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Speaker 1: Hello again, and welcome to Behind the Bastards. I'm Robert Evans,

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Speaker 1: and this is the show where we tell you everything

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Speaker 1: you don't know about the very worst people in history.

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Speaker 1: Today with me is Brandy Posey. Hello, Hello, thanks for

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Speaker 1: having me. How you doing, Brandy, I'm pretty fantastic excited

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Speaker 1: to get behind some bastards. Brandy is a comedian, podcaster,

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Speaker 1: funny person. Anything else you wanna say about yourself up front?

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Speaker 1: Good person? Uh, alleged good person exactly. Yeah. Well, today

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Speaker 1: Brandy and I are going to be talking about Joseph Stalin,

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Speaker 1: Joey Joe stall Yeah, yeah, Uncle Joe, the big man

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Speaker 1: in the Dictator. Maybe the most successful dictator of all time. Um,

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Speaker 1: he's in the running. Yeah, no, he probably is. Actually, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: he's in the running. One of the more prolific mustaches

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Speaker 1: in the Dictator, very famous mustache, right up there with

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Speaker 1: the hitler Um, although some people still rock the Staalin. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so everybody in its kind of the cliffs notes of

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Speaker 1: Joseph Stalin's career. He uh took over the Soviet Union

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Speaker 1: after Lennon died in four He purged a bunch of people.

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Speaker 1: He starved several million more from nineteen two to thirty three.

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Speaker 1: During his time and power, he's estimated to have killed

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Speaker 1: at least six to nine million people, give or take

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Speaker 1: a few millions. Six to nine millions. Yeah, yeah, Like

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Speaker 1: he's right under Hitler in the in the murdering his

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Speaker 1: own people death toll um. He went up against Hitler

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Speaker 1: in one in World War Two. He might have heard

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Speaker 1: of that. Uh, and then he died and had a

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Speaker 1: movie made about that by the dude who created veep Um.

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Speaker 1: So that's a stalling everybody knows. That's the Stallin we're

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Speaker 1: not going to talk about today. Today is the story

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Speaker 1: is about the Stalin that you don't know. This is

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Speaker 1: Joseph Stalin after dark. Oh, this is a sultry Stalin. Okay, Well,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna start with some of j Stall's youth and

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Speaker 1: then we're gonna go into we're gonna talk about everything

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Speaker 1: but Stalin at work. So we're gonna talk about Stalin

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Speaker 1: at play, Stalin at dinner, Stalin on vacation, like a

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Speaker 1: weekend sta. Yeah, weekend Stalin. You know this, Stalin, Stalin's movies. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: all the stuff staling like you so, um, we're going

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Speaker 1: to kick this off with some backstory. Joseph Stalin was

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Speaker 1: born Joseph de Jugasville, which is a Georgian last name,

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Speaker 1: which is you know where he was born, uh, and Georgia.

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Speaker 1: At this point you might look at it as like

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Speaker 1: to the mainstream Czarist Russia, it would be like the

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Speaker 1: middle of nowhere Oklahoma. And in fact, it was commented

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Speaker 1: on his whole life that he had like a really

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Speaker 1: thick accent. Okay, yeah, gotcha, that's interesting. He was like

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Speaker 1: a kind of down home cowboy ish, that kind of drawl. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: If you were going to represent the politboro by accents,

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Speaker 1: most of them would have like East Coast or West coast,

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Speaker 1: like slick, you know, cosmopolitan accents. And Joseph Stalin be

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Speaker 1: talking like they is like a deep set, like like

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Speaker 1: a like a sharp out of bail Oklahoma. Act sing. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: he's like actually from Georgia. Yeah yeah, yeah, no, actually

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Speaker 1: that's that. I shouldn't used that Oklahoma. Yeah, that's funny. Wow.

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Speaker 1: He was the son of a shoe cobbler in the

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Speaker 1: Georgia in town of Gory. His father was a drunk

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Speaker 1: and beat the ship out of him. His mother Kiki

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Speaker 1: or k k K is how it's usually spelled kept

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Speaker 1: the peace, but not all that well because she also

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Speaker 1: beat the ship out of her. Um. Yeah, this is

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Speaker 1: a really dark version of that Adam Sandler movie about

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Speaker 1: being a shoe cobbler. Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's it's actually

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Speaker 1: less dark because Sandler movie is devoid of soul. And

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Speaker 1: I'm just gonna pretend that Joseph Stalin's parents are Adam

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Speaker 1: Sandler and Jack and Jill. In my head, those are

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Speaker 1: his parents. Actually, just some deep Sandler cuts pulling out here.

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Speaker 1: Although when I start talking about Joseph Stalin, my mind

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Speaker 1: immediately goes to Adam Sandler. Sure, sure, shut out. That's

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Speaker 1: what he did every time he would sign an order

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Speaker 1: for execution forman exactly had a stroke at the end, right,

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Speaker 1: And that's actually what it sounded like, a lot of strokes. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: But people just assumed that he was okay because he

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Speaker 1: was such a Sandler fan, but he was actually just

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Speaker 1: having strokes. Since thank you, well, I'm not allegedly good person. Um.

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Speaker 1: Stalin's mom justified beating her son by saying she had

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Speaker 1: to quote govern her unruly treasure, which is like some

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Speaker 1: Norman Bates ship unruly treasures. It almost sends like how

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Speaker 1: you talk about trimming your pupid caret Absolutely have to

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Speaker 1: govern my unruly treasure, govern my unrulee Like she's always

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Speaker 1: looking at a giant bruch or a ring of some

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Speaker 1: kind when she's saying it her son off in the distance. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's definitely a sentence that you expect from a bruch wear.

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Speaker 1: She wore a cape every day. It's what that sentence

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Speaker 1: says to me as an adult. She told him the

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Speaker 1: beatings had done him no harm. Stalin insisted he had

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Speaker 1: a terrible childhood where he wept constantly, which is probably true,

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Speaker 1: probably something Stalin wasn't lying about. Um, it's a lot

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Speaker 1: of pressure being an unruly treasure. It's really a lot.

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Speaker 1: I just want to be a boy. So Joseph's dad

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Speaker 1: was out of the picture pretty quick, but he popped

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Speaker 1: in from time to time to insist that his son

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Speaker 1: take up the family trade of making shoes. Stalin did

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Speaker 1: not want to make shoes. He liked books like Sadam Hussein.

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Speaker 1: Um Kk realized that her boy was special and decided

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Speaker 1: that he should become a priest. Um because back then,

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Speaker 1: if you liked books, that was the default. Yeah. Hey, nerds. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: nobody was like, you should go to Hollywood. They were

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Speaker 1: like a priest. That's the gig for you. Go read

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Speaker 1: the book, the one book we allow. Yeah. Um. So

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Speaker 1: as a little kid, Stalin was successful in sort of

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Speaker 1: the low level children's gang warfare that was common in

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Speaker 1: his village. But when he hit yep, just classic children's

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Speaker 1: gang warfare, just good old late eighteen hundreds Russia. Um.

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Speaker 1: He had had a lessons though, and he stopped being

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Speaker 1: so successful because he was very short and suddenly was

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Speaker 1: less imposing. Other kids made fun of him because of

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Speaker 1: his small pox scars and his fucked up arm. His

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Speaker 1: left arm was two inches shorter than his right because

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Speaker 1: he'd been run over by a horse and buggy, which

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Speaker 1: is the most eighteen hundreds injury you can have. I

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Speaker 1: like that he's just like a like a Harold Lloyd

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Speaker 1: movie for the first eighteen years of his life. Basically,

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Speaker 1: that's amazing. Yeah, he's he's starting out rough. How do

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Speaker 1: you get rid of over by a horse and buggy? Yeah? You,

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Speaker 1: And I also would figure that you would specify either

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Speaker 1: the horse or the buggy hit you, but maybe he

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Speaker 1: got hit by both. Maybe, like all like four legs

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Speaker 1: and then four wheels. Yeah, so how does that make

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Speaker 1: your arm shorter? Is it just like it just guess

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Speaker 1: I just got like broken and it didn't grow right

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Speaker 1: something like that. Yeah. So I'm picturing that his parents

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Speaker 1: are Adam Sandler and Jack and Jill, and then he

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Speaker 1: is Chris Elliott from Scary Movie Too. You should really

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Speaker 1: get started on this screenplay perfect Like, it's a very

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Speaker 1: deep cut reference for five people that are listening. That's

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Speaker 1: who we do this podcast for. Um so. At age nine,

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Speaker 1: Stalin or Joseph at this point enrolled in a theological school.

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Speaker 1: He was devouted first and never missed a mass. Since

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Speaker 1: this was a religious school, most books were forbidden obviously uh,

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Speaker 1: and the teachers encouraged kids to write out their peers

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Speaker 1: for reading band literature. Stalin later admitted to writing out

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Speaker 1: a whole bunch of kids. So of course he loves

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Speaker 1: to snitch. Yeah, seeing seeds here, Joseph snitch Stalin okay uh.

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Speaker 1: At age thirteen, Joseph read a copy of Darwin's The

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Speaker 1: Origin of Species. He stayed up all night and told

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Speaker 1: KK his mom, I love the book so much, Mummy,

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Speaker 1: that I couldn't stop reading it Joseph decided that God

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Speaker 1: didn't exist, because if he did the world would be

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Speaker 1: more just. He dropped out of Jesus School at fourteen,

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Speaker 1: which horrified his mother. Fourteen, man, that's a man back then. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's true, Like most of you don't make it to fourteen.

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Speaker 1: Fourteen year old then has lived through most ship than

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Speaker 1: like a sixty year old today. Yeah, exactly, the haggard

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Speaker 1: staring off in the middle distance, thinking about all the

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Speaker 1: lives you've seen in all the horse and buggies have

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Speaker 1: been run over by Yeah. Um so now young and unemployed,

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Speaker 1: which is the thing fourteen year olds could be back then. Uh.

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Speaker 1: He wandered into a meeting for his local Bolshevik party. Uh,

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Speaker 1: so he started being a Bolsheviks seemed to like that.

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Speaker 1: He got a job at an observatory in eighteen nine.

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Speaker 1: It was part time, so he was able to keep

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Speaker 1: up his revolutionary ways. He spent a lot of time

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Speaker 1: reading Napoleon's memoirs, and he told his friends that he

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Speaker 1: planned to learn from Napoleon's mistakes, which is a normal

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Speaker 1: thing for a like sixteen year old to tell his friends.

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Speaker 1: I mean, what an intense kid, can you imagine? Just

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Speaker 1: like oh, I stayed up all night reading Darwin and

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Speaker 1: I love Napoleon God. Okay, Stalin, this is I think

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Speaker 1: the most I'm actually of a person that you could

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Speaker 1: be at sixteen. If he was alive today, the first

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Speaker 1: sentence out of his mouth and any given conversation would

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Speaker 1: be that he didn't own a TV. Would be that guy.

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Speaker 1: Oh boy. Um, he would have the same mustache though,

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, definitely a lot more flannel. Yeah, so much flannel. Um.

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Speaker 1: Stalin or Joseph got a job working at an oil

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Speaker 1: refinery storehouse. Working conditions there were exactly what you'd expect

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Speaker 1: of bizarist oil refinery. So that's what you're saying, up

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Speaker 1: to code, and that code was not a thing. Um.

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Speaker 1: So Stalin was pissed that the workers were suffering and

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Speaker 1: toiling to make in his meat while the wealthy lived

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Speaker 1: in mansions and got to go to parties all the time,

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Speaker 1: which is totally understandable. I'm on board at this point.

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Speaker 1: I like that he organized protests. The protesters clashed violently

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Speaker 1: with police, and suddenly Stalin had to go on the run. Um.

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Speaker 1: He was arrested in nineteen o two and sent to Siberia,

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Speaker 1: which sounds like the worst thing that could happen to you. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: From I'm listening to another thing about rashputiness from Siberia

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Speaker 1: and everything they say about the area, I'm like, it

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Speaker 1: apparently wasn't that bad, Okay, because it wasn't He wasn't

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Speaker 1: sent to you getting to get sent to a prison

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Speaker 1: in Siberia. Just just got sent to a little town

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Speaker 1: in the middle of nowhere. And they gave you money

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Speaker 1: every month. That was what when they when they exiled you,

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Speaker 1: That's what they did, is they were just like, go

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Speaker 1: live in the middle of nowhere. Here's some money, so

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Speaker 1: you don't starve. Can I get excited? Yeah? I kind

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Speaker 1: of feel like that's a sweet gig. That sounds pretty

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Speaker 1: Can I just piss off the president enough that I

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Speaker 1: get to live somewhere else? Send me somewhere else and

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Speaker 1: give me I don't care if it's cold, it's getting

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Speaker 1: really hot, and though global warming is real, because it'll

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Speaker 1: be like a nice seventy by that time I get there, exactly.

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Speaker 1: Um So yeah, for the rest of his life, this

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Speaker 1: is like one of, if not the very best periods

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Speaker 1: of time in Stalin's whole life. He would talk about

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Speaker 1: it for the rest of his days. He would constantly

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Speaker 1: tell people a story about skiing into the Tiger, shooting

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Speaker 1: a dozen partridges, and then almost freezing to death on

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Speaker 1: his trip back. Stalin would brag about the time he

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Speaker 1: shot twelve birds and nearly died, even after he'd beat

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Speaker 1: Nazi Germany and conquered a fifth of the world, which

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Speaker 1: is weird. Wow, now he's really that that middle lot

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Speaker 1: to him? Yeah, yeah, I really had other things to

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Speaker 1: brag about by that point. Yeah, I mean well yeah. Uh.

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Speaker 1: Fast forward seven, Joseph was twenty nine and had grown

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Speaker 1: an influence among the Bolshevik party. Lenin came to see

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Speaker 1: him as the kind of guy who could all caps

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Speaker 1: get ship done. At this point, the bolshep X, We're

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Speaker 1: still fighting to overthrow the czar and it was not

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Speaker 1: going well. They were broke and they needed money for

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Speaker 1: more bombs to throw at the Zar's. Uh. Stalin was like,

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Speaker 1: I can get you some fucking money. His preferred method

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Speaker 1: of achieving this goal was a good old fashioned bank heist.

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Speaker 1: Stalin sat down with his boy Camo, which is what

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Speaker 1: you'd expect from the name of a guy you robbed

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Speaker 1: banks with, to figure out a plan. Uh. Stalin made

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Speaker 1: contact with the pro Bolshevik worker at a bank in Tifflis,

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Speaker 1: where he lived, who told him that a bunch of

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Speaker 1: money was due to arrive on June. So Stalin, Camo

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Speaker 1: and their fellow desperadoes all showed up at Yerevan Square

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Speaker 1: downtown to wait for the stage coach. It arrived at

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Speaker 1: ten thirty am, and they just started throwing grenades and

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Speaker 1: bombs all over the place like that was there, that

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Speaker 1: was their just throw bombs at everyone. So they made

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Speaker 1: off with the money, which was about three or four

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Speaker 1: million in modern dollars, and they killed forty or fifty people. Yeah, well, yeah,

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Speaker 1: it won't be the last time. No, no, this actually

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Speaker 1: counts as charity by the rest of Stalin's record, Yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 1: So it turned out that most of the stolen bills

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Speaker 1: were in like gigantic five thousand ruble notes that had

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Speaker 1: never been used before, and those as government had records

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Speaker 1: of all of the serial numbers on those bills. So

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Speaker 1: most of the money that Stalin had killed like fifty

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Speaker 1: people for, wound up being useless. Kom bolsheviks um. But

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Speaker 1: he'd still prove that he could, you know, get shipped done.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't entirely a wash, but it was a bummer.

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Speaker 1: In nineteen o seven was also a bummer because it

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Speaker 1: was the year that Stalin's wife died. She passed in

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Speaker 1: December from some illness or another. Knowing nineteen o seven,

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Speaker 1: it might have been like a stubbed toe that exactly

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Speaker 1: went bear shaped, and assuming she was fourteen, and she

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Speaker 1: said I've seen enough. Yeah, I've lived too long already,

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Speaker 1: even five children. It's time for me to leave. Stalin

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Speaker 1: claimed that quote with her died, my last feelings for humanity,

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Speaker 1: you can read that is super prophetic. But he wound

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Speaker 1: up falling madly in love again and remarrying, So he's

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Speaker 1: probably just being dramatic. I think he's just a very

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Speaker 1: dramatic person because he was told that he was a

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Speaker 1: ungovernable treasure. What was the quote was unruly treasure and

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Speaker 1: unruly treasure. Yes, an unruly treasure. And he's just like

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Speaker 1: that's the line that he used as a young twenty

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Speaker 1: something on women. And he'd be like, look, honey, I'm

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Speaker 1: just I'm just an unruly treasure. I could see it working, No,

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Speaker 1: especially with that mustache. No, and he's he we should

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Speaker 1: pull Okay, you've seen the young. He was a good

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Speaker 1: looking guy, Yes he was. He was a little Viti guy,

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Speaker 1: but he was a good looking guy. Exactly. No, he

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Speaker 1: had the charm, which believe, which is like, here's the thing,

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Speaker 1: I don't trust people that have always been attractive, and

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Speaker 1: this is the most exactly what percent of the time

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Speaker 1: they turned out to be stalid Exactly. I've seen that

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Speaker 1: guy at so many overpriced bars. You know, he's got

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Speaker 1: like a kefia on and like, yeah, he's just he's

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Speaker 1: sitting in the back of the coffee house. Maybe he's

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Speaker 1: got a guitar. Just always oh, what's see this, We'll

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Speaker 1: see this, just the effects of French accent, even though

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Speaker 1: he was born in Milwaukee. Exactly. Yeah, we all know

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Speaker 1: Stalin of a person Barret per Okay. So Stalin's career

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Speaker 1: kept lurching forward. He charmed Lennon, He wrote a bunch

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Speaker 1: of articles for Pravda. In May of nineteen twelve, Joseph

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Speaker 1: Jugos Feely became the editor at Pravda, which is, you know,

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Speaker 1: big old Bolshevik magazine. The next year he started to

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Speaker 1: use a noum revolution instead of Jugos Filly. He called

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Speaker 1: himself Stalin. We're steel so Joseph Steele. Yeah, I'm Joe Steele.

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Speaker 1: Is there a modern porn star whose name is Joseph Steele?

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Speaker 1: Because it feels like somebody is like, if it's not

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Speaker 1: untapped market, Yeah, untapped market to be tapped by Joseph

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Speaker 1: Steele's tapper. Come on, somebody tap that. Yeah, we're given

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Speaker 1: out a name here. While Stalin was so World War

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Speaker 1: One came in nineteen fourteen, had a big deal, didn't

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Speaker 1: go well for Zars to Russia didn't did not. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know the rest of the story. The Zar gets

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Speaker 1: overthrow in the nineteen seventeen there's a big st civil

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Speaker 1: war and the Bolsheviks wind up in charge. Lennen rules

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Speaker 1: for a while, then he dies, and then through a

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Speaker 1: combination of cunning and murder, Stalin's in charge by uh

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Speaker 1: he shared power with a group of magnates. He wasn't

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Speaker 1: an absolute ruler at this point. The magnates were powerful

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Speaker 1: political leaders who ruled over various aspects of the Soviet state.

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Speaker 1: These are the guys that the death of Stalin. The

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Speaker 1: movie focuses around, guys like Malinkov and and Khrushchev cabinet.

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Speaker 1: For lack of a better yeah, yeah, that's a good

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Speaker 1: term for them. Um, these guys were mostly young at

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Speaker 1: this point in their thirties and mostly self educated. They

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Speaker 1: all lived together in the same buildings in Moscow. They

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Speaker 1: worked and feasted and partied together. And friends, Yeah, they

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Speaker 1: were all. They were mostly friends. They all like had

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Speaker 1: had like sometimes a couple of like wives and girlfriends

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Speaker 1: in common. Um, they would all hang out all the time.

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Speaker 1: You know, Stalin would just drop by to like talk

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Speaker 1: to people about things. Stalin is the Phoebe of this group.

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Speaker 1: I was going to say, Rachel, Well yeah, probably actually Rachel.

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Speaker 1: I just feel like Stalin would run like an idiot.

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Speaker 1: And also like, if Stalin had ended up with a

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Speaker 1: Paul Rudd, the world would have been a better place. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's that's unquestionable. Sure, exactly, really weird movies, but probably

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Speaker 1: Paul Rud would have taken like a turn for the

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Speaker 1: art house cinema. But yeah, yeah, exactly, yeah, okay. Um,

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Speaker 1: So Stalin got married to his second wife, Nadia Alujeva

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Speaker 1: in nineteen nineteen. She bore him a son, Vassili, and

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Speaker 1: a daughter's Lana. Stalin seemed to love his wife, but

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Speaker 1: they were both busy, career focused people. He wrote her

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Speaker 1: sweet love letters, saying he was quote lonely as a

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Speaker 1: horned owl without her, and uh, signing them my kisses

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Speaker 1: your Joseph. Yeah, he's a sweet guy at this point.

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Speaker 1: He's a sweet guy at this point. He's killed a

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Speaker 1: lot more people by this Yes, they're starving peasants, by

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Speaker 1: by the hundreds of thousands, right, yes, you're correct, well,

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Speaker 1: by the thirties. Yeah, um, but he's a sweet guy

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Speaker 1: to his friends. Uh exactly. Stalin had also turned into

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Speaker 1: a sex symbol at this point, though, by the time

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Speaker 1: he's in charge, and that did not help his marriage.

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Speaker 1: The Wonderful Book in the Court of the Red Zar

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Speaker 1: describes one of the letters he got from a female admirer,

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Speaker 1: a teacher. Dear Comrade Stalin, I saw you in my dreams.

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Speaker 1: I have hopes of an audience. I enclosed my photograph.

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Speaker 1: Damn girl, Stalin replied, comrade unfamiliar. I ask you to

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Speaker 1: trust that I have no wish to disappoint you, and

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Speaker 1: I'm ready to respect your letter. But I have to

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Speaker 1: say I have no appointment, no time to satisfy your wish.

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Speaker 1: I wish you all the best. Jay Stalin ps your

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Speaker 1: letter and photograph returned. Wow. I mean that's the most

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Speaker 1: proper way of it's actually he let somebody down. He's handled, actually,

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Speaker 1: Joseph Stalin, and this is handled being hit on by

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Speaker 1: a young woman better than most modern American politicians. Absolutely.

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Speaker 1: This is also like the first Tinder is what just happened?

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Speaker 1: He swiped right? Yeah, exactly, no, thank you, and he

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00:17:52,359 --> 00:17:55,560
Speaker 1: did swipe left on a number of ladies. It's not

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Speaker 1: absolutely confirmed, but there's a lot of circumstantial evidence and

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Speaker 1: that and that Ada his wife was very angry about

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Speaker 1: some of that, you know, and maybe it wasn't true,

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00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:06,840
Speaker 1: but she just suspected it. But either way, she thought

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00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:09,800
Speaker 1: he was fooling around and she was pissed. When you

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Speaker 1: got that kind of ego, I assume you probably are

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Speaker 1: messing around. One woman isn't going to do it for you. No, no,

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Speaker 1: when not when you're the dictator of all Russia. Now,

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Speaker 1: when we get back, we're going to talk about the

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Speaker 1: dinner party that led to the end of Joseph Stalin's marriage, Yes,

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Speaker 1: and then we're going to get into Joseph Stalin's growing madness,

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Speaker 1: his wacky everything is is. We're just going to talk

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Speaker 1: more Stalin and coming up. We also have a whole

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Speaker 1: lot of drinking, a whole lot of partying, a whole

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Speaker 1: lot of vomiting, and what I'm just going to describe

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Speaker 1: as Joe stall pulling a chainey oh, all right, and more.

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Speaker 1: After sweet Lady Capitalism sings you her lilting lullaby welcome back,

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Speaker 1: we are talking about Joseph Stalin and his troubled marriage

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Speaker 1: to not Yet. At this point, Joseph Stalin is the

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Speaker 1: sexy leader of the New Soviet Union. Uh not yet

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Speaker 1: and he are very much in love, except she thinks

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Speaker 1: he's cheating on her, and things come to a head

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00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:22,480
Speaker 1: at one banquet in nineteen thirty two. Oh she was

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Speaker 1: also angry at him for starving hundreds of thousands of

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Speaker 1: peasants to death, which is a fair fair Stalin. You

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Speaker 1: you know, we've all been there with a partner where

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Speaker 1: like you think they might be cheating on you and

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Speaker 1: they're starving the Ukraine. Well, it's like when you make

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Speaker 1: that pros and cons list of like trying to really

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Speaker 1: break down of this relationship, has you know, has the

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Speaker 1: legs to stand forever, and you're like, okay, I mean

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Speaker 1: really he bought me flowers but he's starved a lot

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Speaker 1: of starved three and a half to four million peasants. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's rough. It's rough. So that's where their relationship is. Uh.

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Speaker 1: There at this big party, everybody's drinking heavily, and Stalin

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Speaker 1: had not noticed that Nadia had dressed up for the event.

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Speaker 1: She wasn't a girly girl and she didn't dress up often,

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Speaker 1: so it was a big deal that he didn't notice it.

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00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:12,359
Speaker 1: Stalin did eventually notice that Nadia wasn't drinking. I'm going

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Speaker 1: to quote here from in the Court of the Red Czar.

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Speaker 1: Why aren't you drinking? He called over, truculently, aware that

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Speaker 1: she and Bukaran shared a disapproval of his starvation of

380
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Speaker 1: the peasantry, She ignored him. To get her attention, Stalin

381
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:25,720
Speaker 1: tossed an orange peel and flicked cigarettes at her. But

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00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:30,959
Speaker 1: this outraged her, which of course it did, which she

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00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:34,280
Speaker 1: became angrier and angrier. He called over, Hey, you have

384
00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:38,120
Speaker 1: a drink. My name isn't hey? She read toward it furiously.

385
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:40,360
Speaker 1: Rising from the table, she stormed out, it was probably

386
00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:42,960
Speaker 1: now that, but Yanni, which is one of these magnates,

387
00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:45,959
Speaker 1: heard her shout at Stalin shut up. Shut up. Stalin

388
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:48,399
Speaker 1: shook his head in the ensuing silence. What a fool,

389
00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:53,360
Speaker 1: he muttered. Wow. Yeah, so she shot herself later that night.

390
00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:57,879
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Yeah, nobody really knows why. Yeah, it's a bummer.

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Speaker 1: It's a really sad story. Man, that's a girl I

392
00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:02,760
Speaker 1: would like wanted to hear her, like getting her groove

393
00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:05,159
Speaker 1: back movie. It's like the movie that's that's the one

394
00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:08,280
Speaker 1: we deserve. No, we do not get that movie. Um,

395
00:21:08,359 --> 00:21:12,320
Speaker 1: we we don't get anything like that movie. Nobody knows

396
00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:14,280
Speaker 1: why she did it. There's a bunch of theories, but

397
00:21:14,359 --> 00:21:18,960
Speaker 1: it broke stolid. There's no evidence of it. Yeah. Um.

398
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Speaker 1: He threatened to kill himself a bunch of times. When

399
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Speaker 1: Nadia's mother showed up, like while the body was still

400
00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:25,359
Speaker 1: in the house, one of the doctors offered her some

401
00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:28,240
Speaker 1: Valerian drops, which you're supposed to like calm you down

402
00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:30,960
Speaker 1: and like help you not freak out when the worst

403
00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:33,639
Speaker 1: thing ever is happening. She said she couldn't drink them,

404
00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:35,760
Speaker 1: and so Stalin grabbed the bottle and chugged them all

405
00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:39,920
Speaker 1: down himself. Um. He insisted his wife's suicide had crippled him,

406
00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:42,200
Speaker 1: and he did change after that. Prior to her suicide.

407
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Speaker 1: The Soviet Union, like I said, had been starving a

408
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Speaker 1: lot of people. But life in Moscow among the magnates

409
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:49,080
Speaker 1: and their families had been wonderful in many ways. Nadya

410
00:21:49,119 --> 00:21:51,800
Speaker 1: suicide started the terror that followed. Where he's just killing

411
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Speaker 1: all these people who were close to him because he

412
00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:58,080
Speaker 1: kills most of her family. Oh yeah, yeah, over over

413
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Speaker 1: a course of years. But he butchers most of her family.

414
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Speaker 1: He butchers most of his first wife's family. I mean,

415
00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:05,520
Speaker 1: not really how the you should keep the memories? Not

416
00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:10,400
Speaker 1: really know. Most grief counselors recommend against massacring the families

417
00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:12,359
Speaker 1: of your dead spouse. I mean, no mother in law's

418
00:22:12,359 --> 00:22:16,040
Speaker 1: can be at pain in the ass, But I wish

419
00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:21,720
Speaker 1: I could do that. Yeah, um so uh. Stalin's friend

420
00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:24,760
Speaker 1: Nikita Krushchev, who took over after him, said that Stalin

421
00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:27,119
Speaker 1: was a different man at different times. I knew no

422
00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:30,080
Speaker 1: less than five or six Stalin's. At one point, Joseph

423
00:22:30,119 --> 00:22:32,399
Speaker 1: Stalin got angry at his son Vassily for using the

424
00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:35,199
Speaker 1: name Stalin. He said, but I'm a Stalin too, and

425
00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:37,760
Speaker 1: Stalin said, no, you're not. You're not Stalin, and I'm

426
00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:41,199
Speaker 1: not Stalin. Stalin is Soviet power. Stalin is what he

427
00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:43,679
Speaker 1: is in the newspapers and the portraits, not you know,

428
00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:47,560
Speaker 1: not even me. Wow. Yeah, he's like very self aware

429
00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:50,959
Speaker 1: of the thing that he's created. He would have been

430
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:54,800
Speaker 1: great at marketing. He would have been terrifying at market yea.

431
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:59,320
Speaker 1: He would have been Don Draper times a thousand. Yeah, exactly,

432
00:22:59,359 --> 00:23:02,600
Speaker 1: just as a trap, like just as attractive. Yeah, a

433
00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:05,320
Speaker 1: very similar character. Actually who I like, had a wife,

434
00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:07,560
Speaker 1: cheated on her, a whole bunch, drank a bunch, like,

435
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:10,359
Speaker 1: doesn't go by his real name. All right. Yeah, it's

436
00:23:10,359 --> 00:23:16,040
Speaker 1: actually kind of weird how close those guys backstories are. Um.

437
00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:18,919
Speaker 1: Stalin was also described as very charming. He could be

438
00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:21,320
Speaker 1: graceful and sensitive. People love to be around him. He

439
00:23:21,359 --> 00:23:24,440
Speaker 1: was good with kids, and he could really read a room. Uh.

440
00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:27,000
Speaker 1: There's one story about a court singer who was performing

441
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:29,640
Speaker 1: in the Kremlin. Stalin's colleagues each started demanding he's singing

442
00:23:29,680 --> 00:23:32,200
Speaker 1: different songs, and Stalin said, but I'm saying what he wants,

443
00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:34,600
Speaker 1: and then added, I think he wants to sing Lindsay's

444
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:38,560
Speaker 1: Aria from on again. Everybody laughed. Although it's not really

445
00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:42,360
Speaker 1: a request. Stalin I was going to do Red Red

446
00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:46,159
Speaker 1: wine first said okay um. Stalin seemed to have a

447
00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:49,360
Speaker 1: genuine joy for manipulating people. In nineteen thirteen, while hiding

448
00:23:49,359 --> 00:23:51,520
Speaker 1: out in Vienna, he gave the daughter of the woman

449
00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:54,240
Speaker 1: hosting him a bag of candy every day. After a while,

450
00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:56,080
Speaker 1: he asked the kid's mother who she thought the child

451
00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:58,240
Speaker 1: would run to if they both called her. They both

452
00:23:58,240 --> 00:24:00,960
Speaker 1: tried it, and the girl ran to Stalin, Oh yeah,

453
00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:03,639
Speaker 1: which is like, that's a messed up power move from

454
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:08,800
Speaker 1: the lady who's yeah exactly, And also just like why

455
00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:13,159
Speaker 1: just to be a dick? Yeah, why do you want this? Okay? Cool? Great, cool?

456
00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:15,119
Speaker 1: Now this kid likes you better than it's mom, and

457
00:24:15,119 --> 00:24:18,800
Speaker 1: you're gonna leave, And then his daughters like, where's my candy? Man?

458
00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:21,600
Speaker 1: He's just he's a bad dude. This is crossing my line.

459
00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:24,359
Speaker 1: That is crossing a line. Uh. He could be really

460
00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:28,240
Speaker 1: funny and pithy. He was also incredibly foul mouthed when

461
00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:31,480
Speaker 1: his friend Voroshilov gave a speech that Staln liked. Staln

462
00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:35,000
Speaker 1: sent Vos a note that said, a world leader, fuck

463
00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:38,359
Speaker 1: his mother. I've read your report. You criticized everyone, fuck

464
00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:45,960
Speaker 1: their mother, Joseph Stalin. Everybody def jam Stalin just drop

465
00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:50,720
Speaker 1: an FT bombs all over. I'd love to hear his

466
00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:54,840
Speaker 1: version of the aristocrats. His whole time in power was

467
00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:56,639
Speaker 1: his version of the aristocrat. That was those were his

468
00:24:56,800 --> 00:25:03,520
Speaker 1: last words, absolutely aristocrats. That's how that jokes started. Like

469
00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:09,119
Speaker 1: this is the darkest jokes. He really mean it went far,

470
00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:12,040
Speaker 1: but no, no, no, Stalin died and Bob Saget in

471
00:25:12,119 --> 00:25:15,080
Speaker 1: America just like feels something stands up and just starts

472
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:19,320
Speaker 1: with slow applause. Just like that was game respects game

473
00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:22,840
Speaker 1: um as I said, Stalin was great with kids. He

474
00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:25,359
Speaker 1: would entertain them by throwing orange peels and wine corks

475
00:25:25,359 --> 00:25:27,160
Speaker 1: into their ice cream and dis guts into their teeth.

476
00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:31,119
Speaker 1: He loves throwing orange peels. I mean, I guess like

477
00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:33,919
Speaker 1: probably oranges are like a sign of wealth because like

478
00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:36,159
Speaker 1: everyone in Russia, I assume probably has scurvy at this

479
00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:39,840
Speaker 1: pain or he's killed them. So it's just like, oh yeah,

480
00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:43,359
Speaker 1: I'm just throwing the peels around cares. I do feel

481
00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:45,879
Speaker 1: that that's like the happiest Stalin ever is is just

482
00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:49,320
Speaker 1: throwing orange peels at people. Exactly. He just needed more

483
00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:52,480
Speaker 1: orange peels. Just keep oranges around him, please, He's gonna

484
00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:56,040
Speaker 1: throw him at you. It's fine not signing death list

485
00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:58,560
Speaker 1: when he's throwing orange peels. Seriously, just let him do it.

486
00:25:58,680 --> 00:26:00,840
Speaker 1: He just wanted to be a juggle are really bad lace.

487
00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:03,280
Speaker 1: He always had like round fruit around him at all time,

488
00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:06,280
Speaker 1: but he was his hands were too hard from all

489
00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:10,320
Speaker 1: the hard work and the in the oil rigs. He

490
00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:12,600
Speaker 1: would break the oranges and bruise them and that's why

491
00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:15,200
Speaker 1: he would throw them at people. We really really thought

492
00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:17,840
Speaker 1: this out. Yeah, you know. He was said to have

493
00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:21,639
Speaker 1: perfect pitch, a rare and sweet voice. Some of his

494
00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:23,760
Speaker 1: friends said that if he hadn't become a dictator, he

495
00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:27,440
Speaker 1: could have been a career singer. Well, but here's the thing, Uh,

496
00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:31,480
Speaker 1: if that wasn't true, you wouldn't say it. Well, I

497
00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:33,280
Speaker 1: think that some of this came out by people who

498
00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:35,520
Speaker 1: knew him after he was dead, and people are starting

499
00:26:35,560 --> 00:26:37,719
Speaker 1: to say, like, it's one of those things that I

500
00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:40,040
Speaker 1: don't think is just people blown up. He was just

501
00:26:40,119 --> 00:26:42,680
Speaker 1: really good at Like Miles um one of the many

502
00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:45,520
Speaker 1: things that our friend Miles Gray from the Daily Zeitgeist

503
00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:50,440
Speaker 1: as in common with Justin Stalin um cool. He's also

504
00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:57,240
Speaker 1: an unruly treasure. So from my point of view, Stalin's

505
00:26:57,280 --> 00:26:59,679
Speaker 1: real talent, though came as a captioneer. I have some

506
00:26:59,720 --> 00:27:01,280
Speaker 1: base is to judge this, since it used to be

507
00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:03,000
Speaker 1: my job to write all the article captions on the

508
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:06,320
Speaker 1: Little Pictures and Cracked articles. Stalin did basically the same thing,

509
00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:08,960
Speaker 1: but to artworks that would be submitted to him for approval.

510
00:27:09,359 --> 00:27:11,960
Speaker 1: And we're going to look at some of those. Hell yeah,

511
00:27:12,359 --> 00:27:15,320
Speaker 1: he's like he invented tinder and memes, is what you're

512
00:27:15,359 --> 00:27:18,840
Speaker 1: telling me? Kinda yeah, it wouldn't be unfair to say

513
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:22,399
Speaker 1: Stalin was a meme pioneer. This is from an article

514
00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:25,520
Speaker 1: called Stalin's Vulgar Sense of Humor on smart History blog.

515
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:29,639
Speaker 1: The actual origin of these pictures is from a Telegraph article,

516
00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:32,760
Speaker 1: I think, but this blog actually put them out the best.

517
00:27:32,880 --> 00:27:35,480
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna hand you this, and I want you

518
00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:38,240
Speaker 1: to go through each picture and describe the picture, and

519
00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:40,800
Speaker 1: then read the caption. If you guys want to follow

520
00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:42,840
Speaker 1: along with the pictures, the links and stuff are on

521
00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:46,320
Speaker 1: the website. The first one here, I'll describe it. It

522
00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:49,879
Speaker 1: looks like it's a naked man with his butts just

523
00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:53,000
Speaker 1: out the shadow of a ball underneath. He's got his

524
00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:54,639
Speaker 1: hand up over his head and he's like leaning against

525
00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:56,920
Speaker 1: the wall as if he just like bombed at audition.

526
00:27:57,080 --> 00:27:59,960
Speaker 1: I live in Los Angeles, and the the caption said,

527
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:04,080
Speaker 1: as you need to work, not wank. Time for re education.

528
00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:12,480
Speaker 1: Jayceonlin science like he's science because if yeah exactly, Yeah yeah, man,

529
00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:16,399
Speaker 1: we get it. Your handwriting is everywhere because you're the

530
00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:20,680
Speaker 1: supreme leader. You need to work not wank. I think

531
00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:23,600
Speaker 1: he actually maybe didn't. That means that he mented like

532
00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:26,800
Speaker 1: the cat posters in an office, like the hanging there.

533
00:28:27,359 --> 00:28:29,480
Speaker 1: This is like a very vulgar version of that. I

534
00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:32,960
Speaker 1: was going to say the New Yorker, Yeah, yeah, that's here.

535
00:28:34,359 --> 00:28:36,239
Speaker 1: Oh that's great. Okay, the next one, man, he's got

536
00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:38,640
Speaker 1: a lot of naked These are all pictures of naked

537
00:28:38,640 --> 00:28:40,560
Speaker 1: men for some reasons. Okay, great, Yeah, this next one

538
00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:42,360
Speaker 1: is like it's a These are all like black and

539
00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:45,840
Speaker 1: white sketches. This next one is like a naked man.

540
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:48,640
Speaker 1: He's facing front this time. Um, he's got like a

541
00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:52,000
Speaker 1: beard and hair and a mustache, and he's like got

542
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:55,680
Speaker 1: his hands up as if he is playing baseball, but

543
00:28:56,760 --> 00:28:58,800
Speaker 1: it looks like a piece of bread or something. He's

544
00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:02,160
Speaker 1: probably holding onto a rat because Stalin has um, you know,

545
00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:05,880
Speaker 1: starved everybody, and then the caption is, why are you

546
00:29:05,920 --> 00:29:09,680
Speaker 1: so thin? Mikhail Ivanovich? Do some work on is um

547
00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:16,760
Speaker 1: is no work? Trimarxism, Jay Stalinism, of course is masturbation.

548
00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:23,080
Speaker 1: I get it. I mean he's not unfunny. No, he's not. No,

549
00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:25,480
Speaker 1: like these aren't These aren't bad, Joe. It's not like

550
00:29:25,480 --> 00:29:29,000
Speaker 1: a Mike Huckabee tweets. These are solid getting not the

551
00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:31,720
Speaker 1: most original, but solid. I like that he wrote. He

552
00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:36,080
Speaker 1: he with an exclamation point. That's adorable. That's that's kind

553
00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:38,320
Speaker 1: of cute. Like do you think they didn't think about

554
00:29:38,400 --> 00:29:41,440
Speaker 1: him just like in his office, just like, oh my god, one,

555
00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:44,800
Speaker 1: they're gonna love this. Where were these published or were

556
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:47,160
Speaker 1: these just like these just in the Soviet archives? The

557
00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:49,719
Speaker 1: Soviet archives got opened up like a twenty years ago

558
00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:52,200
Speaker 1: or something, and historians are still pouring through them, and

559
00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:54,800
Speaker 1: this is just something they found. So it's like pictures

560
00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:58,160
Speaker 1: of like Hitler's dead body. And then like all of these,

561
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:03,840
Speaker 1: Stalin captioned perfect, all right. This next one is a

562
00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:06,480
Speaker 1: naked couple and the woman is like on the ground

563
00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:08,400
Speaker 1: and the guy is standing above her with his hand

564
00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:10,520
Speaker 1: behind his head and scratching it as if what's going

565
00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:14,200
Speaker 1: on and the caption is idiot, you've completely forgotten what

566
00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:20,160
Speaker 1: to do. I mean, it's hilarious. That's great. He didn't

567
00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:22,760
Speaker 1: sign this one. He was just like, well, this one's obvious.

568
00:30:23,160 --> 00:30:26,720
Speaker 1: Nobody's gonna think anybody but Jay stall would write this exactly.

569
00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:30,920
Speaker 1: Oh man, okay. The next one is another naked man

570
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:33,800
Speaker 1: looking forward. Where did you get all these photos? And

571
00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:36,200
Speaker 1: it's just like from he has to approve these. So

572
00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:38,280
Speaker 1: these are art that Soviets have made that they want

573
00:30:38,280 --> 00:30:41,160
Speaker 1: to be able to publish, Like these are like paintings

574
00:30:41,160 --> 00:30:43,920
Speaker 1: and stuff. Oh, I see, I got it. They can't

575
00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:47,640
Speaker 1: go anywhere unless Stalin says yes, because he's the absolute ruler.

576
00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:49,880
Speaker 1: So this guy is just chilling on some boxes naked,

577
00:30:49,920 --> 00:30:51,880
Speaker 1: staring down at the ground and says, don't sit on

578
00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:55,040
Speaker 1: stones with your naked ass, go join comes some all

579
00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:59,200
Speaker 1: and rab fact workers university isn't quote, someone give this

580
00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:04,280
Speaker 1: guy underpan, Jay Stalin. I do imagine that as like

581
00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:10,720
Speaker 1: a little George Bush left. Yeah, he for sure. They

582
00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:13,120
Speaker 1: all have that same little laugh. Yeah. I think they're

583
00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:16,000
Speaker 1: so damn clever just because they're part of the illuminati.

584
00:31:17,480 --> 00:31:21,400
Speaker 1: These are so silly. Yeah, they're just ridiculous. Um, that's

585
00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:24,680
Speaker 1: probably good on those. Yeah, the underscrolling. Now, now the

586
00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:26,880
Speaker 1: podcast consists of me scrolling and looking at pictures of

587
00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:29,200
Speaker 1: naked men while you tell me about Stalin, So you know,

588
00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:32,920
Speaker 1: I mean, that's just for the listeners this podcast. That

589
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:36,640
Speaker 1: was always the vision. Um. So the Soviets were great

590
00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:39,640
Speaker 1: record keepers, which is why we have all this stuff. Um.

591
00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:42,120
Speaker 1: Often the notes that we would have from like their

592
00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:44,840
Speaker 1: meetings of the Pullet Burero would include doodles, and sometimes

593
00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:46,440
Speaker 1: Stalin would take out a crand to write on the

594
00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:49,080
Speaker 1: doodle of like a colleague as well. Uh. And so

595
00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:52,320
Speaker 1: there's apparently one drawing of the countries of the USSRS

596
00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:54,840
Speaker 1: finance minister at the time, hanging from a rope by

597
00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:58,479
Speaker 1: his genitals in the margins. Stalin wrote to all members

598
00:31:58,480 --> 00:32:01,200
Speaker 1: of the pullet Buro for his pres sends the name

599
00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:03,120
Speaker 1: of the guy who's the finance minister should be hung

600
00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:05,040
Speaker 1: by his balls. If they hold up, he should be

601
00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:07,040
Speaker 1: considered not guilty, as if in a court of law.

602
00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:09,360
Speaker 1: If they give way, he should be drowned in a river.

603
00:32:12,160 --> 00:32:17,240
Speaker 1: This guy, this guy. Yeah, boy, Well it's also funny

604
00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:21,320
Speaker 1: because it's like the feminist response to um burning witches.

605
00:32:21,480 --> 00:32:24,560
Speaker 1: It's a finance minister test. That is also a bullshit

606
00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:27,560
Speaker 1: We'll kill you either way? Sure, why not? Yeah? Yeah,

607
00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:29,560
Speaker 1: it's a whimsical, fun way to kill people. It is.

608
00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:32,520
Speaker 1: He was all about whimsy. Um. He also had an

609
00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:35,880
Speaker 1: explosive temper. Surprise. I'm quoting here from a fun book

610
00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:38,800
Speaker 1: called A Brotherhood of Tyrants, Manic depression, and Absolute Power.

611
00:32:39,400 --> 00:32:42,320
Speaker 1: Stalin became known for violence when he was a young revolutionary,

612
00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:46,920
Speaker 1: which yeah, goes hand in hand. Yeah. Generally he would

613
00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:49,280
Speaker 1: lose control during arguments with party members, cursing them and

614
00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:52,400
Speaker 1: throwing objects such as stools, which Steve Balmer, the former

615
00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:55,360
Speaker 1: CEO of Microsoft, love to do. Quote. When he was

616
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:58,280
Speaker 1: married to his first wife, Kato, Stalin's brutality was witnessed

617
00:32:58,280 --> 00:33:00,440
Speaker 1: by a man with whom they were living. Um, that's

618
00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:02,560
Speaker 1: what he is. Kato was pregnant then, and he used

619
00:33:02,600 --> 00:33:04,680
Speaker 1: to curse her in the most disgusting way and kick

620
00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:09,040
Speaker 1: her in the belly. Yeah. Yeah, did you go from Yeah?

621
00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:10,880
Speaker 1: Did he have any kids with the first with the

622
00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:13,880
Speaker 1: first wife one? Okay, yeah, you never hear about that one?

623
00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:15,520
Speaker 1: Yeah you never? I mean that one. That one wound

624
00:33:15,640 --> 00:33:20,760
Speaker 1: up dying in a Nazi concentration camp. Oh that's that's why. Yes, yeah,

625
00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:25,960
Speaker 1: um so Uh. During a second marriage to Nadya, Stalin

626
00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:27,920
Speaker 1: was known to throw food out the window if he

627
00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:30,320
Speaker 1: was bored with it. He'd slam his phone against the

628
00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:32,880
Speaker 1: wall if it gave him a busy signal. Stalin's rage

629
00:33:32,920 --> 00:33:36,640
Speaker 1: was often bafflingly mundane. Uh. Quote when he found a

630
00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:39,280
Speaker 1: large mirror in his new Kremlin apartment, he said, what's

631
00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:41,600
Speaker 1: a mirror here for? And kicked it to pieces. Oh

632
00:33:41,640 --> 00:33:45,520
Speaker 1: my god, what a baby, What a stupid tantrum baby,

633
00:33:45,640 --> 00:33:49,880
Speaker 1: change your diaper, Stalin. Jesus. Yeah, Stalin could go from

634
00:33:49,880 --> 00:33:51,240
Speaker 1: being your best buddy to wanting you dead in a

635
00:33:51,280 --> 00:33:54,960
Speaker 1: moment's notice. Yeah, there's another quote from a relative tyrant's uh,

636
00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:56,959
Speaker 1: No amount of friendship and loyalty was enough to win

637
00:33:56,960 --> 00:34:00,320
Speaker 1: the dictator's trust. Um. The book here is quoting his

638
00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:02,760
Speaker 1: daughter's fet Lana, who said the past ceased to exist

639
00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:05,280
Speaker 1: for him. Years of friendship and fighting side by side

640
00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:07,120
Speaker 1: and a common cause might as well have never been

641
00:34:07,160 --> 00:34:09,840
Speaker 1: difficult as it is to understand. He could wipe it

642
00:34:09,920 --> 00:34:12,279
Speaker 1: all out with one stroke. So you've betrayed me, some

643
00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:14,520
Speaker 1: inter demon would whisper, I don't even know you anymore.

644
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:18,960
Speaker 1: So that's his daughter describing daddy. That's a that's some

645
00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:21,560
Speaker 1: daddy issues to deal with. Yeah. Yeah, it's one of

646
00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:23,640
Speaker 1: those things that makes me discount. I always just assume

647
00:34:23,680 --> 00:34:26,960
Speaker 1: Staling was like a cold heartless sociopath. Um, and I

648
00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:29,400
Speaker 1: don't think that anymore because it seems like like his

649
00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:32,440
Speaker 1: murdering his wife's families, like it's he's just he can't

650
00:34:32,480 --> 00:34:34,840
Speaker 1: deal with emotion. So he thinks about his wife and

651
00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:36,840
Speaker 1: gets sad, and then he like sees someone who was

652
00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:38,080
Speaker 1: related to her and he's like, well, what if I

653
00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:41,560
Speaker 1: just get rid of him? Yeah, he hulk smashes everything. Yeah,

654
00:34:41,560 --> 00:34:44,160
Speaker 1: he and it's like fits of peakue that he does

655
00:34:44,200 --> 00:34:48,200
Speaker 1: all this in with time, sometimes he would regret doing

656
00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:51,200
Speaker 1: terrible things to people. It wasn't uncommon for him to

657
00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:53,399
Speaker 1: calm down and come to regret a purge. I'm gonna

658
00:34:53,440 --> 00:34:56,000
Speaker 1: quote here from in the quarter of the Red Czar Uh.

659
00:34:56,040 --> 00:34:57,880
Speaker 1: Once he wandered up to one of his marshals who

660
00:34:57,920 --> 00:34:59,960
Speaker 1: had been arrested and released. I heard you were recent

661
00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:02,839
Speaker 1: lee in confinement. Yes, comrade Stalin, I was, but they

662
00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:05,319
Speaker 1: figured out my case and released me. But how many

663
00:35:05,320 --> 00:35:08,880
Speaker 1: good and remarkable people perished there. Yes, mus Stalin thoughtfully,

664
00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:11,520
Speaker 1: we've lost a lot of good and remarkable people. Then

665
00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:13,160
Speaker 1: he walked out of the room and into the garden.

666
00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:15,439
Speaker 1: The quarters turned to the Marshal. What did you say

667
00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:18,400
Speaker 1: to comrade Stalin, demanded Malenkov, who always behaved like the

668
00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:22,560
Speaker 1: school prefect. Why Then Stalin reappeared holding a bouquet of roses,

669
00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:24,560
Speaker 1: which he presented to the Marshal as a weird sort

670
00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:29,040
Speaker 1: of apology. Man, just he's just an emotional toddler. Sorry,

671
00:35:29,080 --> 00:35:31,000
Speaker 1: I killed your friends and sent you to be tortured.

672
00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:35,200
Speaker 1: Here's some roses, there's some flowers. Yeah, I feel like

673
00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:38,560
Speaker 1: we're cool. I didn't take the thorns off because I

674
00:35:38,680 --> 00:35:41,680
Speaker 1: am still Stalin. He just is a is an unformed

675
00:35:41,719 --> 00:35:43,880
Speaker 1: person who wound up in charge of a whole country,

676
00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:46,000
Speaker 1: which is a thing that has never happened before since

677
00:35:49,239 --> 00:35:52,560
Speaker 1: could let something like that? What a bunch of idiots

678
00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:56,440
Speaker 1: these people were letting that kind of a guy, boy,

679
00:35:57,160 --> 00:36:00,400
Speaker 1: Um Stalin wasn't consistently an asshole. Is the story of

680
00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:02,040
Speaker 1: an old woman who crashed into his car in World

681
00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:04,520
Speaker 1: War Two because the roads were strewn with ruined German

682
00:36:04,520 --> 00:36:09,040
Speaker 1: tanks and equipment. She was terrified obviously, but he was like, no, no,

683
00:36:09,080 --> 00:36:11,480
Speaker 1: it's not your fault. It's the war. Everything sucks. Like,

684
00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:13,880
Speaker 1: just go get your car repaired. Everything's fine. Can you

685
00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:17,040
Speaker 1: imagine getting out of the car you're ending being like,

686
00:36:17,239 --> 00:36:20,200
Speaker 1: oh god, I knew I should have been looking at

687
00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:22,560
Speaker 1: my phone. We gotta do some ads. I'm gonna go

688
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:25,360
Speaker 1: read some ads, uh and sell you guys some things

689
00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:29,160
Speaker 1: and capitalize on your attention in a way that Stalin

690
00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:39,520
Speaker 1: would have hated. So if you hate Stalin by these products. Alright,

691
00:36:39,640 --> 00:36:44,760
Speaker 1: So we're back and we're talking about Joseph Stalin after dark,

692
00:36:45,120 --> 00:36:48,080
Speaker 1: and we are telling a tale right now of Stalin

693
00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:51,360
Speaker 1: on a visit to the front lines during World War two. Um,

694
00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:54,280
Speaker 1: mostly a pr thing, you know, getting pictured near the fronts.

695
00:36:54,320 --> 00:36:57,520
Speaker 1: People see that they're glorious. Leader is is, you know,

696
00:36:57,640 --> 00:37:01,479
Speaker 1: taking the fight to the Germans installed dub dubb dose

697
00:37:02,640 --> 00:37:10,160
Speaker 1: World War two? Uh? Okay, so um. During this visit

698
00:37:10,200 --> 00:37:11,799
Speaker 1: of the front lines, one of the nights they wind

699
00:37:11,880 --> 00:37:14,719
Speaker 1: up chilling at a peasant's house. Stalin like sleeps in

700
00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:17,680
Speaker 1: one of her spare bedrooms. It's mostly like a pr thing, Like, look,

701
00:37:17,719 --> 00:37:20,160
Speaker 1: he's so humble. Hitler's got all these bunkers. Stalin just

702
00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:22,600
Speaker 1: crashed into the ladies house. At the end of the visit.

703
00:37:22,640 --> 00:37:26,040
Speaker 1: He insisted on paying her for his stay, but he

704
00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:27,920
Speaker 1: couldn't figure out how much to pay her because he

705
00:37:27,960 --> 00:37:30,560
Speaker 1: hadn't handled money in decades and he had no cash,

706
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:33,400
Speaker 1: and because all of the people with him were good Bolsheviks,

707
00:37:33,440 --> 00:37:36,120
Speaker 1: none of them had cash either, so nobody had any

708
00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:42,399
Speaker 1: money to pay thee there's some oranges. During the same visit,

709
00:37:42,440 --> 00:37:44,240
Speaker 1: as he was driving home in his armored car, Stalin

710
00:37:44,280 --> 00:37:46,720
Speaker 1: and his whole motor kaid stopped because quote, he needed

711
00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:49,000
Speaker 1: to defecate. Uh. He got out of the car and

712
00:37:49,040 --> 00:37:52,239
Speaker 1: asked if the bushes had any land mines or unexploded

713
00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:55,000
Speaker 1: ordinance in them, and nobody knew, and they couldn't guarantee it,

714
00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:57,000
Speaker 1: and since it's Stalin, nobody was willing to say that.

715
00:37:57,080 --> 00:37:59,239
Speaker 1: So anyway, the Premier and Commander in chief of the

716
00:37:59,239 --> 00:38:01,319
Speaker 1: Red Army dropped trout, squatted in the road, and took

717
00:38:01,320 --> 00:38:04,439
Speaker 1: a ship in front of all of his men. Fun

718
00:38:04,480 --> 00:38:06,440
Speaker 1: little part of World War two to have gotten to see.

719
00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:08,040
Speaker 1: That's just great. Can you imagine that the army is

720
00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:11,920
Speaker 1: just like working back and be like, oh, it's the

721
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:16,400
Speaker 1: boss pooping in the road. Okay, glorious leader, this is

722
00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:20,239
Speaker 1: what we're doing now. Um. He was a guy with

723
00:38:20,280 --> 00:38:22,440
Speaker 1: weird priorities. At the height of the war, when he

724
00:38:22,480 --> 00:38:25,280
Speaker 1: had dozens of armies assembled to launch a massive assault

725
00:38:25,360 --> 00:38:28,399
Speaker 1: against the German lines, he decided that that was also

726
00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:31,920
Speaker 1: a good time to launch a massive nationwide song contest

727
00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:34,520
Speaker 1: to see who could create the new national anthem. I

728
00:38:34,520 --> 00:38:38,080
Speaker 1: mean there are Simon Cowell tendencies to this man. Yeah,

729
00:38:38,320 --> 00:38:40,919
Speaker 1: for sure, cowl ish figure, he could say, for sure.

730
00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:44,200
Speaker 1: Also a little guy. Also a little guy I've seen.

731
00:38:44,200 --> 00:38:48,799
Speaker 1: I've seen Simon Cowe. He wears real big heels. Why

732
00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:51,840
Speaker 1: just except that you're not tall. It's fine, it's fine.

733
00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:55,040
Speaker 1: It's more people should be little. It's fine. It's it's better.

734
00:38:55,080 --> 00:38:57,960
Speaker 1: It means you take up less resources, you're more ethical.

735
00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:04,640
Speaker 1: I'm horribly unethical. Uh okay. So the song contest led

736
00:39:04,680 --> 00:39:06,880
Speaker 1: to the Soviet national anthem we all know and love today.

737
00:39:07,160 --> 00:39:09,719
Speaker 1: It's objectively one of the coolest sounding anthems of all time,

738
00:39:09,719 --> 00:39:14,520
Speaker 1: regardless of your feelings on socialism. It's just it's intense. Uh.

739
00:39:14,520 --> 00:39:16,680
Speaker 1: Stalin was very happy about it. He threw a gigantic

740
00:39:16,680 --> 00:39:19,360
Speaker 1: party all of the magnates dressed up in ridiculous costumes

741
00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:22,720
Speaker 1: with gold braids and daggers and other nonsense. One foreigner

742
00:39:22,719 --> 00:39:24,640
Speaker 1: present said the Russians were as happy with their new

743
00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:26,520
Speaker 1: clothes as a little boy all dressed up in his

744
00:39:26,520 --> 00:39:30,640
Speaker 1: new Christmas present fireman suit. Um, he's more toddlers. Just yeah,

745
00:39:30,680 --> 00:39:32,879
Speaker 1: they're just a bunch of big kids who have a country. Now.

746
00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:37,080
Speaker 1: Like if you did the Muppet Baby's version of Stalin's USSR,

747
00:39:37,239 --> 00:39:39,719
Speaker 1: it would just be the exact same plot, but with

748
00:39:39,840 --> 00:39:45,080
Speaker 1: them in diapers. It's just emotional toddlers. So everybody got

749
00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:49,440
Speaker 1: outrageously drunk. The British ambassador quote fell flat on his

750
00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:52,080
Speaker 1: face onto a table covered with bottles and wine glasses

751
00:39:52,200 --> 00:39:55,960
Speaker 1: and cut himself. Uh. These quotes are all from in

752
00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:58,080
Speaker 1: the Court of the Red Czar, which is a wonderful book.

753
00:39:58,520 --> 00:40:00,759
Speaker 1: An American general, sadly and name showed up at the

754
00:40:00,760 --> 00:40:05,840
Speaker 1: party with two prostitutes. Uh. Stalin kept relatively sober um,

755
00:40:05,880 --> 00:40:08,279
Speaker 1: but after this this party was sort of like the

756
00:40:08,360 --> 00:40:10,560
Speaker 1: breaking point for that, and he started to drink more

757
00:40:10,680 --> 00:40:14,000
Speaker 1: once the risk of defeat was limited. You know, during

758
00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:16,520
Speaker 1: the early stages of World War Two, at most he

759
00:40:16,600 --> 00:40:18,960
Speaker 1: might put a little brandy in his tea after a

760
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:21,400
Speaker 1: major victory like the victory at stalin Grad, and he

761
00:40:21,560 --> 00:40:24,480
Speaker 1: kept sober because like the whole world was at stake.

762
00:40:24,840 --> 00:40:27,160
Speaker 1: Yeah for sure. Well, and he probably you know, saw

763
00:40:27,239 --> 00:40:29,640
Speaker 1: what the the way that the Czar and z Arena

764
00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:32,279
Speaker 1: handled themselves during World War One, and was like, Okay, well,

765
00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:34,680
Speaker 1: I really gotta get this one right. I've learned a

766
00:40:34,719 --> 00:40:39,000
Speaker 1: couple of writing on this whole World War thing exactly.

767
00:40:40,680 --> 00:40:44,680
Speaker 1: So he starts drinking again after in like forty three,

768
00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:48,080
Speaker 1: and uh, it becomes very clear that he is off

769
00:40:48,320 --> 00:40:51,719
Speaker 1: the wagon. In a December nineteen forty three visit by

770
00:40:51,800 --> 00:40:55,120
Speaker 1: Charles de Gal to Moscow is sort of the exiled

771
00:40:55,200 --> 00:40:58,200
Speaker 1: leader of France at this point, Uh, Stalin and Degal

772
00:40:58,280 --> 00:41:00,840
Speaker 1: had a disagreement over French recognition of the Polish government

773
00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:03,880
Speaker 1: in an exile. The negotiations stalled out, and Stalin decided

774
00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:06,440
Speaker 1: to get RiPP shit drunk. Uh. He got hammered and

775
00:41:06,440 --> 00:41:09,040
Speaker 1: then complained that Degal was awkward and clumsy and everyone

776
00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:12,440
Speaker 1: needed to drink more wine so that everything could straighten out. Um,

777
00:41:12,480 --> 00:41:15,280
Speaker 1: just having a drink, we'll just talk about we'll figure

778
00:41:15,280 --> 00:41:19,479
Speaker 1: this out. That's not how wine works. That's not how

779
00:41:19,760 --> 00:41:25,440
Speaker 1: geopolitics works, the fate of tens of millions. Uh So,

780
00:41:25,480 --> 00:41:29,200
Speaker 1: Stalin chugged champagne and took over the job of toasting

781
00:41:29,239 --> 00:41:32,200
Speaker 1: from Molotov, who was the actual diplomat. H He cheered

782
00:41:32,239 --> 00:41:34,760
Speaker 1: Roosevelt and Churchill, who weren't in attendance, and ignored Degall,

783
00:41:34,840 --> 00:41:38,560
Speaker 1: which is great diplomacy. Molotov cocktail name bet for that guy.

784
00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:41,680
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, because of the Finnish Russian War, I think,

785
00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:45,120
Speaker 1: um and uh yeah. He was also the guy who

786
00:41:45,160 --> 00:41:47,160
Speaker 1: made the big pact with Hitler that split Poland up.

787
00:41:47,200 --> 00:41:51,440
Speaker 1: He's he's important, dude. Um Stalin saluted several of his

788
00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:53,640
Speaker 1: own men who were present, and during the salutes he

789
00:41:53,640 --> 00:41:55,680
Speaker 1: would joke about the fact that he was probably going

790
00:41:55,719 --> 00:41:58,120
Speaker 1: to have them killed in the near future in front

791
00:41:58,120 --> 00:42:03,080
Speaker 1: of them. Just a lot of like high pitched like

792
00:42:03,200 --> 00:42:07,640
Speaker 1: side I laughing, happening in the forties, and nothing but

793
00:42:07,760 --> 00:42:11,360
Speaker 1: side I laughed. De gall was horrified by all this,

794
00:42:11,719 --> 00:42:14,759
Speaker 1: of course, uh Stalin noticed, so he leaned over to

795
00:42:14,800 --> 00:42:17,400
Speaker 1: the Frenchman and said, people call me a monster, but

796
00:42:17,480 --> 00:42:19,360
Speaker 1: as you see I make a joke of it, maybe

797
00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:22,480
Speaker 1: I'm not horrible at all. Oh my god, which you're

798
00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:25,440
Speaker 1: not convincing anyone you're not the worst. So just because

799
00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:30,799
Speaker 1: you're genocide has a punchline doesn't mean it wasn't a genocide.

800
00:42:31,200 --> 00:42:34,640
Speaker 1: So Molotov starts actually doing the work of diplomacy with

801
00:42:34,680 --> 00:42:38,320
Speaker 1: a French diplomat over the treaty. And while they're working

802
00:42:38,360 --> 00:42:41,040
Speaker 1: the reason this whole meeting is happening, Stalin shouts out,

803
00:42:41,320 --> 00:42:44,600
Speaker 1: bring the machine guns out, let's liquidate the diplomats. Oh

804
00:42:44,640 --> 00:42:47,440
Speaker 1: my god. Then he took his guests out for coffee

805
00:42:47,440 --> 00:42:50,560
Speaker 1: and movies. He hugged the frenchman at random, and staggered

806
00:42:50,560 --> 00:42:53,720
Speaker 1: around drunkenly. Uh. This marks the opening of the last

807
00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:56,680
Speaker 1: great stage in Joseph Stalin's life, which I call his

808
00:42:56,760 --> 00:43:00,520
Speaker 1: drunk as Fuck period because it was Kara derives by

809
00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:04,719
Speaker 1: nightmarish drinking sessions and a tremendous growth in practical jokes. Uh.

810
00:43:04,800 --> 00:43:09,600
Speaker 1: Stalin loved practical jokes, just a cloy example, during the

811
00:43:09,600 --> 00:43:11,880
Speaker 1: celebration of victory in World War Two, one of the

812
00:43:11,920 --> 00:43:14,760
Speaker 1: other magnates pulled the ceremonial knife out of a Russian

813
00:43:14,760 --> 00:43:17,680
Speaker 1: diplomat's uniform and replaced it with a pickle. Stalin laughed

814
00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:23,000
Speaker 1: about it the entire day. That is the funniest thing

815
00:43:23,040 --> 00:43:28,239
Speaker 1: he'd ever seen. He would have loved Kara top I

816
00:43:28,280 --> 00:43:37,160
Speaker 1: feel like Gallagher would have rocked Stalin's world, even America. Yeah.

817
00:43:37,239 --> 00:43:41,319
Speaker 1: He became more erratic after the war, possibly as the

818
00:43:41,360 --> 00:43:44,239
Speaker 1: result of several mini strokes in his increased drinking. Uh.

819
00:43:44,320 --> 00:43:46,200
Speaker 1: He purged more and more of his inner circle and

820
00:43:46,239 --> 00:43:49,160
Speaker 1: complained to Marshall Zukov, who was the Russian general who

821
00:43:49,200 --> 00:43:51,960
Speaker 1: won World War Two pretty much quote, I am a

822
00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:55,839
Speaker 1: most unfortunate person. I'm afraid of my own shadow. It's

823
00:43:55,840 --> 00:43:58,360
Speaker 1: almost like killing millions of people will catch up to

824
00:43:58,400 --> 00:44:01,920
Speaker 1: you sooner or later. Yeah. And Stalin apparently couldn't be

825
00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:04,360
Speaker 1: left alone, did not ever want to be alone for

826
00:44:04,440 --> 00:44:06,040
Speaker 1: any long period of time if you could avoid it.

827
00:44:06,480 --> 00:44:10,640
Speaker 1: And so every single night he would ask if all

828
00:44:10,680 --> 00:44:14,040
Speaker 1: of the magnates were free for dinner, and they would

829
00:44:14,080 --> 00:44:17,680
Speaker 1: come over to his house uh, and they would start

830
00:44:17,680 --> 00:44:20,280
Speaker 1: to eat, and these dinners would generally last six hours

831
00:44:20,360 --> 00:44:23,920
Speaker 1: or longer. Um. And that's just the dinner portion. As

832
00:44:23,920 --> 00:44:26,000
Speaker 1: I go through this, remember this is every day for

833
00:44:26,080 --> 00:44:28,319
Speaker 1: the men that are around Stalin, Like, how long is

834
00:44:28,360 --> 00:44:32,239
Speaker 1: your work day? And then you've got dinner after the

835
00:44:32,239 --> 00:44:35,920
Speaker 1: whole work day. This is the only work day. They

836
00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:39,440
Speaker 1: start eating and they start drinking mildly with bottles of wine,

837
00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:42,880
Speaker 1: weak liqueurs and sometimes champagne. Then as the evening war on,

838
00:44:42,880 --> 00:44:45,600
Speaker 1: they would switch to toasts of vodka, something called pepper

839
00:44:45,680 --> 00:44:49,960
Speaker 1: vodka which sounds like the worst, and brandy. Uh. They

840
00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:52,520
Speaker 1: would always proceed past tipsy and sauce into a state

841
00:44:52,520 --> 00:44:56,160
Speaker 1: of blind stinking drunkitude. Stalin would generally water down his

842
00:44:56,239 --> 00:44:58,840
Speaker 1: own drinks with mineral water on his doctor's advice, but

843
00:44:58,880 --> 00:45:00,680
Speaker 1: that just meant it took him younger to get wrecked

844
00:45:00,719 --> 00:45:03,280
Speaker 1: than everyone else, and so everyone else had to drink

845
00:45:03,320 --> 00:45:05,759
Speaker 1: more and longer. This is a quote from in the

846
00:45:05,800 --> 00:45:08,560
Speaker 1: Court of the Red CSAR. Forcing his tough comrades to

847
00:45:08,600 --> 00:45:11,240
Speaker 1: lose control of themselves became his sport and a measure

848
00:45:11,239 --> 00:45:14,640
Speaker 1: of dominance. The drinking started with Stalin, not Barrier. He

849
00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:17,680
Speaker 1: quote forced us to drink to loosen our tongues, wrote

850
00:45:17,760 --> 00:45:21,040
Speaker 1: McCoy in. Stalin liked the old drinking game of guessing

851
00:45:21,040 --> 00:45:27,840
Speaker 1: the temperature, which is literally that classic drinking game. He

852
00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:31,000
Speaker 1: would say to someone, Hey, Barrier, guess the temperature, and

853
00:45:31,040 --> 00:45:33,040
Speaker 1: Barry would say, I don't know, fifteen And if it

854
00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:36,920
Speaker 1: was eighteen, Barry would drink three shots of vodka. No

855
00:45:38,160 --> 00:45:41,160
Speaker 1: oh no, it's like one guy at the table that's

856
00:45:41,160 --> 00:45:44,960
Speaker 1: always like nine every time that guy would have died

857
00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:51,759
Speaker 1: of alcohol poison because they used selfius. Um. No one

858
00:45:51,800 --> 00:45:54,360
Speaker 1: but Stalin enjoyed these drinking vengeines. For the rest of

859
00:45:54,400 --> 00:45:57,840
Speaker 1: these guys, this is just a nightmare, an endless nightmare.

860
00:45:57,960 --> 00:46:01,840
Speaker 1: Every single day their their drink king not just excess,

861
00:46:01,880 --> 00:46:04,640
Speaker 1: but to nightmarish excess. I mean, he's just acting like

862
00:46:05,320 --> 00:46:10,560
Speaker 1: the worst divorce, like a frat boy divorce. Like it's

863
00:46:10,600 --> 00:46:16,719
Speaker 1: this weird mix of like frat leader and sad divorce. Yeah,

864
00:46:16,760 --> 00:46:18,440
Speaker 1: and it's and it's like your friends are like, hey man,

865
00:46:18,480 --> 00:46:20,600
Speaker 1: we're gonna go out, like we're gonna get you over her.

866
00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:22,799
Speaker 1: Don't worry about it, Like we're going to do this.

867
00:46:22,880 --> 00:46:27,319
Speaker 1: But like it's like he's not moving at all, doing

868
00:46:27,360 --> 00:46:33,160
Speaker 1: this forever. Yeah. It was very common for various magnates

869
00:46:33,200 --> 00:46:38,080
Speaker 1: to stagger out of the room mid meal, vomit, soiled themselves,

870
00:46:38,520 --> 00:46:41,720
Speaker 1: and then have to come back in to do more. Uh.

871
00:46:41,760 --> 00:46:43,640
Speaker 1: Sometimes they got too drunk to do even that and

872
00:46:43,640 --> 00:46:45,920
Speaker 1: they have to be carried home by their guards. But

873
00:46:45,960 --> 00:46:48,440
Speaker 1: people were puking like vomiting into their like. Know, the

874
00:46:48,480 --> 00:46:51,000
Speaker 1: dictator of Yugoslavia apparently once had to vomit down his

875
00:46:51,040 --> 00:46:53,440
Speaker 1: shirt sleeve in order to like keep going at this

876
00:46:53,480 --> 00:46:57,400
Speaker 1: party because they were just drinking so much. Um Molotov

877
00:46:57,440 --> 00:46:59,799
Speaker 1: and Khrushchev were the best drinkers in the group. Even so,

878
00:46:59,840 --> 00:47:02,400
Speaker 1: the spinges were so intense that Kruschev sometimes wet his

879
00:47:02,440 --> 00:47:07,040
Speaker 1: bed at night while passed out. Several magnates became desperate

880
00:47:07,040 --> 00:47:08,840
Speaker 1: to find a way to avoid drinking with Stalin. This

881
00:47:08,880 --> 00:47:12,440
Speaker 1: is a quote from a Brotherhood of Tyrants. At Stalin's dinners,

882
00:47:12,480 --> 00:47:15,799
Speaker 1: Krushchev states quote, there were often serious drinking bouts. I

883
00:47:15,800 --> 00:47:18,880
Speaker 1: remember Barria, Malenkov and mccoyon had to ask the waitress

884
00:47:18,920 --> 00:47:21,200
Speaker 1: to pour them colored water instead of wine because they

885
00:47:21,239 --> 00:47:24,279
Speaker 1: couldn't keep up with Stalin's drinking. He added that when

886
00:47:24,320 --> 00:47:27,280
Speaker 1: Stalin realized he had been deceived, he fumed with anger

887
00:47:27,360 --> 00:47:31,040
Speaker 1: and raised a terrible uproar. These guys are like pouring

888
00:47:31,160 --> 00:47:35,720
Speaker 1: colored water color wife, just trying not to die, trying

889
00:47:35,760 --> 00:47:38,960
Speaker 1: to yeah, we all have gout, dude. And again every

890
00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:42,360
Speaker 1: single day they would they would drink all night and

891
00:47:42,400 --> 00:47:44,400
Speaker 1: then go home, and by the time they woke up

892
00:47:44,400 --> 00:47:46,799
Speaker 1: Stalin to be calling them again saying, you guys want

893
00:47:46,800 --> 00:47:50,920
Speaker 1: to come from over for dinner. They have wives and kids,

894
00:47:51,480 --> 00:47:53,600
Speaker 1: doesn't matter. Stalin does not give a shit about that.

895
00:47:54,080 --> 00:47:56,359
Speaker 1: And also he jailed a lot of their wives. Yea,

896
00:47:56,520 --> 00:48:02,800
Speaker 1: the wives probably were like, fine, yeah, that's fine, cleaning

897
00:48:02,880 --> 00:48:05,440
Speaker 1: up my husband's piss, Yes, exactly. He cleared his own

898
00:48:05,520 --> 00:48:09,839
Speaker 1: vomit and see everything that I do for him. At

899
00:48:09,840 --> 00:48:11,560
Speaker 1: one point, Stalin found out that one of his friends

900
00:48:11,560 --> 00:48:13,560
Speaker 1: had been sneaking secret naps when he went to the

901
00:48:13,560 --> 00:48:15,799
Speaker 1: bathroom in order to sober up just a little bit,

902
00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:18,480
Speaker 1: and Stalin said, quote, want to be smarter than the rest,

903
00:48:18,560 --> 00:48:22,359
Speaker 1: don't you see you don't regret it later. Oh yeah,

904
00:48:23,440 --> 00:48:28,600
Speaker 1: he's just trying to like they Oh man, I hate him. Yeah,

905
00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:31,040
Speaker 1: he's the worst. The stakes on these drinking bitches were

906
00:48:31,040 --> 00:48:34,000
Speaker 1: incredibly high because if you said the wrong thing, he'd

907
00:48:34,040 --> 00:48:35,360
Speaker 1: kill you. And that was part of why he did it,

908
00:48:35,440 --> 00:48:37,239
Speaker 1: so that people would be honest, so that he could

909
00:48:37,320 --> 00:48:39,800
Speaker 1: like know if somebody was plotting against him. I figured,

910
00:48:39,840 --> 00:48:44,120
Speaker 1: if everybody's blackout drunk, nobody's hiding anything from me. Um,

911
00:48:44,239 --> 00:48:47,919
Speaker 1: what a paranoid, crazy person. Yeah. Yeah, everyone was way

912
00:48:47,920 --> 00:48:49,799
Speaker 1: too wasted to perform the peak ability and these are

913
00:48:49,880 --> 00:48:53,680
Speaker 1: very competent people. Uh So, in order to try to

914
00:48:53,719 --> 00:48:57,000
Speaker 1: stay alive, the magnates turned to crude, practical jokes to

915
00:48:57,080 --> 00:49:00,879
Speaker 1: keep Stalin occupied. They were not funny. One favorite joke

916
00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:04,040
Speaker 1: was just to shove people into the pond near Stalin's house.

917
00:49:04,840 --> 00:49:08,239
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie. That would make me laugh over

918
00:49:08,280 --> 00:49:10,719
Speaker 1: and over again for days. And it became such a

919
00:49:10,760 --> 00:49:13,839
Speaker 1: problem that Stalin's bodyguards had to drain the pond because

920
00:49:13,840 --> 00:49:15,439
Speaker 1: they were like one of these guys kind of fucking

921
00:49:15,520 --> 00:49:17,680
Speaker 1: drowned there too, drunk to swim, and they're not gonna

922
00:49:17,680 --> 00:49:19,120
Speaker 1: be able to help each other out. Like, if we

923
00:49:19,160 --> 00:49:21,600
Speaker 1: don't drain this pond, one of the leaders of the

924
00:49:21,640 --> 00:49:25,800
Speaker 1: Soviet Union is going to drown drunk and Stalin his

925
00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:29,000
Speaker 1: poor Like, we take a moment for Stalin's poor staff,

926
00:49:29,680 --> 00:49:32,879
Speaker 1: the people that had to like clean up after all

927
00:49:32,920 --> 00:49:34,880
Speaker 1: of this and make the food and get the booze

928
00:49:34,880 --> 00:49:36,640
Speaker 1: and like watch them at all. They're just like, oh

929
00:49:36,680 --> 00:49:38,360
Speaker 1: my god, and they all have to live a nocturnal

930
00:49:38,400 --> 00:49:42,440
Speaker 1: schedule to yeah, oh no, one night. Barry A drunkenly

931
00:49:42,480 --> 00:49:45,200
Speaker 1: suggested that they loose some caged quails and shoot them,

932
00:49:45,200 --> 00:49:48,640
Speaker 1: which was obviously a great idea. Great guns and blackout drunk, Yeah,

933
00:49:48,640 --> 00:49:51,839
Speaker 1: that always goes well. Stalin, equally drunk, grabbed a gun

934
00:49:51,880 --> 00:49:54,319
Speaker 1: and wandered out into the garden. He fired his gun

935
00:49:54,360 --> 00:49:56,640
Speaker 1: into the ground first, barely missing one of his friends,

936
00:49:56,800 --> 00:49:58,480
Speaker 1: and then he fired it into the air and hit

937
00:49:58,520 --> 00:50:01,279
Speaker 1: two of his bodyguards with birch shot. This is what

938
00:50:01,320 --> 00:50:04,400
Speaker 1: I meant when I said he pulled a change, pulled

939
00:50:04,440 --> 00:50:08,560
Speaker 1: a double cheney somewhere on an oxygen tank in Wyoming

940
00:50:08,640 --> 00:50:10,920
Speaker 1: right now, just like, why don't I get people to

941
00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:19,200
Speaker 1: come over? Just make them all drink. Stalin had a

942
00:50:19,239 --> 00:50:24,160
Speaker 1: mean sense of humor. H yeah, oh, we got it.

943
00:50:24,239 --> 00:50:27,879
Speaker 1: A Brotherhood of tyrants relates this story that Kruschev told

944
00:50:28,719 --> 00:50:31,759
Speaker 1: uh for some reason. This is Kruschev talking for some reason.

945
00:50:31,800 --> 00:50:35,040
Speaker 1: He found the humiliation of others very amusing. I remember

946
00:50:35,040 --> 00:50:38,400
Speaker 1: once Stalin maybe dance the gopak before some top party officials.

947
00:50:38,480 --> 00:50:40,359
Speaker 1: I had to squat down on my haunches and kick

948
00:50:40,400 --> 00:50:42,920
Speaker 1: out my heels, which frankly wasn't very easy for me,

949
00:50:43,120 --> 00:50:44,600
Speaker 1: but I did it, and I tried to keep a

950
00:50:44,600 --> 00:50:48,120
Speaker 1: pleasant expression on my face. Stalin was quite capable of

951
00:50:48,200 --> 00:50:50,680
Speaker 1: humiliating even his daughter once she had left childhood after

952
00:50:50,680 --> 00:50:52,959
Speaker 1: World War Two. At a dinner given for twelve Soviet Marshall,

953
00:50:53,000 --> 00:50:55,480
Speaker 1: Stalin said in his daughter's presence, Well, my friends, I

954
00:50:55,480 --> 00:50:58,600
Speaker 1: bet you don't know who's sucking her now because he's

955
00:50:58,640 --> 00:51:01,600
Speaker 1: the worst. Oh, he is the worst. He's the worst.

956
00:51:01,719 --> 00:51:04,600
Speaker 1: What is it about, like leaders having inappropriate relationships with

957
00:51:04,640 --> 00:51:07,520
Speaker 1: their daughters? It's crazy? Yeah, I would have that never

958
00:51:07,560 --> 00:51:14,400
Speaker 1: happened again. Yeah. Uh Kruschief said. Stalin sometimes got so

959
00:51:14,480 --> 00:51:17,680
Speaker 1: drunk that he took liberties, which means sexual assault today.

960
00:51:17,719 --> 00:51:20,600
Speaker 1: But back then method Stalin drunkenly throw tomatoes at his friends.

961
00:51:21,040 --> 00:51:23,799
Speaker 1: This became a trope among the drunken magnates. Marius started

962
00:51:23,840 --> 00:51:26,480
Speaker 1: sneaking tomatoes into mccoyan's suits and would then shove him

963
00:51:26,520 --> 00:51:28,800
Speaker 1: into a wall so the tomato would burst in his pants.

964
00:51:29,320 --> 00:51:33,320
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie. That's actually kind of funny. For years,

965
00:51:33,440 --> 00:51:36,080
Speaker 1: mccoyan would have to bring spare pants to dinner just

966
00:51:36,120 --> 00:51:39,160
Speaker 1: to deal with the inevitable tomato in the pants. Old

967
00:51:39,239 --> 00:51:43,080
Speaker 1: spare pants. Mccoya over here. Stal loved this. He loved

968
00:51:43,080 --> 00:51:45,439
Speaker 1: it when someone would sit on a tomato. He loved

969
00:51:45,480 --> 00:51:48,240
Speaker 1: it when his his friends would fill someone else's vodka

970
00:51:48,280 --> 00:51:51,759
Speaker 1: with salt so they'd vomit after drinking. He's just the

971
00:51:51,840 --> 00:51:54,600
Speaker 1: frat boy of all frat just like when was the

972
00:51:54,640 --> 00:51:57,120
Speaker 1: whoope cushion invented? Because I feel like he would have

973
00:51:57,160 --> 00:52:03,600
Speaker 1: lost goddamn mine with a safet on a tomatoes, Give

974
00:52:03,600 --> 00:52:07,319
Speaker 1: me a rubber chicken. It's hilarious. So these all night

975
00:52:07,400 --> 00:52:09,919
Speaker 1: drunken dinners are where the vast majority of Russian state

976
00:52:09,920 --> 00:52:12,600
Speaker 1: business was settled. So all of the ussr is political

977
00:52:12,680 --> 00:52:16,840
Speaker 1: decisions were done while these guys were just getting hammered.

978
00:52:16,840 --> 00:52:20,160
Speaker 1: Peopleould come in Stong would sign things, he was ordering executions,

979
00:52:20,160 --> 00:52:23,040
Speaker 1: he was he was making national policy for the Cold War,

980
00:52:23,600 --> 00:52:26,080
Speaker 1: and all these guys were while they were just not

981
00:52:26,160 --> 00:52:28,799
Speaker 1: just drunk, but I'm gonna say probably the drunkest any

982
00:52:28,880 --> 00:52:32,000
Speaker 1: human beings have ever been. I love the idea of

983
00:52:32,040 --> 00:52:36,759
Speaker 1: who's Who's president at this point. I think Truman for

984
00:52:36,800 --> 00:52:38,959
Speaker 1: a big part of this, Yeah, is that the idea

985
00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:42,600
Speaker 1: of like a split screen of of how they both

986
00:52:42,600 --> 00:52:45,400
Speaker 1: conducted their business and how the Cold War is ramping

987
00:52:45,440 --> 00:52:48,319
Speaker 1: up on both sides. That's what's amazing. From forty five

988
00:52:48,360 --> 00:52:50,960
Speaker 1: to fifty three, one of the world's two superpowers and

989
00:52:50,960 --> 00:52:53,359
Speaker 1: a nuclear power. For most of that was managed by

990
00:52:53,360 --> 00:52:56,719
Speaker 1: a bunch of wasted old men in between smashing tomatoes

991
00:52:56,719 --> 00:52:59,439
Speaker 1: into each other, and we didn't have a nuclear war.

992
00:53:00,200 --> 00:53:03,000
Speaker 1: That's inspiring it really like that does give me a

993
00:53:03,080 --> 00:53:07,839
Speaker 1: little bit of hope. Well, al right, okay, uh, just

994
00:53:07,920 --> 00:53:10,359
Speaker 1: keep a lot of tomatoes around. Apparently as the move.

995
00:53:11,160 --> 00:53:14,520
Speaker 1: So everything we've described so far is generally going up

996
00:53:14,520 --> 00:53:18,520
Speaker 1: to about two am in the morning. At two am ish,

997
00:53:18,840 --> 00:53:21,560
Speaker 1: Stalin would usually suggest that everyone come watch a movie

998
00:53:21,600 --> 00:53:25,839
Speaker 1: with him, so they're all the drunkest anyone's ever been

999
00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:28,680
Speaker 1: covered in tomato, and Stalin says, you, guys, want to

1000
00:53:28,680 --> 00:53:31,480
Speaker 1: watch a movie? Oh boy, what's he? What's he pulling out?

1001
00:53:31,600 --> 00:53:34,680
Speaker 1: His favorite movies were detective films, westerns, and gangster films

1002
00:53:35,160 --> 00:53:37,160
Speaker 1: like The m p A. He loved fight scenes and

1003
00:53:37,200 --> 00:53:40,000
Speaker 1: was disgusted by any hint of sexuality. H here's a

1004
00:53:40,040 --> 00:53:42,560
Speaker 1: quote from In the Court of the Redsar when Boschakov,

1005
00:53:42,640 --> 00:53:44,960
Speaker 1: who Bolshakov was his movie guy. I'll get in him

1006
00:53:45,000 --> 00:53:47,279
Speaker 1: a little later, once showed him a slightly risque a

1007
00:53:47,360 --> 00:53:50,080
Speaker 1: scene involving a naked girl. He banged the table and said,

1008
00:53:50,200 --> 00:53:52,920
Speaker 1: are you making a bravo here Boschekov, and then he

1009
00:53:52,960 --> 00:53:55,600
Speaker 1: walked out, followed by the pullet burrow, leaving poor Bolschikov

1010
00:53:55,600 --> 00:53:58,360
Speaker 1: awaiting arrest. From then on, he cut even the slightest

1011
00:53:58,360 --> 00:54:03,799
Speaker 1: glimpse of nudity. Oh boy, I like that. Stalin, on

1012
00:54:03,840 --> 00:54:08,640
Speaker 1: top of everything else, is like a big prude of everything. Yeah. Man,

1013
00:54:08,680 --> 00:54:11,000
Speaker 1: He's like, no, no, I can't get the boobs out

1014
00:54:11,000 --> 00:54:14,759
Speaker 1: of here. Put some tomatoes in pockets instead, blow something up.

1015
00:54:16,840 --> 00:54:20,440
Speaker 1: Boschakov was Stalin's film curator, and he had maybe the

1016
00:54:20,480 --> 00:54:23,040
Speaker 1: worst job of anyone who likes movies has ever had. Uh.

1017
00:54:23,280 --> 00:54:24,839
Speaker 1: He had to pick the movies for the night, which

1018
00:54:24,880 --> 00:54:27,959
Speaker 1: was a tremendously dangerous job. That's so scary. Yeah, yeah,

1019
00:54:28,040 --> 00:54:30,200
Speaker 1: because you don't want to give Stalin pick a movie

1020
00:54:30,200 --> 00:54:33,000
Speaker 1: for Stalin that he doesn't want to see all those

1021
00:54:33,000 --> 00:54:35,719
Speaker 1: poor actors movies too, can you imagine, being like most

1022
00:54:35,760 --> 00:54:39,080
Speaker 1: of them are American movies. He loved American movies. Um.

1023
00:54:39,080 --> 00:54:43,080
Speaker 1: Boschakov's two predecessors had both been executed. Uh. Stalin would

1024
00:54:43,120 --> 00:54:46,600
Speaker 1: make Boschakov translate the foreign films that they watched. Boschakov

1025
00:54:46,719 --> 00:54:48,520
Speaker 1: was not good at it, but that was okay because

1026
00:54:48,520 --> 00:54:50,839
Speaker 1: Stalin mostly wanted to laugh at him sucking at the job.

1027
00:54:52,520 --> 00:54:57,200
Speaker 1: I mean, okay, like, here's the thing, Like he's a

1028
00:54:57,239 --> 00:55:01,480
Speaker 1: bad man, but his shades of gray every thing. You're like,

1029
00:55:01,800 --> 00:55:04,640
Speaker 1: you know what, that sounds fun? Yeah yeah, I don't

1030
00:55:04,719 --> 00:55:10,040
Speaker 1: just like that. Yeah No, that's the tricky thing about Stalin. Um.

1031
00:55:10,040 --> 00:55:12,279
Speaker 1: Although when he watched his favorite movies, he'd get up

1032
00:55:12,280 --> 00:55:15,040
Speaker 1: and perform his favorite scenes before they happen in the movie.

1033
00:55:16,080 --> 00:55:19,600
Speaker 1: Guy that watch this, watch this, watch us, wait, wait,

1034
00:55:19,600 --> 00:55:23,840
Speaker 1: watch this, watch this. It's coming. If he had seen Borat,

1035
00:55:23,960 --> 00:55:25,799
Speaker 1: that would have been the only thing he ever said

1036
00:55:25,840 --> 00:55:27,880
Speaker 1: for the rest of his life, was just quoting lines

1037
00:55:27,920 --> 00:55:30,759
Speaker 1: from fucking Boy Like he's that guy. He's absolutely that guy.

1038
00:55:30,920 --> 00:55:35,400
Speaker 1: Can you imagine my wife, my wife forever? But if

1039
00:55:35,440 --> 00:55:37,880
Speaker 1: you don't laugh, he kills your family. You just have

1040
00:55:37,960 --> 00:55:42,839
Speaker 1: to laugh. My wife for forever your life. It's it's

1041
00:55:42,880 --> 00:55:46,920
Speaker 1: a nightmare. Um yeah. Many of the movies that Stalin

1042
00:55:46,960 --> 00:55:49,600
Speaker 1: picked came with horrifying undertones. First colleagues, one film that

1043
00:55:49,640 --> 00:55:51,640
Speaker 1: he watched repeatedly was about a pirate who stole a

1044
00:55:51,680 --> 00:55:53,279
Speaker 1: bunch of gold and then murdered all of his co

1045
00:55:53,400 --> 00:55:55,919
Speaker 1: pirates so he could keep it for himself. Stalin would

1046
00:55:55,920 --> 00:55:58,480
Speaker 1: always shout, what a fellow, look at how he did it?

1047
00:56:00,000 --> 00:56:02,960
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Christcheff said this was depressing and reminded

1048
00:56:03,000 --> 00:56:05,240
Speaker 1: all of the other magnates that they were temporary people,

1049
00:56:05,520 --> 00:56:10,200
Speaker 1: which would depress you. As his rain war on, Stalin's

1050
00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:12,440
Speaker 1: obsession with cinema seemed to warp his view of reality.

1051
00:56:12,480 --> 00:56:15,000
Speaker 1: At one point, he insisted on taxing the USSRS peasantry

1052
00:56:15,000 --> 00:56:17,000
Speaker 1: in the middle of a horrific famine. The rest of

1053
00:56:17,000 --> 00:56:19,120
Speaker 1: the politbrio told him this was a terrible idea, but

1054
00:56:19,160 --> 00:56:21,799
Speaker 1: Stalin insisted that peasants could afford it because in the

1055
00:56:21,840 --> 00:56:24,719
Speaker 1: parropaganda movies he'd seen, the peasants were all fat and

1056
00:56:24,719 --> 00:56:27,160
Speaker 1: happy and had plenty of food. Hey man, do you

1057
00:56:27,200 --> 00:56:32,200
Speaker 1: know what propaganda is? Let me explain. You literally ordered this? Yeah, yeah,

1058
00:56:32,400 --> 00:56:33,759
Speaker 1: let me show you the B side of what we

1059
00:56:33,800 --> 00:56:38,040
Speaker 1: got here. He was an early bene watcher. He'd usually

1060
00:56:38,080 --> 00:56:40,239
Speaker 1: suggest a second movie after the first, which would have

1061
00:56:40,239 --> 00:56:42,680
Speaker 1: elicited groans from his friends if groaning in his presence

1062
00:56:42,719 --> 00:56:46,520
Speaker 1: wasn't a death sentence. Movie time generally finished like around

1063
00:56:46,520 --> 00:56:49,439
Speaker 1: four or five something like that am, at which point

1064
00:56:49,480 --> 00:56:51,120
Speaker 1: he would say, let's go grab a bite to eat.

1065
00:56:51,160 --> 00:56:53,080
Speaker 1: If you have the time. Knowing no one could say

1066
00:56:53,120 --> 00:56:56,040
Speaker 1: no to him. Late in the night, whilst wasted, Stalin

1067
00:56:56,080 --> 00:56:59,279
Speaker 1: would insist on djaying for his hammered colleagues. Oh no,

1068
00:56:59,520 --> 00:57:01,759
Speaker 1: isn't the j on top of everything else. He calls

1069
00:57:01,800 --> 00:57:06,640
Speaker 1: to a DJ and he prefers comedic records, including one

1070
00:57:06,880 --> 00:57:09,360
Speaker 1: with the warbling of a singer accompanied by the yowling

1071
00:57:09,400 --> 00:57:12,279
Speaker 1: and barking of dogs, which always made him laugh with mirth.

1072
00:57:12,480 --> 00:57:17,680
Speaker 1: So he's like a noise DJ. He's a drunken noise DJ.

1073
00:57:17,880 --> 00:57:20,600
Speaker 1: Like five in the morning, after like eleven hours of

1074
00:57:20,680 --> 00:57:24,840
Speaker 1: drinking and music, he's putting on noise music. Joseph Stalin

1075
00:57:25,000 --> 00:57:28,080
Speaker 1: just needed Netflix and Coachella, and he would have been fine,

1076
00:57:28,240 --> 00:57:30,160
Speaker 1: would have been the whole world would have been so

1077
00:57:30,240 --> 00:57:33,160
Speaker 1: much better. It would have been Oh god, this is

1078
00:57:33,200 --> 00:57:36,400
Speaker 1: the idea of being like having one headphone on his head,

1079
00:57:36,440 --> 00:57:43,360
Speaker 1: just like you don't check this out out. That's what's happening.

1080
00:57:43,360 --> 00:57:50,440
Speaker 1: That's what's happening. Um this The whole thing generally started

1081
00:57:50,480 --> 00:57:53,840
Speaker 1: sometime in the late afternoon and would end well after dawn,

1082
00:57:53,960 --> 00:57:57,360
Speaker 1: at which point Stalin would dismiss his drunken associates, lay

1083
00:57:57,440 --> 00:57:59,480
Speaker 1: down to read and usually drink a little bit more

1084
00:57:59,520 --> 00:58:01,720
Speaker 1: before pat sing out. Then, of course he would wake

1085
00:58:01,800 --> 00:58:05,040
Speaker 1: up the next day sometime in the afternoon, call his friends,

1086
00:58:05,080 --> 00:58:09,360
Speaker 1: and start the whole process over again. On February nineteen

1087
00:58:09,400 --> 00:58:12,360
Speaker 1: fifty three, after a night of reckless drinking in Cowboy Movies,

1088
00:58:12,480 --> 00:58:15,320
Speaker 1: Joseph Stalin had a stroke. He died five days later.

1089
00:58:15,680 --> 00:58:21,160
Speaker 1: Peace Stalin Stalin after dark. Oh, man, if Joseph Stalin

1090
00:58:21,200 --> 00:58:25,000
Speaker 1: pisses himself, do you acknowledge it? He did when he

1091
00:58:25,080 --> 00:58:27,120
Speaker 1: had his stroke and they found him that he the

1092
00:58:27,120 --> 00:58:28,920
Speaker 1: whole floor was covered and piss. This is like right

1093
00:58:28,960 --> 00:58:31,120
Speaker 1: before he died. So he spent like two days soaked

1094
00:58:31,120 --> 00:58:32,920
Speaker 1: in his own urine while everyone was too scared to

1095
00:58:33,000 --> 00:58:35,120
Speaker 1: change him. Yeah, gotcha. I saw a death of Stalin.

1096
00:58:35,120 --> 00:58:37,040
Speaker 1: And it's interesting because like they like nobody wanted to

1097
00:58:37,080 --> 00:58:38,640
Speaker 1: go in the room because they're like, you want him

1098
00:58:38,680 --> 00:58:41,040
Speaker 1: to do about this? And there's a lot of this controversial.

1099
00:58:41,320 --> 00:58:43,120
Speaker 1: Just the death of Stalin is a fun movie. It's

1100
00:58:43,120 --> 00:58:46,479
Speaker 1: not very accurate, but but that part, like the fact

1101
00:58:46,480 --> 00:58:49,840
Speaker 1: that he was soaked in urine is very true. Yeah.

1102
00:58:49,880 --> 00:58:52,880
Speaker 1: I mean, like of the Dictator deaths, I mean, you know,

1103
00:58:53,000 --> 00:58:56,720
Speaker 1: he died in his sleep, of a stroke. He was

1104
00:58:56,920 --> 00:58:59,400
Speaker 1: very successful. He died the way you want to die,

1105
00:58:59,520 --> 00:59:02,200
Speaker 1: as the absolute ruler of a nightmare regime, which is

1106
00:59:02,680 --> 00:59:07,160
Speaker 1: not being murdered by your subjects. Yeah, what why didn't

1107
00:59:07,320 --> 00:59:11,080
Speaker 1: they murder? Well, I mean because it seems like I

1108
00:59:11,120 --> 00:59:13,520
Speaker 1: know his propaganda. He's really great at marketing, so it

1109
00:59:13,720 --> 00:59:17,800
Speaker 1: seems like he was really beloved. He was beloved by

1110
00:59:17,800 --> 00:59:21,240
Speaker 1: the common people in the USSR. It was very popular

1111
00:59:21,280 --> 00:59:23,520
Speaker 1: with some circles of the country. And anytime he got

1112
00:59:23,560 --> 00:59:26,680
Speaker 1: a hint that someone didn't like him anymore, just kill you,

1113
00:59:26,760 --> 00:59:29,560
Speaker 1: just kill him, which is why they all tried to

1114
00:59:29,560 --> 00:59:31,560
Speaker 1: be his friend. Like these and these guys, you have

1115
00:59:31,640 --> 00:59:34,320
Speaker 1: to think his inner circle would be the ones who

1116
00:59:34,320 --> 00:59:36,440
Speaker 1: would be plotting any coup. And they're not going to

1117
00:59:36,520 --> 00:59:39,720
Speaker 1: be able there they wasted all the time, like their

1118
00:59:39,760 --> 00:59:42,920
Speaker 1: life is one perpetual hangover. They're not going to be

1119
00:59:43,320 --> 00:59:49,000
Speaker 1: successfully plotting you just hanging on their fingernails. What a

1120
00:59:49,000 --> 00:59:51,880
Speaker 1: way to make sure that your comrades don't kill you.

1121
00:59:51,960 --> 00:59:55,080
Speaker 1: It's just like throw a frat party for the last

1122
00:59:55,120 --> 00:59:59,920
Speaker 1: three years of your life or whatever. Yeah, I mean eight, Yeah,

1123
01:00:00,040 --> 01:00:02,080
Speaker 1: isn't every night Because they went on vacation. He could

1124
01:00:02,160 --> 01:00:04,120
Speaker 1: have some days where he worked and stuff, but like

1125
01:00:04,520 --> 01:00:07,360
Speaker 1: a lot of nights, hundreds of nights like that, he's

1126
01:00:07,360 --> 01:00:09,760
Speaker 1: just made of gout. It's like what it seems like

1127
01:00:10,400 --> 01:00:14,920
Speaker 1: just God, all of them. That just sounds so it

1128
01:00:15,280 --> 01:00:18,600
Speaker 1: does like like Christjeff Berry, the Molotov, these are not

1129
01:00:18,680 --> 01:00:22,240
Speaker 1: like historically good people, but you can't not feel sorry

1130
01:00:22,280 --> 01:00:25,640
Speaker 1: for them. Yeah, it's a nightmare. No, for sure, that

1131
01:00:25,720 --> 01:00:28,080
Speaker 1: sounds awful. For like the better part of a decade.

1132
01:00:28,200 --> 01:00:31,600
Speaker 1: You're just getting like college wasted. You're in your sixties,

1133
01:00:32,920 --> 01:00:36,080
Speaker 1: Like nobody's in the shape as a human to be

1134
01:00:36,200 --> 01:00:38,160
Speaker 1: Like maybe if they were twenty one, they could have

1135
01:00:38,200 --> 01:00:41,040
Speaker 1: handled that kind of drinking for a couple of years exactly,

1136
01:00:41,120 --> 01:00:45,680
Speaker 1: but no, it's just the worst man. That's just like uh,

1137
01:00:45,840 --> 01:00:51,280
Speaker 1: father the Bride drunk for eight years straight, straight man. Yeah,

1138
01:00:51,320 --> 01:00:55,680
Speaker 1: it's kind of shocking. Uh, the Cold War didn't go

1139
01:00:55,720 --> 01:00:59,800
Speaker 1: worse time that this. This actually does give me a

1140
01:00:59,840 --> 01:01:01,640
Speaker 1: lot out of faith just in general with like the

1141
01:01:01,640 --> 01:01:03,880
Speaker 1: way the world is now to be. Like oh, okay, well,

1142
01:01:03,920 --> 01:01:09,640
Speaker 1: I mean I don't these guys were idiots and drunk animals. Okay,

1143
01:01:09,720 --> 01:01:11,520
Speaker 1: well he's were drunk monsters and we didn't have a

1144
01:01:11,600 --> 01:01:14,080
Speaker 1: nuclear war. So yeah, so I mean, you guys happening

1145
01:01:14,120 --> 01:01:16,480
Speaker 1: happening at I don't think they had a button, Like

1146
01:01:16,520 --> 01:01:18,200
Speaker 1: I know, eventually they wound up with their own version

1147
01:01:18,200 --> 01:01:20,120
Speaker 1: of the button, which they still have. I don't think

1148
01:01:20,160 --> 01:01:22,000
Speaker 1: they had that quite yet. Like, I don't think their

1149
01:01:22,080 --> 01:01:24,720
Speaker 1: arsenal was that advanced. So maybe if there had been

1150
01:01:24,760 --> 01:01:27,600
Speaker 1: a button that Stale could have drunkenly pressed, he would

1151
01:01:27,600 --> 01:01:29,560
Speaker 1: have he would have been checked out. He'd always have

1152
01:01:29,640 --> 01:01:31,440
Speaker 1: his hand over it. He would have a fake button

1153
01:01:31,400 --> 01:01:33,000
Speaker 1: and he'd be like, oh, they just pressed the button,

1154
01:01:33,040 --> 01:01:34,520
Speaker 1: and they'd be like, what did you do? And he's like,

1155
01:01:34,600 --> 01:01:38,440
Speaker 1: it's the fake buttons just pulling out of the ground

1156
01:01:38,480 --> 01:01:41,280
Speaker 1: in the distance exactly. He like sets off a nuke,

1157
01:01:41,360 --> 01:01:43,480
Speaker 1: but it's like made of tomatoes. He's just like, check

1158
01:01:43,560 --> 01:01:47,800
Speaker 1: this out. But throwing tomatoes at Truman her eyes an

1159
01:01:47,800 --> 01:01:53,800
Speaker 1: hour exactly missen to bomb full of orange peels to Washington.

1160
01:01:53,880 --> 01:01:57,240
Speaker 1: Do see, that's what I want to do. Let's just

1161
01:01:57,280 --> 01:01:59,720
Speaker 1: see what happens. Just throw the peels at eyes and

1162
01:01:59,760 --> 01:02:02,240
Speaker 1: now or he'll know what it's about. Appeal that son

1163
01:02:02,280 --> 01:02:08,000
Speaker 1: of a b up good exactly. Well alright, uh, brandy,

1164
01:02:08,000 --> 01:02:10,600
Speaker 1: posey you want to tell the Internet where they can

1165
01:02:10,640 --> 01:02:15,240
Speaker 1: find you, and you yeah, it's it's it's funny, like

1166
01:02:15,480 --> 01:02:17,760
Speaker 1: giving where to find me after talking about Stalin for

1167
01:02:17,800 --> 01:02:19,520
Speaker 1: an hour because it's like, oh, he knew where to

1168
01:02:19,520 --> 01:02:25,120
Speaker 1: find everybody, but falls the record. Um. You can find

1169
01:02:25,120 --> 01:02:27,880
Speaker 1: me on Twitter and Instagram at brand Dazzle uh. And

1170
01:02:27,880 --> 01:02:30,120
Speaker 1: then my website is Brandy Posey dot com. I have

1171
01:02:30,160 --> 01:02:32,160
Speaker 1: all my tour dates up on there. I'm a comedian

1172
01:02:32,160 --> 01:02:34,320
Speaker 1: and I tore the country quite a bit. Um small

1173
01:02:34,320 --> 01:02:37,000
Speaker 1: over the place, Come see me live. I'm very fun. Um.

1174
01:02:37,040 --> 01:02:39,360
Speaker 1: I have an album called Opinion Cave that's available on

1175
01:02:39,360 --> 01:02:42,520
Speaker 1: Spotify and iTunes and everywhere you buy albums or stream them. Uh.

1176
01:02:42,560 --> 01:02:44,439
Speaker 1: And then I have a podcast as well called Lady

1177
01:02:44,440 --> 01:02:46,640
Speaker 1: to Lady that is myself and two other female comics.

1178
01:02:46,680 --> 01:02:48,320
Speaker 1: And then we just kind of like goof around and

1179
01:02:48,360 --> 01:02:50,560
Speaker 1: hang out and do really dumb stuff like we take

1180
01:02:50,600 --> 01:02:53,600
Speaker 1: French Stort to Sizzler and get him white wine. We

1181
01:02:53,680 --> 01:02:58,040
Speaker 1: basically stalind French Stort at a Sizzler for a two episode,

1182
01:02:58,440 --> 01:03:00,560
Speaker 1: So we do that kind of stuff. It's pretty fun.

1183
01:03:01,120 --> 01:03:03,720
Speaker 1: Um And uh, yeah I do. I just have all

1184
01:03:03,840 --> 01:03:05,360
Speaker 1: all over the place in l A. Have a monthly

1185
01:03:05,400 --> 01:03:08,360
Speaker 1: show called Picture This that's comedians paired up with animators

1186
01:03:08,880 --> 01:03:10,800
Speaker 1: and they light animate your jokes during your set, and

1187
01:03:10,800 --> 01:03:12,920
Speaker 1: then it's really really fun and we get some huge names.

1188
01:03:12,960 --> 01:03:16,360
Speaker 1: And that's at the Virgil once a month here in

1189
01:03:16,400 --> 01:03:18,680
Speaker 1: Los Angeles, and it's free and it's super fun and

1190
01:03:18,720 --> 01:03:21,520
Speaker 1: all infasive. Brandy Posey dot com. I am intimidated and

1191
01:03:21,560 --> 01:03:24,840
Speaker 1: impressed by the things you're doing. I'm Robert Evans. I

1192
01:03:24,840 --> 01:03:26,480
Speaker 1: have a book. You can find it on Amazon. It's

1193
01:03:26,480 --> 01:03:28,840
Speaker 1: called A Brief History of Vice. It's me experimenting with

1194
01:03:28,880 --> 01:03:31,280
Speaker 1: weird ancient drugs. If you can find me on Twitter

1195
01:03:31,320 --> 01:03:35,840
Speaker 1: at at I right, okay uh And while you're online

1196
01:03:35,920 --> 01:03:38,640
Speaker 1: looking us both up, you should swing on over to

1197
01:03:38,720 --> 01:03:41,520
Speaker 1: the Behind the Bastard's website Behind the Bastards dot com,

1198
01:03:41,600 --> 01:03:43,480
Speaker 1: or you can find us on Instagram and Twitter at

1199
01:03:43,520 --> 01:03:46,479
Speaker 1: at Bastard's pod. Thanks a lot, See you next time,

1200
01:03:46,640 --> 01:03:49,600
Speaker 1: and remember to subscribe to this podcast so you can

1201
01:03:49,640 --> 01:04:02,080
Speaker 1: hear all about the worst people in history. Bye bye,