaker 1: crashed into the ladies house. At the end of the visit.
Speaker 1: He insisted on paying her for his stay, but he
Speaker 1: couldn't figure out how much to pay her because he
Speaker 1: hadn't handled money in decades and he had no cash,
Speaker 1: and because all of the people with him were good Bolsheviks,
Speaker 1: none of them had cash either, so nobody had any
Speaker 1: money to pay thee there's some oranges. During the same visit,
Speaker 1: as he was driving home in his armored car, Stalin
Speaker 1: and his whole motor kaid stopped because quote, he needed
Speaker 1: to defecate. Uh. He got out of the car and
Speaker 1: asked if the bushes had any land mines or unexploded
Speaker 1: ordinance in them, and nobody knew, and they couldn't guarantee it,
Speaker 1: and since it's Stalin, nobody was willing to say that.
Speaker 1: So anyway, the Premier and Commander in chief of the
Speaker 1: Red Army dropped trout, squatted in the road, and took
Speaker 1: a ship in front of all of his men. Fun
Speaker 1: little part of World War two to have gotten to see.
Speaker 1: That's just great. Can you imagine that the army is
Speaker 1: just like working back and be like, oh, it's the
Speaker 1: boss pooping in the road. Okay, glorious leader, this is
Speaker 1: what we're doing now. Um. He was a guy with
Speaker 1: weird priorities. At the height of the war, when he
Speaker 1: had dozens of armies assembled to launch a massive assault
Speaker 1: against the German lines, he decided that that was also
Speaker 1: a good time to launch a massive nationwide song contest
Speaker 1: to see who could create the new national anthem. I
Speaker 1: mean there are Simon Cowell tendencies to this man. Yeah,
Speaker 1: for sure, cowl ish figure, he could say, for sure.
Speaker 1: Also a little guy. Also a little guy I've seen.
Speaker 1: I've seen Simon Cowe. He wears real big heels. Why
Speaker 1: just except that you're not tall. It's fine, it's fine.
Speaker 1: It's more people should be little. It's fine. It's it's better.
Speaker 1: It means you take up less resources, you're more ethical.
Speaker 1: I'm horribly unethical. Uh okay. So the song contest led
Speaker 1: to the Soviet national anthem we all know and love today.
Speaker 1: It's objectively one of the coolest sounding anthems of all time,
Speaker 1: regardless of your feelings on socialism. It's just it's intense. Uh.
Speaker 1: Stalin was very happy about it. He threw a gigantic
Speaker 1: party all of the magnates dressed up in ridiculous costumes
Speaker 1: with gold braids and daggers and other nonsense. One foreigner
Speaker 1: present said the Russians were as happy with their new
Speaker 1: clothes as a little boy all dressed up in his
Speaker 1: new Christmas present fireman suit. Um, he's more toddlers. Just yeah,
Speaker 1: they're just a bunch of big kids who have a country. Now.
Speaker 1: Like if you did the Muppet Baby's version of Stalin's USSR,
Speaker 1: it would just be the exact same plot, but with
Speaker 1: them in diapers. It's just emotional toddlers. So everybody got
Speaker 1: outrageously drunk. The British ambassador quote fell flat on his
Speaker 1: face onto a table covered with bottles and wine glasses
Speaker 1: and cut himself. Uh. These quotes are all from in
Speaker 1: the Court of the Red Czar, which is a wonderful book.
Speaker 1: An American general, sadly and name showed up at the
Speaker 1: party with two prostitutes. Uh. Stalin kept relatively sober um,
Speaker 1: but after this this party was sort of like the
Speaker 1: breaking point for that, and he started to drink more
Speaker 1: once the risk of defeat was limited. You know, during
Speaker 1: the early stages of World War Two, at most he
Speaker 1: might put a little brandy in his tea after a
Speaker 1: major victory like the victory at stalin Grad, and he
Speaker 1: kept sober because like the whole world was at stake.
Speaker 1: Yeah for sure. Well, and he probably you know, saw
Speaker 1: what the the way that the Czar and z Arena
Speaker 1: handled themselves during World War One, and was like, Okay, well,
Speaker 1: I really gotta get this one right. I've learned a
Speaker 1: couple of writing on this whole World War thing exactly.
Speaker 1: So he starts drinking again after in like forty three,
Speaker 1: and uh, it becomes very clear that he is off
Speaker 1: the wagon. In a December nineteen forty three visit by
Speaker 1: Charles de Gal to Moscow is sort of the exiled
Speaker 1: leader of France at this point, Uh, Stalin and Degal
Speaker 1: had a disagreement over French recognition of the Polish government
Speaker 1: in an exile. The negotiations stalled out, and Stalin decided
Speaker 1: to get RiPP shit drunk. Uh. He got hammered and
Speaker 1: then complained that Degal was awkward and clumsy and everyone
Speaker 1: needed to drink more wine so that everything could straighten out. Um,
Speaker 1: just having a drink, we'll just talk about we'll figure
Speaker 1: this out. That's not how wine works. That's not how
Speaker 1: geopolitics works, the fate of tens of millions. Uh So,
Speaker 1: Stalin chugged champagne and took over the job of toasting
Speaker 1: from Molotov, who was the actual diplomat. H He cheered
Speaker 1: Roosevelt and Churchill, who weren't in attendance, and ignored Degall,
Speaker 1: which is great diplomacy. Molotov cocktail name bet for that guy.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, because of the Finnish Russian War, I think,
Speaker 1: um and uh yeah. He was also the guy who
Speaker 1: made the big pact with Hitler that split Poland up.
Speaker 1: He's he's important, dude. Um Stalin saluted several of his
Speaker 1: own men who were present, and during the salutes he
Speaker 1: would joke about the fact that he was probably going
Speaker 1: to have them killed in the near future in front
Speaker 1: of them. Just a lot of like high pitched like
Speaker 1: side I laughing, happening in the forties, and nothing but
Speaker 1: side I laughed. De gall was horrified by all this,
Speaker 1: of course, uh Stalin noticed, so he leaned over to
Speaker 1: the Frenchman and said, people call me a monster, but
Speaker 1: as you see I make a joke of it, maybe
Speaker 1: I'm not horrible at all. Oh my god, which you're
Speaker 1: not convincing anyone you're not the worst. So just because
Speaker 1: you're genocide has a punchline doesn't mean it wasn't a genocide.
Speaker 1: So Molotov starts actually doing the work of diplomacy with
Speaker 1: a French diplomat over the treaty. And while they're working
Speaker 1: the reason this whole meeting is happening, Stalin shouts out,
Speaker 1: bring the machine guns out, let's liquidate the diplomats. Oh
Speaker 1: my god. Then he took his guests out for coffee
Speaker 1: and movies. He hugged the frenchman at random, and staggered
Speaker 1: around drunkenly. Uh. This marks the opening of the last
Speaker 1: great stage in Joseph Stalin's life, which I call his
Speaker 1: drunk as Fuck period because it was Kara derives by
Speaker 1: nightmarish drinking sessions and a tremendous growth in practical jokes. Uh.
Speaker 1: Stalin loved practical jokes, just a cloy example, during the
Speaker 1: celebration of victory in World War Two, one of the
Speaker 1: other magnates pulled the ceremonial knife out of a Russian
Speaker 1: diplomat's uniform and replaced it with a pickle. Stalin laughed
Speaker 1: about it the entire day. That is the funniest thing
Speaker 1: he'd ever seen. He would have loved Kara top I
Speaker 1: feel like Gallagher would have rocked Stalin's world, even America. Yeah.
Speaker 1: He became more erratic after the war, possibly as the
Speaker 1: result of several mini strokes in his increased drinking. Uh.
Speaker 1: He purged more and more of his inner circle and
Speaker 1: complained to Marshall Zukov, who was the Russian general who
Speaker 1: won World War Two pretty much quote, I am a
Speaker 1: most unfortunate person. I'm afraid of my own shadow. It's
Speaker 1: almost like killing millions of people will catch up to
Speaker 1: you sooner or later. Yeah. And Stalin apparently couldn't be
Speaker 1: left alone, did not ever want to be alone for
Speaker 1: any long period of time if you could avoid it.
Speaker 1: And so every single night he would ask if all
Speaker 1: of the magnates were free for dinner, and they would
Speaker 1: come over to his house uh, and they would start
Speaker 1: to eat, and these dinners would generally last six hours
Speaker 1: or longer. Um. And that's just the dinner portion. As
Speaker 1: I go through this, remember this is every day for
Speaker 1: the men that are around Stalin, Like, how long is
Speaker 1: your work day? And then you've got dinner after the
Speaker 1: whole work day. This is the only work day. They
Speaker 1: start eating and they start drinking mildly with bottles of wine,
Speaker 1: weak liqueurs and sometimes champagne. Then as the evening war on,
Speaker 1: they would switch to toasts of vodka, something called pepper
Speaker 1: vodka which sounds like the worst, and brandy. Uh. They
Speaker 1: would always proceed past tipsy and sauce into a state
Speaker 1: of blind stinking drunkitude. Stalin would generally water down his
Speaker 1: own drinks with mineral water on his doctor's advice, but
Speaker 1: that just meant it took him younger to get wrecked
Speaker 1: than everyone else, and so everyone else had to drink
Speaker 1: more and longer. This is a quote from in the
Speaker 1: Court of the Red CSAR. Forcing his tough comrades to
Speaker 1: lose control of themselves became his sport and a measure
Speaker 1: of dominance. The drinking started with Stalin, not Barrier. He
Speaker 1: quote forced us to drink to loosen our tongues, wrote
Speaker 1: McCoy in. Stalin liked the old drinking game of guessing
Speaker 1: the temperature, which is literally that classic drinking game. He
Speaker 1: would say to someone, Hey, Barrier, guess the temperature, and
Speaker 1: Barry would say, I don't know, fifteen And if it
Speaker 1: was eighteen, Barry would drink three shots of vodka. No
Speaker 1: oh no, it's like one guy at the table that's
Speaker 1: always like nine every time that guy would have died
Speaker 1: of alcohol poison because they used selfius. Um. No one
Speaker 1: but Stalin enjoyed these drinking vengeines. For the rest of
Speaker 1: these guys, this is just a nightmare, an endless nightmare.
Speaker 1: Every single day their their drink king not just excess,
Speaker 1: but to nightmarish excess. I mean, he's just acting like
Speaker 1: the worst divorce, like a frat boy divorce. Like it's
Speaker 1: this weird mix of like frat leader and sad divorce. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and it's and it's like your friends are like, hey man,
Speaker 1: we're gonna go out, like we're gonna get you over her.
Speaker 1: Don't worry about it, Like we're going to do this.
Speaker 1: But like it's like he's not moving at all, doing
Speaker 1: this forever. Yeah. It was very common for various magnates
Speaker 1: to stagger out of the room mid meal, vomit, soiled themselves,
Speaker 1: and then have to come back in to do more. Uh.
Speaker 1: Sometimes they got too drunk to do even that and
Speaker 1: they have to be carried home by their guards. But
Speaker 1: people were puking like vomiting into their like. Know, the
Speaker 1: dictator of Yugoslavia apparently once had to vomit down his
Speaker 1: shirt sleeve in order to like keep going at this
Speaker 1: party because they were just drinking so much. Um Molotov
Speaker 1: and Khrushchev were the best drinkers in the group. Even so,
Speaker 1: the spinges were so intense that Kruschev sometimes wet his
Speaker 1: bed at night while passed out. Several magnates became desperate
Speaker 1: to find a way to avoid drinking with Stalin. This
Speaker 1: is a quote from a Brotherhood of Tyrants. At Stalin's dinners,
Speaker 1: Krushchev states quote, there were often serious drinking bouts. I
Speaker 1: remember Barria, Malenkov and mccoyon had to ask the waitress
Speaker 1: to pour them colored water instead of wine because they
Speaker 1: couldn't keep up with Stalin's drinking. He added that when
Speaker 1: Stalin realized he had been deceived, he fumed with anger
Speaker 1: and raised a terrible uproar. These guys are like pouring
Speaker 1: colored water color wife, just trying not to die, trying
Speaker 1: to yeah, we all have gout, dude. And again every
Speaker 1: single day they would they would drink all night and
Speaker 1: then go home, and by the time they woke up
Speaker 1: Stalin to be calling them again saying, you guys want
Speaker 1: to come from over for dinner. They have wives and kids,
Speaker 1: doesn't matter. Stalin does not give a shit about that.
Speaker 1: And also he jailed a lot of their wives. Yea,
Speaker 1: the wives probably were like, fine, yeah, that's fine, cleaning
Speaker 1: up my husband's piss, Yes, exactly. He cleared his own
Speaker 1: vomit and see everything that I do for him. At
Speaker 1: one point, Stalin found out that one of his friends
Speaker 1: had been sneaking secret naps when he went to the
Speaker 1: bathroom in order to sober up just a little bit,
Speaker 1: and Stalin said, quote, want to be smarter than the rest,
Speaker 1: don't you see you don't regret it later. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: he's just trying to like they Oh man, I hate him. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's the worst. The stakes on these drinking bitches were
Speaker 1: incredibly high because if you said the wrong thing, he'd
Speaker 1: kill you. And that was part of why he did it,
Speaker 1: so that people would be honest, so that he could
Speaker 1: like know if somebody was plotting against him. I figured,
Speaker 1: if everybody's blackout drunk, nobody's hiding anything from me. Um,
Speaker 1: what a paranoid, crazy person. Yeah. Yeah, everyone was way
Speaker 1: too wasted to perform the peak ability and these are
Speaker 1: very competent people. Uh So, in order to try to
Speaker 1: stay alive, the magnates turned to crude, practical jokes to
Speaker 1: keep Stalin occupied. They were not funny. One favorite joke
Speaker 1: was just to shove people into the pond near Stalin's house.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie. That would make me laugh over
Speaker 1: and over again for days. And it became such a
Speaker 1: problem that Stalin's bodyguards had to drain the pond because
Speaker 1: they were like one of these guys kind of fucking
Speaker 1: drowned there too, drunk to swim, and they're not gonna
Speaker 1: be able to help each other out. Like, if we
Speaker 1: don't drain this pond, one of the leaders of the
Speaker 1: Soviet Union is going to drown drunk and Stalin his
Speaker 1: poor Like, we take a moment for Stalin's poor staff,
Speaker 1: the people that had to like clean up after all
Speaker 1: of this and make the food and get the booze
Speaker 1: and like watch them at all. They're just like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, and they all have to live a nocturnal
Speaker 1: schedule to yeah, oh no, one night. Barry A drunkenly
Speaker 1: suggested that they loose some caged quails and shoot them,
Speaker 1: which was obviously a great idea. Great guns and blackout drunk, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that always goes well. Stalin, equally drunk, grabbed a gun
Speaker 1: and wandered out into the garden. He fired his gun
Speaker 1: into the ground first, barely missing one of his friends,
Speaker 1: and then he fired it into the air and hit
Speaker 1: two of his bodyguards with birch shot. This is what
Speaker 1: I meant when I said he pulled a change, pulled
Speaker 1: a double cheney somewhere on an oxygen tank in Wyoming
Speaker 1: right now, just like, why don't I get people to
Speaker 1: come over? Just make them all drink. Stalin had a
Speaker 1: mean sense of humor. H yeah, oh, we got it.
Speaker 1: A Brotherhood of tyrants relates this story that Kruschev told
Speaker 1: uh for some reason. This is Kruschev talking for some reason.
Speaker 1: He found the humiliation of others very amusing. I remember
Speaker 1: once Stalin maybe dance the gopak before some top party officials.
Speaker 1: I had to squat down on my haunches and kick
Speaker 1: out my heels, which frankly wasn't very easy for me,
Speaker 1: but I did it, and I tried to keep a
Speaker 1: pleasant expression on my face. Stalin was quite capable of
Speaker 1: humiliating even his daughter once she had left childhood after
Speaker 1: World War Two. At a dinner given for twelve Soviet Marshall,
Speaker 1: Stalin said in his daughter's presence, Well, my friends, I
Speaker 1: bet you don't know who's sucking her now because he's
Speaker 1: the worst. Oh, he is the worst. He's the worst.
Speaker 1: What is it about, like leaders having inappropriate relationships with
Speaker 1: their daughters? It's crazy? Yeah, I would have that never
Speaker 1: happened again. Yeah. Uh Kruschief said. Stalin sometimes got so
Speaker 1: drunk that he took liberties, which means sexual assault today.
Speaker 1: But back then method Stalin drunkenly throw tomatoes at his friends.
Speaker 1: This became a trope among the drunken magnates. Marius started
Speaker 1: sneaking tomatoes into mccoyan's suits and would then shove him
Speaker 1: into a wall so the tomato would burst in his pants.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie. That's actually kind of funny. For years,
Speaker 1: mccoyan would have to bring spare pants to dinner just
Speaker 1: to deal with the inevitable tomato in the pants. Old
Speaker 1: spare pants. Mccoya over here. Stal loved this. He loved
Speaker 1: it when someone would sit on a tomato. He loved
Speaker 1: it when his his friends would fill someone else's vodka
Speaker 1: with salt so they'd vomit after drinking. He's just the
Speaker 1: frat boy of all frat just like when was the
Speaker 1: whoope cushion invented? Because I feel like he would have
Speaker 1: lost goddamn mine with a safet on a tomatoes, Give
Speaker 1: me a rubber chicken. It's hilarious. So these all night
Speaker 1: drunken dinners are where the vast majority of Russian state
Speaker 1: business was settled. So all of the ussr is political
Speaker 1: decisions were done while these guys were just getting hammered.
Speaker 1: Peopleould come in Stong would sign things, he was ordering executions,
Speaker 1: he was he was making national policy for the Cold War,
Speaker 1: and all these guys were while they were just not
Speaker 1: just drunk, but I'm gonna say probably the drunkest any
Speaker 1: human beings have ever been. I love the idea of
Speaker 1: who's Who's president at this point. I think Truman for
Speaker 1: a big part of this, Yeah, is that the idea
Speaker 1: of like a split screen of of how they both
Speaker 1: conducted their business and how the Cold War is ramping
Speaker 1: up on both sides. That's what's amazing. From forty five
Speaker 1: to fifty three, one of the world's two superpowers and
Speaker 1: a nuclear power. For most of that was managed by
Speaker 1: a bunch of wasted old men in between smashing tomatoes
Speaker 1: into each other, and we didn't have a nuclear war.
Speaker 1: That's inspiring it really like that does give me a
Speaker 1: little bit of hope. Well, al right, okay, uh, just
Speaker 1: keep a lot of tomatoes around. Apparently as the move.
Speaker 1: So everything we've described so far is generally going up
Speaker 1: to about two am in the morning. At two am ish,
Speaker 1: Stalin would usually suggest that everyone come watch a movie
Speaker 1: with him, so they're all the drunkest anyone's ever been
Speaker 1: covered in tomato, and Stalin says, you, guys, want to
Speaker 1: watch a movie? Oh boy, what's he? What's he pulling out?
Speaker 1: His favorite movies were detective films, westerns, and gangster films
Speaker 1: like The m p A. He loved fight scenes and
Speaker 1: was disgusted by any hint of sexuality. H here's a
Speaker 1: quote from In the Court of the Redsar when Boschakov,
Speaker 1: who Bolshakov was his movie guy. I'll get in him
Speaker 1: a little later, once showed him a slightly risque a
Speaker 1: scene involving a naked girl. He banged the table and said,
Speaker 1: are you making a bravo here Boschekov, and then he
Speaker 1: walked out, followed by the pullet burrow, leaving poor Bolschikov
Speaker 1: awaiting arrest. From then on, he cut even the slightest
Speaker 1: glimpse of nudity. Oh boy, I like that. Stalin, on
Speaker 1: top of everything else, is like a big prude of everything. Yeah. Man,
Speaker 1: He's like, no, no, I can't get the boobs out
Speaker 1: of here. Put some tomatoes in pockets instead, blow something up.
Speaker 1: Boschakov was Stalin's film curator, and he had maybe the
Speaker 1: worst job of anyone who likes movies has ever had. Uh.
Speaker 1: He had to pick the movies for the night, which
Speaker 1: was a tremendously dangerous job. That's so scary. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: because you don't want to give Stalin pick a movie
Speaker 1: for Stalin that he doesn't want to see all those
Speaker 1: poor actors movies too, can you imagine, being like most
Speaker 1: of them are American movies. He loved American movies. Um.
Speaker 1: Boschakov's two predecessors had both been executed. Uh. Stalin would
Speaker 1: make Boschakov translate the foreign films that they watched. Boschakov
Speaker 1: was not good at it, but that was okay because
Speaker 1: Stalin mostly wanted to laugh at him sucking at the job.
Speaker 1: I mean, okay, like, here's the thing, Like he's a
Speaker 1: bad man, but his shades of gray every thing. You're like,
Speaker 1: you know what, that sounds fun? Yeah yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: just like that. Yeah No, that's the tricky thing about Stalin. Um.
Speaker 1: Although when he watched his favorite movies, he'd get up
Speaker 1: and perform his favorite scenes before they happen in the movie.
Speaker 1: Guy that watch this, watch this, watch us, wait, wait,
Speaker 1: watch this, watch this. It's coming. If he had seen Borat,
Speaker 1: that would have been the only thing he ever said
Speaker 1: for the rest of his life, was just quoting lines
Speaker 1: from fucking Boy Like he's that guy. He's absolutely that guy.
Speaker 1: Can you imagine my wife, my wife forever? But if
Speaker 1: you don't laugh, he kills your family. You just have
Speaker 1: to laugh. My wife for forever your life. It's it's
Speaker 1: a nightmare. Um yeah. Many of the movies that Stalin
Speaker 1: picked came with horrifying undertones. First colleagues, one film that
Speaker 1: he watched repeatedly was about a pirate who stole a
Speaker 1: bunch of gold and then murdered all of his co
Speaker 1: pirates so he could keep it for himself. Stalin would
Speaker 1: always shout, what a fellow, look at how he did it?
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Christcheff said this was depressing and reminded
Speaker 1: all of the other magnates that they were temporary people,
Speaker 1: which would depress you. As his rain war on, Stalin's
Speaker 1: obsession with cinema seemed to warp his view of reality.
Speaker 1: At one point, he insisted on taxing the USSRS peasantry
Speaker 1: in the middle of a horrific famine. The rest of
Speaker 1: the politbrio told him this was a terrible idea, but
Speaker 1: Stalin insisted that peasants could afford it because in the
Speaker 1: parropaganda movies he'd seen, the peasants were all fat and
Speaker 1: happy and had plenty of food. Hey man, do you
Speaker 1: know what propaganda is? Let me explain. You literally ordered this? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: let me show you the B side of what we
Speaker 1: got here. He was an early bene watcher. He'd usually
Speaker 1: suggest a second movie after the first, which would have
Speaker 1: elicited groans from his friends if groaning in his presence
Speaker 1: wasn't a death sentence. Movie time generally finished like around
Speaker 1: four or five something like that am, at which point
Speaker 1: he would say, let's go grab a bite to eat.
Speaker 1: If you have the time. Knowing no one could say
Speaker 1: no to him. Late in the night, whilst wasted, Stalin
Speaker 1: would insist on djaying for his hammered colleagues. Oh no,
Speaker 1: isn't the j on top of everything else. He calls
Speaker 1: to a DJ and he prefers comedic records, including one
Speaker 1: with the warbling of a singer accompanied by the yowling
Speaker 1: and barking of dogs, which always made him laugh with mirth.
Speaker 1: So he's like a noise DJ. He's a drunken noise DJ.
Speaker 1: Like five in the morning, after like eleven hours of
Speaker 1: drinking and music, he's putting on noise music. Joseph Stalin
Speaker 1: just needed Netflix and Coachella, and he would have been fine,
Speaker 1: would have been the whole world would have been so
Speaker 1: much better. It would have been Oh god, this is
Speaker 1: the idea of being like having one headphone on his head,
Speaker 1: just like you don't check this out out. That's what's happening.
Speaker 1: That's what's happening. Um this The whole thing generally started
Speaker 1: sometime in the late afternoon and would end well after dawn,
Speaker 1: at which point Stalin would dismiss his drunken associates, lay
Speaker 1: down to read and usually drink a little bit more
Speaker 1: before pat sing out. Then, of course he would wake
Speaker 1: up the next day sometime in the afternoon, call his friends,
Speaker 1: and start the whole process over again. On February nineteen
Speaker 1: fifty three, after a night of reckless drinking in Cowboy Movies,
Speaker 1: Joseph Stalin had a stroke. He died five days later.
Speaker 1: Peace Stalin Stalin after dark. Oh, man, if Joseph Stalin
Speaker 1: pisses himself, do you acknowledge it? He did when he
Speaker 1: had his stroke and they found him that he the
Speaker 1: whole floor was covered and piss. This is like right
Speaker 1: before he died. So he spent like two days soaked
Speaker 1: in his own urine while everyone was too scared to
Speaker 1: change him. Yeah, gotcha. I saw a death of Stalin.
Speaker 1: And it's interesting because like they like nobody wanted to
Speaker 1: go in the room because they're like, you want him
Speaker 1: to do about this? And there's a lot of this controversial.
Speaker 1: Just the death of Stalin is a fun movie. It's
Speaker 1: not very accurate, but but that part, like the fact
Speaker 1: that he was soaked in urine is very true. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean, like of the Dictator deaths, I mean, you know,
Speaker 1: he died in his sleep, of a stroke. He was
Speaker 1: very successful. He died the way you want to die,
Speaker 1: as the absolute ruler of a nightmare regime, which is
Speaker 1: not being murdered by your subjects. Yeah, what why didn't
Speaker 1: they murder? Well, I mean because it seems like I
Speaker 1: know his propaganda. He's really great at marketing, so it
Speaker 1: seems like he was really beloved. He was beloved by
Speaker 1: the common people in the USSR. It was very popular
Speaker 1: with some circles of the country. And anytime he got
Speaker 1: a hint that someone didn't like him anymore, just kill you,
Speaker 1: just kill him, which is why they all tried to
Speaker 1: be his friend. Like these and these guys, you have
Speaker 1: to think his inner circle would be the ones who
Speaker 1: would be plotting any coup. And they're not going to
Speaker 1: be able there they wasted all the time, like their
Speaker 1: life is one perpetual hangover. They're not going to be
Speaker 1: successfully plotting you just hanging on their fingernails. What a
Speaker 1: way to make sure that your comrades don't kill you.
Speaker 1: It's just like throw a frat party for the last
Speaker 1: three years of your life or whatever. Yeah, I mean eight, Yeah,
Speaker 1: isn't every night Because they went on vacation. He could
Speaker 1: have some days where he worked and stuff, but like
Speaker 1: a lot of nights, hundreds of nights like that, he's
Speaker 1: just made of gout. It's like what it seems like
Speaker 1: just God, all of them. That just sounds so it
Speaker 1: does like like Christjeff Berry, the Molotov, these are not
Speaker 1: like historically good people, but you can't not feel sorry
Speaker 1: for them. Yeah, it's a nightmare. No, for sure, that
Speaker 1: sounds awful. For like the better part of a decade.
Speaker 1: You're just getting like college wasted. You're in your sixties,
Speaker 1: Like nobody's in the shape as a human to be
Speaker 1: Like maybe if they were twenty one, they could have
Speaker 1: handled that kind of drinking for a couple of years exactly,
Speaker 1: but no, it's just the worst man. That's just like uh,
Speaker 1: father the Bride drunk for eight years straight, straight man. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's kind of shocking. Uh, the Cold War didn't go
Speaker 1: worse time that this. This actually does give me a
Speaker 1: lot out of faith just in general with like the
Speaker 1: way the world is now to be. Like oh, okay, well,
Speaker 1: I mean I don't these guys were idiots and drunk animals. Okay,
Speaker 1: well he's were drunk monsters and we didn't have a
Speaker 1: nuclear war. So yeah, so I mean, you guys happening
Speaker 1: happening at I don't think they had a button, Like
Speaker 1: I know, eventually they wound up with their own version
Speaker 1: of the button, which they still have. I don't think
Speaker 1: they had that quite yet. Like, I don't think their
Speaker 1: arsenal was that advanced. So maybe if there had been
Speaker 1: a button that Stale could have drunkenly pressed, he would
Speaker 1: have he would have been checked out. He'd always have
Speaker 1: his hand over it. He would have a fake button
Speaker 1: and he'd be like, oh, they just pressed the button,
Speaker 1: and they'd be like, what did you do? And he's like,
Speaker 1: it's the fake buttons just pulling out of the ground
Speaker 1: in the distance exactly. He like sets off a nuke,
Speaker 1: but it's like made of tomatoes. He's just like, check
Speaker 1: this out. But throwing tomatoes at Truman her eyes an
Speaker 1: hour exactly missen to bomb full of orange peels to Washington.
Speaker 1: Do see, that's what I want to do. Let's just
Speaker 1: see what happens. Just throw the peels at eyes and
Speaker 1: now or he'll know what it's about. Appeal that son
Speaker 1: of a b up good exactly. Well alright, uh, brandy,
Speaker 1: posey you want to tell the Internet where they can
Speaker 1: find you, and you yeah, it's it's it's funny, like
Speaker 1: giving where to find me after talking about Stalin for
Speaker 1: an hour because it's like, oh, he knew where to
Speaker 1: find everybody, but falls the record. Um. You can find
Speaker 1: me on Twitter and Instagram at brand Dazzle uh. And
Speaker 1: then my website is Brandy Posey dot com. I have
Speaker 1: all my tour dates up on there. I'm a comedian
Speaker 1: and I tore the country quite a bit. Um small
Speaker 1: over the place, Come see me live. I'm very fun. Um.
Speaker 1: I have an album called Opinion Cave that's available on
Speaker 1: Spotify and iTunes and everywhere you buy albums or stream them. Uh.
Speaker 1: And then I have a podcast as well called Lady
Speaker 1: to Lady that is myself and two other female comics.
Speaker 1: And then we just kind of like goof around and
Speaker 1: hang out and do really dumb stuff like we take
Speaker 1: French Stort to Sizzler and get him white wine. We
Speaker 1: basically stalind French Stort at a Sizzler for a two episode,
Speaker 1: So we do that kind of stuff. It's pretty fun.
Speaker 1: Um And uh, yeah I do. I just have all
Speaker 1: all over the place in l A. Have a monthly
Speaker 1: show called Picture This that's comedians paired up with animators
Speaker 1: and they light animate your jokes during your set, and
Speaker 1: then it's really really fun and we get some huge names.
Speaker 1: And that's at the Virgil once a month here in
Speaker 1: Los Angeles, and it's free and it's super fun and
Speaker 1: all infasive. Brandy Posey dot com. I am intimidated and
Speaker 1: impressed by the things you're doing. I'm Robert Evans. I
Speaker 1: have a book. You can find it on Amazon. It's
Speaker 1: called A Brief History of Vice. It's me experimenting with
Speaker 1: weird ancient drugs. If you can find me on Twitter
Speaker 1: at at I right, okay uh And while you're online
Speaker 1: looking us both up, you should swing on over to
Speaker 1: the Behind the Bastard's website Behind the Bastards dot com,
Speaker 1: or you can find us on Instagram and Twitter at
Speaker 1: at Bastard's pod. Thanks a lot, See you next time,
Speaker 1: and remember to subscribe to this podcast so you can
Speaker 1: hear all about the worst people in history. Bye bye,