Speaker 1: Piece of the planet, Charlamagne to God here and as
Speaker 1: we come closer to closing out this year, I just
Speaker 1: want to say thank you for tuning into the Black
Speaker 1: Effect podcast network. There have been so many great moments
Speaker 1: over the past year. Take a listen to some of
Speaker 1: those captivating moments in this special best of episode, Let's
Speaker 1: Talk Talk.
Speaker 2: We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion to talks.
Speaker 3: How do you not catch feelings when dealing with men?
Speaker 3: When dating? Is it possible to not catch feelings?
Speaker 1: So?
Speaker 3: I mean, you know, women, we are emotional beings, That's
Speaker 3: what niggas be saying. But I feel like men are
Speaker 3: actually way more emotional than us. But sometimes we might
Speaker 3: hallucinate a little bit. Sometimes we may get things misconscrewed
Speaker 3: when engaging with the opposite second, So how do you
Speaker 3: We've already had an episode on dating and like the
Speaker 3: different levels of dating, But how do you actually date
Speaker 3: without catching feelings for someone?
Speaker 2: But let me ask you this, Why are we dating
Speaker 2: and not trying to catch feelings? That's what I don't understand, Like,
Speaker 2: my whole goal is to always catch feelings.
Speaker 3: Sometimes women catch feelings with everybody that they're dating, though
Speaker 3: that's the problem if you're not dating multiple people at
Speaker 3: one time. I'm saying, like, if you're honing in on
Speaker 3: this one person and you're catching feelings and they aren't,
Speaker 3: it's a problem, is it not.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you don't want to be the only one in
Speaker 2: your feelings. Yeah.
Speaker 3: So I think a lot of times we may go
Speaker 3: into relationships or situations for different reasons.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 3: I think most women probably date with intents, Right, We're
Speaker 3: not just out here entertaining men without the hopes of
Speaker 3: the of the situation going to the next level. Right,
Speaker 3: But men oftentimes are dating to have sex, that's it.
Speaker 3: They might have five dates this week and instead of
Speaker 3: dating one person that they really like, who they know
Speaker 3: is going to give them some cucci, they're just dating
Speaker 3: five people to see how many they can get kuci
Speaker 3: from for the week.
Speaker 2: But I know it's women who date five people to
Speaker 2: have dinner.
Speaker 3: All week, call those dinner wars. And that's fine too,
Speaker 3: But at least one of those dudes she actually likes
Speaker 3: and is probably not trying to play with like that. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I agree, But so how do you avoid catching feelings
Speaker 3: for someone? Isn't always entirely within your control, But here
Speaker 3: are some strategies to help minimize the chances. And this
Speaker 3: is and this could be if you're dating multiple people
Speaker 3: and you're really trying to I feel like sometimes black
Speaker 3: women have attached issues. It could be all women, but
Speaker 3: I'm just saying for us, we're not used to dating, right,
Speaker 3: which you mean you get I think from childhood we're
Speaker 3: told to go to school, get money. We're not like
Speaker 3: dating how white girls get to date at a young age.
Speaker 3: So once we get like people, we'd be holding on
Speaker 3: to them or really like we stay in situations, relationships
Speaker 3: too long, let them go and move on to the
Speaker 3: next person. So you can you know, as you're doing this,
Speaker 3: you're you're seeing what it is that you want, what
Speaker 3: you don't want. You're not staying in a bad situation
Speaker 3: too fucking long and missing blessings and all the good shit,
Speaker 3: missing the person you're actually supposed to be.
Speaker 2: I never took them on a date, and that's crazy.
Speaker 3: And you're hallucinating like now you're now you have feelings
Speaker 3: with somebody who has done nothing for you, nothing emotionally,
Speaker 3: nothing financially, nothing.
Speaker 2: Just dicking you down.
Speaker 3: That's it.
Speaker 2: And if you hear it, say you know that you bitch,
Speaker 2: you better leader, Nigga long before thee here.
Speaker 3: But even getting dicked down, Like, how do you avoid
Speaker 3: emotions when getting dicked down? Like I don't hallucinate even
Speaker 3: when I'm getting good dick from somebody At the minute
Speaker 3: I see some shit I don't like, like nowadays, and
Speaker 3: it's it's a place I had to get to. It
Speaker 3: doesn't happen overnight. You just turn your emotions off like
Speaker 3: that overnight.
Speaker 2: Oh No, that don't work for me. That's why I
Speaker 2: have to be very selective about who I get my
Speaker 2: pussy to, because as soon as he hit it.
Speaker 3: I'd be like, we love. I'm a marrial. I can
Speaker 3: be like that one day and the next day I'm not.
Speaker 3: So maybe there's some Gemini shit. I don't know. I
Speaker 3: got a high tolerance for some motion. And then I'll
Speaker 3: wake and be like I don't want this anymore, see
Speaker 3: and I'm out cold turkey and nigga real quick.
Speaker 2: It takes me a long time to really, really really
Speaker 2: be locked in. But once I'm locked in, it's hard
Speaker 2: to get me away. Like we go together, Nigga, where
Speaker 2: you thought you was going?
Speaker 3: It depends on how we had sex. If we use
Speaker 3: the condom. I'm not studying your ass. Real, you start
Speaker 3: hitting that pussy rod, you're my husband? Where are you?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 3: What you thought?
Speaker 2: This one? Now? It don't make no difference for me.
Speaker 3: Nah, It make it like I'm not studying. No condom, Dick.
Speaker 3: I don't feel like I lost anything. It don't count.
Speaker 2: And we use the condom all are you guys? We're back?
Speaker 2: And I hit up AJ because I had got a
Speaker 2: message from someone and she asked me, did I feel
Speaker 2: like pity pussy was a real thing? Because she felt
Speaker 2: like she just gave up some and I was like, well,
Speaker 2: what you mean? And she shared with me how a
Speaker 2: guy from her job that she communicates with and they
Speaker 2: talk all the time and he's a really She's like, oh,
Speaker 2: he's a really nice guy. That's how she described him.
Speaker 2: But she like they were watching a movie or something
Speaker 2: and his internet went out and he started like trying
Speaker 2: to get that bulls and she ended up giving it
Speaker 2: to him, but not because she wanted to. She just
Speaker 2: pitied him. So she gave him so and she said
Speaker 2: it wasn't good and she didn't enjoy it, but she
Speaker 2: just felt so sorry for her, so she gave him
Speaker 2: some Kouchie, and I was like mm mm, So it
Speaker 2: made me think about like the idea of what pity
Speaker 2: pussy is, and so I hit aj up so we
Speaker 2: can talk about it.
Speaker 3: What's pretty Yeah, because I've definitely given a man pity
Speaker 3: pussy before and then I didn't talk to him again. Really,
Speaker 3: she has to work with this guy, Yes, I have definitely.
Speaker 3: You know it's and I talked about this on my
Speaker 3: homeboy Von Ray's podcast, Set the record straight. How I
Speaker 3: think this happens to women a lot and men may
Speaker 3: not consider it kind of like it's almost like a
Speaker 3: situation where you're you're in a closes setting with a man.
Speaker 3: And this is why I'm against women. If you don't
Speaker 3: want to have sex with a man in any capacity,
Speaker 3: do not put yourself in a clothes setting with him.
Speaker 3: You know, it's not technically, it's not a forced situation,
Speaker 3: but if you had a choice, you probably would not
Speaker 3: have done it. I really you should have just made me,
Speaker 3: and you do have a choice. A lot of times
Speaker 3: women don't know how to get out the situation though.
Speaker 3: How do you just without hurting this man's ego? How
Speaker 3: do you leave? You know what I'm saying, like some
Speaker 3: women don't know like that viral and daves me. Some
Speaker 3: women don't know how cause I can tell you in
Speaker 3: that situation, like I didn't know how to just get
Speaker 3: the fuck up out of there. I just let it
Speaker 3: happen and I just didn't talk to him again because
Speaker 3: you you put the pressure on so fucking heavy that
Speaker 3: I just went ahead and had sex with you when
Speaker 3: I really didn't want to. And maybe I would have
Speaker 3: want to fuck you know a month from now. You
Speaker 3: didn't let me even get to like you enough to
Speaker 3: want to have sex with you. So now I had
Speaker 3: sex with you without liking your ass for real, and
Speaker 3: I'm out of there. Nigga blocks So it happen.
Speaker 2: But is that pity sex or is it just like
Speaker 2: they're almost hair nigga?
Speaker 3: It's almost borderline kind of Yeah, r it.
Speaker 2: Sounds rapist, Can I say that?
Speaker 3: Yes? I said that before, right, so maybe you bleep it.
Speaker 3: But it is a little bit. It's it's a great
Speaker 3: area situation as some women end up in. And I
Speaker 3: and I'm saying this is in my younger days, this
Speaker 3: is not recently, because I don't think we should have
Speaker 3: nigga to death nowadays, I'm out of there. I'm out
Speaker 3: of there. But young girls like sometimes they don't know
Speaker 3: how to find themselves out of those situations, which is
Speaker 3: why I just don't put yourself in there in it
Speaker 3: because if you go to a man's house like they
Speaker 3: automatically think, think you know it's right and don't.
Speaker 2: Like a nigga said he want to cook for you
Speaker 2: if he is not a chef and went to culinary school,
Speaker 2: don't go over there.
Speaker 3: Exactly went out, you know, in the he cut his
Speaker 3: internet off. That exactly from the app on his cell phone.
Speaker 3: He cut the internet service. TV went out. I'm the
Speaker 3: fuck like that. You're not about to watch Netflix to
Speaker 3: death me? Okay, right, that's what happened. I'm pretty sure
Speaker 3: she gave him.
Speaker 2: Some minute, but she said it like it sounds like
Speaker 2: because she sent me voice notes, it sounded like pity
Speaker 2: pussy cause it was like, oh but he's so nice,
Speaker 2: they feel so bad for him. I don't ever want
Speaker 2: to give out Bill Johnna. That goes with that tone,
Speaker 2: you know, and what.
Speaker 3: Man actually wants. Like, well, actually we had a man
Speaker 3: on who said he's okay with pitty pussy, Like here
Speaker 3: you hear nigga hit us pussy, Like, why do you
Speaker 3: not want the woman to also enjoy it? And I
Speaker 3: think men know when we are giving them pitty pussy,
Speaker 3: But do they give a fuck? I don't think so.
Speaker 3: They don't think.
Speaker 2: They don't care as long as they hitting it, they
Speaker 2: don't care what kind it is.
Speaker 3: All right, y'all were back, and we want to know,
Speaker 3: are you a girls girl?
Speaker 2: Damn?
Speaker 3: Do you think you're a girl's girl.
Speaker 2: I'm absolutely a girl's girl.
Speaker 3: I think I am too, okay, based on the characteristics
Speaker 3: of what a girl's girl is. But this is like
Speaker 3: a whole new trending thing online, y'all. And anytime somebody
Speaker 3: just does anything like to disagree with a woman, people
Speaker 3: in the comments like, oh she is not a girl's girl. Now,
Speaker 3: that's one thing I don't agree with. Like everybody ain't
Speaker 3: gonna like everybody, right, you could be pleasant to everyone, right,
Speaker 3: this girl, Christina Mackie, people are saying that she's not
Speaker 3: a girl's girl, she's actually a pigmy, which I consider
Speaker 3: the counter for girls girl tam. Thing's different, though, So
Speaker 3: what is a girl's girl to you?
Speaker 2: To me? I guess a girl's girl to me is
Speaker 2: someone who advocates for women in all ways, you know,
Speaker 2: like even the smallest of things, just seeing a woman
Speaker 2: walking down the street and there pretty dressing, like yes,
Speaker 2: okay dress, you know, just just their energy, you know,
Speaker 2: always advocating for women and spreading love.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I call it a hype girl, because bitch, I'd
Speaker 3: be hyping bitches up. Okay, even if I don't know you,
Speaker 3: like I'm in your comments, like if you look good,
Speaker 3: like hey, girl, you look good. Da da da da,
Speaker 3: even on the streets. Those are That's what I consider
Speaker 3: like one of the characteristics of a girl's girl.
Speaker 2: Right, But that's the most basic, Like if you if
Speaker 2: you fuck with another girl's man, can you call yourself
Speaker 2: a girl's girl?
Speaker 3: No, No, I have. So I made a list. I
Speaker 3: made well kind of sorder, uh, And part of my
Speaker 3: list is like things where you might not be considered
Speaker 3: a girl's girl if you do these things. And then
Speaker 3: I have like the internet definition of a girl's girl.
Speaker 3: So this I forgot where I got this from. But
Speaker 3: a girl's girl typically refers to a woman who is supportive, understanding,
Speaker 3: and friendly to wars other women, and implies a strong
Speaker 3: sense of camaraderie and solidarity amongst women. That's a basic
Speaker 3: definition of what a girl's girl is. I'm definitely a
Speaker 3: girl's girl. Niggas really be trying to get me to
Speaker 3: not be a girl's girl though, and those where like
Speaker 3: pick mees are people who pander to men for the
Speaker 3: approval of men. I have a lot of guy friends
Speaker 3: who send me dms all the time trying to disparage
Speaker 3: women because we talk a lot of shit about men
Speaker 3: and women on this podcast. But I'm a black woman first,
Speaker 3: so I'm always gonna show up for us. Right.
Speaker 2: It's definitely if you can put somebody in position, you know,
Speaker 2: and then take that opportunity to do it, that's definitely
Speaker 2: a girl's girl. Now, some of these lists was almost
Speaker 2: sound like lesbian, like the only way you could be
Speaker 2: a girl's girl is if you like eating pussy to
Speaker 2: you or that that's not necessarily true. Like it was
Speaker 2: like girls girls like hate men and that's not true,
Speaker 2: Like you can be a girl's girl and love men.
Speaker 2: But all right, so you were saying that, like it's
Speaker 2: a pick me is like someone who panders to men,
Speaker 2: or like women who say like I'm a guys girl,
Speaker 2: like I like, I'm cooler with guys than I am women.
Speaker 2: Do you feel like they're pigmies?
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I don't. Those are guys girls, Those aren't
Speaker 3: girls girls, Because one of the characteristics of a pick
Speaker 3: me would be someone who says, I don't have female friends.
Speaker 3: That's a guys girl. I don't have female friends. I
Speaker 3: only hang around guys. And the women I know that
Speaker 3: you know, stand on that they oftentimes that has sex
Speaker 3: with multiple of them, homeboys of theirs that you be
Speaker 3: hanging out with, and they just be delusionaling fucking ugly
Speaker 3: inside and out, Like I don't. I don't like women
Speaker 3: who don't like other women. Pause. Yeah, not the palls, Yeah,
Speaker 3: because how do you get through life without your girlfriends? Yeah?
Speaker 2: I always find it weird, Like if I meet a
Speaker 2: woman who don't have if they wasn't a military brand,
Speaker 2: you know, who travel like always moving, if you don't
Speaker 2: have nobody that you grew up with as a friend,
Speaker 2: not even one, I beside, I am bitches like that,
Speaker 2: like where's your homegirls at? Where's your childhood friends? Like?
Speaker 2: How do you not have any?
Speaker 3: When I think about the women that I no longer
Speaker 3: have relationships with, like who I considered like best friends
Speaker 3: at the time, they don't have any childhood friends, They
Speaker 3: don't have any consistent friends. They have add water for
Speaker 3: instant friends. Every three to six months, you hanging out
Speaker 3: with a different group of people. Those are wishy washy people.
Speaker 3: Like when I make friends with somebody, oftentimes I'm friend
Speaker 3: with friends with them forever.
Speaker 2: So oh, you know, I can't say the same. I
Speaker 2: have relationships that I've outgrown in different ways, like not
Speaker 2: because they're bad people or but it just wasn't As
Speaker 2: we got older, our path just took us different places.
Speaker 2: So I can't necessarily say that I have everybody that
Speaker 2: I've been friends with, you know, some of them just
Speaker 2: we not like that no more. And it ain't no beef,
Speaker 2: you know, it's just life. And then I do have
Speaker 2: relationships or I've had relationships with people where I had
Speaker 2: to exit them for my life for whatever reason, it
Speaker 2: just wasn't healthy. And I'm talking about people who were
Speaker 2: close to me, you know, very close to me, and
Speaker 2: I just it wasn't healthy. The dynamic was no longer
Speaker 2: suiting my life, so I had to exit them, you know.
Speaker 2: And people I still love very much, you know, and
Speaker 2: I still might inquire about, you know, are they good
Speaker 2: and I want them to be good, But bitch, I
Speaker 2: don't fuck with you like that. You know, you don't
Speaker 2: have people in your life like that.
Speaker 3: I have an ex friend and who I consider a
Speaker 3: family member. I consider her like my a sister, a
Speaker 3: family member who I don't fuck with, who I don't
Speaker 3: talk to no more. I don't care about her well
Speaker 3: being and how she's doing. But she's not a good friend.
Speaker 3: She's really not a good person, so I mean, and
Speaker 3: she always got a different group of friends. Don't have
Speaker 3: no childhood friends for real. That's that's weird to me.
Speaker 3: And I still have stories about her friendships with other
Speaker 3: women till this to this day, like issues and be
Speaker 3: falling out at some point. You gotta look at you
Speaker 3: at some point.
Speaker 2: Right right, Absolutely, I'll be falling out with bitches. But
Speaker 2: typically we always come back together. But people don't, you know,
Speaker 2: People either love or hate how forward I am at
Speaker 2: times like it either is like okay, I fuck with
Speaker 2: this or I can I can only deal with this
Speaker 2: bitch in doses or I can't deal with this bitch all.
Speaker 2: But they have. Most the people who are very close
Speaker 2: with it still understand that even with my bluntness is
Speaker 2: coming from a place I love. It might come off aggressive,
Speaker 2: but it's not meant to be hurtful, and that's why
Speaker 2: they can still fuck with me.
Speaker 3: This is from TikTok. It says, in some ways, the
Speaker 3: rise of the Girls girls on TikTok is about pushing
Speaker 3: back against the notion that we need to separate ourselves
Speaker 3: from other women and craft personalities that are different from
Speaker 3: those of everyone else. You know how guys do like
Speaker 3: you're just so different from everybody else? Like how because
Speaker 3: I can give you thirty bitches in my phone that
Speaker 3: seemed just like me? Right, So it's like a tactic
Speaker 3: that men use that creates picknies, right, Like, you're so different.
Speaker 3: A lot of us have a lot of the same characteristics.
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying that when you start changing
Speaker 3: yourself completely to suit a male, that's when it becomes
Speaker 3: like pickmish, you're just going against all women, right.
Speaker 2: It's a lot of Yeah. I see a lot of
Speaker 2: videos of women like saying all these things about what
Speaker 2: women need to do, and some of it might be true,
Speaker 2: but then some of it does give off this energy
Speaker 2: that you're pandering to men, you know, in a real way,
Speaker 2: like you need to suck his dick every day when
Speaker 2: he come off from work. It don't matter what happened
Speaker 2: on some like what like, girl, what are you talking about?
Speaker 3: Absolutely not, that's a pick me.
Speaker 2: I'm not sucking nobody dick every.
Speaker 3: Day, right. So these are the things I came up
Speaker 3: with that I consider a girl's girl. So a girl's
Speaker 3: girl literally fixes each other's crown, even when you don't
Speaker 3: know the woman. So I if I see a woman
Speaker 3: with like toilet tissue coming at the bathroom on her shoe,
Speaker 3: I be like, girl, hold on, you go back out
Speaker 3: in the club. Okay, tags sticking out. I'm talking your
Speaker 3: tag and I don't know you hair out of place.
Speaker 3: I'm fixing your hair. Those are the type of thing lass.
Speaker 2: Is coming up your close your eye, your lash. Come,
Speaker 2: I got some glue.
Speaker 3: Girl, you know, like you already trying to make sure
Speaker 3: they're crying.
Speaker 2: Everybody on point is good?
Speaker 3: Right, Even women you don't know. With friends, you post
Speaker 3: the best pics, bitch, even if we I look fine
Speaker 3: as telling this picture, you look fucked up. I like
Speaker 3: this picture. It's the only picture we got. The picture
Speaker 3: ain't going up right, You don't look good?
Speaker 2: It right? Right?
Speaker 3: Right? And even catching candid photos of your friend when
Speaker 3: you think she looking good, like girl, it's a good picture.
Speaker 3: Stay right there, that's the girl's girl, right.
Speaker 2: But you know what, sometimes I somebody will post a
Speaker 2: picture of you that you they think look good at you,
Speaker 2: and you be like, bitch right, they don't look good right,
Speaker 2: and you should have read by me first.
Speaker 1: Once again, thank you for tuning into the Black Effect
Speaker 1: Podcast Network. See you in twenty twenty five for more
Speaker 1: great moments from your favorite podcast.