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Speaker 1: My Tinder date brought the body of his on a

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Speaker 1: wife mother to the dates.

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Speaker 2: Bruh, I've I've heard of weird dates, but this one,

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Speaker 2: this one tops the charts.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, let me introduce you to my mother. She is dead,

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Speaker 1: oh man. Like many other unfortunate souls, my non existent

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Speaker 1: dating life has turned me to the dating app.

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Speaker 2: World, indeed the shadow realm.

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Speaker 1: This particular one is Tinder. I've been chatting with a

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Speaker 1: guy for a few days and everything was going swimmingly, swimmingly.

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Speaker 1: We had so much in common, we were looking for

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Speaker 1: the same things. His pictures were cute, and he didn't

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Speaker 1: live too far away. Perfect my aim. All seemed well.

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Speaker 1: So I invited him over for a grill out some

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Speaker 1: burgers in my backyard. Oh yeah, that's a it's very

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Speaker 1: like it's an awesome date. I think it's very it's

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Speaker 1: a very Uh. I just wouldn't expect that, like a

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Speaker 1: cookout for your first date. I've never been invited to

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Speaker 1: a cookout.

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Speaker 2: I think it's kind of cause it's like it's publiced,

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Speaker 2: so like if it's weird, you could kind of go

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Speaker 2: off and do your own thing. It's not just like

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Speaker 2: you're sitting at a restaurant, like what if someone brings

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Speaker 2: their dead mother and you don't want to sit with

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Speaker 2: them at the table anymore.

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Speaker 1: But it's also in your imagine, it's just into a backyard.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, oh yeah, I guess it's maybe is it a

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Speaker 2: cookout for two?

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Speaker 1: Is it like a whole? I think it's a cookout

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Speaker 1: for two. I think it's like I'm just firing up

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Speaker 1: the grill in my backyard.

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Speaker 2: Maybe that's worse than because then you're stuck in your

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Speaker 2: house and.

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Speaker 1: He's stuck, or at least he can grill mom. Don't worry,

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Speaker 1: I brought the meats. So I invited him over to

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Speaker 1: grill out some burgers in my backyard. I just got that.

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Speaker 1: I totally don't bring the meat. He asked if he

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Speaker 1: could bring anything. I said, sure, brings some bacon for

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Speaker 1: the burgers. He agreed, and that he'd be over there soon.

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Speaker 1: Given his distance, I expected it to be over in

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Speaker 1: a short fifteen minutes. So I fired up the grill

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Speaker 1: and seasoned the bergs. Half an hour woo. Half an

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Speaker 1: hour later, he messaged me, I've driven bast a couple

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Speaker 1: times chicking out. Are you sure you want me to

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Speaker 1: come over? Maybe a red flag, but I chalked it

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Speaker 1: up to nerves and just said, hey, I'm hungry, get

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Speaker 1: over here, bro. So this hoggard looking guy shows up

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Speaker 1: much different than his Cedric pictures. You know Cedric degree.

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Speaker 1: Oh Bro, he'd be looking. I dig it. H that's

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Speaker 1: all right, I can move past it. From the minute

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Speaker 1: he walked up, and I kid you not, he did

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Speaker 1: not take a breath within the first five minutes. I

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Speaker 1: knew his life story from his aunt who hated their grandma,

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Speaker 1: to his father who likes to collect taxidermy, not a

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Speaker 1: single breath. And bro, if you have like relatives that

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Speaker 1: are collecting taxi ermy, check his floorboards because that man

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Speaker 1: might be a serial killer. Again, I just figured he

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Speaker 1: was nervous. So I put the burgers on, and when

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Speaker 1: they're ready, he pulls out a ziplock from his pocket

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Speaker 1: with two pieces of bacon in it and puts them

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Speaker 1: only on his burger, So like, you didn't even bring

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Speaker 1: the bacon to cook. He cooked the bacon and then

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Speaker 1: put him only in his burger.

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Speaker 2: See it's and it's not that's not even necessarily like terrible,

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Speaker 2: but it's just it's just.

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Speaker 1: Why, why, why would you do that? We sit down

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Speaker 1: in the patio and start eating. I finished my burger

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Speaker 1: before he even started his. He did not stop talking

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Speaker 1: the entire time. When we sit down, he reaches into

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Speaker 1: his pocket and pulls out a vial. It's about two

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Speaker 1: inches tall, with a cork in it. It's filled with

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Speaker 1: black powder. Oh. He must have noticed me staring at it,

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Speaker 1: flipping between if he was about to snort something strange

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Speaker 1: or build some sand dart. He said, oh, all super casual.

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Speaker 1: I'd like to introduce you to my mother. No yeah,

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Speaker 1: the mother. No no, And then he proceeds to say

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Speaker 1: I want to have a little bite of her every

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Speaker 1: time I eat, to remember her and keep her memory

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Speaker 1: with me. And he proceeds to salt his burger with

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Speaker 1: his own mother.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, what what.

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Speaker 1: Is wrong with this person? I just stared at him

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Speaker 1: for what felt like an eternity. I didn't know whether

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Speaker 1: to laugh, cry or run. I like to bring her

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Speaker 1: to anything. I like to bring her with me to

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Speaker 1: any important event in my life. She also has ashes

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Speaker 1: in this necklace I'm wearing, and this ring I have on,

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Speaker 1: and this half sleeve tattoo is for her. Did they

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Speaker 1: did he use the his mother in the sleeve. I

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Speaker 1: mean it kind of sounds like it. Broh. This guy's

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Speaker 1: this guy's eating his mom, good God, when he should

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Speaker 1: be eating his date. Hey, now, mind you. I've lost

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Speaker 1: many people close to me, and I don't judge people

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Speaker 1: based on their grief cycles. We all cope differently, and

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Speaker 1: I respect that. But a homeboy brought a vial of

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Speaker 1: his mother's ashes and set them on the table for

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Speaker 1: our first date. That ain't. I simply could not finally

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Speaker 1: finishes burger, and I made some excuse about having to

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Speaker 1: clock in and finish some work. At nine thirty pm.

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Speaker 1: He texted me before he even got into his car

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Speaker 1: and told me my mother really liked you. I can't

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Speaker 1: wait to see you again. She can't like you because

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Speaker 1: she's ashes. God. I told him I didn't feel a

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Speaker 1: connection to him or his mother. Bam. There you have it,

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Speaker 1: public data check. Make sure you don't date creeps. Get checked, y'all,

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Speaker 1: or his mom ashes