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Speaker 1: School of Humans.

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Speaker 2: This is Queer Chronicles. This is my personal entry Queus.

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Speaker 2: This is Queer Chronicles. I found Ballroom Honestly, it was

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Speaker 2: just to like Google. If I'm being completely honest.

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Speaker 1: Remember Safara, she's eighteen from Austin, Texas and one of

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Speaker 1: the youngest members.

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Speaker 2: Of a local ballroom fan. So, ballroom is this community

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Speaker 2: that started in New York City, and it's basically an

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Speaker 2: underground community started by black and Hispanic trans women. And

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Speaker 2: it started as a way for you know, queer kids

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Speaker 2: who are kicked out of their home from their you know,

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Speaker 2: biological families. They started houses as like a chosen family

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Speaker 2: in community so everyone could just you know, look their

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Speaker 2: best lies.

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Speaker 1: Ballrooms legacy is rich and layered. While these events go

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Speaker 1: back at least a century, the current system, founded by

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Speaker 1: black trans pioneer Crystal Labasia, got its start in nineteen

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Speaker 1: seventies New York. Today you can find ballroom communities all

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Speaker 1: over the world, and of course, if you want a

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Speaker 1: little Southern flare, travel on down the Austin Honey. Ballroom's

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Speaker 1: impact on culture is indelible. It's inspired television shows, iconic documentaries,

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Speaker 1: a few hit songs, and one queen Diva's recent album

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Speaker 1: and record breaking world tour. Here's a hint. She's a

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Speaker 1: Texas girl, just like Safara.

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Speaker 3: Tonight, Acetown is going down.

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Speaker 1: A big part of ballroom culture is holding balls, which

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Speaker 1: essentially our extravagant and elaborate contests where folks compete or

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Speaker 1: you'd say, walk, in different categories. Those categories often include

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Speaker 1: some glorious mix of performing, voguing, lip syncing, and modeling.

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Speaker 1: And it's a relatively new world for Sofara. She attended

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Speaker 1: her very first ball not too long ago, in September

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Speaker 1: twenty twenty two.

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Speaker 2: It's actually a funny story. So I told my mom

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Speaker 2: that I was going to like a little get together

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Speaker 2: thing in secretly, me and three my friends we decided

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Speaker 2: to go to a ball in downtown Austin. I was

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Speaker 2: very nervous because you know, I'm like seventeen, and so

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Speaker 2: it was like a but you know, I just wanted

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Speaker 2: to give it up and I want to see them

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Speaker 2: be real.

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Speaker 1: Fab Ball categories are known for their high fluten, mesmerizing

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Speaker 1: glamour and grace, but there's more to it than that,

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Speaker 1: in fact, and let me put my little sociology hat

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Speaker 1: on here. In a world where our queer and trans family,

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Speaker 1: especially of color, often face struggles and barriers. Ball serve

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Speaker 1: as a fierce commentary on class, race, gender, and sexual orientation. Translation,

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Speaker 1: here on the floor, folks get a chance to be

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Speaker 1: seen the way they want to be seen. It's about

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Speaker 1: fantasy and reality colliding to create an eclectic tapestry of

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Speaker 1: human expression. For instance, if you want to walk the

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Speaker 1: runway category, you better work it like the supreme doll

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Speaker 1: Naomi Campbell herself. And there's a lot of unspoken criteria

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Speaker 1: to excel in the femme queen realness category. But just

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Speaker 1: to start, you have to be one of the girls

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Speaker 1: that is a trans woman, and you have to serve

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Speaker 1: pure confidence and fearlessness from head to toe.

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Speaker 2: I walked realness and runway, and I diget my tens

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Speaker 2: and realness so that I was bad. But I did

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Speaker 2: get chopped in runway, but it was only because I

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Speaker 2: didn't like have the gloves on in the category. Call

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Speaker 2: for gloves is the whole thing, and.

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Speaker 1: This whole thing is a family affair, or more precisely,

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Speaker 1: a a chosen family affair. It's complete with houses, house mothers,

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Speaker 1: house fathers, house siblings. The whole nine, and so far

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Speaker 1: As first performance made an impression on one ballroom family

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Speaker 1: in particular. Oh Yes, she was approached by Natalie Sanders Lapour,

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Speaker 1: the mother of the House of Lapour Naturally, a new

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Speaker 1: and rapidly growing collective that exploded on the Central Texas

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Speaker 1: scene in twenty twenty.

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Speaker 2: She just came up to me at the ball and

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Speaker 2: she was like, Hi, how are y'all? And I was like,

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Speaker 2: oh my god.

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Speaker 1: Hi.

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Speaker 2: Two days later, she somehow saw like me, like us

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Speaker 2: on Instagram or something. I don't know, but she by

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Speaker 2: like the grace of everything of the ancestors, she found

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Speaker 2: my Instagram page and she was like, hey, it's like

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Speaker 2: I saw you walk at the ball and you were

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Speaker 2: really fat. Do you want to come to a practice?

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Speaker 2: And I was just like I didn't cry, but I

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Speaker 2: was just like so like amazed. I was like what

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Speaker 2: the hell, Like how did I get like an invite

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Speaker 2: to a practice? How to even find my Instagram? I

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Speaker 2: don't know?

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Speaker 1: And just like that Miss so Far had a arrived.

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Speaker 2: But so I went to the practice and after the

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Speaker 2: practice she formally invited me to join the assho before

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Speaker 2: and I've just been like really really happy and I

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Speaker 2: think It means a lot for me because barroom is

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Speaker 2: just everything black, queer, black, trans. So for me, it's

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Speaker 2: just I get to live in a space where I'm

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Speaker 2: like normal. I don't have to feel othered or like

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Speaker 2: ostracized and abnormality in some way. There's just so much

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Speaker 2: history and love and like queer, joy and ballroom and

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Speaker 2: that's what makes it a special mean. I just feel

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Speaker 2: like my whole life is going to be Borroom. I'm

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Speaker 2: gonna be like fifty years old, still on a judge's

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Speaker 2: panel for ball I want to be in Boroom forever.

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Speaker 1: From School of Humans, The Outspoken Podcast Network and iHeart Podcasts,

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Speaker 1: This is Queer Chronicles, a show where queer folks document

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Speaker 1: their personal lives and experiences in their own words, and

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Speaker 1: I'm your host, Raquel Willis. This season, a group of

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Speaker 1: teenagers are sharing their perspectives on growing up queer, trans

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Speaker 1: and gender not and conforming while living in mostly Red States.

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Speaker 1: And today it's the Safar Show.

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Speaker 2: You just heard that.

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Speaker 1: She He's one of the most promising girls on the

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Speaker 1: ballroom scene, and she's also a bit of a genius.

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Speaker 1: She's headed to Harvard for college this fall, but before

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Speaker 1: soaring to these spectacular heights, Safara had to go on

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Speaker 1: a journey of self love, one that would help crystallize

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Speaker 1: her trans identity and set her on the shining path

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Speaker 1: she walks today. Little Saphara grew up in a small

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Speaker 1: town outside of Dallas, and from kindergarten through seventh grade

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Speaker 1: she went to a school that she described as very white,

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Speaker 1: very racist, and very queer phobic.

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Speaker 2: Just you would go around in the hallway like at

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Speaker 2: the end of the day and you would just hear

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Speaker 2: the M word, but you wouldn't see any color. You

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Speaker 2: wouldn't se any like black people, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 2: So it's just like very like, oh, this is not

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Speaker 2: really a place for me. Like this is clearly like

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Speaker 2: not a place for me.

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Speaker 1: But little Safara had to figure out how to make

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Speaker 1: the best of it. That meant making friends at school,

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Speaker 1: even though those friends didn't always treat her well.

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Speaker 2: I was always the butt of the joke and every

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Speaker 2: single friend group that I had. It was because, like

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Speaker 2: I was kind of nerdy, but it was mostly because

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Speaker 2: I was also the black kid. I know. It was

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Speaker 2: because the jokes also were like monkey and like big lips.

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Speaker 2: I was friends with a lot of people who didn't

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Speaker 2: respect me or like by people. And I remember there

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Speaker 2: are so many points in time where I was having

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Speaker 2: to like fit through people talk about, oh, black women

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Speaker 2: are ugly, you know what I mean, and they just

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Speaker 2: say that to my base. I think that also probably

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Speaker 2: made me take longer to come out or like realize

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Speaker 2: my gender identity fully was I don't know, it was

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Speaker 2: like I was directly scared of the treatment that I

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Speaker 2: would get as like a black woman, and so I

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Speaker 2: was like, it's not going to think about that. I'm

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Speaker 2: not going to think about that possibility because there there's

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Speaker 2: no way that I can go through that, or like,

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Speaker 2: there's no way that I could handle what it's like

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Speaker 2: to be a black woman with seeing the hatred that

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Speaker 2: black women get just serving black women.

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Speaker 1: Look, I have to take a second to validate where

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Speaker 1: so far is coming from. I experienced immense bullying and

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Speaker 1: isolation for my race and gender in my earliest years too.

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Speaker 1: No one should have to endure that mess, especially young

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Speaker 1: black trans folks, because internalizing this kind of language, this

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Speaker 1: warped way of seeing yourself can be extremely damaging. And

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Speaker 1: when you endure that even before owning your transness, it

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Speaker 1: can make you fearful of what lies on the other

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Speaker 1: side this environment. These dynamics hurt sfar self confidence and

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Speaker 1: made it harder for her to love herself.

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Speaker 2: For who she is. Almost every single day after school,

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Speaker 2: I would look in the mirror and just be like,

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Speaker 2: I'm so ugly. I hate myself. I literally hate how

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Speaker 2: I look. I had a thought in my mind constantly

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Speaker 2: for like the entire first like twelve years of my life,

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Speaker 2: of I feel bad for the people in my life

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Speaker 2: because they have to look at me every single day

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Speaker 2: and I'm that ugly that I feel bad that they

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Speaker 2: have to look at me. Like I'm glad to be

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Speaker 2: myself just because I don't have to look at me

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Speaker 2: every single day except for when I look in the

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Speaker 2: mirror and brush my teeth. It was really draining looking

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Speaker 2: back on it, and it also numbed my personality. I

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Speaker 2: think that and not realizing and like fully knowing my transidentity.

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Speaker 2: I was a shell of a person. I wrote my

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Speaker 2: college I say about this, but like, I didn't have

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Speaker 2: a personality until literally, I would say, until like COVID

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Speaker 2: the pandemic, which is when I figured all of that

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Speaker 2: out and really understood my transidentity, really began to understand

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Speaker 2: and learn into my culture. It's actually like really strange.

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Speaker 2: Like sixth grade, I tried myself to sleep and I

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Speaker 2: wrote like a note sad thing about how I felt

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Speaker 2: like I was a sociopath because I felt like I

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Speaker 2: didn't have a personality and I just replicated anything that

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Speaker 2: I saw and whatever people did around me. I just

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Speaker 2: did what other boys did. I just hung around other

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Speaker 2: boys like I didn't I didn't have anything of my own,

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Speaker 2: you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: I'm curious what it was like for you to deal

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Speaker 1: with being one of the only black kits in a

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Speaker 1: lot of these spaces, but also dealing with being you know,

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Speaker 1: queer or gender non conforming in these spaces too.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it took me a long time to like find out,

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Speaker 2: Like I know, like everyone's like transitions has their own timeline,

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Speaker 2: And for me, it wasn't like incredibly vastly apparent that

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Speaker 2: I was a girl from the jump, you know what

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Speaker 2: I mean. Like I felt a lot of like comfortability

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Speaker 2: and like being a gay man. For like a while,

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Speaker 2: I thought I knew what I was. I thought I

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Speaker 2: had it fully figured out in the back of my mind.

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Speaker 2: I remember, like I would probably say since like fourth

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Speaker 2: or fifth grade was when I had the first thought of, well,

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Speaker 2: it would be great if I had if I had brass,

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Speaker 2: and it would be great if I was born a woman.

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Speaker 2: It would be better if I was born a woman.

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Speaker 2: But I was like, I always literally said, but I

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Speaker 2: don't want it enough to be like trans I don't

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Speaker 2: want enough to actually go through a transition, And that

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Speaker 2: always pop back up, like every six months or so.

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Speaker 2: There was an uncomfortability in these predominantly like boys and

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Speaker 2: men's spaces, and I never felt like I fully belonged there.

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Speaker 2: But I always thought like, that's just my personality, that's

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Speaker 2: just me being gay. I didn't think it was because

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Speaker 2: I was a girl the entire time.

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Speaker 1: The summer before eighth grade, Sofara moved to the Austin area.

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Speaker 1: This was a huge turning point for her. For the

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Speaker 1: first time, she met and befriended other folks who were

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Speaker 1: black and queer. These kindred souls allowed her to see

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Speaker 1: the multitudes of her identities in a different light.

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Speaker 2: Ninth grade was when I met one of my best

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Speaker 2: friends to this day. He was reading like Angela Davis

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Speaker 2: in seventh grade and stuff like that, so he was

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Speaker 2: already really radicalized, and he was the first person I

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Speaker 2: talked to about like prison abolition and all of these

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Speaker 2: different things. And so that was how I grew a

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Speaker 2: really close relationship with just my identity and my blackness.

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Speaker 2: Was like understanding black revolutionary politics, understanding that like there's

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Speaker 2: a revolution coming and like I'm going to aid to it,

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Speaker 2: you know what I mean, I'm going to play an

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Speaker 2: active role in it. And that was what allowed me

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Speaker 2: to really get in in that sort of sense. I

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Speaker 2: was like, I'm pro black, I'm unpacking respectability politics, and

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Speaker 2: now I'm going to just consume the fuck out of

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Speaker 2: like black media. I'm going to like really actively reclaim

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Speaker 2: everything that like I lost out in my childhood.

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Speaker 4: See that's I mean, that's another thing. When you talk

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Speaker 4: about a revolution, most people think violence without realizing that

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Speaker 4: the real content of any kind of revolutionary thrust laws

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Speaker 4: in the in the principles and the goals that you're

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Speaker 4: striving for, not in the world the way you reached them.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, reading Angela Davis will change your life. As so

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Speaker 1: far as consciousness was expanding in so many ways, she

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Speaker 1: reckoned with her old life back in Dallas and the

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Speaker 1: boys who made her feel small.

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Speaker 2: The awful friend group that I had during my seventh

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Speaker 2: grade year, we kept up through PlayStation Network and PlayStation

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Speaker 2: four parties, so I just did that too. It was

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Speaker 2: like I can have friends that way. One of my

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Speaker 2: like quote unquote friends would be like watching Steven Crowder,

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Speaker 2: which is like this republican like alt right influencer, and

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Speaker 2: he would just like be playing it in the background,

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Speaker 2: like not even like necessarily I don't think intentionally like

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Speaker 2: pissed me off, but just like he would be watching

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Speaker 2: it because he was so far down the alt right pipeline,

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Speaker 2: and it was just like, what the hell, what is this?

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Speaker 2: So like I had to say something. I was like,

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Speaker 2: I'm not just gonna be quiet about this. I was

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Speaker 2: like weekly or like bi weekly, having like strenuous, awful

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Speaker 2: like debates about like black women are pretty, or like

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Speaker 2: why y'all saying the in word? And honestly, I remember

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Speaker 2: because my friend who like radicalized me and also like

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Speaker 2: my other like black queer friend and like this trio

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Speaker 2: black queer friend group, I would like sometimes complain and

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Speaker 2: they'd be like why are you still there? Like why

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Speaker 2: what are you doing? And I was just like we're

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Speaker 2: in a pandemic virtual year, it's just easy to like

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Speaker 2: have friends at all. I don't want to be lonely,

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Speaker 2: So I'm just gonna stay being friends with them at

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Speaker 2: the same time as I'm bends with y'all, even though

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Speaker 2: like I know all of this, Like I know all

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Speaker 2: of these things, like I've fully radicalized in twenty twenty,

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Speaker 2: but I'm still going to be friends with them. And

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Speaker 2: I remember, like whenever the school year started in twenty

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Speaker 2: twenty one and like we came back in person, I

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Speaker 2: was like, I have too much self respect for myself

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Speaker 2: to like stay being friends with these awful people, so

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Speaker 2: like I block them on everything, and that was my

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Speaker 2: big one. I that I ate that way too late,

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Speaker 2: but I still ate that.

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Speaker 1: Saying that twenty twenty shifted so many of our lives

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Speaker 1: would be the understatement of the millennium. Beyond the obvious,

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Speaker 1: that is the novel coronavirus. Our collective values were put

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Speaker 1: on the world stage with the brutal murders of numerous

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Speaker 1: black people, including George Floyd, and a summer teeming with protests.

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Speaker 1: These events sparked a great learning and unlearning in our society.

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Speaker 1: For her part, so far was dismantling the anti blackness

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Speaker 1: and queer phobia she had internalized in childhood, and she

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Speaker 1: began embracing her gender identity.

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Speaker 2: Somewhere in that. In twenty twenty, I realized I was

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Speaker 2: a transoman, and I like came out to like my

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Speaker 2: trans mass friend, and we kind of like came out

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Speaker 2: to each other. It's like, oh yeah, what.

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Speaker 1: Kind of made you get to that point where you're like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm coming out as a trans woman, Like it's time,

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Speaker 1: let's go. So like, for instance, for me, it was

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Speaker 1: like I had a boyfriend at this time, my first boyfriend,

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Speaker 1: and he was a trans man, but we could understand

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Speaker 1: each other. At that point, I was like identifying as

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Speaker 1: gender clear, so I knew something genderly was happening. But

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Speaker 1: I remember us having these like conversations and I was

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Speaker 1: like there were just like two moments over the course

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Speaker 1: of like a weekend where we were like talking on

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Speaker 1: the phone because I was on a trip, and I

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Speaker 1: was like, you know, if I could just be a

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Speaker 1: woman all the time, everything would just be easier or

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Speaker 1: would just make more sense. And then the second time

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Speaker 1: I said that, it was just kind of like a oh, yes,

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Speaker 1: I'm a woman.

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Speaker 2: I remember it was me and my best friend. She

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Speaker 2: like took me with her family to Oklahoma and we

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Speaker 2: were like in cabins for like the winter, for like

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Speaker 2: Christmas break right, and I was like, we should start

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Speaker 2: a new show, we should start Pose. And I remember

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Speaker 2: like just I was watching like those first two episodes,

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Speaker 2: like and I was just immediately connected with Angel, and

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Speaker 2: I was just like, I'm a woman, and it was

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Speaker 2: like Angel and just seeing her and like her afro

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Speaker 2: and how pretty she was, and I was just like

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Speaker 2: that's me, Like that's who I am. Like I willant

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Speaker 2: to live like openly and just be pretty and just

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Speaker 2: be like you know what I mean. And so that

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Speaker 2: was like my I'm a woman moment for sure. I'm Angel.

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Speaker 2: This is why I love going to the balls.

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Speaker 1: When I'm able to be true to myself in a

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Speaker 1: space where that celebrated, that makes.

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Speaker 2: Me feel beautiful. Immediately I saw myself in such a

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Speaker 2: different light without like any hormones, without makeup. I was like,

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Speaker 2: I'm literally so pretty. I'm so like freaking pretty, like

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Speaker 2: with the exact same base. And I know, like you

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Speaker 2: don't glow up and like stuff like that, but it

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Speaker 2: was like I immediately felt pretty from just like identifying

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Speaker 2: as a trans person out, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 2: It was like taking photos on myself regularly as I

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Speaker 2: started taking pictures. I remember the first like model asqu

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Speaker 2: photo shoot that I did was on the first day

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Speaker 2: of my junior year, just like a self timer pick

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Speaker 2: photo shoot, and the pigs came out so good and

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Speaker 2: I had like some confidence and I was just like

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Speaker 2: looking back and then I was like, I'm pretty, Like

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Speaker 2: I'm really really pretty, Like there's no reason for me

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Speaker 2: to like ever think like that ever again. And even now,

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Speaker 2: like whenever I get my ff as my facial for sury,

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Speaker 2: I want bigger lits, you know what I mean. Like

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Speaker 2: I love my face, I love my blackness, I love

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Speaker 2: my lips. And so the one eighty is like amazing.

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Speaker 1: While there's often a lot of sensationalizing around trans women's

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Speaker 1: bodies and beauty, taking control of your esthetics can be empowering.

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Speaker 1: So Far lights up as she discusses her self love journey,

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Speaker 1: and her hopes for the future. It reminds me of

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Speaker 1: my early days on hormone replacement therapy, when I'd ecstatically

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Speaker 1: jot down every change I felt and saw in my journal.

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Speaker 1: I'd heard so many nasty things when I came out

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Speaker 1: as trans, that I'd never be a real woman, that

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Speaker 1: I'd never be beautiful or accepted. But the physical changes

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Speaker 1: made me feel validated. Both Safara and younger me were,

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Speaker 1: as Queen Bee says, comfortable in our skin. And for Sophara,

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Speaker 1: what better way to put this newfound confidence on display

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Speaker 1: than ballroom baby. More on that after the break. So

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Speaker 1: did you change? Because we're getting ready for one of

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Speaker 1: Safara's favorite parts of the week, ballroom practice with the

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Speaker 1: House of Lapoor.

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Speaker 5: My practice usually once a week, and we have like

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Speaker 5: open practices called like Vogue Sessions or like Vogue Academy,

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Speaker 5: which is like for any house or just anyone who's

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Speaker 5: not in the house.

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Speaker 6: And then we also have like our own house practices.

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Speaker 5: So today is going to be a house practice, and

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Speaker 5: we're getting ready for the Stop the r chky Ball,

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Speaker 5: which is going to be happening this Saturday in Dallas.

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Speaker 5: But for prep, it's just like we just like to

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Speaker 5: be comfortable getting something you can vogue in. And you know,

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Speaker 5: I always leave the house curly my lashes because it's

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Speaker 5: just like rightens your day.

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Speaker 1: Once Safar arrives, she'll embark on a strenuous two hour

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Speaker 1: rehearsal where she'll hone different elements of voguing and performance

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Speaker 1: for the upcoming ball. She'll be doing spins, dips, floor performances,

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Speaker 1: and duck walks, and these can be difficult moves, so

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Speaker 1: Mama needs to be comfortable on.

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Speaker 6: Some like at leisure. It also like still you know,

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Speaker 6: feel a little feel a little.

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Speaker 2: Cute because ballroom is very much like I don't also

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Speaker 2: like don't know like the rating of the podcast, but

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Speaker 2: like it's Kunti's that's what ballroom is. Kunti is like

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Speaker 2: you are just feeling like the ultra feminine existence, like

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Speaker 2: you are feeling power over everything with a feminine energy

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Speaker 2: to it.

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Speaker 6: It's the core a ballroom. And so I love like

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Speaker 6: having learned through ballroom and other black trans women because

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Speaker 6: it's like I have a better understanding of myself and

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Speaker 6: like conquering my own femininity.

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Speaker 1: That feminine energy so far as talking about, well she

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Speaker 1: exudes it. Stepping into her car on the way to

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Speaker 1: practice is like entering a pink fantasy.

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Speaker 2: So we are in. I think it's a Honda Civic

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Speaker 2: or like a Nissan I'm not a cargirl at all,

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Speaker 2: by the way, but it's on the inside. We have

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Speaker 2: a fuzzy, pink steering wheel. We have pink fuzzy dice

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Speaker 2: on the rear view marra thing. We have a pink

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Speaker 2: little cover thing on the middle console, and then we

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Speaker 2: have pink fuzzy seatbelt covers, and then we also have

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Speaker 2: a pink trash can in the back. So it's all pink.

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Speaker 2: It's all very elwoods, which is like so fitting because like,

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Speaker 2: I'm actually going to Harvard.

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Speaker 1: Hello Harvard, what Like it's hard kidding. Another perk of

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Speaker 1: going to the Ivy of all ivs is that nearby

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Speaker 1: Boston has a thriving ball community, so far got a

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Speaker 1: little taste of the scene during her prospective students visit.

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Speaker 1: She also attended a talent show hosted by the Black

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Speaker 1: Student Union. Our girl considered putting the other competitors to

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Speaker 1: shame and even practice a bit in the bathroom, but

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00:27:06,525 --> 00:27:10,765
Speaker 1: she felt nervous and decided to just spectate. She wasn't

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Speaker 1: sure her skills were up to par, but when they

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Speaker 1: announced the lip sync battle between the incoming freshmen and

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Speaker 1: the current freshman, she just couldn't help herself.

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Speaker 2: Me and these two other girls. I was like, let's

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Speaker 2: lip sync to Alien Superstar by Beyonce. We like played

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Speaker 2: the song and I just did a like freestyle like

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Speaker 2: voguing moment. I did a couple of little like rumway

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Speaker 2: bits in there, but it was just like I literally

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Speaker 2: blackout because that was like my first time voguing like

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Speaker 2: outside of like a house practice. So I was just

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Speaker 2: like it just took control over me, like the ballroom spirit,

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Speaker 2: and it was amazing. Literally everyone was gagging after, like

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Speaker 2: you ate the fuck out of that, and I like

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Speaker 2: hit like my did like at the very end, and

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Speaker 2: it was like it was really it was a cute

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Speaker 2: moment for sure. And obviously the freshman the incoming freshman team,

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Speaker 2: which is my team, we won. So you know, I'm

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Speaker 2: not a performance though girl, but like I practice at

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Speaker 2: the house practices and I get ready for when I

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Speaker 2: want to like pop out a little bit, you know.

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Speaker 1: Needless to say, Miss safar ate that lip sync looks

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Speaker 1: like those practices paid off in a major way, which

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Speaker 1: brings us back to the rehearsal space in Austin. When

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Speaker 1: we walk in, she looks like she's right at home.

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Speaker 7: Hey, coffee, so so we are in a studio space.

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Speaker 2: It's a place where we can get our work done,

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00:28:52,685 --> 00:28:55,045
Speaker 2: you know. But we kind of just all help each other out.

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00:28:55,125 --> 00:28:57,645
Speaker 2: The people who like have been doing performance a bit longer,

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00:28:57,765 --> 00:29:00,765
Speaker 2: they like help out a little the newcomers a little

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00:29:00,765 --> 00:29:05,085
Speaker 2: bit more. Mother helps look like everything she's been judging

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00:29:05,565 --> 00:29:08,725
Speaker 2: for years and years.

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00:29:08,525 --> 00:29:12,165
Speaker 1: And today so far we'll show her house mother Natalie,

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00:29:12,405 --> 00:29:16,205
Speaker 1: what she's got for the upcoming ball. It's her time

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00:29:16,285 --> 00:29:19,325
Speaker 1: to prove what she can do and get some necessary

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00:29:19,365 --> 00:29:24,325
Speaker 1: feedback so she can maximize her slage. They'll be going

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00:29:24,365 --> 00:29:28,245
Speaker 1: through those five elements of vogue. Here's the cheese sheet,

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00:29:29,045 --> 00:29:35,845
Speaker 1: spins and dips, hand performance, catwalks, duck walks, and floor performance.

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00:29:36,805 --> 00:29:40,725
Speaker 1: The dance studio has wooden floors, a wall of mirrors

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00:29:40,765 --> 00:29:44,125
Speaker 1: on one side and a few ballet bars on the other.

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00:29:45,485 --> 00:29:49,565
Speaker 1: Natalie has everyone lined up against the wall and one

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00:29:49,885 --> 00:29:56,485
Speaker 1: by one they bring it to the floor, creating lines, movement, symmetry,

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00:29:56,685 --> 00:29:59,565
Speaker 1: and flow.

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00:30:01,245 --> 00:30:07,285
Speaker 7: Up your go, here we go, here we go.

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00:30:07,565 --> 00:30:18,605
Speaker 3: As to falla Okay, all right, Then it spins and dips.

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00:30:19,565 --> 00:30:24,485
Speaker 1: Just imagine three hundred and sixty degree twirls faster than

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00:30:24,525 --> 00:30:28,485
Speaker 1: your eye can catch. Then falling to the ground and

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00:30:28,685 --> 00:30:30,645
Speaker 1: hoping to the heavens that you landed.

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00:30:30,925 --> 00:30:35,085
Speaker 2: So now I need to spend it way sign a

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00:30:35,205 --> 00:30:38,525
Speaker 2: liability form, so don't break your motherfucking bed.

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00:30:38,965 --> 00:30:44,645
Speaker 1: Sofara and her house siblings glide across the floor gracefully,

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00:30:45,245 --> 00:30:59,045
Speaker 1: fiercely and confidently. Okay, and now time for one of

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00:30:59,125 --> 00:31:05,765
Speaker 1: Safara's favorite categories, runway. Everyone is back up against the wall,

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00:31:06,125 --> 00:31:11,205
Speaker 1: ready to strut, serveface and prayms.

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00:31:10,645 --> 00:31:11,965
Speaker 2: Sir, who's next?

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00:31:12,085 --> 00:31:12,885
Speaker 7: Pumping in walking?

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00:31:12,925 --> 00:31:13,805
Speaker 2: You're popping and serving.

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00:31:13,885 --> 00:31:14,485
Speaker 7: Yet pumping and.

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00:31:14,525 --> 00:31:17,205
Speaker 2: Walking gets serving in pups. Pumping in walking gets serving.

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00:31:17,245 --> 00:31:19,805
Speaker 2: You're pumping your walking, get serving your wine's FLEs.

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00:31:19,885 --> 00:31:21,925
Speaker 7: Walk, sir.

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00:31:23,045 --> 00:31:28,925
Speaker 1: When so Far walks runway, you see her transform. Her

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00:31:29,045 --> 00:31:34,445
Speaker 1: movements become a little sharper, her facial expressions a little

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00:31:34,445 --> 00:31:38,725
Speaker 1: more dramatic, and it's like she goes from watching herself

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00:31:38,925 --> 00:31:41,765
Speaker 1: do the moves in the mirror to being out of

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00:31:41,805 --> 00:31:45,925
Speaker 1: her head and fully present in her body. As she

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00:31:46,045 --> 00:31:50,485
Speaker 1: struts across the floor. The confidence is palpable, and you

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00:31:50,685 --> 00:31:54,765
Speaker 1: get the sense that she's found herself not only in

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00:31:54,805 --> 00:31:59,485
Speaker 1: the moves, but in this community where she can be

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00:31:59,605 --> 00:32:04,845
Speaker 1: her most authentic self. For a black trans kid who

478
00:32:04,965 --> 00:32:09,965
Speaker 1: grew up surrounded by folks who didn't celebrate or respect her.

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00:32:10,525 --> 00:32:15,885
Speaker 1: This kind of space proves invaluable. I mean, she gives

480
00:32:15,885 --> 00:32:18,965
Speaker 1: it to you every ball Why you gagging?

481
00:32:19,085 --> 00:32:22,725
Speaker 2: So I feel like ballroom has changed my entire life.

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00:32:22,805 --> 00:32:25,285
Speaker 2: It is like literally made me so much more extroverted,

483
00:32:26,005 --> 00:32:28,685
Speaker 2: like made me like grow into my personality and my

484
00:32:28,765 --> 00:32:34,285
Speaker 2: confidence as a trans woman. When everyone in ballroom is

485
00:32:34,325 --> 00:32:37,605
Speaker 2: like loud and clear, do you get used to that? Like?

486
00:32:38,085 --> 00:32:40,805
Speaker 2: And it brings out like your extroversion a bit more

487
00:32:41,365 --> 00:32:42,965
Speaker 2: and it allows you to say what was on your

488
00:32:42,965 --> 00:32:45,565
Speaker 2: mind a little bit more. But it's brought out more

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00:32:45,605 --> 00:32:49,285
Speaker 2: of me into like these non ballroom spaces by being

490
00:32:49,285 --> 00:32:53,605
Speaker 2: in ballroom. And it's just like I don't know i'd

491
00:32:53,605 --> 00:32:56,685
Speaker 2: explained it my personality. I would just say it's it's fun.

492
00:32:56,805 --> 00:33:00,885
Speaker 2: Like I say, like what I'm thinking. I'm just like

493
00:33:01,525 --> 00:33:06,205
Speaker 2: your typical your typical kind it girl, like extraverted it girl,

494
00:33:06,325 --> 00:33:08,085
Speaker 2: Like I just really am that, you know what I mean?

495
00:33:09,125 --> 00:33:12,805
Speaker 2: Having a very close like black queer community and like

496
00:33:13,285 --> 00:33:15,445
Speaker 2: direct family that I can talk to and text it

497
00:33:15,445 --> 00:33:18,405
Speaker 2: any mot and they're gonna like ride for me. It

498
00:33:18,485 --> 00:33:20,925
Speaker 2: is so deeply important. And you won't even realize it

499
00:33:21,005 --> 00:33:22,205
Speaker 2: until unless she's like habit.

500
00:33:22,965 --> 00:33:27,605
Speaker 1: All the hours so far has spent rehearsing, all the

501
00:33:27,725 --> 00:33:31,685
Speaker 1: work she's done to figure out who she is and

502
00:33:31,725 --> 00:33:35,045
Speaker 1: how she wants to present herself in the world, all

503
00:33:35,085 --> 00:33:41,365
Speaker 1: that she survived. She's bringing it to this performance, and

504
00:33:41,445 --> 00:33:45,205
Speaker 1: she's in a room surrounded by others who get her,

505
00:33:45,725 --> 00:33:47,605
Speaker 1: love her, and cherish her.

506
00:33:48,525 --> 00:33:53,365
Speaker 2: This is what she deserves. That's my that's my fucker system,

507
00:33:53,805 --> 00:33:54,365
Speaker 2: and we back.

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00:34:13,285 --> 00:34:16,925
Speaker 1: Queer Chronicles is a production of School of Humans, The

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00:34:16,965 --> 00:34:23,445
Speaker 1: Outspoken podcast Network, and iHeart Podcasts. I'm your host Raquel Willis.

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00:34:24,045 --> 00:34:27,125
Speaker 1: You can find a list of resources in the show notes,

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00:34:27,205 --> 00:34:29,725
Speaker 1: including trans Lifeline and.

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00:34:29,765 --> 00:34:30,845
Speaker 2: The Trevor Project.

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00:34:31,605 --> 00:34:36,165
Speaker 1: This show was written by Jordan Bailey, Edalise Perez, Aaron Edwards,

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00:34:36,285 --> 00:34:41,045
Speaker 1: and me. Our story editors are Aaron Edwards and Julia Furlan,

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00:34:41,925 --> 00:34:47,605
Speaker 1: Produced by Jordan Bailey, Julia Farlan and Edalise Perez. Our

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00:34:47,645 --> 00:34:53,645
Speaker 1: senior producer is Amelia Brock, directed by Edialis Perez, sound

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00:34:53,725 --> 00:34:58,685
Speaker 1: design and mixed by mv al Raheem. Theme song composed

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00:34:58,685 --> 00:35:03,805
Speaker 1: by Jesse Niswanger, Casting by Jordan Bailey and Julia Furlan.

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00:35:04,685 --> 00:35:09,885
Speaker 1: Fact checking by Savannah Hugley. Our production manager is Daisy Church.

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00:35:10,605 --> 00:35:14,845
Speaker 1: Executive producers include Jay Brunson and Me from The Outspoken

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00:35:14,885 --> 00:35:20,045
Speaker 1: Podcast Network, Michael Alder June and Noel Brown from iHeart Podcasts,

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00:35:20,525 --> 00:35:24,845
Speaker 1: Virginia Prescott, Brandon Barr, and Elsie Crowley from School of

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00:35:24,925 --> 00:35:30,245
Speaker 1: Humans and The Cats Company. Special thanks to Mariah Gossip

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00:35:30,325 --> 00:35:34,725
Speaker 1: for capturing audio for this episode. If you're enjoying the show,

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00:35:34,925 --> 00:35:38,245
Speaker 1: please share it with friends and family, and don't forget

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00:35:38,285 --> 00:35:41,325
Speaker 1: to rate and review in your favorite podcast app.

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00:35:42,165 --> 00:35:43,765
Speaker 2: Tune in again next week