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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that's making at work fitness more fun.

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Speaker 1: Forget desk treadmills, introducing desk trampolines. Bounce away the stress

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Speaker 1: while shooting up a couple of important work emails might

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Speaker 1: take a little.

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Speaker 2: Bit longer, but it's way more fun with launch Brook.

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Speaker 1: Thanks to Laser Stories, the segment where we read weird

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Speaker 1: news stories around the globe, just like everyone else does,

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Speaker 1: except we've got a laser, so the boying bros Just don't.

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Speaker 1: This first laser story is out of Denver. A ninety

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Speaker 1: one year old woman named Diane Featherby was attempting to

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Speaker 1: fly from Colorado to New York when she was stopped

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Speaker 1: by TSA. Oh, I mean, there's probably a lot of

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Speaker 1: metal replacements everybody. Brook's been working on her grandma voice.

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Speaker 1: What does it sound like when grandma gets stopped by TSA? Oh?

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Speaker 2: Would you like to do a cavity search?

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Speaker 1: Hello?

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Speaker 2: Just inviting me in. You probably wanted any action you

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Speaker 2: can get now.

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Speaker 1: Was she stopped for her fancy pill organizer with a

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Speaker 1: built in alarm?

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Speaker 2: Nope?

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Speaker 1: Maybe it was for her extra long shoehorn that she

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Speaker 1: had at the bottom of her suitcase.

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Speaker 2: My dad loves a good shoehorn.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't that either. Here's the TSA agent talking about

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Speaker 1: the incident.

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Speaker 3: Looks like a cane. It was brought by a ninety

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Speaker 3: one year old woman on Saturday, and when it was

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Speaker 3: placed through the X ray, because we do x ray

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Speaker 3: every piece of personal property people are traveling with, here's

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Speaker 3: what they found. This is called a cane sword, and

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Speaker 3: so the cane is concealed in the handle of the

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Speaker 3: sword itself. They are a big item at flea markets,

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Speaker 3: so people might pick that up, think they have a

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Speaker 3: handy cane to take it with them traveling, and then

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Speaker 3: when it gets X rayed, we see why, in fact,

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Speaker 3: it won't be allowed into the cabin of the aircraft.

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Speaker 2: She's like, when I did it bring my cane shotgun? Yeah,

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Speaker 2: apparently you're not allowed to have those on airplanes. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: it's weird.

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Speaker 1: Ninety one year old Diane said she was shocked to

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Speaker 1: learn that she had a cane sword.

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Speaker 2: I'm sure she was, Diane.

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Speaker 3: He didn't know.

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Speaker 1: She swear she did not know anything about it. TSA

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Speaker 1: believed her gave her a different cane from the pile

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Speaker 1: that people.

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Speaker 2: Leave behind and stealing.

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Speaker 1: Can somebody left it there, they're not using it, so

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Speaker 1: Diane grabbed it and was on her way. Or someone's like, yo, man,

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Speaker 1: they caught the ogre trying to st.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: This next laser story is out of Wayne County, Michigan.

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Speaker 1: A fifty six year old man named Luke Taser Hobson real.

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Speaker 2: Mad, that's his nickname, Taser name.

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Speaker 1: He was stopped off at a speedway gas station to

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Speaker 1: grab a coffee and a scratch off lottery ticket as

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Speaker 1: part of his normal morning routine, and when he went

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Speaker 1: back to his car, he took out a coin, scratched it,

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Speaker 1: and found out he won thirty thousand dollars.

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Speaker 2: I can't even imagine. I know.

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Speaker 1: Luke spent the next half hour looking the ticket over

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Speaker 1: until he finally went into the store to double check it.

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Speaker 2: Yes, it's a.

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Speaker 1: Good thing that he did, because the clerk noticed something

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Speaker 1: the fifty six year old missed. Apparently he didn't scratch

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Speaker 1: off all the zeros, so instead of thirty grand, Luke

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Speaker 1: won three hundred thousand dollars. What he's crying in the

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Speaker 1: gas station, dude, The opposite thing happens to me.

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Speaker 2: I scratch off the ten and I'm like, okay, it's

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Speaker 2: gotta be here. No, sir, you didn't win any to

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Speaker 2: the box.

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Speaker 1: After the celebration, he told the Michigan Lottery he intends

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Speaker 1: on using the money for a new car, his children's

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Speaker 1: college funds, and would invest the rest in a sweet

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Speaker 1: new sword king.

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Speaker 2: Kind of interesting he didn't say the college thing first,

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Speaker 2: but yeah, sure, yeah, I support him.

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Speaker 1: He says he's been doing this routine for eight straight years,

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Speaker 1: every single day, so winning three hundred thousand dollars sweet

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Speaker 1: poetic justice, and now he's only in the whole sixty k.

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Speaker 2: Lifetime. Got to keep buying those tickets. Eventually you'll get there.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: This next Lazer story is out of Food News.

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Speaker 1: Yes, Subways had quite the year in twenty twenty four.

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Speaker 1: They acquired a new CEO, redesigned their stores, and moved

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Speaker 1: into a fresh shaved meat system, much like Jersey Mikes.

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Speaker 2: What about that? I was just at a subway. I

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Speaker 2: want to get one of those foot long pretzels so bad.

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Speaker 1: I haven't been swaiting forever. Yeah, I mean they've also

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Speaker 1: pushed the boundaries on new products like that, including ghost

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Speaker 1: pepper bread, foot long cookies, and foot long churros.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah. Rebranding but their newest thing might beat it all.

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Speaker 1: What is it? Get ready for foot long Dorito's Nacho trays? Hello, yeah,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, I love Remember how Subway used to

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Speaker 1: be like the healthy, Like that isn't making us money?

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Speaker 2: He used to be eat.

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Speaker 1: Fresher new slogans just yeah, they know what Americans really want.

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Speaker 1: So we're gonna post a photo up on the Brook

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Speaker 1: and Jeffrey insta stories. But the foot long Dorito's Nacho

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Speaker 1: tray is a surprising collab between Subway and Dorito's. The

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Speaker 1: foot long tray features a bottom layer of nacho cheese Dorito's,

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Speaker 1: topped with gooey melted cheese, meat and other various toppings.

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Speaker 2: Tasty, it looks like that liquid cheese. Yeah yeah, yeah yeah.

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Speaker 1: Rumor has that the foot long nachos are going to

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Speaker 1: be available nationwide in spring of twenty twenty five.

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Speaker 2: You know, I'm so excited for the spring. Jeff Yeah,

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Speaker 2: body's ready.

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Speaker 1: This next Lazer story is out of Holiday Headquarters. Christmas

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Speaker 1: is right around the corner.

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Speaker 2: I can't believe it.

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Speaker 1: And if you have a real tree this year, you

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Speaker 1: may be thinking in the back of your mind after

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Speaker 1: the twenty fifth how the heck, am I going to

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Speaker 1: get rid of this thing?

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Speaker 2: Well, here's a reminder. You can always just eat it.

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Speaker 1: A few years we heard about an artisan baker in

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Speaker 1: the UK who authored a book called How to Eat

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Speaker 1: Your Christmas Tree.

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Speaker 2: We talked about it a little on the show. Yeah

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Speaker 2: nobody bought that book, Jeff, Well, we didn't go in

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Speaker 2: to practice after that, Jazz.

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Speaker 1: If you had bought it, you would have seen it

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Speaker 1: features dozens of recipes you can make using your eight

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Speaker 1: foot pine.

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Speaker 2: Okay, but does it matter what kind of pie? Any pie?

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Speaker 2: And at this point Dead I'm.

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Speaker 1: Imagining Dead stirring a giant cauldron with the whole thing,

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Speaker 1: like I got spruce souper. I think I think he's

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Speaker 1: just giving us some like wood chips to not a

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Speaker 1: hamster over here. Okay, negative nancies in the rooms during

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Speaker 1: the Christmas season.

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Speaker 2: Listen.

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Speaker 1: The needles can be used like rosemary or bay leaves

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Speaker 1: to help season stuff, or they're just a good source

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Speaker 1: of vitamin c is.

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Speaker 2: Eat them.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, like trail mix a little bag of pine needs.

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Speaker 2: They can also.

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Speaker 1: If I walk into the living room and my husband's

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Speaker 1: just gnawing on a branch, I should be fine with it.

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Speaker 2: You will visit it.

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Speaker 1: The other and doritos on your life. Also, they can

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Speaker 1: be crushed to flavor gin or vinegar.

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Speaker 2: I can see, brook, I know you like.

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Speaker 1: Come on, and the wood can be burned to make

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Speaker 1: pine ash, which can be used as fertilizer in your

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Speaker 1: garden or to help you clean up your kitchen.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm getting behind that one. And that's it.

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Speaker 1: And apparently eating your Christmas tree is a trend that

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Speaker 1: maybe picking up steam. Reports this week say some families

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Speaker 1: are jumping on TikTok and other social media outlets with

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Speaker 1: new recipes on how they plan to feast on a

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Speaker 1: slow cook stump.

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Speaker 2: Okay, if my Christmas tree is made out of Nacho's,

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Speaker 2: we could talk.

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Speaker 1: But as for this guy, he doesn't even bother putting

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Speaker 1: up a tree because it takes him a month to

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Speaker 1: decorate it at the pace he moves and an entire

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Speaker 1: year to take it down, so it's not even worth it.

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Speaker 1: That's how means Laser Stories has come to an end

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Speaker 1: for the day. We'll do it again, same time on Friday,