WEBVTT - Best Of We Talk Back 2024

0:00:00.040 --> 0:00:02.040
<v Speaker 1>Piece of the planet, Charlamagne to God here and as

0:00:02.040 --> 0:00:04.400
<v Speaker 1>we come closer to closing out this year, I just

0:00:04.400 --> 0:00:06.320
<v Speaker 1>want to say thank you for tuning into the Black

0:00:06.320 --> 0:00:08.920
<v Speaker 1>Effect podcast network. There have been so many great moments

0:00:08.960 --> 0:00:10.799
<v Speaker 1>over the past year. Take a listen to some of

0:00:10.840 --> 0:00:14.560
<v Speaker 1>those captivating moments in this special best of episode, Let's

0:00:14.560 --> 0:00:16.000
<v Speaker 1>Talk Talk.

0:00:16.320 --> 0:00:20.880
<v Speaker 2>We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion to talks.

0:00:23.720 --> 0:00:26.960
<v Speaker 3>How do you not catch feelings when dealing with men?

0:00:27.040 --> 0:00:30.800
<v Speaker 3>When dating? Is it possible to not catch feelings?

0:00:35.360 --> 0:00:35.479
<v Speaker 1>So?

0:00:35.920 --> 0:00:40.279
<v Speaker 3>I mean, you know, women, we are emotional beings, That's

0:00:40.280 --> 0:00:43.199
<v Speaker 3>what niggas be saying. But I feel like men are

0:00:43.280 --> 0:00:49.239
<v Speaker 3>actually way more emotional than us. But sometimes we might

0:00:49.280 --> 0:00:53.840
<v Speaker 3>hallucinate a little bit. Sometimes we may get things misconscrewed

0:00:53.920 --> 0:00:59.080
<v Speaker 3>when engaging with the opposite second, So how do you

0:00:59.120 --> 0:01:01.640
<v Speaker 3>We've already had an episode on dating and like the

0:01:01.800 --> 0:01:04.760
<v Speaker 3>different levels of dating, But how do you actually date

0:01:04.800 --> 0:01:09.040
<v Speaker 3>without catching feelings for someone?

0:01:09.280 --> 0:01:12.160
<v Speaker 2>But let me ask you this, Why are we dating

0:01:12.480 --> 0:01:15.160
<v Speaker 2>and not trying to catch feelings? That's what I don't understand, Like,

0:01:15.840 --> 0:01:19.720
<v Speaker 2>my whole goal is to always catch feelings.

0:01:21.000 --> 0:01:25.680
<v Speaker 3>Sometimes women catch feelings with everybody that they're dating, though

0:01:25.800 --> 0:01:29.360
<v Speaker 3>that's the problem if you're not dating multiple people at

0:01:29.360 --> 0:01:32.560
<v Speaker 3>one time. I'm saying, like, if you're honing in on

0:01:32.600 --> 0:01:36.039
<v Speaker 3>this one person and you're catching feelings and they aren't,

0:01:36.480 --> 0:01:40.399
<v Speaker 3>it's a problem, is it not.

0:01:41.160 --> 0:01:43.120
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you don't want to be the only one in

0:01:43.160 --> 0:01:45.039
<v Speaker 2>your feelings. Yeah.

0:01:45.080 --> 0:01:47.200
<v Speaker 3>So I think a lot of times we may go

0:01:47.240 --> 0:01:51.360
<v Speaker 3>into relationships or situations for different reasons.

0:01:51.440 --> 0:01:51.640
<v Speaker 2>Right.

0:01:51.920 --> 0:01:54.960
<v Speaker 3>I think most women probably date with intents, Right, We're

0:01:55.000 --> 0:01:58.280
<v Speaker 3>not just out here entertaining men without the hopes of

0:01:58.480 --> 0:02:01.280
<v Speaker 3>the of the situation going to the next level. Right,

0:02:01.400 --> 0:02:06.279
<v Speaker 3>But men oftentimes are dating to have sex, that's it.

0:02:06.400 --> 0:02:09.720
<v Speaker 3>They might have five dates this week and instead of

0:02:10.120 --> 0:02:14.040
<v Speaker 3>dating one person that they really like, who they know

0:02:14.120 --> 0:02:16.960
<v Speaker 3>is going to give them some cucci, they're just dating

0:02:17.080 --> 0:02:21.359
<v Speaker 3>five people to see how many they can get kuci

0:02:21.440 --> 0:02:22.120
<v Speaker 3>from for the week.

0:02:22.240 --> 0:02:26.919
<v Speaker 2>But I know it's women who date five people to

0:02:26.960 --> 0:02:27.799
<v Speaker 2>have dinner.

0:02:27.680 --> 0:02:33.760
<v Speaker 3>All week, call those dinner wars. And that's fine too,

0:02:33.840 --> 0:02:36.000
<v Speaker 3>But at least one of those dudes she actually likes

0:02:36.000 --> 0:02:38.320
<v Speaker 3>and is probably not trying to play with like that. Yeah,

0:02:39.280 --> 0:02:43.120
<v Speaker 3>I agree, But so how do you avoid catching feelings

0:02:43.120 --> 0:02:47.119
<v Speaker 3>for someone? Isn't always entirely within your control, But here

0:02:47.160 --> 0:02:53.000
<v Speaker 3>are some strategies to help minimize the chances. And this

0:02:53.080 --> 0:02:55.600
<v Speaker 3>is and this could be if you're dating multiple people

0:02:55.639 --> 0:02:58.720
<v Speaker 3>and you're really trying to I feel like sometimes black

0:02:58.760 --> 0:03:01.560
<v Speaker 3>women have attached issues. It could be all women, but

0:03:01.639 --> 0:03:06.160
<v Speaker 3>I'm just saying for us, we're not used to dating, right,

0:03:07.120 --> 0:03:10.840
<v Speaker 3>which you mean you get I think from childhood we're

0:03:10.840 --> 0:03:16.360
<v Speaker 3>told to go to school, get money. We're not like

0:03:16.600 --> 0:03:20.840
<v Speaker 3>dating how white girls get to date at a young age.

0:03:21.320 --> 0:03:24.240
<v Speaker 3>So once we get like people, we'd be holding on

0:03:24.320 --> 0:03:27.279
<v Speaker 3>to them or really like we stay in situations, relationships

0:03:27.320 --> 0:03:29.480
<v Speaker 3>too long, let them go and move on to the

0:03:29.520 --> 0:03:31.840
<v Speaker 3>next person. So you can you know, as you're doing this,

0:03:31.919 --> 0:03:34.760
<v Speaker 3>you're you're seeing what it is that you want, what

0:03:34.800 --> 0:03:36.800
<v Speaker 3>you don't want. You're not staying in a bad situation

0:03:36.920 --> 0:03:39.200
<v Speaker 3>too fucking long and missing blessings and all the good shit,

0:03:39.760 --> 0:03:42.040
<v Speaker 3>missing the person you're actually supposed to be.

0:03:43.080 --> 0:03:46.080
<v Speaker 2>I never took them on a date, and that's crazy.

0:03:46.440 --> 0:03:49.800
<v Speaker 3>And you're hallucinating like now you're now you have feelings

0:03:49.800 --> 0:03:54.000
<v Speaker 3>with somebody who has done nothing for you, nothing emotionally,

0:03:54.120 --> 0:03:56.120
<v Speaker 3>nothing financially, nothing.

0:03:56.160 --> 0:03:57.240
<v Speaker 2>Just dicking you down.

0:03:57.880 --> 0:03:58.320
<v Speaker 3>That's it.

0:03:59.200 --> 0:04:01.200
<v Speaker 2>And if you hear it, say you know that you bitch,

0:04:01.240 --> 0:04:03.600
<v Speaker 2>you better leader, Nigga long before thee here.

0:04:04.040 --> 0:04:06.360
<v Speaker 3>But even getting dicked down, Like, how do you avoid

0:04:06.840 --> 0:04:11.040
<v Speaker 3>emotions when getting dicked down? Like I don't hallucinate even

0:04:11.040 --> 0:04:13.680
<v Speaker 3>when I'm getting good dick from somebody At the minute

0:04:13.720 --> 0:04:16.080
<v Speaker 3>I see some shit I don't like, like nowadays, and

0:04:16.120 --> 0:04:17.960
<v Speaker 3>it's it's a place I had to get to. It

0:04:18.000 --> 0:04:21.760
<v Speaker 3>doesn't happen overnight. You just turn your emotions off like

0:04:21.800 --> 0:04:22.960
<v Speaker 3>that overnight.

0:04:23.040 --> 0:04:24.560
<v Speaker 2>Oh No, that don't work for me. That's why I

0:04:24.600 --> 0:04:26.599
<v Speaker 2>have to be very selective about who I get my

0:04:26.680 --> 0:04:29.040
<v Speaker 2>pussy to, because as soon as he hit it.

0:04:29.000 --> 0:04:34.320
<v Speaker 3>I'd be like, we love. I'm a marrial. I can

0:04:34.360 --> 0:04:36.160
<v Speaker 3>be like that one day and the next day I'm not.

0:04:37.120 --> 0:04:40.359
<v Speaker 3>So maybe there's some Gemini shit. I don't know. I

0:04:40.360 --> 0:04:42.400
<v Speaker 3>got a high tolerance for some motion. And then I'll

0:04:42.480 --> 0:04:45.919
<v Speaker 3>wake and be like I don't want this anymore, see

0:04:46.320 --> 0:04:49.080
<v Speaker 3>and I'm out cold turkey and nigga real quick.

0:04:49.160 --> 0:04:53.119
<v Speaker 2>It takes me a long time to really, really really

0:04:53.120 --> 0:04:55.039
<v Speaker 2>be locked in. But once I'm locked in, it's hard

0:04:55.040 --> 0:04:59.200
<v Speaker 2>to get me away. Like we go together, Nigga, where

0:04:59.240 --> 0:04:59.960
<v Speaker 2>you thought you was going?

0:05:01.240 --> 0:05:03.720
<v Speaker 3>It depends on how we had sex. If we use

0:05:03.800 --> 0:05:07.599
<v Speaker 3>the condom. I'm not studying your ass. Real, you start

0:05:07.680 --> 0:05:10.279
<v Speaker 3>hitting that pussy rod, you're my husband? Where are you?

0:05:10.400 --> 0:05:10.520
<v Speaker 2>Like?

0:05:11.000 --> 0:05:11.560
<v Speaker 3>What you thought?

0:05:11.560 --> 0:05:13.280
<v Speaker 2>This one? Now? It don't make no difference for me.

0:05:14.080 --> 0:05:16.599
<v Speaker 3>Nah, It make it like I'm not studying. No condom, Dick.

0:05:17.680 --> 0:05:20.400
<v Speaker 3>I don't feel like I lost anything. It don't count.

0:05:20.480 --> 0:05:27.080
<v Speaker 2>And we use the condom all are you guys? We're back?

0:05:27.520 --> 0:05:30.320
<v Speaker 2>And I hit up AJ because I had got a

0:05:30.400 --> 0:05:34.120
<v Speaker 2>message from someone and she asked me, did I feel

0:05:34.160 --> 0:05:36.440
<v Speaker 2>like pity pussy was a real thing? Because she felt

0:05:36.480 --> 0:05:38.680
<v Speaker 2>like she just gave up some and I was like, well,

0:05:38.720 --> 0:05:42.560
<v Speaker 2>what you mean? And she shared with me how a

0:05:42.640 --> 0:05:45.760
<v Speaker 2>guy from her job that she communicates with and they

0:05:45.800 --> 0:05:49.000
<v Speaker 2>talk all the time and he's a really She's like, oh,

0:05:49.040 --> 0:05:51.760
<v Speaker 2>he's a really nice guy. That's how she described him.

0:05:52.160 --> 0:05:56.000
<v Speaker 2>But she like they were watching a movie or something

0:05:56.080 --> 0:05:59.640
<v Speaker 2>and his internet went out and he started like trying

0:05:59.640 --> 0:06:03.359
<v Speaker 2>to get that bulls and she ended up giving it

0:06:03.400 --> 0:06:05.840
<v Speaker 2>to him, but not because she wanted to. She just

0:06:06.000 --> 0:06:09.800
<v Speaker 2>pitied him. So she gave him so and she said

0:06:09.800 --> 0:06:11.880
<v Speaker 2>it wasn't good and she didn't enjoy it, but she

0:06:12.000 --> 0:06:15.400
<v Speaker 2>just felt so sorry for her, so she gave him

0:06:15.440 --> 0:06:19.479
<v Speaker 2>some Kouchie, and I was like mm mm, So it

0:06:19.560 --> 0:06:22.200
<v Speaker 2>made me think about like the idea of what pity

0:06:22.240 --> 0:06:25.240
<v Speaker 2>pussy is, and so I hit aj up so we

0:06:25.240 --> 0:06:26.120
<v Speaker 2>can talk about it.

0:06:26.880 --> 0:06:30.799
<v Speaker 3>What's pretty Yeah, because I've definitely given a man pity

0:06:30.800 --> 0:06:35.839
<v Speaker 3>pussy before and then I didn't talk to him again. Really,

0:06:36.040 --> 0:06:40.640
<v Speaker 3>she has to work with this guy, Yes, I have definitely.

0:06:40.800 --> 0:06:43.279
<v Speaker 3>You know it's and I talked about this on my

0:06:43.360 --> 0:06:48.880
<v Speaker 3>homeboy Von Ray's podcast, Set the record straight. How I

0:06:48.920 --> 0:06:51.880
<v Speaker 3>think this happens to women a lot and men may

0:06:51.920 --> 0:06:54.839
<v Speaker 3>not consider it kind of like it's almost like a

0:06:54.880 --> 0:06:57.560
<v Speaker 3>situation where you're you're in a closes setting with a man.

0:06:57.600 --> 0:06:59.839
<v Speaker 3>And this is why I'm against women. If you don't

0:06:59.839 --> 0:07:01.760
<v Speaker 3>want to have sex with a man in any capacity,

0:07:01.839 --> 0:07:04.200
<v Speaker 3>do not put yourself in a clothes setting with him.

0:07:04.440 --> 0:07:09.400
<v Speaker 3>You know, it's not technically, it's not a forced situation,

0:07:10.120 --> 0:07:13.000
<v Speaker 3>but if you had a choice, you probably would not

0:07:13.000 --> 0:07:14.640
<v Speaker 3>have done it. I really you should have just made me,

0:07:14.720 --> 0:07:17.160
<v Speaker 3>and you do have a choice. A lot of times

0:07:17.160 --> 0:07:19.320
<v Speaker 3>women don't know how to get out the situation though.

0:07:19.360 --> 0:07:22.040
<v Speaker 3>How do you just without hurting this man's ego? How

0:07:22.040 --> 0:07:24.440
<v Speaker 3>do you leave? You know what I'm saying, like some

0:07:24.520 --> 0:07:28.840
<v Speaker 3>women don't know like that viral and daves me. Some

0:07:28.920 --> 0:07:31.560
<v Speaker 3>women don't know how cause I can tell you in

0:07:32.160 --> 0:07:34.440
<v Speaker 3>that situation, like I didn't know how to just get

0:07:34.480 --> 0:07:35.960
<v Speaker 3>the fuck up out of there. I just let it

0:07:36.040 --> 0:07:38.520
<v Speaker 3>happen and I just didn't talk to him again because

0:07:38.560 --> 0:07:41.200
<v Speaker 3>you you put the pressure on so fucking heavy that

0:07:41.280 --> 0:07:43.000
<v Speaker 3>I just went ahead and had sex with you when

0:07:43.040 --> 0:07:44.760
<v Speaker 3>I really didn't want to. And maybe I would have

0:07:44.760 --> 0:07:46.800
<v Speaker 3>want to fuck you know a month from now. You

0:07:46.840 --> 0:07:49.120
<v Speaker 3>didn't let me even get to like you enough to

0:07:49.240 --> 0:07:50.880
<v Speaker 3>want to have sex with you. So now I had

0:07:50.920 --> 0:07:54.240
<v Speaker 3>sex with you without liking your ass for real, and

0:07:54.320 --> 0:07:56.679
<v Speaker 3>I'm out of there. Nigga blocks So it happen.

0:07:57.000 --> 0:07:59.600
<v Speaker 2>But is that pity sex or is it just like

0:08:00.680 --> 0:08:03.080
<v Speaker 2>they're almost hair nigga?

0:08:03.240 --> 0:08:06.760
<v Speaker 3>It's almost borderline kind of Yeah, r it.

0:08:06.760 --> 0:08:08.560
<v Speaker 2>Sounds rapist, Can I say that?

0:08:08.680 --> 0:08:13.160
<v Speaker 3>Yes? I said that before, right, so maybe you bleep it.

0:08:13.200 --> 0:08:15.960
<v Speaker 3>But it is a little bit. It's it's a great

0:08:16.080 --> 0:08:18.800
<v Speaker 3>area situation as some women end up in. And I

0:08:18.840 --> 0:08:20.640
<v Speaker 3>and I'm saying this is in my younger days, this

0:08:20.720 --> 0:08:24.200
<v Speaker 3>is not recently, because I don't think we should have

0:08:24.240 --> 0:08:28.280
<v Speaker 3>nigga to death nowadays, I'm out of there. I'm out

0:08:28.280 --> 0:08:30.880
<v Speaker 3>of there. But young girls like sometimes they don't know

0:08:30.920 --> 0:08:33.360
<v Speaker 3>how to find themselves out of those situations, which is

0:08:33.360 --> 0:08:35.520
<v Speaker 3>why I just don't put yourself in there in it

0:08:35.559 --> 0:08:37.319
<v Speaker 3>because if you go to a man's house like they

0:08:37.360 --> 0:08:41.319
<v Speaker 3>automatically think, think you know it's right and don't.

0:08:40.800 --> 0:08:42.320
<v Speaker 2>Like a nigga said he want to cook for you

0:08:42.400 --> 0:08:45.320
<v Speaker 2>if he is not a chef and went to culinary school,

0:08:46.080 --> 0:08:47.040
<v Speaker 2>don't go over there.

0:08:48.800 --> 0:08:53.480
<v Speaker 3>Exactly went out, you know, in the he cut his

0:08:53.559 --> 0:08:57.439
<v Speaker 3>internet off. That exactly from the app on his cell phone.

0:08:57.600 --> 0:09:00.280
<v Speaker 3>He cut the internet service. TV went out. I'm the

0:09:00.280 --> 0:09:02.960
<v Speaker 3>fuck like that. You're not about to watch Netflix to

0:09:03.040 --> 0:09:07.480
<v Speaker 3>death me? Okay, right, that's what happened. I'm pretty sure

0:09:08.679 --> 0:09:09.400
<v Speaker 3>she gave him.

0:09:09.240 --> 0:09:12.880
<v Speaker 2>Some minute, but she said it like it sounds like

0:09:13.440 --> 0:09:16.840
<v Speaker 2>because she sent me voice notes, it sounded like pity

0:09:17.360 --> 0:09:20.480
<v Speaker 2>pussy cause it was like, oh but he's so nice,

0:09:20.600 --> 0:09:24.839
<v Speaker 2>they feel so bad for him. I don't ever want

0:09:24.880 --> 0:09:27.880
<v Speaker 2>to give out Bill Johnna. That goes with that tone,

0:09:28.559 --> 0:09:31.719
<v Speaker 2>you know, and what.

0:09:31.880 --> 0:09:34.880
<v Speaker 3>Man actually wants. Like, well, actually we had a man

0:09:34.960 --> 0:09:37.480
<v Speaker 3>on who said he's okay with pitty pussy, Like here

0:09:37.679 --> 0:09:39.880
<v Speaker 3>you hear nigga hit us pussy, Like, why do you

0:09:39.920 --> 0:09:42.840
<v Speaker 3>not want the woman to also enjoy it? And I

0:09:42.840 --> 0:09:45.360
<v Speaker 3>think men know when we are giving them pitty pussy,

0:09:45.360 --> 0:09:46.960
<v Speaker 3>But do they give a fuck? I don't think so.

0:09:47.200 --> 0:09:47.719
<v Speaker 3>They don't think.

0:09:47.760 --> 0:09:50.000
<v Speaker 2>They don't care as long as they hitting it, they

0:09:50.040 --> 0:09:51.120
<v Speaker 2>don't care what kind it is.

0:09:55.760 --> 0:09:58.719
<v Speaker 3>All right, y'all were back, and we want to know,

0:09:59.040 --> 0:10:00.280
<v Speaker 3>are you a girls girl?

0:10:00.440 --> 0:10:00.720
<v Speaker 2>Damn?

0:10:00.760 --> 0:10:02.079
<v Speaker 3>Do you think you're a girl's girl.

0:10:03.440 --> 0:10:05.000
<v Speaker 2>I'm absolutely a girl's girl.

0:10:05.120 --> 0:10:08.040
<v Speaker 3>I think I am too, okay, based on the characteristics

0:10:08.040 --> 0:10:11.520
<v Speaker 3>of what a girl's girl is. But this is like

0:10:11.559 --> 0:10:16.080
<v Speaker 3>a whole new trending thing online, y'all. And anytime somebody

0:10:16.160 --> 0:10:19.360
<v Speaker 3>just does anything like to disagree with a woman, people

0:10:19.360 --> 0:10:21.880
<v Speaker 3>in the comments like, oh she is not a girl's girl. Now,

0:10:21.920 --> 0:10:24.440
<v Speaker 3>that's one thing I don't agree with. Like everybody ain't

0:10:24.440 --> 0:10:30.640
<v Speaker 3>gonna like everybody, right, you could be pleasant to everyone, right,

0:10:32.960 --> 0:10:36.320
<v Speaker 3>this girl, Christina Mackie, people are saying that she's not

0:10:36.360 --> 0:10:39.200
<v Speaker 3>a girl's girl, she's actually a pigmy, which I consider

0:10:39.480 --> 0:10:46.560
<v Speaker 3>the counter for girls girl tam. Thing's different, though, So

0:10:46.720 --> 0:10:48.520
<v Speaker 3>what is a girl's girl to you?

0:10:50.679 --> 0:10:54.600
<v Speaker 2>To me? I guess a girl's girl to me is

0:10:55.200 --> 0:10:57.920
<v Speaker 2>someone who advocates for women in all ways, you know,

0:10:58.040 --> 0:11:01.280
<v Speaker 2>like even the smallest of things, just seeing a woman

0:11:01.320 --> 0:11:03.520
<v Speaker 2>walking down the street and there pretty dressing, like yes,

0:11:03.760 --> 0:11:07.200
<v Speaker 2>okay dress, you know, just just their energy, you know,

0:11:07.400 --> 0:11:10.640
<v Speaker 2>always advocating for women and spreading love.

0:11:10.840 --> 0:11:13.880
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I call it a hype girl, because bitch, I'd

0:11:13.880 --> 0:11:16.319
<v Speaker 3>be hyping bitches up. Okay, even if I don't know you,

0:11:16.360 --> 0:11:17.959
<v Speaker 3>like I'm in your comments, like if you look good,

0:11:18.080 --> 0:11:20.280
<v Speaker 3>like hey, girl, you look good. Da da da da,

0:11:20.679 --> 0:11:24.120
<v Speaker 3>even on the streets. Those are That's what I consider

0:11:24.200 --> 0:11:28.600
<v Speaker 3>like one of the characteristics of a girl's girl.

0:11:29.240 --> 0:11:32.480
<v Speaker 2>Right, But that's the most basic, Like if you if

0:11:32.520 --> 0:11:36.720
<v Speaker 2>you fuck with another girl's man, can you call yourself

0:11:36.720 --> 0:11:37.280
<v Speaker 2>a girl's girl?

0:11:37.360 --> 0:11:39.400
<v Speaker 3>No, No, I have. So I made a list. I

0:11:39.520 --> 0:11:42.000
<v Speaker 3>made well kind of sorder, uh, And part of my

0:11:42.080 --> 0:11:44.440
<v Speaker 3>list is like things where you might not be considered

0:11:44.480 --> 0:11:48.400
<v Speaker 3>a girl's girl if you do these things. And then

0:11:48.440 --> 0:11:50.840
<v Speaker 3>I have like the internet definition of a girl's girl.

0:11:50.920 --> 0:11:53.360
<v Speaker 3>So this I forgot where I got this from. But

0:11:53.920 --> 0:11:58.719
<v Speaker 3>a girl's girl typically refers to a woman who is supportive, understanding,

0:11:58.840 --> 0:12:02.280
<v Speaker 3>and friendly to wars other women, and implies a strong

0:12:02.360 --> 0:12:08.600
<v Speaker 3>sense of camaraderie and solidarity amongst women. That's a basic

0:12:09.080 --> 0:12:12.960
<v Speaker 3>definition of what a girl's girl is. I'm definitely a

0:12:13.000 --> 0:12:15.679
<v Speaker 3>girl's girl. Niggas really be trying to get me to

0:12:15.720 --> 0:12:18.440
<v Speaker 3>not be a girl's girl though, and those where like

0:12:18.559 --> 0:12:22.280
<v Speaker 3>pick mees are people who pander to men for the

0:12:22.320 --> 0:12:25.360
<v Speaker 3>approval of men. I have a lot of guy friends

0:12:25.400 --> 0:12:28.560
<v Speaker 3>who send me dms all the time trying to disparage

0:12:28.559 --> 0:12:30.320
<v Speaker 3>women because we talk a lot of shit about men

0:12:30.360 --> 0:12:33.720
<v Speaker 3>and women on this podcast. But I'm a black woman first,

0:12:34.200 --> 0:12:36.720
<v Speaker 3>so I'm always gonna show up for us. Right.

0:12:36.920 --> 0:12:41.840
<v Speaker 2>It's definitely if you can put somebody in position, you know,

0:12:41.960 --> 0:12:45.480
<v Speaker 2>and then take that opportunity to do it, that's definitely

0:12:45.480 --> 0:12:48.040
<v Speaker 2>a girl's girl. Now, some of these lists was almost

0:12:48.040 --> 0:12:50.400
<v Speaker 2>sound like lesbian, like the only way you could be

0:12:50.400 --> 0:12:52.640
<v Speaker 2>a girl's girl is if you like eating pussy to

0:12:52.720 --> 0:12:57.560
<v Speaker 2>you or that that's not necessarily true. Like it was

0:12:57.559 --> 0:13:01.199
<v Speaker 2>like girls girls like hate men and that's not true,

0:13:01.320 --> 0:13:03.320
<v Speaker 2>Like you can be a girl's girl and love men.

0:13:03.720 --> 0:13:06.160
<v Speaker 2>But all right, so you were saying that, like it's

0:13:06.320 --> 0:13:08.960
<v Speaker 2>a pick me is like someone who panders to men,

0:13:10.800 --> 0:13:14.240
<v Speaker 2>or like women who say like I'm a guys girl,

0:13:14.360 --> 0:13:18.839
<v Speaker 2>like I like, I'm cooler with guys than I am women.

0:13:19.280 --> 0:13:20.640
<v Speaker 2>Do you feel like they're pigmies?

0:13:21.960 --> 0:13:24.240
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and I don't. Those are guys girls, Those aren't

0:13:24.280 --> 0:13:29.959
<v Speaker 3>girls girls, Because one of the characteristics of a pick

0:13:30.040 --> 0:13:33.040
<v Speaker 3>me would be someone who says, I don't have female friends.

0:13:33.600 --> 0:13:36.800
<v Speaker 3>That's a guys girl. I don't have female friends. I

0:13:36.840 --> 0:13:40.160
<v Speaker 3>only hang around guys. And the women I know that

0:13:40.360 --> 0:13:43.680
<v Speaker 3>you know, stand on that they oftentimes that has sex

0:13:43.720 --> 0:13:48.520
<v Speaker 3>with multiple of them, homeboys of theirs that you be

0:13:48.520 --> 0:13:52.199
<v Speaker 3>hanging out with, and they just be delusionaling fucking ugly

0:13:52.559 --> 0:13:55.280
<v Speaker 3>inside and out, Like I don't. I don't like women

0:13:55.400 --> 0:14:01.920
<v Speaker 3>who don't like other women. Pause. Yeah, not the palls, Yeah,

0:14:01.960 --> 0:14:05.800
<v Speaker 3>because how do you get through life without your girlfriends? Yeah?

0:14:05.840 --> 0:14:07.720
<v Speaker 2>I always find it weird, Like if I meet a

0:14:07.760 --> 0:14:11.000
<v Speaker 2>woman who don't have if they wasn't a military brand,

0:14:11.240 --> 0:14:14.400
<v Speaker 2>you know, who travel like always moving, if you don't

0:14:14.440 --> 0:14:17.280
<v Speaker 2>have nobody that you grew up with as a friend,

0:14:17.400 --> 0:14:20.080
<v Speaker 2>not even one, I beside, I am bitches like that,

0:14:20.240 --> 0:14:23.760
<v Speaker 2>like where's your homegirls at? Where's your childhood friends? Like?

0:14:23.800 --> 0:14:25.040
<v Speaker 2>How do you not have any?

0:14:25.440 --> 0:14:27.800
<v Speaker 3>When I think about the women that I no longer

0:14:27.840 --> 0:14:31.200
<v Speaker 3>have relationships with, like who I considered like best friends

0:14:31.240 --> 0:14:35.120
<v Speaker 3>at the time, they don't have any childhood friends, They

0:14:35.160 --> 0:14:39.440
<v Speaker 3>don't have any consistent friends. They have add water for

0:14:39.640 --> 0:14:43.000
<v Speaker 3>instant friends. Every three to six months, you hanging out

0:14:43.000 --> 0:14:47.280
<v Speaker 3>with a different group of people. Those are wishy washy people.

0:14:47.320 --> 0:14:50.800
<v Speaker 3>Like when I make friends with somebody, oftentimes I'm friend

0:14:50.840 --> 0:14:51.920
<v Speaker 3>with friends with them forever.

0:14:54.880 --> 0:14:57.080
<v Speaker 2>So oh, you know, I can't say the same. I

0:14:57.240 --> 0:15:03.640
<v Speaker 2>have relationships that I've outgrown in different ways, like not

0:15:03.760 --> 0:15:07.960
<v Speaker 2>because they're bad people or but it just wasn't As

0:15:08.000 --> 0:15:11.520
<v Speaker 2>we got older, our path just took us different places.

0:15:12.080 --> 0:15:16.320
<v Speaker 2>So I can't necessarily say that I have everybody that

0:15:16.400 --> 0:15:19.320
<v Speaker 2>I've been friends with, you know, some of them just

0:15:19.360 --> 0:15:22.360
<v Speaker 2>we not like that no more. And it ain't no beef,

0:15:22.800 --> 0:15:26.320
<v Speaker 2>you know, it's just life. And then I do have

0:15:26.360 --> 0:15:29.320
<v Speaker 2>relationships or I've had relationships with people where I had

0:15:29.360 --> 0:15:32.120
<v Speaker 2>to exit them for my life for whatever reason, it

0:15:32.280 --> 0:15:34.840
<v Speaker 2>just wasn't healthy. And I'm talking about people who were

0:15:34.880 --> 0:15:37.040
<v Speaker 2>close to me, you know, very close to me, and

0:15:37.120 --> 0:15:40.920
<v Speaker 2>I just it wasn't healthy. The dynamic was no longer

0:15:41.000 --> 0:15:44.920
<v Speaker 2>suiting my life, so I had to exit them, you know.

0:15:46.120 --> 0:15:48.120
<v Speaker 2>And people I still love very much, you know, and

0:15:48.160 --> 0:15:51.520
<v Speaker 2>I still might inquire about, you know, are they good

0:15:51.640 --> 0:15:53.600
<v Speaker 2>and I want them to be good, But bitch, I

0:15:53.600 --> 0:15:55.920
<v Speaker 2>don't fuck with you like that. You know, you don't

0:15:55.920 --> 0:15:57.160
<v Speaker 2>have people in your life like that.

0:15:58.920 --> 0:16:01.400
<v Speaker 3>I have an ex friend and who I consider a

0:16:01.440 --> 0:16:03.640
<v Speaker 3>family member. I consider her like my a sister, a

0:16:03.640 --> 0:16:05.600
<v Speaker 3>family member who I don't fuck with, who I don't

0:16:05.640 --> 0:16:08.200
<v Speaker 3>talk to no more. I don't care about her well

0:16:08.240 --> 0:16:11.360
<v Speaker 3>being and how she's doing. But she's not a good friend.

0:16:11.440 --> 0:16:15.400
<v Speaker 3>She's really not a good person, so I mean, and

0:16:15.440 --> 0:16:18.240
<v Speaker 3>she always got a different group of friends. Don't have

0:16:18.320 --> 0:16:22.360
<v Speaker 3>no childhood friends for real. That's that's weird to me.

0:16:23.320 --> 0:16:25.760
<v Speaker 3>And I still have stories about her friendships with other

0:16:25.800 --> 0:16:31.000
<v Speaker 3>women till this to this day, like issues and be

0:16:31.720 --> 0:16:33.840
<v Speaker 3>falling out at some point. You gotta look at you

0:16:34.600 --> 0:16:35.600
<v Speaker 3>at some point.

0:16:35.440 --> 0:16:39.920
<v Speaker 2>Right right, Absolutely, I'll be falling out with bitches. But

0:16:40.080 --> 0:16:44.160
<v Speaker 2>typically we always come back together. But people don't, you know,

0:16:44.600 --> 0:16:50.560
<v Speaker 2>People either love or hate how forward I am at

0:16:50.600 --> 0:16:53.880
<v Speaker 2>times like it either is like okay, I fuck with

0:16:53.920 --> 0:16:56.160
<v Speaker 2>this or I can I can only deal with this

0:16:56.240 --> 0:17:00.240
<v Speaker 2>bitch in doses or I can't deal with this bitch all.

0:17:01.000 --> 0:17:04.760
<v Speaker 2>But they have. Most the people who are very close

0:17:04.800 --> 0:17:10.040
<v Speaker 2>with it still understand that even with my bluntness is

0:17:10.119 --> 0:17:12.760
<v Speaker 2>coming from a place I love. It might come off aggressive,

0:17:13.520 --> 0:17:16.160
<v Speaker 2>but it's not meant to be hurtful, and that's why

0:17:16.160 --> 0:17:17.800
<v Speaker 2>they can still fuck with me.

0:17:19.040 --> 0:17:21.479
<v Speaker 3>This is from TikTok. It says, in some ways, the

0:17:21.600 --> 0:17:24.320
<v Speaker 3>rise of the Girls girls on TikTok is about pushing

0:17:24.320 --> 0:17:27.000
<v Speaker 3>back against the notion that we need to separate ourselves

0:17:27.320 --> 0:17:31.080
<v Speaker 3>from other women and craft personalities that are different from

0:17:31.119 --> 0:17:34.439
<v Speaker 3>those of everyone else. You know how guys do like

0:17:34.480 --> 0:17:37.440
<v Speaker 3>you're just so different from everybody else? Like how because

0:17:37.480 --> 0:17:39.720
<v Speaker 3>I can give you thirty bitches in my phone that

0:17:39.840 --> 0:17:42.880
<v Speaker 3>seemed just like me? Right, So it's like a tactic

0:17:42.960 --> 0:17:47.640
<v Speaker 3>that men use that creates picknies, right, Like, you're so different.

0:17:48.960 --> 0:17:51.560
<v Speaker 3>A lot of us have a lot of the same characteristics.

0:17:52.560 --> 0:17:55.040
<v Speaker 3>You know what I'm saying that when you start changing

0:17:55.080 --> 0:18:00.520
<v Speaker 3>yourself completely to suit a male, that's when it becomes

0:18:00.560 --> 0:18:06.240
<v Speaker 3>like pickmish, you're just going against all women, right.

0:18:07.480 --> 0:18:10.760
<v Speaker 2>It's a lot of Yeah. I see a lot of

0:18:10.840 --> 0:18:14.840
<v Speaker 2>videos of women like saying all these things about what

0:18:14.920 --> 0:18:17.200
<v Speaker 2>women need to do, and some of it might be true,

0:18:17.280 --> 0:18:19.919
<v Speaker 2>but then some of it does give off this energy

0:18:19.960 --> 0:18:24.840
<v Speaker 2>that you're pandering to men, you know, in a real way,

0:18:24.960 --> 0:18:29.640
<v Speaker 2>like you need to suck his dick every day when

0:18:29.680 --> 0:18:32.240
<v Speaker 2>he come off from work. It don't matter what happened

0:18:33.640 --> 0:18:36.520
<v Speaker 2>on some like what like, girl, what are you talking about?

0:18:37.000 --> 0:18:39.960
<v Speaker 3>Absolutely not, that's a pick me.

0:18:40.080 --> 0:18:41.800
<v Speaker 2>I'm not sucking nobody dick every.

0:18:41.720 --> 0:18:45.520
<v Speaker 3>Day, right. So these are the things I came up

0:18:45.560 --> 0:18:48.320
<v Speaker 3>with that I consider a girl's girl. So a girl's

0:18:48.359 --> 0:18:51.920
<v Speaker 3>girl literally fixes each other's crown, even when you don't

0:18:51.960 --> 0:18:55.399
<v Speaker 3>know the woman. So I if I see a woman

0:18:55.560 --> 0:18:58.560
<v Speaker 3>with like toilet tissue coming at the bathroom on her shoe,

0:18:58.600 --> 0:19:00.720
<v Speaker 3>I be like, girl, hold on, you go back out

0:19:00.720 --> 0:19:03.880
<v Speaker 3>in the club. Okay, tags sticking out. I'm talking your

0:19:03.920 --> 0:19:06.440
<v Speaker 3>tag and I don't know you hair out of place.

0:19:06.480 --> 0:19:09.560
<v Speaker 3>I'm fixing your hair. Those are the type of thing lass.

0:19:09.400 --> 0:19:11.520
<v Speaker 2>Is coming up your close your eye, your lash. Come,

0:19:11.720 --> 0:19:12.359
<v Speaker 2>I got some glue.

0:19:12.359 --> 0:19:15.840
<v Speaker 3>Girl, you know, like you already trying to make sure

0:19:15.560 --> 0:19:16.439
<v Speaker 3>they're crying.

0:19:16.440 --> 0:19:18.080
<v Speaker 2>Everybody on point is good?

0:19:18.440 --> 0:19:21.960
<v Speaker 3>Right, Even women you don't know. With friends, you post

0:19:22.000 --> 0:19:25.680
<v Speaker 3>the best pics, bitch, even if we I look fine

0:19:25.680 --> 0:19:27.600
<v Speaker 3>as telling this picture, you look fucked up. I like

0:19:27.640 --> 0:19:29.320
<v Speaker 3>this picture. It's the only picture we got. The picture

0:19:29.320 --> 0:19:31.479
<v Speaker 3>ain't going up right, You don't look good?

0:19:31.480 --> 0:19:32.760
<v Speaker 2>It right? Right?

0:19:32.840 --> 0:19:36.439
<v Speaker 3>Right? And even catching candid photos of your friend when

0:19:36.480 --> 0:19:38.080
<v Speaker 3>you think she looking good, like girl, it's a good picture.

0:19:38.119 --> 0:19:41.920
<v Speaker 3>Stay right there, that's the girl's girl, right.

0:19:42.440 --> 0:19:45.399
<v Speaker 2>But you know what, sometimes I somebody will post a

0:19:45.440 --> 0:19:48.400
<v Speaker 2>picture of you that you they think look good at you,

0:19:48.480 --> 0:19:53.240
<v Speaker 2>and you be like, bitch right, they don't look good right,

0:19:53.359 --> 0:19:55.000
<v Speaker 2>and you should have read by me first.

0:19:57.440 --> 0:19:59.320
<v Speaker 1>Once again, thank you for tuning into the Black Effect

0:19:59.359 --> 0:20:01.679
<v Speaker 1>Podcast Network. See you in twenty twenty five for more

0:20:01.720 --> 0:20:03.200
<v Speaker 1>great moments from your favorite podcast.