WEBVTT - Jumping for JOY with Dr Kerry Burnight 

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<v Speaker 1>You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Girl. Welcome

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<v Speaker 1>back to I Choose Me. I'm talking to doctor carry

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<v Speaker 1>burnit about living life in your second half with joy.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's get back into it. One of the things you

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<v Speaker 1>talk about are the pillars of joy span. The one

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<v Speaker 1>that really got me was giving. Yes, can you tell

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<v Speaker 1>us how important that is? Because, like I said before,

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<v Speaker 1>we spend so much time taking care of other people

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<v Speaker 1>that when we give to ourselves it feels selfish, but

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<v Speaker 1>in giving to others, it's actually productive to our joy span. Yes.

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<v Speaker 2>So we said that there are these four verbs that

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<v Speaker 2>are the pillars, and I'm so mad because I wanted

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<v Speaker 2>them to spell a really catchy acronym, and so I

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<v Speaker 2>would spend like a ridiculous amount of time coming up

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<v Speaker 2>with acronyms. I probably took years off my life. And

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<v Speaker 2>finally one day I was in a coffee shop and

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, screw it.

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<v Speaker 1>It is simply the words that it is, so no acronym.

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<v Speaker 2>I know, Okay, bomber. It starts with a G and

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<v Speaker 2>ends with a G, so that's something okay, okay, And

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<v Speaker 2>then the middle to our c A. And we live

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<v Speaker 2>in California, so if people can remember, then g C A.

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<v Speaker 1>G GG Yeah, what's g okay?

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<v Speaker 2>So I'll go through the four of them, and then

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<v Speaker 2>if we wanted to start with giving, we can, because

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<v Speaker 2>I feel like that's the most interesting one.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's do it.

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<v Speaker 2>So the four verbs are grow, and Linda touched on

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<v Speaker 2>it connect with other humans, adapt, huge literature on what

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<v Speaker 2>it means to adapt and why we have to. And

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<v Speaker 2>then the final G is what you started with, which

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<v Speaker 2>is give. And the thing about giving is it's giving

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<v Speaker 2>of yourself and it requires that you recognize that you

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<v Speaker 2>have something to give. And I love that you touched

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<v Speaker 2>on the fact that we, as women and mothers and grandmothers,

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<v Speaker 2>we've given a lot. But the component that you so

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<v Speaker 2>beautifully add is about it's not giving that's going to

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<v Speaker 2>empty us out. It's not just, for example, caregiving. It's

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<v Speaker 2>not just meals and schedules and looking and seeming like

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<v Speaker 2>you have it together. But it's giving that of who

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<v Speaker 2>you are, and you need to recognize that those strengths

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<v Speaker 2>of growing older and to see that you have something

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<v Speaker 2>to give. And then also with giving is the other

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<v Speaker 2>piece that nobody's talking about, and that is the ability

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<v Speaker 2>to receive. So there's a lot of research that talks

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<v Speaker 2>about the givers high right, if I do something for you,

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<v Speaker 2>it feels kind of good because I've given.

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<v Speaker 1>To It makes you feel better about yourself.

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<v Speaker 2>But if we were all going to only just give,

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<v Speaker 2>then what about the give like the other person? Like

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<v Speaker 2>we're just all giving. So as we get older this

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<v Speaker 2>ability to receive. So when if you're not feeling that

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<v Speaker 2>well and your girlfriend says I'm going to bring dinner over,

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<v Speaker 2>instead of our quick response which is no, no, I've

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<v Speaker 2>got it, it's okay, you don't have to do that,

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<v Speaker 2>we can learn in this second fifty to say thank you, Yes,

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<v Speaker 2>Then that person feels good. We have that social connection.

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<v Speaker 2>The next time that maybe you need something, all feel

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<v Speaker 2>so joyful that I can then give you something. So

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<v Speaker 2>it's give as a two way street. And our adult

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<v Speaker 2>children are going to want to help us and give

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<v Speaker 2>and navigating that where there is a certain amount of

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<v Speaker 2>time that we say yes to some assistance and then

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<v Speaker 2>also lay down some boundaries to say, I'll tell you

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<v Speaker 2>in advance that you, as my adult, let's say thirty

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<v Speaker 2>year old daughter, are not always going to agree with things,

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<v Speaker 2>but as an adult I'm going to choose for my

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<v Speaker 2>life how I'm going to do some of these things,

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<v Speaker 2>and as long as I have cognitive capacity to make

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<v Speaker 2>my own decisions. So instead of having only a conversation

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<v Speaker 2>when you're ninety, we start these conversations with our adult

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<v Speaker 2>children today planning the seeds. And maybe we could use

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<v Speaker 2>our own parents as an example. You could say you

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<v Speaker 2>could see how it was. It's really hard with your

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<v Speaker 2>grandmother that she won't let us help in any way

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<v Speaker 2>with her hip surgery recovery. And just to kind of

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<v Speaker 2>start with these many, many conversations of how to navigate.

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<v Speaker 1>It's so important. I think you also talk about different

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<v Speaker 1>forms of giving. Yes. Is one of my favorites is

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<v Speaker 1>just listening, giving an ear. Yes, it's the best.

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<v Speaker 2>It's the best example. Right. Yes, I have someone now

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<v Speaker 2>that I am so honored to know, and she now

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<v Speaker 2>has a lot of physical challenges, and so she lives

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<v Speaker 2>in a skilled nursing facility, but her give She is

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<v Speaker 2>the best listener and intentionally she has listened to audibles

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<v Speaker 2>about listening, she has watched Ted talks about listening. She

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<v Speaker 2>has tried out different strategies every time I go to

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<v Speaker 2>visit her. There's practically a line by her bed, and

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<v Speaker 2>I get in it because I feel so seen and

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<v Speaker 2>heard and understood by her listening. And yet you know,

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<v Speaker 2>her body's contracted, her vision and her hearing our challenge.

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<v Speaker 2>But what a role model she is to me about

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<v Speaker 2>choosing things that we can continue to give all lifelong.

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<v Speaker 1>I think one of the biggest misconceptions people have about

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<v Speaker 1>happiness and later later in life is that we reach

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<v Speaker 1>these milestones. You know, our kids are off on their own,

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<v Speaker 1>they're happy, we're retired, we have grandchildren, and then we

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<v Speaker 1>expect the joy to just come with all those blessings

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<v Speaker 1>of life. But you said sometimes they don't, right, How

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<v Speaker 1>can we prepare ourselves to be more in touch with

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<v Speaker 1>joy span, Yes.

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<v Speaker 2>You start small, and you start by noticing.

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<v Speaker 1>So you go.

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<v Speaker 2>When you very first wake up in the morning. Humans

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<v Speaker 2>we all.

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<v Speaker 1>I love that you say humans. By the way I

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<v Speaker 1>say humans a lot. I kind of feel weird that

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<v Speaker 1>we're just humans exactly like and we're quirky when you're

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<v Speaker 1>boiling all day. We're the same exactly.

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<v Speaker 2>So we humans lay in bed and you think, oh,

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<v Speaker 2>my kids getting a divorce. My you know, ankle really hurts.

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<v Speaker 2>The darn air condition isn't working. You know, you kind

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<v Speaker 2>of list out problems, and what we give attention to

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<v Speaker 2>is what we see more of. And that also is

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<v Speaker 2>a neurological reticular activating system is such that when you

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<v Speaker 2>call attention to something, you see more of that. And

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<v Speaker 2>that's the reason why you buy a Toyota Corolla and

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<v Speaker 2>then you see them everywhere on the road. They were

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<v Speaker 2>there all along, but you it's what you draw attention to.

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<v Speaker 1>Our minds are so powerful, so powerful, exactly. I never

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<v Speaker 1>really knew, yes powerful though, And there's a lot of

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<v Speaker 1>conversation now about that, about saying how you want your

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<v Speaker 1>life to be exactly.

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<v Speaker 2>And what you choose. So in the morning, when before

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<v Speaker 2>before you even put your feet on the ground, if

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<v Speaker 2>you can purposefully say, I get to go down and

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<v Speaker 2>have a cup of coffee. This silly dog of mine

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<v Speaker 2>is so loyal and funny to me, My daughter and

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<v Speaker 2>I are going to be able to grab a dinner

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<v Speaker 2>at the end of the week. I have a roof

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<v Speaker 2>over my head, right, And to really draw attention to

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<v Speaker 2>those little things in your life, and that's what you'll

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<v Speaker 2>start to see more of, because there's always always going

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<v Speaker 2>to be things that are not right and that are hard,

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<v Speaker 2>particularly as we grow older, but also there will always

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<v Speaker 2>be things that still are right. And sometimes, like when

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<v Speaker 2>I am down and pissed off and heartbroken, I want

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<v Speaker 2>to say, like I don't see any I don't see

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<v Speaker 2>any good things. There's only bad things. But in there

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<v Speaker 2>isn't actually true. And so I have another friend who

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<v Speaker 2>has recently lost both of her limbs, and so it's

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<v Speaker 2>added to in the morning, think I can step right

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<v Speaker 2>onto these legs. How amazing that I have legs? You know?

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<v Speaker 1>There. I mean, it's kind of corresponds with gratitude. It's

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<v Speaker 1>basically the same thing being grateful instead of focusing on

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<v Speaker 1>what's wrong, focusing on what's right.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, yes, And it seems kind of like Gaggy like Pollyanna,

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<v Speaker 2>like everything is right, except that the suffering that I've

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<v Speaker 2>seen makes me think, regardless of if it feels stupid

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<v Speaker 2>or if it feels overly simple, try it, you know.

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<v Speaker 2>And when I watch people go from suffering so much

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<v Speaker 2>to feeling some hope and some encouragement and then encouraging others,

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<v Speaker 2>I think, I'm happy to put it out there. And

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<v Speaker 2>it isn't just my beliefs or anything. It's what the

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<v Speaker 2>research shows us. So it's like shining a light. When

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<v Speaker 2>I used to just research dementia and depression and anxiety,

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<v Speaker 2>it seemed so kind of academic. We can really take

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<v Speaker 2>her serious because she does all this serious work. When

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<v Speaker 2>I moved it to the other side, which was generosity, gratitude, humor,

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<v Speaker 2>a lot of these things, it seems like, oh, that's

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<v Speaker 2>not academic, But it's equally academic. It's equally powerful, if

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<v Speaker 2>not more powerful. And particularly in this day and age

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<v Speaker 2>where there are such struggles as a nation and such polarization,

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<v Speaker 2>that actually we can think of joy and choosing and

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<v Speaker 2>working on psychological well being almost as an act of resistance, right,

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<v Speaker 2>Like it can be kind of a serious thing, this joy,

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<v Speaker 2>this wellbeing, this trying to continue to add kindness and

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<v Speaker 2>grace and appreciation to this phase of life. It's actually

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<v Speaker 2>pretty important, it really is.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean it's important. I think in your fifties starts

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<v Speaker 1>you really start to tap into that in your fifties,

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<v Speaker 1>in your sixties, and if you really practice it, and

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<v Speaker 1>it's a practice, it's not something that you just flip

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<v Speaker 1>a switch and it happens without any effort, right, So

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<v Speaker 1>practicing it every day is another story. Yes, exactly what

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<v Speaker 1>are the three things we can all be doing as

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<v Speaker 1>we enter the second act of our life to thrive?

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, so I think that we can tie them to

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<v Speaker 2>the four pillars of joy spand so we talked about it.

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<v Speaker 2>So people, you know, if your listeners are like me,

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<v Speaker 2>when I listen to podcasts, I think, Okay, I want

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<v Speaker 2>to walk away with something, So people know that it's GCAG.

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<v Speaker 2>So that is grow, connect, adapt, and give. So we

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<v Speaker 2>can go first to the grow. That is, am I

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<v Speaker 2>pushing myself out of my comfort zone to try something new,

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<v Speaker 2>to continue to develop myself all the way until my

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<v Speaker 2>last breath. So that means at ninety years old, at

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<v Speaker 2>one hundred years old, am I finding things that I

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<v Speaker 2>can do differently? Or you know, make it make a

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<v Speaker 2>decision to be, for example, a great listener, or make

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<v Speaker 2>the decision that I'm going to share my cooking with somebody.

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<v Speaker 2>So that's the grow the connect humans need humans. And

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<v Speaker 2>then this eighty five year longitudinal study the same people

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<v Speaker 2>over eighty five years, the biggest predictor of how somebody

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<v Speaker 2>would age wasn't exercise, It wasn't diet, it wasn't sleep. Certainly,

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<v Speaker 2>wasn't how much protein or kale you had. It was

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<v Speaker 2>in fact, these human relations and these connections, and the

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<v Speaker 2>only way to have connection enough to last one hundred

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<v Speaker 2>years is to proactively be the one reaching out. To

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<v Speaker 2>be that friend who offers to drive someone to chemo,

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<v Speaker 2>who plans the book club, who makes the reservations for

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<v Speaker 2>the getaway, who remembers it's been a year since your

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<v Speaker 2>mother's death. Right, So when people say to me, I'm

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<v Speaker 2>lonely as defined as not having as much social interaction

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<v Speaker 2>as you'd like to have, I always ask the question,

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<v Speaker 2>tell me about the outreach that you've done.

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<v Speaker 1>It starts with you, right, it does.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, So when we feel excluded, we go, okay, wait

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<v Speaker 2>am i Am I the one reaching out to others?

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<v Speaker 2>So we've gotten grow, we've gotten connect and that puts

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<v Speaker 2>us on the a adapt and adapting is from a

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<v Speaker 2>beautiful literature on adaptation that was actually researchers in Israel,

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<v Speaker 2>and what they showed was people who were able to

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<v Speaker 2>take these life circumstances that we never chose, these hard

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<v Speaker 2>things of losing a partner or a divorce, or a

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<v Speaker 2>child getting ill. When we take those things really allow

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<v Speaker 2>ourselves to feel the grief and to acknowledge the heartbreak

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<v Speaker 2>and then put the work into thinking, Okay, now I

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<v Speaker 2>still might have thirty years ahead of me, how am

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<v Speaker 2>I going to carry this thing for the rest of

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<v Speaker 2>my days so that this part doesn't just make thirty

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<v Speaker 2>more years of suffering.

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<v Speaker 1>But it can't define you. Yes, I think a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of people fall into that category of you know, when

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<v Speaker 1>bad things happen, it just sort of takes over everything

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<v Speaker 1>in their life.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, and you think, well, this I can't find joy

0:15:01.680 --> 0:15:06.040
<v Speaker 2>because this heartbreak is too great. I'm going to suffer

0:15:06.200 --> 0:15:08.600
<v Speaker 2>now for the rest of my life, and many people do.

0:15:09.880 --> 0:15:14.600
<v Speaker 2>It's just it is my hope and that we can

0:15:15.040 --> 0:15:24.480
<v Speaker 2>use proven internal and external coping mechanisms, counseling and sharing

0:15:24.720 --> 0:15:29.680
<v Speaker 2>and journaling and medications. There's a lot of things that

0:15:29.720 --> 0:15:32.400
<v Speaker 2>we can be doing to adapt to these situations. And

0:15:32.800 --> 0:15:35.960
<v Speaker 2>I was writing the chapter on adaptation, and we have

0:15:36.040 --> 0:15:38.760
<v Speaker 2>three adult children, and as I was writing about, oh,

0:15:38.800 --> 0:15:40.800
<v Speaker 2>it's important to adapt because you're going to have these

0:15:40.880 --> 0:15:44.080
<v Speaker 2>life things that you never expected, and then of course

0:15:44.440 --> 0:15:47.280
<v Speaker 2>I had a life thing that I never expected, and

0:15:47.320 --> 0:15:49.520
<v Speaker 2>that was our middle daughter was just about to go

0:15:49.600 --> 0:15:53.200
<v Speaker 2>off to medical school and was diagnosed with a brain tumor.

0:15:53.800 --> 0:15:58.520
<v Speaker 2>And so I was like, Carrie, you got to actually

0:15:59.080 --> 0:16:05.560
<v Speaker 2>take your own advice, which is really grieve, really process

0:16:06.120 --> 0:16:09.920
<v Speaker 2>and let people into your grief and put in the

0:16:10.000 --> 0:16:12.560
<v Speaker 2>work to think how am I going to navigate this?

0:16:12.760 --> 0:16:16.200
<v Speaker 2>Because I thought I could get a brain tumor. My

0:16:16.480 --> 0:16:18.480
<v Speaker 2>ninety seven year old mom could get a brain tumor,

0:16:18.520 --> 0:16:23.920
<v Speaker 2>But my twenty four year old daughter what? But yes, yes,

0:16:24.040 --> 0:16:27.400
<v Speaker 2>And because I work with older people, I was just

0:16:27.840 --> 0:16:31.600
<v Speaker 2>broken and I went in to work, and of course

0:16:31.640 --> 0:16:34.760
<v Speaker 2>I couldn't keep it together and I just was crying.

0:16:34.960 --> 0:16:37.960
<v Speaker 2>And there was a group of women who were in

0:16:38.000 --> 0:16:43.160
<v Speaker 2>their nineties and the listening that they did and then

0:16:43.600 --> 0:16:46.520
<v Speaker 2>the sharing that they did that they had been through

0:16:46.520 --> 0:16:49.680
<v Speaker 2>stuff like one of them I never even knew had

0:16:49.760 --> 0:16:53.400
<v Speaker 2>lost a child. I didn't know that. But to have

0:16:53.480 --> 0:16:58.640
<v Speaker 2>somebody ahead of me like, help me see you know

0:16:59.200 --> 0:17:02.280
<v Speaker 2>that there is still a path even with the unthinkable

0:17:02.880 --> 0:17:03.840
<v Speaker 2>so valuable.

0:17:03.920 --> 0:17:04.520
<v Speaker 1>And I thought to.

0:17:04.480 --> 0:17:08.560
<v Speaker 2>Myself, when I'm an older person, might I be able

0:17:08.600 --> 0:17:12.840
<v Speaker 2>to do that to subsequent generations? And that kind of

0:17:12.840 --> 0:17:16.040
<v Speaker 2>loops us back to the give, and the give is

0:17:16.640 --> 0:17:21.760
<v Speaker 2>giving of yourself, recognizing that as long as you have

0:17:22.040 --> 0:17:25.120
<v Speaker 2>breath in your lungs. You have something to give.

0:17:27.840 --> 0:17:31.480
<v Speaker 1>So I see you getting emotions, and I.

0:17:31.400 --> 0:17:33.200
<v Speaker 2>Know people are so kind, they're going to say, oh,

0:17:33.320 --> 0:17:35.520
<v Speaker 2>your dat her. So she wasn't able to go to

0:17:35.640 --> 0:17:38.159
<v Speaker 2>school and instead she moved home with us, which was

0:17:38.280 --> 0:17:42.800
<v Speaker 2>rough on her, but happily, I'm so grateful that she

0:17:44.400 --> 0:17:47.600
<v Speaker 2>it went to another medical school that is near her

0:17:47.680 --> 0:17:52.399
<v Speaker 2>neurologist and now she just does six month intervals of

0:17:53.000 --> 0:17:56.680
<v Speaker 2>MRIs and it's not growing. So as long as it's

0:17:56.680 --> 0:18:00.000
<v Speaker 2>not growing, she'll just keep doing our studies and maybe

0:18:00.040 --> 0:18:02.480
<v Speaker 2>it will never grow, but if it does, then we'll

0:18:02.480 --> 0:18:06.960
<v Speaker 2>address it then. But it's pretty it's not unusual, right,

0:18:07.080 --> 0:18:07.399
<v Speaker 2>that's what.

0:18:07.520 --> 0:18:12.640
<v Speaker 1>It's not unusual. It is life. It happens. It's happening

0:18:12.680 --> 0:18:15.439
<v Speaker 1>to other people getting through it, and so can.

0:18:15.359 --> 0:18:19.800
<v Speaker 2>You exactly, and that you know, aging is just another

0:18:20.400 --> 0:18:24.600
<v Speaker 2>word for living, right, And that's why sometimes people will say, oh,

0:18:24.640 --> 0:18:28.119
<v Speaker 2>it's great, you're an aging expert. And I even though

0:18:28.160 --> 0:18:32.120
<v Speaker 2>I studied gerontology and everything, it's not really an expert

0:18:32.160 --> 0:18:35.960
<v Speaker 2>because nobody nails it. Nobody goes, wow, I'm doing this

0:18:36.080 --> 0:18:40.199
<v Speaker 2>so well. Right, it's messy and it's humbling.

0:18:40.640 --> 0:18:43.399
<v Speaker 1>Yes, yeah, everybody's dealing with something different.

0:18:43.600 --> 0:18:44.159
<v Speaker 2>Exactly.

0:18:44.840 --> 0:18:48.480
<v Speaker 1>Well, I mean, I feel like I've learned so much,

0:18:48.480 --> 0:18:52.760
<v Speaker 1>but there's so much more in your book, joy Span,

0:18:52.880 --> 0:18:56.879
<v Speaker 1>The Art and Science of Thriving on Life's Second Half.

0:18:57.960 --> 0:18:59.960
<v Speaker 1>I hope everybody out there reads it and think you

0:19:00.200 --> 0:19:03.439
<v Speaker 1>for that personal update on your daughter. We all, of course,

0:19:03.640 --> 0:19:07.760
<v Speaker 1>everyone listening, myself included, just hope that it never grows.

0:19:08.119 --> 0:19:12.840
<v Speaker 2>Thank you very much, exactly. And yeah, and I like

0:19:12.960 --> 0:19:15.240
<v Speaker 2>something that she said recently. She said, well, you know,

0:19:15.359 --> 0:19:18.159
<v Speaker 2>at least I know my thing. Everybody's going to have

0:19:18.200 --> 0:19:21.560
<v Speaker 2>a thing and I know mine, right, Yes, you do.

0:19:21.560 --> 0:19:22.480
<v Speaker 1>Doesn't have to wait for that.

0:19:23.920 --> 0:19:24.800
<v Speaker 2>I always got it.

0:19:25.520 --> 0:19:27.680
<v Speaker 1>Okay, Before I let you go, I want to ask

0:19:27.720 --> 0:19:31.679
<v Speaker 1>you what is one I choose me moment that you

0:19:32.160 --> 0:19:36.040
<v Speaker 1>have adopted in your life to bring you more joy.

0:19:36.320 --> 0:19:39.200
<v Speaker 2>Well, I happen to be lucky enough to have read

0:19:39.240 --> 0:19:43.520
<v Speaker 2>your book, and I took so much from it, and

0:19:44.440 --> 0:19:48.400
<v Speaker 2>it is really in line with this philosophy of that

0:19:48.480 --> 0:19:53.760
<v Speaker 2>we have a choice and when we just succumb to

0:19:53.800 --> 0:19:57.520
<v Speaker 2>this oh don't get old kind of thing, you don't

0:19:57.560 --> 0:20:01.200
<v Speaker 2>realize that that you play a role in it. And

0:20:01.280 --> 0:20:05.080
<v Speaker 2>so something that I did in terms of choosing me

0:20:05.280 --> 0:20:08.600
<v Speaker 2>is I had to let go of a narrative, and

0:20:08.600 --> 0:20:14.840
<v Speaker 2>that narrative was as somebody who loved school. I always

0:20:14.880 --> 0:20:20.240
<v Speaker 2>thought I like academic things, but I am not an athlete.

0:20:20.800 --> 0:20:27.000
<v Speaker 2>I'm not coordinated. I'm just physically not good. And as

0:20:27.000 --> 0:20:30.919
<v Speaker 2>I've gotten older, I was like, what a lie. Of

0:20:30.920 --> 0:20:34.880
<v Speaker 2>course you can get better. You can choose to put

0:20:34.920 --> 0:20:38.320
<v Speaker 2>in effort to things that you have, like stories that

0:20:38.359 --> 0:20:41.679
<v Speaker 2>you've been told, like maybe somebody sometimes said you're not smart,

0:20:41.800 --> 0:20:44.879
<v Speaker 2>or somebody said you're not attractive, or you're not funny,

0:20:44.960 --> 0:20:48.119
<v Speaker 2>or you're not good with money. A lot of these

0:20:48.200 --> 0:20:51.439
<v Speaker 2>stories we can bust in the second half. And so

0:20:52.040 --> 0:20:55.360
<v Speaker 2>when I got this thought of like, huh, maybe it's

0:20:55.400 --> 0:20:58.880
<v Speaker 2>not true that I am such a physical goofball. Who

0:20:59.000 --> 0:21:02.680
<v Speaker 2>did get picked last pe? I did? I did because

0:21:02.680 --> 0:21:06.240
<v Speaker 2>I was all like skinny. But I started thinking like, well,

0:21:06.320 --> 0:21:08.000
<v Speaker 2>what if I could run a little bit?

0:21:08.080 --> 0:21:09.520
<v Speaker 1>And then I ran a marathon?

0:21:10.040 --> 0:21:11.840
<v Speaker 2>Now, like what if I could lift weight? Now I

0:21:11.920 --> 0:21:17.200
<v Speaker 2>left weight Monday Wednesday Friday, So kind of taking off

0:21:17.640 --> 0:21:20.560
<v Speaker 2>their old garbage that other people have put on us,

0:21:20.640 --> 0:21:21.040
<v Speaker 2>I didn't go.

0:21:21.520 --> 0:21:24.560
<v Speaker 1>Yeah yet, letting go of those narratives. Yes, you know,

0:21:24.680 --> 0:21:26.760
<v Speaker 1>I've had that happen to me as well, where someone

0:21:26.760 --> 0:21:29.040
<v Speaker 1>has said something about me and I took it on. Yes,

0:21:29.520 --> 0:21:31.840
<v Speaker 1>And then that and because I took it on, I

0:21:31.840 --> 0:21:34.920
<v Speaker 1>started thinking about it and believing it and making it true,

0:21:34.960 --> 0:21:38.160
<v Speaker 1>making it true, making it happen because I was thinking

0:21:38.240 --> 0:21:42.200
<v Speaker 1>about it. Yes. But it's so it's so important that

0:21:42.240 --> 0:21:45.200
<v Speaker 1>we are able to sort of look at something and

0:21:45.600 --> 0:21:49.520
<v Speaker 1>you know, acknowledge what is our truth as opposed to

0:21:49.560 --> 0:21:53.000
<v Speaker 1>what other people's truth is. Yes, because we get to

0:21:53.080 --> 0:21:57.240
<v Speaker 1>choose our truth. Yes, and if we want to. I'm

0:21:57.320 --> 0:22:03.239
<v Speaker 1>choosing right now to row into my older years and

0:22:03.440 --> 0:22:05.880
<v Speaker 1>just really embody all of the things that I've learned

0:22:05.920 --> 0:22:06.560
<v Speaker 1>from your book.

0:22:07.040 --> 0:22:09.679
<v Speaker 2>And what's going to be what changes the world is

0:22:09.720 --> 0:22:12.200
<v Speaker 2>the fact that your children are going to have you

0:22:12.280 --> 0:22:14.800
<v Speaker 2>as an example. And I think if all of us,

0:22:14.880 --> 0:22:17.200
<v Speaker 2>these twelve thousand of us a day who are turning

0:22:17.240 --> 0:22:21.159
<v Speaker 2>sixty five, if we could step into our power that

0:22:21.920 --> 0:22:23.560
<v Speaker 2>you know, in the same way they used to say

0:22:23.560 --> 0:22:26.879
<v Speaker 2>women can't do this, women can't do that, and we're like, oh, really,

0:22:26.960 --> 0:22:30.320
<v Speaker 2>watch me, same thing with older It's like, you know what,

0:22:30.880 --> 0:22:33.119
<v Speaker 2>I'm ninety year old and these are the things that

0:22:33.160 --> 0:22:37.280
<v Speaker 2>I'm doing. How great for our daughters behind us to

0:22:37.520 --> 0:22:41.359
<v Speaker 2>look and go, huh. And I think that's going to

0:22:41.480 --> 0:22:42.320
<v Speaker 2>change society.

0:22:42.520 --> 0:22:45.560
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's going to change all the cycle. Yes, thank

0:22:45.600 --> 0:22:46.320
<v Speaker 1>you so much for.

0:22:46.280 --> 0:22:48.040
<v Speaker 2>Sharing, thank you for having me.

0:22:48.200 --> 0:22:50.680
<v Speaker 1>Everybody get this book because we're all going to age,

0:22:50.840 --> 0:22:51.720
<v Speaker 1>we're all going to get old.

0:22:51.720 --> 0:22:52.600
<v Speaker 2>We're doing it right now.

0:22:52.640 --> 0:22:57.600
<v Speaker 1>We gotta figure it out and get proactive. Thank you

0:22:57.640 --> 0:22:59.920
<v Speaker 1>so much, very huge, Jenny,