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Speaker 1: Hi, guys, and welcome back to another new episode of

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Speaker 1: Couch Talks on You Need Therapy. My name is Kat

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Speaker 1: and if you are noticing that maybe I sound a

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Speaker 1: little bit more excited than I usually do on here,

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Speaker 1: it's because I am because today marks the two year

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Speaker 1: anniversary of You Need Therapy Podcast, and usually on Couch Talks,

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Speaker 1: I answer questions that you guys sent to me at

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Speaker 1: Catherine at You Need Therapy podcast dot com. Saide note,

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Speaker 1: you can still send some emails to me your questions,

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Speaker 1: but today we're going to do something different because this

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Speaker 1: is You Need Therapy second birthday and I wanted to

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Speaker 1: celebrate and the way I am going to celebrate with you,

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Speaker 1: guys is one saying thank you, like thank you so

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Speaker 1: much for listening and being a part of this for

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Speaker 1: the last two years or even the last week if

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Speaker 1: you just found out who we are. And how I

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Speaker 1: want to celebrate this year is by putting in my

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Speaker 1: favorite some of my favorite This was hard to choose,

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Speaker 1: but these are some of my favorite moments from the

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Speaker 1: podcast in the last year. So there were like a

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Speaker 1: bunch of moments that really stuck out, but I chose

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Speaker 1: three moments where I remember just being like immersed in

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Speaker 1: the content and it had nothing to do with anything

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Speaker 1: I said. I do want to say that I do

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Speaker 1: a lot of episodes on here by myself where I

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Speaker 1: just I'm teaching or talking to you guys about something

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Speaker 1: I'm passionate about, or answering your emails. And I've had

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Speaker 1: some freaking amazing guests this past year. And i will

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Speaker 1: say I've had some guests on the podcast that I

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Speaker 1: never thought i'd actually be able to have beyond my

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Speaker 1: my little show. So I'm so grateful for that, and

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Speaker 1: also I'm grateful for what I learned from these human

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Speaker 1: beings because as much as I'm an expert in my field,

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Speaker 1: there are other experts out there that I just love

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Speaker 1: learning from. And I also can learn from experts in

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Speaker 1: my field because one of the people on here is

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Speaker 1: a therapist. So I'm going to introduce you and play

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Speaker 1: back three of my favorite clips from the past year,

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Speaker 1: and hopefully if you haven't listened to episodes, that might

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Speaker 1: encourage you to go finish those episodes. But if anything,

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Speaker 1: you can get some of the wisdom and nuggets that

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Speaker 1: I have gotten from these because I'm thinking of that

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Speaker 1: TikTok video that is, like, what's a clip that lives

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Speaker 1: in your head? Rent free and like these three are

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Speaker 1: clips that like will forever live in my head and

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Speaker 1: I love them so much. So we're going to start

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Speaker 1: with a clip from my episode with Justin Baldoni, which

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Speaker 1: he was on an episode where we talked about Undefining

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Speaker 1: Masculinity that came out in August, and he is a actor, producer, director.

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Speaker 1: He now has his own podcast called the Man Enough Podcast,

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Speaker 1: and he wrote a book called Man Enough, which started

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Speaker 1: my whole like desire to have a conversation with him

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Speaker 1: because I read that book and it opened my eyes.

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Speaker 1: So he came on and he talked about I had

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Speaker 1: asked him a quite shit about like, oh, man, like,

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Speaker 1: I really don't have that many men that actually come

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Speaker 1: in my office. Like I know men are in therapy,

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Speaker 1: but the ability or it seems like the balance of

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Speaker 1: men to women ratio is very off when it comes

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Speaker 1: to therapy and doing this kind of work. And why

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Speaker 1: do you think that is? And he kind of talked

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Speaker 1: about something that kind of really opened my eyes because

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Speaker 1: I'm all about men having feelings and I do have

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Speaker 1: some unconscious bias in there based on the culture I

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Speaker 1: grew up in and and how I was also conditioned

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Speaker 1: to view men and to view masculinity. So I want

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Speaker 1: to play this clip. It was one of my favorite

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Speaker 1: things that he said, And I mean I could listen

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Speaker 1: to it a million times and it's still kind of

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Speaker 1: like jaw drops, like light bulb moments me even though

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Speaker 1: I know what he's gonna say, because it's that good.

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Speaker 1: So here is my clip um that I love that

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Speaker 1: lives in my head, rent Free with Justin Baldoni. It's

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Speaker 1: very surprising how many quote unquote woke women actually have

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Speaker 1: a lot of their own internal misogyny. And what that

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Speaker 1: looks like is, I think a combination a lot of things.

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Speaker 1: One is, we've all been raised the same way men

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Speaker 1: and women have been socialized in the same way. Women

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Speaker 1: have been socialized to view men in the same way

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Speaker 1: that men have been socialized to men and to be themselves.

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Speaker 1: So there is a part of many women while they desire,

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Speaker 1: I believe vulnerability in a man, there's a part of

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Speaker 1: them that has been trained to be disgusted by it. Well, yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's like in my head, I just thought, like be vulnerable,

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Speaker 1: but like not too much. And that's like I want

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Speaker 1: I want my partner to cry, but I don't want

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Speaker 1: him to be like too winy and so and what

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Speaker 1: is that line? Right? And that's a really tricky thing.

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Speaker 1: Glenn and Doyle writes about this and untamed the responsibility

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Speaker 1: that women have here, and really this is a woman's conversation.

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Speaker 1: I can't have the conversation for women. What are gonna

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Speaker 1: What I can tell women who are listening, assuming that

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Speaker 1: most of your listeners are women, is that be very

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Speaker 1: mindful of the moment a man opens up to you

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Speaker 1: and your reaction, because your reaction will train him whether

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Speaker 1: or not it's safe for him to open up. Because

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Speaker 1: if he can't open up with men and he does

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Speaker 1: finally open up with a woman and the woman loses

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Speaker 1: attraction or tells him to man up, which has happened

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Speaker 1: many times, you're creating a situation where a man literally

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Speaker 1: has nowhere to go. Now. I'm not pro men, as

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Speaker 1: I said earlier, putting their ship on women, but we

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Speaker 1: have to start somewhere, and there's nowhere for us to go.

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Speaker 1: The idea of going to a therapist is like climbing

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Speaker 1: Mount Everest for many men who have never trained, like

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Speaker 1: it's not going up and hiking your local mountain. It's

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Speaker 1: jumping right into Mount Everest talking to another dude, calling

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Speaker 1: another guy and be like, hey man, I'm struggling. That

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Speaker 1: does not exist in our vocabulary, which is why so

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Speaker 1: many of us men go to women and have made

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Speaker 1: women are therapists. Alright. So my second clip that I'm

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Speaker 1: obsessed with from this past year was from my episode

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Speaker 1: that I did with the freaking Amazing Woman and Kaisa,

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Speaker 1: who's a trainer and also has an amazing Instagram presence

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Speaker 1: and has created this platform to help get people moving

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Speaker 1: of all abilities and body sizes and all of that,

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Speaker 1: called just Move so at just Move on Instagram, go

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Speaker 1: follow that. She's awesome. And I saw a video that

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Speaker 1: was on her Instagram that had me in tears and

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Speaker 1: I sent it to Think. I sent it to Chase.

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Speaker 1: Chase Lockin was like, Chase, I need to get her

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Speaker 1: on the podcast, not thinking she would ever be on

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Speaker 1: the podcast. And then she did, and then she came

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Speaker 1: on the podcast, and in the very beginning she was like,

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Speaker 1: just so you know, I hate doing this kind of stuff.

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Speaker 1: And then we couldn't stop talking because we had such

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Speaker 1: a good conversation. And there's a clip that I love

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Speaker 1: from her where I had started to talk about the

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Speaker 1: body positivity movement and she thought we were going to

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Speaker 1: have this big disagreement, but really she said everything that

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Speaker 1: I wanted people to say out loud about just body positivity,

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Speaker 1: the body positive movement, body neutrality, pots of body image.

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Speaker 1: I give a body image. It's so convoluted in like

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Speaker 1: muddy right now, we're mixing them all up. And don't

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Speaker 1: think I said body neutrality. That's in there too. And

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Speaker 1: so it was just an awesome moment where so much

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Speaker 1: like power and like it was like you could tell

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Speaker 1: her passion for what she believes and what she has

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Speaker 1: learned to be true for her that I also aligned

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Speaker 1: with came out. So I want to show this clip

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Speaker 1: again because it just like got me going. And I

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Speaker 1: will say, if you haven't listened to this whole episode,

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Speaker 1: go listen to the whole thing, because she even had

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Speaker 1: me tear up towards the end because of some of

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Speaker 1: the stuff she was saying. And she just has so

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Speaker 1: much passion in her She's an incredible human I mean,

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Speaker 1: every person on the podcast has been an incredible human being,

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Speaker 1: but she's an incredible human being. And what she does.

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Speaker 1: There's so much love and empathy behind it, and I

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Speaker 1: just think that's so cool and can be very rare

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Speaker 1: in the fitness community. So here's that clip, and again,

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Speaker 1: if you haven't listened to that episode, I'll link all

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Speaker 1: these episodes in the show notes. Go listen to the

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Speaker 1: full one, because by far top three favorite episodes was

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Speaker 1: definitely with her. We're gonna have a little argument right here, Okay, okay, No,

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Speaker 1: I love that. I'm actually not a fan of the body. Okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: then then that's good. We I don't know that we'll

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Speaker 1: get in an argument. I want to hear why. I

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Speaker 1: want to hear why, because it's still summing up that

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Speaker 1: women are what their body is. I'm like, why why

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Speaker 1: do we have to talk about the body? Body positivity

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Speaker 1: would literally be not talking about my body at all.

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Speaker 1: Leave my body alone. Okay, I'll talk about my body

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Speaker 1: because body positivity is standing in the mirror saying I

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Speaker 1: like this about my So all you're reinforcing is that

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Speaker 1: what you look like is important and you have to

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Speaker 1: love all that. Like that's to me, that's there's nothing

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Speaker 1: positive about that. I don't. I don't. I don't like

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Speaker 1: the body. We just shouldn't have to talk about it.

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Speaker 1: You shouldn't have to talk about it. You shouldn't be

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Speaker 1: defined by what we look like. Body neutrality is the goal.

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Speaker 1: The goal is is that my body. I'm not on

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Speaker 1: the roller coaster ride of where my body's at in

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Speaker 1: any given season. I had this whole conversation. I think

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Speaker 1: this is where the self care started, the self love video,

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Speaker 1: because last year was really fucking difficult. We all went

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Speaker 1: through a pandemic. It was very hard times, very very

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Speaker 1: hard times for everybody. Everybody experience it differently for me personally,

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Speaker 1: as I am on social media and people, you know,

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Speaker 1: people looking at me as like, you know, the definition

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Speaker 1: of health or what it had to be. I was

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Speaker 1: going through my own roller coaster ride of I didn't

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Speaker 1: have any motivation to move. I was gaining weight. I

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Speaker 1: was unhealthy. When I don't move my you know, mental

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Speaker 1: health goes out the window. So I was going through

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Speaker 1: a very very difficult time sitting there telling me to

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Speaker 1: look in the mirror and just love my stomach. What

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Speaker 1: is that like? I had this whole thing about, Oh, yes, okay,

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Speaker 1: we're not gonna argue because that's my that's my point,

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Speaker 1: is I don't think I'll ever look in the mirror

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Speaker 1: and say I love my stomach. One. I'm not interested

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Speaker 1: in doing that because my stomach looks different every single day, um,

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Speaker 1: regardless of month to month. And so that is the

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Speaker 1: energy that I would like to promote out there. And

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Speaker 1: I think what I see that gets mixed up and

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to get more detailed with this and hopefully

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Speaker 1: I can I can in the future. Is that the

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Speaker 1: body positivity movement and having having positive body image are

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Speaker 1: two different things, but they're getting tied together. Positive body

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Speaker 1: image is I think more along the lines of body neutrality,

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Speaker 1: where I might not like what my body looks like,

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Speaker 1: but also it doesn't matter because what I'm doing is

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Speaker 1: I'm taking the worth aspect and the value aspect away

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Speaker 1: from my body in any part of my body, any

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Speaker 1: aesthetic thing, and I'm I'm understanding that worth is something

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Speaker 1: that you're I'm born with and it I don't get

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Speaker 1: to have more and I don't get to have less.

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Speaker 1: It just is that, and what I look like is

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Speaker 1: just that, and we're moving on. That's what I believe

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Speaker 1: is having positive body image. When I say like I'm

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Speaker 1: glad that they're this push towards body positivet I'm I'm

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Speaker 1: glad that people are starting to stop ripping people down,

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Speaker 1: and I'm glad people are are are attempting to allow

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Speaker 1: there to be more inclusivity when it comes to bodies.

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Speaker 1: But I think what I hear you, which is good

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Speaker 1: for me to hear too, is really we should take

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Speaker 1: that out and just stop talking about it, because if

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Speaker 1: we weren't talking about it, then it actually wouldn't be

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Speaker 1: an issue. The reason that we're talking about is because

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Speaker 1: it is an issue. Yeah, And I mean on the

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Speaker 1: bigger level, you know, corporations now, everybody is making a

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Speaker 1: ton of money on body positivity. And I'm like, again,

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Speaker 1: women are continuously summed up by what they look like.

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Speaker 1: Stop talking about what we look like. Start talking about

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Speaker 1: what we're doing in this world. Women are doing incredible things.

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Speaker 1: Women run the damn world. Talk about what we're doing.

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Speaker 1: Stop talking about what we look like. Okay. And for

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Speaker 1: my third favorite clip, this is one with my friend

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Speaker 1: Tara Booker. And Tara is a therapist who lives and

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Speaker 1: works in Nashville. I'm met her years ago, probably like

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Speaker 1: almost ten years ago, when I worked at the treatment

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Speaker 1: center that I worked at and she is somebody who

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Speaker 1: was created to be a therapist, you know, like just

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Speaker 1: as was created to do the work she does, and

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Speaker 1: also somebody who does her work with so much passion

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Speaker 1: and belief in what she does. Not to say that

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Speaker 1: we don't all have bad days as therapists, but I

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Speaker 1: had her on to talk about spirituality and faith in

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Speaker 1: religion because I will tell you if our spirituality and

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Speaker 1: faith and religion and all that stuff hasn't been rocked

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Speaker 1: within the last couple of years of the world being

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Speaker 1: in kind of a disarray, I don't know when it

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Speaker 1: will be. It definitely was for me, and I just

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Speaker 1: loved having a conversation with her about the truth of

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Speaker 1: what we've come to know about all of that for

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Speaker 1: us and how we get to define it in a

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Speaker 1: way that works for us. And it just felt very

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Speaker 1: good to have this conversation. So I had asked her

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Speaker 1: what she thinks the difference between spirituality, faith, and religion is.

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Speaker 1: And this is one of my favor clips from the

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Speaker 1: year because it was just very helpful and eye opening.

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Speaker 1: Debt put some language behind this, and I do want

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Speaker 1: to say, because this can be quite a touchy subject

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Speaker 1: for some this is coming from her beliefs and my beliefs.

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Speaker 1: They don't have to be your beliefs, and if they

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Speaker 1: don't align with you, you get to just kind of

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Speaker 1: leave them at the door. But if they do align

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Speaker 1: with you, that's awesome. Then I hope that it can

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Speaker 1: help you the way it helped me put some language

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Speaker 1: to some things that felt intangible. I guess it would

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Speaker 1: be a good word. So here's that clip with Tara.

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Speaker 1: I think I'll start in the simplest way. When I

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Speaker 1: think about the word spirituality, I think about words like peace, love, full, safe,

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Speaker 1: and the visceral experience of being connected and being able

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Speaker 1: to say that is a word I am in right now.

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Speaker 1: I think about spirituality in that way, and to kind

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Speaker 1: of expound on that, found what comes in those in

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Speaker 1: those kind of labels that we use for experiences, those words.

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Speaker 1: I think what comes with that is an idea of

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Speaker 1: like capital T truths and everybody has their own, right,

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Speaker 1: I think that's what's so That's what's maybe one thing

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Speaker 1: that's different about religion spirituality. It's like in spirituality, you're

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Speaker 1: like capital T truths, the truths that are foundational to

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Speaker 1: you that you kind of come to come to an

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Speaker 1: understanding of this is what I believe about me in

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Speaker 1: the world that I think is spirituality. It's not necessarily

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Speaker 1: rational or reasonable, reasonable or logical or scientific, necessarily or

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Speaker 1: even emotional. It's just this place where I just feel

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Speaker 1: like I just this is just what I know and

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Speaker 1: equivocally without also any ability to explain why. So that's

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Speaker 1: something that I think is a good frame for spirituality potentially,

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Speaker 1: is just what do I believe foundationally at the heart

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Speaker 1: of all things of me, of the world. And then religion,

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Speaker 1: you know, is more of the institution. I think we

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Speaker 1: hear that a lot. I think a good analogy is

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Speaker 1: like education is to school, as spirituality is to religion.

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Speaker 1: That's so good. Did you just speak of that? As

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Speaker 1: I was thinking about having this conversation that came to me.

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Speaker 1: That is so good. Like we may get an education

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Speaker 1: in school, yes, you also may not get a real

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Speaker 1: true education depending on so you can also get an

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Speaker 1: education outside of school. There you go, wow, Okay, so

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Speaker 1: that's the institution that we've created in order to hopefully

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Speaker 1: the ideal is to connect with that thing right, to

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Speaker 1: possess a sense of spiritual truth, a sense of knowing,

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Speaker 1: sense of peace, all that, and and so religion becomes

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Speaker 1: hopefully like a place we go to get some of that. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I have a lot of feelings about that that are

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Speaker 1: coming up, and I'm my goal for this conversation was

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Speaker 1: not to go on tangents, but it's gonna happen because

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Speaker 1: I think that sometimes again this is my opinion, we

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Speaker 1: put too much of our expectation and are too much

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Speaker 1: of our foundation as you use that word in the

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Speaker 1: religion versus the spiritual process and just the spirituality of it.

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Speaker 1: So I think that is a beautiful way to relate

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Speaker 1: this and and help people understand, because that's one of

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Speaker 1: the hardest things for people to separate of, like, well,

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Speaker 1: I can't be spiritual or I can't have spirituality in

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Speaker 1: my life and I can't and we'll talk about higher

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Speaker 1: powers and all that. I can't do that. I don't

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Speaker 1: want to do that because I have this icky experience

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Speaker 1: in my religion, in my church or whatever place you

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Speaker 1: grew up going. And they don't have to be connected

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Speaker 1: because plenty of people have horrible experiences in school, whether

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Speaker 1: it was growing up in school or going up to

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Speaker 1: higher education, and they're wildly successful and intelligent outside of

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Speaker 1: that and sometimes the school system fails kids. Yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 1: And then the other word was faith. Yes, faith. It's

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Speaker 1: interesting when I think out faith, I think what comes

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Speaker 1: to mind is like, that's just like an element of existence,

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Speaker 1: whether we like it or not. Like we're all having

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Speaker 1: the faith every second of the day, and that's just

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Speaker 1: like a belief in a trust in the unknown. Well,

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Speaker 1: you know what. Also, because you said we're all having

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Speaker 1: faith no matter what, I think that's really cool to

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Speaker 1: say because people are like, I don't have faith. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: but you almost have faith in the fact that you

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Speaker 1: don't have faith, you know. So I think that is

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Speaker 1: actually great to help us view what faith doesn't have

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Speaker 1: to just be not necessarily spiritual. It's not necessarily religious.

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Speaker 1: I think it just makes sense in those realms exactly.

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Speaker 1: But like we have faith in gravity like that it's

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Speaker 1: going to keep us to the ground. We're all just

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Speaker 1: like trusted in that and around every we are not

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Speaker 1: even thinking, we are just what we don't know what

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Speaker 1: is going on. But it's like, what are you putting

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Speaker 1: your faith in versus my faith is my spiritual There

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Speaker 1: you go. And I really beautifully said also that faith

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Speaker 1: is admitting our unknowing. It's not claiming to know anything,

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Speaker 1: it's actually believing like in and admitting and trusting at

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Speaker 1: the same time of saying I have no idea and

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Speaker 1: I'm going to do it anyways, right, which I think

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Speaker 1: shows up so much in the therapy. So there is

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Speaker 1: my birthday present to you need therapy a little I

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Speaker 1: Guess sandwich of some of my favorite moments from this

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Speaker 1: past year. I hope you, guys, if you hadn't heard

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Speaker 1: those clips, those were helpful, and maybe you go back

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Speaker 1: and listen to those episodes and if you have heard

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Speaker 1: them before, I hope they were good reminders of some

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Speaker 1: real goodness that came through in this past year. Again,

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Speaker 1: I want to say thank you, guys, no matter who

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Speaker 1: you are or no matter how many episodes you've listened to,

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Speaker 1: every single time you click play, I just want you

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Speaker 1: to know that that means a lot to me because

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Speaker 1: as much as I did this podcast to help other people,

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Speaker 1: I'm also realizing through I Guess the second year of

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Speaker 1: working on that I'm also doing this for me and

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Speaker 1: it's been really helpful for me to have a creative outlet,

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Speaker 1: to be able to have really cool conversations with people

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Speaker 1: to connect with you guys, even though I don't know

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Speaker 1: every single one of you, It's been really nice and

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Speaker 1: really fun and scary at times and also very worth it.

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Speaker 1: So thank you so much. And we're going into your three.

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Speaker 1: We're doing it. So get excited. I already have some

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Speaker 1: stuff planned that I am I want to stay excited again.

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Speaker 1: You guys know I overuse that word that I'm excited

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Speaker 1: about in this coming year, and have some guests and

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Speaker 1: some topics that I haven't yet touched on that deserves

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Speaker 1: some attention. So say it one more time. Thank you guys.

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Speaker 1: Happy birthday. You need therapy and I hope you guys

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Speaker 1: have the the Wednesday and then you need therapy. Second

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Speaker 1: birthday you need to have